#the kind of villain who's charismatic one second and crazy the next

[addamvelaryon]

Balon was mad, Aeron is madder, and Euron is the maddest of them all

#valyrianscrolls #asoiafedit #eurongreyjoyedit #asoiaf #euron greyjoy #*gifs #*mine #ben barnes as the darkling looks so much like how euron is described in the books #(minus the heterochromia and blue lips) #the kind of villain who's charismatic one second and crazy the next #so I had to do it to em 👉👈

[accioecho]

Lee Da Hee for GQ Korea

"Everything becomes memories in the end. You should always strive to have a positive energy."

Feel free to share this translated interview! Though I would appreciate if you could credit me by linking back to this blog or tagging me on Twitter ^_^

GQ: But... uh, why do you look so happy? You’re looking at me with such a happy expression that I don’t know what to do right now.

LDH: Hahaha. No but if I kept listening with a blank expression, I would come off as cold looking. And you would go: “Are you in a bad mood?” So I try to smile more. Otherwise I would come off as cold looking.

GQ: That’s quite a big difference. I got startled when you pulled a straight face.

LDH: Right, it looks like I’m angry. But I’m not, so this is why I try to smile more. If I don’t smile like this, people tend to think I’m cranky. Of course when I get angry, I have a temper, but I’m not usually like that.

LDH: And it goes both ways, it’s easier for me to open up to someone if that person is smiling instead of sporting an expressionless face.

GQ: You were laughing/smiling so brightly that I was kind of hypnotized.

LDH: Hahaha

GQ: When you appeared in the drama “Beauty Inside”, you weren’t the typical villain wearing a red lipstick but were the kind of villain to wear a new, nude shade.

LDH: Ohh, that’s a very nice way to put it.

GQ: Really?

LDH: A nude tone villain. This is the first time I’m hearing this expression, I like it. Yes, up until then, secondary female characters usually tried to win someone’s heart or because they lacked attention and love, they tended to bother the female lead. But “Beauty Inside” was different. It was a different kind of role. I played a villain but my character wasn’t hateful. She had her own convictions and that’s why she was so interesting.    

GQ: Kang Sara was that kind of character, played by Lee Da Hee.

LDH: This is why I didn’t want to play the typical secondary character, the typical second female lead. Yes she was given a fancy background but I also wanted to try something new, something different. Not something that could be shown through strong makeup, I wanted to add a layer of depth to her style.

GQ: I think we could feel the difference hence why it was so interesting. It was obvious that you studied this role a lot and this perfected style has stuck to you, the actress.

LDH: Well, first of all, I find it fun to radically search for something new. In a way that doesn’t stand out too much, while still being faithful to the character, I try to bring out the best of what I can do. Back when I was younger, I had no clue about all that so I just did what I was told to do. As I matured, I discovered what were my weaknesses, what to cover/hide etc. For example, you might think that I’m skinny, and that all my clothes fit me well. But I have a big bone structure so clothes don’t fit all that easily. But because I know this about me, I’m able to adapt,  know how to find the right clothes to try to keep looking pretty. Thanks to the GQ photoshoot, I got to try out this colorful mascara for the first time. And it’s so much fun. As I experience new things one by one, I’m able to see what’s right for me and what’s not.

GQ: It might be insensitive/rude to say this to an actress who has a career spanning 20 years, but I feel like the name Lee Da Hee has become clearer to me since “Beauty Inside”.

LDH: No it’s not insensitive. I’m really thankful that you remember me from that role. No matter how recent the drama is, the point is that you remember me because I left you a good impression. I really appreciate it. To be honest, a lot of people remember me from my role in Beauty Inside. People actually think I didn’t play in many projects before that.

GQ: But you did consistently star in various projects.

LDH: Yes, but I guess they weren’t memorable roles. I don’t think I played characters that stayed in people’s minds. Beyond the character and the role in itself. A drama can be loved by a lot of people, but beyond that, when I watch a show as a viewer, there are some actors that leave a deep impression in the way they play their characters. I wonder if I lacked that kind of aspect. I kept thinking to myself that maybe there was something missing in my acting that didn’t leave a memorable impression.

GQ: You left quite a strong impression after playing roles like Kang Sara in Beauty Inside and Cha Hyeon in Search: WWW. But more recently in LUCA: the beginning, I feel like you shed that strong image. If you found a type of role that fit you, you could have just kept on playing the same kind of characters, but it looks like you’re not afraid to radically change your image.

LDH: You’re right, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to show a different side, something that differed from the bright roles I usually played. After Beauty Inside and Search: www, I was afraid of being type casted. I didn’t want people to think I always played the same kind of roles. But I think I was was too confident when I chose to play in LUCA. I thought I could do anything.

GQ: You thought you could do anything but it didn’t turn out this way?

LDH: Even my mom thought the same thing. That it wasn’t a really good fit. In a few words, she thought my acting felt a bit forced. Hahaha. That it didn’t really flow well. The main takeaway is that I tried something different. If it turns out to be a good fit, then it’s good and if it doesn’t, it means I can just find something that does.    

GQ: Your mother sounds like the type of person who doesn’t mince her words.

LDH: My mom is very level headed. Just by looking at my back, she can tell if I was focused or thinking about something else. I spent a lot of time with my mom, even more so than with friends, and I also cried a lot in front of her. If I ask her “Mom, what’s wrong with me”, she’ll tell me not to think these kind of thoughts, that whatever I’m thinking is not true. We had a lot of moments like that.

GQ: You looked so cheerful today that I didn’t think you could also have rough times.

LDH: Why wouldn’t I? I went through times of depression when I would think, “Am I charismatic enough?”, “Do I lack something as an actress?”. There were times when my self-esteem was very low.

Since I’m tall, I used to have Directors who always said “you don’t match, you don’t match” (with fellow actors). Since I couldn’t do anything about my height, I thought that I could at least work on my body, make myself smaller. So I worked really hard on my diet. I used to eat rice cake soup that my mom used to make using beef broth, once every day. My mom followed along and did the diets with me. Every time. You can guess what kind of mom she is, right? I used to say: “Mom, should we at least drink soju since we only had one meal today?” And we’d share a bottle.

GQ: Hahaha, I see that you don’t hide your positive energy.

LDH: Everything becomes memories in the end. You should always strive to have a positive energy. And try not to think negatively. This way, you can find more motivation when an opportunity comes along, and this is also how more opportunities come up. I know that if I don’t love myself, I’ll end up being depressed and have a low self-esteem. So starting with myself, I also try to be nice to everyone, to compliment them. Let’s not be hurtful, and let’s try not to say mean things. I try to tell myself I’m a good person, and I project that to others as well. Let’s be nice to each other. Let’s be someone that gives off a good energy.

GQ: Why did you hurt your knee?

LDH: Ah, this? (Points to her left knee). I rode one of those electric scooters and fell as I tried to avoid an electric pole.

GQ: It must have hurt a lot if you fell while riding it.

LDH: I’m okay now. It was a bit concerning at first, but I’m just glad I didn’t hurt my face. It’s too bad I fell while riding it for the first time, but I wanted to try it so I learned my lesson now. I don’t even look at the scooters now. I know they’re too dangerous for me.

GQ: You made a very decisive conclusion based on your experience.

LDH: Yes, I should never try to ride a scooter again.

GQ: I also see a scar on your neck. Do you fall often?

LDH: Hahaha. No, I was washing a necklace. It’s a necklace made with my grandmother’s ring but the edge is a bit sharp. I got scratched while washing it a bit hastily.

GQ: Did you grow up under your grandmother’s care?

LDH: No I didn’t... actually both of my grandparents died in a car accident. They were so healthy so I thought they would live for a long time, but they suddenly passed away. When I didn’t work for a while, they used to say “When are you going to make money”, or “how long are you planning to live like that, without earning any money for your mom and dad”. It hurt me sometimes. But whenever I appeared on tv, they were the first ones to watch, and they always asked me when I would be on TV, on which channel... and when the time came, they always made sure to turn the tv on and watch my shows, and whenever we met, they told me they were proud of me, holding my hands and hugging me. I always think about these times. I miss them. Very much.

GQ: This is very moving. I believe these emotions and feelings make who you are.

LDH: I might sound like a crazy person, hahahah, but I have a picture of my grandma and grandpa next to my bed, and I always speak to them: “Grandma, I’m back”. If I’m upset about something, I say “Grandma, this thing just happened and this is so hard. I miss you.” - that’s how I cope and move on. This is how I try my best everyday. It makes me focus on what’s important. My family, tomorrow (the future) and all the things I love.

#lee da hee #이다희 #gq korea #kdrama #search www #the beauty inside #i love her i love her i love her

[travllingbunny]

Tribes of Europa, season 1 - thoughts

I finished season 1 of German post-apocalyptic Netflix drama Tribes of Europa a couple of days ago, and I have... lots of thoughts and mixed feelings.

It's a standard post-apocalyptic show with all the usual tropes, but mostly well done, and has potential. I ended up liking it better than I expected, mostly because one of the storylines (Kiano’s) turned out to be pretty good/interesting.

The main problem of the show is that most characters, so far, don't have a lot of depth. An exception is a female villain who has proven to be quite complex and interesting. On the other hand, while  I loved seeing Oliver Masucci, in a role completely different from Ulrich Nielsen, and he's great and charismatic, I feel like I've seen the exact same lovable rogue-turned-mentor character a dozen times in various shows and movies. The main trio of young protagonists have the potential for interesting character development, but it remains to be seen what saason 2 does with it.

At least there's one thing that makes the show different than most post-apocalyptic shows I'm aware of - I can't think of any others that take place on the European continent? Usually it's North America, Australia, or UK. So, that's interesting... But then, after I finished it, I started thinking a bit more about some of the elements of the worldbuilding, which are a bit... questionable? I'm reserving judgment till these things are explained.

Spoilers under the cut.

In the first episode, the show did the GoT thing of introducing us to a likable family and then having siblings separated by fate and trying to get back together, while having different storylines. But they should've spent a bit more time with them together and explaining their history.

The show also does that thing where the siblings look nothing like each other and are played by actors of different ethnic origins, so I was waiting to hear they were half-siblings or some other explanation, but there was none. Well, OK then.

One thing I wasn't crazy about is that Kiano had a girlfriend we saw for about 20 seconds and then she apparently got killed for no particular reason. I can't say it's even fridging, since he never even mentions her afterwards and he has a lot of other reasons to hate the Crows.

But Kiano's storyline turned out to be the most interesting , and most disturbing, the kind that can make or break the show, depending on how it deals with issues like slavery, rape, trauma. So far, the show has dealt with it well, which made me like the show more than I thought. (It definitely beats The 100 - a show it was the 100 in the Netflix promo campaign - in that respect. I was already scared it would do something similar to The 100, which really dropped the ball when it touched on such issues in a really clumsy way in season 3.)

Lord Varvara has turned out to be the most interesting and compelling character, and excellently played by Melika Foroutan. (I wish I could say the same about the Crows’ big boss, Yvar - but whether it is mostly due to the OTT costume and makeup or the similarly OTT acting, I had a hard time taking this guy seriously.) She is not exactly morally grey - she is definitely a villain, slaver rapist and murderer, but her role as a former slave - a victim of abuse turned abuser, and someone who upholds the ideas of Social Darwinism - makes her role very interesting and ambiguous. I think that (especially based on some hints) that she used to be a sex slave, too, and if she was also made to be a Crow by her former slave master, that would probably mean Yvar used to be her master. That could lead to some interesting tension and conflicts, as she probably hates this guy deep inside, but still has to vie for his approval, even now that she has “made it”.  And she sees to see something in Kiano that makes her think they are similar, that he is 'strong' like she thinks she is (on the other hand, she despised her other slave who had a huge Stockholm Syndrome for her).

I'm curious how they deal with Kiano's character development next season, and how far into moral greyness or darkness it will be willing to go with him. Varvara is a blueprint of what he could become.  He didn't exactly show much concern for the lives of other slaves, except his father.  

Liv's storyline was also pretty interesting. with her navigating the political issues of the Crimsons. I liked that the Crimsons as a whole turned out to be more morally grey than I initially expected - with their strict military discipline to the point of authorianism and lack of tolerance for dissent. 

I don't know if the show expected me to side with the general (aka "Father") or think his views were right, as Liv did? I did not.. "Let's make peace and unity with slavers"? No, dude. But I’ll go with the idea that we are not necessarily supposed to side with him rather than David just because Liv did; or that a third option may be found (such as causing a rebellion among the Crows themselves, which would be my preferred direction of that storyline). 

(I also rolled my eyes whenever he started going on about "old European dream" or whatever he called it. No, my dude, you need to brush up on your history. Your plan is nothing like the EU, unless your plan is to go and deliver a bunch of demands to the Crows:  "Unless you guys: abolish slavery; ensure human rights for everyone; install a viable non-slavery based economy etc.. - we're not letting you into our new unified Europe!" He also may needed to be reminded EU was formed after Axis powers were defeated.)

I've heard that a lot of people didn't like Elja's storyline because they found it the least interesting, and sure, it wasn't very emotional and didn't have much character development, but I'm very curious about the mystery of the Black December, the Atlantians etc. so I liked it.  And I liked the fact that Elja wasn't a naive kid and could deceive people and keep secrets when he needed to.

