#the issue is i keep switching between docs and pages

[maaxverstappen]

I’ve been asking ppl cus im nosy. What’s your writing process like if any? Do u have a preferred place or time. Preferred device. Do u write rough drafts then edit or is it much more considered. How do u decide that an idea is worth fleshing out or pursuing if it looks like it’s plotty. Pls yap at length if u so wish — wiz

i love this question!! and would love to know other answers so if you want to reblog them i shall be on the lookout 👀.

i answered partly here so will just like build on that!!

the process is that i’ll have an idea and depending on how large it is write out some sort of outline. my preference for all planning in life is on paper so i have a little journal that ill write out some ideas in. kind of brainstorm / mind map style of just jotting down random ideas that come to mind.

however, with longer fics like my current post-as-i-go wip i have to do it digital bc so much changes and it’s too long (see pics in previous ask). that one i actually started planning in my notes app on a plane bc the idea had to come out of me someway and i was really excited about it. i then transferred it to a google doc and added onto my chapter per chapter outline (1st pic in previous ask). i felt like that was a bit overwhelming for understanding the overall plot so then i went and made a simple overview of the key plot points per chapter (the 2nd pic in previous ask) just so i felt like i had a better understanding of the goal per chapter.

now when i sit down to write a chapter ill get both the detailed notes and the main plot points and just write whatever i feel like in order to get to the goal of the chapter.

for shorter one shot fics i’ll either have no full outline or a one page idea list kind of thing. for instance, for worth the trouble i knew that it would start and end in the present time and then everything in between would be a flashback, but i didn’t know the flashbacks would be non chronological until i was writing it. same for the chewing gum aspect that ends up being quite an important part of the symbolism and that almost weaves the parts together, that wasn’t a *thing* until i was almost finished with the rough draft and i then went to add it in to previous scenes.

for my long fic i have to be a bit more calculated with the hidden messages/foreshadowing as i can’t go back and edit published chapters lmao so that is a little more thought out + i keep track of loose ends to tie together at some point.

editing is a bit of a harder one. for my long fic my overal editing is per chapter, but i do tend to go back and edit per section too. like right now I’m writing a texting scene and first i wrote the plain texting dialogue, then i went back to add the bits in between from characters’ pov. then i’ll read over it fully and edit where needed. finally when the whole chapter is done ill read over it and edit again, but at that point it’s mainly grammar and punctuation.

my main writing issues i’ve noticed so far is that i tend to switch tenses without realising so that’s something i look out for when editing. i also am always worried they don’t *do* enough so i like to think “hmm what action can i add in here to make them more human” when editing.

so far only worth the trouble has been beta read, the rest i do myself. if I’m stuck i will talk through a lot of it with my partner who will give me some ideas and just like help lmao (she’s also the one that beta read wtt!). but she’s not in the f1 fandom so it’s a little hard to have her beta read for characterisation and specific plot points so i do that myself. like when she beta read wtt she gave a few points of feedback that weren’t too relevant bc the average f1 fic reader would understand (like the significance of spa21, there is no need to explain it).

I’m a baby fic writer so a lot of my process will be redefined and refined as i go I’m sure.

as for deciding what to write, it’s really whatever captures my attention. the prompt for help me hold onto you is one i really liked and a trope i love reading myself. i was also ready to challenge myself to a longer plot fic and i was really excited about the idea so i just went for it! my main consideration is really just how excited i am for it.

i will say that i am currently really struggling with perfectionism / imposter syndrome. I’m having a hard time getting the words onto paper bc it feels like it’ll never be as good as my favourite authors anyway so what’s the point. (which is now also impacting the way i read fics bc it makes me sad that ill never write anything as good as what I’m reading lol)

i generally write on my laptop! in a google doc with grammarly activated and the word count on screen (which pisses me off bc i have to turn it back on after every refresh). i wrote my latest crafty!oscar on my phone (bc i was too excited to wait till i got to my laptop) but wouldn’t ever do that for anything much longer or plot-ier than that.

i fear this has gotten very long. i know u said yap away but …. i perhaps have yapped too close to the sun.

#really liked answering this :-) and the fic writer asks from the weekend too. so fun #she says as she still has unanswered asks from that game in her inbox #anyway #thanks wiz <3 a community gem as always #m answers #about me

[runicmagitek]

Hi there Runic!

I was wondering your opinion on using Scrivner to draft fics vs using Word? Like pros and cons? (Some of the articles online are so confusing! >//<‘)

Thanks so much for the ask, anon! And also thanks for your patience; I wanted to give this some thought, hence the wait.

I primarily use Scrivener and have been using it for a little over a decade. I also use Word during the final phase of edits. I'll list some of my favorite features of each one, followed by the cons.

Scrivener

Organizing a story in Scrivener is where it shines the most. For a longer story, you can break things down by chapter and easily move them around as needed. For me, I use a single file for all my fics and breakdown folders by fandom, then by ships. The use of status markers and labels and custom meta-data, while initially daunting, are also super great to flag what state your draft is in along with any other indicators you wish to use. For me, I like marking if fics are for an exchange or a gift for a friend. I've even customized the meta-data so I can plug in potential tags and ratings as I go!

Snapshots is a neat function that makes a copy of your current file. I use it with each new phase of editing, in case I need to refer to an older version. It's super easy to switch back and forth between snapshots, plus there's a preview to show what has been removed or added from the last version!

There are a ton of compiling options for when you wish to export your story as a Word doc or a PDF or even for epublishing. I don't use this too often, but I have lots of friends who do and it makes proper formatting really simple.

There is a focus mode that removes all the UI stuff and just shows you the words. If this didn't exist, I wouldn't be able to write anything lolsob.

You can set target goals for each document or even the entire file. And if you have multiple documents in a single folder with word count targets applied, Scrivener will add them all up and give you a total target estimate. Really handy for planning out how long your story will be!

THERE IS A DARK MODE THEME.

Word

The grammar/spelling checker is a lot more robust in comparison to Scrivener.

Sharing your Word document and sharing notes/comments with beta readers is a LOT easier in Word. It's similar to how Google Docs works with leaving comments, replying to each other, and marking them as resolved.

Copy-pasting from Word into AO3's rich text preserves the formatting, whereas I've had a lot of wonky issues going from Scrivener to AO3.

Text-to-speech, while kinda weird, is a godsend when I want to read out loud a fic before posting, but don't have the energy to do so.

If you have Word, you likely have a Microsoft subscription, which means you have access to OneDrive, which makes for VERY easy backups. Plus you can get Word on your phone and work off that and your computer seamlessly at no extra cost.

THERE IS ALSO A DARK MODE.

Hokay, now for cons.

Scrivener

Scrivener is not free. It is a one-time fee of $60~. That said, if you participate in NaNo and win, you can get a discount code (I believe it's 50% off?)

It was originally made for Macs, but then a Windows version was developed. The team behind Scrivener is very small and it took… forever to get the Windows version up to speed with the Mac version. There are still some differences between the two, but thankfully both versions are on the same page. Jumping off of this, there is an iOS version, but no Android version.

If you wish to back up your Scrivener stuff, you can only really do that via a Dropbox account. Also, I believe it's not possible to open the same file on different computer types. So if you have two computers (one Mac and one Windows) and want to open the same file on both, it's not really going to work. In my experience, I've also run into issues getting things to sync and open when using two Windows computers. So if you're planning to bounce around different computers/laptops/etc., definitely keep this in mind.

On top of that, for every device you want Scrivener on? You need to pay for that.

Scrivener has got one hell of a learning curve, too. I've been using it for so long and am STILL discovering new ways to use it. It can be intimidating, even after you go through all the tutorials.

Word

This also costs money, but sadly is not a one-time fee AND you need to invest in a bundle plan instead of just getting Word. Home subscriptions range from $70 to $100 a year, depending if you're getting it just for yourself or for your family/friends to use too. For me, I use it with my boyfriend and we use all the programs a bunch, so it works out well for us. This might work for you too if you're interested in having access to things like Excel and OneNote and cloud storage. But if you just want Word, that's not really feasible.

I haven't experienced this because I've stopped writing novel-length stories in Word, but I've heard from friends that the program slows down after 30k words or so, which is unfortunate and frustrating.

Furthermore, you can't really transition from file to file in Word as you can in Scrivener. You'd need to manage the folders on your computer outside of the program.

Word isn't really designed for book formatting. You CAN do it, but it takes some extra work on your end to format things accordingly, whereas Scrivener has a bunch of built-in features to help with that.

Microsoft is A LOT bigger than the Scrivener team, thus there are frequent updates. And because of that, you need to perform more updates to the program and might even need to reacquaint yourself with features and UI changes.

I hope this helps! Regardless of which program you wish to use, I hope it goes smoothly and you have a blast writing your stories on it!

#runic rambles #writing resources

[serndest]

A Place of a Contemplating Robot

I went with something more low-key. Jenny deserves some quiet, calm time now and then.😊(Also, a little reference in the title, and not just to the og show😉)

Really wanted to get another loose illustration out in time for the 20th anniversary. Plus, I’ve been meaning to do a calm piece. Between Jenny’s world-saving duty, life drama, robot-related issues, & people’s pettiness (sometimes including her own😓), I thought that she could use time to herself. That 3rd reason kinda sounds like sending a kid off to timeout for misbehavior, but hey, there might be stress behind that pettiness.🤷‍♀️ She does have the weight of the world on her shoulders. That, or it might be timeout-like after all😆 where she gets alone time to directly face her mental problems, with no physical problems to distract her.🤔

Or more interesting: needing to handle her mental problem in order to handle her physical one.🤯

Some might think calmer moments are boring, but I consider it a welcomed, necessary breath of fresh air, especially as someone who had a loud, tense upbringing.

Mini Journal

Ended up needing to keep my iPad charging the whole time; larger resolution (11x14” @ 300dpi) *and* Fresco’s live watercolor brushes drained it more quickly (~20% in 20 minutes). Even then, still a lot of crashes once I finished the sidewalk and bench. Now, only rarely do at that resolution. Watercolor-styled pieces will likely be 9x12” @ 300dpi, max.

Far more painful painting process in a full space. In a way, more directly an urban-sketching styled piece because now, it’s in a physical place instead of a void w/ colors! Similar to before, I mitigated some of the difficulty by using an analogous color scheme. This time, I really struggled with working w/ whitespace, like in Teoh Yi Chie’s or Liz Steel’s urban sketching styles.

What helped may have been a style I saw in this colored pencil Liz Steel piece https://www.lizsteel.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/LizSteel-159-1104CafeFeohPacHwy.jpg , where sidewalk & road are white, & the only blocks of color are for cast shadows.

Self-Reference

I got into the pose myself, mainly to fix her bent leg & folded hands. In the end, moved the bend leg up, just showed her right hands’ fingers & her left hand’s index finger, & unbent her other leg. Tried to focus on the feeling & gesture of the pose, rather than follow the pose exactly to a T. Mlaatr is just about the perfect style for that, being a gestural cartoon.

Concurrent Illustrating & Post/Note-Taking

I illustrated & prepped my post at same time (...at least until I got to painting the sidewalk😥). In a way, it’s kinda good I didn’t do it this way before, since I didn't have set categories (like Behind-the scenes or Mini Journal) yet. Nonetheless, I still tried to be as organized as possible by having a preliminary & final version of the post on a Google Doc (especially since ELA has been my historical weak area😥).

Behind-the-Scenes: Story, Color Scheme, & Color Application Influences. 

Tone & situation/implied story: the 1998 Yokohama Shopping Log OVA, with a robot (in YSL's case, a more human-like android) just hanging out and living life. Maybe even resolving some past problems or relationships.

Color scheme & watercolor style:

grass: how he colored the tree leaves here, by letting the colors mix on the page instead of mixing them himself. https://twitter.com/ParkaBlogs/status/1682275817668362240?s=20 

sidewalk: after a lot of struggling, went with Liz Steel’s colored pencil technique: layering lots of colors, especially in shadow areas https://www.lizsteel.com/switching-to-coloured-pencils/ , along with, as noted w/ the first colored pencil sketch I listed, having the rest of the roads/sidewalks be white—controlling whitespace

Art Supplies

Hardware: iPad mini 5th gen & Apple pencil 1st gen

Software: Adobe Fresco

Brushes:

Lineart: Pencil [default Adobe Fresco brush]

Color:

Watercolor wash flat (grass, bench, bench shadow, sidewalk, Jenny clothes & hair)

Watercolor wash soft (sky)

Watercolor basic round (Jenny shadows)

Block stain (bench shadow 2nd pass)

#fanart #20yearsofmlaatr #mlaatr #jenny wakeman #jenny xj9 #alone time #alone with my thoughts #adobe fresco #digital watercolor #adobe fresco drawing #digital drawing #digital art #line and wash #ipad mini #ipad art #white space #robot girl #robots #robot art #scifi #cartoon #nickelodeon

[bluejayblueskies]

1, 11, 15, 23, 30

weird questions for writers!

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

i write pretty much exclusively in times new roman! i usually switch to lucida grande for editing since that's the ao3 font and it helps me catch typos, and occasionally i'll write in arial in google docs if i don't feel like changing it from the default, but 9 times out of 10, it's times new roman. i don't really care much, but i've also gotten used to writing in tnr, so if i try to switch it messes with my flow and makes me think more about the font than the words, so i think i'm pretty much stuck with it XD

(more under the cut!)

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

i had to google what this means askldgag ('to get rid of an unnecessary storyline, character, or sentences in a piece of creative writing') but i do think it's good advice! i've been working a lot in the past few years since i started writing again (first for tma, and now for malevolent) to clean up my writing style, and i think this is part of it for sure. i get very attached to my long sentences, and learning to cut them up or delete them altogether was very hard for me. i'm still bad at outright cutting scenes or storylines that i'm fond of, and honestly the ones i'm less fond of as well. i'd love to get in the habit of re-writing an entire chapter to cull out unnecessary things, but as i'm not planning on writing for profit, simply for fun, and that doesn't sound very fun to me, i haven't put much weight on that

i do have a darling graveyard! i usually plonk sections that i discard into either my notes app or my outline, and sometimes i go back later to recycle, but most of the time i realize that those chunks are better off dead and buried and i don't resurrect them. there was a really good piece of advice i read once that said 'if you run into a block in your writing, the issue is probably 10 lines back' which has helped IMMENSELY, and that's where a lot of my cutting comes in, where i'll just chop a whole section i wrote and start over to get the flow better. thus, the darlings are usually better off dead, because they were causing more problems than solutions.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

i write in the margins of textbooks that i own, and that's pretty much it. i like keeping my books in good condition, so i usually don't write in them, dog-ear my pages, etc.. (i don't take baths, but if i did, i don't think i would read in the bath.) i don't judge people who do, though! it can be very satisfying to mark up a book, and when i do it with textbooks, i love it a lot. it's just not for me with fiction (though i think i would feel better marking up a second-hand book than a bought-new book since it's already no longer in pristine condition!)

