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#the matt i’m referring to is joel’s brother
joshua-bradley · 3 months ago
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Jethro: We need to get through this locked door. Joel, give me your credit card.
Joel: Here.
Jethro, pocketing it: Thanks. Matt, kick down the door.
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critrolestats · a year ago
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Media References and Puns of 2-108 Traveler Con
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Thanks to @angmarim for this art piece!
Media References
(0:00:24) Sam: I was jamming out to some frat fusion rock. You see, I’m Bob Matthews, Dave Matthews’ younger brother. What-a would you say if I told you that Peterson Games is the best of what’s around? [...] make me want to eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow. All you little ants better go march [...] Do not take these chances. [...] wrap it up inside a box or a quiet... [...] This isn’t a typical situation in these typical... I guess I crashed that one. [...] Satellite.
(0:02:46) Matt: Who was it that said Adam Sandler?
(0:02:59) Liam: Take that hat off, look at Ashley, and give us an, “Ellie.” [...] Sam: Ellie, get in the jeep. Is there a jeep? I’ve never played this game. Ashley: Say, “Ellie, get on the pallet.” Sam: Ellie, get on the pallet. [...] Ellie, get in the Humvee. Is there a Humvee? Ellie, watch out for the zombies. Clickers. Matt: I will play this DLC happily. Sam Riegel as Joel. (The Last of Us)
(0:14:07) Laura: I’m dancing like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club.
(0:21:30) Liam: Transformers!
(0:26:57) Matt: It’s like two teenagers with their first Ouija board.
Read more at critrolestats.com
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eightiesfinalgirl · 7 months ago
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For months, I have wanted to put my s3 of tua music choices on here but have greatly procrastinated. Well, I have finally put my list together. Here we go!
fight for your right - beastie boys
Sparrows vs. Umbrellas. A great way to start the season would be with a fight between reginald’s pupils, even better with a fight seemingly deeming if they are strong enough to keep or send into the depths of hotel oblivion. Also it slaps and can rival the backstreet boys moment from season two.
psycho killer - talking heads
Let five kick a sparrow’s ass. A one on one battle between five and a sparrow, his experience outweighing theirs. Not the mention that this would be a great way to foreshadow the eventual “evil five” or show him becoming a shadow of himself in fighting/killing.
history repeating - shirley bassey
Okay, kneworder said this song should be in tua and I can't help but agree. History is most definitely repeating in five’s case. Perfect vibes.
hotel california - the eagles 
A song showing the out of time and bizarre nature of hotel oblivion as the hargreeves wake to their new surroundings and helplessness. The line of “this could be heaven or this could be hell” rings true in many ways for many predictions of season 3, whether it be the hotel itself or veggie’s abuse in regards to five. I imagine the hotel to look like some “honeymoon motel” of the 50s and 60s, or a vegas/la/palm springs hotel of the same era.
changes - david bowie
The song reflects the change between the umbrellas and sparrows, not to mention the umbrellas coming to terms with their predicament, and how difficult it will be to get back home and their own timeline. Also a great time for showing five transitioning to becoming a sparrow. And let's be frank, we need a david bowie song in tua.
one way or another - blondie
The return of the commission! I am not hopeful that the complete changing of the timeline will go over well in the commissioning books even with dot and herb in charge. Also, since the timeline is seemingly overwritten, GIVE ME BACK HAZEL AND CHA-CHA!
poker face - lady gaga
This song screams klaus and allison, who are most likely to be the center hargreeves this season. Its a bop and fits the energy of tua.
voulez-vous - abba
Abba for s3.
as the world caves in - matt maltese
apocalypse flashbacks!!! A teenage five navigating around the apocalypse, in either flashback, or a retelling of his time there to a sparrow or fellow umbrella. Even angstier is five drinking himself silly to this song that I desperately want but also never want to see. 
i hate myself for loving you - joan jett
This is for my girl Lila, go get your man!! A great parallel to the fight with “I was made for loving you” from season 2, and despite your opinions on lila and diego together, let them come back together in season 3. 
loser - beck
This song just fits perfect into the vibes of tua, and no, I won't take criticism on this.
we didn’t start the fire - billy joel
A long time fan favorite chosen with good reason. A good song for a compilation scene/trailer. 
the cult of dionysus - the orion experience 
A basic choice for klaus, but it fits too perfect to not want to add it to the soundtrack. But all the same, letting klaus show his full powers to this song would bring the parallel between destiny’s children and the ghosts back to the forefront of klaus’ arc. Also lowkey my vote for a gerard way cover. 
mama don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys - waylon jennings and willie nelson
We have to have that country ambience and would be a great song to be playing in the background of a scene.
coat of many colors - dolly parton
This song is sad at its core. However, its a sweet sentiment. A culmination of experiences made the characters this way and this song can put it to words. Also dolly parton deserves everything including being on the soundtrack.
folsom prison blues - johnny cash
It is as it says on the tin. A compilation of our umbrellas attempting their escape from the hotel. And let’s be real, diego goes apeshit trying to get out and I would like to see it. 
in bloom - sturgill simpson 
 A cover of the original from nirvana but hurts a million times more. “Don’t know what it means to love someone” was a changed line from the original. Interpret this as you will, I simply think it is pretty and matches the vibes of the show. 
norwegian wood - the beatles
Psychedelic song about an affair, but can be applied to being sneaky while high off your ass. It has a klaus vibe, very much one that could be used for a flashback of him and dave in vietnam, us finally being able to see their relationship in full force. Also works for hallucinations similar to Vanya’s LSD trip.
