First Day of the Rest of Your Life
(TF141 & Reader Old Guard AU)
Call of Duty Masterlist
Rating: 16+
Wordcount: 4k
Tags: Old Guard AU, Immortals AU, Newly Immortal Reader, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Open Ending, Rescue Missions, Shadow Company, Major Character Death (non permanent)
Warnings: Forced Drugging, Character Death (and revival)
A/N: A silly little idea that I won't be continuing, but others are free to build off of
They’re not known by anyone but themselves.
Things like them shouldn’t exist. It goes against all laws of nature, to rise from dirt and to return. Yet somehow, the men you come to meet defy death itself, unable to be killed, to die a death that lasts long and forever.
And…
You come to realize you’re just like them.
But first, you have to die.
A “Shadow”, you’re called. One of many, under the authority of Commander Phillip Graves and his company. It’s a reluctant job, one that you took with little other option to settle old debts and to escape from a life that haunts you even now. Even so, you share a camaraderie with the men and women around you, bonds forged under mortar fire and bullet wounds.
Graves himself takes you under his wing, reluctant as you are, makes a point to check on you after missions, to tease you when he can, needling you and trying to make you roll your eyes at him. He likes getting under your skin, cracking jokes so your mouth twitches up as you suppress a smile. It’s hard not to like him with his charisma, but you can’t even shake the little bit of guardedness that remains ever present when you’re around him. You’re not friends, but you certainly aren’t enemies either. Comrades, perhaps.
That changes when you die.
You’re supporting SAS forces in their hunt for a known AQ leader, in a remote village, when your squad is ambushed. The desert sun bores down harshly on you all, and you find yourself squinting upwards when the first shot echoes out.
Graves is not far behind you as bullets begin to rain down on your position, leaning into his comms and barking orders. His eyes are focused with trained intent, finger on the trigger of his weapon, and when you catch his eyes he shoots you a wild grin.
You spot something out of the corner of your eye as you return fire- a woman and a child, hidden behind a low wall as she tries to cover him from the firefight. Her eyes are different. Scared, full of tears, her shoulders tight as he holds back her cries.
You shout for cover, instantly on your feet moving and diving for the pair. You shield her as you aid them both to safety, only for one of your squad to shout for you a moment too late.
The bullet goes straight through your heart.
You fall forward into the arid earth, watching the woman and her son be quickly escorted to shelter. The pang of relief you feel is stifled by the agony that laces through your veins, wet and viscous and much too warm. As you gasp, dying and bleeding out, the last thing you see is Graves’ face hovering over yours, steely and grim as your life gushes out onto his hands.
“Breathe, darlin’, breathe.”
You can’t. With every pulse of your heart you feel the sickening ooze of red spill from the gap in your chest. You wheeze, try to speak, but it’s too late. You hear him call for you as you go under, and your last thought is that you wish just had more time.
There’s a flash of something then- brief and vague, like the shimmering outline on the horizon. Four figures standing tall, turning to gaze at you before it all goes dark.
You wake up in the infirmary an hour or so later. Staring up at the medical tent and trying to process the fact that you’re alive.
Remarkably, you feel…fine?
A hand smooths over your chest, and you find no bullet hole at all. No gaping wound where your life force bled out of you. Perfectly healed.
It doesn’t make any sense, and you try to reconcile the sudden, agonizing pain and darkness with your unscathed state. You died. There’s no way you should be alive right now, much less without a horrible, life altering injury.
Graves pushes aside the tent flap and paces to your bedside with long strides. You expect him to look relieved, to smile and offer a joke to cover his concern. Instead, he appears guarded, cautious, like he no longer trusts you.
You flinch.
Graves watches you with wary eyes, and when you ask him if perhaps you dreamt it he doesn’t show any indication of shock. Instead, he crowds closer, gets in your personal space, and asks you what you remember. You tell him. You died…and then…and then…
Nothing.