But there are certain problems I have with the show’s world-building... which, at its worse, may end up being just as problematic as The 100′s was.

While I like the idea of a post-apocalyptic show set in continental Europe, and with languages other than English - almost all of the characters are only speaking German or English (the latter, I guess, for the same reason it's widespread today - people speak it as a second language and use it to communicate). We should really see more people who speak other languages. So far, that’s only happened sporadically - but my problem is more with the fact that the most villainous tribe, Crows (murderous, slave-owning Eurotrash-like villains with very Social Darwinist views) -  even though they speak German or English 99% of the time - very notably use certain words from Slavic languages - and only for specific terms like "lubovnik" ('lover' - actually sex slave), "boi" (fight/battle), "svobodnik" (free man?). These were very recognizable. I have no idea what "Bozie" means, but I read somewhere it comes from Russian. What's supposed to be the backtory behind that? Sure, I am for more language diversity, but did a German show have to give the kind of barbaric-version-of-fascist villains these questionable Slavic references?  That would be uncomfortable in so many ways.... It's not just Slavs, because another notable Crow character, Grieta at some point used Romanian (and the actress is Romanian), but I hope they're not going with the Evil Barbaric Eastern Europeans here. To be fair, many Crows were clearly slaves at the beginning, which complicates things... but Varvara says her real name - slave name - was Sophia, which could be anything - while her Crow names is Varvara - which definitely sounds Russian or Bulgarian (or, I guess, it could be Greek).

On the other side, opposed to the Crows, we have the more “civilized” tribe/army of former Eurocorps, whose members have so far only been heard speaking English, German and, at one point, Dutch - curiously called Red Crimson Army (!), I have so many questions...

Another questionable thing, pointed by the host of the Culture Cave YouTube podcast, who did an overall favorable review of the show, howeverpointed out that the Crows - the villains - are the only ones who don't conform to gender roles? And the males who are the most 'effeminate' looking are baddies. I didn’t even think of that initially, but thinking about it... yes, it has been like that so far, hasn’t it?

I’m reserving judgment till next season, but I only used to give The 100 the benefit of doubt with its questionable world-building, and we know how that turned out.

#tribes of europa

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hey! How are you? What about something like: Captain Hook, Hades, Gaston, Dr. Facilier, and Cruella DeVile becoming jealous over their S/O spending more time with their sidekick than them? Thank you. Stay safe (it's a little crazy out there)

~ Sidekicks and henchmen! ~

~ Go where you dare not go, ~

~ Know things you’re scared to know, ~

~ Protect, and serve, and even glow! ~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqlOGm1D_ZI

(The song ^^^^)