northern downpour - panic! at the disco
It has rain and moon references and is trippy. Enough said. “Hey moon, please forget to fall down” is too on the nose to not use it. 
walk like an egyptian - the bangles
Fight scene bitches! Imagine a fight showcasing the sparrows’ powers in a museum in contrast to the umbrellas fighting in the bank from the first season. 
singing in the rain - gene kelly
ya like puns, five? You know, murder in the rain with umbrella five? I want evil five to go batshit and give his infamous gazelle speech with this playing afterwards as blood is washed away by rain.
back to black - amy winehouse
Allison time! Let her mourn claire and raymond! I would also adore if Emmy got to do another cover, as this song would be beautiful and really show allison’s breakdown.
brother - gerard way
Okay this song is so fucking painful. The umbrellas trying to get five with this song playing in the background, them absolutely desperate for their little brother to come back to them and not be an evil bastard so they have to finally admit to him that they love him. Extra pain if this scene also has sparrow ben. Not to be mcr on main, but knowing gerard based large portions of the comics on actual occurrences in his life, you can't tell me this would be perfect. 
elegia - new order
Ominous and synthy, great way to close a scene, especially following a betrayal or death, take your pick.
gimme gimme gimme - abba
Gimme gimme but on a string quartet. A little bit of abba for the fandom and a little bit of violin for vanya. Extra points if its done by lindsey stirling.
spread your wings - queen
This is for my girl sloane. We don’t know much about her, but a romantic tied down by her family in the sparrow academy? This is perfect, but I think an instrumental playing in the background may be the best. 
rock the house - gorillaz
The lack of gorillaz in tua is saddening. If you read the comics, you are probably familiar with the televator. This song very much sounds like elevator music but has the capacity for being great background music. 
A day in the life - the beatles
This song is weird af, but has the feeling of being off. Good for the hotel aspect and the days bleeding together. 
live and let die - wings
This song can be angsty as fuck for everything falling apart around the umbrellas.
house of the rising sun - the animals
Pretty popular for s3 music choices, and for good reason.
save yourself, i’ll hold them back - my chemical romance
Ayy, can’t forget mcr in a tua music list. Danger days is the tua album, prove me wrong. Angst.
Alright, these are my picks. I’m sure the majority of these won’t make it to the soundtrack, but theories are fun. Let me know what you think!
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RvB16 Episode 3 Review: Lost Time
(Old Blog Repost)
Wasn’t last week fun everyone? I thought it was fun! But yeah, a lot of shit happened despite Grif’s attempts to not let shit happen… that we can argue caused the shit to happen. Isn’t meta humor fun kids?! But yeah scary alien woman attacked (and converted Tumblr into her own group of worshipers from what I can tell), Donut is a God, and everyone’s been separated ala Season 3. Only this time with time travel… ala Season 3 but the separation happened before that part. I just gave myself a headache. Well.. lets get on with the review while my brain is still intact.
Overview
We begin on… IDK if it’s a planet or not, but someplace with snow! This is where Grif and Doc got sent… so this is the second time a portal sent Grif off to same snowy wasteland. Man, this really is like Season 3 only he’s taking Church’s role as the grumpy one while Doc is… Doc. Well at least he didn’t get hit in the nuts immideatly after this time or thrown in a cell! Anyways, yeah snowy wasteland. Doc is freaked out about the entire thing and what it means while Grif is trying to figure out how the portal gun works so that they can get out before they freeze. He’s also grumpy. But to be fair, if I saw a perfectly good pizza parlor blow up in front of me, I would be grumpy too.
Grif is also refusing to let Doc help or even get near him. Why? Well he’s pissed off cause they got roped into bullshit again, but the biggest thing seems to be that he got stuck with Doc who… you know, is a piss poor combatant, bad at his medic job, and had betrayed them not too long ago. To be fair, Doc… completely understands Grif hating him for that. Heck, he feels guilty for what he did. I’ll get into it more int he analysis portion, but it looks like Joe may be giving Doc character development… or is leading up to a joke later. but hey he’s giving Doc attention. More than I can say for Miles’ run (sorry Miles, I love you but I’m gonna point stuff like that out). Grif ignores the sob story to work on the gun,a nd to his credit he gets the thing to work… on shuffle. Okay, why did God put a shuffle function on the gun? Then again, God has his ways and as a Christian I should know to not question it… assuming that that’s the God we’re refereeing to anyways. Lets just pretend that’s the case for now.
Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have made the same revelation. The two of them have ended up, to my glee, in Valhalla! Since the Recolleciton Trilogy is my favorite storyline, seeing it again makes me SO happy. IDK what point this is at. It could be before the Reds and Caboose got sent there, could be after the Reds fought Wash and the Meta, I don’t know. But who cares? It’s Valhalla again! I am happy! Also we learn that Tucker is atheist and Sister, like her brother, is agnostic. Good to know!
Tucker tries to figure out Donut’s cryptic warning of ‘the key to fixing the future is to fix the past’ or something along those lines. Sister however wants to hold it off and have a little ‘fun’ with Tucker… boy going through time to bang various historical figures! And Sister is officially more sexually ambitious than Tucker could ever hope to be. Tucker, being Tucker, is unhappy that… you know, she doesn’t want to bang him and all. He also refers to them apparently having had sex in Blood Gulch that… I forgot about I guess. But Sister says it didn’t happen and it wasn’t all that memorable anyways. Ouch… you know, when binging I found Sister pointless all in all and writing her out would have changed nothing. But now that she’s back and Joe is actually giving her attention, I freakin’ LOVE her. Keep it up Joe!
