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#the moment hbomb showed up help
theminecraftbee · 4 months
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why hbomb94 should be the next new hermit: no listen this isn't just me being ridiculous listen listen--
okay but like. after today i am ON THIS TRAIN. i am FULLY CONVINCED that hbomb94 would be one of the BEST POSSIBLE CANDIDATES for "new hermit for hermitcraft". and please, just listen to my case for this:
so, after today, i'm fully convinced hbomb is a perfect vibes match for many hermits. he gets along well! he's actually pretty good at staying at hermitcraft levels of pg in videos (like, not swearing--he makes like, the catmaid jokes, but that's nothing worse than whatever ren gets up to on a given day). he's also relatively chill, already friends with a lot of the hermits, and connects well with them on a content creation level. like, he's excited for them, he slots into the bits well, the bits he brings to the table are picked up easily by the other hermits.
and the thing is... okay i KNOW hbomb isn't a huge base builder. i watched vault hunters smp too. but the thing is... he doesn't have to be! you see, there's a certain hermit niche they haven't invited a new hermit into in a while, and that's the niche that someone like joe hills or zedaph (or i'd argue etho or cubfan) occupies. it's the 'weird' niche. i don't think hbomb would be a builder hermit. i don't think he'd be a redstoner either. what he'd be good at is things like... hermits helping hermits! building minigames! have you seen hbomb actually, half of what he did on dsmp or on his main youtube is building minigames and escape rooms. he'd have good vibes! he'd show up to all the events! he'd probably RUN some events!
what he'd be is a new chill, friendly niche hermit, and i think we need more of those? more of the hermits who WON'T be building megabases, but WILL be building games, helping collect resources, and inventing new strange things to do. yes, sure, once again: i know hbomb isn't a builder, and next to someone like joel, that probably puts him out of contention, but... the last two hermits they invited were builders. they need a hype guy. an event guy. another team player. the escape rooms would be ENRICHMENT. it would be wonderful.
plus, i don't think he'd ever stop being a delightful audience insert about the other hermit projects. plus plus, i think he and scar and cub would definitely do a catmaid bit we'd all regret. plus plus plus i think he could do his rant about how weird beetroot is and the hermits would appreciate him for it.
as such i actually think hbomb slots in BEST of the visitors from today as a new hermit. (this is also in part because the empires crew tends to prefer much shorter seasons on their servers than hermitcraft has if they don't want to get bored and the hermits have pretty definitively decided they don't like short seasons. it's also a vibe check. skizz for hermitcraft fans, i am shaking your hand and saluting you, my guy who can't build and your guy who can't build should be hermits who join for similar reasons, we are friends.)
anyway will this actually happen? probably not. but like. listen. for the first time since hbomb hermit adoption arc started this feels VIABLE and i feel the need to make my case for why i want him on because the moment the season rolls over and we start speculating about new hermits this is the guy who has my vote please do you understand now please he'd be so fun--
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alittlebirb · 2 years
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Some funny business from the MCC 22 Aqua Axolotls!
-Scar saying he might dislike PKT more than snakes, and Hbomb correcting him that he's terrified of both
-Hbomb and Scar making fun of Grian for having to make a thumbnail
"What a Youtuber." -Hbomb
-Hbomb wearing a Hawaiian shirt in real life
-Grian asking if Scar was asking Jellie to open the door, and just concernedly replying "Oh dear."
-Grian being very self aware that starting his stream one (1) second early is very very good for him
-An update about Nana from Ghana, with her giving "rich blessings" and asking everyone to come to Ghana, and Grian showing several pictures of the school they helped raise money for!
-The entire team shading Grian for not unmuting until they're like, 10 seconds into the decision dome
-Grian grumbling he does not like BB, and Scar reassuring him "it's okay, Hawkeye's here."
-Everyone interrogating Scar about the state of his technology
-MeltDown is here and I'm terrified.
-Scar yelling at Grian to "Get out of the melty room!!"
-Grian running off from the rest of the team like a child without a leash
"I feel like I've got nothing to lose, so this MCC I'm going crazy." -Grian
-False vanishing through the floor in front of Scar
-Grian and Hbomb being the last survivors in their team and just chilling on a block together
-False telling Scar to use the heater, heater Scar, you're right there-!, in MD
-False figuring out to use the heaters as an extra block to climb up like a freaking genius
-"Okay, I'm starting to understand this game now that we're on the last round!" -Grian
-Scar being the resident bow connoisseur
-Grian being an absolute feral little freak and going after Green immediately
-Grian screaming "Scar noooo!" as he fell down into the lava and Scar calling him a "sweet angel"
-Grian calling surviving and getting coins "the barn strategy" and Scar correcting him that it's "the right strategy"
-Scar saying MD is more fun is SOT and everyone telling him to slow down now, you might upset someone who's listening
-Scar saying he can't "intimidate the other team with his abs"
-Scar concluding that watching Top Gun improves your performance and Grian replying that "yeaaaah, he totally watched it last night"
-Hbomb telling Grian that a pro tip for Minecraft is turning off bobbing completely, and Grian saying he likes the bobbing though!
"My immersion!" -Grian
-Grian somehow ending up saying "there's gotta be someone out there who likes that" in response to vomit. "Someone who's like, 'nice'."
And everyone just letting that. sit. in the air.
"I didn't know how to respond to that." -Hbomb
-Scar asking if they can talk about Star Wars to boost his confidence in PKT
-Grian saying the H in Hbomb stands for Hermit
"I revealed today that the name Hbomb94 for the last 16 years was a long con to join Hermitcraft, and you guys can't turn me away because now I own Hermitcraft." -Hbomb
-Grian mentioning that the other day he said "y'all" and getting the immediate response of that being incredibly cursed and to never do that again
-Grian calling out to repeatedly rotate and False crying out "what does rotate even mean??"
-Scar telling Hbomb he'll be his bodyguard against Cub
-Hbomb saying it's "the moment of my life!" when he caught Dream in 10 seconds
-Scar saying Tommy's "a bit of wizard, leaping and swooping like that"
-Scar saying he's "lasted two seconds longer this time" and Hbomb telling him "baby steps"
-Scar falling and dying directly after he jubilantly yelled "PARKOUR CHAMPIONS!"
-"Normally I'm holding Pete's legs together, and keeping him back, but now he's been set free." -Grian about Pete's team being in first place
-Hbomb dunking Pink because "screw Pink!"
-Grian voting for RSR and Scar telling him that's good "Top Gun energy"
-Scar admiring Quig's birthday hat and Hbomb saying "the NoxCrew is too nice to him, we need to take him down a peg. We need to beat him up."
-False and Hbomb talking about becoming dolphins 🐬
-False calling Scar out for just standing there when the RSR round started, and Scar replying he was "working out my issues!"
-Grian and Scar getting into top 10 in RSR and Scar saying "this is what we do in Hermitcraft."
-Hbomb saying he punched Tubbo in the face and he deserved it
-Grian saying he has a "mind like a goldfish".
-Hbomb taking the floor out from False and causing her to die, and then falling afterwards and False yelling "Karma!"
-Scar calling Big Beans an S Tier
-Scar saying he hopes Pete wins, and everyone immediately going no! he's had enough wins already!
-Grian asking Scar how many wins he's had, and Scar saying "multiple in my dreams".
"My mom tells me I'm a winner every day!" -Scar
"It must be true!" -False
-Scar calling out to the Mega Chicken that the HITW section is KFC
"They'll cut you up and turn you into chicken nuggets! Save yourself!"
-Hbomb lamenting that he hasn't been opening Pokemon cards, and Grian immediately asking what set? what set?
"I've had to stop opening cards. I don't know what to do with all my spare ones." -Grian
"Keep them for your happiness." -Hbomb
-"Nooo, goodbye gentlemen!" -Scar while falling in HITW
-"Oh, 32nd, that makes me upset to my chest hair." -Grian
-Scar thanking Shubble for dying because now he won't be last
-Hbomb seeing the exclamation mark wall and saying "it's yelling at me!"
-If I had a nickel for each time Hbomb got a coin balance involving 69, and Grian replied "nice", I'd have two nickels, which is just a little bit cursed
-"It upsets me that Timmy is doing well. He lost our team SOT last time and I am haven't forgiven him." -Grian
-"I'm completely fine. I haven't been failing at all." -False
-False predicting Scar's Curse will ensure that one player will always be in 40th, and this time it's her turn
"I know how to fix this. I'm putting my Genshin outfit on." -False, who does not play Genshin, and only has this outfit because her team lost a tournament
-Hbomb asking if False is drinking water or wine today, and False replying she's drinking squash (juice)
"Yes, I'm a little kid." -False
-Scar seeing the error of his ways and finally pronouncing gong correctly
-Scar getting on the Ace Race leaderboard on the practice server, which then sparked his leaderboard obsession
-"I could never hate you." -Grian to Hbomb
"I could change that." -Hbomb
-Grian seeing the Space Race map name being written backwards and delightedly saying "I like! That's my kind of humor."
-"I had some really good moments mixed in with catastrophic mistakes." -Grian
-Everyone celebrating NOT LAST SCAR in Ace Race
-False realizing that "wait, didn't Scar get a really good time on the practice server?" and everyone immediately saying don't shame him, don't rub it in...
-"Grian, I need a gong." -Scar
"I put it away already!" -Grian
"I need. a gong." -Scar
-The mega chicken swap being gloriously chaotic
-"Hold down W! Just go! Always forward! Kick ass! Take names!" -Hbomb's advice for BB and life
-Hbomb asking Scar to activate Hawkeye mode and Scar replying "YES".
"He's been waiting for you to say that his entire life." -Grian
-Scar calling Hbomb "HBeam" and Griab immediately decreeing that nickname is going to stay (man loves his nicknames)
-Grian killing a couple players in BB and screaming "FINALLY I HAVE SOMETHING FOR MY SECOND CHANNEL!"
-Aqua and Purple fighting it out and False just sneaking in, filling the wool, and getting the win
-The team using Grian's run straight in approach for good and succeeding in the strat to send him in and then have Scar sneakily wool rush
-Grian and Scar celebrating the wins while False desires more kills
-"I think we might have made the other teams angry, which is a good thing. Psychological warfare." -Scar
-Everyone recognizing that Jojo is crACkEd
-"My whole goal here is to make you proud, H." -Scar about SOT
-"Can I ask something real quick? Why's the chat calling me Sand Daddy?" -Sand Daddy Scar
-Scar giving regular reports that "This is your local Sand Daddy reporting, we have 60 seconds left!"
-"There's a pillager in the water!" -False
"Oh, that's my buddy, we're just chilling." -Scar
-"Scar are you ready to take this sand delivery?" -Grian
"Oh, I'm ready, take it to Daddy...sorry I made that weird." -Scar
-Grian getting the redstone puzzle first try!
-"I'm always upset. That's my secret." -Hbomb
-Hbomb trying to stay inside the red tunnel and Grian going down the blue tunnel then Scar saying they only have 50 seconds left and Grian just found the blue vault and H and Grian racing back with sand while the timer went down to 10 seconds and the 10 second count down booming throughout the labyrinth but Grian got lost. H gets the sand in just in time but it's still counting down. Grian finally escapes the tunnel and gets the sand in with less than 10 seconds left and I'm left dead on the floor
-"I got 31st! Sorry, I have a thing about the number 31 this MCC, apparently." -False
-"What the audience needs to know is that we're all friends, we're all good, but in Sands of Time it all goes out of the window." -Grian
-"My chat was getting very upset at me because I took off my chestplate in order to show off my abs." -Scar, preceding the rest of the team absolutely losing their minds at him
-The mega chicken swap wrecking chaos in the last round, the players splitting into either BM or TGGTOS, Wilbur being indecisive in choosing and Scar trying to tempt him into BM with his abs
-"You'll always be our Build Mart manager." -Scar to Grian o7
-Tubbo throwing Scar off the map and everyone calling him evil
"Can we box him in and crush him on this map?" -Scar
-Everyone rooting for Tina in the honey map
-"For a brief shining moment I was first. Then a door closed in front of me, and I was like aww." -Scar
-"I need Fruity B." -Grian
-Scar admiring the little crown on the plane in the TGTTOS map
-Everyone understanding that yes, every single player will be cheering on Captain Sparklez. Pink needs to win.
-"I almost called them Pink Flamingos. I thought they had a really long neck for a second." -False
-False and Grian tsking at H for rooting for Red
"You don't need to be different!" -Grian
-"Right in the shnoot!" -Grian after Dream was shot
-Grian and Scar yelling at Pink to say "Hot guy!" when they shoot
-"Oh, it is Captain on Captain violence!" -Hbomb
-Hbomb starts opening up Pokemon cards and Grian starts eating his yogurt
"What should I do?" -False
"What do you have on your desk?" -Hbomb
-Grian sending Hbomb a Very Cool Card over Discord because H is the only one who'd understand
-H commentating on the normalization of streamers eating in stream
-Grian and Hbomb editing the script to include Captain Sparklez getting the final shot in the final round and getting the ultimate win
-Martyn is now the MCC player who's gone the longest without getting a single win
-"Everyone will remember where they were the day that Captain got his first win!" -Hbomb
-"Aww, bless his little cotton socks!" -Grian about Captain Sparklez
-Sparklez getting a lil Jerry next to him on the podium and Scar saying now he has to win, so he can get a little Jellie neighboring with Jerry
-"You know when you were watching Dream's POV and you were telling me not to do any of that? I was nodding, and I was like yeah I'm gonna do that." -Grian to Hbomb
"I'm gonna be honest, when you went into the blue vault, I thought you were dead." -Hbomb
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chaifootsteps · 3 months
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just me, or are a lot of HB vids kind of low effort and content-mill-ish? they tend to be on the shorter side and some are just straight up reacting to controversies, often in a kind of reductive or dismissive way
the best I've found on the critical side are Diregentlemen & ArteiceTB, though even they tend to be more bite-sized. I understand how that fits into a business model of making stuff often, but man, I'm so itching for a long form vid that just covers all of it the way other creators have on other topics.
I kind of get why the popular choice is Hbomb, too - he's excellent at putting the whole story together so would be a good choice for putting Viv's lack of crediting and bad behavior together into a full picture rather than just a fragmentary one and his media analysis stuff is great, too
there's a bit in his RWBY vid where he talks about how Jaune's arc to learn to ask for help is pretty essentially lifted from Sokka in ATLA, but he points out Jaune never really tries all that hard in class so his 'I have to do it alone or it doesn't count!' attitude makes no sense. And there's 'this makes no sense, the show contradicts itself' moments so often in HB now that he could easily rip the whole thing to shreds if he wanted
It's not just you. A lot of them are just throwing it out there so they can cash in on the engagement they know they'll get from Viv's fanbase, and it shows.
