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inbarfink · 3 months

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The interpersonal conflicts between the two Membrane siblings is an incredibly important part of Invader Zim’s comedy, and also its emotional core and the characterization of these two kids. With Gaz, this tends to be, like, the primary way she interacts with episode plots. For Dib, his interactions with Gaz tend to bring out his more Zim-like traits and are the main refutation for his Terminal Case of Main Character Syndrome.

But, also, I see a lot of assertions about their dynamic in the show that are often… kinda not very accurate? Anything from ‘Gaz beats up Dib on a regular basis’, to ‘all of Gaz’s actions are Perfectly Reasonable' to 'Gaz used to be Perfectly Reasonable and then Season 2 Flanderized her'. So, I think I want to do something a bit more… comprehensive for them.

So here is...

My Big Overview of Dib and Gaz!!

I’m going to try and go over each and every one of their conflicts in the show, go over who was most likely (the most) in the wrong, how the other reacted to it, if there’s an escalation, if it feels consistent with other episodes, how I personally see their motivations… obviously like every analysis of a piece of media it’s going to be at least kinda subjective, so I would love to hear how your view of The Siblings differ from my own - but I’m going to try and be as comprehensive and well-reasoned and balanced as I can be.

"The Nightmare Begins"

Gaz doesn’t get a lot in the first IZ episode, but she does get this!

Gaz: Dib drank the last soda. He will pay!

So, okay, it’s not entirely clear if Gaz has a good reason to be mad at Dib or not. Like, yeah, as we’re going to get to with other episodes - Dib might have a Problem of eating things that belong to Gaz. But the implication here is that this was everyone’s Soda, and she’s just mad that Dib finished it. But like, someone had to drink that last soda at some point, right?

Gaz’s anger could be justified, if, for example, she explicitly asked Dib to leave one last soda for her or if Dib already drank the majority of it… but that's all speculation. From what actually exists in canon (which is just this one line), it seems rather unfair.

But also it doesn’t matter that much, because while Gaz expresses frustration and, like, a desire for horrible vengeance - she (as far as we know, at least) doesn’t really do anything about it. She just gets herself a juice and once Dib comes home she’s just talking to him like normal (that is to say, somewhat derisively, but not openly hostile).

So really, regardless of whether drinking the last soda is a legitimate grievance or not - all Gaz did was express a minor and petty frustration in a kinda melodramatic way without doing anything about it. She didn't even do it to Dib's face!

"Nanozim"

The first proper Gaz episode! And with it, a lot more Dib-Gaz interactions! And the introduction of one of Gaz’s major grievances with her brother… that she finds him annoying.

Dib: Maybe they'll let me host the show. My own episode! Gaz: I'm only 13 levels away from finishing this game so I either finish the game or make you wish I was never born.

Now, Dib should have the right to be as Weird as he damn pleases. Buuut… Gaz also should have the right to be left alone and Not be Bothered by people she finds grating. So while getting mad at Dib for just existing and doing his thing near her would be unfair, Dib is explicitly trying to talk to her - and she’s got the right to not want to participate in the conversation. Especially if she’s also trying to do her own Thing at the same time.

Note that she only really speaks out when the conversation really turns into stroking Dib’s own ego, that’s when she decides that talking to him is not worth risking her Gamer Time. And, much like with ‘the Nightmare Begins’, despite the harshness of her words - she doesn’t really do anything and Dib doesn’t really react. Making it seem like Gaz is prone to over-dramatic proclamations of vengeance but she doesn’t have much bite.

Hell, when Dib starts shoving his hands in her face while she plays. She’s not aware, or at least she doesn't acknowledge, that his behavior is legitimately out of his control. But all that leads too is… another empty threat and her leaving the living room to get away from him.

Gaz: I'm letting you live this time, Dib, but only because I'm still getting through this last level.

And when she shows up again, we have a bit of a Turnabout! This time, Gaz is the one trying to initiate a conversation and Dib is the one brushing her off so he can focus.

Gaz: Is that Zim? Is this an online game? Dib: Gaz, please. I need to concentrate.

And actually, in that case, both of them were more ‘justified’. In the sense that at least Gaz was trying to talk to Dib on what she thought was a shared interest - a game he likes and she thinks looks interesting. In contrast to Dib only wanting to talk about something only he is interested in and how great he is and all the praise he’s going to get. And Dib obviously had very good reasons to take the ‘game’ very seriously and choosing to focus over small-talk with his sister.

The problem being that Dib's pride blinds him to the obvious solution of letting his über-gamer sister who can’t be hurt from the inside by Zim take the wheel. From Gaz’s perspective he is actually more reasonable than reality, because she thinks he’s not sharing a cool game he found with her because he want to play it, rather than risking his own life because he feels the need to be the one who best Zim.

And she’s being a bit of a pushy backseat gamer herself, but not really, like, more than standards for lil gaming kids. And she doesn’t actually do anything but ask to play up until Dib is literally unable too. Although she does push him aside.

Then she unknowingly saved his life, and knowingly helped him humiliate Zim. And… should we count Gaz calling the game ‘stupid’ when she thought it was actually very important to Dib as another example of her insulting him? I dunno, all-in-all both Membrane Siblings acted relatively grounded and reasonable in IZ Character Standards. Like, this is pretty standard Mildly Jerkish Sibling Behavior from both of them.

"Parent Teacher Night"

Gaz laughed at Dib when Zim splashed him with punch

Although she also laughed at Dib splashing Zim with punch.

So really, this isn’t really specific antagonism against Dib - she just really finds petty minor acts of assholery funny regardless of who's doing them. Although I guess you can argue that she should 'side' with her brother.

"Dark Harvest"

Yet another classic example of ‘Dib bothers Gaz by ranting about something she doesn’t care about, and Gaz retaliate by being uninterested’

Dib: Incredible! You see Gaz, to defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then wear my enemy's clothes then- Gaz: You're in my light.

There’s not even, like a toothless violent threat here this time, she’s just making it clear that she’s not interested in a way that's kinda rude.

"The Wettening"

Since I am here to discuss the antagonism between Gaz and Dib, I won’t go into much detail into this iconic scene

Outside of it being yet another demonstration of how often Gaz’s threats of physical violence usually seem more like toothless edgelordism than anything you should take seriously.

Gaz: If you wanna keep all your limbs, Zim, you will put me down, you will put me down NOW!

Our actual main focus here (outside of some mild snark from Gaz that Dib didn’t even pay much mind to)

Gaz: I'm leaving with or without you, Dib. Preferably without you.

Is what happens right after that Zim Umbrella Situation - Gaz is all set to actually make her threat a bit more than just talk

And then Dib splashes Zim and Gaz is caught in the ‘crossfire’.

And, y’know, Gaz doesn’t give a shit about Zim and Dib’s rivalry - she doesn’t see Zim as a threat and just sees Dib’s ‘fate of the world’ work as a selfish way to stroke his own ego. So while being splashed by a puddle is a relatively small slight (at least if you’re not Zim), it’s the reasoning and the fact that Dib shows no remorse or even really acknowledges what he did to Gaz that, I think, is what really sets her off.

Gaz: THAT was your fate of the world work!?! Jumping in a puddle!?! You do realize I'm gonna have to destroy you now. Dib: It was worth it. Score one for the human race! Score nothing for the Zim... thingy race. Gaz: I will destroy you.

So after this little threat, we don't really see much more antagonism from her outside of the usual snarky comments and general hostility to Dib trying to share his interests with her.

Until after Zim has delivered his ultimate defeat. That is when Gaz also unleashes her revenge.

Throwing a single water balloon at Dib.

This is really one of my favorite Gaz Revenge Moments of the entire show, because on one hand her anger is understandable and her way of getting back at Dib is technically perfectly proportional. He splashed her, she splashed him back. But the timing of when she does it just adds this angle of rubbing salt on Dib’s wounds that just makes it hurts so much more without her actually having to do anything extra.

"Battle-Dib"

Now, this is actually where you can say that there was a shift in Gaz’s character. Because while Dib eating her pizza right out of her hands was undeniably a Dick Move. I think that he clearly knew what he was doing since he did guess at that was what Gaz was upset about (he just couldn’t remember the food right)

Dib: Gaz! Help me! I'm sorry about your tacos or whatever, just help me...

It just feels like Dib thinks that being a ‘hero saving the world from the alien menace’ entitles him to his sister’s pizza, and Gaz - who refuses to see Zim as a legitimate threat to Earth’s existence and/or humanity's freedom - would obviously be enraged by this mindset.

And like, if you frame it as “Dib stole Gaz’s pizza, so she ruined his chances to get a permission slip from their dad”, it wouldn’t actually be all that bad. Again, Gaz doesn’t see Zim as a meaningful threat, and thus she sees Dib’s battles against him not as a heroic duty but a self-indulgent hobby. So she’s just screwing with the stupid thing he does for fun (and his own ego), not anything actually important.

But… the problem is that ‘ruining Dib’s permission slip’ wasn’t a one-and-done thing. In the process of ruining Dib’s attempt to get his permission slip signed, Gaz also got him tasered

And beat up in a variety of interesting ways

And dragged off forcibly by security.

So, like, even from Gaz’s perspective where Dib’s conflicts with Zim just Do Not Matter, this is way past the point that Pizza Vengeance can justify any of this. This is the first time we’ve got not just angry and snarky Gaz who makes a lot of threats but generally acts mean but proportionally so - but legit a ‘will destroy you over the slightest provocation’ Gaz.

Since this is still pretty early in the show's run, I wonder if this shift is just, like, what was always intended for Gaz’s characterization. Like, that from the get-go they wanted her to be this disproportionally vengeful and they just couldn't incorporate her actually fulfilling any of her threats into an episode's plot until then. OR if was an attempt to just make her more involved in episode plots and ‘wackier’ and more flawed (especially since this is a very rare occasion where Gaz doesn’t just deliver a Karmic Punishment, but also suffers one).

Especially, since this ‘change’ doesn’t necessarily stick to all, or even most, or her subsequent appearances.

"Planet Jackers"

Dib: Gaz, there's an alien in the house! Gaz: You mean besides you?

Really just a tiny and pretty standard interaction, between these two. A snarky and mean-spirited comment against Dib when he bothers her about something she doesn’t see as important and doesn’t want to get involved in. Pretty much the baseline for these two.

"Rise of the Zitboy"

With this one it’s really clear that we’re back to the ‘classic’ Dib-Gaz dynamic despite the 'shift' in 'Battle-Dib'. Like, Gaz is trying to do her own thing, Dib is trying to initiate a conversation about the Thing She Doesn’t Care About (Zim) and she’s just trying her best to Not Engage. Only now, instead of her usual Game Slave, it’s a book!

If anything this is toned-down from her baseline, since she doesn’t even say anything mean or threatening, she just tries as hard as possible to ignore him and hopes he gets the hint (he does not).

"Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy"

Gaz is shown exacerbated by her brother’s actions during the first flashback, but outside of a light snarky comment to herself she doesn’t really do anything.

Gaz: Not again.

Now back in the present, we see a sort of inversion of the Dib-Gaz conflicts of “the Nightmare Begins” and “Battle-Dib” by having Dib complain to Gaz about her eating something he wanted to eat!

Dib: Hey Gaz, did you eat all the cereal? I was gonna have this for breakfast tomorrow, you know! Gaz: You think you own all the cereal. Well, you know what Dib? You don't. You just don't. Dib: Look, all I'm saying is if you're going to--

If the implication in these two previous episodes is that Dib eating Gaz’s food is a regular occurrence - then she is pretty justified by acting so appalled by his comment. It’s just plain selfish hypocrisy! Or… maybe this scene implies that the Membrane Siblings ‘stealing’ food from each other and getting angry at the other for doing this is something that they both do regularly. Which, like…okay, finishing a shared box of cereal before the second person could is still not anywhere near snatching a pizza a person was planning to eat right out of their fucking hand. But at the very least it makes both her reaction to Dib finishing the soda and her defensiveness here feel a lot less justified.

And then when the time-shift happened…Well, I’ve seen some people suggest that Gaz’s non-hostile and even, like, kinda-audibly-concerned reaction to Dib’s questions about his past accidents suggest that in this timeline Gaz is a lot kinder to her poor injured brother.

Gaz: Tricycle accident when you were 3, don't you remember?

And while this is a plausible explanation. (It’s especially consistent with her ‘Enter the Florpus’ characterization. She says she’s Mean to her brother because she knows he’s strong enough to take it, but obviously Piggy Timeline Dib is not strong enough to take it).

But I don’t actually think it’s a needed explanation. Like, even at her most extreme and petty - Gaz has always been mean in reaction to Dib. Whatever it’s just being Annoying at her or stealing her food right off her hands, and whatever this reaction is proportional to the slight or totally vengeful and unreasonable - Gaz’s meanness is almost always directed at Dib as a reaction to something. So I don’t think it’s that unthinkable for Prime Timeline Gaz to also react so amiably to Dib asking her a question that she doesn’t find horribly obnoxious.

Especially since even in the Piggy timeline, Gaz is still not beyond wanting to ignore Dib

Gaz: Dib, shhh. They're gonna show the bats eating a cow!

Or go for a snarky comment when he offers her an obvious opening.

Dib: And have my plans always been this lame? Gaz: Ooooh yeah.

Although it is maybe notable that the second Past Sequence where she is present

Is actually the closest we see of Gaz express, like, genuine concern when her brother is bodily harmed. Which is notable compared to other episodes, including…

"Bloaty's Pizza Hog"

Now, here’s a Real Proper Gaz Focus Episode, and as such, it’s naturally very important to her characterization.

First things first, it’s the one to explicitly establish the fact that Gaz does not see Zim as a threat and therefore she sees Dib’s obsession with defeating him not as a serious world-saving undertaking, but as a frivolous hobby on kinda the same level as Dib sees her video-game obsession.

Dib: Don't you care that Zim's trying to destroy all mankind? Huh? Gaz: But he's so bad at it.

And that perspective, of course, informs a lot of my analysis of Gaz’s behavior through the post even before we got to this episode. I think it’s actually pretty interesting because you can totally see the internal logic that justifies that perspective - Zim is often the main person throwing a wrench into his own plans, and Dib’s motivations for positioning himself as a hero standing against his evil are partially self-serving (something that’s very easy for Gaz to see since she’s lived with him trying to play out self-aggrandizing fantasies all of her life).

But from our wider perspective as the audience, we know that sometimes Zim can be a genuine threat to the people of Earth (if not legitimately dangerously close to destroying/conquering it, at least causing a lot of localized havoc and mayhem with his schemes) and that Dib’s efforts of stopping him are not entirely in-vain, and that his reasons are… not entirely just fueled by his own ego. And from Dib’s own biased perspective Zim is always a threat just one step from destroying all mankind if not for Dib's intervention which is obviously Altruistic and Heroic. So it’s very much a matter of their different perspectives and views of the Zim-Dib rivalry causing further conflicts between the two siblings.

I mean, on a smaller scale that is why Gaz is so upset whenever Dib is bothering her when she’s trying to do something for fun. You know, kinda like here-

Both of these activities, fighting aliens and drawing little piggies, are equally frivolous in her eyes. But by constantly distracting her with talks about the Stupid Shit He Does for Fun Dib is kinda putting his silly hobbies as more important than her silly hobbies and thus his own needs above her own - which is what always gets her so upset. (But again, upset, but not doing anything but be a Bit Creepy About It).

But of course, the interesting thing about this episode is that this time, Dib’s Frivolous Hobby isn’t just interrupting Gaz’s Frivolous Hobby - it’s actually interrupting something a lot more important and with much more urgent stakes. Family Dinner Night.

Gaz: You know Dad's taking us out tonight. I picked Bloaty's. Dib: This is bigger than pizza, Gaz! This is the fate of all mankind! Gaz: You and your mankind... Dib: Uh-huh. Whatever. Look, if I'm not home in time, call this number and tell them the Mothman is caught in the spider's web. Dib: They'll know what you mean. But, like I said, I'll probably be back before the Mysteries theme song starts.

Even after being told that dad is taking them to dinner… I think Gaz is very much trying to imply “this is important to me, don’t mess it up” without being directly, emotionally honest about it. And Dib’s just totally not even considering it. Like yeah, from his perspective he is going on an Important Heroic Mission that must be worth anything else he could be doing with his time, but... he is also primarily worried about not missing his favorite TV Show and reduces the idea of Family Dinner Night to just 'pizza'.

And like, this is a very complicated family situation, isn’t it? It is understandable if Dib isn’t gang-ho about having dinner with his dad, considering what their relationship is like. And maybe the fact that he couldn’t take Gaz’s hint about this being Very Important to Her isn’t, like, entirely up to his sense of self-absorption but also to his general social inaptitude (and his Autistic Swag). But I can also understand why this is so important to Gaz and why she would still read Dib’s behavior as just pure selfishness and part of a pattern of disregarding her feelings.

(There's certainly some sort of Funky Neverending Loop of, like, Dib disregards Gaz's feelings, Gaz expresses her feelings about it in the most repressed, abrasive and/or mean way possible, Dib continues to Not Get It and disregard Gaz's feelings. Like, how much is Dib Not Getting It the fault of Gaz always letting out her feelings in exclusively in the form of snarky comments and edgy threats and how much has Gaz learned to express herself in this way as a coping mechanism due to Dib always walking over her wants and needs? It's hard to say)

So when Dib ignores (from her POV of the situation. Again, maybe Dib just legit missed the subtext) her honest desire to spend time with their dad for a change, she first reacts by… trying to abandon Dib. Instead of calling the Swollen Eyeballs as backup for him, she just destroys the number and tries to go to dinner without him.

