INTERNATIONAL TIMES NEWSPAPER
International Times Newspaper was produced by an underground counterculture press starting in the late 60s through the 1993
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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Full article here. Please give it a click to support this kind of journalism! (I snipped out the highlights for a shorter read)
The state of Utah in the United States has no citizenship requirements for marriage licenses, and Utah County is the only place there that allows international couples to register their marriages online. Since the county rolled out virtual weddings during the Covid-19 pandemic, it became a wedding haven for same-sex couples who are not able to officially marry in their own countries.
As sexual minorities in China face suppression at home, Utah County is allowing them to officially marry and celebrate their love — all for around $100. Although the marriages aren’t recognized in China, some 200 same-sex couples from mainland China and Hong Kong have gotten married via the county’s digital marriage license system since 2021.
For authorities in Utah County, the influx of international couples came as a surprise. The Utah County and Auditor’s Office moved its marriage licensing service online, as part of a digitization initiative in 2019. At the start of the pandemic, a number of couples requested Zoom ceremonies, and the county made those available as well.
The service first attracted couples in Utah, followed by people from across the U.S., and later, from all over the world. From May 1 to September 20 this year, at least 77 same-sex couples with mainland Chinese addresses have been married there, said county deputy clerk Russ Rampton, who oversees marriage licensing, to Rest of World.
Although same-sex marriage remains illegal in Hong Kong, under a different set of laws to mainland China, residents who get married in other places are able to apply for dependent visas in the city for their partners. Married gay people are also able to mark themselves as married in tax filings.
In his vow, however, [one marriage certificate applicant] Zhu said he was looking forward to getting married a second time — in China. “If one day our country allows this, I hope we could get married again in this country,” Zhu said to his husband before they kissed.
**
Marriage equality does not stop in the West.
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Tim lies, probably for the last time.
He's on his way to a date with Bernard, arguing with Jason about what restaurant is the best for the kind of vibe he wants, when a group of men in white suits pull up in vans and have him cornered.
They point what looks like a Geiger counter at him, and it lights up, shrieking.
"Are you Jason Todd?" One of them asks, leveling some sort of gun at Tim.
Tim, fully aware of Barbara's eyes through CCTV and the actual Jason Todd yelling at him on his phone, hangs up the phone and fully faces the man in white.
"Yes."
There's the click of a trigger being pulled, and then the world goes dark.
On the other side of Gotham, Jason launches himself from the couch the second the line goes dead, throwing on his gear and pushing the panic button he swore he'd never have a need for.
His idiot little brother did a sacrifice play, he doesn't know to who, and he has to go get the twerp before he gets seriously hurt.
Or: Tim, to ensure he would be able to do his mission after losing his spleen without succumbing to an infection, was given a shot of Lazarus Water without him knowing it.
This means that when the Guys in White go to hunt down Jason Todd, who they are convinced is a ghost and therefore the only being in Gotham that can set off their Spook-o-meter, and Tim sets it off? They think they've got their ghost.
Tim lies and says he's Jason, because he isn't sure what these people want, but if they're prepared for Jason then they aren't prepared for him.
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International QSMP streamers being nominated for the Streamer Awards, which has historically only had English streamers involved, really goes to show just how boundary-breaking the QSMP is. Quackity is succeeding at what he set out to do like crazy, and it's amazing to watch.
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