If there's one thing that twitter thread that took off made me realize it's that you can't present what Vivzie's done to people in little bits and pieces or else they'll rationalize it away. Got to throw it at them all at once, one big long three hour video, for it to sink in.
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hopalongfairywren · 1 year
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Whumptober 2022- Nothing Left To Lose
Captain Puffy rarely looked so angry as she did right now, glaring up at Badboyhalo’s face. The taller man looked down upon her with a hungry gleam in his eyes, and a crooked smile. Her eyes burnt with the rage of a true warrior, and despite her still healing wound from the Eggpire’s attack on her, she stood up, glaring daggers at Bad.
“Stop it, stop it right now, Bad, Ant. I’m warning you. This is your last chance before I do something I'll regret.” She took a step towards the demon, defiance in her eyes. But as anyone could see, she was clearly outmatched against the armed members of the Eggpire.
“If you think I'll just let you put my son up there, you’re wrong. You’re all selfish, look at you! Attempting to sacrifice someone so the Egg will grant you your wishes or something? That’s selfish.” She snarled, ignoring how close Ponk was to her. 
The other three, Bad, Ant, and Hannah, still surrounded Foolish, their crimson eyes glittering with malice while Ponk kept the others further behind Puffy, who was stuck in the divide between smoothed polished stone floor, and the jagged rocky ground with only a rickety bridge connecting the two sides. 
The Eggpire had her son captured, not before he had flung Eret over the crack in the ground in the fleeting seconds when the narrowest part of the gap was not being guarded by Ponk, and had not yet widened, filling the air above it with heat as the lava moat underneath was exposed to the world.
Said King was still on the ground, his eyes wide with shock as Niki tried to rush over away from the safety of their little corner and Fundy wailed. 
Bad looked unfazed, but Antfrost hissed, his claws unsheathing. “If anyone is selfish it’s you.” His red eyes glowed in the flames, and he really did look like a cat who had found some very, very juicy prey.
“Look at you, Puffy. You left the Eggpire.” Despite his cold expression, Antfrost’s voice did sound bitter. Hurt. 
“You tried protecting everyone and now look where everyone is. Look behind you.” The tom gestured behind her, to the trio of Fundy, Niki and Hbomb. Fundy was trembling as he huddled with his sister, both of their scared faces glowing eerily in the crimson light. Hbomb stood protectively over them, shooting Hannah a glare as she stalked closer to them, twirling the sword in her hand.
Puffy flinched. “I’m just one person!” She protested. 
She was just one person when she chased them out of Tommy’s house, still grieving the loss of the boy she thought she could protect.
She was just one person when Bad and Ant made their true colors show, throwing Sam into the Egg, and chasing her out of the Badlands.
She was just one person Antfrost attacked her, slashing her stomach and leaving her to bleed out, not even sticking around to see if she’d sneak off and drag herself towards the main path, happening to come across Tommy Tubbo and Ranboo who saved her life then.
She was just one person when she helped Sam care for Hannah, even when she had her own doubts about the fairy, right up until the very moment she had revealed her true allegiances with the Egg, betraying and dooming them all.
The fairy stares at them with a stone cold look on her face, having completely ignored Sam’s quiet mumble of disbelief as he made his way towards George. He sounded so disappointed, his eyes welling with sadness.
Behind Puffy, George shook in terror, his already pale complexion going ghostly-white, his legs shaking. Sam stood beside him, glaring at the Eggpire as his resolve hardened, and Puffy’s heart pounded. The two exchanged eye contact. 
Puffy knew Sam had another plan, but she had her doubts. According to Quackity, the Egg survived TNT before, 
Then, collecting herself, she stepped up to the demon, throwing a distraught look over her shoulder at the trio.
“Kill me, let them out. They never did anything to you or your Egg.” She snapped, desperation and anger causing her voice to crack. Bad grinned, snickering.
“You don’t get it, do you?” He scoffed, his amused face twisting into one of contempt.
“Then again, you never did.” He spat, his lip curling. “You’re a sheep, Puffy. You should have just followed your shepard, but instead you decided to be bad, and look where you ended up.” Bad’s words were laced with venom, and despite everything, Puffy looked genuinely hurt by his words, her rectangular pupils dilating in shock.
“I did what I had to do. I tried.” She said, her voice smaller.
“We’re going to kill you all off now,” Bad said, returning to his usual chipper self, “One. By. One” He punctuated each word with a tap of his stolen diamond sword on the ground.
Foolish smiled at her gently, turning his head as best he could while Antfrost held him down. Foolish looked resigned to his incoming fate, a weary look on his face. “Puffy, it’s okay.” He said softly.
Puffy’s ears went flat against her head. “It’s not alright!” She protested.
“It’s-” Foolish’s words were cut off by a grunt of pain as Antfrost swiped a paw across his cheek. Foolish flinched, trying to roll away. Before he could, Antfrost raked his claws down the side of Foolish’s exposed neck, pinning his thrashing body with the other paw.
“What? NO!” Puffy screamed out, shaking.
“Foolish!” Niki cried out, barely holding onto a terrified Fundy.
Eret stared in horrified silence.
a horrible wet gurgling noise, followed then a soft thump as Foolish’s body slumped to the ground echoed throughout the room now stunned into silence. The light in Foolish's emerald-green eyes dimmed quickly. His body jerked as blood began to pour out of the large gap in his throat. More blood trickled out of his nose and mouth as his bright green eyes dulled.
Smearing a blood-soaked paw on top of Foolish’s sliced cheek, Antfrost smirked, looking at her with a taunting expression.
“STOP! Stop right there Bad, stop it right now.” The smirking demon audibly gasped as Quackity appeared out of one of the cave’s gaps and jumped down to the ground gracefully, strolling towards the Eggpire’s startled members with a wide grin on his face. The smile masked a darker fury. Regardless, the man sauntered towards Bad, throwing his hands up in mock alarm as he surveyed the huddled crowd of attendees, and Foolish’s crumpled body, a pool of ichor blood seeping from the cut in his throat.
Puffy stared at him, desperation in her eyes, her face wet with tears.
Quackity winks at her before finishing his speech. But Puffy can only focus on Antfrost and his bloody claws. And how those claws will sink into another person she loves soon. Unless she does something.
So when chaos breaks out, and Quackity tosses her an ax, Puffy doesn’t even think twice before lunging over the divide, not even flinching as the lower half of her body went dangerously close to touching the lava. She hauled herself up, and without another second, launched herself at Antfrost.
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korenlesthe · 8 months
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Final Fantasy VII Remake is garbage
And here's why (7:57:47) Totally not inspired by Hbomberguy Note : this is a repost of my twitter post with a few fixes here and there.
Chapter 1: The Overdrive-Nomurism Cosmo Nevismitical.
Like every European who didn't bought games from Japan or the US, FF 7 was my very first step in the FF franchise. It is a very important game for me, a game that my best friend allowed me to play because he lent me his PS1 with most of his games.
First things first : I have 0 problems with the "timeline cross" thing, despite it being a very Nomura thing. I actually like it. I also like the visuals and the much improved writing of the characters (in most situations, sadly this too isn't great for reasons I'll tackle later).
FF 7 R is sadly a victim of what I call the Overdrive-Nomurism Cosmo Nevismitical. Or in human language, a "Tetsuya Nomura thing". Why is that, you ask ? Because he always, ALWAYS have to add overly complex terms, UI elements or game designs that goes off the rails. Oh you want to upgrade your weapon ? Open the menu, open the upgrade menu, open the character menu, open the weapon menu, then watch an unskippable cutscene -EVERY SINGLE TIME- to get to a useless 3D scene just to choose upgrades. And that's not all.
if you choose the wrong weapon by mistake, when you get out of the menu, there's another (short) unskippable animation. Then when you choose the right weapon, the animation shows up again because maybe you didn't saw it correctly the first time ! Then you want to upgrade your teammates weapons too ? You have to exit this menu (animation), exit your character weapon menu, go to your teammate weapon menu, open one of their weapon (animation), then you want to do it for their other weapon ? Guess what ? You watch this, every, single, time, for, every, single, weapon.
This is a "Nomurism" to me. Remember the Crystarium from FF XIII ? All this beautiful animations and crystals just for... an incredibly linear upgrade system you have 0 control in and 0 choices other than the one imposed to you. You can't upgrade how you want, follow the stupid line and look at the pretty colors !
It's the equivalent of the moving keys in front of childrens. The Bubsy 3D of UI design. I hear you tell me that UI design isn't Nomura, but he is the game director. He said yes to this (off course he did). Then the other Nomurism is the characters. While I'm ok with most of the main cast, we have to talk about Suchar. I mean Rochey Suchar. I mean Roch. Oh boi.
Side Quest In the french version, Roch is named "Rochey" (and yes, you pronounce it in Rochay), because Roch sounds like "Roche", a roc in french. Just like Torgal in FF 16 is renamed Talghor in the french version, but off course the subtitles keep his name "Torgal" because while they renamed him because of the french comic book "Thorgal", they couldn't be bothered to not butcher the subtitles. I guess it's forbidden to use "Thorgal" in french but it's ok in Japanese and English ? Side quest done, 100 Gils (it's a FF 16 side quest, so off course the rewards sucks)
Rochey (yes, I'll keep the french name, deal with it) is when FF 7 Remake jumped the shark, killed it, vomitted in every orifice of the poor beast, and then took a dump on his poor corpse. This is the moment Cloud shows that he can jump from a bike going full speed, then attack in midair while not losing his speed or air control, go back to his bike with 0 efforts. It's also the moment where Rochey do a 1080° with his bike for no reason aside for Tetsuya Nomura to make another Nomurism. I bet gravity murdered Nomura's family in the past.
I've stated at the start that this post was inspired by the Hbomberguy video essays "This X is Y and here's why" because I love his work and it helps me a lot with my writing (still needs to improve). I know that FF 7 Remake isn't an Immersive Sim game but in Hbomb's Deus Ex Human Revolution video, Warren Spector says "NPCs don't do the cool stuff, players do. You make the player do the cool stuff, NPCs watch the players doing it". It resonate with me everytime I see a character doing impossible things in a cutscene then being stuck in front of a wooden door when the player is given control back.
Chapter 2 : A game design 20 years late
Because of all the horrendous slow movement the player is forced to make in the entirety of the game while in every cutscenes possible, Cloud can jump 10 meters (I'm french), destroy a tank with his hair and fart missiles, but OFF COURSE, a fucking fence thinier than Nomura's braincells is what stops him everytime ! "Oh no, we must find another way, I surely can't slash this fence with the sword from Berserk. I have to find another way. Oh no, a 1 meter gap ! Surely I have to walk slowly over it, I can't jump at all ! What ?! The ground is made of wodden planks ?! QUICK, let's WALK VERY SLOWLY for no reason !
Oh no ! A pile of debris ! I can't jump over it despite the clearly visible space I could just jump over, I have to get on my knees and walk as SLOWLY as possible. To the "It's for loading purposes" crowd, yeah most of the time it is, but sometimes it's just one slow walk after the other ! Like, com'on, I know the visuals are pretty good but until the Shinra Tower, every place is pretty much a hallway with one straight line with a variation you will be forced to take at one point so it's not really "exploration", but just an alternative path you'll be forced to take later. The pacing is all over the place. Speaking of...
Chapter 3 : Pacing : you're doing. It wrong.
Remember how OG FF 7 MIdgar's segment was between 5 to 8 hours depending on how players tackled it ? Since the remake takes entirely place in Midgar, they had to stretch it. And oh boi, the streching is all over the place. The game even makes a FF XIII-ism by telling you that "Yeah, you should totally do the ALL the side quests because that will reward you and you'll gain XP and stuff ! Do it please !". Like, it's not even hiding how badly paced it is.
Doing all the sidequests in Wall Market is horrendous and forced ! It's not "SIDE QUESTS" when you are forced to do it ! A forced multi-part arena, interminable dialogue between the multiple useless "leads" of Wall Market, and having to move from A to B to A all the flippin' time while mostly walking very slow to listen to Aerith or just move in one of the most badly designed town ever saw in a modern Action RPG.
The way back to Sector 7 after Don Corneo is even worse. Every single segments of the game just goes to a stop everytime. OH DAMN MAYBE THE PILLAR IS IN DANGER but oh look ! Ghosts ! Let's have fun with them, the pillar isn't a big deal after all !
Part 2 coming soon after for readability sake.
EDIT : Here's part 2 !
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bastardbvby · 3 years
Video
foolish: yeah yeah we all know you’re a whore okay
hbomb: yeah you like your slutty little friend? yeah?
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Dream SMP Recap (March 9/2021) - Roses and Blood Vines
One day remains before Ponk’s attack. Ponk gives Foolish another warning, another chance to join the Egg. Foolish still says no.
Hannah returns from a five-day journey feeling sickened by something. The Blood Vines have crept onto her house... 
Something has to be done.
---
VOD LINKS:
Ponk
Tubbo
Foolish
Ranboo
Hannah
Karl
Eret
Captain Puffy
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- Ponk makes his way through the Nether to the Temple of Undying. He surveys the place, wondering what to blow up first.
- He scouts through the chests, taking some diamonds here and there.
- Ponk places a few pieces of TNT in Foolish’s snake statue as a warning and heads back.
- Foolish joins the call, Ponk now at the Oogway Shrine.
Ponk: “Foolish...you know that time is ticking, right?”
Ponk: “Are you familiar with the hourglass parable?”
Foolish: “No, I am not.”
Ponk: “Me neither, but an hourglass has lots of sand in it, right?”
- Ponk starts talking through the Egg
“Hello, Foolish...the time is ticking...blood, fire and explosions will happen. You’re going to die, Foolish, if you don’t join me. DEATH.”
Foolish: “You speak of my summer home?”
“Your summer home will be no more.”
Foolish: “We’ll see about that.”
“Tick-tock goes the clock.”
- Ponk abruptly switches back to his normal voice and starts talking to Foolish about that scene in Kung Fu Panda where Oogway paralyzes the leopard guy  by poking him, and the leopard guy broke out of prison to defeat the five people
- Foolish asks if there’s a meaning to this. Ponk tells him he stole all of his music discs and put TNT in their place.
- Ponk says to be careful about the tripwires he put. Foolish says that with his emerald eyes, he will see through them.
- They go back and forth about preparations and Ponk’s plan. Ponk tries to convince Foolish that actually, he already blew it up (he didn’t)
Ponk: “Look, Foolish...I’m here to offer you another chance, okay? You can join the Egg, be a happy family, y’know? You can be a god, but you have to serve the Egg...”
