#the lady that does it is so fuckin nice tho

[tsintotwo]

(Part 2/4)

Second post talking about Tom Sturridge in his projects (Part 1 here).

Remainder (2015)- Plot: Dude has an accident and is in a coma for months. Afterwards, he's forgotten a lot but weirdly, is remembering things that seem to have never happened. This dude is Tom. Now, I have to give it to the director- Tom has been shot GORGEOUSLY in this. The movie is slow at the start and honestly I was ready to happily treat and view this as a 2-hr modeling exercise feat. him. But things did get interesting, and I ended up kinda enjoying the movie. Tom's character gets slowly unhinged, and he portrays that so well. The voice, the attitude, the inevitable sexual tension- all of it had me mesmerized. He kisses a woman and a man. This 2nd kiss might just be, without any exaggeration, the hottest thing I've ever seen in my whole damn life. What's great about this is when he's kissing this man, it's not just like 'oh yeah sexy times!!1!' Basically his character had been trying to recreate a scenario (that happened with the 1st kiss) for months and with this man in this moment it's all come together- so he's ecstatic and almost delirious: that's the scene here. Idk how much the actors really got into this irl 'cause most of the kiss looks quite close-mouthed, but that matters zero per cent because HOLY FUCK they, esp. Tom, sell it like there's no tomorrow. He's just so. fuckin. INTENSE. I can swear to you right now: I will NEVER be over this. (Sorry for a longass kiss analysis; not tryna be pervy, it just really made an impact.)

Mary Shelley (2017)- Kissing husband in front of wife, flirting with said wife, making out with mistress, and then introducing everyone to his twink, all under a minute. Meet Lord Byron, ladies and gentlemen, a veritable chaotic devil. In the movie for, like, 15 mins, but Tom just rolls up and SETS THE HOUSE ON FIRE. Playing such an outrageous character, it might have been easy to make it a caricature. But Tom makes it believable, and you can kinda tell he's having fun with this. The effect is electrifying. Just, perfect casting.

Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)- I'd watched the movie when it came out 'cause I'm into horror/thrillers, but the only thing I remembered is not particularly liking it. I did go and look at Tom's scenes again (who, until recently, I'd totally forgotten was in this movie). He plays a hipster art critic, complete with pretentious scarves. It's a small role, and unremarkable. He does what the job asks of him. There's no lasting impact. (Did he come into the movie 'cause he's friends with Jake Gyllenhaal?)

Sweetbitter (2019)- Series on Starz. New adult girl, Tess, comes to NY, starts working at a high-end restaurant. Falls for bartender Jake immediately. But he's childhood friends+ with two-faced queen B Simone who's very territorial about him. Tess gets close with both of them, and you just know there's a clusterfuck coming. Which we didn't actually see arrive because the show got cancelled after 2 seasons. I did mostly watch this- interesting enough, but riddled with problems. That aside, Tom plays Jake and I have to say this is the only time ever I've thought him less than perfect. The character is a walking NA instalovey-romance trope with near zero redeeming qualities, that's one thing. But a. Tom's American accent was off (which is weird 'cause he's pulled it off decently enough in other things), and b. (I feel like this is the showmakers' fault)- this character is supposed to be a thirst trap: broody asshole, a player with tattoos, a classic bad boy- and I KNOW Tom can do that, be that. And yet, he kind of... wasn't, 100%? The show just failed to present him that way, and it's SUCH a missed opportunity. I mean, dude's got the looks, the charisma, has done awfully well in bad news/lusty devil roles before. So what gives? Just, frustrating. The intimate scenes in the show are VERY nicely done tho. Worth watching just for seeing Tom fuckboy-shoving and kissing a girl against a wall tbh (A taste here)

Irma Vep (2022)- HBO show. Actress separates from actor husband after cheating on him with a woman, goes to France to film a remake of a classic movie called 'Irma Vep' and reflect on life and shit. Yeah, I wasn't gonna watch this. So, I watched the parts with Tom. He's the ex-husband, now on friendly terms with the MC. I loved him in this: something so natural about both when he's having a quiet, regretful convo with his ex wife and being playful and upbeat with his young new gf. There's this scene when he's hurting, goes to the MC for comfort, and they end up sleeping together. It was SO well done- hesitation, hurt, desire, wanting each other, but still really looking for comfort... masterful, from both actors (Tom with Alicia Vikander) and the director.

Bonus: See Wall/A Life (2019)- Two monologues from Tom (Sea Wall) and Jake Gyllenhaal (A Life) at Public Theatre and on Broadway. They both got Tony noms for Best Actor for this. It kills me that there's no way to see it now (check out the trailer on yt, you'll regret too), but there's an audiobook for this done by them on Audible which I got. I just love Tom's voice, okay? Love the way he speaks, even when he's not being Morpheus. And him telling me a 36 min story where he gets hyper and then quiet, excited and then devasted, is in love, is heartbroken- and I can replay it as many times as I want? Just, gimme. Any day, anytime. I'm so happy this exists.

That's it for this post. I've watched more stuff, so there will be a next installment.

#tom sturridge #dream of the endless #sandman #the sandman #mary shelley #velvet buzzsaw #sweetbitter #irma vep #remainder #sea wall/a life #morpheus

[snobgoblin]

more spoilers actually I'm not done yet

when I tell you. that I got CHILLS hearing the end credits song. holy fuckin shit I nearly cried. and WHEN FOXY DID HIS LITTLE HUM. AND WHEN THEY REVEALED VANESSAS NAME. AND THE WAY THEY STUFF YOU INTO SUITS IS ACTUALLY SOOOOO SCARY oh my god and when I saw that poster in the office....... when I was a kid, I loved that poster. I made one out of crayons. it's really special to me and I got really emotional seeing it again. GOD AND- AND THE "ITS ME" ON THE WALL AND THE "I ALWAYS COME BACK" AND THE "SAVE THEM" AT THE END OUYTHGHTTT GOD THE MEMORIES WHAT A GREAT MOVIE! I did also love finally seeing the kids- but I think im still gonna go with my headcanon of Freddy's kid being a girl bc he was in the girls restroom. ive just believed that for so long lol. also it's interesting to me how Mike wasn't related to the Aftons AT ALL but instead it was Vanessa... I kept waiting for the reveal but I got really blindsided! and Vanessa being his daughter actually does make a bit more sense. I just wonder where Henry and his daughter comes into play... because, like... the puppet, you know? but it was good, don't get me wrong. and it was nice to see Mike having an actual personality for once! gosh I know there's more I want to say. eh I'll think of it

OH I had a really bad feeling about the guy hiring Mike!!! the MOMENT he hesitated saying his last name and completely changed his tune I knew something was up... then I remembered the silver eyes and I was like OHHHHHH SHIT ITS AFTON and then I heard him say "the owner doesn't wanna let it go" and he chuckled I was like YEAH OK THIS IS WILLY and I also liked how the babysitter could've just been some random lady but they actually used her for the plot, like she was reluctantly spying on Mike. I wonder how they're gonna explain how the aunt got murdered tho...

#fnaf movie spoilers

[brigwife]

Children of the Red King, Midnight for Charlie Bone: Part Four

Continuation of my re-read!

(Just as a note, some of my commentary may come across as a bit derisive, but it is all meant to be in good humour. No slight towards the author is intented. I understand the book is for children, so adult characters won't always behave in ways you'd expect them to in real life. It's just... quite funny to read. :') )

Find it kind of weird that even Amy calls her own mother by her first name, but... oh well. Different strokes for different folks, I guess?

I'm sorry Dr Tolly, but this is fucked up. I don't care what the creepy people offer you, you don't trade your children. Not for money, not for power, not for knowledge. Poor little Emma ;A;

I am struggling to understand how he could have been so naïve, especially considering that he was supposed to be a doctor/inventor. But then, he does later say that he and Dr Bloor were friends growing up, so perhaps he was blinded to his creepy evil ways? I dunno, but the more I think about it, the more intruigued I am about their relationship, and the character of Dr Tolly himself. There's some real fanfic fodder here. I'm already picturing a beautiful, devestating Obi-wan and Anakin-style betrayal arc... and yep, I'm shipping it.

I love how painfully obvious it is even in the first book that the mysterious piano teacher being kept in the school by the people known for hypnotising people, is in fact Charlie's organ/piano playing father, who mysteriously disappeared. But okay, Charlie is ten. So we'll let him off making the connection lol.

The disastrous first date!! Oh my sweet, dumb Paton, surely you must have known something like this would happen. You really should have been honest up-front about your endowment. Bless Charlie's little heart though, telling him to get his shit together xD

STRANGER DANGER. Billy pls ;_;. I can't be too mad at you because you're a lonely traumatised 8 year-old orphan, but if a creepy fuckin 100 year old dude offers you hot chocolate and a chat, YOU RUN.

"Hey if you spy for us, we'll get you some nice parents!" There really are no limits these Bloors won't sink to to get what they want. So horrible and villianous, damn it. I actually can't remember if Ezekiel also has some powers of hypnotism/persuasion - though if he does they're clearly not as strong as Manfred's. Either way, poor Billy. It's hard to blame him here.