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

the physical environment i write in changes, but lately (since i moved) it's been mainly one of two places

i sit in the black faux-leather bucket chair i have in my room, one blanket beneath me, the other covering my legs, feet propped up on my bed (which currently has bookbinding stuff strewn all over it). i have the worst posture as i hunch over my laptop and write my silly little words. i have earplugs in and over-the-ear headphones on, blasting 'Heavy Rain Sounds | No Thunder' from spotify at max volume to drown out the sounds of living with five other people. i probably have some sort of beverage slowly equalizing to room temperature as i get caught up in the writing and forget about it. it's either too hot or too cold; there is no in-between

i sit at my desk in my office at work, where i basically sit around and wait for people to have a/v issues and thus have essentially 6-9 hours of free time to do whatever interrupted by occasionally having to explain to people how an adapter works. there's probably somebody singing vocal warmups in the background, or playing slightly-out-of-tune jazz saxophone, or playing the same piano piece ad nauseum. my coworkers could definitely see my computer screen if they looked; i've still got ao3 pulled up and visible in the background. i may still be listening to heavy rain sounds if the vocal warmups are bad enough, and i almost certainly have coffee that i'm chugging like it's the nectar of the gods because i probably got there at 7:30am and have to make it through to 11:00pm without leaving the building once. it is a Tuesday and i have not seen a window for seven hours <3

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

hmmm, i used to use stuff from my dreams as the inspo. for original writing, but i don't do that as much anymore because a) i don't do much original writing anymore 😅 and b) i don't dream as much anymore! at least not in coherent, recognizable ways that aren't just like. stress dreams. i suppose the tradeoff is that i haven't had a nightmare in a while either so ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ i get inspiration from daydreams if that counts lol?

and i don't think i've ever written in a dream! the closest i've gotten is dreaming that i had a writing-based assignment finished, then waking up and finding out i did not in fact have it finished 😔

#ask #inklingofadream #thank you for the ask! 💕

[readingwriter92]

i feel google docs is making a pointed statement when they tell me I've *opened* this fic doc in the last month.

#not edited #opened #yeppppp #XDDD #aka like most of the things on there #the issue is i keep switching between docs and pages #and when i have it edited its always on google docs #logic dictates i should just use docs but eh

[im-frickin-trying-okay]

Random BNHA Headcanons

(This is my first time doing this 😭)

Summary: A bunch of random BNHA headcanons. So, basically the title. The only reason I’m adding a read more is because I want it to be easier to navigate my page, lol

Bakugo is oddly nice when he first wakes up, but he's not exactly a morning person. He's less "I hate the world, why am I awake???" And more like "I'm extremely comfortable and the only thing that can ruin my mood is becoming less comfortable." He likes hovering between awake and asleep, y'know? Which is why if he's sleepy, his guard drops. When leaving the dorms, if he hasn't fully woken up, he goes from "outta my way, shitty-hair," to "mornin' Eijirou," and by the time he's actually aware of what he said, Kiri's already freaking out. If he's in bed all day for any reason other than being sick, he's probably soft for at least a few hours.

Kaminari's the type to wake up at 2 AM with an idea, go to jot it down, and then realize that he wrote a ten chapter book and now he's late for class. He'll probably put it into a google doc or something, so he can continue to add onto it throughout the day. I also feel like he probably will also randomly get a question and then spend hours researching it and any surrounding topics, before rambling to Kiri about "bro, if I went to the beach, I could make a bunch of glass! Probably! Maybe!" And then have to try and convince his friends that he can just make windows if anyone needs them.

Sero had added moves to his skill set, and practiced particular actions, with the sole intention of mimicking Spiderman. When Kirishima questions him on it, he compares Spiderman to Crimson Riot. They have a conversation that's essentially fanboying, both of them saying "we are not bringing All Might into this," and then more fanboying.

Jirou has an extremely eclectic music taste. If you can name a song, she probably knows it. She can memorize full melodies and all the lyrics within two or three listens, because she's just that good. Some people call her the human Shazam, because if you play the first five seconds of a song she likes, she'll immediately know what it is. She's also called out artists if they made a clear rip-off of a much better song. Her music taste is all over the place, which therefore makes it superior. However. This does not stop her from listening to the same six songs on repeat for a week. The six change a lot, though.

Koda has trouble with bugs, especially big ones. They scare him. But he has pretty much no issues with tigers, lions, horses, or even wolves. He loves animals, he really does. If you just showed up at his doorstep and shoved a bear cub in his arms, he wouldn't really question it, because he'd be happy to have a cute animal to play with.

Todoroki believes himself to be the opposite of moody. His definition of moody is switching emotions for no reason. He, personally, doesn't feel any emotion until something happens that day, be it a thought or an event, and his emotions stay fixed like that until something else happens. He could be having a great day, and then suddenly, it's a horrible day, and he can't figure out how people just "get over it." He does, however, find that unless something REALLY bad or REALLY good happens, his brain does a little emotional reset when he goes to sleep. Like, go to sleep feeling down, wake up feeling kinda meh.

Kirishima has considered re-dying his hair. Come on, hot pink is so manly! How could he not consider it? But he eventually resigns himself, because red just is his color now. Also, I feel like once, before dorms, he was really out of it, so he went to class with his hair down, and this was the first time anyone had seen him like that, and everyone was just confused as hell. Especially Bakugo. "Your hair's less shitty today. What the fuck."

Uraraka takes part in stupid bets all the time. Partially for the fun, and partially for the profit. She once floated Bakugo to the ceiling for 26 minutes before she had to put him down, because Kiri said that if she survived, he'd give her a dollar per minute. She ended up having to go to the recovery girl's office, but at least she got her money.

Mina is one of the few people who can understand and keep up with Deku's mumbling. This is not because she specifically tries to, (like Uraraka) or because she's known him long enough, (like Bakugo.) She's just used to gossipping with Hagakure at 4 AM, and therefore can understand high-speed low-volume speech. She's called him out on things before, but only when she's interested. She completely tunes out things about All Might and heroes and whatnot, but if he ever has anything to say about his classmates, specifically about Uraraka, Todoroki, and Bakugo, (because she, Hagakure, and Denki placed bets,) she hears every word.

Iida secretly loves to break the rules. He acts strict in front of anyone who he respects, or wants respect from, but after he thinks everyone's asleep, he relaxes, doing things that he considers rule-breaking without any remorse. Denki heard someone walking around outside while on one of his late-night internet searches. After finally willing himself to break away from an article about pandas, he popped his head out of the door to find Iida sneaking around. After some silent observation, Denki realized that not only did Iida just get back from breaking curfew, but he casually stole Hot Cheetos from Bakugo's room on the way back to his dorm. He said nothing the next day, at least not directly, but he sorta shoved Sero and Iida in the same room so that they could be bad influences on each other.

Despite it being a major part of her quirk, Hagakure almost never feels invisible. She has a lot of friends to talk to, she can wear cool outfits to stand out, and she is always talking. The only time she's not talking is during stealth training, and when she's using said stealth training to spy on people.

Tsu's little "ribbit" thing is actually just for fun. It feels right to do it, so she does it. Nothing wrong with that. However, pretty much everyone else assumed it was a part of her quirk. It took an insane amount of convincing to get that idea out of their heads. Deku was proud to be one of the few who never actually associated it with her quirk. He could prove it if he wanted to, actually, but that would require showing someone his notebook, which would open a whole other can of worms.

Oh yeah, speaking of Deku's notebook, he has multiple. Six to be exact. One is on his fellow classmates, one is on most pros, one is on the LOV, one is specifically on All Might, one is on his own quirk development, and the last one is a narrative of what's happening in his life, which is why he's constantly thinking as if he's telling a story. He mentally narrates everything that happens in his life, although he sometimes wonders if he's dramatizing things because of that. His internal monologue is constantly running its mouth, and sometimes he ends up speaking over it.

Tokoyami really likes plague doctors. He just does. He wants a plague doctor mask so he can walk around with less judgement, or maybe more, who knows? He just loved the concept. He claims that they're just really cool, which most people agree with, but he's never told any of them that he likes them because he saw a plague doctor mask for the first time at the age of six, and immediately thought bird man.

Sato likes baking, but he can't cook normally to save his life. Well, he can, but he can't. He hasn't burned water, and he knows how to do the very basics, but he can't function without a recipe, not to mention the fact that he's googled how to saute mushrooms three times and still doesn't get it. Baking comes pretty naturally. Exact measurements, precise times and temperatures. Cooking does not. Eyeballing ingredient amounts, guessing if the flame is high enough, trying to figure out how often 'stir occasionally' is. He actually once asked Bakugo if he had advice, to which he responded, "Why the hell are you asking me?!"

#bakugo headcanons #kirishima headcanon #deku headcanons #uraraka headcanons #todoroki headcanons #denki headcanons #iida headcanons #class 1-A #bnha #mha #mina headcanons #tsu headcanons #bnha headcanons #my hero academia #jirou headcanons #sero headcanons #hagakure headcanons #koda headcanons #tokoyami headcanons #sato headcanons

[fallinnflower]

worth it

hoshi x reader (university!au, strangers to lovers, fluff)

The first time you met Soonyoung was during the co-curricular fair during your first year of college. Soonyoung sat at a fold out table in the quad with three of his friends, music playing from a Bluetooth speaker and a big poster taped to the front of the table which simply read ‘DANCE CLUB,’ surrounded by hand-drawn emoticons. You thought it was a cute booth, and you thought he was a cute boy, but you nearly jumped out of your skin when he called out to get your attention. 

You weren’t sure what clubs you were going to join, but you didn’t think you’d make for a good dancer — you’d only ever danced by yourself in your room, and one time at a school dance. But there was Soonyoung, calling out at ‘the girl in the blue cap,’ which you suddenly realized was you, imploring you to join. You attempted to conceal yourself in your jacket as you shook your head, mumbling an apology and waving as you wove your way deeper into the crowd, cheeks blazing. 

You didn’t look back. 

The next time you interacted with Soonyoung (beyond him smiling at you when you crossed paths, which you figured he did to everyone because he was just that friendly) was in a marketing class the two of you had together. You didn’t sit anywhere near Soonyoung, and for the first quarter of the semester nothing of consequence happened between you two. 

Then there was the midterm assignment. Randomized partners, open-ended topic, all culminating in a twenty-five minute presentation given by the both of you. 

You hated the waiting most of all. Sitting, listening to your professor call out what seemed to be everyone else’s name but your own, biting down on the inside of your cheek the longer you had to wait. 

“Soonyoung and Y/N.” Your head snaps up, and suddenly Soonyoung is waving excitedly at you, motioning to the seat beside him with a big grin. With your heart beating a mile a minute you pack up your things and slip down the row to sit beside Soonyoung. 

“Hi!” He greets. You manage a quiet reply, not sure why you feel so bashful in his bright presence. “Do you have any ideas for the project?” 

“Um, well...” You pause, flipping a few pages back in your notebook. “We could always talk about social media’s impact on marketing… I know it’s simple, but maybe we could pick a specific platform and get some data about how marketing has developed there. Maybe Instagram?” You chance a look at Soonyoung out of the corner of your eye to find him still beaming at you, peering down into your notebook. His face is closer to yours than you expected, and his cheeks are bunched up in such an endearing way that you just want to pinch them. And just like that, as if you weren’t blushing enough as it is, you feel your cheeks heat up tenfold. 

Suddenly, everyone starts packing up, and you close your notebook in a hurried manner,

“So, um, I’m free every afternoon—”

“How about tomorrow then? At 7 in the library?” You nod, caught off guard at how enthusiastic Soonyoung seems to be about this project. He’s never been active in class, and, to be honest, you were expecting him to drag his feet a bit more. 

It’s 7:15, and you can’t keep yourself from biting at your lip, a mix of agitated and concerned that keeps you bouncing your knee as the minutes tick by. You’re close to just sending Soonyoung an email and ditching, but suddenly you catch sight of him jogging frantically between the shelves of books. You stand and wave to catch his attention, and he grins when he notices you, brushing his hair back from his face. 

Upon closer inspection, you realize that his hair is damp, sticking up in a multitude of different directions. 

“Hi, sorry,” he pants, somehow still looking chipper. “I let dance practice run late and I didn’t wanna come here all sweaty. But, I brought snacks to make up for it!” He drops a bag of gummy bears on the table between the two of you, eyes sparkling. You sink back into your seat, averting your gaze as a sense of guilt washes over you.

“The library has a no food policy,” you mumble, and all it takes is a glance to see that Soonyoung’s smile has dropped a bit. 

“Oh.” There’s a pause, and all you can hear is the rhythmic clicking of other students' keyboards, until suddenly there’s a crinkling sound and the bag is once again in your vision. 

“That’s fine, you just take them then! As an apology for me being late.”

When you look up, considering denying his offering, you can’t help but pause. His smile is as gummy as the candy he’s offering, his cheeks looking just as squishy and his eyes glittering with anticipation. You feel your heart skip a beat as you accept, slipping the bag into your backpack. 

“Thanks, Soonyoung,” you whisper, and he laughs. 

“You can call me Hoshi, if you want. All my friends do.” This, too, gives you pause, but you shake it off and return his smile — albeit shyly. 

“Okay, Hoshi.” You turn back to your laptop, missing the way his ears turn red, and pull up the Google Doc and Slideshow you had made for the project. 

“I went ahead and shared the project materials with you, did you get them?” 

It’s then that you realize Hoshi isn’t the best with technology. He looks a little bit like a confused grandfather as he leans in towards his screen, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly ajar. 

“Everything okay?” You ask, and he lets out a little whine. 

“It won’t let me type anything.” You tilt your head, equally confused. You had given him editing access, hadn’t you? 

“Let me see.” Hoshi not only turns his laptop to you, but moves to the seat beside you to see what you do. You let out a little laugh as soon as you realize what it is. 

“Ah, you weren’t in editing mode.” You switch his system over, and Hoshi leans back in his seat with an embarrassed pout on his lips. To put it mildly, it’s adorable, and you’re not sure how you’re going to deal with looks like that if he’s always this bad with his laptop. 

Despite that little obstacle, Hoshi is relatively prepared. He’d found a couple of sources that he had to dig around in his bookmarks to get to again, and he seemed genuinely interested in working hard. The two of you laid out the basics of your project, throwing little notes into the doc and talking through your points. 

“I can make some infographics for the project,” you offer. “I can probably have them ready by this weekend.”

“Should we meet up on Sunday then?” He asks. “We can go to a coffee shop! My treat!” 

“Oh, no, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he interrupts, dark eyes sincere as one of his hands comes to rest reassuringly over your own. “You’ve been really helpful, and I’m not very good with technology so you’re going to end up doing a lot more than you should have to, so I want to make it up to you.” 

Well, you don’t know how you’re supposed to say no to that when he’s smiling so cutely at you and his hand is on yours — so you don’t. You just nod and agree, before you both pack up your things. Hoshi carries your bag for you until the two of you part ways at the quad, him heading down to the house he rents with a few of his friends and you back to the dorms. 

Later that night, as you’re checking your emails one last time before bed, you’re surprised to find a notification that Hoshi had made a relatively recent change to your Doc. You click to open it and can’t help but giggle at what you find. 

I forgot to give you my number at the library!! (***)-***-***!!! ヽ(´▽`)/

You can’t help but think the emoticon looks just a little bit like him, and you fall asleep with a smile still lingering on your face. Kwon Soonyoung, you think, what a guy. 

Hoshi texts you throughout the week — at first, just to ask questions about various little tech issues and what you think of the sources he’s found; you simply laugh when he asks you what font you like for the slideshow, but your best friend (who’s peeking over your shoulder) has a slightly different reaction. 

