#the internet is the only place where faking being a marginalized identity would be ‘for clout’ lmAOO

[pencilscratchins]

are you ever worried people will think youre faking being gay for clout?

the people on this website once genuinely thought there was a genetic disorder that made you be born with purple eyes and no body hair. im not really losing sleep over whether or not they believe i have sex with women

#the internet is the only place where faking being a marginalized identity would be ‘for clout’ lmAOO #why do people feel the need to doubt every person who says theyre a lesbian? #is it the lesbianphobia? #oh it is ? okay #am i the only lesbian on this site who gets these messages or am i the only person who published them #lmAOOOO #ask #anon #not art #absolutely bonkers question thank you

[alex-seity]

Ironically, I’m still thinking about what you said that day.

For the past year, I’ve been getting myself into knowing people. The internet is full of wonders and there’s a place for everyone, even me, who was never good at this whole socializing… thing. Six years ago, I wouldn’t think I would have more relationships than I could count with my fingers. I didn’t even have a phone, and I was sixteen. But now I worry I’m not going to be able to keep up with my socials. That sounds so stupid, and it is completely beyond my understanding how I came to sound like a popular person… which begs the question: do I have lots of friends or am I just having multiple superficial, short term relationships? Or alternatively: how do time, space, shyness and sincerity work on the internet.

Time works very differently in virtual spaces. You already know the running gag of a meme or a trend dying a week after it becomes viral, but I’m not writing about that. I’m writing about the vertiginous speed at which you might be forgotten; not as a trend or as an influencer, but as a person. As a face. The weather changes quite fast in online chats, and people come and go as they please. And on that note, having a deep conversation with an anonymous account in a public forum is a strange experience, you feel both naked and accepted, both vulnerable and understood. That’s a friend you make and miss at the blink of an eye. Once, a person on those forums told me the most comforting words I needed to hear at that time: write who you are. Doing that made me able to self-reflect and find myself when I was deeply lost. I could never thank them, because, as I said, the rain is heavy and the sound is muffled. You never know when the other has left, or if they ever heard you in the first place.

It can also pull the strings of space, both closer and further away. I remember the spring of 2018. I went to Sweden and made three friends who all liked Homestuck; now, for the past years, I’ve managed to still talk to them through my phone. Isn’t that awesome.

And cliché.

So far yet so close, so close yet so far. And even then, there’s an impossible distance that eludes every metric. I’m talking about coldness. You see, even if we have everyone at the palm of our hand, we might not be able to talk to them sometimes. We have places to be and other people to meet, not to mention activities we like to do alone. Meanwhile, an ice wall seems to be rising between you and the other. Relationships get cold quickly. Or maybe that’s just me. “It would be too weird to call them now” “Does he even remember me?” “What do I talk about?” I have these questions because I worry I’ll be rejected. Fear of rejection: one of the most present on the internet, because fictional space means distance is made up too, which is a good thing since you can block anyone that hurts you, but a bad thing since anyone can marginalize you as well. Conclusively, we have full agency in what near and far mean; that’s both empowering and frightening.

Following the last train of thought, I see anonymity as a boundary in public space very few communication media have. Anonymity; this monster that seems to have shadowed all internet discussion. Let’s get this out of the way first, anonymity only exists as a concept. Even if you can fake an identity, there are parts of your true self that are impossible to hide. If you choose not to show your face, your voice still expresses who you are. If you express yourself only by text, your writing style informs of a surprising number of distinguishable features that make you up. Secondly, I’ve learned that being anonymous isn’t necessarily harmful. By one side, there’s those who use it to shield themselves for real-life consequences of spreading hate. By the other, however, and since you choose what is known of you, there’s the more general population that use it to be themselves while also being safe—they can be hurt psychologically, but never physically.

As expected of a place where people have control over the boundaries between the private and the public, people here show more honesty than elsewhere. No one can judge your body, your voice, or even your nationality if you don’t let them. Your personality alone may speak without fear.

Even then, coldness is still unavoidable.

Aristotle—sorry to pull this guy out of his grave, I’m a philosophy student and can’t help to do constant parallels—Aristotle wrote about friendship in terms of a space that surpasses another. That means you and I are not friends because we go to the same school, but because we want to meet later at the park. This, in online relationships, translates to “we are not friends because we play the same game or talk in the same forum, but because we call each other in Discord later”. Although there’s a joy in playing games with certain people, they aren’t always our authentic friends; the ground between gaming-buddies and friends is misty. This is why I met so many people, but not as many friends along the way. Most people I discussed this with had the same experience of finding interesting folk while playing a game, growing emotional investment toward them, and abruptly seeing them disappear like they never existed. So coldness is unavoidable, because when you face the uncertainty of the future, when fear of loss crawls by your back, it’s really hard not to build a shelter made of the thickest ice around your heart; not to escape having hopes, so you can’t have them crushed either.

I got myself into knowing people on the internet thinking it would be easier, but ultimately friendship is the same wherever you find it. Time seems to fly faster, but people come and go, so have fun while you can and cry when it’s over. Distance is fictional, but you don’t need to stay anywhere, be it here or in real life, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. And sure, this conception of virtuality comes in part from exploring it, and in part out of my own biases. There are things you might relate to that are ultimately subjective: this place is immense, its people, diverse... its "weather", strange. Everyone follows a different path. And ironically, I’m still thinking about what you, apparently a stranger, said that day.

You told me about the snow in Finland and the solitude of snowflakes, about friends long-lost and the impossibility of time. About cookies, both in a browser and in the oven; about humans, both stupid and wishful. Morning routines, favorite candy, nail ideas, the sun in Australia, the cliffs of Norway. We shared poems and songs, and I listened to your troubles and you listened to mine. All of these voices I’ll remember and consider my friends. Even if I lose them in the digital space, my arms will always be open to them, and to any kind stranger.

#internet of things #philosophy #poetry #essay

[epic-potato-crisp]

Intermission (AjinWeek2020/1)

Day 1: Favourite Character (Shimomura Izumi)

Note: Truthfully I felt bad choosing, as I have four favourite characters in Ajin (Kei, Kou, Izumi and Tosaki.) This OS focuses on Izumi however, she deserves light to shine. Enjoy! :)

…….

Career counseling goes a little like this.

“What would you like to do after school, Miss Tainaka? Where do you see yourself in a few years?”

“I don’t know.” Yoko pauses.

“Your grades are fine, although if you applied yourself more I’m sure you could produce even better scores. Looking at attendance-“

She drowns out the voice. She doesn’t even know if she’ll still be alive by then.

….

It’s cold and filthy. Everyone she meets is a stranger at best. She mistrusts, but she thinks it’s  essential for survival. Locking her door. Taking up offers that guarantee freedom despite repulsing her inside out. There’s a price to pay for everything in life.

“Be wary, Yoko.” Her mother used to say, “Not everyone is your friend.”

She misses her. Sometimes, in the quiet hours of the morning, she imagines her voice.

She doesn’t cry.

….

Death is blinking machines and hospital sheets. Death is white curtains and the pungent smell of antiseptic. Death is talking to a figure by her bedside that knows her name and plays her a recording of her mother.

She’s heard about the famous last moments one experiences. The movie-reel flashbacks. A wish for forgiveness. Inner peace.

Instead, all she can think about, as she drifts off, warm and letting loose, is how futile her endeavors proved to be.

She tried hard to vanish.

Now she’ll die with an identity, after all.

….

Yoko resets and Yoko becomes Izumi. Izumi takes on her father’s last name, and ironically, that’s as close to her heritage as she ever got.

Shimomura Izumi has a one-bedroom apartment in Ueno and a work contract with the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare. Shimomura Izumi has an immortal lifespan and a boss that holds her secret leverage against her. In theory.

In practice he buys her her first set of office clothes and essentials, and pays her a decent wage. She’s probably setting the bar low, she thinks. Not that she has much to compare too.

In practice they spend long hours together in what is almost companiable silence. A job that seems bleak and ordinary on the outside, and probably would be, if not for the horrendous documents she has to look at.

“Give that to me.” he says one evening, pulling a large, nausea-inducing stack of “Classified-Governmental” files from her desk. “I’m out of work, anyway.”

That’s a lie, and she knows it.  But she’s not one to turn down a good offer.

“You may leave for today.”

….

They capture Nagai Kei. Twice. The first time, Izumi won’t speak about.

The second time, it’s not only him, but also Nakano Kou, another Ajin.

The second time, they’re already one foot in jail, hiding out in an old military building in the woods.

“You should move in here.” says Tosaki, nonchalantly, turning away from the window where he’s observing the daily training rounds much to Nagai’s chagrin, “It would be more efficient.”

“Perhaps.” Izumi says, retaining a neutral expression. She is better off keeping out of attachments.

A few days later, she moves her spare belongings. She likes the familiarity and quiet of her apartment. But she prefers not being alone.

…..

Days become a routine. They don’t end until past midnight.

There’s a new, worn-out couch in their pseudo-livingroom, courtesy of Hirasawa and Manabe and a location they won’t disclose.

Izumi lies  down, sighing in bliss at the brief respite. Then, she picks up her accounting reports that glare at her accusingly from the side table.

“You’re going to fall asleep like this.” Tosaki objects when he comes in later, taking a seat at a table and throwing throwing her an amused glance.

“My rhythm works well into the night. There’s no reason for concern.” Izumi replies, writing small notes in the margins before angling for her calculator.

Tosaki scoffs, but bites back further comments.

When Izumi next comes to, the clock on the wall shows 4 am.

There is a pillow under her head and a light blanket thrown across her. Her documents have been neatly stacked on the nearest table.

She sighs, and, fighting the urge to roll over and sleep until morning, she heads to her bedroom, taking her work with her.

She finishes an hour later. Three hours later, she wakes up and makes Tosaki a cup of coffee he didn’t ask for.

 …….

Ogura is the only one who partakes in her smoking habit. They’re outside the hideout, sitting on a bench. Despite the time of night, it’s still unbelievably warm. Izumi slips out of her sandals and touches the grass with bare feet. A bunch of cicadas scream in the background.

“Wonder what he’ll be up to if he ever grows tired of burning down the world.” She says, sighing and stares out into the pitch-black night infront of them. They’re arrived full-circle at one of their favourite topics.

“Satou’ll never get bored.” Ogura objects, squashing his cigarette against the wall before lighting a new one reflexively.

