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raccoonsandrangoons · 1 year

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1-800-Sorry-I’m-Distracted

Summary: After coming home from a long day of work, Eddie attempts to distract you while you’re on the phone with your sister

CW: smut (minors dni); semi-public sex (you’re on the phone with your sister); oral (f receiving); vaginal fingering

Words: 1.8K (short and sweet bby)

Notes: this is a completely self indulgent piece I wrote ages ago (srry babe) for my best friend, the moon to my sun, my sister in every AU, @jadequeen88! call it self-indulgent because I’m engaged to my waifu for laifu Steve hehe

“Hang on a minute, will ya?” you said hurriedly into the phone, placing your hand over the receiver. “Eddie” you hissed.

The curly-haired man in question hummed in acknowledgment. He had just come home from a long day of work at the mechanic’s. Usually he loves his job, but today his clients were something else. He sighed in relief that he only had a half shift and was able to run home to you. For the last two and a half hours of his shift, all he could think about was you and how he couldn’t wait to relieve all his stress.

“What is it, babe?” He was standing behind you with his arms around you. His fingers ghosted up and down your sides as his taller frame boxed you in against the wall the old phone was connected to. A Cheshire grin stretched across his face.

“You know what,” you said, nudging him with your elbow. Your voice was low in warning to your boyfriend.

Eddie faked being wounded as he stumbled back at the minimal force of your elbow. His hand over his chest like he had been stabbed. His dark, round eyes stared at you, threatening tears, as his lip trembled in a fake pout.

You rolled your eyes at his antics. Usually, you would have played back at him, but not today. You were stressed from work and attempting to build up the mental energy to have dinner with your sister and her fiancé, not spend it on your boyfriend’s distractions.

“I’m on the phone with my sister.” You turned back around with your back to Eddie and put the phone back to your ear. “Hey, you still there, hon?” you said to your sister on the other end.

Faintly through the static of the phone, Eddie could hear your sister’s bubbly voice confirming her presence as he made his way back to bothering you. He heard her light chipper as she was recounting some tale of the kids. Eddie rolled his eyes at her chirping about their shenanigans with Steve. He moved your hair to the side and opted to bury his face in your neck, placing light feathery kisses there.

You tried to shove your needy boyfriend away, but once again to no avail.

Eddie’s ringed hands had finally settled on a destination and gripped on to your hips as you nudged at him. He held you back flush against him. He pressed his body against you, and you could feel a hard bulge already through his jeans as he rolled his hips up into you.

“Just a second,” you said into the phone. You turned to Eddie and gave him the look. ‘Quit it’ you mouthed to your mischievous boyfriend.

Eddie simply winked and cracked a devilish smile before whispering low in your ear, “Just relax,” sending shivers down your spine.

You could hear his smirk before he trailed kisses along your shoulders. His long curly hair tickled your sensitive skin.

“She’ll never know,” he whispered again.

“What’s that?” your sister said from the other end of the phone.

“Nothing,” you told you. You could hear your eyes rolling in your voice. “Just, Eddie being Eddie.”

“Oh!” your sister said, “Well, tell him Steve and I say hi!”

“Sure thing. So, what about Dustin again?”

Your sister resumed her chirping about her adoptive “son” via Steve.

“Sometimes I wonder what his mother thinks. He’s always over!” she said. “When Steve says he wants six little nuggets, I tell him we already have Dustin and Erica and them. I mean sometimes Mike really gets on my nerves,” (garnering a chuckle from Eddie) “Really! It’s like Steve and I are already parents! Eddie may as well drop them off here after Hellfire!”

Eddie, sweet adoring Eddie, despite all his scary looks, who doted on the younger ones in his Hellfire club. Despite graduating, Eddie still hung around for campaigns. He claimed it was because they still needed their dungeon master but the truth of it was after the events of last spring, he wanted to make sure each one made it home after meetings, especially on nights when they ran over and the moon was high in the night sky.

Sweet, darling Eddie, who, by now, had worked a hand up your shirt and was thanking god and every other deity in the sky and below that you never wore a bra in your house. Rough fingers pinched your nipple. You let out a breath before biting your lip to keep from making any more noises into the phone for your sister to hear.

“Damn, and I thought I was funny!” your sister said.

“Sorry, sorry,” you said. “I’m a little… distracted right now.”

“You good?”

“Yeah! Yeah… it’s just work and trying to organize all the bills for reopening Benny’s. You know what they say! It takes about five years to turn a profit.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not right now; I’d rather just—.” Cut off by a particularly harsh bite from Eddie. “Just not think about it,” you told your sister.