THIS. ASDSGFAGFDG. Possibly my favourite part of the book so far, because it's just sooo.. I'm sobbing. Who writes their 10 year-old kid a letter like this? Moreover, if Benjamin's parents are private detectives, why the heck don't they have suitable security for their child??? Don't tell me they wouldn't be able to afford that shit. Why are so many of the parents in this story such shitty human beings h e l p

Also, we know that the "nice lady from social services" is gonna be one of Charlie's dodgy great aunts, so I have to ask why these presumably extremely intelligent detectives didn't even bother to do a proper background check. Welp.

I wanna know more about this missing window cleaner tho. It sounds intruiging.

Awww Charlie trying to be a wingman. He's so sweet ;A;

The Gunns are literally just the Weasleys on musical steroids - right down to the bright hair, freckles, and apparent ignorance of the existence of birth control

I completely forgot the Fidelio's dad is bascially Tom fucking Bombadil. Damn.

#midnight for charlie bone #cotrk re-read #children of the red king #benjamin brown #fidelio gunn #amy bone #dr tolly #paton yewbeam #julia ingledew #billy raven #charlie bone #ezekiel bloor

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E3 "Context Is For Kings"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

Rated "mature" huh. [suspicious face] man seeing the starfleet symbol ugh man look outside its so pretty i love the colours i keep saying this but i looooove the colourssss ugh these effects are so are SOOO whoa nice suit on the pilot the filming style is odd in DISCO pacing wise rn still but whats cool is it no longer feels like that almost stagnant "another day in star trek" type feeling. everything feels very specialised episode by episode - very "limited series" - cuz it is. what ship is this it looks kinda like an idic pin from underneath NCC OH SHIT ITS THE SHIPPPPPP OHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKK THIS IS DISCOVERY?!!?!??!?!??! OH MFUCK ITS NAME IS AFTER A SHIP YEAH OK DUH BUT ALSO WHAT THE FUCK ugh this intro listen youll read this probably the next 50 times over how i just gawk at the everything that im eating right now with my eyeballs the Discovery ship has such an odd shape no but its literally IDIC the ship but also its SOOO cool to see the evolution of the ship designs until we land at the PERFECT ratio of NCC-1701 Enterprise.

fuck that just made me think - oh SHIT---

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who HO\ WHO WHO LEADS THIS SHIP WHO WHOOOOOOOOOO LEEEAAAAAAADS THHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS SHHSHSIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP whoa eyes with pretty reflection/not reflection nvm who is this????????? gabriel lorca? ok sry not to be underwhelmed but i am too eager its my fault alright mr. lorca - lets see what you about. i have never seen someone just eat fortune cookies like an everyday snack in a wooden bowl. discovery has a very interesting feeling, more..

door just shut in her face wow WHO ELSE IS ON THIS MASSIVE SHIP THOUGH NO NO NO ALSO ITS A FUCKING SCIENCE VESSEL. SCIENCE. VESSEL. SCIENCE. Whos this lady? aw she seems cute sylvia tilly? aw poor gal id shake her hand yo i like these beds mickey nah nahhh no thanks sylvia. sylvia. listen. dont be weird now. black alert. intersting what the hell ? its so PRETTY THOUGH whoaaaaa WHAOSSSS WHOAAA yeah no WHAT the hell IS going on on this ship please do tell??? new replicator hi saruuuu he is very fitting as first officer what are you eating? hahahahahhahha wow they nailed that one blueberries huh yeahhhh not me thinkin he eating larvae or somethin nope no sirrr i like the bowl hes eats from from though ugh hes so TALLLLL hes such a nice stick

idk why the title image of this show with burnham giving the vulcan salute only NOW is hitting me with its potential significance

fearing a black woman huh idk bruh come on now star trek not today bro not today

stamets why does this name sound familiar tf is this so fuckin weird though must we be so discriminatory tho lmao this stamets? whats this sparkle wahts happening stamets are you gay sir are you gay damn sir wonder what you gon do also burnham giving the vulcan brow ugh itll be so cool to have holographic text though? man how can we get that to work without a backlight of aerosol straal? straal and stamets. excuse me. ARE YALL LOVERS ??? ARE YALL A'LOVIN??? KISSY KISSY? YALL BOYFREEENNNNS??? lurkers lol ok. lurker such a fuckin nerdy word lmaooo stamets and straal huh. i got my EYES on you ew also give me that starfleet towel WHERE ARE YOU BURNHAM THIS LOOKS SO FUCKING BEUATIFUL OH MY GOD I HAVE ENVISIONED SOMETHING SO MUCH LIKE THIS ONBOARD STARFLEET SHIPS LIKE WE ALL HAVE OH MY GOD that put a chilll through my spine in a wonderful way

lorca has a mouth and rbf eyes like Homelander his face kind of reminds me of homelander lmaoo hi sylvia yall need to smile a bit mroe lol you better apologise the green screening is almost perfect but the border is still there the border of sylvias face against the greenscreen behidn the glass is too hard when its blue outside when irl the face woul have a light that really diffuses about the curfature of her face anwyays astromycologist fascinating. i like what hes talking about though tickles the science degree in me hahaha man what is this research im so curious what project is lorca up to? ugh so juicy im SOOO curious ugh shuttlepod looks fucking sexy. alright whos gonna die in here. whos the redshirt in this away party. whoaaa the mangling is nicee WHAT WAS THAT oml star trek horror though is SUCH a grand idea fuckkkk meeeee bruh this deadspace or what no lie i like the OG bat'leth design more of the blades splayed INWARDS than out

thats big bruh this is liteally deadspace its not gorn in here right lol its not right idk gorn gorn. gorn can do this right thats the first thing i thought when i saw any of this damage. sylvia you brave owowowoww NEVER MIND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT someone give me a star trek indie horror game RIGHT NOW DO IT ill fucking do it if no one does ill fucking DO IT. oop well guess we know who the redshirt is. broo the way their bodies are twisted like that is wickedddd i dont think ive seen bodies STRETCHED and wrung like a towel before stamets is so calm he dont give no fuck. stamets my man what have you BEEN through?

big space mole looks like a fuckin cow-size tardigrade JEFFERIES TUUUUUBEEE burnham's composure is crazy ugh she recitin what? it better not be another "literary classic" bullshit. this is literally a giant tardigrade. ugh look at the bridgee i love this shot from the outside in why it blurry at the end tho ay ooo who this freeza droid XD GIVE ME THOSE BOOTS YO i want my room to be the bridge oh my god if i had money id remodel my house and make my room the bridge the viewscreen would be my personal theatre fucking bigass monitor projection did I hear that--- TRI TRIBBBLEEEEE EAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT IS A FUCKINGGGG TRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ONNNNNNNNNNN HIIIIIIS DESSSSSSSSSSKKKKKKK they really are just having this conversation with a tribble just chillin on his desk son. i knew that sound anywhere oh my god GIVE ME ONE RIGHT NWO GIVE ME A BLACK ONE RIGHT NOW.

FUCK. bye tribbleee oooo in-ship transport what is this box what is the research what the fuck is happening. that is so pretty ohh intersting organic propulsion this is fascinaatingggg oh i really like this lorca has great delivery i BELIEVE in his role god the magic of masterful actors. love it WHOA THIS IS TOO FUCKING BEAUTLFUL NOOOOOO TAKE ME AWAYYYYY oh i love this pacing just now this whole scene was so good im so enamoured right now ugh its so nice to see creative cinematography why the tendrils on saru though what purpose do they serve wtf man wonder if we gon have more that typical star trek alien sexy-time lmaooooo ugh alice in wonderland really when we done with this shit :/ sylvia you wanna be captain? u know what - maybe you might be. if you dont die getting there. (you didnt hear that from me ahurghurghurgunrguhg-)

FOSTER FOSTER MOM AND HER SON??? YOU GREW UP WITH SPOCK????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK WHYYYYYYYYYY HOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU TELLIN ME BURNHAM IS KIRK'S SISTER IN LAW GET THE FUCK OUT

imn losin it whoa dead spcimens who whats in ITS THE GIANT TARDIGRADE sir you did this on purpose what you plannin lorca whats your grand design ughhh the scale of this ship though ugh EAT ME UP no i like that scene a lot though the one with cap lorca talking to burnham in the box - please intellectual star trek lore on mainstream play with modern techonological representation PLEASE oh im so intriguedddddddd.

bring it the fuck on.

kirk's sister in law, what even the fuck--

#star trek #star trek discovery #discovery #DISCO #nutrek #thoughts #text #reaction #almalvo

[cacklingblobbittyrabbitty]

super unhinged rainbow magic post 8 of 12

Ok me and the pal were making this at about 9pm which is late for us considering we’d been studying all day and it shows. We’re having unhinged and frequently louder opinions, and here is where our tiny lil brains go into overdrive and begin the Headcanons. Brace yourselves.

DANCE FAIRIES

a couple generic points before we begin - all these ladies Understood The Assignment. There are no fuckin necklaces (FINALLY). Also, these bitches gay! Good for them!