Foolish: “You see, Ponk, I think the Egg will lead to heartbreak. Misery. Regret. And then death.”
Ponk: “Remember, Foolish, remember...you can never save a life. You can always prolong it.”
Foolish: “I might disagree with that...but that’s for another time.”
- They get distracted by Skeppy’s prank on the mansion
- Ponk goes to an Ender Chest and shows Foolish its contents. Foolish is outraged that Ponk actually took all his discs -- even Pigstep!
- Ponk shows Foolish the Wall of Pog Women
- The subject goes back to the Egg. Ponk asks again if he wants to join the Egg. Foolish says no.
Foolish: “I don’t think the Egg is good for anyone, and you know? The Egg may not even need you guys! The moment the Egg has enough power, it’ll toss you all aside like the little ants you are.”
- They start talking about cats
- Ponk meets Foolish down at the spider spawner and attempts his Technoblade-killing tactic on him.
- Ponk continues to prepare
- Foolish is still working on Tubbo and Ranboo’s mansion
- He goes to see Michelle in Snowchester. He ponders how strange their family is. A sheep pirate, a totem-part-shark and his totem son, an undead zombie piglin baby, the other brother -- a green blob?
“Nice meeting you, Michelle...um, yeah. Hopefully you never meet Dream.”
“...Just your average Minecraft family...”
(More “Schrödinger’s canon” family dynamics for now, but this is the moment the Wiki is referencing if you were wondering)
- Foolish continues work on the mansion
- Hannah heads back to the main Dream SMP area
- She’s been trying to make the server more beautiful, adding trees, flowers, natural things. But she was off picking flowers for the main pathway when she woke up with extreme nausea. She could barely walk.
- It’s finally time. Something is pulling her back.
Hannah: “It’s definitely time to bring spring to the server. This server is so, so messed up. There’s not enough trees, there’s not enough flowers, there’s not enough anything, especially in the main area."
- The only thing keeping her strong -- alive -- are the rose flowers. It took her two days to find the strength to walk back.
- Hannah starts planting flowers everywhere. The pathway is deteriorated, there are no trees, no flowers, not enough natural fauna that weren’t planted by the people. Her flowers have been picked and turned to dye by people. She needs more flowers to stay strong.
- She sees her house has been covered in Blood Vines. She suspects the Blood Vines have been eating up some of her rose flowers. All of it has to go. She doesn’t know who or what this is, but she believes it’s trying to kill her.
- Sam (and Tubbo disguised as Ranboo) arrive, and Hannah speaks with Sam about her house. Sam was coming to clean up the bank site.
- Sam helps Hannah start to clear off the Vines.
- A cow gets in the way. Hannah says it must be contaminated and kills it.
- All of a sudden, Sam shouts to not break anymore. Hannah looks and Bad and Antfrost have arrived.
- Bad says he thought Hannah was a supporter of plants. They don’t see why Hannah needs to clear the Vines away. Hannah and Sam insist they’re just trimming, doing some landscaping because Hannah is allergic.
- Bad and Ant suggest testing? They can take Hannah to a place with a large concentration of Vines and see if they have any effect. 
- Hannah says she’s willing to try. Sam tells Hannah he can’t go down there again. They tell Bad and Ant -- Hannah will try it while Sam takes a trip to the Nether. Sam whispers to Hannah that while they’re gone, Sam is going to clear the rest of the Vines in secret.
- Bad and Antfrost admire the Vines in Hannah’s house. Even the dogs seem to like it. Hannah promptly kills the dogs to put them out of their misery.
- Bad and Antfrost take Hannah down to the Egg Room. Hannah puts down a rose to help, but they destroy it. They tell her that the Egg likes her.
- They make her a “seat” (box) of black concrete and say she should stay there for “exposure therapy.”  They convince her to put her items in an Ender Chest even as she’s having doubts, and leave her alone there. 
- Hannah thought she had no enemies on this server, but she may have made a mistake.
- Karl wakes up in his library. He hangs up the poster for “The Haunted Mansion” and writes the Tale down.
- He writes his next diary entry. He feels confused. He doesn’t know who to trust anymore. At least the Inbetween seems like a genuinely peaceful place, but there were those books warning him about it.
- He decides he needs to get into that portal the next time he visits the Inbetween.
- His memory is getting worse. He needs to tell his friends the stories, but worries he won’t have any at this rate.
- Bad and Sapnap arrive to Kinoko. Karl wants to get new members.
- Sapnap kills Bad, sending him back.
Bad: “What have I told you about playing with fire there, son?”
- Karl plans to spread out advertisements about Kinoko.
- Foolish and HBomb arrive.
- They go to the Holy Land to put up posters.
- George arrives and they all decide to put up a massive poster in front of the prison, where the mining fatigue will make the blocks harder to get rid of. Bad protests this as a prison guard.
- They do it anyway
---
Upcoming events remain the same.
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Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (10)
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(technoblade x fem!reader)
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(a/n: y’all seemed to like chapter 9 so here’s chapter 10! I know, I know. still no technoblade! BUT! he WILL be arriving soon~ very soon. >:3c but for now just enjoy the rest of the utter nonsense that’s the election. and remember! reblogs and comments REALLY make writing the next chapter possible. if y’all lose interest then so will I. so reblog and comment y’all! <3)
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There was an eerie silence hanging over everyone in attendance. Nobody quite knew what to say, or even how to react to this startling new information. Not a soul spoke as a few people on stage and in the audience shared confused glances, not even whispering their questions to each other lest they shatter the heavy stillness. At least that was the case before HBomb hopped up out of his chair and gave a loud and cheerful “WHOO! NEW PRESIDENT!” that successfully slam dunked everyone back into the moment at hand. 
Suddenly you were surrounded by noise as everyone started talking at once. 
Meanwhile you remained mostly unaware of it, well more like distantly aware of it.
You stared up at the stage, locked in place from how floored you still were.
What in the absolute hell was Wilbur talking about?? 
You can’t have won! Because you weren’t running! 
So there’s no way for you to WIN something you were never actively competing for! 
There had to be a mistake. Maybe this was just some more of their silly pranks and japes before they read off the real winner, which actually wasn’t that huge of a stretch for this SMP if you were being honest. Or at least that’s what you were telling yourself anyways. Vaguely you could hear voices talking all around you, but it seemed far away, so you weren’t really registering what was being said. You were mostly just staring blankly at the stage, not really seeing any of the people up there as you tried to process what just happened.
It took Tubbo grabbing your elbow and shaking it to snap you out of the almost trance like state you'd slipped into. You looked down and he actually looked excited, but you could also see shock in his expression as well. You looked behind you to the rest of the crowd and some were clapping and cheering while others stood silent, shocked like you if you had to hazard a guess. You looked back up at the stage when you heard Tommy calling you to come up with them. You were still sorta frozen but thankfully Tubbo nudged you forward, reminding you that you needed to move. Silently you made your way up to the podium, mouth feeling dry and stomach feeling like it was full of stones.
Now that you were zoned back in you could hear the arguing coming from the podium. You were sort of dreading coming face to face with Wilbur, already knowing how… not great he took Schlatt winning from the original timeline. And he apparently knew and was friends with the ram hybrid. So you couldn’t see him being happy you won.. But when you got to the stage where the others were you couldn’t focus on Wilbur because all at once your vision was overtaken by Tommy, who was babbling about how you won! And how the hell did you win?? You weren’t even running! And how he’s pretty down they lost but at least Quackity and George didn’t win! (that got a ‘fuck you!’ out of the Spanish speaking young man) You gave a weak chuckle and said you’re not sure how or why you won but it was crazy indeed. 
Quackity, Schlatt, and George were the most vocal about not thinking the results were fair. Though to be clear, Wilbur didn’t look thrilled either, but he was doing his best to look professional or put together you guessed. Or at least not blow up in front of literally everyone. You kept an eye on him while Tommy led you up to the mic and told you to give your first decree as president. But you sorta… didn’t want to be president. You hoped you wouldn’t upset anyone by not accepting the job. But you didn’t think you’d make a good leader. So you turned away from the mic, hoping nobody but the ones beside you on stage would hear when you asked if you had to accept the role. 
This caught all the mens’ attention and Wilbur was quick to give you an out, saying no you didn’t technically HAVE to accept the presidency. In fact if you weren’t ready or willing to fill the role then the runners up, aka him and Tommy, would happily do so for you. But then Quackity, Schlatt, and surprisingly Fundy said that wasn’t fair either since both Pog2020 and Schlatt/Swag2020 were tied with the amount of votes. And you had to admit, that didn’t seem fair. But Wilbur perked up and you’d swear in that moment he was the embodiment of the ‘lightbulb above head’ phrase. Then he grinned and turned to Fundy and Niki and asked to speak to them before urging them and Tommy off the stage, leaving you and Schlatt/Swag2020 on the stage alone.
Not wanting to leave everyone in the audience hanging, you gave a polite smile and assured them that the others just wanted to…. recount the votes! They weren’t sure Wilbur counted them right so they figured recounting with some other witnesses there would clear things up! The crowd shared confused glances but it was Tubbo who yelled out that that sounded sus as hell! And if he were you he’d think they were trying to cheat or something! You snorted a laugh but assured him it was alright and you didn’t think they’d be that ballsy~
-0-
Fundy and Niki followed behind Wilbur and Tommy, the latter of the two males just as confused about what Wilbur was up to as the pair behind him. But then they all gathered in the white house and Wilbur turned to the members of Coconut2020 and said he had a proposition for them! The brunet said that since it was clear that you weren’t really up to being president, his tone derisive like your refusal of the position was tantamount to spitting in his food, then if Fundy and Niki agreed to combine their votes with Swag2020 then Wilbur could be president again and things could go back to normal!
But the blonde woman and fox hybrid didn’t look convinced.. Niki said they’d just be giving them their votes so they could win, while they got nothing? Fundy frowned and asked what positions he and Niki would have in the Pog2020 cabinet if they joined their votes with theirs. Here is where Wilbur hesitated, unsure what positions he could give them. But then he smiled and said Niki would be the First Woman, since she was the first woman to join L’manberg! And Fundy would of course be everyone’s Little Champion! He couldn’t help but baby talk his son, he’d never been able to take Fundy seriously, not really anyways. What with his alert little triangle ears, furry face, soft little paw beans, and fluffy tail. He was just too cute for Wilbur to take him seriously. Even now. But it was this attitude that would be his downfall. Because it’s what caused Fundy to snap.
“No, Wilbur! This is serious! I’m not some baby for you to dress up and prance around! I’m a fucking adult! I have my own house, I pay taxes, I fought in a war for fucks sake!” the hybrid shouted, clearly upset.
Wilbur was shocked but tried to calm Fundy down, not fully realizing how mad his son was until the red haired male practically snarled, 
“I’m not going to sit here and hand over the votes Niki and I earned just so you can treat me like a child!”
Without another word he turned on his heel and stormed out of the white house, leaving three stunned people behind. Tommy looked up at Wilbur, opening and closing his mouth, wanting so badly to say something, maybe lighten the awkward mood but not knowing what or even if he should speak at all. Meanwhile Niki just sighed and gave Wilbur a soft disappointed look. She knew Wilbur loved his son, and that often translated to him babying the hybrid. But she’d warned him, as kindly as she could, that it seemed to upset Fundy that his own father wouldn’t treat him like anything but a kid. She’s not a parent herself, so she figures it must be hard for a parent to see their child as anything but a child, even after they’ve grown. 
But she can see Fundy’s side too. It must be massively frustrating to be looked upon like you’re just a kid. Especially since Wilbur doesn’t even treat Tommy, his own younger brother, as a child as much as he does Fundy. And she’d seen first hand how Wilbur’s attitude towards Fundy, whether or not the brunet intended for it to happen or not, did in fact influence how others treated the red furred hybrid. She’d seen Tommy, Tubbo, Eret, Sapnap, and even herself a couple times sort of not treat Fundy with the respect you’d show to a fellow adult. She tried her best to kick that habit, and her and Fundy’s friendship had really blossomed thanks to it, she thinks. But she believes Wilbur just pushed his son to his breaking point…
“He’s right, Wilbur. You can’t keep babying him. He’s a grown up now..” Niki said neutrally.
Then she let out a tired sounding breath of air and turned to follow after the fox hybrid, saying she would go check on him. But she also said Wilbur needed to talk to him later, man to man, and make things right. Said brunet looked rather flummoxed, not sure what the hell just happened. It was Tommy who broke the silence by giving an almost weak sounding ‘holy shit’. Wilbur turned his perplexed gaze to his brother and asked what the HELL that was all about! Said blond winced and gave a sigh while awkwardly scratching the back of his head, not thrilled with the weird turn this conversation took, but answered Wilbur,
“Ehh… looks like you and Fundy have some unresolved personal issues, bud..”
Wilbur barked that this wasn’t the time for Fundy to let some personal vendetta against him cloud his reasoning! They were in the middle of the do or die of the election! If they couldn’t get Fundy and Niki to agree to join their votes with theirs then they won’t win! And they’ll be in a tie with Schlatt and Quackity! Wilbur jerked his hands down, like he wanted to slam them against a table or something. But instead he just viciously scrubbed his fingers through his curly hair, feeling embittered with everyone around him. All he’d wanted was to lead HIS country! Like he rightfully should have been able to! All this election bollocks and now he was having to try and convince HIS OWN SON to help him stay president?! If it were him and Phil needed help he’d give it! Well he would if Phil were ever fucking around..
The sound of a crowd cheering caused the two to whip their heads towards the area where the stage was before they looked at each other. Not a word was spoken between them as they both took off in a run towards the stage, wondering what happened and what they were missing. They rounded the corner of the building to the left of the stage to see you smiling and waving daintily to the crowd. Not sure what they’d missed, Wilbur rushed up to Niki and asked what happened. Did you accept the presidency already?? 
Niki raised an eyebrow at her friend and nodded, saying you’d finally relented and accepted the role as president after she and Fundy came back from ‘recounting the votes’. Niki hummed and said she figured that you finally accepted the results after it was made clear that if you didn’t then everything would be stuck in a tie. But then Niki’s reflecting mood brightened and she said she really thought you’d do a good job as the new president. Even joking that you had to be better than Schlatt. 
Niki never voiced it out loud but she’d been worried Schlatt and Quackity would win. Schlatt was the biggest worry for her. To his credit, he was actually a really funny guy and she could see why Wilbur was friends with him, they just had a good chemistry and their senses of humor bounced off each other well. But… Schlatt could also be blatantly power hungry and hateful if not kept in check from the few times she’d met him or heard stories about him from Wilbur. Niki felt like giving him the amount of authority that came with being president would only end poorly. And Quackity was an alright guy in her opinion but he could be vindictive and petty too. She got the vibe that any amount of power given to him would instantly go to his head and turn him into a jerk.
