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#the little frost troll
alkalinefrog · 2 years
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“You have to run, Jack. You have to go now. You and Jamie can go on without me” “No. I can’t.”
From Chapter 30 of OTNWAS by @jjackfrost!
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virtualluvr · 4 months
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JOHN DORY — BROZONE
reader meeting JD?? NO WAY! very short and not as good as my older works, my writing will get better the more I write, I am a little rusty so don’t mind that! pls request im dying :p
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John Dory didn’t really think of who he was gonna be with in the future nor how he was gonna meet anyone…til he saw you. He met you, well..rather you bumped into him..near a local bakery. He was going to fetch some treats for his brothers. I mean, after a long trip and a battle, who wouldn’t want to stuff their face with sweets?
You were rushing to deliver some orders, pushing through the crowds with your rollerskates and large boxes stacked up in your arms. You failed to notice the blue-haired troll walking down the path…and you went a little too fast and tumbled onto him. And with a loud yelp, the both of you slid across the grass with loud slam. The pastries and goodies you had been carrying piled onto him, effectively covering him in sweet goodness and frosting.
“Oh my god! Are you okay? Am I going to be fired??” Your panicked expression was all that JD saw, he was still a little dizzy but he let out a groan and rubbed his head, frosting coating his fingers. He didn’t respond but he just stared, still processing what just happened.
“Um, hello? Are you okay? Are you gonna tell my boss?” You questioned with concern, helping him up and offering him a tissue for the ungodly amount of frosting on him. You were filled with anxiety as JD reluctantly got up. Once his vision was finally okay, he looked at you, his eyes widening at such a view. Your hands, knees, and forearms were slightly scraped, but you didn’t mind, you were only worried about him.
JD awkwardly coughed and adjusted his coat, cleaning off the residue off his clothes. His eyes wandered around to see if anyone had witnessed the scene, thankfully there was no one.
“I’m fine, but are you okay?” He pointed at the scrapes littering your body, his eyes darting back and forth from the awkward silence that filled the atmosphere around the both of you.
“I’m…well..its okay. I’ll patch myself up later, I’m really sorry, I wasn’t paying attention and I’d be happy to pay for your cleaning..” You rambled, looking down for some in-tact boxes. He didn’t respond right away, instead he decided to help, placing the surviving ones on top of each other. As the last one came to his view, you both reached for it and coincidentally, grazed hands. JD jolted, his hand reverting back as you looked up at him with a confused expression, a cheeky smile creeping on your face.
He’s never felt this way before, he felt love-struck? He was confused, maybe still a tiny bit dizzy? JD was having a lot of mixed feelings, was he annoyed, happy that he met you, maybe a little upset that he didn’t meet you sooner?
“Do you..wanna maybe talk about this over a cup of hot chocolate? The cleaning and stuff…after my shift?” You broke the silence, a genuine smile on your face as you tied all the boxes together. You chewed your cheek as you awaited his response.
“How about over dinner, at my place?” JD smirked, his ego growing bigger as he saw a harsh hue cover your cheeks. Although he’s never felt this way about anyone before, he sure wasn’t going to let this chance go down the drain, especially with a cute girl!
“We just met?” You giggled while pushing his shoulder slightly. Thinking he was joking, you were a little stunned as he handed you his card. You looked at it, tracing over the name ‘John Dory’ imprinted on it, “Do you always have these in your pocket?” you raised a brow, eyes flickering at him.
He didn’t have time to respond as you picked up the boxes. “The hot chocolate thing..lets do that. You know where to find me and I can maaaaybe get us some free cupcakes because my parents own the bakery. See you later,” you looked at the card again, double-checking the name, “John Dory.”
With that you carefully skated away, leaving JD with a wide grin on his face. Oh yeah, he is definitely coming back tomorrow.
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@VIRTUALLUVR — dont copy my work, paste it, or steal !
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thelargefrye · 2 months
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February Filth Fest : DAY EIGHTEEN : SIZE KINK … mature one - shot
pairing : norse god!seonghwa x greek goddess!f!reader
genre : smut, viking au, god of war inspired – so a mix of norse and greek mythology in this
word count : 2k
warnings : language, mentions of blood / fighting / weapons (swords, axe, bow and arrows, etc.), hunting for food, feeling grief over a loved ones death, long haired seonghwa in a half-up ponytail, seonghwa is mentioned to be bigger than yn
smut warnings : unprotected sex, size kink, seonghwa's got a breeding kink
honorary tag : @sanjoongie
after having traveled all over midgard with seonghwa and fighting for your lives, the two of you can finally settle down and have a moment together.
DAY SEVENTEEN ↤ SPREAD THE ASHES ↦ DAY NINETEEN
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a grunt left your mouth as you were flung into a large tree. you stumbled to your feet, seonghwa swung his axe at the trolls that were around him. blood flown through the sky, some landing on his face as he kicked one troll away before rushing over to you.
his hand wrapping around your forearm and hoisting you to steady feet before swinging at another troll. a smirk decorating his lips as he gave you a side glance.
"come on now, y/n, surely someone who killed all of olympus isn't getting beat by some trolls," he says, the cockiness thick in his voice and you roll your eyes before slashing and stabbing at the nearest troll – the one who sent you flying.
"shut your mouth and focus on fighting before i kill you next," you said and seonghwa lets out a loud laugh before he jumping and hacking at two trolls and effortlessly cutting them down.
when the trolls were all dead, you and seonghwa stood in the middle of the clearly covered in blood before sheathing your weapons.
"well that was a little more excitement than what i was anticipating," he says, turning to you with a smile on his face. but seonghwa always had a smile on his face. "i remember seeing a river along the north trail, lets go wash up before setting up camp."
you nod your head and allow seonghwa to lead the way, following closely behind him as you walked down one of the many dirt paths in the forest. you notice that every once in a while, seonghwa will look over his shoulder to make sure you are still following behind. silently noting your quietness as normally the two of you are going back and forth with each other in a playful bicker.
"what's the matter?" seonghwa finally asks once you are at the river. the both of you stripped down from your bloody armor and carefully washing the blood out. there was nothing you truly hated more than bloody armor, such a disgrace.
you turn towards him, clenching your clothes tightly, "i was thinking about my family," you say trailing off and at your words seonghwa also stops his scrubbing.
his now doe eyes looking at you softly and you hate how he makes your heart flutter and stomach do flips. seonghwa only knows a little bit about your family from greece and olympus, how went on this journey of revenge for your family after zeus took everything from you. you guess his comment from earlier was making you think.
but think about what exactly you aren't sure.
perhaps settling down with seonghwa after this and finally living a peaceful life. but was that something you even deserved?