This doesn’t satisfy him, and you can tell by the harsh light in his eyes. He smiles anyways, but you feel something curl in your stomach at the fact that it feels so sinister. Graves pats your shoulder and tells you to rest up, offers a little murmur of relief that doesn’t reach your ears.
You’re too busy looking at his eyes.
On his way out of the infirmary, Graves whispers something to the medic, who pales and tries to protest. Yet then Graves goes icy cold, and you feel a shiver run up your spine. He vanishes after that, and after a moment the medic appears with a syringe.
“This should help with the pain.” He offers with a wobbly smile.
“But…I’m not in pain.” You offer, brow knotted in confusion, but before you can offer anything else he holds out your arm and presses the needle to the inside of your elbow with practiced ease.
“W-wait-”
You look at the medic in confusion as he pulls back, and somehow when he presses on your shoulder you go flat on the bed with sluggish limbs.
“What-” You try, feeling something dark and liquid descend over your senses slowly.
“I’m sorry.” He offers, face pinched. “Please don’t die.”
You grab at him then, recognizing the injection too late for what it is, a lethal dose. You try to raise your voice, try to beg, but the soldier above you hushes you, murmurs apologies even as the newly familiar grip of death settles over you.
…And then, you wake up again
This time, however, you’re restrained. Your arms are above your head, shackled to the metal bars of the infirmary cot. There’s a dull ache that colors your senses, and when you try to raise your hand to rub at your head you find it immobile. Panic instantly rises within you, doubled by your prone position.
As you panic and struggle Graves appears and hovers over your bedside
“Feel like talkin now, soldier?” He asks, gaze cold.
He had you killed, you realize. He sent the medic to drug you, to test this newfound ability of yours to come back after apparent death. Now, he has you trapped under his mercy, eyes dark as he scrutinizes your restrained form.
You try to tell him you don’t know, you don’t understand, but you know he doesn’t believe you. Even after your babbling protests and attempts to explain, he remains unmoved.
At last, he sighs in frustration and turns away to the medic once more.
“Put em’ under.”
Terror grips at you. You scream, thrash, a primal fear screeching through your veins as you’re approached by the grim faced medic.
Then, the medical tent shakes with the force of a nearby explosion. Graves spins, eyes wide. Instantly, the base alarm begins to roar, nearly deafening the instant chatter of his radio. Graves is moving, barking order, growling at the two shadows who stand nearby.
“Prep for transport. We’re takin’ em to the general.”
Shepherd.
They’re moving you. They’re going to give you to Shepherd because of…whatever this is. Your instincts scream danger, and it only renews your effort to escape, thrashing at your restraints and screaming with all your might.
The two shadows press down on your struggling limbs- a hand snaking up to cover your mouth. You plead with teary eyes, desperately afraid, whimpering as the medic pushes the needle down into your arm once more. The overly warm rush of morphine slinks through your veins, draws your eyelids heavy against your will.
It’s at that moment that you see them.
Four armed figures sweep into the tent, and as the two soldiers spin and reach for their weapons. They're taken out before they can even shout for aid, two of the men instantly subduing the two guards, choking them into unconsciousness with heavy, muscular arms. A third points a weapon at the medic, growling as the man cowers.
A face hovers into view- Brown eyes a deeper color than his skin, warm gaze concerned even as he smiles. He’s handsome, a delirious part of your brain realizes as unconsciousness begins to descend over you.
“Nice to meet you, mate.” He tells you as you begin to fade. “Name’s Gaz. Don’t worry, we’ll be here when you wake up. We got it from here.”
You try to ask him what he means, but you’re gone before the words can pass your lips.
- - -
“I’m getting kind of tired of this.” You think as soon as you wake up for the third time in twelve or so hours, flat on your back and looking at the ceiling of a plane.
There’s a jacket covering you, and as you sit up your groan, feeling the remnants of morphine clear from the uncomfortable haze of your brain.
“Easy.” A gruff voice tells you, and your eyes dart up to take in the sight of a man sitting on a bench beside you, the airplane rattling around you both. “You’ve had a rough go of it, take it slow.”