But again, these were just her personal (and not spoken aloud) opinions…
She always hated being mean to people and saying hurtful things. So she kept her opinions to herself more often than not. Unless it was super important anyways. So instead of elaborating on Why she was so relieved that Schlatt and Quackity hadn’t won she instead flashed the two members of Pog2020 a smile and said it had been a fun race, and despite all the drama she really thinks Tommy’s friend will do a good job. Then with a keen raise of her eyebrows the blonde suggested with a cute smile,
“Oh, maybe you could be a member of Reader’s Cabinet! I’m sure she’ll be needing a vice president, secretary of defense, treasury, and other positions!”
Niki was honestly just trying to cheer up her friend, but the cheerful smile slipped off her face at the dark look that crossed Wilbur’s. She grew concerned when she saw how hard he was clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. His behavior over the last few weeks had been slowly worrying her, but this was starting to make her anxious. And when he started marching towards the stage she shot a panicked look to Tommy, who could do nothing but give her an equally worried and confused face before they both tried to hurry after their brown haired friend. But he got up onto the stage before either of them could grab his arm, and Niki was about to call after him but he reached your side, clearing his throat and alerting you to his presence. 
You looked down and saw him standing at attention next to you, hand outstretched for a handshake and a polite but serious smile on his face. You were surprised, thinking he was handling this with more grace than you’d expected, but a feeling deep in your gut was still on edge. You knew the destruction Wilbur Soot was all too willing and capable of doing in the selfish pursuit of keeping power over the country he made. The lives of his friends and family be damned. So while you really really wanted to hope that Wilbur will be better since you won over the other parties… you’re also highly skeptical that he will manage to keep his sanity. 
But instead of showing any of your reservations you instead simply smile and shake his hand, thanking him for congratulating your win and promising him you’ll do your best with the presidency and taking care of L’manberg. And if you noticed how his smile looked a little too angry at the edges then you didn’t say anything..
So instead of dealing with the mess that was Wilbur Soot you focused on the crowd and let go of Wilbur’s hand to stand at the sort of comically short podium and spoke out to the people you were now responsible for,
“Well, this all was certainly unexpected..”
Chuckles erupted from the crowd at that, making you feel a bit better about all of this. At least you weren’t the only one to see how wild all of this mess was.
“I’m actually really shocked! I wasn’t intending to run for president but I suppose life has other plans for me. But regardless, I’m honored you’ve all put your faith in me to lead you. I swear to do my absolute best for you and help L’manberg flourish.”
Applause from the crowd made you give a genuine smile. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad?
-0-
In the audience, watching this all unfold behind a mask and tapping his foot, stood the familiar looking figure in a green hood. Hanging around next to him was Sapnap in all his black and white dressed glory. And at some point George had gotten bored with the drama on stage and had left Quackity’s side (not that the duck hybrid had even noticed or cared) and wandered over to stand with his two friends. They watched Wilbur hand over the presidency to you and George made an off hand comment that Wilbur sure didn’t look pleased with losing, a smug laugh in his sleepy tone. Sapnap snickered but stared at you and elbowed his taller friend, asking in a curious tone while subtly gesturing to you,
“Speaking of, why didn’t you tell us you’d let someone new on the server, Dream?”
His friend glanced at him for a second longer than normal before replying with a tense tone to his voice that he hadn’t let her on. That caused both Sapnap and George to jerk their heads up to look at him in visible confusion. While George stammered through a series of ‘what’s’ and ‘wait hold on-’ Sapnap was loudly questioning what the hell he meant. The mask wearing player shushed them both before looking up to see if anyone had heard them or looked over at the twos’ loud exclamations. Thankfully nobody had. So he sighed and led them a bit further away from the crowd and explained that he’d not authorized any new members to the server. and it was true, he hadn’t. But both hybrids still looked confused and George asked, clearly puzzled,
“Well then how did she get on the server?? Nobody else can let people on, right, Dream?”
Sapnap nodded but stopped when their taller friend let out a flat hum before shaking his head ‘no’. That caught the shorter twos’ attention so he elaborated by asking them,
“Who on this server is known to have Creative Mode?”
The two blinked before it dawned on them and they looked even more shocked than before, only now it was coupled with anxiousness. Sapnap harshly whispered to the two, asking why the hell fucking GOD himself would actually let someone onto the server?? DreamXD never bothered with players and stuff, only being rumored to be seen by players if they broke server rules. George added on that this all sounded really weird. And an idea hit him and he couldn’t help but voice it. 
“You don’t think… she’s linked to DreamXD.. do you? Like working for him or something?” he asked a touch nervously.
The other two didn’t say anything, not really knowing what to say to that. Sapnap could only shrug while the tallest of their group remained silent, none of them having any answers to the string of questions they’d just let loose.
They would just have to wait and see it seemed.
-0-
@lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake @realitycanbeajerk @lostandsouciant @thegeekisheere @sparkling-gayyy
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lucemferto · 3 years
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Hey girl, don’t mind me, I just quickly went and rewrote Dream SMP Season 2.
I’m focusing on the big plot stuff from Season 2, which makes it really easy for me to make it good, because I don’t have to contend with all the hard parts like dialogue and scene pacing and stuff. As an additional challenge to myself, I try to change as little as possible. If I don’t mention stuff (like the Egg-Arc) then that means I’m fine with them the way they are.
I wrote this in an hour, so don't expect it to be good, pls.
Whether you agree or think this is trash, I'd be so interested to hear your thoughts!
ACT I
Fundy’s early arc with Ghostbur, Eret and Phil is great and should stay the way it is. It sets up the character relationships and potential for conflict that we can explore in the future.
Similarly, I wouldn’t change too much about the conflict during Exile with one exception: Both Tommy and Quackity don’t want to include Technoblade. Instead, they believe that they can take one Dream by themselves – this is important for Techno’s, Tommy’s and Quackity’s personal journey later on. In this rewrite, Quackity also didn’t found El Rapids, but instead recruited George & Sapnap to L’Manburg – because his stated goal is to make L’Manburg the strongest nation on the server, so why would he make a rival nation with a plotline that goes nowhere?
What’s also important is that it’s revealed that Dream has a spy in L’Manburg around here. Maybe Tommy confessed his burning of George’s house during a cabinet meeting and word still got out to Dream. Who knows, but it’s important for later.
Something big that I would change about this Act I is that I would give Techno an actual B-plot. As it stands, Techno’s early plotline was just “Grrr, I’m angry that Tommy would use me like that! Someone killed my cows and robbed me! L’Manburg will know my wrath”
3 weeks later
“Nevermind, I’m a pacifist now and live in the arctic”
Instead, we pick up where S1 left off. Techno is intent on destroying L’Manburg and instituting anarchy. During that time, he comes into conflict with Quackity’s henchmen (Fundy, George, Sapnap, etc.) to establish that L’Manburg could be an actual threat to him.
We also have some conflict with Phil. They’re old war buddies, but Phil’s son built L’Manburg and Phil himself is unofficially Tubbo’s advisor. I think them reconstituting their friendship will take up this early part until Tommy’s exile – it makes for a nice foil to Tommy’s and Tubbo’s friendship falling apart.
Technoblade also tries to recruit people like HBomb and Niki to his cause, but they’re hesitant, because, you know, he sent Withers to destroy their home. Not the best first impression. Techno is hurt, but convinced it’s because of L’Manburg propaganda and they don’t want to work with him, because they don’t see him as useful.
ACT II Part 1
Exile-Arc basically stays exactly the same – with one notable difference. When Technoblade comes to visit Tommy it’s not to mock him – it’s as a final attempt to convince Tommy to join him. It’s a first culmination of Techno’s character journey so far: His previous interactions with the citizenry of L’Manburg has left him shaken, but not shaken enough.
Tommy truly does need “The Blade” right now and he has no reason to further believe L’Manburg’s propaganda. So, by Technoblade’s inner logic, Tommy should accept.
But he doesn’t. Tommy viciously rips into Technoblade and gets very personal (he’s in a bad space, understandably) – Techno can play it off nonchalantly, but either the cinematography or some later moment shows us that he was hurt by this.
Nevertheless, he gives Tommy a compass that points to his HQ, showing us that he cares about Tommy, like he did during their early days in Pogtopia.
This is where we implement some big changes. The story of Technoblade and the Butcher Army becomes the A-plot, while the Exile becomes the B-plot.
It makes perfect sense. The Exile-Arc is a very inward-focused, almost a character study of Tommy and Dream. It doesn’t have a lot of big narrative movement – so the perfect time to execute on that narrative movement in the storyline that has a lot of moving pieces.
So, after Tommy chewed him out, Techno is hurt and meets with Philza. Techno then explains that for him anarchy always was the natural order of things – to fight for a world where only the strongest survive – but pursuing anarchy like that has left him empty. Philza then explains that anarchy should be more about helping people and building an equal community.
We’re all but stating a major thematic conflict of this storyline: Fighting those who wronged you vs. Helping those in need. All this while also exploring the philosophy of anarchy with Techno and Philza serving as symbolic stand-ins for some different thoughts on the matter.
So, while Tommy’s Exile is going on, Techno refines his approach. This goes hand in hand with Quackity using his henchman to turn L’Manburg into a totalitarian police state in order to root out Dream’s traitor (told you it would become important later).
This will be the main conflict here in the first half of Act 2. Quackity and Philza will play shoulder-devil and shoulder-angel respectively for Tubbo and Fundy, pulling them in different directions. Ghostbur also hangs around L’Manburg – a constant reminder for Tubbo of the most sanitized version of President Wilbur and the lofty ideas he stood for.
This is another big thematic conflict for this storyline – externalized in part through Ghostbur’s presence: When do the ends no longer justify the means? It also feeds into the motif of Tubbo and Tommy becoming like Schlatt and Wilbur respectively (even if that’s still mostly superficial).
During this political turmoil, Niki is getting into Quackity’s crosshairs. She opposes his policing and brutal methods. So Quackity really focuses in on her and she has to live with constant surveillance, searches, etc. Niki tries to talk to Tubbo about this, but he says it’s necessary to keep L’Manburg safe. Slowly, Niki grows disillusioned with L’Manburg.
It is during this time that Niki gets into contact with Techno and the two start to form a bond and helping the citizenry hold out hope during this time (I don’t know who would be the citizenry, probably people that don’t have their own storyline going on such as HBomb, Vikkstar, Lazarbeam, etc.)
And we can have a few lorestreams like that, where the conceit is that Techno’s sneaking into L’Manburg to help people and there’s actual tension.
All this culminates in Hog Hunt. Fundy sees Phil, Niki and Techno team-up. He confronts them after Techno left and Phil begs Fundy to not out them – but their divide has grown too deep (and we’ve actually shown that during Fundy’s streams this time).
Quackity has Phil and Niki incarcerated (L’Manburg has a prison now, it’s not as good as Pandora’s Vualt). Tubbo is deeply disturbed that Philza and Niki would betray him by working with the man that took one of his canon lives and finally gives the Butcher Army his presidential approval. Quackity was already prepared and the events of Hog Hunt play out as we know them.
ACT II Part 2
Again, plays out relatively similarly, except for one major difference: Tommy comes to Techno with the explicit purpose of asking for his help. Exile has left him really hardened, probably more so than we have currently.
This would a.) make Tommy a bit more proactive in his partnership with Techno and b.) actually gives some weight to Techno’s later beef with Tommy, because now it’s based on more than just some flimsy phrasing during S1.
Otherwise, this plays out relatively similarly – Techno and Tommy maybe share a few more character moments, just to drive home that Techno cares about Tommy. Also, none of that dumb keeping it a secret whether or not we destroy L’Manburg – that’s some contrived nonsense and I hate it.
Tommy knows that Techno wants to destroy L’Manburg and while he’s conflicted, he ultimately goes along with. Once he gets his discs back, everything will be over after all. The destruction of L’Manburg will have been worth it.
Part of the rising action will be breaking Phil and Niki out of prison instead of the petty bullshit about Techno’s items that he doesn’t need. This is where we have the initial confrontation between Tommy and Tubbo (and Techno doesn’t ruin the moment by being his worst self).
Other plot points include: Techno receives the Wither Skulls over the course of him and Tommy working together by some mysterious benefactor. This is after he and Tommy confronted Dream. He doesn’t tell Tommy who the benefactor is, even though he knows (spoilers: it’s Dream).
Meanwhile, Tommy, Techno, Niki and Phil are secretly rigging New L’Manburg with TNT a la Wilbur, just to really drive that comparison home. Niki is getting really angry; she has suffered enough and she’s really gonna get revenge.
One of her big moments of terrorism before the Green Festival is burning down the L’Mantree (maybe we can include some character conflict Fundy, so we have these two people who were once really close friends now so warped and torn apart by these two sides at war).
Meanwhile, Quackity has figured out that Ranboo was the traitor and is pushing for Tubbo to execute Ranboo for the greater good of L’Manburg. Tubbo is hesitant, but as there’s no moderate voice in the cabinet anymore, he concedes to the idea.
Finally, the Green Festival is here. This part is really … tough to rewrite, because you have to accommodate so many different character arcs, but I’ll try my best.
In a move not unlike during the Red Festival, Ranboo is revealed as the traitor and put in the execution cage (because those parallels). Tubbo feels really bad about it.
This is when Tommy and Techno start their assault and unleash the whithers. L’Manburg is under attack and we have the big fight between Tubbo and Tommy. We get the big shout-out “The discs were worth more than you ever were” and the ensuing epiphany on Tommy part.
Techno’s calling for him to explode the TNT, but he doesn’t do it.
Quackity is calling for Tubbo to execute Ranboo, but Tubbo has an epiphany himself and refuses. Both their personal conflicts are resolved here. Also, we have some nice parallelism between Quackity and Techno as Tubbo’s and Tommy’s respective bad influences.
Techno – understandably this time – feels betrayed and hurt. He and Tommy have their shouting match. Quackity tries to attack Techno, but during their match they accidentally trigger the TNT. Quackity’s hunger for power has created the grave of his ambitions.
(Niki is also pissed at Tommy and Fundy is fully distraught, because L’Manburg was everything he had left from Wilbur).
Dream steps out of the shadows and reveals that he was Techno’s mysterious benefactor. He gets his hands on the second disc and gloats to Tommy. The scene from Doomsday plays out only that Techno shows some stings of remorse for helping Dream accomplish what he wanted. (Quackity flees the ensuing chaos).
