#the king's daughter

[recycledmoviecostumes]

This gold and black damask cloak trimmed in fur was first seen being worn by Emma Thompson as Lady Marchmain in the 2008 adaptation of Brideshead Revisited. It was worn again several years later on an extra in the court of Versailles in the 2022 film The King’s Daughter. 

Costume Credit: Anne81, Frock Flicks

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#brideshead revisited #emma thompson #the king's daughter #costume drama #period drama

[goryfluff]

KAYA SCODELARIO in THE KING'S DAUGHTER (2022) dir. Sean McNamara costume design by Lizzy Gardiner

#the king's daughter #kaya scodelario #filmgifs #fyeahmovies #dailyflicks #moviegifs #works

[costumeloverz71]

Marie-Josephe (Kaya Scodelario) Pink dress.. The King's Daughter (2022).. Costume by Lizzy Gardiner.

#marie-josephe #kaya scodelario #the king's daughter #lizzy gardiner

[in-love-with-movies]

The King's Daughter (2021)

#The King's Daughter #filmedit #Kaya Scodelario #Pierce Brosnan #William Hurt #Sean McNamara #Vonda N. McIntyre #perioddramaedit #my gifs #movie gifs

[userscenery]

The King's Daughter (2022) dir. Sean McNamara

#filmedit #sceneryedit #perioddramaedit #moviegifs #filmgifs #dailyflicks #chewieblog #mediagifs #tvfilmsource #cinemapix #cinematv #useroptional #userquel #userthing #userbbelcher #the king's daughter #ours #by dasha

[adetodo]

#aaron taylor johnson #aaron taylor-johnson gif #aarontaylorjohnsonedit #aaron taylor-johnson crackship #kaya scodelario x aaron taylor johnson #Kaya Scodelario #kaya scodelario gif #kaya scodelario crackship #the king's daughter #anna karenina #anna karenina 2012

[wintercat666]

Benjamin Walker as Captain Yves

The King's Daughter (2022)

#Benjamin Walker #The King's Daughter #The King's Daughter (2022) #2022 #movie #screencaps #movie screencaps

[mermaidbracket]

#Lucia Nanami #Mermaid Melody #mermaid melody pichi pichi pitch #Sherzad #The Moon and the Sun #the king's daughter #Round One

[movie-titlecards]

The King's Daughter (2022)

My rating: 6/10

With a premise this silly and a plot this ridiculous, it depends entirely on the execution whether it's a bit of entertaining nonsense or just utter garbage, and I think they managed to land on the right side of the line - I had a pretty good time with this, even if it isn't objectively very good.

#The King's Daughter #Sean McNamara #Barry Berman #James Schamus #Vonda N. McIntyre #Pierce Brosnan #Kaya Scodelario #William Hurt #Youtube

[bibliosauruswrecks]

*takes a deep breath*

Okay, guess we’re doing this.

I watched The King’s Daughter today.  I should’ve watched it with booze, because I feel like this is the sort of film that can only be enhanced with alcohol.  I’ll know better next time.  This movie is bonkers and boring and wants so badly to be something special, but it just can’t get there.

I am by no means a film critic, and the most I can claim is I was going for a writing degree in college, but I have Opinions, and what else is the internet for than to scream said Opinions into the void.

Let’s start with the plot, which can be summed up as follows:

King Louis XIV of France plans to sacrifice a mermaid during a solar eclipse to gain immortality, but a complication arises when his secret daughter makes friends with it.

Have I lost you yet?

Strap yourselves in, folks, because I’m about to break it down for you in the most rambling, disjointed way I can manage.

(Center, King Louis XIV of France, a.k.a. the Sun King, a.k.a. Majesty, a.k.a. Bourbon, James Bourbon.  To the left is Father La Chaise, the only decent man in Versailles.)

The year is 1684, and King Louis XIV has just survived an assassination attempt.  It doesn’t matter by whom, or why; that’s irrelevant.  The important thing is that Louis has realized he’s mortal and will eventually die, and something must be done about that.

Enter this guy:

Les Goode Docteur suggests sacrificing a mermaid during the upcoming solar eclipse so that Louis might consume its essence and gain immortality.  This is the closest thing we have to an actual villain, although his motivation seems to be For Science! and that’s about it.  All the man needs is a dramatic music cue every time he’s on screen.

Father La Chaise is obviously hesitant about this idea, but doesn’t try to talk anyone out of it.  Don’t worry, he gets better.  Eventually.

