#the locals

[peculiary]

New Mutants #10 June 10, 2020

#nice #nice to see #the locals #locals #lending a hand #a hand #they're not #they're hoping #hoping #the sphere #eats

[flannelepicurean]

Redneck Raditz: The Locals

There are so many OCs in this it's just a whole entire goddamn Situation, but you literally cannot write about somebody moving into a Southern town without there being a fuckin' town. Anyway, here are some of the most well-developed peeps:

Debra (Miss Debra) is the diner waitress. Yes, there are other waitresses at the diner. But she is THE diner waitress. Nothing fazes her, and she is very sweet, but you better bring your manners. She doesn't really get mad, but you will feel ashamed of yourself in the worst way if you disappoint Miss Debra with your behavior. She's got that classic Southern hospitality that's actually genuine, and she will not steer you wrong on a menu recommendation. She's from the same manufactory that spun out Dolly Parton, but she's not as glamorous on the outside. She and Miss Dolly would get along great, though, and Dolly would recognize a kindred soul.

"The Guys" consist of Wayne, Kevin, Ryan, and Derrick. They're the crew Raditz hangs out with when he's not working at the hardware store or haunting the diner. They smoke weed and play Playstation and do other hanging-out type shit, and they're still friends with Raditz even though his ass be cheatin' at Tekken.

Wayne is a real chunky guy who doesn't wear enough sunscreen even though he really should, and gets that "sun-bleached blonde, sunburnt edges" look in the 71% of the year that's pretty damn warm. Favors flannel shirts (lighter fabric, unbuttoned, ripped-off sleeves over a white tee or a tank in the warmer months) trucker hats with truck-related stuff on 'em. He's got the thickest accent, or at least the most animated one (there's a difference). Tends to talk at a spirited canter. He's frequently the first moral compass of the group, and tries to get Kevin to act like he's got some goddamn sense. Wayne will get vocal about when someone "ought not to've done that," if they're acting like a real asshole, even if he's not physically enforcing it.

Kevin is a Cory, of Cory and Trevor, of Trailer Park Boys, type of guy. 😂 Basically the same edition of dude, but not a physical copy. He's a little low-key on his energy, but extremely goofy, and often off-target on shit. He lives in sweatpants and jerseys and mildly obnoxious tee shirts and hoodies. Not a full-time hat wearer, but will put on an Adidas logo snapback every now and again.

Ryan is a mechanic. He's not terribly tall, and pretty wiry, but he has a presence. His hands are always a little grungy-looking, and his nails are always kinda black under the edges. His eyes are a little deep-set, and light green, and his hair and his sorta-whatever mustache situation are that kind of easily-overlooked light brown that like...wild rabbits have in their coats. He hangs out in his shop shirts and jeans and boots and that baseball cap that's kinda ???-colored because he's worn it at the shop for so many years. Ryan doesn't say much. But when he does, it's to the point. Ryan is a sage.

Derrick is "Derrick With the Truck." Not that nobody else has a truck; there are a LOT of trucks around. Derrick has a Truck, one of those pickup trucks with the fat ass and the extra tires and a big enough truckbed that all of The Guys, and Raditz, and maybe a couple other people, can get down to someplace to have a good time, and they can guaranteed lay Raditz's drunk ass in the back and still have room to drive everybody home after. Derrick is a Black guy with some height and some heft on him. He wears jeans a lot, but he goes for a little nicer shirts than the other guys. Short-sleeved button-downs in the warmer months; V-neck sweater with a white tee or a casual button-down under it in the cooler months. Derrick also doesn't say much, but he's got a sense of humor. He's a practical guy, and he likes to be helpful, but he's got good boundaries.

There are some other folks who fill out the roster in this thing, but I don't have as much about them yet. :)

#fanfic wip #headcanon #redneck raditz #dragon ball z #oc stuff #raditz #background info #the locals #or some of them anyway #this place is full of characters #miss debra #the diner waitress #she's magical #the guys #gotta have some guys #wayne #kevin #ryan #derrick #they're a good bunch #raditz does cheat at playstation though #you know he does

[fieriframes]

[THE LOCALS LOVE TO TALK YOU INTO TRYING IT. YOU'RE GONNA BE SURPRISED. THOUGH ALL I WANTED WAS HUMOR AND WISDOM. THAT'S FUNKADELLIC, MAN.]

#s02e10 open 247 #guy fieri #guyfieri #diners drive-ins and dives #the locals #gonna #humor #wisdom #man

[coffinwoodx]

ok so for those of you who don’t know, there’s this twitter account of a japanese local hero mascot named dentman who went viral recently due to this tweet

but yeah he saw the tweet. and his response went viral as well (which is how i found his account)

and he just has like. hourly posts reminding you to brush your teeth

oh and his rival? his name is mr. mutans. whenever dentman posts he makes a post of his own, ofc

but THAT’S NOT ALL. literally while making this post i found a THIRD ACCOUNT that’s all about taking your meds

safe to say i’m losing my mind

anyway the point of all this was that people are ALREADY beginning to draw them ship art 😭

and the reactions are everything

I CANT ADD ANY MORE IMAGES BUT TRUST ME THIS IS SO FUNNY

toxic one-sided dentman yaoi wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card but it DEFINITELY IS NOW!