Dream tries to goad Tommy with the discs, but Tommy doesn’t bite, because he has resolved his Want vs. Need now. Dream is frustrated, but retreats for now.
ACT III
In the aftermath of ACT II, I think it’s very important to hammer home that this wasn’t a win for Techno, Niki or Phil. For that to work I think it’s important to make clear that Tommy’s and Techno’s bond was genuine and that they really cared for each other during the Bedrock Bros thing. Neither of them is happy for how this turned.
Niki is plagued by nightmares and sleeps in a prison cell like in the current canon. She stands in symbolic for the emptiness that vengeance brings. Phil is shaken from his talk to Ghostbur and he’s the one who brings up that maybe what they did wasn’t for the best.
Then Techno and Phil have a discussion about the nature of anarchy again, calling back to that earlier conversation at the beginning of Act 2. Techno also feels empty – his vengeance and the destruction he wrought left him no happier.
Meanwhile, Punz and Tommy are actually spending some quality bonding time. Thanks to the medium, they could simulate that pretty well. Punz actually gets attached and when Dream mentions his coup-de-grâce, the cinematography shows that Punz isn’t too happy about it.
Tommy and Tubbo prepare to fight Dream on their own terms. They know, they have to stop him lest he hurts the people they care about (this makes both of them a bit more proactive in the finale). Punz (as per Dream’s orders) tells Tommy where Dream is hiding. Tommy thanks him, oblivious that Punz is a traitor, but Punz feels bad. He has grown attached to Tommy.
During the Final Disc War we actually get two perspectives: One is Tommy’s and Tubbo’s as we know it (only without the constant “Your discs or Tubbo”-stuff) and the other is Punz’s. He has decided to help Tommy even though there’s nothing monetarily in it for him.
First, he goes to Quackity, but Quackity says that Tommy has betrayed him and L’Manburg and that he gets what’s coming to him.
In a last-ditch effort, he goes to Techno. Here’s where we resolve that thematic conflict (Vengeance vs. Charity) for the Techno-Butcher Army storyline: Quackity has chosen to perpetuate the cycle of vengeance (because he will be the villain in S3), but we want some nice character development for Techno.
Niki is against it and stays put, but Techno and Philza ultimately decide to go with Punz and the others to help Tommy.
Finale plays out the same. Stuff’s still awkward between Techno and Tommy/Tubbo; they haven’t resolved all their problems, but it’s a first step. Some good set-up for S3.
And that’s my basic rewrite. It’s long and probably not the best.
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orionshounds · 3 years
Text
I’ve been knee deep in dsmp lore streams and I just want to ramble about it
Dream smp lore is so good, it’s so good!!! Not only is the story itself just fascinating, but how it’s presented so uniquely through the medium of minecraft of all things is just so cool. One of my favorite parts of the lore is seeing how everyone on the smp has their own “style” they present it in, and watching them find the way they find the most enjoyment in is so cool. Literally no two streamer’s lore stream quite like each others and it’s just incredible! It just speaks to the flexibility of roleplay as an artistic medium and really shows everyone’s individual personalities. 
Wilbur was dramatic as hell and wrote eloquent speeches. He started a drug operation under the guise as a country, and it lead to a revolution in which he was able to explore the spiral of a man who loses control of everything he had built. And after his arc and he wanted a break from the server? He created ghostbur, an amnesic comic relief with just enough touch of tragedy that he is still able to make heartbreaking monologues when he wants to.
Tommy is able to run around with his friends and cause as much chaos to his heart’s extent, but there is so much more than meets the eye. He is incredibly social and isn’t afraid to start conflict with a lot of people, bringing them into the roleplay. He doesn’t back down from storytelling either. His character goes through terrible situations and he fully explores the trauma that comes from those experiences. His character goes against the “stereotypical” trauma I see alot in media; instead of being shy or scared he’s reactionary, he’s angry, he’s violent, he’s depressed. I’m actually really impressed with the heavy subject matter this 17 year old teen has managed to portray (I’ve connected with it quite personally at certain points), while still being able to keep the light hearted fun that’s so intrinsic to his personality. 
Tubbo isn’t really interested in serious lore as much. Even in dire moments he tells jokes and just has fun. So, in his recent lore, he just streams as normal while putting mysterious writing on screen that he doesn’t acknowledge or have to explain, which I think is just a genius work around for him to participate in lore. He still has his dedicated lore streams sometimes, and when he is in the acting zone he has some of the most powerful moments out of everyone on the server.
Ranboo, while having stake in the greater smp lore, is much more character focused. He presents his lore through long monologues and fucking heart-wrenching voice acting. He loves working in themes of horror and causing a specific feeling in the viewer. So he chooses specific music as a themes for events/characters and creates visual queues in his overlays to draw out that desired reaction. He also values improve a LOT, if something unexpected comes up he just runs with it and he has made huge changes to his lore as early as 30 min before a stream.
Technoblade, while arguably one of the most powerful people on the server, prefers a more light-hearted yet dramatic approach to lore. When Dream was at his house looking for Tommy, Techno had no problem joking around and making fun of him for being homeless. He tore down an entire nation on the server and had so much fun doing it! He’s more of an antagonist than a true villain in my opinion. And lets not forget how dedicated he is to the game, he’s cracked at the craft. He spends hours grinding and creating farms on the smp, for amazing pay offs (his several vault reveals, the withers, etc), most of which weren’t even on stream!
Karl Jacobs is extremely social, so he created Tales from the smp as a way to involve TONS of people in lore while exploring the past and future of the server (it was also a way for viewers who weren’t that well versed in dsmp lore to join and not have to worry about it!). And through this premise, he took the opportunity to develop his own character on the smp; making an incredibly tragic story of a time traveler trying to save his home while slowly loosing his memories. Not to mention the beautifully shot cutscenes of the Inbetween and the Other Side. He includes so many people behind the scenes as well, collabing with other members on lore, hiring building teams and people to make intros and credit scenes, and promoting fanart and fansongs from the community!
Quackity explores his lore through heavily scripted events and amazingly shot cut scenes. While the way he expresses his lore comes at the cost of improv, the payoff of the visuals and story is well worth it! The shots he makes of the smp is downright gorgeous, no to mention he’s the first person to include irl footage in his lore (not counting facecams)! He’s not afraid of thoroughly examining his own character, being one of the only people I can think of that shows us “past events” leading up to something that has already happened.
Badboyhalo, Antfrost, Ponk, Skeppy, Captain Puffy, Punz, Awesamdude, Hannahxxrose all work together on shared lore and the payoff is amazing! By introducing the Egg, a constant antagonistic force that constantly pulls on character’s relationships with each other, everyone is able to stream together to battle for or against the egg! There’s also plenty of room for people to do individual lore that's more intimate to their respective character. They spend hours changing vines, putting up posters, slowly shaping the smp in a way that makes it exciting to watch streams to see just what has changed everyday. Because there’s so many people necessary to tell the egg’s story, it does comes at the cost of time (the egg has been around FOREVER). However, they all work together super hard and I just admire their commitment to the story they’re trying to tell!
And Sam! He has several different “Modes” his character is in (and an entirely separate character, Sam Nook) that he gets to explore lore with. He’s a terrifying warden, he’s a money motivated businessman, he’s a conflicted lover, he’s a traumatized victim of the egg, and just so much more. Through having so many different “roles” in the rp he gets to explore relationships and plotlines with a whole array of people. Not to mention he’s absolutely cracked at redstone and has some of the most impressive builds on the server.
And Puffy! So much of her lore is calling into question the morality of the server and really makes you step back and think critically about the characters. Her character also has, in my opinion, one of the most interesting relationships with Dream, the main antagonist of the entire server, which is just fascinating to watch unfold. Not to mention she’s one of the first people to start exploring the backstory of her character!
George doesn’t exactly do lore. In fact he’s slept through so much of it it’s become a meme. And you know what? That mad man took that and ran with it. He explains his absence in the story by having his character literally being asleep through it, creating mystery where there used to just be an absence. He’s able to goof off with his friends and have borderline nonsensical streams, then at the end sucker punch the audience emotionally by “waking up” and have the viewers question just what was real and what wasn’t?
The smp has the freedom for people who want more independent lore to be able to explore their character’s that way as well!
Hbomb, Connereatspants, and Purpled don’t have a lot of lore on the smp, generally only coming on to have fun with everyone, but when they do have their moments it unfolds in very interesting ways!
Sapnap, Eret, and Schlatt maybe aren’t as active as some other people, but when they are on they actively participate in lore and have lasting impacts on the story (Ex: Eret’s betrayal, Sapnap’s visit to dream in the prison, Schlatt becoming president).
Philza mostly does his own thing, improving the server or making some bomb ass builds. He has incredibly devastating roles in lore (killing wilbur, blowing up L’manberg for the final time, starting the syndicate with Techno), but he also has quieter moments that speak to the depth his character has, such as fishing with fundy or reminiscing about his dead son and how it went so wrong. Like Techno, he doesn’t like to take lore completely seriously, often laughing no matter what’s happening or teasing chat after something big goes down, but his character is solid with a lot of potential for future lore.
Foolish has only started on his character and its already super interesting. The hints at his dark past as a “god of death” and his current conflict with the egg are intriguing as fuck. Not to mention the MASSIVE builds he does for everyone, helping to progress their lore as well.
Fundy has a lot of freedom with his character to participate however much he wants in lore. While generally he’s a trickster who loves to prank people he has enough tragedy build into his backstory he’s able to break the viewer’s heart with a flip of a switch. Not to mention his recent, almost surreal, stream that explored his character’s disturbing dreams that may or may not predict the future.
Niki is very character driven, exploring her character's grief of losing her best friend and her anger of being ignored in the very country she helped create. She has incredibly emotional moments, and even though she’s on her own building an underground city she still participates in other lore via teaming with jack manifold or the syndicate.
Jack Manifold’s lore is VERY character focused, and while he’s described his story as a “B plot that occasionally intersects with the main plot”, the story he tells is still fascinating. Being pushed aside not taken seriously his whole life, his character develops into a fun cartoony-esque villain who begs to be taken seriously, that has the depth of a truly conflicted person who is torn between wanting revenge on everyone who’s done him wrong and just wanting a friend.
Last but not least, the man himself, Dream. The most fascinating thing about his lore is that absolutely none of it is from his pov. All we know about his character is only from what we see from everyone else’s povs, and in his case it leads to a very intimidating villain! Not to mention, mans owns the damn server and yet has made himself the main antagonist! He is the only character I consider a “true villain” on the smp. His voice acting and writing is downright sinister. I could write a fucking essay on how his character’s obsession with power has led him to the point he thinks himself an unstoppable god
Everyone on this server is stunning and I love all of them!!!!!
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lockoutkey · 3 years
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Was Scott drunk with H when Jimmy came back or were they having The Conversation?
Both, which made his appearance much worse.
H was across from Scott, psyching himself up to tell Scott he could remember the past. He deserved to know the truth, especially with Jimmy gone. And he was drunk, if he took it bad, he could hopefully forget. "Scott, I need to tell you something. I know you've been having a hard time with Jimmy gone, I have too. But you deserve to know the truth. "
Scott glanced up. His eyes were cloudy. "What's wrong? What do you mean the truth?"
Hbomb traced the table. "A long time ago, there was a hunter in a game. He won, and was gifted a kingdom."
Scott gripped the table. "How do you know-"
"The king watched over the people, but the gods had watched the games. One god watched the man who one and fell in love. They were married, but the kingdom broke out into war. The god went back to beg his king to allow his husband to gain immortality, but was denied. The god was going to help his husband win the war, but the king was killed before he could arrive." Hbomb refused to look at Scott. He didn't want to see whatever expression he had.
"How do you know that story?" Scott whispered.
"It was me."
Scott wasn't able to reply. Jimmy walked through the door and passed out the moment he realized he was no longer in Hell. He was exausted and probably in bad health. Neither knew what he had been through, but they knew he needed help.
“Hbomb! Get a chair or pillow or something!” Scott called. He was not panicking just because Jimmy suddenly showed up at midnight, stumbling inside the store from outside, but because he wasn’t completely processing it.
How the hell was Jimmy here? Don’t get them wrong, they were overjoyed. But Jimmy didn’t even believe Scott was real at first. It took seeing Hbomb and confirmation from Scott to get him to believe it. They hoped. He was unconscious and couldn’t ask.
Hbomb ran to a section he knew had pillows and blankets. He grabbed a few and sprinted back. Scott had Jimmy laying down, head off the floor. Hbomb slid the pillow under his head and covered him with blankets.
"How did he get here? He's been gone for so long?" Scott asked. It was a theoretical question, he didn't expect H to know. "I can't believe he escaped. False...she let him..."
He knew the gods could be kind, but this much, it felt like there would be a catch. Maybe the catch was him not even surviving the night. He was pale and barely breathing. He couldn't help the thought, but he never knew what Scott thought of him now. Though that was unimportant. As usual, he was pushed to the back of the room. He shouldn't be thinking so bitterly, but he was.
"I'm going to get help, stay here. Don't let anything happen to him." Scott ran off, probably to call an ambulance. He stumbled going up the stairs. That's right, he had been hoping Scott could forget in his drunken state. That would never happen now.
Hbomb looked at Jimmy's sickening face. "I don't know why you think I would."
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a-wild-rosette · 3 years
Text
C!Fundy, Friendships, and Healing
Entry for Fundy Week 2021 - Day 1: Friendship @fundyfiles
/dsmp /rp 
Tl,dr: Eret, Ranboo, Hbomb94 relationships with Fundy through season 1,2, and 3 of the Dream SMP respectively. 
Names refer to the characters, unless specified as “cc!” 
1) Season 1: Eret 
Fundy was the first, and up until Finale of Season 2, the only one who forgave and bonded with Eret after their betrayal. (While I don’t think Tubbo held a lot of bad feelings toward Eret, their bond was never the same after that.) Up to now, none of the people who had hurt Fundy has given him closure or an apology, except for Eret. Their relationship was made stronger during the peace era, but the prank war that eventually brought them closer started when they were still enemies. Eret with Fundy, therefore, represents the possibility of forgiveness and the healing by trying to be better and supporting each other.
To further show this arc of healing and forgiveness, Eret was the one whom Fundy came to for help when he started his spy arc, because of, not in spite out, Eret’s past role as a spy/traitor. Fundy acknowledged Eret past mistake, and instead of holding him to it, he forgave Eret and even saw it as something that could help him. Fundy saw Eret’s past and saw it as something that made Eret even more of a confidant. 
This healing, however, was cut off when things became more tense and Fundy went deeper into his role as a spy. Both Eret and Niki felt betrayed when Fundy burned down the flag, and that caused a (temporary) rift between them all. 