"y/n," seonghwa is close to you, his bare skin touching your own and it brings you out of your thoughts. you look at him with wide eyes, surprised by how he moved this close to you without you noticing and he easily towers over you. perhaps that's a benefit from him being a frost giant? "what are you thinking? tell me," he sounds like he's pleading almost.
"i want to live a peaceful life, but i don't think i deserve it," you tell him, a chill running over you as you feel seonghwa's hand travel around your waist and pulling you closer to him.
"why don't you deserve it?"
"i've done a lot of bad things seonghwa, killed a lot of people, gods, monsters."
"but you've paid your debt, stop living in the past and focus on now. you aren't in olympus anymore, darling. you're here with me now. i don't think hongjoong would want you to live like this, feeling guilty."
your eyebrows furrow at the mention of your dead lover. husband. you felt angry that seonghwa would mention him as if he knew him. without thinking you shove seonghwa away and the water around you two splashes up against you both. seonghwa looks at you in shock.
"don't you dare talk about hongjoong like you know him!" you feel the tears beginning to build up in your waterline, but not from sadness but anger.
"i lost him and our daughter because i was stupid! their deaths haunt me and i see their bodies every time i close my eyes. no matter how hard i try to move on i will always be haunted by their deaths and my mistakes, so don't tell me to not live in the past when that's all i can see!"
seonghwa said nothing as the two of you looked at each other. he was calm and collected while you were the definition of rage. heavy breathing, clenched fists, and tear-stricken face. his silence only made you more upset.
"i'm not asking for you to forget hongjoong and your daughter," he says after what felt like an eternity of silence. "but..." he trails off taking a cautious step towards you, "i want you to realize that you don't have to let their death weigh on you forever."
"seonghwa..."
"you said you wanted a peaceful life, well we can have one. we'll settle down at the small cabin and have our own children. you paid your debt, but you have to give yourself this second chance," he says as he stops back in front of you. his cold hand feels safe when he touches your own.
"i... i don't know," you pull away from him once more, turning away and walking out of the river, clothes and armor in hand as you walk back to the camp you two had set up at the clearing, leaving seonghwa by himself.
the two of you spent the rest of the evening and early night in silence. the two of you having traveled and been doing this long enough that you could do things around camp without actually talking to one another. seonghwa had went and brought back deer he hunted for the two of you two eat.
and so you sat at the campfire in silence, the smell of meat feeling your nose and cracking of the fire filling your ears. your mind still reeling from what was said earlier. seonghwa was right because he was always right. you didn't need to forget hongjoong and your daughter, but you needed to let their deaths not haunt you anymore.
your eyes flicker to seonghwa from across the fire, his own eyes already looking at you. he had finished eating a while ago while you were still picking at yours. he rolled his shoulders before standing up, walking over to you and pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. silently bidding you goodnight before he enters your shared tent.
you don't know how much longer you sit by the fire, long enough for it to die out on its own. you stomp out the remaining glowing embers before crawling into the tent and laying down next to seonghwa.
you think you made up your mind.
"seonghwa," you know he's awake, he always waits for you to join him as you do for him. "can we talk?"
he turns over on his back while you lay on your side to face him. your hand reaches out to take his, linking your fingers together.
"i want to live a peaceful life with you. i want that small cabin, i want our children – your children, i want to take in the wolves, i want to love you everyday that i am able to wake up next to you and after that. i want to try and let go of my guilt enough for this to happen, please help me seonghwa."
seonghwa gives your hand a firm squeeze before he's rolling you onto your back and hovering over you. you let him pin your hands above your head and you can't help the arousal that runs through you when he does it with only one hand. his black locks framing his beautiful face that his clean of blood and war and his eyes are filled with something. lust? love? something else perhaps?
his large frame bends down to kiss you, his hands groping your body as he removes your undergarments so you are now bare and fully naked before his eyes. you watch as he lowers his head and trails his lips down your body; licking, biting, and sucking different marks over your tattered and worn body.
"s-seonghwa," you moan out when he finds home between your legs and licks your pussy slowly and lazily. his eyes never once looking away from yours. he makes out with your pussy, kissing it and letting his tongue drag in and out of your pussy and licking up any juices that you leak. like he's a man dying from thirst and your pussy is his oasis.
seonghwa effortlessly brings you to your first orgasm before he's finally pulling away, but not before pressing one last kiss to your pussy. he once again towers over you, a layer of sweat covering your entire body but you happily wrap your arms around seonghwa to bring into another kiss. your taste yourself on his lips, but you honestly don't mind.
the both of you are breathless when you finally break away, "seonghwa, i love you."
"my y/n, darling, i love you more than you can imagine," he says spreading your legs easily and you can't help but clench at knowing is coming.
"seonghwa, seonghwa, please!" you beg, hands combing through his long locks and brushing them out of his face.
"you know... if we start now, i could have you full and breed by the time we get back to the cabin," he says as you feel the tip of his cockhead running between your folds. "i can just imagine it," he says, slowly pushing himself inside of you, "fuck– you would look so beautiful with my child."
you clench around him the more he pushes inside of you, back arching as his lips latch onto your breast and begin licking and sucking on your nipple.
this isn't the first time you and seonghwa have fucked, but for some reason this felt different. as he thrusted into you, your name leaving his lips and his name leaving yours, you felt full. you felt a warmth spread through you as his taller stature curled into yours and you wrap yourself around him to bring even closer – if it was even possible.
"fuck– seonghwa, i-i'm close!" you could feel your second orgasm coming and it only seemed to drive seonghwa to move his hips faster.
he gave you his smirk, his eyes glazed over with lust, "i'm going to fill you with full of my cum over and over again, darling, until your stuffed and pregnant with my child," he says and you clench at his words. seonghwa does only a few more harsh thrust before you are both cumming. you fill his cum slowly filling you up and and some of it even leaking out around his cock from how much it is.
seonghwa is breathless as he pulls out and quickly folds your legs up and stuffing any cum back into you. you can't help but feel a little flustered at how he that, eyes staring hard at your cum-filled pussy. you then begin to feel a wave of exhaustion rush over you and you are lazily pulling at seonghwa to have him lay next to you.
he lays down next to you with a small 'ugh' sound leaving his lips as he does. you cuddle up next to seonghwa, and you realize that before meeting him, you never would have done this. you rest your head on chest as seonghwa draws his fur cape over the two of you. you can't help but let out a laugh at how it doesn't even fully cover the two of you.
