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#the longer you look at it the funnier it gets trust me
dontexpectmuch · 1 year
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“please, amor, stop looking at me like i’m some piece of candy, ¡eso es raro!.” pablo whines, trying to cover his upper body with his arms the best he could.
cute, you think to yourself, he actually thinks that you like to look at his upper body? even though he did look good in that tight shirt that he wore to work out, you didn’t really focus on his defined torso, no. you liked to savor the sight of his muscular arms, his shoulders and his neck. but, he didn’t have to know.
“‘m not looking at your body like that, bebé, really.” you denied, getting up from the couch to press a kiss on his cheek, causing him to feel all giddy and blushy.
“why then are looking at me like i am some prey?” he questioned you, his oh so beloved arm sneaking around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.
humming, you smiled up at him,“i just really, really like you.”
pablo headbutts you gently, laughing at your words as he swings your bodies from side to side.
he just looked so good, if you’d hold back any longer you might explode. so, you simply give in to your impulsive thoughts and bite his neck.
“amor!” shock was painted on your boyfriends face, he jumped away from your bite, almost like a cat that got scared.
you bent over laughing, his face looked funnier than you had anticipated, “pab, what was that!?” tears filled up your eyes as you tried your best to calm down.
“not funny!” he pouted, crossing his beautiful arms over his chest, you couldn’t help but stare at them as you slowly calmed down.
“i’m sorry, love, really!” you apologize, trying to step closer to his boy again, though with every step you took in his direction, he took two steps back away from you, the coffee table now between you guys, creating some kind of border.
“i can’t trust you anymore!” he shakes his head, lips still pouting.
“please!”
“no!”
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i want to bite jamals neck sm
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jistagrams · 4 months
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Heyyyy I really LOVE your Riize text fics❤️❤️… I just recently started listening to them because of that one Sohee’s edit… idk if you know the one I’m talking about… THEYRE ALL SO FKINGG FOINEE!!! but please!!!!! 🤲🏽 I’d like to request an angst fic (if you’re accepting🧎🏽‍♀️) about my homeboy Wonbin that was drunk and cheated and is trying his best to get back with yn, like make him work hard to get her back but please let it have a fluffy ending cause as much as I love angst, I don’t want to cry at the ending lol… Thank you🫶🏽
of course 🙌 i love angst fics and thank uuu !💞
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parings: bf!wonbin x gf!reader
warnings: cheating, fluff near the end
you were anxious, scared, nervous. You couldn’t believe what you saw, why would he do that? how could he do that? you never thought of him as a cheater until your friend sent a video of your boyfriend, wonbin, making out with a girl at a party.
everything always happens at parties. When he came home you didn’t want to look him in the eyes, everything felt unreal. he looked guilty but he continued like he did nothing. you didn’t know how to bring it up, “oh i saw u sucking another girls face” , “so we’re cheating now?” , “why did you kiss her”. Nothing sounded right, a thousand thoughts went through your head at once, looking at him as he talked about the party from last night made you sick to your stomach, “sohee was there too, he was getting down on the dance floors” he laughed at remembering it as he changed from his clothes, the shirt the girl was gripping on. You just hummed, still thinking about the other girl. was she prettier? Was she funnier? what was so special about her? You couldn’t hold your tongue any longer, “why did you do that” you whispered, feeling tears start to fall, you didn’t even realize you were crying till he turned to you and wiped the tears that fell, “what do you mean?” He asked you, cocking his head to the side. You passed him your phone, all he had to do was unlock it and the video was shown. he felt his heart drop to his ass, shit. “yn..” he started to speak, “i just wanna know why” you said trying to sound like you weren’t on the verge of sobbing. he kneeled down infront of you, placing his hands on your legs. “Baby.. no yn, I genuinely apologize. I was drunk but that doesn’t even make it okay, that was horrible of me to do and I deeply apologize and regret it, i don’t know why i even did what i did. I just… did it” he pleaded with you, starting to tear up as well. You didn’t know what to say. feeling too many emotions at once, “still doesn’t make it ok” you mumbled, “i know..i know yn” he looked down, wiping his own tears. “Why her? Why couldn’t you just go home if you wanted to kiss someone?” You asked, crying even harder. “I don’t know.. she was just.. there. I didn’t want to leave either” his voice was quiet but he sounded sincere. “this makes me feel like shit” you laughed and wiped your tears. “I know, im so sorry yn, I’ll do whatever it takes to regain your trust I swear. I’ll stay until you forgive me, I want to fix this…do you?” He finally looked up at you, you knew you still loved him, how couldn’t you? But you were scared this would happen again. “Is it gonna happen again?” You asked him, he shook his head as in no, “I’ll never do it again, it’s sick of me to even do it in the first place” , “yea kinda evil of you bin” he smiled at your joke, “I’ll forgive you.. but ur gonna have to work hard to regain my trust” you smiled back at him, he showed his toothy smile at your words. Getting up from his knees and kissing your forehead, “I’ll do anything to stay with you baby, i love you too much.”
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tklpilled · 1 year
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lose myself in you
(ritsu, shou)
summary: maybe ritsu should start rethinking his relationships.
a/n: first mp100 fic wooo
[this is a sfw tickle fic!]
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The pros of becoming friends with Shou: having friends.
The cons: being friends with Shou.
Ritsu needs so many headache medicines.
“Oh, Ritsu~” coos Shou in that damn voice of his, and Ritsu tries to pretend it doesn’t affect him—like it doesn’t send heat rushing to the tips of his ears.
“Give me a break,” he says, forcing himself to sound level.
He can practically feel Shou’s pout. “I haven’t seen you much lately! I should make up for lost time, shouldn’t I?”
No, Ritsu wants to say, you definitely shouldn’t, but he made a mistake by not running the second he sensed a change in Shou’s mood, since now the redhead is pinning him down, Ritsu’s hands under his friend’s knees.
He always does this, every single time; leaves enough room for Ritsu to get away, only to tease him relentlessly when he doesn’t.
“Suzuki,” he tries to negotiate, but it proves to be futile when Shou vibrates his fingers into Ritsu’s ribs. 
“W-wAHAHAhahait—it tihickles—!” he gasps, squirming frantically to no avail.
He can just barely hear Shou’s crooning over his own laughter. “Your laugh is so cute, how am I ever supposed to stop?”
And it’s so much worse, because Ritsu is a stranger to tickling—ever since his parents stopped as he got older, and Shigeo was never the touchy type in the first place—but he’s even less accustomed to teasing. 
Ritsu doesn’t like being helpless. He hates it. So why, he yearns to know, isn’t he fighting back? Because he can. He’s perfectly capable of it, considering Shou knows his boundaries and always leaves him a way out, it’s just that Ritsu never takes it.
He manages to free one of his hands from underneath Shou, and then he promptly realises that he doesn’t know what to do with it (doesn’t want to do anything with it). Shou only laughs, and when Ritsu just leaves it there for a few moments longer, he takes it back in his grasp.
Ritsu is having fun, and he has no idea why.
He thinks it might be because he’s, at the very least, given an escape route. He isn’t completely helpless. He thinks it could be because it’s Shou, who he trusts, and something about it feels natural. He thinks a lot of things, but he forgets them all in favour of focusing on Shou’s wiggling, electrifying, torturous fingers. 
“Poor Ritsu,” coos Shou. Mockingly. “You’re just too ticklish, aren’t you?”
“St—ahahaha! Dahahamn yohou!”
Shou’s fingers curl around his waist, pressing into his sides. “You could get out of this so easily, you know. You are a psychic.”
Ritsu makes a noise of protest. “Cahaha—cahan’t focus,” he weakly defends himself, making Shou grin. 
“I never get to hear you laugh,” Shou sighs, massaging his thumbs into Ritsu’s hips and acting casual, as if Ritsu isn’t squealing under him. “You should do it more often!”
“Ahaha—absolutely nohohohot!” Ritsu cries, and for his own sake he ignores the warmth spreading over his cheeks. It’s not like Shou is wrong. He doesn’t properly laugh very often. That doesn’t mean Shou has to torment him like this, though. Maybe he should try being funnier or something.
(Ritsu voiced this to his friend, once, only to end up in a fit of laughter—and it was not because Shou took his advice.)
Ritsu knows the main reason Shou does this is because he finds it amusing when he gets flustered. Which isn’t fair, because it’s even easier to embarrass Shou; Ritsu once thanked him and he’d turned bright red, although it could just be that Ritsu is hardly ever nice to him.
“Gohod dahahamn it!” Ritsu groans, trying not to look like he’s enjoying this, which is a difficult task, considering the uncontrollable laughter spilling out of him.
