child of the earth and sky
reread a bagginshield fanfic from 2013 that i thought was just the coolest thing ever when it came out. and whatdya know! it still is! here's some fanart of it from way back when: (x) and (x). ah, good (bad) times. looking back on the older pieces, it makes me happy to know it's so much easier now to translate the things that appear in my head onto (proverbial) paper. stories like these have been and still are such a driving force for my imagination and creativity. i'm glad i got closer to doing them justice.
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There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (1 of 15 vintage classics that comprise our current giveaway)
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Bilbo: my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. what should i do?
Kili: punch him in the stomach. when he doubles over, kiss him
Fili: Tackle him
Dwalin: kick him in the shins
Bofur: dump him
Thorin: just ask me to lean down?!
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real talk one of my favorite parts of sansukh by determamfidd is when frerin goes “hey thorin has anyone ever told you you get cruel when you’re worried”
and thorin goes “i do NOT” and then he thinks about it for like two seconds and goes “wait. shit. you’re right. i totally do. fuck.”
now if i’m reading a fanfic and thorin’s NOT an angry worrier, i’m a little disappointed, because determamfidd was 100% right, thorin’s reaction to every negative emotion is to turn it into anger
because he was so angry for so long and at least anger is energetic, it’s doing things, even if it’s not productive it feels like action and activity in a way that getting trapped and frozen in fear or depression don’t. and thorin hates feeling helpless because his specific traumas are all around helplessness and not being able to do anything. thorin does not have nice picturesque media-friendly trauma responses, he lashes out and he gets mad and sometimes he hurts people, often people who don’t deserve it, because thorin’s response to the fight/flight/fawn/freeze is always going to be fight even when that’s the worst choice possible. and like. it’s such a wonderful and tragic explanation for the way he reacts to bard and thranduil, of COURSE he says no of COURSE he fights, fight is all he knows how to do when he’s afraid, and no it’s not healthy and yeah it hurts people and that’s not good but he’s never allowed himself to heal or work through it and...
anyways i have a lot of feelings about thorin oakenshield and anger and trauma responses
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