#the grey man

[jamneuromain]

A Whiff of Blood

Lloyd Hansen x You

Warning: Mob AU, Mob!Lloyd, Secretary!Reader, Graphic Depiction of Violence (I guess Lloyd is a warning of his own?), Reader has light hemophobia (fear of blood), and ofc, the direction mention and description of blood, sexual harassment

Summary: It is a dumb idea to be working for Lloyd when you have hemophobia.

A/N: Based on the prompt from the bingo challenge. The inspiration came from @rogerswifesblog / @rogerswifesblog-updates when we were talking about business dinners and such.

The whiff of blood drifts out of Lloyd's office. You scrunch your nose and pull out a piece of tissue with a floral scent to cover half your face.

It is a dumb idea to be working for Lloyd when you have hemophobia.

The smell grows stronger, so you uncap your perfume and spritz it all over you.

As long as you turn your head the other way, or mask the scent with something stronger, your phobia will not act up. And considering Lloyd is paying you a hefty salary and bonus, you don't complain.

After all, when choosing jobs, at best, you can only pick two features out of "well-paid", "light work", or "close to home".

You are lucky that you can drive for an hour on weekends to visit your mom who lives in the suburb.

The door to his office swings open with a loud "bang", as if - no, probably, Lloyd kicks it open, and out comes two bodyguards dragging a heavy black garbage bag.

Quite heavy. Like 70 kilograms heavy.

You wouldn't want to speculate what is inside.

You turn your head the other way, facing a rather pleased Lloyd Hansen, the mob boss who pays you to be his secretary.

"Mr. Hansen, I've secured the dinner tonight at 7 pm with Mr. Suza Brewer. He owns the biker gang Hellbend ever since you helped him take out the previous leader Fitzroy. You will be having dinner at the restaurant named Bird. It's adjacent to the Ritz-Carlton, so you can take your pick whether to stay in your suite or go back home. Either way, I'll go tell your driver Denny to get ready." You don't even bother getting up, spinning your chair in his direction, you hand him the files, with a polite smile on your face, "These, I need you to sign so your clubs will be running as usual. Your head accountant Marilyn has an appointment with you in fifteen minutes, and I've called the cleaning crew. They are ready to clean up your office right now."

Lloyd snatches a tissue paper from your desk, wiping his silver blood-stained ring on his middle finger clean, before tossing the reddened, soaked, and irritating odor tissue onto the ground and out of your sight. A small smirk on his lips, Lloyd purses his lips to stroke his mustache with his finger, "Send them in."

You nod, picking up your phone from your desk, when he holds up his hand to stop you for a moment.

"Good job, Y/N." He says curtly.

Lloyd's icy blue eyes zero on you. After a few seconds, he speaks up again, "You're coming to the dinner with me."

You nearly jump from your chair. Shocked, but most importantly, confused, because he has never asked you to present during business dinners.

After all, those who were qualified for "business" are either ruthless or sociopathic. While your boss Lloyd is both, you are neither.

"Mr. Hansen, I-"

"You're off for the rest of the day. Call Denny, he knows where to buy a decent dress." He pulls out his wallet from his inside pocket, and hands his black card to you, "Consider this a bonus." His tone unrelenting, pushing the card on the desk further towards you, he issues his final command, "And tell Denny to find you a stylist."

You swallow your refusal and take his black card.

You know he doesn't take "no" for an answer.

"Thank you, Mr. Hansen."

He hums impatiently, waving his hand to gesture that the conversation is over for him.

For the first hour of the said "business dinner", you try your best to focus on the food in front of you, instead of the Brewer man. He is a few inches shorter than Lloyd, but the look he delivers when he stares at you is simply...

Fearful. Even more than Lloyd.

Having worked for Lloyd for nearly three years, you witnessed he yelled, shouted, pulled out his gun to shoot someone's brain out (you vomited on to his shoes, very unfortunately, for which he yelled at you for approximately half an hour), and of course, being mad at some business partners and the determination in his eyes to eliminate his rivals. But none of his looks scared you like the creepy feeling Suza Brewer brings you.

Lloyd gives off the vibe that he will shoot you alive, while Suza Brewer could skin someone alive. And Suza has not stopped stealing glances in your direction ever since you and Lloyd presented in this dinner.

You look at your plate, cutting a small chunk of carrot in half. Trying your best to ignore the four bodyguards, two from Lloyd and two from Brewer, standing in the back.

Convincing yourself. Maybe this Brewer guy likes to look, similar to many men who passed by your desk to reach Lloyd's office.

You raise your eyes carefully, taking a long exhale as you continue to persuade yourself that Suza Brewer brought a lady to the dinner, probably also why Lloyd has asked you to come along.

After a few glasses of wine, the girl Suza brought sat on his lap boldly, feeding him bites of cherry tomatoes.

"I'll say yes to your proposal. You and me, 50-50." Suza suddenly lets out a laugh, "I just want one tiny thing to sweeten the deal." He squints his eyes, and points his finger towards you, "I want - her."

The small chunk of carrot lingers on your lips as you are about to eat.

The young girl's jealousy could tear you in half, Suza's greasy lips smack together, as if tasting your flesh, and Lloyd simply looks at you, with minimum expression you have ever seen on his face.

"Excuse me?" Lloyd clenches his teeth.

"C'mon, buddy." Brewer smacks Lloyd a bit too hard on his shoulder, barking laughter with his yellow crooked teeth exposed into the air, "You can't keep such a sexy thing all to yourself, eh?" He wiggles his eyes suggestively, "Don't tell me you haven't fucked her yet?"

Now you HAVE to say something.

"Mr. Brewer, I assure you that my work with Mr. Hansen is strictly professional." You smile politely, raising your glass for a toast, "In fact, I think that's what we all want, Mr. Brewer, to have a long-term stable business relationship with Mr. Hansen. Here's to our thriving partnership-"

Brewer gets up from his chair and sways towards you. He could barely walk straight but he still manages to stand behind your chair, lowering his head right where your ear is.

As he speaks, he reeks of wine and meat.

"I'm talking to your boss, bitch. " Brewer snarls, slapping your hand so hard that your wine glass falls to the table. Startling you when you are trying to stay calm. "You are but a plaything to Lloyd Fucking Hansen and I'll have you whether you like it or not."

Now here's the difference between Brewer and the rest of the men who pass you to get to Lloyd's office. For those men, they work for Lloyd, and hence, they wouldn't dare to touch "Lloyd's belonging", which is you. Brewer, on the other hand, is a total wild card, which you understand perfectly as Lloyd worked with him to kill Brewer's adoptive father Fitzroy.

He is as unpredictable and unstable as Lloyd, maybe even more so, because Lloyd certainly hasn't laid a finger on you ever since you worked for him, neither sexually nor violently.

You even your breath as Brewer leans closer He grabs your boobs with his hand, having you freeze on your seat.

"In fact, I'll invite him to watch how I fuck his pretty little whore."

The chill seeps deep into your bones. You urge your body to fight back, but sanity tells you that you would probably end up in a dumpster with a bullet hole on your forehead if you ruin this big deal for Lloyd. For a brief second, you think about begging Lloyd. But in reality, your mind is point blank as the mindset in between "fight or flight" kicks in, and it instructs your body to play dead.

It might be a few seconds. Or a few minutes, before your savior swoops in, saying something that sounds like mumbling to your brain.

"We're done here." Lloyd growls, snatching your wrist with a grip hard enough to bruise, tugging you harshly to leave. Your knee and thigh bump into the wooden arm of the chair, to which you bite your lip in pain, and still too shocked to get your language system back online.

"But our contract-" Brewer shouts to Lloyd.

"I'll get back to you." Lloyd snaps back, pushing and shoving your back to move before him.

Your mind is a blur and cannot recall how Lloyd stuffs you into his limo when he steps outside to smoke. He did, however, throw his coat onto you and shut the car door with a loud "thud", having front-row driver Denny lowering the panel between you, whispering with much concern, "What's wrong?"

You curl your fingers into the black woolen coat. Folding it neatly as you have done hundreds of times when he throws his coat over you or over your desk. Placing it on your legs.

"Here. I'll tune the AC up." Denny showers you with his sympathetic look, as he has never seen you so out of yourself, so soulless, and shivering.

Your mind has been replaying how Brewer grabbed your boobs, and the filth he talked about. You also know that you have nowhere to hide, if Lloyd is determined to get something done, if he wants to deliver you to Brewer.

Though the tinted car window muffled some of Lloyd's angry shouting, you are still able to comprehend that Lloyd just got mad again.

"... CALL ME WHEN IT'S DONE!" Lloyd yells at his phone, opening the car door, and sliding in, taking a big inhale of the warm air inside. Glancing at you, he seems not having returned from his angry state, "AND THIS COAT IS NOT -" He lets out a grumpy huff, "never mind."

After a moment of silence, you feel like you should make your statement, no matter if Lloyd being unreasonable. You simply have to.

It's your life at stake here.

"Mr. Hansen, I just wanted to tell you that it has been a pleasure working with you these past three years. i have gained much experience and knowledge working as your personal secretary and assistant. I want to express my thanks for you cultivating me into a qualifying secretary and no matter what happens, I would want you to know that I cherish our business relationship and accept the consequence."

Lloyd listens through your statement surprisingly patiently, and pinpoints the most crucial idea (he thought that it was) throughout your entire speech, "You want a raise?"

You stutter, "No-No! Mr. Hansen! I wouldn't - What you have given me is well beyond market average and I appreciate your confidence in me."

"Ah. So you want to quit?"

His cold blue eyes stare into you. You gulp in fear.

"Yes, I mean - No, I don't want to quit. But circumstances have ... arisen, which makes me wonder ... uh, if I was able to -"

"I've had enough of it." He grumbles, twisting the ring on his finger, "Your next sentence starts with 'I want' and stop using these big words, sunshine. One sentence. Not another word."

"I - I want you to not deliver me to Suza Brewer." You quickly say, "Mr. Hansen." You did your best to be respectful.

His grumpy expression lingers on his face for a second, before turning into disbelief, "That's all you're asking for?"

"Yes...? I really liked working with you, Mr. Hansen, and I don't want to be put into a position that you are choosing between me and your ... business." Seeing that his mustache is twitching, inching close to a sneer, you add, "If you could just let me go, and claimed that I slipped through your custody or got away as soon as I could, I think that Mr. Suza would not mind that much -"

His index finger points up to shush you.

Lloyd snorts, fishing out a box of tictac and popping two colored-candy into his mouth.

Crushing the sugary treat with his jaw, he closes his eyes and roots his upper body firmly onto the back seat, "Denny, take us to the warehouse by the Westside Pier."

The Westside Pier.

The one place Lloyd would go to if he captures a traitor or fulfills a hitman contract.

The one place he could make a body completely go away.

He's about to end ... you?

The cold October wind does nothing to help you fight against the icy feeling in your bones.

The stylist Denny founded accompanied you during shopping and chose a most-fitting black dress for you, which goes a little over the knees. Along with the warm AC everywhere, the length didn't bother you -

-until now.

You hold Lloyd's folded coat in your hand, following Lloyd out of the car with teeth clattering, more out of cold than of the horrible thoughts of what he would do to you.

Lloyd turns around, grunting in a sarcastic way, "Can't believe your clever brain didn't work out why the coat-" before he stops whatever that's about to go through his lips, roughly taking the coat from your hands and putting it around your shoulders, "Try not to freeze to death."

Your hesitant expression must have been obvious, because he looks at you and purses his lips in slight irritation, "Don't do anything stupid. And follow me."

What does this even mean? That he doesn't want to kill you after all? Or that he has changed his mind and thought you know too many secrets to be alive?

Your mind buzzing with thoughts as you follow Lloyd through the gate of the notorious warehouse.

The swinging lightbulb over your head and the faint smell of blood make you nauseous. You have not stepped foot into this warehouse because you have heard of the cruel things Lloyd has done to his opponents, all of which happened here.

"I don't care how much your boss pays you, I-I'll pay you double!" A man screeches pathetically, taking hit after hit on his stomach from Lloyd's muscle man as two other hold him upright.

Looking at Lloyd's direction, the man's swollen and bruised face lights up in an instant.

"Lloyd! Buddy!" He gobbles in a mouthful of blood, "So glad, ehhehe, you came!"

Lloyd grabs his hair, and punches him in the stomach.

"Fuck you, buddy," Lloyd swings another punch at Brewer's stomach, a cold smile on his lips, "fuck you, alright?"

A sharp scream of pain. "Lloyd, I don't understand-"

Lloyd drags his head in front of you, bending his neck to face you, to which you cover your nose because of the strong smell of blood bombarding your nerves. "There. She's my people. You disrespect her, you disrespect me. Got it, you dumb fuck?"

"Sorry!" The man shrieks his apology, "I'm sorry!"

Oh. So that's what he meant.

You bury your nose under his soft woolen coat. Burying the lower half of your face. Your cheeks getting warm, and a small grin creeps up.

Feels kind of nice. To have someone watching over you.

"Our business," Brewer pants, coughing out blood, losing a few of his teeth, "you need me to do our business, Lloyd."

Lloyd smirks, waving to gesture the removal of Brewer.

The man is still screaming he's sorry, but the two muscles hold him by his arms, forcing him to stand on the edge of the pier and tying a large rock around his waist.

"But Mr. Hansen," You stop him in his tracks, "your business, your deal with-"

You point towards Suza Brewer, now with a gag so all he could manage is some muffled voices.

"Don't worry your head around it, sunshine." Lloyd places his hand on the coat collar and tugging it tighter. The look on his face blank, but somehow more sincere than his cold grins, "I'm working with his stepbrother now. Pal is so grateful that I help him take care of Suza; he decided to offer me 70% of the cut."

You let out a whispered "Oh". Glad that Lloyd's "business" is thriving but also ... not that glad.

He's doing this for his business after all ... while he'd get to ... make it up for you?

A strange feeling tugging your heart. Some sort of relief, but not entirely. You are disappointed, somehow, as if you believed there should have been more to this gesture.

The muffled screaming stops after a loud splash comes from the edge of the pier.

The three muscle men return. One of them announces: "He's been taken care of, boss."

Smelling the whiff of blood on them, you can't help but crouch onto the ground and hurl your guts out.

Lloyd gestures those men to "beat it". And as the air clears from the smell of rusted iron and salt, a white handkerchief dangles in front of your eyes.

"Don't puke over my shoes again." Lloyd stands still, pinching his handkerchief between his index and middle finger, handing it to you.

You gag a few times, covering your mouth with the smooth white handkerchief, turning into another direction other than his shoes.

"Mr. Hansen, I don't know you -" You fight the instinct to be sick in front of him, standing up from your crouching position with wobbly legs, "carry a handkerchief." You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, wiping the corner of your mouth using the white fabric, now stained with the red smudge of your lipstick, "I'll dry clean it along with your coat, and send it-"

He seizes the handkerchief and stuffs it in his front pocket, "Don't bother."

He pats on your shoulder. The same way he would pat his men. A silent encouragement and praise of "Good work".

"Mr. Hansen, I-"

You want to say something. The precise moment when your heart skipped a beat and you've captured something vague in your mind, some terrifying yet imminent. Your bones rattle in the possibility of the blurry idea. But when his blue eyes turn to you, the idea takes its chance and slips from your mind.

"-thank you." Is all you could say.

"Wait for me in the car." He searches his pocket for his box of matches and cigarette, waving his hand, shushing you away, with the cig between his lips. He sounds stern as ever, but deep down, you feel like something has changed.

Lloyd watches you as you head back to the car. You, his tiny, fragile, delicate, poor little secretary who gets sick at the sight or the smell of blood.

He watches you still wrapped in his coat. When the cold October wind sweeps by your feet, you shiver under the warm expensive wool.

He stares for a long time when the match used to light his cigarette burns the tip of his fingers.

"Shit." He grumbles.

#lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen fluff #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen #the grey man #mob!lloyd hansen

[ronanlynchdefender]

The conversation between Maura and The Grey Man about Gansey and Adam is so meta because they’re basically voicing the audience’s perceptions of the characters.

The narrative is framed so all of us think that Gansey is the Main Character: Richard Gansey and his band of merry men (Maura’s pov)

We all assume this, but as you read the series it becomes increasingly clear that Adam Parrish is the Hidden Protagonist of the narrative. His desire, his need, to control his own life permeates the narrative. Adam takes action even when Gansey is afraid to (stopping Whelk, making the sacrifice) and subsequently propels the plot forward.

This is where The Grey Man’s perspective comes in: Adam Parrish and his band of merry men.

I LOVE that he says this because The Grey Man is an incredibly perceptive character, and while him and Adam have little (if any) interactions, he still notices who is really running the show here. He recognizes that Adam is probably a lot like himself: a guy everyone overlooks but with incredible power to make the difficult decisions everyone is afraid to make. And I just love that The Grey Man, in saying this, shows Adam respect and gives him credit where credit is due.

So this little disagreement between Maura and The Grey Man about who REALLY is the Main Character of this story reflects us. We see Gansey as the protagonist, but we also see Adam Parrish fulfill this role as well. Sometimes, it appears that Adam is even MORE of the main character than Gansey (in my opinion).

And the truth is that they’re BOTH main characters just in completely different ways. It’s honestly insane to me that Maggie can have these two widely different character journeys running parallel to each other in the same series, but she does it. And because they’re so different the development of each entangles and clashes with the other in fascinating and volatile ways.

GOD. It’s just so good I feel like I could teach a class about these goddamn books.

#THE GREY MAN AND ADAM NEEDED INTERACTIONS #these two characters are honestly very similar and it would have been interesting watching them interact #at least we have the ‘adam parrish and his band of merry men’ moment #richard gansey #adam parrish #the grey man #trc meta #meta #trc #the raven cycle #trk #the raven king

[vague-homosexual-crimes]

#one day I will have more than twelve answer options #today is not that day :/ #trc #the raven cycle #ronan lynch #adam parrish #richard gansey iii #declan lynch #matthew lynch #the grey man #maura sargent #calla #Persephone #noah czerny #henry cheng

[chxrryhansen]

౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Cherry’s Concepts 4/50

Character; Lloyd Hansen

Kink; Man handling

Dialogue; “Be a good girl and open wide.”

Requested by; Lara! <3

As always, this blog contains 18+ content only, your media consumption is your own responsibility, all dark content will be labled as such. Please read at your own risk.

₊♡₊˚ 🍒・₊✧

You already know Lloyd hasn’t had a good day at work when you hear the front door to your shared penthouse slam shut. Your heart rate instantly spiking upon his entrance.

You hated when he was angry, he always seemed to take out his stress and aggression on you, which you didn’t mind at first of course, but after a while being punished for something you didn’t do began to take a toll.

Lloyd would protect you from everything the world had to offer, except himself. As you sat on the couch you heard him slam his keys down against the bench and storm towards the living room.

He rounded the corner, his expensive white pants drew your attention in an instant making his thick muscular thighs look incredible. His black tight polo showed off his bulging muscles and broad shoulders, his hair was slicked back as always , his 90s porn stache making your knees feel weak. You stood up slowly and spoke softly

“Hey baby, how was your da-“

Your words cut off as Lloyd stormed towards you, holding your throat in a tight grip while he bent you over the couch. Before you could even respond he pulled your soaked panties down to your thighs, his fingers roughly running back and forth in between your pussy lips before taking his cock out of his boxers, rubbing his thick swollen tip against your entrance.

His hand travelled from your throat to hold your mouth shut, silencing you as he roughly pushed his fat cock inside of you, bottoming out in one thrust. You screamed out behind his hand, your pussy clenching around his thick shaft. He groaned in your ear mumbling a low “Shut your mouth.”

His hips pounding against your ass, sure to leave bruises. His heavy balls slapping your clit while his hands moved to grip your waist, holding you still while he fucks his cock deeper into your tight hole. “F-fuck Lloyd.. Oh god i can’t take it, i can’t take it, Your so big.” you moaned writhing on his dick.

“Fuckin’ whore actin’ like you don’t love this fat cock tearing your pussy apart.” he roared.

He pulled out spinning you around and forcing you onto your knees “m’ gonna cum in your mouth, want you t’ swallow my fuckin’ kids you fuckin’ whore.” he growled as he jerked his dick off over your face.

“Be a good girl and open wide.” he snarled while he grabbed the back of your head, tilting your face upwards ensuring you stared into his cold blues.

Your lips parted as he shoved his cock down your throat, you gagged and sputtered around his length as he groaned, his cum spurting in thick ropes down your throat.

The taste of his salty pleasure running down into your belly as you swallowed his load yet he kept his member warm in your throat, not wanting to pull out just yet. His cock grew flaccid in your mouth as he wiped your tears with his thumb.

You knew Lloyd wasn’t the right man for you, too aggressive, volatile, savage… but god did you wish he was. You knew you would need to find a way to leave him one day, this life wasn’t made for you. You’d be lying if you said it’d be easy. You knew it would only be a matter of time.

That man would cross hell, heaven and earth before he gave up on you.

#chxrrys concepts #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfic #chris evans smut #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen smut #the grey man #the grey man smut

[darkmasterlistyouneveraskedfor]

Unsolicited Masterlist

Summary: You run into a rude stranger at the mall, but this won’t be just another chance encounter. (Lloyd Hansen)

Status: Finished

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18

Part 19

Part 20

Part 21

Part 22

Part 23

Part 24

Part 25

Part 26

Part 27

Part 28

Part 29

Part 30

Part 31

Part 32

Part 33

Part 34

Part 35

Part 36

#unsolicited #lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #drabble #drabble series #lloyd hansen x reader #The Grey Man #the gray man

[deliciousangelfestival]

3 Billion Divorce - Lloyd Hansen Series (Completed)

Character: Lloyd HansenxFem!Richreader

Summary: Reader became a rich heiress after her grandfather chose her as his successor. This reason was enough to make her relatives want her gone. Our reader is a fighter; when she finds a chance, she offers a fake marriage proposal to a sociopath mercenary. 

Words Count: 1750

A/N: Finally, I'm back. Never thought that I could make a post with Lloyd. It's been a while since the last time I posted. Hope you like it. Feedback and Reblogged are appreciated. Thank you!!!

The Italic font shows a flashback scene.

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

buy me ko-fi

Sometimes, simple things like waking up from a good sleep and having a coffee in the morning sound easy. To you, it sounds impossible. 

Because of everyday… 

Dangers always come to you. You must pay this price when you accept your grandfather's will. 