But where does one find a mermaid?  In Atlantis, obviously!  And who better to find Atlantis than a random sea captain and his trusty crew?

Captain Qui-Gon is promptly dispatched to find Atlantis and capture a mermaid.  Which he promptly does.

This all happens in the first five minutes, by the way.

This, by itself, is enough plot to go on, but there’s more!  Remember the secret daughter?

Meet Marie-Josephe, King Louis’s secret daughter who was raised in a convent and tormented the nuns, but we don’t actually see any of that, just take our word for it.  She will be referred to as MJ going forward.

MJ has been brought to Versailles for Reasons. They don’t actually matter.  The important thing is that she plays the cello, she doesn’t know Louis is her father, and she can hear the mermaid he’s imprisoned under the fountain in the gardens when it sings.

Naturally, MJ sneaks out at night to the easily-discoverable secret mermaid prison and befriends the mermaid.  And also falls in love with Captain Qui-Gon.

But there’s a spanner in the works in the form of an arranged marriage!

This dude is supposedly The Worst, and marrying him is a fate worse than death.  I’m not sure why.  Sure, he's a prick, but not evil as far as I can tell.  He makes a couple catty remarks, sucks up to the king, and is quickly forgotten about in favor of the Free Willy scheme in the third act.

So, here’s our bonkers plot threads in ascending order of absurdity:

King Louis XIV wants to sacrifice a mermaid during a solar eclipse to gain eternal life (the local priest is only somewhat uncomfortable with this until three-quarters of the way through when he realizes mermaids are sentient, or have souls, or something).

King Louis XIV sends a expedition to search for the Lost City of Atlantis (this is achieved within 30 seconds and is not remarked on again until the end of the film).

King Louis XIV’s daughter has a secret friendship with a mermaid that is Definitely Heterosexual and a secret romance with a sailor that is 100% Not Contrived.

King Louis XIV has a secret illegitimate daughter who was raised by nuns.

Any one of these could’ve been its own film, and we’ve got all four vying for screen time in 90 minutes or less.

Which brings me to the next issue: Pacing and editing.

If a movie could give someone whiplash, this would be it.  There are no scene transitions.  It's just *bam!* We're here! *bam!* Now we're over here! *bam!* Now this is happening! *bam!* Now we're back over here again! 

At the same time, it takes a solid 40 minutes before there’s anything that resembles a conflict, and that’s just MJ breaking her arm and Les Goode Docteur wanting to amputate, which will seriously screw up her cello abilities.  (And apparently Duke Weaselton accused Captain Qui-Gon of stealing something and had him arrested a few years ago.  That’s why they hate each other.)

Jump forward another ten minutes for “MJ, I am your father!  And also you must marry Duke Weaselton tomorrow to save France from bankruptcy.”

But enough about that.  Let’s move on to the mermaid, shall we?  You’ll probably wish we didn’t because... well...

Why would you do this?  Fan Bingbing already has an etherealness to her beauty, so why would you cover her face in CG fish scales?  And why, if you’re gonna go to all that trouble, would you leave her with human hair?  If you’re gonna go full fish-person, you should commit to the aesthetic!  I have thoughts, but I’m also running out of steam, and I haven’t even gotten to the glorious mess that is the costuming.

What the hell is going on here?  I'm not even remotely qualified to call myself a dress historian, but I know damn well this is not 1680s fashion.  Long trousers didn’t come into style until the 1820s.

Let me reiterate: This movie takes place in 1684.  In Versailles.  In the court of Louis the Sun King.  This is the perfect opportunity to go balls-to-the-walls bonkers with the costuming, except they went in the wrong damn direction!

I’m returning to the plot now, because if I linger here any longer I might set something on fire.  Also, I must see this through to the bitter end.

The sudden marriage to Duke Weaselton is nothing more than a convenient plot device to allow MJ to sneak out under the guise of going to confession so she and Captain Qui-Gon can free the mermaid.  How do they know the mermaid is in danger? Because the night before, he and some guy I think is supposed to be his sidekick break into Les Goode Docteur’s office, where his dastardly plans to dissect the mermaid are conveniently laid out on a table to be stolen.  His motivation for this late-night burglary is either never explained, or I missed it.  It’s probably the former.

(There’s also a whole other movie going on with Captain Qui-Gon and his crew.  I want that movie.)