Which… okay, this can be a dick move which is kinda way out of proportions of what Dib actually did. But remember that Gaz’s perspective refuses to see Zim as a threat. So she doesn’t see it necessarily as abandoning Dib to death, but just as an inconvenience. He’ll get out eventually on his own, he’s ‘strong enough to take it’, and that means she doesn’t need to bother with lending him a hand. “Well, if he doesn’t care about Family Night Out then he doesn’t get to go. And also he doesn’t get to watch his stupid ass show!”. Like she was thinking about it as wasting his time and not necessarily leaving him to die.

But also, like, this episode goes to great lengths to establish that Gaz is only saving Dib for the sake of her getting to eat dinner with her dad for once, and not out of concern for him. And while she might not believe Zim is actually capable of killing him, she is also pretty blasé about the idea that he’ll be harmed or tortured… unless it interferes with Bloaty’s with dad, of course.

Look at her big ol’ eyes, it’s not just an ‘eh, he can get himself out on his own’ mindset - she was looking forward to seeing him suffer horribly!

Dib himself is still being kind of a Jerk throughout the episode, even in an emergency he’s still thinking about how his little sneak-in plan will affect him in the most superficial ways.

Dib: There you are, Gaz! Looks like you'll have to tape the show for me, I made it in!

Dib: Gaz, make sure you don't record over any old episodes.

Like, this isn't even a 'Dib thinks saving the world is more important than Family Dinner Night. But Gaz doesn't think the world is actually in danger so think this is just frivolous ego stroking even though we know Zim can be a genuine danger and Dib's goals are at least kinda genuinely heroic' thing when you consider these lines. Even in a dangerous situation where the world is at stake, Dib can still find the brainspace to worry about his silly TV show but not about the possibility he'd deny his sister the precious little time they have to spend with their dad.

You can argue that trying to stop Zim is actually more important than Family Dinner Night and Dib is in the right. But Dib's dialogue also puts Mysterious Mysteries as being more important than Family Dinner Night. Because that at least gets some sort of acknowledgement from him. Gaz's only chance to go to her favorite restaurant with her favorite person in the world doesn't even get a "sorry, Gaz, but I have an Important Duty to do!", he just totally ignores it.

And generally through the episode he's ignoring and understating Gaz’s desires - even after she did actually told him right to his face what she wants.

Gaz: Come home now, Dib! Your weird obsessions are not gonna mess today up for me. I just want to go out and eat with Dad, that's all! Stop playing with Zim and get back here.

Gaz: All I want is to have some pizza...hang out with Dad, and not have your weirdness mess up my day.

So at this point this stops being some sort of misunderstanding and really starts seeming more like Dib not even trying to understand his sister’s motivations.

Dib: Come on, Gaz! You'd sacrifice the entire planet just for some pizza!?!

Which… makes sense as something that will aggravate her, especially in regards to something as emotionally important as getting to hang out with her father for once. But still, letting him get tortured is, like, maybe a tad disproportionate as an outlet for these frustrations?

But I think it's still notable that while the angle of disproportionate response to technically-legitimate-grievances is similar, in contrast to her very active acts of sabotage back in “Battle-Dib”, she only really ‘gets back’ at Dib here through inaction when Zim is hurting him (and maybe being a bit abrasive to Dib during her rescue, but Dib was also a very annoying rescuee so that one I think does kinda balances out.)

"Bolognius Maximus"

Okay, back to the simpler and shorter interactions now. We once again see Dib initiate ‘conversations’ with Gaz about subjects she finds annoying and uninteresting.

Dib: They try and say it's just a regular mountain range on the Martian surface, and it's just a trick of the light, but come on! It is so a monkey face.

And this time all Gaz does is casually ignore him.

When things start getting odd with the dogs and all, she only reacts with a snarky comment. But at this point it’s not even entirely clear to Dib that something very very wrong is happening. So I dunno who would expect Gaz to be worried about this?

Now, later in the episode, when Dib is very obviously turning into a bologna, Gaz still doesn’t give a shit.

Which I think actually matches up very well with her ‘Zim is not a threat, none of the things he’s doing/planning to do will actually pan out’ outlook. Like, lowkey she is pretty sure that this new Wacky Zim Scheme is gonna go up in flames and return everything to normal so there’s no need for her concern or interest and she can just casually enjoy the free bologna. Which is actually a fun character beat because usually the show leans toward Gaz’s attitude being kinda right - but this time she was very much in the wrong.

And like, if 'Bloaty's Pizza Hog' gave me a chance to talk about how Dib's tendency to see the Inherent Importance of everything he is interested in over any of Gaz's needs and desires might not just be a difference in perspective or miscommunication but also has an element of trying to rationalize his own selfishness - I think it's only fair for me to note this can also go the other way around.

It's easy to see Gaz's total dismissal of Zim's threat potential as just her being... you know, grounded and rational enough to see things as they are. But there might be her own emotional bias in play in here motivated by her own resentment with her brother and her own selfish desire to totally ignore and disregard him. Maybe on some level, she just can't allow anything that Dib cares about to be actually worth paying attention to, even when it seems to be literally life-threatening?

"Game Slave 2"

Obviously this episode has a lot of Gaz content, some that can invite a lot of discussion about how proportionate or disproportionate her reactions are - but we are going to focus specifically on her interactions with Dib, of course. Starting with…

Dib: Come on! Bigfoot would never say that! Gaz: Why do you have to read that in here? I'm trying to play a game! Dib: Mysterious Mysteries is on in five minutes!

This is actually really the first time where Gaz is directly, explicitly annoyed by Dib just sort of being around here. Usually her exasperation is fueled by him trying to talk to her about all kinds of Alien Stuff she just doesn’t care about, or trying to drag her into his world-saving adventures against her will, or stealing her food - but here is just doing His Own Thing in her vicinity. Like, the living room is a Shared Space, he has just as much of a right to hang out there as Gaz does.

If anything, he has more of a right to be there since he’s waiting for his show to come on while Gaz is playing her handheld video game. So if Dib reading his magazine and complaining that Bigfoot Would Not Fucking Say That is bothering her so much - then she should probably just go to her room. Then again, she doesn’t do much other than verbally complain once and it was probably more about venting out her frustrations about the game than Dib himself.

But then…

Dib: I've been waiting all night to see this! She can wait to get her stupid game! Prof. Membrane: Son, video games develop hand eye coordination, and make kids into better human beings! Dib: Okay... But only after the show is over. Gaz: You stink!

So on some level this is just the same sort cycle of conflict that is always going around these two. Both of them prioritize their own hobbies (and this time it IS Dib’s hobby, there’s not much subjectivity around this. This isn’t about saving the human race from anyone’s point of view, just about a show he wants to watch) and thinks the other one is frivolous and selfish for caring about their hobbies more. But also… in this specific context Dib is the One Being a Dick.

Just like before I sided with Dib because Gaz can play the game in her room…. We know the Membranes have a way to record shows on their TV. That came up in literally the previous episode! Dib could’ve just set his VCR to record and ‘Mysterious Mysteries’ will be waiting for him when he gets back from the mall - but Gaz’s console launch is an actual time sensitive matter. (Plus ‘Mysterious Mysteries’ is aired on, like, a weekly basis. Consoles do not release in this frequency).

So Gaz had every reason to be upset with Dib when they did get to the mall and see, like Gaz and any Gamer watching could’ve predicted, that a-half-an-hour delay in getting to the big launch event can screw up a lot.

Dib: It was a… really good episode…

And maybe I’m reading too much into it, but Dib’s reaction also feels pretty telling. You know, instead of giving Gaz any sort of apology, he’s being defensive by saying that hey, at least the MM episode was worth it? Like it is still kinda centering his interests and desires over Gaz’s.

And Gaz’s retaliation for it is…honestly relatively mild?

Gaz: Hey, Dib. I think I saw a Chupacabra or something going into that parking garage. Dib: A Chupacabra? But there isn't a goat to feed on for miles!

She just gets him out of her way so she can be left alone in line in peace, and probably hoping to waste his time on the fake Chupacabra - a tit-for-tat revenge for getting her time wasted. Which… okay, it’s unclear if she knew about how large and labyrinthine the mall’s parking lot actually was and about, you know, the colony of horrible rat people. But still, Dib was already out of the building by the time Gaz finished Murdering a Fellow Child.

At worst, he wasted like a couple of hours that he didn’t have any specific plans for anyways.

Really, since this episode gives us a glimpse into how Gaz deals with People She Finds Annoying Who Are Not Dib... it actually kinda gives the impression that Gaz... like, not just that she doesn't hate Dib specifically and will aim a similar amount of ire at any random person who annoys her in a similar way. But also maybe that she goes easy on Dib, compared to how she delt with Iggins. Which is... probably the closest we'll get in this entire journey to an indication that Gaz has any level of care towards Dib.

"Battle of the Planets"

Dib: DAD! Gaz! Come see this! Professor Membrane: Please! No more foolishness, son! Gaz: Your voice is stupid!

Dib tries to get Gaz involved in something she doesn’t care about, she insults him. Pretty standard.

"Mysterious Mysteries"

Okay, so, the first thing I want to note is the lil’ babies scene.

It seems like a really inconsequential gag but this is actually, like, an extremely rare occurrence of Gaz being mean to Dib without anything even resembling a provocation. Like, at least in that little scene at the start of ‘Game Slave 2’ she was venting because of her frustrations with the game and it was just a light grumble. This is really like the most classic inarguable example of Gaz bullying Dib.

Especially when compared to both her version of the Story and her general behavior in the ‘present day’ of the episode. Like, is portraying Dib in her version of the story as a barely coherent moron kind of Mean? Yeah, sure it was. But is it any more insulting to the actual person that it’s depicting than Dib depicting Gaz as his helpless adoring sidekick? Especially as her interview implies that she did find Dib’s version of events legitimately insulting in it's inaccuracy?

Gaz: My stupid brother did drag me out to look for stupid Zim. He didn't make that part up.

Maybe Gaz deliberately exaggerated Dib’s (and Zim’s) stupidity in her version of the story out of spite of how Dib framed her on national TV. Maybe just like Dib seemed to be genuinely under the belief that his version of Gaz is a decent reflection of reality, Gaz literally just thinks of Dib as this stupid and annoying. Either way, it’s a really an equally-matched kind of sibling assholery.

Also, speaking of Gaz’s version of events... obviously it’s not entirely clear what really happened - but I do think, when it comes to like characterization and the general tone of Invader Zim, Gaz's retelling is at least pretty reliable on two fronts; why she was there-

And why did the video cut out when it did.

So while Dib’s interactions with Gaz had that undercurrent of, like, him always putting his own interests above her own for a long time - this really is the most obvious example. Literally forcibly dragging her out of whatever she was doing for the sake of getting an extra ‘eyewitness’ to his video. And so she responded with a little force of her own.

Again, this is all from Gaz’s story, and she does tend to give out exaggerated threats of violence that she doesn’t always carry out - so I don’t think it’s out of the question for her to also retroactively make up/exaggerate the acts of violence she commits. But since this kick in the shins is by far the most probable cause for the video cutting out that we have, I am going to assume that it did happen in reality on some level. And it is a very notable example of Gaz actually inflicting direct physical violence on Dib - until now, her preferred methods of inflicting pain on him were a lot less direct.

And while kicking people in the shins is wrong, it was still in reaction to Dib forcibly dragging her along - which was probably a lot less painful, but also took a lot more time. You can argue this still follows a sort of tit-for-tat logic that a lot of Gaz's retaliations do... but also, with Gaz's second scene in this episode literally being the most Unambiguous Case of her being Mean to Dib for Now Reason

In this episode more than anything, it might be fair to assume Gaz just wanted to hurt Dib and humiliate him on National TV and there's nothing more to it.

(Also, of course, Gaz refusing to corroborate Dib’s story is one of the main reasons why he failed in that episode. But as I mentioned many times before, Gaz refuses to see that rivalry as anything serious or with more stakes than her video games. In her mind, this is about as bad, or maybe even less bad, then dragging her out to waste time by participating in this stupid show in the first place.)

"Future Dib"

Okay, so most of the other Gaz and “Dib” interactions in this episode kinda follow a unified-if-winding thread of thought so I want to start with the one that I have kind of a separate Point about:

While Gaz’s reaction was very disproportionate and unnecessarily violent, I think it’s also interesting to note that the thing that set her off was “Dib” putting his hand around her. It’s actually part of a recurring implied piece of characterization that Gaz hates being touched.

Dib: Everyone, hold hands again. Gaz: Yeah! Your lives depend on it! Poonchy: Okay! Hold my hand. Gaz: No way! Be serious!

Since Dib very very rarely ever touches Gaz, and, y’know, has known her all of her life - avoiding physical touch is probably an established boundary between them. So while that doesn’t fully justify the intensity of Gaz’s reaction, that does explain both why that set her off so much and why that’s really the moment where she starts to notice “Dib” is really acting strangely. He was really violating a boundary that he should’ve known by now.

(Going back for a sec, actually, her ‘dramatic re-enactment’ in Mysterious Mysteries also has the Dib Actor dragging the Gaz Actor by the arm. So that’s probably another reason why Gaz reacted kinda violently then as well)

So Gaz giving out more edgelordy threats to (who she thinks is) Dib is pretty standard at this point, but there is something very unique about it in this episode. This is the first time since ‘Battle-Dib’ where she actively acts on these threats to such a literal degree. And this is also combined with the ‘Mysterious Mysteries’ trend of being much more directly violent.

Like, Gaz explicitly only realized she was dealing with a Dib Robot Replica after choking it out so hard it’s eye popped out. All of this violence and pain, she was intending to inflict it on the real Dib. This is about as bad or maybe worse than everything she put Dib through back in ‘Battle-Dib’. And she's doing it with her own two hands this time.

Plus, the reason that she’s reacting like this isn’t because Dib was stealing her Pizza or being generally inconsiderate to her - it’s really just for being weird and annoying (which, in this context, means ‘start to scream randomly and freak out’). So that feels a lot less justified.

Then, of course, her reaction to finding out that she has been beating up a robot half-to-death is to use it as a replacement for her brother. Which has several different implications going on here about Gaz’s relationship to Dib:

First things first, I want to note that this episode ends with the implication that Gaz left Dib to be stuck in that cell for, like, the rest of his life until he died of old age or something?

I mean, yeah, obviously it is a ‘non canon’ jokey ending that gets totally ignored by the next episode. But the way I always took these snapback ending is as, like, obviously they probably didn’t actually happen in whatever passes for ‘canon’ in Invader Zim - but the events are still indicative of what would’ve happened in terms of worldbuilding and character actions. So while this episode isn’t telling us that Dib has literally died of old age after spending his entire life being beat up by a monkey for Zim’s amusement. This episode is telling us that if that did happen, Gaz would make no effort to save him, ever.

This is notable because of how it contrasts with the previous episodes, or at least my interpretation of them. Like I said, my assumption has always been that Gaz doesn’t care about the Zim-Dib rivalry and sees it as frivolous nonsense because she doesn’t see Zim as a threat. And thus, her general refusal to help her brother was less about outright hatred of him and waiting to see him gone/hurt, and more about just thinking he can handle that walking joke on his own and there’s no need for her to waste her Precious Gaming Time on this.

This is very much supported by ‘Enter the Florpus’, both in what Gaz literally tells Dib right to his face and in the sense that when Zim does prove to be a credible threat to her world and to her family - she joins forces with her brother with minimal complaints. But of course, ETF Characterization don’t always apply to 2001 Series Characterization so while I prefer this reading partially because it allows ETF Gaz to feel more consistent with Main Show Gaz - I also I feel that Main Show has enough implications to point to this characterization and motivations on it’s own and I want to draw attention to it.

But here… this is Gaz theoretically ignoring Dib’s plight for literal decades. At this point this isn’t something that can be explained as ‘she doesn’t think she needs to bother with it’. Like, at some point it should’ve been clear to her that even if Zim isn’t a threat to Earth, he is certainly torturing Dib somewhere. This really seems to be direct evidence toward the idea that Gaz just doesn’t not like her brother at all and wishes that he was gone.

And also I want to discuss what exactly Gaz turned the Robot Dib into - an abusable servant. Something that fulfills her needs while passively enduring her random acts of cruelty.

So… is this what she would like Dib to be? Like, maybe I’m just looking at it from the totally wrong angle. Maybe it’s just a matter of ‘well, if you have a Robot Servant, you’d obviously want it to serve you. And if you’re an angsty preteen with anger issues, you’d like to have something vaguely human-shaped but non-sapient to take your frustrations on’. Maybe it’s got nothing to do with Dib. But… like, this Robot is still Dib-Shaped. So I feel like the implication is that she’s using Robot Dib as a proxy of what she would also do with Dib if he was, like, mind-controlled or something?