Four years ago,

Your grandfather wrote your name on his will to become his successor and owner of all his assets. But you have to be 35 years old before you get everything.

After the lawyer revealed the will, your relatives wanted you dead, so the grandfather's money would go to charity, and they could use it. 

Since then, your quiet life has turned to hell. 

Your relatives have hired multiple killers and assassins to kill you or make it look like a suicide. It's been four years of living like this. 

And there's only one more year left, the chasing getting more intense that you can't bear it anymore. 

Like today, you’ve been hiding in the back seat inside your car because a black Cadillac has been chasing you all day.

“I had enough with everyone who wanted me to die. What a family huh? They were born as elites but they’re monsters.”

Your old bodyguard Jimmy, an ex-Navy hired to protect you who was busy shooting the other car, said, "Y/N. To beat a monster, you have to make yourself a monster."

His words got you thinking. You want revenge on your relatives, but you don't have the ability since they have already bribed the police and judges. You are already powerless; the only person who always stays beside you is your old bodyguard. 

Before you could even get any idea, another car appeared from nowhere and hit yours.

“Jimmy!” You screamed the name that protected you before you lost consciousness.  

When you woke up, you already being tied down on the chair.

You look at your surrounding where you got kidnapped. It’s different than usual. Usually, it’s a dark basement with a horrible smell. 

But right now, you’re inside a nice room with a marble floor and Roman pillar. There’s also Renaissance painting and sculpture.  It seems like you’re in a mansion or something like that. 

The door suddenly opens, making you nervous because you are mentally unprepared to meet someone who will kill you. 

A group of men who wear bulletproof come inside the room. Lastly, a man who wears a black turtleneck and light brown pants. But you can see everything he wears is from a luxury brand. 

He leaned down and smiled at you. 

"Hello Princess, my name is Lloyd Hansen. Welcome to my home”. His voice was low and deep. 

‘His mustache looks ridiculous.’ You thought. 

His hand grabbed a screen tablet to show you the money that had been transferred.

“Someone really wants you dead. Look at the money they gave me. This is the biggest payment that I have received." You could feel the joy when he explained while you have a life crisis.

You wonder how much your relatives pay to make you go. When you saw the number… 

Ooh, it made you fume with rage. 

40 Million Dollars?!

Your life is only worth 40 Million?! 

With all the money you will get from your grandfather, your life is worth more than 40 Million. 

‘You have to make yourself a monster.’ You remembered those sentences from Jimmy. 

That gave you an idea. 

This man Lloyd Hansen, you could use him to be the monster to finish all relatives that want you dead.

"Mr. Hansen, I  don't want to die."

He nodded. "Me too sweetheart. But I've already got the money. They really want you to be gone quickly. Such a shame."

"If I gave you a proposal to make you richer, would you listen to my offer?"

Lloyd tapped his watch. "You have 3 minutes, sunshine."

“First of all, are you single Mr.Hansen?”

Lloyd let out a big laugh. 

But you didn’t laugh; you studied his character. After spending time with your bodyguard Jimmy, he taught you how to read people. You figure this man Lloyd is a sociopath, and seeing him acting childish like this, you take a bet that he is still single. 

With this, you took a chance and gathered your confidence. “I assume you are, that made my plan easier.”

You took a moment before offering the proposal because he would end your life if he didn’t like it.

"3 Billion Dollars."

'WHAT!' His soldier gasped when they heard the number.

Your offer got the attention, "I will give you 3 billion, but I want you to do something for me."

Even Lloyd never expected that. He did a background check on you. 

You’ve been trying to stay alive for 4 years. That's when he knew you're an extraordinary woman.  

One of his soldiers steps in, "I volunteer Miss Y/N."

Before you could see who it was, Lloyd had already shot him.

He smiled. "I could swim in that money, what can I do for you?"

"Marry me."

Lloyd's brain circuit stopped for a second. He laughed again, but he stopped when he saw you being serious.

"I didn't expect I would get proposed like this."

"You know I'm a rich heiress, and I will get my money next year. While waiting, I need someone to protect me and keep me alive. After that we will get a divorce and you will get other 2 billions. Right now, I could give you 1 billion. What do you think?"

There was a moment of silence. You could only hear the clock ticking. After he hears your offer, Lloyd turns his back and looks at the big French window. You couldn't see his expression. 

Suddenly he turns around and walks towards you. Lloyd got on his knees and grabbed your hand. "You got yourself a husband, Mrs. Hansen."

'Yeah, you caught a monster.'

-One year later-

Lloyd arrived at your company and saw your bodyguard, Jimmy. Lloyd clicked his tongue. “Where’s my wife?” Jimmy pointed to the door behind him.

Lloyd pushed the door and saw you look busy signing some documents, not glancing at him. 

He told your secretary, who was already scared, "Get out shithead."

After your secretary left, he turned around and saw you had crossed your arms while looking at him. Ooh, so you’ve been waiting. 

He always loves your confidence. This trait must be one reason your grandfather chose you as the successor. 

Lloyd smashed a piece of paper on your table. "What the fuck is this?"

"It's a divorce paper."

"Yeah, and you didn't even think to discuss it with me first ?"

"It's been a year Lloyd, we made a deal. Remember?"

It made Lloyd silent. 

Of course, he remembered. 

Lloyd wishes he could stop the time.

After he agreed to marry you, his life became more exciting. 

Lloyd always dealt with different hitmen, politicians who wanted to steal your assets, assassins, and taking revenge on your relatives who wished you were dead. 

With the 1 billion, he could get all the resources and finish his job quickly and quietly. He got new clients every day. 

But most of all, Lloyd cherished the time spent with you. He loves every moment. You have a sharp mouth, don't take No for an answer; he likes it when you act like a boss to him. He wants to obey your order. 

And… 

The sex was also excellent. You weren't tempted at first. But who can't resist the charm of Lloyd Hansen? At first, it was just pretending to act like husband and wife. Give each other kisses on the cheeks, then move to the next step because of the alcohol effect that leads to sleeping together. 

When you fell asleep on his chest, his fingers brushed your hair. You gave him a soft kiss on his forehead; it made him like a teenager who was drunk in love. 

You were there every time he got hurt. You hired the best doctor to treat him. No one ever does that to him. He knew because you needed him to stay alive. But when he saw you holding his hand while he was bleeding, Lloyd knew you cared for him. 

He likes having you near him and can't bear letting you go. 

Lloyd realised his feelings when Jimmy came and gave him the brown envelope. 

Lloyd knew what was inside the paper, so he ignored it. But that damn envelope keeps coming after you get the inheritance and you have left the house that you two shared.  He felt like a used rag that you could just throw away. 

He can’t imagine seeing you being single, and another man will try to pursue you. 

"If you sign it today, the other 2 billion will be transferred to your account."

"I don't want to."

"6 billion then."

Lloyd's hand touches his left chest.

"What hurts me more is that you have the money and could finish this as soon as possible."

Then both of you will be strangers; NO, he didn't want that. 

"After you use my body, you throw me away? You hurt my feelings sunshine."

You walk away from your table to stand in front of him. 

"Lloyd, that's part of our deal. You protect me and I owe you one.” 

You couldn’t believe he’s the same man who wants to kill you, and now he’s begging you not to leave him.

“And I paid my debt with money that I promised."

He sighed and said, "I do love money."

Lloyd held your hand that still wore the wedding ring; he rubbed it gently. 

"But my dear wife, I love you more."

Your breath hitched when you heard his sudden confession. You were stunned to speak. 

Lloyd grabbed your chin and gave you a passionate kiss. "I won't let this marriage end with divorce." 

Lloyd kissed your forehead before he left you. Before he reached the door, he saw from the mirror your reflection. Your fingers touch your lips. At that moment, he knew you shared the same feelings. He will give you an offer that you can’t resist. 

A/N : This Series has Completed.

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

buy me ko-fi

#lloyd hansen x fem!reader #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x fic #lloyd hansen imagine #llyod hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen one shot #the grey man #chris evans characters #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #3billiondivorce

[steve-kemp]

THE GREY MAN (2022) dir. The Russo Brothers ↳ Chris Evans as Lloyd Hansen  

#the grey man #the grey man spoilers #marvelcastedit #chris evans #evansedit #weheartchrisevans #usermalin #usernowz #unearthlydust #* #chrisevansedit #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen edit

[greatperharps]

currently consuming Ryan Gosling content like it’s crack

#ryan gosling #blade runner 2049 #lars and the real girl #the nice guys #la la land #barbie #drive 2011 #the grey man #blue valentine #the place beyond the pines #crazy stupid love

[mossynebula]

Once more thinking about the fact that Mr Gray was redeemed but kavinsky wasn't

#Fuck that that is bullshit #the raven cycle #the dream thieves #trc #joseph kavinsky #kavinsky #ronan lynch #the grey man #the gray man #tdt

[squash1]

it’s always “he’s a hit man!” and “he literally kills people for money!” and never “he’s a poet & recites poetry in old english when asked” or “he re-learns how to make a daisy crown to give his girlfriend” or “his favorite weapon is opportunity.” give the grey man his roses, he Deserves them.

#i LOVE the grey man #grey man <3 all my love #the grey man #the dream thieves #trc #ronan lynch #adam parrish #the raven cycle #blue sargent #richard campbell gansey iii #pynch #adam and ronan #the raven boys #blue lily lily blue #henry cheng #gangsey #the gangsey #blusey #noah czerny #mine

[dbnightingale24]

A Huckleberry Is Nothing Without His Hummingbird

A Lloyd Hansen Love Story/ Final Installment to ‘It’s Ridiculous But, I’ll Always Love You’

~~

Part 2

Part 1

~~

I am so sorry this took so long! Life has been out of control for a while (both in good and bad ways), but it’s finally here! I truly hope you enjoy this, because I loved writing it! Thanks, as always, to @fuckingbye​ for the amazing moodboard! I love it and I love you! As promised, this is much happier than the last Lloyd story, and I hope you all enjoy it!

Word Count: 25,445 (look at me go!)

Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI OR I WILL SNITCH!), 18+ ONLY, Fluff, Arguing, Couples Therapy, Angst, Drinking, Smoking, Family Drama, Lloyd Hansen (cause he’s a walking warning), Violence, Murder, Degrading Kink, Rough(ish) Sex, Daddy Kink, Child Trauma, Toxic Relationship, Healthy Relationship...I think that’s it?

Song(s) Used For This Chapter: To Know Me All This Time and Still Love Me...Well, That’s A Miracle  

I do not give consent/permission for works/stories to be posted anywhere else. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~ 

“You two can’t keep going on like this,” your couples therapist sighs, as you and Lloyd both sit in silence, both of you with one leg crossed over the other. “You two have been coming here for two months, and it’s the same thing every time.”

You can hear the frustration in her tone, and it’s not like you can really blame her. You and Lloyd have been doing couple’s therapy for 2 months now, and you’re both so damn stubborn, that you both refuse to say anything. It’s not like you don’t want to say anything but, as far as you’re concerned, none of this is your fault.

“I’m not having this argument with you again, Hummingbird!” Lloyd snapped softly as you both stood in the bedroom of the hotel room: your arms folded across your chest.

“You’re acting like our family wasn’t put in danger hours ago! Do you know what this is going to do to Travis?!”

“He’s safe, you’re safe, and Denny is safe! What else do you want from me?!”

“To fucking quit!”

“I promised you that I’d stop-”

“We were still a target! Was this a joke you?” you asked, holding up your fingers that wore his hummingbird engagement ring.

“You know it wasn’t!”

“Then why can’t just pick us?! Your family!”

“I took a step back! That was me choosing you all! Just because you’re not getting everything that you want, doesn’t mean I’m not making an effort!”

“I can’t do this with you, Lloyd. Not again,” you scoffed as you ran your hands through your hair.

“You’re not fucking leave me again, Y/N!”

“You can’t-”

“I can! You think I’m letting you leave me again?! You think you can walk out of my life just as soon as I got you back in it?!”

“You never let me go, Lloyd” you scoffed, your voice rose just a bit more than you meant for it to. “You have been everything to me for forever and-”

“You’ve been everything to me-”

“I clearly haven’t! You still can’t just choose us as your top-”

“You still need to give me some space to be me, Hummingbird!” he yelled.

“This is the same shit it always is,” you scoffed as you kicked your shoes off. “God, why do you I love you? Why do I keep putting up with this shit?! I was finally fucking out-”

“Watch it, Y/N.” Lloyd warned with a growl and you rolled your eyes.

“Or what? Just what will you do?! Actually let me get shot next time?!”

Almost instantly, he had you pinned against the wall, with his hand around your throat.

“Don’t ever say something like that to me again! You fucking understand me?!”

“Why?! What’s so wrong with it?! Staying with you makes me just as good as dead anyway!”

“You don’t think I’m doing everything in my power to keep you and Travis safe?! You don’t think-” “No Lloyd! No I don’t! I don’t believe you! Not anymore! You say you love me, you want us to work through our issues, but it’s all bullshit! Make me believe you, because right now?! Right now, it’s all just bullshit to me!”

Lloyd didn’t say a word, he just crashed his lips into yours and, just like that, you were gone for him.

No, it wasn’t healthy and you both knew you were falling back into your old habits, which is why you brought up therapy. At first, Lloyd was dead set on not going.

“We don’t fucking need couples therapy,” he muttered as you started cleaning off the dinner table.

“Well, we fucking need something, because this isn’t working for me. This isn’t college, Lloyd. We can’t just fuck our feelings away and avoid the problems that are staring us in the fucking face.”

“We can work out our problems on our own!”

“Keep your fucking voice down! Travis isn’t asleep!” you snapped quietly, trying to keep your own emotions in check.

“Hummingbird-”

“I want us to go to therapy, Lloyd. You’re hellbent on keeping your stupid fucking job? Well, I’m hellbent on doing therapy,” you shrugged, leaning against the sink.

“Humming-”

“Lloyd, we do therapy or I walk. It’s that simple.”

“Don’t fucking bully-”

“I’m not bullying you into shit. You want us to work out? You wanna keep working? Then I want therapy.”

“You can’t-”

“Therapy or I fucking walk, Lloyd. I’m not going through this shit with you.”

At first, he was furious and didn’t speak to you for a week, but once he realized you weren’t backing down, he finally agreed. Denny suggested a therapist that works with the agency and that settled it.

Which is why you’re both currently sitting in the therapist’s office, stubborn and unwilling to break first.

Well, you were until now.

“Lloyd’s a selfish piece of shit, and I’m tired of it,” you shrug as Lloyd scoffs.

“I’m selfish?! You’re the one forcing me to do this shit or you’ll leave-”

“And why is that, Lloyd? Hmm? What fucking got us to this point?”

“Don’t.”

“You’re fucking job! Your son almost got killed and it’s still not enough for you to get your fucking shit together!”

“Okay, okay, lets back up for a second,” the therapist interrupts, happy to finally be getting somewhere with the two of you. “When you two talk about Lloyd going into another line of work, how do those conversations usually go?”

“He says no and that’s the end of the discussion,” you mutter.

“Bullshit! We argue, you tell me I’m an asshole, and-”

“And you keep your fucking job! I’m dramatic and whiny little bitch-”

“You’re acting like-”

“Lloyd, Travis almost died! Someone shot at us at fucking Disney! For fucks sake, you won’t even let me home school him!”

“He can’t just run away from his-”

“He’s not running away from shit, Lloyd! He’s fucking scared, he’s lonely, his friends don’t invite him over anymore, because parents aren’t too keen on their children hanging out with other kids that tend to get shot at-”

“He needs to be a man-”

“Lloyd, he is a 9 year old boy! He’s not you! He has every right to be afraid, because he’s been through hell! No one invites him to anything anymore! At least you have Denny! Travis only has us, and that’s a lonely fucking life!” you snap, wiping your eyes as you look out the window.

Lloyd’s silence lets you know that you’ve got him, and while you feel bad about hurting him, you need him to understand where you’re coming from. You need him to understand that all of this is taking a toll on both you and Travis.

“Lloyd, have you looked at all into a career where you’re not putting yourself at so much risk? Your family?”

“No, because there’s no point,” he sighs, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Lloyd, I’m sure Denny-”

“Denny knows there’s only one job I’m suited for, and that’s why he assigned it to me in the first place. Listen, it’s not lost on anyone in this room that I’m difficult at best, but I do love both Y/N and Travis more than anything in this world. I will keep you both safe-”

“And what about when you’re not home, Lloyd? What then? Because the last time...” you trail off as your tears start to flow freely.

For fucks sake.

“Hummingbird...that wasn’t your fault-”

“I had him that weekend, Lloyd. He was my responsibility, and...we almost lost him, Lloyd. I can’t...the stress of your job always falls back on the both of us, and I could handle it before. Even after the divorce, I had no problem with making excuses, stressing myself, losing sleep...it was all doable, because Travis was safe. Now? Lloyd, it’s just too much. I’m always worried about you, but now...your enemies have no reservations about going after your family. I know how much you love your work, how proud you are, and how good you are at it, but this isn’t going to work if you keep taking and giving nothing back. That’s what killed us before and it’s what will kill us this time, if your enemies don’t first.”

“You know that I can-”

“But Lloyd, you can’t. You can’t keep us safe, that’s already been proven! I don’t blame you for Travis, I honestly don’t. However, with that being said, you’re not home all the time, and it’s only worse with your job. Whether it’s you being away, or you making more enemies...there’s just no way it works unless we get a-”

“Do not finish that statement.”

“Well, what do you expect, Lloyd?! At some point, you need to come to terms with the fact that you can’t do the job you’ve been doing, and be a family man! You have to make a choice and I don’t want that choice being something that makes you regret Travis and myself!”

“That would never happen,” he sighs, leaning back and staring at his hands. “Why can’t you just trust me? I know I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve never-”

“Lloyd, this has nothing to do with lack of trust. I trust you more than anyone else in the world, which is probably a horrible decision, but it’s a fact. However, another fact is that you just can’t be two places at once. You can’t protect us when you’re not home.”

“You know-”

“Don’t you dare,” you warn with a sniffle. “I never signed up for this. It was a roll that I was forced to take! I have had miscarriages, my weight has been up and down for years, I have severe panic attacks that usually end up waking me up in the middle of the night, my hair falls out from stress...Lloyd, I love you, but I shouldn’t have to take on a roll I never asked for!”

“You could’ve left!”

“I did! I left and what did you do?! Find new ways to hurt me, ruin any potential for other relationships, beg me to take you back-”

“Hummingbird, I’m trying!”

“I never said you weren’t!” you sob, wiping your eyes again.

The therapist looks from you to Lloyd, writes something down, and then sets her notepad down.

What the hell does that mean?

“Lloyd, why can’t you just walk away from the job?” she asks after a moment. “What is it that makes it so hard to leave?”

“Because he doesn’t care about anything except what he wants,” you mutter with a sniffle.

“That’s not fair,” she quickly tells you, and while you know she’s right, it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes, “give him a chance to explain himself.”

“She knows that’s bullshit,” he mutters before taking a deep breath. “I’m good at a lot of things, it’s just something that comes to me. On the rare occasion that I’m not good at something, I work my ass off until I am. That being said, besides being Y/N’s husband and Travis’ dad, my job is what I’m the best at. Hell, it’s not like I can even say that I was the best husband, because Y/N was going through hell and I didn’t even notice. I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that, but I can do my best to protect and keep them safe. No, it’s not the most ideal job and she’s always taken issue with it, but it’s one of the few times I feel normal. Everyone knows I have a reputation for being a sociopath, even you,” he nods towards the therapist, who shrugs with a head nod in response, “but this job? It was made for me. I’m in charge, I know what to do, I know how to keep my men in check, and it helps me keep my rage at bay. Without this job, I don’t know how to be a decent husband, let alone a decent Dad. The only reason I was never kicked off the football team was because of how good I was. My coach got so many complaints about how violent I was...it’s not like Y/N didn’t know any of this. She may deny it, but I’m more than sure it’s part of why she hung around. It was fun. I was fun and I’m not stupid, I know that as you get older, the fun starts to die away and you want stability, but she never left. Even with me accepting a job with the CIA, she still accepted my proposal and married me.

I know we have Travis now, and he’s our entire universe, but I’m still the man she fell in love with in college. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but I’ve never lied about any of it. If she could accept it then, at the beginning of our relationship, our marriage, and even when she had Travis, why not now? I know we’ve been through a lot, and I know it’s because of my job, but it’s nothing new. Yeah, it’s a lot to ask, but I’ll do anything either of them asks if I can just have this one thing,” he promises, his voice cracking slightly.

You know it’s because he’s finally coming to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to have the best of both worlds, and his heart is breaking just as much as yours is.

“We’ve reached the end of our time, but I think it’s very obvious to all of us that we’ve made progress today. I wanna give you two an assignment.”

“Fucking great,” Lloyd mutters.

“Stop it!” you snap.

“Try and go away for the weekend. Just you and Lloyd. Go away for a few days and talk. Really talk and maybe make a pro and con list about your relationship. It sounds silly, but it’ll help you both figure out if this relationship is something you should pursue or not.”

“We both want-”

“I didn’t say anything about ‘wanting’ the relationship, Lloyd. It’s obvious to anyone who looks at the two of you, that you two are deeply in love, but that doesn’t mean you two belong together. You two need to spend time alone and figure out if getting remarried is in both of your best interests. If it’s in Travis’ best interest,” she urges sincerely. “Now, our next appointment won’t be for another two weeks-”

“Two weeks?!”

“It’s not my fault that it took you two, two months to finally open up,” she snaps at him and you do nothing to hide your snicker. “We’ll meet again in two weeks, and we’ll go from there.”

“This is bullshit.”

“You really need to work on your ‘it’s all about me’ attitude, Lloyd,” she scowls. “I’ll see you two in two weeks.”

“Sounds good,” you smile at her as you and Lloyd both get up.

As you two make your way out of the building, Lloyd takes your hand in his and it just makes your heart break even more, because you know he’s trying. Hes always been trying, but you’re both coming to the painful realization that this just might be the end of the road for the both of you.

The car ride home is quiet, but Lloyd doesn’t let go of your hand for even a second. Every now and again, he gives a meaningful squeeze, but you both know it’s gonna take more than that to fix where you two are at.