Also honourable mention to Shona the Scottish Country Dancing Fairy, never published but never forgotten

Bethany She looks like a bit of a bitch but apart from that I’m not getting any personality here The outfit is on point - tutu is cute, leotard is cute (chest cinching is so accurate it hurts) She isn’t wearing pointe shoes! WHY IS SHE ON POINTE THEN THIS IS DANGEROUS Legwarmers!!!! Accurate!!!! but should also be wearing cardigans tho Adequately petite as the ballet world demands Her hand position is not correct but her head position is HEADCANONS:

Bethany is a closeted lesbian, she loses a major role to someone else in the company (homoerotic rivalry that takes over Bethany's life), she has a breakdown at the age of 26 and a quarter-life gay crisis. She shoves herself violently back in the closet, which is tied to the toxicity of the heterosexual dancing life - super ironic because like nearly everyone is gay but everything’s a secret. Then Bethany is forced to retire because of mental health/physical health issues (probably from fucking pointe shoes or the lack thereof), so she moves to a small town and opens a laidback dance studio for cute lil kids (baby ballet!) She then falls in love with the aunt of one of the kids who’s the costume designer, when she’s gluing glitter on a costume for a recital. This costume designer is a punk because SHE WAS A PUNK SHE DID BALLET WHAT MORE CAN WE SAY

Jade OMG she’s Rocking That Shit! NO notes She has the 70s hair and it is OUTSTANDING She has face paint of a green star! Iconic! We stan Everything is working so well yessss -  low waist groovy flares, chunky wristbands, party top halter neck The shoes are sliders but heeled which idk is sus Life of the party Jade! She’s a popular girl who’s actually nice, just look at her you know she has massive personality

Rebecca The lil shoes and socks! (heart eyes) Finally the motif is cool! She’s got records! The skirt is just so perfect (polka dots!!!) You can see her dancing! She has movement! The scarfffffff is so beautiful Scoop-neck 3-quarter length sleeved top! Could be darker but i love it anyway! We’re letting it slide! We’re petty so this is big for us! She has a personality! Severe fringe and high pony is so iconic (we’ll overlook the volume issue in the hair) She’s swished, no notes

Tasha Holy fuck we are getting FED TODAY She’s bisexual, no notes The bows on her shoes are adorable! Even though we think tap shoes ought to be the traditional black and white ones but other than that she’s good Re. the waistcoat cropped sleeveless collared corset looking thing: how does she manage to pull off such chaos so well? Answer: disaster bi Skirt and leggings combo coming BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR THE CANEEEEEEEEEEEEE WE LOVE A PROP (side note: is this the first prop that’s not a living creature?) The HAAAAAIR - this is what avril lavigne wanted to look like, Tasha could be a skater girl Enormous top energy (it’s the cane and pose and look and smirk) and yes we would

Jessica I have those exact shoes but in black so she’s got taste We appreciate the merging of the 1920s flapper and the 2000s energy but lmaoo what are the belt, the neckline, and the shoulder straps doing with themselves  The boa is INSPIRED even if it does make her pose look a bit fucked up - bitch needs some physio stat Marilyn Monroe is that you? If so congrats on the lesbian energy They’ve finally cracked the blonde hair! Give your warm blonde fairies pink-toned skin for the love of god

Saskia (or Serena i guess but Saskia is a way cooler name ngl) Most important thing first: FRECKLESSSSSSS Hair needs to be shifted to the left slightly but other than that it’s a really gorgeous hairdo - a little too much shine but at this point the fairies are singlehandedly shooting herbal essences’ profits sky-high The colour-grading on the outfit is delightful and perfect, the sleeves and the skirt are beautifully complimentary Fire motif for bad bitches! The heels are not high enough though, we want you to give this bitch some ankle issues - that being said, you KNOW she’s the woman who can run in stilettos She is SO intense everything is cranked up to 11 at all times and honestly? Good for her!

Imogen  Skirt looks like ice crystals! We like it! But we do wish there wasn’t such a harsh waistline - i want continuation (e.g. the lines go up and then spread out into crystals) Crystals at the neckline are niiice but we don’t want the little spaghetti strap thanks just tape it down Half up half down hairstyle is beautiful - it hits her in the face when she spins but she’s dealing, girl is a performer, the show must go on. And she IS the show Hair and outfit FINALLY complement each other, well done for having the best blonde hair yet - also her boots are to DIE FOR She winking! She cheeky! You think she’s gonna be aloof but she’s so friendly

HEADCANONS: Gay and out babey Fuck the heteronormativity of figure skating man - she has a male partner and they’re best mates, but she also has a female partner (not allowed to compete internationally yet but they’re rioting)

#rainbow magic #rainbow magic fairies #dance fairies

[joyful-soul-collector]

Lovecraft Country Episode 1

My dad told me I'd love this show and I got nothin else better to do rn so let's fakkin GO

Oh wow there's a lot happening

Jackie Robinson just cut Cthulu in half with a baseball bat

OH ITS A DREAM okay that makes much more sense

Looks like this is the 40s or 50s? Idk my years very well, but segregation is a thing for sure (future Marko here, it's the 50s)

Aw man they gotta walk? That sucks

"Stories are like people. Loving them doesn't make them perfect. You just try and cherish them, overlook their flaws" GODDAMN I love that. I don't agree with overlooking their flaws (both in stories and people), but I understand the meaning and I love it so much

Father's gone missing womp womp

Hippolyta, that's a cool name, imma steal it

I gotta say Atticus is a very pretty man. I didn't see it as much when Johnathan Majors played Kang in Loki (mainly because he wasn't there for long I think), but he is v pretty

Oooh secret legacy?? Mysterious letters??? V interesting...

Oop dude literally in the middle of a BJ and just talks to Atticus like he wasn't A Bit Busy just then

Ooh those two sing well!

Fuck yeah bust open that hydrant

Oof I guess Leti isn't as close to her sister as I thought

Oh damn she drew a grim reaper right over where they need to go lol

Damn Atticus is probably so smart with all those books, if people weren't so damn racist maybe he wouldn't have had to join the army to move out, he could've been a writer or somethin

Oop there's a hole in the wall. Bet that's a fun memory...

Bruh who tf did he call in South Korea???

Oh gross, the monkey noises.... hate seeing how people act towards them

Bruh this red car is fuckin banger look at the wood?? If old cars like that weren't so unsafe I would love to drive one

Oh jeez I hope this diner isn't too awful an experience...

Oh my god what in the fuck is happening

LETITIA FUCKIN LEWIS

WAIT THAT'S THE CAR THEY SAID HIS DAD WAS DRIVING THE FANCY SILVER CAR

WAIT WHAT THE HELL DID THE TRUCK HIT??

WHO'S THIS RANDOM WHITE LADY

Okay so the diner was definitely a terrible experience. Love how smart Atticus is tho, he figured that shit out quick

This little girl is so creative I love her drawings

Sounds like Leti's mom wasn't the best to her, but her family never saw that so they're mad she didn't go to the funeral

Oof that's a rough fight to have, the one between Atticus and his dad. I understand why his father would be upset at Atticus for joining the army, but I also understand Atticus too. He views his country the way he does stories. "You just try and cherish them, overlook their flaws"

Dad and George's parents were shit, so then his Dad was shit, and George feels like he didn't protect his brother or Atticus enough. Oh the cycle of abuse ever turns...

Devon countyyyyy that's the one with the grim reaper on it

Aw fuck is that a cop

Nooooo fuck fuck fuck

FUCK ITS THAT SHERRIF THAT'S MURDERS PEOPLE

SUNDOWN TOWN FUCKIN FUCK

Oh you motherFUCKER

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

Oh mgod that was fucking terrifying

GODDAMNIT NO FUCK

HOLY SHIT WTF IS THAT

GO LETI YOU CAN DO IT

Fuuuuuck this guy is turning into a monster....

The flaaaaares v nice

Bruh why you guys walking did she total the car??

THERE IT IS THERE'S THE SILVER CAR

UHHH?? "WELCOME HOME"???

Ok so that was uhhh fucking amazing? The mystery, the monsters, the awesome characters, the struggles with racism juxtaposed with the science-fiction struggles, FUCK this is set up so damn well?? Goddamn okay I'm gonna proofread and post this and then imma watch the next one cuz I can't fuckin WAIT

#lovecraft country #letitia lewis #atticus freeman #george freeman #marko reacts

[butmakeitgayblog]

preggy mbfw Lexa oh my heart 🥹

Poor Lexa being just a little terrified of pregnancy because she's a rather petite lady and honestly the thought of caring a bowling ball sized human around inside it is fuckin daunting. Not to mention the whole squeezing it out thing. Whew. She wants to, she really does, and she's excited when they make the appointments and go through all the hoops to get it done, but a lot of time leading up to it is still spent in bed just the two of them, Lexa's head on Clarke's chest as Clarke runs her fingers through Lexa's hair as Clarke assures her that if anyone can do it, Lexa can. Thinking up stuff they wanna teach their baby. Making up wild futures their kid may have. Making jokes about what in the world they'll do if Lexa's boobs manage to get bigger than Clarke's 🥴

Then of course Lexa does get pregnant insanely easily because, as Clarke so eloquently puts it through a tear-filled and slightly snot dripping smile, "Jesus, Woods, always an overachiever." And it's surreal and it's stupid because the little bellybean is barely more than a cluster of cells at that point, but it's like Lexa feels like she can feel it... She concedes it may just be gas tho... Regardless, Lexa had spent so much time praying and worrying and wanting so badly to do this and give this gift to Clarke and herself that its like a switch flips. She's still the same person but somehow she feels stronger. More alive. More settled. More terrified. More at peace.

