#the handmaid's tale
I keep on having the same dream where my teacher and I are having a secret affair but my teacher in my dreams is max minghella…
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leonnamc · 4 months ago
can’t believe texas is writing their own handmaid tale’s narrative. they literally just signed a law where you can report women (they’re literally offering CASH BOUNTIES) for having an abortion
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owlmylove · 10 months ago
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PLS watch margaret atwood’s masterclass
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sinnamongirl · 3 months ago
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Lady shared one article that barely even criticized using gender neutral language and now this is the reaction.
Happy peaking
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springbeckons · 5 months ago
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The female gaze.
Agnès Varda in Filming Desire: a journey through women's films // Article on the Portrait of a Lady on Fire by Drew Gregory // Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath // @moonylupinhasdemonpox on tumblr // The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood // Gold Rush by Taylor Swift
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witchmd13 · a year ago
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Some gold advice from Margaret Atwood from her Master Class on creative writing trailer.
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awanqi · 9 months ago
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For Hulu’s #MadeByHer campaign in March 
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deformititties · 10 months ago
I avoid looking down at my body, not so much because it’s shameful or immodest but because I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to look at something that determines me so completely.
The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood
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alinahdee · 5 months ago
Painting Oppression in Whiteface: How The Handmaid's Tale Appropriates Racism Against Black, Indigenous, Women of Color
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swiftedittland · 8 months ago
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do you understand me?
4x07 & 1x03
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television · 4 months ago
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A chair. A table, a lamp. There's a window with white curtains, and the glass is shatterproof. But it isn't running away they're afraid of. A Handmaid wouldn't get far. It's those other escapes. The ones you can open in yourself given a cutting edge. Or a twisted sheet and a chandelier. I try not to think about those escapes. It's harder on ceremony days, but thinking can hurt your chances. My name is Offred. I had another name, but it's forbidden now. So many things are forbidden now.
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narchoe · 5 months ago
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itwasjustmisplaced · 7 months ago
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i love you thank you
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splitscreen · 7 months ago
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rini-descartes · 29 days ago
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"The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you will be free."
— Margaret Atwood
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nickblaine · 7 months ago
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The Eyes will take the prisoner into custody.
THE HANDMAID’S TALE | 4x10 – “The Wilderness”
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nickblaineandjune · 7 months ago
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Nick & June + foreheads
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twentyhoursinstudiosixty · 7 months ago
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deformititties · 9 months ago
But who can remember pain, once it’s over? All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see.
The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood
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nellblazer · 2 months ago
Blessed Be The Fruit - Ch.3 (Dark!Marvel/Handmaid's Tale)
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Series Masterlist
Summary: Is your second day going to be any better?
Warnings: Non-con (traumatic detail), breeding, mentions of domestic violence, manipulation, awkward situations
CHAPTER 3 - My Friend is MJ
*Please do not replicate/rework/translate my work anywhere else without my express permission*
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I can't say I woke up in the Barnes's household feeling hopeful.
It'd taken me a long time to fall asleep and, when I did, I didn't even stay that way for long. I could hear movement in the house, the maids getting things ready for the day and I suppose I should be getting ready too.
The pit of dread I had in my stomach only grew when I remember I'm supposed to go through the ritual again as soon as I'm up. I really don't want to be lying on top of Natasha and she definitely won't interact with me now so I go to the closet and retrieve the bullet vibe I'd been given otherwise I'm going to be a tight, dry disaster later. The last thing I want is to tear something down there to add to the misery.
I hid behind some coats in case someone walked in and went to work on myself a little. I couldn't even think of anything particularly sexy, I was just trying to force my body to have a reaction.
“Ofjames?” there's a rap at the door and I click the bullet off immediately. “It's time. Shower please.”
Natasha's definitely not happy so I don't want to make her wait. At least I've managed to get some wetness between my legs so this won't be an ordeal.
“Hey Ofjames,” Bucky gives a quick smile when I enter the room. “Feeling okay today?”
Nodding was the best I could do as I sat between Natasha's legs, desperately willing myself to relax but all I could feel was the waves of bitterness rolling off of her behind me as she yanked up my skirt with little ceremony.
“Sooner we can get this done, the sooner you can meet your friends,” she seems impatient.
“Nat, honey, I'll do my best to be quick but I can't keep hard if you're gonna look so mad. Why don't you talk to me like that time in Belarus? Pretend Ofjames isn't here if that helps.”
“I...” Natasha falters a little as Bucky lines himself up with me and starts to push in.
Thank fuck I had a little me time earlier. I don't know how I forgot Bucky was so big in less than a day but this was going to take me a long time to get used to if I didn't get pregnant very soon.