“I can order dinner,” he offers as he pulls up to the house, that you occasionally call a home. “You’ve been making lunches and dinner ever day, it’s the least-”

“Travis prefers home cooked meals. After everything, it’s the least I can do to-”

“I know you’re tired, Hummingbird. You work hard and you-”

“I’m not really working hard, am I? I don’t have a job anymore-”

“It’s a suspension-”

“They fired me, Lloyd. They’re just being nice about it, because what happened on that call wasn’t actually my fault. However, the client was spooked and no one wants to work with someone who’s a risk of others getting injured or killed, so...”

“Hummingbird, I’m trying.”

“We both are, Lloyd. Just because we’re both trying and love each other, doesn’t mean-”

“But why can’t it?!”

“Because you can’t be the king of everything all the time!” you yell, your tears coming freely as you throw your hands up. “You need to control everything and I need some stability. Things aren’t going to just sort themselves out because we want them to! You think I want to break up again? You don’t think I wish that we could just magically figure this all out? I’m so madly in love with you, but I don’t love the life we live! Travis is in trouble every other day, he’s scared, the only time when we aren’t arguing is when we’re fucking...this isn’t working, but I don’t have the strength to walk away! Not again, because the problem wasn’t that we stopped being in love, the problem was your job and you inability to see past your own wants! I don’t know what to do anymore, Lloyd! Being without you is hell, but so is being with you and I just...I don’t know what to do anymore,” you sigh, wiping your eyes and taking a deep breath. “Now, lets get inside and take care of our nine year old son, whose grounded...again.”

“Wait, what? Why?” Lloyd asks, clearing his throat and rubbing his eyes.

“He got into another fight at school.”

“Jesus Christ!” Lloyd yells, getting out of the car and slamming it shut.

“Lloyd, stop it!” you yell, quickly getting out and running after him.

“No, he needs to stop with this shit! He can’t keep getting into fights! With how much money we fucking pay?!”

“Look who’s talking! Lloyd, I will handle this! Don’t go in there and-”

“TRAVIS!” he yells as soon as he steps foot in the house.

Great.

“What?” Travis scowls from the dining room table, not even bothering to look up from his book.

“Don’t you ‘what’ me! What the hell is wrong with you?! Another fight?! We just had this talk two weeks ago! Are you trying to get kicked out?!”

“I’m sure you can donate more money and fix it, just like you always do.”

“Your attitude is starting to become a real pain the ass!”

“Both of you stop it!” you yell, trying to stop the argument before it escalates any further.

“Don’t you have another job to leave for? You always have someplace to be that isn’t here with us, so why aren’t you there now?” Travis scowls, still not bothering to look up.

“THAT IS ENOUGH! THE BOTH YOU, IN THE LIVING AREA, NOW!” you yell, officially at your wits end.

Neither of them says a word, they both just roll their eyes and make their way over to the area.

God help you.

“Listen, I know this family has been through a lot, but the way the both of you speak to one another is not okay! Travis, you know good and damn well that you’re never allowed to speak to your Father like that! Lloyd! What the hell is wrong with you?! You don’t get to speak to him like that when you’re barely ever even home and you don’t know the full story! Travis didn’t even start the fight, he just finished it! He’s been getting bullied, a lot-”

“What?! Why didn’t-”

“Lloyd, you’ve been busy and haven’t had much time to talk-”

“I would’ve made time!”

“You never have before!” Travis interjects angrily.

“Travis, enough! Upstairs!”

“But Mom-”

“Go! I’ll deal with your Father, you need to go upstairs and cool off!”

Travis sucks his teeth as he gets up and makes his way up the stairs, stomping loudly, and it takes all you have in you not to yell at him.

“Something needs to be done about his fucking attitude,” Lloyd scowls and you roll your eyes as you make your way into the kitchen. “What?!”

“You were out of line, Lloyd. If I were Travis, I’d have the same fucking response.”

You grab the largest wine glass you can find and fill it, as you take your hair out of a ponytail, trying to figure out when exactly the house became a war zone.

Lloyd lets out a heavy sigh before grabbing a bottle of bourbon and a glass to go with it, before leaning against the counter top, “what happened?”

“Travis had a panic attack during his Math class. He gets skiddish when he hears loud noises, any type of a loud boom...he’s scared. The other kids know what happened, of course, so they pick on him because kids are devils. Anyway, there’s one kid in particular that keeps picking on him and he’s the one who triggered his panic attack.”

“So, some little shit triggers his panic attack and Travis gets suspended?!”

“Yeah well, Travis broke the kid’s nose and gave him a black eye.”

“Sounds like he let the kid off with a warning.”

“Lloyd.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“When? You’re never here, and when you are, you’re in a shitty mood. Every time I brought it up we ended up arguing. Big shock there.”

“That’s why you want to home school him,” he sighs rowing a hand through his hair.

“Lloyd, you’re never around. Even with you taking on desk work, you’re still gone. I can’t keep seeing him heartbroken like this. He’s gonna end up like us, for fucks sake.”

“It wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

“Lloyd, he’s not like you and me. Yes, he’s always had issues with his temper, but never like this. He’s angry all the time, and if he’s not angry, he’s upset. And if he’s not upset, he’s a recluse. That’s not our son and you know that. This isn’t his personality at all.”

“I want to fix this-”

“Then be here, Lloyd. It’s that fucking simple.”

“I don’t wanna argue, Hummingbird, alright? I’m imagining that there’s a meeting we need to go to?”

“Tomorrow at 1. I’ll let you know-”

“I’m going with you.”

“That’s definitely not a good idea,” you scoff before taking a giant sip of your wine. “I’ll handle it-”

“I’m his Father, Hummingbird. I should be there and you don’t have to keep doing all of this by yourself. You want me to be there, so I’m gonna try my hardest, okay? I know you don’t think so, but you and Travis are the center of my universe and I know...I know things have to change,” he mumbles, turning and caging you between his arms. “I’m trying, Hummingbird. We both want this-”

“Lloyd, we are both too old and I am too tired-”

“I can get this right, Hummingbird. I need to get this right,” he promises softly as he rests his forehead against yours. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Lloyd.”

“Sleep in our bed tonight,” he begs softly as his hand travels under your shirt.

“Lloyd, don’t.”

“It’s been weeks and I miss you. You know I’m sorry and how much I love you.”

“We can’t just fuck-”

“We’re not. I’m not just trying to fix what’s wrong with us with sex. I fucking miss you. I miss hearing you come alive for me, getting lost deep inside of you, “ he presses as he squeezes your hips.

“Lloyd!” you gasp, trying to keep your voice down.

Having intimate moments in random parts of the house is a lot harder when your child can make his way down the steps with ease.

“Tell me you’ll sleep in my bed tonight,” he continues to beg as he starts to kiss and suck on your neck, “our bed.”

“Huckleberry!”

“Tell me you’ll-”

“MOM!” Travis calls from the top of the steps as Lloyd backs away a little and throws his head back in frustration, “I need your help with this essay!”

“I’ll go,” Lloyd breathes as he rests his head against yours.

“No, he called for me-”

“He and I need to have a talk anyway. You stay here, think, get started on dinner...whatever you wanna do. I’ll go.”

He presses a soft kiss to your temple, before quickly turning and leaving, which leaves you all alone with your thoughts. You’re quick to rifle through your purse, pulling out your pack of cigarettes and a lighter, before grabbing your glass and making your way outside onto the back patio.

Taking a seat at the head of the outside dinner area, you light a cigarette and think about your relationship with Lloyd.

Both the good and the bad parts.

However, you feel the same thing you always feel when you think about the two of you (which has been a lot lately), and you come to the same conclusion every time. You can’t bring yourself to hate or regret any of it, and you can’t convince yourself that it’s truly time to call it quits. Yes, Lloyd can be a monster and hot headed but, in the spots reserved for only you and Travis (and you guess Denny), he’s the most amazing man you’ve ever met.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t turn it off, and you’ve been trying for years.

“I can tell that you’re upset with me, Hummingbird,” Lloyd chuckled as he laid down next to you on your bed.

“All the guy said was hi-”

“I didn’t like how he said it. You’re my girl and he should’ve known to keep his distance.”

“I’m not your anything. We fucked once and have been on a few dates. That doesn’t make us official.”

“You hate that you like me so much don’t you?”

“And what makes you think that I like you so fucking much?”

“Well, for starters,” he smirked as he sat up, “you’re getting worked up and that’s not like you unless you’re caught in a lie. Two, I sent those flowers to you two weeks ago, and they still look brand new. You wouldn’t care about them if they didn’t mean so much to you.”

“And how do you know so much about me?”

“Because I’ve been watching you.”

“Lloyd-”

“And you fucking like it, so don’t give me any shit. You’re not as oblivious as you like to seem. You know just as much about me as I do you. I’m territorial-”

“I’m not your fucking property, Lloyd.”

“No, you’re not property, but you are my girl.”

“And what makes you think that?”

“I know you’ve been watching the time, so I know you know it’s 1am.”

“So what?”

“So, you haven’t kicked me out, and you don’t want to kick me out, or you would have already. In fact, you haven’t even hinted at wanting me to leave.”

“Maybe I just like looking at you, Hansen,” you shrugged as you finally turned all of your attention towards him.

“Or maybe,” he smirked as he hoisted you up just a bit before forcing your legs around his waist, “you love the way I fuck you, just as much as I love fucking you.”

“I don’t love anything about you,” you moaned as ground your hips against his, clawing against his arms as you wordlessly begged for more.

“You love how I make you feel and that’s all I need for now. Until you’re ready to tell me, Hummingbird,” he mused as he ripped off your panties,

“Lloyd-”

“You tell me to stop and I will. I’m not going to take anything you’re not willing to give,” he smirked as he started stroking your clit with his thumb.

“You still hook up with other girls so I don’t know-”

“You say the word and I’ll stop. You just have to tell me how much you like me,” he teased, rubbing your clit a little faster.

You knew he had you, because no matter how hard you fought it, you really did like him. Yes, there were a million things wrong with him, but the way he treated you...

The flowers, the attention he paid to things that made you laugh and smile, the way he’d stay late with you at the library when you insisted on going over all your notes one more time even when he had an early practice or game the next day, how he’d stay on the phone with you even when you were asleep....yes, there were a lot of flaws with Lloyd Hansen, but they all seemed to melt away for you. He was notorious for treating women like trash, you’d seen him lose him temper on the field, you’d heard about the fights he’d gotten in over the smallest things. Hell, he’d just punched a guy in the face a few hours ago because he didn’t like how close a guy was standing next to you at a fucking frat party.

Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop being so fucking smitten with him.

“Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it,” he promised as he dipped down and kissed your hip bone.

You weren’t ready to tell him that you wanted him to be yours and yours only, so you instead you said, “make me feel better.”

You saw the flash of pain in his eyes, but he masked it well and started to kiss up your body. The kisses weren’t anything like the ones he gave you the first time you two hooked up. Granted, it had been over a month since you two fucked at the frat party held in his frat house, but you still remembered every touch and kiss like it was yesterday.

“Lloyd,” you moaned as he started to lick and suck on your hipbone.

“Tell me what you want, baby. I’ll do it,” he promised before dragging his tongue up your torso. “I’d do anything to make you happy.”

“I just wanna feel you,” you whimpered, losing all resolve as you felt yourself come to life for him.

“Always in my fucking crew neck,” he growled as he sat up, taking his hoodie and throwing it to the side, “it drives me fucking insane.”

“Take it back,” you moaned, pulling it over your head, taking his lead and throwing it on the floor.

“Fuck, no bra, baby? What took you so long?”

“I just wanna feel you right now,” you begged, pulling him close and kissing him passionately.

“I’m all yours,” he husked as forced his sweatpants down, “I belong to you and you only,” he promised as he pushed himself inside of you.

“Fuck!”

“You want me to make you feel better, Hummingbird? I’ll make you feel the best you’ve ever felt,” he promised before he captured in a soul stealing kiss.

In no time at all, you were moving your hips with his, gripping his hair tight as you pulled him close with your arms.

“Tell me how much you’ve been thinking about me,” he begged as he picked up his pace, beads of sweat dripping from his forehead to yours.

“Every day and every night,” you confessed, your walls tightening around him as you tried to fight off your release.

“Best pussy I’ve ever been in, did you know that, Hummingbird? Did you know that no other pussy milks my cock like yours? No one makes me feel like you do,” he groaned before he licked the side of your cheek with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh fuck!”

“I’d do anything to make you happy, Hummingbird. Anything to keep a smile on that gorgeous face of yours!”

“Lloyd...please!”

“Gonna fuckin’ make you mine, baby! Gonna make you happier than you’ve ever been and I’m gonna keep it that way!”

“Shit!” you cried out, toes curled and back arched at the words the words he said.

The promises he was making.

“I want you to cream on my cock, Hummingbird. I’ve been thinking about it since the last time I had you in my bed, and I need it so fucking bad,” he growled as he picked up his pace, “I fucking need you!”

“Need it! N-n-need you!”

“Fuck! C’mon, give it to me! I’ll keep you up all night, I promise!”

You couldn’t have held on if you tried. His name left your mouth like a desperate plea as you squirted hard on his cock, gripping his hair harder than you meant to.

“You’re a fucking dream,” he groaned as he filled you up.

Why couldn’t you stop your mind, body, and heart from desiring him in the worst ways?

“Don’t think about anything else right now, Hummingbird,” he cooed as he rode out your highs, “just be here with me, baby.”

You had no choice but to obey.

He was a good as his word and kept you up, being so insanely sweet and gentle with you, like he needed you to believe that this wasn’t just about the chase with you. He needed you to feel that it was more than just mind numbing fucking. You let him stay and hold you close that night, and it was the best you’d slept since the first time you two hooked up.

You like to lie to yourself and say that you don’t know why that memory holds so much weight with you, but you know it’s bullshit. Everything he said that night...everything he did...Lloyd let you know in his own way that his feelings were real, and you let yourself quietly accept that yours were real too.

You let yourself finally accept how much you truly cared about him.

Cared for him.

However, for as much as they memory warms your heart and makes you smile, the one that follows leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you’re ready to punch Lloyd in the dick.

“The fuck are you so mad about, Hummingbird?!” Lloyd yelled/slurred as he followed you around his frat house, drink in hand, as you stumbled around to get away from him.

“Fuck off, Hansen!”

“The fuck did I do?!”

“Besides go upstairs with half the women at this party? Nothing!”

“So you do like me,” he smirked as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to a stop.

“I fucking hate you!” you yelled, slapping him so hard he dropped his drink.

“Fucking bitch!”

“FUCK YOU!”

You two weren’t even a couple, but you were already arguing as if you two had been married for 50 years.

“Why the fuck shouldn’t I have any fun?! Huh?! You keep saying that this is nothing, so why shouldn’t have all the fun I want?!” he roared as he followed you into the kitchen.

“Ya know what, Lloyd? Fuck whoever you want! Fuck until your dick falls off! I don’t give a single fucking shit!” you yelled as you made yourself a drink.

“You clearly do if you’re yelling at me in my own goddamned frat house!”

“Oh? It’s your frat house? Did your daddy buy it for you, you spoiled fucking prince?!”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! I can’t fucking make heads or tails of you! You say you don’t want this, but you get fucking pissed-”

“Why should I give you a fucking chance, Lloyd?! You say and do all of these things, and when you don’t get immediate results, you go and fuck around! So, what exactly is my incentive to date you? Give you a chance?!”

“Fucking come off it, Y/N,” he scoffed, “don’t blame me for the fact that you’re scared! You put up walls and make things complicated-”

“Then work for it! Fucking work for it you giant fucking child! I didn’t go after you, you came after me! You want me? The fucking earn me!”

“Why should I have to earn what you so willingly gave me in this very kitchen,” he chuckled with a smug grin.

The slap you gave him after that comment was probably the hardest one you’d ever given him.

“I fucking hate you. Know that I mean that with every fiber of my being. I hate you and I don’t ever want to see you again,” you sobbed before grabbing your drink and stormed out, Tina at your heels.

Of course, Lloyd refused to leave you alone. Whether it was having the men’s quartet at your classes and singing you love songs, having dozens of flowers sent to your dorm daily, or leaving romantic love letters left at your dorm every day, Lloyd didn’t let up. He kept at everything for months until you finally agreed to go back out with him.

You’re not sure if it was sheer irritation that got you to say yes, or the fact that you just missed him, but whatever it was you took him back. For better or worse, you took him back and decided he was worth all of the hell he put you through and that it was tolerable.

That being said, that was the outlook for the rest of your relationship.

Lloyd doing whatever he needed to, to invoke some sort of emotion out of you, so that you’d just admit that he’s all you ever wanted. Yes, it was toxic and you should’ve walked away in that moment, but the man made it impossible. You’d met your match in every way possible. Knowing that should’ve been enough for you to walk away, but it wasn’t and you hate that you can’t blame that on Lloyd. Yes, there were multiple options for you to just walk away, no matter how consistent Lloyd was, but you still made the decision to stay.

Even now, you can’t blame Lloyd for all the hell you go through. You always have an out, and if Lloyd truly believed you wanted to leave, he would let you. Yes, there would be the pain of him seeing you whenever you picked up (or he dropped off) Travis, but Lloyd has always been respectable enough to give you space and/or peace. As much you’d love to put your stress and anger on him, you know you can’t. You made your own personal hell and now you have to make a choice:

Do you keep trying to create a future that will no doubt be stressful but loving and worth it in the end, or do you keep following down the a path that just leads you to stress and frustration? Only time will tell and only you will be able to decide if it’s all worth it.

But fuck it all if you don’t don’t want Lloyd to be your endgame, even if it’s not what’s best for you.

Lloyd’s P.O.V

“Trav, you and I need to have a talk,” I sigh as I take seat his computer desk.

He’s nine years old, why the hell does he have such an intense computer setup?

“Aren’t you supposed to knock before you come in? Mom knocks,” he mutters, not even bothering to look up from his book.

“She’s the nicer one.”

“Didn’t she punch my gym teacher in the face just for making a remark about my attitude when it comes to leading team sports?”

“I said she’s nicer one, not the more sane one, and put the damn book down. I’m talking to you.”

“What?”

“Watch your fucking mouth. What’s going on at school, and why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“In order for me to tell you about anything, you’d have to be here for that,” he snaps.

Ah yes, that’s why he has an insane computer setup. Guilt.

“I’m here now.”

“Good job.”

“Travis, I swear to God-”

“You’re never home, Dad! Before, you were always away on missions. Now, you don’t do missions but you’re always at work, and when you are home, you get pissed off about every little thing. If you don’t give a damn, why should I say anything?”

“That’s not true and you know it. I’m just adjusting. I know I’m not good at it, but I’m working on it.”

“Are you capable of apologizing to anyone besides Mom?

“I apologize to you when you deserve one.”

“Now seems like a pretty good time.”

“Jesus, you’re so much like your Mother sometimes. I swear that sometimes I think you two work together to drive me insane.”

“Well, I’m the one who got sent to my room, so it can’t be all that bad.”

“You owe your Mother an apology.”

“Yeah, I know,” he sighs.

“Sit up and tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Yeah, I don’t care. Get up and talk to me. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting bullied?”

“Didn’t we just discuss that?”

I swear he’s just like Y/N.

“Travis.”

“Some of the kids at school think it’s funny that I’m scared to go to gym class, or that I jump when a book drops, or that I have panic attacks.”

“Why the hell are youi afraid of gym class?”

“A ball bouncing off the wall? A basketball bouncing-”

“Okay okay,” I sigh, sitting back. “You can’t let the bullies win. That’s not how your Mom and I are rasinging you.”

“I fought back and got suspended and, I’m sorry, isn’t that the Hansen way?”

“Are we sure you’re only 9?”

“I learn from the best.”

“That you do. Do you want to be home schooled?”

“Not forever,” he mumbles and I roll my eyes. “What now?”

“Speak up, I’m not raising you to be shy!”

“Why isn’t Mom having this talk with me?”

“Because she’s making dinner and I’m your Father.”

“You should’ve ordered something,” he goes on, completely ignoring the part about me being his Father.

Great, my kid hates me too.

“I offered to and she said that you prefer home cooked meals.”

“It doesn’t matter, she’s stressed out. You just have to do it.”

“How do you know this?”

“When she gets really upset over the things you do, I make dinner or talk her into ordering food,” he shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

“I’m trying to do better-”

“Don’t try, Dad. Just do it. Mom is here all the time and she deals with all of it, and then has to deal with your mood swings on top of it? It’s not fair.”

“Yeah, I know,” I mutter as I get up.

“Now who isn’t speaking up?”

“Watch it,” I warn in the voice that lets him know he’s got no more buttons left to push, “and watch the swearing around your Mom. You know how much she hates it.”

“But why?”

“You’ve spent time with your grandparents, that’s not how she was raised. You’re too young to swear.”

“That’s not what you think.”

“You’re gonna swear anyway, so who gives a damn when you start? However, your Mom doesn’t like it, so cut it out.”

“I preferred when you two lived apart.”

“Well, get used to how things are now, because it’s how they’re staying.”

“Not if you keeo going on like this,” he mutters, picking up his book.

“Stop being a little shit and get ready for dinner. I’m taking everyone out.”

“Where?”

“Wherever your Mom wants. Get up and get dressed.”

Yeah, I owe him an apology, but he’s not getting one while he’s being a little shit.

It also doesn’t help that he’s right.

Trying to think of the romantic way to tell you that I’m taking you both out, I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen to see you sitting outside at the patio dinner table, smoking a cigarette and drinking wine.

How did I fuck this up again? We were doing good and then, as usual, I got in the way. I’m the one starting the arguments, I’m burying myself in an attempt to keep the bit of sanity that I have, I’m not there for Travis like I used to be...

I keep fucking it up.

You’re right: this isn’t college and we can’t go on raising Travis like this. I have to start giving and stop taking. I’m not afraid of much, but I am terrified of losing you again, and I can tell that you’re on your last leg. I’m unforgiving and an entitled asshole, and you knew that when you fell in love with me, but the charm was that I never treated you like everyone else.

Well, never to this extent.

Now, I keep taking too much and don’t even think of giving anything back, and I can’t be mad that you’re ready to call off the wedding. Hell, I haven’t even seen you look at a bridal magazine in months.

If this is gonna get better at all, it’s gonna have to start with me.

Y/N’s P.OV.

“What the fuck is going on with you and Hansen?” Tina asked as you both left the library.

“Clearly nothing,” you mumbled, annoyed with yourself for how worked up you got over him at the frat party last week.