“He’s a gamer, isn’t he? And he’s already streaming on his website. He’ll want to stay hip and go with the crowd. Not gonna be long until he opens a Youtube gaming channel.”

Izumi stares at him, incredulously.

“He would. It’s all the rage in the States. He’d pick a fancy name, too. Like…killer-grandpa-606”

“Stop it.” Izumi says, choking on her next drag.

“Murderous-maniac-xoxo.”

“Killers-with-Hats.”

“That’s a good one.”

Her knowledge of pop-culture has steadily improved, mostly due to Nakano’s influence, but also Nagai’s- although she would never put him on the spot like that.

…………..

They’re not supposed to use the internet, as not to leave traces on websites, and they’re most certainly not supposed to have social media profiles. Izumi senses a loosing battle far into the first few weeks. Does she have evidence? No, she would tell Tosaki-san blankly. She only has a hint.

(She personally logs Nakano out of his youtube account on multiple occasions.)

Instead, she calculates and sends emails with attachments, and installs a VPN on every single device she can get her hands on. That’s more than she can do.

It’s more than she knew how to do, weeks prior. Adapt, overcome.

………….

The name is a fraud. There’s no Yukimura Hifumi – none, that she knows of, at least. But she’ll need a fake I.D. one day. They all will. It’s a little like a vacation they can’t take, she thinks, surveying country maps for places to flee to. “I have an aunt in Kyoto.” she says, one evening.

“And she can be considered trustworthy?”

“She has dementia.” Izumi says. And a house that reminds her of vacations spend with her mother. And a backyard where the neighbours’ cats frequent.

“We’ll consider it.”

….

Somedays, she finds it hard to stand up. Somedays, she finds it easy.

On every single day, she pushes herself regardless.

“Good morning, Kuro-chan.” she says, like every morning, and opens the window.

She’ll make this identity her own.

#ajin #ajinweek2020 #shimomura izumi #izumi shimomura #ajin demi human

[mira-eyeteeth]

Captivating, pt. 2

I finally wrote the final part of this fic (part 1 here). Thanks to @ask-a-pale-experiment for reminding me to get this fic done!

-

Jack had somehow managed to drag himself to his feet and get through the following day while mostly not huddled in a little ball of misery.

Well, not significantly more than usual, at least.

It was only when he got home that evening when everything went wrong.

He'd just shut the door to his apartment behind him with a sigh when someone lunged out of the shadows to grab him and clamp a hand over his mouth.

His mind was racing, wondering how one of his enemies could have figured out his identity and where he lived, while his body was acting already, hands rising to touch his attacker and freeze the blood solid in their veins.

He paused centimeters away when the person spoke in a hissed whisper.

“Shh! It’s all right, I’m not here to hurt you.”

Piki. It was Piki. What the hell was Piki doing in Jack’s home? Had he finally figured it out?

"Don't worry, don't worry, it's just me. It's Piki," the man added, removing his hand from Jack's mouth and pulling off his domino mask, as if Jack somehow wouldn't be able to recognize him with it on. "Look, I'm really really sorry about this, but I promise that it's for your own good."

"Wh-what's-" Jack stammered.

"I promise I'll explain everything. But first…" The shadows rose up to swallow them both, and when light finally returned, Jack found himself in entirely different surroundings. It was a little room with a handful of furniture, two door, and no windows.

Piki let go of him, stepping back. "Sorry. Look, you're in danger-- Wait, no, not like that! I'm not going to hurt you. It's… It’s the Winter King. He’s a supervillain, you might know about him. He somehow figured out that I… ah, well, he threatened you. He’s dangerous, and I don’t know if he might decide to hurt you. So I need to keep you safe. Just for a little while! Once I figure out how to dispose of him, I’ll let you go.”

Jack just stared at him. This. This was the conclusion that Piki had come to. Jack wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug Piki or shake him for being a complete idiot, but he was leaning towards the latter.

Piki fidgeted, looking nervous. “I, er, I got you some books,” he added, gesturing to a stack of them on a bedside table. “Notebooks, too, in case you want to write. Let me know if there’s anything else that you might like, and I’ll see what I can do. With any luck, this should only take a few days. A week, tops.”

Jack doubted that very much.

“I… I’ll just let you get settled in. If you need anything, just knock on the door. The other one goes to a bathroom,” Piki explained, backing further away and slipping out the door, and closing it with a click of a lock.

Jack flopped back onto the bed with a groan. Well, this was a hell of a situation he was in. On the plus side, Piki hadn’t figured out about his secret identity. On the other hand, he intended to keep Jack captive until he murdered the Winter King, who also happened to be Jack. What the hell was Jack supposed to do about this?

He supposed he could always tell Piki about his secret identity. And in doing so, reveal his greatest secret to someone who hated his guts and would at the very least likely attempt to make good on his murder threat. Jack didn’t think it was likely he would be able to succeed, but if he didn’t kill Piki, and likely his brother, in turn, then Piki would likely reveal Jack’s secret identity to everyone he could out of spite. Jack’s life would be ruined. But he didn’t want to kill Piki.

He could wait until Piki and Pitch left to go hunt for the Winter King, and break out of the room. It wouldn’t be hard to make ice to pop the deadbolt out of place. But Piki would no doubt attribute his disappearance to the Winter King, and Jack would be back in the same position as before, unless he faked his own death and moved to a new town. An extremely less than ideal solution, especially as Piki would doubtless try to track the Winter King back down for revenge, if news of Jack’s activities made it past local headlines.

Or Jack could just… stay. Not exactly a sustainable solution, but maybe Piki would eventually get bored and let Jack go on his own. And besides, he was technically living with Piki right now. The current situation didn’t exactly match Jack’s prior romantic fantasies, admittedly, but this was a form of intimacy, wasn’t it? For a given definition of intimacy, at least?

Did Stockholm Syndrome work in reverse? Maybe Jack could talk Piki into having some movie nights together, while he was here. That would be nice.

Yes, this was a good plan. Jack could always think about longer-term solutions later. He was in no rush.

Jack went to go check the stack of books to see which ones Piki had picked out for him. He felt a rush of warmth when he saw that several of his favorite books were there, along with a smattering of works by some of his favored authors and a handful of books he’d had his eye on but never got around to reading. Piki had been paying attention to what Jack had been looking into at the bookstore, that was so sweet.

Jack picked up one of the new books, along with a blank notebook and a pen. He set the writing tools aside and settled back in the bed to start reading.

-

A careful knock on the door preceded Piki’s return a little over an hour later. He had changed into his street clothes and was holding a tray. “Jack? I brought you some food, if you’re hungry?”

Jack looked up from his book and smiled at Piki. He picked up the notebook and straightened up in bed, beckoning Piki over.

Piki seemed a bit surprised, but he set the tray down on the little table in the corner of the room and approached Jack. “What is it?”

Jack swung his legs over the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to him. Piki gingerly sat down beside him, and Jack opened the notebook so they could both see it.

Thank you for rescuing me, Jack wrote.

“What? I mean, you’re welcome, but to be honest, I didn’t expect you to see this that way,” Piki replied.

I know you wouldn’t have done this without good reason.

Piki looked surprised, and a bit skeptical. “That’s… very understanding of you. Thank you. Is, is there anything that you need? Anything that would make this situation any more pleasant?”

Would you stay with me for a while? I’m feeling a little lonely.

“Yes, of course, if that’s what you’d like.”

Can you tell me about your work? I’m sure that having superpowers and running around with heroes and villains must lend itself to some interesting stories.

“Oh, you have no idea…”

-

It had only taken a few days before Jack had managed to persuade Piki into a movie night. It had been easy enough to get him to stay; the simplest way to watch a film would be with a laptop, and Piki couldn’t very well leave a laptop connected to the internet alone with Jack, or Jack might use it to contact the heroes or someone else who would complicate the current hostage situation.

So now the two of them were half-reclined on Jack’s bed, propped up with pillows and watching the scene playing out on the laptop balanced on Piki’s thighs.

“Ugh, this is absolute garbage. This man clearly cannot act worth a damn, and don’t even get me started on the hack job of stage direction that the director is managing. Everyone involved in this production should have been fired,” Piki groused.

Jack smiled and shifted a little bit closer, enough that their sides were pressed against each other and Jack’s hand was half-overlapped on Piki’s. “H-hey, Piki,” Jack murmured.

“Hmn?” Piki made a questioning noise and turned his head to look at Jack. Jack took the opportunity to curl his hand around the side of Piki’s jaw and lean forwards, bringing their faces closer together. 

Piki’s eyelids fluttered closed, but snapped back open before Jack could kiss him. Piki jerked backwards, breaking any contact between them. 

"No! No, this is wrong. This, this is Stockholm Syndrome, or… or you're so afraid of me that you think that letting me take what I want means that I might not hurt you any further," Piki said, looking sickened. He scrambled to snap the laptop shut and lurched off of the bed, away from Jack. 

Jack was left staring at him, stunned.

Piki drew in a shaky breath and stared off somewhere past Jack into space. "This is going to taint everything we ever might have had. I…" Piki shook his head, wrapping his free arm around himself. “I'm sorry, Jack. I… Pitch will take care of you from now on."

Before Jack could say anything, Piki fled the room and shut the door behind him.

-

True to his word, the next time the door to Jack’s room opened, it was Pitch carrying the tray of food. “Here you go,” he said, plunking it carelessly on the table.

“P-P-Pitch?”

Pitch rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’m not going to hurt you. You don’t need to shake in your boots.”

“I’m n-not scared. This i-is just the way I t-talk,” Jack stammered out, hating the way that his mouth stumbled over the few basic sentences.

“Ah. Well, nevermind then. What do you want?”

“P-Piki. He’s… L-Look, can I just write it d-down?” Jack asked.

“Fine,” Pitch sighed, walking over to Jack to read what he wrote down.

Piki’s sad, isn’t he?

“That’s a bit of an understatement. Moping and maudlin and distraught would be better words for it,” Pitch replied. 

Would it be better if he was angry?

“I mean, he’d probably be marginally less insufferable then. Why?” Pitch asked.

Jack inhaled and braced for the loss of his career. Because I have something I probably ought to confess.

“What, do you have a boyfriend who’s a superhero or something?”

No. Jack wrote, then let the rime frost spiral down the length of his body, wrapping the identity of the Winter King around himself once more. Pitch gasped and stumbled backwards, breath misting in the air. By the time the transformation was complete, the shock had bled into anger.