The sheer months of having to deal with Clarke's smugness and oversharing with anyone who will listen and jokes about her, quote, 'bisexual pregnancy inducing prowess' that grow just a little bit thin with each passing trimester and new wave of hormones aren't ideal tho.

But by the time Lexa's reduced to being a waddling, duck footed woman on the edge, she also notices all at once exactly how much everything has changed in 9 short months (that don't feel that goddamn short, as she reminds Clarke regularly). Because where her wife's convertible used to sit in the garage now sits a luxury SUV with twin sunroofs and enough room for a family of 6. The very nice collection of wine that used to take up pantry space now sits forgotten in the basement wine racks, replaced by formula and bottle warmers and a collection of feeding cloths. She just wakes up one day to strange men dotted around their house, barely sparing her more than a nod as they go about babyproofing everything, while her wife quietly puts the finishing touches on the mural she insisted on painting herself in the guestroom-turned-nursery.

Somewhere during the endless days of back pain and the midnight cravings for junk food, crying for no reason, and wanting the filthiest sex of her life (sometimes all four at once), her party girl best friend and love of her life had turned into a little baby prepping machine.

#anon #MBFW

[redabeliz]

Ok so I started watching Game of Thrones for the first time in my life 4 days ago and accidentally binged it here's my opinions on characters so far (finished s2) unfiltered by The Fandom

Ned - was a great man, I feel so complicated abt his relationship with Cat and his unknown relationship with Jon's mom cuz the way he gets a far away look when talking abt her to Robert makes it feel like he is either super guilty abt it or he cared for her much more than he ever cared for Cat. Bro was so dumb for trying to save Cersei and her bastard kids. Myrcella and Tommen seem nice enough but two nice incest babies doesn't make the one that's killing the entirety of Westeros any better

Cat - so cool love love love, I hate how she doesn't have much agency and when she does it's to release Jaime??? I should probably rewatch the episode tho bc I'm watching the show at work (13hr shifts so I walk away a lot without pausing and get spoiled before rewinding) bc i just dont understand her thought process. I feel so terrible that she doesn't even know if any of her kids besides Robb are alive but freeing Jaime is NOT gonna help imo

Robb - every time I look at him I think abt how similar he looks to Jon like they could be twins dude. He needs to quit having a relationship w that one nurse girl cuz this is war and the only thing that comes from showing the world that you love someone BEFORE YOU WIN is that they need to kill her. Idk how they're gonna do it but she's gonna die. But he's doing so well as the leader of winterfell and I love how Sean Bean lives on in the show and everything he did had meaning and his death wasn't for nothing. Anyways Robb's gonna be a great king but he's totally probably gonna get fucked over by David Bradley and/or his millions of kids

Jon - pretty boring storyline I'm sad to say. It feels soooo slow when he gets on screen. The baby thing was interesting and so is the Pale Man (I'm sure he has a scary name but I wasn't paying attention too well). He IS an interesting character at least his backstory I mean and in relation to Ned and Cat

Sansa - poor sweet girl I cry for her everytime she's on screen can't somebody save her she's like 13 Cersei let her freeeeee. Her actress is so good btw, I really didn't like how she had a crush on Joffrey so quickly but she paid for it when Lady died and continues to pay for having a silly innocent little school girl crush on the worst person to ever be born

Arya - her storyline is the most stressful, like she has a higher chance of dying than anyone else in her family. I do hope her and Gendry can be friends, he already seems like an older brother to her just like assassin guy

Bran & Rickon - I forgot rickon existed a lot. I actually forgot if Bran got his memory back, not like it matters since everyone knows Cersei and Jaime be fuckin. Anyways I'm sure Bran's gonna walk again due to magic or whatever idk why the First One girl is helping him instead of abandoning them too I got soooo stressed when I thought Bran and Rickon died that I didn't realize the farmers kids had died

Theon - rn I wanna shake him around cuz tf bro why would you burn and hang the dead bodies of ANYONE. I have a very black and white way of seeing things so I cannot ever forgive him for the kids sakes and a couple measly gold coins isn't gonna bring the kids back. I really don't care for him or his storyline anymore I thought he was funny with his "Oh I'm such an alpha male, women should fall at my feet cuz imma be king of the world!" Only to get thrown into reality when his sister has more of a right to the throne than he does

Robert - bro should've never gone hunting istg so much would've helped if he survived AND I THINK ACTUALLY THAT THAT OLD MAN DIDNT TREAT HIS WOUNDS SINCE HE PLEDGED AN OATHE TO TYWIN LANNISTER AND SOLD OUT ARYS ROBERT AND TYRION

Cersei - someone said she thinks in the BIG big picture and that doesn't make sense bc shes going out of her way to try and save Jaime from the Starks while trying to deny accusations of their incest. In a way her being such a terrible person makes me like Jaime because of the fact I doubt it was his idea to never interact with those kids. I keep forgetting their his kids too bc of the fact he's never around them or talks to them. Also her killing Jon Arryn was so stupid.

Joffrey - I saw a video on tiktok abt "the kind of person who watches the show from the wrong side" where the guy loves Joffrey and everything he does BEFORE I got to the part where he abused the two sex workers and ran away from a war he caused

Tyrion - he deserves happiness but Shae deserves to be free and now that Cersei is sus of her she's in so much danger. I don't think theyre gonna last and I'm gonna be so sad. I sincerely can't tell if Shae likes him or not and I feel like he's being suuuuper toxic by locking her up when he could've just let her be. When wartime came I was so impressed by him he was so cool. Truly one of the only good, if not THE best Lannister.

Brienne of Tarth - 🫰🫂🤌🗣❤️‍🔥💏🧎💞🙇🫦💘💌💋🫶💝😘🤩🥰😍🤗😚 pls notice me and all I could do for you, Queen

[wellfine]

I just read your "Franky doesn't swear until he does" comic and I Need to know: what are your straw hat crew swearing headcanons?

LMAO I feel like we've come full-circle because I made that stuff in response to a thread of Straw Hat swearing headcanons I made on Twitter!

Here's a link to the Twitter thread, but I'll repost it here anyway:

- Luffy: He swears when it occurs to him which isn't that often so it always takes ppl out. Is totally unfazed by swearing. Probably went thru a phase of swearing to "look tough" around the age he hung out with Shanks - Zoro: Swears a normal amount - Nami: Has kind of a foul mouth which she keeps trying to curb because she wants to maintain her "cute and harmless" public persona for fun and profit but it gets utterly shattered whenever she finds out how much damage the SHs have caused. So much so the marines have it on file - Usopp: Is largely unfazed by swearing BUT doesn't do it that often because Kaya used to tell him off for it so now he has a "mind your profamity" kneejerk reaction. The type to say "flippin", "freakin", "heck" etc and get mildly teased for it - Sanji: have you met him? He swears like someone with something to compensate for. Uses swearing like cigarettes and suits to look tough and grown up but just sounds like the barely-adult he is. - Chopper: Inverse of Usopp, tries to act like he can swear like Kureha but is shocked by others swearing LOL - Robin: She rarely swears because her typical manner of speaking is more psychologically damaging anyway but when she does it's always like... toe-curlingly explicit - Franky: (hitting you with a newspaper) NO! SWEARIN'! IN! KOKORO'S! HOUSE! 100% he says things like "sugar" instead of shit, some of them can get really long and funny. Doesn't even like to blaspheme. Bit of a stickler for the others, too, at least in the presence of momly-figures. Nami blew his wig off first time he properly met her. Mostly I just think it's funny for the big crime boss of the Franky Family to be like AHT AHT!!! watch yer language there are ladies present kiwi and mozu: yeah there's two fuckin ladies here He lets choppy swear when something goes wrong as a big-boy treat, though. whisper it - Brook: It does not occur to him to swear and when he's prompted he can rattle off a bunch of funny, old-timey insults that aren't used any more and their meanings. But when pressed he'd say he only wants to utter nice things when there are people here to hear him, now. - Jinbe: You never hear him swear so you just assume he doesn’t because he’s too Honourable or whatever ... but when he does, you know it’s BIG. Like you-just-messed-up big, or this-is-bad big, or he’s-REALLY-in-pain-big. But occasionally he just lets one slip bc of Luffy LOL

From the replies:

- Vivi: I think she probably feels like there are more diplomatic ways to get her point across!! I don’t think she likes to use argumentative language at all so I don’t think she swears at other people. I bet Nami has caught her streaking it up blue when she thought she was alone tho LOL If anything I think Vivi encouraged the crew to swear less. Based on her childhood she already had a pocketful of curses ready to bust out when needed, she didn’t need any pirate influence there LOL

#one piece #one piece headcanons

[nochiquinn]

legend of vox machina episode 6: spark of rebellion OR [googles] how to get percy not to do the thing

someone suggested Bryn might be Ripley in disguise and I've been staring obsessively at her hands ever since

what in the attack on titan

rip eyepatch matt

also hi merry

hi darin, SOMEHOW

like it's the same general pitch as his reinhardt, but then he does That to it

and then he turns around and breaks my heart as sprigg, what is this man

the crows eating the hanging people, realistic but still upsetting

"what, 'cause we all fuckin' know each other?" "I mean, yeah"

her design makes me think of fma

I think it's the nose and the headkerchief

gina torres!

