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schmokschmok · 3 years

Text

live forever in the stars

As authors for the @avatar-rarepair-exchange-2021 have been revealed, I’m three hundred exlamation marks in a trenchcoat to share the fic I wrote for @zukkaclawthorne!

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Relationships: Suki x Yue, Suki & Ty Lee (minor: Zuko x Sokka, Ty Lee x Mai)

Characters: Suki, Yue, Ty Lee, Sokka, Zuko (and a few more)

Wordcount: 9099 (3 x 3033)

Tags:

No Archives Warnings Apply

Alternate Universe - Modern

Weddings

Fake/Pretend Relationship (emphasis on fake)

Queerplatonic Relationships

Summary:

Then Yue leans close into Suki’s personal space (Suki catches her breath) and continues in a conspiratorial whisper: “This is actually Sokka’s second wedding. We were married in kindergarten for like half a day before I decided boys were icky and he found out girls have cooties.” She laughs, and Suki falls a little in love with her right then and there.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29060613

CN: alcohol, food (mentioned); briefly discussed acemisia (not graphic)

Before opening the door of the car she’s sitting in, Suki casts a glance towards the small group of people waiting in front of the karaoke bar. Katara, Azula, Aang, Toph, and, of course, Zuko and Sokka are standing close together, their hands shoved into their pockets and already leaning towards going in.

Ty Lee has exited the car and, before Suki can get a chance to reach for the handle, Ty Lee is pulling it open for her, taking a step back to make room for Suki to get up and extending her hand for Suki to grab. She asks with a giggle: “What are you waiting for?”

“I wasn’t waiting for anything,” Suki replies while letting Ty Lee help her out of the car and onto her two feet, and it’s kind of true. It’s not like she’s been expecting anything to happen, really, it’s more that she was hit unexpected and hard by a sudden dread of getting back to the others which doesn’t really make sense considering the fact that she knows and loves most of the people attending the afterparty.

Ty Lee lets go of her and closes the door before locking the car and turning towards their friends with a little twirl of her dress. The heels of her shoes come down hard onto the asphalt of the parking lot and echoes between the cars, and for a moment Suki is incapable of doing anything other than admire the outfit Ty Lee put together and the poise she’s pulling it off with. Everyone, Suki thinks, put so much effort into their appearance and they look like the feature section of a fashion magazine.

Self-consciously, Suki’s fingers start tugging at her obi and she tries to sneak a peek at the orange obi-jime wrapped around her waist, fearing that the car ride might have distraught her outfit. It’s not very likely but seeing them all in their post wedding glory makes her worry, nonetheless.

“You look a-ma-zing,” Ty Lee says, emphasising her words by grabbing Suki’s hand again to keep her from fussing over her appearance. “Like, why wouldn’t you?” The palm of her hand is dry and warm in Suki’s, and Suki immediately feels a whole lot better.

“I’m just a little,” Suki pauses to think of a neutral word to describe what she’s feeling, “self-conscious, I guess. I forgot they would change into tuxes.” While her head nods in the direction of Sokka and Zuko, her voice is as low as possible to avoid letting the others hear the uncertainty in her words. “The only other one wearing traditional clothing is Azula, and I never thought I would have anything in common with Azula, you know?”

“Oh, hun, it’s okay,” Ty Lee replies and she’s really one to talk in her bubble-gum pink cocktail dress and matching cardigan, “Mai’s, like, going to wear furisode, too.”

“Mai’s not here and she’s conveniently skipping the first party as well,” Suki says, slightly disgruntled.

“It’s totally not her fault, her plane’s, like, delayed,” Ty Lee says softly. “She’s not mad about missing karaoke, though, you’re right.” She giggles. “Whatever, you still got me, seriously, I’m your plus one, right?”

There’s no such thing as a plus one, they both had to show their invitations – names printed neatly in small capital letters on the bottom half – to enter the reception while handing over their wedding gifts – Suki’s in an elaborately decorated envelope with her name written on it, Ty Lee’s in a plain red envelope with her and Mai’s names on it. But the thought of a plus one is nice, and as long as Mai is absent, Suki can at least bask in the thought of Ty Lee as her partner in crime tonight.

“Yeah, you are,” Suki says and tightens her grip on Ty Lee’s hand. “Too bad you’ll leave me as soon as Mai gets here.”

“You’ll survive, for sure,” Ty Lee retorts, giggling, and pulls Suki into the karaoke bar. The twilit, cold street is exchanged for the warmth and clean-cut light of the interior. Azula has fallen back a few steps as if she were waiting for Ty Lee and Suki, but Suki’s not at all sure if Azula would ever do such a thing, and the unhappy line of Azula’s mouth is no help at all.

“Azula!” Ty Lee exclaims cheerfully, the glee in her voice only surpassed by the joyousness of her smile. She even steps up a notch to reach Azula faster.

“Ty Lee,” Azula greets, then her gaze falls onto Suki as if now were the first time she noticed Suki at all. “Suki.” The movement of her head could almost pass for a nod in greeting and Suki chooses to interpret it as such. (She’s a little reminded of Mai – stoic faced and hard to read Mai. Suki’s not sure why and how Ty Lee keeps on being friends with people obviously emanating the absolute antithesis of herself, but it’s something Suki’s trying to adjust to ever since she came to know Ty Lee.)

“It’s, like, totally bitchin’, right?” Ty Lee asks, throwing her free arm over Azula’s shoulder and forcing her to duck. “Our first wedding is like: done, done, done!” She’s accentuating every done with a punch into the air, forcing Suki to do it too, their hands still clasped together.

Even though Suki doesn’t always believe Ty Lee’s claims that she holds a special place in Azula’s heart, it’s moments like this, moments in which Azula lets Ty Lee rope her into soft embraces and excited hugs, that almost convince Suki that underneath Azula’s unaffectionate and rough exterior lies something akin to a friend. It’s nice to witness, seldom as it is.

“Very,” Suki agrees when Azula only rolls her eyes at Ty Lee’s antics.

“It’s hardly our wedding,” Azula states bluntly, but the dry tone of her voice is betrayed by the way she’s still willingly trapped underneath Ty Lee’s arm.

Ty Lee pouts ostentatiously, before pulling Azula closer and quickly pecking her on the cheek. Then she lets go of Azula and retorts cheerily: “The first wedding of our squad, whatever!”

Already opening her mouth, probably to say something rude, Azula takes a step back to put some distance between herself and Ty Lee and Suki. But Suki beats her to it and asks: “The others are waiting inside?”

“Very,” Azula replies, obviously mimicking the tone of voice Suki used a few seconds ago to answer Ty Lee. It remains unclear if it’s a friendly attempt at homage or a mean-spirited comment to rile Suki up.

“Awesome, let’s go!”

Ty Lee grabs Azula’s hand, too, and pulls both her and Suki towards the hallway leading to the different booths. Already past three doors on each side, she stops dead in her tracks, causing Azula and Suki to bump into her.