And that’s… not really the vibe I’ve gotten from Gaz’s interactions with Dib so far? I mean, maybe I won’t go as far as to say that she actually likes him - but I thought about it more in the sense that she just wanted Dib to leave her alone most of the time. That for her an ideal situation would be more if he did his own thing and she did her own thing without his ‘weirdness’ barging in and bothering her all the time.

This is just really… I think that might be the ‘Meanest’ Gaz has ever been in my book. Like I know that there’s Another Certain Episode that people often put up as “The One Where Gaz is Really Mean to Dib” but I think that it's more Complicated than some people give it credit for. So, like, I’ll get there when I get there. But here we actually have the Gaz who physically attacks Dib over the slightest provocation and, like, actively hates him.

It’s really one of those things that make me, like, kinda question my analysis so far. I mean, is this meant to be another attempt to shift Gaz’s character because meaner and more violent characters are more fun and wacky to write? Is it just a matter of the IZ writers prioritizing wacky escalation and cartoon violence and Dib suffering over giving Gaz consistent motivations? Or have I been just totally overly generous in my analysis so far? Like, maybe I was totally off the mark trying to look at which of Dib's actions seem to set Gaz off?Maybe we were supposed to understand that Gaz was always beating Dib to a pulp off-screen since the start?

But... I dwelled on these thoughts for a while and I think that my usual read of Gaz’s character is maybe not consistent with this episode, but it is consistent with a majority of the episodes she was featured in. Which is not something I can necessarily say for a reading that just centers ‘Future-Dib’ above all else. This level of physical violence here is still very unusual for her, even in episodes where she is more cruel to Dib.

(And the idea that she just legit hates her brother and wishes he was gone… honestly, yeah, that can go either way...)

"Abducted"

Especially considering this is the very next episode with any sort of Dib-Gaz interaction!

Gaz just walking off while Dib is being, well, abducted can work pretty well if you assume that Gazthinks that obviously whatever is flying this thing

Is some sort of incompetent idiot and she doesn’t need to bother with the annoyance of saving Dib because he can handle it on his own (and she would probably be right).

But… it can also work just as well if you assume she doesn’t give a shit about Dib and would be happy if he’s gone forever.

"Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom"

Dib: How I am I still the only one who sees Zim's an alien? I mean, come on! Come on! COME ON! Gaz: Why do you have to have a head? Dib: Gaz! I want you to see this. Today, things are gonna change. I'm gonna do… something! I'm not just gonna sit back and watch Zim get away with his… his… things he do! Dib: I mean— Gaz: "Things he "DO"? What's your problem?

And we’re back to Gaz not being directly violent or even threatening violence, but just being snarky in a kinda mean way. Still, there’s maybe less of the justification for her exacerbation with Dib this time. Because this time he wasn't technically bothering her at all! Dib was lecturing another kid before she started insulting him. I think the implication was that she felt he was embarrassing her, but I still feel like that's a lot less justified.

Still, it’s not like her words seem to significantly hurt Dib, and she is at least able to share a laugh about Zim’s ridiculous behavior with him. (although with ‘Parent-Teacher Night’, there is also the implication that she would’ve also laughed at Dib in any sort of inverted scenario).

"Tak: The Hideous New Girl"

So for Dib and Gaz’s first interaction in this episode, we have this:

And well, kinda like the ‘Wonderful Life of Doom’ interaction, what Gaz does here is pretty mild in the grand scheme of things- but her reasoning also feels not very justified.

I mean, yeah, she was annoyed by the sound of them yelling, that sucks. But Dib has a right to yell in the shared living space of his own house. But… also, I suspect that she sprayed him with the soda less as a punishment for being annoying and more as a direct result of what he said just before.

Dib: Thanks, Gaz. He was really…

She wanted to make it clear that she was not shooing Zim out to help him. She did it for her own sake. Because Dib keeps making this mistake of thinking of Gaz as his sidekick and that her goals and wants align with his and obviously that causes her a lot of exasperation and wasted time. So I think she was more lashing out at this hypothetical future scenario than just Dib annoying her in the present.

Next up, we have the scene by the Evil Weenie Stand.

Gaz: Be quiet. I wanted to let you know that my brother is trying to break into this building through some secret entrance. Weenie Clerk: We... we have chili beans. Gaz: I just though it'd be funny to see him get beaten up by security.

So, Gaz actively trying to get Dib grievously injured just because it’s funny is actually... kind of an unusual thing for her. Like, as I’ve said previously, she’s usually a very reactive character. Even when her actions are at their most disproportionate and least justifiable, they are usually at least somewhat motivated by Dib’s actions… unless the implication is that the reason why she’s here in the first place is because Dib dragged her out here to be his lookout and she's looking at a way to get back at him for that.

That scenario feels most likely to me, and obviously that wouldn't justify ratting out Dib and enjoying his pain - to me it's kinda on the same level as getting Dib tasered and dragged off by security for stealing her Pizza... But also it's notable that this time, she actually gives up on the idea pretty quickly. If you wanna be charitable to Gaz, you can say she wasn't really serious about the security thing and was just making an edgelordy joke and honestly... with her characterization, I think it could go either way...

Interestingly, once she gets a decent look at Tak and her plans, Gaz becomes a lot more cooperative. I mean, she still grumbles about the idea of saving the Earth. But, like, she doesn’t argue when Dib says the disk is ‘theirs’ when she was the one who found it and she doesn't put up any resistance about joining Dib in seeing Zim’s base. Compared to how previously she’d at best be really abrasive about it and at worst would have tried to actively sabotage Dib and/or cause him physical pain as revenge for prioritizing himself and wasting her time.

That works very well with the idea that Gaz’s whole problem with Dib’s obsession is that she just doesn’t see Zim as a threat. Obviously after coming face-to-face with Tak, she can see she is much more of a Legitimate Threat to Earth than Zim is. So even if she’s not necessarily emotionally invested in saving the world, she can tolerate it a lot better if she can see that it is indeed something more than Dib’s extremely self-indulgent ego-stroking hobby.

"Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars"

Gaz finds Dib annoying, Gaz goes to vent to her dad about it, Gaz is told to give her brother another chance, Gaz finds Dib annoying again and just leaves. This is a very Mild Gaz compared to what we had in the previous few episodes, closer to my initial read of her. Like, she doesn’t even insult Dib to his face this time. She finds him annoying, so she leaves!

"Dibship Rising"

Well, I… have made the decision to not discuss Gaz’s attempt to destroy all mankind in length, even though Dib is, in fact, technically part of ‘all mankind’. I just think this scene is more about her relationship with her dad then it is about Dib.

Gaz: That didn't wipe out all life as we know it! YOU LIED TO ME, DAD!!

The actual crux of Dib and Gaz’s interactions in this episode are once again - Dib’s obsession with halting the Irken Invasion of Earth has led him to also inconvenience Gaz (this time, by causing a lot of noise and being late to dinner), and Gaz is, like, mildly abrasive as a result and ignores him a lot.

"The Voting of the Doomed"

Dib: Willy's a drooling moron! As sole defender of Earth, I've got to do something! Gaz: I wish Willy was my brother.

Yet another case of Gaz insulting Dib unprompted (since he was talking to himself rather than to her. She just happened to be within listening range.) And also another implication that her problem with her brother is that he’s embarrassing? I think that’s how we’re supposed to read that line? "Willy would be a better brother than you cause he's less embarrassing!"

"Gaz, Taster of Pork"

Okay, now this is the big one. This is the episode that I’ve seen a lot of people in the fandom cite as being, like, the One Where Gaz is Really Cruel to Dib. And, like, I’m not gonna pretend like Dib doesn’t suffer a Lot in this episode (maybe even past the point that I find it particularly funny to rewatch) - but also the dynamic going on is a bit more complicated than just ‘cruelty’?

Because this is also probably also the episode where Dib is at his most asshole to Gaz as well. I mean, he literally used her as a guinea pig (... pun not intended) to experiment with a spell he thought might be beneficial but was worried about the consequences for himself if it wasn’t… but apparently did not extend that worry to his sister - and thus, the entire conflict of this episode. Like Gaz is entirely in the right to be mad about being ‘blessed’ with Pig-Sense without her consent. Both with Dib’s false narrative about wanting to give her superpowers for her own sake

Dib: No! I only did it to give you super powers because you're the greatest sister ever!

And when she does actually learn the truth.

Dib: cast the spell on her because I wanted to see what it would do before trying it on myself!

Like, maybe that doesn’t perfectly justify taking and destroying Dib’s personal property, or potentially shoving mashed potatoes into his eyes, or repeatedly threatening him with her man-eating plushies, or encouraging a Pig Demon to punish him in some terrible supernatural Pig Demon way...

(While it would certainly be too much to ask Gaz to forgive Dib on the spot and advocate for him when she just found out he’s been lying about his motivations all along and used her as a guinea pig. The dialogue implications of this scene is that the Shadow Hog wouldn’t have done anything to Dib without Gaz’s encouragement.)

It's still important to remember that what Dib did to her was pretty terrible on it's own and was entirely unprovoked!

Then there are a few other factors to consider here, like Gaz’s constant violent threats towards Dib. Which I usually just chalk up to being edgelordy venting unless there is a clear indication of Gaz acting or considering acting on them (like with the mashed potatoes example above) because in most episodes Gaz is mostly all-talk and Dib usually does not take them seriously. But here… although we don’t see Gaz do even like a quarter of what she threatened to do to Dib - we do see Dib acting as if the threats are 100% real and serious.

Zim: I'm going to destroy you all, Dib! Today! I've got it all set up. Dib: Uh huh, that's nice, Zim. It can't be worse than what my sister's gonna do.

Which does make them feel a lot more 'concrete’ than in most episodes. Like maybe she would’ve beaten him up if they did fail to cure her or if the Shadow Hog wasn’t there to offer an Alternative Punishment Method for him?

But like… I think it’s closer to a proportional response than getting him tasered for stealing pizza or literally beating (a robot she thought was) him with her own two hands because he yelled in an annoying way? Like, what Dib did was really shitty and Gaz has a right to be upset about that on some level!

Then there is the other complicating factor - Membrane. Like, while Dib was Not Having a Good Time in that episode - up until that last sequence with the Shadow Hog, Gaz was suffering a lot more for a much longer period of time. The ‘Pig Mouth’ curse has cost her not just her ability to eat most foods but also most of her hobbies, her freedom, her privacy, her dignity. And it’s clear that she blames Dib - the catalyst of this whole event - for everything that has stemmed from it.

Gaz: You will pay, Dib! You will pay!

But even though what Dib did was certainly a Dick Move… like, it is Membrane and his scientist team that really did the worst by Gaz. Dib only turned to his dad out of a sincere belief he could help, Membrane was the one who decided to announce Gaz’s condition to the world and quarantined her for life and sold the rights to make a goddam movie out of her.

So if Gaz is lashing out at the mistreatment she suffered throughout this episode, she should be at least just as mad at her father as she is with her brother, right? But instead she seems to be totally chill with him, just eating pizza together. Even though his apology for her is honestly as shitty and self-justifying as anything Dib would’ve come up with.

Professor Membrane: Sorry about imprisoning you and turning you into a media freak, honey! It was in the name of science and... hey, where's your brother?

So I think that might imply that Gaz has a massive bias against her brother, causing her to channel a lot of unrelated frustrations just at him.

…Or maybe more likely a massive bias in favor of her dad. You know, she does love him a lot - to the point that ‘getting to actually spend time with him’ is like one of the few things that can get her motivated to get Involved in an episode’s plot. And she also has some serious reasons to be frustrated with him (in this episode especially, but also outside of it). And instead of trying to, like, untangle the complicated contrasting emotions she feels about her dad (a process which would be complicated and hard for anyone, but especially for an extremely emotionally repressed 11 years old), she just channels all of the negative ones unto Dib whenever possible.

Which, like, doesn’t make blaming Dib for things he didn’t actually do more justifiable, but it does make her motivations for doing so more complex than just “idk she hates Dib like everyone else does”

"The Most Horrible X-mas Ever"

And our very last Dib-Gaz conflict for the post! (I didn’t expect it to run this long I swear) Starring Bitey the Vampire!

Dib: You stare at that dog every Christmas, Gaz! Come on, already! It's creepy. Gaz: Three Christmases ago, that dog ate the head off Bitey the Vampire! You said so yourself! I haven't forgotten. Dib: Well, fixing an alien spaceship is hard enough without you distracting me.

The interesting thing about this conflict is how similar it is to ‘Gaz, Taster of Pork’. We once again have Dib being an inconsiderate dick to Gaz for the sake of an experiment and then lying about it to try and avoid her ire, knowing that her reaction would be both violent and extreme. Just this time instead of Gaz herself, it’s her treasured sentimental possession.

Dib: Okay, Gaz. I think it's time I told you. The dog's innocent! I used Bitey the Vampire for a teleporter experiment and switched his head onto a fly's body!

Which, you know, at least he isn't overriding Gaz's bodily anatomy this time but... like... Dib must've had so many other options for his 'Teleporter Experiment'! I guess that without specific details we can't know for sure, but I really can't think of any real justification why he would have to use his sister's doll for this experiment and not one of his own toys or even, like, buy something cheapo from the dollar store or something? Maybe you can come up with some explanation of why it had to be Bitey, but it really feels like another demonstration of Dib's thoughtlessness and inconsideration.

I almost wonder, if, y’know, the show wasn’t cut so short - if this was a deliberate attempt to emphasize this aspect of the Dib-Gaz dynamic for the episodes going forwards. You know, give some more justification and context to Gaz’s anger at Dib - even as her responses to it continue to escalate.

Although I guess beating Dib up like that in retaliation to ruining one of her beloved childhood toys and then lying about it for years isn’t like… the most disproportionate thing Gaz has done? I mean it is kinda bad, but also she has certainly done worse during the course of this list!

Also a quick shout-out to Dib complaining about Gaz distracting him by just like… standing in his vicinity quietly - when Gaz’s most common problem with Dib is him distracting her by talking at her constantly and generally being actually disruptive to her concentration.

(Some more general points in this episode are Gaz once again trying to abandon Dib at what he feels is mortal danger. Which, like most of these interactions could be read as her just underestimating Zim and thus not thinking he is in actual danger... or just legitimately not caring if her brother lives or dies. And Dib trying to take credit for Gaz repairing the ship, and threatening him with More Violence over it. First one is a pretty common sight at this point and the letter is a pretty quick interaction when they're both pretty jerky to each other.)

So… what is the main thing that I feel like I’ve learned from making such an extensive analysis? Well, I think in a way, all of those General Fandom Conceptions of Gaz that I talked about at the start… none of them were fully accurate, but also none of them are, like, entirely inaccurate either.

You know, sometimes Gaz’s reactions come off as mostly harmless edgelordisms, and sometimes they’re totally disproportionate and/or violent, sometimes her behavior comes off as reasonable or at least understandable, and sometimes she’s just another person in Dib’s life who wants to punish him for being weird. And there was an escalation in her actions over time, but it wasn’t really just in Season 2 - and it coincides with a whole lot of factors that make it more complicated than just ‘Flanderization’; the increased focus on both Dib’s negative traits and the comedy of his suffering, a general need for escalation with newer plots, and a need for her to be more involved in narratives - especially as her initial role as Someone Dib Can Talk To has become kind redundant as the writers have become more comfortable with the idea that Dib can just talk to himself like a weirdo.

The most… uncharitable reading is that Gaz’s characterization is just plain inconsistent. The writers didn’t have as clear of a vision of who she is compared to Zim or Dib, or maybe they just didn’t care enough to keep her in-line with the vision of what she was supposed to be - so her level of meanness, violence and hatred towards her brother just kinda fluctuate depending on the needs of the narrative or the joke, or what aspect of Dib's character they wanted to highlight.

Y’know, even though this was always meant to be an analysis of both Dib and Gaz’s relationship with each other - it also became a bit of a Gaz Character Analysis along the way. Because Dib’s slights against Gaz can fluctuate on levels of intensity, but they are very consistent in terms of reasoning and motivation. It is pretty much always a result of Dib’s Terminal Case of Main Character Syndrome … but also about his social isolation and general inability to communicate with others and the fact that Gaz, even at her meanest, is still more likely to tolerate him talking about his interests than basically anyone else in the world

You know, I do want to emphasize that Dib’s inconsiderate attitude can also be understandable and relatable in his own way, just like Gaz’s reactions to him. I ended up focusing on Gaz more and more as I was writing this post because I kinda assumed Dib’s motivations were more self-evident in the fandom both because he’s more of a main character and because he’s more open about his emotions compared to Gaz. And also… because it would’ve been too repetitive to go over “Yeah, Dib has a problem remembering other people have needs and interiority but he is also deeply lonely and desperate for positive attention” for basically every episode. Meanwhile, Gaz’s reasonings seem to… fluctuate a lot more.

I think my reading of the situation is a bit more positive than just ‘Gaz was written in a careless and inconsistent way’, because inconsistency… can also be a deliberate character trait. You know, a lot of people are kinda inconsistent in their reactions to things. There’s no reason why Gaz can’t just be characterized by her capriciousness. Especially when you consider the angle that she’s misdirecting some of her anger at her father or the world in general at Dib - so you’ve got maybe like a baseline of mild annoyance which is what she actually feels towards her brother in a vacuum. But every so often she is so much crueler because she is using him as a vector for a bunch of other frustrations and stress, some vaguely related to him, some not at all.

