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#the one thing is that writing from his pov and giving him trauma make him more sympathetic. but tahts unavoidable. im not complaining tho i
altraviolet · 4 months
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How do you find a character's 'voice'? I have no problem writing OCs, but when it comes to existing characters I get so anxious that I'm mischaracterizing them!
This is a great question! This is definitely something I struggle with sometimes. Here are some of the things I've done to try to keep characterization consistent:
watched a bunch of videos about characterization and the craft of writing
gone back to the canon and reread parts that featured the character you're trying to write
reduced the character to like, ONE descriptor, ONE "essence," if you will. JRO did a great job making very identifiable characters for us. although many of the initial characterizations are modified by the end of the comic, you can still use that "essence". I'll give an ex in a minute but after you identify that "essence," keep it in mind for your character when you write them
when writing from their POV, or from a close third narration (or heck second person talking to them), remember what the character knows. how did they get to the place they are now? what kinds of details in a room would they notice?
This is not all I've done but it would take me SO LONG to put together more points so we'll move on~!
Okay so for more details on the above:
The Essence Thing
I think Ultra Magnus is a really good example of this. We're introduced to him having a very specific outlook on life (we literally see through his eyes in one early panel, it's great). We understand him to be a VERY strict mech who adheres to the Autobot Law to the letter (semi-colon, actually, lol). We see him meticulously arrange and rearrange objects, we see him point out screws that are misaligned by 0.001% (paraphrase, I don't remember the exact wordage). All in all, it's really easy to understand in just a couple of words who he is. Meticulous to a fault. Rodimus distracts him by using bad grammar on purpose.
By the end of the comics, he's loosened up a little. And (SPOILERS for the end of the comics), Megatron telling him to abandon his armor and be true to himself is something he's receptive to. Whereas in the beginning he wore it as somewhat literal armor. And refused to smile.
So what have I done with my fic? Well, it's important to keep in mind that UM isn't going to change all his ways. He won't be as much of a stickler as before, because he's learned to have friends in some capacity, and that's loosened him up a little tiny bit. But he's going to retain that core trait of being really into keeping things neat and tidy. And, the UM that Megatron told to abandon his armor isn't the one that made the jump. So I assumed they had that convo later in their friendship. The TEG UM still has those organized traits (cuz it's funny), but he's not as bad as he used to be.
So hopefully that makes sense. Boil your character down to a trait or two and keep it in mind for everything.
Oh boy the asks are piling up so I'm gonna try to go a bit faster now.
What The Character Knows
Let's do a little thought experiment. Tailgate and Drift walk into a random Autobot bar. What does each mech notice?
If I said one of them quickly identifies friendly mechs and the other one identifies unfriendly mechs, can you tell which did which? Who notices the energon specials and who takes note of the weapons behind the bar? Which one will remember a time he went with his conjunx to a bar and didn't get in a fight? haha
Okay so you can probably guess the answers that I intended for the above! Drift had a hard past, then became a violent Decepticon. Tailgate was asleep for 6 million years and then woke up and befriended a ton of people and had Movie Nights and also some trauma but he never had to fight for his life like Drift did.
So, as you can see, what the character knows (which is informed by their past, their education, their belief systems, the friends they have, the enemies they have, etc) really impacts how they see the world. And you can use that to your advantage by trying to look through their eyes keeping in mind what they know.
Sorry I'm gonna have to end this here, but this is a great topic. I'll try to write more about character voice and POV in the future. If you want to poke me later about it here or on twitter, please do. I will get my thoughts together and also find the links to the videos I've watched :)
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thefrogdalorian · 3 months
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The Best of Both Worlds
Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU
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Summary: When a new Star Wars TV show called The Mandalorian premiered, you found yourself completely enamoured with the titular character. Enjoyment of watching the lone bounty hunter travel through the galaxy quickly turned to obsession. There was just something about the show that captured your imagination. Now, you spend much of your free time — when you're not working a fast-paced, minimum wage and incredibly stressful job at a prestigious London Museum— speaking to your online friends about your love for the show. There's just one thing... Despite how much you love The Mandalorian, no one knows the identity of the man behind the helmet... either in the show, or in real life. You only know him as Mando. No one has ever seen his face, no one knows his name.  Even after the countless hours of speculation from fans online, which even you have occasionally participated in, no one is any the wiser to the identity of the mysterious man who wears the shiny armour.  Surely, given the depth of your love for the show, you'd recognise if the man who you spend so much time obsessing over online was to ever cross paths with you. Right?
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Content Warnings: Reader is AFAB, uses she/her pronouns and in her mid 20s. Age gap between her and Din is noted but not really central to the story. Grogu is human, hints of past trauma/child abuse before Din adopted him are mentioned but not described in detail. Some mature scenes later on in the fic but not explicit smut... because I just cannot write x reader smut! Author's Note: SO very excited to finally share this fic! Thank you to the lovely @suresnips for being my beta. I really appreciate you ♡ This baby was originally my NaNoWriMo 2023 project and was inspired by this post from @toxic-seduction that I saw one evening and couldn't stop thinking about! POVs will alternate chapter to chapter from Din to reader. It was fun to write that way! Set in London for a few reasons: partly because I love the movie Notting Hill and it has some of those vibes (if you squint), also, the village where Din lives is based on Elstree Studios just outside London, where the OT was filmed and ultimately because NO WAY was I writing a modern!AU set in the states, it would've been painfully obvious a Brit wrote it. While there are lots of references to places in London, I don't live there so it might not be truly accurate (Londoners don't come for me). Also, to be political for a sec, reader works at the British Museum and I hate that institution. This was actually the line of work I was interested in when I was at Uni but for many different reasons I did not pursue it. However, it works for the plot of this story and as you'll see, she doesn't exactly love it either and goes on a few rants. Just wanted to make that clear that her job there is not an endorsement of it or anything. I can't stand them or their historical apologist bs and I wish we would give back all the things we stole (including the Parthenon Marbles)! Finally, it was incredibly important to me that the actor behind Mando in this fic clearly be the fictional character of Din Djarin rather than the real person Pedro Pascal, because rpf is not my jam! I hope I did that pretty well but just wanted to warn that if you're expecting me to use Din as some kind of way to write a Pedro fic, this won't be for you! Okay, I'll shut up now! This fic is fully written, just needs editing so hopefully I'll get a couple of chapters up each week, but life happens. I'm very proud of this one and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also if you would like to be added to my taglist for this fic, please let me know! Happy reading ♡
❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁
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Why Does It Always Rain On Me? [Reader POV]: After a dreadful day which saw you drenched by a rainstorm after leaving a hectic day at work, you reflect on your love for Mando and upcoming excitement for the sci-fi convention you will soon be attending with your internet best friend.
He Is My Only Priority [Din's Pov]: The character of The Mandalorian is known and loved by millions. But there is another, much softer side to the man who portrays him that Din Djarin is determined to keep hidden from the world, despite the challenges that presents for him and his beloved son, Grogu.
This Is Why (I Don't Leave The House) [Reader's POV]: Your internet bestie arrives in preparation for the Star Wars convention you will attend together. Everything is set for the greatest weekend of your life! Until you arrive at the con and find yourself overwhelmed by all the crowds and noise. At least you have numerous incredibly realistic Mando cosplays to distract you from how stressed you feel, and there's one in particular which is uncannily accurate...