“Gals, I totally don’t know where to go,” Ty Lee admits sheepishly. “Which booth is ours?”

Sighing, Azula walks around Ty Lee and beelines further down the hallway until she reaches the right door, Suki and Ty Lee trailing right behind her. When they enter the booth, their friends have already started rafting through the song selection. Chatter fills the room, and nobody really pays them any mind.

Suki didn’t expect many more people to be in the room, but it’s not only the small group that attended the reception after the wedding with the grooms’ family, but also a few people Suki has never met before. It’s still a fairly small wedding party, Suki thinks, sitting down beside Ty Lee who is still holding onto her hand and chose a seat next to a beautiful woman in a red dress that Suki has never seen before.

“June!” Ty Lee throws her arm over June’s shoulders, and Suki experiences the weirdest kind of déjà vu. It could be either the way June ducks her head and draws her shoulders up under Ty Lee’s excited embrace or the way her mouth forms an unhappy line akin to Azula’s. (Suki makes a mental note to ask Ty Lee if being emotionally unavailable is a requirement to become friends with her and if so, why Ty Lee decided to befriend Suki anyways.) “It’s, like, so good to see you!”

Either Ty Lee wore them down over the time of their friendship or every single one of her stoic friends is severely touch-deprived, there’s no other way Suki can explain the fact that all of them just take Ty Lee’s willingness to touch everyone at any given time with such stride. June looks like someone who could and would break the arm of someone touching her unsolicited.

While June and Ty Lee start to catch up on their lives (or rather: while Ty Lee catches June up on her life and June provides a few strategically placed quips), Suki lazily starts to inspect the other people in the room. Sokka and Zuko are squeezed in between Katara and Azula at the head of the table, in perfect view of the TV mounted to the wall. The only person separating Azula and Ty Lee is June who is either not acquainted with Azula or demonstratively turning her back to her.

Katara and Aang lean over the tablet, punching in the first drink orders while Sokka tries to tap on the screen, apparently to support a point he’s making – whatever that may be.

Leaning back in boredom, Toph chews on a chocolate bar as if they hadn’t been dining less than an hour ago. Almost sitting directly opposite of Suki and softly talking to Toph is a not-quite-stranger that Suki has seen at the reception but has never talked to. Taking the few uninterrupted seconds she gets before Katara is going to ask either her or the stranger for their order, Suki looks as discreet as possible at them.

Now that Suki is actually sitting somewhat close to them, she can see the white, fan-shaped dangling earrings and the little silver studs above them, a crescent moon on the left ear and three tiny stars on the right. A smile gentle as low tide plays around their lips and makes the skin next to their brown eyes crinkle. Their hair, bleached to a silvery white, is pulled towards the crown of their head, held together by a hairpiece in the same shade of blue as their dress and separated into two braids. Another two braids frame her face, also adorned with blue hair pieces. Somewhere between leaving the reception and sitting down at the table in the booth, they lost the shawl that had been draped over their shoulders.

In short: They are absolutely beautiful.

(The thing is that Suki is already cleaning up her act as best as she can because if she’s perfectly honest with herself, the first time she laid eyes upon the ethereal being on the other side of the table [or in the prior case, two tables over], the only thing she could think about was that this is fucking ridiculous. No one has any right to be this beautiful, especially when Suki’s heart is so desperately trying to get lost. – Suki didn’t have, no, still doesn’t have words to describe the visceral feeling evoked by them.)

When they turn their head and it becomes apparent that they could meet Suki’s eyes any moment, she lets her head fall onto Ty Lee’s shoulder, lifting their still intertwined hands up towards her lips so she can whisper in Ty Lee’s ear as inconspicuous as possible (she’s not at all sure if this makes as much sense as she thinks it does, probably not): “Ty Lee …?”

“Su-ki?” Ty Lee splits Suki’s name in two and stresses the last syllable, a soft singsong in her voice. Her head drops on top of Suki’s and she’s talking almost as lowly as Suki.

Still hiding behind their raised hands, manoeuvred in front of Suki’s lips as if she were only moments from kissing Ty Lee’s knuckles, Suki groans as quiet as possible without losing the implications of her sever sufferings: “I’m very gay, did you know that? Just, uhm, very gay.”

Ty Lee giggles. “And this great revelation came to you because of, like, what?” Her nose brushes Suki’s hairline, and Suki can feel Ty Lee’s breath on her forehead. It tickles.

“Next to Toph,” Suki answers with an almost imperceptible nod towards the stranger. “Saw them at the reception, too. I think I am in love.”

Ty Lee retorts: “Big words coming from you.” And Suki’s not entirely sure if Ty Lee is poking fun at her or if she’s actually amazed at Suki’s pash. “The last time I heard you talking like that you were, like, totally smitten with Sokka.”

“Don’t remind me,” Suki groans. “I still can’t believe that was a thing that happened.”

“As if!” Ty Lee says heatedly as if she were required by law to defend Sokka because she never quite overcame her crush on him. “You seriously can’t say something like that at his wedding!”

With the back of her free hand, she gently slaps Suki’s thigh, and Suki can’t hold back a chuckle. In reconciliation, Suki backpedals hastily: “I didn’t mean it like that.” Now, she lifts their intertwined hands to her lips and presses a soft kiss on Ty Lee’s fingers. “Sometimes I kind of forget that Sokka and I used to date.” Then she realises the way her words could come off as. “Not in a bad way! Just … it’s been so long, and we’re really close friends. You know what I mean?”

Ty Lee makes a contemplating motion with her head and hums. Then, after a moment, she says light-heartedly: “Totally! To be honest, sometimes I’m, like, forgetting it, too. Like, it’s more like I can’t think of a time when Sokka and Zuko weren’t, like, dating and stuff, right?” Her face lights up. “They’re so married!”

Her last words overlap with Katara asking them for their order, dutifully typing in Suki’s beer and Ty Lee’s oolongcha.

“No Mugicha?” Katara asks distractedly.

Waving her free hand dismissively, Ty Lee replies: “DD for now, seriously, I totally need the caffeine, right.” A smile makes its way onto her face and Suki thinks it may be caused by a combination of two things: Firstly, that Ty Lee is only driving until Mai gets here and releases her from her sober duties, and secondly, that Ty Lee cannot wait anymore to see her girlfriend again who has been gone for almost a week. (Which, admittedly, is not a long time for most people. But Ty Lee is not most people and she almost started wailing half a day after Mai’s departure. Naturally, she had to do it in Suki’s flat, starfished across Suki’s living room floor, a couch pillow in hand to sob dramatically into every once in a while.)