You don’t know why you let his words get to you, because Lloyd Hansen only looks out for Lloyd Hansen. It’s all just a game to him and you knew you needed to stop believing you were any different.

“Well, if it were nothing, why the hell did you slap him so hard?”

“As if anyone needs a good reason to slap Lloyd in thr face.”

“I’m not saying it’s not long overdue, but it’s not like you at all. Plus, ever since, you’ve been getting flowers, poems sent to you, teachers seem to be more lax with you-”

“What’s done is done and Lloyd can go fuck himself. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I’m done thinking it,” you huffed as held back your tears.

You weren’t about to cry over him again, and especially not infront of Tina. No one knows how much Lloyd means to you, and if you keep it that way, you can pretend he never meant much to you either.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

“Babe, what’s going on? What happened between you two?”

“You and everyone else saw what happened: he went down on me in the kitchen, he took me up to his room and fucked me until I was too tired to walk, we went on a few dates, we fucked again, and then decided to take multiple women up to his room at the frat party he invited me to, and that’s that. I don’t know, I just think it’s pretty shit to tell a person you’re no longer interested that way.”

“I mean...it’s Lloyd. It’s not like he has a decent bone in his body,” she scoffed as you two walked down your dormitry hall. “What did he tell you that made you believe-”

“Tina, can we please stop talking about...I left my door closed,” you said cautiously as your footsteps started to come slower.

“Does anyone besides either of us have a key?”

“Nope,” you sighed, cautiously pushing the door open, only to be met with complete and utter shock. “What the...”

Your dorm room was filled with pink and white peonies, your absolute favorites, and already knew who was behind it.

Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? To make it worse, you could feel your heart swelling in your chesr with so much happiness, and your brain couldn’t understand why. Lloyd went out his way just to hurt you, because you wanted to be smart and take your time, so why do all of his actions mean so much?

“Of course you’re here with Tina,” Lloyd mumbled, visibly upset as he rolled his eyes, getting off of your bed.

“Lloyd-”

“Tina, get out,” he snapped at her.

“Excuse me?!”

“This talk doesn’t concern you-”

“It concerns my best friend!”

“Who isn’t you. Get out.”

“Lloyd-”

“Tina, there’s no point in going back and forth, because he’s not going to leave,” you scowled, dropping your bag before picking up one of the flowers.

Yeah, you were pissed, but the flowers were gorgeous.

“Are you sure, Y/N?”

“Yeah babe, I’ll call you later,” you smiled, wondering why the hell you weren’t telling her to stay.

You knew how things would go the second she closed the door.

“Fuck you, Hansen,” she spat before leaving and slamming the door behind her.

“How can you stand to be friends with her? She’s such a bitch.”

“Now, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”

“Hummingbird-”

“What the hell do you want, Lloyd?”

“Don’t kick me out before you’ve even heard me out.”

“I don’t feel like hearing anything you have to say. You made your point perfectly clear-”

“No, I didn’t and I’m-”

“Lloyd, just go back-”

“Can you shut up and let me fucking apologize?! Jesus!” he snapped and you jumped at his tone, as well as the fact that he’d just apologized.

Lloyd Hansen never apologized to anyone for anything.

“Listen...you’re right, okay? I don’t give you any reason to believe me, so I shouldn’t be all that surprised that you don’t wanna date me. What I did last week...it was fucked up and I did it out of anger-”

“Anger? How the fuck were you angry with me?!”

“Because you wom’t just admit that you like me! I’ve laid it all out for you, I’ve made the gestures, I’ve-”

“You’ve been sleeping around, you’ve let your temper get the best of you, you’re immature-”

“You don’t need to list every flaw that I have,” he growled. “You’re right and I’m sorry-”

“Lloyd, just leave me alone, please,” you started to sob, throwing the flower down. “You make these big gestures, you say all these things, and then you fucking hurt me. I didn’t do-”

“I meant everything I said to you that night, Hummingbird,” he cooed as he slowly made his way over to you. “I want to make you happy and keep you happy forever, no one has ever made me feel like you do, and I don’t know...it scares me,” he confessed as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Lloyd, please just-”

“I’m not trying to make your life harder-I’m not!” he repeated when you scoffed, “I’m figuring this out, okay? I’ve never...I just want you and In know that you just want me.”

“I don’t know what I want,” you sobbed, finally meeting his gaze, surprised to see just how soft loving it was, and of course it made you yearn for him all that much more.

“I do, Humming. I’ve always known,” he told you breathlessly before cupped your face and kissed you as if he hadn’t seen you in years.

You weren’t surprised by how quickly you’d caved at all. Even with your brain telling you to stop, you also knew that no part of you could deny that you’d missed him. Yeah, you’d missed the sex, but you also just missed Lloyd. You missed the way he teased you about your study habits, you missed him waiting for you outside of your classes, you missed him bringing you dinner and late night snacks when he knew you were staying up too late, the late night phone calls, the personal talks...

You missed Lloyd.

You were both relentless that night, unspoken promises were made, and you let him stay over and hold you close after all was said and done. When morning came, you told him that the night before didn’t change anything and that if really wanted you, he was going to have to really earn you.

You kept the poor man at a distance for almost two months. Then, one night after a football game, everything changed and set what was to be your future in motion.

“Hummingbird, lets go. You’ve had more than enough,” he all but growled as he tried to pull you off of the bar top you were dancing on with Tina.

“Fuck off, Hansen!” you snapped, pulling your hand back as you kept dancing, still mad at him from the argument you two had before the football game.

It also didn’t help that you had 8 shots of tequila consecutively.

“I mean it, Hummingbird. Get your ass off the bar and lets go!”

“Piss off, Hansen!”

“Shut the fuck up, Tina!” he roared back.

It was truly amazing to you how much they hated each other.

You were able to resume dancing for all of 10 seconds before you felt Lloyd’s strong arm around your waist, pulling you down, “hey, let go of me!”

“Time to go back and sleep this off.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you, you fucking asshole!”

“Denny, get your bastard best friend in line!” Tina yelled, pout on her face at the sight of you being dragged away.

“Denny, get your dumb bitch in line!” Lloyd called back, not even bothering to look in the direction of either of them.

“Lloyd, I fucking hate you!” you screamed, still fighting against him.

“Calm the fuck down!”

“Let me go!” you yelled before spat in his face.

He had it coming for the whole damn day in your defence.

“That’s enough, Y/N!” he snapped, finally jerking you still. “I don’t give a fuck that you’re mad at me, you’re too fucking drunk and you need to lay down! We’re going back to my place, you’re sleeping it off, and that’s final!”

“Fine,” you muttered as you finally stopped the scene you were making, but being completely turned on by the way he was controlling you.

“You little bitch, you would fucking spit...stand outside the bathroom and do not move!” he commanded before shoving the bathroom door open.

“Your boyfriend seems like a real dick,” some guy smirked before he took a sip of his beer and leaned against the wall.

“That prick is not my boyfriend,” you scoffed, trying to decide if you wanted to disobey Lloyd or not.

You really wanted another drink.

“You wanna get away from him?”

“When don’t I?”

“Then lets go,” he chuckled before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you out the backdoor with him.

“What the...let me go!”

What was it with guys pulling you around that night?

“C’mon, you said yourself that you wanna get away from that guy!”

“That didn’t mean I wanted to leave with you! Leave me alone!”

“Listen, I saw you dancing on the bar like a little whore-”

“It wasn’t for you! Leave me-”

“Listen, you little bitch! You’re gonna give me what I want and I’ll give you back to your slutty little friend! Now quit-”

“Let me go!” you screamed before you stomped on his foot as hard you could with your heel before elbowing him in the stomach.

“Bitch!” he yelled, doubled over in pain as you started to run off.

How was this happening to you?

You got but only so far before being tackled, “help!”

“Now, you’re gonna fucking pay! I’m gonna make sure you’re in pain for a fuckin week!” he promised as he roughly forced you onto your back, scraping your knees against the gravel in the process before he ripped open your skirt.

“Please stop!” you cried, hitting his chest as hard as you could, but it was useless. “Get off of me!”

“Shut up!”

“The woman said to get off of her!” Lloyd yelled before he kicked the guy in the face and practically sent him flying. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Lloyd asked, rage taking over his entire demeanor as he looked you over.

You couldn’t think of any response other than to shake your head ‘no’.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised before turning and facing the asshole who was trying to get back up. “Come here you piece of shit! When someone fucking says no, you fucking stop!”

You tried to tell him to stop, but you couldn’t swallow down the lump in your throat, and you couldn’t stop shaking. Lloyd was relentless as kept landing blow after blow, but making sure to keep him upright. It’s not like you had the perfect view of his face, but you could tell that he was completely unhinged. Yeah, you’d seen him lose his temper before, but never like this.

“Now, do you understand that no means no?” he growled, holding the piece of shit up by the lapel of his shirt.

“I...I won’t...I’ll never do it again,” the man sputtered out, trying to stay up right.

“I wanna believe you Lamb Chop,” he pouted, feigning sympathy, “but I’m afraid there’s only one way that I’ll believe that something like this will never happen again.”

As if it were the easiest thing in the world, Lloyd snapped the pathetic man’s neck. You didn’t gasp, but the shaking definitely stopped.

“Are you okay?” Lloyd asked again, as he made his way over to you, voice soft as if he hadn’t just killed a man.

All you did was look up at him, eyes wide with shock.

“Hummingbird, are you okay?”

You just nodded. Lloyd sighed, half in annoyance and half in sympathy. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to his frat house, not caring at all that it was a 20 minute walk.

You were quiet for the entire walk, because what could you say? What could you do? You’d just witnessed him kill someone as it were the easiest thing in the world, and he didn’t even seem slightly bothered by it. He just held you close while you clung to him as if your life depended on it, and you both stayed like that until you reached his room.

“You need to clean yourself up,” he told you gently after he finished cleaning up the cuts on your knees.

“That...that guy-”

“Is never going to bother you again.”

“But you...he’s just laying there-”

“It’s taken care of.”

“But what if-”

“Everything is going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about. He’ll never bother you again. No one will.”

“I should go back-”

“Stay here tonight and we’ll figure it all out tomorrow.”

“Lloyd...you have to-”

“I have to make sure you’re all good, Hummingbird.”

“No. No, you need to make sure-”

“Stop it. Every thing is as it should be. Go and clean up.”

In all honesty, that should’ve been enough for you. You knew, that night, that you needed to walk away. Lloyd had murdered someone and felt absolutely no remorse over it. In fact, as you stood under the shower head that night, you were more than sure that wasn’t his first time. When you got out of the shower, you cracked the door and heard him on the phone with someone (more than likely Denny), and he was talking to them about a neat “clean up”. Yes, that night showed you the kind of man you were dealing with, and you had more than enough proof that it was time to walk away.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you dried yourself off, got in bed next to him, and let him hold you close, feeling safer than you’d ever had in your life. Yeah, he’d killed a man, but he killed him for you. He’d told you time and time again that he’d do anything to keep you safe and that night he proved it. Plus, after that night, he was so insanely patient and sweet with you. For a man who had a reputation for not being able to keep his dick in his pants, he didn’t sleep around and didn’t mention anything sexual until you straddled him after an amazing football victory.

No, you can’t blame for Lloyd for much, because he’d never hidden who and how he truly was from the very beginning. You’d always known that he was hot headed, unhinged, and cruel. You’d always known that he was conniving, secretive, and was prone to violent outburst. You’d always known about every horrible thing about him, and maybe that’s why you stayed. Lloyd never seemed to give a damn about anyone or anything, but he gave a damn about you. He let you in more than he’d ever let anyone else in and it made you feel like he wasn’t lying.

When you had a chance to get out, you didn’t.

And yes: you did have an out. Lloyd backed off a lot after he murdered that asshole, because even he knew that he’d shown you the darkest side of himself. He saw the fear in your eyes that night, and he knew it would be best to back off and give you your space, but you pursued him. So yes, to an extent, this was your fault. Lloyd had always been himself and you decided to stay.

You always told yourself that he would grow out of it (which you knew was fucking stupid), and that he’d stick to the career path you two had setup. Looking back on it, maybe he just made the career path to appease you, and maybe you just wanted to live in the fucked fairy-tale just a bit longer, because somewhere deep down inside you knew.

You knew he would never be able to stick to being a football player, because he didn’t know how to listen to anyone (except maybe you), he didn’t do well in social settings unless he had to, and he always hit too damn hard on the field because of his temper and his need to lash out. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew your fairy-tale would end after college graduation. That’s why you fought with him over joining the CIA, and it’s why you knew he’d fail at it. However, you were hopeful that him getting kicked out would push him to choose another career path, but then they asked him to join the private sector and you knew you were fucked.

Yes, to an extent, you could blame yourself but that didn’t clear him of all wrong doing. You’d sacrificed so much if yourself for him and didn’t think the idea of him returning the favor was so far fetched. Fine, he had to work just like you did (especially to afford the life he wanted to live), but once you got pregnant, it should’ve been easy for him to see for himself that he needed to take a step back. It should’ve been enough for him to finally giving instead of taking.

He took you wanting him to take a step back as sign of no longer supporting him, when in fact, it was all about safety and security. For all of the flaws that it had, you loved your life and you wanted it to stay as it had become. The fact that Lloyd couldn’t see that is what triggered the arguments. Sure, you could’ve been more vocal (though you’re pretty sure you made your point pretty fucking clear), but it’s not like it was fucking rocket science. You two had a kid and safety precautions needed to be taken.

What was once a quality you adored about him, his ability and need to be stubborn and hold on to his beliefs, became a quality you hated. Still, you held on and tried to make the best of it, because you loved him with every fiber of your being. You knew the relationship was dying, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to let go. Even with the lonely nights, the brutal arguments, and the sleepless nights you couldn’t walk away.

Then he cheated, something you purposely pushed him towards, and you had an out again. Yeah, the whole process was awful and you hated it, but you told yourself it was for the best because it truly was. He needed something you could no longer offer, and you just couldn’t take feeling like another burden in his life. It was a clean break.

Except for Travis.

Despite all of the issues you and Lloyd had, you both loved Travis more than anything in the world. Lloyd was on time to pick him up whenever it was turn to have him, he stayed on him about his schoolwork and studying for any possible thing that could come up, and did his absolutebet to be every event Travis had. If you’re honest with yourself, it’s one of the reasons it was so hard for you to fall out of love with him. He was so dedicated and he loved Travis more than either ever thought possible. How could you not stay in love with him?

Still, enough damage had happened that it was easy enough for you to stay away, but it wasn’t enough to make you stop wanting and needing him.

“He was good this weekend,” Lloyd commented as Travis ran into your house.

“Did he make a fuss about the food? I know his appetite has been changing lately.”

“Yeah, since when the hell did he start liking peas?”

“That happened on Monday,” you laughed softly, “he wasn’t too fussy?”

“He gets sad sometimes, he likes having the both of us around, but I took him to the aquarium.”

“Oh God,” you groaned, covering your face with your hands.

“What?” he laughed.

“He’s gonna beg me to take him back. He’s been obsessed with it lately.”

“I didn’t know-”

“No, it’s fine. He’s a good kid, he deserves it.”

“Mama! Dad can stay for a bit, right?!” Travis asked enthusiastically.

“Uh...it’s up to your Dad,” you smiled at Lloyd with a shrug.

“Yeah, I can hang around for bit,” he smiled to Travis.

“Great! Mom made chicken parm and salad! We can watch ‘Tombstone’!” he practically yelled before he ran towards the kitchen.

Nights like that made it easy to blur the lines, because it was so easy to fall into a routine, and fall even more in love with Lloyd. Yes, Lloyd did a lot of fucked up things, but when it came to you in Travis, he was a good man. He’d stay over, watch movies, play video games, and read him stories until he fell asleep. Those were the nights that made it hard to stay away. Yeah, you only slept with him once during the divorce, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t other fuck ups, and they weren’t even his fault.

He’d be in the middle of what his schedule looked like for the week and you’d just kiss him. You knew that you were the one who set the rules in place, but seeing him in full Dad mode made you forget for just a moment about all of the hell you two had gone through. In those moments, you remembered how things were supposed to go. You two were still so much in love and having those small moments really made you want him all that much more. You never meant for those moments to happen, especially during the holidays, but it was just so damn hard. When Lloyd Hansen wants to be, he is the most loving and caring person to exist.

Which is why you’re currently staring at yourself in the mirror of the bathroom connected to the spare bedroom, trying to decide if going to Lloyd is the best thing. You know that if you go in there, you two won’t be able to keep to your hands to yourselves and you’ll end up under his spell.

Like always.

However, you can’t stop yourself from wanting him. His touch alone is enough to bring you peace, but him being buried deep inside you...that’s heaven.

It’s home.

It’s not even about needing to be satisfied physically, it’s the fact that no one will ever understand or love you the way that Lloyd does. He gets your crude and cruel sense of humor, he knows the best and worst parts of you, and he’s the Father of your child. Your relationship with him should be perfect, but it’s a fucking shit show, and you know that. You truly do, but no matter how much you try and get your heart to remember that one simple fact, you can’t. You’ve never been able to.

Lloyd, for all of his demons and flaws, is your endgame.

So, you don’t stop yourself from throwing on one of his old and beaten up Harvard sweaters (he always wanted to get rid of them but they held too much meaning to you), and a pair of boxer shorts, and making your way to his room. You know it’s not in your best interest, but you need him.

“Hey,” you say softly, standing in the doorway and looking down at your feet, “dinner was nice...thanks. I’m happy you and Travis made up.”

“We didn’t make up,” Lloyd scoffs as he throws his phone down, “he just hates me a little less than he did when we got home before.”

“He doesn’t hate you, Lloyd.”

“He doesn’t love me.”

“Yes he does,” you sigh, making your way into his bedroom and closing the door behind you, “he just...it’s gonna take time.”

“You’re always nicer than you should be,” he chuckles humorlessly.

“Well, I do love you.”

“A love I don’t deserve.”

“That’s also true.”

“Way to twist the knife.” “You said it.”

“Hummingbird, I really want...I need us to work this out. I can’t lose you again.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Lloyd. It’s not like I’m not still wearing the ring, I’m the one who wanted therapy, I’m making the effort instead of just walking away....I do want this. I’ve wanted this ever since our first date,” you smile weakly as you take a seat on the bed you two are supposed to share. “I just can’t take the stress your job puts on this family. Our family. Travis is in a fight every other week, we’re always arguing, both and Travis and I are always anxious to leave the house, I’m back keeping a pistol both in the glove compartment and my purse-”

“I don’t know how to be apart of this world as a regular, day-to-day citizen and you know that! You’ve always known that!”

“Then why did we have a child? A child that you were barely around for when he was first born!”

“Because I wanted everything with you! I still want everything with you!”

“This was a bad idea,” you sigh as you go to getup, “I don’t wanna spend another night-”

“Don’t go,” he pleads softly as he grabs your wrist, “please don’t go.”

It’s amazing how just his touch is enough to send your mind into a fog. It’s not like you went in there with any fight to begin with, but the hold he has on your wrist is more than enough to get you to give in to what you truly want. You’re straddling him almost instantly, cupping his before you pull him into a deep and passionate kiss.

You finally feel whole again.

“I miss you,” he breathes once you two break apart.

“Miss you too, baby,” you confess, pulling back just a little before pulling his sweater off, “I hate being away from you.”

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he marvels as his hands trace over your body, “I still can’t believe that you’re all mine. That you fucking chose me.”

“I’ll choose you every time, Huckleberry,” you moan as he massages your breasts, kneading your nipples between his fingers.

Once again, it’s never been lost on you how toxic the dance you two do is. You two can’t keep trying to solve everything with sex, you two have a child who sees the toxic relationship you two have daily, and your relationship is on its last leg.

All of that being said, you can’t fucking stop, because Lloyd is everything to you. Your family is everything to you. Everything you’ve ever wanted is everything Lloyd has given to you. The sad fact of the matter is, no matter how bad things are, you know you’ll never have the strength to tell him ‘no’. Hell, even if you two do breakup again, you wouldn’t deny him access to you any time he wanted.

That’s the hardest part about being in love with a devil. They’re a million and ten things wrong with Lloyd, and he was right: you knew all this and still started on this twisted and deranged fairy-tale with him. You should be repulsed by him, and it was a lot easier to be in high school when he was a preppy asshole, but for you? For you, Lloyd would do practically anything. He’s your sweetheart, your best friend, your comedian, your knight in shining armor, and he’s the love of your life.

He’s your Huckleberry.

In a matter of moments, your boxer shorts are off and you’re on top of him, ignoring all of the voices in your head telling you that this is a horrible idea.

“Fuck,” you sigh, slowly sinking yourself down on his cock, digging your nails into his shoulder as he pulls you apart, “oh God!”

“You look so fucking beautiful when you’re on top, Hummingbird,” he growls, gripping your hips tight as you start to grind your hips against, “and this fucking pussy!”

“Lloyd,” you whimper, trying to keep quiet as you chase the high only he can give you.

“Gonna do better for you, Hummingbird...be the man you deserve,” he promises as he starts to pump up into you hard and fast.

“SHIT!”

So much for being quiet.

“C’mon Hummingbird, give me what I need,” he begs, watching you in pure awe as you try and hang on, his hands finds its way between your legs and starts massage your clit, “been way too long, Hummingbird!”

“Oh God, please...yes! YES! FUCK!” you cry out, squirting hard on his cock, almost falling forward.

At some point, some point soon, you need to look into therapy for Travis.

“All for me and we’re just getting started,” he pants with a grin before getting you on your back, “gonna make you feel so fucking good tonight,” he promises before kissing you passionately as he starts to pump into you hard and fast.

“I love...love you so much, baby,” you moan, cupping his face as you let yourself get lost in the lie all over again.

“Yeah? Show much just how much tonight,” he whispers hotly against your ear, his hands caressing your body before nipping on your earlobe.

Yes, somewhere in the back of your mind, you know that the promises that are being made in this moment won’t stand when you’re able to think clearly, but you don’t care. Right now, you just can’t. You’ve been in love with Lloyd for so long and, if all you can do is live in the make believe world of happiness you two always find a way to make for yourselves, then you’ll take it.

You’ve missed your husband, you’ve missed his touch, you’ve missed him being buried deep inside of you, and you’ve missed feeling complete. Lloyd may be a complete and total monster, but he’s the only person whose ever made you feel seen and understood. Lloyd is perfect for you, except for all of the parts of him that aren’t.