Instead of talking, like Bucky had asked, Natasha leaned up, me going with her as I was kinda lying on her chest and she dragged her husband forward. He had to put his hands on the bed to keep from crushing us.
“Nat? What-”
But she's kissing him now. She's kissing him like there isn't a person in between the two of them, like she was the one being fucked and not me.
He responds well to it but I'm being squeezed, caged and I'm trying not to freak out. I felt like nothing more than a flesh light. I guess that's what I was technically with a womb attached but all the stories of handmaids I'd heard of who'd gone through this ritual had actually got more acknowledgement.
I was starting to not be able to draw a full breath as the pressure on my chest and back squashed together and I didn't understand how they couldn't hear my stuttered gasps.
Bucky finishes up quickly inside me and I was nowhere near to having an orgasm so at least Natasha wouldn't cold shoulder me again but she does something odder when she hears her husband's grunt.
“Alright Ofjames. Go to your room and lie down for ten minutes then you can go shopping.”
Bucky slips out of me as I practically flee the room but when I turn around to close the door, I see Natasha has pushed his head between her legs, riding his face and starting to moan obnoxiously.
We make eye contact and it's a very clear sign. A flashing neon sign that says 'He's mine, bitch'.
I don't care. I'm just glad it's over. I feel used and I want to get away from this place.
Not long after that incident I'm out of the front gates and meeting with MJ who's bouncing one foot in agitation.
“Blessed be the whatever,” she throws out if anyone's watching us.
“Praise,” I don't even complete the full sentence. “Let's go.”
We stride away with our shopping bags to the grocery store in a pair and only when we're a good distance away from the Barnes's household does MJ speak freely to me.
“Couldn't help but notice you don't look good,” she turns her whole head because the wimple blocks her peripheral vision. “I told you Natasha was unhinged. It was her right?”
“You could say that,” I try to keep a neutral expression as people walk by us. “She nearly choked me for accidentally cumming and I just went through another round fifteen minutes ago where they nearly suffocated me.”
“I'd tell you to report it because they're not supposed to harm us but Loki and Zemo are yet to be assigned handmaids. I mean sure you could get Quill but it's a big risk to take to go back into the pot. If they're not physically punching or kicking you, ride it out until the shit owners are taken and then say something.”
“They'd just smooth it over with Steve Rogers anyway since they apparently bribed him for me.”
“Steve Rogers got you the Barnes's? Well shit. Way to keep a low profile.”
“Not all of us can have rich friends in high places, MJ.”
“Okay, yeah, that was bitchy of me. Turns out Tony just actually brought Peter to see me and as long as Peter can get me pregnant, they'll take that baby and leave us alone. I have it pretty good so I'll make sure I can find out how to make sure you have it pretty good as well.”
“How's Ofthor doing?”
“Kate? I've not heard from her. She didn't show up today. Poor girl. She'd only just turned twenty a couple of days back.”
“Fuck. Is there someone we can ask?”
“I'll ask Tony later and I'll tell you tomorrow. She'll be okay I'm sure. She's jumpy but she's a survivor. Just like you.”
MJ has never seemed like a hugging kind of person so I'm really caught off guard when she does it just outside the store but I feel a weight drop into my pocket.
“It's a phone that doesn't look like a phone. Text me, y'know? I get access to all these murder documentaries and no one will talk about it with me.”
“Thank you,” I hug her back and then she just goes stiff and awkward. “Uh, sorry.”
“No biggie,” MJ backs up, rubbing her arm. “Let's be good little handmaids.”
So we gathered groceries for the kitchens of our households, making small talk with some of the other handmaids. Ofbrock's face made my chest clench to see the blooming bruises where someone had tried to hide them with makeup. She didn't want to speak to anybody and ran off with Ofpietro who walked very deliberately and slowly, bowlegged down the aisles.
“This is vile,” I whisper to MJ, seeing just how much worse I could've had it.
“This is America now,” she's hiding her real feelings, I can tell. Putting up a wall of indifference but I already saw the little crack of disgust on her lips. “Welcome to the new world.”
When we got outside, I nearly steamrollered over Steve Rogers who was waiting. My robes got under my feet and I trip and, were it not for Captain America, I would've fallen straight on my face because my hands were holding up the grocery bags.
“Woah there,” he sets me upright. “Are you okay, miss?”
“Uh,” I look down. “Yes, thank you.”
Humility is what the Mother Superior drills into us so I wasn't going to look him in the eye.
“MJ, right?” he addresses my friend who just nods silently. “Would you mind if I walked Ofjames home myself? I know you can catch a ride, so to speak, with Darcy-uh-Ofvision?”