I’m good thank you! It is a little crazy, and I hope you're okay since writing this! Have a nice day ^^ 

 ~~~

Captain Hook: Mr Smee

·         One day, Captain Hook is thinking that something is off. But he cant put his finger on it.

·         Then, one of his pirates mention that Smee and Y/N have been hanging out a lot lately, and Hook looks around for you and he sees. You are with Smee, right now. Fishing. Smiling. Having a good time.

·         Which obviously deeply offends our Captain. Cuz, I mean of course. Duh (I’m trying to sound sarcastic, please tell me it came through XD )

·         For the rest of your hang out with Smee, Hook hangs around being quiet and boiling silently. The first time you leave to leave, probably to get something to eat or to toilet, Hook rounds in on his cheerfully humming second in command.

·         “Mr Smee… “

·         “Yes, Cap’n?? Lovely day to fish, isn’t it? I told Y/N, I told her, today was gonna be stormy! I could smell it, but she thought it’d be beautiful, so for now on I’m gonna trust her, I am- Eurgh!”

·         Sorry, Smee can’t talk anymore. Hook has choked him.

·         Before you get back, Smee has been ‘dealt with’, and only Hook is waiting for you.

·         (No I don’t mean Hook has killed Smee, he could never!! I just mean Hook has had a violent talk with him about not spending so much time with the Captains partner).

·         Hook hasn’t got the worst anger issues among the villains of Disney, but oh boy. Does Smee’s mindless optimism and kindess get on his nerves.

Cruella DeVille: Jasper and Horace 

·         (I don’t know much about Jasper and Horace except they’re a bit idiotic, so bear with me ^^)

·         She handles this about the same as Hook ^^ Doesn’t blow a fuse in front of you, but when you realises you’ve been spending way more time with Jasper and Horace rather than her (Probably because she’s busy. I mean, she’s a businesswoman), she takes some time off work to skulk around you are her men, setting the hair on the back of Jasper and Horace’s necks stand on end. They know something’s up, when she smiles at them.

·         When you step out for whatever reason, Cruella bids you off with a ‘Love you darling!~’, then turns immediately to Jasper and Horace with a stormy face and snap. ‘What the hell do you idiots think you’re doing??!’

·         ‘W-we were only hangin’ out with her, ma’am! Nothing b-bad! Honest!!’

·         ‘Yes, yes, I’m sure- GET OUT, YOU BLITHERING FOOLS!’

·         “Y-YES MISS DEVILLE, MA’AM!”

·         She gets over it quickly, and the next time she sees them she’s all but forgotten it(Making them feel confused, as they were ready to grovel for forgiveness) but when it happened, she was livid with jealousy.

Dr Facilier: Lawrence / His Shadow (We’ll go with Lawrence ^^) 

·         When Lawrence entered the picture, you quickly got along with him because he treated you like a lady, and you both liked some of the same things. Not that Dr Facilier didn’t, but it was just nice to make a new friend!

·         Dr Facilier didn’t act on his annoyance immediately, he just kind of… waited. And stewed in his anger. Which made it get worse and worse, as he watched this and wanted nothing but to just squash that squat old fool. He must have thought he would get used to it, because he knows he shouldn’t feel jealous like this because he trusts you, but… he didn’t get used to it.

·         Eventually Lawrence started to feel his poisonous, purple stares, and you noticed him not being very happy when Lawrence was around.

·         He assures you, when you ask, that he trusts you and he’s not jealous. Its fine! He loves that you have made a friend! ^^

·         On the other hand, he acts his charismatic self and makes a deal with Lawrence that does not, ultimately, end out in the old man’s favour. Something petty, because he still needs Lawrence, but still damaging. Like the hair monster trick in the start of the movie.

Gaston: LeFou 

·         Gaston is blinded by his own magnificence most of the time, so he doesn’t notice when you start spending more time with Lefou, who is adorable and so much calmer when he’s alone with you and not Gaston.

·         See, you had noticed how pent up and stressed Lefou is all the time, and the bags under his eyes because he’s isn’t getting enough because of your boyfriend, so you had taken it upon yourself to  help out a bit. Calm him down, get him a life separate from Gaston.

·         When Gaston realised, was during a hunting trip of his. He suddenly realised… there was no bumbling, big nosed worshiper following him around listening to him talk about himself. He was just talking to himself.

·         Where is everybody??! Does he smell?!

·         He stomps back to the town, and finds you and Lefou at your cabin, sitting at your table drinking tea and just have a… nice, relaxing time!

·         When Gaston questions you both, he’s relieved to know that he doesn’t stink, and you two are just having tea for a change, but… something about the sight of you and Lefou, sitting at your two chair table… where he is supposed to be sitting with you and not Lefou… did not sit right.

·         Cue ‘Scheming Gaston’. Now, his plan this time isn’t so devious as ‘Force girl to marry me or sell her father to the nut house’, but its pretty unfortunate for poor Lefou.

·         Basically Gaston waits for Lefou outside your cabin, stops him in his tracks (Or, you know, picks the poor boy up by the back of his collar) and tells him, despite Lefou saying that you and he are just friends, that ‘Y/N is mine. She doesn’t want you, she wants me. So, go somewhere else, I’ll tell her you got sick.’ Or something equally nasty.

·         Then Gaston goes on into your cabin and wants cuddles/sex/any activity to spend time with you for the rest of the night.

Hades: Pain and Panic, Meg

·         Oh my god, he picks it up the quickest out of everyone (Every. Disney. Villain.) and gets madder than anyone else (Any. Disney. Villain).

·         Doesn’t try to hide it from you, either. You know he’s a hot head, unkind to his sidekicks and very easily jealous, its not a secret! But that doesn’t mean you stop being kind and getting along with his sidekicks. Definitely not. In fact, it spurs you on to spend more time with them so they know they’re appreciated… which in turn annoys Hades to no end and causes him to more frequently get mad at them.

·         I mean, he knows you’re just super nice and he loves you for it, and he tries to hold himself together, but as soon as Pain or Panic try to intervene in time you are spending with him, Hades, things get bad. And he loses it.

·         He doesn’t get so bad with Meg, because he can just kinda threaten her with more years of servitude and she’ll back off (Which he has done, multiple times despite you getting upset about it). Pain and Panic on the other hand are two parts of a whole braincell and continue to make the same mistakes, over and over again.

·         Which fits, you know, because Hades will never stop getting mad over the same things over, and over again.

·         “Meg, Pain, Panic, my people… I think a certain, important detail is escaping your tiny brains… Y/N IS MINE!!”

[thiswasinevitableid]

#3 indruck for the supers prompt please? Feel free to play around with it!

Here we go! It got a bit angstier in the middle than I initially planned, but don’t worry, it all turns out okay.

3 Okay so when they wink at me after a great comeback, is that just their charismatic arrogance or do they maybe like me back?

“Guess I really am a ‘bright beacon of hope’ cause you keep comin to me like a moth to a flame.”

The Bear winks at him and Indrid, who saw the trap coming and stepped into it anyway because he really wants those blueprints, finds himself surrounded by the rest of the Pine Guard.

Or

“Oughta call yourself Luna Moth, cause you’re driving me crazy.” This the Bear growls after Indrid gets off multiple successful strikes of his sonic disorienter wrong-footing the enemy. 

“There is no correlation between the lunar cycle and insanity.”

“It was a joke Agent, oh fuck where’d he go?” Was the last thing Indrid heard as he took flight off the roof.

Or

“Was gonna ask you back to my place, but it looks like you’re all tied up.” This was whispered in his ear as he struggled in the grasp of The Bear’s strange, whip-like sword. It took a headbutt to get free of that one, the split lip aggravatingly increasing the appeal of The Bear’s face.

That incident was a mere hour and half ago. Were Indrid thinking clearly, he’d be pondering why he Bear had put them so close together when he knew full well Indrid had escaped that exact same scenario several times before.

Instead, he’s just cum across his bedspread imagining exactly what the bear could do to him in his hideout, Indrid tied up all the while (though not by that unpleasant sword). Imagining a strong, warm hand around his cock and his throat (he hasn’t been able to keep warm since the accident), coaxing him to surrender to pleasure. 

This is not an unusual post-battle activity for him lately. The Bear has grown more flirtatious in his banter. It doesn’t help that the hero is exactly the kind of man Indrid pursued and bedded in happier times. 

What’s stranger is that The Bear isn’t terribly arrogant otherwise, so the winking truly feels less like gloating and more like a come-on.

Indrid hasn’t been too bothered by his desires these past months.

Until now. Because this time, as he lays panting into the black flannel pillows, his mind continues spinning. But instead of his grocery list or new invention ideas, it wanders straight back into muscular arms. He wonders if The Bear is a cuddler. That would be nice, as he looks so very soft in places. And his drawl is probably comforting, hushed and close under the covers. Indrid, who hasn’t had a good nights sleep in two years, pictures himself drifting off peacefully in a tender embrace.

“What in the hell?” He mutters, shaking his head as he sits up. The lights in the bathroom highlight the sickly red glow of his eyes, the black of his claws, the strange white of his pointed teeth in an otherwise human face as he address himself in the mirror

“Get a hold of yourself, Cold. You are slipping.” 

He washes his hands, splashes cold water on his face, looks at his reflection, “There is no explanation beyond him toying with you. You are a monster.” 

He flexes his ragged, black wings for emphasis.

“You are enemies. No matter how charming he is. No matter how many times he’s-”

Saved your life?

Spared you capture?

“He’s a hero, that is what hero do.”

Offered you help?

Spoken to you more than fought with you?

This is pathetic. He’s allowed the Bear too much power over him. Had he meant to give it, he would feel differently. But now he’s in a freefall, eyes shut in hopes someone else will keep him from hitting the ground . 

He has to regain an edge. 

The futures roll through his head, unbidden. But he’s learned how to control them, he knows how to find what he needs in them. Concentrating, he sorts through them instant by instant and soon he has exactly what he’s looking for.

He looks into the mirror, and his reflection grins, horror movie wide, back at him. 

------------------------------------

 It’s only The Bear who comes for him the next time. He makes sure of it by choosing a low level crime that will still bring the hero running. 

“Really, Emperor Moth, a forest fire? Do I even gotta say how I feel about those?”

“No. And I have decided that after years of trying to prevent disaster and being scorned, I am ready to bring them upon those who did not listen to me.”

“Damn, that’s dramatic even for you.”

Indrid huffs, drawing himself up to stare at the hero, “Begone, ursine irritation, or I will end you and put your stuffed body in my mansion.”

“You don’t have a mansion. Besides,” that cocky grin is back, “other ways of stuffin a bear that I like a lot better.”

He can’t stop the blush, even as he sees his chance for the upper hand.

“There’s also more than one way to catch a Duck.”

The hero freezes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He says in the voice of someone who knows exactly what it means.

“I mean, Duck Newton, ranger in this very national forest, that you do not have the upper hand you think you do.” 

“Shit, your powers-”

“Yes.” Indrid snarls lunging forward and knocking Duck backwards. The other man drops easily, doesn’t move a muscle when Indrid traps both hands beneath clawed fingers, “There are so many things I know because of them. But there’s one I do not. And I intend to learn it.” 

His grin spurs Duck to move, thrashing ineffectively. Indrid uses Duck’s momentum to his favor, lets the hero flip himself onto his stomach, offering Indrid the chance to use the one hold Duck has trouble escaping even with all his strength. 

“Ah ah, none of that. It’s high time you and I had a discussion.”

“Fine,” Duck spits into the ground, “do your worst. Just, just promise me you’ll leave the others out of it.”

“Excuse me?” Indrid sees the futures resetting and his self-loathing doubles.

“The other heroes, Lady Flame and The Crooked Man and all them. And, well, anyone who ain’t a hero who I care about. Promise me you won’t go after them.”

“Is that truly what you think of me?” Indrid whispers, releasing his hold. 

Duck flips back over with enough force to throw Indrid several feet away, “You just lured me into the woods to brag about knowin my name, what the fuck else should I think?”

“You’re right, that is a logical conclusion.” Indrid says weakly, sitting up, “And you answered my question. I knew you couldn’t possibly feel anything fond towards me.”

Crickets chirp and fireflies flicker in the space between them as neither speaks for a two second eternity. Indrid looks down, ashamed.

“Hold up, you were tryin to figure out my...feelings for you? What, uh, what makes you think I even got any?”

“Oh please, you’ve grown increasingly flirtatious during our fights. You’ve shown me mercy when many others wouldn’t have. And please don’t attempt to lie. We both know how that goes.”

“Yeah.” Duck scratches the back of his neck, sheepishly, “See, I knew folks had tried to talk you into comin over to our side before. But no one had tried, uh, romacin you over.”

Indrid’s fingers curl in the grass beneath him, “Were you trying to seduce me over to your side?”

“I mean, that was part of my original plan. But you gotta understand there was more to it than that. I knew that before you started bein a villain, you were an artist and sometimes citizen scientist. And then-”

“Yes, yes” Indrid rubs his temples, “I experienced an accident that lead to the development of my future seeing capabilities and changed my appearance. Every book, blog, and news story that’s included me in it repeats that, there’s no need to rehash it here.”

“You didn’t let me finish; I also know you were the fella that tipped off the EPA to the fact that GenTech was pollutin the water.”

Indrid blinks, “How?”

“I was workin the ranger station the day a fella named Indrid Cold asked Juno to come out an look at some frogs. Mutated ones, ones he’d been watchin and drawin since they were tadpoles. Heard him say he was gonna do somethin about it. Then suddenly the nice, cute, quiet fella with the silver hair ain’t shown up in two weeks, when normally he comes by every few days to draw in the park. And the CEO of GenTech is on T.V sayin how pleased he is that the EPA investigation went nowhere because the informant 'skipped town.’“

He shudders as the memories close in with each word of his confession, “They released a toxin. In my apartment. I’m certain they thought it would kill me. I woke up to my wings splitting through my skin, a cacophony of futures in my mind. I was so frightened, I kept screaming for help. They’d had their goons pose as emergency personnel, evacuating the building for a ‘gas leak.’ No one came to help me. I passed out in pain and confusion, only came to when they chucked me into the lake, weights tied to me. Thank heavens for my claws.”

He doesn't want to keep speaking, eyes stinging and throat as tight as it was the night he lay gasping on his floor.

Duck’s drawl is soft when he, mercifully, continues his story rather than pressing Indrid for more of his, “Then another two weeks go by, and I get a funny phone call at the station, warnin me that there’s gonna be a downpour that sends a mudslide into one of the most crowded campsites, killin twenty five. Thacker and me evacuated. No one died. Found out later lots of other folks got calls like that over the course of a few weeks, but most ignored ‘em, thought the fella was crazy. Six months later the calls stop and Emperor Moth kidnaps GenTechs CEO. And, well, you know our history from there.”

“You’ve known who I was this whole time?”

“Had a hunch. Started payin closer attention to you when we met, and recognized your features, even with the glasses and the changes from the toxin. Remembered you talkin with me at the station, the way you’d laugh, how excited you got when you saw it was me workin. Thought maybe I might be able to win you back.”

Indrid tucks his knees to his chest, rests his forehead against them

“You ain’t a monster Indrid. Hell, you ain’t even much of a villain.” Fabric scuffing along grass and dirt signals Duck coming closer, and Indrid wraps his wings around himself. 

“Whoah, hey now, I ain’t gonna hurt you. Far as I’m concerned, unless you haul off and punch me or somethin we got a truce.” Warm fingertips press the edges of his wings and he retracts them stiffly, nerves too taut with leftover adrenaline and buried memories for his body to relax. 

“Indrid?” 

He looks up simultaneously hating the concern on Duck’s face and dying to throw himself forward to beg for forgiveness, for comfort. For Duck to say his name again.

“No one’s called me that in two years.” 