This was where the role was relatively reversed for Eret and Fundy. This time, it was Fundy who did something that hurt Eret, and this time, it was also Eret who forgave Fundy and fought by his side. They were there for Fundy when he needed a father. From when Fundy and Eret bonded after the Final Control Room, Eret had always been a supporting figure in Fundy’s life, despite the hiccups along the way, and that lasted through season 2 and 3, albeit in a lesser extend because they were more inactive and less involved in Fundy’s lore. 
2) Season 2: Ranboo
Ranboo has a special role in Fundy’s life in Season 2 because he was the start of Fundy’s healing after the spy arc. Ranboo with Fundy was the change from Fundy seeking validation from a figure of authority to him seeking companionship in a friend. (Similar things could be said from his friendships with Niki and Eret, but their friendships were also broken apart during the Schlatt presidency, when Fundy’s trauma related to authority figures also manifested in a more obvious and serious extend.) 
Therefore, Ranboo with Fundy was also a new beginning. Unlike Niki and Eret, whose relationships with Fundy were stil somewhat tainted by the trauma from both Schlatt and Wilbur, Ranboo was someone completely new and unrelated to season 1. Ranboo was a chance for Fundy to restart and try to find a new companionship that did not involve seeking authoritative validation. Fundy needed that opportunity to find a way to heal. And for a while, he did. C!Ranboo was genuinely good to Fundy. He cared about Fundy as equals and spent the majority of Fundy’s online time with Fundy. Because both cc!Eret and cc!Niki, people whose characters made up a large proportion of c!Fundy’s support system, were also inactive, c!Ranboo became an important part of c!Fundy’s healing.  
This healing, once again, was cut off, this time due to Doomsday and Ranboo’s moral dilemma. And this breaking in Ranboo and Fundy’s friendship broke Fundy even more seriously. As the other parts of his support system were also angry at him (Niki) or did not run into Fundy during that moment (Eret), losing Ranboo meant losing the last of Fundy’s support system, rendering Fundy’s healing through season 2 also meaningless in Fundy’s view. At that point, Fundy had already fallen into a nihilistic mindset, and Ranboo’s rejection was the final nail in the coffin. 
What was even more tragic was that even after a long time now, there still had not been the same forgiveness and support from Ranboo as Eret had shown Fundy. Fundy tried to rekindle his and Ranboo’s friendship, in a way that resembled what he and Eret did, and what he and Ranboo started their friendship on: through pranks and jokes. It did not work, obviously. But that was the most available tool for Fundy to start and/or mend his relationship with someone. Fundy wasn’t going the right way to handle their relationship, yes, but his effort was largely one-sided, which just served to remind us that he did not have anyone solid to rely on. 
3) Season 3: Hbomb94
Hbomb was... a very special case because he was very much not active in the lore, but was constantly there in the background. At this rate, I cannot say H will play a big part in Fundy’s lore or in being his canon support system (unless he wants to prove me wrong wink wink nudge nudge). But the smaller things he did with Fundy and their interactions in general (which was confirmed to be canon by Hbomb himself) was comforting enough. 
Hbomb had been a constant in the background from all three season, but we started to see his relationship with Fundy a lot more clearly in season 3 because he seemed to be the only *positive* interactions Fundy got during Fundy’s streams. (The other positive interactions included Niki having a room for Fundy in her underground city and Eret offering Fundy a place in their castle, but they only happened once and in a much shorter time than all the time he spent with H). 
The catmaid bit started during season 1, continued into season 2 (with Ranboo being 50% of the reason of Fundy’s suffering), and moved into season 3. In season 1 and 2, Fundy pretty much was mostly scammed into having the catmaid, even though he did stick around with H. (One of Fundy’s love language is Quality Time, see my other essay for detail, coupling with the mere exposure effect, it could be argued that even in season 1 and 2, Fundy was secretly fond of catmaid H, or at least Hbomb as a person.) In season 3, however, Fundy was the one who *willingly* sought him out for help with the TNT prank, despite knowing that catmaid H was the most useless helper ever. Indeed, he ended up doing most of the work himself, but the fact that Fundy sought him out, asked for help, and spent time with catmaid H, said a lot about their bond. 
Not to mention, Hbomb also seemed to care about Fundy and constantly thought about him. He even had a room for Fundy in his “evil” mansion, and invited Fundy to his diamond game on the DSMP. H was also one of the people who was constantly nice to Fundy beside one brief moment where he was upset with Fundy during Doomsday (where most people were not thinking rationally) for taking all of the ancient debris H left as a gift for the server. He didn’t even get upset violently to Fundy, just to himself and Niki for a bit. (The bar is low for Fundy, bear with me.) H was a mellow person, and one of the very few people who was consistently good and mature on the server, and that showed through his treatment not only to Fundy, but also to Niki and other people who came across him. 
Overall, Fundy’s interactions with Hbomb were a good reprieve from Fundy being constantly narratively punished for his small mistakes or for his emotional vulnerability. 
Conclusion: Please hug the Fundy. He needs it. 
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grimaussiewitch · 2 years
Text
The elytra event is in a few hours so here’s some my headcanons. Also, I have a post about my elytra headcanons so go there if you want to read me ramble on and on.
Tubbo: I really like tubbo to be both a bee and goat hybrid so probably built the elytra to assist in his wings. If he can make a nuke, he can make an elytra.
Tommy: Test tube baby grew wings after years of being a lab rat. The wings started to grow after he was revived but he hadn’t realised they were they.
Ranboo: Damn bro, your end heritage is showing. He has wings like the ender dragon and either forgot or didn’t want to show them.
Wilbur: Has wings like Phil, he didn’t have them until he was revived.
Techno: Most likely built his elytra after escaping prison. But I also came up with that after helping Phil so much, lady death came to techno while he was sleeping, did some magic and now techno wakes up screaming “HEH?” at his angel of death wings.
Phil: I know everyone wants Phil’s wings to have grown back or healed, but I like the idea that someone (most likely techno or Ranboo) built the elytra to assist his damaged wings. Fluffy angst people!
Quackity: Duck wings! He has hid them with bandages but with Dream in prison and thinking he has escaped, it’s time to sure who’s boss.
Charlie: Slime wings that covers over a very old elytra.
Niki: Either built her own with the help of either Jack or the syndicate. If not, has Phoenix wings that she feels comfortable showing now.
Jack: Mother f*cker built his elytra out of spite.
BBH: He just straight up has demon wings but never felt the need to bring them out because he thought it would be rude if he could fly but no one else.
Skeppy: Probably stole the elytra from Dream XD.
Fundy: Damn bro! You’re a salmon, a fox and a bird!? His grandfather’s genes finally appear.
Karl: Ends up with an elytra on his time travelling trips but doesn’t remember where, when or how. One side is black while the other is white. Probably later on paints the elytra with multiple colours.
Sapnap: Demon wings his dad. Really wanted to use his wings for so long but Bad kept saying no. Decided “f*ck this” and his fire like demon wings are here to stay.
George: He gains a pair of angel wings from Dream XD. That’s one way to wake up.
Dream: He stole them from the ender dragon and added some mechanical additions. It’s stored away in his ender chest.
Puffy: Helped a god once, they gave her the blueprints for making an elytra. It was stored away in her ship and only now has she got them back.
Foolish: Has always had wings but being that he is with mortals and such, he had to limit a bit of his powers. Decided to bring them out since he can’t use his lightning powers at the moment.
Eret: I love the idea that she grows monarch butterfly wings or has unlocked some of herobrine’s powers and can just straight up fly, the elytra is just part of the game, not the storytelling.
Eryn: Lab rat? Yes! Has grown wings because of their lab rat past? Yes!
Boomer: He brought the elytra with him and nobody could stop the froggy man!
Purpled: He is an alien! The elytra is from space! It got damaged when he crashed to earth so he has been fixing them for a while.
Hannah: I’ve seen people say plant wings so maybe that or she stole it from purpled’s ufo.
Punz: Definitely bought the elytra off of someone sketchy. I also like the idea of bee hybrid punz too.
Ponk: She’s a doctor and has spent time around Sam so he knows a thing or two about elytras. (Or they stole the blueprint from sam lol)
Sam: Like tubbo, sam is very smart so he definitely built the elytra. For extra angst, it was originally for Tommy.
Michael: Listen, I listened to WTNV, this man as a radio host has the same vibes. Dude just straight up has the creepy biblical angel wings and I refuse any other ideas.
Tina: She said she is a demon so Tina has demon wings but claims every cat person has them. (Much to the confusion of H and Ant)
Hbomb: Magical girl powers. That is all.
Ant: He wakes up to a mysterious red and white gift. It’s an elytra! There is no sender. It couldn’t be… you know… right?
Connor: If Connor had an elytra from smp live, probably just bought them back to the dream smp but was too lazy to use them.
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zathechaosgod · 3 years
Text
Favourite Stream Moments:
Streamed by Philza on Twitch on Friday 27th of November
Dream Smp today! (it’s gonna be a weird one today)
Greedy greedy phil is back!!! For the higher donos now
Merch Store is closing! Black Friday store code though, use BFCM10 for 10% off!
Lmao Phil and Ponk said hi to Tubbo at the same time
“THE PPS”
Phil removed the austrains sign on the banned board
Wilbur is a vengeful spirit today, and told Phil to check out some areas
Karl made a school out of Phil’s upper floor???
Phil may have to use the gun
Tubbo!
Tubbo wants to make a panic room, given that all (former) presidents have died in l’manberg so far
Phil reminded him of the last panic room
“Why is there a penis?”
The signs are funny though lmao
Things I’ve learned from chat: that thing was supposed to be a strip club?
uhoh ghostbur has joined what will he do
he just showed up and immediately went invisible
BOO
Lol Phil is taking down every sign Wilbur places and Wil just,,, hit him with a fist lol
Tubbo struggling a bit to read Wilbur’s sign and getting mad when Phil is just,,, trying to support him lmao
“Oh my god! My horse is following me!” (Ghostbur was sitting on the horse lol)
LMANTREE NOOOOO
“you and tommy like the tree, three got yeeted”
“you and tommy like the view, view got yeeted”
“is that fox smoking”
tubbo really is already getting corrupted lol “let’s go debt collecting”
chat is starting to spam “techno is right” lol
“i feel like i’m a really good tour guide” tubbo literally while phil is spinning around in confusion
“your taxdollars at work” as tubbo raids eret’s castle and hbomb’s stuff
chat is either spamming “TECHNO WAS RIGHT” or “STEAL FROM THE RICH”
“when the government helps people, pog. when it doesn’t, which it has multiple times on this server, not pog.”
“well if it helps anything, I have a cheeseburger” (in respons to the previous point lmao”
wilbur just,,, following them around in the background lol
In front of the prime church: “Say the line, phil” “worship and prayer” (tubbo actually meant the prime sellout speech, but phil’s chat sells out for him)
(why does the prime picture miss another piece every time i see it?)
“the sooner you take your armour off, the sooner there will be season 5”
Phil wants to add water to the creater until it looks like venice! Rain is turned off, so he’ll add a layer every month or so
a skeleton made an attempt on tubbo’s life lol
and then ghostbur scared him by shooting the bell right next to him
UHOH A CREEPER BLEW UP THE WALL THAT SEALED OFF THE BUTTON ROOM AND GHOSTBUR IS NOW STANDING IT THE BUTTON ROOM
“we can’t lie, he’ll find out” “uhhh no, no I think we can”
“i dont want serious talks thank :)”
“oh this skeleton is getting on my tits”
(why is this post today exclusively quotes? my apologies)
tubbo is struggling so hard with his xbox game bar thingy
“it’s fine you’re old you don’t need kneecaps” when phil took fall damage lol
“this whole operation is in shambles”
Lmaoooo Tubbo went to bring his plate downstairs and asked phil to entertain his chat and phil just,,, put a pufferfish in front of tubbo and dug straight down to look for lava
phil is still in the denial phase of wilbur fucking a salmon lmaooo “no it’s a shapeshifter!”
Today in poetic justice on the dream smp: the panic room for the newest president being constructed out of obsidian mined from the flag the last president made
“you’re the A-S-S! you’re the ass!” (this means advanced secret service, btw)
Chat is now spamming ASSZA
Tubbo now also realised the potential for assza lmaooo
Tubbo stopped after falling down into the panick room and getting stuck there lmaooo
chat spamming “FIX THE LANTERN” and phil not trusting us lmaooo (we were right)
phil is old he took a two hour nap today with kristin lol
momza is calling it a pancake coma lmao
probably hardcore again on monday!
On the way to the nether to grind some ancient debris
Phil will fix the lmantree if people in the discord will send him reference pics!
#LMANTREE
rip the twitter employee
1mil vid on the way! he recorded a bunch for it yesterday and is editing now!
LMAO PEOPLE HAVE SAID PHIL LOOKS LIKE ED SHEERAN
aww tubbo’s stream crashed :((
(also psa stop spamming streamers to vc other creators, they can just contact each other if they want to and it’s up to them to do so, not you)
MOMZA IS NOW ALSO CALLED MRS MINECRAFT
pog the discord has already posted lmantree pics and they are helpful but also very small lol
phil is fixing the lmantree now!
every time the tree is visible the entire chat just becomes “o7” lol
a dono went “just burned down an orphanage” and phil going “technoblade?”
TECHNOBAN/TECHNOBELT
TECHNOBLADE BANNED LITTLEECHNOBLADE BC THEY SAID THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE TECHNOBLADE IN THE STREAM
“and it’s gonna be me kid, banned.”