"i want a daughter first," seonghwa says quietly and more to himself than you. "i want to name him dal-nim. it was my mother's name."
"its beautiful."
"what would you name her?"
"idonia," you whisper back, reaching up to kiss his collarbone.
"loving one," is the last thing you hear before you close your eyes and let sleep consume you.
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tag list : @frankenstein852 @watamotee33 @kawennote09 @mixling-blog @marahleiwhen @kpopnightingale @harry-the-pottypus @pyeonghongrie @sanniesbum @marvelahsobx @khjcoo @mysticfire0435 @exfolitae @dementedaly @simeonswhore @moonm1st @nvmbheart @spooo00oky @frgogh @sookacc @seongwin @burnsmepls @ad0rechuu @tunaasan @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @cheesekimchi @confusedmoonchild777 @mjyungi @innieontop @iweirdthingsblog @s0obinluvr @worcesheshestershiresauce @moonlightgrleric @wineyoungie @jeongwangjessmina @lemineso
network : @cultofdionysusnet @cromernet
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kittyball23 · 5 months
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Intrusion (a Trolls fanfic)
Summary: Poppy and Branch are out, seeking peace, quiet, and each other. Though, with four not-so-discreet snoopers around, that may not be so much of a possibility
A/N: Welcome to the next oneshot collection I've planned for TBT, "Brodacious!" (Also found on AO3, Wattpad, and Fanfiction.net under the same name) Can't wait to write for the Main 7, but of course, going to kick things off with a little Broppy ;) Think of this first one as a new edition (haha) of my oneshot from Trolls 3.0 "Setting the Mood" (ch 11) Rated G!
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Being a queen was a lot of work.
Branch knew this about Poppy, even before she had officially placed the crown on her head and received the title. Seeing King Peppy run Pop village, and then Poppy succeeding him, he could tell that the duties eventually took their toll on the two Trolls.
But, in turn, that’s what made quiet moments more appreciated. The times where she’d have a break to share alongside Branch for just the two of them to do as they pleased were always cherished, even if it was something simple like staying in his bunker, cuddled on the couch,eating cupcakes and other sweets while whispering silly but sweet things to one another. Or whether it was something a little more planned, like the picnic date he’d taken her out for that evening.
Twilight had fallen, and the sky was painted a beautiful gradient shade of orange and purple. Stars began to dot the sky, and the glow bugs began to flutter out, adding beauty to the scene around them. Though to Branch, nothing was more beautiful than the sight of the pretty pink-haired Troll that he was proud to call his girlfriend, even if she had a little bit of frosting stuck to her cheek from the cupcake she was eating. But it was not to worry. That’s why she had him. He was her partner, the metaphorical king to her queen, and the cupcake-frosting-wiper to her cupcake-frosting-mess.
He chuckled, scooting a little closer and setting his own cupcake down on the picnic blanket so that he could reach up and dab at her cheek with a napkin. She giggled in spite of herself and not being more cautious to not make such a mess eating, and then looked up gratefully into his deep, blue eyes. Branch felt himself entranced by her fuchsia gaze as well, and his hand lingered on her cheek, using his thumb to caress the skin where her cute freckles were. The moment was so perfect – why, it even sounded like there was sweet music going off in his head just from looking at her so.
But… maybe it wasn’t just in his head. Poppy blinked, coming out of her trance, and perked an ear. Branch did too, glancing around but not seeing anyone around just yet. Then he heard the voices a little more clearly – four very distinct and recognizable voices - and some rustling in the nearby bushes as an indicator of where it was coming from.
“Oh, oh-oh-oh, yeaheahah, come on, come on
Oh, oh-oh-oh, Sha-la-lala-la, la-lala, mmm-hmmm…”
Not making a whole lot of effort to hide themselves much, Branch and Poppy could see the heads of John Dory, Clay, and Floyd peeking out from behind the bushes, harmonizing a melody, while Bruce took on the main vocals.
“There, you see her,
Sitting there across the way,
She don’t got a lot to say, but there’s something about her...
And you don’t know why but you’re dying to try
You wanna, kiss the girl…”
Branch rolled his eyes as his other brothers added their own voices.
“Yeah, you want her,
Look at her you know you do,
It’s possible she wants you to,
But there’s one way to ask her
One way to ask her
One way to ask her…
Boy, you better do it soon,
No time would be better,
And it don't take a word, not a single word,
Go on, and kiss the girl, kiss the girl…”
Poppy giggled a little at their antics, but then grimaced a little upon seeing the rather annoyed look on Branch’s face. She knew that Branch definitely didn’t like this. She gently patted his hand. “Hey,” she said softly, “we can move somewhere else, you know.”
Branch glanced at her a bit deadpanned, but then a slight smirk tugged the corner of his lip. “Actually, I’d rather take the advice.”
And before Poppy could question what was going on, she was promptly tugged towards his face, his lips enveloping hers. Poppy sighed gratefully and returned the kiss as an eruption of wolf-whistles and jeering came from the other side of the bush.
“Woo-hoo! Way to go Branch the Heartthrob 2.0!” Bruce called out.
“Cool as ice but with all the spice!” John Dory riffed.
Clay in the meantime elbowed his brothers and gestured out wildly towards the pair. “See? SEE? Serious Boy Clay still has a couple of old tricks up his sleeve!”
“Way to go, Bromeo!” Floyd shouted to Branch encouragingly, clapping his hands.
But Poppy and Branch remained deaf to the brothers, their only focus being on the passion that they ignited between each other.
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A/N: I don't know about you, but when I watched 2023 Little Mermaid earlier this year, my brain kept distracting me by saying "Yo, Sebastian is just Spruce with a Jamaican accent" lmaooo
(also this version of Kiss the Girl is from Descendants 2, it's my fav version :3)
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luckybunny001 · 2 months
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Trolls Incorrect Quotes #6
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(20 years ago)
The six siblings are fighting each other with pillows in their combined bedroom, Spruce swinging his pillow at their baby sister Reader causing her to be flown backwards causing the purple trolling to laugh at the sight.
She sticks to the wall from the hit before slowly sliding down the wall as Spruce laughs before hes hit in the face and thrown back by a pillow that was thrown by a now very competitive Floyd.