“Always liked it. Was distinct, same as you.”

“Not nearly as creative as Duck.”

“It’s a nickname.”

“It’s a good one.”

Duck continues stroking the edge of his wing, “You wanna come back to my hideout?”

“You’d show me? Just like that?”

A shrug, “You tellin me you wanna jump right back in to bein the scary villain who wants to hunt me down.”

“No.” Indrid replies meekly, “I want, ah, hmmm, honeslty I want to bury myself in the earth like a cicada can come out in a few decades.”

“Den’s underground. How about you plan on layin low there for a bit, takin some time to sort things out and rest?”

“That’s a start, wait, did you seriously name your hideout-”

“The Bear Den? Yep.” Duck helps Indrid up, loops his right arm through Indrid’s left and guides him towards the south end of the forest. 

“By the by, I know that weren’t gasoline you tossed everywhere. Thanks for waterin the plants.”

“You’re welcome.”

They hit a frontage road and follow it, “I’m sorry if the flirtin messed with you at all. Didn’t mean for it to. But I meant every word. You look damn good in black.”

“Thank you.” Indrid chuckles, “You look striking in many shades of green.”

“You know it. Here we are.” 

“This is a cabin.”

Duck bends over and puts his hand on the cellar doors. There are three distinct clicks, and then the faux wood panels slide back.

“Oooh, very nice.”

“Pretty pleased with it. Took a few designs to get the camouflage right.” He takes the first step down, turns and offers Indrid his hand. When Indrid takes it, rough, gentle lips meet the back of his hand. 

When their eyes meet, he’s grinning like a lovesick teenager and Duck’s eyes put the fireflies to shame.

“Welcome home, Indrid.”

Indrid would like to say that he spent his first night pouring out his soul, atoning for all his wrongs, and taking stock of his life and needs.

But the truth is that it takes only a few minutes before he’s staggering into a warm, cozy bedroom and burrowing beneath covers of the large bed. Duck takes up a spot beside him, reading contentedly as Indrid settles in. Then Indrid curls up against him, and as a kind, comforting hand caresses his wings and hair he falls hard and gratefully into a peaceful sleep.

#Indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #prompt fill #superhero au

[helloandwelcometomariasblog]

Review #57-61

Old Review #57: 500 Days of Summer Written 31/08/18

Directed by Marc Webb Written by Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber

I was really, really surprised. I honestly thought they’d showed us the ending at the very beginning, so even when Summer was getting married, I had the confidence that things would turn out well in the very end. But no. She actually did get married to someone else and they didn’t end up together. I LOVED THAT. It was heartbreaking but I LOVED IT. It’s so unique! So unconventional! Even the very last scene was unconventional, how Autumn declined when he first asked. It was both funny and unexpected. This entire movie was full of unexpected twists and turns and I absolutely loved that.

Now, about how I could relate to the film. I think I could really relate to Summer. Not in terms of attractiveness and all that, but the difficulty she had in commitment and how private she was. And it’s weird but Summer’s right, you can just tell. You know when you fall in love.

All in all, a great movie. I loved the twist in the end. I also loved the message. It made me kind of sad though. The message is true, but it made me a little sad. That there really isn’t something like fate and in the end, even the most painful breakup, even the most compatible relationship, even the most unforgettable person, can be replaced by someone new. Christians tend to believe that God has prepared someone special for them. But that’s probably not true.

Old Review #58: The Dark Knight Review Written 20/07/17

Directed by Christopher Nolan Written by Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan, David S. Goyer, Bob Kane

Just finished The Dark Knight, then had a brief squeal fest over the fact that Netflix had the sequel as well. I’d really wanted to rewatch it. I loved it so much when I first saw it. I still can’t forget that well scene. I personally think it’s one of the best I’ve seen in any Hollywood film.

As for The Dark Knight, amazing, amazing, amazing. THE AMOUNT OF SUSPENSE. Honestly, if anyone wants to learn how to write suspense, they should study this film page by page, beat by beat. I’m just going to jot down the amazing bits in bullet points cause I can’t think straight to write full paragraphs right now. But one thing – the Joker wasn’t as terrifying as I thought he’d be. Harvey Dent’s face was much more terrifying.

The amount of choices. CHOICES. CHOICES!!!!

The choices were always equally DIFFICULT. The balance was astounding. Rachel or Harvey? The wife or the boy? The ship full of civilians or prisoners?

The amount of TWISTS. You honestly never knew what was going to happen. I loved that so much. I absolutely loved the scene where that one prisoners gets up and throws the detonator out the window. He was a better man than the police officer. Those kinds of scenes. Where you think someone will be a certain way, and then they totally surprise you.

The Joker was smart. I loved that. I love a smart villain. When you don’t know what the villain is going to do and how, that’s when it gets amazing.

I also love how Harvey turned into a villain too. I also love how they used the two-face concept. That was great. Terrifying, therefore great.

I LOVE HOW THEY KILLED RACHEL. Look, it was great. It was one of the best things the film did. How many times in a superhero film does the hero save the damsel in distress? ALL THE TIME. It was refreshing seeing that NOT happen for once. It was new and positively shocking to see the death of an important person ACTUALLY happen. It was the best motivator, the best trigger for the story to be pushed forward. There was so much force now. The story, the characters, their motivations, became rich and meaningful. Rachel had to die. It was good that she died. (I’m talking about this all from the point of view of a screenwriting freak. Of course I didn’t ACTUALLY want her to die.)

I just love how the film presents choices, and then actually ACTS ON THOSE CHOICES. There are so many films where someone’s in danger, or something terrible is about to happen, and then the film saves it in the last moment. It’s kind of like a cheat. They build up the tension immensely, and then destroy it by making everything all well in the end. ‘Oh, were you scared? Hehe. It’s okay now!’ They’re teasing us.

But this film actually follows through, and that’s what makes it so terrifyingly good. With other superhero movies, whenever a threat is introduced, of course I’m scared at first, and tense, but after a while I’m like, “The hero’s going to save the day anyway.” And it happens.

But with this film, no. If time runs out, the hero doesn’t get to save the day. No deus ex machina. He can’t get there on time? She dies. It’s that simple. They don’t cheat the audience by suddenly presenting a miracle. Things go to plan. How come the good people always get a second chance? Keep things real.

The coin. Leaving it up to chance, Harvey’s coin was the most suspenseful token I’d seen in a film. AND AGAIN, HE FOLLOWED THROUGH. I really love that. That’s honestly what makes the film truly suspenseful. It follows through. So when the next decision making moment comes up, you KNOW they might actually die. The stakes are high and the stakes are fucking REAL. They actually will die. Decisions HAVE to be made, actions need to be taken.

I love that.

Review #59: Fight Club Written 18/07/17

Directed by David Fincher Written by Jim Uhls Based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk 

I want to, no, need to, talk about Fight Club.

It’s a fucking crazy movie. I really don’t like this movie. I can’t stop watching it, but I really, really don’t like it. I guess as a viewer, I could be told the same thing: Just stop caring and let go, and watch the fucking movie for what it fucking is.

But I CAN’T. I’m typing furiously right now because I just really can’t. I can’t bear to see all this crazy insane yoloness. I want it to stop. I want them to stop fighting and I want them to stop doing crazy shit and get their FUCKING LIVES TOGETHER.

I want the main character (do I even know his name?) to honestly get a grip and stop making a mess out of his life. He knows it’s wrong. But he’s so affected by Tyler’s words and his useless charisma all the time that he thinks it’s cool to be so crazy.

I think the movie is kind of glorifying Tyler, putting him up on the same level as a god. There was even a crucifixion moment. And the main character is trying really hard to look good to Tyler (like all his other 꼬봉s) and honestly it’s all a matter of self-esteem. Main character, you don’t need to do all that insane shit to feel like you’re worth it. So Tyler is a charismatic dude. So what. He’s not worth all that effort for you to feel accepted and appreciated. I just can’t with this film.

Review AFTER the film ended:

My mind… is blown away. Has been blown away. Not literally. Thank goodness not literally. I’m really amazed. I wasn’t really surprised at the split personality twist, for some reason. I was just sitting there going meh a little. It was a nice save, though, is what I thought. It was the right move to make in order for us to start understanding and liking the main character. A good move. A redemptive move.

The last 15 minutes? or so? were pretty amazing. Full of tension, and I had no idea what would happen. I loved it when the gun shifted from Tyler’s hand to… uh… Tyler’s. The movie turned out to be so much more different to what I thought it would be. At first I thought it was about fighting, and letting it go, and then it got way too much and I started feeling really uncomfortable, and then it turned out to have some fantasy aspects and got really good.

I’m kind of shaken right now, and I have to go home. But uh, let me talk briefly about what I think the message was.

Don’t FAKE IT. You are who you are. Even if you’re going through hard times. That’s who you are. Don’t hide yourself, don’t fake yourself. Don’t create a fake personality to slip into whenever you feel vulnerable. Let yourself be vulnerable. 강한 척… 하지 말자. I’m really shaken by the film right now. I can’t believe that gun shot didn’t blow his head off. Wtf.

Review #60: Catch Me If You Can Written: 13/07/17

Directed by Steven Spielberg Written by Jeff Nathanson Based on the book by Frank Abagnale Jr., Stan Redding

It’s a really good film. It made me think a lot, and I was never bored. I was always kept in suspense, and I was emotionally moved. I think that’s pretty much enough for it to be a great film. All around amazing in terms of action line and relationship line and character depth and development.

Frank was such a great character. He just felt so multi-dimensional and real. That’s the amazing thing about great characters. You never get the thought that they’ve been made up. You never get the thought that some writer sat at their desk for hours on end developing this “character”. I guess DiCaprio’s acting made it more realistic, but in general, Frank’s character was just really raw. I really loved him. He was interesting, dynamic, and had an intention behind everything. He was really active, he led the story. He was always making decisions. Argh. Amazing. He was always pushing the story on by making decision after decision. Even though he was the one being chased, he was the one making all the decisions and leading the story. Isn’t that amazing? You’d think that the person being chased would be the passive one, reacting to the fact that they’re being chased. Running away and escaping all the time. But no, even his escaping seemed like a feat, a beat, an extravagant decision.

And underneath all that, was his broken soul. That was the most amazing part about his character. He was doing all that because he was broken inside. All he wanted, was for his dreamy, perfect life to be put back into place. And he thought money could solve that. He thought if he tried hard enough, he could get his parents back together. He thought he could give them money, and the three of them could live as a happy family again. He always, always had fantasies of happy families – you see it so clearly and deeply in his eyes when he’s staring at his parents dancing, or when he sees Brenda’s parents washing the dishes together. That was his dream, deep deep inside. And he tried to achieve that and failed. He became disappointed with himself and his life, and came face to face with the fact that he couldn’t save anything – never could turn back time and put things right again – and made the decision that the real life wasn’t worth living. And so he began running away, living a lie. Remember what Carl says in the end. It’s easier living the lie (I think?).

I was so glad Frank came back in the end though. I’m glad he made that decision. See? Until the end, Frank is very much a strong, active character. HE makes the decisions.

I learned a lot. I think this just became one of my favourite films. (2020 me: Really?)

Review #61: Beauty and The Beast (2017) Written 18/03/17

Directed by Bill Condon Written by Stephen Chbosky, Evan Spiliotopoulos

The main problem I had with this film was some of the dialogue. It felt forced, cheesy, too economical. I know that each line of dialogue needs a purpose and you should only write what is needed, but I felt that it was a bit too much here (for example, the scene where Belle talks to her dad for the first time).

However, other than that, I was more than happy about what I saw on screen last night. It was truly enchanting. That is the perfect word for it. It reflected the animated film enough to feel joyfully and uncontrollably nostalgic, but also challenged several aspects of the original to create a more logical, credible, interesting story. It was a perfect adaptation.

When we see Belle for the first time in that small provincial town, in her blue and white dress, we are completely floored and can only watch mesmerized as she walks through the town, the townspeople singing one of the most famous Disney introduction songs.

Said simply, I gained immense pleasure from two things:

Recognizing things from the original film. Seeing how they made it into live action.

The things they did differently. They added bits and pieces to the story to make it perfect.

I'd love to watch it again just to jot the differences down. Also, I was holding my breath during the ballroom dancing scene. Perfect. And when she picked up the plate to drink from it. That was perfect. She didn't teach him to use the fork and spoon. It was like she got down to his level and tried to understand him while also showing him a better way to do things.

It had just the right amount of difference to make people wonder what might happen next. And that's amazing for an adaptation.

#review

[charmingturkeysandwich]

I Could Use a Love Song - Ch 1: givin’ up on love, hey love’s given up on me

Summary: Emma Swan, small town orphan and up-and-coming country singer, is known for her voice, her penchant for leather, and her overall (earned) anger toward the world. She’s had a rough go of it – rough enough that every single song of hers is angry or sad – but on the road something (or someone) happens that might change her tune.

(Spoiler Alert: it’s Killian. Cue the gasps of shock.)

Also on AO3.

---

The upside to a truly shitty adolescence? Lyrical inspiration.

Emma Swan grew up a little bit all over the place, but primarily in a small town that was most definitely above the Mason-Dixon line and yet half its population spoke with some kind of southern-esque drawl. Confederate flags were common on Chevy trucks. Friday nights in the Fall were dedicated to high school football and absolutely nothing else. Their town’s only radio station was country, though it played seven different church services on Sunday mornings. To say that the whole town’s dynamic read like a cliché country song… it was more obvious than Emma’s bright red leather jacket in a crowd of cotton camo.

So no one was particularly surprised when the beautiful, damaged orphan with the voice of a (really pissed off) angel hit the road with a country band.

They might not have been surprised, but oh did they talk. After her falling out with the pastor’s son and her quick escape to Pittsburgh, she was every negative stereotype of famous in a small town you could conjure. Lily, the closest thing she’d had to a friend outside of Neal, son of Pastor Gold, would keep her updated on the rumors and the hearsay. Not that she wanted to know, necessarily. She’d rather imagine that her name had simply fallen out of the collective memory of that god forsaken town. But it hadn’t. Her story was on the tongues of every bar patron, Baptist, and boy scout leader north of I-80.

It wasn’t her story, though. Not really. The tales they told of Emma Swan always somehow ended up with her as the villain and not the fairy tale princess, the lost girl with no choice but to suffer at the hands of assholes.

Her parents had been shit. Drug addicts, apparently, and she’d been taken from them. She’d been passed through the foster system from ages 3-12, the best foster parents mostly ignoring her and the worst… well, she couldn’t afford the therapy to even attempt to go there.

She’d wound up with an OK but definitely half-crazy woman by the name of Sarah just before she turned 13 and that’s where she’d stayed, that hick town that just couldn’t get enough of her little sob story. That’s where she’d met Neal, the charismatic son of one of the town’s pastors. His dad had seemed nice enough, did a lot of community work and even owned several businesses, boasting of his commitment to boosting the local economy. For once she’d thought she’d found some people who didn’t suck who might make her life at least somewhat normal.