“Who…?” You manage to ask, pressing a heel of your palm to the center of your eye to dispel the lingering headache, looking around to take in the other three men who sit in various stages of alertness. You take them in one by one, starting with the man beside you with the beard and the hat. He looks older than you suspect he is- the age showing in his eyes.
Beside him sits a man in a mask, the hard plastic of it in the shape of a skull. He blinks at you slow like a cat, and with his arms crossed he seems to take up so much space on the tiny aircraft.
Across from him sits a younger man with a mohawk, blue eyed and bright. He smiles at you, gaze twinkling as you blink in confusion.
Your eyes land on a familiar face. “...Gaz.” You offer uncertainly, and he beams at you.
“Right’o.” He tells you, and then nods to the man beside him. “And Soap-” The man in the mohawk gives a grin and a wave. “Ghost-” The man is the skull mask, arms crossed, regarding you coolly. “And Price.” The man who sits beside you, elbows on his knees, blue eyes staring keenly down at you.
You reply with your name purely out of politeness, but are unable to stop the tensing of your limbs as you slowly and cautiously press away from the four men who have kidnapped you.
The questions pour out of you before you can stop them. Who are they? Where are you? Where’s Shadow Company? Where are they taking you? How did you get here?
…Do they know you died?
The men before you exchange some looks of concern, before at last it’s Price who moves and settles on his haunches before you with a reassuring smile. He sits just out of reach, trying to respect your personal space as much as he can in the tiny plane.
“You’re safe.” Is the first thing he tells you, voice firm but soft. “We’ll make sure your commander can’t find you, so don’t you worry about that.”
“The rest will have to wait.” He goes on, offering you a hand to stand and helping you to a seat beside Gaz. “We’ll wait until we’re at our safehouse to tell you the rest.”
You swallow nervously, hands bunched in the jacket draped over your lap. Your mind desperately tries to understand what has happened, how you could have ended up here.
“He…killed me.” You manage shakily, remembering Graves standing over you as you woke up from the lethal rush of morphine. “Graves.”
Price looks grim as he nods silently.
“But…” You trail off, confused, scared, trembling. You look at him, wrapping your arms around yourself for comfort. “I’m…alive?”
“That you are.” Price replies with grave seriousness. “And you’re not dying anytime soon.”
You find out later that ‘soon’ doesn’t begin to describe what your life will become.
You have no option but to trust these men, you realize. You think about running, but you have no idea where you are, where they’ve taken you. As you’re gently escorted off the plane on an abandoned runway somewhere in the desert, you think about climbing back aboard and forcing the pilot to take you home.
There’s nothing back there for you, you realize. Not with your outstanding debts and mistakes, not when Graves will be able to track you down.
You curl into a corner of the safehouse- skittish and forlorn as you lose yourself in your thoughts. The others busy themselves disposing of their gear, talking in low voices, and you ignore the sympathetic looks they offer you.
Gaz settles in front of you, pushes a steaming mug of something warm into your hands, and you manage a grateful glance.
“Where are we?” You ask him quietly, and he gives you a worried little smile.
“A few hours outside Cairo. A safehouse. An old one.”
You hear Soap sneeze in another room, complaining about spiderwebs. It summons a weary smile to your features.
“Will you tell me what’s going on?” You ask quietly, and Gaz stands, offers you a hand so you rise with him.
“Of course.” He tells you, and places a hand on your shoulder to guide you in the direction of the brightly lit kitchen. “But first? Dinner. Can’t have you starve to death.”
“Will that actually kill me?” You think, but offer no other reply
Dinner is a mix of MREs and canned fruit from one of the cabinets. You watch as Ghost passes his pineapple pieces over to Soap, who swallows them down happily. Price leans over to murmur something to him, and Soap huffs a little sound of amusement around his fork. You observe them, realizing that there’s a warm familiarity between all of them, a trust that runs inherently deep and profound. It summons a little pang of longing inside you, wishing that maybe you might find something similar one day
You pick at your dinner, not really hungry. The food sits uneasily in your stomach with your anxiety, and as the plates lay scattered across the table the others finally turn to you.