In the background JD is trying to hit Branch with a pillow wildly as Branch is clinging onto the top of JDs hair to avoid getting hit by the eldest sibling's pillow, giggling as JD struggles to land a hit on him.
Floyd: “YOU PILLOW FIGHT LIKE A BUNCH OF LITTLE GIRLS!” He yells out trumpet in his battle, he stands proudly over Spruce as he laid on the floor as Floyd swiftly uses his hair to catch their baby sister from falling to the floor.
Unknowingly to Floyd he doesn’t notice one of his brothers creeping up on him before his older brother suddenly leaps into the air.
Clay: “YEA!!!” He cries out as he hits Floyd from above causing numerous feathers to burst from the pillow and float around the siblings causing Reader to giggle and clap her hands at the sight around her.
Floyd: “Sweet frosting! These pillows are filled with baby birds!” He cries out distressed as he hugs their baby sister close to himself for comfort as Clay cackles loudly behind him.
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gilly-moon · 10 months
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30. Desperate kisses, 52. Gripping thigh
OR
7. Passionate kisses, 48. Dancing with each other
~harley (I love you (platonically))
My brain latched onto 7 and 52 and only too late realized you probably meant these as combos 😅 anyways there’s a little drabble for prompt 52 under the cut! (ily (platonically) too ♡)
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Just as Jack was kicking off from the ground, eager to spin up a snow flurry somewhere in the world, two hands shot out from the darkness and gripped his thigh. Like a stray kite, he was reeled back down, held in place as Pitch emerged from the shadows.
"Going somewhere?" the Nightmare King asked with a smirk, fingertips pressing firmly into muscle.
"Uh..." Jack gaped down, his cheeks flushing with cold before his brain caught up to what was happening. "Yes? Why are - what are you doing?"
"Collecting my toll."
Jack tugged his leg, but was firmly held in place. He stopped to frown at Pitch's answer.
"What are you, a troll?" His fingers curled around his staff, ready for a fight if that's what Pitch came for. Out of pure curiosity, he asked, "What's the fee, anyway?"
"I'm so glad you asked."
One of the hands left his thigh, snatching instead at the laces of his hoodie to tug him sharply down. A firm kiss pressed to his lips, surprising a little noise from his throat. By the time Pitch was pulling away, Jack's cheeks were so cold they burned, his stomach doing a flip at the lingering warmth left behind on his mouth.
"Now," Pitch chuckled, "you may pass."
And just like that, he slunk back into the darkness, leaving behind one frustrated, flustered frost spirit.
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stinkypeanutbutter · 3 months
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sbg sleepover hcs because I’m silly
Aiden brings a butt ton of junk food. Tyler balances it out with the healthy crap so they don’t get diabetes.
With a LOT of bargaining, and I mean a lot, they come up with hairstyles for Ashlyn. It’s only rarely she gives in, but it makes the sleepover worth while.
sleeps at Aidens house the most just cause it’s huge, and huge means lots of hiding spaces, and it also means getting lost easily (Taylor)
they have like scheduled calendars for each movie night on who gets to choose. It goes in some kind of order depending on who went first last time.
Aiden and Taylor choose the horror or drama movies, Tyler goes for comedy, believe it or not. Logan goes for any genre of sci - fi or fantasy (he also loves doctor who) , ben likes to put on musicals ( bless him) , and ash doesn’t have a preferred taste, but she really likes disaster movies ( and comedies with Tyler sometimes. Taylor also loves kids movies like trolls, MLP, uhhh idk any 😭)
aiden also puts on the weirdest things he could find. Put on human centipede once, got banned from picking movies for the next 4 nights
dinner ? They just order pizza or burgers. If they’re feeling adventurous, they make something together ( 60/40 chance of succeeding )
Probably do contests and play random board games. Aiden has a ton of them because he would play in his sad little room against himself when he was feeling energetic. ( help )
Tyler forgets his crap sometimes, so he just borrows from the others like a loser
They tell spooky stories at like 11pm just so when the clock hits twelve they drop down and become paranoid about everything
despite not speaking, Ben tells the best scary stories and it’s hilarious cause he’ll go out of his way and plant some fake audios around the house ( or ARE they ? 😦 )
ashlyn would keep her braids in no matter what, even if they keep getting stepped or rolled on or pulled or -
sleeping ? They plan on staying up after 12 ofc, but when they do fall asleep it’s kinda a mess . Ben sleep like he’s about to be dropped into his grave, at least so he’s able to react quick enough to whatever might be bad in the area . Logan sleeps like a caterpillar in its chrysalis stage , unless with the group , then he kinda just lays on his side if he’s comfy . Tyler likes sleeping on his stomach cause he’s afraid something might punch a hole through it again, so just in case . . Taylor hugs things in her sleep. Don’t matter who, just be her stuffed animal for a while and she’ll let you go and roll on her side. Aiden has a similar issue. But he only does this cause he never really had anything to actually cuddle up on besides his pillow so. . he’ll hug on to whoever is closest ( Ash or Ben ) . They don’t mind it , I mean Ash gets trapped but she’ll deal with it later. If no one is around or close enough, he’ll just curl up into a little ball like he did when he was younger ( habit ).
Pancakes in the morning let’s gooo !!!!!!! Most of them collectively use a bunch of whipped cream . I mean , who doesn’t ? Lame - o’s. Aiden likes to see how many pancakes he can stack on top on eachother before it falls
No pancakes ? Cereal it is . Ash likes Frosted Flakes cause of the texture, and how they don’t crunch as loud when you chew em. Plus, they’re tasty. Taylor got them captain crunch and lucky charms. Tyler likes Honey Nut Cheerios cause he’s basic , but can’t resist honeycombs . . Cause he’s still basic . ( They slap tho idc what y’all say 🫠 ) Logan prefers fruity pebbles ( me fr ) or cinnamon taste crunch . Ben doesn’t eat too much cereal, but he likes rice Krispys cause their soft on his throat. Aiden likes whatever, he’s probably gonna add random crap in it anyway lol
that last part wasn’t really a sleepover headcanon but uhms ignore that 😅😅😅😿
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kinsey3furry300 · 11 months
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Controversial take: Hoid is a tumblr sexyman.