I think even the kinder Gaz we see in ‘Enter the Florpus’ can fit into that, if you take her words here not as just a statement of how she’s been all this time…

Gaz: Oh, uh, normally, you crying on the floor is hilarious, but come on. Dib: It's all my fault, Gaz. Why aren't you saying I told you so? Gaz: 'Cause making fun of you is no fun when you're this sad. You're my brother, man. I only torment you because I know you can handle it. I've done way worse than throwing you in a space prison. This is nothing. Get up!

And more of her, now seeing her obnoxious brother at his lowest point, suddenly coming to a realization that she doesn’t hate him as much as she thought she did.

And… okay, another challenge in analyzing all of these interactions is… I’ve been trying to look at all of the Membrane Sibling’s faults and flaws from as balanced a perspective as I can muster - but it’s also important to remember the context in which they exist. When I call out Dib or Gaz for being assholes, this is not necessarily a condemnation of their character. ‘Invader Zim’ is a show all about Flawed Messed-Up Assholes. And it’s also fundamentally a comedy show about the entertainment value in cruelty. If Dib wasn’t sometimes a selfish little egomaniac and Gaz wasn’t an asshole prone to violent acts of ‘revenge’... they just wouldn’t be good ‘Invader Zim’ characters, you know?

Really, between all the different episodes and all the times Gaz was more or less justified, more or less cruel… I think the overall picture that is painted of two very imperfect kids having understandable-but-also-shitty-reactions to the bad hand they were dealt by the world. Dib’s sometimes selfish disregard for Gaz’s interests and wants is maybe understandable considering how basically no one cares about him so… he might as well care about himself, right? And Gaz’s frustration with this disregard and constant egoism is also understandable… but also at some point it becomes kinda disproportionate. And sometimes it becomes really disproportionate.

And that’s just like… that’s just what the Membrane siblings are.

#invader zim #iz #iz analysis #dib membrane #iz dib #dib iz #dib invader zim #iz dib membrane #invader zim dib #gaz membrane #gaz iz #gaz invader zim #iz gaz #iz gaz membrane #invader zim gaz

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transmutationisms · 8 months

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never really gave much thought to it until now but it is so weird to experience disordered eating tendencies solely cause of food insecurity but all i ever really heard about it was how its related to beauty standards etc, and so i never really took ot seriously and developed some very shitty habits due to food inaccessibility.

do you maybe have some articles or anything worth checking out about that side of eds? thanks in advance, love your blog so much!!

When the researchers sat down and started analyzing the results, they found almost linear correlations between eating disorder symptoms and food insecurity. A replication study in 2019, conducted in an even larger population at the same food bank, found almost identical results. “It was some of the saddest and most beautiful data that I had ever seen,” Becker said.

Her work challenged preconceptions about what eating disorders actually were.

Singh, the New York dietician, said those preconceptions stem from the fact that people who have eating disorders and can afford to seek help tend to be wealthier. And most research is done on patients who show up in clinics.

Food insecurity never even entered the picture of how psychology and psychiatry conceptualized an eating disorder, Singh said. As a result, starving yourself to lose weight was considered a disorder, but no one thought about starving yourself to ensure your family had enough to eat.

Results suggested that individuals in the child hunger insecure group had the highest levels of eating disorder symptoms. Seventeen percent of individuals in this group had a clinically significant eating disorder, compared with 9.4% in the food insecure group, 2.6% in the household food insecure group, and 2.9% in the not food insecure group. Binge eating, overeating, night eating (waking up to eat a large amount of food with distress at night), vomiting, laxative/water pill use, skipping at least two meals in a row, exercising harder than usual because of eating too much food, and weight/shape concerns were all more common in the child hunger food insecure group than the other three groups. There were no differences between groups for the eating disorder symptoms based on sex, race, or ethnicity. Similarly, internalized weight stigma and worry was greatest in the child hunger group.

There are several implications for this study. First, these data reiterate that eating disorders do not discriminate on the basis of socioeconomic status. Individuals who are food insecure need to be considered in future research in order to fully understand risks that are specific to this population (e.g., food restriction for any reason). Second, prevention, intervention, and treatment programs need to be designed so they can reach individuals who do not have the money to access these programs. For example, current treatments for eating disorders are primarily delivered face-to-face with a trained clinician, which is difficult to disseminate to a wide range of individuals. Finally, although not directly assessed, anti-obesity programs may negatively affect individuals who are food insecure and overweight or obese, given that internalized weight stigmatization was high in a proportion of these individuals. Additional research in this population will be critical to better understand risk factors for eating disorder symptoms in this understudied population.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/eat.22735 (<-link to study discussed above)

Many people (incorrectly) believe that eating disorders (ED) are more prevalent in the higher socioeconomic status (SES) groups. Studies conducted in the 1960s and 70s corroborate this statement; however, their methods may have biased the results. Recent studies using health questionnaires distributed to large heterogeneous populations have shown that EDs equally effect all people, regardless of SES. These studies have also demonstrated that females of the lower SES group report higher rates of disordered eating behavior (vomiting, use of diet pills, diuretics, or laxatives as a means to lose weight).

#eating disorders

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ghelgheli · 3 months

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My own experience as a transsexual parallels the monster’s in this regard. The consciousness shaped by the transsexual body is no more the creation of the science that refigures its flesh than the monster’s mind is the creation of Frankenstein. The agenda that produced hormonal and surgical sex reassignment techniques is no less pretentious, and no more noble, than Frankenstein’s. Heroic doctors still endeavor to triumph over nature. The scientific discourse that produced sex reassignment techniques is inseparable from the pursuit of immortality through the perfection of the body, the fantasy of total mastery through the transcendence of an absolute limit, and the hubristic desire to create life itself. Its genealogy emerges from a metaphysical quest older than modern science, and its cultural politics are aligned with a deeply conservative attempt to stabilize gendered identity in service of the naturalized heterosexual order. None of this, however, precludes medically constructed transsexual bodies from being viable sites of subjectivity. Nor does it guarantee the compliance of subjects thus embodied with the agenda that resulted in a transsexual means of embodiment. As we rise up from the operating tables of our rebirth, we transsexuals are something more, and something other, than the creatures our makers intended us to be. Though medical techniques for sex reassignment are capable of crafting bodies that satisfy the visual and morphological criteria that generate naturalness as their effect, engaging with those very techniques produces a subjective experience that belies the naturalistic effect biomedical technology can achieve. Transsexual embodiment, like the embodiment of the monster, places its subject in an unassimilable, antagonistic, queer relationship to a Nature in which it must nevertheless exist. (...) To encounter the transsexual body, to apprehend a transgendered consciousness articulating itself, is to risk a revelation of the constructedness of the natural order. Confronting the implications of this constructedness can summon up all the violation, loss, and separation inflicted by the gendering process that sustains the illusion of naturalness. My transsexual body literalizes this abstract violence. As the bearers of this disquieting news, we transsexuals often suffer for the pain of others, but we do not willingly abide the rage of others directed against us. And we do have something else to say, if you will but listen to the monsters: the possibility of meaningful agency and action exists, even within fields of domination that bring about the universal cultural rape of all flesh. Be forewarned, however, that taking up this task will remake you in the process. By speaking as a monster in my personal voice, by using the dark, watery images of Romanticism and lapsing occasionally into its brooding cadences and grandiose postures, I employ the same literary techniques Mary Shelley used to elicit sympathy for her scientist’s creation. Like that creature, I assert my worth as a monster in spite of the conditions my monstrosity requires me to face, and redefine a life worth living. I have asked the Miltonic questions Shelley poses in the epigraph of her novel: “Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay to mould me man? Did I solicit thee from darkness to promote me?” With one voice, her monster and I answer “no” without debasing ourselves, for we have done the hard work of constituting ourselves on our own terms, against the natural order. Though we forego the privilege of naturalness, we are not deterred, for we ally ourselves instead with the chaos and blackness from which Nature itself spills forth.

My Words to Victor Frankenstein above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage, Susan Stryker (1994) [pdf]

#reading #gender

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melodyofthevoid · 8 months

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The Crane Wives Analyzed: Coyote Stories

(Yes I’m changing the verb every time I think it’s funny)

The mellower of the albums, this focuses on the self. Songs of introspection and reflection. From the firmly anti-capitalism “Hand That Feeds” to the melancholic “Never Love an Anchor”. It isn’t to say there aren’t any moments of intensity. In fact, the vocalists have moments of growls deep and hungry as the eponymous coyotes themselves.

Keep You Safe

It is human instinct to shield oneself from danger, from the fear of the unknown. The pitfalls of anxiety make any risk feel insurmountable and an eternity is spent looking from the outside in. The singer’s feelings took root in childhood, nerves keeping them from climbing trees in fear of a fall, of hurting themself. Believing that they weren’t strong enough, brave enough, weren’t enough to even attempt to try. Watching their friends from a distance as they made it to the heights that inspired such fear.

And then the thesis: Nothing in life comes easy, spoken from a father to a child. Being afraid of the world, of the future, it’s a security blanket. An easy escape that fails to fix any real problems, it won’t truly keep you safe. Waiting and hoping to just suddenly become brave, or strong enough, it won’t happen.

As the singer ages the fears shift, collecting over the years. Not limited to only heights and falling, but grander more existential threats. Fears collected from those around them, accumulated from the news, from loved ones, from friends, trapping the singer in a new web they fear they can’t escape from. They carry them, all of their untold regrets, all of the plans abandoned by the wayside, and remember what their father told them.

Knowing that mistakes will occur no matter what is one thing, acting is another. That first step can appear insurmountable, an eternal obstacle to one’s dreams and ambitions. Because what if? What if this step is a mistake? What if this leads to ruin? What if- What if. How can one say “come what may” when all their life they’ve let that fear paralyze them?

It’s no easy feat, it’s hard, and sometimes, you will fail. But some of the most beautiful parts of life come from those risks, and it’s worth it in the end to climb that tree, pursue that dream, try to be better, braver, because time will pass anyways. You’re no safer in the dark than in the light, so why not?

The Moon Will Sing

Often the Sun and Moon are tied together in symbolism as a pair of mutual lovers or siblings, each with their own beauty. But the truth is that the Moon is simply a ball of rock, reflecting the light of the Sun back to Earth. It doesn’t shine on its own. Forever caught in Earth’s orbit circling around the larger star. Waxing and waning, glowing a faint cold imitation in the night sky.

So too does the singer reflect their partner, a hollowed out shell that only feels worth when they’re with their lover. Being who they’re told to be, in spite of knowing that they at one time possessed the power to be anyone yet they let their partner, their sun, make that choice for them, guide them through the dark. Never once questioning their decisions. The slow guitar a quiet melancholy companion in their lament.

Their heart is empty, bare of any love, endless empty rooms of what could’ve been reminding the singer constantly and yet the weight of a decade’s worth of blind trust and manipulation leave them apathetic. Lying in the dusty bed with their lover wondering what it was truly worth. There’s the implication that they’ve both made their peace with the exhaustion, but it’s impossible to know how their Sun feels. Only the mutual acceptance that this is all that there is.

The chorus entreats to the Moon to sing a song for them, to share in their plight. The only being to understand their pain and tell their story. They know that they love their partner like the sun, bearing the brunt of their darkness and claiming that they had no light of their own. Yet who told them that? Their partner? Others in their life? Regardless of where the belief came from, they shine only –in their eyes– with the light given to them. With the person they’d become.

Perhaps emboldened by the realization that this relationship, who they’d become is not who they want to be, they confront their partner. Lamenting all of who they once were that they’d lost to their lover. Hoarded, implying a theft that’s left them without. All of the words bitten back over the years leaving wounds inside, they want to be themselves again. Have the fire and bite that they’ve so long been denied.

It’s a story without a resolution, a dance with no ending. A moon trapped in the orbit of a sun.

Allies or Enemies

It happens on occasion, a word slips out without meaning to. Maybe it’s been a long day, or week, a hard time in general. Maybe patience that typically let issues slide before ran out, and you let out a statement in closed quarters that felt good to say, yet it wasn’t genuine. Authentic. Yet someone overheard, and now it’s a problem. It started a fight, and you’re left with the question of what happens next?

The singer’s words are destructive, in their own admission, wildfires and weeds that spread far beyond where they started them. Plaguelike in their transmission. Perhaps it was frustration that tinged their vision red and let loose pointed insults, weaknesses they knew the other had but promised to never target. A threat they didn’t mean. They swear that they didn’t mean it, voice dropping lower before swelling again as they ask their partner to listen to them. That moment of weakness wasn’t meant to be heard, using the turn of phrase “you owe me ears for dropping eaves” to call their partner out for listening in. Asking for the moment to be forgotten before asking the titular question: are we allies or enemies?

The third verse reminisces on better times when an off comment or heated moment could be dispelled with a joke. Anger fizzling into nothing. Now it’s different, now the anger lingers and the air grows cold. They’re fighting now and it hurts, neither happy about the situation and the singer pleading for the “war” to stop.

Because the options are now to either give their relationship another try or to bow out, walk away from one another. And in spite of the troubles they’ve had, the singer wants to try again. They want to put the war to bed and love again, to be let in and try to remedy what’s been done. Still the uncertainty remains, are they in fact allies or enemies?

Unraveling

Love and loss run as constant themes throughout The Crane Wives’ discography, the latter serving as the origin of so much hurt. Formerly happy memories sour, the relationship that once brought out the best in you now falls apart. That support system shattering, especially if the relationship meant more to one party than the other.

In the midst of the journey, one can forget that there was ever a problem, as the singer recalls. Their first love a tailor, who took to them as though they were a project. Eagerly attending to their needs, “stitches neat and clean”. And now that love is gone, the work unfinished, and the singer is unraveling.

Each love following carries a different title, a gardener, a carpenter, each using their skill sets to fix in the only ways they know how. The gardener plucks away weeds and trims the excess, the carpenter carves a smile and sands down the edges, and each one leaves in the end. Each change that they made a source of suffering now that they’re gone. With the “weeds” plucked away and without a hand to tend, the singer is withering. The carpenter sanded the edges but those held them together and now cracks are widening.

The singer laments that they didn’t understand how much they needed those they were with, and while this may be a “taken for granted” statement, in the broader context of the song it’s a realization of how intertwined they became in their relationships.

Their last love married them, “tied me up in knots” or in plain terms, tied the knot. The line before that “kissed me once before he left” implies perhaps a draft or war, a brief love where the pair married before they were likely ready. He left, promising to come back home and then never returning.

A personal interpretation is that all of the lovers: the tailor, the gardener, the carpenter, the man, are all the same person. The singer lamenting the different aspects of him now that he’s gone. The “you” in “I never knew I needed you” could very well be singular or plural, but I feel that’s up for interpretation.

Hard Sell

Fun part of growing up, as I and others have discovered, is the fact that no one has it all together. Everyone’s just making things up as they go along to the best of their ability. Which kind of sucks honestly when you first hit that revelation. Because all your life you’ve operated under the assumption that adults know what’s going on. That people in charge have a plan. But no, actually.

And that makes life tricky at best. Much to the singer’s chagrin. Each day they get up and do their best to make something out of their lives, pushing aggressively on good days to buy into the “hard sell” of the way life is supposed to go. A hard sell, in marketing terminology, is an overly forceful sales tactic. High pressure and meant to close a deal. When things are going well, the singer can swallow the bitter pill. Most of the time there’s nothing they can get a grip on, it either tears into them or falls apart at the slightest touch. Moth wings and barbed wire.

It’s tearing them apart too, their voice stopping and starting in sentences as though on the verge of the breakdown that they’re warning they’re on the brink of. They want a respite, someone to come in, wipe their tears away and say it’s alright. Comfort is in short supply in a world obsessed with profits and success. Where not having it all together is a badge of shame.

They ask if it’s really just them who can’t get their life in perfect order? Is everyone pretending to have it all wrapped up in a nice little bow? They’re holding on with a loose thread of their own but they keep pulling at it. Trying to get closer to perfection or tear it all apart.

The compulsion to pick and tear at any flaw or imperfection comes with the desire to eliminate them. Because if you can pull away the holes, maybe there’s something worthwhile underneath. “A better me”. There isn’t, not one that can be revealed like this.

They plead for everyone to stop pretending for a moment, so maybe they could all be honest with themselves. Maybe then they could all actually figure things out. Be a little kinder. Or maybe not, and it’s all a mess regardless.

Rock Slide

A quick, breezy song, running fast and sudden as the titular event. A distinctly Folk™ aesthetic, the kind of song passed down and sang with a small town dance. It swings and swirls and then lets you go.

The singer feels the oncoming disaster coming from the mountain top, warning their lover that they’d better skip town and run before the rock slide buries them alive. They’d only just arrived, just planted roots but the singer insists they have to go lest “the devil come to claim them”.

It seems the pair have tumbled their way from town to town, and there’s something on the horizon that gives the singer reason to fear that their time is up and they have to go. Sprinting away without looking back.

Why are they running? What are they running from? The law? Are they con-artists? Is their relationship forbidden, and they have to go before they’re found out and killed? The line “that monster’s coming and it don’t care for you or me” seems to point towards the latter, with a pursuing force that will never stop. Sees them as less than human.

A brief song, one of a few on this album, but a fun one.

