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redmyeyes · 4 months

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Fellow Travelers Timeline

(as comprehensive as i can make it. corrections/additions welcome)

1919-20 (?) - Hawk is born

based on tennis trophy which shows year 1936, and hawk's statement that he and kenny were on the tennis team in 11th grade (16/17 years old).

also date on the paperweight (1937) that hawk says kenny picked out on their senior trip. spring or fall though? if spring (usual for a senior trip, just before graduation), it would mean hawk graduated HS in 1937, b. 1919. (thanks, @lestatscunt!)

June 6, 1930 - Tim is born, on Staten Island, NY

birthdate/place shown on army application in ep 5

Gemini, with moon in Libra

>>> With a Gemini Sun Libra Moon, emotional equilibrium is hard for you to maintain in a world of constant flux and tension. Since you are not responsible for the woes and upsets of those around you, you should not feel so duty-bound to assuage their wounds or mediate every conflict that happens to come your way.

>>> your natural diplomacy, extraordinary perception and insight can all be applied creatively in such fields as politics, social work, and the mass media.

>>> your extreme open-mindedness would probably enable you to almost any life-style. You have a universal quality about you that transcends culture, religion, ideology, or any other barrier that divides mankind.

Fall 1937 - Spring 1941 - Hawk attends "Penn", presumably the University of Pennsylvania. (assuming hawk b. 1919)

(this is very very long, the rest is under the cut)

December 7, 1941 - bombing of Pearl Harbor, US enters WWII

??? - Hawk joins the army (along with Kenny), and is sent to Europe.

January 9 – August 15, 1945 - Battle of Luzon, where Kenny dies.

September 2, 1945 - Japan surrenders, US exits WWII

February, 1949 - Hawk starts working at the State Department

Hawk says in 1x04 (Dec 1953) that he's been working at the State Dept for "four years and ten months".

"I came out of the war with four assets: degree from Penn, a hero's war record, no particular political ideology, and a passing acquaintance with three languages. Throw in a talent for prevaricating and a taste for travel and fine clothes, you have the makings of a competent, mid-level Foreign Service bureaucrat."

Fall 1948 - Spring 1952 - Tim attends Fordham University, graduating with a degree in political science and history.

1951 - Hawk starts work for the Bureau of Congressional Relations

Tim mentions Hawk's been working there for two years during their meeting on the bench.

1952 - Tim works "the New York campaign" (presumably for Eisenhower).

1952/3? - Tim interns for three months at the Star, in the mailroom.

November 4, 1952 - Election Night, Eisenhower (R) wins the presidency. Tim/Hawk first meet and are instantly smitten. (ep 1)

February 16, 1953 to March 10, 1954 - McCarthy Hearings, part 1.

The first consisted of a series of hearings conducted by McCarthy, as the subcommittee’s chairman, throughout 1953 and early 1954 in which McCarthy alleged Communist influence within the press and the federal government, including the State Department, the U.S. Army, and the Government Printing Office.

March 5, 1953 - Stalin dies.

Late March, 1953 - Hawk/Tim second meeting

After Hawk meets Tim at the park bench, he attends a hearing where Marcus says Cohn has brought David Schine on, and then later at their lunch Senator Smith says, "McCarthy is sending Cohn and his sidekick to Europe..." This article, dated April 19, says that Cohn and Schine have been in Europe for two weeks.

Hawk mentions that it's near the end of the month, police need to make their quotas.

April 27, 1953 - Executive Order 10450 signed. Hawk goes to Tim's apartment and tells him about Kenny. (ep 1)

June 6, 1953 - Tim's 23rd birthday (Hawk 'misses' it because they weren't talking for 4 weeks. belated celebration in ep 3.)

June 15, 1953 (?) - date of the newspaper Tim is reading just before he goes to visit Hawk in ep 2, where Hawk makes him write the letter to Mary. I'm choosing to believe this is a mistake on the show's part, because this would mean that Hawk has already missed Tim's birthday.

June 19, 1953 - Julius and Ethel Rosenberg's execution. Hawk comforts Lucy about this at the end of ep 2. So, likely Hawk and Tim had their big fight very shortly before Tim's birthday, and weren't talking from end of May - end of June.

End of June, 1953 - at the end of ep 2, Tim says it's been 4 months since his last confession, making his last (proper) confession the end of Feb or beginning of March. (ie, before he meets Hawk again).

End of June or beginning of July, 1953 - weekend trip to Rehoboth Beach (ep 3)

November 1953 - G. David Schine drafted into the army (ep 3)

Christmas 1953 (ep 4)

March 16 to June 17, 1954 - Army-McCarthy Hearings (part 2) (ep 5)

The second phase involved the subcommittee's investigation of McCarthy’s attacks on the U.S. Army. Known as the “Army-McCarthy hearings,” they were broadcast on national television and they contributed to McCarthy’s declining national popularity. Five months later, on December 2, 1954, the Senate censured McCarthy.

June 6, 1954 - Tim's 24th birthday

June, 1954? - Tim/Hawk break up, Hawk proposes to Lucy (ep 5)

I believe this happens at the tail-end of the Army-McCarthy hearings, so before June 17th.

Fall, 1954 - Sen. Smith's funeral

based solely on fall foliage in this screenshot:

Late Nov / Early Dec, 1954 - Tim enlists in the army

based on army application: birthdate 6/6/30, age: 24 years, 6 months

Late Nov / Early Dec, 1954 - Hawk/Tim last meeting in the tower

based on the radio program Tim is listening to, which says, "Chief Counsel Roy Cohn has resigned from the committee. And Senator McCarthy, his approval ratings plummeting, faces censure or even expulsion from the Senate."

Tim leaves for Fort Dix, for training, but is later stationed at Fort Polk, in Vernon Parish, LA. (thanks, @jesterlesbian!)

December 2, 1954 - the Senate censures McCarthy.

Summer or Fall 1956? - Tim's letter (that lucy burns) (ep 6)

Flashbacks, for context:

"Since he's giving up his apartment, Hawk insists on having a lair in the woods." // "I'm surprised that he finally agreed."

Lucy lets contractor go. // "Give me a baby."

Hawk is reading the Bristol Daily Courier, a paper located in Bristol, PA, a town in Bucks County, outside Philadelphia. I can't find any info on the one headline I can read though ("Heath Carlson breaks arws deadlock, locals proud"), so can't date this properly.

Lucy cleaning out Hawk's apartment, finds paperweight, sees Tim drop off letter.

"I went into the Army to get away from you. I thought time and distance would help. But it hasn't." If Tim sends the letter in summer 1956, it's been a year and a half since he enlisted.

Biggest question here: did lucy ask for a baby before or after she read Tim's letter??? the flashbacks don't answer this definitively.

October, 1956? - Lucy becomes pregnant with Jackson (see note under April 1957)

October 23 – November 4, 1956 - Hungarian Revolution of 1956

October 23, 1956 - April 30, 1957 - Hungarian Refugee Crisis

November 8, 1956 - Operation Safe Haven commences

President Eisenhower declared that 5,000 Hungarians would be awarded visa numbers remaining under the 1953 Refugee Relief Act

Spring 1957? - Tim sends telegram. It looks like 05-??-???? to me, which doesn't really make sense if McCarthy died on May 2nd, but it's hard to make out. or maybe telegrams used the date format dd-mm-yyyy.

April 1957? - Tim/Hawk first meeting, Lucy at least 5 (or 6? or 7?) months pregnant

You should feel your baby's first movements, called "quickening," between weeks 16 and 25 of your pregnancy. If this is your first pregnancy, you may not feel your baby move until closer to 25 weeks.

25 weeks ~= 6 months, and it still seems novel to her, so let's say she's approx. 6 months pregnant here.

May 2, 1957 - Joe McCarthy dies.

May 6, 1957 - McCarthy's funeral. Tim's first visit to Hawk's apartment (ep 8)

June 6, 1957 - Tim turns 27.

June or July, 1957 - Jackson born (based on dates above)

1958? - Kimberly is born. (estimated bc she looks the same age or older than Jackson, so assuming she's a year younger at most.)

August, 1965 - President Johnson signs a law making it a federal crime to destroy or mutilate [draft] cards.

October 15, 1965 -David Miller publicly burns his draft card, becoming the first person to be prosecuted under that law and a symbol of the growing movement against the war.