“Sure, Mr Rogers,” MJ gives me a coded look before walking off alone.
“You don't need to look scared, you've done nothing wrong,” Steve falls into step next to me. “I just saw you last night and you seemed a little distressed so I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
MJ's words were ringing in my head. Don't roll the dice. I could get someone even worse.
“Everything's fine, Mr Rogers.”
“Steve, please. I hate being called Mr Rogers,” he smiles warmly. “Are you sure you're settling in okay?”
“I want you to know if they hurt you, I won't stand for it. I also won't send you to someone who burns through handmaids like hot meals if that's what you're worried about. Ah, so it was that.”
He's already seen right through me, “Bucky is kind to me.”
“But Natasha is not.”
“It's a hard process for everyone,” I stare at the road. “I don't blame her.”
“Well, Of-....you know, I hate using these names. Can I call you something else? Whatever you'd like. Doesn't have to be your real name.”
“I really don't mind.”
“You know, don't worry about it, I shouldn't push,” he waves his hand. “Just please tell me if you're being harmed in any way.”
He seems genuine, extremely genuine. I just didn't know how much trust to place in him yet.
“No I'm not but can I be honest?”
“If all I'm supposed to do is shop, take vitamins and lie on my back, I'm going to lose my mind very quickly.”
“You were active before all this, huh? I read your file. Gardening experience, right? Well mine has seen better days so if you want, you can work on mine. I'd give you compensation of course, I'm not expecting you to do it for nothing. I also have a big library. The Barnes's are more the...physical activity kind of couple, not a creative one.”
“I would really like that, Steve.”
“Then I'll talk to Buck. Here we are,” we reach the house again. “Before we go in, are you absolutely sure you're okay and look at me when you answer. You don't need to avert your eyes.”
“I'm fine,” I meet his worried gaze. “I'll be better once I'm out of this wimple.”
He laughs and for just a second, I can pretend I'm having a normal conversation. Then Natasha opens the door and I'm shoved back in a subservient role.
“Steve! Great to see you,” she hugs him and ushers us inside. “I see you've met our handmaid.”
“Yeah I walked Ofjames home since I was coming this way anyway,” he goes to clap Bucky on the back as he comes into the reception hall. “Hey jerk.”
“Hey yourself, ass,” Bucky smiles. “Thanks for looking after our girl.”
“I wanted to talk to you about her actually,” Steve sits down on the sofa.
Both of the Barnes's immediately tense up, looking at me like I'd spilled some awful secret. If Steve didn't explain quickly, I was going to get the flower vase jammed into my neck.
“Oh?” Bucky plays it off casually but I can tell he's scared I've ratted him out for the contraband he has in his office.
“Yeah I'd like to have her come fix my garden and maintain it, if that's okay,” Steve thumbs out of the window. “She has experience and it'll keep her active without putting her through your fitness regimes because they'd kill a regular person.”
“Oh! Oh sure!” Natasha laughs. “I think that'd be great for Ofjames. By all means, have her come over whenever you need her.”
“And you'd like it too, Ofjames?” Steve pointedly asks me because Natasha had just spoken like I was an object in a business transaction.
“Yes, I would, thank you,” I reply meekly.
“She'll be great,” Bucky loops an arm around Natasha. “So? What shall we do tonight?”
I came dangerously close to having fun that evening. With Steve as a buffer, it was more like a friendly dinner party. We even ended up playing charades in teams and I was paired with Steve who was tragically hopeless at the more modern bits of media I tried to act out but I laughed a few times which was a bonus on the previous day's feelings.
Once Steve had left, Natasha corners me in the kitchen as I get a glass of water.
“You don't tell Steve about the issues we've been having and I will let you spend however much time you want there, okay? Just as long as you do the ritual when you're supposed to, I don't care.”
“I understand, Mrs Barnes.”
“In fact, I encourage you to be out of the house a lot. Got it? Okay,” she walks off quickly when she sees her husband approaching.
I guess that's one way to not feel jealous of my presence, kick me out of the household for hours on end.
“Meet me in my office when she's asleep,” Bucky whispers before resuming a normal volume. “You'd better get to bed, Ofjames. We have one more ritual day tomorrow.”
“Yes, Mr Barnes,” I scurry off.
Some hours later, when the boredom has really set in and I'm sat on the window ledge trying to figure out what I'm going to do to Steve's garden, I decide it's finally time to meet Bucky.
MJ had already gone to sleep and stopped texting a while back so I hid the phone in the same nook as the vibrator before going out into the hallway.