“Oh, you absolute bastard,” Pitch snarled, before whirling around and flinging open the door. “Piki!”

“Pitch? What is it, is J-” Piki looked through the door and froze when he saw the Winter King. He broke out of it after a moment, stepping forward as shadows began to surge around his body. “What the hell did you do to Jack?!”

“He is Jack,” Pitch snapped.

“He- what? No, that’s not-”

“It is, Piki. It’s me. I’m sorry, I probably should have told you sooner,” Jack said.

Shock and hurt flashed over Piki’s face, before finally settling back on anger. “You… This has always just been some game to you, hasn’t it? Some hilarious joke, to toy with me? You must have been laughing so much at being able to trick me. Did you share the joke with your friends?” he spat.

“No. I really did, really do care about you. But I didn’t want you to see me as some helpless pathetic nobody. I wanted to impress you, and prove that I was actually worth something. But I didn’t go about it in the best way, I see that now. And maybe… maybe all you wanted was someone pathetic to look after. I don’t know. But that isn’t me,” Jack said, and sighed. “If you really want to fight, then I understand, but I don’t want to fight you, Piki.”

Piki growled, and seemed to struggle with himself. Pitch stepped up beside him, and Jack braced for an attack. Instead, Piki’s shoulders slumped and he stepped out of the doorway. “Just… go. I don’t want to have to look at you.”

Jack left.

-

When Jack got home, he set to packing up his things and preparing to move. It was only a matter of time before his identity hit the headlines, and then he would need to go somewhere else. Gotham was supposed to be nice this time of the year.

But it never came. No bounty hunters showed up at his apartment to try to collect, and nothing happened for days.

Finally, Jack received a note in his mailbox, one that had no stamp, though it did have a return address. It just said, We have a lot we need to talk about, I think.

#nightmare dork university #ndu #nightmare superdorks #stagefright #these two idiots #this is not the proper way to court someone #supervillain courting procedures are a bad idea #fic

[abri-chan]

A thing that pisses me off about the "Anti Crusade" thing that's going on... everywhere, is that it will make everyone ignore real cases of child abuse because, how will know if that person accused of being a p*do is really a dangerous person if everyone is throwing that label to people who draws teens kissing?

Yup-- that’s actually a common complaint. It dilutes the meaning to the point where actual predators (and there are such) can roam freely because we are always crying out wolf.

I’ve watched anime all my life, since I was a little kid, but I was never involved in fandom until recently. I am told there are always similar waves like this-- it’s not a new phenomenon. But social media makes it easy to amplify-- you can now spam on mass or hide behind a fake identity and send hate. And there’s the dilution of responsibility: if I said one bad thing to you I would feel responsible for it (kind of how IRL that shit wouldn’t fly). But if there’s a storm of hate coming a single comment makes me feel like I’m not responsible enough bc my contribution is minuscule. So as a single person I’m unable to understand how a single drop of hate adds up to a whole ocean on the receiving end of the creator. What you get is people that feel entitled and don’t understand consequences bc of how statistics play out in social media harassment.

These are people that like the narrative of doing activism but don’t want to do the actual hard work. So they pick the lowest hanging fruits: it’s easier to scream at people on the internet; creators who are marginalized to begin with, women, lgbt, and so on. That way one can pat themselves in the back that they are a good person and someone doing social justice work. In reality they like feeling superior and important and when creators fight back these kids hide behind: “oh but I’m but a minor, you the adult should know better”.

Speaking of teens kissing, a concern I have is that teens entering fandom right now may actually get damaging long-lasting messages from their age-group (aka where the antis seems to be at-- although there are some grownass antis out there). Can you imagine being 15 or 16 and you have sexual urges like many teens; let’s face it sexuality isn’t invented the moment you strike 18 (or the age of consent in your country). Kids as young as 12 can experience crushes or have their first kiss. There are kids who fuck at 16/17.

Imagine being a teen that experiences sexual attraction, and it’s healthy and normal for you to have needs. But these people make you feel dirty and like a freak for having healthy natural needs. How dare you look at teens kissing? How dare you read about teens fucking? How dare you ship them? Not only are antis bullying adults for drawing/writing whatever (why are you even in adult spaces in the first place?). They are also propagating messages that teens don’t have sexuality or sexual needs, and if they do it is wrong. It’s like religion 2.0.

I seriously wonder: do these people scream at sex education teachers for “lewding and pimping minors” since it’s adults teaching kids about sex?

#anime manga rambles #fandom #discourse #jojo #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure

[elegant-etienne]

have you met any friends in RL from rp? How did that go?

Munday Story Time!

I’ve met so many it would be hard to name them all! When I try to do a loose tally, it’s probably around 30-40 RPers I’ve met IRL from the various RP communities I’ve been a part of in my 20+ years of online RP. I’ve met about seven FFXIV RPers, not counting people I met IRL at other nerdy events that wound up being Balmung RPers! So, it’s not easy to say what it’s been like in summary, aside from the fact that a majority - a large majority - of people are just wonderful and lovely when you meet them face to face. Sometimes even people who wind up behaving abominably online. One thing I can say with relative certainty is I don’t think I’ve really met a person involved with any of these communities who is ‘strictly’ neurotypical, which is something I carry with me in every interaction with new people online and off. The community is more diverse than you might believe at first blush, and a lot of marginalized folk gather here, not just those who navigate the world from different mental settings than is considered the default. Considering the core aspects of the hobby, I don’t find it surprising. 

I’ve met more nice people than creeps, but I have met a few creeps. Honestly, it’s hard to gauge when it’s appropriate to offer to give a hug, because like - a lot of the time these are people we’ve known for years online! And now we even voice-chat. I’ve met so, so many people who immediately felt like old friends after meeting them. After I’d traveled across the country to meet someone who promptly dumped me, I took a train on my own to visit some friends in our community. They looked at me and said, “You need a drink.” We had an amazing time, with both of them showing me great local spots and letting me just cry and sleep on their couch and be a mess and vent about the whole thing. To this day I have an open invitation to visit their city, even though we haven’t RPed with each other in probably six or seven years. We keep in touch a little, and I sincerely hope I get to see them again.

But I’ll never forget a particular guy (not in this community) who insisted on a hug after we happened to meet/chat at the bus stop. There was nothing particularly physically imposing to me, in fact I’m pretty sure if I’d thought about it I could’ve tackled him down like a linebacker, but I had a total-deer-in-the-headlights reaction.

Here’s more dirt behind the cut, and also toward the very, very end of the story, some discussion of some very disturbing abusive behavior. I will note it before it begins, in case you don’t want to read that part.

This guy was a textbook narcissist manipulator: nerd edition. He’d act like he was your best friend and always doing you a favor but it was clearly just a way to control others around him. He wasn’t exactly doing the ‘nice guy’ thing so much as trying to look good to everyone regardless of their gender and create a bubble of love around him, making a big show of how nice he was doing things that didn’t actually require much effort (like saying nice things or giving people gifts or doing them favors they did not ask for). But, lacking any magnetism or charisma, he instead used that ‘niceness’, and then when that didn’t work, feigned helplessness and the pity of others to get what he wanted. For me, he also tried to lean hard on a shared aspect of our identities is the LBQTIA community - ironically in the way a lot of people try to when they’re outside the community and don’t understand it. Like, bringing it up just to make positive and admiring remarks about it apropos of nothing! Thanks for outing me on the bus, asshole. Don’t bring up my name on social media in hopes that I’ll make you look more legit, I’m not here to fight people’s battles, and I don’t always agree. This was over a decade ago, I think these days we’d call him ‘fake woke.’

So yeah, to be around this person was just constant discomfort. And I don’t think he knew. I think he thought we were best friends, and I legit feared him having a huge, self-destructive public meltdown on social media (or just… in actual public) if I told him off, so, I just cringed and suffered through.

He and his gf absolutely abused all the goodwill of some mutual friends with whom they stayed during a local con they traveled to. They apparently bought the badges and the tickets to fly out (he’d left living local to me to live with the gf) and had no money whatsoever for food. When someone is visiting a city and intending to be out at an event for most of the time, one would expect they’d have a budget for food. Instead, they loudly martyred themselves over not having anything in hopes everyone else would pay their way. Naturally, the mutual friends bought them some groceries, but it wasn’t up to their standards. I’m not talking about “they accidentally bought things they were allergic to” but they were picky about brands and so on. AND, they still expected the friends they met at the con to treat them.

This cumulated in an event I sadly didn’t witness, which was him throwing a fit over wanting to eat somewhere aside from where everyone else wanted to, even though he was being treated. Later that night, he called asking if they could stay in my hotel room - probably because they could resent how close our friends were to telling them off - and I said a resounding no.

I wound up being the only person who could tolerate he and his gf’s presence the last day of the con. I think I took them to a cheap lunch. They both made a huge fuss about how they loved me so much on the bus. And I was like, can I get a helicopter to take me to safety. Fortunately I did not see him face-to-face after that.

Here’s where things get disturbing.

He wrote this post throwing a pity-party for himself, feeling like he was a bad person, for assaulting one of his cousins when they were both children (he was older), and people not understanding how sometimes things involving that subject matter triggered him. Nothing about anything he went through, only this thing he did. WHAT. Naturally the community lost their shit over it and he wound up getting blacklisted all over the place. In the end, I told him off too, that he had no right to keep begging people to be sympathetic to him, and that it was in fact abusive for him to go to victims of similar abuse (myself included) and ask this be overlooked and forgiven about him. If he cared about victims he would have tried to make his amends to his cousin and not gotten any strangers on the internet involved, it was HER story, not his to get attention from. He had no right to ask for ANYTHING from ANY victim.

Ironically he blocked me a week later (I have to admit I kept him followed just to see what depths he’d sink to, which wasn’t healthy), because I sarcastically told him he didn’t deserve special treatment and to be allowed to have his phone on him in a no-screens classroom because he felt anxious after having a dream that something bad to happen. So uh. Yeah. That’s the one I think about and do a full-body shudder. That and the guy who acted very nice to me and all of my friend’s faces and then cheated on my best friend by sexting with a woman from the RP community who had the internet persona of a misandrist lesbian. Ew to him too, but I don’t think he ever demanded a hug from me.