“You’re sensitive everywhere, huh?” Shou giggles, scribbling all ten fingers on Ritsu’s stomach.
Ritsu snorts, making Shou gasp in excitement and causing his face to feel hot. “I’m nohohot! Ihi—stohop! I hahate yohou!”
Shou shows no signs of mercy. “It’s your own fault for being so ticklish, really,” he shrugs, dead set on breaking Ritsu down into a pile of giggles. Which he has already succeeded in doing, so there’s no reason to keep going.
Ritsu is a mess by now, he wouldn’t be able to stop laughing if he tried. He’s sure his hair is a wreck, too, and he has the urge to fix it but Shou always tells him that it’s cute. 
He’s too caught up in his own embarrassment to notice Shou reaching back—until he scratches behind his knee, and Ritsu completely shuts down.
“S-Suhuhu—Suhuzukihihi!” he gasps. “Stohohop thahat! I’ll—k-kihill yohohou!”
“Oh?” says Shou, in a voice that sends chills down Ritsu’s back. “Don’t tell me you’ve been hiding this spot from me?”
“N-nohoho, no,” Ritsu tries to bargain. “Just—nohot there, nohohot thehere!”
Shou curls his fingers into the skin. “Not where, huh? Not here?”
“F-fuhuhucking mohove!” Ritsu snarls, and he tries to sound threatening but he can’t. It apparently has the exact opposite effect, judging by how Shou smirks and pointedly does not move. He’d been so desperately hoping that Shou never found out about that spot, because he knew that he’d never know a moment of peace after that. He was right, it seems, as proven by the absolute torture he’s going through now. 
And then it stops.
Ritsu catches his breath, taking a moment before he blinks open his eyes, only to see Shou hovering above him.
They stare at each other for a second before Shou bursts out laughing. “Was—was it so bad I forced you into using your powers?” he giggles.
Ritsu grumbles in embarrassment, then releases his powers (he cringes at the sound of something else falling on the ground—it seems Shou wasn’t the only thing he accidentally lifted) and lets Shou land on top of him. He wastes no time wrapping his arms around the boy, trapping him while squeezing at the sides of his stomach. Because, while the chance to exploit it doesn’t come often, Shou is nearly as ticklish as Ritsu himself is.
For a while after that, the room is filled with laughter that Ritsu definitely doesn’t find endearing, and for as much as Shou teased him, he really didn’t fight back at all.
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skylarsblue · 2 years
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Michael's reaction to s/o being sarcastic.
Oh boy, first request, let's not panic-
(TW: None, I think aside from me cursing, but, I cuss in practically everything I write) Michael Myers (OG)
Michael's a bit of a deadpan humor type. And he does have humor! I remember that whole ghost-sheet incident! As silent & plain faced as he is, he finds things funny.
His type of humor often involved sarcasm, though he doesn’t speak, his body language will often have an air of sass to them. Subtle changes in his facial expression that portray this.
Your sarcasm, when directed at others, amuses him. The more straight faced you remain the better. It’s even better if the person you’re being sarcastic with gets genuinely angry. The longer you hold your ground, the funnier. He wants to see you destroy someone’s soul with a straight face.
Now, sarcasm directed at him, will have a 50/50 shot of making him put you in your place. Something small and playful won’t bother him, but if you start bossing him around, acting like a brat (or his definition of one), he will make sure you remember he’s in charge.
With a sigh you wrapped Michael’s hand, carefully holding the gauze pad over his busted knuckles. Trying to ensure it wasn’t tied too tightly. “You’re gonna lose your fingers someday, you know that?” You muttered, knowing he wouldn’t respond. Michael stared silently as you snipped the end of the bandages, using some sports tape to keep the edge down. You used your teeth to tear open a bandaid, reaching to his jaw, gently pressing the adhesive strip on a small cut. His mask wasn’t fully off. He hadn’t gotten to that point of trust yet. He’d taken it off before, but he’d never leave it off, even when sleeping. Thankfully, you never pressured him, so he didn’t grow upset. You tossed the trash into the bin beside the sink and looked him in the eyes. “You gonna try and be more careful this time?” Michael did nothing to give you a response. You let out a scoff-mixed-laugh, rolling your eyes. “Thank you, Mikey. Your words speak so much, so poetic, really. Quite the encyclopedia!” You spoke, a small smile present. “Hey!” Michael flicked your forehead with his large hand. You rubbed the space with a pout. “Rude.” He let out an amused breath from his nose at your complaints.
Peepaw Myers (Halloween Kills)
Now this Michael is less lenient. He’s old. He has no patience anymore. He doesn’t need some young person being a little shit, expecting to get away with it. He is the Haddonfield Boogeyman! You do not sass Mr.Myers!
Unless you’re sassing someone else. Then he’ll just be amused. He doesn’t like when people interact with you, but, in order to afford all the supplies you use to patch him up, you need to be a member of society. He knows this. He doesn’t like it though.
Watching you get someone riled up while working customer service satisfies a want for mischief he has. An inner child somewhere in that dark, old soul is giggling away as you put a Karen in her place.
Being sarcastic with him will always get you punished though. Sometimes it’s a small warning. A low, quiet noise(a hum or growl). A change in his gaze. A small pinch on the ass. But, if you keep it up, he will bring out the brat tamer. Now, if that’s something sexual between you two, is up to you.
This Michael is roughest. He will not hesitate to grab at your throat after pinning you to a wall, leaning close and staring through your soul until you apologize for your insolence. He’ll smack you on the ass too, hard, it’ll probably leave a mark. And if it’s a kink thing? Bro, your legs are gonna be useless for a week.
You washed Michael’s most recently used knife in the sink. At this point, the blood washing down the drain had become a blur. You zoned out as you mechanically cleaned the blade of death & finger prints, trying to make it sanitary for kitchen use again. Michael was eating currently. Sat at his usual spot at the kitchen island. You’d called off work today, a few days in advance, wanting to make it a four day weekend. Things had gotten a bit stressful since October was nearing. Michael always got a bit antsy around the end of November, you wanted the bit of peace you could before shit hit the fan. You jolted when the phone that was mounted on the wall began ringing, thankfully not cutting yourself on the blade. You set it down, patting your hands dry before you walked over. Thinking nothing of it, really. Most people didn’t call the home phone, you were prepared to tell a solicitor to fuck off or whatever necessary. Michael’s gaze in your back felt familiar.
“Hello?” You answered, placing the phone to your ear. Your manager’s voice came through the speaker, making your ears hurt. He was a prick, really. “I need you to come in today.” He said. You turned the phone on speaker and leaned against the kitchen wall. “I already told you I’m taking this day off. You had half a week of warning.” You replied. Of course, the poor excuse of management then began rambling about how they were short staffed, how it was your duty to come in. You’d wanted to quit this job for a while, especially with a new position at a different location already being processed. Michael watched as your patience drained.
“Oh. My. God! You mean to tell me the lunch rush is difficult?! Oh what an absolute shock! I can’t believe you actually have to get off your ass and help your staff, what a travesty! Oh whoa is me, I have to do my job!” You spoke, voice dripping with a fake sympathy, absolutely mocking him. “Tell you what, Keith! How about you complain to your mom, because I’m sure she’d love to hear about what a little whiny bitch you are. I told you I’m taking today off! Whatever happens there, today, the day I’m off? Not my issue. Now excuse me,” you looked at Michael as a smile graced your face. “I think I will be making brownies. Buh bye!” Michael visibly perked up at the mention of chocolate. You chuckled. “I just got fired for sure. Oh well, you wanted to stab him anyway, didn’t you?” You asked. Michael sighed and you chuckled. “Just try not to track his blood in the house, will ya?”
Michael Myers (Rob Zombie)
This Michael appreciates your sarcasm the most. Even when it’s directed at him, most of the time, it amuses him. Because he has the same demeanor! Especially when he was younger. A blond ball of sassy angst.
Watching you be sarcastic with others is his favorite pastime when stalking you. The meaner you are, the more likely you are to actually get him to smile, at least on the inside.
Being sarcastic with him will essentially start a sass battle. It’s strange how much he can convey when he’s silent and stoic, but it really comes through. It’ll cause a back & forth that’s seemingly one sided. But you know Michael, it’s very much a two sided “argument”.
The more playful you get with it, the better. He enjoys it. If anyone of the Michael’s has an inner child that’s hurt? It’s this one, and he often enjoys when you can bring that side out of him, as long as you two are alone in your home. So play with him a bit. As long as you’re careful at what you poke fun at, he’s all for it, he finds it fun.