“Makes sense,” she concurred.

“Oh, don’t you worry pretty girl,” Eddie growled against your skin, too low to be picked up by the phone. “I’ll make sure we both forget all about it.”

Eddie’s other hand made its way down your pants, rubbing small circles on your clit against the fabric of your thin panties. Instinctively, you rolled your hips into his hand, grinding against his hips in the process. Eddie chuckled low as he nipped at your shoulders.

You were wet. Surprisingly so, given that you were initially disgusted by Eddie trying to bother you while you talked to your sister, but soon the disgust gave way to the thrill of not being caught—that and an animalistic desperation Eddie always managed to bring out in you.

Soon, Eddie had wormed his way around you, settling on his knees between you and the wall the phone was hooked to. He fiddled momentarily with the button on your jeans before tugging your pants and panties down together. You looked down at him with wide eyes swimming with both fear and want.

Eddie held a finger to his lips and smirked before diving between your legs and licking a long stripe across your slit. You gasped as your legs buckled and you had to lean against the wall to hold yourself up. With the phone pressed between your shoulder and ear, your now free hand instinctively shot down into Eddie’s thick mane of curls. His soft chuckles and hums vibrated throughout you.

“Are you okay?” your sister asked, bringing you back to earth.

“Yea I’m fine. I just thought I saw a bug or something, maybe. It’s outside the window though.”

Eddie continued his work. His large, ringed hands kept your legs spread enough for him to fit between but steady enough to keep you from toppling over. His tongue made slow, sinful, and sloppy movements over you. Eddie always ate you like you were his last meal, sloppily but savoring. The pleasure he got from giving you pleasure leaving you breathless.

The tip of a rough finger teased your wet entrance. As if on habit, you rocked into Eddie’s face. He hummed and moaned into your core.

“Oh hell no!” your sister shouted into the phone. Her shrill shriek halting your movements and bringing you back to a reality less focused on your boyfriend’s mouth.

Bugs were your sister’s greatest fear–ranking above the demogorgons even. You thought that the mention of a creepy crawly would keep your sister from discovering the truth of the reason behind your gasps.

“That's good he’s outside. I hate bugs so much,” your sister said.

“Yup,” you managed to squeak in agreement.

Eddie had worked a single finger into you. The cold metal of his rings was always a shocking, but deliriously delicious, contrast to your heated core. You were always so hot that it never took long for the metal of his rings to heat up and provide a different sensation. His lips had wrapped around your clit, sucking lightly before swirling his tongue against it. He alternated pressure with his tongue, switching between giving you flat long licks and little pointed flicks.

“So are you and Eddie still coming for dinner?” your sister asked, filling up the small silence that had come between you.

“I don’t… uh… I don’t think so,” you said, tightening your grip on Eddie’s hair in an attempt to keep both him and yourself still. “It’s been a really stressful day, and I don’t–” A thrust from Eddie silencing you. “I don’t think I’m up to it.”

“Oh,” your sister said, her voice falling in disappointment.

“I’m actually gonna have to let you go. I don’t feel so good. Think I might be getting a fever.”

“Oh no! Yeah, you have been acting a little weird this afternoon. Well, if you need anything, let me know. I can drop it off or have Steve do it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks.” You were rushing to get off the phone. “Okay. Love you. Bye.”

“Bye. I love—.”

You had already hung up.

Eddie worked a second long finger into you, curling them in a way that had you buckling into him. Now that you were off the phone, Eddie had no problem with picking up his speed, fucking you with his fingers. The obscene noises your body was making filled the room.

“That’s it, baby girl,” Eddie cooed, almost mockingly. “Let go. Cum on me.”

You obeyed, grinding yourself down on his mouth and hand and letting your orgasm wash over you and spill onto Eddie’s eager tongue.

After a moment to collect yourself, you turned your attention fully to Eddie. You yanked his head away from you, causing an unholy moan to leave the man’s glistening lips. Your own lips curled into a domineering smile and you looked down on him.

“What do you think you’re trying to play at here?” You tugged on his curls drawing another moan from the man on the floor. “Distracting me while I’m on the phone with my sister?” Another pull. Another moan. “Bad boy, Eddie. Very bad.”

Eddie shivered in delight as a devious grin spread across his angelic face.

On the opposite end, your sister hung up her phone.

