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heartidylla · 1 year

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the bitterness behind goodbyes

father figure!din djarin x p!teen!reader

summary : you and your little brother, grogu, come into contact with a mandalorian. after he earned your trust, you allow yourself to let him into your heart. as you continue on your path you eventually find what you’ve been looking for, a jedi.

warnings : angst

| a/n | : my daddy issues are spiking and i’m in desperate need of a good father figure like din is to grogu.

speaking color coding

“” — din

“” — you

“” — other

ducking your head while you held your little brother closer to you within your arms since overhearing a massive explosion coming from the near distance. you shielded him from any possibility of his little figure receiving damage.

sparks of bright yellow and shots of crimson red flooded into your eyesight as the massive weighted metal door was withstanding an assault against it. the moment the open fire stopped, you could make out the faint outline of a pathway.

the moment someone kicked down the door, you began to hold your breath in due to the amount of fear you held within you.

since you and your brother had been forced away from home, you were held captive. it was extremely traumatic for you, since you held the elder sister role and needed to protect the mindless youth with everything you had. you did, up until now. you were honestly deprived of sleep, and was in an urgent need for some nutrients.

all you wanted to do was flutter your eyes closed and hibernate for all the hours that were stolen from you due to your floppy eared green brother. you two looked completely different, and weren't related by blood; however, you two were connected on an emotional spectrum.

two figures began to make their way towards you. "the tracking fob is still active. my sensors indicate that there is two life forms present." the robotic voice vibrates against your eardrums, making more terror pulse into your veins as your heartbeat rose.

there was a pause as a beeping found started to rapidly increase its pace as the figure with entire metal armor turned into your direction.

he looked up, and made his way over to you. you're gaze followed from his boots all the way up to his glowing metal mask. you could almost make out your reflection within them.

you're bags were increasingly horrifying as dark circles were never appealing to anyone. "wait." the mandalorian called out to his robotic counterpart. "they said they were fifty years old." he stated, looking back and forth between you and your brother. it was obvious that neither of you looked to be over the age of fifty, or anywhere close to it.

you shifted underneath his confused gaze, and started to backtrack until your actual back hit the freezing wall. you shivered underneath the contact. your brother cooed in an unknowingly way. he didn't understand what was going on, and you didn't expect or want any less than that.

"species age differently." the robot reminded him, "though, she is quite small to be considered fifty as her species is. perhaps they both could live many centuries." he pointed out gesturing his gun over to you, causing you to flinch as your face hardened and looked away. you hid your bother more than before, not wanting any pain to be dealt to him. "sadly, we'll never know."

that's the exact moment you decided to use what you had been taught before. your eyes shot at the robot, glaring an obvious warning to him.

you both started to raise your arms at the same time, but to your surprise the mandalorian stopped him. "no." he says, which causes the robot to slowly look over towards him. something in the way you both were looking at him, those innocent eyes that held more emotion that you'd personally let off.

he knew that you didn't ask for any of this to happen, and suddenly he was teleported back to his home planet on that one fateful day that would reconstruct his entire life. "we'll bring them in alive." something new began to emerge within his faded heart. he wouldn't realize it then, but it was a sense of urgency to protect. whenever he looked at you, he saw a youthful version of himself.

you and your brother looked back and forth between the two of them in sync, unable to fully comprehend what was occurring in front of you. "the commission was quite specific. the assets were to be terminated." the robot informs the mandalorian, raising his gunned arm once more.

you, too, raised your hand. you were prepared to pass out due to the amount of agony you were going to inflict upon this robot as you were annoyed that he even began to bother you two.

suddenly a shot went off, and you watched closely as the robot's now steaming head collapse into the ground.

even so, you weren't about to let your guard down. you put your hand slightly back, before pushing it forward and sending the mandalorian flying backward into the wall.

he grunted at the impact of the force you were inflicting onto him. "who are you?!" you shouted at him while hastily standing up and putting your brother within the crib you had crafted yourself.