You rubbed your face as the woman complained about the costumes available in the Halloween store. This job was temporary, a simple part time second job to help pay for a newly purchased car that you finally managed to get. Still, retail was hell. This was why. You looked around as the woman continued her rant, eyes landing on a large figure barely poking out from behind a large yard decoration. It took everything in your body not to snicker. Michael somehow blended in perfectly amongst the haunted robots, like he was part of the merchandise. You knew he’d followed you that day, you’d been complaining about your job, and he wanted to ensure no one needed to be…taught a lesson, for lack of a better term. Now he saw what you were complaining about. Michael would’ve complained too, if he was in your position. He internally smiled when he saw your eyes roll back into your skull, a dramatic showing of your loss of patience.
“Are you even listening?!” The woman exclaimed. Her voice was scratchy and high pitched, like running knifes on a glass pane. Your gaze fell back to her. Blank facial expression, tired eyes. “Not really, no. Look ma’am, if you don’t like those costumes, don’t buy’em.” You shrugged. The woman let out a scoff. “My daughter wants to be an angel, I checked every angel costume you have, they’re all so, so, disgusting!” Your sigh held nothing but exhaustion. Michael listened intently as you leaned a bit on the counter. “My apologies ma’am, I am so sorry for the inconvenience…” “Thank you! Now, will you p-“
“Of me not giving a single fuck what you wanna complain about. I am so sorry that your POOR CHRISTIAN EYES have been subjected to cheap fabric costumes that show SKIN! God forbid your teenage daughter expose her LEGS! Oh! The smallest hint of shoulder and she’ll be called the town whore! I completely understand and sympathize. What can I do to get you to shut the fuck up and leave? Might I offer you to bring my coworker over so we can assist in taking Judas’ walking stick out of your poor holy-southern ass? Perhaps we can tell you where the nearest church is, so you may get on your knees and suck Jesus’ dick in hopes to cleanse your soul of this twenty buck FILTH of a costume!”
Her face was pure mortification. Jaw dropped low, eyes full of shock and disgust. It was glorious. Utterly beautiful. And your outburst managed to pull a silent chuckle from the stone-cold killer, Michael Audrey Myers. You leaned on the counter. “Now, you wanna get your daughter an angel costume or are we gonna have this problem again?” The woman let out a noise of offense. “I will never come back here ever again!” “Thank. Fuck.” You spat. The woman promptly left, storming off with her cheeks burning red with rage. You sighed and hid your face in your hands, groaning in exhaustion until the sound of something being placed on the counter made you look up. You huffed a small laugh. “Will that be all for you sir?” You asked as you scanned the Halloween candy. Michael held out three dollars, crumpled badly from his pocket. The three dollars you’d found missing from your purse. It was two dollars short but you put it in the cash register anyway. “Enjoy your candy, and I like your mask.” You replied with a smile, knowing the cameras would only make this seem like an avid Halloween fan buying candy. You leaned closer to whisper. “I get off in fifteen minutes. If you want, head home and cover the living room in blankets. I wanna binge pizza and horror movies.” You said. Michael’s pupils grew wide as he grabbed the candy and went to leave. You chuckled again and placed your chin in your palm, watching the clock, hoping fifteen minutes would go by faster.
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pixiemage · 2 years
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On that anon ask of martyn in hc Id like to think it'd be even funnier if martyn doesn't make a hermitcraft vid and instead is just in bdubs and rens videos with no explanation and have his rivalry with bdubs and sometimes he just appears in the background of other hermits vids like a fuckin cryptid ajajcjx
[Regarding the concept of Martyn joining HC9 solely to start a comedic rivalry with Bdubs over being King Ren’s right-hand man]
You know what? You're right, and you should say it. He doesn't make a single video. Not one. Just - one day Bdubs' episode comes out, and he's doing some big schpiel about plans for the "kingdom" or whatever, and then he's unceremoniously interrupted by Martyn just being like "Hey, hold on, who said you were in charge here? Ren's the king around here, and I've been his Hand for way longer than you, buddy boy."
No explanation, no intro, no "InTheLittleWood joined the game" no NOTHING he's just there
Ren's planning out quests, and Martyn just suddenly appears at his shoulder and starts giving him ideas, and Ren's like "Ohhh yeah, you're so right my dude." and doesn't bat an eye
And - yes - fucking cryptid vibes, shows up in the background of other videos, rarely interacts with anyone else. Cub keeps catching glimpses up him and can't seem to convince people that he's real. Grian sees him once, makes some stray joke about him falling through the Rift, and never mentions it again. Scar is like "Oh! It's Martyn!" and doesn't question his presence there. Impulse and Tango somehow end up with Red Army banners at their bases (they don't call them that, the banners just happen to look EXACTLY the same) and never really bring up the fact that they're there. Xisuma, in a video, is like "I keep getting questions about a new member, but...we haven't added anyone this season. Trust me, I would know." and while he says this, Martyn goes by in the background, and Xisuma apparently can't even see him there.
We see Martyn stream on Hermitcraft ONCE and it's an ENTIRE stream of him plotting ways to piss off Bdubs, and that's IT. He doesn't answer questions of how/when he joined, he doesn't comment on how long he'll be there, he ignores questions about him sticking around for Season 10, he just plays dumb about the whole damn thing
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justme315 · 7 months
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42). "You can't tell anyone else about me!"
"You can't tell anyone else about me!"
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Meet Hel (the first one, currently 20 years old) and Mary (the secound one, currently 18)!!
!Warning!:
Abuse, undressing (not sexual), panic, wounds, fear of dying, curse words, mention: unaliving an abuser
---------------------
Hel was a 9 years old girl when she meet her best friend - Mary. Them meeting is a different story, a much funnier one.
You see.. Hel was human, Mary - wasn't.
She was a borrower, and even younger than her friend, because she was only 7 years old when they met.
Their friendship was something special, from the moment they met, they spent a lot of time together - it wasn't difficult at all, since they lived in the same house, Hel with always busy parents, and Mary with her mother and stepfather, who were not.. well- the best home for a child.
Their friendship developed over the years until that one day..
The girls were already 15 and 13 years old then. They had known each other for a long time now and trusted each other with their lives. There was no longer even the possibility that something bad could happen. Or at last, that's what they though. Hel had always been very careful and gentle, and Mary was loud enough and trusted her friend alot that their relationship was an exemplary teenage friendship, between a human and a borrower.
Hel was doing her history homework at her desk. She almost didn't notice that Mary had just come out of the tunnel in the wall.
"Hi Hells" Mary mumbled, her voice sounding somehow wrong, somehow too painful. Hel's eyes immediately turned to her friend, who normally didn't come to her at this hour, and they widened at what they saw.
"Mary?!" Hel panicked seeing that her friend was covered in blood and various wounds "W-what happened?!"
"S-stepdad had a b-bad day.." Mary held on to a textbook to keep from collapsing. Blood was flowing from her nose and a wound on her head. The same can be said about her hands and the cut T-shirt, which from every angle looked at least as if someone had just tried to stab her.
"Is he fucking mental?!" The human cupped her hands around her friend.
"We both know that h-he is.." Mary tried to laugh, but only coughed up blood. Hel lifted her higher, closer to her, examining the wounds on her body.
"I'm gonna fucking kill that bastard!" the older teen couldn't help but be angry. That asshole had no right even touch her best friend not speaking of harming her!
Maybe he should stand in front of her, then he'd feel what it was like to be weak, what it was to suffer.
"Sorry cupcake, but I c-came here not-" borrower cought with blood "-to plan the death of t-this idiot, but-" she coughed again "-for you to bandage me up."
"Yeah, yeah, sorry" Hel corrected herself, putting Mary on one of her palms and opening the drawer with the other and taking out plasters and bandages. "For this, unfortunately, you have to undress, little one."
Mary took off her shirt and pants, showing the wounds her stepfather made to the light of day. They came in all shapes, colors and sizes you could think of. Hel couldn't help the tears welling up in her eyes. While washing the wounds with hydrogen peroxide, she whispered softly 100 ways to kill Mary's stepfather. Mary chuckled at that but her head hurting made it not last more than a few secounds.
Mary's head hurt more and more and she felt faint from the loss of blood and wounds. "Hells, I'm getting weak..." she muttered.
"Holy crap" Hel couldn't control herself, she was starting to panic. Her friend had never had such serious injuries before. In addition, now Hel was having trouble stopping the bleeding, especially from the wound on her back, which was very deep. "Don't you dare faint, little one" she begged, thinking about what she could do to help her. "I can't do it by myself.."
"What..?" Mary shuddered, hoping she'd misheard because of the loss of blood. Her eyes started to become more and more heavy.
"Mary, I can't help you on my own," Hel explained "I have to ask someone for help because it's really, really bad-"
"You can't tell anyone else about me!" Mary yelled with the last of her strength "I can't go to humans, they're dangerous, I can't risk it, they'll kill me!"