I need to know if those crows were taliesin

did they remove the stuff about the lawbearer/erathis? like just to streamline it?

like I totally understand, there's enough going on here without having an expansive pantheon to engage with, but erathis is one of my favorite deity concepts so I am a little sad

goddess of Get Ur Shit Together Or So Help Me

"little percival, what have you become?" "I am what they made me."

technically you're what orthax made you but he's feeding off your whole revenge thing so eh

oh god he's anders and orthax is justice

nobody let him near any chantries

"I thought we were all sort of co-leaders"

the old man and his lil bird

poor grog

those poor mice, that was their house

matt's original map of whitestone

vax: found the sidequest

percy: I'm experiencing an emotion, disgusting

but what is the sun tree's voice. give us the tree voice.

"FOR THE ALE!" it's nice that he's motivated, anyway

"ooh, I could get a beret!" I wonder what the "No ReAl-LiFe ReFeReNcEs" people thought of THAT one

"our holy person is...elsewhere" ;-;

love the little spray of hair coming off of pike's bun

my partner and mala said At Dawn We Plan at the same point in completely different, unrelated viewings

love the direction critrole recap animated is taking

"those were bad ideas and you should all feel bad"

the trailer had scanlan on a roof looking beat to shit, if we don't get scanbo I will RIOT

bad news BAD NEWS

the scope tho

percy clinging to a (frankly unstable-looking) steeple. coat flowing in the wind. sniper rifle. I am being directly targeted.

the little shimmery noise the bag of holding makes

[wrestling chant] split the par-ty

THE DOOR™

"I'm going to find a window"

"I fell out of the window.

love this music during the breakout scene

"I'm telling you that back door was cursed"

someone called scanlan this season's damsel in distress and they're absolutely correct

stonefell : using the guard as a shield :: ken ichijouchi : literally kicking a puppy

scanlan's little magic hand block

rip fma lady

MINXIE

UGH the transformation animation, I will shut up about it when it stops being amazing

grog got his ale, mission success

grog (travis) what was that yell

the development of cock lightning

stonefell's name burning on the List as orthax takes over percy's self-control

the glasses flare! the transistion to the mask! the drama of it all!

(affectionate)

"let me say...you were the one I was least looking forward to"

"I wanted you to know it was me."

I liked the manic panic attack energy of him literally scraping the name off the barrel of the gun but him still not being 100% in control and aiming at vax is an acceptable substitute

WITH the finger still on the trigger

the others not still being entirely used to No Mercy Percy

"your sister, cassandra. she lives." percy's FACE

I'm glad scanlan's "OI" verbal tic made it in

even if the subtitles can't agree on how to spell it

"grog! toss the booze!" "aw, but I just got it!"

the CG rendered barrel

"I have a sister."

I deeply loved him saying that to vax in the stream, just a little hopeful note at the end of a deep rp conversation, but I'm glad it made it in at all.

it just makes him sound so young, the first bit of hope he's had in five years, the first hint that maybe something besides death can come out of all of this

he's gonna get kicked in the teeth in the next set of episodes, but it's nice for now

showing the "sets" in the credits always makes me think of matt's "I built the whole city bc I didn't know where you'd go"

grey griffin is also credited as "rahlia" but I have no idea who that is and googling has given me nothing. who is the mystery character.

#the legend of vox machina #critical role #spoilers #crititag #liveblog #reaction post #lovmtag #the mock title is from when I was trying to look up the 'get anders' meme #and it autofilled 'how to get anders not to do the thing'

[simeonisalesbian]

Holy frackin- whoever suggested female demon bros ily. 😳 As someone who is bi I still crush on them (but I want to see them as girls just once to make my heart really go ba-dump ba-dump)

Can I ask for general headcanons on life with the demon girls after the potion drank? (And cuddle headcanons cause your Belphie one made my heart melt)

Aasdfghjksdassgdf yall are feding me too much with these asks. I am but a simple lesbian who wants all the cuddles🥺👉👈

Lucifer:

Proper lady Lucifer. Absolute Girlboss Lucifer

She’s still just as busy as always doing whatever work it is that keeps piling up.

Will happily let you sit on her lap while she works tho. She’s a sucker for the comfort you bring her, don't let her damn pride otherwise.

If you fall asleep with your head on her chest while she’s working, you’ll probably wake up in her bed still held close to her chest.

Mammon:

Rants about how much more cash she could make modeling like this. Also She could probably find ways to cheat at gambling like this

This being said Mammon will now steal half your closet for herself.

“Mammon, how do you have five of my hoodies? It's barely even been 24 hrs!”

Watch a scary movie with her. She’ll be in your lap in .5 seconds with her face buried in your chest.

You’ll have to cuddle her for the rest of the night though. Ya know so she can protect ya and all that.

Leviathan:

Gamer gf Gamer gf Gamer gf Gamer gf ga-

Cuddles while gaming You’ll have to make the first move so it really is up to you whether you want Levi in your lap or vice versa

She’ll become a blushing stuttering mess but will relax soon enough just to give her a bit of reassurance.

This is also a surefire way to win any game against her.

Satan:

We love a dark academia queen.

Loves to sit with you while you both read. Or she read to you. It doesn't really matter. The avatar of wrath is a sucker for domestic romance at heart.

She really does love having you in her arms and will often nuzzle the top of your head. Just let her hold you and she’s purring.

She’ll often hug you from behind. Especially if Lucifer is in the room

Asmodeus:

Asmodeus is another one who will steal your wardrobe but she also gives you permission to take stuff from hers so it’s even

Matching outfits for you two will be bought. It’s not optional. The two of you will be the cutest duo in the whole devildom.

You know the one meme of the girl sitting on top of another girl doing her makeup yeah that's asmo and MC

Will purposely put your face on her breasts when hugging or cuddling. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Beelzebub:

Big tiddy strong gf

The image of Beel just standing behind mc and resting her boobs on a short MC’s head is living rent free in my mind…

Strong lady beel working out at gym 🥵

She’s the best pillow when cuddling. She’ll hug you close to her chest and she’s just so very warm and soft.

Belphegor:

She’s still just a sleepy brat.

But cuddles are so fuckin nice so the brattiness cancels out lmao

The two of you will have to fight on who gets to lay on top of who.

Belphie will win anytime she actually wants to lay on you, but will still fight over it even if she wants your head on her chest.

Play with her hair while she’s sleeping and she’ll practically purr.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me genderbend

[guqin-and-flute]

The Soup Incident [Episode 22]

Random Jin Guy: hey u know ur sister

WWX: everyone's mom? best person in the world? beset by terminal heterosexuality? rings a bell

LWJ: i'm sure this is more important than a war

Random Jin Guy: something happened with j

WWX: [overrunning other line] I MUST GO MY MEDDLING IS REQUIRED

Random Nie Guy: oop there he go

LWJ: wow this sounds serious

WWX: what horrors will i find what trauma will this compound what cruelty will i be met with also how did i know exactly where to go

WWX: OH. YOU.

JZX: gross

JYL: oh an audience perfect i'm sure this will de-escalate things

WWX: can we solve this with castration? tell me we can

JYL: no thanks i'd still like the option if it's all the same to u

WWX: it's not let me remove his body parts

JZX: like i'd let u near me u classless hellion

JYL: listen life hasn't been like the greatest lately had a lot of shitty carriage rides i'd like things to chill out and by things i mean namely u in this moment can we go now pls i have an appointment to cry into my pillow that i'm missing

WWX: omg noooo i'll behave i'm here to support u i'll be impartial

JYL: i don't believe that for a single second tho hun

WWX: impartial to how mUCH BLOOD I'M GONNA GET EVERYWHERE HOW IS IT  EVERY TIME I SEE UR STUPID FACE I HATE U MORE fuck u u piece o shit

JYL: and there it is

JZX: [angry sleeve flap of disdainful eloquence]

WWX: wtf

JYL: yeah he's good at those

JYL: honey ur not helping urself here he beat the shit out of u BEFORE he marinated in dark energy for 3 months pls use ur words and ur brain

WWX: WAT DID UR SLEEVE SAY TO ME BITCH

JYL: can we just go pls i like to not be reminded of exactly how much stupid i willingly allow into my life

WWX: but shijie M U R D E R

JYL: inexplicably i still want to marry him so no thank u

JZX: oh look mianmian's here

MM: u fuckin bet i am u dipshit

WWX: wtaf is wrong with him

MM: ok listen LISTEN i know i feel u trust me

JZX: time to return to the arrogance corner

WWX: UR YOUNG MASTER'S A BITCH

JYL: a-xian  n o

MM: no he totally is u right

JYL: well then he's MY bitch :(

MM: why do i bother to stay up late to practice conversations with u if u don't bother to try all that time wasted am i supposed to cover for u now?

JZX: bold of u to assume u can but go for it still don't know why tf ur all here just wanna eat my soup

WWX: HEY I HAVE A FUN GAME IT'S CALLED HOW MUCH OF CHENQING CAN WE FIT INTO JIN ZIXUAN quick someone pick an orifice

JYL: gross

MM: tempting

LWJ: oh hey i'm here now i walk slow oh shit the nice jiang is crying who would hurt the nice jiang?