"— a friend." the masked mandalorian's modulated voice came out as he held onto the neck of his armor tightly, trying to hid himself of the invisible hold you had onto him.

the word 'friend' was not one you were used to hearing. you were accustomed to the painful reality of being without a guardian and as a prisoner.

you let the force you had go as you started to feel dizzy. his body met the harsh ground, and yet another groan come from his mouth underneath his mask.

you began to stumble within your spot next to the crib, holding your head as your vision started to slightly blur. "are you okay, kid?" the mandalorian asked worriedly from beside you. when did he get there?

you succumbed to the intoxicating feeling of slumber, and as you started to fall he was just as quick to catch you as if it was some sort of instinct of his.

he looked anxiously between your passed out figure and your little brother within the homemade crib who was looking at you with unease. he prayed to the maker that you were just exhausted and nothing fatal was bubbling due to your immediate slumber.

that was the first time you ever came into contact with mando, your, now, guardian. you and your brother have become quite fond of him since he has saved you from multiple dangerous encounters with other bounty hunters as well as put in the time and effort to support you through all this time.

he's the brightest star that you looked for every night to appreciate, as whenever it's dark he's always there to slip next to you and make you feel a sense of security you felt with nobody else. you're so incredibly lucky to have him around you — to have him stumble upon you and become such an impactful person in your life.

you knew how heartbroken he felt when you and grogu were taken away by the horrible people who were after knowledge on the background or range of your talents.

you held grogu within your arms as you tried to calm his fussy state down. he didn't understand what was happening and why he wasn't with mando, but sadly you did.

they wanted to use you both for their own sickening purposes, and as footsteps began to inch closer to you. you were prepared to give everything you had into protecting what was rightfully yours: your brother and your life. when the door opened you reacted quick and shoved both stormtroopers against the wall, knocking them out cold.

a darkened look appeared on your face as you realized your worst enemy coming into your caged room. you started to choke the two stormtroopers beside him, as your little brother joined in on the chaos you two were causing and threw around your past enemies.

you both could feel the energy draining out of you at a rapid rate, and at a very last attempt you both hit them with your final push. the choking men you had been focusing on, you threw them backwards and they crashed into the wall outside your enclosed space.

your brother, on the other hand, threw his opponents into one another, making them bash their heads.

"you have gotten very good at that." gideon's horrid voice flooded into your ears as you were breathing heavily. "but it makes you both oh-so sleepy." he stated, bending down to you and your brothers eye level. you weakly glared at him before looking at your brother to was tilting to the side.

you were so proud of him, and knew how exhausting it was to use such power. it caused you to frown at the sight as your brother's chest was rising and falling just as regularly as your own.

"have you ever seen one of these?" gideon questioned you two as a flash of black and white appeared on the side of your face. slowly, your gaze shifted towards it. you squinted your eyes at the level of brightness emitting off of it.

your eyes widened at the sight, as a sickness began to flood into your throat. memories came swarming back into your mind which fogged your vision completely.

you couldn't help but look away from it almost instantly; however, your brother's weakened state tried to use his powers to force it into his hand. "you're not ready to play with such things." gideon stated, standing up. "though, your sister might be." he commented, smirking down at both of your trembling figures. "looks like you both could use a nice, long nap."

you took a deep breath in as a last attempt to fight off the urge to fade into the peaceful darkness, and as you let it go so does your conscious. your body landed next to your brothers, subconsciously wrapping your arm around his own passed out form.

when you woke up from your seemingly endless sleep, you were greeted with the horrifying sight of the black and white sword hovering in front of you. your brother cooed at you, and your eyes darted to analyze his state. he was fine, besides the handcuffs that were restraining both your hands.

the door opened, and mando, your savior, walked in. your eyes brightened at the sight of him, thanking the maker that he came after you and your little brother, grogu. "mando!" you smiled widened as you instinctively sit up to rush towards him, but the weapon inched closer to your neck.

the glare gideon sent you and intense heat that soaked into your neck made you gulp down harshly, slowly laying your back against the wall once more.

mando, without saying a word, continued to close the distance between you all. his blaster in his grasp, pointed at gideon alone. "drop the blaster." gideon demanded. mando paused in his tracks, digesting his situation carefully.

he knew that he had to get you two out without any casualties on your end, but he wasn't sure as to how just yet. "slowly." mando did as he was ushered. "now, kick it over to me." the sound of the blaster sliding against the floor made you cringe. "very nice."

"give me the kids." mando orders him while gesturing over to the both of you. you already felt a sense of safety within his presence.

you trusted mando more than enough to know that he wouldn't ever let anything bad be brought upon you now that you're within his care, and because of that you were finally able to breathe normally again.