"Mary, please. You're bleeding out. It's really bad and I am not able help you" Hel explained "My aunt is around, the one I told you about, she's great, she'll help us, she raised me all my life, I trust her" the girl assured with concern in her voice, terrified that so much blood had already spilled from someone as small as her friend. She was afraid of losing her.
"Y-you don't understand! Humans are dangerous! They are murderers! I can't, I don't want to... Hel, we are friends, how can you want to put me in front of these beasts?!"
"I am human" Hel's voice was cold and full of sadness. Mary flinched at that answer.
"But y-you're not like them.." Mary tried to defend her point, but she had no strength left, her body wanted to collapse, she felt that these wounds were too deep for her to come out unscathed.
"There is a "them" now?" the larger teen's voice cracked. She had never had such a conversation with her friend before. When they met, they promised each other that neither of them would ever tell anyone about their friendship. It was their little pact. But Hel had never thought Mary really thought so badly of humans. But that wasn't the most important thing now. The girl was getting weaker by the moment and needed help. Hel grabbed the phone and started searching her contacts for auntie Hyphatia's number.
"Hel, if you do this, it will be the end of our friendship!" Mary cried, terrified of what her friend was doing. She trusted Hel, but she absolutely did not and would not trust any other human. She knew what these beasts were capable of. She knew she might be being written off, so she reached for the darkest and dirtiest card, the "Hells, please, don't do this" emotional game.
"I'm sorry, little one, but I care more that you're alive than that you continue to be my friend" the first tear fell from Mary's right eye "I love you too much to lose you" added Hel, her tone soft and sad, calling her auntie "I promise that my aunt won't hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again".
Mary then fainted.
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Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed it! Introducing two new heroines/characters from my universes. You can still ask questions or give ideas from my various stories, especially regarding these two girls and their story! See ya♥️
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I was listening to some real people comedians (as in, local comedians whom I have met in real life, and can therefore not be considered to have in any way “made it” in comedy, because if they had then they would not be hanging out around me) talk the other day, and they were discussing the concept of “laughs per minute”, and whether it’s a bullshit way to judge comedy. Which I think it usually is, depending on the context. In a really short club set, it probably does matter a lot because you don’t have time to do more than that. In a Stewart Lee Edinburgh hour, he can go 35 minutes setting something up and everyone will just trust that the punchline at the end will be worth it.
Anyway, it got me thinking about the concept, and how I judge comedy in lots of different ways, and what has made me laugh the most – both in terms of most laughs per minute and hardest laughs overall – is not exactly the same as my favourite comedy shows ever. But anything that manages any kind of notable laughs per minute rating is impressive, because lots of shows I really like never clear that bar. If we define a “laugh” as something outwardly expressed and audible, more than just a smile and a nose exhale, then it doesn’t actually happen all that often. I’ll consider a show very successful if it gets me to do that just a few times across an hour.
So I’ve tried to think of what comedy shows have successfully gotten more than that, have made me properly laugh out loud really consistently for their entire runtime (whether that’s an hour or 15 minutes, though obviously it’s more impressive if they can sustain it for longer). If I’m thinking about this across my whole life, I have to take into account the fact that everything’s funnier when you’re a kid, you haven’t already seen every obvious joke so nothing is hack or overdone. I remember the shows I was into as a kid (ages 7 to 14 or so, I think) as the funniest things in the entire world, I used to watch every episode over and over and over. The main ones on rotation being Flying Circus, Blackadder, Fawlty Towers, Mr. Bean, Ripping Yarns, Yes Minister, M*A*S*H, and Cheers.
Now, at 33, I can understand why it’s annoying to have the parrot sketch memorized – because it’s been quoted so often than at this point repeating it is almost like, for example, trying to sell someone something that's long dead and nailed to a perch. At nine, I could recite every word in it, over and over for hours, and it never stopped being funny. As an adult, I’m still pretty sure Blackadder was a work of genius, but I don’t think I’ll ever again find anything as funny as I found Hugh Laurie’s acting power stance when I was eleven years old. I used to wake up at 5:30 AM to watch a few episodes of whatever show I was re-watching at the moment (my list of shows on rotation was heavily determined by what was in my parents’ DVD boxset collection), until I could mouth along to all the lines but they never got less funny.
I did re-watch every episode of all those British shows in 2020 (so everything but M*A*S*H and Cheers, though I’ve rewatched a few episodes of both those recently as well) to see how they held up, and while they didn’t make me cry with laughter the way I did as a kid, I still thought almost all of them were very good. And by “almost all of them”, I mean… look, I think Mr. Bean is just meant to be a kids’ show. I loved it when I first watched it, because that shit’s hilarious when you’re a kid. As an adult, it looked like a kid’s show with a few genuinely funny moments. The turkey on the head is still funny. Playing with the toy Daleks in the Christmas store is still funny. My family still watches the Christmas special every year on that holiday. The rest of it we can probably leave behind.
Anyway, the point is that you can’t count that because I was a kid. Then I think of my favourite comedy shows that I got into as a teenager. Major ones to come to mind are The Thick of It, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Community, Arrested Development, Flight of the Conchords, Freaks and Geeks. My favourite comedy shows of my twenties: Bojack Horseman, Veep, Archer, Brooklyn Nine Nine, The Good Place, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Portlandia, Broad City, Party Down, Bob’s Burgers. I supposed I should add a mention of my mixed and up-and-down longterm relationship with South Park.
I remember a lot of things I’ve loved about those shows besides pure laughs per minute – the characters, the ideas, the atmosphere. I’d go back to certain shows over and over just because I liked the way it made me feel to spend time in the world they created. But for pure, really hard, out-loud laughs? Looking at that list, I think the ones to get the most of those out of me were The Thick of It, Veep, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, and maybe when they were at their best, Portlandia, Archer, and Community could do it. But not all the time. There isn’t really that long a list of comedies that have consistently made me laugh really hard once I wasn’t a kid anymore.
Anyway, that isn’t actually what I was thinking about that made me decide to write this post. The conversation I heard from local comedians, about laughs per minute, made me think of what has done that to me in my thirties, the few years since COVID occurred and I decided to not do anything except British comedy. I have seen and heard and read so much comedy in the last few years, and I have really really loved quite a lot of it. So I was surprised when I realized that I think, if you judge it entirely by out-loud laughs per minute, there aren’t a huge number that come to mind as consistently providing a high rate of those.
In terms of full-length stand-up hours, I think there might still be no one who’s gotten more proper laughs per minute out of me than Rhod Gilbert. All four of his DVD shows are incredible – I think I’d say the first one (The Award Winning Mince Pie) is my favourite, though I might just have a soft spot for the first one I saw, when I first had my eyes opened to that captivating style.
I hesitate a little to comment on his health from the perspective of how much I love his comedy specials, because I don’t want to make something as serious as a person’s life or death about whether I’ll get to hear more comedy specials (I feel the same way about Mark Steel’s current situation – I did make a post a while ago in which I said he has to recover for the sake of Radio Four, but obviously, he has to recover for the sake of himself and his family, even his annoying son, I wish them all the best and it’s not about the comedy fans). But for everyone’s sake, mainly his, God am I ever glad he’s back and by all accounts okay. He’s said he was diagnosed with cancer the day after he recorded his latest special, and you can really tell in that video that he was being slowed down and struggled to match his usual frantic energy levels, but it was still brilliant.
Anyway, I think Rhod Gilbert still wins at laughs per minute from me in stand-up. Proper laughter. Laughing so hard I can’t breathe and have to pause the video so I don’t miss the next bit and end up with tears in my eyes and my throat and stomach hurt. I think Rhod Gilbert has done that to me the most. I’ve tried to think of whose stand-up material might do that to me the second most, and I’m slightly annoyed that I think the main two names that come to mind are Sam Campbell and Nish Kumar. Slightly annoyed because when I look at those two names alongside Rhod Gilbert… okay, is it possible that I might just like being shouted at?
I’m now trying to think of a non-shouty comic who’s done that to me. Kitson, obviously. I think my favourite stand-up hour ever is Daniel Kitson’s Where Once Was Wonder, which is fucking incredible for its ability to get every single aspect right. Brilliant on an emotional level, hitting multiple themes and topics that all have deep emotional resonance and saying original and significant things about them. Brilliant on an intellectual level – every time I listen to it I marvel at the number of layers in its structure, how its conceit of being full of contradictions is embedded in almost every line, how I catch more each time and he points lots of them out but throws even more away. And crucially, brilliant on a humour level. It is consistently, all the way through, hilarious. He probably never goes ten minutes without at least one bit that makes my whole body seize up from laughter until I can’t breathe right.
