i’ve seen a lot of people try to discredit ashton’s “what’s was it like waking up and having them there?” just because milo was there and fixed him, and i wanted to give a bit of context (some canon, some theories) of why it isn't the same.
first, we got confirmation that milo was part of the nobodies, but i don’t think they were IN the nobodies. i mean that i don’t think that they were part of the actual heists. they were the one who got them the jobs and the gadget maker. the one connected to everybody of importance in jrusar maybe. but i think they came to the group way after they formed.
i think the nobodies formed in the greymoore house, or at least in bassuras. i think they knew eachother longer than they knew milo.
so, when ashton wakes up after dying and sees milo there, of course he's glad they are. of course he's thankful they saved him. but he still wonders "why did they leave?"
i think it'd be more useful to explain this by comparing milo and the nobodies to eshteross and bell's hells.
eshteross was an honorary member, beloved by the party, and extremely usaful for their jobs. but he wasn't with them. not completely.
now imagine laudna dying and waking up in eshteross' estate, only him there to tell her what happened. that she died, the party brought her there and then they bailed. her group, her friends, imogen, all gone, with no explanation and no idea where they went.
wouldn't she be confused and resentful even tho eshteross was there for her? wouldn't she wonder why they left too?
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You ever think about everything Ashton said to Sally in a single punch?
How she probably reminded him of the person he used to be, the person that maybe might’ve left her behind if she had fallen out the window?
Or maybe how he would absolutely not have left her behind — left anyone behind, even back then.
Whichever it is, Sally never fucking knew them. She didn’t know them then, and she sure as fuck doesn’t know them now.
The shame. The embarrassment. The anger.
She doesn’t fucking know him.
And now she never will. She’s ruined her chance to get to know this heroic, kindhearted, brilliant new Ashton Greymoore.
And she doesn’t even know what she’s missing.
Ironically enough, Ashton is now more of a Nobody to Sally than they ever were when they were “friends.” She lost the potential to have that incredible person in her life as soon as she left them behind.
And all of that feeling was, in the moment, simply too much for words.
You guys ever think about that?
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The Nobodies
Fleas dream of buying themselves a dog, and nobodies dream of escaping poverty: that one magical day good luck will suddenly rain down on them–will rain down in buckets. But good luck doesn’t rain down yesterday, today, tomorrow, or ever. Good luck doesn’t even fall in a fine drizzle, no matter how hard the nobodies summon it, even if their left hand is tickling, or if they begin the new day with their right foot, or start the new year with a change of brooms.
The nobodies: nobody’s children, owners of nothing. The nobodies: the no ones, the nobodied, running like rabbits, dying through life, screwed every which way.
Who are not, but could be.
Who don’t speak languages, but dialects.
Who don’t have religions, but superstitions.
Who don’t create art, but handicrafts.
Who don’t have culture, but folklore.
Who are not human beings, but human resources.
Who do not have faces, but arms.
Who do not have names, but numbers.
Who do not appear in the history of the world, but in the red chronicle of the local paper.
The nobodies, who are not worth the bullet that kills them.
Poem from “The Book of Embraces,” translation by Galeano’s longtime translator, Cedric Belfrage.
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Angstpril 2023 - Day 26: Loss of Control (alt)
Ashton held their hammer cocked for a swing as the creature prepared for another dive, but Orym soon surged in front of him, shield high above his head. “Spread out!” Ashton yelled. “We don’t need that thing breathing on both of us!”
A fucking dragon, of all things. Granted, it was a young one, Orym had insisted, not as capable as a bigger one might be, but it had managed to take everything they’d dished out so far, and Ashton’s lungs were still burning from the cloud of fumes it had exhaled.
Orym wasn’t moving, so Ashton began to sidestep from behind him, hoping to find a position near the dragon’s flank. Before it could finish its dive, however, Ashton watched a pair of crossbow bolts rip through its wing, sending it tumbling to the ground. It tried to draw itself upright, but Ashton had positioned himself well and leapt forward to drive a pair of hefty strikes into its hip, hearing the bone shatter beneath his hammer. Orym was close behind, plunging his sword into the shoulder joint and dragging it downward, half-severing the limb from the body. A blast of magic from Laudna’s direction slammed into its neck, and that’s when Ashton saw the figure emerge from the brush to jam a pair of daggers into its spine.