MM: ok so u know how ur sister makes soup?

JYL: i never really stop it's a little pathological at this point maybe i should talk to someone...

LWJ: oh more heterosexual antics wei ying's achilles heel best wait outside thank god Xichen is mostly functional and gay as the day is long

MM: so she makes soup right? 2 goes to you chuckleheads and the third goes to emporer perpetual foot-in-mouth over here

JZX: [buffering]

MM: jfc why do i even try

WWX: DID HE INSULT UR  S O U P ?!

JYL: sorta i am soup and soup is me

MM: so anyway

JZX: [overrunning previous line] HOLD UP I THOUGHT RANDOM SERVANT NUMBER 62 BROUGHT ME THE SOUP THAT'S NATIVE TO YUNGMENG WHERE MY EX-FIANCE GREW UP

WWX: ur in love with an idiot

JYL: i'm in love with an idiot

MM: I STG UR HEAD IS FILLED WITH JUST HAIRBALLS AND LINT HOW ARE U STILL BREATHING

MM: SHE MAKES SOUP. SHE'S THE SOUP LADY. ASK PEOPLE WHAT THEY THINK OF  WHEN U SAY YANLI AND THEY'LL SAY KINDNESS. A N D  S O U P . and her murder-brothers but that's not the point rn

JZX: ...u made me soup

MM: i'm so fucking sorry pls marry him i need a competent woman to hang around with i'm getting dumber by the day

WWX: seriously this guy u love this guy?

JYL: xianxian pls romantic idiocy runs in our family it's practically traditional

JYL: i mean...yes i have 2 coping mechanisms; soup and crying neither of them are working rn tho help i don't unlock righteous fury until level 25

JZX: wow she made me soup

WWX: of course she made u soup  u human inner-thigh chafe show us the flashback mianmian

MM: [off screen] oh yeah that roll the tape jeeves

[ENTER FLASHBACK]

JYL: i made u soup bb

JZX: ur not servant number 62 go fuck urself

JYL: wut

[END FLASHBACK]

WWX: NO FURTHER QUESTIONS UR HONOR

Random Jin Guy Who Brought Wuxian: perhaps this was a [cursive writing] Mistake™

JZX: ouchie i can twirly fight countless puppets can't dodge a punch of the life of me cultivation jesus that's gonna leave a mark

JYL: GOD I WISH THIS WAS MORE CATHARTIC how does this always happen? who raised this kid? oh right me

Group of Random Jin Guards: we are all well intentioned but ultimately expendable extras fear us

Random Jin Guard: UNHAND HIM FIEND

WWX: cool imma write u a song it's called Don't Care Didn't Ask Gonna Kill Everyone In This Tent Over Soup in b flat tootly toot here comes the murder flute

Random Jin Guards attacked by resentful energy: [keyboard smash]

LWJ: wait hold on that's his shit starting music has shit been started?? wEi YiNg

WWX: are u prepared for the journey i'm about to send u on little man

JZX: i'm actually good here thanks

[unintelligible teenage screaming]

MM: HEY LISTEN U CAN'T DO THAT MURDER IS BAD and i still like him i sympathize but like...u can't

WWX: the semi corporeal black smoke demons that sublet my soul tell me that it's fine sooo

JYL: a-xian if u kill him now i will have put up with so much bs for n o t h i n g

LWJ: take a deep breath us ur words what in the actual hell is going on

WWX: fuck u ur not my therapist

LWJ: u do not have a therapist never has someone so clearly NOT had a therapist except maybe jiang cheng

WWX: SOUP MURDER IS GOING ON

LWJ: wut

JYL: pls understand it's just as dumb as you think

LWJ: ... i refuse to let soup related crimes of passion be something my future husband is known for u stop that

WWX: THEN I'M LEAVING

LWJ: wow

JYL: we're both in love with idiots

JZX: am i still gonna keep getting soup?

[this is a thing i do sometimes so if you would like to see more...]

Scene suggested by @nagisachan1​!! (I’m so sorry I forgot to tag/credit you when I posted this!)

#my stuff #cql crack #has the word soup lost its meaning for anyone else yet? #the transcript for this is saved under 'i'm at soup.docx' #brief summary #not so brief #oh well #I swear i'm working on the episode 4 one it's giving me HASSLES #please ignore the fact that I spelled emperor wrong i do that about half the time anyway #my edit

[theworldofotps]

Smug (NSFW)

Pairing: Jordan Devlin x Reader Word Count: 1,382 Description: Jordan is a smug little fuck who loves to compete with you.

Warning: 18+ only, riding, smut Requested by @writtingrose an idea she and @new-zealand-chic had! I truly hope you ladies like this, I did my best to hurt your feels so enjoy! _____________ Tag list: @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @writtingrose​ @omg-im-such-a-masochist​ @sjwrites22​ @sassymox​ @new-zealand-chic​ @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk​ @xladyxfatex​ @biforrollynch​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29​ @lilred91​ @xbreezymeadowsx​ @rebellious-desires​ @youcantreignonmyparade​ @melblacc​  @letsgivethisonemoreshot​ @alination​ @ava-valerie​​  @shortyiceheart​ @serpantscorpio8497​​ @thatpanpal​​ If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ______________

If anyone on this earth was a pro at being competitive it’s your boyfriend Jordan fuckin Devlin. The asshole always wanted to challenge you on everything. Who could lift more, who could run the fastest, who could hold their breath the longest in the shower. A majority of your relationship was him wanting to compete against you. 

The only combination worse then Jordan being competitive was him being competitive and cocky when it came to sexual things. You once made a bet that he couldn’t make you cum with only his fingers in ten minutes. The cocky fuck got you off in three. 

This morning was no different. 

“Baby? I know you have some emails to answer but would you spot me for a bit please? I want to get some lifting in.”

“Sure babe give me a moment and I’ll be right there.”

You smile, saving the document you were working on and shutting your computer off. Getting out of bed you adjusted the shirt you were wearing and made your way down to the small home gym you had. Jordan usually went out with the boys to workout but occasionally just wanted to stay home especially on his days off. 

Getting a towel for him you open the door and flick on the light, walking down stairs and setting it on a bench. Humming quietly you wait for Jordan to make his way down and when he finally does you take his phone and water bottle setting it beside his towel. 

“Okay so what do you need me to do?”

“If you could pick a playlist while I warm up first that would be great love.” 

Jordan smiles as he begins stretching out his body and warming up. Grabbing his phone you go to Spotify and click on one of the workout playlists he had. Sitting down you turn your attention back to your boyfriend. Watching as he stretched out each part of his body you couldn’t help but gawk. He was stunning to look at and when his gym shorts tightened as he bent over you could practically swoon. 

Jordan oblivious to your slowly creeping thoughts pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it over on the bench. Making his way over to the bench press he motions for you to come over. After getting in position he starts his workout. 

As time went on, your thoughts got progressively hornier. When Jordan finished his last set you were desperate to leave and go take a cold shower. 

“Ready to head up baby?” 

“Not yet I wanna lay here on the floor and rest for a few minutes, stay with me tho please? I just wanna chat with my lass.”

“Sure love no problem.” 

Jordan winks at you as he stretches out his chest slowly rising and falling. Your eyes drifted over every muscle taking in the details. You could see faint scars from matches, the barely there one below his navel from a botched move. 

“Enjoying the free show, love?”

 Ah there it was that smirk on his face that had your stomach doing flips and your thighs pressed together.

“Just admiring is all.”

“More like eye fuckin me like you’ve been doing the whole time we’ve been down here.”

“What?”

“Don’t act innocent princess, I always know when your gaze is on me.”

“I think your ego is inflated, where else was I supposed to look?” 

“Don’t be shy. I enjoy it makes me feel good knowing no other person has captured your fancy like the Irish Ace.” 

“Yeah yeah if you say so.”

You tried brushing him off which was a huge mistake on your part as soon as that wicked gleam filled his eyes.

“Ohh trying to act all tough like my words aren’t true.”

Then he chuckled. The kind that sent goosebumps across your flesh and made your insides quiver. Jordan grabs your hand quickly pulling you down on top of him. His fingers digging slightly into the exposed flesh of your hips. You landed right on his quickly growing erection, and barely managed to bite back a man.

“Why don’t we just see if I’m right?” 

Before you could speak Jordan lifted your hips pulling your shorts and panties off making you wait on your knees. Pulling his own shorts down you gasp seeing he had nothing else on. 

“Fuck love you’re dripping went.” 

Jordan groans swiping a finger along your sex collecting the wetness, sticking the finger in his mouth he sucks it clean. Stroking his cock a few times he guilds it to your folds and teases the opening. 

“Beg.”

“Babe come on.”

“I won’t repeat myself a third time, love. Beg for my cock or I’ll leave you here right now.” 

Whining you nod your head bracing your hands on his chest and slowly grinding yourself against him.

“Please baby, please fuck me. Let me ride you so good plea.”

Your begging was cut off by a moan as Jordan slid into you in one motion. Smirking Jordan looks into your eyes and he lifts your lips up then let’s you fall back into his cock. Another moan leaving you.

“Not so tough now huh princess?”