May 17, 1968 - the Catonsville Nine took 378 draft files from the draft board office in Catonsville, Maryland and burned them in the parking lot. (inspo for Tim & co. thanks @brokendrums!)

November 1968 - ep 6. Hawk is 48, Tim is 38, Jackson is 11.

based on this newspaper screenshot when Hawk is talking to Marcus on the phone about Tim

November 1968 - May 1970 (earliest) - Tim in prison. (he says in ep 7 he was in prison for a year and a half. this assumes he went to prison right away, but it could have been several months later if he was awaiting trial/sentencing.)

1970? - After prison, Tim moves to San Francisco and gets his counseling degree.

Mid-late 1970s - Tim earns his C-SWCM qualifications, requiring:

A Bachelor’s degree in social work from a graduate program accredited by the Council on Social Work Education

Documentation of at least three (3) years and 4,500 hours of paid, supervised, post-BSW professional experience in an organization or agency that provides case management services

Current state BSW-level license or an ASWB BSW-level exam passing score.

nb. because Tim already had his bachelors (from Fordham, majoring in history), I could see him entering a much-accelerated BSW program, transfering a lot of credits from his previous degree. That would give him maybe 2 more years of university, plus the required 3 years of post-BSW work = 5 years minimum before he earns that business card.

February 4, 1977 - Fleetwood Mac's album Rumours is released, including the 1970s Tim/Hawk anthem, Go Your Own Way

October, 1978 - Jackson dies

November 27, 1978 - Harvey Milk assassinated

May 22, 1979 - Harvey's 49th birthday (celebrated in ep 7)

1986 - ep 8

how long was Hawk in San Francisco? Timelines for the events below may be fudged in the show, bc I doubt he was there for 5 months.

March, 1986 - Roy Cohn's 60 Minutes interview, which the gang watches in ep 4.

April 15, 1986 - US bombs Libya. in the first episode you can hear reference to this on the radio, before Hawk leaves for San Francisco. (thanks @aliceinhorrorland93!)

July 27, 1986 - In California, Gov. George Deukmejian vetoes a bill that would have defined AIDS as a physical handicap calling for entitlement to protection under the state's civil rights laws.

August 2, 1986 - Roy Cohn dies (ep 8)

Late 1986? - the fundraising gala that Tim crashes, shortly after Cohn's death.

September 1986 - The State Legislature has passed another bill [in addition to the one vetoed on July 27]. Mr. Deukmejian, a Republican running for re-election, has indicated that he will probably veto the bill. (nb, this is likely the bill that Tim & co want to pressure the governor to sign).

October 11, 1987 - AIDS memorial quilt first displayed (ep 8)

this was a collaborative effort! many thanks to @ishipallthings for many of these details, as well as @startagainbuttercup , @alorchik, @itsalinh and others in the FT discord!

#fellow travelers #timeline #reference #i made this as comprehensive as i could but i would LOVE feedback/corrections #esp re: anything in 1956-1957 era #jackson's birth? and the date of that letter???

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even-in-arcadia · 2 months

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A Consideration of 1st Lt. Edward Little of HMS Terror (As Played by Matthew McNulty)

The thing about Lt. Edward Little is that he had the highest ideals and yet was set up in so many ways to fail them.

We occasionally see glimpses of the man Edward Little must have been in order to be appointed First Lieutenant on a very prestigious expedition: reliable, capable, stalwart.

(Continued below the cut, as this got very long)

He had that, before, when he was doing the job he was trained for, ie running a ship at sea. What he hasn’t been trained for at all is managing 129 126 119 105 ? men stuck in pack ice in endless night, later trudging over ice and shale, trying to keep them busy and out of trouble and from getting killed by a demon bear. Of course he’s out of his depth, but honestly aren’t most of them? Of the lieutenants Gore (RIP) is the only one who seems to be in his element and he’s the only one with Arctic experience so that tracks. Even Le Vesconte is getting by on charisma and the power of peer pressure, neither of which actually make for competent officering. So that’s the scene he’s stuck in, and no wonder he’s out of his depth.

Then we have the circumstances specific to Edward Little. He's spent the first two-plus years of the voyage as the first for a captain who is very depressed and increasingly alcoholic. As Crozier's state deteriorates and especially after Franklin dies, Little has to tread a very fine and somewhat blurry line. He has to cover for Crozier, picking up the slack that is inevitably dropped; he also has to prop Crozier up in such a way that his leadership as Captain isn't undermined with the crew. A big part of both of those is making sure that the right questions are being asked, that all practicalities are being factored in, but he has to ask those questions without seeming to question Crozier’s authority. Thus he must essentially be an acting captain without seeming to do so either to the men or to Crozier . He is not someone who wants power per se; in fact I think what he wants most is to be a good and competent 1st Lt. But because he's under an semi-incapacitated captain, he has no choice but to take on some of that power while appearing to be no more than a loyal lieutenant. He's leading without being seen to lead, and he's already seen Crozier flog three men for among other things insubordination and disrespect (and without due process).

Crozier has also put him in a position of having to lie - both directly and by omission! For example, when questioned he tells Fitzjames (who outranks him) "much to do on Terror is all” - leaving JFJ to draw his own conclusions on the source of that “much” and the extent to which it is falling on Little. The instruction to procure more whiskey “discreetly” is nearly if not actually insulting in how far below Little's rank it is. Having to do it “discreetly” is even worse. He is being treated as an errand boy, and not just an errand boy but one tasked with something that is clearly unsavory, even illicit. By ordering him to to this, he makes Little complicit in the very vice that is causing all of these problems, and Little by virtue of his position is unable to refuse any of these direct orders, even ones that are way below his station. (The fact that Jopson, Crozier's actual steward who was actually in charge of these things, was not given that task is also telling although I’m not sure of what - perhaps that Crozier wanted someone who outranked the Erebus’ steward to do the asking; perhaps that he felt some shame in asking Jopson.)

Through all of this, Little is having to cover for a man who continues to lose his own respect in ways both large and small, personal and professional. Crozier has endangered the crew for which Little feels himself bound to care - leading directly to Blanky losing his leg - and has spoken flippantly of the situation ("How fares the raft of the Medusa?"). In 1x04, he is clearly galled by both the disregard of due process and severity of Hickey’s punishment. (While both are not unstandard in the Navy, Crozier’s manner makes it seem like spite as much as anything - which I’m sure Little clocked.) Overall, Little observes him making inebriated decisions that are based as much on his internal demons as any the practicalities at hand while men continue to die under his watch. This erosion of trust will come back to haunt them all, because even when its causes have been overcome, the deep root and the effects are there. (JFJ gets to have reckonings with Crozier and say his piece in a way that Little never does or will.)

Edward Little also cares deeply about the welfare of his men, perhaps more than anything. Command is a responsibility not just to the navy but to those whose lives his decisions affect. And so he as he sees this disregard for them (and for himself) he is angry, and he is in a profession and position where one is not allowed to be angry with one's superiors. So he spends a lot of his time pretending that he is not quietly furious while carrying out orders that he knows he shouldn't be, and hiding it from everyone , even Fitzjames, because he is also, deep in his heart, loyal (even if he feels it is unearned) and married to Naval structures. Crozier and JFJ have their reckoning, but Little never gets that, because subordinates aren’t allowed to be angry.

This combination, the lack of trust both given and received, the anger, the care & loyalty, the necessity to fill the void in leadership, means that he asks a lot of questions . A well placed "Are you sure, sir?" can go a long way. "Yes, but--" is not a phrase that would often have been uttered to a commander by a lieutenant, but Little has not just earned but hard won the right to say it. Every time he questions Crozier, I think it is out of a sense of duty, not defiance. A duty to the expedition, to Crozier, and above all to the men, because for so long Crozier’s judgement was not something he was able to rely on. He can’t even attend a sunrise party without thinking of the supplies that are being used up!

To top everything off, he also never appears to be someone who is particularly congenial nor gregarious, he is very aware of his rank, and is competent while not being loved (except by me). I like to imagine that he and Jopson and Macdonald were able to commiserate in some way as Crozier was going through his detox. But everyone is so conscious of class & rank & secrets being guarded that it seems unlikely that anyone actually confided in each other. By getting dry and in such dramatic fashion, Crozier earns back his loyalty & respect, but by doing so in secret I wonder if he hasn't further eroded Little's relationship with the other lieutenants. Do they even know Crozier is drying out or is Little lying to them as well as to the entire rest of the crew? Little does not seem like a man who cares for lying, and covering up the captain's "gastritis" would only have made Little feel more cut off and burdened by the captain's confidence. (To say nothing of the fact that all of this is going on with the Tuunbaaq in the background - these lieutenants were not designed to contend with alcoholic spirits let alone the spirit world.)