LMANTREE LIVES ON ANOTHER DAY
what does lettuce juice taste like?
phil called us “absolutely feral” like,, what did he expect?
he’s taking screenshots of the tree for future times when he undoubtedly has to fix it again lmao
there’s a certain irony in phil going to get more wood right after fixing the tree
phil thinks that the rubber ducky looks like it has a black eye bc of the blush lmao
(cant unsee now)
Philza minecraft, the man who fixes creeper holes and also yeets an entire riverside bc he needed dirt
“Oh gosh I wonder what happened here” looks at obviously a bed bombing for debris
Minecraft fact of the day: Fire has an improved hitbox! so you can break fire from below now.
rip Quackity just joined and is sad
phil tries to reassure quackity he doesn’t need women
quackity: “you just want to see me die alone dont you”
meanwhile phil is trying to recover his debris from a tower of lava
and chat is having a lettuce cult, lead by momza
multiple ancient debris POG (literally three seperate chunks but theyre all like four blocks away from each other??? why does the game love him so much
ALSO POG THE MCC TEAMS WITH QUACKITY AND FUNDY AND PHIL AND WILBUR
aww momza came by to celebrate getting ancient debris AND BROUGHT HIM A PLATE OF LETTUCE AS A SNACK LMAOOOOOOOO
oh no he’s eating it with the echo mic on :(((
C R U N C H
MORE ANCIENT DEBRIS HOWTF
techno is punching air right now lol
it’s potato vs lettuce vs corn now, potato led by techno, lettuce by momza, and corn by someone in the sub chat?
momza really is just even more chaotic than chat is lmao
are lettuce puns just gonna be a thing now? also they’re all literally just “let us” it’s just one pun ):
also sand cult is back due to the lettuce thing
FOUR ANCIENT DEBRIS TOGETHER POG
LIKE TWO STREAMS AGO PHIL WAS POOR HES RICH NOW
ITS FIVE WHAT
*confused internal screaming*
“this one is gonna be useless anyway” *attempts to craft the bed upside down* AND STILL FINDS A PIECE OF DEBRIS HOW
also phil apparently also once after a night of drinking just,,, took out a head of lettuce and ate it
(bc brain went hungry+thirsty, let’s fix both!)
also his entire family was sat next to him and it took them like, 20mins to realise he was eating a head of lettuce
S P L A S H (at request of phil lol)
...there’s just an xray mine? someone needed content lol
TUBBO RAID POG
people are just telling lettuce/cabbage stories now
honestly one of the funniest thing about the dream smp is phil stumbling upon other people’s mines, bc 10/10
Reasons why fast food sucks in the uk/europe: There are laws to stop companies from selling food that will kill us
(and that exact stuff tastes REALLY GOOD)
whoop lore time fundy needs to talk
eret didn’t show up when he was supposed to
SALLY WAS AN ACCOUNTANT?
fundy angst go brrrr
also phil is still bed bombing in the background lol
*insert sidemen joke here*
fundys first interaction with vikkstar was vikk pushing him off a bridge rip
phil will step in, seeing as eret seems incapable and values sleep over fundys life lmao
fundy asked if phil had a spare bed and phil just started crafting one lmaooooo
aww fundy is moving in with phil!
FUNDY WANTS TO GO FISHING
FISHING STREAM POG
KARL HURT LMANTREE???
LAMO TUBBO JOINED THE VC LITERALLY AS FUNDY STARTED WATERBOARDING THE VILLAGER
*que “now he can’t breathe”*
lmao phil took the water from fundy’s water buckets bc he wouldn’t sto pwaterboarding jeff
tubbo is now voicing jeff as fundy continues to waterboard him (and it’s honest both hilarious and horrifying)
“fundy, have you been stood up for adoption?”
oof wilbur just came on
phil is now telling fundy what happened at the button
TUBBO JUST MADE A CILLIT BANG JOKE “BOOM AND THE DIRT IS GONE”
oof ghostbur is literally haunting them as phil told fundy how his father got killed by him
“i feel like i’m failing to read the room here a little bit” oh really tubbo
phil and fundy: going on an emotional fishing trip
ghostbur and tubbo: haunting and getting them dmca’d
TUBBO ATTEMPTED TO FIND A NON COPYRIGHTED GHOST BUSTERS THEME AND ACCIDENTALLY PLAYED BABY SHARK
FUNDY JUST CAUGHT A SALMON
“now both your parents are dead” tubbo no
Also fishing tutorial starting around 2:50:00 lol
Ghostbur really is attempting to fix things with fundy huh
WILBUR JUST IMPLIED HE WAS GETTING HORNY FROM FUNDY HOLDING A SALMON LMAOOO
Phil had to mute himself he completely lost it lmaooo
b o o
fundy ran away :( (ghostbur called him “my little champion”)
FUNDY IS CANONICALLY ONLY FOURTEEN WHAT
“phil you like severs dont you” “not really no”
“well I am swimming in shit all the time. join me”
fundy’s back! and trying to have a serious talk
phil is just there lmao
him side-eyeing lmaooo
tubbo joined just to whisper “this is like watch a tv show” lol
Ghostbur really just went “i gotta go talk to tubbo now”, went invis and ran away huh
phil just in f5 staring into the camera lol
tubbo is trying to make it fun again and fundy is just,,, frozen and traumatised
“lemme just get the president out of the hole”
SOMEONE IN CHAT REALLY WENT “TUBBO IS DYSLECTIC NO WONDER HE CANT READ THE ROOM”
Phil is just such a dad huh “focus on yourself”
B O N K
DADBO
Tubbo thinks he owns fundy now and is attempting to (re)name him why
and just put him in a minecart and pushed him off the platform as part of an adoption ritual?
AND PUT HIM IN A CHAIR AND BONKED HIM IN THE HEAD AND LOGGED OFF
“well that was weird. that’s the president i guess”
(i give it a month max before l’manberg is destroyed again)
“it’s reverb” that means it’s funny”
Tubbo is doing the dudududuuu theme he’s got going during this whole thing
annnnd now we’re back to the dream song lol
SPEEDRUN
They’re just clowning dream now lol
buy yeezys
(lanusky’s stream last night was fun lmao)
okay tubbo
it’s the new tubbo moment lololol
rip tubbo’s twitter replies
they’re gonna start the filling with water part now!
tubbo went to the dentist
TUBBO STILL HAS FOUR BABY TEETH WHAT
ALSO 420SUBS AGAIN WILL WE GET BLEND W WELL SEE
“did you keep the receipt?” tubbo at phil about the teeth that were taken out
it frustrates me how well tubbo actually sings wow
YES TUBBO PHILS INTRO THEME FOR STREAMS IS SUCH A BOP
every time tubbo plays the dream song phil speeds up lo
and tubbo is attempting (threatening?) to adopt fundy again
ADOPTION SPEEDRUN
I FLOODED THE DREAM SMP (NOT CLICKBAIT???)
TUBBO OUR HERO YES LETS GO
SNOOP DOOOOOOGGG
have we done the deed
dream smp starbucks name suggestions: tubbucks/l’starbucks/l’manbucks
ohh end of the stream bc tubbo wants to record something? (the hint phil gave fundy was “AAAAAAAAA”
Double raid with fundy!!!
Ranboo raid!!!!!
tubbo is shaking with rage at that? apparently he thinks ranboo is evi lol
See y’all on monday again!
(momza says eat your lettuce!)
also rip ranboos stream, boy just got like 38k additional viewers to the 2k he had lmao
(both follower and sub goals made in like 5 mins)
check out ranboo if you have time! he’s fun and currently running for president of lmanberg 2021 lololol
232 notes · View notes
amintyworld · 3 years
Text
Once Upon a Time - Twisted Fairytales AU
A/N: Here’s another prologue/introduction to another one of @dreamsmp-au-ideas’s AUs - Twisted Fairytale AU. There’s a more detailed explanation of the AU on their blog, which you guys should definitely check out! Anyway, I hope you enjoy! - Minty
TW: Mind control(?)/taking over someone’s body, manipulation, vomiting, panic attack, implied major character death(?), arguing, cursing, insanity(?). (Tell me if I need to tag anything else!)
-----------------------------------------
Once upon a time, long ago, there was a land of opportunity and friendship, a place meant to be a sanctuary for all those who needed it, a place where people could be happy and live in peace. In this land were three fearsome warriors whom no one dared cross, as such they were loved and respected by all who knew them. For a while, the three warriors lived together in harmony and friendship, and it was said in legend that apart they were strong, but together they were practically unstoppable. Two of these warriors, seeing the land around them grow and flourish looked toward the future, toward a growing power that threatened their kingdom and grew prepared to face it. The other warrior’s heart darkened at this growing power and feared the destruction it would bring. While the three warriors swore to stay together, the pained warrior swore to himself to see the power’s complete demise at whatever cost it would take.
Desperate, the darkened warrior sought a greater power from an older god whose name was lost to time itself. Asking for a wish in trade for anything the god wanted, the warrior pleaded to the god for help. The god agreed to grant his wish in return for the warrior’s greatest treasure. As a symbol of their agreement, the god gave the warrior a white clay mask that would bind them together for all time. Before the god vanished, however, they gave the warrior a warning: “Careful of the birds that feed from your hand, for they will be the first to bite.”
Years passed as the warrior’s heart broke and crushed into burning coal, became even too dark for the brightest light to touch. First, it was the Crooked King. Then it was the God of Blood, then the Dangerous Spark, and finally even one of his old warrior friends, the Soldier of Light. The proud warrior, ever the confident and cocky, never heeded the god’s warning, and as such, was unaware of the wisdom it held. 
Thus the once honorable warrior fell, trapped and tricked by those he once called his friends. As for what the god took? It was safe to say the dark-hearted warrior lost the one thing he fought for - his family. He waits now, with books filled with stories he once knew, even his own, as he tries to find a different ending. He writes and rewinds and thinks and wonders where it all went wrong. His chest feels empty yet his mind is full, thinking. 
One day, ever so slowly, he smiles.
The story isn’t over.
He still remembers the old god’s promise.
-----------------------------------------------
Dream huffed in the effort as he slammed his cuffs down against the rock in front of him, snapping the chains in two. He turned to sit, grabbing his sword to pry the ankle monitor off his right foot, tossing it angrily into the river below. Fizzles and smoke filled the air as the light on the monitor faded to darkness. Dream sighed in relief as he finally took a moment to breathe.
George’s eyes studied him from across the way, silent and thinking. He gently gripped the white mask in his hands, moving to sit on the ground next to his friend.
“Thank you for getting me out, no one would believe me-”
“Dream, please, there’s no need,” George answered honestly, his hand running over the mask’s detail. “But before we go anywhere, you need to give me answers. Real answers.” Brown eyes met Dream’s green, full of concern. “Please, just… tell me what’s going on - last I heard, Eret was King again, and now you’re in prison?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.” Green eyes lit up interest.
“Well, I was trying to keep an eye out for Tommy in exile, you know - staying out of trouble, making sure he wasn’t trying to escape, and just keeping him company. He’s just a kid, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“One day he just… snapped. He attacked me for no reason and ran off into the woods. I tried to follow him, I was so concerned but it was too late. Tommy spread rumors about me and said I was doing horrible things to him in exile. I tried and tried to get them to believe me but they didn’t. I even tried to use the discs to my favor but nothing worked, they cornered me, and… and…” Tears filled Dream’s eyes as George’s heart broke seeing his best friend like this. He moved to hug him tightly.
“Oh Dream, I’m so so sorry that happened.”
“Every-” Dream sniffled as he pulled away, trying to wipe away the tears. “Everyone turned against me - Punz, Bad… even Sapnap!”
“Sapnap?” George asked. “Sapnap believed Tommy over you?”
“I tried to get away, I tried to talk to him, I begged him to stop but he wouldn’t. He… he cornered me and made sure I wouldn’t get away, not until Tommy took away two of my lives.”
“Good gods.” George breathed. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve intervened sooner. But don’t worry, okay? We’ll talk to them, and-”
Dream shook his head as he took George’s hands in his. “George, no. I won’t have you suffer as I did.”
“But… but I’m sure if we talk to them together, they’ll listen.”
“George, no.” Dream moved to show off deep scarring across his chest, scarring that looked so fresh and so deep that George couldn’t help but gasp at the sight. His hand ghosted over the scarring as Dream winced in pain. With the number of strikes and injury on his friend’s body, George didn’t know how Dream was still standing, let alone alive. “This is what happened when I reasoned with them.”
“No, no they couldn’t have-!” Sure, L’manburg was a thorn on their side but even George knew they weren’t this brutal. They couldn’t be. None of this made sense, and yet the evidence was right in front of him. 
“George.” Dream’s eyes turned saddened as he cupped his best friend’s cheek, making George freeze. “Please. I don’t want you to get hurt or chased or go through what I did. I know that they used to be our friends, but they’re not anymore. They’ve changed, and I don’t think they’re going to change back. We need to stick together, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
George remembered how weird Sapnap had been acting when he’d brought up Dream last week - he called him a traitor and almost threw his mask in the fire to burn before George managed to snatch it away. Sapnap was on the verge of tears as he argued with him for hours, yelling and even screaming at him. George defended his friend who wasn’t even there to defend himself, which only seemed to stroke the flames. The last thing his best friend said to him before they weren’t on speaking terms was said in front of the old Community House, their old home that they shared, Sapnap pointing an accusing finger at him. 
“When are you going to wake up and realize that everything Dream said was a lie, that he doesn’t care about any of us, that he was never our friend, huh?! Because I’m tired of you excusing what he’s done to everyone just because you think you know who he is! You’re more than just colorblind, George - You’re delusional!” Regret flashed across Sapnap’s face as he realized what he said. “...George, wait, I-”
George angrily brushed past him with enough force to knock his friend to the floor, tears running down his cheeks that he tried to hide. “Save it.”
“You do trust me, don’t you George?” Dream’s eyebrows were furrowed in worry as he looked to his friend in concern. George looked up to his best friend with a smile, his heart feeling warm and content. He knew he was right. Sapnap was the one who didn’t care, who betrayed, who let this happen to his best friend, who let Tommy kill him. He was the real traitor. Not Dream.
“Of course I trust you. Why wouldn’t I?”
------------------------------------------------
As the crown was placed upon his head, George couldn’t help but feel happy. The crowd quickly applauded as George moved to stand in front of his throne in the castle, facing his people. Not a great turnout but still a turnout at that - Slimecicle and Foolish sat in front, Hbomb and Hannah sat behind them. Ranboo stood near the back, his expression blank and his body unmoving from where it stood near the doorway. Purpled looked over the scene in interest as he leaned against the stone wall in the back, arms crossed. 
“Now, may I present the newest King of the Dream SMP, George!”
As the applause quieted down, he began to speak. “Thanks to all of you for coming. I know the past few weeks have been tough and confusing on everyone, but I want to assure you that I will do my best to keep all of you safe and sound. As you may have heard, traitors are among us in our peaceful server. Traitors who mask as allies and attack unprovoked and unpredictably.” Murmurs of interest picked up from the small crowd. “Now, no need to cause a panic. My knights and I will round them up and-“
“Actually, my King, there’s no need to worry. I’ve already taken care of the problem.” Dream reassured his friend with a smile. “I banned them all late last night and double-checked this morning. They’re gone for good.”
George looked over to his friend at his side. “I thought I told you I’d handle this, you’ve been through enough.”
“You’ve done so much for me, George. You’re my best friend. I’m just repaying the favor.” Dream got down on one knee in a bow, speaking humbly. George tilted his head up as he looked down fondly.
“It’s what friends do, Dream.” He held out his hand as Dream took it and he pulled him to his feet. “Thank you for doing that, just please tell me next time you’re doing something big, okay?”