So now over to Simmons and Sarge with Simmons trying to figure the gun out. Him being a nerd, he’s far more confused and nitpicky about it than the others have been. Sarge is more than happy to accept having a ‘magic gun’ though and wants to get on to the ‘fixing the past’ thing. How? Well his first thought is to go to The Battle of Broken Ridge. Apparently it was rather traumatic for Sarge and going back would reopen some old wounds, but he’s willing to face it to fix it. We’ll talk more about this later. Simmons wants to instead go to a lab to get the gun taken apart to figure out how it works since nothing else had made sense and he wants to have something explainable. But Sarge convinces him to just figure it out by actually using the gun, leading us to the Battle of Broken Ridge… so using Ancient Egypt last episode was a total copout so no mummy fights. Damn it!
So yeah, after Gus, I mean Simmons, I mean Gus (come on, you can’t tell me he WOULDN’T do the same thing cause nerds) acts like a nerd by making a log, he and Sarge see the battle in progress. Past Sarge was a lieutenant at the time and sends his men out to make a surprise attack while he covered them from behind the ridges. This ended with them all getting massacred, and present Sarge figures that this is because the went in the wrong direction. SO he goes and tells them to go the other way.. which past Sarge makes them go back and… well, you can figure out how it ends. From the afterlife, I can just see Church laughing at them cause now they know how he felt during his time travel stint (yeah it was a simulation, but still)
Finally, we have Lopez coming back online after his head came off and Caboose fixed him. Shock of all shocks, I think Caboose has understood what Lopez is saying moreso than any other character as he tries to figure out Donut’s warning. He concludes on… universal savings… okay who let Joel write on the scripts?! But yeah, Caboose wants to create savings accounts for everyone in hopes of saving the universe. Too bad that he lost the penny he had on him, but it’s okay! Cause he actually figured out how the portal gun works! Because of course he did!
So the two end up back to the opening scene. Caboose tries to find his penny and… remember when Caboose seemed to lose focus and Grif had to remind him to find Donut? Turns out that it was resent Caboose and past Caboose actually didn’t lose focus. Ah, I love it when jokes come back around like that! So Caboose goes through another portal to keep looking, Lopez resigns himself to the end of the world, and somewhere Burnie is probably wondering how even with Church dead his character somehow always gets saddled with Joel’s. I guess we’ll never know.
Review
This was shorter than last week, but BOY does it leave me plenty to talk about!
The episode seems to exist to explain how the time travel will work, some more character development setup, and just to have some comedic hijinks after last weeks more plot heavy episode. And I thought it was great! Like I said, it reminds me a lot of Season 3 when everyone was separated and the first episode with it jumping back and forth between the pairs, setting up their situations. IDK if this was an intentional callback, but I liked it nonetheless. And everyones current situations and the pair dynamics were done very well. So lets just go in order here:
Grif and Doc: This is the one I’m most interested in, and so far I’m pleased! Beginning with Grif, he’s reacting exactly how I expected him to, ala being angry at the whole thing. t makes sense. Despite his efforts, the universe decided to shit on him again and thrust him and the others into another adventure and one arguably more insane than ever before. He’s also stuck with Doc, who he’s never particularly been on good terms with. Heck when he WAS friendly to Doc back in Blood Gulch and even got validation for using CPR to cure Sarges head wound, Doc threw him under the bus when he realized that Grif was the butt monkey. That was a dick move. Of course Doc has been shit on by everyone far more at this point, but still Grif’s got a bit more of an excuse than the others. Plus again, he was’t there when Doc turned on them and he at least had the dignity to just quit an tell them that he quit before things went to shit instead of just turn his back on then in a dire moment.
But going to Doc… his reaction is good. He actually takes responsibility for his actions, feels guilty that it contributed to everything that happened (Wash getting shot), and that he ultimately couldn’t talk the Blues and Reds out of their plans. He feels that he failed both sides and that in doing so, everyone got hurt. He even completley understands Grif hating him for it since he feels the same way about it. He doesn’t try to make excuses, even when honestly he has very valid reasons to make excuses. He’s been constantly shit on, forgotten about, and even got trapped in another dimension before and everyone just forgot about it and didn’t care. But we could say that betraying the guys when he knows that the Blues and Reds have fallen off their rocker was going a tad too far, even if he did try to use it to convince them to stop and failed. But its a nice look into Doc’s current psyche and Matt did a great job expressing how disappointed in himself he is.
Now will this lead to anything? It might. Normally with Doc, it’s hard to tell. I feel there may be a point where Doc either sacrifices himself to save Grif in a pivitol moment, like shoving him through a portal when one of the villains find him, or he goes all O’Malley to make a sacrifice play so that Grif can escape. IDK, but going off the self-loathing there’s a god chance that something’s gonna happen and this time it may have more of an impact. We’ll have to wait and see, but  hey it’s something. Can’t wait to see what happens with these two next!