MJ and Captain Qui-Gon reverse the polarity of the water pressure or something so the mermaid can jump the retaining wall and swim to freedom.  This is accompanied by Les Goode Docteur and the least-dynamic fight scene I've ever seen that wasn't supposed to be played for laughs.

Les Goode Docteur shoots Captain Qui-Gon at point blank range, but he’s rescued by the mermaid who heals him before carrying him to safety.  MJ probably drowns Les Goode Docteur, but since this is a family film, we don’t see anything.

There’s a final showdown on the cliffs above the sea between MJ and the King where she calls him out on what a terrible person he is, tells him to choose between her and his immortality, and then jumps to her death.  Obviously, since this is a family film, the King chooses his daughter and allows the mermaid to live, which the she repays by healing MJ.

King Louis learns an important lesson about love, Duke Weaselton is completely forgotten about, and Father La Chaise continues to be the only decent man in Versailles.

Meanwhile, Captain Qui-Gon and MJ reunite, and sail off into the sunset in search of Atlantis, which they find almost immediately and live happily ever after.  I guess.

I also started keeping a tally for gratuitous slow-motion shots.  The final count was 12.

One last thing.

This is Magali, MJ’s lady-in-waiting and first real friend.  She’s a precious bean who deserves the world, her own story, and a politically advantageous marriage to a gentleman who loves and respects her.

TL;DR this movie is a disaster, and I love it.

#the king's daughter #wrecks roasts movies #this movie is a disaster #long post #sorry not sorry #image heavy #mermaids #hey look it's mermay

[nata-ver]

The King's Daughter 2021

#The King's Daughter #fairytale #Kaya Scodelario #Benjamin Walker #mermaid

[mlmdisneyloveselena]

The Princess and The Spring Princess moodboard

#princess aesthetic #princess moodboard #spring #springtime #royalty aesthetic #royal moodboard #fairest #daughter of persephone #daughter of a king #the king's daughter #child of persephone #french princess #lovley princess

[cjbolan]

The King’s Daughter (2022) did this same bullshit: using CGI to make an Asian playing a mermaid look White =( .

#the king's daughter #sun and moon #mermaid #books #the little mermaid #disney #disney little mermaid #live action little mermaid #little mermaid remake #whitewashing #tw whitewashing #racism #tw racism #fan bingbing #halle bailey #ariel #my ariel

[themovieworldaccordingtotps]

WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2022

Cha Cha Real Smooth For an indie with a quirky plot and title, it doubles down on its clichéd quirky poster with the yellow-orange background, the stunned emotions and the serif font. How can I tell that this is a movie that featured DJ Casper’s timeless dance-along hit?

Lyle, Lyle Crocodile Copy and paste the characters in a crossway to “pay homage” to Abbey Road, and you have a dire poster with oddly-positioned characters that have kids-movie reactions.

Mack and Rita Keaton’s reaction is all of us.

Prey for the Devil Not sure if this is a mouth sucking piercing split ends or a kitchen sink draining out dark paint.

Strange World This is one of the most notable evidences of Disney botching the marketing for Strange World. For real, why tentacles? And strangling the supposed heroes?   The King’s Daughter Not going to make a joke on a very untimely manner. (Check the poster as to which joke.) Just take note of Pierce Brosnan’s pasted Easter Island face.   The People We Hate at the Wedding Might as well call it “The People We Hate for Skipping the Wedding and Rushing to the Reception”. Also, this family has unnaturally big heads.   The Tiger Rising And for Dennis Quaid’s second appearance on this list…   The Whale Pure lazy. For a film that has unwarranted acclaim (credit to Brendan Fraser), the graphics team somehow only used the single still photo of The Whale’s IMDB page, plastered some credits and critics’ blurbs, and called it a day.   Uncharted We can always rely on Tom Holland blockbusters for bringing back the floating heads trope.

#movie posters #best of 2022 #2022 #cha cha real smooth #lyle lyle crocodile #mack and rita #prey for the devil #strange world #the king's daughter #the people we hate at the wedding #the tiger rising #the whale #uncharted

[fairytalemovies]

#the king's daughter #the moon and the sun

[adetodo]

#aaron taylor johnson #atj #atjedit #aarontaylorjohnsonedit #kaya scodelario x aaron taylor johnson #aaron taylor-johnson gif #aaron taylor-johnson crackship #Kaya Scodelario #kaya scodelario gif #kaya scodelario crackship #the king's daughter #anna karenina #anna karenina 2012