She, as usual, was wrong. Pastor Gold was… well, off. Way too angry for a dude preaching the New Testament each week. But at least he’d never hurt her. No, that privilege was reserved for Neal, who would beat her to a bloody pulp and then tell his daddy’s flock all about saving his sweet girl from a drug deal gone wrong (poor thing ended up like her parents despite the best efforts of the system, you see).

It was pathetic. And after she went to jail for having the gall to defend her own life from that sociopath, well, that was it. She dropped out of high school during the homecoming pep rally and hopped a bus to the city.

That had been years ago now, of course, but it was her origin story, as they say, and something very important to her on-stage personality. And her internal struggle.

Life had fucked her over and she was pissed. And so for five years after leaving that sleepy, secret-filled little town, all she ever really focused on was her anger. She’d write lyrics on truck stop napkins and sit in a half-stranger’s basement strumming chords on the guitar she’d stolen from the church rectory (she wasn’t sorry). She started out performing at open mic nights and then somehow found some of Her People, those who loved country music but maybe hadn’t grown up in a Dixie Chicks song (if only she could have Goodbye Earl’ed that son of a bitch high school boyfriend of hers before he ever laid a hand on someone new…).

(At least he ended up in prison. You know, eventually.)

(And, hey, her rage got her out there and selling records. But that was on her, not him. Nobody saves me but me, she always said. And she wasn’t about to thank a monster just because she survived slaying it.)

Tonight’s show was in a dive bar in upstate New York and Emma was so damn ready for it. She and Ruby had done a few shots of tequila before slipping on their tight jeans and leather jackets, and David had just finished setting up their brand new sound system that made them sound like they could actually be on CMT and not just playing from someone’s garage. David and Mary Margaret, they were like Johnny and June with their sweetness and Emma could hardly stomach it. But they were her friends, her actual honest-to-god, wouldn’t-rat-her-out-to-the-forest-service-for-underage-drinking friends and she loved them. She loved them and Ruby and even Graham in the only way she knew how: teasing insults, cases of beer, and not running away in the middle of the night even when she was feeling like her whole world could crash town with one wrong word from herself or anyone else.

(She really did need therapy beyond the catharsis of angry singing to half-drunk strangers. Someday, maybe.)

Friend love was a strange, but manageable thing. Well, mostly. But romantic love? Absolutely fucking not. After she left Neal and that town, after she drank away the pain and the frustration, well she thought maybe she’d give romance another try. Turned out the next guy was even worse, somehow, leaving her bruised and bloody when she turned down his marriage proposal at a fancy restaurant in Cleveland (yeah, those exist). The physical pain she had been used to, but the emotional… he called her every name she didn’t deserve and a few that she probably did, and when he finished her off with a few choice comments about the baby she’d lost after Neal threw her out a moving car, well she was done. For good. Never ever would she trust a man again. Preacher’s son or furniture salesman – they were all just… evil. She couldn’t ever again take that chance.

But tonight – tonight she wasn’t thinking about romance or even the past, not beyond the bits and pieces that had made their way into her songs. She was happy, buzzed, excited. Their little tour bus (well, van) family was rising in the ranks and soon she could move far away and get her own apartment overlooking the thriving streets of Nashville. Soon she would be so busy with interviews and music video shoots that she wouldn’t have a single second to spare a thought to those who had hurt her. Soon she would be so rich she wouldn’t ever feel lonely because she’d always have male company in the form of all her Benjamins she’d backstroke through like Scrooge McDuck.

The previous night Mary Margaret had tried to set Emma up with the singer of their opening act, a guy they called August who carried a typewriter instead of a guitar (who she’d definitely seen leaving with a drunk after she’d turned him down, by the way), so Emma had already had her monthly I Don’t Want Love chat with her hopeless romantic friend. Meaning today she was free and clear to just… enjoy this new life she’d spent years building on the bones of all the good girls she could have been.

She high-fived Ruby and David kissed her on the cheek as they took the stage, starting the guitar riff as Emma sauntered out to the opening words of the song. This was one of her crowd favorites, a good one to set the tone for what kind of show to expect, and she was melting into her confident, badass, devil-may-care persona easily by the time they hit the first chorus.

I’m goin’ home, gonna load my shotgun

Wait by the door and light a cigarette

He wants a fight, well now he’s got one

And he ain’t seen me crazy yet

A few people in the front row were singing along and her heart was bursting with pride that she was on this road, that she’d turned such a goddamn nightmare of a life into something positive and productive and while overall it still wasn’t healthy… she damn well was on the road to actually being someone. To finally shutting up the idiots back in Pennsyltucky who were convinced she wasn’t going to amount to anything but a statistic just like her parents (despite having never even tried any drug beyond alcohol and nicotine, the judgmental fucks).

One thing that entertained her beyond reason was listening to Mary Margaret sing backup vocals on the songs Emma wrote. Emma liked to call Mary’s on-stage persona Snow White Trash and Ruby insisted that be the name of the band’s first mainstream album when their big break finally came and Emma actually fucking laughed in the middle of performing her angry song that night because she couldn’t stop thinking about the mismatch.

So when the song was over she apologized to the crowd, told them how much she loved her band and her friends, even the hilariously innocent of them, and asked someone to pass her a beer so she could stop the chuckles from trickling out during the next song.

Next on their set list was one that had been co-written by Emma and Ruby, two girls from two very different small towns, who still had so much shared experience. It used to hurt her to sing it, the depressing nature of where she came from threatening to swallow her whole, until Graham came to her one night after the show, quieted her tearful sobs with a kiss and told her to just pretend it was a movie. She was just telling a story. It wasn’t her town or Ruby’s… it was nothing but fiction.

And that’s how she belted it all out totally devoid of those pesky feelings that made her wish she could just crawl under a rock rather than relive her trauma for the seventy third time this fucking year.

If you ain’t got two kids by 21, you’re probably gonna die alone

At least that’s what tradition told you

This song was a lesser known of theirs so they don’t have as many mouthing the words back, but the energy in the crowd is still so high, despite this song being a little more bummer than banger. So she scans the crowd, watches the faces of the drunk, the joyful, the brooding, and best of all, those who understand.

Off to the left, just at the edge of the stage, she saw probably the hottest man she’d ever seen in real life. Black leather jacket, artfully mussed hair, a smirk that could charm her pants right off if she let him.

It’s not that hot guys didn’t come to their shows. They definitely did. But they were usually more the Jake Owen or Luke Bryan type, the ones that look like they were ready to meet your mama by the third date. This guy, he didn’t seem the take-home-to-parents type (just the kind for her, having no parents and all).

But there was something else different about him. Standing just off stage, standing alone, glancing toward David every so often. He looked a bit too confident, comfortable, like he already had some kind of connection to her makeshift little family, and that set up some red flags.

She was not accepting applications for any new friends at the moment. Or maybe ever.

She’d been staring just a little and people tended to notice stuff like that so of course he eventually locked eyes with her, for just a fleeting moment, and there was something in that one glance that told her he knew what she was singing, how she felt, on a level that most others just… didn’t.

So naturally she broke the gaze and didn’t look back.

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Jack burned out on booze and pills.

Mary had a little lamb.

Mary just don’t give a damn no more.

From there, Mary Margaret had taken over lead vocals, her cover of Strawberry Wine a nice balm to the mood-dampener that Merry-Go-Round always was. And every show without fail, she always took that transition to gloat about how she’s most definitely not the Mary from that song because she has David and loves him so much and Emma almost always makes the universal gesture for “gag me” to the crowd eliciting laughter and a few errant woo’s.

She didn’t tonight.

First taste of love, oh

Bittersweet

And green on the vine

Like strawberry wine

(sorry Deana Carter, but there wasn’t always some sweet.)

They closed the show with Kerosene, like they always did: high-energy, twangy, and true-to-form for their actual fans. The whole bar was on their feet, jumping and swaying and shouting and spilling their $4 beers on the guy beside them but no one really cared because they were sharing a moment, Emma and each of them, singing out their anger and sadness and ten years of life’s-not-fair.

Crazy how a three minute song could effectively patch the wounds of a whole life.

And, yeah, maybe it wasn’t really patching anything. Maybe it was just distraction. Maybe she was just as much a drug addict as her parents, but her drug was the stage and the music and the connection she shared with every other person in each and every bar who didn’t get the benefit of a first love like any kind of wine.

She sang her song from the diaphragm – broadway voice – but it was like it came all the way from her toes. It was always her anger that defined her, drove her, made her feel alive.

Why not lean into it?

I gave it everything I had

And everything I got was bad

Life ain’t hard but it’s too long

To live it like some country song

Trade the truth in for a lie

Cheating really ain’t a crime

I’m giving up on love, cause love’s given up on me

Songs sung, merch sold, and bar tab closed, Emma headed toward the crew’s van, ready to sleep off the liquor in the third row seats while the lovebirds took the hotel room above the bar and Ruby and Graham found someone’s bed to put their boots under for the night.

It was odd, feeling like the fifth wheel when truly there was only one couple in the band. But Ruby and Graham, they were so in sync with where they were in their life – jand it was just not what Emma was looking for – that she still ended up left out.

Which was fine. Everything was just fine.

Until her path to the van was obstructed by the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen in her life, the smoldering-eyed, confident guy who’d nearly made her forget her own lyrics before she’d promptly remembered to forget him and any other person who might possibly hold the potential to make her heart skip.

(Hearts aren’t meant to skip. That’s not love; it’s a trip to the cardiologist.)

He was definitely about to annoy her, so shouldn’t he look properly… annoying? Not like a goddamn model. That was distracting her from her annoyance and inevitable hate. Because a girl like her? Every song lyric and leather jacket was a clear message: leave me the fuck alone.

He clearly wasn’t receiving the signal.

“Swan, I presume?” he finally spoke, her eyes certainly glaring daggers at him despite her tiredness and BAC.

“Uh, obviously? What do you want.” (It wasn’t a question.)

“To introduce myself, of course! Killian Jones, at your service.”

She stopped a few feet from him, one hand on her hip and the other reaching for the cigarettes in the back pocket of her jeans.

“I’m not interested in any services beyond handing me a lighter. Can you manage that one?”

He smirked at her and reached into his jacket, the click of the zippo lighter in his hand echoing off the brick alley the van was parked in. With a quick flick of his thumb there was a flame and he offered it to her, his eyes burning with something other than the reflection of the fire.

“Ah, yes, that’s something even a one-handed bloke like me can manage.” He clicked the lighter closed and deposited it back in his jacket, only to reveal his left arm – ending at the wrist – from where it had been tucked behind him.

Emma deflated a little, some compassion left inside her despite the unwanted nature of his approaching her. “OK, Captain Hook, what exactly do you want from me?”

(She had compassion, but also very little candor. For the record.)

“Ah, yes, I’ve never heard that one before,” he muttered, rolling his eyes and finally looking like he was receiving her please-go-away signals, but he still soldiered on. “I was meant to be here before the show started, but I had some trouble finding this hole-in-the-wall. I presume by your attitude that Dave didn’t warn you I was coming?”

“You presume correctly. Can you please get on with whatever garbage is happening here? I swear if they put you up to asking me out or something I’m going to kill them. Mary Margaret especially. Because we just talked about this and I know that it’s not your fault that they’re such meddlers but I swear I’m pretty much the same girl who sings on stage in real life and I absolutely want nothing to do with men. Or women, for that matter… I’m not a person who dates and if they thought..”

“Love, please stop. No, I’m not here to ask you out. Believe me, I know I’m not what you need. I mean, technically I am, but not in the romantic sense.”

He paused and waggled his eyebrows and Emma was too tired to roll her eyes so she just closed them, willing the moment to pass. “I’ve been hired to work for you. All of you. Roadie. Can’t play notes on a guitar anymore, but I can haul them in and out of these dumps you lot perform in.”

Ah. He was the guy David had suggested they hire but the group had then rejected the idea and apparently David decided to overrule them all because why would Prince Charming listen to a democratic band vote, anyway? (Ugh.)

“Can you maybe stop insulting the patrons that pay us since that same money is going to be what pays you?”

Drunk laugher and electronic music pulsed out of the back door of the bar they’d played in not long before. Almost closing time now. Emma needed to get out of the open before she had to break someone’s wrist for drunkenly groping her. Again.

“Ah, of course, love,” he replied, finally seeming to be at least somewhat chagrined. “Now if you could point me in the direction of our sleeping quarters, I’ll leave you to your business.”

“First of all, I am not your love. We’ve covered this already and I need you to keep up. Second, do you really think we make enough to have quarters? I’m not entirely sure how we’re going to both pay you and eat. So.”

“So, what exactly does that mean for you or I, Swan?” he emphasized her last name in an effort to prove he was capable of using titles other than ridiculous British terms of endearment.

“Well, Jones, that means that either you go shack up with David and the missus (10/10 would not recommend; Mary gets very horny while drunk and her voice carries), or you do like Graham or Ruby and find a local to make gross sex noises with. Or whatever they do. Don’t know, don’t ask, don’t care.”

“And you, princess?” His tone was a challenge. He wanted her to object to the sickly sweet nickname. And she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

“I sleep in the van. And I do not cuddle.”

“Oh, it’s not cuddling I’m looking for,” he purred, waggling his stupid eyebrows again. (This time she did roll her eyes, annoyed enough to expend the limited energy she still possessed.)

“Then go find someone willing, buddy. Like I said.”

He shook his head and laughed, already turning back toward the van. “Damn. David said you were difficult, but I wasn’t expecting this. I’ll sleep wherever you don’t. Unless you snore?”

“No, I do not snore!”

“Great. Then we’ll get along just dandy.” He waited next to the van until Emma pulled out the fob to unlock it, sliding open the big door a second after the beep-beep to signal entry. “After you, not anyone’s love.”

“Thanks, Captain. I’ll be in the back. Touch me at your peril.”

They each crawled into the van and settled at opposite ends. Emma tossed Killian a blanket and Killian tossed Emma a pillow that had been lodged in the front seat and they both drifted off to the sounds of Garth Brooks on the Pandora radio Ruby had bought her to ward away the nightmares that inevitably accompanied the silence.

#cs ff #cs au #cs fanfic #cs fanfiction #keisha writes #first chapter #I've done emo AU #now it's time for the other music of pain #that's country music #at least that's what xander says #this has been a buffy reference in the tags of an ouat story #have a nice day

[wazafam]

Like The Walking Dead, the show for which it serves as a spin-off, Fear the Walking Dead has never shied away from killing off its main or fan-favorite characters.