Tucker and Sister: Their moment is mainly for comedy but it was good! Like I said, I loved seeing Valhalla again. IDK if they’ll still be there later, but hey I appreciate the callback. It’s also nice to see Tucker being… well, Tucker again. Hes had a lot of character development since Chorus, and it was very well done. But after last season, while I personally didn’t find him OOC, I an see why the way he was written was frustrating for people. Plus after all the events in Chorus and S15, I think we needed to see him in a happier state of mind, and it looks like he is. I said before that it felt like S15 was Joe trying to put the bookend on Blue Team’s problems, and I think it shows. Tucker seems far more relaxed and comedic, like during Recollection. Hopefully he still has his newfound competence, and I assume that when things go to shit again we’ll see that. But he’s in a place where he can be comedic Tucker without him coming across as an arrogant idiot, so this is good.
Then we have Sister… OMG Sister. SO as I said above, I did not care about Sister when I was watertight Blood Gulch. She wasn’t particularly bad, her personality was strong and fitting for the cast of characters she was in. But… she didn’t really do anything. According to Burnie on the DVD commentaries, he had wanted to add her for a while and S5 was the only place he could, but still you could write he rout and very little would change. Her being gone for over half the series since then doesn’t help. But the upside to adidng her back is now they can actually do stuff with her, and so far I’m happy!
Okay so Sister’s so far only expressed wanting to bang historical figures and I kind of hope we can see her do more than make sex jokes. But hey, we can officially confirm her bi now so yay canon bisexual character! Plus the way her and Tucker’s banter was written was very well done. It was really funny and her proving to be far more ambitious with her sex life and finding Tucker not worth remembering was hilarious. Plus her just not giving a shit about Tucker’s advances are both hilarious and make me very happy. Sorry Tucker, but hey at least our probably the only guy who an claim to have had sex with an entire planet… and still paying the lawsuit for it XD
Sarge and Simmons: It was hilarious, Plain and simple. It’s been a pretty good while since these two had one-on-one time and so far I’m pleased with what we have. Simmons wanting to study the gun and have some kind of explanation he can cling to when noting else is making any kind of logical sense is perfectly IC. I’m also glad to see him actually disagreeing with Sarge and trying to get his own point across. Simmons has mostly grown out of the kissass phase, at least tot he extent he was in Blood Gulch, and I’m glad to see that sticking. He feels a lot mroe independent but still the nerd we all know and love. Character development, yay!
Then we have the Battle of Broken Ridge and all the continuity stuff it brings up. If I had to guess, it takes place early in Sarge’s military career before he became an ODST or this was before he got put into Blood Gulch. Considering we don’t completely know how these outposts operate aside form how they use the SIM troopers, I don’t find it hard to buy that Sarge has been on multiple Red Teams before getting recruited for Blood Gulch. But these guys have brown armor so… IDK. But still, it’s good to see some backstory and it was good to see Sarge try to save his men. Sure it looks like he failed, but hey he tried.
Still, it really DOES make me ponder on this whole ‘fixing the past’ thing. Like… what does Donut mean by the past? For the Reds and Blues to fix their own pasts? I’m assuming not since Sarge only inadvertently caused it. Did the villains do something in the past and damage it? Why didn’t Donut just say that though? Or is ‘God’ just using the Reds and Blues to invoke what will fulfill the prophecy mentioned in Episode 1? After all, it’s said they end the world and this may be the catalyst that cause sit, hence why Huggins (where is she BTW?) has to follow them around. But I would hope that the puppetmaster would have made a reasonable explanation about what had to be fixed to provoke that. IDK, it’s way too early to tell and this is a multi-part saga, so we’re just gonna have to see how it plays out.
And finally…
Caboose and Lopez: THIS WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR. Caboose being… Caboose, but also showing that he CAN be competent in his own way. Sure he got Donut’s message wrong, but at least he was thinking about it. Plus he was able to both fix Lopez and actually understand what he said. IDK if Caboose can speak Spanish, but I absolute believe that he can just until what Lopez is saying. And unlike everyone else, except maybe Simmons unless they just used shuffle enough times until they got the right portal (which if that isn’t the case, kudos to Simmons for figuring it out on his own), Caboose is the only one who figured out how to make the gun work. So now hes on a Penny Quest as Lopez continues to regret his own existence. I love it!
I admit I wasn’t sure how this was going to work since Caboose and Lopez are the two most incomprehensible characters int he show. Caboose is random and dimwitted, and no one an understand Lopez at all. But it’s surprisingly really funny so far! Normally having characters together alone like this without someone else to keep it balanced can be annoying very quickly. But in this case, it came off as really funny and not exaggerated. I guess it helps that Caboose can understand what Lopez is saying, but still it’s just the right balance. Which is good since I assume that they’re going to be the comedy relief pair for now. But who knows?
Final Thoughts
As I said, this seems to be here to show us how the time travel will play out and I assume the next episode will either cut to Chorus or focus on one pair for the majority of it. We’ll have to see. Still, this was good! The interactions were really good and I really enjoyed seeing it play out. Everyone felt IC and leaves plenty of setup for their respective situations. It leaves the question of what happened to Donut, but I guess we’ll find out eventually. But overall, this was a fun episode that perfectly sets up what we can expect. Hopefully, we’ll be delivered just what we’re hoping for.
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calliecat93 · 3 years ago
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RvB16 Episode 3 Review: Lost Time
Wasn’t last week fun everyone? I thought it was fun! But yeah, a lot of shit happened despite Grif’s attempts to not let shit happen... that we can argue caused the shit to happen. Isn’t meta humor fun kids?! But yeah scary alien woman attacked (and converted Tumblr into her own group of worshipers from what I can tell), Donut is a God, and everyone’s been separated ala Season 3. Only this time with time travel... ala Season 3 but the separation happened before that part! I just gave myself a headache. Well.. lets get on with the review while my brain is still intact.