How the hell are you ever supposed to feel secure in the choice you have to make? Being with him is the most draining and exhausting thing you’ve ever done, but being without him is absolute Hell and makes you feel insanely alone and depressed. There truly feels like no right answer.

You two spend the next couple of hours professing your love to one another, getting lost in the love that you feel for one another (which started all those years ago), and promise each other that you’ll work it all out.

You truly want to believe that you two will work it all out, because you don’t know how you’re supposed to go without him again. It just doesn’t feel possible.

“I called my Mother earlier,” Lloyd sighs, getting back into bed with you after cleaning you up, “she said she’ll take Travis for the week.”

“Why is he staying with your parents?”

“Why not?”

“Cause there’s no fucking structure in your family.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Hummingbird.”

“I’m sorry, have you not met yourself?”

“Fuck you.”

“You just did.”

“After the conference, we’re gonna go away and talk this out,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around you. “We’re find a way to make this work.”

“Lloyd-”

“I can’t be without you, Hummingbird. I can’t and I won’t. We’re gonna make this work,” he promises, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close. “We can make this work...we can be good again, Hummingbird,” he sighs, kissing the back if your neck softly.

You slowly start drifting off, feeling more relaxed and at ease then you have in weeks. You’re finally back where you belong, but you can’t stop one question from racing through your brain:

Were you two even really good to begin with?

**

“Mr. and Mrs Hansen,” Travis’ principle sighs, “this isn’t the first time we’ve had to talk about Travis’ behavior.”

No, you and Lloyd aren’t married again, but you’re still wearing the engagement ring, so who are you to correct her? Besides, you really do miss being Mrs. Hansen.

“You’re right, it isn’t, but Travis went to you and told you-”

“Our sweet boy has a broken nose! Your son-”

“Your son has been bullying mine for months!” you snap at Mrs. Heston, the mother of the kid Travis punched.

“So, your son had the right to respond with violence? Is that what you teach in your home?” Mr. Heston scoffs in a tone of pure disbelief.

“Better to teach our son to stand up for himself than to teach him to be a little rude little bitch,” Lloyd snarls.

“Mr. Hansen!” the principle reprimands.

“Listen,” you quickly interrupt in a weak attempt to defuse the situation, “Travis shouldn’t have hit Maxwell and he knows that, HOWEVER, Travis had come to you about it and you did nothing about it.”

“Boys will be boys, you know that,” Mrs. Heston chuckles, “he was only teasing-”

“I don’t think you would find it all that fucking funny if the shoe were on the other foot,” you snarl, quickly loosing all composure.

“No, it is by no means funny what happened to your son, and we’re truly happy he’s okay, but that doesn’t make up for him breaking our son’s nose. Your child is violent and on his way to becoming a delinquent,” Mr. Heston finishes with a huff and a nod.

You should’ve known that if you didn’t snap on one of these idiots, Lloyd would.In almost an instant, Lloyd is on the other side of the room and landing a blow to Mr. Heston’s face.

“Lloyd,” you sigh with a frustrated groan, grabbing your purse and getting up.

“You and your son a two little pieces shit,” Lloyd growls, ignoring you and the fact that hes now terrified the Hestons and the principal as he steps on the man’s chest, “and I’ll see both of you useless cum stains in hell,” he spits. “Don’t worry about Travis making up for time lost, because we’re pulling him out of this shit cage. The place is run by a bunch of morons anyway.”

“Mr. Hansen! We can work something-”

“We’re done here,” he says with a shrug before strutting out as if he hadn’t just scared the shit out of everyone with his temper.

No matter how hard he tries, they’re just some things about Lloyd Hansen that’ll never change.

“Mrs. Hansen-”

“You heard him: we’re done here,” you glare before following him out. “Lloyd-”

“Why don’t I ever fucking listen? And why the fuck don’t I ever listen?!”

“This isn’t field work, babe,” you sigh, taking your hand in his, “you can’t just hit people in the face-”

“You heard them! They weren’t taking accountability for their snot nosed little shit-”

“Lloyd, who do you thinks deals with all of this when you’re gone or too caught up with work? I know how they talk about him, how they see us, and I see the judgemental stares. I know how infuriating all of it is, but you can’t just fly off the handle because someone got under your skin.”

“Since when?”

“Since this isn’t your world. This is Travis’ world and you need to remember that your actions effect his life. Yeah, I’m happy that we’re finally pulling him out of hell hole, but he still has one or two friends. You don’t think this will get out?”

“It’s annoying...you always being right is annoying,” he sighs, finally coming to a stop, facing you, and leaning his forehead against yours as you giggle softly. “I’m sorry.”

“You know, I’m not the only one you owe an apology to.”

“Yeah, when we get back.”

“Why did you ask your Mom to take him for the week?”

“We need more than a weekend to talk this shit out, and I’m sure Travis needs a break from me and all my bullshit. My Mom adores the shit out of him and I know my Dad will keep him busy with books and sports talk.”

“There’s still no fucking structure at your parents place.”

“Next time, we’ll let him stay at your parents place,” he mumbles, “lets get out of here.”

“We to do the paperwork-”

“My assistant will take care of it. We need to get out of here before I break something.”

“You and that temper of yours,” you smirk before resuming your trip out of the building.

“It’s not like you fell in love thinking I was some fucking choir boy.”

“You are in fact correct, Huckleberry.”

“There’s my good little Hummingbird,” he coos and you start laughing.

God, please let this trip help the both of you, because you don’t know how the hell he’ll survive without you.

Or how you’ll survive without him.

**

The drive to wherever the hell Lloyd rented for you two is starting to feel like it’ll never end.

“Lloyd, can you please just tell me-”

“Hummingbird, stop asking.”

“We’ve been in the car for three and a half hours!”

“We’ve stopped for food and snacks-”

“That’s not the point, Lloyd! I’m tired of being in the car!”

“You weren’t this fussy when I drove you to the farm to propose to you.”

“Yes I was!”

“You were? I guess I was more nervous than I thought,” he says nonchalantly.

“Wait, you were nervous-”

“We’re here!” he announces, letting you know he won’t be diving back into that for the time being.

You begrudgingly turn attention to the windshield and gasp, “Lloyd!”

“I know this isn’t necessarily going to be fun, but I still wanted to try for you. You’ve been wanting to take a trip to the mountains for years, and I thought could at least soften some of the blows.”

“I don’t want to spend a week arguing with you, babe.”

“It’s not like I want to, and this is on me, but you’re the one who keeps saying that we have to be honest with one another about this shit. I want this to work. Us to work. So, lets rip off the band-aid.”

“Thank you, Lloyd. I love you.”

“I love you too, Hummingbird...ya know,” he starts with a mischievous grin, “we don’t have to start this thing off with an argument.”

“I swear to God,” you laugh as he unlocks the doors.

“There’s my good girl.”

The instant he’s on your side of the car, he’s opening your door, throwing you over his shoulder, and you can’t stop from giggling and kicking your legs a little as he rushes up the steps to unlock the front door. He’s quick to kick the door closed and is moving so fast that you barely get to take in the blur that is the house around you.

Well, it’s more like a mansion.

“Can’t wait to get you upstairs,” Lloyd husks as he sets you down on the kitchen counter, “I need you to make me feel better in only the way you can, and I need it now.”

“Take what you need, daddy,” you moan at the feel of his fingers skillfully undoing your jeans.

“Such a good girl,” he smirks, roughly pulling your pants off, and ripping your panties off, “you wore my favorite red lace ones? Aww, daddy will make it up to you later, sweetie. For now, daddy’s gonna abuse this this fucking body until he’s fucking satisfied, understand me?” he states firmly, sliding two fingers into your dripping cunt.

“Please,” you sigh, ecstasy taking over your body as lay back on your on your elbows, “do your worst daddy, please!”

“Daddy’s good little slut.”

“Anything for you!”

You writhe in pleasure as he starts to massage your clit, opting to take off your shirt and your bra, because you know what’s coming and you need to feel all of him when it finally gets to that point.

“Fuck! Need to...fuck!”

“Daddy didn’t say you can cum yet,” he taunts condescendingly, slapping your cunt with his other hand.

“DADDY!”

“You better not fuckin cum until I say so,” he warns, his voice menacing, only making you clench around his fingers, “been so long since you’ve been my little hasn’t it?”

“Too fucking long, daddy,” you moan as you start to massage your breasts, a silent gasp escaping your lips as you start kneading your nipples between your fingers.

“Change of plans, sweetie, you’re gonna finish off in daddy’s mouth.”

Instantly, Lloyd pulls you to the edge of the smooth marble countertop, dips down and starts sucking and pulling on your clit, and you buck your hips as you arch your back. Yeah, you two spent hours making up for lost time last night, but this is so much more different. Last night was all about apologies and making each other feel the love you’d both felt you’d been lacking, but right now? Right now is all about getting out all of those pent up feelings of anger and aggression, and not even towards each other. You haven’t forgotten that a few short hours ago, he punched a man in the face and practically stomped on his chest.

Yeah, you love the punishments he gives you, and it’s been entirely too long, but if denies you of an orgasm you may actually commit a crime.

“You’re so fucking good to me, daddy!” you whimper, eyes welling up with tears as you grip his hair and start grinding your pussy against his face. When you removes his fingers and replaces them with his tongue, you know you can’t hold on any longer, “please!”

With one hand, he grips your thigh tight, while teasing your clit with his thumb with the other, and you know he’s giving you his permission, thank God. You scream his name, gripping his hair tighter than you mean (you know he doesn’t give a shit), trying to enjoy the feel of him tongue fucking you through your high, but it isn’t enough.

You need more.

“Such a desperate, needy little thing,” he pants with a grin, clearly satisfied with his work as he stands up and looks you over, your juices shinning in his mustache.

“Daddy,” you beg pathetically, chest heaving as you prop yourself up on your shoulders, “please.”

“Please what?” he growls, unzipping his pants as he looks you over in your wrecked state, making no attempt to hide how much he wants to destroy you.

“Fuck me.”

“Say it again.”

“Fuck me. Fuck me so hard that I can’t walk, daddy. Destroy me, please!” you beg as your hand slides between your legs and you start to massage your clit. “Or do I have to remind you how to do it?”

In the blink of an eye, Lloyd pulls you off the counter, turns you around and pins your hands behind your back with one hand, forces you against the counter, and thrusts himself inside of you.

“FUCK!”

“You think you’re so fucking cute, don’t you?” he snarls as he slams into you hard and fast. “Thinking I forgot how to take care of what’s mine? Like I don’t know how the fuck to satisfy you?”

“DADDY!”

“Don’t go fucking stupid on me now, you little bitch! Answer the fucking question!”

All you can do is lull your head back as you scratch up your own wrists, getting lost in pure pleasure at feel of his breath on your neck.

Lloyd isn’t having that.

With his free hand, he grips your hair tight, pulls it tight and says, “I want a fucking answer. You get your fucking pussy eaten and forget how to respond? I asked you a fucking question!”

“Daddy!”

“Don’t tell me it’s too much for you now. Already fucked so stupid that you can’t answer a simple fucking question?” he asks, relentlessly fucking into you as he pulls your hair harder.

“I...I know you can fuck me good, daddy! I’m sorry-”

“Not yet, you little bitch!” he growls as he grips your throat. “Don’t ever make that mistake again, you understand me?!”

“Anything you say, daddy!” you sob, climax building as you try and fight off another release. “I’ll be so good for you!” “You bet your fucking ass you will be!” he growls as his grip on your neck gets tighter. “Pussy is so fucking tight...such a sweet little whore! Cum for daddy! Make a mess and cum so fucking hard for me, sweet girl!”

“FUCK!”

As you squirt hard on his cock (you’re more than sure you’ve gotten it on his pants), and your legs tremble as they struggle to hold you upright, you can’t help but wonder why Lloyd is the only person who can satisfy your needs.

“That’s a good girl,” he praises as your eyes flutter shut and you lull your head back. “Remember when we first started fucking? No one had ever been inside that tight little fucking asshole,” he taunts as his hand travels down your body, before reaching your ass and slapping it hard.

“Daddy!”

“Do you remember?”

“Fuck...yes! Yes, your cock is the only one...the only one thats been in my ass!”

“Been so long...think I might have to stretch out this tight little ass after I eat it. What do ya think, honey?”

“Please, daddy! Anything you want!” you whimper tugging at his shirt, “please!”

“What does my queen need?” he husks hotly against your ear, his grip tightening a little and you know he’s close.

“Please...take it off...wanna feel all of you!”

“Anything you want,” he promises with a grunt before forcing you to bend over the countertop, releasing your hands, taking his top off, and gripping your hips, tight. “You’re gonna cum hard for me while I fill you up, then you’re clean daddy off, and I’m gonna fuck you until I’m satisfied, you understand me, sweet girl?”

All you’re able to get out is a garbled moan as you claw at the countertop, too lost in the pleasure of him fucking you like his own personal rag doll.

“Daddy’s perfect little girl,” he chuckles darkly, “my favorite little cum slut, come on, baby, give me what I want!” he demands slamming his hips into you as he fills you to the brim.

Your brain may not be able to respond properly, but your body is on autopilot. You let out a pitiful moan as you squirt hard, laying your head against the cool marble top as your legs almost give out again.

“Always making such a pretty mess for me, baby,” he coos softly as he strokes your ass while pulling out, before slapping your it hard, “now clean me up!” he demands harshly.

What the hell were you two even supposed to be arguing about this week?

You do your best to get on your knees quickly, but the idea of functioning in any way is somewhat lost on you, and you know Lloyd loves it. Yeah, Lloyd loves when you’re a little sex vixen, but he also loves when he turns you into a puddle. The only thing that Lloyd loves more than your tears from getting lost in euphoria, is you being completely weak and a giant puddle.

He loves that, after all this time, he still makes you feel better than anyone else ever has and ever will.

“Look up at me, honey. Let me see that beautiful little face,” he demands condescendingly as he grips your face.

You can’t even begin to imagine how fucking wrecked you look. You’re more than sure your mascara is ruined, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you have a dazed and fucked out look on your face.

You look exactly the way he loves.

“My beautiful little cum dump,” he snickers, “open.”

You instantly obey and he doesn’t even give you a chance to prepare yourself for him, before he starts roughly face fucking you. The crazed look in his eyes only makes you crave him more, and the devilish smirk playing on his lips lets you know that he knows what’s going on in your brain.

“Need me to stuff that pussy with this fat cock again, Hummingbird? Make you cum until you pass out and I’m still fucking you? You miss that so much don’t you?” he teases as he grips your hair tighter.

You can only moan in response, but you know he knows that you’re agreeing with him. As much as you love Travis, things changed drastically once he was brought into the picture.

As they should have.

Yes, you and Lloyd still had what some may call ‘wild sex’ (Tina did), but you two brought it down a lot. There would be no way in hell for the two of you to explain to a three year old why Lloyd’s balls deep in your ass while you have a ball gag in your mouth, and your hands are bound behind your back.

Maybe that’s also a factor that you hadn’t thought of when it comes to the reason as to why you two fell apart.

No, you two didn’t make sex your entire relationship, but it definitely played an important part. You were just as sexual and perverse in your sexual desires as Lloyd was, and when the arguments started to become more and more, the sex became less and less. It’s not like either of you wanted it to happen, but the angrier you two got, the harder it was for you two to separate angry sex from mind-numbing, passionate sex.

Lack of conversation, lack of passion, lack of sex...all of it truly played a part in the downfall of your relationship, but you can’t focus on that right now. Not when you two have each other like this, vulnerable and out in the open like this. Yes, you two would have date nights when Travis would go and stay with his friends or his grandparents, but it wasn’t the same, because you both were waiting on him to call and ask either of you to pick him up. No, this was different because, for the first time in a long time, you two had real alone time together.

Neither of you were about to ruin it with drama that hadn’t even stared yet.

“Tell me how much you need, daddy, Hummingbird,” Lloyd moans as he continues to fuck your mouth. “You love when I fucking destroy you for anyone else?”

You don’t even make an effort to try and push him off so you can answer him. You just keep taking the assault he gives you, hoping your eyes tell him everything you need to say but can’t.

“Daddy should reward you, shouldn’t he?” he chastises as he grips your hair and forces you off his cock.

God help you.

Without any hesitation, he’s pulling you up, before picking you up and forcing your legs around his waist.

“You did so good for daddy, Hummingbird,” he praises as he thrusts himself inside of you, and you gasp at the feel of him splitting you apart all over again. “Always been such a good little whore for me, baby,” he coos as he softly drags his nose across your collar bone. “So filthy and so beautiful, and it’s all for me, isn’t it?”

“Only ever for you, daddy,” you whimper, your head lulling back as he fucks into you as if hes been without you for years.

Easily enough, he maneuvers around the house, as if hes been there a million times, as he kisses you all over, the hairs of his mustache tickling your chest lightly as you grip his hair and roll your hips against his. God, you can’t remember the last time you two were able to be so needy and desperate in the most pathetic way. Even though you two have been back together for a little over a year, you’re always the one to remind him that Travis is at the age where he can be emotionally scarred by the weird and kinky shit you two are into.

“Daddy’s gonna be nice and let you take what you want from him,” he groans as he takes a seat on the couch, licking your chest with the tip of his tongue and it sends a shiver down your spine as you feel him go deeper inside of you.

“Missed you so much,” you whimper as you start to ride him, “haven’t had you like this in forever, daddy!”

“Yeah? You missed being fucked like the little desperate whore you are?”

“You know I do!”

“My poor little sweet thing,” he coos condescendingly as you pick up your pace, his hand snaking its way around your throat and gripping it tight, “been so unsatisfied because I haven’t been able to fuck in the torture room like I did a couple of months ago?”

“DADDY!”

“Took my cock so fucking well that night, baby, remember?” he questions as he presses kisses along your neck.

There’s no way you could forget that night. Travis had gone to bed early, you and Lloyd got into a drunken argument, you told him that you two needed to take it to the basement because you both were getting too loud and you didn’t wanna wake Travis, and it turned into fucking all night in positions you hadn’t done since college.

The next day, Travis kept asking you why you were walking so slow and funny, and you lied and told him you pulled something.

“Oh, someone’s close,” Lloyd smirks, as you clench around him at just the thought of that night.

“Feels so good to be your rag doll, daddy! So happy...so happy to please you!”

“Jesus, fucking cum for me right now, Hummingbird! Fucking make a mess all over this fucking sofa!”

“Can’t...need to fucking...oh my GOD!”

“Be a good girl for daddy and fucking cum!” he demands roughly.

It’s amazing how quickly you turn into putty for this man.

“God, YES!” you scream as your release washes over.

Lloyd gives you no chance to recover as he pins you down and starts fucking into you hard and fast.

“DADDY PLEASE!”

“Such a filthy little thing,” he grunts, his pace unrelenting as you claw at his back, “creaming all over my fucking cock like a desperate little whore!”

“I’m so fucking close!”

“Yeah you fucking are, and you’re gonna fucking ruin this sofa with that sweet cream between your fucking legs!”

“Oh my...FUCK! YES, PLEASE!”

“Give it to me, Hummingbird!”

“LLOYD!” you scream as you cream hard all over his cock, more than sure you’ve followed his command of making a mess on the sofa.

“Y/N!” he growls into your neck, his release filling you up, and you can’t help but smile at the feel of it leaking out and running down your ass cheeks. You both take a moment to get yourselves together, before Lloyd asks, “you had enough, Hummingbird?”

“Not even close,” you breathe.

“That’s my girl.”

You and Lloyd stay at it for hours, he has you in every room he can find (almost as if he’s christening the house), marking each other up, degrading each other, while also building each other up, and it’s heaven. You want to stay locked in this moment for the week, but you know you two have to deal with reality at some point.

“Daddy! Please don’t stop!” you cry out as Lloyd fucks into you relentlessly from behind, as you two fuck up the pillows in the master bedroom.

“Give me that sweet cream! Be the little slut you’ve always been and make a fucking mess!”

“Can’t...so close!”

“C’mon, I know my Hummingbird can-”

“FUCK!” you scream as his hand tightens around your neck, your orgasm hitting so hard your legs almost give out.

“Such a good fucking girl,” he growls as he fills you for what feels like the millionth time. “Always such a warm fucking finish,” he breathes as he rests his head in the crook of your neck.

He rides out both of your highs before pulling out, collapsing next to you, and pulling you close. You lay your head on his chest, rest one of your hands on his pecs, and try to match his breathing.

It’s the closest you’ve felt to heaven in a long time.

“You ready to argue?” he asks once his breathing evens out.

“I guess so.”

“Lets fuckin have it out, Hummingbird.”

God help you both.

**

The arguments you two have in the next few days following your grand opening fuck fest are brutal to say the least.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Hummingbird,” Lloyd growled as he walked out of the kitchen and into the back patio.

“Well you’re gonna fucking hear about it! You’re the greediest son of a bitch, and I am tired of you acting like it’s everyone else with the fucking problem!”

“Hummingbird, you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve being mad about a fucking job that keeps a roof over your head-”

“I had my own fucking job that kept a roof over Travis and I’s head-”

“And where is that job now?!”

“Watch it, Hansen,” you warned, “lets not get into the fucking blame game here, because we both know it wasn’t me who lost me that fucking job!”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! You’ve always known that my job comes with a level of-”

“Oh my God! You’re a fucking sociopath that has a nice fucking government job to hide behind!”

“You know that’s not-”

“It is! Stop lying to me like I’m someone who hasn’t known the darker parts of you-”

“EXACTLY! YOU FUCKING KNEW!” he roared at you. “You’ve known since that, and I’m pretty fucking sure since before then too! I backed off and gave you a chance to leave, and you sought me out! Don’t make it seem like I dragged you into hell! You willingly came-”

“THEN WE HAD A FUCKING CHILD, LLOYD! Why is it so preposterous that I wanted you to pull back, you selfish fuck?! What the fuck did you expect me to do?! I didn’t stray from the career path, you did! And you sure as shit made sure to tell me about it after you made your choice!”

“Then why did you say ‘yes’?!”

“Because I love you, you stupid sack of shit! I love you and, I don’t know, I thought that we’d have some sort of fucking future together, because you kept talking about settling down and having a family! Then, in trying to fucking start that family with you, I had two fucking miscarriages that you couldn’t even be bothered to notice, because you were too wrapped up in yourself to even fucking notice anything! For fucks sake, did you even want Travis? Or was it just to feed into this version of yourself that you were trying to create?! Jesus, do you even fucking love him?!” you shouted, instantly regretting it.