“—you too,” she said slowly with her hand still on the receiver upon you hanging up abruptly on her.

“So what time are they coming?” Steve asked, turning to face her from his place on their couch.

“They’re not,” she said, mildly disgruntled. She placed her hands on her hips as she looked down at the amount of food she’d defrosted and prepped to cook.

“Twenty bucks says they’re fucking.”

“No deal! I’m not losing that much! Knowing my sister and Munson, they probably already were.” She sighed and rubbed her temples. “Just call Dustin and them while I start on this. Tell them we got extra food. Those boys eat us out of a house and home, but I’m not about to have fucking chili for a whole week.”

“Or, I mean,” Steve smirked and looked up at her through his lashes. “We could…”

“Steve!”

“Got it, okay. I’ll call Dustin!”

#Eddie Munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #self indulgence babey #or is it?#it is

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yanaleese · 3 months

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How-to-Ask 101!!!

Alright. This tutorial is quite simple (well...to be debated on).

#1: When doing an ask, you can do it in third person or first.

Examples:

"Is Karma's favorite food spaghetti?" - 3rd person

"Karma, is your favorite food spaghetti?" - 1st person

Another way of asking is just...saying your reaction.

"AAAAAAAA KARMA BE MY WAIFU FOR LAIFU"

"Karma could bury me 6 ft. down and I'd thank him"

Also be careful in adding too much questions in one ask (especially if it's not related).

What NOT to do:

"Does Karma love cats? Does he work a 9-5 job? Does he love cinnamon rolls?"

In this ask, it is speaking about multiple subjects - cats, occupation, and food preferences. This would be the type of ask I would not respond to.

What TO do:

"Does Karma love cats? What type of cats does he like, and does he have a cat of his own?"

#2: You can make your ask a prompt! But please note that this prompt can only involve ONE OC. It should not be overly detailed, but rather open for creativity and discussion.

Examples:

"Karma, you did NOT just ruin my tuna sandwich!"

For Karma: "Did you see what Aleese said about you in the last post?"

You can even reference past posts in hopes to get a reaction out of the characters.

"Karma, how could you kill that woman like that? Why?"*

#3: Now sometimes there are prompt lists that I may use to spice up the inbox (e.g. lists like this and this). In that case, feel free to choose what sticks out the most to you. You can also recommend some lists for me to choose from.

However, asks related to prompt lists will not be answered unless I have reblogged them on this blog + made it clear that I'm using that specific prompt lists. This applies even if you link or @ me in posts.

If you see no reblogged prompt list, do NOT do this:

Prompt #23 from fanfic_regina (original link): "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm exhausted and tired but I still love you."

@ yanaleese, prompt #23 from fanfic_regina please!

If you do see a reblogged prompt list, do this:

"Hey Aleese, I got this sick prompt that I want to show you (reblogged link)"

Can I have Prompt #23 from (reblogged link)?

If you need help with any of this please send a message to my inbox! Thank you!

#aleese comments #aleese advises #yandere blog #H2A 101

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fueledbysano · 2 months

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ROBINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN !!!!!!!!!!!!! kissing you harddd rn... HOWS LAIFU HOWS WAIFU 🙏

ZENNNNN >< i love the new username and the header!!?!?! 😩😩😩😩🫶 I'm finally free from midterms season + visited my parents hometown so I'm in a very good mood now HRU!!!! 😚😚😚

#🦇 robyn's darklings

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whymaige · 5 months

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🌸3D WhyMaige🌸

x@KarotteRAVE & x@StarryWrite 's Bday Gift for me! I love it!! Soff hair & pastel colors 🥺 So eatable-

Yes, they both made this 3D Model- the textures and sculpt, EVERYTHING!! Such masters!!! 😊😊(👁️🫦👁️

Thank you for always being supportive, & for working hard to take care of the cats. I'm lucky to have you both as my best friends in life, trio forever!!

Thanku parents for birthing me my two Lil Sibs besto friendos in laifu! 👏🥹

No matter where we go/what we do/happens, we will always be the trio. Even in another universe or lifetime, my soul will always seek you guys out. If it doesn't, imma reroll- ROFL

Big sis lovs you! ❣️

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ff14 #why maige

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yostresswritinggirl · 1 year

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Scara, puppet reader, and Albedo forming a trio of artificial life abandoned by their creators lol.