The door opens, revealing the last two people awaited: Smellerbee and Pipsqueak. They sit down next to Suki and the stranger who briefly meets Suki’s eyes while scooting closer to Toph, a gentle smile on their lips. Suki can’t take it and averts her eyes. (She wants to talk to them, to know their name, what brought them here – besides, you know, the wedding –, if they are single and maybe even interested in girls – interested in Suki, by any chance.)

“Where did you leave Longshot and The Duke?” Aang asks, leaning over the table to face both Pipsqueak and Smellerbee.

“Longshot doesn’t sing,” Smellerbee says, shedding her jacket and draping it over the back of the bench seat.

Pipsqueak says: “The Duke’s gonna be at the club.” He grins, throwing a hello and the desire for a green tea into the room. Katara nods and punches his order into the tablet.

“What about Jet?” Aang asks, evoking laughter from both Pipsqueak and Smellerbee.

“Not invited,” Smellerbee cackles. “Jet says it’s because Sokka and Zuko would rethink getting married if he were present.”

A shocked gasp draws everyone’s attention to Sokka who’s hand is pressed against his chest in mock offence. He exclaims: “I would never rethink marrying Zuko!”

“I might,” Zuko pipes in, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Didn’t want to take any risks. And Sokka thought it’d be weird to have that many exes present.”

“It would be weird. The quota has been met,” Sokka says. “I’m gonna file for divorce right now if you could do with another ex in this room.”

Suki laughs quietly while assessing the people in the room. Either the grooms are referring to Mai and Suki or there is another ex present Suki has never heard of. And if Zuko didn’t magically date Katara without Suki noticing, it must be the gorgeous person in front of her. (Which, okay, on one hand opens up the possibility of them being hetero, but on the other hand clearly shows that they would date someone like Sokka or Zuko – which could mean that Suki has a chance.)

“Please don’t,” Zuko says, pulling Sokka closer to him, “divorce is too expensive. We don’t have that kind of money.”

When Sokka gasps again, Ty Lee hides her face in Suki’s hair, laughing about their antics. The grip on Suki’s hand tightens for a moment and Suki can’t suppress the warmth coiling in her abdomen because she loves Ty Lee with all her heart and soul.

Suki doesn’t know anymore why she was dreading coming here because with Ty Lee’s hand in hers, and the people she’s known for years surrounding her, this evening can’t be anything other than perfect. (Even if her singing skills are more subpar than sublime, she’s here to have fun. And the way Aang practically throws himself into the small space in front of the table after their drinks arrived and they clinked glasses with Sokka and Zuko, and performs like he’s trying to impress the jury of a talent show, she’s sure that fun will be the last thing missing in this room.)

“We’re, like, totally gonna duet the shit of them,” Ty Lee whispers and Suki barks out a laugh.

“Zlint!” Ty Lee exclaims right after stepping through the door of the karaoke bar, pulling Suki through with her. “We were totally bitchin’ it!”

“You did,” Suki agrees, not sure if her contribution to their duets is as major as Ty Lee’s. “But I think I lost every ability to can when you-know-who stepped up.”

The group spilling out of the karaoke bar behind them also includes Sokka who drapes his arm over Suki’s shoulders and singsongs: “I could still divorce Zuko, just say a word. I didn’t think my singing would convince you to get back together with me.”

“We’re not divorcing!” Zuko calls from where he’s standing with Toph and Azula, and Toph says something to Zuko and Azula that actually manages to make Azula smirk.

Before turning back to Suki and Ty Lee, Sokka yells back: “Let me live!” Then he continues in a moderated voice and a grin: “Sorry to disappoint, but apparently I am stuck with my husband. Forever! Oh, no!” His grin widens if that’s even possible.

At this point (not that it hadn’t been obvious from the start), they all know that Sokka just really, really likes to say that Zuko and he are married. (Suki remembers the days leading up to the wedding when Katara, Sokka and Hakoda made akutaq and invited Suki over to eat with them; the nervousness that Sokka wasn’t comfortable revealing to anyone other than Suki; the late-night talks on the kitchen floor after Katara and Hakoda had already gone to bed; the way Sokka had held her hand and asked lowly what if he doesn’t want to marry me anymore, what if he changed his mind? and the way she couldn’t hold back a chuckle, telling him that she has never ever met anyone who’s as smitten with someone as Zuko and that there is no way Zuko could have changed his mind.)

“What a waste,” Ty Lee giggles at the same time that Suki says: “We weren’t even talking about you, dork!”

Sokka blinks in astonishment. “Huh, you weren’t talking about me? How come, I mean, why?”

Ducking her head in an attempt to come off as inconspicuous, Suki replies: “Not everything’s revolving around you, you know.”

“It should,” Sokka retorts, feigning offence, and buries his head in Suki’s hair to demonstrate the severity of her invidiousness.

Ty Lee leans towards Sokka and stage whispers: “Suki has a crush.” Then she nods to the group of their remaining friends. Suki wishes the earth would open up and swallow her whole, this is not Sokka-relevant information material.

“Do not!” Suki gasps, right before Sokka yanks his head up to look in the direction Ty Lee has nodded. He searches the faces of their friends, apparently trying to sus out which of them Suki could find attractive. (As if any of them would play in the same league as Yue whose name Suki learnt right after she tentatively took hold of the microphone and a chorus proclaiming her name to cheer her on erupted. – Not that there’s anything wrong with the others, Suki’s just not interested in the little sister of her ex-boyfriend, or people like Aang or Smellerbee who are so much younger than her.)

Sokka doesn’t seem to have run through the same equation as her, because he grips her shoulders, making her face him, and whispers scandalised: “You’ve got a crush on my sister? Suki!”

“Oh, please,” Suki forces over her lips, “I don’t. I … Sokka, eww. What the fuck.”

He lets go of her shoulders, his own relaxed once again. Then he scratches his neck with an awkward grin plastered on his face and says: “Sorry?” But it sounds more like a question than an actual apology.

“Katara is like my little sister,” Suki continues, and Sokka holds up his palms in a display of defeat.

Ty Lee, the absolute traitor, waves her hand dismissively and chimes in: “No, no, Yue. Suki couldn’t take her eyes off of her, right, like at all.”

“Ty Lee!” Indignation in her voice, Suki lets go of Ty Lee’s hand and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I just think you should, like, so do something to prevent you from, like, totally wallowing in self-pity the next few weeks because you didn’t even try to, like, chat her up,” Ty Lee replies light-heartedly. “She’s either with Sokka or Zuko, so you can at least check if you’ve got, like, a chance or whatever.”

Even though it almost sounds reasonable when Ty Lee says it like that, Suki doesn’t want help from Sokka or Zuko. She wants to quietly marvel at Yue’s beauty – from afar. Maybe test the waters and introduce herself. The least she wants is Sokka inserting himself and trying to matchmake; actually, she doesn’t even want him knowing because the probability that he gets way too excited at the prospect that Suki could be dating again, puts way too much pressure on Suki. In the end, he’s going to annoy her relentlessly if she already talked to Yue and if Yue is as nice as he made her out to be (because Suki knows that Sokka is going to oversell Yue, and Suki is going to end up disappointed – either because Yue can’t live up to the picture Sokka painted or because Yue’s not interested in Suki at all).