FTR many of us were worried about his gf, and over the years tried to contact her and see if she needed help. I want to say I messaged her but it was so long ago I don’t want to take credit for having done something like that if I only thought about it and didn’t. If I did message her, I don’t think she replied. I think eventually she got away from him, but I’ve been out of touch with that community for awhile.

#ooc #bexyooc #idk why i told this story feeling talkative i guess

[serenastella19]

The psychological profile of the haters: understand them to beat them.

Anyone who uses at least one of the most popular social networks at the moment, knows this kind of people. Regardless of the topic, hate messages are very numerous on social networks.

Who are the haters?

With the term ”haters”, we intend to give a generic name to the authors of this type of message. Unlike classic bullies, haters hide behind a screen and often even behind a fake or invented name. This immediately makes it clear that most of the haters prefer to remain anonymous and that, in cases where they show their real name, they can take advantage of a legislation that is still immature with respect to the regulation of the virtual world.

Anonymity with a legislative remedy that is not yet ready means that haters can feel free to say and do almost anything. The concept of the internet as a "square" of free exchange of ideas often becomes - under this hatred - a banal and very sad theater of threatening offenses.

According to a survey of 2.6 million tweets, the most affected categories are:

• women - 63%

• homosexuals - 10.8%

• migrants - 10%

• disabled - 6.4%

The most sadly popular content, on the other hand, seems to be linked to sex, death and physical violence. This hatred can be divided into hate speech: hatred linked to general factors such as race, religion or political belief, and personal hatred: linked to trivial elements such as the weight of a person.

What lies behind this behavior?

First of all, we find the insecurity of the author of the messages. The insult, in fact, offers the opportunity to feel sided by the same side of other haters; or even to try to feel stronger, as in classic bullying. Immediately, the well-known "flock effect" takes its place, an excellent vehicle of identification in a social group for the authors, and an incredible avalanche of aggression for the victims. This phenomenon is called echo chamber.

The theory of social identification, studied primarily by Henri Tajfel and John C. Turner, asserts that the individual feels he possesses social identity only if he belongs to a group. Social phenomena such as racism and social marginalization find valid explanations precisely through this theory.

The interpersonal component also plays an important role in the hater phenomenon. There is fear, jealousy, dissatisfaction and sometimes an antisocial disorder. Insecurity, however, seems to be the predominant - and absolutely kept secret - element of the hater. Feeling part of a group, receiving like or fomented comments for his attacks brings a small amount to his great insecurity.

Elements like fear and jealousy are depreciated by a fictitious sense of belonging to other haters. This could be linked to the pleasure of being able to be listened to by someone, when in reality no one is willing to listen, or when certain things would be too extreme to say and would cost social losses.

Finally, it must be said that even in marketing, the hate circle is convenient. The consequent comments and reposts raised by the haters generate ranking and visibility. This means that no matter whether for good or for bad, the haters and their echo chambers become a very valuable help in increasing a person’s visibility.

One of the negative aspects of being a public and famous character, active on social media, is certainly the fact of being more targeted by insults and bad words by the so-called haters. “Le iene”, a well-known Italian television program makes services where famous people meets their most cruel and pitiless haters to counter and eliminate this bad phenomenon. In fact, when these people meet the characters insulted and criticized almost never have the courage to repeat the same words looking them in their eyes.

[sallymolay]

Brynn Tannerhill writes in The Advocate:

1. Who wrote it?

Would anyone take an article on how to deal with racial issues written by David Duke seriously?  Or an article on American Jewish history written by Richard Spencer? Of course not, unless they were a raging bigot to begin with. Therefore, you look at who the authors of anti-transgender articles are. [...]

2. Who does the author hang out with?

Let’s apply the white-nationalist analogy again. Suppose someone claimed not to be a white nationalist. They just write books and articles that white nationalists love and quote all the time. They hang out on white nationalist internet forums, and generally support the statements made by white nationalists in the comments section. They also give away links to free electronic copies of their works on white nationalist websites. Almost all of their followers on Twitter are white nationalists and people who really hate black people. Would you really take their claims of not being a white nationalist seriously? [...]

3. Where is it published?

Would you ever take an article published on Der Sturmer or Stormfront about Jewish conspiracies seriously (besides someone who’s obviously comfortable with their own anti-Semitism)? Obviously not — neither publication has ever had anything nice to say about Jews, and their bias isn’t hidden.

So why on Earth would you give any credence to an article about transgender people on The Federalist, The Daily Caller, Breitbart, or any other far-right-wing site seriously either?  None of them has ever had a nice thing to say about transgender people, and have consistently treated us as a public health hazard that needs to be removed from the public consciousness.

4. Does it blatantly misuse (or cherry pick) real research?

One of the quickest ways to spot biased and unreliable articles about transgender people is when they misuse actual research. Most commonly this occurs when they cite a 2011 study by Dr. Cecillia Dhejne to argue that medical care for transgender people is ineffective, or that it makes them suicidal. The problem is, the research actually says no such thing, and Dhejne has gone on the record saying that attempts to use it to make these points are both wrong and unethical.

5. Does it blatantly misrepresent the actual positions of people?

Dr. Kenneth Zucker is a problematic figure. He has been the biggest proponent of the 80 Percent Desistance Myth, and been completely opposed to supporting kids in any gender variant behavior whatsoever, even if the kids are otherwise emotionally healthy and happy. This is why he is frequently cited by people and organizations opposed to letting transgender and gender variant kids be themselves.

However, what they never acknowledge is that even Zucker supports the use of puberty blockers for adolescents (i.e. those who have started puberty) who are gender dysphoric, because in an interview with a conservative outlet he conceded that, “By age 11 or 12, trans kids are typically 'locked in' to their gender identity” and for them, “I very much support that pathway, because I think that is going to help them have a better quality of life.” (i.e. even Dr. Zucker thinks that kids older than 11 or 12 are unlikely to to desist.)

As a result, any person or article that tries to apply the 80 percent desistance figure to transgender teens are transgender teens is either ignorant, or lying. In either case, this makes it unreliable and unworthy of further consideration.

6. Does it misrepresent the positions of mainstream organizations?

One of the most common examples of this is the breathless assertion that, “They’re giving hormones and sex change surgery to 6 year olds!” “They” in this case meaning medical practitioners who fall under the World Professional Association of Transgender Health Standards of Care. WPATH sets the standards followed by the vast majority of health care providers who specialize in transgender medicine. These standards do not recommend blockers (a reversible intervention) until the age of 12 and hormones until the patient is 16. [...]

7. What organizations does the author represent?

Ask what organizations the writer belongs to, or is representing. Do they belong to a hate group, as defined by the Southern Poverty Law Center? Or speak for fake medical organizations that are routinely produce recommendations driven by religious beliefs rather than peer-reviewed science and medical consensus? If they do, they cannot credibly claim to be unbiased, or acting in the best interests of transgender people. [...]

8. Who does the article cite?

Does the article rely on sources that are biased and/or discredited? Dr. Paul McHugh would be an example of someone who is both biased and discredited as a source. Be able to describe why this source is biased or discredited. For example, Johns Hopkins has implicitly repudiated McHugh’s work by reopening the gender clinic. If the article relies on biased and disreputable sources to make its point, it's no good.

9. Does the article go against the scientific consensus?

There is currently an overwhelming consensus by professional organizations for mental and medical care providers on the necessity and efficacy of health care for transgender individuals. These organizations include the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Psychiatric Association. These organizations studied the matter in detail before taking these positions.

Thus, if the author contradicts all of these organizations, they must adequately explain why they are more qualified or smarter than the vast majority of experts who have studied the issue based on peer-reviewed evidence. Alternately, they must explain why all the peer-reviewed evidence is wrong (in a way that would survive peer review.) Otherwise, it’s merely an opinion piece with little in the way of (cherry-picked) research to support it, by someone with very few qualifications, and probably an axe to grind based on personal beliefs as well.

10. Does it substitute anecdotes for research?

Many of the articles that have come out recently about detransitioning and regrets are based on anecdotes, not actual research. This is because the actual research shows that when the Standards of Care for mental health care professionals is followed, regret rates are very low, and even then often caused by factors external to the patient (e.g. surgical complications, mistreatment, and abandonment after transition). Often, anecdotes leave out or ignore key details as well, which brings us to the next question you should be asking…

11. Are crucial details left out or ignored?

Here’s some facts about Senator John McCain. He joined the Navy, and tried to commit suicide as an indirect result of joining the Navy. From this statement, one could be led to draw the conclusion that the Navy makes people suicidal, or that McCain was mentally unstable, and should never have been allowed in the Navy in the first place.

However, it leaves out the key detail that he attempted suicide after being shot down, becoming a POW, held in solitary confinement for two years, and having his arms torn out of their sockets (leaving him permanently crippled) by his Vietnamese captors.

Similarly, most of the anecdotes about detransitioners leaves out crucial details. Chief among these omissions is that there seems to be a common thread that most of them did not have access to competent mental health care before transitioning, or did not avail themselves of it. Others detransition, but do not regret having done transitioned. Another frequent omission is that people often detransition due to being abused for transitioning in the first place. Systemic abuse can lead to very unhealthy mental states and poor decisions, whether by John McCain or a random transgender person.

12. Does it make unsupportable assumptions?

A prime example of an unsupportable is that transgender people can (and should) just stop being transgender because of higher health risks, as if it was like quitting smoking or eating carb-loaded snacks before bedtime. This assumption first ignores that the medical and mental health care communities regard efforts to change sexual orientation and gender identity as ineffectual and unethical. It also ignores the fact that the only people promising to “fix” someone’s gender identity are the same people who failed so miserably at “curing” gay people while using the same “embrace your God-given masculinity” snake oil. Or, conversely, it’s a lot easier to reasonably assume based on the peer reviewed evidence that if transgender people weren’t ostracized, abused, and legally marginalized they’d have better mental health outcomes.

13. Does it make unsupportable conclusions? And ignore the supported ones?

Examples of unsupportable conclusions in anti-transgender articles are myriad. Many of the anecdotes about detransitioners essentially conclude that no one should ever be allowed to transition (which ignores the peer reviewed evidence showing the vast majority of transgender people report improvement in quality of life after transition). A far more logical conclusion would be that people should have better access to competent mental health care providers, which is something the APA is recommending anyway.