Curiosity Killed The Cat [Din's POV]: Despite his reservations and against his better instincts, Din heads to a Star Wars convention that he was invited to. Although he fears that his cover will be blown, curiosity gets the best of Din and he can't resist attending a panel. But Din doesn't exactly find the answers he was looking for. Instead, he finds something far more precious. Something that he would never have expected...
He's So Tall (And Handsome As Hell) [Reader's POV]: Being back in the real world and returning to work after an incredible weekend at the convention where you had so many fun experiences is taking its toll on you. The thought of collapsing on your couch in front of The Mandalorian is the only thing keeping you going. However, the universe has other plans for you. News of an out-of-hours tour for a private client that you are asked to lead almost sends you over the edge, but when you finally meet the man, he is the opposite of what you were expecting. Weirdly, he seems familiar...
With A Little Help From My Friends [Din's POV]: Din returns to the set of The Mandalorian to begin filming a new season. Despite his experience and capability, he finds that he struggles to focus as his thoughts remain firmly fixed on a certain someone...
You're The Sunflower [Reader's POV]: Despite feeling certain that you'll never see the ridiculously handsome man you gave a tour of the museum to, a special delivery is about to change everything...
Your Face Hung Up High In The Gallery [Din's POV]: After a difficult few days of filming The Mandalorian, Din is excited to spend time with you as he finally takes you on your first proper date...
Have I Known You Twenty Seconds or Twenty Years? - (Reader's POV):  Despite a messy evening which led to you waking up in an opulent hotel which you have no memory of falling asleep in, memories of kind brown eyes and breathless kisses soon come flooding back to soothe your soul. Your relationship deepens as the two of you spending time together whenever your busy schedules allow. But one night, a turn of events causes you - despite Din's reassurances - to wonder if everything you have been working so hard to build together has just come crashing down around you...
10. There's A War Inside Of Me - [Din's POV]: The realities of the secret he is keeping from you begin to weigh heavily on Din's mind and he seeks advice from a certain curly haired co-star on what his next move should be. Things don't go exactly according to plan, not least because of the typically awful English weather...
P.S. - I tried to be inclusive for all body types and skin tones in this fic, but if I missed something, I do apologise. If you do spot something that takes you out of the fic, I am more than happy for constructive criticism as I wouldn't want anyone to be excluded on those grounds. I am always trying to do better and would love to know where I went wrong so I can improve and be more aware of these things going forward, so I would appreciate it if you could let me know if you do spot anything. Thank you so much! ♡
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levmada · 7 days
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hello! how r u doing?
can u write something angsty with either no comfort or comfort at the end (whatever u want). basically, reader has been having a pretty shitty week and has been working nonstop, and is the type to not about what's bothering them until they can't contain it anymore or they're calm enough to talk about it because they know they can get snappy and say some very sharp words that can be very hurtful. levi of course knows that, because he is our observant pookie, and leaves the reader alone, just acts normal. one night, let's say levi maybe says something snarky or whatever, that the reader has been some pretty bad attitude which is unlike them, and usually reader wouldn't take his words seriously and know that he's perhaps trying to help them open up. this time, it doesn't go the wau it's supposed to, and reader just fully snaps at levi and say some very harsh, petty and hurtful words to him. the rest is up to u!
and thank u btw, i love ur content❤️
yes, yes i can. ty for such a detailed rq :) this became angstier than intended😭but it's ok bc it was 10x more painful to write being mean to levi.
reader/us also has a distinct personality kind of built off the way you described, so i hope it's what you expect😅
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➥ pairing: Levi x gn!reader
➥ c/w: college!au, Levi pov, Levi not realizing he has trauma for 1400 words, apologizing, selective mutism...?, heavy hurt and some comfort
➥ wc: 1.4k
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If ever he ranked cleaning activities in his mind (which he has), organizing isn’t very high, but it doesn’t occur to him not to help you out with the little things when your week has been poisoned with the dual evils, shitty and exhausting.
Ever since you got back from class, you’ve sat there at your desk. He’s kept you in the corner of his eye, and that same scowl from an hour ago is still there, illuminated by the light of your laptop. You’ve paid it more attention than to anything else—which is not at all, even to your basic needs. 
It’s best to give you space when that look is on your face, and has and will continue to, but not when it comes to eating and-or sleeping. Other than that, he’s content in the background. Whatever he does to help out, you always notice, and tell him thank you with a weak smile, but not today—today when you look particularly like you’re at your wit’s end.
When he finished organizing the apartment (including the fridge), he bypassed your desk and sat on his computer playing solitaire for a solid half-hour. Inevitably, he gets bored, and he’s giving you as much time as he’s willing to before he drags you out to eat something.
Unsatisfied without the job completely done, he rolls up his sleeves and starts at the end of your desk by emptying your pencil sharpener, making a face at how full it is.
To his satisfaction, your focus hardly wanes. Which is good, but he knows how you like everything anyway. With an undistinguishable but distinct fondness, he notes your quirks; even the way you hold your pen melds with your existence in his mind. 
Or no, maybe that’s wrong. You’re a part of him; not a visitor, or even a resident, of his heart and mind.
“Levi, I need those pencils; leave them there.”
You’re referring to the plastic tin of a few colored pencils in his hand, which sat near the middle beside your computer. He looks at you, but you’re definitely serious about it, so he sets it back down.
“If you say so.”
You say nothing and go back to your work. Skipping the tin (which he wants to wash because of all the gross graphite smears and shavings at the bottom), he takes the pencil case beside that, and pops it open. An eraser found its way into a sea of colored pencils somehow somehow, as well as crayons—probably Hange. Not too long ago you had them over working on a class project. He starts picking out these imposters.
“Levi,” you huff, your expression severe as you look daggers at him. “Just leave it alone.”
“Tch, you’re kidding. You’d rather I waste my time sorting the bookshelf in reverse alphabetical order instead? That’s stupid, so why?”
He always gets ‘Are you okay?’ wrong, but this time you turn towards him with your fist tightly curled over your notebook. He doesn’t look startled, but he barely catches the beginning of your revile.
“Stop messing around!—I just told you to stop fucking with it, so quit being a fucking idiot and get out of my space!! This is so stupid, do you not see I’m busy!? ‘Cuz you clearly can’t listen!”
Ironically the angrier you sound, the less emotion shows on his face. Only at the end—you already look guilty—amidst silence like a bomb’s fallout, he wears the scowl of a frightened animal.
He waits until your lips start moving to turn around and leave. 
At the door, he stops again with his hand clutching the knob, and glares at you over his shoulder. When your lips go to form his name, he slams it harder than necessary.
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This is so stupid.
That was far from the first time someone has yelled at him in his life, and besides, is getting yelled at not an experience absolutely everyone’s had?
Even so, he can’t seem to make himself do fuck-all besides quietly sit, sit in your dark kitchen at the dining table, his legs folded to his chest. He feels like a gargoyle—odd, ancient, and unthinking. 
Maybe he just never expected you would ever lose your temper, which is naive of him.