Metaphor

Ah the metaphor, that favorite of literary devices. A comparison that can dress up any subject, turning the mundane into the extraordinary. Blood red sunsets, the infinite diamond tapestry of the night sky, they accentuate, and in some cases, obfuscate. Like the lyrics in many of the songs in the Crane Wives’ repertoire, the singer relies on metaphor to obscure the meaning of their words. Dressing their language in borrowed phrases and secondhand expressions picked up from others to keep themselves apart, separate. Their intentions untrustworthy at face value.

Because sometimes it’s easier to keep cards close to the chest and become a character rather than let someone in. If one wraps themselves in enigma, then they don’t have to worry how others see them, they control their perception. It’s safe, it’s clean.

They keep no secrets, no skeletons in their closet, because instead they dig graves. They cut contact, they leave. Or perhaps they’re the one who’s been left before. Once bitten and twice shy, no longer willing to expose the truth of themselves for fear that it will be turned against them. They beg for you not to look too deeply into the words they say, to look at them for too long, lest you see the scars.

And again they acknowledge that they’ve honed their skills, stretching the truth into sweet meaningless fluff. Cotton candy, without substance and liable to fade away at the slightest touch. Untrustworthy, as they’ve made themselves to be.

The Hand That Feeds

The anti-capitalist anthem we need in these trying times. All the more relevant with the rising surge of unions in the United States in the wake of years of abuse from those in power. A personal recommendation, if you can listen to a live recording of this song, please do. It will make you want to yell and scream the song in tandem as a fair warning, but it’s so worth it.

It’s a tale as old as time, the dream of working hard, earning a living, and making it for yourself in America. Yet, that dream serves as nothing more than fantasy, an empty promise obscuring the harsh reality. There’s no escape from the rat-race, no reward for a job well done. Any and all hope dashed against the grindstone. Those who come home from their jobs howl their laments to the sky, forced to work themselves to the bone in order to even scrape out a living. Chained to their jobs, nothing more than mere animals to the greater system.

The chorus echoes sentiments of early work folk songs, coins clinking together in otherwise empty pockets. No real money but the bare minimum that makes noise in its lacking. It gives the song an aged quality, as though it came from the Great Depression where coins were often all a family had to feed themselves. Now pocket change can’t even buy a meal anywhere. They can’t stop the time either as it passes, generations stuck in the same cycles of poverty wages under the same circumstances and masters.

The singer’s family endured this injustice, their father having traded his youth, his heath, his dreams for the Great American Ruse. Selling pieces of himself for cheap to put food on the table. But he warns his child to take their own path. He wanted to give them a better life than the one he’s made. Don’t follow his example or they’d have squandered those years of work.

He taught them how to stand up for themselves, to not merely take what they’ve been handed and be grateful for the scraps. They deserve better, they are better. And the hand that feeds earns no loyalty, especially when it turns cruel and strikes those it deems lesser than. If you are a dog to them, remind them that a dog has teeth.

And so the child raises their voice, proclaiming that their freedom is worth more than a paycheck. That the empty promise of becoming rich means servitude to the rich. They’ll never have them.

Remember: you’re not a temporarily embarrassed millionaire. You have more in common with the man you see on the side of the road than you do any ceo. Any set of unfortunate circumstances could land you destitute. There’s power in numbers if the recent wave of strikes has shown anything. They rely on the man to make their numbers go up.

Remind the hand that feeds that it still has fingers because we let it.

Little Soldiers

Love, war, two subjects that go hand in hand. The ever dragging drudgery of attempting to salvage a relationship when it’s devolved into nothing but fighting. It’s a familiar subject for the Crane Wives, and herein is the aftermath. The words they’d used to hurt one another the soldiers in the war, each side dug in and yet holding hands across enemy lines. (Perhaps the war in “Allies or Enemies” finally coming to a close). Pretending that everything was fine.

The singer swears that they loved their partner once. The line repeated at a near yell, as if daring them to challenge this fact. It’s frantic, desperate. And yet all too exhausted at the end of the war.

Each side resorted to dirty tricks and low moments in their fighting. Their partner would offer their secrets to others and let the “dogs” hurt them, hounds of the war. And the singer would bring their grievances to every room in their home, never giving a moments peace and yet their lover would hold them at night anyways.

Now they’re left without their lover and they swear they were loved once. That it meant something once.

At the bridge they concede that the whole thing is a loss, but not out of surrender. They’d each tried to make it work, afraid to give up for varying reasons. They’d done their best. It wasn’t enough.

And it’s over, the silence ringing with the remnants of war songs. Boxes packed as their lover moves away and leaves at the end of it all. The singer fought tooth and nail until the end and yet… it was futile. Their lover already left. Perhaps the war was more one sided than they initially thought.

The imagery of war, the trenches, coming home in boxes, it brings to mind thoughts of futility. Wars that never end with no “winner”. No resolution. They affirm, quiet now, that they swear that they loved their partner once. Then louder as they face the aftermath of the war. Left to pick up the pieces.

Sleeping Giants

A song of awakening, starting off with the same rocking guitar from “Rock Slide”, both involving mountains. There’s a force rolling down the mountains, power rising in the land and rushing into their veins. Every aspect of nature from the moon to the trees are changing, there’s an uprising. An energy. Something is calling now, and it wants the singer to follow.

Another one with not a lot going on lyrically, but it’s a rocking good time to listen to.

Of Everlong

A short and sweet melody, a melancholy lament of only vocals. A soft lullaby reminiscent of older bluegrass. A song of distance and a journey. Mourning for a lover to let them go after they’ve died, because in the end they belong to them.

It’s a departure from their other songs, barely coming in at over a minute long, but it highlights how magical their harmonies are.

Not much to say here, but a pleasure to listen to.

Never Love an Anchor

Oh where to begin with this song. How does one describe a wound? A hole where a heart goes? Knowing that they hurt when they were meant to heal. A role they were never meant to fill and failed to live up to.

“On some level I think I always understood that these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever”. Off the bat the song hits with the self awareness that there is so much they could do but knowing that the attempt would break things, that they are clumsy. No skill to be found. And yet their heart it is “guilty not remorseful”. They keep this fact locked away but they know. They know that they’re failing, but don’t feel remorse. They fear their true feelings would be overbearing and thus keep them away, opting for neglect instead.

The singer is an anchor, keeping their loved one weighed down in their mind. So they cut them loose. Set them sailing away. Letting the distance grow until they couldn’t hurt the other anymore. A necessary separation that leaves the singer forever wondering. Stuck in what-if scenarios, unsure of whether to breach the gap between them or to leave it be. How are they doing now? Better? Worse? Do they resent the lack of effort or understand? Do they deserve that understanding at all?

The paradox of being “someone I have loved but never known”. How do you unpack that? It evokes so many images of moments where love could be shown but was said. Small actions never done to prove that love. The barest bones of a relationship there, yet never explored, never encouraged. Even the singer acknowledges this, wondering if they’re ever thought of, wondering if there’s questions as to why they did what they did. Never tending to a fever, never holding gently.

Others have spoken on the selfish nature of the singer, calling them cruel and callous. And they acknowledge this. And yet they wonder what the other thinks of them. Wonders if their failings outweigh the harm they might have caused if they had tried.

Then there is the final line. “And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you.” What else is there to say? That the singer gave up before ever fully trying. That they resigned themselves to not getting attached so they wouldn’t have to bear the heartache themselves. They are selfish, and they leave whoever the song is addressed to with that knowledge.

It is the failings of a parent, someone meant to love, the failing of a partner who doesn’t know and doesn’t want to risk themselves. It leaves the listener hollow, with the knowledge they did nothing wrong, but that they had no way of fixing something they likely threw themselves at in vain.

The instruments in the back only heighten the emptiness, with a soft melancholic guitar and light drums as the only accompaniment. There is no anger in this sadness, no entreating. Only the sound in the space.

New Discovery

A wistful wandering, that feeling that comes when the sun peeks through the clouds and breaks the fog. Expanding horizons broader than ever thought possible. If “Safe Ship, Harbored” lamented a shrinking horizon, then this declares a new journey. A yearning for more than what they have because they deserve more than simply staring at the water forever. They want to find something new, untouched, see beauty the world’s never known. What good is the world if everything’s already been seen? What’s the point of staying only within the known?

It’s easy to get lost in the repetition of life though, when the days roll by like an endless desert. Rolling dunes identical to the naked eye. Yet, one can continue through, seeing the path behind them, a reminder that they’ve come a long way and there’s further to go. Pick a direction, and go. Keep going, and don’t waste the work you’ve done up to that point.

The singer cries their hopes to the heavens, that they want something to be left for them, something new to discover, something more to life. Something waiting for them if they only try.

And of love, the singer wants a love that’s ever changing. That as the years go on, as age alters their bodies and weathers their souls, they want to find something new to love. To never fully know their lover and find a new way to love them all over again. There can always be more, if they’re willing to discover it.

#the crane wives #my writing #melody rambles #lord this took a while sorry folks #it's been a Time #hopefully I finish Foxlore and the singles before the next album comes out lmao #at least there were a few short ones in here that didn't take much #to no one's shock the first of these I completed was never love an anchor

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skaruresonic · 5 months

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I was going to make a broader overarching point about how IDW's version of the characters seem more interested in virtue-signalling than in proving their goodness through their deeds, but I got a bit tuckered out. Anyway. Tl;dr for the wall of text ahead: the games still win in this regard. By a landslide.

In Unleashed, Sonic can accept a sidequest from a little Mazuri girl named Yaya. Normally, Yaya is shy, perhaps even nonverbal, and will flee if you attempt to talk to her. It's rare to see her during the day, so when you spot her out in the open, cowering but attempting to communicate to the best of her ability, it's a clue that she wants something badly enough to risk her fears. After several false starts, Yaya manages to ask Sonic to get her a chocolate sundae. She doesn't explain why, nor do you immediately receive a reward when you give it to her. It's only later, after Yaya's mother recovers, that you learn the reason for her odd request. Mom was sick, and Yaya wanted to give her a sundae to help make her feel better. Despite avoiding you until now, she managed to swallow her fears for the sake of her mother.

It's sweet, as well as a humanizing moment for Yaya, her mother, and Sonic. As a good deed, it's nothing grand. Giving someone food when they're sick isn't nearly as lofty as air-dropping food to a nation in need, certainly, but in Unleashed, you at least see the tangible effect you've had on the people you helped. You just brightened the day of a mother and her daughter.

Through sidequests like these, Unleashed shows us that no act of kindness, however small or inconsequential seeming, is wasted.

Conversely, one of the... myriad reasons this panel rubs me the wrong way is that it achieves almost the opposite effect. The people of Mazuri are instead objectified. They're a monolith, a statistic, to help polish the Restoration's reputation to a sterling sheen. In this regard, they might as well be props.

We hear about this aid nearly secondhand, as it's something Silver, Blaze, and Jewel intend to do but haven't yet. All the scene is intended to do is make the Restoration look good, as though by mere dint of being called the Restoration, we couldn't put 2 and 2 together and figure it out.

The one time we're informed of their humanitarian aid, we're not shown it. So really, what was the point of bringing it up, if not to stroke the heroes' self-righteous boner?

Inaccuracies to the games aside (which is par for the course for the book), there's all sorts of... unsavory implications at play here. Blaze "was touring" Sonic's world when she happened upon Mazuri's plight. Because we're not given much detail other than "poor crops this season," we have to assume Blaze took some initiative to ease the situation.

Take a moment to think about this. Blaze hails from a water world. How would she know what constitutes sufficient crop failure to warrant shipping aid to a completely different clime than the one she's most familiar with? How does she know what "poor crop season" looks like in Mazuri? How does she know she doesn't have any biases about the way people in Mazuri should approach their agriculture? Does she understand they eat more than just crops, and sell fruit and broiled ibanga as well as confections? If this is her first time touring Sonic's world, how does she approach the government of its denizens? Did she do this respectfully? Did she confer with Mazuri's Elders? Did the people seek her help? Did they say Out Loud With Their Mouths that they'd accept her help, or did she presume their needs? We don't receive answers to any of those questions. She "was touring" the area when she saw a problem worth correcting. The thought starts and ends there. The people of Mazuri do not merit a voice or agency in the matter, because all that really matters here is that you know how virtuous Blaze, Jewel, and Silver are for helping the less fortunate in their time of need. (Which is really ironic, considering Surge calls Sonic out for speaking over her and Kit when they're standing right in front of him in the exact same issue.)

Add the connotations that Flynn frequently describes Blaze as "the imperial princess of the Sol Empire" instead of "duchess" or "guardian of the Sol Emeralds"... Marry them with the implication that she's butting into the business of a foreign nation when we don't know the specifics of their plight, they're just Objects to show us how virtuous our heroes are, and this whole onion of suckage starts to reek.

#fans don't look #fuck it I'm tagging it #long post

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askmerriauthor · 1 year

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Pokemon Violet - The Paldea League and Geeta

Man, Geeta has turned Paldea into kind of a shitshow, hasn't she?

Discussion/stream of thought rambling on elements of the game's story after the jump. Spoilers ahoy. This is about the story and lore implications, not about the combat-based mechanics of the Pokemon League.

The actual purpose and function of the Pokemon League throughout the various incarnations of the Pokemon franchise over the years have always been a little muddy. That's on purpose, I believe, as it allows more creative freedom for each version to define itself. In the earlier games, the Pokemon League was a sort of trial to prove one's worth as a Trainer exclusively. It had no impact on the lives of anyone other than combat-focused Trainers. As time went on and the stories became more complex, we saw the League turn into a more public element that had a greater impact on its setting. The Gym Leaders, Elite Four, and the League Champion became public figures of renown and respect. It varied from being local celebrities to even being something akin to vigilante superheroes. By the time we got to Alola (Sun/Moon), it was shown that establishing a Pokemon League is both A) something a region does entirely on its own for its own purposes and B) something that will put a region on the map. Having a League brings prestige and value to the area. This is never more overt than in Galar (Sword/Shield) where the entire Gym circuit and Pokemon League is a heavily commercialized professional sport that directly parallels fútbol here in the real world in terms of its popularity, scope, and money-making. As time has gone by, we've seen the Pokemon League become less of a rite of passage and more of a business.

The Pokemon League in Paldea, meanwhile, cranks that up to 11 and breaks the knob off. And that is to the utter detriment of literally everyone.

As has been frequently observed, the Gym Leaders of Paldea don't actually seem to like being Gym Leaders and certainly don't like the Champion, Chairman, and Creator of the Paldea League; Top Champion Geeta. She's their boss and behaves as such, keeping a professional and detached attitude toward them and everything else she does. The various Gym Leaders discuss how much she micromanages them and puts pressure on them for performance. On one hand, she enforces performance reviews several times a year that risk a Gym Leader losing their role if they don't meet her standards. On the other hand, Geeta ordered Katy - the Bug Gym Leader - to hold back and go easy on Trainers who challenge her because her Gym just so happens to be near to the academy where newbie Trainers might be discouraged if she was too tough. Geeta even controls what teams of Pokemon the Gym Leaders use. Larry is a Normal-type Trainer by his own preference, but Geeta forces him to use Flying-types later in the game.

We can be generous when we examine these behaviors, given how the Gym Leaders themselves offer a more gracious view of Geeta's behavior after you defeat them. They give the impression that Geeta's meddling is the result of a genuine, if poorly implemented, desire to encourage them and young Trainers to achieve more. I don't necessarily disagree with that, but it's also abundantly clear that Geeta is running Paldea into the ground and actively abusing everyone around her in the process. Young Trainers included.

Despite the Gym Leaders having that as their job, it's also a point worth noting that it's not their only job. Every Gym Leader has another job - they run a bakery, are a professional artist, a livestream internet celebrity, or pull double/triple duty within the League itself. Larry is simultaneously a Gym Leader, a member of the Elite Four, and some form of administrative agent within the League. And, yes, he is exactly as exhausted, over-worked, and spiritually beaten down as one would think. It's never explicitly stated why this is the case, but it's clear that being a Gym Leader doesn't pay the bills. As in, Geeta is not paying her employees sufficiently to make a living in the amazingly generous and socially supportive world that is the Pokemon Setting. Larry makes mention of how Geeta likes to rope people into doing her work for her, or just working for free, which we not only see but experience ourselves firsthand.

At the beginning of the game, the very first time we meet Geeta, she's talking Nemona - a teenage student who is not her employee - into doing work for her. At the end of the game, Geeta volunteers the League to aid in setting up a tournament, but immediately puts all the admin work on Nemona - to the point that Nemona can't participate in the event, despite battle being the one thing she loves most in the world. When we the Player become a Champion (not The Champion, A Champion - Geeta never surrenders her title as Top Champion and just bestows a lesser title on those who beat her), the first thing she does is rope us into doing her performance review of the Gyms for her. She also blackmails Penny into doing free programming work against her will to help the League. Arven, meanwhile, is not given any task because Geeta doesn't see him as useful, so he's specifically ignored as comedic relief.

On top of all this is the fact that Geeta is also on the Academy's board. She has a massive amount of influence over the school, its staff, and its students. This becomes a particular issue given how Geeta has fully integrated the Pokemon League into the local economy.