“Oh my god,” she says. “He’s just coming up with random shit now!”

“Huh?”

“He’s just finding reasons to text you,” she continues, exasperated. “Like, fonts, seriously? He just wants to talk to you!” You shake your head, texting Hoshi that you don’t have a preference. 

“No, he’s just bad with computers, that’s all. Besides, we barely know each other.” Your friend huffs. 

“You’re oblivious.”

But as time goes by, you can’t really deny that he seems to be texting you about almost nothing. But you also can’t deny that you’re enjoying talking to him, with his excessive emoticons and use of exclamation points. Even when he’s distracting you from class, his messages leave a smile on your face. 

And Hoshi is the King of Distractions. In fact, the next time you have class together, Hoshi repeatedly catches your eyes just to point at his phone to get you to check yours. You wonder how he’s been doing so well in class if he’s always like this, and so you mime back that he should take notes. 

He pouts. It’s unfairly cute. He points at the phone again and you finally give in, rolling your eyes before tapping the screen. 

Hi

You give him the most withering look of disbelief you can manage, and he only beams back at you like it’s the best thing he’s ever done in his life. You roll your eyes, but as you turn away you happen to glance at your phone again just in time to see his message before your screen fades to black. 

:D

Dork, you type back with a smile on your face. He’s just too cute to ignore. When you happen to glance up from your phone again, Hoshi is pouting more prominently than you’ve ever seen before. You try not to think it’s cute, try to keep from smiling, but you just can’t help it. It seems you just can’t help anything when it comes to him, at this rate. 

Sunday comes and you’re less prepared than you’d like to admit. After sleeping through your alarm, you’d barely managed to remember to grab your laptop and charger to show Hoshi the infographics you were meeting to talk about before running out the door with your moisturizer barely slapped on. To say you were self-conscious entering the cafe, slightly winded and with stray hairs falling into your face from where you had it pulled back, would be an understatement. 

You’re quick to find Hoshi, who is staring at you with his lips slightly parted, expression unreadable. The apologies burst from your mouth like a flood, barely pausing for a breath as you explain your morning situation. 

“But don’t worry,” you say, plopping down onto the seat and smiling brightly at him as your laptop boots up. “The infographics are done!” Hoshi stares at you for a moment, that same expression from before still on his face before he shakes his head slightly and replaces it with a familiar smile. 

“I’m sure they’re awesome,” he says, pushing his chair back. “Want anything? My treat.” It takes you a moment to decide on a pastry to go with your coffee, but his smile never once fades — he doesn’t seem even the slightest bit impatient, even as he goes to stand in line. At some point, he turns his head to try and catch your eye, and when he does he scrunches up his nose and smiles; you giggle and do your best to mimic his expression, and when you do he’s quick to turn away, but not before you see his cheeks turning pink. You wonder if he’s feeling alright.

He returns a moment later with both your coffees and two chocolate croissants on a plate. You push your laptop so he can see it and begin operating the mouse with one hand, taking your croissant in the other. 

As is your usual tendency, you fall so far into explaining your work that you forget anything else — which is why you’re shocked to see Hoshi staring so intently at you and not the screen when you finally finish your spiel with a hopeful, “So?” He blinks rapidly, turning a little red again, before nodding enthusiastically at you. 

“They look great!” He chirps, then takes a long drink of his coffee. You sigh in relief and do the same, turning your laptop back to yourself. 

“Um, Y/N?” You hear him ask, and you lift your gaze from your screen.

“Hm?” Hoshi looks very determined, and although you don’t understand why, you realize it’s a very good look on him, one that leaves you feeling flustered.

“You have some chocolate on your face.” You immediately feel yourself turn red, and begin looking to see where the napkins are.

“Where?” 

You feel a light touch on your chin, and Hoshi is suddenly leaning across the table towards you. His eyes are focused intently on your lips and it only makes you more self-conscious; your breath stalls in your chest.

“There,” he intones, his voice low as his thumb gently glides along the corner of your mouth. His gaze flicks up to meet yours, and you feel your heart skip a beat as a smile spreads across his face, “Perfect.” 

Maybe his touch lingers, or maybe you’re just imagining things, but either way Hoshi sits back in his seat and goes back to munching on his croissant with no more than a light laugh, leaving you light-headed. You duck your head slightly, staring at your keyboard as you feel your face continue to burn, and wonder if you might still be asleep and dreaming.

If you are, you consider, you don’t really want to wake up. 

Your best friend hits you with a pillow when you tell her about your café meeting with Hoshi.

“Hey!” You snap, swatting the pillow away from your face. “What was that for?” Your friend lets out a long-suffering groan and falls dramatically back onto your bed.

“I’ve failed you!” She wails, clutching the pillow to her chest. “A hot boy flirts with you and you don’t even notice!”

“I don’t know,” you say, plucking at a loose thread on your blanket. “Maybe it was nothing. It’s Hoshi, be realistic.” At the sudden quietness of your tone your friend lifts her head and fixes you with a glare.

“What exactly are you trying to say, Y/N?” You shift awkwardly beneath her gaze.

“Just… just that Hoshi is kinda out of my league, okay?” You’re not usually the type to think about leagues, but Hoshi has always seemed sort of untouchable to you, a polar opposite. He shines as bright as his nickname would imply and you tend to prefer not being noticed because it makes you anxious. The thought of Hoshi liking you feels a bit like Aphrodite liking Hephaestus, and you just can’t shake that little cloud of self-consciousness away.

“Y/N,” your friend says sternly, sitting up and forcing you to meet her eyes. “There is no reason for Kwon Soonyoung not to like you, and there is no reason you should reject him if you like him, too.” You press your lips into a thin line, frustrated that she’s making sense. Sometimes you really just want to be irrational and take the risk.

And you have a feeling that having your heart broken by Kwon Soonyoung is one hell of a risk to run.

The project goes much more smoothly than you previously expected, especially considering Hoshi’s schedule is as crazy as it is. You know that his club has an event coming up, so you try your best to keep the workload light on his end — not because you think he can’t handle it, but because he definitely seems to be pushing himself to the limit. His normally bright eyes seem duller when you catch him off guard, and the bags under his eyes are significantly heavier than before. Luckily, you’re both almost done with the whole thing after that long session in the cafe. 

That doesn’t stop Hoshi from asking you about it after class one day. You barely notice him bounding up to you until he taps you on your shoulder, his face lit up in that familiar grin. 

“Hey,” he chirps. “When should we meet to finish the project?” You can’t help but smile at him, and you lightly wave it off.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I can finish it up.” Suddenly, Hoshi stops in his tracks, gently pulling at your sleeve so that you do the same. His face is now set in a pout, which is undeniably cute but you swear you won’t fall for it this time.

“That’s not very fair,” he grumbles. You avert your gaze, nervously playing with some of your hair,

“Well, I mean, it’s just that you’re so busy—”

“And you aren’t?” He interrupts, and you look up at him. 

“I don’t run a club with a showcase coming up,” you argue, and Hoshi huffs, entirely unconvinced. After a moment, however, his expression suddenly shifts to a smile.

“How about this,” he begins. “You come to the showcase, and then afterwards we can finish the project together!” 

“Won’t you be tired?” He shakes his head immediately, the sparkle back in his eyes.

“I’d never be too tired for you.” 

You nod without even thinking, and Hoshi is excitedly bounding off before you can even consider what his words might mean.

After telling your roommate about Hoshi’s ‘compromise,’ she screams at you for a few minutes about how oblivious you are before telling you she’s going to pick out your outfit for the showcase whether you want her to or not. By the time the showcase has actually rolled around, you realize you actually do want her to figure out your outfit because suddenly you feel like you have nothing to wear.

However, she dresses you pretty simply. She shoves you into a cold shoulder style sweater you rarely ever wear and what she knows are your favorite jeans. She points to various shades of eyeshadow and has you apply it and your lip tint yourself, and as you stand in front of the mirror looking basically the same as always, you can’t help but look at her in confusion.

“Are you sure about this?” You ask, and she playfully shoves your shoulder.

“He already likes you, idiot. How you dress doesn’t really matter, I just knew you were gonna overthink it so I chose for you.” You stick your tongue out at her, annoyed at how well she knows you but grateful, nonetheless, that she’s helped you out so much. She even agrees to go to the showcase with you for moral support, since she knows you aren’t really into crowds.

The downside is that she isn’t above elbowing her way through the crowd to make sure you’re directly in front of the stage, where you and Hoshi will have a very clear view of one another. She stands beside you, squished so close that your arms brush together, and as the stage goes dark and the crowd falls silent you find yourself grabbing at her hand out of nervousness. She laughs at your antics but gives your fingers a reassuring squeeze.

A spotlight falls upon the stage, where Hoshi and the other three boys in his unit are lying on the floor in a pile, somehow still managing to look elegant. You bite down hard onto your lip the moment the music starts, and even though Hoshi isn’t the first to move you can’t seem to take your eyes off of him. This is Hoshi, you realize, so much fiercer than the tired, goofy boy you see in class. Someone has done his makeup, the eyeshadow smoked out into a dramatic wing that contrasts his pristine white clothing. 

And then suddenly you realize they’re singing. All four of them, and you swear Soonyoung’s gaze catches yours right as he begins the first chorus and you’re ready to die, you are, holy shit—

Your mind falls completely blank from then on, and you only come to again when the lights fall and the crowd erupts into applause. Your best friend yanks her hand out of your grasp to clap along with them, and you do so as well, blinking rapidly to clear your mind. She gives you a teasing look and you don’t bother to sass her; you don’t have the brain power to say anything at all.

A few more members of the dance club perform, but Hoshi doesn’t come on stage again until the fourth song. This time, he and the three other boys are dressed in all black, and you realize with sudden and extreme force that Soonyoung’s shirt is mesh. You think of all the times you’ve seen him in baggy sweaters and t-shirts, looking comfortable and cozy and overall like a great cuddler — you hadn’t ever considered he would have abs, even though you probably should have given his dancing regimen. You can feel your best friend’s elbow nudging your side, but you’re too laser-focused on Soonyoung to give her even a sliver of your attention. 

You don’t think you’ve ever been mad that a person looks sexy before. First time for everything.

When the performance ends, you’re shocked to find Hoshi’s gaze locked with yours. A shiver runs down your spine at the intensity of his gaze, and although you know you’re blushing you can’t bring yourself to look away until the lights fall once more, plunging you into darkness. You can hardly hear the applause over the thundering of your heart in your ears, and as people begin gathering their belongings and moving to the back of the auditorium space, your best friend takes hold of your arm excitedly.

“Okay, we have to go backstage!” 

That snaps you out of it.

“What? No!” You shake your head wildly, but your best friend merely continues to smile. “Most of the crew has no clue who we are, we can’t just walk backstage—”

“Well we can’t just leave after all that,” she retorts, smirking devilishly. You cover your cheeks with your hands, hoping to quell the raging blush.

“I hate you,” you grumble, squeezing your eyes shut. “Why can’t we just wait here, or—?”

“Y/N!” Your eyes snap open, and you find that your best friend is now gazing past you, towards the doors you know lead backstage. 

“Oh my God,” you breathe, barely audible, but your anxious response goes ignored as your best friend waves to Hoshi excitedly.

“Hey Hoshi! Great job tonight, is Minghao back there still?” She’s standing before he even answers her question, and you’re pretty sure she would’ve walked away regardless of if Minghao was around or not. You curse yourself for forgetting that the two are lab partners. As she walks away, you take a deep, calming breath, and fix a smile to your face. When you turn, Soonyoung is already standing in front of you, dressed in a plain black shirt and sweats with just his familiar smile on his face.

“Hey,” he greets, beaming. You feel your heart skip a beat. 

“Hi.” Why does your voice sound so small? “You did great, but I’m sure you know that already.” He laughs, eyes sparkling in excitement.

“I do, but it’s still nice to hear you say it,” he replies, looking extremely pleased as you feel the blush rising high on your cheeks once again. You find yourself rendered speechless, thinking of the intensity of his eyes when they met yours on stage. Thankfully, he’s the first to break the silence, smiling fondly down at you in your seat.

“I was gonna go for bubble tea. Do you wanna come with? My treat.” Looking up into his bright, smiling eyes, you wonder how you could ever say no.

“Sure, let me just text my roommate and let her know.”

The bubble tea place Hoshi takes you to is only a few minutes’ walk from campus, and the majority of that journey is passed in amicable silence. You keep sneaking glances at Hoshi, although each time you do it makes you flustered and you ought to be avoiding that kind of situation. True to his word, when you get to the shop he pays for both of your orders before you can say a thing. As you leave the shop, preferring to walk back towards campus while the weather is nice, you find yourself breaking the silence,

“If you keep treating me like this, I’ll never be able to repay you.” You look up at him with a pout, but he just responds with his usual good humor, gently nudging you with his elbow.

“Who said anything about repaying me?” He asks. “You deserve to be treated to things, anyways.” You let out a sigh as he sips on his drink, running a hand through your hair.

“But I feel bad. I’ve hardly done anything for you since we met.” Hoshi hums, glancing at you thoughtfully for a moment before replying.

“You could repay me by going on a date with me,” he says, so casually that you nearly choke on a tapioca pearl. Thankfully, you manage to wash it down with a sip of tea, though looking into Soonyoung’s serious, star-filled gaze makes you feel just as breathless as any coughing fit would have. 

“I—” He waits patiently on your response, standing before you on the sidewalk, the gentle breeze ruffling his hair. “Wouldn’t you still be paying, then?” 

For a moment, in the silence that falls after your response, you worry that you’ve ruined it all. And then, true to his nature, he breaks into laughter, running a hand through his hair. As his face tilts slightly towards the streetlight, you realize he’s blushing — just as nervous as you are — and can’t help but smile.

“Ah, that’s a good point,” he says, sighing. He fixes you with a playful grin, “But maybe I should just keep you in debt to me.” You laugh and playfully prod his shoulder, stepping closer to him.

“Or,” you reply, slowly looking up to meet his gaze, hoping your confidence holds. “Maybe, once we ace this project, I could take you on a date.” Somehow, his eyes seem to sparkle even brighter once he hears your response, and the smile that splits across his face is blinding.

“Deal,” he says, softly, gaze falling to your lips. 

As you find the burst of confidence to close the gap between the two of you, you find yourself wondering if you’ll be able to wait until the project is finished to treat Soonyoung to that date. When he smiles against your lips, wrapping his arms around your waist and inadvertently pressing his cup of tea into your side, causing you to shiver and melt further into his embrace, you realize that the answer to that is no. 

And you couldn’t be happier.

#hoshi imagines #Hoshi scenarios #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #seventeen texts #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #kpop fanfiction #kpop reactions #kpop writing #kpop scenarios #kpop texts #My writing

[residentlesbrarian]

The Second Book I Read In the Dark: Another YA superhero novel for me to squeal over forever...YES, Please! Gimme Gimme!

Dreadnought by April Daniels

So Day 1 in the dark continues onward and I have already finished 1 of my 3 library books with still so much day left so what else to do but soldier forward and continue without pause. Well there was a short pause for delicious chicken soup cooked on a blessedly gas powered range (never gonna live in a house with an electric range; I swear this thing has saved our butts in so many power outages), but I digress; I was ready! This time I was taking a break from the whimsical and witchy and diving head first into all things super with an extra heroic twist. 