He doesn’t know what to do, until, your voice speaking softly makes him bolt up straight. 
“I’m sorry, can I turn this on…?” you ask softly.
For now, your profile is merely a black shadow in the doorway, with your back illuminated by the one in the tiny hall. The switch you’re gesturing to would light up above the oven, rather than the whole room.
He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. But it’s not a no. 
Despite the nature of turning on a light, it feels so slow.
He must’ve sat a while, because he even cringes, blinking feverishly. Before his vision even adjusts, the guilt etched into your expression is almost painful for him to look at, like a cavernous gorge shoveled into the earth miles wide and deep. You’re holding something to your chest.
“I’m so sorry for snapping like that. You didn’t do anything wrong at all. I’m so sorry, Levi. I’m never, ever too busy—fuck, I was frustrated and I never should take it out on you, not in any way, ever. I’m the one who’s an idiot.”
As you speak, you come until you’re by the table, standing like a magnet constantly being repelled from it. 
Then you set what you were holding down in front of him—one, an expensive piece of paper (the kind that bends, not tears) with a drawing of some sort he doesn’t want to look at right now, and a rice cake wrapped in clingy wrap. 
His favorite. 
“I’m so so sorry,” you continue apologizing profusely. At this point your eyes are wet, but they keep darting away, with your nails surely leaving half-moon-shaped indents in your knuckles. You pray very quietly, “I’ll do anything ‘cuz you’re everything.”
Wide-eyed, he can’t seem to respond except for a raw sound in his throat after you say that. An instinct seems primal, as much as pumping blood is, that if he says anything, the likelihood that you’ll leave him will increase an unknown amount. 
Normally he’s so calm under pressure, and he didn’t say anything before either—you’ll get the wrong idea. The best thing he can think of is to robotically slide the offerings closer.
You’re still trying not to cry when you go. 
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He stays there, just as he was, for another little while. He’s not really feeling anything, but at the same time, he’s running out of breath from the effort to calm down. 
Ugh…
The way you clearly felt is probably what you get, but he doesn’t want that for you anyway. Even if you did mean any of it.
But you didn’t.
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It’s midnight or so—too early for Levi to usually be asleep but very late for him to be coming to bed—when he taps the bedroom door open with a few fingers and slinks inside. To prevent from waking you up, he did most of his business in the bathroom in the dark. 
It now helps him make out the shape of you under the covers on your side of the bed. He comes like a wraith, so much that he’s near-silent crawling into bed beside you, and using the edge of the covers to slip under.
Your back is in front of him. He wants to make sure you know it’s okay… but he doesn’t know how. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead right between your shoulder blades and the thin material of your tank top, the only place you’re touching. You’re warm, you smell good. 
By the slight hitch in your breathing then, you know he’s here. 
After a while, he brings his hand up to your waist, or rather a bit before it. It’s not long before you gently rest your fingers on top of his. He lets them slot in-between.
His eyes are heavy. He doesn’t bother opening them as he reaches around, bringing you his way, with your head nestled in his chest. That’s the only time you make a move, since he made it clear it’s okay for you to.
He holds you tightly and breathes you in. You both relax.
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Levi masterlist | main masterlist
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diasdelfuego · 9 days
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Is DM or Lestat really getting shoehorned in the season 2? I thought it was in the books? I have never read those but with the way people talk I thought Lestat was in it throughout and eventually Daniel too?
i think that’s a question that’s a bit more complicated than just “it’s in the books,” and i think that people using “it’s in the books” (or that rolin quote about how they're taking into account the entire saga for the adaptation) to dismiss fans’ (particularly black fans!) concerns or criticisms are just another symptom of prevalent fandom racism. 
so, yeah, you know i’m long winded, so brace for this answer.
the reasoning behind this concern and/or criticism —the way i think about it, of course, i don’t want to put words in anyone else’s mouth— is that this second season, which is “officially” an adaptation of the second half of the interview book, should be, based on the content and narrative beats of the source material, primarily concerned with louis, claudia, and armand. of course, the show is making major structural changes in order to make this new story more cohesive than the original, which is infamously a disjointed, often nonsensical mess, so it’s a given that some things are going to be different. now, what things are different, how, and how those changes are presented are stuff worth thinking about. 
obviously, i love the framing device of the second interview, and you know i love daniel as a character. but the adaptation has certainly given him a relevance that he never had in the books. in the interview he’s a nameless “boy,” in queen of the damned he gets about 20 pages from his own pov and then some more pages from armand’s point of view, and then he’s relegated to at best a paragraph per book for the rest of the series, when he’s mentioned at all. hell, anne rice forgot how to spell his last name in several books! 
likewise, i have talked before about how people blow devil’s minion importance in the series out of proportion, and i actually have my post about it at hand because i meant to answer a different question about this. sorry @ other anon, i will get to you eventually. probably. anyway, here is the post in question! 
now, lestat is, without a doubt, the protagonist of the chronicles. anne rice went on record to say that she pretty much hated louis after the first book and would never write him again, and lestat was her precious gary stu self-insert. he is the protagonist of the second book, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, and… you get it. 
rolin has already said that season three will be his season, and we know he’s a lestat fanboy, and it’s whatever. as long as jacob anderson has at least 50% of the total screentime, i’ll be streaming, and if he has less than that i’ll watch a supercut on youtube. 
but lestat is not a major player in the second half of the interview and, in general, he is more a villain than a love interest in that first book. again, the show is adapting the entire saga, and they are trying to tie it together more neatly, and this is not quite the same story, but armand is as key to louis’s character arc in the interview as lestat and, out of the two, he’s the one that plays the role of love interest. we learn nothing of lestat’s backstory, and very little of armand’s, in that book, and any relationship that lestat and armand have only becomes known to us in the second book. 
and again, structurally, some changes can be attributed to the nature of the adaptation. i was a huge fan of the choice to have lestat “trauma-dumping” in season one, i feel it was an effective and economical introduction to his character that carried a lot of narrative weight, just like i think that making antoinette a woman and giving the affair more space than the one paragraph it gets in the book did a lot of work for the story, but i think that what’s most praise-worthy about these decisions is precisely their economy: we don’t really get a lot of screentime on antoinette, just like we don’t dedicate actual flashbacks to lestat’s tragic backstory, and yet the story gains a lot from them. 
and the story, capital letters italicized The Story, is about louis. 