“FUCK YOU!” he spat. “You fucking know that you and him are my entire universe-”

“THEN WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING ACT LIKE IT?!” you screamed as your tears finally started to fall. “You make us feel like the biggest burdens, when all we’re trying to do is be a part of your world-”

“MY WORLD IS TOO DARK FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!”

“THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FIGHTING SO HARD TO SAVE THIS FUCKING DEAD END MARRIAGE?!” you sobbed before you stormed back into the house.

You both would take things entirely too far, holding each other accountable for every terrible crime you two had committed against each other, and wanting one another to know that neither of you was blameless in the downfall of the marriage. However Lloyd, being the secret sweetheart that he is, would make sure you two didn’t go to bed mad at one another.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed as he approached the bedroom, leaning against the door frame.

“We’re a fucking time bomb,” you sniffled with a halfhearted chuckle as you wiped your eyes.

“I constantly ask why you didn’t just leave, like I didn’t bother the fuck out of you, and that’s not fair. The moment I laid eyes on you, I needed you and I didn’t want you with anyone else. In High School, I knew I didn’t have a chance, but college? I told myself that I’d be a version of myself that you deserved. I tried to fit into a roll that I never had any business trying to to even get close to. I really want to be that guy for you, Hummingbird. The guy. My actions never follow up, and...I know it’s on me and I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I did about you loving Travis. I know how much you love the both of us, it’s never been a question, and that was a low blow. I’m really sorry, Lloyd.

“I love you, Hummingbird.”

“I love you too, Huckleberry.”

“Maybe we should start leaving certain things off the table?”

“Maybe we should start learning how to control our tempers,” you giggled as he made his way into the bed room. He was slow to get to the bed, but was quick to pull you close. “I want to save this “dead end marriage”, because you and Travis are my entire life and I need to start acting like it.”

“Why is it so simple for you in these moments, but-”

“Please don’t ask, because I don’t fucking know. I really don’t, but I know that I do truly want to make this work. I know I don’t always act like it or always show it, but I fucking mean it, Hummingbird. I exist for you and Travis and you and Travis alone. I will be better, and I know I keep saying that and fucking up, but I will be.”

“Lloyd, would it be so terrible if we just walked away-”

“You know it would be. Don’t do that. Don’t ask questions-”

“We’re always hurting one another-”

“No, I’m always hurting you and lashing out at you when you rightfully get angry. Losing you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with, with almost losing Travis coming in at number one with almost dying. Being without either of you is something I can’t do.”

“Lloyd...” you trailed off with a sob.

“Hummingbird,” he cooed softly as he gripped your waist and pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him, “we can do this. You’re right when you say this isn’t college and we can’t keep going on like we have, and I know it’s on me. It’s on me and I swear I’m gonna do better. Please, just don’t give up on us. It’s a hard ask, but please.”

“Lloyd...”

“Please,” he begged softly before he started to litter the side of your neck with soft and desperate kisses. “Please.”

That’s when you were always at war with yourself. You knew what came with the soft and sweet moments: the darkness and chaos of his world. However, Lloyd is your world, and walking away isn’t as easy as everyone would like for it to be.

“How’re you?” Travis asked via FaceTime as you took a seat at the patio outside. “Where’s Dad?”

“I’m good. We both are. He’s at the grocery store.”

“Are you two coming back soon? I love Gran and Poppy, but they’re driving me crazy. I asked to go and see Nana and Pop-pop and Gran damn near threw a fit.”

“Travis!”

“Well, she did!” he huffed as he settled onto his bed. “How did you even end up with Dad? Your families are so different. You two are so different.”

“Sometimes opposites just attract,” you sighed, knowing where it was headed.

“I just don’t get it. Dad’s an asshole. He’s either here and ruining everyone’s mood, or he’s buried in work and acting like we don’t exist.”

“He’s adjusting. It’s hard, Trav. We’re all adjusting, because the life we’re trying to have now is a lot different from the one we had before.”

“Yeah, but you left him.”

“It’s not because I don’t love him anymore. Honey, we both love each other so much, and your Father would do absolutely anything for you.”

“I know,” he muttered.

“He’s trying, baby.”

“Well, he needs to try harder.”

“Travis, I know it’s hard, trust me, but you have to have patience with him. No matter what happens between he and I, he’s always going to be your Father and he thinks the world of you. Even if he doesn’t always act like it.”

“I just wish he could be normal.”

“There’s no such thing as normal, sweetie. I hate to break it to you.”

“Normal dads don’t punch other dads in the face.”

“He was being a total dick and it was more than warranted. Sometimes, your Dad shows his love with his fists.”

“But it’s a problem when I do it.”

“When you start making a living off if, maybe I’ll reconsider it,” you smiled sarcastically as you took a sip of wine. “Just...give him a chance, honey. He stopped doing field work to be closer to home and keep an eye on us, but it’s a major change for him too. It’s a major change for all of us, and we’re all doing our best.”

“I liked him a lot more when he wasn’t home.”

“Travis...please. If you only knew just how much he truly loves you.”

“What does he even do?”

“You know he works with your Godfather.”

“Doing what?”

“Things you’re not old enough to know about yet, and you don’t want to know about.”

“I’ve almost died twice-”

“And he feels terrible about that! Travis, I’ve only ever seen your Father cry once, and it was when you were fighting for your life. He still hates himself for that.”

“Mom-”

“Travis, he’s not a bad guy. He may gray the area sometimes, but when it comes to this family, he’s not a bad guy. Please.”

“I know that he loves me, and I love him. I want us all to be together, but not if he’s going to keep-”

“He’s not. Travis, I promise. He knows that things have to change and he’s determined to make those changes. Please, just be patient. I know you’ve dealt with a lot, but everyone is doing their absolute best. It’s going to get better. No matter what happens between your Father and I, things are going to get better for you.”

“Do I really get to be home schooled?”

“Yup, it was all your Dad’s doing.”

“Really?”

“Yup, he finally gets it.”

“I miss going to the aquarium with him.”

“Have you told him?”

“No.”

“Do you think you should?”

“He doesn’t seem to wanna be bothered by me.”

“Trav, he misses you too. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to spend time with you. He thinks you hate him.”

“Well, I think he doesn’t give a shit about me.”

“Travis, I swear to God-’

“Gran doesn’t care!”

“And look how your Father turned out. There’s no fucking structure in that family,” you muttered before you could stop yourself, “do NOT say that.”

“Everyone can swear except me.”

“Stop being in such a rush to grow up. It sucks,” you laughed before taking a sip of your drink.

“Can we all go to a movie or something when you two get back?”

“Funny you should ask, because your Dad got us tickets to a Patriots game next week-”

“HE DID?!”

“He thought it’d be make you happy,” he laughed softly. “He really wants to make things right, honey. I know it’s a lot and it’s not easy, but he’s trying. Just give him time, okay?”

“Fine. I guess it’s not-”

“TRAVY!” Stef, Lloyd’s Mother called and you rolled your eyes.

“I swear to God that’s the dumbest nickname ever,” you scowled.

“Why do you hate her so much?”

“I don’t hate your Grandmother, she’s just...a lot to deal with. Look at your Father.”

“You chose him.”

“That I did,” you laughed. “Go see what she wants before she has a breakdown. I love you and your dad and I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“I love you too, Mom. I can’t wait till you’re both back,” he smiled before hanging up.

For just a moment, your heart felt lighter and you were happier, but it all went away when you saw Lloyd leaning against the doorway.

“How much did you hear?” you asked softly.

“Lets go for a hike, Hummingbird,” he shrugged as he pushed himself off the door frame and slid his shoes back on.

“Lloyd-”

“It makes no sense to come all the way out here and not doing something you love. It’s been forever, c’mon.”

The drive was silent, and the hike was silent too, until you reached the waterfalls and you two took a seat.

“He hates me,” Lloyd muttered after a moment.

“Lloyd-”

“Don’t try to butter me up, Hummingbird. He hates-”

“He doesn’t hate you, Huckleberry, he just doesn’t know you. At least, not anymore. Who you were before the incident and who you are now...you’re not the same with him.”

“I don’t want him to be soft and unprotected-”

“You don’t have to be your Father, Lloyd. It’s best if you aren’t,” you chuckled humorlessly.

“There’s nothing wrong-”

“Look at our family, Huckleberry. Look at us. No, your Father isn’t terrible, but he’s the farthest from the best.”

“You love me.”

“And I’m still trying to figure out why,” you smirked.

“Come here,” he encouraged with a devilish smirk.

“Lloyd-”

“Come rest in my lap, Hummingbird.”

You knew that it would only lead to trouble, but you couldn’t stop yourself as you straddled him.

“Daddy-”

“Remember the last time we were in front of a waterfall? That’s when you got pregnant with Travis.”

“Daddy-”

“Lets see if we can recreate that night...minus the bonfire,” he chuckled before he started biting sucking on your sweet spot.

Yes, a lot of days (if not all of them) had ended with sex, but it was nothing like when you two were fucking to avoid the problem at hand. You two were making love because you wanted to make up for lost time and because you both just wanted to feel close again. It feels like it’s been forever since you and Lloyd just got to hangout and you truly did miss your best friend.

“I think our son is gonna kill your parents,” you giggle as you make your way out onto the upper deck.

“Yeah, I just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago. Next time, we’ll leave him with your parents,” he mutters as he pulls you down onto his lap.

“How’d that conversation go?”

“Good. He wants to go to the aquarium when we get back. Just me and him, he thanked me for finally deciding on home schooling, and I apologized for being a complete jackass for the last few months...and before that.”

“Both my boys finally getting along again,” you sigh a small smile on your lips as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I feel bad. We should rent this house again and bring him next time. He’d love it. Like his Mother, he’d hate the drive, but he’d love it here.”

“We can bring him here whenever we want. This is our house.”

“I’m sorry, come again?! you exclaim, sitting up and looking directly at him.

“It’s ours,” he chuckles, perfect showing just a bit, “well, if you decide you want there to be an us. I had it built for you. No matter what you decide, I wanted to give you something big, and I feel like this is a good start.”

“Lloyd...”

“We’ve been together for how long and I just did this for you? I owe you so much, and I figure this was the easiest to start with.”

“Lloyd! This had to cost a fortune!”

“Don’t worry about it-”

“Oh God, who did you kill?”

“What does that mean?”

“Whenever you’ve told me not to worry about something, it’s because you killed someone.”

“Name one time-”

“The boss I had before my last one. I told you that I didn’t get the promotion, and the very next day, I had the promotion and my boss was dead.”

“He was an asshole.”

“You still killed him.”

“You let me fuck you so hard we broke the bed. You didn’t seem too torn up about it.”

“I called you a piece of shit all night,” you retort with an eye roll.

“Well, not all night. You did let stick that-”

“LLOYD!”

“I didn’t kill anyone, Jesus Christ,” he laughs, grip on you tightening a little. “Denny did.”

“Jesus!”

“It was all business related. I’m a million miles away from it. Any way, the person who needed the favor, offered Denny anything he wanted, Denny asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted this.”

“Why did he ask you what you wanted?”

“He feels bad. He doesn’t care about much, but he cares about this family cause it’s his too, and he can’t help but feel slightly responsible for the current state we’re in.”

“Do my ears deceive me? Are Lloyd Hansen and Denny Carmichael actually...soft?” you question with a gasp, feigning surprise.

“Watch it, Hummingbird,” he warns and you flip him off.

“You don’t scare me, Hansen. My crazy can match yours.”

“Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.”

“You were nervous to propose to me?” you question, remembering how quickly he changed the subject once he pulled up to the house.

“Of course I was,” he scoffs as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“You didn’t seem nervous.”

“Why do I feel like you wanna have a long talk about this?”

“Because you’re as smart as you are pretty,” you smile sarcastically and he rolls his eyes.

“Inside, Hummingbird. If we’re gonna talk about my fucking feelings, I’m gonna need a fucking drink.”

“That’s not a good habit,” you mumble as he picks you up and forces your legs around his waist.

“Yeah well, you have me in a rare position and that’s terrifying to me too,” he shrugs while opening the screen door, smirking as he looks down your exposed cleavage in your low-cut shirt.

“What position is that?” you giggle as he rushes down the stairs.

“The position of me giving you whatever your heart desires.”

“Except quitting,” you sigh as he places you on the kitchen counter.

“You and I both know there’s gotta be some work around from me quitting. I agree, I need to handle all of this shit better, but quit and do what, Hummingbird?”

“You could be a coach, open your own weapons store, work on the analytics team for the Patriots, work for fucking Harvard-”

“You know good and fucking well that none of those jobs will keep me and my issues at bay.”

“Lloyd-”

“Can we have one argument at a time?”

“I don’t wanna argue about this!”

“We always argue about it! This is what the hold up is with our relationship, isn’t it? You’re in love with someone who’s fucked up in multiple ways, and I won’t let you go because you and Travis are the one thing in this world that I actually give a damn about. The one thing that you can’t deal with is the job, and it’s not even because it makes you look at me in a different light. You’ve seen what I’ve done, you’ve done what I’ve done, and you get it. The issue isn’t that you hate what I do, it’s that it’s a risk a to Travis, and you hate that. You hate it because you should be repulsed by what I do and how I am, and it should’ve been enough to make you walk away years ago, but it wasn’t. Now, you have an unhinged husband and a child fighting for normalcy, and unlike me, us having a child was enough for you to realize that things needed to change.”

“Then why can’t you-”

“BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO, HUMMINGBIRD!” he shouts, and you feel his heart break at his confession. “I am not like you! I can’t just look at the fucked up shit I do and say, “it’s time to find something else.”! No, I keep thinking I can fix everything and save everyone, because I don’t know how to be normal around our son without doing all of the dark bullshit you don’t want to know about! So yes, that is where we keep getting stuck, because neither of us can find a solution!”

“Lloyd-”

“I know I’m not easiest to love, Hummingbird. I know that I’ve made all of this hard since day one, but you stayed despite all of it. You stayed and made me feel normal and safe, and how could I not fall more in love with you? Now, this is where we are, and I can’t fucking blame you, I really can’t, but I can’t let either of you go. You want me to lay all my cards on the table? There they are. I don’t know how to be the man you need me to be without this job,” he sighs before he downs his drink.

You don’t even know how to respond, because everything he said is right. You hate that you’ve always been able to stomach and look away from the shit he does, because of how he is with you. Lloyd is capable of a lot of horrible things, but for you? He’s always been your knight in shinning armor. Granted, he’s a chaotic knight and shinning armor, but he’s still yours nonetheless. The fact of the matter is, if his job wasn’t so dangerous to Travis, you’d still look the other way. You’d look the other way, pretend it was all normal and okay, and go on with your happy family.

The reality of this makes you face a harsh truth: maybe Lloyd was never the issues. Maybe its always been you.

“Why were you nervous to propose?” you ask softly, faint smile playing on your lips as you blink back your tears.

“Hummingbird-”

“Why?”

“The same I’m nervous now: you don’t need me.”

“Lloyd-”

“It’s not a slight at you, Hummingbird, it’s just a fact. You’re smart as a whip, you can get any job you want, you’re gorgeous, you’re strong...you don’t nee me. Maybe that’s what always attracted me to you, maybe it’s what made me want to be better, and maybe it’s what drives me insane. What the hell would you ever need me for? To raise a kid? Travis is clearly better off with you,” he scoffs as he pours himself a drink and pours you one of your own. “Its been clear from day one that you don’t need shit from me, and that terrified me, because I needed you. I’ve always needed you and and I always will. You’re the normal one, I’m not,” he smirks as he puts your drink down next to you before settling between your legs.

“Huckleberry...”

“I need you to reel me back in, I need you to make simple fucking meals, I need you to tell me when I’m getting too high off the ground, I need your love, I need your patience, I need to hear your laughter, I need your understanding, I need your guidance...I needed you and I’ve never needed anyone. Even now, I need you more than you’ve ever needed me-”

“I really wish you knew how much that isn’t true. Lloyd...I didn’t feel like I was alive until I started...hanging out with you,” you laugh softly. “I’m able to be such a good Mom, because I know Travis has you to fall back on, if that makes any sense. I know you’re always in his corner, wanting the best for him, and always loving him. The love I know you feel for him is what keeps me strong when I feel like I’m doing all of this wrong. You attempting to make breakfast when I’m too tired and/or worn out to do it, you taking him for an extra week when you could tell that I needed to decompress over whatever war I’d gone through with my Mother...you know me, Lloyd. You know me better than anyone else ever has, and you’ll always know me better than anyone else ever will.”

“Tell me we can make this work,” he begs softly, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I really want us to, and you’re right. You’re 100% right. If Travis weren’t in the picture, I would be able to keep continuing to stomach it and look the other way, but I can’t anymore. I love him too much- “

“You don’t think I do too?!”

“I never said that. I know you do, Lloyd-”

“Then why can’t you just trust-”

“Lloyd we’ve almost lost him twice. Something’s gotta give, Huckleberry. I can’t live in the constant state of fear and anxiety. I love you, but I can’t do it anymore. It’s not fair to Travis and it’s not fair to me.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Lloyd, you always-”

“Hummingbird, I will figure this out. Just...please,” he begs softly.

You look up into his eyes and you can tell that he means everything he’s saying. There’s still a part of you that’s telling you, you two should just stop now and save each from more battle wounds, but there’s also a bigger part of you that you and Lloyd aren’t finished yet and never will be.

“Lloyd, I’m done with the arguing, the back and forth, and you’ve gotta keep your shit together around Travis. Even if you and I are having an argument.”

“I swear.”

“Lloyd, I fucking mean it. I can’t keep being the only who gives while you just take-”

“Hummingbird, I swear, shit is gonna change. But don’t...”

His heavy sigh lets you know that he’s at war with himself about what he’s going to say.

“Jesus...I love you, Y/N. I will never stop and you’re my world. You and Travis...don’t say yes to me if this isn’t what you truly want. It was different before, and I get that. What I did, what you saw me do...if you want to leave, if you don’t truly want this anymore....Hummingbird...this is your out, cause if you say you’re staying then this is it. There’s no leaving, breaking up, time apart, separating...this is it, Hummingbird. If you want to end it all for good, you need to say so now,” he tells you sincerely.

A small smile tugs at your lips as you cup his face, “that is a hell of thing for you to say to me.”

Instantly, Lloyd picking you up, forcing your legs around his waist, and running towards the stairs as you burst out laughing.

“Lloyd! I have to make dinner!” you squeal as he effortlessly runs up the steps.

“Fuck dinner, What I want is right between those fucking perfect legs of yours!”

“Lloyd!”

“We’re in for a long night, Mrs. Hansen.”

As you and Lloyd keep each other up, getting lost in each other repeatedly and almost breaking the damn bed (again), an oddly calming feeling that you’ve never with him before. Yes, you’ve been in love with him forever, but there’s always been a sense of dread and stress in the back of your mind. It’s obviously never been enough for you to walk away, but it’s been enough to always make you wonder what exactly is wrong with you to stay in a relationship a very obvious sociopath.

However, as you two finally get back into the kitchen and you start on dinner as he goes over what he wants for wedding number two, something tells you that it’s gonna work out this time. You don’t know what it is, you don’t wanna think too much on what it could be, but you’ve felt this at ease before and you know it’s gonna be okay.

For the first time in a very long time, you know things are finally go the way they’re supposed to go.

**

4 Months Later...

“Where is he?!” you asked frantically as you made your into the frat house, seeing two guys with bloodied (and you’re assuming broken) noses, and one guy laid out with a black eye.

“In the game room, drunk as fuck,” Denny mumbled as he gave one of the guys an ice pack.

“What the hell happened?!”

“I don’t know, Y/N. You know how he is. Lloyd is a fucking time bomb. One second, he’s fine and the next...”

“Why has no one ever fucking considered putting him on meds?!”

“I thought you met his parents three months ago?”

“Something had to trigger it though. What happened leading up to this brawl to end all brawls?” you scowled as you looked around the room.

There was one broken coffee table, multiple broken lamps, a shattered fish tank, a couple of broken chairs, a few destroyed pillows, and a broken desk.

You left him alone for two fucking days.

“I honestly don’t know. There was some fucking movie on...’Tombstone’, I think? I don’t know, it was on when I got here, anyway, there was some fucking scene with Doc Holliday in the hospital and his girl wasn’t there with him and Tim said “that goes to show that none of these bitches stick around when it gets tough.” Lloyd just lost it.”

“Fuck, I’ll take care of this-”

“Y/N, he’s not in a good mindset at all. Leave him alone.”

“I can handle him, Denny. You just make sure no one presses charges,” you told him softly before you made your way into the game room.

You took a deep breath before you closed the door behind you.

“What the fuck do you want?!” Lloyd slurred once his attention was on you, “don’t you have to go and study or some shit?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! It’s 2pm on a fucking Sunday!”

“I haven’t heard from you in two fucking days!”

“No, you haven’t seen me in two fucking days! Lloyd-”

“You’re gonna leave and I don’t need to deal with that shit, so, fuck you!”

“Lloyd, I swear to Christ-”

“You have no fucking reason to stay! Why? Because I killed some piece of shit for you?!”

“Lower your fucking voice, you idiot!” you snapped in a hushed tone as you made your way deeper into the room.

“What fucking reason do you have-”

“I just fucking told you I love you!”

“Two days ago and then you fucking disappeared on me-”

“I didn’t fucking disappear! I’m not you! I can’t just do whatever the hell I want because I’m on my parent’s money! I have to keep my grades up and study! I can’t be with you every fucking five seconds, because you need to be fucking babied!”

“You’re so full of shit!”

“Lloyd, I swear to God-”

“There’s something wrong with me, Hummingbird! What fucking reason do you have to stay with me?! What’s keeping you here?!”

“You,” you answered simply.

“Y/N-”

“Lloyd, I didn’t tell you I love you because you said it first. I said it because I meant it and I still do now. You don’t think I see the issues and the flaws? Of course I do. I saw them that night, but I still came back, didn’t I? I love you. For as flawed and fucked up as this all is, I still love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Doc Holliday’s wife-”

“It’s a fucking movie, Lloyd.”

“Based on real life!”

“Yeah, but you’re not Doc Holliday and I’m not Kate. I love you.”

“You’re gonna fucking leave.”

“Do you plan on fucking cheating on me?”

“You know that you’re the only for me.”