The smug pleased smile on Jordan’s face at your almost immediate reaction was enough to make your cunt clench.

“Fuuck you feel so good.”

“That’s right, moan loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Let everyone know whose pussy this is.”

Rising up you sink back down again, and after repeating the motion a few times you set a nice pace. 

Jordan watched you with lust filled eyes as you rode his cock. His hands were holding your hips as he leaned up taking your nipple in his mouth, his tongue teasing the bud. Your nails slightly digging into his chest as you moan, the sound of skin slapping filled the room. 

“You’re riding my cock like a good girl, look down and watch your cunt take me.” 

Panting, your head drops and you watch as your body rises up then sinks down. His cock disappearing into your folds over and over again. 

“Who’s making you feel this good?”

“You are babe oH fuuuck.” 

“Whose pussy is this baby?” 

“Yours Jordan yours.” 

You moan hips moving faster, Jordan reaches between you pressing his thumb against your clit. Circling it quickly as he thrusts up when you come down so you stay filled. Your walls begin fluttering as the knot of pleasure in your stomach tightens. Jordan can see your movements getting desperate as you chase your orgasm. 

“That’s right baby cum for me.” 

You whine rocking faster, eyes rolling back as you’re hit with a wave of pleasure. Your walls clenching and gripping his cock tightly. Watching you cum Jordan flips you both over sliding right back in your cunt. His hands resting on either side of your head as he fucks into you. 

“Feel so good around me baby, look so beautiful when you cum.” 

Jordan wraps your legs around his waist, you were starting to get sensitive but not enough to hurt you. Jordan loved getting more than one orgasm out of you before he came. Your arms wrapping around his back as you pull him down for a kiss. You clench your walls to make it tighter and Jordan can feel his own orgasm quickly approaching. 

“That’s right yes fuck I’m gonna cum and fill this pussy so good. Can you cum again for me princess? Just one more time my love.” 

Jordan says thrusting even quicker your back sliding against the floor was sure to leave a slight rug burn but you didn’t care. Your body was getting the pleasurable sensation again as Jordan drove you higher. Both of you moving against each other, when your second orgasm hits your vision goes white as your eyes close. Crying out your back arches. Jordan curses saying your name over and over as his cock spills his seed in you. His movements become sloppy as he slows down. 

Using his forearms to keep from squishing you Jordan takes a moment to get his bearings then pulls out leaving you whimpering at being empty.

“Shh hush love, give me a few minutes to catch my breath and I’ll have you screaming my name again.”

#wwe #jordan devlin #jordan devlin smut #jordan devlin one shot #jordan devlin x reader #smut #18+ #jordan devlin fanfic

[charkyzombicorn]

Okay but what if luffy got his devil fruit a bit younger? Like he was 4ish when shanks brought it. Garp gets pissy earlier and decides to tie some balloons to his grandson and let the sky handle him while he makes arrangements with dadan.

But then it's a particularly bad day for luffy, and a strong wind carried him away from his island, he ends up falling right into one of the newer slave trader's ships and well fuck. He tried to fight them off but one of them has a collar with sea stone that the big boss person gives to every ship, even the smaller ones. So now luffy's fucked.

Since he's got a devil fruit, he's taken to the big boss child slave distributor asshole (put that on a business card) and then eventually gets taken to judge, because of course that dickhead would buy superpowered children. Judge gets him purely because rubber boy can take a hell of a walloping and also is stronger than the average four year old.

The vinsmoke brats and Sanji end up being pitted against Luffy and luffy does not win, but he doesnt die either so that's a plus. Sanji hates beating up a four year old, his brothers seem to love being able to punch something as much as they want without them being taken away or dying.

Luffy ends up learning how to fight by force, and eventually he's dubbed Sanji's fighting partner since they're both the weakest, which sucks because if sanji loses he gets locked up and if luffy loses then judge gives the other three brothers sharp objects and free time with luffy

Eventually luffy befriends sanji because of course he does, and loving food as much as he does he becomes the taste tester for sanji's cooking endeavors, and sometimes luffy manages to limp away to talk to sanji when he's in his cell.

When they escape, they escape together, and sanji becomes a bus boy and luffy just carries shit because he cant really do anything else but he could deadlift a ship at 10 so hey

When the attack happens, sanji's trying to save luffy, but zeff has to save him. Sanji sits on that rock almost certain that luffy's dead.

Luffy didn't die tho, because no, and he got saved, idk how, this is a writing prompt u figure it out, and they end up growing up apart for a bit after that. Luffy doesn't find his island again, but he does a bit of bounty hunting to get by and ends up making a name for himself because apparently his 'training' with the vinsmokes was a little more brutal than he thought.

Sanji works hard, he feels he owes a debt to both zeff and luffy, both of which helped him in some of his worse moments, and ends up a bit more edgy than in canon because he thinks his only friend is dead (push him to the edge🎶)

But then luffy gets blamed for something that was only really half his fault and half the random bandit he was fighting's fault, and he ends up with a bounty. It isn't a big one, just about 10000 berri, he kinda destroyed a bit more marine property than is recommended. But then sanji sees the bounty in the paper and he doesnt know if he should be glad his friend is alive or angry that luffy let him think he was dead.

But then luffy comes to the baratie when hes about 15-16, and then he sees sanji again and now he's super fuckin happy because how would luffy know sanji was alive?? They both came to the conclusion of mutual misunderstanding and lack of information after a bit of angst, because its sanji and luffy. But they get over it because they were both on the bottom end of the vinsmoke hellhole and does it really matter when they're reunited?

Zeff let's luffy steal sanji because it's been over a decade but luffy still wants to be the motherfuckin king, okay? And sanji's gonna be the cook for the pirate king and find the all blue because

Sanji becomes luffy's first mate and then start a sailing. Luffy attracts friends like a magnet, they get usopp next, and luffy kills kuro because luffy isn't as not-killerish as he is in canon because tragic backstory and if you leave a kid alone to be a bounty hunter long enough with only their own brain to make the morals, what do you expect will happen? Usopp joins because 'UwU piwate' is his opinion on the matter

They get nami, and sanji's a bit more chill than in canon because growing up with a guy that was also nice along with his sister and mother had a bit of an impact. He's still a bit if a french goth and treats nami better than other people but he isn't being a douche about a lady fighting or making faces quite as stupid.

Zoro joins but Does Not like sanji, which is mutual but luffy likes him so sanji must deal. They make their way toward the grand line, going back to the baratie, or what's left of it.

Sanji gets another thick layer of angst learning that while he was gone, don krieg destroyed the ship trying to steal it, and then they go to find don krieg, postponing grand line for a hot second because luffy wont leave until he gets to personally kick the ass of whoever made his cook so extra angsty, and sanji seconds that.

They find don krieg in Cocoyashi island, after crashing there with his broke ass ship. They fight him, the ruckus brings out arlong before Nami can attempt to lie to save them.

Sanji gets off one angst and gets it replaced with another when he can barely do shit because he was cooking all this time and is no longer as strong as luffy, who was only really working on fighting. Luffy almost dies because he has to fight both those shitheads back to back, but he wins.

Sanji starts getting more aggressive with zoro, and zoro only stays because he saw the fight and respects his captain, but that's a bit of a loose thing, ready to snap with a wrong move. Or maybe zoro leaves because he needed that fight with mihawk to realise this was serious and he was a pirate now, to each their own.

They stay in the east blue a little longer because luffy nearly died and they dont have a doctor, but he's fine. Sanji gets more guilt tho because that's how he is, and starts treating luffy nicer, which leads to luffy instigating a fight between the two of them because luffy wont swallow that shit. It helps things because violence is sometimes the answer

They head to the grand line, up reverse mountain, meet the whale, the whole shebang. Sanji might catch feels by this point because honestly who wouldn't?

Nami gets sick, and luffy doesn't know how to deal with that because back when he was being carted around with a sea stone collar and 30 other starving children, they just shot the ones that got sick. Ptsd time and guess who gets to help because zoro isn't first mate/here? Sanji! Which definitely puts things into perspective because for as long as he'd known him, luffy's tried his hardest to make sanji smile, and keep him company, even though after being bought luffy's only purpose was to be a stepping stone in sanji's development. So sanji finally being smacked across the face with the brunt of bottled up traumatized child luffy, he needs a fuckin smoke.

They find drum island and then same shit as canon, except it hits a bit harder with luffy carrying a dying nami and a heavily injured sanji up sheer rock because that's the only person that luffy had when shit got rough that he's holding between his teeth.

When sanji wakes up he probably notices how injured luffy is and can estimate the ringer he's been through because Sanji had to personally find out how luffy's healing factor worked because he was a good fraction of the reason luffy needed to heal so much.

They acquire a chopper :3

This is getting long and it's pretty much the end of my idea, sorry for the long informal post.

#one piece #lusan #i will take my leave

[a-libra-writes]

Aaaah jealous Robert trying to pursue childhood bff and Stannis getting jealous as a result. I love a good chain reaction.

I can just imagine Stannis not even able to feel relief when his brother marries Cersei because he knows that if anything his brother cares even LESS about being respectable. (Which reminds me so much of that Stannis fic you wrote where Robert tries to put the moves on his brother’s wife—LOVE that fic so much.)