(i’d argue that, for these two first seasons, it goes: louis, then to a lesser degree claudia, then lestat and armand, then daniel last of all. claudia is much bigger in louis’s story than either lestat or armand are on their own.)
louis is the titular vampire. and this season is meant to be the second and last part of his book. those chapters are truly the best of the novel, so i earnestly hope louis and claudia’s story will get the treatment it deserves. especially because i truly believe that claudia’s death is the emotional center of the vampire chronicles, and if the show is truly smart it will build its narrative foundations around it. 
anyway. back to what i was saying. i think it’s fair to expect the changes to the story to contribute to this core narrative, not detract from it. 
as perfectly put by @nativehueofresolution here, i’m all for additional lestat and armand backstory if it’s in service of louis and armand’s arc. otherwise, what does it add?
now, personally, i have said that i’m optimistic and as of today i have a lot of confidence in the team behind the show! i try to keep sight of how good season one was and not let stuff extraneous to the actual show distract me from it. but i do see the reasons to be wary. 
i brought up in my recent pilot liveblog that the second season still has only one writer and no black directors, that seems to me a cause for wariness in a show that has so far been centrally concerned with how its black protagonist navigates systemic racism! 
for me, the biggest concern is that television isn’t created by artists, but by entire teams which include producers and lots of executives, and amc has a bad track record with executive intervention on their shows (see the history of the walking dead). they’re putting too much stock on mayfair witches and the immortal universe, and you can see just from MW that there’s not a single, cohesively critical, intelligent artistic vision for the whole enterprise, so interview might very well end up being pulled by the general trends of the franchise. plus, frankly, i just don’t think rolin jones is the most brilliant guy out there, and i dread how a bad change to the writers’ room or the story editor could affect the direction of the show. 
now, i was talking about devil’s minion a little while back, and now we’ve come all the way back to that. the old guard: i don’t know how much is the marketing or the writing actually pandering to the old-school fans, and how much is fandom just being racist and stupid. we don’t know enough about the second season yet, so i don’t want to judge the story based on previews. and, personally i would enjoy it if the show did do devil’s minion if it was done well! but, from where i’m standing, the only coherent way to give that relationship any extended amount of screentime during the second season should necessarily involve louis in a big way in order to be done well. 
i think it’s fair to be annoyed, and i’m pretty damn annoyed, by people who are eager to push louis aside to get to a hypothetical daniel/armand storyline or a future lestat season; especially when quite a few of the latter set of people have repeatedly made it clear that they believe louis is a liar, lestat is the real victim, armand is the only abuser and lestat is innocent of all charges, or claudia is the villain of season one. 
luckily, both jacob himself and writer hannah moscovitch have said stuff about louis’s arc as an abuse survivor that reassures me i don’t need to worry too much about that! but there’s still stuff in amc’s marketing that does give me pause. 
i think it’s fair to question the centrality that sam has had in this season’s promotion so far, given that, again, lestat should all in all have little screentime if this adaptation was planning on roughly matching the beats of the second part. i think it’s fair to question why assad and jacob aren’t getting the same couples press tour treatment that sam and jacob did, when this is louis and armand’s season. it’s definitely fair to question amc’s apparent lack of efforts to get bailey and jacob on more black american media outlets or to engage black reporters and critics in general —on the upside, the podcast deserves a shoutout as an example of very good metatext from amc, and they definitely should have marketed that harder. i think it’s fair to want to see more of delainey doing press! 
and i definitely think it’s fair to interpret some of these choices as amc pandering to white audiences, reassuring viewers that they don’t have to invest too much stock in these black and brown characters because, worry not, the story will soon turn to the real protagonists… the white guys! 
these are not choices made in a vacuum, and we’d do well to interrogate them.
because i’m optimistic, i think these might very well be issues of promotion, rather than of writing: it’s clear to me that amc’s marketing intentions and the creative team’s artistic vision don’t quite mesh; as the network’s marketing strategies seem very oriented towards an audience of old-school fans, the same old-school fans who decided to hate the show the moment they learned louis and claudia were black or who watch the show with blinders on to keep them from seeing anything but the white characters; while the writing on the screen speaks to some really smart people behind the scenes, and certainly suggests they’re not afraid to alienate old-guard fanbase with bold creative decisions. 
so, i know i absolutely derailed your question, but it’s just that it’s much more nuanced than that. 
all of these decisions, and the way in which these changes are realized —and it will be a change from the source material to allot meaningful screentime to any of these characters/storylines in the second season, even if lestat and to a lesser extent daniel do become more relevant in later books!— certainly have more implications than simple “loyalty to canon” (or lack thereof). 
i don’t think devil’s minion would necessarily be shoehorned if it featured in some way in season two, and if louis was incorporated into a sort of larger ot3 devils’ minion plot, eye would likely find it to be a great choice. i don’t think the introduction of some 1790s storyline would necessarily be shoehorned as long as it adds to louis and armand’s story, though right now i’m certainly not sold on it. hell, i think making santiago into a bigger antagonist could be a great change, and i’m looking forward to seeing what ben daniel does with the role! but if these things aren’t working in service of louis’s larger narrative, then i think they definitely are worth criticizing. 
all this to say: season one of interview was unlikely excellent television, so i understand being wary of how structural racism might affect the development of the show going forward, and i think people dismissing these concerns altogether and trying to paint them as bad faith engagement with the adaptation are being, at best, willfully obtuse (and at worst, straight up racist). 
and, if the show did indeed erase louis to prop up lestat, regardless of how “true to canon” that is, it would still be racist, just like it would still be victim blaming and abuse apologia to adapt anne rice’s rhetoric as she put it down. 
don’t bother reading the books, they’re not worth it, just know that the people trying to reduce any criticism to a matter of fidelity to the source are not doing so in good faith.
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chroniclesofbts · 1 month
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Call Me Home Part 3
Idol hybrid BTS x hybrid foreigner reader
Warnings: implied sexual themes, smut, angst, fluff, polyamorous relationship
If you’re not 18+ please, do not interact.
As always, my works do not represent BTS in any way, this is purely a work of fiction.
*short chapter, I cut this part in half because it was so long*
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Y/N's POV
Coming to, I can hear voices around me and an annoying beeping. Listening intently I hear the words, "not heat", "too risky", "trauma", and "management". The monitor attached to my heart gave away that I was waking up, the beeping increasing. My eyes flutter open, the light blinding me initially.
"Hey, welcome back. You really scared me there" Jin said softly, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. "I thought my face was just too handsome for you" he joked to lighten the mood.
"How are you feeling Miss... ?" A woman in scrubs asked
"Fine, head is a little heavy, I'm a little sore too. What happened?" I questioned
"You passed out in the shower with Jin. You didn't hit your head or anything, he managed to hold you up and call Jungkook for help." I flushed at the thought of Jungkook seeing me naked. "Can I ask you some personal questions?" The doctor asked gently, "Your pack can stay here or leave if you feel uncomfortable at any time"
"Um, s-sure" I stuttered
"Do you have any nightmares?"
"Oh, uh yeah, most people do though" I joke
"How many a week?" She says writing things down on a clipboard.
"Uh it depends, maybe like 5?" Jin's hand finds mine, and holds it in a comforting manor.
"Do you ever feel numb?" She continues
"Yeah, I guess if I get too overwhelmed I do." I answer honestly
"Do you feel like you startle easily? Have trouble concentrating?"
"Sometimes" I answer, starting to close in on myself.
"Last question, where do you see yourself in the future?"
"I mean, how far out? I see myself with the pack, for as long as I have left" I answer, feeling Jimin lean his head on my shoulder from the right side where he was sitting.
"I see, thank you for answering my questions, I will talk to your packs leader and you should be able to go back to their dorms in the next few hours." She smiled, motioning to Namjoon to follow her.
"How long was I asleep?" I ask Jimin
"3 days, you must have been tired and your body was recovering from the shock to your system with the pills you took." Jimin explained.