14. Does the article make wild accusations and predict ludicrous outcomes?

Wild accusations (that have actually happened) include that accepting transgender people will destroy humanity, cause people to forget how to procreate, cause hurricanes and terrorist attacks, destroy legal rights for LGB people, and destroy the LGB community by stealing all queer kids and forcing them to transition.

15. Does the article imply religion is a cure for gender dysphoria?

This is a theological argument, and not a scientific one. If there was peer-reviewed evidence that prayer was more powerful than medicine, we wouldn’t need hospitals. Indeed, they’ve actually extensively studied whether prayer is any good at curing people (hint: it’s not). On the other hand, there is plenty of evidence that religious counseling and conversion therapy is harmful to queer people. The Bible has very little to say about transgender people directly, and what exists is contradictory. The Bible is much more clear on things like divorce and adultery. Indeed, the Bible pretty explicitly endorses things we accept as social evils now, such as slavery and polygamy. In other words, the Bible is a poor manual for setting public policy, and especially policy for health care.

Read the whole story!

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lfbtqa #transphobia

[pfs-peridot]

Acephobia, Allosexuality, and what it means to be Queer

I’ve been meaning to provide a comprehensive overview of the so-called “ace discourse” that seems to course through the internet every few years, like a UTI that’s survived 3 half-hearted trials of antibiotics, only ever fading- never dying. As an asexual individual that has been out in this world since the Year of our Lord 2010, there have been wild misconceptions surrounding this issue for as long as I can remember. Let’s start with some basics, just for fun.

Disclaimer: As an alloromantic person, I will not be speaking in regard to aromantics. Most of this stuff can be generalized, sure, but I don’t want to act like I know what it’s like to be aromantic when I truly don’t. Write your own analyses! Speak out! Smash the cishetallopatriarchy!

Asexual? Like a plant?

No, I do not experience a sexual attraction to myself. No, not all asexuals masturbate, nor do all asexuals not masturbate. I have never once woken up with a clone of myself nestled beside me, having reproduced as a microorganism would. These may seem silly things to think in this year, but this was the majority of conversation when I first began to come out. Figured I might as well get them out of the way early on.

Asexuality is defined as a non-normative lack of sexual attraction to anyone regardless of gender. “Normative” is a handy little word that means “outside of the spectrum which is considered “normal” by society”. For example, the construct of cisnormativity implies that being cisgender is the “normative” state for an individual to be. Thus, in the definition, you can hopefully begin to see what’s so queer about asexuality. Here are some more terms the community has!

Sex-positive Ace: An asexual individual who does not mind having sex

Sex-negative Ace: An asexual individual who would prefer to have no sex at all

Sex-repulsed Ace: An asexual individual who abhors all forms of sexual contact- for some, this includes activities like visiting a gynecologist.

Demi-asexual/Demisexual: An asexual that can experience sexual attraction once they have reached a level of closeness with an individual.

Grey-asexual: An asexual that experiences some level of sexual attraction, though not nearly enough to be considered within the “normative” range

Allosexual: A person that experiences a normative level of sexual attraction. Consider this term to be much like the terms “white”, “cisgender”, “abled”, “heterosexual”, and the like. It’s not that it’s necessarily bad to be this way, it’s just that being this way protects you from the discrimination that asexuals experience. Some dislike the term because “it groups me in with heterosexuals!”, but truly any adjective does that. I don’t see people saying “don’t call me white, it groups me in with heterosexuals!”.

It is truly not up to a bystander to determine whether or not someone is asexual. Personally, I knew that I was the moment I saw the term. Many said things along the lines of “Oh, you’re 15, you just haven’t bloomed yet”. However, I wouldn’t say that the analysis that you must be “of age” to identify as anything is necessarily true- Part of the reason I identified so heavily with the term was that I could feel how abnormal I was. 

My friends would talk about topics around sex, and I felt incredibly unengaged. I felt like the only person within my age group that felt the way I did. The sense of being an outsider was what caused me to gravitate to understanding myself as an asexual individual. Regardless of the sex-positive education I sought, despite having a friend group that adamantly put down any slut shaming, I could never find it within me to be sexually attracted to anyone. Many told me I was broken. I certainly felt that way. Finding a proper way to define myself helped me to embrace my difference instead.

Queer Enough To Ride

I would first like to reach out to those of you that believe that asexuality is not “queer” enough to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community- I understand why you want to gatekeep, that is- to staff the entrance to the community, deciding who is and who is not allowed within. Many of you are bisexual, nonbinary, and other queer folks that were once the subject of the “are you queer enough to ride” argument. 

I myself gatekept like you did. I quantified how trans a person needed to be to be considered part of the umbrella. I attempted to divide the bisexual community between “fake” and “real” bisexuals. I did this largely for one reason- I felt like I didn’t belong. I felt that, by providing a baseline, I could place myself squarely into a place of validity. If I could say where “not queer” began, I could say that I was surely queer! In my desperation to prove myself, I denounced the experiences of others. What I’ve now realized is an amazing concept: if we were to define all folks that felt ostracized for their presentations of gender and orientation (and wish to identify with the word itself, which not everyone does) as queer, that automatically does include us! As for using the word “queer”? I’ll turn to a very good friend of mine for this one -  @neurostorm​

Oh goodie, another fight over the operational definition of the word ‘queer.’ If you are taking the reclaimed slur approach, then NBs (which were largely unknown when the slur was at its apex and was strategically reclaimed), transmasculine people (whom the oppressor barely knows exist), and arguably even cis lesbians (who often had different slurs hurled toward them exclusively) don’t have a right to use it either; because the slur was disproportionately applied to gay men and transfeminine people (since the oppressor believed they were one and the same). However, it was agreed that by extension of a general oppression that all gay people and all trans people could “have” it. It was this same idea of general oppression that started the LGBT+ coalition, since on a 10,000 foot level, the oppressor saw them all as just different manifestations of the same thing. The redefinition of the slur to become synonymous with the political coalition was part of its reclamation. The strategy was twofold. First- use its deliberate fuzziness to capture all the edge cases, as gender and sexuality are highly individualized. Second - use this re-branding to neutralize the slur’s power further by completely transforming it to mean something else entirely in the hearts and minds of the cis-hetero world. Regardless of how one defines that term, there is one very basic truth. It has ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING on who gets to be considered a part of the greater LGBT+ coalition, whether or not the term is used to define it! So with that said, how SHOULD we define those who are included? Opinions vary, but strictly for the “sexuality” part of the equation of things, my personal definition I tend to fall back to is that it meets 3 basic categories. 1. Its a significant departure from standard sexuality. 2. It’s a significant departure from expectations placed upon you by society’s sexual defaults. 3. It has a major impact on ones life in how they relate to society’s sexual expectations. This doesn’t imply oppression a priori, and this is deliberate. Oppression is a byproduct of greater society being shitty to certain groups based on their identity, not a part of their identity itself (if it was, then that identity ceases to exist if the oppression against it stops, and I don’t stop being autistic just because I wake up in a paradise where abelism doesn’t exist). Oppression would be that there is a systemic pattern of mistreatment and bias that conforms to and is promoted by the power structures that be, disempowering and marginalizing the other group for their deviance from the imagined normal. So then, about the aces. Where do they fall in in regards to this criteria. 1. Asexuality is a significant departure from standard sexuality, as standard sexuality assumes a moderate-to-high level of libido and desire by default (less so for female perceived people, but less is not none). 2. Asexuality is a significant departure from expectations placed upon one because they are expected to perform sexuality and have a certain level of desire in order to be seen as good partners (and in the case of male-identified people, have their gender validated). 3. This has a major impact on ones life because the expectation and desire of sexuality (or at least the performance thereof for the sake of another) is seen as a default part of romantic relationships to the point where it is implicitly believed by some that it is the sole reason they exist. It has a major impact in that it is always assumed to be childhood trauma, shyness, and “not meeting the right person” (and you know what, even when that is the case it doesn’t invalidate the asexuality they have).

I’ll return to their infodump in just a bit, as they did have more to say. No, they are neither cis nor het, if you’re intent in devaluing their opinion. In fact, they’re not ace! So I will add some of my experience to the meat of their argument. I currently identify as GenderVague (being on the autism spectrum, I don’t necessarily have the best grasp of structures like “gender”), bi/panromantic, and asexual. I did not come out as any form of nonbinary until 2014, as I didn’t have the terms to describe myself, and I did not come out as non-heteroromantic until I forced myself into a state of inebriation (read: became absolutely plastered) and, well, slept with a girl to prove myself. 

I knew that I liked girls, don’t get me wrong! It’s just incredibly hard to prove that, you see, when you’re asexual. I could say that I crushed on girls since the 3rd grade all I liked, but I was forever a “fake bisexual” until I could say that I had sex with a woman. That community mindset (and a desire to not disappoint my allosexual gf) led to me doing what I did, all in the effort to validate myself.

I guess I’m bringing all of this up to say this- whenever I hear people talking about those “cishet aces” always “trying to invade” yadda yadda, I see myself in 2012. To the majority of queer folks, I absolutely appeared straight, being closeted. I’m certain asexual aromantics also are devalued as “straight” for the same reasons. I don’t think any of us are any less queer, forcing ourselves to have sex or not. I also really don’t think anyone whose m.o. is not being interested in sex will get much of anything besides community from being recognized as queer. And for those that identify as heteroromantic in full spirit? I’m going to echo what asexual people of all orientations have been saying- if you say that they’re not welcome, but you say that I’m welcome, you’re specifically stating that my experiences as an asexual person are nothing. Since I personally received far more discrimination for being asexual than for being bi (I emphasize personally, as everyone has different experiences), I feel invalidated when people say I wouldn’t be queer without being bi. You can’t consider my asexuality queer while at the same time stating that asexuality as a whole is not queer.  Let’s go onto the second half of @neurostorm ‘s rant-

As for oppression, there is a systemic pattern of mistreatment and marginalization against asexual people that favors the power structure. The Asexual community can probably answer this in more detail, but off the top of my head, one example of systemic oppression is that society sees a low-libido as a kind of arrested development of maturation (which plays in to abelism in some ways too). Society will pressure asexuals to perform sexuality and force-spark development through things such as corrective rape. Society will flat out erase the existence of asexual people (I know many an evangelical who believe that there is no such thing as an asexual person, and that anybody who says so is just trying to virtue signal and hasn’t admitted their “sins of the heart” to themselves). All of these examples and more are promoted, encouraged, and tacitly accepted by greater society at large. All of these examples are born from and promoted by minor and major biases saturated in the consciousness of the majority of the population, and favoring the power structure that currently exists. That effectively MAKES it oppression using the definition I provided earlier. It is a “…systemic pattern of mistreatment and bias that conforms to and is promoted by the power structures that be, disempowering and marginalizing the other group [in this case, asexuals] for their deviance from the imagined normal.” So to recap. My argument is as follows. 1. The strategy to re-brand “queer” as a coalition name is deliberate and decided upon by the greater LGBT+ community in roughly the 1990s-2000s. If someone personally doesn’t want to be referred to that way, that’s all well and good, but it’s not their place to tell another how they should refer to themselves. This applies to any reclaimed slur, term, or identity phrasing (i.e. the argument of identity-first language vs person-first language in the greater disabled community [other disabled folks can refer to themselves however they want, but they don’t get to tell me I HAVE to use person-first language when I greatly prefer identity-first language to describe myself]). 2. Regardless of how 'queer’ is operationally defined, that has no bearing on whether or not asexuals can be part of the greater political coalition. 3. Going by what I feel is a reasonable set of basic criteria, Asexuals ARE qualified to be a part of the greater political coalition. 4. It can be demonstrably proven that asexuals are systemically oppressed by virtue of their asexuality.