Crozier’s trust does often end up being more burden than anything, and it’s beyond the responsibility that would normally come with his rank. That moment when he practically shoves the pistol away from him is so telling of this. We really were robbed of the moment when Little is so angry after leaving Crozier that he can’t even slam his door: because that’s what’s building up this entire time!

By covering for Crozier both before and during his sobering up, Little probably lost some of his authority over the crew. They know he's hiding something, and that earns some distrust. He's obviously worn out, and there must be some observation that Crozier is literally using him as an errand boy. In the best of circumstances the commanding-without-commanding is a hard line to walk while maintaining one’s own air of authority. He's also angry, and in working so hard to cover and subdue his anger, what he's left with is the "sad, wet man" that fandom has dubbed him. The crew may not know exactly what’s going on (although what do those men have to do besides gossip) but they must have sensed how Little is being worn away. As much as he cares for them, he wouldn’t fraternize - it seems like he barely fraternizes in the wardroom. (Which is why that moment of camaraderie with Jopson outside Crozier’s cabin is so important to me personally.)

That brings us to the mutiny. We may love a sad, wet man, but in the face of a charismatic mutineer he's never going to match up. He doesn't have the authority, the love of the crew, or really the energy to go against it. At this point, he has no reason to know or suspect that a mutiny is what's the offing in the first place! He is someone who wants to believe the best of his men, and he's been given no reason to doubt Tozer's motives. And what was he supposed to do in the face of a marine sergeant surrounded by frightened, armed men? They are clearly on edge and afraid, a dangerous combination. He is practical, and although ultimately it loses him even more face by going along with Tozer, he was never going to be able to stop that in its tracks. Even JFJ wasn’t able to reel back in what had already been done. So he chooses the pragmatic route: agree publicly to the logic, let Tozer do with him what he's been doing with Crozier, in making the subordinate's idea appear to be the superior's. With the situation and facts at hand, what else is he to do?

The irony is that Little has been quietly looking out for all of them and their best interests for so long; but because it was so quiet, an undercurrent, when it comes down to brass tacks, none of them have ever seen that, or feel that they owe him any respect or loyalty. Tozer and Hickey appear to be men of action, and unfortunately in a moment like this a group of frightened men is going to follow the one who appears strongest.

I also want to point out that Crozier specifically says *while the fog holds off*. Well the fog has rolled in! The situation changed! Crozier clearly has suspicions of Hickey and Tozer that he hasn't confided to Little, and whose fault is that! When it comes to investigating Irving’s and Farr’s murders, Little asks what the evidence is, which suggests to me that he has no knowledge of any concerns about Hickey that have arisen post-lashing. Again, he is inclined to trust them.

One of the realest moments we get from him is "I'm the worst kind of sorry." It's one of the very few times he breaks from naval demeanor. The worst kind because he feels it deeply, but also because he was stuck, and he knows it, and also knows the expectations both from himself and from others that he be Better.

What it comes down to is what he says to Hodgson: "All we have are our instincts and training. If both told you to proceed with what you ordered, then be easy with yourself." That is all Little has had for so long. He certainly doesn’t seem to be having heart to hearts with Irving and Hodgson, let alone JFJ and Crozier; his counterpart on Erebus is long gone. Who has he to confide in, especially at this juncture of events, when there are no clear paths and no right answers. I imagine this is what he told himself over and over in the long watches of the night.

And yet!! Matthew McNulty has said that “Little's probably one of the most hopeful out of them all. [...] He still thinks that humanity will prevail in this dark, dark world.” I’m not sure where to put this, but I think it’s important. I think it’s part of why he doesn’t always quite have the authority he should: poor, worn down Edward Little sees the best and hopes for the best, and can’t quite reckon that not everyone has the same moral compass he does. That’s why Tozer & Hickey get the best of him, because he wants to believe the best of them. He doesn’t compromise his moral compass or belief in humanity, and unfortunately that turns into a blind spot.I think it’s also why Tozer invites him to join them: because some part of him recognizes that they both have that idealism deep down. They are both doing their best in an inconceivable situation to cling to hope and take care of those they see as under their protection. It pains me to think what they could have accomplished had they worked together rather than against each other.

(Incidentally, I don’t believe Little ever would have been swayed to join them, but I can’t blame him for the fact that Tozer’s claim about Crozier leaving them gave him pause. He’s seen Crozier finally grow into a commander he can respect, but to find out that Crozier’s judgment was not just impaired for so long but extended to actively planning to abandon ship & crew, as Tozer frames, as he was working so hard to hold things together - even if he doesn’t believe it, in his heart of course there must have been some doubt.)

All of these, the erosion of respect, the concern, the exhaustion, the lack of direction and support, the HOPE, come together in a moment for which he (unjustly, in my opinion) gets vilified for:

We’ve slowed our pace hauling some of the ill in the boats. But if we extend this temporary camp more than a few days, we can allow the ill to rest here while the bulk of us proceed south. We can hopefully find game and trek back for the others once we have something more to offer them–

And Jopson’s anger is both understandable and not unwarranted - but. Based on that look Le Vesconte gives him, this most likely is not a thought that originated with Little. It’s being grumbled by those hauling, maybe even obliquely discussed by the officers. That look says to me “It has to be said.” And it does, the logistics are evident to everyone and that needs to be discussed. They’re sending out hunting parties every day, sure, but in an area very close to the one they’re trekking through. It genuinely does make practical sense to have some unencumbered, able-bodied (relatively) men go ahead quickly to what would hopefully be better hunting grounds, while the sick conserve what strength they have: those able to hunt could move quickly and bring back game, while those who are dying could do so while not being jostled about on boats on shale. Little does not say (and, I think, would never say) that they should leave them behind entirely: only that this current system isn’t really helping anyone (and it isn’t). He needs to make sure that Crozier has fully considered the situation, because for so long that was not the case. (Historically, in fact, they did set up a hospital camp while a smaller party moved south.)

I actually do think he says this with hope: the hope that they really will find game, that the ill do just need to rest, that he can save as many of them as possible. He's also thinking of the practicalities and (though I may be biased) really does intend to return to the ill once they have something to actually provide them with. He doesn't say so that they can move on unencumbered, to better their own chances, he says to let them rest , to find something to offer them. He knows the situation and the feeling in camp, and that the time has come to have the conversation. It's not even necessarily a conversation he wants to have or believes in, but it has to be had. Once it's been talked about, once Crozier has come out with not just a position but a direction (to leave supplies behind if necessary), Little is entirely on board. Shortly thereafter, when Le Vesconte suggests the exact same thing, he retorts that " Most of us are ill" (note the us - the identification with) and further responds with disgust and anger that "The Captain also ordered that we not leave any man behind. You expediently leave that out." The Captain isn’t there; Jopson isn’t there: if Little really in any way wanted to leave anyone behind, this was his chance to order it and save himself. The fact is that he is still arguing for and trying to lead with compassion as well as duty; the fact that he can't override the more selfish majority doesn't negate that.

I wish we could see his decision to go with Le Vesconte even though he so clearly believes that these lesser mutineers are in the wrong; I know why we don't. I like to think that it's because he believes he's doing the best thing for all, that he knows one semi-able bodied man staying behind is not going to help anyone, and that by going south with the group he may be to able to sway them, or find game for the ill. But again - he has been put in a position where there is no right choice, and where any authority he had has been too far eroded to matter.

Regardless: we go from his vehement protestation that they must a) rescue their captain and b) not leave behind the ill to die to this:

A man completely broken, weathered almost beyond recognition, with his flesh pierced by and draped with the chains of watch fobs. That's fobs plural: they're clearly different chains, from different watches, from different men. But in still uniform. Because he clung to the to his identity, to hope, to grounding structure of the Navy in which he trained and believed, until the very end.

We don't know what happens in between. Is it madness? Did the mutineers do this to him? Is it penance? A memorization of the men whose watches those were? A punishment on himself for what happened on his watch - despite the fact that really, he was powerless to stop it? And this is the only watch he can keep now - watch chains in his face, his eyes forced open to the horrors. Or did 1st Lt. Edward Little spend so long suppressing his anger, marrying that anger to hope, being responsible, keeping confidences, bearing all that alone, with authority that is both shoved on him and disregarded - did he finally snap? Are the chains not a decoration, not a punishment, but an attempt to literally bind himself up and tack himself down to this terrible world where he’s found himself?