But a friendship between Tighnari and puppet reader would be lovely. Think of all the botany lessons Tighnari teaches them when they ask for help. Puppet reader taking notes and he lends them books is a very nice thing. Tighnari could try using gold paint to see how kintsugi would look on him first even if the potential pain of tattooing scares him off. At this rate, who else is gonna get struck by lightning from an Inazuman immortal??? And live with scars? Tighnari and puppet reader forming a support group.

Video montage of Scara personally going out of his way to forage for the ring materials himself cause he’s a dedicated husband like that. He has to make sure the qualities are up to his standards.

I honestly have to resist the urge to make more jokes because of how Scara and puppet reader are related. It’s just too easy to comment on how Scara really is keeping things in the family or how you can tell they come from rather aristocratic backgrounds because of how cousin marriages are so prevalent in those circles (really fascinating to read about actually! There’s a bunch of cultural and time era related reasons for it. Actually, the world building in Genshin would be so interesting if we knew more about stuff like this. My anthropology loving brain would go haywire. Like it’s unfortunate for Scara but I can imagine before the wedding (and this wedding pic) when he has the first drawing of them, someone might ask who it is and the first time Scara says his family, he learns real quick to say puppet reader is *his* because that person asked if puppet reader was single and willing to mingle. That person got the chance to mingle with Scara’s rage. How dare they covet the waifu of his laifu? The sheath to his sword - omg the Aranara banging pots and pans because if they can’t get sleep (do they sleep??) because of Scara and puppet reader then Scara and puppet reader won’t get sleep because of them!

Bloom anon

THE FACT THAT 70% OF THIS POST IS IN STRIKE THROUGH HAHAHAHA HO BOY

To start, still a huge advocator of Scarabedo, but also now that they're free from the Fatui, puppet reader would definitely be in need of a new 'doctor' for when they do need maintenance. Cue Albedo, master of artificial life

And yes that's exactly what I was thinking, getting botany lessons from Tighnari and visiting your wip garden whenever he patrols the area, that is the most supportive friend ever. And maybe not paint because well he's gonna have a hard time reaching those back areas no matter how dexterous he is (hey you don't gotta do Tomo like that sksksksksks technically Traveler is part of that support group, while Kazuha and Thoma are honorable mentions)

ACTUALLY THIS REMINDS ME can Scara even harvest ores since he's a catalyst hahaha please please can his burst do that, hoyoverse please make this canon

Aaaand here's the first cousin discussion, don't read if uncomfy: You and your out of pocket jokes again bloom ahahhaha but honestly, this is kind of one of the reasons why reader is Makoto's creation and not Ei's sksksks I knew of the law and made precautions for over thinkers. But also must point out that they're not really biological beings in the first place, their creators are gods even, oh wait mythology incest oh no-

One good thing about this tho that they wouldn't have to worry about offspring complications brought about by inbreeding since they're not capable of conception! And the hilarious implications of "yeah they're family-family, no you can't date them, they're mine did you not hear me"

Sheath to his sword GDI BLOOM AHAHAHAHA DON'T DO EM DIRTY LIKE THAT, YOU'RE MAKING ME THINK THINGS TOO NOOOO

#exile.goblet #bloom anon #about kintsugi #exile.reader #minors begone #chanting 'i will not write horny' to myself

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edwardslostalchemy · 5 months

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5 Fandoms, 5 Ships

I was tagged by @imakemywings , thank you bestie!!! 💖💖💖😎

BNHA - Shouto Todoroki/Izuku Midoriya

I am obsessed with them. They literally live in my brain rent free. They're so sweet and feral. The Sports Festival really did change everything in the series. Izuku opened Shouto's eyes to make the fire quirk he had his own, and he hasn't been the same since (and neither have I). Izuku is Shouto's hero. He changed his life. Because of that, now Izuku has a best friend in Shouto (and let's be real, a boyfriend). These two are so ride or die for one another. Shouto constantly remembers what Izuku told him. Izuku can rely on Shouto because they're on the same frequency. Reckless. They'd follow each other into the dark.

Princess Tutu - Fakir/Ahiru

Ultimate enemies to friends to lovers. Fakir literally tried to kill Duck as Tutu like twice, he didn't care. But then he and Duck started working together and Duck changed his whole outlook. Fakir was still a jerk, but he grew softer and fonder of Duck, and he was so protective of her. Duck is Fakir's muse. He is able to write about her because he understands her, unlike Mytho, and she trusts him with his storytelling powers. Plus, Duck was really the only one who had real faith in Fakir as a knight. They're so sweet and tender with each other. (We were also baited and robbed of that kiss from the trailer.)