But honestly, most of the Kitson things that have gotten the highest laugh per minute out of me were not the intricately written shows. I wince at how much he would hate this, but probably, at laughs per minute from me, some of his 2007-2008 Graveyard Triple R radio shows beat some of his best proper stand-up shows. Same with some of his WIP/pre-WIP just messing around shows. There’s some audio footage of a 2007 Late ‘n’ Live night where Daniel Kitson and Andy Zaltzman do an incredibly stupid sketch that has put tears of laughter in my eyes. If you want to know what level of humour we're talking about, that sketch contains the line "That was three ladies booing my dick because it chose the wrong member of We Are Klang to fuck" (which it did, by the way, by which I mean Andy Zaltzman chose wrong while portraying the role of Daniel Kitson's penis, but not for the reasons that this Greg Davies-fancying website would expect, if you'd heard the Triple R shows with Steve Hall you'd understand. He then went on to choose the wrong member of Pappy's Fun Club, what does Andy Zaltzman know about the most attractive members of the most successful British fringe comedy sketch groups of 2007?). It's definitely not better than properly written Kitson shows, or Zaltzman shows, for that matter. But it might have made me laugh out loud more times.
I think It’s the Fireworks Talking is one of the best pieces of performance ever written, but recordings I’ve heard of that have probably made me laugh fewer times than a recording I’ve heard from the Melbourne Festival of when he finished performing It’s the Fireworks Talking and then went into a radio studio to talk shit with David and Claudia O’Doherty all night. Or than the Zaltzman/Kitson penis sketch, put together with everything else from that Late 'n' Live recording.
I know I’m not saying anything new here; I’m hardly the first person to point out that Daniel Kitson is absolutely fucking hilarious when he’s messing around with no script. Lots of people have pointed it out before me, and he has clearly heard those people point it out, as he’s often mentioned that it annoys him, and understandably so. What’s the point of working so hard on proper shows if people just like your unplanned stuff better?
But I don’t think I actually like that stuff better. I don’t think his radio shows are better than It’s the Fireworks Talking (I sort of don’t think penicillin is better than It’s the Fireworks Talking). And this is where I come back to the fact that laughs per minute are not the best way to judge a show (I’d like to clarify at this point that It’s the Fireworks Talking did have quite a high laughs per minute rate out of me, just not as high as Kitson and some O’Doherties getting weirdly competitive about indie music at 3 AM).
Anyway. I think Sam Campbell recently became the first person to make me laugh so hard that I had tears in my eyes, from hearing something that was performed in 2023. He did that with some of his recent stand-up. On Taskmaster he has, more than once, made me laugh loud enough to cause a cat to run across the room (I’m currently catsitting and one of the cats gets easily spooked by sudden noise, so whether I make her jump is a good gauge of whether something’s made me laugh out loud). But only his stand-up has actually made me cry.
I’ve been lucky enough to get to hear quite a bit of recent stand-up in the last couple of months. I’ve really liked a lot of it, but I’m now trying to think of how much of it has actually made me consistently laugh out loud, which is several steps beyond just being funny. I think the only people who’ve done that are Sam Campbell, Olga Koch, Nish Kumar, Greg Larsen, Sarah Keyworth, and Fern Brady. Which actually isn’t that short a list, but it’s a shorter list than the list of comedians I’ve enjoyed at all in the last couple of months.
Anyway, I didn’t start writing this post because of stand-up. I started writing this post because of a conversation I heard some comedians have the other day, but I started thinking of that conversation, and decided I wanted to write a post about that conversation, because I was re-watching some No More Jockeys today. And fucking hell, I have to say, this is supporting the theory that laughs per minute can come so much from unscripted shows that it could justifiably make comedians despair as they wonder what the point is of honing their craft. I’ve listened to a bunch of Tim Key’s properly written stuff in the last few days (went on a bit of a binge of his radio show and some of his old stand-up), absolutely loved it, it’s intelligent and funny and very well written stuff, but it still didn’t make me laugh out loud quite as hard as No More Jockeys does. Almost nothing makes me laugh out loud quite as hard as No More Jockeys does.
I tried to think of some non-stand-up thing that makes me laugh as hard/loud/often as No More Jockeys. The Bugle has managed it, at its best. I've only heard a few episodes of Pappy's Fun Club, but that's done it at times. Catsdown at its best has accomplished it.
The main thing I can think of that's done it really consistently is Taskmaster, but even that probably loses to NMJ at laughs per minute. It’s up there, though. Beats a lot of scripted sitcoms at it, including some really good scripted sitcoms. So from Taskmaster and No More Jockeys, you get the laughs, and the fun of getting emotionally invested in following a competitive game. Why are people still bothering to craft well written sitcom worlds?
This post has been massively disjointed, I think I've hit about six different topics since I've started, somehow including who's the most attractive member of Pappy's Fun Club. I finally have a weekend to myself and have decided I feel like writing things again, and it's started with this. I don't think there was any point to it. All I was really trying to say is I can't believe how fucking funny No More Jockeys is.
Mark Watson desperately, pleadingly trying to argue with Alex Horne about whether Donald Duck has been to prison – I'm sorry but I don't think Rowan Atkinson has done anything funnier than that in his entire life. He's done lots of things that are better than that. But not that can make me laugh harder than that while I'm over the age of 30.
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thegeminisage · 3 days
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ok ok ok it's star trek update time. last time we watched tng's "liaisons" and ds9's "the circle."
liaisons (tng):
the summary of this one put me off soooo bad but i actually give it an enthusiastic pass because i loved the b plot but conned myself into also liking the a plot. allow me to explain
the b plot of this is of course the fantastic riker e worf e deanna showing the ambassadors a good time on the enterprise. this arc satisfied me from start to finish because it started with riker telling worf he looked good in a dress and finished with worf beating that annoying guy's face in, and in the middle there was also a poker game and whatever the FUCJ was happening in their little meeting room which was extremely fun and flirty
i have not forgotten btw that worf e deanna is supposed to happen in s7. im so sorry the actors hated it but rn it is Fueling me. bring it on.
the a plot is more complicated and the summary of this plot is what initially put me off
like, of Course it's picard and a woman. again.
here's what i didn't know: one, this woman was batshit insane and not to be trusted, and 2, she wasn't real but a fake roleplay character made by this alien. who is a man
THAT MEANS. NOT ONLY DID PICARD FINALLY GET HIS OWN CLOSE ENOUNTER
BUT IT WAS WITH A MAN
picard has canonically kissed a man. or um been kissed by one i guess
and all of that would have been just borderline and barely ekeing out with a pass EXCEPT
i had the thought near the end of this episode: q would be absolutely SICK
as we know. the funniest thing about q and indeed perhaps his only redeeming factor. is how bad he wants to fuck sir patrick stewart. which gets ONLY FUNNIER the more that sir patrick stewart is like, i would fuck literally anyone else in the galaxy first
and now here picard is, having liplocked with another guy, and he STILL hasn't fucked q. i spent so long giggling about this that i simply must give the episode a passing grade
also, i would like to note i figured out they were the same person before the episode told us. i am JUST that good
the circle (ds9):
KIRA MY BELOVED.....................................
absolutely tickled to pieces with the ensemble scene at the opening. first we had this nice little prolonged kira and odo moment 😍 which was so wonderful because of their like general dynamic and history being hinted at and then EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE CAST SAVE SISKO got their sitcom intro. it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. they were like, you simply cannot be dismissing major kira unfairly. so true. once again it is so cathartic to see them rallying around her whether they're federation or not. literally treating her really niceys
AND SISKO! his little scene with her in the garden down on the planet...wah. he's literally constantly trying to get her back. his support even when she's no longer technically working for him...EVERYBODY treats her really niceys
um except that vedek guy...idk whether he's on the level or not and i DID NOT like whatever sexy stuff was going on in that orb vision. putting aside the hilarious reality of orbs in general for a second are the prophets saying she has to fuck that guy? not my beautiful queen.
um and also except the circle. i didnt actually see the plot twist coming this time about that minister guy being in on it which is very fun. also i'm sooo glad they staged a speedy rescue
ODO THE RAT! i love when he turns into stuff
also odo blackmailing quark into being his deputy lol i LOOOOVE what they have it's SO funny
anyway i hope vedek winn chokes on her oatmeal when she finds out the cardassians are funding her little r*n d*santis campaigns. i thought that was a fun plot twist if not very surprising ultimately like of COURSE they are. it's crazy how relevant some of this still is
and on a final note, i like that sisko has chosen to Rules Lawyer his way into disobeying the prime directive because it is the right thing to do here. GOOD FOR HIM!
tonight: tng's "interface" and ds9's "the siege," finally concluding this little three-parter.