“Then we’ll be fine, because I feel the same about you. I love you and I’m in this. Yeah, you’re fucked up, but...I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. No one is perfect and this life isn’t some cookie cutter bullshit. I just know that how we feel about each other is real and it’s too fucking late for me to walk away because you’re unhinged.”

“Hummingbird-”

“I’m all in, Huckleberry, are you?”

“You’re just gonna push me to the side when all of this becomes too much for you.”

“That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me,” you smiled softly at him.

In no time at all, Lloyd picked up and placed you on the pool table, and kissed you passionately.

“Not here,” you giggled as he kissed down your jawline, “someone could walk in!”

“Then they’re welcome for giving them the best porno they’ll ever see,” he growled against your neck before biting down on it.

How did that whole situation feel like a lifetime ago?

“Why the hell did we invite both of our families over?” Lloyd whines as he makes his way into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you put the last layer of lasagna together.

“Because this is officially our new home, Travis has been doing really good with his homeschooling, you two have been getting along really well, we’ve been getting along really well, the wedding is back on track...I don’t know, it just felt like the thing to do,” you shrug, a smirk tugging at your lips.

“What are you not telling me, Hummingbird?”

“Now, why would you think I’m not telling you something?”

“Because I know that look and you’re keeping a secret.”

“How dare you say such a thing?”

“Hummingbird,” he growls into your neck as he grips your hips tight, “remember what happened the last time you tried to keep it a secret from me?”

“Daddy, you need to behave,” you moan, trying to ignore the arousal pooling between your legs.

“You ended up pregnant with Travis.”

“Both of our families are here, so you need to be on your best-”

“Dad,” Travis calls, clearly annoyed as he enters the kitchen.

“What,” Lloyd groans as buries his face into the crook of your neck and you start cracking up.

“Please come out here and break up this argument.”

“What the fuck-”

“Lloyd!” you snap.

“What the hell is going on out there?”

“Gran and Nana are about to kill each other.”

“Which means my Mother is about to kill your Mother,” you mumble and Lloyd scowls.

“How is it, that both of our Fathers are here, and I still have to deal with this shit?”

“This is our present for not calling off the wedding. Go handle it.”

“Yeah fine, but we’re not done talking about this,” he warns before slapping your ass, letting go of you, and making himself a drink. “You,” he shoots towards Travis, “what did you try and do to resolve the issue?”

“I asked which one of them wanted to take me to that amusement park in Paris you told me about,” Travis shrugs and you almost fell over laughing.

He’s a Hansen indeed.

“Jesus Christ, you’re coming with me to resolve this shit.”

“OH MY GOD, LLOYD!”

“He’ll be fine,” Lloyd smirks, as Travis chuckles before he walks off. “You know, this could’ve just been you, me, Travis, and Denny.”

“GO!” you scold with a laugh.

You’re quick to flip Lloyd off and laughs before walking out after Travis, and shake your head as a soft smile plays on your lips, and you resume finishing up the lasagna.

“Hummingbird,” Lloyd calls softly as he pokes his head back into the kitchen.

“Yes, Huckleberry?” you answer absentmindedly, as you open the oven.

“I love you.” Your eyes well up as you look up and meet his gaze, heart bursting at the innocent smile on his face, “I love you.”

He gives you a small wink, before going back and dealing with the chaos that is the both of your families.  

Once the lasagna is in the oven, you lean back against the counter and think about that night in his frat house. The night where he was convinced that you would leave him, because there was no reason to stay, and a small smile came to your face. No, not because of how much he claimed to have needed you (in a way), but because of how far you two had come. Yeah, it’s been ugly and bumpy at times, but you two made your way back to each other.

A few weeks after you two got back, he tried to convince you that the two of you didn’t need therapy anymore, because the trip had gone so well. However, the look in your eyes let him know that he wasn’t get anywhere near close to winning that argument.

He’s gotten better at spending time with Travis, he does his best to not come home from work in a bad mood because he’s still doing paperwork (however, it’s still being worked on), he’s hands on with Travis and his school work, and he’s even started volunteering to be the coach of Travis’ football team.

You two have finally become the couple you always dreamt you’d be. You two are meant to be...for the most part.

“Someone seems pretty fucking proud of herself,” Denny chuckles as he makes his way into the kitchen, and you roll your eyes. “I just want you to know that I officially think you’re crazier than Lloyd, why the fuck would you have both you families here at the same time?”

“It just felt like it was time,” you mumble, “thanks for the house, by the way.”

“No problem. What did you feel like it was time for?”

“Denny-”

“I’m really proud of you two. Mainly, I’m proud of you for making that stubborn jackass see that it’s okay to have a soft side.”

“He’ll kill you if he ever finds out you said that. You know that right?”

“After all the shit I’ve saved his ass from, he’ll be fine. How are you managing both your families here with no wine or cigarettes?”

“Close your eyes and hold your breath long enough, it all just sounds like background noise.”

“It’s just funny to me, because the last time you did something like this-”

“MOTHER, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” Lloyd roars, and you can already tell this is about to get ugly.

“Oh, what the fuck is it now?” you whine as you and Denny make your way outside.

The scene in front of you makes your blood boil in almost an instant. The hors d’oeuvres you made are all over the table and the ground, there are broken wine glasses, Travis is sulking at the end of the table, Lloyd is covered in wine, and they’re two broken plates on the ground.

“What the fuck is going on?!” you scream, thankful that Denny is there to hold you back from lunging at...anyone, honestly.

“Y/N, watch your mouth in front of-”

“No!” you instantly snap at your Mother, as Lloyd quickly makes his way to your side, “you all are ruining my family’s home and I want answers! What the hell is the matter with all of you?! And why didn’t you two do anything to stop it?!” you snap at both and Lloyd’s Fathers.

“She started it!” Stef, Lloyd’s Mother yells, causing your Mother to throw a fork at her in response.

“MOM!”

“Travis wanted to come and see me while you two were away, and she wouldn’t allow it!”

“You don’t let him have any fun!”

“There’s no structure in your household! Look at how your son turned out!”

“I’m sorry, doesn’t your daughter live off of my son?!”

“Sure, that’s why your son defended me instead of his own Mother!”

“Oh my GOD! THE BOTH OF YOU NEED TO SHUT UP!” you yell, contemplating throwing something at the both of them. “Travis, are you okay?”

“Just another lovely family gathering,” he mutters with a shrug, and it breaks your heart.

“Listen, I am only going to say this once, so everyone listen closely. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with everyone and, at this point, I frankly don’t give a damn. Lloyd and I have been together long enough that, whatever petty bullshit you all have against each other should be over and dealt with by now!”

“You knew what you were signing up for when we all first met for the first time,” Lloyd’s father, Robert, laughs as he picks up his scotch and takes a sip of it.

You don’t even think about it, you just take off one of your flip-flops and throw it a him, hitting him directly in the head as Lloyd tries to stifle his laughter.

“Now,” you continue as you glare at Robert, “whatever issues Lloyd and I had in the past are our issues. Whatever issues we may or may not have in the future will be ours to deal with. All of this petty arguing ends now! I put a nice fucking dinner together to announce to all of you that I’m two months pregnant, and this is how you all act?!”

“I knew you were pregnant!” Denny exclaims and you glare at him. “What? I did. That’s the only reason you would be around all of these people with a drink or cigarettes,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes.

“Anyway,” you begin again, “YOU’RE ALL FUCKING ADULTS! GROW UP AND ACT LIKE IT!” you snip and you hear a small gasp leave Lloyd lips. “I let you all act like this when Travis was born and raised him around this, but I’m not making that mistake again! Get your shit together or forget about coming to the wedding, and forget about being apart of Travis’ and this unborn child’s life! I’m so sick and tired of having to referee grown ass people! Now, clean all of this shit up!” you snap before getting out of Lloyd’s hold and turning around and making your way back inside. “You come into our house, throw around food I took forever to make, and break our shit?! ACT LIKE YOU’VE GOT SOME DAMN SENSE!” you scream as you make your way upstairs, limping slightly since you’re only wearing one shoe.

No, you probably shouldn’t have yelled at a room of adults, but you’ve had enough. You and Lloyd have been through the lowest levels of hell and back, and are finally in a good place, and for whatever reason they can’t seem to figure their shit out.

You sit down and lay back on the bed, pulling Lloyd’s pillow close and taking in his scent, before letting out a loud sigh.

You can’t say that you’re all that surprised.

“I’m sorry, your Mom said what to Mrs. Hansen?!” Tina exclaimed as she plopped down next to you on your dorm room bed.

“Tina-”

“I’m sorry, but this is the most chaotic meeting of parents I’ve ever heard! What the fuck?!”

“God, it went so bad so fast.”

“Okay wait, start from the beginning.”

“Alright, I told my parents a week ago that Lloyd and I started dating, and my Mom was immediately pissed, because she remembered him and his family from High School, and hated them. So, she was already unwilling to give them a chance, but my Dad talked her into it. Somehow, the fact that Lloyd and his family said that it was their treat made it worse and-”

“Why didn’t you tell him no?! You know how prideful your Mother is!”

“I did, but he insisted! He really wanted to do it, because he really wanted to make a good impression on them, and he was set on it, so I didn’t really have much of a choice. Anyway, after a lot of back and forth, everyone finally agreed to give him a fair chance. So, as per their choice, we all met up at that place Toscano-”

“Harvard Square?! I’ve always wanted to go there!”

“Yeah well, it only seemed to make things worse, because the moment my Mother saw the place she rolled her eyes and scowled.”

“Ah shit.”

“Exactly. Now, in Lloyd’s defense, he really did try to make up for his parents...rudeness,” you muttered as you rolled your eyes. “He just wanted to show my parents that I’m with someone who can take care of me. Anyway, the more Lloyd’s Mother drank, the more disrespectful she became. The more my Mom, the more fed up she got. Then, Lloyd’s Mom said something about how my Mom should’ve gone shopping with her for better shoes to go with her outfit, and it just...it went so bad so fast. Things were said, food was thrown, drinks were tossed, glasses got broken, and eventually the cops showed up.”

“Oh my God,” Tina gasped as she covered her mouth.

“That’s when my Mom called Lloyd’s Mom a low-class vapid baby making machine, who’s gonna end up used up and alone.”

“Holy shit!”

“God, it was so embarrassing. Lloyd paid for all the food, including what didn’t get brought out of the kitchen, and over tipped literally everyone who was working there, while his Father paid for all the damages and told him he’d pay for any upgrades they’d ever wanna make to the place. It’s amazing that we weren’t banned from the place, but I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to go back in there.”

“Jesus. What did Lloyd say?”

“Well, he screamed at both of his parents, I couldn’t even look at mine, and then he just apologized the entire time he drove us back to campus. He’s convinced I’m gonna break up with him, but I don’t know why the hell he’d wanna stay with me.”

“Well, why do you wanna stay with him? If his parents are this terrible, and he’s so terrible-”

“He’s not his parents, Tina. I don’t know, once he puts his ego aside, he’s really not that bad.”

“Babe-”

“Tina, look who you’re talking to. I know how terrible he is. How terrible he can be, but I love him. I know it’s probably not in my best interest, and there’s no way for me to try and explain it, but I’m in love with him and he’s in love with me. Maybe it’ll all fizzle out and maybe it’ll last forever, but for now, we’re determined to be together and make it work.”

“And your families?”

“We’ll figure it out along the way,” you shrugged.

You wipe your eyes at the memory, missing how simple all of it you used to be. Sometimes, you really miss Tina.

“I can hear those wheels turning a mile away,” Lloyd chuckles as he stands in the doorway. “You okay?”

“How’s your Dad?” you ask, closing your eyes and rubbing your temples.

“He’s fine. Shocked, but he’s fine. I think my parents are rightfully afraid of you.”

“It’s about fucking time,” you scoff as Lloyd takes a seat beside you on your side of the bed.

“How are you and our child?” he asks with a smirk.

“Hungry and grumpy,” you pout as you sit up. “I’m sorry, I just wanted us to have something nice. Everything’s been going so well, therapy finally feels like it’s getting us on path to a better future, the wedding is coming along great...I just wanted us to have a nice moment as a family, because it’s been so long since we’ve all been together for a good reason. Even when we had our first big dinner after Travis completed therapy, that was a shit show too. I just...I wanted something nice for a change. I made everyone’s favorite snacks, the lasagna that you and Travis love, I got everyone’s favorite drinks...just for them to shit on it like they always do. I’m sorry. Thanks for defending my Mom by the way.”

“It’s fine, and your Mom was right. My Mother was being a bitch, I’m done letting her disrespect your Mother like that. Besides, it’s honestly been long overdue for you to throw something at my Dad,” he smirks and you let out a small laugh. “I do have a surprise for you, though.”

“You kicked everyone out?”

“I’m afraid it’s not that great but,” he smiles, “I think it’s a pretty great second place. I’m going to train the new hires of the private sector.’ “...what?”

“I won’t be doing paperwork that drives me insane every fucking day, I’ll be home at a time that’ll make you happy daily, no more missions or trips, and I won’t be so damn irritable all the fucking time. Yeah, I’ll be teaching these shitheads torture on actual prisoners, but there will be no blow back. I come in, I train, I come home.”

“Lloyd, please don’t fuck with me,” you beg as your eyes start to water.

“Hummingbird, I told you that I’m gonna make changes, and I meant it. I want to give you and Travis the world, and I know that a huge part of that has to do with this damn job. No, I’m not leaving it all together, but I’m keeping all of us out of harms way.”

“Lloyd...”

“I love you, Y/N, and I’m not losing you again. I’m done being difficult, I’m done causing arguments over things that are obviously my fault, I’ll get better with controlling my temper around Travis-”

“And your language.”

“Hummingbird, it’s one or the other, I’m not perfect,” he tells knowingly and you roll your eyes. “The point is, I was serious about being and doing better for Travis. We’re going to be the family you’ve always wanted and I’m gonna do my best to keep being the man you’ve always been able to rely on. I love you,” he smiles at you.

You practically knock him over with the hug you give him, and he chuckles into the crook of your neck as he hugs you back.

“Relax you, you’re carrying my child,” he teases as you two break apart, and you flip him off before drying your eyes. “Do you know what it’s gonna be?”

“Uh huh,” you smile excitedly as you nod your head.

“Seriously? We’re having a girl?!”

“One of each, just like you’ve always wanted,” you laugh.

This time, he almost knocks you over.

“Please stop,” Travis groans as he makes his way into the bedroom, and both you and Lloyd as you break apart and look at him. “I’m gonna have a little sister?” he asks, small smile tugging at his lips as he gets on the bed from Lloyd’s side.

“That’s right, so get ready to defend her against all these little assholes running around,” Lloyd smirks and Travis laughs.

“Lloyd, at least when I’m around, please,” you whine.

“Are you sure you two are gonna be together forever this time? Cause they’re all downstairs agreeing that this isn’t gonna work, and Uncle Denny is drinking and watching sports highlights,” he sighs while laying his head on your shoulder.

“Of course those assholes want us to fall apart...again,” you scowl.

“Now who needs to watch her mouth,” Lloyd quips with a smug smirk, and you stick your tongue out at him.

“Guys,” Travis groans.

“I’m positive we’re gonna stay together, Trav,” Lloyd smiles at him reassuringly.

“How are you so sure?”

“Because,” he shrugs as his gaze falls on you, “a Huckleberry is nothing without his Hummingbird.

~~

taglist: @maroonsunrise83​, @autumnrose40​, @fuckingbye​, @companionjones​, @emerald-evans​, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​, @mazda098​, @pono-pura-vida​, @nomadstucky​

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic #Lloyd Hansen fic #lloyd hansen smut #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x y/n #The Grey Man #the gray man fanfiction #the gray man fanfic #chris evans characters #lloyd hansen x you #Lloyd HansenxReader #Lloyd Hansen fanfic #Lloyd Hansen fanfiction

[jamneuromain]

I have an idea omg. We need more of Lloyd and reader... What about a situation when Lloyd got injured, like he kicked someone's ass , got his knuckles bleeding, or maybe he got a cut or smth... and the reader though she's aware of her blood-seeing problem ofc decided to help him, trying to fight her hemophobia best she could because Lloyd needed her help. Or it can be quite the opposite, the reader got hurt in some way, bleeding a bit, and Lloyd decided to help her because he knows her reaction to seeing blood and all. What do you think?😬☺

Hi Elena😌❤️ （sorry that it took so long I accidentally deleted my draft ... and took very long to recover from the devastating fact :l

Your "Lloyd got hurt" idea certainly is very interesting....👀

So, what would happen if Lloyd got hurt and he has no one else to turn to but his secretary with hemophobia...🤔

Bleed Out

Lloyd Hansen x You

Warning: Mob AU, Mob!Lloyd, Secretary!Reader (Driver!Denny Carmicheal), Graphic Depiction of Blood and Violence (I guess Lloyd is a warning of his own?), Reader has hemophobia (fear of blood), a lot of cursing.

Summary: Lloyd is under your protection for now.

A/N: This is the sequel to A Whiff of Blood, Thank you for all your love to Mob!Lloyd<333

One thing, one particular feature you like about the apartment you're living in, is that this little condo - along with the rest of the building and five other blocks in the vicinity, belongs to a high-end resident community that has strict security guard patrol schedules and limited key-card access. These precautions resulted in rocket-high market prices and a rather wealthy neighborhood, as the owner of these buildings forbids renting, for every keycard that could access the front gate, elevators, and their matching apartments, accompanied by facial recognition embedded in the little chip. When you get home every night (or afternoon, if you are lucky), you have to press your keycard and stand before the camera before the gate grants you inside. This brings quite some comfort for you, working for a mob boss named Lloyd Hansen, and knowing that his associates are basically "wanted" by rival gangs for the valuable information they possess.

While it is impossible that you could afford such an exquisite apartment with your salary, though very well-paid, you are truly grateful because Lloyd signed this condo - his condo - to you without a word (or asking a dime from you) when you told him during your final interview that you will be needing a week to relocate before starting the job.

That's when you made up your mind that Lloyd Hansen is a boss worthy to work for.

It's not a big place. Having two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen. Decorated in white, black, and grey, clearly matching Lloyd's taste when he asked his lawyer to give you the key card and have you move in.

You've lived here for three years now. Adding soft cushions and light-colored sets to the tedious design here and there. Like the sunflower tablecloth and daisy plates and bowls. Like the pink polka dot sheets and duvet covers. And the fluffy slippers, taken out from the cabinets, ready to be put on as soon as fuzzy socks don't work their magic any more.

You are finishing washing the mug you just used. After putting it on the racks, you wipe your hands with a clean cloth. It is a workday tomorrow, and you intend to sleep early to wake up with a fresh spirit to deal with your (sometimes) moody boss. Treating yourself to a nice little read in the bedside lamp radiating yellow glow - another decoration that you feel much needed for this place, you reach out to turn off the lamp when there's a sudden rush of knock on your door.

You zip your mouth shut.

The news two weeks ago, about a woman who was curious about the baby crying at her door, was yanked out of her apartment as soon as she opened the door, being raped and killed in her own bed.

You are smart enough not to ask "Who is it", letting this unexpected guest learn that a young female is at home.

When the unexpected visitor doesn't hear your reply, they knock on the door more fiercely, nearly knocking your heart out of your throat.

You remember the tutorial online: Approach the door with caution, and check the surveillance camera. If there's no one in sight, call the cops. If there's anything out of the ordinary, like a baby or a kitten by the door, call the cops.

In summary, call the cops.

Your fingers hover above your phone, having the police number on speed dial, when you turn on the surveillance camera monitor by the door.

A very bruised, cut, and tired Lloyd, having a gun in his hand, banging on your door as he winces in pain.

"Goodness gracious-" Your gasp gets stuck in your throat. Opening the door in an instant, there's nothing else in your mind than keeping him alive. Your goosebumps on high alert as Lloyd's eyes scan over you. You pull him in, checking that the hallway is secure, before closing the heavy door as quietly as possible.

You turn to him, "Mr. Han-" Your words stop mid-sentence as you feel the need to fight the bile down your throat.

Yes. Mr. Hansen is very much covered in the one thing you hate most in the world.

Blood.

Blood splattered on his chest, his ridiculous choice of the blue-white striped polo shirt and cuts littered over his face and bare arms. His pants are dripping. Some crimson-colored liquid will stick permanently onto your floor and your beloved carpet.

Redness, some stained into near-brown, all over his figure.

You hold your breath, not letting the iron taste linger to make matters worse.

Lloyd walks, more like limps to each of your rooms - now that you can breathe a little while the blood smell is gone temporarily, and convince yourself that it's just ketchup on your boss (though you doubt that trick works) - and inspects each of them with his finger on the gun's trigger.

Taking in the whole situation, three things pop into your mind.

Lloyd is in desperate need of medical attention.

You are most likely to faint as soon as he returns, seeing this amount of blood.

Lloyd wouldn't knock on your door if this isn't desperate for him as well.

As Lloyd approaches, you are wrecking every brain cell to work a way out of this.

" 'S anyone here?" He asks, pulling the safe of his gun back on, before plopping down on your couch and groaning because he most definitely pulls one or two, if not a few of his wounds.

However, one of THE most brilliant ideas comes to you when you are holding your breath.

You shake your head, raising one finger to tell him you need a moment - or you hope that your running off conveys the message, and dash towards your bathroom.

Lloyd sags down on the couch, not even bothering to get up or turn his head to watch whether you've pulled out a gun pointing at him. You probably wouldn't do so, since you chose to pull him in, instead of letting him bleed out by your door.

When you appear in front of him again, his body briefly stuns a moment, before emerging in a burst of full-blown laughter. He laughs so hard that his laughter turns into coughs, which leads to him pressing his hand over his chest in case he tears his wounds further.

You place your hands on your hips. Compared to him, you are least amused by your idea.

You smoothed your hair back and put on your scuba diving goggles from a paid leave last year. Lloyd personally oversaw your two-week vacation, paying from your hotel suite to your travel expenses, and even ordering you full scuba diving equipment for your one-hour scuba lesson.

Of course, you weren't actually interested in becoming an expert, but the scuba equipment was too nice to be thrown away.

"Not funny." You breathe through your mouth. Even though the orange plastic - or glass, you don't quite know which - changes how the bloody Lloyd looks in your eyes, it still doesn't completely change the idea that Lloyd is, in fact, covered in blood, as much as you don't want to think about it. And it definitely doesn't block the smell of blood, which probes the nerves at the back of your nose whenever you breathe through your mouth.