I had heard so many good things about this book for so long but again it had fallen to the wayside of other distractions (a rainbow montage of movie and TV show gays runs back and forth through my head like the migrating fandom flamingoes). What finally made me make the decision to buckle down and do the thing was a video review done by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dominic Noble (Video Linked below). I love his series Lost in Adaptation, because as an avid reader I too find myself appalled by what Hollywood often does to my favorite books. Hearing him talk about Dreadnought was just the push my flighty brain needed to say, “Fine! Alright! We haven’t utterly obsessed over a teenage superhero book in like 6 months since we near bludgeoned our girlfriend with Not Your Sidekick! Fine! Let’s do it!” So...yeah if this intro is anything to go by this should be a fun one! Let’s dive right in shall we!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: She just wanted to paint her toenails in peace but then a superhero had to go and die and give Danny the one thing she never thought she’d have...her proper body. Now if only everyone else felt that way too. Life just got awesome and really really complicated all at once! Oh yeah and she can fly now. Bonus!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review: 

Holy crap! After the last book this was exactly what I needed! This book was just...so good! The plot...the characters...the world...everything about it just pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Now I may have felt that way because I didn’t have anything trying to pull me away from this book but I don’t think I would have been easily pulled away if there had been distractions. And so many facets of this story were things I didn’t expect because I had never seen them portrayed before. Like the fact Danny having to deal with the rampant day to day sexism of being a woman now that her appearance matches who she really is. I’ve never seen that in a book before and I absolutely loved it! I was so dedicated to Danny’s story from page 1 it’s ridiculous, and look at that, a perfect segue into the phenomenal characters of this book...look what I did there switching it up going out of order on ya...gotta keep ya on your toes.

Our protagonist Danny is such a phenomenal example of a genuine kind caring person who is also deeply scarred and angry. It was so amazing to read a character that was flawed and struggling and doesn’t see how much a hero she really is and the small moments when others take that double take and go, “You’re the real deal, huh?” But those moments just confuse the living hell outta Danny cause she’s just Danny, she got super powers as a fluke. She is also hilarious and courageous and smart but knows she isn’t perfect and has weaknesses. She may be the strongest person on earth physically now but she acknowledges that that isn’t everything someone needs. Danny is such a good bean, but she has issues and that isn’t glossed over which is so rare. Now the next thing I want to touch on is a very tough subject but is very prevalent in the book so I wouldn’t be a very prudent reviewer if I didn’t bring it up. Danny is, without question, an abused child. This isn’t even really a spoiler, it alludes pretty heavily to it in the blurb, but what I’m gonna touch on next does dip into that territory so I’m gonna break it into a new LONG paragraph so just scroll on by if you don’t want to read this bit.

So at one point in the book Danny mentions a health screening at school that revealed she had hearing damage in her right ear that has now been healed by the mantle of Dreadnought. At the time of the screening she didn’t realize why until her dad had another Mount Vesuvius day and she assumed her usual position of curling in on herself and turning her head to the left so he would yell into only her right ear. Now how loud and how often do you have to yell into someone’s ear to cause permanent hearing damage? I don’t know and honestly I don’t want to know. Why am I highlighting an overall tiny moment...because for me this moment jumped out and gut punched me. Brought literal tears to my eyes. Tears of pain. Tears of rage. Tears of hate. I’m a weepy bitch when I get emotional. I’ve read a lot of books that try and portray abuse and how Daniels wrote Danny’s abuse from her father took my breath away because it felt so real. There weren’t really any good days, there were bad days, there were really bad days, but most days were just anxiously waiting for the next bad day, because Danny knew there would always be a next bad day. Something that did surprise me was my feelings about Danny’s mother. I knew going in I would hate her father, before even meeting him I hated him, but her mother, that was a hate that lay dormant until it exploded onto the scene and froze me to my core. I’m not gonna get into my own demons here but there is one thing I cannot abide by and that is people turning a blind eye while someone abuses another. Danny’s mother is the textbook definition of someone who “goes along to get along”, she will do just about anything to keep the peace, but at what cost? Instead of protecting her child from someone who literally screamed so long and so loud at her child that it damaged her hearing she just sat back and let them. That’s not the worst though, no, after Danny’s transition her mom seems to be understanding of the fact she is happy being a girl and is buying her things she needs like bras and undeniably feminine shoes, only to reveal it was all to keep Danny docile so she wouldn’t cause more fights with her dad. That to me is unforgivable. Not worse than the abuse of the father, but still undeniably selfish. She never cared about Danny or listened to her and what she was really saying. She just didn’t want there to be anymore fighting. Well I’m sorry, but sometimes, as a mother, you should fight to protect your goddamn child when someone is hurting them. The last thing I’ll say before going back to the more spoiler free and fun part of the review is that the fact Danny can never make herself say she is being abused hits so close to home for me. As a reader looking in from outside, there was a scene with a member of the Legion that I felt like, as an abuse survivor myself, I was standing there begging Danny to accept her invitation. To get out of that house. To get away from her father. To see what he was doing for what it was. But I knew she wouldn’t, she wasn’t ready, and it broke my heart to watch her fly away.

Anyway moving on from all that heavy stuff lets talk about other things like some freaking superheroes and one particular vigilante. We have the Legion members: Doc Impossible, Valkyrja, Magma, Graywytch, Chlorophyll, and Carapice. Now How do I want to talk about these characters...in what order...hmmm...how about from best to worst. Okay? Okay. Great! 

I freaking love Doc Impossible! She is a character that from the moment I met her she gave me ‘kookie grandma’ character vibes and I get DOWN with kookie grandma characters. Now I know she isn’t a grandma character nor is she particularly crazy in the way she acts; it's just a vibe I get from her that I love. Now one thing I do want to say without spoiling anything is how Doc is one of the few characters that never tries to take away Danny’s agency in everything that happens around her in all this superhero craziness. Danny can always be her own person and most importantly a kid around Doc, and I feel Danny really needed that. I will stop myself now because I could go on for hours about Doc and how much I LOVE HER!

Next up we get a two for one, Valkyrja and Magma. We don’t see much of them but what we do get is pretty good. They are adult superheroes who have their own priorities surrounding what is going on with Danny, but aren’t mean or cruel and seem to genuinely care about Danny. Valkyrja is funny and surprisingly down to earth even though she is basically a scandinavian goddess of sorts. Also the hilarity of her being Danny’s long time celebrity crush never gets old. Oh Danny, you useless little lesbian. Magma is a precious big hot boy that seems like he’d give good hugs. Yeah, that's about all I got to say about him that won’t spoil anything. 

Now we have another two for one with Chlorophyll and Carapice. These two I'm between dislike and indifferent on.  They weren’t outright mean to Danny but they treated her more like a means to an end or down right refused to acknowledge she was the new Dreadnought whether they liked it or not, but we didn’t really get to see them enough to really learn more about their motivations. 

Finally to round out the Legion we have Graywytch. Excuse me while I get this out. *Exaggerated throat clear.* First of all, Imma slap that stupid robe of ya stupid head. Then Imma stab you with your stupid fancy atheme you like to wave around all the time. And don’t even start on your “Typical male, always resorting to violence” shtick, cause guess what, I’m a ciswoman and I still wanna stomp a mudhole in your ass. And for that...Imma slap your dumb bird too. *Deep breath in. Looooooong exhale.* Sorry about that. Mama had to express some rage. I have never had a hate-sink character that made me feel the fiery flames of rage quite like Graywytch...obviously. Her treatment of Danny had me gripping the book tightly and growling about slapping birds and “shanking bitches” more than I should probably admit. She is one of those characters that I love how much I hate her. She served the exact purpose she was meant to and it was never cast in a light that she may be right in her treatment of Danny, we are always aware that her mindset is ridiculous. Like the fact outside of her parents Graywytch is the only character to blatantly deadname and misgender Danny. To go off on a small tangent here I may relate too much here because I have a younger brother who is trans (don’t worry he is fine with me discussing it in reviews and such) and I went to a graduation party when my best friend graduated medical school and he was out to the family but not extended friends yet. After only referring to him by the proper pronouns for so long at home hearing the wrong ones caused legitimate eye blinking record scratch cognitive dissonance for me. I had the same feeling anytime Graywytch opened her stupid mouth and blatantly misgendered Danny. Because the way this is written Danny is Danny, she is exactly who she is meant to be. Suck it Graywytch!

Okay, I know you probably want to hear about the plot I know, but we have one more character we have to talk about and that is Calamity, the rootin’-ist tootin’-ist vigilante that ever did come through these here parts. Sorry, I have to talk like this now, it’s part of the persona, you have to commit to the persona. But real talk, I absolutely love Calamity as a look into “graycapes” and the real dive into the world of superheroes beyond the big heroes. We get to see how someone who doesn’t have the backing of the Legion goes about helping people, the little people, those that maybe the Legion way up in their tower can’t see from so high up in the clouds. And y’all know me, I love a morally gray vigilante with a heart of gold.  She had me at “You wanna go capin’?”

Now obviously I couldn’t get enough of the characters but the plot was pretty darn good too. It was so intricately woven in with Danny and her inheriting the mantle from the previous Dreadnought that she had no choice but to be an integral part of it. Now I obviously don’t have as much to say about the plot as I did the characters but know if you come for the plot you won’t be disappointed. It kept me guessing and threw me for an absolute curve ball at the end that I did not see coming! You won’t be disappointed.

So final thoughts...there isn’t much more I can say without going on an hours long squeal fest about how much I freaking loved this book and the characters and the intricacies of how Danny’s powers work and how she was written and how she interacts with different characters and just everything that would mean massive untakebackable spoilers! So I will end on this note; Danny is a character that it would have been easy to lean into the superhero aspect and let the reader forget that she was trans, but April Daniels didn’t want that. Danny was gifted the easiest transition in the history of the world. What takes most people years of HRT and surgeries and therapy Danny did in the passing of a mantle, but it never took away the fact she is and always will be trans. It was a unique reading experience that I have only been blessed with once before but that’s a story for a different review on a different day.

Queer Wrap-up: I would give my left kidney (that’s my good one btw) to give this book five unicorns, but alas I cannot, a one off conversation in an elevator hinting that a certain improbable doctor may have a one sided thing for a particular sadly straight scandinanvian god being is just not enough to count as additional rep. As much as I love this book, and I love it A LOT! We only have Danny as our queer rep and she is fantastic rep and our protagonist so a 4 unicorn rating was a no brainer on this one. Danny is the kind of trans rep I want to see more of in the world of books, YA and otherwise. Being a trans lesbian is a huge part of her character but she gets to do so much more than that in the breath of the story and that’s what I look for in great representation, so Danny easily earned these 4 unicorns on her own merit just being her amazing self.

Links: 

Goodreads

Dominc Noble’s Review

Alright so...this one got long. Ah hell, I ain't gonna apologize for it! This is a damn good book and I wanted to get my fangirl squeal on y’all. 

Oh no, I think I’ve been thinking about Calamity too much I slipped into the persona without meaning to! This book was just far too much fun to read to the point I started reading it out loud with a full cast of voices (hint: the Calamity parts were my favorite) because it flowed so well and was genuinely so funny at parts and heart wrenchingly sad in others and so action packed the next moment. I finished this book in less than a day and if I had been more present and not under a pile of blankets and wearing a headlamp I might have thought to keep a timer to tell you the exact number of hours it took me, but alas know it didn’t take me many. 

So the adventures reading in the dark continue on to the next review after this one but as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

#Dreadnought #april daniels #nemesis book 1 #resident lesbrarian #4 unicorns #mtf transgender lesbian #ya novel #ya science fiction #go to you local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe guys gals and nonbinary pals

[b-rainlet]

📓📓📓📓

- the-scarecrxw

(Since you sent 4 of those emojis I'm gonna go off but I'll stick to one in this answer and make seperate posts for the others aksnsns)

I can't give you anything Jonathan centric (that isn't Tommy/Jonathan, one of my fave rarepairs) but Jerome features in lots of my AUs.

This one is one of my faves that's entirely self-indulgent and if it ever gets written it's probably gonna be the longest fic I ever published (Again: If it ever gets written):

I gotta apologize in advance, it's just a fun little AU I haven't put too much thoughts into in terms of plotting so this is gonna be A. Long, B. Messy and C. A little chaotic

- First off, you gotta understand that @nsfwitchy2 Me had some fun with a pretty nonsensical and definitely not canon-compliant AU where Jerome and Jeremiah have three Mums (Tabby, Lee and Barbara, who all date) and live with them and Barbara Lee as their little sister.

- Ecco also lives with them, she sees herself as both the twins' gf more than a genuine part of the family tho (for now)

- (Meanwhile at Wayne Manor Alfred and Jim date and are very tired parents of Bruce and his clone 514A, in this AU - and pretty much every AU - nicknamed Brook)

- (Selina kinda goes back and forth between living at Wayne Manor or at Lee's place)

- Also, everyone dates. The twins. The clones. Eccomiah, Jecco, Batcat, Valeyne, Wayleska, they're all fucking

- Which isn't THAT important for this particular AU but I figured I'd give a warning xD

- This is mostly my attempt to give Tabitha some more backstory? Just...how I personally see her character and how I could see her end up if things would've went differently after S2

- The google docs file is called 'How Tabitha started being a Mum while disregarding canon completely' lmao

- Like her current life involves having 4 kids (if you count Selina) and two wives and that's a hell of an AU and I just like to overthink things and play with the way things would have needed to have gone in canon to have her 'end up' like this

- Also I can see her struggling with having a family all if a sudden (that isn't a manipulative brother or a weird cult)

-Especially if that involves Motherhood

- So on one hand it's a 'S2 until now' fic, explaining what happened to her in my canon

- But also - mostly because I find that easier to organize in my brain - it's interwoven with a 5+1-esque fic of all her children calling her 'Mum' (and her getting emotional over that)

- So it switches back and forth between the past and the present but for rambling's sake, I'll start with the past

- She still leaves Theo behind and flees with Silver but she keeps Silver close instead of immediately sending her away

- And her and Silver get taken in by Fish after they leave Theo because they have nowhere to go and Fish loves taking care of strays

- (Fish, who probably didn't end up in Indian Hill but rather lives in hiding until she is ready to strike against Penguin)

- She refers to herself as Liza's Mother in canon, you can't tell me she wouldn't instantly adopt Tabby and call her 'Honey' and give her motherly advice while Tabby tries to be all bite but actually enjoys somebody taking care of her for once

- Selina🤝Tabby

'Trying so very hard all the time to not show how soft and insecure they are'

- Actually, I'd start diverting from Canon even sooner aksnsjd

- Well not full on changing canon, but I'd...pepper in some stuff

- Like some scenes of her back with Theo and the Maniax

- Mostly her talking to Theo about Jerome's planned murder, which, yeah, she knows it's been set in stone from the beginning but that doesn't mean that she isn't talking about alternatives where he doesn't get killed off

- And Theo's like "Don't tell me you're going soft. No one will miss him. He was just a boy. Not worthy enough to be remembered."