I like Brandon Sanderson, I think he's a good writer, but I never thought he was a great writer until the 'dog and the dragon' chapter of the Rythem of War at which point I realised that 1, Sanderson really knows how to use the story within a story device to communicate both to characters and the reader different information at the same time, and 2, Hoid is the ultimate tumblr sexyman: it's not the fact he's a super powered badass normal OP, it's not the fact he's sarcastic as hell, or the fact you need to peice his backstory togeather from a rabbit hole of internet lore and snippets of about 20 different books, and it's not the fact you could read him as Neurodivergant or bi, or the fact that his canonical appearance is a white haired pretty boy with cheekbones aka he looks like Jack Frost from that Guardans film that made us all wet back in the day. It's this: his in universe plan for defeating a litteral god of evil is shitposting. In universe shitposting. Whenever one of the heros is at their breaking point, Kaladin or Shallan or Lift, rather than actually act directly, he sits them down and tells them a long, rambling, often funny story that directly connects in no way with thier current situation, but speaks to their personality strongly enough to inspire them to keep going through their own darkest moments, and I think that is beautiful. It's the power of story itself to make the world a better place... just canonically delivered in the most annoying way possible by a massive and unapologetic troll (hell he beat up Kesler as much to teach him as anything), and i think that makes him more tumblr than any other recent litteraly character: his commitment to, in the face of Armagedon, be a silly little dude till the last.
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enpr-ss · 6 months
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Etho's talking so much smack when he hasn't had any victories yet. “Just gotta get good” “Sounds like a tryhard move” ?!? He just be saying things.
GEM OF GREATNESS! HIS FRIEND RUSTY! GETTING DENIED BY THE SHOP AGAIN!!
His stomach hurts from stress? Yet another techno coincidence.
HE JUST COMMANDS THE RAVAGER TO GO INTO THE ROOM AND IT DOES?!?! HOW. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE “Go to your room! And stay there!” He just grounds the ravager like an angry parent.
Willie was just CAMPING the dripleaf!!! What is this. He didn’t even get blindness. What is his luck. And he gets a frost ember even when no FE cards gets played. And moment of clarity at the end just to troll him. AND SWAGGER IS THERE JUST OUT OF REACH.
And tango just giving him free warden intel accidentally. The story just writes itself.
I think etho just tooted a little too. Poor Life Choices indeed.
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lixxen · 3 months
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It Takes Two AU Headcanon Masterpost
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Based off of the song It Takes Two from Trolls Band Together :)
Full HC UTC
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The portal accident happened when Danny was 5 and Jazz 7
Instead of Danny staying in the human world, it brought him into the Ghost Zone and the portal broke
Nobody knows what happened to Danny in the human world. They knew the portal turned on by itself and failed, but nothing else. They do not correlate the two events together. They spent a whole year searching for Danny before declaring him fully missing
Frost Bite found Danny and took him in, raising Danny and recognizing Danny is a Halfa with a ice core
Danny is raised amongst the ghosts and is fully knowledgeable in ghost mannerisms and culture. He does get human food through one or two ghosts who will bring it to him
He is still hunted by Skulker, but it is less of a danger since he is protected by Frost Bite. He actually has a relationship with most ghosts. Whether it's good or bad is up to you (I can list it out specifically if anyone cares or want specific dynamics)
He hates Christmas but loves Holiday Truce. Idk if that makes sense. Him and ghost writer still have beef.
Danny is the GZ's core and is destined to defeat Pariah Dark and become the Ghost King. Many ghosts know this and hope that if they keep the prophecy under wraps, it won't happen. It just says a Halfa of the ghost realm. It could be Vlad! (It cannot be Vlad)
Danny runs into Vlad naturally and they have no idea he is Danny Fenton. He knows his name is Danny but goes by Phantom. So Vlad just sees him as an annoying Halfa child that bothers him sometimes
The three activate the portal by accident later on, but it doesn't turn them into Halfas. Just opens the portal. They become a small team of ghost hunters
Jazz becomes friends with Sam and Tucker and create an older sister type of friendship. She keeps them out of trouble and mentors them
They aren't on horrible terms with the A Listers due to Jazz being more popular. It surprisingly causes them to be looked down upon, but not bullied. Light hazing behind Jazz's back if so
Jazz and Danny both always feel like something is missing; Jazz knowing she has a little brother out there and Danny not knowing his real family
The A Listers and the Ghost Trio (Sam, Danny, and Jazz) all go out into the ghost zone together one day
The A Listers get disconnected and the Ghost Trio have to go find Frost Bite, who they met once before. He allied themselves with them after realizing the connection to Danny
The Ghost Trio are met with Phantom protecting the territory and they realize that he looks a lot like Danny. Or, what they'd expect Danny to look like now
Danny is ready to fight them, but realizes that they're not trying to attack him. He backs off and they talk.
He mentions his name is Danny Phantom, and Jazz asks if he was once Danny Fenton. Danny is caught off guard and says that the name sounds familiar, but he doesn't know. He's been there since he was a kid. He transforms back into his human form to show them he isn't a full ghost
They realize that it is in fact Danny and they freak out. Jazz is crying and hugging Danny, who is shocked and hasn't had contact with a human in years.
He breaks down crying after a few minutes.
He asks her everything and she explains the whole situation and how their parents kept up their ghost stuff, desperate to find out if Danny was dead or not
Danny is amazed and he is just glad that he found his sister
Then he realizes that he can't let them go back home so he tries to convince them to stay with him and that they're safer in the Zone than outside of the Zone
They refuse and eventually convince him to go back with them. He doesn't agree at first and tells them this is their home. They explain that the human realm was his home first and that it's their home. They can't just leave it
Danny thinks it over and they spend ends up going with them to get back the A Listers
The A Listers are so confused by Danny being there but are glad they had help. They then find out about Danny and are shocked
Danny ends up going home with them and reunite with their parents. But they don't tell him he's half ghost. Just that he was stuck in the Zone for 8 years
They all cry. Yippee.
Danny befriends Sam and Tucker! The A Listers treat him like they do when they find out he's Phantom in the show
He goes towards school!! He gets to fight the ghosts when they start coming through, and they actually respect him for the most part. They all know what's up. But they still fight him. They're still being chaotic ghosts causing problems
He's doing that double life y'all.
A year later, Danny does end up fighting Pariah and becoming king. He rules from the human realm until he gets out of high school then goes to half ghost zone half human realm ruling. It's a hard life for Danny
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rocksibblingsau · 1 month
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Are you working on any other fics? If yes, what are they? If no, are there any other fics ideas you want to write one day?
Not currently working on any other fics/projects as in serious projects, but sometimes I do little drabbles for friends eyes only of AUs of their AUs or what not. I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home has been one of the first real fics I've done, so the reception to it has been mind-boggling to me!