Sailor Moon - Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaioh

I have an entire blog just dedicated to SM and harumichi. That's how much I love them. Haruka was so hesitant to become a sailor scout and even dreamt about Neptune, but she eventually became one because Michiru saved her from a monster and also because she couldn't fight her own fate. They have an amazing dynamic and they trust each other wholeheartedly and work so well together. They are also on the same frequency and have the same goal. They are also very tender with each other, especially when they hold hands and Michiru tells Haruka she likes her hands. They also have Pure Hearts.

House MD - House/Wilson

I've watched this show since I was like 16 and I've always liked House and Wilson. They give off such a huge Old Married Couple vibe, it's fantastic. They can be stupidly toxic for one another, though lmfao rip. But they get along so well, the way they riff off each other is so golden. Plus, House gets jealous of Wilson's fluffy cat receiving more attention than him. 🙄

FMA - Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell

Probably the first OTP I fell in love with HARD. I've written a lot of stories for them. I have a fic collection of 101 stories, I think, plus one shots and some chapter fics I didn't finish, unfortunately, but the ideas are still there. They are ridiculous and I mean that in the sweetest way because Ed is horrible at expressing how he feels, so he proposed to Winry in terms of alchemy. And Winry was like girl, I'll just give you my whole life. LMFAO. This ship is amazing. Winry figures it out by herself. Nobody told her she loves Ed, she did that herself. She accepted it herself. She focuses on her work while also supporting Ed. Ed also does his part by protecting her, being there for her, trusting her skills, promising her that the next time he makes her cry it'll be with tears of joy, etc. They both did their part. They both played their roles in the story, stayed objective, and still managed to be there for each other. Winry is waifu for laifu 🫰. And Ed is so lucky to have her, he loves her. He was so flustered he recited the elements from the periodic table. What a DORK. I love them.

I'm tagging @tododeku-or-bust @an-aura-about-you @non-canon-central @fate-defiant @eclipsedrawsthings @greyladyblue 💖💖💖💖💖

#tag game #please start your own post #i get overwhelmed when a tag post of mine gets a lot of notes

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ciitrinitas · 1 year

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ai: the somnium files.

my long awaited date arc.

the funniest part of me playing was how much i kept remarking to xofi that i liked how generally professional and competent date was. he was a bit of a nutjob in his head, and there was the porno mag running gag, but he was otherwise a fully formed character that also had horny bolted on. date was very charming as a protagonist. he's aiba's soaking wet poor little meow meow, and she loves him... if date/aiba isn't real, then why game???

aiba's actual best girl (i was ready to disown the true end if she stayed dead), and boss is my wife, and the receptionist is hysterical (let's go to atami!). overall, i quite dug the cast! except ota. i do not like ota. the simp act got tiresome, and yes! i'm still salty about how he lied to his mother (who has dementia) that an eighteen-year-old girl he has a parasocial fixation on is his girlfriend. that did not warm my heart. why did ota even have a route and ending.

i think i found mizuki's route and ending the most satisfying. it would have been nice to have seen more of how date did care for her before that final somnium and to have mizuki be more involved outside of her route, but it still worked for me.

but, oh, mizuki... love her, and while the visual of her lifting weights is hysterical, i do not care for her having the strength and acrobatic ability of a shounen protagonist. watching a sixth grader run up to armed adults actively firing at her at close range so she can club them with a metal pipe stretched my suspension of disbelief too far. the game otherwise didn't have a setting that allowed it; mizuki was an anomaly...for some reason.

my biggest gripes have to be the inconsistent tone and structure. the former would hit with jarring instances of comedy or absurd action sequences that were too predicated on the world's strongest twelve year old. the latter is probably a more personal quibble (i mean, this is all just me rambling out my thoughts), but my first run at the game ended with me on the annihilation route where i was locked out of more once i hit a cliffhanger. not even a bad end! just booted from the route until later. then it happened again when i branched into the true route before iris'. the game clearly didn't want me to access key exposition yet; i would have preferred it if branching onto both routes was barred until ota, mizuki, and iris' routes were complete.

anyway, let's all look forward to the aiba and date marriage! i can't wait to see who boss blackmails so date can legally wed his eyeball. and then we all go to atami.

(but, seriously! i liked hitomi, but her relationship with date...did nothing for me romantically. iris, sweetie, you need to accept that aiba is your uncle's waifu for laifu.)

#era.txt #2023 media #aitsf spoilers ///

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