One soft rap on the door and I'm in whilst he gets up from his desk and puts his hands on the tops of my arms.
“Thank you for not saying anything to Steve about what I have in here,” he says earnestly. “I know it must have been tempting to say something. Tempting to say something about Natasha too. Remember, you can speak freely in here.”
“I...I don't want to be given to someone else,” I take off my cap that I have to wear at all times to hide my hair. “But I have to say you guys hurt me earlier. I couldn't breathe.”
“Shit,” he pulls me into a soft hug, stroking the back of my hair. “I thought that's what I heard but Natasha wouldn't let me out of the kiss. I'm so sorry, doll. I never meant to harm you. Please forgive me.”
“It'd be easier if you could convince her to straddle my back and fuck me from behind because then at least you'd just see her and I wouldn't get crushed.”
“It would and I'll mention it. Anything that gets her a spotlight but doesn't hurt you in the process,” Bucky pulls back, still stroking my hair. “Did you use my gift? You felt wet.”
“It helped, thank you.”
“Good. That's all I care about.”
“Are you okay?” the question catches him off guard. “She looked like she forced you on her after I left.”
“Ah, you saw that,” he looks at the carpet. “I'm fine, doll. It's sweet you're concerned but Natasha needed some us time and I wasn't exactly ready to perform after the ritual so that's how I can keep her happy. Did you watch the whole thing or something?”
“No, why? Did she do something else?”
“Doesn't matter,” he says quickly. “Anyway, even if it doesn't work out, Ofjames, I won't let someone like Zemo get his hands on you, okay?”
Honestly, I'm starting to feel like Natasha's abusing Bucky from how reticent he is to speak about the matter, how shy he's suddenly become.
“Thank you.”
“Let's get you something to read. I have some Lays, Doritos, Pringles, tons of chips today. Whatever you want.”
“Actually, can we play a boardgame please?”
“Of course, doll,” his face lights up. “I only have the classics and there's only two of us so...any good at Scrabble?”
“I'll give it a try.”
As it turned out, I was much better than he was. He kept trying to sneak things that weren't words onto the board and the dictionary got a lot of use. I found myself smiling a lot as the night drew on.
Finally I'd won by a country mile.
“I am never playing this with you again,” he jokes as I stand up, getting ready to go back to my room. “We'll try Monopoly next time.”
“Sure, if you want to get your ass beat even harder.”
By this point, all formalities had gone and I was my usual self. He just brought my personality back out of me with ease.
“Now that's a bold statement, doll,” he puts a hand in the middle of my back to steer me to the door after I grab my cap. “Thank you for keeping me company. I really appreciate it.”
There's a clumsy moment when I turn around to thank him back and wind up brushing our faces together. The both of us freeze, lips about a centimetre apart but he's not making a move and he's giving me ample time to leave.
“You should go before I do something really dumb,” his voice is little more than a whisper.
“You're married, Bucky.”
“To a person who makes me hurt you, accidentally or not. All of this for a baby that's not going to be hers biologically so why couldn't we just adopt? Why is she making me do this to you? All that's happening is that you're getting in my head already because I have to take care of you and I also have to fuck you. It's confusing me, so please, please go back to your room. I want to be a good husband.”
“I'll be at Steve's tomorrow after...you know. It'll be easier then,” I look up at him.
I have eyes; he's beautiful, he's charming and he's treated me kindly given the circumstances. If I wasn't a handmaid, if he wasn't married, if America hadn't lost its mind I would've closed the gap. As it was, I backed up and said my good nights.
“I'm sorry but I said honesty in this office so honesty is what you'll get,” Bucky nods, taking a deep breath. “Good night, Ofjames.”
I went back to my windowsill perch, trying to process how close I'd been to kissing a married man, a man married to the famous Black Widow at that. What was wrong with me? Two nights of being treated like a normal person and I give it up for anyone? Is that what I've been reduced to?
I'd have to keep an eye on myself in the future, to maybe not go to his office any more.
“Hey,” I hear across the gap between the houses since my window is open.
I stick my head out to see Steve across the way, “Hey?”
“Late one?”
“Couldn't sleep.”
“Everything okay?”
“I'm fine. I'm gonna get some shut eye and then I'm going to attack that mess of azaleas you've got going on over there.”
“Already got a plan, huh? Gotta admire that,” he laughs. “Good night, sweetheart. I have some sodas over here but don't tell anyone, okay? I couldn't kick the habit.”
“Save me one. Good night, Steve.”
I sincerely hoped tomorrow would be easier, that getting away from this house would help to not put a target on my back, to not break up the Barnes's. I was going to be here for a while after all and I'm not sure I trust myself.
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