Looking at I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home, I have plans for it to cover a lot of ground. It's tackling 15 years of Branch growing up in a new place, then how things in the timeline of the three movies would change. There's going to be a lot of stuff that is COMPLETELY new and shows just how drastically the timeline will change. Thinking on it, I really feel like this fic could go for a hundred chapters, there's so much I want to cover.
That's why I think it'd be fun to one day do a couple one shots or chapters of how I think Trollstopia would play out in the AU!
Another plot bunny I have in mind is something me and @dialga64bitz discussed, which would be a 'missing episode' idea of how explaining their history with the Bergens to the other tribes would go. In Trollstopia it seems to imply Poppy never actually filled anyone in on that little tidbit, judging by how the episode 'Bygone Bergen' went.
It would start with the ambassadors noticing that for the upcoming event, the Pop Trolls seem to be going more 'all-out' than usual, which is concerning. They'd visit Poppy and Branch and ask what the fuss was and Poppy would explain that it was the 22nd anniversary of the last Trollstice and she would give a very sugar and frosting coated explanation. There'd be a bit of the ambassadors talking to various members of the Snack Pack and learning about their traditions and reason for the season.
It'd be a great segue for Branch to share his past as well as talk about how Pop Trolls treat their history!
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dulltoned · 4 months
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I stand with the hc that Branch has one hell of a stomach, and that sweets aren’t his strong suit- he doesn’t mind the occasional cupcake or cookie, but he definitely doesn’t have the same tolerance as Poppy or any other troll-
I like to think the brothers all have different levels of tolerance to sugar, and their diets are a lot different than a common pop troll (seems like pops are the only one who ever really live off a lot of sweets from what we’ve got- correct me if I’m wrong tho-)
JD, I feel like, has the most similar diet to Branch, since he lived a lonesome life and most likely had to feed off of what the forest had and what little he could get his hands on, such as berries and whatnot- like Branch, he wouldn’t be as tolerant to sugar, but it isn’t half as intense as Branch- or maybe he’s just not that big of a fan-
now, Bruce, from what we’ve seen of his restaurant, seems more into sea food than anything, so his diet most likely consists of that- since he has kids, he’d be a lot more tolerant to sweets since you cannot tell me this man didn’t sneak in a few whenever the kids got to eat some- he gives “cool dad” vibes that shares everything with his kids- he’s open to anything new (another quirk he attained from having kids) and he isn’t that picky when it comes to food
Clay’s diet consists of fast food, such as fries, burgers and whatnot- definitely a lot of sugar too, so out of all of them, he’s definitely the better one at keeping sweets down-
for Floyd, I feel like the food he ate was rather vast- we aren’t entirely sure what he did during the 20 years alone, but I like to hc that he explored troll kingdom, most likely trying out the different dishes in each territories and just evolving his preferences and all- between all of them, he’s got the biggest range of tastes, and he’s never afraid to try out something new- sweets are fine for him, he just doesn’t go overboard unlike some others-
-🪶
I've always loved the idea that Branch doesn't stomach sugar well, but while it makes sense for him as a character I also acknowledge that I'm projecting onto him. Sugar makes me ill and it's interesting to have a character that I think can relate to that.
I think it'd be an interesting thing for Poppy to realize. Poppy is obviously a very excitable and very giving troll and I imagine that she'd give Branch a lot of sweets just because it's customary amongst Pop Trolls. Branch, the poor lovesick idiot, would feel bad letting Poppy's hard work go to waste so he'd just eat it and endure the stomach ache later.
At some point or another Poppy would discover Branch curled up, unwell over the sugar overload, and he'd be forced to confess that he doesn't really do sugar. Poppy would feel so guilty and Branch would feel even more outcasted from the Pop Trolls even after he'd regained his colors.
Poppy starts making him muffins and scones instead, less sugar and no frosting, and Branch finds that they actually aren't that bad. He still can't stomach the whole thing at first but he finds that some pastries are actually pretty good. His favorite is the lemon poppyseed muffins. No reason. Don't look into it too much.
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kittyball23 · 4 months
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Birthday Teen (a Trolls fanfic)
Summary: Not-so-baby-anymore Branch's 13th birthday is not all that it's cut out to be...
A/N: Got inspired to write two more oneshots over the Christmas weekend. Here's the first, a follow-up to Birthday Boy
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Near silence filled the space.
There was no laughter. There were no shrieks. There were no rambunctious squabbles or playful shenanigans. Not even a silly, improvised tune. There was just Branch, his bunker, and his sole cupcake.
It was a stark contrast to the scene that it was for this very occasion twelve years ago. To the fun that existed then, when things were simpler and he would hold no concerns for tomorrow. Back then, he didn’t have to grow up so fast. He could enjoy his time in diapers, clapping his small hands and giggling with delight. He could play with his brothers, enjoy the warm hugs from his grandmother, and sing to his heart's content, all without a worry in the world.
Back then, when there weren't any problems to be solved, and  Branch knew nothing of the hardships the future would bring for him.
But this wasn't like that now.
It was never going to be like that again.
At least, not the way he saw it.
With a sigh he prodded at the rich, vanilla icing on the cupcake in front of him and watched the frosting indent. 
Branch scrunched his nose, a feeling of disgust welling inside of him. He'd lost his taste for cupcakes long ago. They were far too sugary, and in the end didn't provide the appropriate nutrients that were needed to sustain a healthy diet. Nowadays, such a thing was critical, if it meant ensuring his survival. Because, unlike before, he had nobody else to ensure of it.
But, he had gone through the trouble of baking the treat, and it was not trouble he would've gone through without anything to gain in return. Every minute he took with every task he performed was a spent effort.
With a hint of reluctance, and a hint of longing, he unwrapped the confection from its paper covering, and brought it up to his lips. The taste melted sweetly against his tongue and left behind a myriad of  flavors. It was simple but elegant. No extravagance or excess. Just what he needed in such a time.
Inhaling deeply, Branch closed his eyes. He savored the sweetness, marveling at how closely he had hit home with his Grandma's recipe and wondering that, if his brothers had been there, perhaps they wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference.
Trouble was, they weren't there, and had not been for quite some time…
They weren't there for when he'd hit his 3 inch milestone in height, or when he'd become fully potty trained, or when he'd had his first day of school, or when his voice had deepened, or whenever ANY little thing that was important to him had happened. Their absence was a constant ache in his chest that only intensified day after day, year after year, paining him to realize that he couldn't see his brothers as the young men that they were sure to be now... and that they couldn't see him for the one that he was becoming.