Through the five full seasons to date and into the sixth, there have been many unexpected killings of both villains and heroes alike. Interestingly, only a small percentage of them are at the direct hands (er, mouths) of walkers, demonstrating how the biggest threat in an apocalyptic world is not necessarily the dead, but more so the living.

RELATED: Fear The Walking Dead: 10 Things That Make No Sense About Morgan 

Starting from the second season, major characters have become victims of the new world in various heartbreaking and, in some cases, relieving, ways.

10 Madison Clark – Season 4 (No One's Gone)

Fans were so outraged at Madison's death that, to this day, three years later, theories about a potential return continue. That seems unlikely, however. Even though fans didn't actually see Madison get eaten alive by walkers, she was last seen lighting a flare and walking towards hundreds of walkers who were ready to devour some flesh.

Madison's death was the most heroic of the series as she sacrificed herself in order to save her children, proving why she was such a good leader.

9 Nick Clark – Season 4 (Good Out Here)

Another heartbreaking death that angered viewers, Nick likely would have remained alive for seasons to come had it not been for actor Frank Dillane's desire to leave the show. A fan favorite right from the opening scene of the very first season, he was a relatable young man dealing with drug addiction.

His addiction and depression actually helped Nick, in an odd way, get through the apocalyptic world because he had already considered himself to be a sort of "walking dead" already. His death shook the group since it was at the hands of Charlie, the very same young girl he tried so hard to help. She shot him in the chest in retaliation for him killing Ennis.

8 John Dorie – Season 6 (Things Left to Do)

The most recent and controversial death on the series was that of John Dorie, another fan-favorite character who helped bring morality, kindness, and a killer trick shot to the group.

RELATED: Walking Dead: Every Confirmed Settlement In All Shows 

After nearly giving up after running away from Virginia and his wife June, John ran into Morgan who desperately tried to talk him out of giving up on life. It was all for naught, however, as shortly after John discovered it was Dakota who killed Cameron, Dakota shot him in the chest. Fans were teased that John might actually survive, finding a floatation device and desperately trying to reach dry land while bleeding. But when he finally washed up on shore, June was met with an already reanimated John in one of the most tragic scenes of the series to date.

7 Ofelia Salazar – Season 3 (El Matadero)

Interestingly, one of the few main characters to actually die from a walker bite is Ofelia. While riding with Crazy Dog, she fell and the group realized she had been bitten. What was most heartbreaking about her death was that her father Daniel was desperate to get to and see her, only for her to pass away just before he arrived.

Her death sparked tension between Daniel and Madison but showed how much character Madison had and the strength Daniel possessed.

6 Travis Manawa – Season 3 (The New Frontier)

Travis' death was the first major character death that proved that Fear the Walking Dead, much like The Walking Dead, was not afraid to go for the jugular (literally) and kill off characters in surprising ways.

Like many others on the list, Travis' death had nothing to do with walkers. Rather, he was shot in the stomach and neck by Lee "Crazy Dog" and subsequently fell out of a helicopter. It's all good and well, as the character was on a path similar to that of Rick Grimes when he lost himself and started making bold and extremely violent moves. Travis was deeply affected by the loss of his son. His shocking death was the last of the Manawas, following the death of his ex-wife Liza and son Chris.

5 Chris Manawa – Season 2 (Wrath)

It's sad to say that fans weren't as upset over the death of Chris as they were over other characters. Under any other circumstances, Chris was just a garden variety brooding young teenage boy. But in the apocalypse, his constant whining, poor choices, and rebellious nature was literally a matter of life and death. Thus, fans were more annoyed than endeared by Chris, though there's no denying that his death was heartbreaking, nonetheless.

RELATED: Walking Dead: Every Character Who Left The Show (& Later Returned) 

Chris' death seemed karmic. After he literally pinned his father to the ground to allow his friend James to be killed because he was ill and thus holding the group back, Chris found himself in a similar situation. He sustained a leg injury after a car accident and begged for his life before Brandon and Derek shot him dead in the middle of the road for the very same reason.

4 Troy Otto – Season 3 (Things Bad Begun)

The Otto family members were the main antagonists in the latter half of season 3, and Troy Otto was the most sinister, the exiled brother with a dark side. A man with a charismatic personality that hid his lack of remorse and troubled mind well, he was the last surviving Otto family member from the Broke Jaw Ranch.

He sparked up a close friendship with Nick and an odd obsession with Madison, which she used to her advantage to get close to him so she could bludgeon him to death with a hammer.

3 Jake Otto – Season 3 (Brother's Keeper)

Jake was seemingly the "good" Otto brother who spent all his years trying to help his clearly troubled brother. His death came at the hands of a fight with Troy in this episode, which is among the highest-rated of the show. Their tussle led to Jake rolling down a hill and being bitten by a walker.

Nick tried to save his life by cutting off his arm quickly thereafter, but he didn't make it. Jake was one of only three main characters to be killed by a walker bite.

2 Jeremiah Otto Sr. – Season 3 (Children of Wrath)

Nick became enraged when he found the skull of Walker's dead father underneath the floorboards in Jeremiah's home. It forced Jeremiah to admit that he killed the man all those years before and proved that Walker was right all along.

After Madison tried to convince Jeremiah to kill himself so they could offer his scalp as a peace exchange with Walker and end the battle once and for all, he refused. It didn't matter, though, as Nick walked in and did the deed himself, finally putting the leader of the Otto Family Survivalist Organization and Broke Jaw Ranch community to rest.

1 Liza Ortiz – Season 2 (Monster)

The first main character death on the show, and the first to die (aside from Daniel's wife Griselda) at the hands (or rather mouth) of a walker (sort of), Liza died a hero. After trying to help near the beginning of the apocalypse by using her access as a nurse to get medical supplies, she gave the group what they needed and was seemingly about to leave.

Unsure of why she didn't want to come with them, Liza revealed to Madison that she was bitten and begged Madison to shoot her before she turned. Travis, however, jumped in and did the deed. Liza's death served as a catalyst for Chris' downfall.

NEXT: Fear The Walking Dead: 10 Fan Theories That Could Be True 

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[weapon13whitefang]

Negan’s New Carl

It’s well known in the TWD Comics that Carl and Negan have a very intense respect-but-hate relationship going on.

I’ve gone back and reread a bunch of old interviews because 1) I’m bored and 2) I was trying to recall something Scott once said and wanted to make sure I wasn’t going crazy and 3) I’m in the mood to dig into TWD and this crazy nonsense show and drive myself crazy!

In an interview with Gimple - Found here - He talked about the Carl and Negan relationship and how he might split some of the story among characters (this interview was before S7 and we know this has been done with Daryl, Eugene, Carl, Rosita [she shot Lucille instead of Carl, so that part was split] and even a bit with Sasha [she took comic Holly’s place afterall]

So he’s done that... But there’s something he said in that interview that still kind of bugs me...

"Whether it's with Carl or not, I cannot say," Gimple says. "I absolutely want to explore Negan having that strange respect for someone which I think was the hallmark of that relationship and we'll tell versions of that story."

Who is Negan’s new Carl?

Gimple touched on wanting to play on the Negan respect for another trait. It’s one of the things that makes Negan interesting; his beliefs and interests.

In the comic, Negan had interest and respect for Carl because of being as tough and hardened as he is at such a young age, even going far enough to a) tell Carl he’d want a son just like Carl and b) being upset that Carl still wants to kill him two years after the war and telling that he thought he and Carl were friends. 

Carl and Negan are one of the many interesting relationships of the comic next Rick and Dwight (for me in terms of chemistry between characters, which is a big thing for me in the comic). And while Rick and Dwight’s relationship with Negan is there in the TV show, it’s nothing like the comic feel and his relationship with Carl are brief and hardly comic level.

So... Who is Negan’s new Carl is what I’m trying to grasp.

It’s not Dwight. While Dwight has that rough relationship with Negan, it’s not the same as the comic. He fears Negan but also hates his guts because of the Sherry thing and mostly works for Negan to keep his ass alive and keep Sherry safe (Sherry becoming a wife to Negan as vice versa for Dwight and because of her own trouble of believing she can survive without the extra benefit of being one of Negan’s wives).

But Negan isn’t really fascinated or interested in Dwight. Not in a way that makes for an interesting chemistry. It’s a gleamed over thing between them that we all are aware of but it isn’t played on.

It’s not Daryl like I thought it was gonna be. Negan is interested in Daryl, but more like he wants to see how far he can push and go at Daryl. The “you don’t scare easy... I like that” line is an example that Negan is interested in Daryl’s lack of fear towards his own death and incarceration and how he won't let himself “be Negan”. And he does say “I gotta get me my Daryl back”, but that’s more of the interest of keeping a prisoner/strong hand of Rick’s and raising himself above him. Daryl was taken because of his show of strength and his crazy attack at Negan. But otherwise, Negan and Daryl haven’t really had a “you really fascinate me” moment.

In fact, for Dwight and Daryl, they have a more interesting relationship of fascination with each other than Negan does to either of them. Daryl has respect and hate for Dwight. He gets Dwight now. He gets why he’s doing what he does. But Dwight still helped get Glenn and Abraham killed and shot Denise and stole his shit and fucked him up. He did a lot of shit to Daryl that can not be forgiven, even if he gets it. So Daryl gets Dwight and even respects why he’s doing it, but he still hates the guy and would kill him if Dwight even tried to blink wrong at them.

It’s not Eugene. Eugene is an asset. That’s it. He can make bullets and he knows a lot of shit. He’s useful to Negan. And without Eugene, Rick can’t produce more bullets for any guns he might get ahold of. Also, I have a feeling Negan doesn’t fully trust Eugene because of what happened with Sasha AND Negan has shown disgust at people who turn on their leaders and Eugene quickly let himself turn to Negan and basically be his bitch, which Negan doesn’t really respect for, as shown with Spencer.

Carl isn’t it either. The whole “Carl breaking into the Sanctuary” thing happened, “Kid you scare the shit out of me”, meeting the girls, singing the song and showing the eyeball hole happened. We had a spaghetti moment and we had a stare down of Carl and Negan at the end of S7. But otherwise, there’s been no dig into Carl and Negan’s arc like the comic did. So it’s not Carl.

It’s not Rick, although it could be. Rick fights back and keeps taking on Negan and even goes at him full throttle and Negan swaggers about it but he isn’t about to forget the damage Rick can do. The damage he knows he will do. We see that. But he also knows he has the numbers while Rick technically doesn’t right now. There’s no respect for each other besides the whole “I know what you’re capable of” respect and that’s not fully digging into the respect and fascination aspect.

So basically... We don’t have someone specifically that Negan is fascinated and respects. Yet. And that bugs the fuck outta me because that’s something I find important about Negan. His beliefs and what he sees as something worth watching over is what made Negan interesting to me in the comic. Right now Negan is just a bigger version of the Governor and I didn’t find the Governor that fascinating, just crazy. And that’s boring. Just being a crazy bad guy isn’t... It isn’t interesting. 

Negan is this charismatic and seemingly invincible character in the comic. He does so many crazy things and does all this stuff to get Carl and Rick to like and trust him over time. He cuts off the Whisperer leaders - Alpha - head for Rick and throws up his arms like “see I killed the leader and didn’t take over a new group to attack you so I’m cool and you can all like me now!” and that want to have these characters like him while doing this crazy shit and to like him AFTER he did such terrible things to them, is both crazy and interesting about Negan.

I’m basically saying that Negan is a boring villain right now. He’s a plot device to make TWD be able to have this war happen so that more characters can be killed off and create more emotional deaths of possible favs, bring in a bunch of characters from the past (like Morales) and have all these extra explosions and crazy battle scenes... That’s boring. 

That’s been done before. Negan isn’t even needed really. He basically stands in the background yelling about his dick and flailing on the ground like a scared idiot as he gets shot at by Rick and everyone... That’s not fascinating that really is booorrriinngg.

Negan needs a drive. Negan needs someone that he can focus on that makes the war something besides a pissing contest of death. His thing in the comic was that he wanted everything Rick had. He wanted to rule over Rick and make him be his, same with Carl and everyone. After his imprisonment and escaping, he wants Carl and Rick and the Safe Zone to trust and like him. His focus is Carl and Rick and making himself look like a good guy basically. Which is fascinating because we still don’t know if we can trust him after all he’s done and what he’s capable of doing and the fact he’s not always stable like in his decisions of how to handle situations... 

He doesn’t have that right now. He has a hold over The Saviors still, but for how long? And he’s still got a one up on Rick in numbers and reaches but for how long? This arc is going to be predictable and that’s lame.

And yes, most of this is me complaining. I am bored with Negan. I liked him for awhile, but by the end of S7 he just wasn’t giving me anything to be interested in. He wasn’t showing any chemistry for anyone and to me that’s important. That’s why The Governor bored me as time went on. In the beginning, he was charming and had an interesting power relationship with Merle and Milton. And with Andrea his play of being this “good guy out for his people” but is really out for himself and losing his humanity was interesting. But then he killed Merle and killed Andrea and Milton. And with Michonne he died right after having a chance to build up that rage with her.

The Terminus Gang was the same way. All this build up to get to Terminus and then they’re all killed off like pigs to a slaughterhouse a few episodes later. Grady was interesting for a second because of Dawn’s manipulative relationship with Beth and everyone but then she fucks shit up and Daryl blows her fucking brains out and then she’s dead. The Wolves were a build up that went nowhere. They literally got killed in like two episodes and then we moved on. And the Scavengers are still around but Jadis hasn’t done anything but betray Rick (not a surprise, we all saw that shit coming) and made a rocky team up with the Saviors. A team-up that we don’t even know is still going on or not. I mean I’m sure we’ll see more of them later (hopefully) but like Jadis is this “I am a Goddess Queen” bitch whose weird and creepy but otherwise she hasn’t shown anything to make her interesting or that she’s worth any build up. Yet.

I’m bored of one lane villains. Villains are only as interesting as how they go against the opposing team (I can’t call Rick’s group the good guys because they’re not, they’re just the bigger killer group’s obstacle) and how they use that relationship to battle the other. Negan doesn’t have that right now and neither does Jadis.

Negan doesn’t have a Carl. Or a Comic-Rick or Comic-Dwight. He’s just bland right now... I’m so tired of hearing about his dick. I mean I laugh a little don’t get me wrong but dude, Negan, you’re boring me

I need Gimple to give us something. Is he still going to have Negan be fascinated with and respect someone? Is he gonna have his Comic-Self fascination or is he just going to be the fucker that took Glenn and Abraham and Olivia and Sasha from us? Cause the Governor did that with Hershel and Dawn did that with Beth. We’ve had that shit already. Are we gonna get more?

This is basically an “I’m already bored of Negan” rant. His only thing going for him is that he’s played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan and he occasionally can piss me off and make me laugh. That’s it. 

Gimple... Give me something this season. Make Negan more interesting. I need to see if this is gonna be a thing.

Also, it’s okay if you don’t agree with me. That’s fine. This is my ranting opinion and I hope I’ll change my mind as S8 goes on.

#TWD Rant #the walking dead #twd negan #negan #carl grimes #daryl dixon #twd dwight #dwight #eugene porter #rick grimes #the walking dead spoilers #the walking dead season 8 #liz rants