Something exclusive to Paldea is something called "League Points". This is a digital currency in-universe that can be used to purchase various goods and services from League-sponsored sources. That is to say, literally every market in the entire setting with the specific exception of individual auctions of rare items outside the standard economy. Even the student store and cafeteria use League Points. To be blunt, it's Company Scrip. The Player does things that the League wants done (combating Pokemon, trading in useful materials, challenging Gyms, doing research on Tera Raids, etc), they're given Company Scrip, and they then spend that Scrip at vendors the Pokemon League owns or subsidizes. Anyone with even a hint of common sense or a knowledge of history knows how this is an EXTREMELY BAD THING as a practice. Made all the worse by the fact Penny is able to very easily hack into the system and illegally produce/distribute all the League Points she likes, meaning it's not even a particularly well-designed system.

Going to the "villain plot", despite Geeta absolutely not being considered a villain and the story technically not having a villain at all: there's allusions in the game lore that Geeta is directly involved in the Tera outbreak plaguing the region - that is to say, a massive environmental threat endangering the entire population and region itself - and that she helped set it into motion for how it would empower the League. Tera Orbs - the proprietary and exclusive technology needed to use this game's gimmick - are held only by the League, Gym Leaders, and specific Trainers approved by Geeta. Using them is ultimately detrimental to Pokemon, Trainers, and Paldea as a whole, but that doesn't stop Geeta from distributing them as suits her needs.

Even going back to the earlier notion of looking at Geeta's actions with a generous gaze and giving her the benefit of the doubt, I'm left unable to reconcile that given the outcome. Geeta herself says everything she does is for the sake of making Trainers stronger and encouraging others to achieve great things. Yet her actions - both as a League member and personally - weaken and hinder everyone around her. The Player becomes stronger despite everything Geeta sets in place and for their own reasons. It's stated in-game that the vast majority of Trainers in Paldea never get more than three badges, and Geeta herself states that she's unable to hold back against anyone who challenges her because she enjoys the thrill too much. As a result, Nemona and the Player are the only other Champions to exist in Paldea since Geeta's been running the show. Also, not even beating all the Gyms is enough to qualify one to challenge the League; Geeta enforces an interview and, if you don't answer questions to their satisfaction (specifically to their satisfaction - if you just answer earnestly and not say what Geeta wants to hear, you fail), then you're denied access to the League outright.

On top of all of this? I know I said I wasn't going to talk about the combat mechanics, but it is relevant in this case. The Gym Leaders, the Elite Four, and Top Champion Geeta herself are... well, to be completely frank? They're weak. Like, laughably weak. Geeta has a team composition that doesn't make any sense and is designed in a way that intentionally sabotages her combat viability. I wasn't even significantly over-leveled or relying on clever strategies, and I utterly steamrolled every single challenge with just my Grass-type Starter Pokemon and the occasional swap to my Salazzle when I was feeling bored. I didn't even bother with type match-ups or using the Tera gimmick. Amusingly enough, Larry gave me the most trouble - he got two whole hits on me in the midst of his steam rolling. The Gyms and League are simply... weak. All because of Geeta's endless meddling. And even the characters themselves seem frustrated and resentful about it. For all of Geeta's talk about wanting to make Trainers stronger, everything she does actively weakens everyone around her and herself.

What we end up with is a Pokemon League that's centered around one person's goals and ideals, that's forcing everything and everyone around it to bend to that person's whims. All in a way that's actively undercutting those desired goals in the process. If Geeta is trying to make the Paldea League a major player for the sake of gaining a better standing for the region, she's doing a cataclysmically bad job of it. I really hope we get a lot more lore in the upcoming DLC expansion because Geeta's left all kinds of questions that really need addressing.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #geeta #pokemon geeta #geeta ruins everything

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rhersimp · 10 months

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Rating Every Monster in the first Fear and Hunger on how Hard they Fuck:

For the sake of simplicity, I'm specifically using this list only to talk about Fear and Hunger's Monsters. Gods both new and old won't be included, but humanoid or formerly human beings like the cavedwellers or Pocket Cat will be. Got it? Cool. I’m only making a part two if Miro sees this and demands it of me.

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1) Maneba - Something something tentacle sex monster joke yada yada. But for real tho, you'd probably get the same amount of sexual satisfaction jacking off into a plastic grocery bag in my opinion. Plus, talking to them reveals that they aren't very passionate creatures overall, so foreplay would probably suck. 4/10

2) The Guards - Probably some of the most intense dick game you're ever going to get in your life, provided that you survive it of course. Otherwise, they're pretty graceless, they can't dirty talk you, and you might lose one or more limbs. Not a great package deal for most. 5/10

3) Ghouls - Probably your most sympathetic option. The fact that they were once normal humans can abate some of the horrors if you're into fucking corpses. Not to mention that showing them love through marriage to become a more powerful being entirely. Truly a romance endorsed by Sylvian. Just keep in mind the corpse smell is there forever. 7/10

4) Lizardman – A beast for the scalies out there. These guys fight hard and fuck hard, but it's probably a little crude and simplistic. If you're a human, they're probably going to skin you alive at some point, though preferably after the sex? Don't overestimate the lizard tongue thing tho, it's not worth the hype. 5/10

5) The Night Lurch – There are just a lot of rapists in the dungeon aren't there? Like it's not just me? The dungeon must just be primo real estate to these guys I guess. Anyway, their spiny cock is probably a masochist's dream, and the extra prehensile cocks are def a nice touch, but unless you're a biastophile, they might come off a little too pushy in the long run. It would probably be a one-and-done and he wouldn't kiss you goodnight. 6/10

6) Cavedwellers - Despite the weird, semi-racist implications of their origin, I think these guys are real gentlemen underneath it all. They're likely very practiced from having nothing to do but fuck all day to stay busy, and they'd make sure that you got off before they finished. They've also got some incredible endurance, so they can wait out the long game if you need to. So long as you never attempt to have a conversation with them they'll probably love you long time. 6 or 7/10

7) Miner Spectre and Other Spectres– Something tells me that the combination of existing only as ethereal beings plus the downside of being in a constant state of bitterness and agony isn't a recipe for good head. 0/10

8) Mumbler – This is a case of 'don't judge a book by its cover'. It's sad too, cause they're constantly erect and they've definitely got the goods, but even without the explosion hazard they're pretty unwieldy and hard to smash, plus fucking them is just an increased chance of brain-eating syphilis. Also, they're just terrible kissers. 2/10

9) Greater Mumbler – Now this is a creature of charisma, of elegance and joie de vivre! Unlike their counterparts, they've really got everything going for themselves: supple bodies, sexual versatility, free will from the god of the depths. I really don't think you get much sexier than that. Yes, there's still the explosion risk and the brain illness to consider, but also consider the depthussy. High 7 to 8/10

10) Scarab – I mean, if you can talk to them it might be down to clown. They're pretty reasonable manners wise, so they'd probably try to make sure you were having a good time. There's just no real way to do anything other than hands and mouth stuff, and you can't even get them off as a thank you so the whole affair just feels one-sided and awkward (unless maybe they cum acid?) Don't get me wrong, it's okay if you do tap it, but if I were you I wouldn't brag about having done it, you know what I mean? 4/10

11) Moonless Guard – Considering that the reason this thing exists at all is because a guard convinced a moonless wolf to a marriage is probably a sign of what you're getting into here. Trying to fuck this thing looks like it comes with more downsides then up ones though, mostly thanks to a giant mouth that cannot suck or smooch you. Is the half-animal half-guard dick good enough to risk the endless track marks and the very possible limb loss? Eh. 4/10

12) Body Snatcher – This thing knows the human body inside and out for sure, and it can use its multiple arms to tickle your ass into willing submission. Additionally, as a follower of the depths, it can probably hit your prostate/g-spot pretty fast and hard. If anything, this guy is probably a show-off with how much skill its got. The only turn-off comes from the fact that it's more insect than it is a doll/humanoid puppet figure, and that's more of a matter of perspective than anything else wouldn't you say? 8/10

13) Lord of the Flies - They've good a lot of strong qualities for sure. Big and burly, fluffy, Gordon Ramsey's face, ect. They could also manhandle your ass real good to be really domineering if that's your thing. It's too bad that they're insanely smelly tho, cause unless you get hot for the smell of wet dog rot, you're probably gonna puke all over him and that might kill the mood. Still, if you can stomach the smell, they might be worth it, provided he doesn't just kill you on sight or whatever. 7/10

14) Uterus – You know, I thought these things were called mannequins before looking more into their origins. That was a simpler, kinder time of ignorance. These things were created by a very bad person for extremely niche sexual reasons. Yes, you can sex it up, but know that if you do fuck it, you've earned every bit of judgment and revulsion that comes your way babe. 5/10

15) White Angel – Now this is hunk, pure and simple. Not exactly everyone's first choice what with the lack of genitalia and their dopey-looking arms, but just look at the fucking build of this thing! This guy's prime material for rutting up against on a cold night for sure, and who says hand stuff is off the table completely? He looks like he's got a couple of malformed fingers he could stick up your holes. The whole 'him being born out of your grudges' thing is also incredibly sexy all by itself like c'mon. 7 or 8/10

16) Lizardmage – With the proficiency of the yellow mages and the lizardmen's strength you've got something special on your hands if you manage to swing one of them. It'd be an interesting challenge to make out for sure, but this is probably the closest chance you're going to get to suck and fuck a magic dinosaur. Don't you dare tell me that you'd pass that up just because 'you can't get into a comfortable position' or 'the whole affair feels a little too close to having sex with a horse' or whatever. Pussy excuses! I will actively mock you if you turn down this incredible opportunity. 7/10

17) Cavemother – If you tell me that all you want in life is to smash your frothy sex organs up against the Cavemother, my only response to that will be 'Good, about time'. This poor creature lives for the sole purpose of getting laid and if you make it your mission in life to help them fulfill that goal I think that says a lot about your good and moral character. However, this is definitely a charity project, cause I get the impression smashing this creature probably just feels like rubbing yourself down with beef jerky before you get crushed under their weight anyway. They do have nice tits that can be milked, however. 5/10

18) Crow Mauler – Easily everyone's first choice, and how could you blame them? This dude's got train engine hips that can body you in a minute and abs like a garage door. The fact that he stalks you through the dungeon determined to decapitate you in a single blow is just the cherry on top of it all really. Honestly, your chances of getting laid before he kills your ass are fairly low, but it really comes down to the kinda bets you're willing to take. If you manage to pull it off and still have a pulse you're a goddamned sigma chad beast. 10/10

19) Molded – If you've got a thing for fucking raw meat I guess these are your guys. The whole thing does vibe on like an ero guro type level or whatever. I just feel like you'd also have to be aroused by misery too though, cause these things are sad to just look at for fuck's sake. No hands, arms, dicks, or even a decent fighting strategy, they're truly pathetic. I mean idk dude, feels a little mean-spirited to entertain the thought even. 3/10

20) Blights – They're literal god dinosaurs that can fly around and eat your face off. You could probably manage a much more viscerally graphic and sensual 'magic carpet ride' scene if you were seeking romance beforehand. I'm not seeing much in the way of 'fun stuff to stuff your genitals in' however, and what's more, they kind've have a similar texture to the molded which is kinda ehhh. A unique choice and it'll give you an interesting story, but I don't see it developing into romance or much else after the deed's been done. 6/10

21) Cavegnomes - The cavemother's kids, but lord are they hella dumb. They seem so unenthusiastic about doing basic shit like even just engaging with you that I have a difficult time understanding where the apple fell in relation to the tree. If you manage to track one down and put your hot bod anywhere near them it's probably not going to last longer than a few minutes and you'll have nothing to show for the wasted effort. Good job genius, you basically just tried to fuck a bird. 2/10

22) Butterfly – Honestly fuck the cockroach king, what a fucking loser. The butterfly is sweet and has an earnest goal they're working toward. If the prospect of becoming their final form came through the two of you fucking they'd likely be down, but I somehow doubt the God of the Depths is that good-natured. If you're anything like me you'll probably want to baby him and make the whole affair very sweet, especially rubbing his lil wing nubs a bunch as you kiss his proboscis. If you are anything but gentle and sweet to the butterfly I will hunt you down myself. 7 or 8/10

23) Human Hydra – Now I know what you're thinking, 'Isn't this thing basically already just a big orgy ball of people as is? What will adding my weight actually do in the long run?' The answer is nothing! It's virtually useless! You'd have a better time losing yourself to the Sylvian bunny cult, cause at least they're not going to taunt you with COD lobby-level insults about your mom or whatever. 1/10

24) Black Witch – Just your average working-class gal living it up in the dungeon. Probably into some freaky pain-play magic stuff thanks to Gro-goroth so if that's up your alley then you're definitely in for a good time for sure. Not gonna lie tho, her lips look hella chapped and while I can completely sympathize (chapped-lipped girl gang for life), it does raise the question of how much bodily maintenance she's up kept to this point. Then again, you're fucking monsters in a dungeon so like…why am I even bringing this up? Whatever, she's got a mad sexy laugh. 7 or 8/10

25) Iron Shakespeare – The Statue of Liberty's sexy serial killer cousin. While kissing is probably off the table unless you like the taste of rusty coins, it looks like it'd be a lot of fun to spank his iron butt armor just to hear the 'PTUUUUUUUNG' sound that would come out of doing so. The fire is a bit of a hazard, and maybe you don't want to get too serious in the throes of passion as a result, but grinding up on some semi-warm metal probably isn't too different from your average night alone amirite y'all? 7/10

26) Trotur – This guy was definitely banned from most BDSM munches and it really shows. The dude does not have a safe word and does not care about whether or not you get off or not. Just a really horrible dom all around and I would not recommend giving him your Fetlife account. Like yeah, I get that there's someone for everyone out there, but I promise you that endurance is a finite resource and eventually this dude's 'I'm going to torture you past your human limits' act is going to get old. 3/10

27) Skin Granny – I'm just thinking that if that's what it'll do to your face imagine what it'll do to your foreskin amirite? 1/10

28) Salmonsnake – It's got good voring potential, and I imagine that its skin is probably very self-lubricating which gives it some points. The tongue also has some interesting capabilities, but truthfully, it comes across as a monster you'd have more fun eating seasoned than eating out. Then again, there's no rule saying that you can't do both, just make sure you tell people you fucked something closer to a dragon than an axolotl so that people will be more impressed. 6/10

29) Double-Headed Crow Mauler – I wish I could say that there's never too much of a good thing, but in this case I feel like you're not going to get a double dose of all the good stuff if you know what I mean. Still, it might be nice to have a partner coax one of the heads into some heavy petting while you go nuts on it from the other end. He'll definitely murder you both once you're done so it's absolutely worth the effort imo. 9.5/10

30) Red Man – Poor little guy, fuck Ronn Chambara's sadistic ass. This dude just needs some kisses and loving whispers and he'll be super sweet on you. It'll probably be the first pleasurable experience he's had in a long time, so don't take it too personally if he tries to smash you with his big fists at first. It might be kind've brutal foreplay, but patience and care will turn this angy boy into a gentle pile of salami. 7/10

31) Nameless – This guy is very much about quality control, so he's not going to let just anyone slob his knob. I like to imagine that he holds the exact same trials to bone him as he does to pass through the Golden Temple. Suffice to say the man (golem?) has high standards, very much so for what ultimately boils down to fucking a giant rock. Also, unless you're really into the taste of grit, this might be a make-out session worth skipping. 4 or 5/10

32) Old Guardian – A big ol' Alll-Mer simp, he's definitely going to play hard to get. Still, I don't see why that should restrict the guy from getting some game on in the meantime. Aside from his amazing fashion sense, I imagine that he and the Nameless are probably alike in many ways, the biggest of which being that they're both sentient rock people who probably fuck like rocks and have very high standards. The main difference between them is the patience of the Guardian, so chances are you can stand to fuck up a little more moves-wise around this guy and he'll be less judgemental. Well, you know, hopefully. 5/10

33) Harvestman – ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 10/10

34) Lady of the Moon – Normally I'd just chalk this up to being a Maneba on classy mode, but there's genuinely some sexual provenance here. She's got three very kissable faces and I imagine it would probably feel really nice to run your fingers through her tentacles. Sure, she might ask you to commit some child trafficking, but that's just the sort of trade-off you have to decide is worth your while or not! How far are you willing to go to get sloppy toppy off one of Rher's finest minions? And is anyone really gonna blame you for falling into the temptation? Probably, but fuck 'em. 8 or 9/10

35) Pocket Cat – Speaking of Rher's finest minions and all, I'd be remiss not to include the man, the myth, the legend himself. He's a gentleman, a man of consent and good standing and good breeding! It's too bad that you're probably too old for him in this go around, but again, I'm sure that for the small price of child abuse he'd be willing to give you a little peck on the cheek. Is it worth it? Yes. 10/10

#fear and hunger #fear & hunger #funger

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strings0fcontrol · 8 months

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Hannigram – Post-Fall (5)

"Will," Graham corrected, feeling the heat beneath his shirt teetering on the edge of explosion, while his armpits grew damp with sweat. Nevertheless, his voice retained its steadiness. He had made his move and now awaited a response.

Initially, no words emerged, but the line held steady, refusing to disconnect. Will had half-expected Bedelia to hang up, but her insatiable curiosity outweighed the risk of missing out on the sole opportunity to glimpse the impending threat that surely lurked on the horizon.