Stannis is like so convinced his childhood BFF is unmarried not because she’s picky but because she’s pining for SOMEONE and he’s like ): god I wish that were me. When it….is….him. But he thinks it might be Robert because why else would she be sticking so close to Stannis still, as an unmarried woman who should be picking a husband? Like he thinks the world of his BFF but the thought of her wanting him does not compute to the point of thinking one of the worst case scenarios is a reality.

My man is sipping dumb and in love juice

!!!! Yes this is so perfect 😭 and he absolutely doesn't see that she's waiting around for him.... he'd probs lowkey scold her about avoiding her duty even tho it feels like bile in his mouth when he says that. She'll marry some whoever lord and leave him behind :^( :^( meanwhile everyone can see it.

I'm kind of torn between Robert believing Stannis just isn't into her bc he won't make a move .... or finding it hilarious how oblivious his brother is and flirting with her anyway. Like a jerk. Probably depends on how much alcohol he's had??

I also kinda like the idea of the BFF being nice to Robert and other visiting lords, or at least decent, and Stannis is just >:[ in the background. he is not pouting bc grown lords do not pout. She immediately goes back to him once the conversation is over. Stays sitting next to him during the feast/ball and doesn't budge unless a lord asks to dance. nothing is clicking in his head.

(also also like the HC that she's the only one he'll allow touch from without recoiling instinctively. probs the only one he dances with too LOL until she pushes him to the other ladies bc hes bein fuckin rude)

#yall rlly out here making me wanna write this AH #i already had another stanny fic outlined but now i need another apparently!!! #libra says #libra headcanons #stannis baratheon x reader

[number-one-jew]

Journey to Babel

I watched Jurney to Bable for the first time in 2 years. I decided to document my thoughts.

1. Bones has sensory issues

2. Why am I shocked that Spock is wearing the same dress uniform as everyone else?

3. These people are just talking in the hallway? Is there no place for them to go?

4. Why do they need so much security? It's just a grumpy old man.

5. Ohhh It's because it's fancy.

6. If I was greeted like that I would be so uncomfortable.

7. You had time to practice Bones this is a little last minute.

8. How does the Vulkan salute hurt, Bones?

9. Damn kirk didn't even try to do it.

10. It's happening.

11. Sarek: why are you introducing my son to me? I already know him (wish I didn't tho).

12. Omg not even a hello? This man can hold one hell of a grudge.

13. Bones noticed it

14. Oh but he says hi to Bones? 🤨

15. Sarek, you cant introduce people who are 8 feet away from you that’s ridiculous

I had a lot of thoughts so more under the cut!

16. How is Amanda not hugging Spock against his will? She hasn’t seen him in 4 years.

17. Yall make those kisses sound like the equivalent of a hand job and I think yall need to get layed.

18. Everyone: this bitch is human?

19. So petty!

20. Aren't their arms tired?

21. [Everyone disliked that]

22. Spock looks so sad!

23. It's happening!

24. The Vulkan aides in the background like: ???

25. Amanda looking at her son putting the pieces together immediately

26. I love how that just elevates the conflict so much. Like

"oh weird that the ambassador doesn't seem to like Spock…”

"ohhhhh that's so much worse".

27. Opera

28. Ambassadors first

29. Yall got sectors? Since when?

30. How big is this ship?

31. Sit down bitch

32. You could have thought him to smile

33. Yasss get that guilt

34. My father? Like she doesn't know him. Just say, dad.

35. Don't let him tell you what to do Amanda!

36. Kirk: tensions are already high for the delegates on the ship... let's make it worse.

37. Kirk: I'm going to make your dad interact with you whether you like it or not

38. Dun dun dun

39. Saerek: This is my villain origin story... and I’m smarter than him.

40. Spock: caption I need to go for reasons that arent crying In my room.

41. Kirk: I did not mean to offend (translation: fuck you).

42. If it's a human emotion then why are you feeling it 🤔

43. Like Father like son

44. this lady can't even pronounced her own last name

45. That doesn't sound logical but go off I guess

46. Don't lie

47. Amanda: You're not wrong

48. A couple of DMs having an argument

49. The food is so colorful

50. Open bar

51. That correction wasn’t needed Sarek, but ok.

52. Why do their eyes look like that?

53. Damn no need to insult people. what kind of ambassador are you/

54. Proud wife

55. Mrs. Seeraak

56. Betrayal

57. This is the best moment of bones' life

58. Spock: I see where your loyalties lie mother

59. At least Sarek is good for something

60.Spock: It was a vicious beast- I was never a kid- Shut up!

61. Chekov!

62. Disney spinny Light thing

63. Already did it bitch

64. A mother is 100% allowed to embarrassed her son! But it's nice that he cares.

65. He's like: please don't insult me, dear.

66. LOOK AT THAT LITTLE SMILE!

67. damn, I will say that kiss looked pretty intimate.

68. That ship is going to crash into them like a space bullet

69. TOO CLOSE!

70. Dun dun dun

71. UFO

72. Pigman

73. The Vulcan has a name

74. This man is a terrible choice for a delicate

75. Sarek kinda looks like my grandma. So does Larry king. (did he’s apparently dead)

76. It's the nose

77. Silence

78. Bro he barely touched you How did you fall back at all let alone get slammed into the fucking wall

79. Oh his nails are painted

80. If Vulcans were really all about logic they would be much lazier for the sake of efficiency. They’d say yall and I’ll die on this hill.

81. Kirk's just happy to yell at Sarek a bit

82. What does that even mean

83. Oh my fuckin' God he fuckin' dead

84. Close up

85. Bitch just ratted on his whole planet

86. Why do they still know it???

87. "Interesting"

88. Spock: I’m not saying my dad did the murder but if he did, it would be for a good reason.

89. We are here to arrest your husband

90. Sarek: He's dead!? ...weird

91. Sarek: Yeah I probably did it

92. Damn he fuckin' dead

93. That can't be good for Spocks back

94. Someone gets him a standing desk for Chanukah

95. Kirk: I'm sorry about your father 😔. Spock: I'm not.

96. See #42

97. He finally sat down

98. ♬♩Prolonged eye contact♫♪

99. Worf

100. Goddess

101. The threat is inside the ship!

102. Why are you asking Spock? That's not his job.

103. Spock: It is alien 👽

104. Que sad music

105. That dress does not match the atmosphere, Amanda

106. Spock would also fail to mention to his spouse that he had 3 heart attack

107. Ok, that's illogical! her knowing could be helpful my dude.

108. I'm sorry these all happened in the past 3 days?! My dude what?

109. I couldn't have killed this man I was in the middle of a heart attack... allegedlys

110. That was the first time he talked to him this whole episode

111. Amanda: how about you don't estimate anything

112. Great minds think alike

113. Mom if you don't let me sacrifice myself then you killed dad.

114. Fight! Fight! Fight!

115. Blood

116. He fuckin' dead

117. Are you stupid?! There are other people on the ship my dude you don't have to do anything!

118. The Andorian ambassador: Yeah I'm not shocked that he attacked someone that's just what we do.

119. I love this guy. He’s wise. Wish we saw him more.

120. That's what I'm saying, Amanda!

121. Be careful. I heard a little emotion in your voice Spock

122. If humans know one thing it's emotional manipulation. You go, Amanda.

123. Damn even I felt that slap

124. You could tho

125. A trick!

126. He's suspicious 🤔

127. God, she's so pretty

128. Bones! You should know whether that's good or bad! That's like basic shit!

129. You could have like taken a message instead of knocking him unconscious

130. Omg fake ear

131. Little bullet boy

132. Does no one sit in that chair?

133. The Ambassadors: what's happening?! Kirk: guess bitch 🙄

134. Imagine doing a risky experimental operation on a moving ship experiencing turbulence for murder related reasons

135. BOOM!

136. Damn these bitches got no aim 😒

137. Spocks awake

138. Smirk

139. Head of Security: here's the plan. We bring the murderer to the most important room on the ship with the most important personal and let him stand next to the caption who he tried to kill just hours ago. Random Ensign: should we leave him unrestrained as well? Head of Security: ...your a fucking genius

140. the fake Andorian looks kinda remorseful

141. I wouldn't call that speculation but ok

142. Why are we whispering?

143. The Andorian: what's happening? Kirk: speculate bitch 🙄

144. Chekov! You can't cheer when you kill people!

145. Surrender? That ship was in pieces! He's dead!

146. He's definitely dead now damn

147. Damn another person for bones to save

148. …nvm

149. Kirk: is my husband and his dad ok? Bones: Can't tell you gotta kvetch first.

150. Luck?

151. Kirk: Shut up Spock I did it already 😤

152. How is Kirk all better now?

153. Spock: Why didn't I figure that out earlier? Kirk: maybe it's because your dad was dying? Spock: lmao God no

154. I love that they have all these useless traditions but they draw the line at saying thank you

155. Spock: Dad, why did you marry her? Sarek: I thought it was a good idea at the time 😔.

savage

156. AMANDA FUCKING DECK THAT MAN!

157. nvm, Kirk is not ok.

158. Good for you Bones 👏

159. It's what he deserves.

#star trek the original series #star trek #journey to babel #spock #sarek #amanda grayson #bones #kirk #react