Dismay pricked Branch like a thorn.
It wasn't fair. It was completely unfair. He loathed the solitude. The bunker that lacked the very trolls for whom he built it for. His sickeningly sweet cupcake, mocking him with its perfection.
He chewed the last few morsels he was willing to eat away, savoring the flavor, before setting down the unfinished treat on the table and pushing it aside.
This is the worst birthday yet.
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thana-topsy · 8 months
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Fic Lines! Tag Game~
Thank you to @dirty-bosmer @kookaburra1701 @elfinismsarts @friend-of-giants @mareenavee @ehlnofeh and... anyone else who tagged me that I might have missed. It's been hectic irl for me, and I haven't gotten a chance to devote a lot of time to Tumblr Tings, but this seemed like a lot of fun.
I'm gonna try to pull from "Breathing Water" and "Liminal Bridges", since I'm currently working on the latter -- so I'll include some unpublished stuff from that as well!
The rules are to share:
A line from your fic that makes you laugh
“You’re in a mood,” Neloth declared through a chuckle. “And you’re distracting me. Which is not helpful, mind you.”  Teldryn leaned in a bit closer. “Is that a bad thing?” “Shoo. Away with you.” Neloth flapped a hand at him. “Let me do my work. Unless you had a terribly important reason for coming to find me.”  “Maybe I just missed you.”  “Yes, well, absence does make the heart grow fonder. So go away.”
(from Liminal Bridges) Neloth and Teldryn's banter makes me laugh a lot.
A line from your fic that makes you sad
“I do…” Neloth began, and Teldryn jumped ever so slightly. Neloth’s voice was so ragged that he felt a little startled himself, barely recognizing the sound. He cleared his throat. “I do… feel.” He twisted the stiff bedroll between his fingers. “I do.” Teldryn said nothing, continuing to look straight ahead.  “It’s just…” He didn’t know where he was going with this, but the words were clawing their way out of him, like some kind of sick, emaciated animal emerging from a cave. “I don’t think I… feel… correctly .”
(from Breathing Water)
A line from your fic you're proud of
For a long moment, all he could see was darkness. Then, the shimmering light of his spell began to catch the edges of shapes, vague and distant. Dozens of ships, scattered like the splintered bones of giants across the ocean floor.
(from Breathing Water)
A line from your fic you think could have been better
Neloth hadn't quite gotten used to the new way of things.
(from Liminal Bridges) I actually went in and altered this line to read: "Neloth had difficulty adapting to the new way of things." but I'm still not entirely satisfied with it. Bleh... best not overthink it too much, I reckon.
A line from your fic that makes you want to punch a character
“It’s not like you even teach me,” Talvas argued. “You just use me as a–a slave.”  “I’ve owned many slaves, my dear boy. If you view the meager work I assign to you as akin to slavery, then there’s no doubt you are just as weak as I previously anticipated. You would have found yourself in shackles had you lived in Morrowind not two hundred years ago.” He sneered, beginning to turn away. “But very well. Get out of my sight. Such spinelessness is unbefitting of anyone who wishes to carry on the legacy of House Telvanni.”
(from a yet-unpublished chapter of Liminal Bridges!) I want to punch Neloth often. It's why I love him so much.
A line from your fic that makes you go 'aww'
“Cold are you?”  “Damn you,” Neloth retorted, looping a leg around one of Teldryn’s. He was as hot as a furnace and Neloth groaned at the warmth, wriggling his frozen toes beneath Teldryn’s calves.  “Aye!” he yelped, trying to jerk away. “You have icicles for feet, you bloody frost troll!” “It’s your duty as my partner to warm my feet,” Neloth argued, tugging the covers up around his shoulders and shifting down to press himself against Teldryn’s side.  “Partner, is it?”  Neloth looked up, a flicker of panic catching in his chest. He’d said that, hadn’t he? Partner. Teldryn was looking down at him with soft eyes, the barest hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.  Neloth cleared his throat. “Would you prefer a different term?”   “No.” Teldryn slid further beneath the covers, wrapping a warm arm around Neloth’s waist. “No, not at all. I… I like that.” He pulled their bodies together, no longer flinching away from Neloth’s cold feet. “And I certainly need to uphold my duties.”
(from Liminal Bridges)
A line from your fic that's full of symbolism
Neloth said nothing, chewing nervously at the side of his tongue as Teldryn slipped a hand beneath his linen undershirt, running a warm, smooth palm across his sides. What on Nirn had possessed him to say ‘partner’? It was supposed to have been harmless banter; their usual back-and-forth. Now, the future stretched before him in branching uncertainty, sprouting delicate buds of possibility that could so easily be clipped or stunted by the cold.
(from Liminal Bridges) A continuation from the scene that "makes me go 'aww'". Honestly it took a while to pick a snippet. I write in unintentional symbolism all the time, or so it's been pointed out to me lol. That, and I love metaphor.
A line from your fic that contains an Easter egg
“For now, we need to try to talk our way out of this. I don’t think I’ll be able to cast any time soon.”  Teldryn let out a low chuckle. “Well, luckily, that’s something I can do.” He unstrapped his bracer and pulled his right glove off. On his middle finger sat a glimmering ring – a moon and star. “I can be incredibly convincing.”
(from Breathing Water) The Moon and Star ring has a charisma boon -- it fortifies personality and speechcraft LMAO.
A line from your fic that's shocking
He looked down at his own body and a wave of sickness washed over him, coupled with the feeling that what he was seeing couldn’t possibly be real: a sword protruding from the center of his stomach.
(from Breathing Water)
A line from your fic you want to talk about more
Agatha huffed a laugh under her breath, removing an empty alembic and replacing it with a kettle on her alchemy workbench. “Your charisma is one of your greatest strengths, Mister Sero. You would make a good diplomat.” “I beg to differ,” he scoffed. “Look at all the good it did me in the First Era.”  A sudden coldness settled behind his breastbone at his own words. An odd slip-up. He’d taken great care throughout his life to separate himself from Nerevar. The phantom memories that came to him in dreams, the loyalties he couldn’t seem to shake, the opinions that seemed to spring from his head fully formed, as if crafted by decades of experience… No. It was the result of knowing his history—knowing Morrowind’s history. Teldryn Sero and Indoril Nerevar were not the same person. To imply otherwise was too frightening.