Lloyd scans your "outfit", his laughter slowly dials down, eventually turns into a lazy smile ghosting his lips, "You're right. It's not."

It's over 10:30 pm, and you usually would have been sleeping, or lying on your bed, at least. But no, you are stuck in the living room with your boss who's about to die any minute, and you are only able to stand in front of him, alive and thinking, with a fucking scuba mask on.

So, fuck this.

You roll your eyes at your cold-blooded boss. "Should I call your doctor? Or send you to the hospital?"

The smirk disappears.

Although he didn't say "no" to the hospital, by now you've realized the hospital choice was crossed off the board, as he chose you instead of ringing the police - which will no doubt lead to an investigation since Lloyd is the most notorious mob in Los Angles.

You search for the first aid bag that you stocked away when you moved in. It has rarely been used.

"Doc's dead." He murmurs, but loud enough for you to understand. He spoke with a sadness that only appears when he has lost one of his people. "I took Jared to his clinic."

You know Jared, he is one of the muscles working for Lloyd. He helped take care of one of Lloyd's rivals, Brewer.

"The deal with the Russian mobs tonight went wrong, but we got out in one piece." Lloyd explains curtly, "I got him to Doc's place to get stitched up. But we were attacked... Doc died, so did Jared."

So... two of his people.

Medical alcohol and Q-tips were picked from the bag, then a roll of gauze. You place those on the coffee table.

"I think you need something bigger than a Q-tip." He chuckles, unbuckling his belt, removing his pants. You open your mouth wanting to argue it's probably best that he doesn't move right now, but you silence yourself when you see a flesh wound -

Blood trickles down his thigh, leaving a scorched round hole on his leg. You turn your head to the other side as soon you feel the need to hurl. Even with your goggles on, deep down, you know that it's blood, not ketchup, nor some red paint oozing from his body.

“Don’t puke on my shoes. Crocodiles died for it.” A strangled grunt comes out of his mouth when he finished speaking, having your heart tug in the slightest of agony.

The belt he took off just now is turned into an instant tourniquet on his thigh. The blood drips slower than it did, but it keeps ruining your carpet.

“Yeah, I bet the crocodile spirits hate you right now.” You mutter under your breath, snatching a face mask from the first-aid kit, taking a small inhale after you put it over your face.

Much, much better now.

Lloyd snorts out a short laugh, “You look like one of those bird-man in the Middle Ages when they are battling the plague.”

“Yeah well,” You place your hand on your hips, feeling somewhat braver to deal with this bloody mess all over your living room, “You’re about to bleed out on my couch, so let’s start with you telling me what else I can help with.”

Lloyd spares a glance at you when he’s busy rolling the gauze and pressing it onto his gunshot wound, his expression uninterpretable. Though you would guess that he is mildly impressed.

“Got any liquor? Something strong?” He raises his brows almost challengingly, “I don’t see any painkillers here, so … Bourbon? Whiskey? Scotch? Anything?”

You do have a bottle of whiskey that your cousin gave to you when you moved in. He’d come to visit and lend a helping hand from time to time. You take two glasses from the cupboard and half a bottle of whiskey.

You could use some liquid courage with a murder scene and your psycho boss in the middle of this lovely condo.

With the aid of whiskey and your patching and cleaning of the rest of the wounds, Lloyd is able to sleep through the night soundly without worrying about being a rigid corpse in the morning.

Yawning, and accidentally stretching his patched-up wounds, he allows a string of curses to flow out of his lips. Judging by the sunlight peeking through your curtains, he’d say it’s 9 or 10 in the morning. Last night, he was tired when the adrenaline gradually faded away, and he did not have the chance to take a close look at your – used to be his – place.

You did not put this place through any major changes, just some minor traces, reminding him that he is, in a sense, invading this cozy little apartment with his banged-up body.

With a decent set of fresh suit, shirt, and tie on the chair beside the bed.

Faint murmurs come from the other side of the door, Lloyd tenses up immediately, pulling his gun under the pillow, where he stocked last night, and turns the doorknob slowly.

“… shut up.” He hears you smack someone’s arm jokingly.

Your voice blends in with the voice in his memory of last night, when he winced in pain as you tried to take out glass shards from his forehead with a pair of tweezers, when he swung another gulp of whiskey from the bottle.

“Fucking hell, woman, I swear you’re trying to scoop my brains out rather than finding the glass pieces.” He grumbled.

“You’re lucky I didn’t kick you out, Mr. Hansen. Now I’m kindly asking you to shut up so I can take care of your wounds before it could get any worse.” You said impatiently, having struggled between the discomfort in your stomach and your determination to get him patched up, but adjusted your attitude soon after, keeping your mouth shut and pushing his upper body so he would lean on the couch and be still, while you turned on the flashlight to search the little glass piece on his forehead.

The warm and shallow breath fell on the ridge of his nose. It was broken, sure, tingling and itching, but it also meant that you were close, close enough to kiss-

“Cuz, are you sure that-”

The male voice is cut off when Lloyd in a black suit appears in front of you and a young man. One of his hands behind his back, you know far too well he’s holding the gun and will shoot your cousin’s brain out if you don’t explain quickly.

“Morning Mr. Hansen. This is my cousin, Connor Ashborne, studying at UCLA Med School.” You smile politely towards your boss, “I called for him to check up on you, since you refused to go to any doctor with a gunshot wound. He’s here to provide professional medical assistance.”

“Mr. Hansen,” the young man extends his hand for Lloyd to shake, “I’ve heard of a lot of things about you.”

“Lots of bad things, I hope.” Lloyd throws in a comment half-sarcastically, plopping himself down on the couch, ignoring your cousin’s extending hand, “Shit.” When he stretches his wounds again, the gauze must have clotted with his flesh for this level of pain.

“Cuz?” Conner turns his choice to your hand, “It’s your call. I can’t force your boss to do anything.”

“Yeah, me neither.” You mutter, “He’s more stubborn than a bull with eyes on the red flag.”

“Careful there, sunshine.” Lloyd gulps down some whiskey, numbing the pain in his thigh, “I can hear ya’ loud and clear.”

You silently shrugged towards your cousin, letting him know that you could not be of help any more than he did. “You should probably head to your classes.” You speak softly towards Connor, “Say hi to your sister for me, will you?”

“Sure thing, cuz. Remember those antibiotics and pain meds for the... patient in the kit.” He pulls you into a hug, “No need to thank me, I know, I'm one of a kind.”

Yeah, he's a one-of-a-kind dick when he wants to be. You can't help but smile knowing that his ego bloated after coming to your aid.

“I’ll see you around Christmas, yeah?”He asks.

“Around Christmas.” You confirm, patting his back.

Connor shoots you a wink and a “Bye, cuz”, grabbing the bicycle helmet on the kitchen counter and rushing out of your apartment like a gust of wind.

"A-hem." Lloyd clears his throat.

You let out a long exhale, realizing the big problem-o is still sitting on the couch like he owns this place – he indeed still does, as you have helped combing through his real estate. He owns the whole residential community – more specifically, has a lot of shares in the company which runs this residence, at the very least. Putting your best, and most professional courtesy on, you ask Lloyd, “I’ve called Denny earlier this morning. He’s now driving around the block. Denny has driven to your place and picked up the usual breakfast from your cook. Should I call him and tell him to come up? Or you’d like to head to the office right now?”

“Tell him to come up. I’ve been shot. It seems fair to skip work this morning.” Lloyd has the usual smug smile on his face. Stepping into his crocodile shoes onto the floor, spreading his arms over the couch, he looks down at the ground before narrowing his eyes and raising a sharp question: “You’ve had the carpet thrown out?”

Of course, you’ve had the carpet thrown out. Or you would throw up five times per hour.

You thought so when carrying the blood-soaked carpet downstairs, after making sure Lloyd was asleep around midnight. As his secretary, it is your job to make sure he doesn’t have to worry about anything besides his business.

You carried the carpet downstairs, avoiding cameras as carefully as possible, with your ridiculous scuba goggles and face mask on, and dumped the carpet, into another residence trash can two blocks further. With his blood and his scent on it, it is easy to lure those henchmen away if they bring hounds to search for Lloyd.

Lloyd does not go down without a fight, that you were certain. You were also certain of the fact that the transaction gone wrong would make relative parties involved less than happy, hence the ambush at Doc’s place. If they struck once, it seemed possible that they would strike again, knowing that Lloyd was hurt.

Also packing hydrogen peroxide, a powerful bleach, and a pack of Q-tips with you, you carefully erased the traces of Lloyd’s blood from the street to your residence building, and inside the elevator.

“Miss Y/L/N!” The security guard exclaimed on seeing you back inside the building. He was smart enough not to comment on you pulling your scuba goggles and face mask off, but smiled warmly, “A rough night?”

You smile back, “Hi Henry. I hate to pull ranks on you, Henry, I really do. But in less than ten minutes you are going to get a call from your boss, who has gotten a call from his boss, asking you to do exactly what I tell you to, which is to make a copy of the surveillance footage of the security cameras, and delete the original copy stored in the computers stored somewhere in this building. You are also going to tell me whether anyone has dropped by when your shift ends this morning, who looks suspicious, asking questions even though they don’t live here.”

The smile froze on Henry’s face, “Miss Y/L/N, it’s against the company orders…”

Just then, the phone on Henry’s desk rang, which Henry took the minute it made a sound.

The smile turned to a serious frown.

“…Yes. Yes, Sir. I’ll see to it.” He hung up the phone after a polite “Good night”, straightening his security guard uniform, and moved around the desk, “This way, Ma’am.”

After burying your head in the toilet bowl and throwing up almost half an hour ago, you had used your cell phone and called Lloyd's business partner up ahead, told him that Lloyd had issued a command to erase surveillance camera footage of a specific building and asked to keep a copy.

His business partner, hauled up from his bed because of this phone call in the middle of the night, knew better than to refuse.

… and that was why the Russian mob drove through the block later that morning at 1 a.m. and did not find a trace of Lloyd taking shelter in your condo after circling the area for quite some time.

Taglist (Also tagging those who might be interested): @stargazingfangirl18 @sarahdonald87 @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @magnificentsaladllama @biteofcherry @petalj @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @thezombieprostitute @yiiiikesmish @warriorblu @vonalyn @notathingjustthere @lokislady82 @irishhappiness @toozmanykids @alicedopey @cakesandtom @universitypenguin @openup-yourmind @helenaeisenhower @wilsons-striped-ties @tittittoee @bean-is-reading

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#lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen fluff #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen #the grey man #mob!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen angst

[jophiel-extras]

Sierra Six sewing you up

summary :: Six is treating your wound after an incident

warning :: heavy sexual atmosphere, arousal, blood, diy stitching

note :: doing this for my love of Mr. Gosling

A stirring static pulsed through your leg, the aftermath of a deep slice through the plump flesh of your thigh. The trenched wound leaked blood like a faint waterfall and through the fuz of gunshots and yelling your ears managed to pick up the plunk the red drops made as they hit the floor.

Not a moment after you’d received the deep wound, the world had gone hazy, both your eyes and ears effected by the streaming loss of blood. As the man who sectioned your skin fell before you, you were not a second later scooped up by Six. He had no doubt assessed the situation already, your wound, slow blinks, stumbling figure and was already planning your extraction from the less than safe situation.

Each time you’d slowly drifted into awareness from unconsciousness you had been in a new place. First, you were in Six’s arm, then the backseat of a car and now, being propped up on a bathroom bench. The distant murmuring of Six’s voice had now become clear to you as his hand tightly gripped your light head by the jaw.

“I’ve got to clean it.” He’d stated.

As he crouched to your abdomen, you’d followed his focus onto your leg, dread washing over you as the state of your wide slit suddenly set in. You’d said something incoherent even to yourself before your eyes slipped back into a blurry daze.

Before you could pass out again, a shooting burn seared into your split skin and muscle. You had screamed, now wide awake and surging with adrenaline. Six had poured something into the wound to disinfect it.

Your hands had snapped to the closet object to ground yourself, one being Six’s hand that held your uninjured thigh and the other being the edged of the counter. Your nails dug into his skin but he paid no mind to your weak infliction of pain.

You had gaped for a deep breath, chest rising and falling repetitively as your anxious shallow breaths barely filled your lungs.

Six had already move on from the disinfectant, his thumb and index finger holding a sewing needle and thread dangerously close to your skin. 

“Hold still and take deep breaths.” And without another word for warning he suck the needle into your skin.

“Fuck!” You had cried, back arching at the penetrative pain.

If Six hadn’t been so invested in your recovery he might’ve noticed his head’s close proximity to your crotch, or how your lack of pants (he’d stripped you of for better access to your cut) made that proximity all the more important. He would’ve noticed your death grip on him as you writhed and wailed. Maybe he would’ve thought the way your body glistened with sweat looked gorgeous, or the way you gasped and cried his name got him going.

“Fuck, Six!”

He’d pulled the needle through your skin for the last time, knotting and cutting the thread before rising to your level. “Control your breathing.” You’d complied all too well to his gravelly demanded, your shallow gasps becoming long and filling.

As the situation cooled itself from adrenaline, Six had finally come to notice the tantalising details of your tired face. Cheeks stained with tears, eyes welling with more, eyebrows upturned in a painful plea and the way your skin shined with sweat.

Ignoring the shameful erection that tented his pants, Six aided you in your return to base where you’d get much better medical treatment than he’d be able to give you.

Later he would recount the way you’d screamed and he’d plead to the world that one day he’d be able to make it happen again but in a more preferred setting.

#sierra six #sierra six x reader #six x reader #ryan gosling x reader #the grey man

[shadowkat2000]

Was thinking about how Carmen Farooq-Lane and Mr. Grey should have their own little club where they drink wine and pointedly not talk about their sociopathic older brothers they they killed

#also they can share notes about Ronan since they both know him lolol #just realized how I think they’d get along #trc #the dreamer trilogy #the raven cycle #carmen farooq lane #the grey man #mr grey trc

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unsolicited 17

Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, oral/noncon, coercion, cum, some untagged sexual and dark elements.

Wouldn’t mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜

Masterlist

The cold glass sends a shiver through you as you drag the plastic squeegee in straight lines to give a clear view of the lawn. Snowflakes fall lazily to the ground, sprinkling across the pale green of the frozen grass. The activity is monotonous if not painful as the muscles in your arms strain to reach the highest corner.

Irritated, you keep the clunky heel from slipping over the edge of the step stool. Lloyd’s insistence on the impractical grows irksome as you’re left prone to injury or a chill. You bend to set down the plastic wand, drying your hands with the cloth tucked into your apron as you gaze out across the wintry landscape.

Lloyd sucks his teeth as he interrupts the rare moment of peace and you wince as you peek over at him. The cut on his cheek has calmed, the purplish bruise faded to yellow. He drags his foot forward as he parts from the archway, casually strolling over in a pair of suede slippers and silk pajama pants.

“Don’t move, doll,” he warns as you hover a foot over the step down, “look at these windows. Crystal clear…” he comes up behind you and places his hands on your hips, his warmth seeping through the thin black dress, “feel like I can see the whole world just from here,” his fingers walk down the back of your skirt, “or maybe they can see us.”

He slowly raises the fabric and you shift. The brush of satin makes you shiver as it lets in another flow of cool air up your spine. You hold in a breath as he hums and leans in. All the tension of his previous mood is gone, the last days of tiptoeing through the silence float away.

“Mmm, damn this ass,” he spanks you and pushes your cheeks together. You exhale sharply and wave a hand back at him as you teeter on the stool, “now, now, baby, you know the deal.”

You steady yourself on the stool and stare ahead, “yes, daddy.”

“You’ve been spending too much time keeping this place clean when you should be gettin’ dirty,” he pinches your ass so you squeak, “don’t let me ruin your hard work, doll, I don’t wanna see a single handprint on that glass.

His hands wander down your thighs as he nudges them apart, slipping his fingers between your legs to tease your cunt. You bite your lip as he dips between your folds and presses firmly along your clit. Your thighs clench as your perilous stance has you uncertain, your shoes at the edge of the stool.

“I know you missed me,” he growls as he leans in and his breath fans up the curve of your ass, “you missed this, didn’t you, baby?”

His mustache tickles you as tension strains in your hips. He hums as he nuzzles between your legs and swipes his tongue down your cunt. You bend forward, opening yourself to him as you brace the slender frame between panes. You gasp as his coolness seeps into your warmth.

He purrs as he laps at you, deliberate, slow, winding you up as he rubs you with two fingers. He buries his face in your cunt as he drinks you in, his greediness sending heat across your thighs. Your lashes flutter at the swirling powder outside, your legs trembling against him.

Lloyd shifts, pulling his fingers up to your entrance and sinks into you, your walls squeezing him eagerly. Shame scalds your cheeks but not enough to make you stop him. You know you can’t. He buries his fingers to the knuckle and rocks his hand as the prickly fur of his mustache raises bumps along your skin.

The stool wobbles as he turns his hand to press his thumb to your clit, at the same time he swirls his tongue around your tight ring, his face firmly between your cheeks. Your hand nearly slips onto the spotless glass and you swallow up a moan. The battle of sensations has you quivering and weak.

He pokes his tongue against your ass, flicking up and around, a pressure building around his fingertips as he tilts his hands. Your cunt clings to him, a squelch keeping rhythm as he pushes you to the edge. Your calves ache as you stand further on your toes and the stool slips, your palms smudging the glass as you catch yourself against the window.

He tuts as he pulls away suddenly, leaving you cold and empty as he slides his fingers out of your cunt. He wipes them down your thigh before slapping your ass with his knuckles.

“Bad girl, making a mess,” he frames your hip and guides you backwards, down to solid ground, “let me give you something else to clean up.”

He pulls your hands behind you and walks you up to the window. He crushes your chest against the freezing pane and hooks his fingers around your wrists. Your breath fogs across the glass as he shimmies, his pajamas heaping at his ankles as he steps closer.

He enters you in a single motion, nearly knocking you out of your heels. You groan as he squeezes your wrists in his single hand and bucks, the window shaking perilously in the frame. He thrusts again, snapping his hips hard, a pang striking up your spine as you cry out. His other hand crawls up your arm and around your neck, spreading across your throat as he sets a harsh pace.

Your legs shake as he fucks you, breathing into your scalp with dark growls, pausing between each rut to feel you clench around him. He lets go of your arms and snakes his hand around your pelvis to toy with your clit once more.

“Now, baby, you gonna make a mess of the floor and the windows?” He taunts, “undoing all that hard work…”

You puff as your eyes roll back, the steady twirl of his fingertips robs you of all sense.

“Hmm, you gonna get down on your knees and scrub my floor once you cum all over them,” he snarls, “I’ll just have to fuck you again.”

You murmur as his grip tightens around your throat, your hand bracing the glass without care for the smeared print. You gulp and gasp as he works you expertly, ramming into you as he plays with your clit, pinching it between two fingers only to roll it beneath rough fingertips. 

You grasp his wrist unthinkingly as you feel the swell, your climax building around his dick as he rams deeper and harder. The crack of his pelvis against your ass echoes in the airy room as you arch your back and welcome him deeper. You choke on your voice as you cum, his fingers slickening as your release drips out around him.

“Dirty girl,” he sneers as he bows his head down, lips brushing against your shoulder, “you dirty fucking slut.”

He bites into you as he slams to his limit, crushing you flush to the window as he falls into a furious fit. He fucks you without restraint, choking your moans in his hand, another wave rolling through you. His teeth pinch your flesh and you wheeze against his grasp, quaking as another orgasm peaks.

He growls as your pelvis aches, ready to split in two as he hammers full force against you. You lean your head back and he unclamps his teeth, brushing his mustache up to your jaw. His motion stutters and he slips out, fucking between your thighs as he spasms. He cums down your leg, his load leaking past your knee.

“You still sad, baby face?” He purrs behind your ear, “‘cause I’ll fuck the sad right out of you.”

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #drabble #dark drabble #dark!drabble #series #unsolicited #the gray man #the grey man

[renren-006]

Poloroid |Sierra Six x Reader

Summery: When Six was given the Poloroid that Claire took of him he only had one person in mind to give it too. AS soon as he was done with the job he headed straight home to you.

Word Count: 466

Warning: fluffffff

A/N: hey hey!!! have not written anything for Six/Court in a bit and i thought this was a cute idea to do!! this is a very short little one shot!! hope you enjoy!!!

Six got that polaroid not too long after Claire got out of the hospital. She placed the picture next to his computer. When Court looked up at the girl she gave him a big smile.

“You know i'm really smart for my age” she told him, “i've seen you take only one caller the entire time you've been here” Court glanced down at his phone to see your name pop up. He glanced back up at the girl before he tucked the photo in his pocket and rushed to answer your call.

“Hey hun” you spoke to him over the phone. Your voice was like music to his ears. You were only allowed one phone call a week, per Court telling you so. 

“Hey there doll” he said, the photo burning holes in his pants. “I got a surprise for you when i get home”

“Oh yea? Please tell me it's not another thing for the kitchen. I love you but you don't need to get something new for the house every time you leave for a mission out of the country” you told him, exclaiming loudly over the phone. Court laughed, making not only your heart swell but also Clairs who was sitting on the couch, an ipad in her lap on the lock screen but was content on watching Six on the phone. She'd never seen him this happy, but when she noticed him pull a special photo from his jacket and a lady's face was on it, she knew he wasn't so straight laced and sticked as he had to be on missions. Court got off the phone with you not long after that, promising to be home soon. 

Once the last week was over and he was home to you the photo was in your hands before his bags were even dropped at the door. When you looked down and saw a polaroid of Court you smiled. He looked down at you with loving eyes. 

“Clair took this?” You asked, knowing all about the girl he was looking after. 

“Yea, surprised me the first day with a camera but i didn't get it back till last week after she was out of the hospital” Court told you. When you flipped over the photo a little note was stuck to the back. When you opened the folded piece of paper, it was a letter Claire. 

Dear Six’s lover…I still don't know your name,

I think he loves you. Well, I have a feeling that you two have been together for a long time. It's cute. Please tell him that I will be keeping the gum I stole from him and I hope he doesn't forget about me. He looks like a happy puppy when he's on the phone with you. Don't let him go.

#ryan gosling #I love Ryan Gosling #sierra six #sierra six x reader #sierra six x you #i am so in love with six its not even funny #ryan gosling fanfic #ryan gosling fic #The Grey Man