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Look I can't control what you do but I don't think you should watch the new leaked episode of owl house. It's disrespectful to Dana and to the crew who worked hard to make the episode. Plus the actual episode will come out in two weeks and if you waited this long you can wait a little longer.
Did you read the part where I said that the third season literally never came to my country?
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I literally can't "support" the people behind the show in any fucking way that isn't waiting... how long? One year, two years until they finally release the episodes here? The only way I could watch the first episode of the third season AT ALL was being pirated. Dude, I already managed to teach myself English precisely so I wouldn't be left behind when this kind of thing happened because, trust me, it happens A LOT and pirating is the only thing that allows some of us to watch the media that you apparently can get with no further issues all you want. If you have a problem with someone trying to keep up with this show, take it with Disney+ because they haven't released fucking anything where I am and for leaking the episode in the first place. Not with people just literally trying to enjoy the same things you do the only way they are able to. Also, like, the fuck do you know if the people watching that leaked episode aren't going to watch it too on the official platforms when it's up? When that third season comes I will be happy to watch it again because the spanish dub is funnier to me, but I am not going to wait however fucking long that is going to take for some fucked up sense of "direspectful" when I literally have no fucking control over my access to the show. Fuck off.
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destinyc1020 · 1 year
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Whew chiiiile the meltdowns online over Timothée and Kylie lol!! 🤣
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Oh my gosh..... the think pieces.... the dissertations.... the claiming it's just "PR" (sound familiar? 😏) because B&A "flopped" lol..... the declarations of cancelations. 😂
Lawwwwd.... LOL.... idk what's funnier and more intense.... The meltdowns over Timothée and Kylie, or the meltdowns over Chris Evans and his boo thing RIGHT AFTER he was named "People's Sexiest Man Alive" rofl 🤣 😂
Look ladies (Timmy fans) lol... You all don't HAVE to like who your fave is dating lol. You think I like Austin with Kaia lol? 😂 Especially with that Crawford family? NO!!! You think I like Chris with his Child Bride? NO!! 🤣
But you have to just RESPECT who your fave has chosen to date at the moment, and just let them live their life. If she makes him happy, then so be it! 🤷🏾‍♀️ You want your faves to be happy right? 😄
Most of these relationships don't last anyway 😆 Y'all HONESTLY think Timmy and Kylie are end game? Let's be real lol... 😏
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I don't think they're PR honestly....I just think they like each other and are possibly exploring smthg, that's all. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Sometimes ppl in Hollywood simply date each other just cuz there's a spark or an attraction btwn them..... a lot of times it's really not that deep y'all lol.😂 Sometimes it's just hookups or even just a fling.
Believe me... You'll know when it's "serious" when it starts getting into Tomdaya territory and they've been dating for longer than a few months (or a few years) lol. 🤭
But in the meantime.... if you're only liking your fave because he's SINGLE... are you really a fan of his? Or were you just a fan cuz he seemed single and attainable? 🤔 Serious question. Think about that for a second...
Trust me, I don't care for the KarJenner clan either 🥴 (believe me), and I never in a million years imagined this pairing happening until the rumors started leaking out. 👀 They were NOT on my Bingo card lol! 😄 But I won't judge him for choosing to spend time w/her since I don't know her personally (maybe she's sweet?) and he knows her way better than I do. 🤷🏾‍♀️
He's been an "eligible bachelor" for a while now... Let him have some fun or a rlshp with a woman who makes him happy for a little while. 🙂
Anyway... dry your tears ladies.... and just suck it up, and let this little "situationship" (lol) run its course. 😄
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Again, you do not have to like who he's dating, but don't just swear him off now cuz of Kylie when you were just a fan of his the other day before this news came out lol. 😄
Just respect it and KIM. 🤷🏾‍♀️
Like I said, I doubt they're "endgame" lol. Most of these rlshps aren't. You'll know the difference when a rlshp has real longevity potential. 😏
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Ninjago S16 Finale Thoughts [SPOILERS]
There is so much [SPOILERS] going and if I don't [SPOILERS] I'm gonna [SPOILERS] lose my [SPOILERS] mind.
Turn away now, ye who have yet to witness this epic conclusion. (this is going to be very long)
I was those little runts in Australia who had to stay awake til 2am trying to watch the whole thing with bad wifi, so I had the benefit of coming back later with more coherent thoughts.
And I thought... as cheesy as the ending was, despite being underwhelmed by it, I thought the ending was great. I've always told myself that even if we don't get a tear-jerking ending where someone dies, the bare minimum creators can do is wrap up a show with a nice little bow and say "Yes, they went through hardships but they made it out! Hooray!!!"
Ninjago fell into the latter category.
It's also noteworthy to keep in mind that this show is, and always was, aimed at children, and yeah most of us probably don't fit that definition anymore, rip.
For the most part, I thought they handled the show pretty well. Part 1 was significantly funnier than Part 2, as should be expected. There were great callbacks that both tied the season back to the earlier established lore (I mean, the Great Devourer being influenced by the Overlord to bite Garmadon all to find the perfect body that can successfully rip the very power of Creation into shreds? I won't say I haven't theorised that for YEARS but 👀 it's nice to have it confirmed) and just gave us content that we were dying for. As a Kailor fan, episodes 25-26 blessed me. Pixane was delicious. Lloyd and Garmadon fighting together was fan-fucking-tastic. Even minor details like "Wait, I thought combining the Golden Weapons together would be bad because they would explode" was enough for me.
New concepts were great as well! I loved the Dragon Forms, my heart was literally bursting trying to gobble up all that is brightly-coloured and dragon-themed. And *sighs happily* definitely reminiscent of the final battle in Avengers: Endgame. They weren't fucking lying when they made that poster, huh
All in all, if I went back to tell my 11yo self what I had just seen, she would laugh then scream then cry with disbelief. Because the show has gone above and beyond anything I had expected, and deep down, 11yo me was satisfied what she'd gotten.
But like any good piece of media, and because I'm just Old, there were things that obviously turned me off, or found a little unbelievable.
The death fake-outs -- there were. so many. You can never have enough angst but too many fake deaths just make you desensitised, and the deaths themselves don't feel that emotionally impactful anymore. I mean, sure, we had the purest Pixane moments in the show from when Zane was out of commission again (the fact that I have to say 'again' says it all) but like... Zane's just used as a cheap bargaining tool for sadness, so uh. Yeah.
Oni Lloyd -- I have never been so sad in all my life until that happened. Everything leading up to Oni Lloyd I thought was Great -- it ties back to S11 where Lloyd looks into that reverse-Mirror of Erised and fears he'll become Lord Garmadon. Having to embrace that darkness is Never an easy thing and seeing what had happened to others around him will effectively build that fear. Which would make it all the more worthwhile if Oni Lloyd could have held his own for a little longer in the episode. It felt... disappointing, honestly. They hyped up Oni Lloyd but it didn't even last for a minute. I would have accepted Lloyd looking at his reflection, getting terrified but also being so overcome with rage because the Overlord was a bastard for ever touching his family, roar angri oni sound effects. (Also damn, when Lloyd screams after he transforms?? Chilling, and I mean that positively). I just think it was so underutilised; where the Dragon Forms succeeded, Oni Lloyd falls flat
Why is Lloyd being a dick? -- It is a genuine question. I get it -- Lloyd doesn't trust Garmadon because Garmadon is so intent on conquering the world and switches allegiances super quickly and barely spares a moment to check in on Lloyd, but...hadn't Lloyd made peace with him years ago? All the way back in S5, even. They separated on good, if not heartbreaking terms. Lloyd wasn't like this in S8, but it's almost like. the show was trying to give him the arc that Movie-Lloyd had -- he acts like Garmadon is a deadbeat dad (okay he was chilling with Vinny because he wanted to Find Himself but-), doesn't give a shit about him (he was Learning Empathy-) and cares for nothing except Destruction™ (he was bit by an evil snake.) My point is, Lloyd made with peace Garmadon; there's literally no reason for him to hate him that much
The Utter Lack Of Consequences -- now this is really where the whole "Ninjago is made for kids" point really kicks in. I will say this, in bold and italics and capital letters: NINJAGO IS MADE FOR KIDS, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN AUDIENCES NEED TO BE KIDS TO ENJOY THE SHOW. Hope you got that -- in other words, I, an old person, found the ending to be cheesy as fuck, and kind of abrupt. I thought someone was going to die. I thought that the Ninja were going to lose their memories (Cole's "What did I do?" to Vangelis, Kai's "Now what was I doing?" re. Aspheera, etc; would've been an interesting twist). I thought the Oni and Dragon Forms were a permanent, lasting change. I thought the Ninja were literally going to become the Golden Ultra Dragon. I thought that actions having consequences would be something this season would be heavily focusing on. Part 1 made that clear, but I guess the power of friendship and love can really overpower death itself. Literally no one gets hurt. I find that Highly Unbelievable, especially since the finale is on par with Endgame! But it's a kid's show, the target audience are kids, and Ninjago has always been playing the safe game; while kids grow up to be like me, there's always an influx of new watchers who are just small, impressionable children. I'm not mad at them for it, but it still feels pretty abrupt. Like, everything is Cool Now, Everyone Is Getting Along. Mkay. But we get Garmadon monologuing about generational trauma and growth, so there's that
Ayo where is the Elemental Alliance? -- I swear they were here, where did they go? I miss my boys Griffin and Shade :'(
Oh, and just because I'm spiteful-
Get Lloyrumi away from me -- I'm sorry, but Harumi has proved herself time and again that she is a manipulative, cunning little backstabber. I was getting real uncomfortable when it seemed like the show was pushing us towards a Lloyrumi ending -- and yet, even after everything, Lloyd was giving her the time of day when he was flat-out ignoring his own father who had Clearly gone through Villain Rehab?? I can allow a siblinghood to form, just barely, but an actual relationship is too much. That being said, the plot-twist redemption was... kind of expected, but not in the way I thought it would unfold. I was expecting it to be some cheesy 'love conquers all' kind of thing, but- yeah, I don't know. It was an Oh shit moment, so..