(from an unpublished future chapter of Liminal Bridges!)
The difference between past Topsy writing Breathing Water and current Topsy writing Liminal Bridges, is that I've actually PLAYED Morrowind now and have a lot more insight into the whole Nerevarine business. And I really wanted to dig a little harder into Teldryn's relationship with being the Nerevarine, specifically what that means for him psychologically. I know there are 100 different ways to spin the reincarnation, but I've settled on the shape of "He's literally just Nerevar".
I tag @vidvana @trickstarbrave @tkwritesdumbassassins @daedrabait and anyone else who wants to jump in and hasn't already been tagged!
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skyrim-forever · 9 months
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The Dragonborn's Inferno
Since my silly little post about wanting to write a crossover TES/Divine Comedy garnered a lot of interest I decided to go ahead and give it a shot! This is a little scene I'm working on for Canto I of Inferno.
Tagging those who showed interested in reading: @greyborn2 @lucien-lachance @thana-topsy @naturalbornlosers @ladytanithia @alicehealer @abstractredd @saffronornah @faenamoonseeker @notoriousbastardlover @alpha-centauriiae <3
Thank you so much for your interest it was really motivating, I hope you enjoy!
Canto I
Ascended half-way up the mountain  I found myself obscured in snow Confused, and I knew I lost the way
There was no way to tell where I was The snow blowing wildly in the wind To remember it sends a shiver down my spine
The wind so biting, but not worse than death itself Arkay’s embrace had eluded me that day For there was good to be found on that mountain
The wind had cleared to let me see That I was at the Throat of the World All of Tamriel within my vision
I could see much further than any time prior From the Adamantine Tower in High Rock To the festering jewel of Black Marsh
But the view did not remain mine alone For from behind me came the roar of a troll A frost troll, one that I had recognized 
Having fought this valiant foe before I was surprised to have found it again Especially now, on one such day
The troll lunges for my arm Narrowly dodging it’s fearsome claws I went to ready an attack
I did not have time to go on the offence For a golden figure appeared between the troll and I Reduced it to nothing but dust 
“Have mercy on me you, you the man before me” I shouted to the figure A figure which transformed into a man
A man of simple robes And medium length tawny hair Stood before me, his smile warm
“No longer a man, but in my mortal life I was one. I was born in the Imperial Province A commoner, meant to fulfill a divine purpose.
My youth was spent in debauchery, Until I found the Divines. Who never intended for me to rule.”
How could I have not known? I open my mouth to speak Fearful of stuttering in his presence
“For you are Emperor Martin Septim, 
The leader, the martyr, who died for Tamriel. You who embodied Akatosh in that great battle.”
I finished my statement by bowing Grateful that he had appeared to me To know that I did not walk this plane alone
“I come to you now, in my true form, Despite it all, in my heart I am but a priest, acting in his will”
Gesturing for me to stand up,  I obeyed the Emperor To which he spoke again to me
“You who have lived a thousand lives Dragonborn does not cover the extent of you life” The Avatar of Akatosh tells me
“You who have been Listener and Guildmaster, Moon-born and Vampire,  Stormcloak and Legionnaire”
I was humbled by his kind words That the Hero of the Oblivion Crisis And last true Emperor, would even speak to me
“You flatter me my liege But I stand but a humble individual Graced in your divine light”
And I continued to speak my praises “You who, along with the Hero of Kvatch Succeeded in destroying Mehrunes Dagon”
Through the grace of Akatosh, he laughed A slight chuckle in good will Divinity had only increased his kindness
“I say nothing that is untrue friend,  For I who has always known you,  See in my heart you, truly, as Akatosh’s chosen”
The Avatar of Akatosh himself Saw me as an equal, even if my actions  Pale in comparison to his
“Please, my Emperor, tell me about that day! The day Kvatch was attacked!” I plead with him
A warm smile emerged on his face “I’m afraid most memories have left me, Memories of my dear friend are gone.”
“Though I may not remember their name, Nor do I remember their face, I do remember the warmth of their friendship”
His eyes closed, basking in the memories “But I do not you are not unlike them Both prisoners burdened by destiny”
A moment of silence fell between us I waited for the last Septim to break it To which he did
“We must make haste Dragonborn,  For I have been asked to guide you. Another divine quest is asked of you”
And so we left that mountain The highest point in Tamriel Followed his lead into the void.
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grifff17 · 1 year
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The similes, metaphors and symbolism in Prison of Plastic are incredible
So I finished Prison of Plastic. Jello is so talented with symbolism and analogies. This book is packed with them, and after I finished listening to it I rewatched the Say No lyric video and there's even more meaning in it now.
The most obvious one is the fire imagery. Both Molly and Lori are terrified of fire, and anytime the story is getting dark you can tell by the references to fire. "the blood spilled down Molly's cheek, like a burn" "the crumbling carrot cake looked like ash" "you don't have to light yourself on fire to keep everyone warm". This is in the song too, the very first line is "how do you balance the irons in the fire" and it continues to reference fire about 5 more times. The details are amazing. Lori has a fire alarm in her fantasy witch's hut because her mom died when the fire alarm failed. Even Lori's dragon only breaths lukewarm fire.
There's also the name of the book, Prison of Plastic. This is mostly just in that one scene in chapter 7, where the prison of plastic is actually the real world and not a dream bubble. The song parallels Molly being trapped with Lori's freedom.
Tied to this is the wrecking ball symbolism. In the chapter 7 scene, Molly needs a wrecking ball to break her out of her prison of plastic. In the video for the song there's a literally wrecking ball at one point. The last chapter is called wrecking ball. Giovanni was the wrecking ball, breaking her free, which is directly tied to the theme of no one able to help Molly if they follow the rules.
Then there's little stuff. One of the lyrics from the song is "baking self-reflection so exhausting". Both are things that Lori is forced to do, but hates. In her fantasy world, she doesn't appear in mirrors, so self-reflection is both literal and metaphorical. "take those imperfections and coat them in frosting" is again both a metaphor and something she literally does in the cooking challenge.
That's the serious stuff. When the book is being funny, a whole different set of metaphors are used. Jello has such a unique writing style. The funny metaphors are on the perfect edge between ridiculous and somehow perfectly logical and comprehensible. He manages to put into words "phrase that everyone in a friend group uses with no one sure of its origin" (for my friends the phrase was "we do a little trolling" and we were shocked to discover that its actually a Trump quote).
tldr BUY HIS BOOK BUY HIS BOOK BUY HIS B-
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