Overview
We begin on... IDK if it’s a planet or not, but someplace with snow! This is where Grif and Doc got sent... so this is the second time a portal sent Grif off to same snowy wasteland. Man, this really is like Season 3 only he’s taking Church’s role as the grumpy one while Doc is... Doc. Well at least he didn’t get hit in the nuts immideatly after  or thrown in a prison cell this time! Anyways, snowy wasteland! Doc is freaked out about the entire thing and what it means while Grif is trying to figure out how the portal gun works so that they can get out before they freeze. He’s also grumpy. But to be fair, if I saw a perfectly good pizza parlor blow up in front of me, I would be grumpy too.
Grif is also refusing to let Doc help or even get near him. Why? Well he’s pissed off cause they got roped into bullshit again, but the biggest thing seems to be that he got stuck with Doc who... you know, is a piss poor combatant, bad at his medic job, and had betrayed them not too long ago. To be fair, Doc... completely understands Grif hating him for that. Heck, he feels guilty for what he did. I’ll get into it more in the analysis portion, but it looks like Joe may be giving Doc character development... or is leading up to a joke later. but hey he’s giving Doc attention. More than I can say for Miles’ run (sorry Miles, I love you but I’m gonna point stuff like that out). Grif ignores the sob story to work on the gun, and to his credit he gets the thing to work... on shuffle. Okay, why did God put a shuffle function on the gun? Then again, God has his ways and as a Christian I should know to not question it... assuming that that’s the God we’re refereeing to anyways. Lets just pretend that’s the case for now.
Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have made the same revelation. The two of them have ended up, to my glee, in Valhalla! Since the Recollection Trilogy is my favorite storyline, seeing it again makes me SO happy. IDK what point this is at. It could be before the Reds and Caboose got sent there, could be after the Reds fought Wash and the Meta, I don’t know. But who cares? It’s Valhalla again! I am happy! Also we learn that Tucker is atheist and Sister, like her brother, is agnostic. Good to know!
Tucker tries to figure out Donut’s cryptic warning of ‘the key to fixing the future is to fix the past’ or something along those lines. Sister however wants to hold it off and have a little ‘fun’ with Tucker... by going through time to bang various historical figures! And Sister is officially more sexually ambitious than Tucker could ever hope to be. Tucker, being Tucker, is unhappy that... you know, she doesn't want to bang him and all. He also refers to them apparently having had sex in Blood Gulch that... I forgot about I guess. But Sister says it didn’t happen and it wasn’t all that memorable anyways. Ouch... you know, when binging I found Sister pointless all in all and that writing her out would have changed nothing. But now that she’s back and Joe is actually giving her attention, I freakin’ LOVE her. Keep it up Joe!
So now over to Simmons and Sarge with Simmons trying to figure the gun out. Him being a nerd, he’s far more confused and nitpicky about it than the others have been. Sarge is more than happy to accept having a ‘magic gun’ though and wants to get on to the ‘fixing the past’ thing. How? Well his first thought is to go to The Battle of Broken Ridge. Apparently it was rather traumatic event for Sarge and going back would reopen some old wounds, but he’s willing to face it to fix it. We’ll talk more about this later. Simmons wants to instead go to a lab to get the gun taken apart to figure out how it works since nothing else had made sense and he wants to have something explainable. But Sarge convinces him to just figure it out by actually using the gun, leading us to the Battle of Broken Ridge... so using Ancient Egypt last episode was a total copout so no mummy fights. Damn it!
So yeah, after Gus, I mean Simmons, I mean Gus (come on, you can’t tell me he WOULDN’T do the same thing cause nerds) acts like a nerd by making a log, he and Sarge see the battle in progress. Past!Sarge was a lieutenant at the time and sends his men out to make a surprise attack while he covered them from behind the ridges. This ended with them all getting massacred, and present!Sarge figures that this is because the went in the wrong direction. So he goes and tells them to go the other way.. which past!Sarge makes them go back and... well, you can figure out how it ends. From the afterlife, I can just see Church laughing at them cause now they know how he felt during his time travel stint.
Finally, we have Lopez coming back online after his head came off and Caboose fixed him. Shock of all shocks, I think Caboose has understood what Lopez is saying moreso than any other character as he tries to figure out Donut’s warning. He concludes on... universal savings... okay who let Joel write on the scripts?! But yeah, Caboose wants to create savings accounts for everyone in hopes of saving the universe. Too bad that he lost the penny he had on him, but it’s okay! Cause he actually figured out how the portal gun works! Because of course he did!
So the two end up back to the opening scene. Caboose tries to find his penny and... remember when Caboose seemed to lose focus and Grif had to remind him to find Donut? Turns out that it was present!Caboose and past!Caboose actually didn’t lose focus. Ah, I love it when jokes come back around like that! So Caboose goes through another portal to keep looking, Lopez resigns himself to the end of the world, and somewhere Burnie is probably wondering how even with Church dead his character somehow always gets saddled with Joel’s. I guess we’ll never know.
Review
This was shorter than last week, but BOY does it leave me plenty to talk about!