“Oh,” Sokka says, surprising both Suki and Ty Lee with his lack of enthusiasm. “Yeah, I don’t know. Yue doesn’t really do the whole dating thing. Most of the time, at least.”

“Normally, Suki, like, doesn’t do it either,” Ty Lee reminds Sokka (as if it were necessary) before Suki has the chance to say something. (She’s not even sure what she could have said. Maybe that she’s glad. Maybe that this is terrible.) “They don’t even have to, like, date. This is a party; today is totally about getting people together. Guys, don’t be like that!” Ty Lee extends her arms and twirls, her bubble-gum pink skirt lazily fanning out. “Live a little!”

“Yeah, Sokka, live a little,” Aang exclaims and jumps onto Sokka’s back like a spider monkey, the popped collar of his decorated kuspuk hitting Sokka’s ear. (Suki desperately prays that nobody listened to their full exchange. This is humiliating.)

Instinctively, Sokka grabs the hollows of Aang’s knees and laughs. He yells: “I’m living, okay, I am absolutely living my best life!”

Aang wraps his arms around Sokka’s neck and chortles: “Good! Now, go on, o my majestic horse, carry me towards the party!” His heels dig into Sokka’s hips and Sokka attempts to throw Aang off his back, but he’s not serious about it and starts to walk towards Aang’s van.

“Did you just call me a stud?” Sokka asks smugly, adjusting his grip again.

“Well, I didn’t call you a dobbin,” Aang concedes, startling a laugh out of Zuko, Toph, Ty Lee and Suki. “Now, go! Come on, let’s get this party started!”

But instead of going on, Sokka comes to a halt and turns back to them. After an accessing look over their group, he says: “We didn’t think this through, gentlepeople.”

“Why?” Katara asks, also taking a look at everyone as if she were able to find out what Sokka’s on about.

“The Mystery Machine doesn’t have space for so many people,” Sokka says, furrowing his brow.

Ty Lee shakes her head chidingly and chimes in: “Oh, whatever, Yue can, like, totally ride with us!” Suki almost loses it at the sight of Ty Lee’s shit-eating grin, but she reigns herself in because she doesn’t want Yue to think that she’s dissatisfied with Yue. Literally biting her tongue, Suki can see the winks Ty Lee and Sokka exchange before Sokka turns back to walking to Aang’s van, the rest of their group except for Suki, Yue and Ty Lee trailing after him.

You’re on thin fucking ice, Suki tries to convey through a hard gaze in Ty Lee’s direction, but Ty Lee just smiles at her as if she weren’t aware of her treachery.

When Yue opens her mouth to say something, Ty Lee exclaims: “I’m gonna go get the car, seriously, don’t move!” And then she’s gone.

“That was … weird,” Yue says, both eyebrows raised, but with the same smile she displayed on various occasions this evening.

Suki chuckles nervously and replies: “Yeah, she’s a weird one, our Ty Lee.” She has absolutely no idea why she said this; something that makes her sound like an elderly lady talking about the ‘special interests’ of her grandchildren. But Ty Lee is already too far away for Suki to find safety in following her without looking like a fool, so Suki remains rooted to the spot, averting her eyes before remembering that it’s kind of rude to ignore Yue.

“So,” Yue says unexpectedly, taking two or three steps to get into Suki’s general vicinity, “you’re Suki?”

“Yeah, I must be,” Suki replies but the uptilt of her voice at the end implies a question, so she corrects herself: “I mean, yes, I’m Suki. And you’re Yue.” At least she didn’t say something like and who might you be? Maybe there is mercy somewhere in the universe.

Yue, however, doesn’t seem to be bothered about Suki’s inability to talk to her. Instead, she pulls her shawl tighter around her shoulders and crosses her arms in front of her chest, and confirms: “Yes, that’s true.”

For a moment, they stand a mere metre apart, awkward silence encompassing them. Suki shifts her weight from one foot to the other and throws a glance towards their car, but there is no trace of Ty Lee even though their car is clearly in Suki’s line of vision. The traitor.

Yue drags one of her feet over the asphalt and a group of strangers walks past them. Suddenly, Yue’s much closer than before, probably because she got out of the way of the group. They look at each other and Yue breaks their silence with a question: “So … how did Ty Lee and you meet?”

This is not something Suki anticipated or expected. Normally, the first thing people ask of her is not … Ty Lee of all things. It’s not even that Suki can’t talk about Ty Lee – oh, she definitively could for hours – but when the first thing a beautiful woman asks is about the person you’re with, then the message is pretty clear, isn’t it? Yue is much more interested in Ty Lee than Suki. (This somewhat eases the tension in Suki’s abdomen because the focus shifts from her onto Ty Lee. But Suki also realises that she wouldn’t be interested in herself right now. She didn’t even manage to form one measly, coherent sentence since she’s been left alone with Yue. Why would Yue think of her as an acceptable conversationalist?)

“A few friends of mine and I founded a tessenjutsu group,” Suki says, longing for the wide pockets of her pants to bury her hands in. “After a couple of months, Ty Lee stumbled upon one of our flyers and joined our group.” The story is much less exciting than most people think. “Sokka and Zuko actually met at one of our show fights.”

“Oh! Sokka told me about that,” Yue replies, even though she doesn’t seem quite satisfied with Suki’s answer. “We used to talk much more, but sometimes life gets in the way.”

Her gaze turns melancholic and for a moment she averts her eyes, lost in thought. Then she blinks deliberately and changes the topic: “I only knew Katara and Aang before coming here. I hadn’t even met Zuko before which is pretty awkward if you ask me. This is the first wedding I’ve been to where I didn’t know both spouses to be.”

“Where did you meet them before?” Suki asks and it’s not the best phrasing because the wedding is so small (as is custom, but nonetheless), but she’s confident that Yue’s going to know what she means.

“Katara, Sokka, Aang, and I grew up in the same neighbourhood,” Yue answers, then she leans close into Suki’s personal space (Suki catches her breath) and continues in a conspiratorial whisper: “This is actually Sokka’s second wedding. We were married in kindergarten for like half a day before I decided boys were icky and he found out girls have cooties.” She laughs, and Suki falls a little in love with her right then and there. “But right before elementary school my family moved away. We corresponded until we were old enough to get phones.”

Yue doesn’t move out of Suki’s space again and Suki takes this as a sign and decides: She won’t be the embodiment of the useless wlw trope, she’s going to be a functional bi. She can do this. Just flirt with the pretty lady, Suki, come on!