Alright, now that's All of my grievances towards the ending. It's not much, they're just things that bug me on a weirdly technical level, but if I were to ignore them, the finale is still a 10/10. Maybe a 9.85/10 for the abrupt ending, but other than that I loved it to BITS. I adore it. I love what they have given us, and in my book? It did the bare minimum -- it gave a satisfactory ending to a storyline eleven years in the making.
I can't believe it myself.
I know most of you might find my nitpicking a little too much, but this is just what I felt. I was never a Day One fan, but I've been in this fandom for nearly half my life, so it's a huge part of me. Despite its hiccups and strange moments, I am thankful for all that Ninjago has done. I probably wouldn't be a third of the person I am today if it weren't for this silly little show about silly little ninja men. I have no idea where the new series will go, but it won't have to struggle to find its footing, I hope. We might get something by the end of the year, but no high hopes yet; I just wish it'll carry on the legacy of this show and burst with its own light, colour and fun.
So, thank you for reading. And remember...
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#thankyouninjago
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fangs-for-nothing · 1 year
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Ty to the person who sent that ask I just didn't know if you were ok w me directly answering it bc it came from ur main <3
Cw spiders and implied fatal stuff
The world my drider girl Rarhiko comes from is actually something communally built by a few friends but because the species is so widespread across the universe I get the freedom to completely make up what Rarhiko's specific colony and home planet is like
Driders have two forms, one being their humanoid one that looks like a perfect mimics save for the six additional smaller eyes they have and a second pair of smaller arms that they can hide flat against their body (dubbed weaver arms)
The second form is called their "predator" form (and no the friends did not name it that with vore in mind which makes it 100% funnier imo) and is the typical drider form. Humanoid upper half attached to a giant spider body.
Anyway.
The planet Rarhiko is from is essentially a deathtrap. Most things are poisonous or venomous in some way, or have abrasive spikes or acid they can throw at you, and the majority of plants and fauna have something that makes them dangerous to deal with
Which made it so that Rarhiko's colony had to get all blood and nails about it in order to stand a chance to survive, not to mention flourish. Their culture and society is hardwired towards the idea of self-improvement, specifically being battle-ready.
Food is also hard to obtain easily, since driders rely much more heavily on meat than plants, and all the meat wants to kill you. Thus any food you can obtain is valuable, and you should honor the life you took to obtain it by eating it. Make sure that the life the creature led was never in vain, and the effort it made to defend said life was not for nothing. Leaving any food to rot is seen as incredibly disrespectful and wasteful! Even if it tastes bad. Something tasting horrible is not an excuse to let the life of that creature go to waste.
Which is why they also consume their dead. If they're able to obtain the body (since most driders fall from battle or injury) then they share a meal over it and share memories of the drider, to show respect to their life and assure that their memory and physicality will be carried on by their colonymates
And why good tasting food is even MORE valuable to them. Someone willingly giving their food to you means they are sacrificing the effort they spent to obtain it, the energy they'd gain by eating it themselves, and the respect they'd show their food. Instead they're giving all of that value to you!
While live food and swallowing whole prey isn't as common (since most beings on the planet won't be compliant/small enough to let you), if someone chooses to do so then they are immediately seen as impossibly honorable. All the attitude towards someone willingly giving up their meal is applied tenfold to that person.
If it's safe, then it also comes with the respect of that person trusting the predator enough to keep them alive
And if fatal (though the colony generally cannot conceive of someone willingly giving up their life? To them, it's absurd to do anything but fight endlessly for the right to live) they get a big ceremony similar to a funeral rite
Regen is a similar attitude but ceremony is optional to what the prey prefers and is generally always rolled back in intensity since the prey will be back. Though the importance of such a sacrifice is not lost and still very respected :]
Rarhiko still carries all of this cultural attitude with her despite no longer living in her home planet and being part of more "typical" society. Which leads to very funny scenarios like her being willing to hardcore defend the life of someone who once gave her a bag of chips
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prowerprojects · 8 months
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Aside from noticing a shift in how "found family" is portrayed in fandoms these days, I wonder if this is a semi-conscious side effect of Tails over the years being semi-shafted until the past decade. (Aside from AOSTH{though was often a kidnap victim} and Boom, most adaptions had him downplayed or outright replaced. Yes, Prime, this technically includes you. The comics aren't exactly clean either, but Archie is the most guilty.)
But yeah, I get the appeal of "parental big sibling" tropes. Not every sibling relationship is the same though, or is all peachy. I don't think Sonic thinks Tails is so inept that he can't trust him to be on his own in most circumstances, young or not. (Fox is more likely to run INTO trouble than make it himself. High intelligence doesn't mean you won't do dumb stuff on occasion; especially if you're not well-versed, but I sooner buy the idea of 'baby' Tails having separation issues than willingly getting into a shootout with cops. Not unless he was saving someone anyway) Sonic's influence on Tails is mostly guidance and support. While Tails does seek approval, Sonic does not have huge authority over him. Tails striking out on his own and living his own life doesn't make his bond with Sonic any less close. Reunions can be just be as emotional, y'know? (Plus, wouldn't Sonic be proud of that? For Tails to achieve his dreams through his own efforts? Give me a Sonic being the loudest person at his little brother's science presentation.)
Also, I don't think Tails would care who Sonic dates. Curious at best, and I'm sure he would want to be on good terms with his romantic partner and even bond with them, but I don't think he nor Sonic would appreciate the former being babied at every turn. Plus, wouldn't Tails being a gremlin by giving snide, knowing looks to Sonic be funnier? (And there's plenty of sibling activities that doesn't involve parenting one another: Movie nights, water gun fights, pranking, sparring, camping, gaming. Even just napping in the sun under a tree.)
Likely another side effect to the "non-action" and "dependency" Tails got hit with. (Which is funny because I have witnessed at times back then of some accusing Tails of being potentially appearing too competent to the point of making Sonic look "weak". Wanting Tails to have limits on his mechanic skills is one thing, but saying he should stick to tinkering vehicles only is very restricting though?) Nine may have endured bullying longer, but it doesn't mean it stopped having an effect on Tails himself. (Called names, had his tails messed with, people smashing his inventions. He may grown to embrace his qualities, but he clearly still has self worth issues that is ripe for exploring more. Nine's is mainly trust. Companionship too, but mostly trust. They've both been hurt, one was just lucky enough to get support early and ongoing.) Heh, I could go on a tangent on how finicky fans are at the thought Tails talking back to Sonic or dare have a different opinion than him and Nine gets a pass because he's "Anti-Tails", but that'd be another essay. xD (But yeah, hopefully Prime ends well.)