There’s certainly folks that are attempting at this very moment to argue that allowing asexuals into pride will mean that ace voices will take over “more important ones”. I would like to introduce you to a concept that every pride I’ve been involved in fails to implement- prioritizing intersectional voices. Giving the mic to trans lesbians of color instead of white cis gay men. For the love of Marsha P. 

Hell, as a disabled, trans, bi, asexual, autistic immigrant I’m 10 times as intersectional as Tyler Oakley, so can we stop making him our first choice for a speaker? I’ll get off this tangent, but my point is that I am actively dreaming of a world where people that are only one letter of the whole acronym don't speak over all the rest of us. I don’t think it’s fair to be fearful of asexual folks taking up space when our community is so blatantly whitewashed and ciswashed as it stands. Speak out in favor of intersectionality for everyone, stop giving white cis gay men a pass to speak over everyone.

Acephobia

Acephobia, Acemisia, Aceantagonism- There’s a multitude of names to describe the systematic oppression and violence that asexual folks experience. I personally prefer “Acemisia” because it takes up fewer Twitter characters and doesn’t associate itself with mental ailments like agoraphobia, but I’ll call it acephobia since that’s what the kids on here are saying. Acephobia, like other forms of discrimination, is too wide to be wholly understood in a simple lesson, so forgive me if I don’t touch on some issues. In general, oppression exists on multiple levels-

Institutional violence- discrimination written into schools, churches, public offices, and other power structures that make up The State.

Social violence- discrimination carried out as an unwritten social rule through everyday language and encounters

Physical/sexual violence- murder, rape, the fun stuff! /sarcasm

I’m going to try to address each level the best that I can, so bear with me.

Institutions & Asexuality

Many queer folks will use religious texts and fundamentalist Christian views to outline why their oppression in society is legitimate, and this is because The Church is an institution that entwines itself in a lot of issues of morality and law, especially in regards to marriage and love. A common argument that I hear is that asexual folks face no such oppression in that system. However, as an asexual who has discussed this issue for the better part of 7 years at this point, I have discovered this- fundamentalist Christian people do hate asexuality, specifically because it throws a wrench in the idea that one has to consummate a marriage. For those unfamiliar, consummation of a marriage is the act of having sex after a wedding in order to prove the marriage legitimate. 

“But isn’t asexuality the same thing as chastity??” you ask, clearly illustrating that you don’t get the point that we are not experiencing any sexual attraction at all, no matter how hard we try. The problem is that asexual folks don’t “get over” this “phase”. Many of us are unable to consummate marriages, and to not consummate a marriage deems the marriage, in the eyes of the church, illegitimate. This isn’t merely a thought experiment- I do know asexual folks that legitimately were run out of their home for disclosing that they would never marry “the way God intended”. That’s actually a reason for marriage cancellation- “annulment due to a failure to consummate the marriage”. Thus, you can see that the institution of the church, which affects the institution of marriage, which we all know impacts relationships very intimately, has a very marked issue with putting its head around the idea of a sexless marriage. When the same-sex-marriage debate was still young in the early 2000s, many opponents claimed that the reason same-sex marriage was sinful was because the process of consummation would require, in their gross words, “sodomy”. I brought up that many asexual homoromantic couples were likely seeking the ability to marry, and this idea jarred them further- they were outraged that anyone could refuse to consummate a marriage, and stated that a sexless marriage was effectively more of an insult to God than a marriage that brought forth “sodomy” [blech].

There are other institutions where asexuality is actively discriminated against within- I was actually given an intervention in a liberal middle school for writing in health class that I had no plans to have sex, and I quote, “never never ever EVERRR!!!”. I know, mildly excessive, but I was completely sex-repulsed at that age. Multiple teachers were brought in to try to convince me, stating that at my age, “you really need to be thinking about sex rather than trying to avoid it”. Even though this program focused on encouraging students to abstain from sex until they’re ready, they found it problematic that I had no interest in “EVERRR!!!” performing the act. It spoke heavily to the hypocrisy that even abstinence-encouraging programs have when faced with asexual students.

Asexuality in Society

There were countless YouTubers that popped up around the year 2010 that discussed in depth the social ramifications of coming out as an asexual individual. One in particular that I followed was swankivy, who was immersed in discourse in the immensely queerphobic 2009 youtube and OkCupid community. She heard everything from “you’re clearly a lesbian in denial, come out of the closet and join us” to “you’re straight because that’s the default”. In fact, she has almost a decade’s worth of videos titled “Letters to an Asexual” that highlight the sorts of comments we receive on a daily basis. If you couldn’t already guess, many of the comments indicated that she wouldn’t be so controversial if she could pick a “real” sexuality, and stick with it. People often told her things like “it’s ok to be a lesbian” after she had already argued extensively that her asexuality was how she was made and who she was. I know that 2009 youtube videos don’t age the best, so take all of those low-quality films with a grain of salt- a lot of homophobia got launched at her in the early days, and nobody in 2009 was entirely unproblematic.

As the asexual community began to receive recognition from both queer and cis/het communities, their placement was treated like a game of hot potato. We didn’t fit in with the cis/het community, as we still got accused of being broken for not experiencing sexual attraction. The queer community hasn’t wanted us either, for largely the same reasons. We were too deviant to fit in with the mythical norm, and simultaneously too deviant to fit in with the counter-norm. Both communities had very staunch views on sex that we couldn’t fit into. 

Eventually, the A in LGBTQIA+ made space for us. By the year of 2011, I began to see space made in the queer community as a whole for asexual folks. Many empathized with our struggle to find a place of belonging, especially bisexual and trans folks that had been overshadowed by the L and the G for decades. This was a magical moment for me. I didn’t get queer theory at this point. I didn’t totally understand gender & sexuality studies at 16. There was just a piece of me that finally felt welcome. I was allowed to be myself, and everyone was expected to educate themselves on my lived experience to make that possible. I stopped being bombarded with questions and started being able to talk to asexual lesbian and bi girls, asexual trans folks, and everyone else that showed me that it just might be ok for me to be more complicated than society would like me to be. … I’m typically a person that speaks uniquely in logical & academic terms, but looking back at that moment in time is difficult for me to succinctly verbalize. It is incredible to find a place of belonging… I don’t think I would have survived had I not had a community. Being an asexual teen was only bearable the moment people said “You know what? It sucks that people are shitty to you for not being into sex. You can hang out here, we think you’re pretty cool anyways. If you wanna talk about sex we’re down but we totally respect how you were made and know what it’s like to be forced into being someone you aren’t”. I can prove to you with study upon study that unconditional love and acceptance is absolutely integral to a developing teen, but I don’t think even that would attest enough to how blessed I was to find a community who was ok with the way I was.

Asexuality, Sex, and Rape

This section contains sensitive content that details largely my personal experiences with corrective rape and coercion. If you may have a difficult time reading, give yourself a moment to prepare. I feel that this discussion isn’t nearly whole without this piece.

Firstly, we must discuss the term “corrective rape”. I hear often that it is impossible for me to have experienced corrective rape, as I do not identify as a lesbian woman. Let’s break this down as gently as possible- Firstly, if you’re going to claim that asexual corrective rape is “appropriation” of a lesbian term, I hope you also exclude white lesbians from using that term, seeing as a doctor coined it in discussing the corrective rape of black lesbian women in South Africa. Alternatively, we can understand that it’s a term that very succinctly identifies an experience in which someone is targeted for sexual assault in the attempt to “cure” them of an undesirable sexuality. We really ought to give more credit to black innovations of language in general, but I think you see the point that it’s easier to say “I was correctively raped” than “I was targeted for rape by a bisexual guy that believed that asexuality specifically needed to be raped out of someone”. Hopefully, we’re clear on this now.

In 2012, I met Eric Epperson at an anime-con sort of event. He was a bi cisgender allosexual man. He knew I was asexual, and promised that we could “go slow” if I agreed to date him. Seeing as this was my first ever experience with a relationship (and being autistic and easily manipulated), I naively agreed to date him. He, predictably, did not hold true to his promise and forced me to become sexual with him early on in the relationship by saying “well how will I know you really love me if you’re not willing to make love to me?”. He was very effective at discreetly threatening me with abandonment and slander (and more, later) were I to ever say no to his advances. 

Some months into the abusive relationship, I finally persuaded him to watch a documentary on Asexuality in the hopes that he would learn how uncomfortable I was with sex. He made multiple comments on how effectively raping the male star would make him give up asexuality (He was a “feminist”, though, so he never called what he did rape). He referred to asexuals featured as “creepy freaks”. He boasted about how he had cured me and turned me into a “normal person” by threatening me and guilting me into allowing him to do what he wanted to me. He commented on what a sad, empty life the male star must have, not knowing the joy of having Eric’s dick inside of him. He and his mother, a cisgender bisexual woman, were laughing by the end of the documentary about the “freaks who need help”. Eric later admitted that he targeted me specifically because he was interested in “curing” a “weirdo” like me. He had a phrase for it too. “I’ll turn you Epper-sexual”. He intended, from the start, to “cure” me. 

I’m lucky to have been set free from the relationship, even though it was only because he found a 13-year-old lesbian to “turn eppersexual”.