“It’s a real shame that we didn’t attend the same kindergarten,” Suki says and in the very moment she continues, she thinks that this is probably not the right way to flirt, this is probably the worst way to flirt with someone who’s technically a stranger, but she can’t stop herself from talking, “you could have married me to get back at him.”

Suki’s not sure where she’s taking the courage from but she’s reaching for Yue’s elbow and touches it briefly to emphasise her point. (Maybe Ty Lee’s already rubbing off on her, terrible.)

“Emily Chen proposed to me a week later and I think we never filed for divorce,” Yue says, voice full of mischief. “I’m a married woman, it seems.”

“Scandalous,” Suki gasps in fake outrage. “If I had a nickel for every time I was rejected by a married person, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.”

Yue hides her mouth behind her hand, but Suki can still see the way her eyes crinkle at the corners. “Who could have rejected you?” An almost imperceptible blush spreads over her cheeks and Suki thinks that maybe she does have a chance with Yue.

“Sokka,” Suki jokes. “Or rather: Zuko did the rejecting for him. – Now that I think about it, it’s even weirder that it happened twice in one day, in like a really, really short amount of time.”

They laugh, and Suki catches sight of Ty Lee’s head that pops up behind a car right next to theirs. Redirecting her gaze onto Yue’s face, she says: “It seems like Ty Lee has finally remembered where we parked the car.”

As if on cue, Yue takes a step back, right out of Suki’s personal space into her own. As if she remembered that they’re not entirely alone; that they’re still out in the open on some street, Ty Lee only a few metres away.

“That’s good,” Yue says, the tone of her voice rather detached and distanced, and the line of her shoulders less relaxed than before. The engine of the car starts up and Yue turns towards the street. The awkward silence embraces them once again, and Suki wonders when, where and in what way she could have offended the universe to deserve such discomfort.

When Ty Lee pulls the car over, Suki reaches for the handle of the pillion seat because she thinks it could come off as flirty if she holds open the door for Yue. But when she opens the door, the seat is already taken: Apparently, Ty Lee thought it would be rather clever to move every little thing the car contains onto the front passenger’s seat to keep Suki and Yue from sitting in the front. The smile she displays would seem apologetic to most people, but Suki knows that Ty Lee is absolutely incapable of feeling remorse. (Well, okay, not entirely.)

“Sorry!” Ty Lee exclaims, motioning towards the backseat. “There’s still, like, plenty of room in the back, right?”

“Is that so?” Sukis asks at the same moment that Yue says: “No problem!”

Ty Lee sends a prompting gaze Suki’s way, and Suki closes the car door, already reaching for the backdoor without looking for it. Her hand brushes Yue’s and for a second her heart and head short-circuit. They let go of the handle, and Suki takes a step back to make room for Yue. Both utter an apology, and Suki can see out of the corner of her eye that Ty Lee suppresses laughter, only semi-successful.

Risking a second attempt, Suki reaches for the handle again and pulls the door open, outlandishly sweeping a curtsey (or rather: trying and failing at a curtsey and flapping her arm in a hopefully graceful manner). She adds: “After you!”

Yue smiles and shakes her head but climbs into the car without further ado. Suki slides in after her, catching sight again of Ty Lee’s shit-eating grin. (Now is not the time to think about it in great detail but she will definitely get back at Ty Lee for this stunt. If she’s persistent enough, she might even rope Mai into it. The probability of the latter happening is … not too high, but Suki likes to shoot for galaxies hoping that she hits a few stars on the way.)

“Your sense of orientation must be pretty bad,” Yue says. Then she gasps at her own words, clapping her hands in front of her mouth. “I’m sorry, I just mean: We could have walked to the car together, then you wouldn’t have gotten lost.”

Not trusting herself to keep it together and from straight up calling Ty Lee out in front of Yue or melt at the naïve sweetness that Yue emanates, Suki bites her tongue.

“I totally didn’t think of that, like, at all,” Ty Lee responds, sugary innocence resonating in her words. “That would have been such a help. I got totally lost in the parking lot.”

You did not!, Suki mouths and she’s pretty sure that Ty Lee has seen her, because she starts to giggle on the front seat again. Leaning her head against the headrest, Suki says: “We’re gonna take a photo of the parking spot, so we don’t magically lose the car again.”

Suki is really doing her best, okay. She held open the car door for Yue and tripped Ty Lee on their way into the club; she asked Yue what she would like to drink and then went to the bar to buy her that very drink; she stood next to Yue and talked about their occupations and the way they spend their weekends, things they liked growing up, stuff you don’t usually talk about in a club with a stranger; she peeled Ty Lee off her shoulder (multiple times) to signal her availability; she initiated soft, gentle physical contact throughout their conversation to indicate her interest; she was genuinely funny, causing Yue to throw her head back in laughter, baring her teeth and revealing the column of her neck. At least seven of those actions could be considered aggressive flirting; if Suki were generous, she could even count tripping Ty Lee because it definitely counts as an act for the good of humanity.

Now she’s draining the last of her drink and thinks that she doesn’t want to go home, so she can as well go big.

“Would you like to dance?” She asks with more confidence in her voice than in her soul, breaking their contemporary pop-song remix filled silence. “I think I know this song.” In reality, Suki’s not sure if she knows the song or if the countless remixes have started to blur into each other so neatly that she can’t differentiate between them anymore. But it doesn’t matter, does it? She doesn’t need to know a song to dance to it with a beautiful woman.

Yue doesn’t look too enthralled at the prospect, and Suki feels her heart sinking. Maybe she’s been reading this absolutely wrong. Maybe she just thought that Yue seemed as interested in her. Oh, no, maybe she’s just being nice, and Suki is exactly the disaster bi she didn’t want to be, reading friendly banter as tentative dalliance.

Swallowing down her disappointment, she smiles at Yue and says: “Well, you know what? I think I’m gonna go and get some fresh air, now that I think of it.”

“Mind if I tag along?” Yue asks to Suki’s surprise. Because she had been sure that she overstepped Yue’s boundaries, alienating her in the process. “Fresh air would do me some good, I think.”

Suki nods and, without thinking about it, she extends her hand for Yue to hold, like she would do if Ty Lee or Sokka would stand before her. But Yue only spares a glance and doesn’t take hold of Suki’s hand, and even though it’s completely understandable and valid that Yue doesn’t take her hand, it still feels awkward. Suki's empty hand falls to her side, and she turns around to head for the exit and to avoid that Yue sees the look on her face.

Once they get stamps on the back of their hands, they step out into the cool air, and it hits them right in the face. Suki feels a whole lot better underneath the streetlamp lit sky. Yue is right behind her when they swerve a group of smoking people in showy dresses and ten-inch heels, and Suki can almost forget what happened a few minutes ago.

The front court isn't too big, and a few benches are standing around, waiting for drunk and tired clubbers and hushed late-night conversations. Suki walks to one further away from the other people to catch a break from loud voices and close contact to strangers. Sitting down on the cold wood, she watches Yue out of the corner of her eye standing for a moment longer, until she’s sitting down as well.