It evolved into a silent standoff, a contest of endurance in which he couldn't discern the passage of time. They provided each other with a peculiar form of companionship, their mutual loathing palpable in the silence, yet they remained dependent on the other's presence in this strange, unspoken alliance.

And then he heard it—a subtle inhalation, the precursor to her impending words.

"My patience for your twisted sense of humor is wearing thin," she cautioned. "Tell Hannibal that I hope he chokes on a pea. And the same goes for you, Will."

"You believe Hannibal would resort to prank calls?" Will interjected with a question that momentarily caught Du Maurier off guard, prompting her spontaneous response: "I'd assume it would be his style."

"Doctor Du Maurier, I assure you, this is no prank call," Will's voice came through with greater clarity this time.

"Then you have my attention, Will. Make it worth my while, … while I contemplate whether I should listen to you or disconnect," Du Maurier probed, her tone laced with cunning.

"If you hang up, you'll be left with uncertainty for the rest of your … remaining life. I can't fathom a greater form of torture, but it's your choice," Will countered. "You can inform Jack, or you can engage in a conversation with me and explore the possibility of reaching an arrangement that benefits us both."

"I'm listening," Bedelia conceded, her tone tinged with resignation.

"Is Jack also listening?" Will inquired.

"No," came the succinct reply.

That was a satisfactory response. It suggested that Hannibal hadn't surfaced yet, hadn't reached out to Du Maurier or shared any details with her either. Assuming she answered truthfully and this wasn't an elaborate trap set to ensnare him. Jack's cunning was undeniable, yet there lingered the possibility that, at this juncture, he had veered into the realm of paranoia.

"Is Jack aware of our location?" Will pressed.

"No. I'm beginning to question the purpose of this conversation," Du Maurier countered. "You've asked two questions, and I've provided two answers. Now, it's your turn." She paused, and the moment congealed into a heavy lump in Will's throat. "Is Hannibal with you?"

Her question carried a calculating edge that sent an almost chilling sensation down Will's spine. His head drooped, a nervous smile exhaled from his lips. He hesitated, inching closer to the speaker, yet his throat remained constricted, rendering him mute.

"No," Du Maurier had already spoken for him. The silence spoke volumes, rendering any response unnecessary. Will detected another sharp inhale on the other end of the line.

"Where is Hannibal?" she inquired, maintaining her composure, but her voice quivered with emotion. He could almost taste the tears welling in her eyes.

Once more, he found himself unable to articulate a response, and Bedelia comprehended the implication.

"You don't know."

The realization was a harrowing one, a waking nightmare for them both.

Nightmares were best relegated to the recesses of the unconscious mind, for when they materialized into reality, they had the power to disembowel a person's very soul.

Many had ventured into the enigmatic realm of dreams, but it remained a domain where most of the collected data proved as unreliable as believing in zodiac signs or the concepts of alphas and betas.

They were enjoyable to manipulate, these categories, serving as frames for our identities, allowing us to grasp the outlines of our own existence. Humans relished classification, yet some aspects of life eluded our comprehension. Regrettably, this encompassed much of our minds—the very apparatus through which we perceived reality. Our minds had a talent for tormenting themselves with questions that appeared too vast to dwell within such a confined space. What are we? Who are we? Questions served as a kind of supernatural compass, mapping the terrain of our mental landscape. We use our hands to feel the contours of physical objects, but how do we explore the unfamiliar? Through articulation. Questions were like probing fingers, seeking to grasp the essence and form of that which we struggled to articulate before our eyes.

What if we extended our grasp toward something beyond our categorization? What if our inquiries remained unanswered? A mind starved of understanding would, over time, toxify itself with madness. It would dissect itself, relentlessly carving away at its sanity with increasingly precise questions until there was nothing left to dissect and consume. A serpent consuming its own tail.

And now, here he stood, a Leviathan, the sea serpent, the Morningstar, a deity incarnate. The unyielding Hannibal Lecter, his hands bound and his gaze fixed upon the lifeless canvas of Will's countenance, repelling all of his inquiries with silence. Silence composed the cosmos' most haunting melody.

Days would pass before he could muster the strength for a trip to the hospital, and his unwavering stare at Will yielded no answers. Clutching his glass of wine, a sip briefly redirected his gaze from the somber window to Chiyoh, who observed him with a disapproving look, her attention fixated on the wine as if she wished her thoughts could shatter the glass. In this state, alcohol might not be the ideal solution, but it was the one that maintained his tenuous grasp on sanity. It provided just enough numbness to help him endure his weakness.

Icarus, the son of Daedalus, was born into the care of a skilled craftsman and inventor. Their imprisonment on the island of Crete by King Minos led Daedalus to create a means of escape for himself and his son: wings fashioned from feathers and wax. Daedalus issued stern warnings to Icarus, cautioning him against flying too close to the sun, which could melt the wax, or flying too low, where sea spray could weigh down the wings.

Icarus, however, succumbed to overconfidence and disregarded his father's advice. He ascended ever higher toward the sun until the wax eventually succumbed to the heat, causing his wings to disintegrate. The consequence was a fatal fall into the sea, where he met his demise through drowning.

Will, in contrast, had chosen to clip his own wings mid-flight, sparing them from a tragic end akin to Icarus's plunge. Instead, they found themselves ensnared by the sea's embrace—a merciful one, perhaps, or was it a cruel twist of fate, denying them a more poetic conclusion?

He refused to leave Will's side except when the necessity of a bathroom break compelled him to. Chiyoh provided him with frequent updates while maintaining a vigilant watch over the perimeter. He knew that eventually, either Jack or Alana would locate them, but the peril of moving Will in his current condition outweighed any immediate need for relocation. It marked the first time his mind had ever felt so wearied and burdened. Though he had endured profound despair during his time in Italy and after—stemming from the act of killing Abigail, leaving Will behind, his subsequent incarceration, and the knowledge that Will had attempted to forge a life without him—none of that anguish could compare to the weight that now pressed upon him. Every feather on his wings had melted away.

He had no desire to stir, to engage in thought, or even to draw breath, and the idea of food left him queasy. The sole tolerable indulgence remained the morning's coffee and the evening's wine, while the IV fluids provided the essential sustenance.

For a fleeting moment, he entertained the idea of indulging in the flesh of the Great Red Dragon, as if the act might breathe life back into him. Yet, he swiftly recoiled at the thought of savoring the spoils without Will. This was their communion, their sacred honeymoon. He couldn't partake in it alone.

Within his mental palace, he resided solely in the vast chamber devoted to Graham, cataloging and arranging every precious interaction they had shared. It was a personal museum, a secret sanctuary where he could navigate the exhibition of their shared moments. These solitary excursions within the chamber served as his lifeline, just enough to keep him tethered to sanity and breathing.

He sipped from the same brand of coffee Will drank, and later, the same brand of wine that Will had once gifted him. It was an echo of the bottle that had met its demise within these walls, just a few days past.

The world around him appeared frozen in time. Paradoxically, the vast universe continued its relentless dance of motion.

However. There might be merit in the notion of partaking in the Great Red Dragon's essence. His gaze shifted toward the kitchen. Will might be unable to eat conventionally, but he could absorb the essence through the IV fluids.

Hannibal set the glass aside and painstakingly rose to his feet, his injured side causing him to limp as he made his way to the kitchen. Chiyoh's attention heightened, a subtle shift in her posture betraying her uncertainty about what to anticipate. Nevertheless, she remained steadfast at her post, keeping a vigilant eye on Graham even as Hannibal disappeared from her sight.

She could hear the music, a sign that his ideas were once more dancing within his mind.

#bryan fuller #hannibal lecter #hannibal x will #hannigram #hugh dancy #mads mikkelsen #murder husbands #nbc hannibal #nbc hannigram #will graham #hannibal fanfiction #hannibal fic #hannibal finale #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfic #archive of our own

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jonathanvik · 2 months

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Starlight Dream - Chapter 61

“Please, be merciful,” a middle-aged man said, lowering his forehead flat on the cold stone floor, the embodiment of perfect supplication. “Dark Lady.”

“Hmph,” Seina snorted, her red eyes studying the whelp begging for his pitiful life. “Then you must buy it. What can you offer me in exchange?” In her view, only those with something worth giving deserved to live.

“I…” The man faltered, knowing the implications of his lady’s words. “My life then. Just spare my wife and child.”

“I accept this payment for your crime.” The man had foolishly stolen bread to feed his starving family. He’d known the consequences of taking such a risk. With a gesture of her hand, she beckoned him forward. While Seina could fog his thoughts with a glance, she’d rather someone submit to her willingly.

The man moaned as Seina drained his lifeblood, dripping pleasantly down her cheeks as she sucked him dry. The taste was beyond anything mortal food could offer. At least, Seina assumed so. During her mortal years, she’d only had the gruel the vampire overlords offered their slaves.

Far too quick, the feeding was finished. The man gasped as she released him from her fangs, languid, but alive. He’d be useless as a feeding source if she killed him. Contrary to the legends, a single bite won’t convert someone to a vampire. Only the offering of a vampire’s blood gave them the gift. While lightheaded, he’d suffer no other ill effects.

“Go and clean yourself,” Seina said, waving a dismissive hand. “I will summon you again when I get thirsty.”

“Thank you, Dark Lady.” Shamefaced, the man covered the puncture wounds on his throat with his ragged collar and staggered out, woozy. Seina scowled at the nickname. Unlike other vampires, she hadn’t abandoned her human name, a tradition she considered stupid. Despite her protestations, however, the nickname stuck,

“That was nice of you. You allowed the man to return to his family.” A voice said from a birdcage.

Seina snorted and flopped onto her throne. “A dead human is worthless to me. I gain nothing from pointless slaughter.” She just wished her idiotic vampiric kin understood that. What use was a dead world? Besides, he’d sacrificed himself to protect his family. Seina admired that greatly.

The creature with fur whiter than snow studied her, but otherwise remained silent. According to him, he was a fairy from a distant plane called Starlight Dream. She’d caught him trying to free some slaves and kept him as a pet. Silly, but Seina loved cute things. He was a pleasant change from her castle’s rather drab interior, with its gray stone walls and gloomy atmosphere. He was like the sun, the closest she’d ever get to glimpsing it again.

“I hope that’s the last of them.” She hated being forced to solve every little problem that her minions brought before her.

“Colten, tell me a story,” Seina said suddenly. “Anything will do.”

“Sure. Suppose I have little else to do.” Colten said, grumbling to himself. “If I’d known I’d be forced to suffer this indignity, I’d have stayed in Starlight Dream!”

“Which I’d love to hear more about,” Seina said, sitting straighter. “Tell me more about this mysterious tower that extends across the multiverse. Where’d it come from?”

“What’s to say?” The fairy replied. “Nobody knows where the Needle of the Cosmos comes from. Some say it originates from the multiverse’s dawn, a pillar that holds the entirety of the multiverse together. Others claim it’s a memorial for the ancient queen when fairies were first given their stewardship as the terrors of the cosmos.”

“Terrors, huh?” Seina snorted, amused. Colten didn’t have a bad bone in his body. Was he an exception to his species? Seina sympathized.

“Supposedly.” Colten offered a shrug.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here, regardless.”

“Why?” Colten raised an eyebrow.

“Because these other fairies sound dreadfully dull!” And complete jerks. Like her own subjects didn’t offer her enough grief. Their needless cruelty was so wearisome. Though hating Seina for her magnanimity, they dared not rebel against her, fearing the Dark Lady’s terrible power.

“My throne room needs more color.” Seina tapped the armrest of her throne. “Flowers would be fantastic, but they’d wilt from lack of sunlight. Pity.”

“Then perhaps you shouldn’t have accepted the dark gift if you can’t stand the darkness?” Lothaire said, wearing a wry smile as he appeared from a shadowy corner.

“I suppose,” Seina said, somewhat forlorn. The light would never grace its presence on her again, no matter how much she wished otherwise. She suffered a particular vulnerability to it, unlike most high vampires. “What brings you to my domain, Lothaire? I didn’t summon you.”

“A slight problem.” The ex-vampire king said. She’d tossed him out when she’d taken control of the Earth, but he’d persisted, somehow worming himself into the vampire court. He possessed a useful ability, capable of bending time itself to his will. “A rebellion is stirring in Germany. While small now, it might burgeon into a full-blown crisis. What should we do, Dark Lady?”

Seina frowned, not liking the mockery lurking behind his words. They’d never gotten along, not only because she’d usurped him. She’d never been ruthless enough for his taste, arguing it’d only end with a dead planet. But he’d accused her of sympathizing with cattle. The nerve.

She paused, considering her next words, not wanting to appear ridiculous before her subordinate. Colten, too, watched her intensely. It made her decidedly uncomfortable, but kept her undead face stoic.

“Shall we cave to their demands? Make ourselves look weak?” He asked, baiting her.

“No, capture and execute the leaders,” Seina replied.

“And the rest of the followers?” Lothaire’s eyes twinkled with malicious glee. “Limit their rations and increase their work hours?”

“When they’re already desperate? That will only feed their unrest.”

“Oh, I see. We’re meant to care about the rebellious cattle, then? Throw them a party? Pat them on the head?”

“No, display their leaders’ bodies on poles. It’ll act as a reminder of what happens to those who oppose the vampire lords. But increase their food rations. It will remind them they only live because of our kindness.”

“Your will shall be done, Dark Lady.” With a mocking bow, the former vampire king left.

“Why do you tolerate that guy?” Colten said from his cage. “I’d give him a black eye for speaking to me like that!”

Seina snorted but didn’t reply. The problem was that all her vampire subjects acted like that. They resented this young upstart and the power she lorded over them. Only their Dark Lady seemed to care about what happened to humanity. What do they expect to do when everyone’s dead? While she could easily escape to another planet, most were stuck earthbound.

Damn it. I’m only a ten-year-old girl. Taking Kaguya’s recommendation to rule this world was a mistake.

“Revenge for how this planet treated me, my butt!” Seina said, stewing in her frustration. “You owe me for this, Kaguya.” Her mistress was off gallivanting around the cosmos while she was stuck here.

“Whatever.” Seina clicked on her TV set, which sat across her throne. Maybe some Disney movies would cheer her up. “Any recommendations, Colten?”

“We’ve seen The Little Mermaid a billion times! How about an action movie with plenty of explosions!” Colten said, knowing her tastes too well. What was wrong with her favorite movie?

“That works, I suppose.” Unfortunately, most of the DVDs were American, many without Japanese subtitles. Still, she’d make do, regardless.

“This is wrong; you must know this.”

“What? Sorry?” Seina said, turning to her throne room’s only guest.

“Huh? I didn’t say anything.”

Seina released a deep sign. She must be overworking herself. She was hearing voices.

“Nice operation you have here.” Someone said, slinking into Seina’s domain. It was a dark-haired girl she’d never seen before. Much to Seina’s astonishment, a dark-furred version of Colten followed in her wake.

“Who are you?” Seina said, peering at the newcomer with some curiosity. Unlike the other humans, she appeared well-fed with well-tailored, fashionable clothing.

“My name is Takako, and the magical girls of Starlight Dream are demanding you give an account of yourself.” The girl with the goth flare to her outfit said. Colten tensed when the girl mentioned Starlight Dream, further evoking Seina’s curiosity.

“Okay. Care to elaborate? My name is Seina Kamiyama, ruler of this planet.” She tried her best to impersonate her master’s aloof imperialism.

“What do we have here?” The black fairy said, floating over to Colten’s cage. “Is this a runaway fairy I spy?”

“That’s none of your business!” Colten snapped back.

“You shouldn’t be here.” The black fairy said, a cruel smile widening across his tiny, cute face. “Lieutenant Emiyo won’t be pleased. I imagine a terrible punishment awaits you.”

“No, this fairy is my guest and under my protection,” Seina bristled. She refused to allow his color to be taken from her life. For whatever reason, he seemed to understand her on a deep, fundamental level.

“Hey! You can’t decide that!” The black fairy said, indignant. His temper flared even hotter as Colten stuck his tongue out at him.

“It’s fine, Nier,” Takako said, waving a dismissive hand. “I hardly care about one lone runaway fairy. What damage could he possibly cause?”

“Why are you here?” Seina asked in her best commanding tone.

“Simple. The magical girls of Starlight Dream are the masters of the cosmos. It is our business to spread misery and suffering across the multiverse.” The magical girl said.

“Of course it is.” Seina rubbed the bridge of her nose. What was with everyone’s obsession with causing misery?

“You’re right! Why must they make things worse for everyone else?! Isn’t life tough enough already!” An indignant voice said, bristling. Again, Seina searched around but found nothing.

“We’re doing fine,” Seina said with a brittle smile. “This planet is under the vampire kind’s rule.”

“Yet your suffering quota has been decreasing. My superiors aren’t pleased.” Takako replied. Seina already heard Lothaire’s smug response at this comment. Had the ex-king known of the magical girls?

“If they have a problem, then that’s too bad,” Seina said, her smile unpleasant, not appreciating someone coming around and telling her how to run her kingdom. Even Mistress Kaguya didn’t presume to do something like that.

“Then this planet’s coming under better management,” Takako didn’t seem concerned whatsoever about confronting a queen vampire. What presumption!

“Typical Takako.” A voice said, sighing.

“Yeah, you haven't a clue who you’re dealing with!” Neir said with a sneer.