All we know for certain is his last word - “Close?” Close to what? To death? To salvation? The only comfort either Edward Little or we, the audience, will get - is that at the very end, his captain was there to release him from the duty to which he clung for so long, so fiercely, with so much hope.

#the terror amc #edward little #francis crozier #i did not mean for this to be so long #but i have many thoughts and feelings as you know now #matthew mcnulty i just want to talk

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natashatrace · 11 months

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FUBAR 1x04 | Armed & Dane-gerous

"A few years ago, I was stationed in Greece and I had a very passionate fling with a beautiful NIS officer named Diana, but we had to break it off. Diana was crushed. She became obsessed with me."

#fubaredit #fubar #aldon reese #emma brunner #aldonemma #monica barbaro #travis van winkle #netflixedit #cinematv #filmtv #televisiongifs #userpayton #underbetelgeuse #monica's sideeye in this series is my actual favorite thing #myedit

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emylilas · 10 months

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I had forgotten that moment in 1x04 when Duretti walks into the office to have a word with Vincent and Superion, and both Vincent and Duretti walk to the main chair. Knowing everything we know now, it is very satisfying to watch Vincent being forced to abandon the position of the man in charge. And it's definitely nice to see Superion's development.

Their fight for power takes place in front of Superion who doesn't once believe she's the one who deserves this position, she just stands by, waiting for the men to stop their competition of ego (fighting about who should manage the OCS) and actually do something about their current problem. A lot like at the beginning of S2, when she's waiting for Duretti to give them directions on how to handle Adriel and the FBC, except her frustration has grown and she's considering finding new ways to deal with the OCS because she's done with men putting their thirst for power before the safety of her girls.

And she finds new ways to lead the OCS, takes her position as the person in charge and doing so she differs from Vincent in S1. She doesn't give orders, she meets with her sisters and the scientist who's joined the group and they decide, together, what comes next and how the plan should go. She's the one making the OCS enter a new era, focusing on equality and respect, two things she's not giving in S1 (she's not Duretti's equal in many ways, and Vincent doesn't treat as such either). She takes back what's rightfully hers as her own sense of worth improves with the women surrounding her. Talk about empowerment through relationships!

It wouldn't make any sense for her character and the OCS to find back their old days of functioning after S2. Men driven by power and their own ambition no longer belong in the OCS — they could try getting elected as new Pope, there's probably a cardinal shortage at the moment, they need candidates.

#warrior nun #mother superion #father Vincent #cardinal duretti

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thirteenemeraldcats · 3 months

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in one of your tags you mentioned-

'one of the things that gets chatted about A LOT in teaching is meeting students at their point of need- which ted does NOT do with jamie'

I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this! Both in terms of what that concept entails, and also what you think Jamie's point of need was at the time versus what Ted saw the situation needing

(You have excellent tags btw, don't know if anyone's mentioned that)

I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON THIS THAT I LOVE THAT YOU'D LOVE TO HEAR!

(I have more thoughts than I anticipated, this got errr, long. Whoops)

(potentially necessary/relevant background here is I am a high school teacher 👋)

Okie dokie, so, one of the principles of best practice in teaching is the idea I tag-rambled above; meet both the individual students and collective class at their point of need. Essentially this means practising differentiation in teaching and adjusting how content/ideas are communicated to students based on who they are as learners and people. Particularly if a student is performing outside the 'average' (either exceeding or still developing), this means adjusting to their needs by (among other things) curating differentiated resources and adapting delivery style. Differentiation is especially important in an all-abilities classroom, unfortunately public education is perpetually underfunded and overcrowded so everyone's just out here doing their best (the decent people of the world at least). BUT! WHILE I'M ON IT! SPEAKING OF THE THINGS I'VE TAG RAMBLED, the education system's (global) inability to adequately differentiate for students of different-abilities, particularly students with ADHD, ASD and Dyslexia, is perhaps the greatest failing of the whole dang thing and if anyone who ever stumbles across this is neuro-divergent and feels like they were a bad student or couldn't 'keep up' in mainstream education- THAT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. You don't have to break yourself to 'fit', school is MEANT to bend for you. (Particularly when you're young, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG)

ANYWAY, the fictional football of it all!

We don't see a lot of Ted actually coaching in this show (stick with me). The scenes in which he 'coaches' are typically him and various other coaching staff standing on the sidelines while the team skirmishes or occasionally runs drills, so me saying Ted doesn't differentiate is more based around his patented Ted-talks. NOW, Ted PROBABLY knows the team fairly well as individuals, particularly in season 2 and 3, purely by having spent quite a lot of time with them, despite this the only times we really see him 'adjust' his style with the team are ironically season 1 (examples include conferencing Jamie and Roy in 1x04 For The Children, and allowing/facilitating Nate's speech in 1x07 Make Rebecca Great Again). The moment that always sticks out to me as most significant is when he goes and seeks out Keeley's advice on how to get through to Jamie in 1x02 Biscuits.

Side note: I will be forever obsessed with Keeley jumping straight from 'blowjobs' to one of the four operant conditioning techniques (positive reinforcement) when asked about this. That woman is a very fascinating puzzle of a person.

Ted recognises that his typical perpetual-optimism-style isn't cracking the Jamie-Tartt-nut and seeks out a different opinion. This kind of collaboration and whole-system approach is key in teaching too, either by tapping the knowledge-well of a student's broader school context or the difficult-to-crack student's parents.

SO, having gotten the Jamie-Tartt-cheat-code from Keeley he DOES meet Jamie at his point of need, speaks clearly to him and communicates what he needs from him. AND IT WORKS! Temporarily! During the conversation between the two in Ted's office we see Jamie engage, he even practises self-reflection! Granted it's about his left foot cross, but still! The nut is cracked.

Jamie even maintains the perspective Ted has taught him for about two seconds while talking to Trent, until Jamie's other (definitely not positively-reinforced) behaviours rear up and he reverts to what James others have taught him.

On the other hand.

Multiple times throughout the show we see Jamie be visibly or verbally confused by Ted's communication style. Ted often talks in meandering metaphors that Jamie doesn't seem to be able to follow. We verbally hear him state 'Why doesn't he just say that then, do you know what I mean?' in 2x07 Headspace after Beard has to translate Ted's 'peas and carrots/beefchunks' analogy to 'starters and reserves'. Then there's the infamous 'What the fuck are Denver Broncos?' from 3x09 La Locker Room Aux Folles. The only notable time we really see Jamie 'get' one of these metaphors is the sewer-system-tunnels from 3x01 Smells Like Mean Spirit.

(His understanding of that specific metaphor, along with his use of the magnets to demonstrate total football in 3x07 The Strings That Bind, and a Watsonian-perspective of his near perfect mimicry of movements he saw two years ago when executing the decoy play in 3x12 So Long, Farewell, are actually all examples I use to head-canon Jamie as a primarily visual/physical based learner. For whatever that's worth!)

NOW! Ted's willingness to seek and apply alternate techniques in season 1 when he should know the team as both individuals and a collective the least, coupled with his inability or unwillingness to practise differentiation in later seasons when he DOES KNOW THEM is why I don't think Ted is meeting the team, specifically Jamie at their/his point of need. Any person's ability to differentiate behaviour to meet the needs/requirements/comforts of the individual or group they're talking to is increased the more they know them. (We all do this in life, consciously or subconsciously we typically try and 'match the vibe' of whoever we're communicating with [doubly so for people who're engaging in masking.])

Ted should and does learn more about Jamie as a person and his background as the show progresses. He listens to Jamie vocalise both his internal justifications for his actions and his reflections of those justifications/actions in 1x06 Two Aces, he sees him being explicitly physically abused in 1x10 The Hope That Kills You, he listens to him describe a spiralling mindset in 2x02 Lavender, he sees him being explicitly verbally abused in 2x08 Man City.

Of course, one of the fascinating things about Jamie is how much he learns and grows over the course of the show, and there are instances in which I don't think Ted is recognising that (primarily his dismissal of Jamie in 3x03 4-5-1 and not utilising Jamie's knowledge of total football as a resource from the beginning in 3x07 The Strings That Bind).