"Why was she asking all of those questions?" I ask him nervously, "Did I do something wrong, are you going to replace me?" I whimper
"No! No, baby, never" Jin said, squeezing my hand. "We just want to make sure we can help you, make sure we can be enough for you"
"Oh, why?" I mumble confused as I feel myself blush.
"Because you deserve the perfect pack" Jimin said, pushing his nose further into my scent gland.
"Wait, I thought I was in heat" I look at Jin, who looks away bashfully.
"Your body has never had a heat, it wasn't ready for a heat, your body was fighting the medicine, it caused you to get sick. Right before you passed out I could smell the shift in your hormones, I just didn't figure it out until you passed out. I, o-overwhelmed your b-body. I c-caused it, I am so sorry" He cried, "we don't deserve to be your pack, we couldn't even take care of you as soon as we got you"
"Jin, I don't blame you. It's not your fault, how could anyone have known? You caught me, right? I didn't get a concussion. It's okay"
Before he could respond, Namjoon came in the door followed by a man I had never met before.
"This is Sejin, one of our managers. After talking with the medical staff, we think it's best to start you on a month of medicine to encourage a natural heat cycle. This will also give your body time to adjust to being in a pack, as well as let your mind work through everything that has happened recently. With the rush of moving and education, now this, your body and mind are overwhelmed. We want to make sure you're completely healthy and ready." Namjoon explained as the nurses started to detach me from all of the medical equipment.
"Take it easy for the first week, bed rest for the first 5 days at least. Your body is recovering and we don't want anything to delay the process." The nurse explained.
"Here, we brought you some clothes, its ours, but we will get you your own soon" Jungkook said, handing me some clothes that smell like all of them. He helped me up with a blush and led me to the connected bathroom to change. I quickly changed into the sweatpants and shirt, pulling the drawstrings so they fit move comfortably. I opened the door and found him waiting outside, eyes widening, pupils dilating, at me in their clothes. He extended his hand to me and started to walk me over the the wheelchair.
"I don't need that" I said, trying to pull out of his grip.
"Okay" Jungkook smirked, sweeping me off my feet, "but you can't walk, doctors orders. I prefer this way too" he winked.
"W-wait, actually, the chair l-looks fine" I stuttered through my embarrassment.
"Sorry, cutie, I like this way" He smiled, staring at me with a fondness I haven't seen yet. He carries me through the lobby and outside to the waiting car. Jimin's mouth dropped open as he whined about how unfair it was that he got to carry me, causing a few others to grumble too. He hands me to Namjoon, who pulls me close in his lap, shoving his face into my neck and relaxing. The drive was filled with lots of joking and flirting, I swear my face was always flushed. Jin steals me away from Namjoon to carry me inside and up the stairs to their room. It has a large bed where they obviously sleep all together, lots of pillows and blankets resembling a den. Jin gently lowered me into their den, showing through actions that he could care for me. I immediately relaxed, realizing that even being surrounded by predators, I was safe. I let my eyes flutter closed, my body pulling me under with exhaustion. The last thing I register is a body laying down gently next to me, in their animal form, their purring lulling me deeper into dreamland.
Taglist open (please let me know if I missed you): @dachshunddame @minjianhyung @minhanbyeol
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verycharismaticdragon · 8 months
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Okay, so I went a lil overboard with a reply to LBH criticism over at @controversial-blorbo-bracket, and I figure 4.5K words that probably should be put under a community label are a bit too much for a reblog, so I'm posting it separately.
CW for general discussion of sex, and for rape mention (assumption of rape is discussed and rebutted).
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You know what, I was going to reply to this the usual way, you know, 'oh look at that, another person with surface level reading who hates binghe!' because fr every single binghe disliker has the same talking points - which, you know, individually were long discussed (and disproved) by ppl in fandom - but then I was suddenly hit with a spoon beam so now I'm writing a long-ass answer.
Starting with the most glaring, this sentence:
Their dynamic ended up coming off more as SQQ tolerating this unmanageable man-baby and letting him fuck (and hurt him in the process, and then cry about that, more than SQQ himself did) him just to get him to shut the fuck up sometimes, like giving a toddler a biscuit to appease them.
has clued me in to the largest thing anon has missed. Remember how I said "surface-level reading"? Let me explain. There are great many avenues for analyzing a book, especially one as crunchy on a meta-level as svsss (you'll see what I mean by that later).
But the most basic thing - the LVL1 if you will - is asking yourself the following questions: (1) whose POV is the book written from? (2) is that POV omniscient or limited? (2.1) are there cases where the POV character doesn't know something we, the reader, have inferred? (3) if it's limited, how reliable is their narration? (3.1) are there cases of their actions not aligning with their narration? (3.2) are there reasons for them to lie to themselves and/or the reader?
For SVSSS, the answers are: (1) mostly Shen Qingqiu's POV; (2) limited; (2.1) e.g. he doesn't know what's going on in Luo Binghe's head (we'll get back to this more in-depth later), most notably not realizing Luo Binghe is in love with him for good 2/3rds of the book; (3) unreliable; (3.1) think him insisting he is fine when he's clearly grieving post-Abyss - which we can see both from other characters' reactions, and from stray thoughts that he himself has and then dismisses (eng.edition chapter 4: "No! Bah! Shen Qingqiu mentally slapped himself. Who are you calling a grieving widow?! Whose husband died?! That's not something you should just say--you're really getting worse by the day.") (3.2) off the top of my head: the trauma SQQ is going through, with his two coping mechanisms being 'not thinking about it' and 'making light of the situation'; internalized toxic masculinity - as in, the idea that it's shameful for a man to have emotions; internalized homophobia - as in, being unable to examine his attraction to men (evident from very early on, actually) without having a knee-jerk 'it's wrong!' reaction.
To sum it up: Shen Qingqiu's POV is limited and his narration is unreliable. What does this tell us? That we should take what he says in the narrative voice with the grain (or like, a spoonful) of salt, and that it's worth to close-read him. Don't just believe him when he says something; look for evidence!
Going back to anon's words, saying that SQQ appears to just 'tolerate' Luo Binghe tells me that you have not caught SQQ's lies at all.
(cont. under cut)
SQQ is, pardon my language, fucking obsessed with Luo Binghe - just in a different way than Luo Binghe is with him. He is constantly thinking about Luo Binghe even when the latter is not around! (Contrast it to how he thinks about his family from his og world like, 3 times over the course of the book, despite loving them.) And when LBH is around, SQQ can't go a page without mentioning how incredibly beautiful he is! (And then blames it on Luo Binghe being a protagonist, like, of course the protagonist is the most beautiful person in the world, that's natural!.. We later get the POV of a literal author of the world, btw, and he says he wrote LBH as a conventionally beautiful prettyboy type, and his own ideal man is completely different. Which is how we know that SQQ going on about LBH's radiant showstopping obvious-to-anyone beauty is really only his own opinion that he's trying to sell to us as a universal truth.)
And, speaking of LBH's crimes anon mentions (I will not be calling them 'warcrimes', sorry, none of the very few less-than-moral things he does can be classified as that) - you may notice that, for both actual things LBH did and for things SQQ attributed to him mistakenly, those never changed the way SQQ feels about Binghe. He thinks LBH killed his kinda-friend and still jumps in to sacrifice himself to save LBH's life. He sees the guy LBH mutilated, and is disturbed by that... but still continues to protect LBH. Gives him a lil forehead kiss like 20 minutes later.