#what the fluoride #toxic doomed yaoi #this is so funny #dentman #mr. mutans #mr.mutans #mutans #ohga man #ohga #twitter #tokusatsu #japanese mascots #local heroes #🍬 #🦷 #🍬🦷 #long post #50k #60k #70k

[theblob1958]

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.

#missed out on a whole year I could have skated at my local roller rink because I didn't want to go alone #and now it's closed and I won't ever get that year back. sometimes you gotta do it alone if you want to do something

[saulwexler]

how to explain to non-americans that the better call saul ads aren’t exaggerated for comedic effect they are super normie

#better call saul #[name rhyme] did someone hurt you? I’ll kill them. I’ll make them suffer. i’ll burn the world down until we are the last 2 in it #local lawyer tag

[hobgobknowsbest]

#goblincore #goblin vibes #cryptidcore #goblin culture #goblin things #goblin community #eldritchcore #goblin brain #goblin behaviour #goblin energy #goblin posting #local cryptid #will o the wisp

[magnetostits]

the barbenheimer experience i had was so funny i saw oppenheimer first and in a quiet scene we could literally hear ken singing in the theater next to us and then during barbie it when was quiet we could hear a fucking explosion coming from the oppenheimer screening

#literally everyone in the theater started laughing both times #barbenheimer #oppenheimer #barbie #ken #greta gerwig #christopher nolan #cillian murphy #margot robbie #rhis was the only time i was glad my local theater is a shithole #normally it’s so annoying hearing the show next to you #but this time it was hilarious

[fleuvien]

#girlhood #girlblogging #girlblogger #tumblr girls #old tumblr #fleuvien #this is what makes us girls #girlblog #it girl #just girly things #girl interrupted #lana del rey #black swan #hyper feminine #locally hated #ldr #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #lanadelrey #ultraviolence #nfr #bambi doe #doll #pinterest #just girly thoughts #just girly wishes #im just a girl #cinnamon girl #coquette #cool girl #tumblr girlies

[myjetpack]

a cartoon for the guardian

#cartoon #libraries #support local libraries #tom gauld

[yutaleks]

FYI I just came across a thread on twitter which says that an author shared on google docs an explicit story with a friend for beta reading and google removed the file due to violation of TOS (apparently it has been updated where you are not allowed to share anything with sexual content). Not sure if it’s just this instance or if it’s going to become a widespread thing but if you guys write in google docs MAKE BACK UPS!!

(Instagram link to the screenshots)

Edit: also wanted to add that it seems that Microsoft word has the same language in their TOS so onedrive is not a safe alternative!

#not trying to scare people but just a reminder to back up your fics locally !!!!!!!!!!!

[butchspace]

BDS has updated their calls for consumer boycotts to include: Chevron (and Texaco and Caltex by extension). Here is their most current boycott list.

They have also officially called for a boycott of McDonald’s. Here is their Instagram post on McDonald’s.

#Chevron was previously on the divestment list #also I believe BDS can have local chapters to check to see if your community has specific calls #and have chapters in other countries

[godbirdart]

so my apartment building got a notice board to post fire alarm tests and maintenance announcements and such. the building is pretty well-maintained, so we rarely get notices. the board is big and grey and to think it would be empty like that 99% of the time was a bland boring sin i just couldn't bear, so i vandalized the corner of its empty canvas with a teeny tiny Guy

and within a few days, there was a sudden addition from my one of my neighbors along with a Bunch of thumbtacks. this was an unexpected, but welcome surprise!

well there was still so much space, i figured i'd add another crumb to the art hoard. i'd been playing genshin that day so i drew my favorite grandpa

and like clockwork, new art manifested!! this person is gonna grow to be a great artist i know it. the detail in those stones? hell yeah that's cool.

we're two weeks into it. more neighbors have joined in with their artwork. who knew there were so many artists in my building?? we're onto somethin great here i just know it.

#had to censor one solely bc its a super local restaurant and i dont wanna doxx myself lmao #but i Love this

[yourangle-yuordevil]

Local goth cryptid goes through a tough breakup 😔

#good omens #good omens 2 #crowley #nina good omens #mrs sandwich #ineffable divorce #another day another breakup in Soho #crolwey drama queen <3 #NINA DAGLI LA MORTEEEEE111!!!!1(ONE)111!!! #demone locale sbrocca in maniera teatrale #NINA DACCI IL KAFFEEEEE

[gallusrostromegalus]

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.

Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.

There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.

I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.

However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."

For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."

I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."

Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.

The Gods were not merciful today.

It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.

Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.

So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.

The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.

My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.

Which is when the hail begins.

"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"

I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.

So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.

---

(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)

#Family Lore #Long Post #Local Man Experiences Local Weather

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

strange that "skinny" means thin. it should mean...skinny. characterized by skin. possessing or characterized by an above average amount of skin. more skin rather than less skin. but somehow it means less skin? preposterous

#*calls my local college English department* yes hello who is in charge here I have a complaint to make #yes a complaint of an etymological nature #what do u mean ur not in charge of that u r literally the English Department