Ted understands and has previously applied Jamie responding well to positive reinforcement, yet at multiple times in the series doesn't respond in a way that reflects his perspective being informed by that knowledge. Essentially not practising the appropriate level of care/caution when interacting with/around Jamie.

There's not intervening on Jamie's behalf in 2x03 Do the Right-est Thing or 2x06 The Signal when the team and Roy are targeting or ignoring him respectively. The assumed absence of any follow up to the events of 2x08 Man City, the Zava of it all in season 3, and of course the eternal 'forgiveness' kicker from 3x11 Mom City.

POINT BEING. And to actually answer your inquiry lol, I think Jamie is someone who needs clear communication, ideally bracketed in positive reinforcement based operant conditioning as a learning technique (reward behaviour you want reinforced by offering something desirable [praise in Jamie's case]) and visual/physical aid/references for concepts; as a LEARNER.

AS A PERSON, there's more. Ted can readily infer from all he's heard and seen that Jamie's a victim of child abuse. The long term damage to the adult psyche that abuse during formative years has is astronomical, it literally changes the foundational structures of a person's brain. And yet, again, we never see Ted even acknowledge this. Jamie in 3x11 Mom City, incidentally compares his father to Freddy Krueger, Ted elaborates on the comparison, then Jamie reiterates that Freddy Krueger's 'fucking terrifying'. Ted doesn't reassure Jamie (the requirement of his point of need), he gives him a Ted-talk (and in doing so doesn't differentiate his perspective/communication technique).

As far as what Ted thought the situation needed... search me I've got no idea. I do think Ted projects onto Jamie a hell of a lot. That he gets Jamie's personhood and life experiences all tangled up in the emotions he has about his father's death and his consequent perceived abandonment, his insecurities about his own ability to parent Henry and even in his own inability to clearly communicate with his mother. I do think Ted relies on his own forced optimism to 'get by'. Like how a great white shark dies if it stops swimming, if Ted stops being 'Ted', if he stops swimming, his past and his fears and his feelings will catch up to him and swallow him whole. (For what it's worth, I do think Ted is more unwell than even the show explicitly tells us, much like Jamie experiencing ongoing trauma due to childhood abuse, the effects both short-term and long-term as well as potential causalities of having a parent die by suicide are... grim.)

(Essentially the entire fandom has talked about basically all of this at one point or another, I'm just using slightly different language.)

NOW! These characters are fictional (obviously) and I am judging them based on real-people conventions and the best-principles of my own profession, as well as my background in theoretical psychology (which I think I forgot to mention and is also probably [??] relevant). My Doylist-perspective of Ted and his coaching/communication style is ...kinder, but if I get too sucked into the narrative it results in either brief tag-rambles or... whatever this thing I've just typed is. I think it's been too long since I've written academically, my thoughts have gone circular 🫠

ANYWAY! I hope this made something-approaching sense! Thank you again for asking to hear my thoughts! Always happy to word vomit!

ALSO, thank you for saying my tags are excellent (you are the first and currently only to say so!) - The tags are where I send my thoughts to die (in a 'I must banish them to move on' kind of way rather than a 'I'm strangling them' kind of way) so you saying they're excellent is even MORE flattering than you realise! Makes my brain want to purr 💚🤣

#what do i even begin to tag this slab of text as YEESH #ted lasso #jamie tartt #theodore lasso #ask box is always open #come hit me up for teaching rambles or psych rambles or fandom rambles or general rambles ANYTIME #readwing #jamiesfootball #oh shit trigger warnings #suicide #child abuse #if this indeed makes no sense i would like to blame it on the fact i've written it while drinking wine through a straw #(it's my friday night okay)#i'll post this in the morning when i've had the chance to read it while NOT drinking wine through a straw #hola- it is now morning and i'm only slightly hungover! win!

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ouatsqincorrect · 6 months

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some details from 1x04

1. I’m pretty sure that’s a dentist office behind Emma. this doesn’t really mean anything in terms of the show, but I’ve always kind of wondered where their dentist is lol so it’s nice to know it’s on main street

2. we’ve also got a greek restaurant across the street, next to Dave’s fish and chips

3. the newspaper Emma is reading here has a picture of David and is titled “coma patient wakes up”

4. washing or drying your clothes at Granny’s costs $1.25 and soap and bleach cost 50¢. again not really important, just another little detail showing how Storybrooke is stuck in time

5. there’s a little sign that tells us rumple has an alarm system for the shop, but also no alarm goes off when ashley enters? maybe it just like…alerts him somehow

6. this is really hard to see but we have our second hidden Mickey here

7. Henry is reading Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk #1 from 2005, which is actually a nod to ouat producer Damon Lindelof (he wrote this comic—he also co-created lost)

8. emma has a laptop! and her baby blanket is behind her

9. her blue leather jacket is on the box, which I guess is obvious since she picks it up from there—I just never noticed it before

10. Henry’s got a bunch of board games on this shelf, and some fancy ass leather bound books I can only assume Regina got him, unless he just likes leather bound books, which I guess with this kid, it’s entirely possible

11. a rubik's cube! like the one in Emma’s apartment back in Boston

#ouat rambles

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emonydeborah · 8 months

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snw episodes rated by Una

in which Una is my unit of measurement, not that this is what she would think of the events

All from memory bc who has time

SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING

1x01: she’s literally the catalyst for getting Chris off his butt and the whole episode. Barely in it but she did all the detective work for everybody. “Somehow I knew you would” with the little smile and “La’an!” in the softest voice immediately established both relationships and my abiding love for her. She’s literally driving the plot but still not there much; 6/10.

1x02: she shares some LooksTM with Chris. Chris was slightly subdued at one (1) dinner party and Una went something is deeply wrong. Chris is sad and Una tells him to live his gosh darn life. Pretty sure she flies the ship a bit. She’s here. Can’t complain. 6/10.

1x03: OOOOHOHO here we go. Whatever camera angle it is that shoots from the floor to watch people walk away and makes them look tall was excellently utilized. Girl was STRIDING everywhere. Hauled a grown man over her shoulder and was greeted with the shock and awe she deserved. Told her biggest secret (!!!!) to help the crew!!! bc she would sacrifice herself for them!!!!! also she googled her glowworm episode like it had not happened her whole life (which I will accept as a writer thing. but she really looked at a picture of someone glowing bc of an infection and went 😮). Girlie managed a whole ship of sedated/crazy people and did not let anyone jump into the sun/warp core. Had a deep talk with La’an and revealed more of their shared history. Stunning. 10/10.

1x04 another case of I can’t complain. As my favorite character I want her to be happy, but I will take some internal bleeding and other catastrophic injuries. As a treat. The sheer power of ordering the medical staff to give away her blood transfusion and then knocking herself out before they could argue. Unparalleled. Had no impact on the main plot but what she did do in her sphere of influence was important and exemplary. I’ll take it. 7/10.

1x05: back at it again with the b-plot but I AM HERE FOR IT. GIVE ME LA’AN AND UNA BEING GOOFY. Loved the death glare at Joseph so he would confess and how she pretended not to be huffy about her nickname. La’an went can we… play a game… and Una went YEs sounds educational. For science. The look of absolute shock and betrayal when La’an shot her and her little “ow.” “People are idiots. You’re fun.” La’an went lol my childhood was a bleak horror scape and Una went absolutely NOT I’m going to commit crimes to rectify this. I like people having wacky misadventures while the plot is plotting somewhere. 8/10.

1x06 Chris forgot her name. She had to leave so she wouldn’t verbally tear him to shreds in front of his crew. Most likely explanation. Where was she I miss her. 4/10.

1x07: she locked the pirates out of the ship!!! We love a competent first officer shooting people on her bridge. She shook her head half an inch and Spock went absolutely whatever you say. Chris was thrown to the floor in front of her and she crossed her arms and watched him get up. “We’re starting a mutiny.” "Someone's breaking the rules today." Legitimately appreciated her teamwork with Chris in planting the mutiny idea. Would love to see it again sometime. 7/10.

1x08: bow and arrow. She checked on Joseph after and I appreciated that they carried that through from her finding out about Rukiya before. Una was here but she wasn't Una. Also. If we're real she wasn't really there. I liked the eye shadow though. 5/10.