Oh, and let's not forget the scene where SQQ is punished with a hyper-realistic dream of original LBH tearing off his limbs, and his reaction to that is "I need to see my Binghe asap immediately like rn, I need my cute version of Binghe to feel better about this."
This all is to point out that SQQ continuously fails to be normal about LBH. That's a feature! That's what makes their relationship fun! "Clearly you are perfect for each other pls dont involve anyone else in whatever the fuck is wrong with you" kinda situation.
But you must look through the cover of SQQ's misdirections for it - like again, trauma! toxic masculinity! internalized homophobia! It's difficult for him to admit his feelings even in his head, but he is getting better about that. In Mei vs Ge extra, SQQ admits he wanted LBH to push a little more about them sharing a bed and that he would have agreed. And is kinda put out that LBH simply accepted his refusal. Then in Deep Dream extra, SQQ is literally the one to jump LBH. And in Wedding extra, he almost manages to look directly at the fact that he's very happy that LBH is proposing to him! So yeah, he is getting better at admitting it too. But honestly, his feelings about LBH were always really intense. In different ways over the course of the novel, but he adored LBH from before he transmigrated, and that adoration never lessened, despite everything that happened between them. You just gotta look at his actions and not his 24/7 mental stand-up routine.
All right, next, in the same paragraph the previous thing came from, I'll abridge and highlight for relevancy:
Their dynamic ended up coming off more as SQQ tolerating this unmanageable man-baby and letting him fuck [...] him just to get him to shut the fuck up sometimes, like giving a toddler a biscuit to appease them. And it came off very gross, especially in the epilogue, when Luo Binghe was blatantly manipulative about that, pushing and cornering Shen Qingqiu into doing more than he already was, and using his tears to his advantage, in a way that was clearly in the text not unintentional.
...Listen, for someone claiming to hate how one-dimensional LBH ended up, I'm seeing a distinct lack of effort at actually understanding the character. Luo Binghe's teary act (in the moments when it is an act, because there are also many moments when his tears are genuine, we'll get to that later) is, first and foremost, for Shen Qingqiu's benefit.
Shen Qingqiu admits it himself that he finds it easier to be "frank" with Luo Binghe who is "willing to cling to his legs and throw a tantrum to seek comfort" (Return to Childhood extra). It's the internalized toxic masculinity and homophobia thing again. It's actually pretty interesting how he rewires his brain from its knee-jerk reaction of "homosexuality wrong" by mentally comparing Luo Binghe to a girl - like calling him Bing-mei, thinking he's acting "like a lovesick maiden", etc. God I want to study this man like a bug. Anyway, yeah, the point is that LBH acting cute and whiny helps SQQ be more comfortable with giving affection to a man, something that he struggles with because of his personal issues.
And Luo Binghe, while not aware of the exact nature of SQQ's issues (having grown up in a world where homophobia doesn't seem to exist), does understand this - that Shen Qingqiu’s thin face and pride make it difficult for him to show emotions. And it's not something LBH intrinsically knows either; he has to figure it out (not without help, everybody say thank you papa Airplane), confirm it for himself (the "But other than hearing Shizun crying..." - "Who was crying?" - "Other than hearing someone crying, [...]" scene comes to mind), and then accept it as truth (which he doesn't seem to fully do until at least the Maigu Ridge, and Shen Qingqiu outright saying "I do it for you and only you!" - if not even later.) It takes him time to learn how to work with this knowledge too...
And, to be brutally honest, how blatant and over the top he gets with the act is entirely due to how SQQ keeps rewarding the behavior.
Now... you might consider this a conjecture, given how we only get the tiniest glimpses into Luo Binghe's mind - in the rare moments the author shifts out of the primary POV. But fortunately, one of those moments can be used to prove that Luo Binghe is not, in fact, "pushing and cornering" Shen Qingqiu into doing things Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to do.
The moment I'm talking about is in the Mei vs Ge extra: Shen Qingqiu, having agreed to "do some exploring together", sees LBH's giant 🐓, goes "absolutely not" out loud, and attempts to give him a handjob instead — which also doesn't go too well. Bringing us to (LBH's POV emphasized):
No matter how calm Shen Qingqiu kept himself, he couldn’t stop his expression from twisting. Luo Binghe had secretly been paying attention to his face the entire time. At this moment, he carefully said, “Then, Shizun, how about… you do it?”
LBH is attentively watching SQQ's reactions to figure out what he's thinking and feeling. The moment Binghe comes to the conclusion that SQQ is uncomfortable with bottoming, he offers to let him top. Notice how he doesn't start crying or whining to get his way, when it's something that might be a genuine hard line for SQQ?
And it's actually the same in the Regret of Chunshan extra: when SQQ shot LBH's idea down, LBH "looked a bit disappointed, but didn't push the issue". Yes, later SQQ will say LBH was "putting on a pitiful act"; but if you read the scene carefully, LBH did not do anything but look a bit disappointed - and SQQ just walked himself into feeling bad about refusing completely on his own.
Now, when does Luo Binghe use crocodile tears then? Well, the answer seems to be: when it's about small things. Like wanting to do it face to face (after they've already agreed on both sex in general and on who will top), or begging SQQ to call him 'husband' (after they have gotten married). Ultimately inconsequential things, and, likely, things that he suspects SQQ is avoiding only because of embarrassment and not anything more serious.
So, to sum up this section: Luo Binghe's crybaby act is for Shen Qingqiu's peace of mind first and foremost, and Luo Binghe does not actually use it to coerce Shen Qingqiu into anything he wouldn't be willing to do. LBH is not responsible for the fact that Shen Qingqiu has no bottom line when it comes to him and can't handle seeing him even minorly disappointed, let's be real.
Okay, last thing from that paragraph (yes there's another thing):
and letting him fuck (and hurt him in the process, and then cry about that, more than SQQ himself did)
See, with the way anon describes it here, I can't even tell which scene this references, but luckily I have a rebuttal for both options.
Like, is this about the Maigu Ridge? Aka the scene where LBH is not in his right mind (literally hallucinating, among other things) - and then comes back to consciousness to see that he, by all appearances, had brutally raped the person he loves with all his heart? No fucking wonder he starts crying?!.. And to clarify, he did not rape SQQ, because SQQ had given informed consent here. If anything, there was nobody in that scene less consenting than Luo Binghe himself.
Or is this about the scene in Mei vs Ge. Which is like. Entirely on SQQ, who decided to keep quiet instead of telling LBH that it hurts. Like, whatever that was about! It's only, oh, one of the major themes of the novel that hiding your feelings and struggles is bad, and will hurt not only you but people who care about you.
...Btw, if someone not in fandom is reading this with increased befuddlement for why those two are having so much painful sex. Well, aside from the scene where LBH is tripping balls because of a cursed sword, and the situation is forced by the literal will of the narrative (more on this later), our couple are two adult virgins with no sex-ed, and one of them is in possession of (canonically) the biggest dick in the world. Given those factors, it would be weirder if they were able to have flawless sex right away. (And it's a meta-commentary, something we'll also get to later.)