“You died.” Price begins, startlingly direct.
“Yes.” You tell him breathily in return. He nods, pauses before his next words.
“So did all of us.”
You blink at that, trying to process- before Soap finally chimes in.
“Aye, your commander shot me straight in the neck, the bastard.” He grins sunnily. “Shoulda seen his face when I got right back up, fit as a fiddle.”
You do smile at that, imagining Grave’s utter shock at a dead man walking. It fades as you fidget with the cooling mug in your hands.
“So…what?” You ask quietly. “I’m some kind of…immortal?”
The silence that follows is deafening.
You look up, meet the blank stares of the men before you, and feel your stomach turn to ice.
“You’re kidding.”
Price shakes his head slowly, and you watch as he reaches for a cigar in his jacket.
“Those’ll kill you.” You want to tell him, but you wonder if it truly is a moot point.
“We were all like you, once.” He sighs as smoke spills from his mouth. “Soldiers, young, trying to do some good in a war we didn’t ask for.”
They tell you their stories, and you sit transfixed as the tale of their lives unravel before you.
Gaz and Soap are the ‘youngest’ they claim, both in age and in the time they first died. World War 2, they tell you. Gaz was a pilot shot down in France, and Soap was an infantryman only a few hundred miles west.
“Price found me.” Gaz tells you, smiling fondly at the older man, who returns the expression.
Price tells you of the vision he had- of Kyle terrified, tugging at his straps as his plane burned and spiraled out of control, only to wake up completely unscathed in a pasture. Of course, he’d been killed twice over by German forces before Price managed to find him. Gaz had been the same as you- flighty, scared, uncertain. Price had hauled him to an abandoned farmhouse, had explained to him the same they explain to you now- that one day you just stop dying. You don’t age. You can’t be killed. You blackout, bleed out, and then you just wake back up.
“Soap had it less easy.” He nods to the Scot, who grimaces. Ghost tilts his head in Soap’s direction.
“You want me to tell em, Johnny?”
Soap grumbles, and explains the story of waking up downriver, having drowned, with his entire squad dead after a charge across the Rhine. He tried to find his way back under the cover of night and found a man in a mask instead. He thought he was the reaper coming to collect his soul, but when Ghost started trying to explain immortality and becoming ageless, Soap had stared at him in complete disbelief- and then ran.
“You pitched a fit when I finally caught you.” Ghost remarks smugly, and Johnny’s frown deepens.
“Couldnae help it.” He grouses. “You did a shite job of explaining. Plus-” He jabs a finger in his friend’s direction. “You shot me.”
You blink at that, looking at Ghost, who shrugs, completely unrepentant.
“You tried to escape.”
“But still-!”
“And they’ve been trying to kill each other ever since.” Gaz adds cheekily as the two bicker.
“No killing each other.” Price reminds them sternly, and it quiets down the squabbling.
“Wait-” You try, looking to Soap and Gaz. “So you’re…what, like 100 years old?”
“Give or take a few years.” Soap offers. “I’m the older one.”
Gaz snorts. “You are not.”
“I got found first.”
“I was literally born before you.”
“By eight months.”
“Still counts.”
You turn to Ghost. “So then how old are you?”
“I stopped counting.” He replies plainly. “16th century.”
Your jaw drops. Ghost looks smug at your expression as you try to run the numbers.
“You’re leaving out the part where you were in the Anglo-Scottish War, Simon.” Soap bemoans, displeased. It sours Ghost’s expressions as he turns to the Scot.
“I didn’t even know you yet.” He remarks, mildly annoyed, and it does little to ease Soap’s vague irritation.
“So then Price found you too.” You comment, and Ghost turns back to you.
“After years of chasing him.” Price interjects. “There’s a reason we call him ‘Ghost’.”