[aion-rsa]

The Weird History of Nightmare on Elm Street Comics

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Watch Freddy Krueger kill his way through several different companies in our weird history of Nightmare on Elm Street comics.

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As a concept, the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise is something I both love and hate at the same time. On one hand, it’s a killer idea with a charismatic villain, awesome set pieces, dark humor, and over-the-top violence. On the other hand, it’s a completely broken idea. The fact that it’s a franchise makes it completely hollow. As great a villain as Freddy can be – and it says a lot that a child murderer was somehow celebrated as an '80s icon – he inherently breaks the story.

Freddy Krueger has what I’d call, for the lack of a better term, “bullshit invulnerability.” See, every Nightmare on Elm Street movie is based on the idea of him being this unstoppable boogeyman that our cast has to survive. The heroes of each story have to struggle to stop him in some way and destroy him. But you can’t destroy him because then how can you do a sequel? So it’s pointless. They’ll come up with some crazy way to stop him, do it, then the final scene will say, “Whoops, that didn’t work, I guess! See you next year!”

Freddy is so ill-defined and relentless that even the first movie is kind of ruined by the final minutes. When I decided to read through every Elm Street comic book, I knew it had that nagging, jagged puzzle piece in the way of giving us actual decent storytelling. But there are still a lot of interesting ideas thrown around in all the various publishers where Freddy had called home.

Much like his rival Jason Voorhees (who has his own weird history on the printed page, which we explored here), Freddy was sort of late to the party when it came to comics. By the time Marvel got the chance to make Nightmare on Elm Street comics in 1989, they were in the middle of releasing A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child. So Freddymania was in full swing.

Freddy Krueger’s A Nightmare on Elm Street lasted only two issues, released as black and white, magazine-sized comics. The great Steve Gerber (co-creator of Howard the Duck, among others) wrote it while Rich Buckler and Tony DeZuniga took care of the art. It’s a good-looking book and darker than you’d usually find in late-80s Marvel. Too dark, actually. The book was selling really well, but there were enough complaints from angry parents to shut it down, robbing us of a Peter David-penned Freddy story.

Rather than focus on a group of teenagers, it focuses mainly on two people. Allison is a girl who, like many children, is being haunted by Freddy every time she sleeps. The story begins with her body being found in critical condition with her parents being blamed for the crime. She’s still able to put up enough of a fight against Freddy to not die and it becomes apparent that Freddy’s interest in her is more than just another piece of meat to torture. There’s something special about her.

read more: Marvel's 31 Best Monsters

Enter Dr. Juliann Quinn, a woman who has been studying Freddy as well as how to control your dreams so you can better evade him. She comes to help Allison and discovers that years ago, Allison stumbled onto the same ability to enter the dreams of others like Freddy did. That’s why Freddy is after her: he sees Allison as a threat.

The thing that sticks out to me is how much fun it has with the lore when the movies themselves haven’t fleshed them out all that much by this point outside of the stuff about his mother. Remember, this came out before Freddy’s Dead, which spelled out Freddy’s backstory and how he came into power. Freddy Krueger’s A Nightmare on Elm Street is Steve Gerber’s vision on how Freddy came to be and while it isn’t too different, it’s certainly better written.

There are two things that really make it great. First is the fact that the magic of his abilities isn’t quite explained, but there’s just enough for us to understand without ruining the mystique. Second, for a comic that came out only a short while after Watchmen, it’s easy to see similarity between Freddy’s upbringing and Rorschach’s. It almost spells it out that Freddy is what would’ve happened if Rorschach’s experiences led to him becoming the dog-owning child-killer that drove him off the deep end instead of a crazed vigilante.

There’s also a bit that suggests that Freddy isn’t alone. There’s a whole community of freakish dream demons, only Freddy appears to be the most evil and proactive among them.

read more: 13 Essential Horror Comics

The Marvel Elm Street run is enough of a story to stand on its own, but it does leave you wanting more based on how abrupt the ending is.

In 1991, the publisher Innovation took on the franchise and released a short-lived ongoing and two miniseries, all written by Andy Mangels. Nightmares on Elm Street (now that I think of it, they should’ve gone to plural with the title years ago) lasted for six issues with two story arcs. The first of which has art by Tony Harris, which is at times stunning.

It has to do with Cybil, a woman who studies Jack the Ripper and has been having nightmares about a guy who’s similar to Jack but with a burned face. One of the dreams also leads to her stumbling across the house of her old college roommates Nancy Thompson. She investigates and discovers that Nancy’s died years ago. She gets in touch with her other roommate Priscilla (whose entire panel-time in the comic is about reminding us how gay she is) and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors survivor Neil Gordon. Soon it’s discovered that although Nancy died, she was reborn as kind of the Anti-Freddy. If Freddy is a dream demon, then she’s a dream angel, only she’s too young and inexperienced to stand up to him.

read more: The Best Modern Horror Movies

The highlight is Freddy killing Cybil’s husband with a printing press. As the guy gets chopped up from falling into the machinery, it spits out bloody newspapers with his death as the headline.

But like I said, some stuff doesn’t work. Being an Elm Street story, we need people to fall asleep for the sake of moving the plot along. That leads to a moment where Cybil’s on the phone, sitting on the couch, and she ends up standing up so fast that she passes out and enters the Dream World by accident. Um...sure, I guess.

Then there’s the twist ending, which is complete nonsense. More than your usual Elm Street ending. It’s this scene that’s supposed to be shocking and clever, but all I can do is scratch my head and wonder, “Wait, what?”

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The remainder of the series is penciled by Patrick Rolo and decides to play with the cast of the old movies some more. It’s five years after the events of A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child and survivor Alice and her son Jacob revisit Springwood to meet up with fellow survivor Yvonne because of the recent death of Alice’s father. With Jacob – who can read minds – being around, Freddy tries to butter him up and convince him to help him out. Also involved is Neil Gordon, reduced to a coma due to the previous story arc.

There’s a wild card introduced who brings some life into an otherwise lifeless cast named Devonne. She is basically Freddy’s agent in the waking world, helping him out of desperation. When she was a child, she burned down her home to kill her abusive father, but her mother died as well and Devonne’s been broken since. Not only is the incident the only thing she dreams of, but when she talks to people in real life, all she sees is them as skinless, much like how she last saw her mother. She figures that if she kills people for Freddy, Freddy will grant her at least one night of peaceful dreaming.

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But we know better.

Freddy ultimately wants to take over Jacob’s body so he can exist in the real world and while the plot is kind of weak at points, Mangels does scratch the surface of what’s a really intriguing idea that finally gives Freddy some much-needed stakes.

While the comic barely goes into it, Mangels suggests Freddy’s logical conclusion as a monster and how his reign of terror is his own undoing. Mangels establishes that Freddy’s nightmare rampages are localized to Springwood and only Springwood. He has no other jurisdiction. If he kills enough people and enough people move away, what does that mean for him? Granted, Freddy’s Dead kind of sidesteps this whole idea, but it has enough pepper to it that it’ll get used down the line in future incarnations of Freddy comics.

In an exercise in doing as many callbacks to the previous movies as possible, it’s also established that all of Freddy’s victims are stuck in his world as tortured souls unable to escape into the true afterlife. This allows appearances from the likes of the Dream Warriors, Nancy’s cop father, and Jacob’s father Dan, but even if they’re all good people, they’re still desperate to escape Freddy’s eternal torment and will do just about anything to help him.

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The whole thing just barely holds together and the ending is also really weird. It’s an actual happy ending, but even for an Elm Street plot device, it’s really odd.

Mangels would then do the adaptation for Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare with art by Mike Witherby and Robb Phipps. Shockingly, it’s the only Elm Street movie to get its own comic. I’ll admit, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the movie, but I don’t remember there being any big differences. Well, except one thing.

The movies around this time got hit hard by the MPAA and had to cut out a lot of gore to pass muster. This is a comic from a company that gives no damns about the Comics Code Authority. So you don’t have to worry about censorship here. When Freddy makes the deaf kid’s head explode, it isn’t just a balloon popping. It’s a goddamn exploding head!

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Cool thing about the three-issue mini is that there are two versions of the final issue. To go with the movie’s gratuitous use of 3D, you could buy an issue that’s mostly in 3D...albeit without color. Still, that’s a cool gimmick.

Mangels would close out the Innovation run with A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning with Dan and David Day on art. Considering they just made a big stink about Freddy being gone for reals this time (yeah, right), Mangels had to rein in the Freddy aspect. The miniseries focuses on Maggie, daughter of Freddy and hero of Freddy’s Dead. She keeps having nightmares about becoming like her father and feels the need to visit Springwood to get answers. Fellow survivor Tracy goes with her.

Storywise, not much seems to happen. It’s mostly Maggie having visions of Freddy’s origin. Seeing him kill people, watching his ill-fated trial unfold, standing helplessly as he’s lynched, etc. The only interesting part is how it goes back to young Freddy killing his foster father (Alice Cooper, you may recall) and that was some kind of sacrifice to the dream demon sperm creatures from Freddy’s Dead. Maggie and Tracy unearth the corpse and it releases some kind of magical energy that causes the house to collapse.

The second issue ends with Maggie visiting the boiler room where Freddy originally died and then vanishing. All that’s left for Tracy to find is Freddy’s hat and echoing laughter. A neat cliffhanger that simply wouldn’t be resolved.

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Innovation went out of business. Shucks. Mangels did have the script for the final issue online for a bit, but it’s long since fallen into the pits of the cyberspace abyss.

A year later, Freddy would make a minor comic appearance as Topps Comics did a three-issue take on Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. Said movie is mainly remembered for the final scene that hints on the big money throwdown between horror icons.

Freddy remained quiet for over a decade. It’s not like he had much going on. New Nightmare didn’t really seem comic-friendly in its meta movie design and Freddy vs. Jason was stuck in developmental Hell. Shockingly, even when they DID get around to making the movie in 2003, there were still no comics to capitalize.

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It took Avatar Press to finally break the silence in 2005. They started with a one-shot simply called A Nightmare on Elm Street, put together by Brian Pulido and Juan Jose Ryp. Being an Avatar Press book, that means you have a lot of unsavory gore and unattractive drawings that are supposed to be attractive to look forward to. Seriously, it’s like nearly every female in an Avatar Press book has to wear high thong straps and a halter top.

Though it is neat that we have confirmation that Freddy and Leatherface apparently coexist in the same continuity. This continuity, at least.

The Avatar run goes with the status quo introduced in Freddy vs. Jason. Sort of. The local government wants to keep him under wraps so that teens won’t be terrorized by him. I thought the concept was done really well in the movie. On one hand, it worked. It actually cut Freddy off at the knees and made him too weak to do any damage whatsoever, hence the need for Jason. At the same time, there were still the moral implications of what Springwood was doing and the question of the ends justifying the means. You feel for the teens involved, but you also know that they’re doing horrific damage by unraveling the conspiracy.

It makes no sense here because Freddy is still able to do his thing. He’s just as capable of committing dream murder as ever, so there’s no point to the conspiracy. He isn’t underpowered or anything like that. He’s still offing kids, only they now have Men in Black guys on their backs to silence them. For what reason?! Their big plan isn’t doing a damn thing! There is no house of cards to knock over!

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Anyway, this one-shot is just about teens being killed while the government conspiracy is happening around them. Just nihilistic, violent, and pointless, like much of Avatar’s licensed comics.

The same creative team then did a three-issue miniseries called A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid. Due to delays, it took about seven months for the whole thing to finish. The plot is a follow-up to the previous story where we get a lot of, “You can’t talk about Freddy or people will die!” while people are fucking dying regardless.

There are two parts here that are really good, though. First is how Freddy wants to spread the message that he’s out there and decides to use a kid named Mike as his megaphone to the world. Mike’s dozing off at a football game and Freddy casually meets up with him, asking for confirmation that Mike’s a hemophiliac. A confused Mike says he is, so Freddy pokes him with his finger and Mike explodes in a fountain of gore in the stands, leaving a message.

But it’s the ending that’s so close to being brilliant. The main character Claire reads up on Freddy’s so-called defeats from over the years and while nothing’s really worked in the long run, she’s inspired by the attempts to drag him into reality. Sure, making him physical and killing him hasn’t put him at a permanent end, but she knows how to use it.

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She draws him into the real world, but makes sure it’s in front of a pep rally. The entire high school is there and she and her boyfriend are armed and ready. Claire unloads on Freddy while telling everyone what a joke he ultimately is, successfully dressing him down with insults. He’s a gigantic, pathetic loser. Seeing him so vulnerable works its magic and everyone in the building is bonded in their belief that Freddy is nothing to be afraid of.

Freddy loses control of the souls he’s collected and his victims start to tear him apart. This could have been the best ending. Let me explain why with a little tangent.

Back in the early 90s, Peter Jackson had a movie screenplay for an intended sixth installment called A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Lover. It was about Freddy being deemed such a worthless joke that teenagers would go to sleep for the sake of finding him in the Dream World and kicking the shit out of him for laughs. Without anyone fearing him, Freddy is in a Clockwork Orange situation where he’s at the mercy of anyone and everyone. Then he eventually regains his mojo and builds a body count to get some revenge.

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It sounds completely awesome and of course they went with Freddy’s Dead instead. Though to be fair, Freddy’s Dead was about offing him "forever" while Dream Lover was about revitalizing the franchise.

So anyway, in a better world, they would have made a comic adaptation of Dream Lover as a follow-up. This whole climax with Claire exposing Freddy in front of all the other teens would’ve been the prime setup for how he becomes a dumpy punching bag.

And instead we get the, “LOL Freddy wins!” ending. Fantastic.

On another note, Juan Jose Ryp has some issues with his art. More than the usual Avatar issues. It’s like he glossed over the script at times. During the pep rally scene, it’s mentioned multiple times that Claire and her boyfriend are armed with shotguns when they most definitely carry handguns in every panel. Or there’s this bit.

Now, I don’t want to be THAT GUY, but...does she really got back? She’s got the ass of someone who sells propane and propane accessories.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Fearbook finishes off the Avatar Press run, brought to us by Brian Pulido and Dheeraj Verma. This one is actually a lot of fun and plays with the Freddy concept to bring us something unique and original. It even begins with a rather funny fake-out where a student falls asleep during class and the infamous Freddy song is overheard as if she's about to meet her doom.