1x09: "you should really try the omelet." The breakfast scene is my favorite and in fact the only scene. Nothing else happened with Hemmer or Spock or anyone. Really short episode. I would have liked to have seen her face when Chris snapped the tongs. She tried to follow the shuttle to the surface with scans and Chris went nah babe we're fine. Let her do her job Chris. Breakfast scene 10/10. Episode 5/10.

1x10: notable by her absence. She checked on Chris and once again told him to live his life. She's not there in the future but I won't take points for that because Chris immediately went where is my bestie. I cannot function without my work wife where is she. Her arrest kick-started the series and for our cliffhanger she was arrested again. I'm sensing a theme. What will they incarcerate her for next and how will Chris break her out this time. I will always appreciate Chris going absolutely feral for his first officer/life partner. 9/10.

2x01: prison. She tells Chris not to be stupid and he goes don't tell me what to do *cough* I love you *cough* Not a strong start for our girl but I trust her to overcome. Once again Chris is going off on a mission to save her. Lost points for the brevity of her appearance and the weird black jumpsuit. 4/10.

2x02: Girl sat in a chair and watched her friends say nice things about her for days. I would shrivel up and die. Una looks teary. Her lawyer put some heat on a guy who said he would NEVER hire Una if he knew her real race and Una said that was too mean leave him alone. La'an confessed her feelings in public. Spock gave the whole courtroom a heart attack to make Una smile. Chris hugged her looking panicky. please don't go away again. Una looked at Chris like she wanted to kiss him or perhaps sip one milkshake through two straws. The whole episode is about how great she is. 15/10.

2x03: unfortunately for most of this episode she did not exist. Liked the professional and sassy attitude towards Pelia but I must reduce points for Una not existing. 2/10.

2x04: Una succumbed to a disease she should canonically be immune to. Fridged almost immediately. Chris said I need some good fighters and took his doctor instead of his super strong first officer who was familiar with the terrain. Una called Chris out on relationship nonsense like the og she is but this cannot repair the damage. Drove me to writing fix-it fic. -10/10.

2x05: Una is canonically one of the girls. She hangs out with some very specific junior officers including her emotionally constipated son and her traumatized daughter. She laughs very loudly and I like to think the writers are purposefully making her more open now that people know her genetics secret. Tells Mr. Spock how to be a Vulcan. Part of a lineup to talk to Spock and is a head taller than the rest of the line. All in all a great time. 9/10.

2x06: she yells at her former professor who is also thousands of years old. I would simply perish. "yoU HaVe CruMBs oN yOuR uNifOrM" Starfleet said we need someone to get this defunct and thus far unmanageable station up and running. Send Una. "Oh good, I was afraid I'd miss the speech." Rebecca Romijn note- she is nine inches taller than Carol Kane, but she manages to look/act a lot younger and smaller than normal. Pelia takes about 14 seconds to get Una teary eyed. "My final paper was METICULOUSLY researched." 8/10.

2x07: "That's ridiculous, we can't just 'Not Look.'" "Like... a p i n - u p p o s t e r?" Girl is constantly baffled the whole time. One (1) young man was unnerved by her and she went he knows how I die. She then winked at him and he almost had a stroke. We see a picture of her as she is idolized in the future. Excellent. Different flavor than 2x06 but still 8/10.

2x08: lots of Significant Eye Contact with Chris. She said if you don't get this ship where it's going asap I will revoke your command and drive us there myself. "Everyone is on their own journey." I feel like she knows Joseph murdered a man in sickbay but we don't know for sure. She's out here being a competent first officer and telling the captain how the crew is feeling. I like the reminder of her priorities. Chris is here to explore and it's Una's job to make sure he has a functional crew to do so. 6/10.

2x09: Una Chin-Riley, musical theater nerd, had the absolute time of her life and I am so happy for her. Girl JUMPED into that first song with much soulful pushing of buttons. "A surprisingly beautiful baritone." Chris asked Uhura the singer how musicals work and Una answered. Is feeling her feelings so much these days she started singing about her job. Waltzed through the halls with James T Kirk. La'an went I would like to not do this please and Una said feel your feelings. Fly away with me. Accept yourself. Love yourself. "You came in here hot. On fire. It's making me sweat." The whole ship is singing and La'an is making friends. This was the best day of Una's life. 1000/10.

2x10: Una volunteered for a dangerous forbidden mission to save her husband's gf and spent the whole time stalking around the bridge like a tiger or a mom looking for sales at Target and giving hopeful speeches. She did tell Spock his gf might be dead but if you want to look for her go for it champ. "ORDERS CAPTAIN" Chris is hanging on by a thread. Una is the thread. Not a great end if I'm honest but she did look fantastic walking around murderously. 5/10.

#snw #snw spoilers #una chin riley #this took me days #there was a lot to consider #strange new worlds #pikeuna #do these rating match my opinions of the episodes? not necessarily #but do they directly correlate to my mood while watching them?#yes #and yes that’s the second time I’ve linked that same fic #I have strong feelings

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hosseinis · 8 months

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commander william t. riker in every episode ★ 1x04, code of honor

First Officer's log, supplemental. Captain Picard, faced with a critical need for a vaccine produced on this planet, has permitted Lieutenant Natasha Yar to engage in a fight to the death. I have yet to understand his reasoning or his plan.

#startrekgifs #startrekdaily #startrekedit #tngedit #william riker #star trek #tng #jonathan frakes #rikerseries #star trek the next generation #star trek tng #happy birthday jonathan frakes #i am SO sorry your birthday gifset is your bitter enemy #also all of the 'HE'S A BABY?' and 'HE'S SO YOUNG' tags on this series are making me so happy #yes...... beardless riker be upon ye #my edits #number one

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lolatlolatlolat · 1 year

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Why I want Tim to be the first to say “I love you”

I know people may argue “actions speak louder than words”, but sometimes you just need to hear someone say it…here is a list of compliments both Tim and Lucy have said about one another:

LUCY

1x04: “He is calculating, not cruel”

2x03: “I know he can come off as this smug, hard ass, but deep down he has a really good heart.”

4x09: "I know, you're nothing like him [Tim's father]. Come here, you're nothing like him."

4x10: “Kojo is kind of like Tim; he’s big, gruff, a whole lot of bark but underneath all of it he is a sweetheart.”

5x10: “Of course I’m scared. If we do this and it doesn’t work, I’ll have ruined the most important relationship in my life.”

5x12: “I know exactly how I feel, I mean this is the most amazing relationship I’ve been in since…ever!”

5x13: “As he should, you’re amazing.”

TIM

2x12: “I see it [the DOD tattoo] as proof that you are a survivor.”

3x09: "Officer Chen impressed me with every decision she made today, I will miss riding with her."

3x11: "You are a kind and insightful person. You see the good in people...and who knows one day she [Officer Barnes] might be as good as you."

4x14: "You're a good cop. Maybe one of the top five I've ever trained. I want you to have a successful career...you deserve to be recognized."

5x08: “Lucy, you deserve someone that’s worth the effort.”

5x12: "We wouldn't have lied, but we needed time to figure out how we felt. [When asked if it is serious] It is."

I just feel a lot of the nice things Tim has said out loud about Lucy have been work/talent related...I want to hear him gush over her, the way Lucy has about him. I know his love language is 'acts of service' so I would love him to step up his game with 'words of affirmation' and say ILY first.

#chenford #tim bradford x lucy chen #tim bradford #lucy chen #the rookie #tim x lucy #tucy

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haee-elia · 1 year

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1x04 - plain sight

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (reader is non-bau agent)

summary: in which spencer reid gets some advice to ask out his best friend as a gift on his birthday

word count: 3684 (HOW DO THESE JUST KEEP GETTING LONGER)

warnings: mentions of tommy killer (he r*ped and killed) although no mention directly of his crimes. no gore or descriptive language

a/n: wow! i’ve written so much in these past few weeks, wowee! i’ve planned the next few episodes and i’m really excited to get started on a few of them. i am currently rewatching criminal minds and planning as i watch each episode again (this is my third time going through the entire series)

i just wanna say, thanks for so much of the support whether you’re a lurker, you’ve liked, reblogged, or commented. i very much appreciate just overall any love on my writing!

here’s the masterlist of the rest of the one shots

and here’s the premise of what i’m doing

You had a very large smile on your face as you stood behind Spencer, standing next to Elle, JJ, and Morgan singing the BAU’s resident genius a very, very happy birthday.