A month after being let go, I met a stunningly beautiful girl. I’ll call her M. She was incredibly effeminate and reserved and had long, brown, curly hair and freckles. I was smitten. Only being a month away from the abuse, I was in a very vulnerable position and asked her to be my girlfriend. Initially, she was okay with “taking it slow”, but eventually she confessed that she really wanted to have sex with me. Afraid that I would be discounted as a “fake bisexual”, I got incredibly drunk (I became severely alcoholic, but that’s another article) and satisfied her as best I could. It was fine at the time, but the aftermath is why seeing her on campus to this day tears my heart.

We broke up because I was way too traumatized by my abuse to hold together a relationship, and drinking and using all day forced me to drop out of college. We initially had planned to stay friends, until a mutual friend of ours broke up with their girlfriend because she was pressuring them to have sex with her, and they were asexual. They felt it better to break it off than to leave them wanting.

“If you’re asexual, you really need to give that up if you really want to satisfy your partner!” she said. “I mean, Ren did it!”

I called her out for that comment, and we haven’t spoken since.

I’m just one asexual out of millions. The fact that countless others can attest to having dated Ms and Erics should speak volumes- after all, the personal is the political. That is to say, I’m not an isolated case. What happened to me was bred from a culture that, at its core, devalues asexuality. I can only hope that M’s learned better since, but I know for a fact that Eric continues to be on the hunt for kids like who I was.

A Positive Note

That last section was totally trauma central so I’m going to end on a positive note.

To keep what happened to me from happening to others, we need a cultural shift. Rather than attempting to quantify how bad acephobia is compared to transphobia and homophobia etc, we need to realize that every human has an intersectional experience. It’s not a matter that an asexual biromantic black woman is oppressed more than a disabled autistic gay trans man- people living in intersections experience overlaps and magnifications of oppression in such complexities that to state something as over-arching as “any black person is more oppressed than any trans person” is not only devaluing but too simplistic to account for personal experiences. Instead, it would be more accurate to say that the woman and man mentioned earlier experience different disadvantages in society, not more or less.

Not one asexual person is demanding that all allosexual folks stay quiet on their experiences being involved in other intersections of oppression. All we’re asking is a place at the table and a room to feel safe in.

I hope that this article was able to provide positive insight regarding the discourse. Let me know if you have any other questions! 

As always, remember- progress > perfection. 

#asexuality #asexual discourse #corrective rape #acephobia #allosexual

[sewingscars]

Diversion!!!

To all the trans military and veterans who have fought for our freedom, WE SEE YOU AND WE THANK YOU!!! . 

We will NOT be posting any articles about the Anus-Mouthed-Leathery-Tangerine's tweets from his shitter. This is not to devalue or distract from this mornings news. On the contrary, it is simply a reminder.

 This piece of shit H.R.2796 - Civil Rights Uniformity Act of 2017 was introduced into Congress on 6-7-2017. 

https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/2796 

.Civil Rights Uniformity Act of 2017 

This bill prohibits the word "sex" or "gender" from being interpreted to mean "gender identity," and requires "man" or "woman" to be interpreted to refer exclusively to a person's genetic sex, for purposes determining the meaning of federal civil rights laws or related federal administrative agency regulations or guidance. 

No federal civil rights law shall be interpreted to treat gender identity or transgender status as a protected class unless it expressly designates "gender identity" or "transgender status" as a protected class. 

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YESTERDAY DAY 187- 1/ Senate Republicans secured the 51 votes needed to advance their health care bill after Pence cast the tie-breaking vote. The Senate will now begin debating, amending, and ultimately voting in the coming days on the future of Obamacare. The vote was too close to call until the last moments, when several Republican holdouts announced their support, including Rand Paul, Dean Heller, Rob Portman, and Shelley Moore Capito. Senators Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski both voted against the motion to proceed. (New York Times / Washington Post / CNN)

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 2/ The Senate will now have 20 hours of debate the health care bill, evenly split between the two sides. Senators can bring up and debate an unlimited number of amendments to the bill as long as they are “germane” to the bill and would not add to the budget deficit. Then a period known as vote-a-rama happens, where Senators votes on the amendments. The first amendment will be the Obamacare Repeal Reconciliation Act, which repeals most of the Affordable Care Act without a replacement. If that fails (as is expected), Senators will then vote on the Better Care Reconciliation Act, which cuts massive portions of the ACA. Because of reconciliation rules, these amendments would require 60 votes to pass. If BCRA fails, Senators will consider what is being called a “skinny repeal,” which repeals the individual mandate penalty, the employer mandate penalty, and the tax on medical devices. (New York Times / Vox / Time / NBC News) John McCain returned to the Senate for the health care vote after being diagnosed with brain cancer last week. McCain’s vote is critical to today’s procedural vote. His absence would have left Senate Republicans with no margin of error. (Washington Post / Politico) Senate Republicans don’t know what’s in their health care plan, but they voted anyway on the motion to proceed. About a half-dozen senators were publicly undecided about whether to start debate on rolling back the Affordable Care Act. Several senators have said they want a “replace” plan ready to go before voting “yes.” An agreed upon replace plan is not in place. The bill will have to pass the House before making its way to Trump’s desk. McConnell forced the procedural vote to put every senator on record. (Politico / Vox / CNN). 

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 3/ Trump ripped Jeff Sessions on Twitter, calling him “very weak” when it comes to investigating Hillary Clinton. Trump has repeatedly taken aim at Sessions in recent days, leading to speculation that it’s just a matter of time before the attorney general resigns or is fired. The recent tweets come a day after Trump publicly described Sessions as “beleaguered.” (NBC News / CNN) 

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 4/ Later in the day, Trump added that he is “very disappointed in Jeff Sessions” but won’t say if he’ll fire him. Trump has previously discussed replacing Jeff Sessions in a move viewed by some of Trump’s advisors as part of a strategy for firing special counsel Robert Mueller in order to end his investigation into the campaign’s efforts to coordinate with the Kremlin to influence the 2016 election. Sessions recently asked White House staff how he could patch up relations with Trump, but that went nowhere. Instead, Trump floated longtime ally Rudy Giuliani as a possible replacement for Sessions. (Wall Street Journal / Washington Post / Associated Press)

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 5/ Sessions is “pissed” at Trump for the attacks, but doesn’t plan to quit. Senate Republicans have said that attacks on Sessions, who spent 20 years in the Senate, strain their relationship with Trump. Many GOP senators have expressed annoyance with Trump’s tweets, saying “I really have a hard time with this” and "I’d prefer that he didn’t do that. We’d like Jeff to be treated fairly.” Senators have also been nonplussed by Trump’s criticism of Sessions’ decision to recuse himself, saying “Jeff made the right decision. It’s not only a legal decision, but it’s the right decision.“ Trump’s senior policy adviser Stephen Miller and Steve Bannon also support Sessions. (The Daily Beast / McClatchy DC)

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 6/ Anthony Scaramucci says it’s "probably” correct that Trump wants Sessions gone. The new White House communications director didn’t want to speak for the president, but said he thinks Trump has a “certain style” and he is “obviously frustrated.” (The Hill)

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 7/ Senate Democrats are planning a procedural move to prevent Trump from making recess appointments by forcing the Senate to hold “pro forma” sessions – brief meetings, often only a few minutes. Democrats are worried Trump could attempt to bypass Congress and appoint a new attorney general and undermine special counsel Robert Mueller’s ongoing probe into alleged Russian meddling in the US election during the planned August recess. (CNN / Reuters) 

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 8/ The Senate Judiciary Committee issued a subpoena to Paul Manafort to testify in its Russia probe. Manafort had agreed to provide notes of the meeting at Trump Tower last year with the Russian lawyer, according to a person close to the investigation. Committee chairman Chuck Grassley and ranking member Dianne Feinstein said they had been “unable to reach an agreement for a voluntary transcribed interview with the Judiciary Committee” with Manafort. (ABC News / Politico) . UPDATE: **The Senate Judiciary Committee has dropped the subpoena against Paul Manafort **and plans are underway for the former Trump campaign chairman to speak to investigators. (Politico) 

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9/ Parents are angry after Trump delivered a politicized speech to tens of thousands of boy scouts. Over 35 minutes, Trump threatened to fire one of his Cabinet members, attacked Obama, dissed Hillary Clinton, marveled at the size of the crowd, warned the boys about the “fake media,” mocked the polls, and said more people would say “Merry Christmas.“ Responding to criticism, the Boy Scouts of America insisted it was "wholly non-partisan and does not promote any one position, product, service, political candidate or philosophy.” (Washington Post / BBC) Trump joked he would fire Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price if the health care bill doesn’t pass. “Hopefully he’s going to get the votes tomorrow to start on the path to kill this thing called ObamaCare that’s really hurting us,” Trump said during a speech to Boy Scouts at the 2017 National Jamboree. “He better get them, otherwise I’ll say, ‘Tom, you’re fired.’” (The Hill) 

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10/ Trump confirmed a covert CIA program while tweeting that the Washington Post had “fabricated the facts” about his decision to end a program aiding Syrian rebels fighting the government of President Bashar al-Assad. Trump was referring to a story about ending an Obama program where the CIA armed and trained moderate Syrian rebels, a move long sought by the Russian government. (Washington Post / Politico) 

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 11/ A federal judge ruled that Trump’s voter fraud commission may request voter roll data from states. Opponents contend the effort could infringe on privacy rights. The judge said the lawsuit did not have grounds for an injunction because the commission was not technically an action by a government agency – the commission is an advisory body that does not have legal authority to compel states to hand over the data. (Reuters) 

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12/ Jared Kushner bought real estate from an oligarch’s firm represented by the Russian lawyer. Lev Leviev was a business partner at Prevezon Holdings, where Natalia Veselnitskaya acted as legal counsel. Prevezon was being investigated by Preet Bharara for money laundering before he was fired by Trump in March. Prevezon Holdings attempted to use Manhattan real estate deals to launder money stolen from the Russian treasury. In 2015, Kushner paid $295m to acquire several floors of the old New York Times building at 43rd street in Manhattan from the US branch of Leviev’s company. The Prevezon case was abruptly settled two days before it was due in open court in May for $6 million with no admission of guilt on the part of the defendants. (The Guardian) 