- And later on she betrays him and goes 'I remember him'

- Anyway, they stay with Fish for a while but Tabby doesn't wanna keep Silver in Gotham

- So she sends her back to the school she went to before coming to Gotham with Theo (but makes sure their weird cult can't get their hands on her there)

- And Silver wants her to come with but Tabby says she has some unfinished business

- Aka she just doesn't wanna leave Barbara (who is in a coma atm, if Memory serves right)

- And Tabby's reasoning is that it's not safe in Gotham but really, she thinks she can't be responsible for another person

- "She needs a mother. A Family. I can't give her that." - "You are her family."

- So Silver's out of the picture and Tabby hangs with Fish until Barbara wakes up and they get together again (and never ever seperate)

- Also there's no Butch/Tabby because that was unnecessary as fuck

- And I gotta be honest, I haven't thought more about canon because Butch/Tabby alone makes my head hurt already but somehow they start dating Lee

- Who brings Jerome into the relationship because I sure am fond of Lee being Jerome's Mother (like as in, I have several wips with that concept alone not counting this one)

- Jerome probably came back to life after S3 and Lee fought to have him not be treated like a violent criminal but rather a child who was taken advantage of and after his release from Arkham (where she visited him and made sure he got some proper treatment) it seemed natural to have him live with her

- (But also he's still a criminal aksnsjs, you can see how much I thought about this)

- (Sue me for sticking to the heartfelt scenes and avoiding the mess that is plotting)

- Tabby and Barbara already had Selina and through Jerome, Jeremiah and Ecco were added et voila! Their Family is complete

- (Why exactly Barbara Lee exists if Tabby and Barbara have been non-stop dating since S2 I can't tell you, I simply think she is neat and I like the idea of big brother Jerome)

- (This AU? Self-indulgent? Why would you ever think that?)

- In the present however she is dealing with what is mostly referred to as 'feelings'

- Mostly panic at realizing that the bunch of weird children she's been living with are seeing her as some kind of parental figure

- Because suddenly they all call her 'Mum'

- Unsurprisingly the first one to call her Mum is Jerome at breakfast

- She's reading the newspaper and there's an article about a hostage situation the twins planned and he goes 'Mum, are you done with that? Can we see?'

- And they snatch it from her and argue about how they didn't even make the front page while Tabby nearly chokes on her coffee

- And of course she breaks down talks to her wives about it later while they get ready for bed because no one ever called her 'Mum' before

- Barbara's braiding her hair, while Lee's off to the side, getting ready for bed and it's very domestic and I am very gay

- But neither see it as a big deal because both of them have been called Mum before (by Jerome at least. Like. Immediately upon meeting them)

- So she's trying to be nonchalant about it because it's only a big deal if she makes it one

- While also not being able to deny the warm feeling that spreads throughout her body when Jerome keeps calling her 'Mum'

- Miah and Selina on the other hand are both hesitant to call anyone Mum

- Miah cause of Pride, Selina cause of her Mummy Issues

- But they both do at some point

- I think I have more notes on this SOMEWHERE but I kinda wanna have Miah call her Mum while he's ill (because we all know he'd be super fussy and want attention 24/7)

- So she humours him and while he's close to falling asleep - and she's totally not carding her fingers through his hair because she isn't soft or anything - he mumbles: "Thank you Mum" and she melts

- Selina would be more angsty

- Like, maybe it's her birthday and she disappears for a while (as she tends to do) but Tabby (who's closest to her) knows how hard this day is for her (since again her Mum isn't there with here and looks for her and brings her back home but doesn't make a big fuss out of her birthday

- Just...lets her be, gives her space but also lets her curl up close to her and maybe Selina doesn't call her Mum on that exact day

- But it's the day she realizes she wouldn't mind calling Tabitha her Mother, so she hesitantly tries it out a while later (maybe days, maybe weeks, however long it takes for her to feel comfortable with it) and they share a smile

- Then there's Barbara Lee, but she barely counts because she's a toddler and calls everyone 'Mummy'

- Even her father ajsnsnsn

- The last one would be Ecco because I have a very soft spot for Tabby and Ecco being close

- Ecco's rather formal with them for the longest time (she calls Barbara, Lee and Tabby 'Ma'am' for the most part because she may like them, but she doesn't think they see her as family. She's just the token girlfriend).

- So there's a scene where they connect, possibly over Tabby's hand and Ecco's head since I hc that Ecco gets headaches and migraines a lot (considering that she still gets shot in the head by Miah, like I said, this AU isn't necessarily the most bullet proof in terms of linear timelines)

- But so is Gotham so-

- So there's possibly a scene where Ecco's headache is getting super bad and no one's around (especially not Miah to dote on her) and Tabby awkwardly tries to bond by telling her about her hand and how she can't feel much (is a little clumsy with it) and Ecco immediately imprints on her like a duckling

- Maybe it's even the first time anyone reached out to Ecco in a way that feels genuine, especially without the twins or any of her (various) other partners being present so now she's willing to die for Tabby

- Which ends in her also calling her 'Mum' (while she keeps calling Lee and Barbara 'Ma'am' and Lee's so mad ajsnsjdj she was trying so hard to bond with this kid but couldn't quite get it right and you're telling her her socially pretty clumsy - but still wonderful of course - wife managed with just one conversation?? Slander

- And of course because I can't stop myself, there would be even more tidbits here and there of Tabby overcoming her previous way of living (as in, thinking caring or showing emotions is weakness) by having her reminisce a LOT about Theo

- For example by having Jerome climb into bed with her while Barbara's sleeping and Tabby is waiting for Lee to come home

- Lee works as a doc in the narrows which may be a little illegal, but the people didn't just stop needing help after her Queen of the Narrows arc was over, so I vote she keeps at it (and is held in very high regard for it by pretty much everyone)

- Tabby always stays up until everyone is home because she likes knowing where everyone is and that they're safe while Jerome has frequent nightmares and wanders around the house, so this isn't a rare occurrence

- And sometimes, they talk Theo

- "You miss him?" - "Don't know."

- "I wish he was still alive so I could kill him." - "....Me too." - "Which one?" - "...Both."

- (ajajsbssj this is all just copy pasted and cleaned up a lil', leave me and my pretentious way of writing dialogue alone)

- Tabby also has a lot of interludes where she thinks about what growing up with Theo was like/her childhood in general

- How she always protected him from other children bullying him and how they swore to have each other's back but how in hindsight, she was the one doing all the dirty work for him, helping him fulfill his dream and enact his revenge

- Realizing that he probably never cared for her, not like she cared for him

- There's also allusions to them having sex because you cannot tell me they did NOT have sex

- And it ends with Tabby realizing that she is quite happy with how she ended up, even if it's neither how she thought she would ever live nor what her old self would've even wanted, possibly seeing too many attachments as 'weak' judging by the way she canonly used Butch for convenience sake at first

- And yeah, maybe now she can provide the family - the Mother - somebody else desperately needs

- So she brings Silver home

#This isn't at all presentable #Because the AU is all over the place still #But I am sharing it anyway #Tag: Happy Family #Long Post #WIP Rambles

[katehuntington]

Title: In Bad Waters - part eight Word count: ±2900 words Episode summary: Still in possession of the Winchesters’ belongings, Zoë meets up with the hunters on her next case. When it turns out to be a little more complicated than anticipated, she accepts their help in order to make an important deadline. Part eight summary: Zoë might have accepted the boys help, that doesn’t mean they get along. If the hostility between them isn’t enough, Sam and Dean have some unresolved issues of their own. Episode warnings: Dark! NSFW, 18+ only! Descriptions of domestic violence/child abuse. Drug use/addiction. Angst, gore, violence, character death. Description of blood, injury and medical procedures/resuscitation. Swearing, alcoholism. Supernatural creatures/entities, mentions of demon possession. Descriptions of torture and murder, drowning. Illegal/criminal practices. Mentions of nightmares and flashbacks. Author’s note: Beta’d by @winchest09​​​​​ and @deanwanddamons​​​​​. Thanks, girls! Gif isn’t mine. If you are the creator or know who made it, please tell me so I can credit you.

Supernatural: The Sullivan Series Masterlist

S1E02 “In Bad Waters” Masterlist

     A little less than an hour later, Sam, Dean and Zoë are sharing a table in In-N-Out. All three scheduled in some time to trade their business suits for their everyday clothes. The boys are comfortable in plaid shirts, worn jeans, and dusty old shoes, while Zoë looks like a totally different person now that she left her black pumps, blazer and dress pants in her hotel room. She’s wearing her hair down, her blown locks playfully curled up after last night’s shower. Her grey shirt has the famous Pink Floyd logo on it; a ray entering a triangle and breaks off into a rainbow when it exits. The brand new biker jacket hangs over the back of the bench while she plays with the loose tie of her All Stars shoe, wiggling her foot rhythmically. 

     U2’s Beautiful Day is playing in the background. It fits, considering the clear blue sky and warm sun outside. Satisfied, Dean and Zoë devour their burgers while Sam has settled for a milkshake, since they don’t have salads at this restaurant. Stunned and a little disgusted, he watches how Zoë intends to break the world record, tailed by Dean. The younger Winchester stares at them both, as the huntress swallows the last bite of the massive Animal Burger and starts on an additional cheeseburger she ordered. Apparently, Zoë doesn’t feel the need to hold back, despite having company, but then again, she wouldn’t change her demeanor for anyone.

     Dean doesn’t even notice her manners as he shares her appetite. He’s more annoyed that she finished her burger before he did. He looks up for a moment as she licks the sauce from her fingers after finishing, then continues eating even faster than he did a moment ago.

     “Dude! Seriously, a food race?” Sam chuckles.      “Wholth?” Dean says with his mouth full.      He swallows his bite, which apparently was a little bigger than he anticipated. He coughs and hits his chest with his fist, Zoë can’t help to laugh when she sees tears appear in his eyes.      “What are you? Fuckin’ five years old?” she grins.      “I wasn’t racing you,” he mutters hoarse.      “Oh, you so were.” She sniggers, dipping one of Dean’s fries in mayonnaise. “Are you gonna eat that?”      Obviously enjoying herself, she waits for his reaction. He watches her move the fry to her mouth with a look of shock and repugnance on his features. How dare she?      Zoë chews on the snack provokingly. as expected he goes for the counter attack.      “Don’t touch my fucking food,” he warns, pulling his portion of fries to his side of the table, clearly annoyed with his colleague stealing. “And I wasn’t racing you, ‘cause if I did, you would be many burger lengths behind, woman.”      “That’s what’s bugging you the most, isn’t it? Dean Winchester just got defeated by a girl,” she nags.      “I can take you with ease,” he claims, confidently.      She laughs in return.“You wouldn’t stand a chance.”      “Wanna bet?”      “Knock it off, you two.” Sam breaks it up and looks from one to the other. “Now, could we concentrate on the case? We all got better things to do.”      “I have better things to do. You on the other hand just have an unhealthy obsession with helping me,” she corrects, as she drinks from her milkshake through the straw.      “Whatever,” Sam counters with a huff. “Let’s focus here. We’re dealing with a frustrated child spirit most likely on a killing spree.”      “Yeah, but how the hell is she still here? I already burned her bones,” Zoë brings to mind.      “She must be connected to some kind of object then, are you sure you burned everything?” Dean checks.

     Zoë slightly tilts her head and glares at him with an attitude. Is he fucking kidding?      “We’re sure, I was there with her,” Sam confirms, jumping in before the huntress can snap at his brother.      “Nothing more romantic than a night at the graveyard,” Dean comments with a little grin, earning a death stare from Sam, and so he continues seriously. “We need to figure out what’s keeping her here before she goes all Mike Tyson again.”      “She probably targets the people who are directly or indirectly responsible for her death. I don’t think she’ll rest until she kills every single one of them unless we do something about it,” Zoë speaks up.      “So, who could be her next target?” Sam wonders.      “It could be anyone, but the biggest candidates for a one way ticket to the land of the dead are probably Mrs. Shire and her son, maybe even Mrs. Dawlson,” Zoë realizes.      “Who?” Sam and Dean question at the same time.      “Her teacher at Elementary School. She knew about the abuse,” she informs, sipping her shake.

     Dean seems confused. After all, he knows Zoë only arrived here last night. “How do you even know that?”      “Because I had a fucking chat with her, asshat,” she claims, snappy.      Dean bites his tongue and shakes his head slightly, letting a silent sigh slip from his lips. This woman is unbelievable. If it wasn’t for Sammy being so dead set on helping the bitch, he would get the hell out of dodge.      Ignoring her comment, he picks up a few fries and stuffs his mouth full, not noticing the exchange of looks between Zoë and Sam. As soon as the youngest Winchester makes eye contact, he knows she didn’t talk to Mrs. Dawlson; she saw something in one of her flashbacks.      “There could be a dozen more possible victims we don’t know about,” Sam states, quickly filling the void before it becomes noticeable.      “True, but to figure out who might be next, we need to find more info on what happened to Laura,” she declares.      “We already know what happened to her. Her dad abused her till death followed, nothing to add to that,” Sam says.      “No, I mean after that.”      Zoë leans forward, snitching another fry from the hunter across from her, who snaps his head up to her, staring her down and wondering where she got the nerve to steal his food twice.      “Don’t you think it’s a little strange that no one found out about this murder yet? Because that what it was; murder. Her father killed her. Child services should have been all over this, especially with another minor in the household. Laura was buried without a conviction, while she obviously did not die of natural causes,” the smart woman brings to mind. “Why is that?”      “I mean, the system is flawed. Maybe they missed it?” Sam suggests.      “No, I don’t believe that. She must have been a mess, considering what her victims look like,” she ponders.      Both boys nod as a sign of agreement; she has a point. Dean rubs his chin as he thinks. Then his facial expression changes, the metaphorical light bulb switching on in his brain. He glances up at the woman opposite of him, who watches him questioning.

     “Dr. Hughes”, he says out of the blue.      “I know that name,” Zoë realizes, trying to remember where she has heard it before.      “It’s the doc from the morgue that we talked to,” he fills in. “He did the slicing on Shire’s dead body and also mentioned Ronald was a friend of his. I thought he responded weird when Sam mentioned the Hobbit dude.”      “Is the Methodist Medical Center the only dead men’s storage in town?” Zoë asks the whizkid on Dean’s right.      “Not sure. Let me check.” Sam takes out his laptop and sets it up on the table. As he works the computer, Zoë continues their brainstorming session.

     “One way or the other, we need to get our hands on Laura’s death report and we need to figure out who wrote it. I’m guessing someone covered for Shire,” she speaks up.      “How is that even possible these days, with all the paperwork and the forensics?” Sam rubs his temple, taking in Zoë for a second, but then returns his gaze to the laptop screen in front of him.      “You think we’re the only ones who lie and deceive?” Zoë returns, smartly. 

     “We need to talk to more people. Someone who was there and experienced the abuse first hand and might know more about the cover-up. The Shire dude’s wife maybe?” Dean suggests.      “We can’t turn up on her doorstep and confront her. If she doesn’t know her husband possibly erased evidence, it’s just gonna bring a shit ton of drama and a hell of alot explaining to do when she starts asking questions,” Zoë makes clear.

     She forks her fingers through her hair and checks her phone for the time; shit. It’s almost 1 PM. Frustrated about the many blank pages of this case, she sighs, pulling at the corner of her bottom lip with her teeth. There’s so much about this job that doesn’t add up.      “I don’t get how she could still be here. There was nothing left of her remains,” she sighs.      “There has to be an explanation for that,” Sam ponders, as he stares at the address on display. “Anyway, there are no other morgues in town besides the one at the hospital on W. Kingshighway.”   