((Oh, and cool ponytail Tails art, btw. :] ))
Hmmm, could be. Early portrayals call still influence the way people see a character, even after all those years. (I mean, Sonic and chili dogs thing even got canonized and everything)
I definitely see Sonic as more of a mentor rather than parent figure. I think Sonic has a lot of trust and respect for Tails, and it's hard for me to imagine Sonic like. Grounding Tails or something similar. If this happened I imagine it would be such a wild concept to Tails he would think it's a joke, but more importantly Sonic wouldn't even think of doing this, I don't think he thinks of himself as that kind of authority figure in Tails's life. And Sonic is Tails's biggest fan definitely. I like that one bit from a q&a where Sonic gets asked who's smarter, Tails or Eggman, and he immediately picks Tails... (It's so cute, idk, especially since there's no way to actually prove it, and it's probably not even true (of course, "smartness" is relative), and then he goes on to say how Eggman is still a close second and very dangerous and not to underestimate him)
[No comment on the shipping thing, I pretty much agree though]
I've mostly seen people wanting Tails to have a limit on his skills to make him as a character more "grounded" and "realistic", but Shadow can have 10000 superpowers and I don't see anybody complaining. You know what else is unrealistic? Flying by spinning your tails. Especially since Tails was portrayed as this "pan-purpose scientist" since the beginning, and it's not a part of "flanderization". Like for sure, vehicle engineering has always been his specialty and biggest interest, but for example he made a Chaos Emerald radar back in Sonic 3, and had a robot back in Tails Adventure. People bring up the fact that he struggled with a plane prototype in Adventure 1 as an example of him being not that great with his mechanical skills initially, but he had already made a rocket back in Sonic the Fighters at that point.
Yeah, bullying messes you up big time, and it's not easy to get over it... If this wasn't something Tails had to deal with in the past, he might have a completely different outlook on himself nowadays, even if he still felt inadequate. Though I do like how the games don't really push this into our faces all the time, it's just a part of the backstory that helps understand the character better but you can still understand what's up with him even if you don't know the details. (Also makes me think he probably doesn't talk about this, it's something that only Sonic knows about most likely, and even then still probably not in detail).
(There's a lot of things that I don't quite like in Prime, I just don't bother talking about it, but I'm pretty optimistic on how they're handling Nine! (& Tails))
(Haha thanks =^-^= )
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sevdrag · 2 years
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hello. i have heard from trusted sources that you're looking to write yennskier, so. what about jaskier braiding yen's hair. OR. more feral: bathwater au yennskier. (or you could do both im not picky lbr)
trusted sources u say ...
-- -- --
Yennefer is yanking the brush through her tangled hair and swearing up a storm - she isn't used to the more physical fights, although she can deal a surprising amount of damage with a blade (more than Jaskier can) - and he's so very tired of hearing it. Jaskier pulls out the fat-toothed comb he uses on Geralt's hair when it's full of slime and monster parts, and offers it to her without a word.
"What is this, bard?"
"I thought you were supposed to be cultured and refined, witch. It's a comb."
She looks at it like it might be poisonous (he's cleaned it after Geralt's last battle, so no, it isn't). "I know that, you complete idiot. Why are you offering it to me?"
"As funny as I might find it for you to stroll around half-bald, I don't think our Witcher would enjoy it as much." Our Witcher, he can say now. He wouldn't have said it a few months ago, but this bond between himself and Yen has been growing in fits and spurts.
Yennefer raises one perfect brow. "Are you offering me your services, bard?"
Jaskier gives her his most deliberate flirty grin, the one she can always see right through and likes to laugh at. "Well, combing out tangles is easier done in the bath, Yen. If you're inviting me, how can I refuse?"
She looks at him with those gorgeous, uncanny eyes. Jaskier's well aware this is a line they don't cross, which is what makes it funnier. "I promise to only say complimentary things about your tits," he adds, turning the grin somewhat lascivious.
Yennefer just stares at him a while longer, and then reaches out to pluck the comb out of his hand. "Come along, then," she says, like a queen to a servant but with a soft smile added on. "I expect excessive compliments, though."
Jaskier's frozen for a moment, afraid of his good luck. And it isn't seeing Yen naked - not that he won't enjoy that - it's the trust in it, the fact that he's invited to help her, to take care of her. No one takes care of Yennefer of Vengeberg -- and yet there are the soft touches they share sometimes, lingering looks, gestures of kindness between them.
He thinks about declining, saying this is too much, saying it's dangerous.
Instead he says "I'll get my oils," and heads for his pack.
-- -- --
(this could easily turn into a fic. fuck my life)
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callsigndragon · 1 year
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THE BABIES ARE HEREEEEE!!!! YESSS!!! I love Chapter 26!!! It is so sweet and ahhh, just love, love, love it!!!
"Watching Rooster running around the room like a headless chicken would have been funnier if you weren't in so much pain. C-section was scheduled for tomorrow, but apparently, the Bradshaw-Mitchell twins couldn't wait a minute longer." - Rooster the Headless Chicken!!! Hahaha, love it! Also, I guess you could say the twins felt the need... the need for speed... I'll let myself out...
"They have their father's eyes, and Bradley cries when you mention it. While the babies rest on your chest, he kisses your forehead, thanking you over and over again for 'making him the happiest man on Earth'." - ahhhh, my heart!!! The sweetness!!! My goodness!!! I am melted!!! 💗
""Oh, dear, they're here. They're truly here!" Jake mutters softly, his eyes darting from one twin to another. He snorts once he sees the pink bundle in Bradley's arms. "Man, you can't have favorites already."", ""I don't have a favorite, JJ is a mommy's boy, and I can't even hold him. He starts crying." Rooster pouts, looking at his baby boy." - awww, I love Jake's first reaction now he can unleash is uncle side. And poor Bradley having his son cry when he holds him, hahaha, awww. Love that JJ is a mommy's boy already though 💗
""I would cry too if I had to look at that face." Goose says as he stands next to your bed, caressing JJ's cheek with his finger. "Congrats, little Mav."" - I love Goose!!! The nickname for Ash is so sweet!
""Can you read it aloud, dad?"" - you got me with this and the letter!!! My goodness!!! Mav coming clean about his actions and then that letter, my heart!!! And this: - "You see Mav break down. He finally allows himself to be free from the burden that latched onto his heart and wouldn't allow him to breathe. Jake steps in front of Bradley, taking baby Carole from his arms and nodding to Mav. "They need you." Bradley nods and hugs the two men, crying like he did when he realized his babies had his eyes. These three men finally had the closure that they deserved." - it just fills my heart with so much joy and love and, ahhh, it is perfect!!! This whole part is amazing!!! And this: - ""If you hadn't appeared in Bradley's life… this wouldn't be happening. He wouldn't be a dad, Goose and Mav would be arguing still… You and the babies have fixed this family."" - !!!!!!!! MY. HEART!!! Love, love, love, adore this!!!! The family they created is so beautiful and everyone coming together over the twins is just beautiful!!!! My goodness!!!! 💗💗💗
"'Hen Mitchell'" - HEN!!! My goodness!!! They are so considerate! And it is so lovely of them to help Ash/Hen get over the traum and heal!!! Love them!!! The Birdshaws, hahaha! So cute 💗
"Dear Mother Hen" - and there goes my heart again. The tears, I tell you! Tears!!!!! The letter itself is so beautiful and so heartwarming and so true to character!!! She would have loved the twins, in or out of wedlock 💗 But this: - ""Who's gonna tell Carole that you had kids before marriage?"" - is hilarious!!! And I love the levity you add with it, without breaking the vulnerability of the moment!! Such masterful writing!!!! 💗
"You had a family way before the kids were born. It just took you a while to realize. And as Carole said, family helps you when you need them the most. You can rely on them. You need to rely on them. Now. Before this situation gets worse." - I love this family!!! And I love that Hen realised that she has people with her, who can offer help and support and love her as she should be loved... So heartmelting!!! 💗
"“I need to talk to all of you. Please. You’re my family.”" - yes, yes, yes!!! Yesss!!! Sharing!!! Trust!!! Protection!!! Love!!! I love that she tells them and asks for help!!!!! And that they are so reassuring and supportive!!! So good!!!!
"“My wife.”" - let's gooo!!!!! Yes! I am so excited to see how Red will help!
My beloved Darling!! This is an amazingly sweet and heartmelting chapter!!! Absolutely wonderful!!! 💗💗💗💗
Lots of love to you Lovely 💗💗💗💗
(italics anon 💚)
""I would cry too if I had to look at that face." Goose says as he stands next to your bed, caressing JJ's cheek with his finger. "Congrats, little Mav."" - I love Goose!!! The nickname for Ash is so sweet!
Goose loves Hen as much as Bradley does (not in the same type of way, but you know what I mean). He knows that these two will end up together, but he can't say a thing yet. Why would he give her carole's letter if he didn't think that she would stay around? Goose has a plan, babes. Just wait and see.
"“I need to talk to all of you. Please. You’re my family.”" - yes, yes, yes!!! Yesss!!! Sharing!!! Trust!!! Protection!!! Love!!! I love that she tells them and asks for help!!!!! And that they are so reassuring and supportive!!! So good!!!!
It took us a while but here we are! Hen loves her family and relies on them!!!
And Red.... let me tell ya, she's fucking mad mad.
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