"they are just fine where they're at." gideon rejected mando's suggestion. gideon went on about the history of the sword which you tuned out due to the fact that your sight was held tightly on mando.

you're eyes began to water, all you wanted more than anything was to be back in the razor crest and drinking soup with your two other halves in sync. "you keep it. i just want the kids." mando told him simply, all he truly wanted — and needed, was you two.

you're chest lightened at those words, surely gideon wouldn't be so foolish to refuse such an offer.

"very well." gideon's sword slowly retracting itself from existence. you let the air that had been building up within your chest out, as huge relief came pouring out of you. "i already for what i wanted from them." he told him, "their blood. all i wanted was to study their blood." he clarified, even though it wasn't really necessary. "these children are extremely gifted... and have been blessed with rare properties that have the potential to bring order back to the galaxy."

mando's eyes were glued onto you and grogu, not giving a single thought to whatever gideon was telling him. your safety still wasn't guaranteed, so he wasn't letting his guard down. "i see your bond with them." gideon commented, that was the sentence that made him look over to gideon. "take them," mando, without a second thought, began to take a step closer to you two, "—but you will leave my ship immediately and we will go our separate ways."

"they mean more to me than you will ever know." mando replied to him; however, all he was truly focused on was the two of you.

your heart swelled up with thankfulness, and admiration for the mandalorian who had taken you under his wing.

it seemed to shock gideon as he walked past him, you jumped up from your seat and rushed into his arms. "mando!" you cried out, pressing your cheek against his cold metal gear.

"hi —" you could almost hear the soft smile underneath his mask due to his gentle tone he used with you; however, he suddenly grunted as gideon had began to rapidly hit him with the sword.

mando blocked you from any chance of impact against you with his hardened armor until he was able to push you away from him in order to protect you against the enemy's attack.

your cries of horror only continued as mando and gideon continued to fight their way out of the room. you knew you needed to help mando, after everything he's ever done you owed him more than you could ever imagine.

you're heart raced as sounds of bashing weapons, and clashing of metals filled the entirety of your senses. mumbles of curses which you heard mando use flowed out of your mouth naturally.

you began to bash your handcuffs against the wall, each strike getting stronger as adrenaline pumped through you until they fell off of your wrists. "i'll be back grogu!" you promised him, before rushing your way out into the hallway. your eyes were as wide as coins as you saw mando losing in his battle with gideon. "get away from him!" you yelled at gideon before lifting both your hands towards him.

"no!" mando shouted, but that was before you had begun to choke out gideon all yourself. the intense fury that flowed through your veins into the pressure you were using against the well-being of gideon.

you're face hardened as the sounds of gideon losing air began to resonate like beautiful symphonies to you. "hey, kid, that's enough — let go of him!" mando's scared voice was the only one that would bring you out of this kind of repulsive state.

you finally took in gideon's paled face, and succumbed to mando's wishes. you released him, and his body crashed against the ground.

mando looked between you and gideon, confused as to what he had just witnessed. he's never seen you so worked up before, nor with such a murderous intent. you hadn't ever killed a person before — at least, not to his knowledge. here you were, all of a sudden, certainly trying your best to make gideon suffer immensely.

the pause was deathly, and it gave you some time to recollect your thoughts on as to the severity you had gone in order to protect mando from harm, that alone caused your eyes to be consumed with horror.

"go get your brother." mando's voice sounded shockingly normal with a tint of initial shock, as he bent down to gideon. you bobbed your head up and down, and immediately did as told.

the both of you were silent as the mission continued on. you didn't have anything to say to him besides an apology and that you didn't know where your head went within that moment. he reassured you that it was okay, and he understood how you were feeling but to not tread cross those lines again.

you sat in a chair with your brother on your lap, looking off into the distance as you repeated that moment with gideon in your head at least a thousand times. you analyzed everything down to the tiniest detail: how you felt, how IT felt, how it started, how it ended.

though, all of that faded as you sense a familiar aura behind you. you turned the chair slightly around to allow you and your brother to peak over to the figure from it, and your eyes widened as you noticed who it was. "are you a jedi?" mando questioned, his body hovering in front of the chair in which you both sat at. he was subconsciously protecting you as if it had become an immediate instinct.

"i am." he answers, before his gaze fell onto you both. he gestures his hand out to you, "come, little ones." your body teases, unsure as to what he was asking from you. mando's mask quickly turned towards you two, and you and your brother shot him your attention as well. your eyes spoke volumes within mando's mind.

his masked face turned back towards the supposed jedi standing before him, trying to take his entire purpose that was bestowed upon him away. "they don't want to go with you." mando informed him.