“Change Change, Magical Love Genocide Dress Up!” The girl produced a red brooch and transformed into a dress so purple it might be mistaken for black with blotches of yellow and green.

“Call me, Lily Annihilator.” With a flick of her hands, she summoned two pistols, one black, the other white, pointing them at Seina. “Shall we play?”

“Must we?” Seina blew out a weary sigh, not interested in picking a fight.

“We must!” Takako said, eyes alighting with mischief. “Are you just going to sit there while I butcher you?”

The mouth on this girl! Before Seina could offer a cutting retort, a loud voice interrupted their conversation.

“Enough of this! I’m getting bored. I want to play too!”

Reality trembled, its edges cracking like glass. It trembled again, even harder. Takako tensed as she stumbled, struggling to stay upright. Colten’s cage swung violently as the fairy clung for his life. The crack shattered and a girl in a bomber jacket stepped through the tear in reality. A cigarette hung from her lips, her eyes alight with glee. A fairy not dissimilar to Colten floated behind her.

“Who the heck are you?” Takako said, alarmed.

The mysterious newcomer cracked her knuckles and lowered into a stooped position. “Simple. I’m tired of Seina’s subtle approach. If you want something done, you do it with your fists!”

“Uh, what?” Seina hadn’t a clue what was happening anymore. Was this the mysterious voice’s source?

“Name’s Arisu Ikehara, the Wicked Queen.” The stooped girl said, taking another drag from her cigarette. “You might have heard of me.”

“What?” Takako said, her mouth agape. “Impossible! Isn’t she just a myth?”

Colten’s eyes bulged, sputtering as he spoke. “The Wicked Queen? The true terror of the Cosmos?”

“I am. And the legends don’t even come close to covering how badass I am,” Arisu replied.

“Okay.” Seina sighed, giving up. What was with today? “Are you here to complain about how humans aren’t suffering enough too?”

“Naw, I’m here to restore things to their proper place. And punch some faces in, particularly the Devil Princesses. Kaguya, in particular.” The delinquent girl said.

“What?” Takako snorted, astonished and incredulous. “Are you insane? Fight the Devil Princesses, the invincible terrors?”

“Yeah, but I’m worse. You coming?” Arisu asked the crack in reality.

“I better not.” Another said. Was it her imagination, or had Seina’s own voice said that? “Mr. Kiyojiro says it’s a terrible idea. Close contact with my other self would be disastrous! Crossing your own timeline is beyond dangerous.”

“Pity, sill it leaves them all for me!” Arisu said, her grin widening. What the heck was going on?

“You’re delusional. No way you’re really the Wicked Queen,” Takako said, pointing both her pistols in the other girl’s direction. “Stay out of this, vampire. This is my mess to clean up.”

“She’s just some fool cribbing on an infamous reputation!” The black fairy gave a dismissive snort. Colten, however, only watched the scene in fascination. He beamed as the delinquent’s fairy freed him, relieved to be free of his cage. Seina’s eye twitched in annoyance, but stayed put. Best not to lose her nerve. She could retrieve him later.

“Do whatever you wish.” Seina waved a dismissive hand and planted herself on her throne. This should be interesting, at least. She was curious what these magical girls could do.

Takako raised an eyebrow as Arisu stayed put in her squatting position, unbothered by two deadly weapons pointed at her. “You’re not transforming?”

“Against some half-baked magical girl like you?” Arisu said, snorting smoke from her nose. “Why bother?”

“Arrogant little.” Much to Seina’s surprise, Takako switched her black pistol to point at her heart. Before Seina could cry out in startled surprise, the dark magical girl shot herself. Then she vanished like smoke, reappearing behind Arisu quicker than the eye could trace. Twin weapons aimed at the delinquent girl’s head.

“Gah!” Takako howled as a fist implanted in her chest, she crumpled like a broken doll onto the floor.

“Impossible! You didn’t even…” Takako collapsed, unconscious.

“Wow!” Colten clapped his paws, impressed. “You sure showed that jerk!”

“No! It can’t be her, right?” Neir said, his voice edged with terror.

“Anyone else?” Arisu sent a baleful glare at the other vampires creeping in the shadows, drawn by the commotion. They fled like frightened mice under that intense gaze. “And you, Seina? What are you going to do?”

I’m losing control of this situation. I need to reassert my authority. “You are arrogant to enter my domain, magical girl. I am the Dark Lady, spawn of Kaguya Sawajiri, the Nightmare Dreamer. If you wish to challenge her, face me first.”

“Do you even know why you’re fighting?” Arisu said with a snort. “Don’t bother me unless you’re ready to fight for yourself.”

“Why you!” Worse, the girl had a point. Seina hated fighting, but she didn’t want to appear weak either. Worse still, this Wicked Queen knew how to fight. Seina had only been a vampire for four months. Even with her grand powers, she didn’t possess the skill necessary to fight her. Much to her considerable relief, a familiar voice entered the scene.

“No need, my daughter. I’ll take over from here.” Kaguya, the Nightmare Dreamer, said, appearing from a cloud of smoke. Behind her stood three other girls that Seina didn’t recognize.

“Finally. I was worried you’d run scared, Kaguya.” Arisu said.

In response, her sire only sighed, one of deep suffering. “Of course, you aren’t dead. Why would you be?”

“Me, never! Not when there’s a good fight!” Arisu replied, grinning.

“So, Kaguya was right.” The girl with the face mask with jagged fangs said, scowling. “There really is another timeline where you’d gotten free.”

“So what?” A girl with a maniac gleam in her eye said. “She’s suicidal if she ran here all alone. Four against one, Wicked Queen. And your little cousin’s not here to help you this time.”

“Fun! Fun! We get to punish you all over again!” A girl oddly wearing a fireman’s outfit chanted.

“It was foolish. But that’s never stopped you, has it?” Her mistress’s scowl deepened. Unlike the others, she didn’t seem as quick to dismiss the infamous Wicked Queen as a threat.

Arisu flicked away her cigarette and grinned, pulling a face mask over her mouth. “Me? Never? How about we start this party?”

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bloodgulchblog · 1 year

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Starship Troopers is an interesting book (note: I said interesting, not good or correct), and I really think most people don’t know what it’s like.

If you haven’t read it, you probably have some idea of the shape of it based on 1) the movie and 2) the sheer volume of things that were heavily influenced by it (or heavily influenced by a work heavily influenced by it, given that the thing is over 60 years old and is retired with grandchildren now.)

You would be forgiven if you naturally suppose that Starship Troopers would have a lot of military action and alien fighting. It seems like a pretty obvious conclusion to draw. Hell, that was what I expected from Starship Troopers when I first read it as a teenager.

Starship Troopers is, at its core, Robert Heinlein conducting an extended thought experiment about morality and government. There are actually very few scenes of military action, much of the book is consumed by characters talking about how parts of their society (and especially the military) work to lay out an incomplete sketch of a “utopia.”

And the end result is pretty fucking wild.

Strap in, gang, this is a long one:

Our protagonist, who narrates the whole shebang in the first person, is Juan “Johnnie” Rico. If Troopers can be said to have a plot, it’s a coming-of-age story for Johnnie. The first chapter is a relatively exciting (if you enjoy Heinlein’s style) 20 page jaunt in Johnnie’s boots as a cap trooper: a power-armored soldier who drops from orbit with his unit to fight aliens. (The original idea from which MJOLNIR armor and ODSTs would come from is exactly this.) After that, we record scratch over to you-may-be-wondering-how-I-got-in-this-situation and go back in time.

Johnnie lives on Earth in the space future. He’s a rich kid on the cusp of 18. His parents expect him to start learning to be a good businessman, so he can one day take over for his father as head of The Family Business. (I don’t remember what The Family Business is, and I suspect Heinlein never bothered to tell me.)

However, there’s a flaw in this plan: Johnnie’s very best friend Carl has been talking to him about enlisting for Federal Service. Johnnie has never seriously considered it, and his parents haaaate the idea, but the thought won’t leave him alone. He goes with Carl, and when they encounter one of their classmates (a very pretty and smart girl, Carmencita) who wants to become a starship pilot (because Heinlein really thinks he’s really doing something with having only women be pilots because they’re naturally “better” at it) it cements the decision.

This is where we hit upon the foundation of Heinlein’s experiment: The thing about Federal Service in this world is that it’s the only way to become a full citizen with voting rights. Most people (like Johnnie’s parents) don’t think the right to vote is worth the effort and risk.

(I want to let you know an extremely funny spoiler: Johnnie's conflict with his father is finally resolved when, late in the book.... Johnnie's dad enlists in the infantry too because his son was a much bigger man for it and he is so proud of him now and Johnnie is so proud of his father and we are clearly supposed to be cheered and enheartened by this wild fucking reunion.)

Heinlein would later argue in an essay that he was sick of people assuming that Starship Troopers’ Federal Service is always military, but… That very much is the implication in here and I think it’s fair to read it that way. The 18-year-olds are met with a recruiting officer with multiple missing limbs, who has the job because it’s supposed to give them pause. He even tries to warn them off, but they’re all very sure.

(It's actually like, really funny to me.)

BONUS ROUND: the doctor that gives Johnnie a clean bill of health talking about how silly and stupid it is to go in for Federal Service, and some extremely 1950s science fiction verification of documents:

Carmencita is sharp enough that she’s probably a shoo-in for a pilot and Carl has zeroed in on working with electronics since he was a kid, but Johnnie has never been a particularly good student. He puts infantry down as his very least preferred option for service (you don’t get to choose, you see, but placement considers your preferences) but quickly figures out they’ve decided he’s unfit for anything else.

It’s okay, though! He can still back out! There will be no consequences… except forfeiting ever getting the chance to vote.

The first half of this book concerns Johnnie’s training to become a cap trooper in the MI (Mobile Infantry), which is intense and full of opportunities to quit and also we get to hear Heinlein talk about how public flogging (with an actual whip) serves a super important social function in this society.

There's a Big Fucking To-Do when one of the men in Johnnie's class successfully punches their drill sergeant, which gets him posted up for 10 lashes and dishonorably discharged.

The thing about that, however, is how it gives Starship Troopers the opportunity to have Johnnie overhear a conversation about it where Sergeant Zim is trying to get transferred back to a combat team because he is so ashamed of this as a personal failure:

Johnnie himself fucks up bad enough during training that he is also flogged, but he 100% believes that it was Totally Good And Justified And Fine so it's Fine.

The back half of the book has some of Johnnie in the MI, but most of all it’s about when he decides to go career and goes to officer candidate school and then the big mission that determines whether he gets to be a lieutenant or not.

Style-wise the book is an easy and approachable read, but you quickly figure out that many scenes boil down to an older, more experienced man (usually a flashback to his one high school teacher, later usually one of his officer school instructors) lecturing Johnnie about how the world works, why it does, and why that’s so very good. (All of these characters have pretty much the same voice.)

Here are what I understand to be the central ideas that hold up the roof in this book:

1. A human being is, by nature, a selfish short-sighted creature uninterested in anything but own survival, and strict discipline is necessary to train somebody into being a productive member of society. (It’s pretty much the same thing as the Christian “people are by nature sinful” thing but Heinlein managed to turn it around into a “scientific” evolutionary biotruth mess for himself instead.)

2. Corporal punishment is useful because pain is the most evolutionarily natural way for a human to understand that what they’ve done is a threat to their own survival, so switching children and flogging adults is a Good Idea Actually.

(Bob....)

3. In this fictional world, the government is good because the only people who vote are veterans. This isn’t because veterans are smarter or superior or impossile to corrupt, but because sweating out a term of Federal Service proves that someone is capable of putting the good of their civilization over their own safety/wellbeing and that proves they have the right, mature, moral character to help make decisions. Heinlein really, really, really wanted to tell the audience here that being willing to fight for your country (and the women and children!) was the noblest thing a human being could possibly do and he spent a lot of ink about that here.

(Bob Please)

4. Emphasizing that people have “rights” and not making them work for them coddles them and makes having rights meaningless, and also what about all those ne’erdowells that will use their rights to make bad selfish choices???? Clearly this system would be so much better.

5. All the people in the service are So Good And Noble because Heinlein’s magical space military is so super good at weeding out almost all the bad eggs during the selection process, and if anyone Truly Bad is in there it’s an unpreventable freak accident (that should properly be resolved via execution, and they’re willing to do that so It’s Fine.)

6. An officer is to be the best of the best of the best as a human being and all of the officers we see are EXTRA noble and good because they love their people SO much and it’s so hard to be an officer but they’re all SO BRAVE and SO SELFLESS and and and and-

7. Imperialism and unlimited expansion are Fine Actually because if you don’t expand, you’re going to be expanded upon yourself by somebody else so you might as well, and all wars are Actually just about population and need for territory anyway:

(Bob please I'm DYING)

8. The alien bugs are a pretty stupid analogue for communists because Heinlein was fuck deep in the red scare at the time. Mostly, they’re an implacable brick wall enemy that we get to feel zero remorse about because they are So Incomprehensible And Alien. Also, the whole rest of Heinlein’s super noble space military doesn’t look quite so good when they don’t have anything to fight/if we might feel bad for whoever they’re fighting.

9. The best and happiest place for Johnnie in the whole universe is aboard his specific ship (The Rodger Young) with his specific unit (The Roughnecks) and every passage about his time with his unit between drops is dripping with yearning for this imagined perfect manly cameraderie. The death of his unit's Lieutenant hurts him worse than the death of his actual mother when the Bugs attack Buenos Aires.

But oh, Johnnie is definitely not gay, he waxes poetic about how beautiful and important and good women are at every mention, here he is talking about R&R on a safe planet and being Extremely Normal about the one guard posting on a ship where you watch the door to the part the female crew uses:

The main thing to know about Heinlein’s vision here in this book is that it is, of course, obviously completely bonkers. He clearly thinks he has figured people out and knows how human beings work. It's very earnest hard-sf white man nerd shit where he thinks that the problems of very large numbers of human beings are a puzzle you can solve if you put all the right pieces in the right place just so. He’s so excited about how he has invented this imagined future where women don’t face sexism and can do all kinds of jobs (while he clearly has plenty of sexist ideas about women on display) and people are not judged by their race. (Many characters, including Johnnie himself, are not white and there’s even a conversation where Johnnie and another character talk about how they both speak different languages with their families, and Heinlein is clearly convinced he’s writing a race-blind meritocracy, but also Heinlein does shit like compliment a Native American character by comparing him to his “scalp-hunting” ancestors like ???????)

Heinlein is so very wrong. He has a pretty poor theory of mind, which is easily evident because his characters are very samey and wooden. (I’m told this is pretty par of the course for him, and this matches what I remember of Stranger in a Strange Land. ) This extends to his inability to figure out why people do what they do, and his failures in that are how he arrived at these fucking buckwild conclusions. Is it any wonder his ideas about how to run a good society are fucked up when he’s operating from premises about humans being inherently selfish and the only possible reason to not just go along with The Rules is ignorance of their purpose?

Starship Troopers is dripping in rationalization. Starship Troopers desperately wants its military to be good and noble and necessary, it thinks that if it pushes around all the numbers of officers and men and arrangements of rules into exactly the right shape it can solve all the problems like equations and everything will snap into place and run perfectly and be totally moral and perfectly justified.

This is why this book was controversial, and why it launched decades of discourse in science fiction. The thing about milsf is that even if you hate Starship Troopers and want to read other milsf that hates Starship Troopers, it’s still in dialogue with Starship Troopers and the legacy of Heinlein.

I didn’t like this book for its content, I found it really interesting to engage with because of the connections I know it has.

BUT WE TALK ABOUT HALO ON THIS BLOG...

That's why we're here, so let me give you all a tour of various items of interest and relevance to our subject of hyperfixation here on bloodgulchblog dot tumblr dot hell.

Heinlein invented ODSTS:

The idea that has endured the most from Starship Troopers, more than any other (which is thankful considering what I've been talking about all through this post), is powered armor. Heinlein pretty much invented the space marine as a science fiction trope, and especially the powered armor:

When someone talks about a "bug hunt" when it comes to fighting aliens in a scifi story, that terminology was born here.

As you may have noticed here and in the section about Bugs: Heinlein's Terran Federation has the power to bombard planets with nuclear weapons to reduce the surface to radioactive glass, golly where have we seen that?

(See also in the bug section: a planet-cracking weapon called a nova bomb!)

Plus I would feel remiss if I didn't show you some of the naming scheme for some ships in this world:

...I'm not sure how to end this one.

I have a movie to watch, so I can finally comment on it. (The movie is controversial. Fans of Starship Troopers who agreed with Heinlein hate it, people who recognize how bonkers Heinlein's ideas are appreciate that the movie seems to understand this just as well. I need to go see it for myself. It's on archive.org if you spend 2 seconds hunting, if you also want to.)

I also have an anime to watch.

DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS AN ANIME?

youtube

This thing got a six-episode OVA released in 1988, right after Heinlein died and nine years before the live action movie. (It's supposed to be a lot more faithful to the novel, so I Will Report Back On This.)

Anyway: idk, if you also want to poke around in a weird dead thing, the full text of Starship Troopers is incredibly easy to find. It's less than two-hundred pages long. It will make you feel like you're taking crazy pills.

#not halo #starship troopers #heinlein posting #summaries of things

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