Although you weren’t part of the BAU team, you were extremely close to all the younger members of the team. So much so that Agent Gideon and Agent Hotchner didn’t even blink twice if they saw you in the bullpen, accompanying one of the team members. You had first met the BAU team members through one of your best friends at the bureau, Penelope Garcia.

Outside of the office, you enjoyed baking pastries, desserts, and other goods and you would often bring them to work and drop them off in the various break rooms around the buildings. You didn’t realize that Penelope enjoyed your cupcakes enough to devise a hunt on who was leaving the baked goods and to say you were mildly surprised that random Tuesday morning bringing in brownies after baking them the night before.

It was safe to say you became fast friends with eclectic and funky technical analyst. Penelope then introduced you to the BAU and you found that you fit right in. You and Morgan often reminisced about both of your fathers that died on duty to their respective police departments. You and JJ enjoyed organizing a 1 on 1 game of soccer to get a quick workout in. You and Elle, the newest addition to the BAU team, traded family recipes, both coming from Spanish households.

However, there was one member of the team that the moment you met, you just clicked with, even more than Penelope. That member was Dr. Spencer Reid, the young 23, now 24, year old genius who was a better expert in anything than anyone you had ever met.

On weekends when the BAU didn’t have a case, you and Spencer would get a coffee and walk around bookshops in the D.C. area. If you saw a documentary or play being held nearby, you would check with Spencer if he wanted to join you. When he found out you couldn’t ride a bike, he offered to teach you and took you to the park where you spent the day laughing and bonding over scrapped knees. Sometimes, you would walk into the bullpen and Spencer would have a new factoid about baking and others, he would have a whole new recipe that he thought you might like. You two just meshed together really well.

Spencer, who seemed more awkward and shy at first, quickly opened up to you once you made it known that you didn’t care if he rambled on about something new he learned or that you didn’t find it weird how he could read quickly yet didn’t fully trust new technology.

You, who struggled with people pleasing and perfectionism, weren’t afraid to show flaws and mistakes in front of Spencer who encouraged you that your slightly lopsided souffle still tasted great and that the neighbor at your apartment complex who you had spent a year and a half to befriend wasn’t worth your time or effort anymore.

Unfortunately, being so close with Spencer meant you knew all of him and it was impossible to squash the blazing crush your heart and mind had set on him. Both of you were single and it technically wasn’t prohibited to date within the bureau if you were on different teams, like you and Spencer are, but after knowing the man for about a year and a half and spending so much time with him, you were almost sure he wasn’t interested in you.

He hadn’t made any move to ask you out or turn any of your regular outings into a date and you were being incredibly not subtle about your affections on the young genius to the point that you would definitely question his ability as a profiler if he wasn’t able to pinpoint your adoration and crush on him.

The smartest thing for you to do would be to distance yourself from Spencer and maybe try and get over him by going on dates, but everytime you thought about doing so, you would get a call from Spencer and it was like your heart couldn’t tell him no.

Which brought you to present day, singing happy birthday and celebrating Spencer’s 24th birthday with the rest of the BAU team. Spencer, dressed in a checkerboard light blue shirt with a ridiculous birthday hat shaped like a cartoon birthday cake that Derek had bought for him, was sitting at his desk in front of a cake you had made him.

As you ended the celebratory happy birthday song, you watched as Spencer went to blow out the candles and they kept relighting.

Derek was jokingly mocking him, telling him he was full of hot air, and JJ and Elle were laughing quietly as Spencer kept blowing at the candles.

You decide to take some pity on the situation and tell him, “Spence,” You address, not noting the way Spencer immediately looked towards you when you called him, “They’re trick candles that Derek bought. No matter how much blowing they’ll never go out.”

Derek awed now that his prank was done and JJ left briefly to go get a cup of water to be able to put the still lit candles out. You just came up closer to Spencer.

“Happy birthday, Spence!” You wish him as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him from behind. It was a bit awkward since he was sitting down and you were standing up, but his height made it easier.

As JJ came back and took off the candles, Elle was ready with the cake knife that you had brought along with the cake, paper plates, and utensils.

“Aw, come on,” Derek playfully complained as he saw the inside of the cake, “Vanilla? Really, that’s so boring!” He said even though his eyes told a different story.

You chuckled and patted Spencer’s shoulders with your hands before moving to help Elle get slices cut for everyone, “Alright, Derek. When it’s your birthday, you get to choose the flavor.” You reprimand him, equally as playful in tone.

“And,” You add, “Vanilla isn’t boring. A good vanilla is the best flavor there it.” You hand off one of the paper plates to Spencer who looked ready to dig into his favorite flavor of cake.

He nodded along to what you were saying as well, “Did you know that when vanilla first left Mexico in the early 1500s, it was thought to only have value as an ingredient and aromatic in perfumes? It wasn’t until 1519 that it was discovered to the Spaniards to be useful as a flavoring.”

You smiled, “No, I didn’t know. That’s really cool. Vanilla is one of my favorite flavors to bake with.” You say, “Did you know that vanilla is still the most popular ice cream flavor in the U.S?”

Spencer nodded, his mouth chewing the moist vanilla cake that you had made the night before in preparation of his birthday.

In fact, he was actually over at your apartment as you baked his cake. You at first argued against him being there, wanting his cake to be a surprise, but he convinced you that you were only baking the cakes that night and you were going to wait to frost it in the morning. And of course, you couldn’t say no to Spencer so he sat on one of your barstools as you mixed up ingredients for the vanilla cake batter. He also licked the spatula and bowl clean afterwards and you allowed it because he was the birthday boy (you also couldn’t say no to Spence).

“Oh my god,” You heard Elle say, “This is the best cake I’ve ever had.”

JJ and Derek chuckled and you beamed under the praise, “Just wait until your birthday, Elle. I’ll make you that Caramel Flan recipe you gave me.”

“I would literally kiss you.” She stated, her eyes widened just with the thought of the delicious Cuban dessert.

“Pucker up,” You joked and turned your cheek to Elle, leaning your cheek closer and tapping on it. All of you laughed and JJ and Derek broke off in conversation with Elle about the other cakes and desserts you had made them for their birthdays.

“I don’t think I’ve told you thank you,” Spencer says to you while picking at his cake slice, “Thanks for making my cake and for doing all this,” He gestures to the small birthday decorations around his desk.

You shrugged it off, “Spence, you are my best friend, of course I would do all this. Plus, it was my treat.”

Spencer blushed, an easy and common occurrence, “Don’t let Penelope hear you call me your best friend.” He playfully warned, pointing the end of his fork at you jokingly.

You both chuckled, “I would never hear the end of it, that’s for sure.” You stand up straighter and exclaim, “Oh!”

You move around Spencer’s desk and he watches as you bend down and reveal a bag, being grasped in your hand.

Spencer once again pointed his fork at you, “We agreed on no gifts.” He stated, eyeing the bag you were holding that had a big happy birthday text on the front surrounded by glitter.

“You agreed on no gifts.” You replied, handing the bag off to your best friend, “I said no such thing.”

He pulled the first thing out of the bag, it was a pack of socks. Funky socks that you had found at different thriftstores.

“That’s just to add to your sock collection.” You say as he inspects them, you point down at his own socks that he’s wearing right now, “You can mix and match them all you like.”

He grins and compliments your taste, looking at the cool patterns, before reaching again into the bag and pulling out a navy blue neck pillow.

“For the long plane rides. So your neck doesn’t ache as badly.” You explain.

He thanks you and places it on his desk, pulling out the next gift. It was just a simple Barnes & Noble gift card. You made sure you didn’t pick a card that would show the price because you knew Spencer would scold you for giving him $100 to spend on books.

“You’ve mentioned some new books coming out soon.” You simply state. “There’s one more thing in there.”

The last thing in the gift bag was a special item, something that you would never dare tell Spencer what you paid for it. It was a book light, one that could be wrapped around his neck and then beamed warmer light, not fluorescent brightness.

You smile, “You told me about how you had to get reading glasses the other day because your eyes were straining a lot when reading. I saw this and thought the warmer light could help with the eye straining and you could read better.”

He returned your smile, looking down at the light and checking it out.

“It’s some new technology or something, but I swear it’s super simple. All you have to do is press the button on the side and it uses batteries. I think you can dim it too.” You explain.

“I-I don’t know what to say,” He stutters, “This has to be the most thoughtful gift I’ve gotten in a long time.” He says.

You don’t say anything, knowing he was probably thinking about his mother and how she is living in the care facility all the way back in Las Vegas.