The distant chatter and laughter of the other group is carried by the wind into the other direction, and they’re sitting in something almost resembling quiescence. From their bench, Suki can oversee most of the parking lot and she can even make out their car underneath a streetlamp at the far end.

Somewhat sobering up from the heated atmosphere in the club, Suki starts to wonder again what kind of signals Yue is sending her. When they finally reached the club and reunited with the rest of their group, Yue could have easily sat at Zuko’s, Azula’s, June’s and Toph’s table, or joined Aang, Sokka, Ty Lee and Katara on the dancefloor, or followed The Duke, Longshot, Smellerbee and Pipsqueak upstairs to the second dancefloor. But she didn’t. Yue waited for Suki to come back and stood with her offside, watching the people on the dancefloor, waving at their friends whenever they emerged from the crowd. – At any given time, she could have walked away. But she didn’t. She chose to spend her entire evening with Suki and that must mean something. – Yes, Yue hadn’t been interested in dancing with Suki, true, but it could also mean that Yue’s not interested in dancing, Suki or no Suki.

Yue had been receptive to her flirting, Suki feels confident. Would Yue be sitting next to her if she weren’t?

So, Suki draws a few deep and discreet breaths, and breaks the silence: “I don’t know if it’s bad luck, but there has been someone tonight really outshining the grooms.” Her eyes flicker to Yue’s face to gauge her reaction, before she can force her gaze on the parking lot again. Casual, Suki, just one damn time! “You know who’s the prettiest tonight?”

Her fists lying on her knees, Suki waits for anything. She’s a bit proud of herself because this is going to be the smoothest pick-up line she has ever used. There is literally no way this can go wrong. (Well, there is the possibility that Yue is deeply and utterly hetero and won’t take it as a compliment, but even if she’s not romantically interested in Suki, it’s still likely that she’s going to react in a respectful manner. – Suki doesn’t think that Sokka would be friends with someone that couldn’t handle being mistaken for gay.)

“Ty Lee?” Yue says. (Or asks? Suki doesn’t have the foggiest if the uptilt of her voice is meant as a question or just caused by embarrassment. – Either way, this is not what Suki envisioned. At all.)

Mai is supposed to arrive at any given moment and maybe it’s time that someone explains to Yue that Ty Lee is already in loving, monogamous hands, so Suki retorts, feigning an amused chuckle: “Don’t let her girlfriend hear you talk like that.”

The way Yue furrows her brow makes her seem more contemplating than surprised. The fingers of her right hand tap an unsteady rhythm on the back of her other hand, and her voice sounds uncertain when she says: “I think it's already too late for that.”

And Suki doesn't know how to take Yue's soft confession because as far as Suki is concerned, Yue and Mai have never met. Suki is at a loss for words, and they fall back into the awkward silence Suki was desperate to leave behind.

A few minutes go by, then a cab pulls into the parking lot and Suki looks without much interest at the shadowy figure inside paying the driver and rummaging around. When the door is opened, however, Suki perks up because it’s none other than Mai who exits the cab. And if Mai is here, it means that Suki is officially released from her role as Ty Lee’s chaperone. (Not that Suki had been dutifully chaperoning Ty Lee in the first place. Or that Ty Lee actually needed someone chaperoning her.)

With poise in her every step, Mai makes her way over to Suki and Yue, calmly stepping around suspicious puddles and radiating serenity.

“Mai,” Suki calls out as if Mai wasn’t already on her way to them. “What took you so long?”

Wrinkling her nose, Mai returns her greeting and says: “Hit a traffic jam after a massive departure delay.” Her left hand is wrapped around the strap of her pochette and she throws a glance towards the entrance. “Suki, I need to know something before I go in there.”

Suki nods and shifts involuntarily closer to the edge of the bench. Mai and her, they don’t usually interact too much even though Ty Lee is something like Suki’s best friend. They don’t really have as much in common as Suki sometimes wishes. So, if Mai needs her opinion on some matter or another, Suki thinks it must be vital.

“What do you think is more important,” Mai starts, her expression flickering between deadpan and concerned, “looking for Ty Lee or Zuko and Sokka?”

Suki snorts with laughter and asks: “Is this really something you should be asking?”

“I think,” Mai replies, and she seems peeved, “I want to act in the best interests of all parties concerned. I also think I could offend one of them by going to the other one first. And I am too tired to fall victim to their antics.”

Now Suki realises that Mai is serious, but she still can’t hold back teasing her a little: “You think Zuko could be offended if you look for Ty Lee first? Seems out of character to me.”

“Very funny,” Mai says, rolling her eyes at Suki. “You know better than me that Sokka’s a theatre kid at heart.” Which is true, unfortunately. “So, opinions?”

Suki shrugs and finally answers Mai’s question: “Last time we saw them, Sokka and Ty Lee were painting the dancefloor red. Best bet is walking straight into the crowd and taking potluck who’s the first one spotting you.”

Mai nods absentmindedly, then she turns away and heads for the entrance. She doesn’t make it that far before Suki calls after her: “Hurry up, Ty Lee’s been crying so much since you left.”

“Ty Lee cries crocodile tears every time we’re on the phone,” Mai retorts over her shoulder without turning back. “She’s going to live.”

When Mai enters the building while opening her pochette to retrieve her portemonnaie, Suki finally gives her attention back to Yue who looks positively alienated, so Suki attempts to explain Mai’s behaviour: “Don’t be fooled, Mai’s just as eager to see Ty Lee. You can’t pry them away from each other, even if you tried. Mai’s just … Mai’s not big on PDA, I guess. But you probably know that already.”

Yue blinks at her. “I,” she hesitates, “do not.”

Leaning into Yue’s space, Suki asks excitedly: “You wanna tell me she’s more public with her affection when I’m not around? This is outrageous. I think I deserve to see Mai all soppy and corny!”

“No,” Yue intercepts. It still looks like she’s trying to make sense of the situation. “I mean, I have never met Mai.”

Now it’s Suki’s turn to frown. “Didn’t you say that, you know, you told Mai Ty Lee is the prettiest?”

“I said I think I told Ty Lee’s girlfriend that Ty Lee is the prettiest,” Yue replies slowly. Which doesn’t make sense because Mai is Ty Lee’s girlfriend and Yue said those words to Suki.

Suki blinks. And she blinks. And she blinks. Then the realisation hits her, and she points to the entrance door of the club and then to herself. Her hand makes a weird circular motion, and she ascertains beyond doubt: “Mai is Ty Lee’s girlfriend.”

And when Yue’s only reaction consists of closing her eyes and throwing back her head, Suki declares: “Ty Lee is my best friend. Ty Lee is not my girlfriend.” (Her words may be tinged with the slightest bit of hysteria.)