The episode seems to exist to explain how the time travel will work, some more character development setup, and just to have some comedic hijinks after last weeks more plot heavy episode. And I thought it was great! Like I said, it reminds me a lot of Season 3 when everyone was separated and the first episode with it jumping back and forth between the pairs, setting up their situations. IDK if this was an intentional callback, but I liked it nonetheless. And everyone's current situations and the pair dynamics were done very well. So lets just go in order here:
Grif and Doc: This is the one I’m most interested in, and so far I’m pleased! Beginning with Grif, he’s reacting exactly how I expected him to, ala being angry at the whole thing. It makes sense. Despite his efforts, the universe decided to shit on him again and thrust him and the others into another adventure and one arguably more insane than ever before. He’s also stuck with Doc, who he’s never particularly been on good terms with. Heck when he WAS friendly to Doc back in Blood Gulch and even got validation for using CPR to cure Sarges head wound, Doc threw him under the bus when he realized that Grif was the butt monkey. That was a dick move. Of course Doc has been shit on by everyone far more at this point, but still Grif’s got a bit more of an excuse than the others. Plus again, he was’t there when Doc turned on them and he at least had the dignity to just quit and tell them that he quit before things went to shit instead of just turn his back on then in a dire moment. 
But going to Doc... his reaction is good. He actually takes responsibility for his actions, feels guilty that it contributed to everything that happened (Wash getting shot), and that he ultimately couldn’t talk the Blues and Reds out of their plans. He feels that he failed both sides and that in doing so, everyone got hurt. He even completely understands Grif hating him for it since he feels the same way about it. He doesn’t try to make excuses, even when honestly he has very valid reasons to make excuses. He’s been constantly shit on, forgotten about, and even got trapped in another dimension before and everyone just forgot about it or just didn’t care. But we could say that betraying the guys when he knows that the Blues and Reds have fallen off their rocker was going a tad too far, even if he did try to use it to convince them to stop and failed. But its a nice look into Doc’s current psyche and Matt did a great job expressing how disappointed in himself he is.
Now will this lead to anything? It might. Normally with Doc, it’s hard to tell. I feel there may be a point where Doc either sacrifices himself to save Grif in a pivotal moment, like shoving him through a portal when one of the villains find him, or he goes all O’Malley to make a sacrifice play so that Grif can escape. IDK, but going off the self-loathing there’s a good chance that something’s gonna happen, and this time it may have more of an impact. We’ll have to wait and see, but hey it’s something. Can’t wait to see what happens with these two next!
Tucker and Sister: Their moment is mainly for comedy but it was good! Like I said, I loved seeing Valhalla again. IDK if they’ll still be there later, but hey I appreciate the callback. It’s also nice to see Tucker being... well, Tucker again. Hes had a lot of character development since Chorus, and it was very well done. But after last season, while I personally didn’t find him OOC, I can see why the way he was written was frustrating for people. Plus after all the events in Chorus and S15, I think we needed to see him in a happier state of mind, and it looks like he is. I said before that it felt like S15 was Joe trying to put the bookend on Blue Team’s problems, and I think it shows. Tucker seems far more relaxed and comedic, like during Recollection. Hopefully he still has his newfound competence, and I assume that when things go to shit again we’ll see that. But he’s in a place where he can be comedic Tucker without him coming across as an arrogant idiot, so this is good.
Then we have Sister... OMG Sister. SO as I said above, I did not care about Sister when I was watching Blood Gulch. She wasn't particularly bad, her personality was strong and fitting for the cast of characters she was in. But... she didn’t really do anything. According to Burnie on the DVD commentaries, he had wanted to add her for a while and S5 was the only place he could, but still you could write her out and very little would change. Her being gone for over half the series since then doesn’t help. But the upside to adding her back is now they can actually do stuff with her, and so far I’m happy!
Okay so Sister’s so far only expressed wanting to bang historical figures and I kind of hope we can see her do more than make sex jokes. But hey, we can officially confirm her bi now so yay canon bisexual character! Plus the way her and Tucker’s banter was written was very well done. It was really funny and her proving to be far more ambitious with her sex life and finding Tucker not worth remembering was hilarious. Plus her just not giving a shit about Tucker’s advances are both hilarious and make me very happy. Sorry Tucker, but hey at least our probably the only guy who an claim to have had sex with an entire planet... and still paying the lawsuit for it XD
Sarge and Simmons: It was hilarious, Plain and simple. It’s been a pretty good while since these two had one-on-one time and so far I’m pleased with what we have. Simmons wanting to study the gun and have some kind of explanation he can cling to when nothing else is making any kind of logical sense is perfectly IC. I’m also glad to see him actually disagreeing with Sarge and trying to get his own point across. Simmons has mostly grown out of the kissass phase, at least to the extent he was in Blood Gulch, and I’m glad to see that sticking. He feels a lot more independent but is still the nerd we all know and love. Character development, yay!
Then we have the Battle of Broken Ridge and all the continuity stuff it brings up. If I had to guess, it takes place early in Sarge’s military career before he became an ODST or this was before he got put into Blood Gulch. Considering we don’t completely know how these outposts operate aside form how they use the SIM Troopers, I don’t find it hard to buy that Sarge has been on multiple Red Teams before getting recruited for Blood Gulch. But these guys have brown armor so... IDK. But still, it’s good to see some backstory and it was good to see Sarge try to save his men. Sure it looks like he failed, but hey he tried.