Ashton raised their hammer again as they approached, thankful for the help of course, but still reasonably wary. “Holy shit!” the newcomer shouted as they looked up, daggers falling from their hands. “Ash?”
That was a voice Ashton hadn’t heard in a long-ass time. “Zee?”
ao3
He’d had plenty of time to think of what would happen if he ran into any of the Nobodies again, and over the years his thoughts on the matter had ranged from anger, to resignation, back to anger, and eventually to maybe wanting to see them again. Whether to make check in on them, or just for closure, Ashton wasn’t sure.
“Fuck, man, I thought you were dead. Bennett! Sally!” Zee called over their shoulder. “Get the fuck out here!”
“Ash?” Orym’s voice piped up from beside them. “Is this…”
“One of your so-called friends?” Laudna finished. Sally and Bennett were making their way out of the brush by now, Bennett shouldering the crossbow that had done most of the work for them.
“And this your new gang?” Sally raked her gaze over Laudna, then Orym, before turning to Ashton. “They could both use some meat on ‘em.” Ashton’s two companions glanced uncomfortably between the three nobodies but were letting Ashton take the lead so far; these were his people. “Zee’s right though; you were in fucking pieces. What happened?”
Ashton shrugged. “Milo managed to haul me back to their place and get me fixed up.”
“I’ll say,” Bennett chimed in. “Fucking sick!” He leaned in to get a closer look at the glass in Ashton’s head, then reached around and clapped them on the shoulder, leaving Ashton wincing in pain. “Oh, shit. Sorry.”
“This thing fuck you up a little, before we showed up?” Zee asked, poking the dragon’s hide with their toe.
“Nah, just an old ‘falling off a balcony’ injury acting up.”
“Oh, you mean the one where these assholes left you for dead?” Orym’s sword was still sheathed, but his had rested on the pommel like he was itching to draw it. Ashton and the Nobodies might have been joking around, but Orym was deadly serious. “Are you gonna tell them about Hexum, Ashton? How you spent two years as her fucking errand boy to pay off their debts?”
“It’s fine, Orym. None of that matters.” It wasn’t supposed to be like this, these two parts of his life weren’t supposed to interact like this. The Nobodies were crass and irreverent, and Orym was so fucking kind and earnest, and both of those things were great, but not together.
“It does fucking matter, Ash. You don’t need to brush off what happened to you just because they don’t give a shit.”
“Like I said, you little shit, he was fucking dead.” And the sound of her backhand across Orym’s face seemed to echo against the dragon corpse behind them.
“Don’t you fucking touch him!” And Ashton wondered if the surprise in her eyes was from his hammer hovering inches from her face or whatever light show his head was giving off.
The fearful expression didn’t last long, though. “What, are you two fucking or something?” she sneered.
“Orym,” Ashton sighed, pointedly ignoring the question. “I know these people, you don’t. I don’t need you getting all indignant on my behalf.”
“Well, someone ought to, if you’re not going to.”
“They’re right, though. I was dead.”
“No.” Orym’s face fell. “You were injured, dying, but Milo managed to save you.”
“I died, Orym, or may as well have. And they brought me back. And I never really thought about it that way until I saw the same thing happen to you guys. I might’ve had to do the same. And I’d have hated myself for it.” Ashton turned back to the Nobodies and shouted, “And no, I’m not drunk. These people have made me weird.”
After some discussion, and a fair bit of trepidation on Orym’s part, the two groups agreed to travel together, just in case a baby dragon wasn’t the worst thing lurking here. They didn’t get a chance to talk privately to Orym until everyone was setting up camp for the night.
“I had asked Joe to let them know I was looking for them, back before we left there. This wasn’t out of nowhere. It’s all… it’s complicated.”
“Yeah. I get that. I shouldn’t have snapped back there.”
“It was kind of cool that you did. I don’t get people looking out for me like that too often. And I’m, uh, I’m sorry Sally hit you.” He put a hand to Orym’s chin, examining the red mark on his cheek, careful not to touch it. “She’s not gonna do that again.”
“No,” Orym agreed with a chuckle. “You looked like you were gonna smash her face in.”
“Hell, if I’d have run into them on my own, I might have done it. Fuck, life was so much easier when I could just fix things by punching them.”
“Sorry you met us, then?” And they could tell Orym was only teasing.
“Not a chance.”
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