"they want your permission." the jedi stated, and that alone hit mando's inner thoughts hard. he didn't want to say goodbye — he wasn't prepared to.

he spent this entire time working to get to this point, and now that he's finally here it has easily became his worst fear. you, his funny little girl who'd light up a room with a simple smile, was now slipping through his fingers and there was nothing he could do to prevent it from happening. "they are strong with the force, but talent without training is nothing."

you and your bothers eyes punctuate from both men. how could you possibly cope with leaving someone who has become your entire home? "i will give my life to protect these children... but they will not be safe until they master their abilities."

mando seemed to be conflicted as he turned to you both. you stood up teary-eyed and not ready to ever say goodbye to someone who had been the first to give you the moon and more as you handed him grogu.

he wrapped his hand around your shoulder, the kind of gesture that always made you feel as if he was more than just a simple guardian to you. he nudged you both closer to the jedi. "hey, go on." he softly spoke as if he was unsure himself. you shot him a panicked glance, you didn't want this to be the end of your travels with the mandalorian. "that's who you belong with. he's one of your kind."

you looked up at his metal helmet with the most fear in your eyes. you couldn't swallow this lost down — you'd never want to leave his side, but your future depended on it. "i'll see you again." he promised you, placing his hand which was on your shoulder on top of your head and ruffling your hair quite a bit to cause a ragged look.

grogu reached his hand out to mando's mask, and for the first time he slowly revealed his face to the both of you.

his eyes were just as tearful as yours, which made you feel some comfort that you weren't the only one who hated the idea of being separated from the other.

you and grogu took in his features, most likely because it would be one of the last times you'll see it. grogu carressed mando's slightly breaded face, causing mando's lips to track upward a tad.

you held wrapped your hand tightly around mando's waist. goodbye is something you should've ever have to say to him, and your heart couldn't handle it to say the very least. "all right, pals." his voice — his true voice soaked into your mind. "it's time to go." he mentally reminds himself to not get too carried away by his increasing melancholy.

grogu whines at the sense that fell from his mouth, and you flinch due to the uncertainty of ever seeing him again. yes, he promised; but, what if something happens and he's not there?

your bottom lip begins to tremble as the impact of the realness of the moment changes everything for you. "don't be afraid." he tells you both, stroking your back with the hand that wasn't carrying grogu.

all three of you pause as you all try to take in this moment as if it was the last. after, he puts grogu down on the ground and unlatched you from his figure, and an instant after that you both were connecting yourself against him. grogu was at his foot, looking up at him with his eyes almost as if he was asking to be picked up once more. you were at his side, holding onto his arm for dear life.

it gave mando the smallest bit of hope back that you two weren't going to allow for such a separation between you two to happen.

suddenly, a robot which you knew pretty well rolled into the room. it caught both you, and your brothers attention. you both walked over to it and allowed yourself to childishly be engulfed within the excitement.

your laughter, which the mandalorian hadn't heard in quite some time, filled his heart with an abundance amount of warmth and unknowingly to the both of you, the jedi and mando both gave one another a nod.

the jedi picked up grogu, which caused you to quickly turn towards him and then mando. the reality of the situation settling in your chest once again, causing all of a sudden an intense battle between your future and what your heart is telling you.

you stood up, twisting your glance from the jedi and mando. the jedi looked down to you, and placed his hand onto your shoulder in order to offer you some support.

you tried to speak, to voice what your heart was screaming at you to say... but nothing ended up coming out. you looked down to the floor as your face fell into a deep blue. "may the force be with you." the jedi bid mando goodbye, before his hand slid from your shoulder to your back.

he herded you back through the door, and you couldn't help yourself but to glance back at mando's distraught expression once more.

you tried to turn your body towards him once more, but the jedi's grasp on you unable you for such movement. you lifted your hand out to him slightly, wanting to return to his side more than anything.

the attachment between all three of you could be seen, even with the amount of distance you had taken.

there was a single moment where you were finally confident enough to voice your protest and reject training in order to return to mando's side.

you set your sight onto the jedi once more and opened your mouth to speak, but the door enclosed you from mando. you closed your mouth and looked back to the ground, feeling as if a part of you was missing.

next part to ‘bitterness behind goodbyes’ short series.

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