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#the marauders era incorrect quotes
not-rab · 5 months
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13-year-old Sirius: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.
12-year-old Regulus: Okay.
[downstairs]
Walburga: What do you want for breakfast?
Sirius: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.
Walburga: Go to your room!
Walburga, to Regulus: And what do you want?
Regulus: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.
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that-bitch-kat3 · 6 months
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walburga: you’re not good enough for my son
remus: you’re not good enough for your son
walburga: excuse me?
remus: you heard me.
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phoneypotatoes · 1 month
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Harry: *finds a stray cat*
Harry: Can we keep it?
Regulus: Your dad is allergic.
Harry: Father can stay outside.
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daddiesdrarryy · 3 months
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Barty: You slept with Potter?
Regulus: I didn’t know what else to do! He had those big, sad eyes. I couldn’t help it!
Evan: …sure, sounds like you had no other choice
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my-castles-crumbling · 5 months
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Falling asleep in the dorms…
“Sirius?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think I like Evans anymore.”
“Shit mate, took you long enough.”
“Heh. Yeah.”
“Sirius?”
“Yeah, Prongs?”
“I might like boys. Also. Like as well as girls.”
“Join the club, Prongs. Just stay the fuck away from Moony.”
“Noted.”
“Sirius?”
“Yeah, mate?”
“What if I like a particular bloke?”
“…it’s not me, is it? Because Moony would probably kill you.”
“No.”
….
“Sirius?”
“Yes, Prongs?”
“It’s your brother.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“Yeah, I was just fucking with you before.”
“Right.”
“Sirius?”
“Yes Prongs?”
“That’s…it’s okay?”
“Yes, James. I’d rather it be you than anyone else, to be honest.”
“Alright.”
“Sirius?”
“Go the fuck to sleep, Prongs. We’ll come up with a plan to woo him tomorrow.”
“Alright.”
….
“James?”
“What’s up, Padfoot?”
“Take care of him, alright?”
“…..yeah. Yeah, of course.”
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chasingthestarss · 3 months
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James: I think I’m in love with you!
Regulus :
James:
Regulus: *pulls out a big binder with pieces of paper sticking out everywhere
James: what’s this?
Regulus: Our wedding plans, I’ve been planning it since first year. Remus taught me to scrap book.
James: *in love
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rhetorical-conscience · 3 months
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James: We need to talk about your mental health.
Regulus, trying to change the subject: Actually, what I need is to be dicked down right now.
James:
Regulus:
James, removing his tie: You know, one of these days that isn't going to work-
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loz-tearsofahomo · 3 months
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James: and so I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Reg-
Evan: I'm sorry?
James: Well hes-
Evan: No I'm just sorry.
Barty: yeah mate praying for you
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moonytoastx · 4 months
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Regulus: "Your eyes are red. Are you high again?"
Barty, imitating Regulus: "ArE yOu HiGH AGaIN?"
Barty: "No, bitch. I've been crying.
Regulus:
Regulus: "Oh."
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theprongspotter · 6 months
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Sirius, coming out: I don’t like women.
James, gasping: You’re a misogynist?!
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gh0stlylace · 3 months
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Harry standing on his bed at home during sixth year,singing into his hair brush as music blasts from his muggle radio: “But I am my father’s daughter, So maybe I can fix him”
James who’s leaning against his door frame watching him with a confused expression: “What do you think he’s singing about?”
Regulus sighing as he stares at the quidditch sweatshirt Harry has on that clearly said “Malfoy” across the back: “Not a clue babe, Let’s go make dinner”
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not-rab · 5 months
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James: How did you get your brother to co-operate with you?
Sirius: I threatened to reveal his dark secret.
James: Which is what?
Sirius: I have no idea, I was bluffing, but it must be something horrible.
James *nervous sweating*:
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apoetsworld · 19 days
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James: Tell your brother that its important to talk about his feelings!!!
Sirius: pfft why?? Its not.
Regulus: SEE. We grew up just ignoring every feeling, and look how great we turned out!
James: THATS TRAUMA, YOU WERE REPRESSED-
Regulus: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY THAT ITS JUST MY PERSONALITY, MY LIFESTYLE-
James: YOUR TRAUMA-
Regulus: TRAUMA BUILDS CHARACTER JAMES
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daddiesdrarryy · 4 months
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Remus: Right hand blue
James: This Twister game is so fun!
Regulus: Not that fun. Are you sure this is right, Remus? Potter is practically on top of me
Remus: Of course it is!
Sirius, whispers: Is it?
Remus: I haven’t used the spinner in half an hour
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my-castles-crumbling · 4 months
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Gay Panic?
First year:
James, casually: So my uncle has a husband.
Sirius, shocked: You can do that?
James: Yeah, I reckon so.
-
Second year:
Sirius: So I have a gay uncle too.
James, not really bothered: Weird, mate. Guess a lot of people are gay.
Sirius, a bit contemplative: Hahaha. Weird.
-
Third year:
Sirius, nervously: Do you ever want to kiss people?
James: Girls, right? You mean girls?
Sirius, even more nervously: Erm, yeah. Girls.
James: Yeah, I like Evans. She’s like…bossy-hot.
-
Fourth year:
Remus: So…I'm gay.
Sirius, having a gay crisis: Ohhhh! Erm, we support you!
James, also panicking, thinking of gay Regulus: Yes. We're allies!
Sirius, still internally panicking: Such allies.
-
Fifth year:
Sirius, freaking out again: So, you know how we're like…allies?
James, paranoid, worried Sirius saw him staring at Reggie: Yeah?
Sirius: Allies can have like…gay dreams, right? And still be straight?
James, relieved: Oh. Oh, yeah! Absolutely. I do, too! And I'm a thousand percent straight.
-
Sixth year:
Sirius, really having a crisis after Remus returned to school six inches taller: It's totally normal as a straight person to have a crush on another bloke, right?
James, still fully in denial even though he's been stalking Reg on the Map: Erm, yeah. Definitely. We're both straight.
-
Seventh year:
Sirius, having just kissed Remus: So actually Im definitely gay and I'm dating Moony and that crush and those dreams were all very gay.
James: Well FUCK what am I, then?
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nixnight1 · 4 months
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Regulus high with Barty at the Potter's
Sirius: Can I get in here? I need the- Oh my god!!
Regulus using Sirius' clothes and makeup: It's like looking on a mirror!!
Sirius: No it isn’t, Regulus >:(
Regulus: Who's Regulus?
Barty: I already can't tell who is who
Sirius: Take that stuff off
Regulus: Moony! Get in here and settle this!
Sirius: Don't call my boyfriend "Moony"
Remus: What? OH woah-hey Hey, travel size Pads! Awww
Sirius: Moonyyyy, you're encouraging him
James: I need the bathroom... Oh wow this is confusing
Sirius: No, it's not!
Regulus: You're my family and I love you all, but I'm cooler than all of you!
Sirius: I don't say that
James: Well that's all you say
Remus and Barty: Yeah
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