You learn later about the things Ghost doesn’t tell you- about being buried alive by his enemies, of suffocating and dying over and over as he clawed through the dirt on his way to freedom. An inevitable, stifling death where he didn’t understand how he kept coming back, only to suffocate once more.
All eyes then turn to Price, who regards you with a knowing smile.
“Old.” He responds to your wordless question. “Too old.”
You want to press him, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes that makes you bite your tongue.
“So…do you…we…” You correct slowly. “...get sick? Starve? Drown?”
“Can’t say I’ve ever been sick.” Ghost provides. “Been starved and drowned, though.”
“Starving is a fool’s death.” Price says, oddly grim. His cigar burns down to ash, and he sighs.
There’s a solemn silence that settles over the safehouse then, and you feel the heavy weight of unspoken words sink between you all.
“There’s rules for us.” Price states then, once more reigning in his air of authority that draws you all a little straighter, attentive.
He goes on to tell you the rules that these men live and die by.
Don’t be seen. Don’t stay in one place for more than a few years at a time. If you die, move on. Stay together. Always communicate. Never leave a man behind.
They’ve spent decades, centuries trying to find ways to use their time to the best of their ability- and the only thing they’ve come to is to stay as soldiers, trying their best to scrub the scum off the face of the earth so the world stays clean. Illegal drug trade, weapons smuggling, extremism, genocide, doing whatever they can to help the innocent and the blameless from violence, and dying to do so.
What else is there to do with all the time? They tell you. Money, luxury, empires, it doesn’t matter when you live forever. So instead they fight, do what they can to save humanity from itself. It’s not an easy job, but it must be done.
They’ve seen things that haunt the shadows of their eyes, witness to the worst villainy and grotesqueness humanity has to offer. They’ve all had to take years off when the burden of the world became too heavy for their souls.
You don’t learn of the time when one of them, and they’ll never say who, tried to give up entirely, had become lost as he desperately tried to rid himself of his immortality. They don’t speak of the decade it took to bring him back, to mend his soul back to fullness once more. It’s a gift, they’ll tell you, but you too will come to learn it’s a curse.
The silence is broken by Soap.
“Can be fun, sometimes.” He offers. “Kyle and I have a runnin’ bet over who dies first in whatever year we’re in.”
“No killing each other.” Price reiterates, scowling at Soap and Gaz, who look guilty. “Not even for fun.”
You make a note to ask about that story later.
“And most of all…” Price goes on, voice grave. “Don’t get captured.”
You remember the infirmary, the cuffs, Graves standing over you with his cold, calculating gaze as fear mounted higher inside you.
You shudder, and Soap lays a warm hand on your shoulder in reassurance.
“They won’t find you.” Ghost provides, and his voice is softer, eyes kinder. “You’re with us now.”
“Simon is right.” Gaz adds seriously. “We’ve been doing this for decades. Your commander has nothing on us.”
You offer him a grateful smile, and remember his warm eyes in the moment you first met him.
“We’ll be here when you wake up.”
These men saved you from a fate that was out of your control. They rescued you, kept you safe, and refused to leave you behind. They brought you to safety, comforted you, and even now they take care of you from your own fear of the future.
“You’re one of us.” Price offers quietly, strangely tender. His hand settles on yours, squeezes it hard for just a moment. “We don’t leave behind one of our own.”
You smile at him through the tears, more grateful than you can express. You’re still scared, and in the years to come you’ll still have nightmares of the man who killed you twice over, who had once been your ally. His betrayal sits in your heart as distant terror, and when it becomes too much your new family holds you, comforts you once more.
You’ll grow with them, fight with them. You’ll hold them as they breathe their last, cry with them over the things you couldn’t accomplish in your never ending fight against the worst of humanity. You’ll lament the agelessness between you all, but will help each other to stand once more. You’ll stand beside them for the centuries to come, and you’ll die alongside them.
And then you’ll wake up.
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