Speaking of the cursed sword, it's somewhat amazing that anon says all this
Why did they make him become this? I understand what he went through, I'm not asking about cause and effect, I'm saying the effect could have been so much better and more realistically (in my opinion and from my personal experience with trauma) written. I'm not saying he couldn't be burnt or bitter or jaded, nor that he couldn't be clingy or overly emotional or manipulative, I just think it could have been done better, and I HATE what his character became for the second half (realistically, most) of the story.
and completely fails to mention that between LBH's return from the Abyss and the end of the main story, LBH's actions are severely affected by a cursed sword that amps up his emotions with the express purpose of destroying his mind. Seems somewhat relevant to why his behavior isn't written as a realistic trauma response? And instead as a trauma response amped up to eleven and set on fire? And that's without even getting into LBH giving himself supernatural brain damage as a form of self-harm. Which uh. doesnt simply map onto any irl concept really.
Continuing from this, I think it's time for me to expand on one of the points from earlier: about how Shen Qingqiu doesn't know what's going on in Luo Binghe's head for most of the novel. It will be tied to this particular bit of criticism on anon's part:
I feel like the author utterly assassinated his character in the 2nd half of the novel (ever since he came back from the abyss) and turned him into a one dimensional caricature of himself, and I HATED IT.
What I want to suggest here is tied, once again, to how Shen Qingqiu’s POV is limited and unreliable. So, a new batch of questions: (4) is our understanding of other characters' actions affected by the limited POV? (5) is there a particular reason for the author to keep other characters' motivations opaque to the POV character? (6) can anything be gleaned by reconstructing other characters' perspectives?
The answer to (4) is a yes so resounding the POV character himself admits it: "First, he'd thought Luo Binghe was unbelievably cruel and evil, then he'd thought Luo Binghe was unspeakably strong and bright." (ch.21) Shen Qingqiu has the very same problem as anon does: he sees Luo Binghe as one-dimensional, making assumptions about how he's supposed to act - instead of trying to understand what's there.
Which leads us neatly into the answer to (5): people making assumptions about what's best for the other person instead of asking them what they need, and hurting them as a result, is also a major theme, present in many relationships throughout the novel! And that's only half of the answer.
The other half will require us to go a little meta. You see, BingQiu's relationship, among other things, are meant to echo the relationship between the reader and the character. The reader loves the character, but they are also the reason for their suffering - as for the story to go on, the character must continuously face more and more difficult obstacles. Shen Qingqiu both loving Luo Binghe and causing him unspeakable amount of trauma is meant to mirror that. Shen Qingqiu's expectations for how Luo Binghe should act, and attempts to fit him into one or the other archetype, are also, yknow, reader behavior.
And... are we not also readers? Are we not expecting Luo Binghe to act a certain way (for example, when I first read the novel, I fully expected him to keep being a classic ML: to swallow all his grievances and keep being unquestioningly and ardently devoted to MC. Which, once articulated, is such an unfair expectation!), and feel it's "character assassination" - to borrow anon's words - when he does not adhere to the role he's supposed to inhabit, based on our idea of his personality and place in the story?
So: is there a reason the author seems to deliberately make Luo Binghe hard to understand, irrational, or one-note, to both Shen Qingqiu and us? Making it harder to sympathize with him? For example, can it be commentary on oversimplifying complex characters to just their role, or just one aspect of their personality...
As for the answer to (6), I ultimately want to leave it for you to try it out and decide. I'm literally the person who wrote a 90k character study fic to try and figure out the minutiae of Luo Binghe's post-Abyss mental state, so my answer is I think obvious. He has a lot going on!
Which kind of brings me to another of anon's gripes:
And actually that made me really sad because I wanted to enjoy it so much, because I LOVED the beginning, and I love Shen Qingqiu, but the evolution of Luo Binghe and the refusal to let him KEEP evolving inescapably ruined the story for me. He was insufferable, and I kept hoping he would grow and get better, but he just never did.
Look, I simply cannot agree that Luo Binghe did not grow and get better; it just largely happens at the very end of the main story and in the extras. I know anon has missed that, since they missed the more obvious things like Shen Qingqiu being obsessed with Binghe right back and Binghe using the pathetic act to help Shen Qingqiu feel more at ease, so I'll get to that in a bit. But first, I want to make sure we are on the same page about everything before that.
The part of Luo Binghe's arc between the Abyss and the Maigu Ridge is a downward spiral. He's going through the corruption arc, just as the original version of him did; the narrative demands it.
And it's not like 'the narrative' is a nebulous force here; there are literal actors of its will in the story, the System and Xin Mo sword. Like, in particular, the Maigu Ridge sex scene is a perfect example of how those two actors push Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu. The System literally withholds a key item that can help Luo Binghe regain his conscious mind until Shen Qingqiu has sex with him - you know, until the demands of the narrative of a romance story are fulfilled. And Xin Mo literally corrodes Luo Binghe's mind so that he acts like the original version from PIDW, because the truth is, SVSSS Luo Binghe would rather die than actually force himself on Shen Qingqiu. (Binghe's first reaction to seeing what he'd done is to ask "Why didn't you kill me?" and like. understandable. im crying also)
Oh, right, I promised to explain how bad sex is meta, this is a good spot for that. You see, it's a commentary on the 'flawless first time' trope, and also 'sex is a cure' trope. The author posits that two virgins having sex would naturally be awkward and not magically good. And that having sex in a highly stressful situation where one of the parties is not in control of their faculties would naturally be really fucking bad, and also not magically good.
But back to narrative demands. The point is, Luo Binghe simply cannot get better until "the story" ends. He can't heal while the world around him is literally deadset on dragging him down to become a bloodthirsty, sex-obsessed tyrant. The only thing that saves him is Shen Qingqiu managing to get them into the happily ever after zone by the skin of his teeth. There's a reason the main story of the book ends with: "The story circulating through the world might already have ended. But the story between you and me has only just began". 'The story circulating through the world' is the narrative the characters were trapped in; only once it has ended can Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe be allowed to go free, to actually live their lives and be happy. (This novel is very meta, I'm telling you.)
All right, now, back to how Luo Binghe actually did grow and get better! We're almost to the end! I fear to see how long this post is, at this point!
Now, I could be pointing out specific details, like Luo Binghe letting SQQ be brought back to Cang Qiong because he thinks that's what SQQ would want - when his whole breakdown before was about how he couldn't keep SQQ with him. Or I could be reminding you of the second section of this post, and saying that Luo Binghe learning to bypass SQQ's embarrassment by playing cute is actually also character development, even if you didn't like it.
But I think we should go for the heart of the issue. You see, yet another prominent theme in SVSSS is toxic masculinity. It's baked into the setting, with the "original" book our MC transmigrated into being a heterostraight harem novel; it's something our MC struggles with, when his learned toxic behaviors screw over both himself and the person he loves; and - most important to our current topic - it's the chief source of tension within Luo Binghe's character.
Literally, there are even names for two polar axes of his personality in the story: Bing-ge (ge=big brother), coined by in-story fandom to describe original Luo Binghe of PIDW, and Bing-mei (mei=little sister), the nickname SQQ comes up with specifically for "lovesick maiden"-acting Binghe.