You kiss the top of his head, “Happy Birthday, Spence.” You say.

The birthday celebration is shortly lived when Agent Gideon and Agent Hotchner walk over to your group gathered at Spencer’s desk.

“Sorry, guys, the party’s over.” Agent Hotchner says, “We’re going to San Diego.”

The team sulks and wishes Spencer once more, a happy birthday and then splits off, going to get ready to fly out. You clean up the mess from the cake left behind and smile at Spencer as he also debates on leaving you here, alone.

“I’ll see you when you get back, Spence.” You say, gathering used plates and utensils, “We can go grab some takeout or something.”

“I-I’d love that.” He says as he grabs his gifts and his satchel bag, “I’ll, um, call you when we’re landing.”

You nod and wave to him as he leaves the bullpen area, leaving your aching heart behind as well.

Later, Spencer sits with Elle waiting for the unsub to call into the San Diego Police Department tip line after claiming they made an arrest to the Tommy Killer. An arrest that the BAU team knew they could orchestrate to lure out the real Tommy Killer.

Spencer ponders outloud, “Do you think it’s weird that I knew the ballad?” He asks Elle.

Derek had made a comment that Spencer knew was supposed to be a joke, but it still made him wonder. Is his vast database of knowledge a factor in why he doesn’t date or get dates? Does it make him unattractive or undesirable? Is it an annoyance? Do people just tolerate him?

Elle shakes her head, “I don’t know how it is that you know half the things you know but I’m glad you do.” She replies.

“Do you think it’s why I can’t get a date?” He prods again, wanting her opinion on the subject since she is a woman.

“You ever ask anyone out?” She prods back.

Spencer shakes his head, “No.” He responds.

Elle points at him, “That’s why you can’t get a date.” She states.

Spencer furrows his eyebrows, “How would one go about that?” He inquires, “Asking one out on, uh, on a date.” He shyly implores.

Elle seems a little shocked before she looks at him questioningly and sees him fiddle with his hands and then look down at his feet and smile. She follows his line of vision to see that Spencer had changed socks, specifically into the ones you had just given him for his birthday.

“Oh my god,” She says, realizing what Spencer was inherently asking, “You wanna ask out-”

She nearly points it verbally and Spencer sits up straighter and tenses up knowing what she is going to say, but he is saved by the bell, or at least by the ringing of a phone.

“Detective Martin.” He hears the man introduce himself to hopefully would be the real Tommy Killer. Spencer moves out of his seat quickly and towards the detective on call, leaving Elle speechless and a little bit flabbergasted by the deduction she made. His heart slowly calms down and he wipes his hands on his pants before gladly moving focus to the case.

God, he’s never been so thankful for a rageful unsub.

And finally, at the end of the Tommy Killer case on the plane with the rest of the team in bound for Quantico once again, Spencer sat against one of the comfortable BAU jet seats. It was a longer flight back home, from San Diego, California to Quantico, Virginia, but it sure did helped that they rode in style and comfortably.

He looked out one of the small airplane windows to see the night sky. He was putting your gifts to good use as well. The neck pillow was around his neck in a bulky manner, his socks that he wore were from the variety pack you had gotten him, and as Spencer rifled through his satchel bag to grab a book to read for the rest of the flight, he also gingerly took your gift in hand.

Spencer took the neck pillow off of the back of his head and stuffed it into his bag before taking out his latest book and the book light you had gotten him.

He was just setting it up to read his book when he heard a mix between a chuckle and a scoff from somewhere else on the plane. He turned to see Derek.

“Sorry, pretty boy,” Derek said, although his tone wasn’t sorry at all, “It’s just-” He gestured around his own neck and pointed at Spencer’s.

“This whole thing? C’mon boy genius, what even is that?” He asks while stifling a laugh.

Spencer can feel his face turn beet red and he quickly goes to defend his new gift, a gift that you gave him, “I-it helps reduce eye strain when reading!”

JJ pipes in and playfully shoves Derek’s shoulder, “Oh come on, Derek, lay off him. You know who gave it to him.”

Then Elle interjects, “Could this be the same person who Spencer wants to ask out?” She asks the group.

“Ask out?” JJ reiterates before getting a confirmation in the form of Elle nodding, “Oh my gosh, Spencer, you should totally ask her out!” She encourages.

“Do you even know how to ask someone out, pretty boy?” Derek teases. Spencer’s face, if possible, turns even more red as he goes to avoid the question.

The group took Spencer’s silence as a cry for help apparently, because next thing Spencer knows, all three are giving him advice on how to ask out someone. Advice that Spencer really didn’t need solicited to him.

“He should invite her over to his place!”

“No, no, no! Take her to a classy dinner!”

“What about a movie date?”

He sighs and puts his book and his new book light (which doesn’t fail to bring a smile to his face everytime he sees it) back in his satchel bag and gets up from his seat. The group of three don’t even notice Spencer walking to the other half of the plane, the more quiet end housing Hotch doing paperwork and Gideon sitting in front of a chess board.

He takes a seat in front of Gideon and inspects the chess board and the current state of both sides. Chess with Gideon made sense. He didn’t have people in his ear telling him what to do or nervousness creep up on him every time he saw a board. He knew chess. Chess was much more simple.

Gideon looks at Spencer for a bit and the two interchange pieces quickly and it isn’t long until half the board is gone and the game slows down a bit.

“Oh,” Gideon says before reaching into his pocket, “I almost forgot. I have something for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Spencer acknowledges, mostly focusing on the chess game at hand.

Gideon hands Spencer an envelope, “Forgot to give it to you at the party.” He simply explains.

Spencer is a bit confused, “But you don’t give birthday presents.” He states as a fact.

He opens the envelope and finds two tickets and he reads the header text on them out loud, “Sir Law Table?” He says. It only makes him more confused.

Gideon corrects his pronunciation with a smile, “Sur La Table.”

Spencer’s eyebrows furrow as he tries to make sense of the gift, “Thank you so much.”

“It’s a 6-week cooking course.” Gideon explains, “For two.” He adds. “Do you cook a lot?”

“I can’t say that I do.” Spencer responds.

Gideon waves off his confusion, “You’re gonna love it.”

“Sure,” Spencer replies, “Are you a good cook?”

“Yes, I like to think I am.” Giden chuckles, “But those tickets are not for you and me.” He points out.

Now this leaves Spencer even more confused, “They’re not?”

“No.”

“Who for then?” He inquires.

There’s a glimmer in his eye, a youthful and playful one that Spencer doesn’t quite recognize in Gideon, “For the only person in the world that calls you Spence.”

It leaves Spencer speechless, still holding the two tickets in his hand. Just at the mere mention of you, his hands start to clam up a bit and he can feel his heart starting to beat a little faster.

Gideon smirks, “It’s a perfect way to ask a girl out on a first date.”

“W-wh-what?” Spencer stutters. “B-b-but how do I-- what do I--,” He clears his throat and tries to verbally put together his racing thoughts, “What if she says no?”

“She won’t.” Gideon simply states. He leaves Spencer to the rest of his thoughts as he moves a pawn on the board.

It seems that Spencer has calmed his mind and thoughts as he glances at the tickets again, rubbing his fingers between the paper of the two raffle style tickets.

Gideon can see the cogs turning in the boy genius’s mind slowly start working at a normal speed again and it seems like Spencer has made up his own mind when he turns his attention back to the board, but only for a small second.

Spencer moves his bishop across the board and pauses to look up at Gideon with his own playful sparkle now in his eye, “Checkmate.” He says and then leaves Gideon to the thoughts of the game before returning to his own seat where his bag still stays.

Gideon watches as Spencer waves off the three younger BAU members and whatever they were wanting to say to the youngest member of the team.

It’s only a few hours later and after the BAU jet lands that Hotch, JJ, Elle, Derek, and Gideon gather around waiting for the elevator to arrive that they all turn around to now face the glass doors that enter into the bullpen to watch a very happy sight.

Spencer approaches you and says something that the group can’t quite make out so far away with some type of paper or papers in his hand, but its clear what the reaction is when you nod your head and gleefully respond to something that looks like a large yes and launch into Spencer with a gigantic hug.

You and Spencer are still intertwined in your hug when Spencer spots the rest of his team outside, watching through the glass doors. He gives Gideon a nod and mouths a thank you just as the elevator arrives to bring everyone home.

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