“I will, George.” Dream smiled as George turned back to the crowd.
“In recent news, the traitor problem has been dealt with-“
“So that’s just it then, they’re gone?” Purpled piped up from the back. “No trial, no justice?”
George’s gaze turned fierce. “They’ve provided enough evidence to put them away for life.”
“One of the ‘traitors’ you’re talking about, Punz? I know him. He’s my friend. He’s loyal, he was loyal to you, Dream. I know he would never do something like that.”
Dream scoffed. “Loyal. He sure seemed plenty loyal when he held that ax up to my throat-!”
“You liar-!” Purpled snapped before George’s voice boomed throughout the room. 
“Enough!” George shouted. “No more arguing. Purpled, Dream was the one and only key witness we have for any of the events that transpired, and the markings on his chest are evidenced enough for his claims. It’s all we have to go on, and as far as I’m aware, it’s the truth. Punz was one of the people who nearly took Dream’s final life.” George’s hand found its way into Dream’s, squeezing it for strength. “So as far as I’m concerned, the ban won’t be lifted. Understood?”
Purpled scoffed, taking a breath. “Fine.” 
“I know it can be hard to believe, but people change.” George closed his eyes briefly, taking a breath, his mind still struggling to wrap his head around it all. “Sometimes… sometimes it’s just not for the better.” 
“But,” Dream began. “We have each other now.” He smiled warmly as he looked down across the crowd. “That’s all that matters. Finally, the server can be at peace. Finally, we can be one big happy family.”
“...no…” Heads turned toward the back of the room towards Ranboo, sizzling filling the air as a tear slid down his cheek. Dream tilted his head in interest as George just looked over, confused. “No… no no no no…” Ranboo fell to his knees as his breathing quickened.
“Ranboo..?” Hbomb looked over toward the teen, concerned at the sudden change. He slowly moved over as Ranboo’s body shook violently with sobs. “Ranboo, it’s okay.”
“No no no it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault-“ Ranboo whimpered, before moving to snatch Hbomb’s arm quickly as if he just realized he could move freely. “I’m a traitor, aren’t I? I’m the real traitor, I betrayed everyone, it’s all my fault!“
HBomb, startled, pulled away from his grip as he backed up, and Foolish helped him stand, noticing the red irritated marks on H’s forearm. Charlie and Foolish exchanged glances as he approached. “Ranboo, I think you need to calm down, man.”
Ranboo rushed to his feet, launching himself toward Charlie as he stumbled and fell, the glasses-wearing slime boy catching him. “We’re all trapped, everyone’s trapped, oh gods we’re all gonna die-” Ranboo’s eyes looked a mixture of panicked and scared, and Charlie gently lowered both of them to the floor. 
“Okay, let’s just sit down and take a deep breath-“
Tears streamed down Ranboo’s face, trailing burn marks he didn’t seem to even notice. “No no no no no no no it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault-”
“He really must’ve been messed up from yesterday - I don’t blame him, breaking me out of that hell wasn’t easy. Poor thing must be hysterical.” Dream’s voice cut through the crowd as he slowly approached, George following close behind.
“No no no no no no…” Ranboo practically whimpered, shaking violently on the floor, unaware of Dream’s presence before Dream silently knelt next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He went completely silent as his shoulders tensed.
“I think you should get some sleep. You need to relax, it’s okay Ranboo.” Ranboo slowly turned to face Dream in silent terror as Dream moved to gently hold his hand in his own. “It’s all okay now. We won.” Dream smiled warmly, moving to hug Ranboo tightly, his body beginning to relax once more under his touch.
“No…” The enderman whispered so quietly it could barely be heard.
“Come on, let me help you upstairs, you can rest up there for now and later I can help you get back to your base.”
“Yes.” His voice was dull as it had been mere minutes prior to his breakdown. Hannah looked on the scene, concerned and confused - the prison did this? To Ranboo?
As they passed, Purpled caught how emotionless Ranboo’s expression became, which only confirmed what he already feared - something was definitely wrong here. Whatever it was, he was going to figure it out, one way or another.
-------------------------------------------------
Dream pressed in the six-digit key code from memory quickly, the metal door opening at his command as he stepped through, grabbing a torch to light his way. He pressed on past the signs that read ‘DANGER: CONSTRUCTION ZONE’ or ‘CAUTION: DEATH AHEAD’. He had it all planned out perfectly. They’d never figure it out, he’d make sure of it. Finally, he was in control again - just the way it was meant to be. No more stupid countries or annoying kids ruining everything.
The compact hallway opened up to a dimly lit obsidian room. Beds lined either wall with medical equipment, machines. Dream passed by his old friends, his old companions, his traitors, all hooked up to drips to make sure they didn’t starve, he didn’t want them to die, of course - he wasn’t a monster. They all slept peacefully next to each other, surrounded by an aura of white light. A barrier even he couldn’t cross. 
A voice erupted in his head, one he hadn’t heard in quite a while. “Do you regret any of this? At all?” Dream stopped for a moment, looking around until he noticed the proclaimed god sitting on top of the enderchest at the end of the room. XD looked around at the beds, distanced. 
“No, why should I?”
“Hm, well…” XD began, hopping off the chest to look over at a sound asleep Captain Puffy, reaching through the barrier to fondly brush a bit of hair out of her face. “You’re going insane, for one.” Dream glanced over at the god who paid him no mind. “You messed up last time, your perfect plan didn’t work, and yet… you’re doing it again. Throwing away people, friendships-”
“HA!” Dream laughed dryly. “You really think all of that was real?”
“We both know it was.” 
“...” Dream paused, looking over at XD coldly. “Then you’re just as stupid as they are.”
-----------------------------------
Once upon a time there was an enderman prince named Ranboo. He escaped the terrible fate that befell his own kingdom for a hefty price - a memory curse. The enderboy woke up in the promised land of opportunity with no one and no place to call home. He was welcomed with open arms and given friendship and a place to call his own. Along the way, he met a boy with his heart on his sleeve, a soldier fallen from grace, a fox who searched for the truth in others instead of himself, an old war-ridden tyrant with a taste for power, and two protectors of the people - one who witnessed millions of deaths, and one who caused them. Slowly, with each new passing day, Ranboo built a house, and then a home.
Seeing the boy’s power, the corrupted warrior sought to control and use it for himself. The prince heard gods speak to him through walls he could not escape from if he tried, and, as many before him, slowly went mad as he fell into the dark warrior’s whims. He lied to himself to grant him peace of mind and restore his sanity, yet it only prolonged the inevitable. He should have known how uncomfortably easy the pieces fell into place. He should have told someone. He should have tried to stop it, before it was too late.
He shouldn’t have ignored what was right in front of him. 
Maybe then, just maybe, the story could’ve had a different ending.
Ranboo knew the story of it all. He knew it was supposed to be the end, it was all supposed to end. They were all supposed to live happily ever after. Everyone was finally happy - Tommy had his hotel, Tubbo was looking over Snowchester, Wilbur and Schlatt were back, Sam was working on the prison, and they were finally beginning to break through and help those under that stupid Egg’s influence.
He remembered what happened too well - how Dream looked at him and trapped him with his trident when he tried to run away on the roof of the prison. He looked down and noticed the TNT in his hands, he remembered dropping it in shock as Dream just laughed. ‘Looks like somebody finally figured it out.’ He was so scared he couldn’t move, he could barely muster the energy to scream as Dream simply tilted his head like so and it was all over. He remembered trying to scream for Tubbo, Phil, Technoblade - someone, anyone at all.
But no one came.
Dream’s laughter still doesn’t leave his head as he sits in his own body, almost watching a movie, his eyes always forced wide open. Each hour of each day he spent practically glued to Dream’s side. He told him he would act as his guard - protecting both Dream and his little secret. On the fifth day he couldn’t stomach the panic much anymore and ended up making himself vomit, which Dream quickly fixed by shoving a potion bottle in his mouth, a potion to forcibly keep him from vomiting, and going about his day. More potions. More drugs. More to numb the pain. 
But the pain didn’t stop. He wanted it to stop.
Ranboo wanted to scream, he wanted to tell Purpled and Foolish what happened to him with that man standing right there, what really happened to the others, but all he could say was ‘yes’ and ‘no’. He felt like a traitor, and in a way he was - he helped Dream escape, he helped that monster escape and hurt so many people, it was all his fault. He wanted to fix this. He needed to fix this. Why couldn’t he just wake up?! Now, walking down the rows of beds lining the walls, he focused on trying to remember the stories. He had to, so if he ever escaped this hell of a prison he could be of some use to the others, they needed to know. His own voice echoed in his mind.
‘Once upon a time there were two orphans who cared for and loved each other…a king obsessed with gold…a woman surrounded by death…two friends known throughout the kingdom as famous thieves…a man left with no memories of his past or his lover…a boy with no mother or father, working under his stepfather and two horrible stepbrothers… a kid who owned a cow and dreamed of adventure…’
Once upon a time, the end was only the beginning.
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fandom-sheep · 3 years
Text
Capt. Puffy and BadBoyHalo 25 APR 21
Delayed Liveblogging Red Banquet Part 1/1
I’m not mentally prepared for this
But Eret looks awesome and I’m glad they decided to ride the red armor horse.
We’re nervous too.
Also Fundy casually wearing just plain armor.
I’m dual weilding streams now.
Bads got some good music going.
I’m going to primarily watch Puffy’s POV but I’m also watching Bad because I refuse to miss anything.
Ponk and Ant are there wondering where everyone is. Everyone is watching Eret spin on a horse.
Oh Niki!
Oh Sam!
I love how some went all out and got new skins while others just, threw on some armor.
Oh. Everyone’s finally wandering in.
I’m going to mostly listen to Bad never mind. I feel listening to the most main character ish character would be smart.
Ah water. Sketchy.
This is too hospitable for my liking.
Niki seems impressed.
Everyone claiming to be 6’3” wow.
I’m still in love with the fact that Eret’s and Foolish’s outfits do match those from that one fan art.
Oh look at Fundy all dressed up.
I look away for one second and Sam is in a cauldron.
There is too much funny stuff happening for lore.
Finally making there way to the dance floor. Nice.
Bad’s end is so far behind where I am watching Puffys.
Forget it. I’ll watch Puffy’s uneless something interesting happens.
Everything does look nice.
Foolish. Please don’t make this too cursed. Please.
Thick Cider. Mhm.
*noises of disappointment in cursed lore*
Has no one met Fundy? They are surprised he robbed the outfit.
Eret so proud of her dress.
Oh wait George is here for the Lore and he is on time. Impressive.
Sam isn’t wearing pants... that is a good point. Oh off he goes.
This is just a series of insulting each other in fancy outfits. There is no lore. Only mild chaos.
Are we having a maid bit? Yep we are having a cat maid hbomb bit.
We’re just sitting her insulting one another.
Dinner! I’m also trying to add tags to this with everyone who is here and this is going to be hard.
Puffy also sitting at the head of the table. That’s probably symbolic.
Look at Foolish go... look at that totem go.
Oh look the King is speaking. Oh monarch?
Eret’s skin just looks so good. I can’t get over it.
Everyone taking turns sharing at the banquet like kids introducing themselves at the start of an event.
Oh no. Puffy is going.
Road trip plays in the background.
Oh George. Fundy cheering for being asleep.
Beat flavored soup. Wow. Free range beet. I would say that.
Who is throwing eggs? I recognize that sound effect.
Bad. You are talking yourself into a hole.
I know dramatic speeches and I did not like those pauses.
Whoa Whoa Whoa. Lava Wall.
We leaving the leaf.
HBomb is sizzling.
Oh. They planned for her plan.
This feels like a chaotic show.
WAIT HANNAH! I FORGOT THE EGG GOT HER!
No. No main event.
How many other plans are there?!?! This feels like such a strange episode.
Oh? Attempted egg splosion.
We knew that wouldn’t work after Quackity’s attempt.
Well... it was a good try.
Wait executions! There aren’t enough cannon lives here for executions.
Oh Eret! Speaking up.
You go your majesty.
He might have been the original traitor but he did get to grow.
Oh please don’t sacrifice Eret.
Oh Fundy sounds so distraught.
Oh wow Fundy and Niki saying exactly the same thing.
I do not like this.
Ah the totem has yeeted the Rolex.
Yes Lightning!
Oh they planned for that. he revealed his skills and they planned for it.
*distressed sounds*
Wow Eret is ready to die first so Foolish doesn’t have to.
And they swapped spots.
No. Quit manipulating. We don’t need another manipulation arc.
I’m getting chills from all this.
NOOOOO
Canon Life’s Lose so far: 1
Bop Bop Bop. Another one bites the dust.
Oh. Quackity.
Sup Quackity.
Eret you aren’t streaming quit blocking the view.
Go duck man go.
How did Quackity get in again? I missed that somehow?
The Rolex. Quit with the mild comedy! We’re over here crying and y’all are throwing a Rolex.
Oh no! What army.
FREAKING TECHNOBLADE!
AND THE HOUNDS!
Alright. Waiting for the dogs to come is an acceptable comedic distraction.
Techno is terrifying.
Oh Purpled. And kiddo has a nice suit.
Techno and Quackity’s fans are going to go nuts.
Look at Puffy go.
Good job gal.
Look at that hound army go.
All the cannon lives being lost.
Don’t go for him?
Oh Purpled go. That ok.
Poor Fundy sounds so stressed.
Techno in character going “IDK who that is”
Oh rats. They got out.
Another prison. Why is that our solution to everything.
Ive pulled Bad’s POV up again, but I’ve got ads.
Oh. Bad sounds sad. And his chat is spamming dream...
And he has sad music.
Everyone being an unreliable narrator here.
Oh bad boating away.
While everyone talking about containing the egg.
Oh Bad’s ending on a sad note.
People talking about plot armor. Eret has been here since Early L’manberg and he still has all cannon lives.
Well. Bad ended and everyone else is stressing.
Digging out. Everyone so done with all that.
Aww. No more parties...
Hooray Air!
Oh. Stew.
Oh Puffy honey.
Her child was killed in front of her. Killed her friends. There is a crisis.
The others dinking around just out of and just in frame aren’t helping the moment.
Oh. We lost a doggies. Sadness.
Sorry wait Puffy is doing heart hurting stuff.
Go find your boy honey.
Oh wait we’re ending.
Well... that was something.
Can someone else go live and just kinda chill on the smp out of character please? Just so there is a little less whiplash of streams ending.
Anyway. That was really good and I like all the characters being involved. Didn’t feel like anyone was too out of place between speeches and just the hanging out at the beginning.
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