     “I tell you what.” With a neat throw Zoë tosses her empty plastic cup into the garbage can across the aisle. “Sam, you keep an eye on the Shire family. Dean’s gonna have a chat with Dr. Hughes, see if you can get some info on the death report. I’m gonna tail the teacher for a while,” she decides.      Sam nods approvingly before his brother can object. He folds down the laptop screen and gets up. “Sounds good to me.”      “Make sure you keep your eyes open, that little pain in the ass manages to beat up grown ups without the people next door noticing,” Zoë warns as she picks up her helmet from the bench.      “You think this is our first rodeo?” Dean responds with a scoff.      “You didn’t see me coming the other night in Rochester,” she counters sassy.

     As she passes him she pets his shoulder, the one she put a bullet in only two nights ago. Dean flinches when a dim pain shoots through his arm again. That fucking b--      Before he can call her names, she exits the fast food restaurant, probably expecting the Winchesters to follow like obedient dogs. Stunned, he watches her walk over to her motorcycle, huffing in disbelief. First she doesn’t want their help, and now she’s giving out orders like she rules the fucking world. He didn’t think it could be possible, but his detest for her just grew to an all time high.

     “Mark my words, one of these days I’m gonna shoot her down,” he announces frustrated.      “Ahuh,” Sam responds, cynicism on his tongue as he puts the laptop in his backpack. “Just make sure you don’t pull a gun on her in public, will you?”      “Can’t make any promises.” His brother huffs. “Anyway, you can have the car if you drop me off at the hospital. Let’s get this over with so that we can put some distance between us and the Wicked Witch of the West.” 

     Sam’s lips form a constricted smile, luckily his brother doesn’t notice. He has to admit that he’s enjoying the fact that his big brother is being told what to do by a girl, while normally he only takes orders from one person and one person only; their dad. What he finds interesting, however, is that despite a few muttered objections, Dean actually follows through with it. 

     “And you know what’s the fun part about all this?” Sam nags as they exit In-N-Out.      “What?” Dean responds, annoyed, scanning the parking lot in order to spot Zoë’s Road King.      “You have to dress like a penguin again.” The younger Winchester grins as he opens the door to the passenger’s seat.

     His brother stares at him over the top of the car, realizing he’s going undercover as the FBI Agent Young once more.      “Ah, come on! Can’t we trade?” he asks desperately.      Sam laughs and sits down. “No way, dude.”      Dean does the same and closes the door, complaining. “Man, I hate suits.”      “You think I’m comfortable in one during these temperatures?” Sam returns.      “Sam, even if I’d be freezing my ass off, I will never be at ease in that ridiculous outfit,” Dean states while turning the ignition, allowing Gimme Three Steps by Lynyrd Skynyrd to play on the cassette deck.

     “I’m not trading places. I can work some stuff out while I’m guarding the house,” Sam explains, looking outside the window, squinting his eyes to protect them from the sun.      “What stuff?” Dean questions, making sure it’s not just some lame excuse.      Sam looks aside and hesitates for a moment, but then tells him anyway. “I want to call some friends of Dad,” he admits.

     He feels Dean’s piercing gaze, but doesn’t look up. It’s only a matter of seconds before Dean pops the first question.      “Why?” Dean asks sternly.      “Why?! I don’t know about you, Dean, but I wanna find him,” Sam returns defensive.      Dean grips the wheel a little tighter; as if he doesn’t want to find Dad. Seriously? “So do I, but I don’t think it’s wise to start calling random hunters to ask where he is, Sam.”      “I won’t call ‘random’ hunters. I’ll call a few old friends, and why the hell not?” his brother questions.      “Because Dad doesn’t want to be found,” the oldest of the two claims.      “How could you possibly know that, Dean?! Seriously, do you have some kind of telepathic connection with the guy or what?” Sam reacts.      “Hey, you’re the psychic one, not me,” Dean counters. “If Dad wants us involved in his hunt, he will contact us one way or the other. You know that.”      “No, I don’t! I haven’t heard a word from him since I left for Stanford. I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man,” the younger brother argues.      “You were the one who fucking left, Sam. And let me tell you somethin’,” Dean pauses to enforce his words. “I trust him because he’s a damn good hunter.”      “He’s human! He makes mistakes just like anyone else, only this time you won’t be around to back him up. It’s not some monster that he’s hunting, this is the monster! The one that killed Mom, that killed Jess!” Sam adds up.      “You think I don’t realize that?” The car stops at a traffic light and Dean turns to him, his piercing green eyes judging his brother, the same way John so often has. “Of course I’d rather be backing him up right now, but he decided to do this alone and I accept that.”      “Why the hell, though? Just because he says so?” Sam huffs, shaking his head disappointed.      “Hell yes, because he says so!” his brother snaps. “He leads this mission, and we stick to the orders he gives us. It’s about fucking time you show him the respect he deserves.”      “He has to earn that first,” the younger Winchester responds.      “He earned that a long time ago. Every time he protected you, protected us. Everything that we were taught, all the skills that we’ve learned. You were so caught up in the illusion that school was gonna work out, that when he objected because he didn’t want you to be on your own, you cut all ties,” Dean barks at him as he accelerates faster than necessary. “Why the hell do you want to find him so bad if you hate his guts, huh?”      “I don’t hate his guts,” Sam says, his voice a lot less hostile than a moment ago.

     Dean takes his eyes off the road again and glances at the passenger, noticing the defeated expression on Sammy’s face. Annoyed with himself he looks ahead again, shutting his eyes for a second when a pang of guilt distinguishes the anger in a matter of seconds. He meant to give his little brother a reality check, but all he did was hurt him.      “Sam, I get you want answers. But calling his friends isn’t the way to do it. We just gotta be patient.”

     His brother's jaw clenches and he looks away, not denying nor confirming that Dean is right and that he himself will listen. It doesn’t matter anyway; there’s no way he can turn his brother’s mind around. And Dean claims Sam is the one who is like their old man? Just now he was sure to sit next to a younger version of Dad. 

     He can't agree with the reasoning behind Dean’s actions, though. His older brother dragged him out of school to find Dad and now that it’s coming down to that, he doesn’t want to go out on a search. Sam on the other hand, he has to find him. Not only does he have some unresolved issues with his father, John is also the only hunter who has been tracking the thing that ruined their lives. He is the key to finding answers. It’s all he can think of; hunting down the bastard that killed Mom and Jessica. 

     Without saying another word, Dean drives his Impala to their motel, convinced he made his point, even though he hurt his brother’s feelings to get the message across. But Sam isn’t going to let go, neither will he trade places with Dean on their jobs. During his hours of watching the Shire family, he’s gonna make those calls and he is going to find their father. Whether Dean likes it, or not.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).    

Read chapter nine here

#Supernatural: the Sullivan Series #Supernatural OFC series #Supernatural fanfiction #Dean Winchester fanfiction #Sam Winchester fanfiction #Dean fanfiction #Sam fanfiction #Dean angst #Sam angst #Dark!Supernatural #supernatur #spn #stss #1x02 in bad waters #Zoë Sullivan #Kate Huntington

[horrorhot-line]

Do you have any writing tips Coz i rlly like your writing ❤😭

This one took a while to answer because of how much I had to say. (Please keep in mind that I am in no way telling you to follow these tips, take whatever you think will work for you and discard what doesn't, okay?)

Alright, first things first, I've been writing on and off for the past seven years, and I can say for a fact that I've definitely improved since my first fic (which was on paper, we don't talk about it). The following tips are what works for me, and what I believe has helped me become better at writing. 

Remember, fanfiction is supposed to be self-indulgent, and therefore you are entitled to write whatever you like because it's your work, so you don’t have to follow any of these tips if you don’t feel like it.

Proofreading, making sense & grammar

Grammar and punctuation make a huge difference. You could have an amazing story, but bad grammar can make that piece of work flop. Stories are supposed to be immersive, but if there are too many mistakes or the words don't make sense, it can ruin it for a reader. (I don't mean your garden variety missing letters, I mean something like 'an he and her goes and u were like oh no'.) I can't name the amount of time I've started to read something online and ditched it because the grammar irks me (your instead of you're, their instead of they're and so on). I've seen a lot of fanfiction writers also switch between past tense, present tense and future tense in the same paragraph, which makes it hard to understand what's happening. 

If you're trying to post and have it get attention, please do check your work to make sure it makes sense. Write down everything first, don't correct anything, and once you're done writing the scene, go back to proofread the whole thing. Get someone to read it for you and point out mistakes or things that don't make sense, if you can. 

If you can't, then there are alternatives. There's 'text to speech', where you can copy and paste what you've written down onto a website, and it will read the text out loud to you. It works the best (for me anyway). There's also grammarly, which is kind of similar to google docs except it points out all the mistakes you may have in your work. (Bear in mind a few mistakes don't matter, but if there's too many then it's likely that your post or blog won't get much attention.) This tip helps you to get a lot of likes on your writing.

Research

If you're writing fanfiction, please study the character(s). My biggest pet peeve when I read fanfiction, is that the love interest is out of character. Whether it be the way they talk or the way they act, if it isn't close to canon, I cannot read it.

So, if you're trying to gain traction and have your work get a lot of positive feedback or likes, then it's best to do research. Most fictional characters have wiki pages where their personalities, relationships and life stories are listed, so why not make the most of it? It's all there for the taking. When writing for a character, rewatch the show/movie to get a good grasp of their personality and then begin to write. The more canon your writing is, the more people will enjoy it.

Reader Inserts

Ever come across an x reader where there's way too much description about their appearance? (Specified hair colour, hair length, named family members etc.) I once read a reader insert where the author described the reader as someone who had pale skin, blue eyes and blonde hair... I was like, huh? That's not what I look like :') 

When you specify or go into details about 'reader's' appearance, it will most likely ruin the mental image your readers have in their heads already. I feel like when one tries to write a story or oneshot with a reader, they should be as vague as possible. There's no need to specify the height, or the reader's dream job or names of family members, or outfit choice- that's up to the people that are reading your stuff to work out. Leave it to their imagination. (This doesn't apply to requests made by others for specific character traits or appearances.)

Write believable characters

If your work has a reader insert or original characters, please make them believable. You don't want to write characters that are 2D and have little to no depth. Please don't make them perfect, that takes the fun out of things and makes your character somewhat boring. You don’t want to write a character that your readers find it hard to care about, so even if you were to kill them, the readers wouldn’t care. 

Make them real, with real problems and a factor of relatability. Heck, give them toxic/bad personality traits while you're at it. Easily irritable, overly sensitive, cynical, selfish, manipulative, people pleaser- the list is endless (we all have our flaws, no?). Contrary to what others may believe, this will make your character easy to relate to or understand, and more people will like your work that way. (this links to my next tip btw)

Mary Sues

I've seen this a lot in the fanfiction community, and oh god, does it make me cringe (this is because of personal preference, though). Mary sues, if you aren't aware, are perfect characters that have no faults. They don't make mistakes, and everyone loves them even if they do nothing. They are basically the perfect hero/heroine, and that makes them boring. My biggest pet peeves are mary sues in fanfiction author's works, (but, this is because I can't stand perfect and over-powered characters that everyone seems to fall for at first sight). 

Fair enough if the entire story is self-indulgent, I'm not here to bash others over personal preferences (this is just how I feel on the matter), but that also means that you take the risk of your work flopping for that sole reason. Your work might not get any traction or positive feedback because it is overly indulgent. 

Don't make your original character or reader insert a mary sue. Throw hurdles and hardships at them, let them make huge mistakes and learn from them, let them mature. Let them have flaws, let them win over the love interest slowly, instead of having the two fall in love instantly. 

Use the right inspiration for romantic relationships

Please for the love of god do not use toxic relationships as your inspiration for the romance you write into your story. 'After' by Anna Todd comes to mind first, as it is a good example of a romance written horribly. If you don't know already, then it's a Harry Styles wattpad fanfiction that got popular and was published, with two movie adaptations out already, (with more on the way)- the classic good girl falls for bad boy cliche. 

So, what's so wrong with 'After'? For one, the male interest is toxic as hell. Anger management issues, substance abuse, trash personality, the list goes on. What does the female interest to about it? Absolutely nothing. She lets him walk all over her and forgives him for it every time. 

Please don't use stories like this as a basis for what the romance in your work is like. Relationships where one abuses the other, whether it be mentally, physically or verbally are wrong and shouldn't be glorified nor romanticised. Relationships are supposed to be healthy, and shouldn't tear the people in it, apart. Use the right inspiration, there's plenty out there.

Writing chemistry between characters

For me, I use inspiration where ever I can find it. Movies, animes, books, real life, you name it. Observe the different types of media around you. How do friends interact with each other? How is it different from childhood friends and family friends? How is it different to lovers? I watch Netflix shows/movies in my free time, mostly romance- and yes, it is for research purposes. From there, I take a particular interaction or scene and get to thinking. If the characters from my works were in that situation, how would they react? 

Ever watched a movie or a show and thought to yourself, 'Wow, the interactions are so awkward'? That's mostly because the script is forced, and that's the last thing you want to write like. Chemistry, whether it be platonic or romantic, should be natural. The best way for you to do this is by thinking about how characters would interact and letting it come naturally to you.

Don't rush it

You have all the time in the world to write chemistry between characters. Why rush it? Slow burns hit the hardest and a lot of people like them. What I mean to say is, please for the love of god, don't let the characters in your work meet and then immediately fall in love. 

The countless amount of times I've sighed in frustration because I've decided to read a story and the first chapter they meet, the second they're already a thing and the third they get married? (This is an exaggeration, but you know what I mean.) What? Why? The time between realising feelings and officially dating should at least take a month, so write with that in mind. (This tip doesn't apply to one-shots.)

Narration

I’ve seen authors skip out on explaining where the story takes place and give the bare minimum when it comes to details, and have realised that it makes it very hard for the reader to understand what’s happening. When there’s barely any context, the story is no longer immersive and is less enjoyable.

Focus on describing the settings. There should be more description than dialogue. The weather, the surrounding, if there are people near or not, smells, sounds, etc. This will help the reader visualise what's happening, and will make it more enjoyable all around. The surroundings should be included in your story to make it more interesting and to keep the reader hooked. I've seen authors do this in their fanfiction and my god, when it's done right, it is so beautiful.

The first paragraph

This is a tip I've only recently started to use. You should always start the first paragraph off with something interesting. It's gotta be eye-catching. This makes sure that the reader doesn't click off of your work before you get to the good bits. There are a lot of writers who start their stories off with the classic 'I woke up in the morning to the alarm clock sounding,' and it is the absolute worst because it's the most overused cliche I've ever seen. 

Reading about someone waking up isn't interesting unless it's important to the story. For example, you can start off with a character waking up, if they're sick, 'I jolted awake only to immediately groan at the headache I was hit with. I moved to massage the bridge of my nose, to ease my pain, somewhat. It was then that I realised I was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Breathing in through my nose, I kicked the covers off of myself in an attempt to try and cool down. Turning my head and coughing into my pillow, I wondered if it was even worth it to get up.'