“Oh,” is everything that slips past the smile growing on Yue’s face. She’s lifting her head, and when their eyes meet, Suki asks not without agitation: “Wait, let me get this straight: You thought I was dating Ty Lee? Because I’ve been flirting with you the whole night long and already began to think you just weren’t interested.” She snickers. “You can tell me if you’re not interested but if it’s because of Ty Lee I can assure you that she’s not my girlfriend. Never was, never will be.”

“Well, I must confess,” Yue replies, also snickering, “I was irritated because it seemed like you were trying to hit on me, but I also thought: Why would she try to hit on you, Yue, she’s got a gorgeous girlfriend. So, I didn’t try to dwell too long on the thought?”

“Oh, wow, you asked about Ty Lee’s and my meet cute, didn’t you?” Without thinking about, Suki reaches out and rests her hand on Yue’s elbow. “I thought you were really, really into Ty Lee. I felt kind of bad because I didn’t know if you knew that she’s in a committed relationship.” Suki hesitates but then she decides to throw all caution overboard. “And Sokka kind of said that you didn’t do the whole dating thing? So, I didn’t know if you were just trying to reject me as gently as possible.”

Yue splutters which shouldn’t make her more endearing, but it does. “Sokka is an overprotective dork.” She sighs deeply. “I don’t usually date, he’s not wrong. But I’m not not doing the whole dating thing.” Like an afterthought, she leans into Suki’s touch and Suki almost forgets to actually listen to the words coming out of Yue’s mouth.

(Concentrating is hard, okay, she’s so close to Yue. She can see the cut glass embedded into the tiny stars on her earlobe and the texture of the ivory, almost fan-shaped earring that Suki now knows is an uluaq-earring that Katara gave to her. She can see the moles dotted across Yue’s neck and cheek, and her dark roots. Suki sees her own distorted reflection in Yue’s eyes and the faint wrinkles around the corner of her eyes. She can make out a single freckle on the bridge of Yue’s nose. – It’s not that Suki doesn’t want to listen to Yue, but her beauty is truly distracting.)

“So,” Suki says softly, tearing away her gaze from Yue’s lips, “you do want to dance with me?”

Grabbing Suki’s free hand and enclosing it with both her own, Yue retorts: “Well, I want to dance with you but Sokka’s not entirely wrong? Dating is pretty exhausting, and I don’t often think someone’s interesting enough to try?”

“You know I’ve heard that everything that comes before but can be omitted,” Suki replies because she doesn’t know how to take Yue’s words. Yue’s either turning her down or asking her out. Which one it is? Fuck if Suki knows.

“Okay.” Yue starts drawing nonsensical shapes on the back of Suki’s hand, apparently turning over words on her tongue. (Suki’s about to melt. Just straight up dissolve into a puddle of confused contentment.) “I usually don’t date because people aren’t interesting to me, romantically speaking. This explanation, however, kind of ignores the fact that in the past some people didn’t want to date me because I’m … ace.” The hesitancy of Yue’s words hits Suki right in the heart (and elicits a rage that Suki can barely force down her throat).

But Suki doesn’t tell her some platitude about the validity of asexuality (because one must be a self-entitled twat to think that this is necessary in any kind of way; as if her asexuality were any less real without verbal confirmation) and Suki doesn’t tell her some truism about how it’s their loss that they didn’t keep her close (because duh). Instead, Suki says: “My last boyfriend broke up with me because, in his opinion, Ty Lee and I shouldn’t be touching so much.”

Her hand jerks up slightly to make air quotes but Yue’s hands are still holding it firmly between them. So, she shrugs her shoulders to make up for it.

“I think it’s nice,” Yue says. “You know, when I’m not currently obsessing over the fact that you’re touching my arm even though you’re clearly taken.” She smiles apologetically.

“Most people think it’s nice. At first.” Suki tilts her head. “But I think I would like to give it a shot. See how you like it a few weeks from now.”

Something in the back of Suki’s head rings out. Something about we grew up in the same neighbourhood but right before elementary school my family moved away. Something about I only knew Katara and Aang before coming here. But she doesn’t want to concentrate on the obstacles that lie before them, she wants to grab Yue’s hand and drag her indoors. She wants to dance underneath the neon lights. She wants to cup Yue’s face in her hands, brush her cheek with her thumb and take in the way her lashes cast a shadow on her skin. She wants to sink her fingers into Yue’s hairline. She wants to pull her impossibly close, and even closer still. She wants to drown in Yue’s laughter and drink in her every expression. She wants to listen to everything Yue is willing to tell. (She even wants Ty Lee’s triumphant cheers and her Seriously, I, like, totally called it!, and Sokka’s flummoxed expression.)

“Ask me again.” Yue’s grip on Suki’s hand tightens and Suki is positively overwhelmed.

Suki takes her hand off of Yue’s elbow and brings it down to their clasped hands. Cupping Yue’s hand in turn, she asks as desired: “Do you want to dance with me?”

Suddenly getting to her feet, Yue holds onto Suki’s hands and pulls her right up with her. They almost crash into each other, unable to catch themselves or the other, and laughter spills out of them into the eternal twilit night.

“Yes, I do want to dance with you,” Yue breathes out into the small space between them, and Suki almost lets go of her hands in excited surprise. “We should do it now.”

Yue turns around and pulls Suki with her, beelining to the entrance of the club and straight into the waiting mouth of a soft teethed beast. (Suki is ready. If she can turn a whole day from anxious apprehension to absolute perfection, then she can do this to. It’s just a dance with a pretty lady, Suki, come on, you got this! And she will.)

#schmok writes #avatar: the last airbender #suki x yue #atla #fanfiction

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missfaber · 5 years

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author interview

I was tagged by @orangeflavoryawp, thank you so much!

I already know I’m going to enjoy this way too much, writing is such a lonely endeavor and I just love talking about it, sooo... I apologize in advance for rambling.

name: Madeline/Maddie

fandoms: this is complicated because there’s fandoms I very much consider myself a part of because they’re just a huge part of my life, even though I don’t contribute content to them, and then there’s fandoms I do create content for. So idk where the line is drawn!

fandoms I contribute/ have contributed to: Avatar the Last Airbender, Game of Thrones, Merlin BBC, Once Upon a Time, Legend of Korra

fandoms I haven’t contributed to but are so dear to me: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings (my two favorite things ironically lol), and lots more

where you post: AO3, used to be ff.net and livejournal too

most popular one shot: by kudos, it’s as if death itself was undone (zutara, atla: katara wakes up to azula in their house and wants to find out a) why she is welcome b) why zuko is acting so weird)

most popular multichapter: by kudos, it’s soldier, go bravely on (jonsa + gendrya, got, complete, rewrite of the last episode of got with sweetness and angst and action, and may i say some common sense?)