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13/ A White House press aide resigned after Anthony Scaramucci said he planned to fire him over alleged leaks. Michael Short is the first to leave after Scaramucci promised all aides “a clean slate” and “amnesty” to prove that they were not leaking. “This is the problem with the leaking,” Scaramucci told reporters outside the White House. “This is actually a terrible thing. Let’s say I’m firing Michael Short today. The fact that you guys know about it before he does really upsets me as a human being and as a Roman Catholic.” Short, who initially said Tuesday that he hadn’t yet been informed of any decision, resigned Tuesday afternoon. (Washington Post / Politico / The Hill) 

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DAY188 - Trump TWEETS ( NO official report, NO press release, NO executive order) that trans people are banned from the military. The Internet explodes. Everything that has been happening is no longer discussed. His diversion has been executed perfectly. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. #lightingahellfiretocoverashitstorm

#trump #trans rights #transphobia #trans inclusion #transgender veteran #FtM Transgender #transgender rights #transgender military #resist #fuck trump #trump diversions

[awanderlustfromspace]

This is... extremely strange to me. Shawty started out yesterday by coming on my page and silencing me and then trying to educate me on passing privilege as I was having a conversation with another passing person. Just talking. Reflecting. Venting. Which we are allowed to do. This girl came on my shit all frazzled, adamant about telling me that I'm privileged. As if me reflecting on and sharing my experience means I don't know about my privilege. What she fails to acknowledge in this case is that you can be a privileged POC and still feel the effects of white supremacy. Being white passing is erasure in itself. It's silencing in itself because our bodies do not match our identities. (And some passing people don't even claim or identify with their non-white identity which is a whole other issue, full of layers). We are hyper aware of the fact that we don't quite fit into any space. So when we find someone we can relate to, it is a breath of fresh air. When someone tells us our voices matter, it is freeing. What's hilarious about all of this is that sis literally took bits and pieces of my story and twisted it to fit her narrative. She decided to shit on my narrative, a BLACK narrative, a narrative that I have been transparent with my followers about from jump, just so she could make some "decent" points and get a pat on the back from darkskin folks. She coulda made all these points without shitting on someone she doesn't even know. Who's performing? Shawty couldn't even get her story straight. And she opened her whole shit with "this woman was raised by white people", as if that isn't something I always talk about, as if that was supposed to say something about me. What's dangerous about that is its further marginalizing and silencing black folks who share in that narrative. Whether they are passing or ambiguous, were raised by white parents or one white patent, whether they are biracial and struggled with identity. These experiences are unique and layered and us speaking on them does not equate to us not knowing our privilege. It does not equate to us just randomly waking up one day and deciding to be black. She even went so far as to say that I've only "been black" for 5 years or something like that. Which is hilarious because that's never what I said. And again she took a piece of what I shared with her and tailored it down so she could use me to make some points. I have known that I was black since I was a little girl. It has been my experience since my parents first told me, but even before that I knew I was different than the family around me. Maybe because I was adopted. Maybe because I don't look like them. Who knows. But irregardless, the only person "lying to their supporters" is her. When someone asks for perspectives from biracial people, you should be open to hearing any and all perspectives and if you don't wish to do so, make that known I guess. Me being ambiguous does not equate to me not being biracial. Being in white spaces and perceived a certain way does not negate the fact that I am constantly aware that I don't quite fit there. It doesn't negate the fact that yes, being raised by white people was traumatizing in many ways. And she would actually have to listen to my stories in order to understand the layers and complexities of all of this. But she chose not to do so. Instead she decided to victimize herself, calling HERSELF a bitter black bitch when those words never came out my mouth. That was something she took on all by herself. Based on a few tidbits of information I gave her about me. Funny how she learned I was raised by white folks and took that and ran with it. Did whatever she wanted with that narrative. Called me Rachel Dolezal and what not. Good one by the way. Funny how she waited to say anything until my account was deactivated. Which had nothing to do with her posts. Funny how she thinks I sent my friends for her. They rallied themselves. The only one actively trying to get folks to stand behind her, is her. If you know me and have been following me, you know my story. You know I'm pro black. Again me sharing my experience does not equate to me being completely clueless about my privilege. Sure, we can all stand to learn more. I could stand to talk less and listen more. However my space is mine and I can share what I want to. I can cry when I want to. I can ask to be heard when I want to. As of late I have stepped into a space where I am not only trying to shed light on a unique BLACK experience, I am trying to be a loud voice for black folks like me who have yet to find their own. I feel no need to prove with my words that I'm a "good light skin person". I prefer to let people observe my actions and make their own conclusions. All I have ever done from the beginning is share my truth. Where is the harm in that? I apologize if I feel like I've talked over someone. I open up if I feel like I'm not being seen clearly. I fall back when I realize that a conversation might not be for me to speak on, but rather to learn from. Learn me before you come for me. You'd benefit from doing so. Quit acting like light skin/passing/ambiguous people's visibility disqualifies them from speaking their truths. There are voices tucked away in obscure and unknown places, waiting to be heard that are valid and important. Not every person wants their ass kissed. Not everyone does what they do for pats on the back or internet clout. It's a little gross to draw attention to yourself and the fact that you acknowledge your privilege in order to get support and backing from darkskin people. Like. Acknowledge it and keep it pushing. A person who's humble doesn't have to convince everyone that they're humble. By her distorting someone else's valid comments, it's almost like she's positioning herself as "the right one", showcasing her fake humility within the framework of the language of pro blackness, all the while, erasing a real black experience. All the while still light skinned. All the while still privileged. Again, who's performing?

[auroramasterlocksmith]

HOW TO PREVENT LOCKOUTS

It happens to the best of us. It’s so aggravating and inconvenient to see that you are locked out, and it’s particularly infuriating if you’re stranded without your keys after sundown. Right now, you can decide to put some simple principles in place as a daily habit. Choose to adopt these easy strategies from now on, and there will be no reason you’ll ever find yourself locked out again!

Store a spare key in a common-sense hiding place. Putting a key under the mat, beneath a flower pot, or over your door frame, is not a good idea. Every thief knows to look in these places. A fake-rock keyholder is pointless if a professional criminal already knows what it looks like. It’s better to give your extra key to a neighbor you trust ~ preferably someone who’s home most of the time.

Keys, wallet, phone.Whenever you go out the door, remind yourself: keys, wallet, phone. Make it your basic mantra from now on. Stop. Do a pat-down, check your pockets, and check your purse or pack. (You might want to add a few more items to your list, such as: driving glasses, reading glasses, sunglasses, and so on.)

Replace any faulty locks. Keep an eye on all your locks. Upgrade, fix, or replace them when needed. If any of your locks become hard to open, the key could break inside the lock mechanism. Don’t get copies of keys made that are already duplicates, because they eventually won’t work. If you have any locks that are too worn-out, they’re bound to get jammed.

Always know where your keys are. Stay aware of your keys wherever you go. If you walk out, and you realize that you’ve forgotten something, and then you go back to get it, don’t put your keys down on the table and forget them! Keep your keys in your hand, or inside your pocket or purse. Remember, if you ever lend a spare key to a trusted friend, always get it back as soon as you can.

If you want to be bold, carry a phony credit card. Keep one of those fake sample credit cards from junk mail, or an expired gift card. Don’t use an actual one, because you will definitely ruin it. It doesn’t work like it does in the movies, but it still might work for you ~ that is, only if there isn’t a deadbolt. It must be a bored door lock, with the sloped ridge of the bolt facing toward you. (If the door opens toward you, then the bolt is probably facing the wrong way.) If the bolt is the right type, and it’s facing the right direction, then give it a try:

1.      Put the card in the space in between the door and the jamb above the bolt.

2.      Ever so gently, slide the card down between the strike plate and the bolt.

3.      Push the card, and push the door.

4.            If you are fortunate, the door will open, and you’ll leave everything (except the card) undamaged.

If you’re more adventurous, take a pick set with you. If your local and state laws allow you to do so, try picking the lock. Not all locks can be picked, but it could be worth a try. And perhaps some day you will be able to help someone else who’s locked out.

Before you get into a jam, find a legitimate locksmith. The right way to locate a reputable locksmith is to track one down ahead of time, beforeyou ever need one. Do your research, so you won’t get scammed or overcharged.

Ask family, friends, and colleagues for recommendations. Word of mouth from a satisfied customer is always your best bet.

Do your homework. To find a local trusty locksmith, check your phone book and the Web. Write down locksmith companies in your area, with their addresses and telephone numbers. Locate the locksmiths who specialize in the services you need. Utilizing the Internet, you can match up the telephone numbers with the street addresses. A deceptive company may list a fake address, or none at all, claiming it’s local. If someone answers your call with a general greeting such as “locksmith services,” then ask for what the whole business name is. If that person won’t tell you, take it off the list. Bear in mind that some reputable locksmith companies might not include a street address simply because they run a mobile business, so that they can dispatch a locksmith professional local to every customer. Therefore, just ask why their address isn’t listed.

Confirm the locksmith’s credentials. When the locksmith arrives, ask for ID, a business card, and proof of license. The invoice ought to include the locksmith company’s name. The locksmith’s truck should show the company name as well, and match the company name on the business card and invoice. The locksmith must also ask you for your identification, too. Before beginning any work, a locksmith must authenticate your identity, and verify that you’re the actual property owner.

Be skeptical if a locksmith tells you you’re going to have to drill or replace your lock just because you’re locked out. An expert locksmith of integrity will carry the right tools, and have the expertise to know that such drastic measures would be overkill. A true professional locksmith is able to unlock virtually anything.

When you’ve finally found a reliable locksmith, keep that company’s contact information in a logical place, such as on your smart device, on the refrigerator, in your wallet, or on your bulletin board at work ~ so you’ll always have what you need to get yourself out of trouble . An exceptional locksmith will always be happy to answer your questions.

If you’re in Aurora, Colorado, consider hiring Aurora Master Locksmith, a locksmith company whose staff mobile professional locksmith technicians are available 24/7 to provide automotive, residential, commercial, and emergency locksmith solutions.

What if you’re locked out now? If you don’t have a hidden extra key, or you don’t have a neighbor or friend who keeps one for you, then check to see if you left a window or another door open.

If all else fails, hire a locksmith! You may be tempted to entertain the idea of kicking in the door or breaking a window. But should you really risk being mistaken for a burglar? Of course not. Avoid this mess in the future! Plan ahead! Article source here: HOW TO PREVENT LOCKOUTS