Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.
And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.
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The song “Therapy” by All Time Low is insanely in line with Leo’s character in every way.
The following verses alone are so quintessentially Leo that it’s like he was made with it in mind:
“Arrogant boy
Love yourself so no one has to
They're better off without you
(They're better off without you)
Arrogant boy
'Cause a scene like you're supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you
You're lucky if your memory remains”
Even has a comment of causing a scene, paralleling Leo in the theme song. Just. This song actually breaks my heart in general but it ties with Leo to a T.
Lyrics like “A handful of moments, I wished I could change” and “I'm a walking travesty | But I'm smiling at everything” just reflect him so well. Please listen to the song you won’t regret it.
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black hole opened in the kitchen / the future is a benevolent black hole / it would only take the energy to fix it / there's a hole in the drywall still not fixed i just haven't gotten around to it besides i'm starting to get used to the gaps / i can't stop staring at the ceiling fan / quarantined in a bad dream / drag racing through the canyon / it's an all night drive from your house to reno / do you see us getting scraped up off the pavement? / i went out and wrapped my car around the streetlamp / i lied i am just lowering your expectations / guess i lied, i'm a liar who lies / half a mind that keeps the other second guessing / do i get callous or do i stay tender? which of these is worse and which is better? / always an angel, never a god / lord, be near me my final hour i once had sight but now i'm blind / there's something in the static i think i've been having revelations / no i'm not afraid to disappear, the billboard said the end is near / coming to in the front seat, nearly empty / last night i blacked out in my car and i woke up in my childhood bed wishing i was someone else / skip the exit to our old street and go home / we've got a long way to go before we get home 'cause this ain't my home anymore
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the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.
a halsin fanmix [listen]
01. Heart of Spring - david arkenstone | 02. Cé Hé Mise Le Ulaingt? / The Two Trees - loreena mckennit | 03. Pussywillows, Cat-tails - gordon lightfoot | 04. Maybe Tomorrow - f&m | 05. Don't Stop Me Now - queen | 06. I Was Born Under a Wand'rin' Star - bryn terfel | 07. A Tenuous Bond - derek duke | 08. Closer - nine inch nails | 09. Into the Darkness - jeremy soule | 10. Colorblind - counting crows | 11. Natural Light - ludovico einaudi | 12. Under the Greenwood Tree - royal shakespeare company | 13. The Grove - bear mccreary | 14. Blood Upon the Snow - hozier & bear mccreary | 15. A Quiet Darkness - houses | 16. Spellplague - alderfall | 17. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - jonathan antoine | 18. Only Everyone Can Judge Me - crywank | 19. Blue Skies - kathryn calder | 20. The Buzzard - old blind dogs | 21. Constant Craving - k.d. lang | 22. The Cave - mumford and sons | 23. Jim Cain - bill callahan | 24. I Won't Back Down - johnny cash | 25. The Ash Grove - laura wright | 26. The Wind - yusuf/cat stevens | 27. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - hozier | 28. The Logical Song - supertramp | 29. Tapestry - don mclean | 30. Big Yellow Taxi - joni mitchell | 31. Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) - hozier | 32. The Flock - david maxxim micic | 33. Changes - david bowie | 34. Ri Na Cruinne - clanaad | 35. The Moments of Happiness - ken page | 36. My Back Pages - the byrds | 37. If This Journey - tom hanford | 38. Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season) - Live - pete seeger
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