Fandom drags Jon for all the wrong dumbass moments. Let’s leave the trauma responses alone and go for his tendency to make dumb puns or inside jokes at people threatening to kill him.
captain birdseye is what plukas looks like in my head
the lukas family has finnish roots because everyone who has been to finland knows that this place is the perfect breeding ground for the lonely to manifest in and also only arguably exists which makes it even more perfect for the lonely. the only reason the lukas family has spread out to other places is because finland is so lonely that they got bored and they want to make everyone else like that too
[Tired] Oh, yeah. I’ve been.
Well, you owe me one, Ratner. One… favor.
Take care of yourself.
No, he didn’t play me like that.
No, really, he played you like a brat.
Er… no, I,I guess not.
fuckhands 4gets the key 2 its house that it is
(No, I know, I know, a… I-It’s a lot to take in, you know.
[HE STEPS IN ANOTHER PANIC.]
They’re not onions, Archivist. They’re… they’re an… they’re an apple.
But, he has a point!
You don’t know?
Oh, I’m sorry; I didn’t - I didn’t know.
And you know what? It’s true, Jon.
Jonah Magnus tried to perform the Watcher’s Crown and the Eye was like “dudeski I can’t show up and terraform the world into my perfect fearpocalypse when there are no other Entities here whose associated fears I can feed on. you invited me over for dinner when you have no food in the house. what’s your problem Jonah Bitchboy”
I hope I am misinterpreting a spoiler bc if not, well, I have emotional distress in my future
No one you’d ever heard of.
I feel like kicking this hornet’s nest. best tma ships:
- adelard/gertrude: absolutely fucking choice. the MORAL PHILOSOPHY of it all! I want to read a fic where they spend 17,000 words arguing about aquinas and then they fuck
- daisy/basira: self explanatory. only knocked out of the top spot because I’m catholic and like this about everything
- jon/elias: hot, bad, interesting. elias is very awful and very fascinating and machiavellian and he brings out the worst in jon, which is excellent. bonus points for the horny religious overtones
- gertrude/elias: KISSES M’FINGERS…the absolutely delicious tension of two people with near-identical psychologies who’ve chosen to point themselves in precisely opposing directions! they’re so wonderfully similar and perfect foils for one another, which is the best thing for a ship to be
- gertrude/agnes: no idea how they would have actually been together but this is THEMATICALLY IMPECCABLE— they’re both reluctant avatars of destruction, duty-burdened and somewhat miserable. bonus points for eldritch soulmates
hon. mention: jon/“michael”, gertrude/basira (LISTEN), gertrude/gerry, jude/agnes, manuela/jon