Internal monologues

Internal monologues give character to the person you're writing about and also gives the reader a good idea of what they're like. They also make your story better as a whole and can prove to lengthen it a bit more. Sprinkle them in where you see fit.

For example, 'The school day dragged on. You gazed at the clock yet again- why did it feel as if the hand on it hadn't moved? You should have stayed home. What was the point of this again? You could be spending your time doing something better. You suppressed the urge to yawn as the teacher droned on about how to calculate frequencies and wavelengths.'

Read

I mean this. When you're not writing, read, and do it like it's a job. Find a good book or a fanfiction that's well written, and take note of things the author has done that you think, 'Oh! That's worded beautifully.' This will help you expand your vocabulary, provide you with inspiration and overall will improve your writing.

hope this helps 💞💞💞💞

#anon ask #ask response #writing tips

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

one | hard to forget | hangman.

↱ authors notes: ↲

Ahhh okay. Here we go. This is going to pick up where Darlin left off, give or take a few days so... if you haven’t read that, you might want to stop everything and go click on the link above and do that. I’m a little excited right now, because I purposely ended that one-shot on a cliffhanger. Because I wanted to try this so... Here’s to hoping it doesn’t flop.

↱ pairing ↲

adam hangman page x ofc! rosalie.

↱ summary↲

Adam and Rosalie shared a night together. A night that neither one of them can forget and yet, neither one of them seem to be able to talk to the other about. Between their own personal issues, backstage gossip and other awkwardness, will they eventually find their way together?

↱ warnings↲

I switch back and forth between first and third person (first=rosalie and third=hangman) and I realize that can be jarring for some, so I thought I’d warn you about that now... Now on to the actual warnings you need to be aware of...slow burn. angst. two stubborn fucking people both going through their own issues. alcohol mentions. probably smut at some point, idk. for now, that’s all I got.

↱ tag squad↲

If you want to be tagged in my writing, go add your @ to this doc here. If you’re not on there / haven’t told me you want to be tagged, you’re not getting tagged.

@kyleoreillysknee​

@rampagewriting​

@writertoo18​

@thatnerdwriter​

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure​

@chasingeverybreakingwave​

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif​

@sassymox​

@unabashedwrestlefics​ 

@wardl0w​ 

@wrestlingthot​ 

↱ other stuff ↲

[ tag list doc | masterlist | soundtrack to this fic | about page ]

                                                ONE 

[ ROSALIE]

I could feel Adam’s eyes on me, but like I’ve been tending to do lately, I trained my eyes intently on my Instagram app. I was only half listening to what Swole was saying at this point and I think she knew it, because she cleared her throat to get my attention as she nodded in Hangman’s direction.

“What?”

“Did you talk to him?” she gave me an expectant look as she licked the pudding off her spoon and I dropped my head, sighing quietly. “What do you think?”

“I think that if you don’t at least say something, you’re never gonna know.”

“And maybe that’s the way it should be, Swole.” I shook my head as I picked up the bottle of water sitting to my left and sat my cell phone down.

Sonny Kiss flopped down into the chair next to mine and took one look at me before bursting into laughter and shooting Swole a look. “She still hasn’t said anything.”

“Did you really think she would?” Swole scoffed at Sonny, shooting me a playful dirty look. “That man is over there suffering right now, girl.”

“It’s got nothing to do with me though. Besides, look at me!” I shook my head, picking at my salad as I lowered my voice and finished, “I’m a goddamn mess.”

“I swear to God, if one of them doesn’t bring up what happened soon, I’m taking matters into my own hands and shoving them in a closet together.” Thunder Rosa spoke up from her spot at the table. 

All I could do was open and close my mouth, trying to stammer out something in my defense. There wasn’t anything, no excuse I could offer to justify not attempting to find out what the other night meant to Adam, if it even meant anything at all. I just simply couldn’t bring myself to do it.

To hear it one more time. And this time from someone who’d managed to get deep under my skin. Who now lived in my head -and my heart, totally rent free.

I knew I’d never be able to handle hearing the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” shtick again. And I knew that Adam Page was a far better man than I could ever hope to even come close enough to being worthy of.

“So you’re a mess. I mean… He’s been a train wreck too, as of late.”

I gave Thunder Rosa an evil look almost as soon as she said it, but I found my gaze drifting off her and settling on him. Sitting alone in the corner of catering. It took everything in my power not to get up and go over to him like I wanted. But somehow, I managed to keep from doing it. 

“I know! And that’s probably the only reason he stooped to hook up with me! Guys, look. I love all of you but the facts are the facts...Sometimes, things just happen. Me hooking up with Adam last week? He was in a bad place. We know he never would’ve done it otherwise. Kinda sucks because we all know how I felt about it happening. I love the guy. And I just…” I trailed off because I’d been about to remind myself for the millionth time that it was ridiculous, we barely spoke. And he probably didn’t know my actual name, hence the reason he referred to me as darling the entire time. It wasn’t a term of endearment, but more likely, a way for him to distance himself from what was happening. A placeholder name because given how fast we got to that stage, it wouldn’t exactly have been anything short of awkward as hell for him to stop and ask my damn name.

I was determined. It was drilled into my brain. That night probably didn’t mean anything to him. He was lonely, hurting and I was a comforting warm body. We’re both consenting adults, sometimes things happen that way. God, did I not want it to be true. But, I was trying to really hammer it in my brain that more than likely, it was true.

“I mean I beg to differ, but go on, Rosalie. Show your whole stubborn ass, girl.” Sonny insisted, giving a snort and shaking their head at me. Thunder Rosa glanced from me to someone just behind me and as she grumbled and continued to stare behind me, my stomach churned.

“Well, if you didn’t want word getting out, that’s probably not gonna be a possibility anymore. Especially the part about you being in love...”

I felt my stomach starting to churn and I dropped my head to the tabletop, lightly banging it against. “Seriously? Who heard it?”

“Oh, only Matt fucking Jackson.” Swole rolled her eyes as she told me who’d been eavesdropping.

“Well that’s just fucking splendid.” I grumbled quietly, biting my lip as I watched Matt walking across catering towards his brother Nick. He winked at me before whispering something into Nick’s ear and if I thought my stomach was churning before, whew.. It was really churning now.

“Welp, that settles it. Time to look into selling a kidney. To buy a private island.” I tried to make a joke out of the situation, standing abruptly and gathering up my wrappers and the empty water bottle. Bracing myself to walk right past Matt and Nick’s table on my way to the bin.

And then Adam’s table on my way out of catering.

I’d just thrown away my trash and turned around, finding myself body to body with Matt.

“What?” I eyed him, trying my best to play casual. Pretend like I wasn’t fully aware he’d overheard my dirty little secrets. He eyed me up and down, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Just find it interestin’ is all.”

“What?” I rolled my eyes, attempting to make a step to the side and get the hell away from him. 

“You and Hangman.”

“What about it? Look, if you’re about to be sleazy, just know that Adam and I were a one time thing. And I do not intend to repeat what happened with anyone else. Especially not you.” I took a deep breath as I finished speaking, my body tense and prepared for battle. I know how men like Matt are when their ego gets a little wounded.

He pouted a little, leaning in closer. “Oh? But you were just sayin you loved the guy. I was just thinkin… If he’s not into you, darlin.. Maybe you could give me a shot?”

“What I said is precisely why I wouldn’t bother with you.. I’m not into flings, thanks bye.” I snapped at him as I gaped up at him in disbelief. I shoved past Matt with my ears burning, not daring to look anyone else in the eye on my way out. 

“You know you’re curious, sweetheart.” Matt taunted after me. I didn’t even bother dignifying the remark with a comeback because honestly, I was just still seething from the audacity of the guy to even say it to me.

Adam and I collided hard. He reached out to steady me and like an idiot, I shrank away, flinching a little because I was still unnerved by Matt’s whole attempt a few seconds before. Staring up at him a second or two, willing my brain to work. 

The second I saw his eyes darken and get stormy, I swallowed hard. 

,, welp, that confirms it. Guy can’t even look at me without being disgusted.” I thought to myself, taking a deep breath, muttering quietly, “Sorry, I.. I was in a hurry.”

“Yeah, I can see that, Rosie.”

Him actually using my name and not simply settling for Darlin’ had a little flicker of hope daring to spring to light. It was hope I quickly dashed. Nope, not likely.

Those baby blues were fixed on me and I felt my thighs clench all over again. My mouth opened and closed too. I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t make everything so much more awkward than it was just leaving it be like I had been.

“I.. I have to go.” I pushed past him and hurried out of catering, down the hall and into the hair and makeup room. I leaned heavily against the wall, taking a few shaky breaths. There was so much I would’ve said if I hadn’t left in a hurry. Everything I felt, everything I wanted and needed, it had all been literally a breath away from spilling out. 

[ ADAM ]

,, Well, that’s that.” Adam sighed as the thought came, shaking his head sadly. He’d been trying for a little over a week now to get her to herself because someone had to mention what happened. It obviously wasn’t going to be her. 

And if the way she flinched back at me a few seconds ago is anythin’ to go by,” Adam thought to himself, “She doesn’t want me to bring it up either.” 

Just the thought ate him up. It added to everything else already happening, everything that was spinning too far out of control for him to even attempt fixing now.

He flopped back into the seat he’d been sitting in and propped his head against his hands, eyes closing tight.

There had to be some way out of all this. 

He really couldn’t stomach the possibility that he was going to lose everyone. Her, before he even really got a chance to have her like he wanted. All to himself.

,, figures, she agrees with the rest of ‘em. Well, fuck it.” the intrusive thought crept in and Adam fought to keep it out.

But lately, it was getting harder and harder to fight these pesky little intrusive thoughts. He was starting to resign himself to the fact that everything about his current situation in life was fucked 10 ways to Sunday and he was starting to realize that while his friends may have set it in motion months ago, he certainly hadn’t helped matters only.

Finishing his bottled water, he stood and made his way over to the garbage, tossing the bottle in. He didn’t particularly care to stick around. Making conversation with any of them seemed a bit of a moot point now. He didn’t even begin to know where to start, making things right with his friends.

And Rosie? Still a huge goddamn mystery to him.

He felt like they might have connected that night backstage. But then she made herself damn near invisible. And she was nothing if not good at it, too. And asking around didn’t help anything. Asking around only seemed to highlight the fact that nobody actually knew her. 

All he wanted was one chance. One shot to explain that if he didn’t already want her so badly he could feel it in his bones way down deep, that night never would’ve went down between them. That he hadn’t just been doing it as a heat of the moment thing. That she hadn’t just been a source of comfort that night.

He spotted Sonny on his way out of catering and he stopped them.

“How well you know Rosie?” Adam asked the question cautiously, eyeing Sonny intently, hoping maybe he’d get some form of answer he could work with. Anything right now would be nice. Because right now, he was officially out of ideas. ,, aside from the obvious one, goin up to her and demandin to talk. Because of course, that’s outta the damn question. I can’t handle hearin’ here politely tell me that night was a one time thing when I want it to be more than that.” Adam thought to himself as he shuffled his feet, waiting. 

Sonny eyed him, a hand on their hip as they did so. “Well enough to say that if you don’t say something first, nothing will ever be said, Page.”

With that said, Sonny turned on their heels and walked out of the area, leaving Hangman to stand there, his hand against the back of his head as he tried to figure out what his next move was.

,, If I even bother with one. That flinch ought t’ be my answer. People don’t flinch without a damn good reason. The reason was obviously me. She regrets it. I need t’ leave it alone. Let her be.” 

[ ROSALIE]

The door banged shut to hair and makeup and I caught sight of Thunder Rosa making her way in, flopping down into my hair and makeup chair again. 

“Girl, that new guy in Lights. He asked for your number again.”

“Yeah, no.. He wants a hook up. God knows I’ve made enough of a mess lately.”

“And you’d only sleep with a co-worker if you really love them. Like Adam?” Rosa teased and I grumbled at her, shrugging. “I never said that.”

“You don’t have to! You’re a shitty liar and you can’t hide anything to save your life. The only thing saving your skin is the fact that the poor guy has a ton of baggage heaped on him right now.”

“Speaking of… That interview with Tony earlier.. Is he okay right now?”

“You’d know if you’d fucking talk to the man.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. The sting of the words he said about himself earlier came rushing back all over again.

“I feel like from head to toe, I’m full of poison.” 

No matter what I tried, I couldn’t un-hear the words. And all I’d wanted to do when I heard him say it was go to him. Show him that he wasn’t.

I kind of have the feeling that right now, he’d never believe me. And it bothers me.

And the fact that it bothers me bothers me even more.

I grumbled at myself in frustration all over again as I dug around in my kit, getting out the stuff I used to do Rosa’s lashes and the other makeup she’d need to paint the half of her face and I sighed.

Yeah, I know everyone is right. I should talk to him. But here’s the thing. I fucking can’t. I’ve literally been outside of his hotel room. A speech all prepared in my head. About to knock on the door. 

And then all I can hear is everything I’ve ever heard out of anyone else when I dare hope that maybe just once I’ll be enough.

Or all the stuff my ex liked to say to try to keep me with him. 

Once that stuff gets in your head and it fucks with you, it never entirely stops. And I know that even if I had him, my own insecurities would probably drive him running for the hills if nothing else did first.

“You know that doing this is letting Jonny win..Right? The only out is through. You need to work through all this stuff in your head that keeps insisting you’re not worth it for somebody.”

“Did you just shrink me, Rosa?”

“I call it like I see it.”

“And all I’m saying is that maybe.. Throwing myself headfirst into… this.. Is not the best idea for either of us right now. I had him, okay? For one night, I had him. If that’s all I get, that’s all I get.”

“But you could have more. You could talk to the man. You could work through whatever happened. Because I don’t think he’d just fucking sleep with you if he didn’t want you already, okay? He’s not exactly like the other jerks we work with.”

“I know.” 

God, did I know. His being completely different than other men was what drew me to him. Because he wasn’t  

He stood out among all the douche bags and dogs that seemed drawn to me like a magnet. For whatever reason, the calm I felt whenever he was around was almost overwhelming. It terrified me because I hadn’t ever felt it before.

It made it entirely too easy for me to just let go. Take the risk of opening up all over again. Something I hadn’t done in so long that now, faced with the desire to do so, I was actually terrified of doing it. 

“It’s driving you crazy, Rosie. Either you do something about it, or you let a shot pass you by. I thought you were the kind of girl who doesn’t scare easily.”

“This is different.” I emphasized my point and gave a pleading look, hopeful that maybe she’d leave the situation alone. But no, of course not. She pressed further.

“No, it’s stupid, that’s what it is.”

And yeah, I knew she was right. It was stupid. And I did want to say something. I couldn’t keep avoiding the guy. But damned if I knew how to go about bringing up what happened between us, let alone anything else I might want and need to ask him.

Besides, the way he looked at me earlier in catering hadn’t exactly inspired any confidence to do so.

“At least think about it.”

“I am. Constantly.”

“I can’t with you.”

“I can’t with myself right now, honestly. I really went all out with this one, huh?” I laughed and shook my head as I sank down into a chair and took a few deep breaths. “It doesn’t have to be this damn dramatic.”

“Exactly!”

‘But then I think I have the nerve to talk to him and I think of a million and one good reasons not to.” 

“Damn it, Rosie.”

“I just… I need time. I need to ease into this.”