Still, it really DOES make me ponder on this whole ‘fixing the past’ thing. Like... what does Donut mean by the past? For the Reds and Blues to fix their own pasts? I’m assuming not since Sarge only inadvertently caused it. Did the villains do something in the past and damage it? Why didn’t Donut just say that though? Or is ‘God’ just using the Reds and Blues to invoke what will fulfill the prophecy mentioned in Episode 1? After all, it’s said they end the world and this may be the catalyst that causes it, hence why Huggins (where is she BTW?) has to follow them around. But I would hope that the puppetmaster would have made a reasonable explanation about what had to be fixed to provoke that. IDK, it’s way too early to tell and this is a multi-part saga, so we’re just gonna have to see how it plays out.
And finally...
Caboose and Lopez: THIS WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR. Caboose being... Caboose, but also showing that he CAN be competent in his own way. Sure he got Donut’s message wrong, but at least he was thinking about it. Plus he was able to both fix Lopez and actually understand what he said. IDK if Caboose can speak Spanish, but I absolute believe that he can just get what Lopez is saying. And unlike everyone else, except maybe Simmons unless they just used shuffle enough times until they got the right portal (which if that isn’t the case, kudos to Simmons for figuring it out on his own), Caboose is the only one who figured out how to make the gun work. So now hes on a Penny Quest as Lopez continues to regret his own existence. I love it!
I admit I wasn’t sure how this was going to work since Caboose and Lopez are the two most incomprehensible characters in the show. Caboose is random and dimwitted, and no one an understand Lopez at all. But it’s surprisingly really funny so far! Normally having characters together alone like this without someone else to keep it balanced can be annoying very quickly. But in this case, it came off as really funny and not exaggerated. I guess it helps that Caboose can understand what Lopez is saying, but still it’s just the right balance. Which is good since I assume that they’re going to be the comedy relief pair for now. But who knows?
Final Thoughts
As I said, this seems to be here to show us how the time travel will play out and I assume the next episode will either cut to Chorus or focus on one pair for the majority of it. We’ll have to see. Still, this was good! The interactions were really good and I really enjoyed seeing it play out. Everyone felt IC and leaves plenty of setup for their respective situations. It leaves the question of what happened to Donut, but I guess we’ll find out eventually. But overall, this was a fun episode that perfectly sets up what we can expect. Hopefully, we’ll be delivered just what we’re hoping for.
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flauntpage · 3 years ago
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Morning Wood: Double Team Pleasure
My eyes hath seen the light, and we are totally fucking for real again!
Oh what a day this is. Sports are back, baby! It’s been five years – FIVE YEARS – since we’ve had anything to give a shit about. I’m not kidding. At no point since 2012 could we seriously claim that our teams were contenders or that we were truly building something great. Now, through all of that misery and waiting and trusting, it’s all coming to fruition. Carson Wentz, on whom the Eagles staked maybe their entire franchise (or at least Howie Roseman’s office location), turned in what was easily his best performance to date, maybe not in terms of sheer stats, but in a purely biblical sense on national TV. Remember when he struggled to throw the deep ball. REMEMBER THAT? The north fucking remembers it:
Carson Wentz's TD to Mack Hollins traveled 62.8 yards of raw distance in the air, the longest of any over the last two seasons #NextGenStats http://pic.twitter.com/BmIgGb2KGI
— Matt Harmon (@MattHarmon_BYB) October 24, 2017
WHAT A BOMB:
I said to my Dad that looked like it went 50 yards in the air. I then tried to do the math from the 30 to the opposing 40, 30, 20, 10… um, how many is that? I can’t do football math over 50 yards. It doesn’t compute. 62.8! That’s like, off the top of my head, 188.4 feet! What a stud. By the way, the touchdown routes on that pass chart look like the visual interpretation of a dressage horse’s dance steps:
Meanwhile, in the former Motor City, the Sixers dismantled the Pistons on the strength of Joel Embiid’s 30 points and Ben Simmons’ triple-double, which seems good:
Ben Simmons just tallied a triple-double in his *4th* game. For reference, LeBron didn’t get his first until January of his second season.
— Tom Haberstroh (@tomhaberstroh) October 24, 2017
Simmons has a double-double in three of his first four games, a triple-double in the other, and is averaging 17, 11 and 7. There is a large eggplant Emoji in my pants.
Embiid is back to being himself, Carson Wentz is DA GOD (actually he might not like that phrasing and I’m sorry, My Chosen One, oh holy shit I gone dunnit again, ah Jesus Christ), and Ben Simmons is on his way to being the greatest player ever, so let’s check in on Markelle Fultz:
To be clear, I didn’t write the title for that video and, well, at least he took one? Yeah, this is a long-term thing with Fultz. Settle in.
Let’s Wood!
  Deuce Gruden
The one game all year when Ed Hochuli is not the most jacked guy on the field. Jon's son, #Redskins strength coach Deuce, takes the title. http://pic.twitter.com/o5mmSmJrnA
— bill hofheimer (@bhofheimer_espn) October 24, 2017
Holy shit Jon Gruden named his kid Deuce.
I saw a few Tweets about Gruden playing favorites last night because his brother is the coach and his son works for the team, but I actually think he does an EXTRAORDINARY job not playing favorites, without being like the Little League coach who is overly hard on his own kid to compensate. Think about it– it’s a tough spot. He calls him “Jay Gruden” for God’s sake. And I thought doing one little segment to acknowledge that they are in fact brothers is the right way to go about it. No issues at all. Love Gruden. He’s great. And his knowledge of Carson Wentz’s college call, followed by the crew having video of it? That’s good production right there.