favorite story you wrote: fuck omg this is difficult lol! because I both criticize and love all my stories in equal measure, I honestly don’t write anything that i don’t love, that doesn’t give me butterflies / actual chest pain (from angst). I feel like I’m being asked to choose a favorite child lol. so I’ll try to justify these picks somehow...

closest to my heart: soldier, go bravely on (also mentioned above). this is the fic that brought me back to writing fic, and to tumblr even! I was on hiatus (that I didn’t know was a hiatus because I had no intention of coming back) for six years before writing this fic. I wrote it so quickly after the got finale, it was such a passionate and fevered few days and it just sucked me back in to everything I used to love as a teenager. It was also a nice stretch out of my comfort zone, because of the dialogue (which was so tightly planned it’s ridiculous, I wrote the whole fic as a screenplay type thing first to make sure there wasn’t a single dialogue word not needed) and tv-episode style. It’s also such a wish-fulfillment fic that I can’t read certain parts without getting a bit teary. for all those reasons and more, this fic will always be so special to me.

most proud of: wolf, circle north (jonsa, got, alternate season 7 & 8). this is the longest fic I’ve ever attempted and the number I’ve hours I’ve sunk into it is astounding and i should be ashamed. It’s going to be obscenely long (my outline is 70+ chapters) and when I pull it off, best believe it’s going into a bound book so I can look at how thicc it is and be like, “I did that!” lol. The range of POVs is one of the most challenging but most rewarding part of this fic, and why I’m so proud of it. This is another wish-fulfillment fic for me, not just because it’s another fix-it fic but because I have been writing bits and pieces of this fic for about three years. I kept thinking of jonsa scenarios and little scenes I would have loved to see after season 6 and writing them in a little secret doc, just for me, as I never thought I’d write fic again. After writing “soldier” i had already broken my hiatus and I realized this fic was an actual possibility, so I put it out into the world. I couldn’t be more happy that I did that. Not only did it give me the chance to be in such an excellent, lovely fandom, but the feedback I get is so validating after having this be my secret little project for so long.

most formative: Coffee & Cigarettes, (merthur, merlin bbc) I’m ashamed to list this and the merthurs reading this 100% want to kill me for having the audacity because it’s incomplete and hasn’t been updated since 2013 when there’s only one chapter left so what’s my excuse? I call this the most formative for me because until I published this I didn’t really have a fic that people followed and liked, eagerly awaited updates for, and commented regularly on. I was writing a lot of one-shots and atla stuff on tumblr (I used to RP lmao I was like 15 ok?) This was the first time I experienced so many fic-life things, like being excited to get AO3 emails, etc. This was the first time I started to really focus on character which is so important to me now, my writing is completely character driven. Not to mention Merlin and Arthur’s dumbassery and sheer attraction and denial is just... *chef’s kiss*

guiltiest pleasure: my recent foray into nedsei, who am I??? one more word and you won’t survive, just international hate sex

story you were most nervous to post: ummm idk I’m usually excited not nervous, since for me fic writing is just fun, I write things I’d enjoy reading and that I’m proud of. I read my own fics more than anyone else does, I guarantee it. am I a narcissist? who knows I guess I’ll say “soldier” again because I hadn’t posted fic in six years.

how you choose your titles: wow the hardest part of fic writing for me!!!!! thanks!!!!! lol. Okay so for my work titles, which are always terrible and I literally regret them immediately after posting, it’s usually just some words I play around with and string together that are somewhat thematic and related to the work... they’re always terrible lmao, I hate making titles. I mean, look at “soldier, go bravely on” and “wolf, circle north” for god’s sake, I hate them lmao. But I have to pick a title to post, so!!! For chapter titles and one-shots I’ll usually go with a song lyric, and especially for my chapter titles I spend so long seeking out the perfect one that reflects some thematic or emotional content of the chapter somehow. I’m very proud of my chapter titles for wolf, circle north. I have a doc on my scrivener just for chapter titles that I created in the very early stages of writing it, where I just dumped HUNDREDS of song lyrics that I thought I might use. Then by them I wrote some scenarios where they could work. here’s a screenshot:

It’s so helpful now. Sometimes posting an update will take an hour more than necessary because of me going through that doc, finding the perfect lyric.

do you outline: OH, DO I OUTLINE... Hell Yeah, I outline. I couldn’t live without outlining. I love outlining. My outlines have outlines. I’m a planner centric, calendar centric, bullet-journal bitch so of course I love outlining. In all seriousness though: I write out of chronological order. I feel my writing is best when I write the scene I’m in the mood to write- unfortunately this scene could be ten chapters down the line from the chapter I’m gonna post next. This is the biggest reason outlining is necessary for me. If I didn’t have an outline, my story would be a non-post-able mess.

I wasn’t kidding when I said my outlines have outlines. For wolf, circle north I have, um, a few. Character/location centric outlines where I bullet every scene that needs to happen for that plot to happen cohesively (these were all more or less completed before I even started writing the fic), then a “loose” outline that I copy everything from the other outlines into for some semblance of chronological order, then a Polished Final Outline that I write from. I know that sounds psychotic. It’s how my brain works. Some photo evidence/explanation:

And here’s a screengrab of my Final Outline, this is pretty much how it is all the way down- The POV character is italicized in the front, I talk to myself a lot in there, let myself get carried away, will sometimes write out whole segments of the scene if they come to me while outlining. Spoilers for chapters 1-3 of w,cn I guess!!!

Then, because scrivener is awesome, I get to see this outline in the corkboard view (I input every scene as a card) and so I get to see every part of my outline as a Synopsis on the right hand side of the doc where I’m writing the scene:

The POV and status tags (which are completely customizable) on the lower right are helpful too. This post is just a scrivener ad.

complete: 9 works

in progress: 4 works

coming soon / not yet started: I have so many fics in the works, I’m an indulgent person so if an idea comes to me I usually go with it for a time. I’ve had a very not-serious Jonsa PLL AU I’ve been writing on and off since summer. I have three different fairytale AUs (also jonsas) I’ve been working on and one time travel AU for @sunbeamsandmoonrays. I can’t say when or if any of these will see the light of day, because my priority is my WIPs and my original writing. But the most prevalent are my Halloween fics (one jonsa, one gendrya, one merthur) which I really want to be able to put out this month, but only if I meet some other goals. I’m trying to rein in my indulgent ass, ya’ll.

do you accept prompts: no. sorry! but I do workshop ideas with friends, for example the nedsei fic happened that way by talking with @flibbertigiblet. But I don’t take writing prompts in my inbox.

upcoming story you are most excited to write: my halloween merthur fic. it’s witchy, sassy, and I’m so excited to get back into the heads of these characters.

Tagging! @uchihabat @anniebibananie @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth @sailorshadzter @vivilove-jonsa and any other lovely writer soul who wants to do this!

#askjshssj thanks for reading this lol i went off!#my writing #writing things #jonsa #merthur #zutara #fanfiction #fanfiction writing

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