The door was knocked on and Rosa and I shared a look. I stood and made my way over, throwing it open. MJF stood there, that little smirk as he eyed me up like a piece of meat. I scowled at him.

“What the hell do you want, Max? Was my not unless hell froze over not clear enough?”

“Oh.. it was clear. But here’s the thing.. I refuse to believe it.” Maxwell stepped into the room and I grumbled, flipping off his turned back after rolling my eyes skyward.

Did anybody backstage know how to keep their goddamn mouth shut?

“See. I heard something interesting about you.” Maxwell held my gaze, a calm smirk playing at his lips as he looked me up and down. I could feel my stomach churning already and honestly, it took everything inside of me NOT to just reach out and strangle Maxwell... First Matt, then him.. Because obviously, Matt’s been running his mouth about what he just heard, that has to be it... I reminded myself, taking a deep breath as I tried to calm down.

“Oh yeah?”

“I heard you actually did get mixed up with somebody back here. Contrary to what you told me.. You know, that crap about not mixing business with pleasure.”

“See, here’s the thing, Maxy boy. I never said I considered… anything… involving you… Pleasure. So… there’s that.” I pointed to the open door and he eyed me, rubbing his chin. “You’ll wind up giving in. Everybody does.” I stood taller, giving a firm glance to the door before glaring up at him and tapping my foot. All I wanted was Maxwell to get the hell away from me. I mean.. Sure that was tied with the firm desire to find Matt Jackson and punch him in the cock because somehow, he must have been running his mouth and now, naturally, my personal business was all out there for the world to know, but hey.. Getting Maxwell the entire fuck out of my sight was up high on that list.

“Pretty sure I’d rather bind my legs shut with molasses first. Are you done making an entire ass of yourself? Because I’d really like to get back to my actual job.” I rolled my eyes and again, I pointed at the door. The guy had three seconds and I was going to let my inner bad bitch out to play. Lucky for me, Maxwell seemed to finally take the hint and he made a retreat, eye-fucking me one last time on his way out the door.

Once the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it and lightly beat the back of my head against. “I swear to God, this is… Why am I the kind of person who goes without being messy until suddenly, I go ham and it’s a literal shit-storm?”

“I mean, look on the bright side. Sooner or later now one of you has to bring it up?”

“Fucking hilarious, Rosa. Fucking hilarious.” I muttered sarcastically as I poked my tongue out at her and pouted.

“If the poor guy wasn’t disgusted enough at doing what he and I did last week already, pretty sure he’s gonna fucking LOVE this going around.” I rubbed my forehead, pacing back and forth in front of the door.

“Nobody’s gonna even think about this longer than a day.”

I eyed her with a brow raised. Somehow, I doubted. 

“I’m being serious. This is not a big deal. Tomorrow something else will happen and nobody’s gonna think about it.”

“ God, I can only hope.” I mumbled quietly as I made the choice to shove it all out of my head, get to work on Rosa’s makeup for the night instead. In the back of my mind, I found myself wondering just how far spread everything had gotten by now.

Knowing Matt’s tendency to shoot off his mouth, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m the talk of the men’s locker room. I pretty much resigned myself to the realization that if I wanted things to go smoothly between me and Adam, this getting out probably guaranteed they wouldn’t.

And in a flash, something intimate and private, between two people, became this publicly known thing. And it annoyed me, because that was never what I intended. Especially granted what Adam’s already going through with the guys.

He didn’t need this shit on top of it.

#adam hangman page #adam hangman page fic #adam hangman page fanfiction #adam hangman page imagines #my fics; adam hangman page #adam hangman page; fanfiction #my fanfiction; adam hangman page #adam hangman page imagine #part 1 of ?

[forestfanders]

Birds of a feather - pt 3 Emoticons

A long list of injuries on the page, and a longer list of potential responses to their trauma. Working out how to treat the pair of tiny humanoid avians was going to be a challenge, but it is one Logan and Patton are determined to meet. Pt 2: Roman tests the boundaries of this new place. whump, hurt/comfort and dehumanisation <3 wingfic tw: animal abuse, mention of burns and neglect AO3 link

chapter 1/ chapter 2/ 

The bird man had given Patton the most adorable little wave, and the therapist had felt his heart break a little more.

The pair had been a mess. Their tiny bodies were swamped with bandages, but most harrowing was the wariness in their postures. Princey’s eyes had been clouded with fear, but held a longing to interact, to answer Patton’s questions. Patton just knew there was an outgoing free spirit under there, just waiting to be given permission to shine beneath the fear he had been subjected to. And Anxiety had lived up to his name. The poor kiddo had been practically catatonic in a dissociative fugue, but Patton knew that with a good environment and plenty of reassurance, he too could find peace.

When he looked at them, Patton knew he wanted to protect them.

And he had a plan.

Step one was to get them feeling a bit more secure. Remy had mentioned the pair weren’t eating, weren’t speaking, weren’t doing much of anything in their frightening new surroundings filled with uncertainty. And so Patton had talked gently to the other sick animals in the room, reassuring them, and carefully laying the groundwork for a conversation with the avians. And it seemed to have worked: while not exactly comfortable, they were able to pay attention to what he was saying.  

Step two was to get them actually eating and looking after themselves. After what had seemed a gargantuan feat of bravery, Princey had managed to eat some chicken. Logan had stealthily wandered past a couple of hours later and had sighted Anxiety tackling a large piece of spinach, so there was hope that he too was now eating.

The next steps were to find a temporary home for them, work out some habitat enrichment to keep them entertained, and finally, to introduce enough human interaction to help them on their way to long-term psychological recovery and a forever home.

Patton had been picking at ‘creating a welcoming home for your avian’ and ‘cute toys for bird bois’ articles since he had got home. He put another round of notes in the haphazard googledoc he was compiling. He wanted to do the very best he could for them, but it was starting to get overwhelming.

-88888-

It was only 7:58, but Logan couldn’t wait the extra 2 minutes to text Patton tonight. His brain would not switch off from the events of the day, could not be swayed from the conundrum that was the animal rescue’s latest arrivals. He may be breaking his standard evening routine texting early, but tonight it was necessary.

Logie Bearry Jam: Good evening Patton, how was your dinner?

He sent the text, and picked up the blanket he was crocheting, trying to lose himself in the movement of the hook and the weaving of the wool until Patton replied back.

Pattoncakes: tofu and carrot stir fry with rice 🥕🍚😍🥰😇🍽️✨👻😽

Logan smiled internally at Patton's enthusiastic use of emojis. While in others the behaviour may have been grating, with Patton, it was just another outlet of the man’s effervescence.

Logie Bearry Jam: that sounds delicious. I had pasta with tomato sauce. I liked it.

These texts were a ritual, the same kind of message Logan sent every night. Peace washed into his veins.

Patton shot off a gif of the spaghetti scene from Lady and the tramp.

Pattoncakes: Spagooto🍝👨🍳sounds good! What are you up to tonight?

Logie Bearry Jam:: I am crocheting a blanket. How about you?

Pattoncakes: 🐥🐥💞🤕I have been reading a lil bit about our newest arrivals <3.

And there was the perfect opportunity to sway the conversation in the direction of his current worries. It was understandable that Patton would also be worrying about the same subject, and yet he suspected Patton knew he was worrying about the avians as well. Logan knew many people saw him as unfeeling. But Patton understood. He was good like that.

Logie Bearry Jam: I too have been thinking of the avains. Have you read anything interesting?

Patton sent a link to a google doc filled with links and notes.

Logan threw himself in.

For such delicate pets as humanoid avians, the information on how to look after them was muddied and mixed up, torn between the reality of what they were and what owners wished them to be. Dolls, children, highly-trainable, simple animals, held to the behavioural standards of adults, there was a mishmash of conflicting ideas.

Patton’s notes were in the early draft stage, filled with questions and ideas. He was not as focused on medical concerns Logan, instead choosing to consider a wide range of issues. He outlined every issue well, and had the therapeutic knowledge to challenge false behavioural information.

The document was beautiful.

Logan and Patton’s work rarely intertwined, and so it was rare that Logan got to see this side of the therapy worker. The side that was intelligent in his kindness, the thought process behind his ability to make people feel safe. Logan marveled anew at the incredible man his co-worker was, how capable, how eloquent...

What a joy to be a friend to a man like that.

Logan abandoned his crochet hook in preference of giving his laptop his full attention. They sent back and forth all manners of articles from owners tips to scientific studies. Taking in data, and weaving it into a usable care plan, evaluating all with a vets knowledge and a therapist’s experience.

They danced between information together, shifting through articles. It was so much more fun with Patton (metaphorically) by his side.

Logie Bearry Jam: Perhaps their enclosure can be moved to the vet’s office so that they can get used to humans coming and going, and so we can keep a close eye on them.

Pattoncakes: the vets office is pretty busy! Maybe once they settle a bit more. But right now i think that would be a bit scary

Pattoncakes: maybe the small animal room?

Logie Bearry Jam: It is the correct conditions in there for them.

Pattoncakes: aww and they can watch the bunnies playing!

Pattoncakes: I always find them fun to watch when i am sad

Logie Bearry Jam: Watching the rabbits would also be restful enrichment.

A gif of a happy rabbit running wildly around a room appeared on his screen, before swiftly being superseded by a barrage of twitching noses, floppy ears and bouncing bunnies.

Pattoncakes:  i also like taking my laptop in sometimes for paperwork, so i can pop in for a lil lovin socialisation too

He smiled at the mental image of Patton camped out on the floor of the rabbit room, trying to focus on work while Ted Bunndey ate his notebooks. Logan sincerely doubted much work would be completed. But Patton did indeed make for the very finest socialisation.

Pattoncakes: aaaw there are so many cute toys on the market for Avian humanoids!

Pattoncakes: so expensive though

Pattoncakes: look at this!

He sent a photograph of some over-the-top prince outfit aimed at owners with more money than sense.

Pattoncakes: Princey would look so cute in this!

Pattoncakes: I don’t suppose it is the kind of thing the avians would actually enjoy though *a sticker with a confused looking pink bear*

Logie Bearry Jam: It is doubtful, though some do enjoy it the way many children enjoy imitating their parents. I believe it to be unsanitary at this stage in their recovery, but if they do express a wish to wear garments it is not unhealthy to do so.

Pattoncakes: you could crochet them matching jumpers!  ;P

Logan and Patton wove a plan together. A shining roadmap, flexible but comprehensive. Something that accounted for their physical recovery and mental capabilities. Rules on how to treat them to build trust, further the concept that they were safe. Ways to let them confirm that they would not be touched without permission, that play did not warrant punishment, that there would always be food.

Their web of plans completed, Logan picked up his crochet hook and resumed working on his blanket, the weight gone from his chest. Their conversation pooled into its regular comfortable flow, chatting back and forth about their respective days at work and discussion of mundane things. It was with regret Logan initiated his goodnight messages and deployed his customary goodnight sticker of a sleepy light blue bear with glasses that reminded him a bit of Patton. Patton sent his customary bombardment of illogical stickers and gif which tonight included a pair of canaries hopping around a bowl of water, a dragon with hearts for eyes, and a psychedelic goat.

-88888-

In the recovery room of the Animal shelter’s vet clinic, Virgil sat holding a peanut.

The room was almost dark now, the only light the soft glow of a nightlight in the corner that had been left on for them..

He had eaten 6 peanuts, several spinach leaves, and 4 ½ cubes of glorious chicken.

Roman was asleep behind him, his own hunger sated. Opposite them, a pair of rabbits munched hay. The mewling cat had been returned to her owners. It was quiet in the vets now.

Cautiously, he touched his stomach over the bandages. It gurgled happily beneath his fingers.

Virgil smiled.

===

Aaaand the emojis have not worked for the second half of the fic. Oh well, imagine Patton as the emoji fiend he is.

masterlist    next chapter

But Virgil eats a peanut! Yay XD This chapter is a lil shippy for you <3 Patton's texting is inspired by my girlfriend who is just the cutest emoji-wielding dork to walk the world. And while the fic will not focus much on romance, the carers deserve some soft times.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #whump #sanders whump #infinitesimal!sides #wingfic #animal abuse #animal neglect #food #just a little gay as a treat

[casselafrommanila]

How to Use Google Docs as a “Private” Journal

Have you ever been stuck in the dilemma between analog and digital journaling?

If so, you’re definitely not alone in this!

Everytime I try to start a consistent writing habit, may it be “morning pages” or just HII(T) writing session, I always end up asking myself, do I want to physically write out my thoughts for its personal touch or do I want to be efficient with my time and type it out?

There are pros and cons in each method that you may have already considered as a writer.

I love writing on a notebook because:

It’s private. Unless someone comes to my house and finds it lying around, I know for sure that I am the only one who can read it.

It’s going to last for a long time. Technology has proven its reliability for a while now, but what’s more reliable than having it physically with you?

There’s a personal touch to writing it out. Nothing is more personal and authentic than your own handwriting.

I love digital journaling because:

I can access it anywhere and anytime, as long as there’s WiFi/data. Even if not, it can be saved locally and then synced into cloud once WiFi is available.

It’s convenient. I only need to bring one device as opposed to having notebooks.

Typing is faster than writing.

The cons will be depending on what you use your journal for. Some use bullet journals which also track their calendar events, routine, and todo list. I personally only use my journal for my ideas, thoughts, diary, and moods.

My main issue with writing journals on Tumblr or WordPress, or even Blogger for a short while, was how painstakingly complicated it is to get to the actual page where I could write. Before I get to “Write a Blog Post,” I already had to go through ads or load up pictures that I’m not interested in at the moment. When I get to the actual page of writing posts, there are too many distractions that defeat my purpose of journaling for reflection and disconnection. 

And that’s how I came up with my idea to “make” my own “private” journal/diary using... Google Docs!

Step 1: (optional) Make a separate email address that will exclusively be for your journals. 

I like to keep a separate email address because each Google Drive account gives 15 GB of free storage. You also might not want your diary contents to be mixed up with school and work files the same way you’ll use separate binders or notebooks for each purpose.

Step 2a: Write the complete date (and time, if you want) as the document title. 

This will help when you’re trying to arrange your entries by “oldest to newest” regardless of if you made small edits on certain entries.

Step 2b: (optional) Change your font to Courier New and your font size to 12 to give your document a “typewritten” feel. 

Step 3: On the “View” toolbar, switch to Full Screen mode.

Step 4: On your Google Chrome browser, click the Options (3 vertical dots) where you’ll find Zoom. Make it fit-to-screen.

And voila!

This is how your screen will look like. Sure, it took a few steps to get there, but it’s free and it’s so much better than the paid options out there.

This set up reminded me of FocusWriter.co. I used their services for a while because I fell in love with its aesthetic, but I felt unsecured by where my entries are being stored and how I would be able to access them in the long run.

I called this Google Docs set up a “private” journal because while no one will see your Drive unlike on Tumblr or WordPress, I don’t really consider anything on the cloud as private.

I hope you find this mini tutorial helpful. It is my ideal case scenario at the moment. In the future, I would love to be able to type on an e-ink screen, and have a more portable laptop, maybe even a “laptop” that has journaling as its main (and maybe, only) function. Yay monotasking!

#journaling #diary #cassela from manila #blog post #tutorial #Google Docs #minimal #retro #typewriter #digital age