As it turns out, things are going pretty well in Springwood. Hypnocil, the drug that prevents you from dreaming, is given out all over. Everyone is now immune to Freddy’s wrath and it’s driving him mad.

Enter a gang of thugs driving through the area, completely ignorant to Freddy's existence. They rob a drug store and things get violent fast. When it becomes a hostage situation and one of the hostages starts drugging the killers with sleeping pills, it translates into a pretty neat revenge story.

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We’re so used to the constant compassion and helpless panic in these stories that it’s outright jarring to see someone vindictively watch over a sleeping person, knowing that Freddy’s about to have his way with them.

Just as Avatar Press said goodbye to Elm Street, Wildstorm went to work with eight issues of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Chuck Dixon and Kevin West are the creative team for the series, though Joel Gomez fills in on the art in the fourth issue.

The first three issues is a story called “Freddy’s War,” about a girl named Jade. She and her family just moved in to Springwood after years of constantly moving due to her father’s military status. We quickly jump in to action as her brother is killed and Jade knows she’s next. In a breath of fresh air, her open-minded father is totally willing to hear her out on this whole dream demon situation. It’s honestly refreshing to see a parent in a horror story seeing his daughter suddenly waking up with bloody claw marks on her back and going, “I am totally willing to believe whatever you’re about to tell me.”

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There’s also a subplot about one of those creepy little girls who always shows up in the protagonists’ dreams. For once, we get an actual explanation instead of her just being a random construct created by Freddy for the sake of being spooky. Being that this is Chuck Dixon, we get a climax based on Jade’s dad using his military weapons and training in the Dream World to fight Freddy, but come on. We know how much good that’ll do in the long run.

At least the follow-up issue tortures Freddy a bit. That little girl is able to do as she pleases in the Dream World and Freddy appears to be powerless to cut her up. Finding out that she’s going to be moving away soon, he gets increasingly desperate to end her before it’s too late.

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Then there’s a three-issue story called “The Demon of Sleep.” This one’s pretty cool. A group of geeks are being targeted by Freddy and one does some research and discovers an Aztec deity known for protecting people from bad dreams. He gets a talisman and comes up with a plot to summon the god to take care of Freddy.

Much like Freddy vs. Jason, the only thing stopping Freddy from being taken out for good is morality. To put the god at its full strength, they need to do a sacrifice. The ringleader opts to sacrifice the local jock bully, but the others aren’t really sure if they can go through with it. It all ultimately leads to a dark and tragic ending where hopes are dashed.

The final issue is a tale of a guy working at a local fast food place who stumbles upon the dreams of others being killed by Freddy. His dreams are so traumatizing that he’s in a constant, dazed state of work and fantasy, unable to tell the difference.

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A couple months later, Wildstorm released a one-shot called New Line Cinema’s Tales of Horror. It featured a short Texas Chainsaw Massacre story followed by an Elm Street story. The short story “Copycat” is by Christos Gage and Stefano Raffaele and it’s great.

Freddy is annoyed when one of his victims awakens only to have some fat dork dressed in a striped sweater kill her instead. Freddy discovers it’s this guy named Otis, a sociopath that Freddy passed over during Otis’ teenage years because Freddy thought him too pathetic and that death would be doing him a favor. Years later, he’s a total Freddy fanboy and wants in on the action as Freddy’s sidekick.

Freddy’s not interested, but his hands are tied. Remember during the Innovation run where I talked about how Freddy’s only vulnerability is an empty plate? Gage embraces the idea. Freddy needs to be discrete to do his twisted work. If his existence is public knowledge, then Springwood will simply empty out and he’ll be out of a hobby. Otis knows that and blackmails him so that if Otis is killed or Freddy refuses his help, tons of evidence will be emailed to the media.

To deal with this problem, Freddy stumbles upon another fanboy. It’s simply wonderful because the very idea of people idolizing him takes Freddy out of his comfort zone and even he finds this completely absurd.

The ending ties things up nicely and there’s a funny aside about a teenager on meth that Freddy considers a threat. Track this one down. It’s easily the best Freddy comic.

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Then in 2008, Wildstorm and Dynamite teamed up to give us Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash, a six-issue miniseries based on the unused screenplay for a suggested sequel to Freddy vs. Jason. Coincidentally, Bruce Campbell always thought such a movie was ridiculous because he believed nobody in their right mind had any interest in seeing his aging ass reprise the role of Ash Williams.

And now, of course, Mr. Campbell knows better.

Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash was written by Jeff Katz and James Anthony while drawn by Jason Craig and...*sigh*

Okay, listen, folks. I’ve been writing for Den of Geek for years now. I’ve talked about Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash when I did my list of ridiculous appearances by horror icons in non-movie media. I talked about it again when I did a list of comic book sequels to movies. Then yet again when I went over the history of Friday the 13th comics. I’m probably going to do an Evil Dead comics retrospective down the line and talk about it a fifth time!

Guys. I’m so tired of writing about Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash.

Anyway, the series picks up after Freddy vs. Jason and throws Ash into the mix, out to keep the Necronomicon out of the hands of both Freddy and Jason. It’s great because for once we have a genuinely charismatic hero to cheer for. I mean, the best hero character we’ve had up to this point is, who, Nancy? Yeah, Ash is a huge step up and it helps knowing that he has plot armor, so we’re assured that at the end of the day, he’s not going to be easily snuffed out to make way for the next hapless protagonist.

The final battle between the three is kind of rad, even if the artist decided not to draw any backgrounds for most of it.

A year or so later, the creative team would follow-up with Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: Nightmare Warriors. While it’s a definite love letter to the three franchises and has a killer hook, it also needed a handful of rewrites and art that wasn’t rushed out the gate. The hook is that a support group is put together of people who have survived Freddy and/or Jason. It’s headed by Elm Street survivors Neil Gordon and Maggie Burroughs and includes other heroes from the various movies. Ash is invited since he’s had success against both Freddy and Jason at the same time.

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As this is going on, Freddy becomes empowered by the Necronomicon and attempts to take over the world with Jason and the Deadites on his side.

Things get completely ridiculous and not in a good way. It’s total nonsense with Maggie going evil just because, dressing slutty, and making out with her dad to drive home how suddenly evil she is. A lot of stuff just happens without explanation. But hey, we do get some random bits of nutty fanservice, like when Nancy’s ghost appears to help Neil out.

But the one cool thing about the mini is Freddy’s fate. This is the last Freddy Krueger comic and the last use of the Robert Englund incarnation of the character in any media, so this is the last word. In the end, he’s completely stripped of his powers by the ghouls living inside the Necronomicon. Reduced to a human and begging for his life, Freddy is then shot in the chest by Ash and his boomstick. Freddy’s corpse is blasted into a vortex. Then a random government agent character is also knocked into the vortex and we discover that he was the very cop back in the 60s who didn’t sign Freddy’s arrest warrant. He magically winds up back in the '60s and signs the warrant, thereby preventing Freddy’s lynching and origin.

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So in review, Freddy is completely depowered, as killed as killed can be, and then has his history as a demon murderer erased via time travel. You have to give this book credit for being thorough.

Overall, the Freddy comics aren’t going to blow you away, but there’s smatterings of brilliance and flashes of interesting ideas to be found buried in there. With the reboot movie falling flat, there’s no reason to expect another Elm Street comic for a long, long time. Maybe if the next attempt reboot works out or if another publisher wants to gamble on some more nostalgia.

But hey, at least we have Scary Terry in the Rick and Morty comic! Close enough, bitch!

Gavin Jasper thinks people should use Dokken as a weapon against Freddy Krueger more often. It worked like gangbusters the first time! Follow Gavin on Twitter.

Read and download the Den of Geek NYCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Feature

Movies

Gavin Jasper

Oct 26, 2019

A Nightmare On Elm Street

Freddy Krueger

steve gerber

31 Days of Horror

from Books https://ift.tt/346Szwt

#aion-rsa #Books

[la-plus-heureuse]

so i think i’m kinda fucked

so the guy i mentioned in my last Theatre Rant, Jeremy, aka the lead of the show, aka Mr. Charming and Unbelievably Cute, actually talked to me at rehearsal last night.

i know, it sounds so juvenile. it’s like i’m in fucking high school all over again. “oh my god, he talked to me! he said ‘hey’ and i said ‘hey’ back! he’s SO in love with me!!!” i know i’m a nutcase, and i try to always take that into account with all my actions and just general every day life, but my stupid monkey brain can’t seem to ignore this shit. this is a textbook schoolgirl crush.

so as i mentioned before, i am pure shit at making friends with people, and usually end up just being all to myself and never saying a damn word to anyone. i’ve been in a community choir for 8 years and have 0 friends in that group. i get along with most people, but i haven’t said a word to at least 80% of them. that’s the level of anti-social/shy that we’re dealing with here. and the only reason i talk to the other 20% is because they talked to me first and i was being a decent human and responding to them. that’s it. so you can imagine the plight i struggle with on the daily, even in groups of amazing people, in fields of interest that are the bread and butter of my very existence (music and theatre if you couldn’t tell).

now that i’ve established just how much of an awkward swamp monster i am, let me set the stage (he he, pun). when we first started rehearsals for the show, we of course started with learning the music. we sat in the rehearsal studio in a choral style - half circle, with women on one side and men on the other by voice part. there were SEVERAL times during those rehearsals when i just absentmindedly looked around the room, at the rest of the group, usually during a funny moment or something, and i would catch Jeremy looking at me, and only at me, smiling his big, handsome, goofy grin. now, Jeremy comes across as a naturally friendly and outgoing guy, who goes out of his way to make connections with everyone. he just has that natural aura. so i didn’t think much of it, since i just chalked it up to him just being friendly and being his natural charismatic self. in fact, all the instances i’ll mention here could all be chalked up to me just overthinking shit and him just being a friendly guy. but see, i am not used to anyone paying the slightest ounce of attention to me, especially someone i’m attracted to. most people i’m attracted to never give me the time of day, and i end up just staring and pining from afar. so this is foreign and just weird to me.

i should go back a bit further, to when i first met Jeremy, which was at the callbacks. we were all just waiting out in the hall, and he just....walked up to me. unprompted. he introduced himself, and we talked for a few minutes about this theatre group, the fact that he’s been in several of their shows and that the group is like a big family. i told him about my past shows, and we just kind of had a general conversation. it was cut short, however, because we were called into the auditorium for the callback process. i didn’t see him any more that night, because i was dismissed soon after and he stayed after for more sides being read from the show.

after that, we never really talked to each other anymore. there were a few times when leaving the music rehearsals that, when putting away our chairs, he grabbed mine from me, made significant eye contact with me, and i thanked him after recovering from the shock of him just fucking grabbing my chair, and that was it. but it was that eye contact and the fact that he insisted to put away my chair for me that really threw me. granted, he did the same thing for other people, primarily women (chivalry is not dead after all!), so, again - probably me overthinking shit.

and then, it happened. last night, during the first run through of the entire show, at one point while standing on the sides and watching the scenes take place, he came and stood next to me. he talked to the guy on the other side of him for a few minutes, all the while my heart was beating like a goddamn jackrabbit at the fact that he was standing so close to me.

the scene we were watching is near the end of the show, when the “villain,” Charlie, the anvil salesman, is trying to out Harold (Jeremy’s character) as a con man, but is prevented from boarding the train on time by Marian. There’s a moment where he’s supposed to comically drop his briefcase, which is super heavy because it’s holding a fucking anvil (not for real though). very near to where Charlie is standing on the stage, however, is a big hole for the conductor to stand in the pit, and we call it the Hole of Death because we could potentially fall in and die (or, more realistically, hurt and embarrass the everloving shit out of ourselves), or kill the conductor by falling on him. when Charlie dropped his anvil briefcase last night, it dangerously teetered for a few seconds, VERY close to the Hole of Death.

and then, out of nowhere, Jeremy leans over to me, and whispers, “can you imagine if that thing fell in during the show, killing Daniel (the conductor)?” i snickered, and tried to fight both my continuous rapidly beating heart, and the goosebumps that had now formed from him whispering VERY closely into my ear. but here’s the thing. i actually didn’t fuck up. i didn’t stumble on my words or say or do anything awkwardly. i snickered at his comment, and replied, “yeah, i can just imagine Daniel just slowly picking up the briefcase and pushing it slowly back up onto the stage.” he snickered at that, and i decided now was the time for me to turn to him and say, “you’re doing a really great job, by the way.” i had been wanting to say that for a while, you see. he thanked me, and a second later, whispered again to me, “you mean i’m actually doing a very sweaty job.” i turned to him and he had this dumb smirk on his face. i shrugged. “well, we can’t tell.” he thanked me again, humbly i might add, and we were silent for another minute. then, the four men in the barbershop quartet came over, and asked Jeremy to play their starting pitch on his pitch pipe before their next entrance, since Jeremy’s the only one with a pitch pipe, and so he then turns to me and whispers, “duty calls,” FUCKING WINKS AT ME, and goes off with the quartet.

and that was it. that was the entire interaction. again, i know very well how ridiculous i’m being about this. but i will tell you that the second i was in my car as i was leaving, i kept saying to myself, “he talked to me, oh my god he talked to me.” i want to seriously punch myself in the face at how unbelievably stupid i’m being. i feel like i’m fucking 15 again. i can’t take this shit. it wasn’t like he asked me out or obviously flirted with me. can you even classify that as flirting? i can’t tell if  it was anything other than just casual conversation. trust me, i’ve thought about this for HOURS. i guess it also depends on HOW he said these things. all i can say is that the bastard is just charming. all the time. to everyone. and when he whispered to me, i cannot stress enough how fucking close he got to my ear when he did so. most people just whisper to each other from a reasonable distance without any issues, but this fucker had to almost give me a coronary by getting all up in my space and causing all 5 of my senses to go into overload in a very good way. i just....don’t know what to think of this. was he flirting with me? or am i just being a delusional idiot? if someone is actually reading this, can you please enlighten me and probably give me some goddamn peace of mind, or reasonable sense? because i am legitimately going crazy here. i keep thinking about him and my heart just starts going BERSERK, my dudes. i’m really, really fucked here.

#this one isn't a theatre rant this time #it involves theatre but isn't centered around it #personal