  It’s unclear if Jordan Hicks was on crutches
It has been confirmed @CrossingBroad @EliotShorrParks http://pic.twitter.com/Zjr9lBOQl9
— Rick Paton (@Rickybob90) October 24, 2017
  Who wore it best?
@CrossingBroad What the fuck. Haha. That thing was authentic too. http://pic.twitter.com/W1WjPUua01
— Joe Buriak (@urbudyjoe) October 24, 2017
http://pic.twitter.com/y9mB21svPP
— Michael Shapiro (@mshapiro3) October 24, 2017
I’m willing to bet the first guy is from Upper Darby. I’m actually really impressed with this. That’s a Nike jersey, but it’s not technically authentic. NFL Shop filters will catch that customization 10 times out of 10 (I’ve told you this before, but I literally used to be the guy to run those filters and oh boy you won’t believe how many ways there are to spell “cunt” if you really try). It pairs so well with the baggy khakis, it’s like a cab sav paired with a dry-aged bone-in ribeye. They were just made for each other. And speaking of bonin’, that guy ain’t doing much of it, and your mom is most certainly not dangling her parts over his… you know what, let’s just take a beat here and appreciate the look.
  Just get on top
Week 8 NFL Power Rankings (via @HarrisonNFL):
1. @Eagles 2. @RamsNFL 3. @steelers 4. @Chiefs 5-32. https://t.co/e8y9nFyy65 http://pic.twitter.com/3Kvr4LElzG
— NFL (@NFL) October 24, 2017
  Wentz
This was his coming out party, make no mistake. He was slinging it like a legitimate Aaron Rodgers out there. Calling his own college plays. Perfect strikes. Purple 65!
@CrossingBroad I’ll take a Purple 65 in a large
— @nealstradamus1 (@nealstradamus1) October 24, 2017
It’s hard not to like everything about Wentz. He’s a great player and a good person. The Dutch Destroyer video is just one example. I’m a cynic when it comes to those things, but that kid and the bracelet 100% mean something to Wentz, and imagine how much that means to his family? Wentz isn’t paying lip service to some publicity thing– he’s doing what’s right. I honestly can’t imagine a better face for a sports team.
  Everyone else
And he’s just one of many on this team. Chris Long. Malcolm Jenkins. The celebrations. Wherever you stand on the anthem thing, there’s no denying the Eagles handled it right. Just everything they do is upbeat, positive and sends a good message regardless of skin color, age, ethnicity or allegiance. So much emotional intelligence it makes me want to punch someone.
  Jason Peters chants
That's brotherhood. We ❤️ #JasonPeters! #FlyEagelsFly #EaglesNation http://pic.twitter.com/mWOPqIjEbQ
— BEX {rebekah} (@bexonair) October 24, 2017
I can’t wait for the inevitable “it’s just a sprain, back after the bye” Tweets that will make this all seem so ridiculous. But, whatever happens, that was a cool moment– if you have to go out in the NFL, let it be in front of your home fans, with them chanting your name:
.@Eagles fans chanting Jason Peters' name as he gets carted off due to injury. #WASvsPHI #FlyEaglesFly http://pic.twitter.com/mOtICVwpc6
— NFL (@NFL) October 24, 2017
  Adorbs
That's Mack Hollins riding his bike to the game, lol. http://pic.twitter.com/wX7GmqIzDY
— Jimmy Kempski (@JimmyKempski) October 23, 2017
  Winning so much we’re tired of winning
Dolphins have released CB Byron Maxwell per source.
— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) October 24, 2017
  Found footing
The Eagles came out looking sluggish and like they hadn’t played in 12 days. It all felt very similar to how they looked after starting 3-0 last year. Could the lull, followed in a week by a bye, do it again to the Eagles? It felt that way for a while. But credit to the Birds for finding their footing, quickly, and picking up right where they left off. This team is for real. Maybe not a true Super Bowl contender, but absolutely for real. They have always felt more legitimate than that 3-0 team last year, which played two dreadful teams to start and then a Steelers squad that wasn’t quite right yet. This team is well-rounded, with a stronger, more cohesive D, a better offense, more experienced quarterback and depth. They’re the real deal.
  Creeptweets
If anyone has any information on this lovely redhead call: 888-729-9494! You can get yourself a fine WIP pen. http://pic.twitter.com/NBYBai7AR3
— Angelo Cataldi (@AngeloCataldi) October 24, 2017
Imagine outing this (married) woman to Angelo and getting… a pen… for your betrayal.
  We have one
get a joel embiid in your life http://pic.twitter.com/9TM6YoyCvx
— Whitney Medworth (@its_whitney) October 24, 2017
  Look familiar?
It's hard not to think of a young LeBron when watching Ben Simmons pass the ball. http://pic.twitter.com/ExuOn6PcIa
— Joe Giglio (@JoeGiglioSports) October 24, 2017
  So this is good
Eagles offensive ranks through Week 7:
Points: 3rd Yards: 3rd Rushing: 2nd 1st downs: 2nd 3rd down %: 1st Point differential: 3rd TOP: 2nd
— Joe Giglio (@JoeGiglioSports) October 24, 2017
Tuna can offense no more.
  Men on Women
This is real….. http://pic.twitter.com/HVYH3FDyxd
— Yashar Ali (@yashar) October 23, 2017
What do you think Sal Pal can add to this event?
Morning Wood: Double Team Pleasure published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv
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