"Bing-ge" side, of course, represents toxic masculinity. Extremely obviously in OG!LBH's case, what with him being the protagonist of 'male wish fulfillment and misogyny: the novel', but if you think about it, SV!LBH also demonstrates toxic masc behaviors, starting post-Abyss and up to Maigu Ridge. Noticeably, exactly when he had Xin Mo fucking him up - Xin Mo in general is symbolic of the "original" narrative, pushing SV!LBH to replicate the OG's behavior. And also it's a sword. The symbol of toxic masc version of the narrative is. A sword. RIP Freud you would've loved Scum Villain.
But what does "Bing-mei" stand for, if we detangle it from SQQ's 5D chess with his own sexuality? We know Bing-mei cooks and cleans and gives waist massages. We also know Bing-mei shows affection freely, and isn't embarrassed to cry, and has a sensitive heart. A man who is caring instead of controlling, a man who is not afraid to be vulnerable and emotional... Bing-mei side is meant to represent the healthy / soft masculinity.
And Luo Binghe's arc is rooted in the struggle between healthy and toxic sides of masculinity. What I think is tripping up a lot of people is that he starts at the healthy place, in his "white lotus" days. He is caring, he is affectionate, he shows the full range of emotion.
Then, the world comes for him, and he falls (or, yknow, is pushed) into toxic patterns of behavior. He hides his vulnerability, the only show of emotion he allows himself are outbursts of anger, he tries to control the person he loves... and thus hurts people around him and himself. His breakdown at Maigu Ridge is about thinking he can never be good enough, no matter what he does - see, the very idea that there's some level of achievement that can make a person unequivocally lovable is a toxic masc mindset!..
But the thing is, him breaking down here - admitting that he can't "win", showing the messy, undesirable, emotional side of himself - demonstrating that he can't be the Bing-ge version - is what opens up a path for him to communicate with Shen Qingqiu. Giving him the genuine connection he needed, that Bing-ge could never have. And thus allowing him to destroy the toxic-masculinity-representing sword.
So, the evolution path the author charts out for Luo Binghe from there on is him growing into the healthy masculinity patterns. Starting with, again, putting caring about his partner above controlling him and letting SQQ be brought back to Cang Qiong. Which SQQ didn't actually want, but we've already covered that he's his own kind of freak(affectionate). And continuing to try to do better by SQQ and listen to him (eg the whole SQQ refusing to share a bed and LBH acceding so easily SQQ was left reeling, because he was planning to agree once LBH pushed). And learning that he can show emotion and be validated for it (see Return to Childhood extra with its "if you are unhappy, say so"). And accepting that he doesn't need to be perfect to be loved (the guy faceplanted trying to propose and still got his man...). And, hell - count 'doing his best to learn how to pleasure his partner in bed' with this as well!
So, once again, as a closing note: I simply can't agree that Luo Binghe doesn't grow and evolve. You just have to let go of your preconceived notions of what his character should be like, and learn to see, understand, and appreciate what's there. The same arc Shen Qingqiu, his most faithful reader, goes through.
For a book as meta as SVSSS, that's obviously no coincidence.
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mayaperisic · 10 months
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From someone who read Azriel’s POV bonus chapter without having read any of the ACOTAR books beforehand:
Couple of months ago I stumbled upon Azriel’s POV bonus chapter and I have no idea how or why because I hadn’t yet started reading the books. I had some basic knowledge of the story and the characters thanks to TikTok and it was probably one of the ship war videos that made me search for the bonus chapter because I was intrigued what the heck was going on that was making everyone go to war over. So, I read the bonus chapter without being influenced by liking one ship or the other, just wanted to see why everyone was fussing over Azriel.
The first part of the bonus chapter with Azriel and Elain made me SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE. I read a lot of smutty books and dark romances so sex talk is not something I shy away from. But the way that scene was written made me physically uncomfortable and not just because of Azriel’s thoughts, but Elain’s behaviour also. I can’t explain it, but both of them felt so cringy. I kept reading because I wanted to understand the fuss over the other part of the bonus chapter but if I had to decide on entering the world of ACOTAR based on that first part I would have thrown it in the trash. Needless to say I was super happy when Rhys interrupted them.
And then came the second part of the bonus chapter with Gwyn and oh my God but what a change. Azriel transformed from a creep (sorry but that was the vibe he was giving me in the beginning) to romance books hero in 2 paragraphs just by changing the scenery and the female protagonist. His scene with Gwyn felt so genuine and warm and just like he felt something restless settling inside him I felt all of the uncomfortable feelings leaving me from the first part of the chapter to give room to this warmth I felt for the 2 of them. And then for me it was pretty obvious that the author was telling the readers: this is his girl. The scene, the way it is written, the words used for the training scene but also at the end in the library, for me it was pretty damn obvious they were gonna be a couple. And then I understood that the first part of the bonus chapter was supposed to make us feel uncomfortable so we could see the contrast with the second part, literally obviously saying: The first girl ain’t it. The second girl is who you should be looking at.
So all of this without having read the books. And no, I’m not lying about it. I’m 27 and have better things to do than make stuff up for a ship war.
And then I read the books and entered the SJM world (TOG, ACOTAR, CC) and I was super confused with all of the E/riel fans and their theories and arguments that made me question whether we read the same books. I saw no ‘build-up for 4 books’ (which he spent mostly in love with Mor), sure little cute moments here and there but without that bonus chapter I would have even said Azriel looked at Elain as a little sister to protect. The bonus chapter only told me he has deep personal trauma to heal. Sorry but the fact that he hadn’t thought about a future with Elain but just sex is no way in hell romantic. So, 4 books of build-up led to, well, that? And the fact that Elain was willing to kiss another guy in the same house where her mate was sleeping (whom she hasn’t rejected yet) doesn’t speak volumes of her either, only that she also has a lot of stuff to deal with.
When Sarah in her interview said that she thought it was pretty obvious about who the next book will be and that she left breadcrumbs in the bonus chapter, for me it was pretty obvious it would be Gwyn and Az (I felt that literally by having read only the bonus chapter before the books). All of their little moments in ACOSF, how Sarah wanted us to pay attention to their reactions to one another, left no room for doubt in my mind, just like I saw it instantly with 2 glances the first time Nessian met, and I felt the chemistry right away.
I could go on ‘till tomorrow but probably should stop here. Just had to write this out of genuine confusion at how people try to deny the obvious (literally what Sarah said) by using theories and arguments that only show they probably haven’t even read ACOSF or other SJM books, because she couldn’t be more obvious than that with her writing.
P.S. This feels the same like when season 1 of The Vampire Diaries aired and I instantly knew Damon and Elena were it. Didn’t even need proof, just had a gut feeling. And Stelena fans then were also aggressively explaining there was no way Delena would be a thing much less endgame, but oh, guess which ship won in the end?
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mwapollo · 4 months
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hello! quick question about your lore thing (and what would happen after) that you posted on tuesday-
do you believe any of the YHS and EVO stuff is affecting current HC9 Grian in any way? Like, anything he's done so far? Or has he moved on from the memories, the bad things, do you think?
(sorry if this is complicated lol- I'm just honestly curious)
hi! firstly, a big BIG thank you for the question, it absolutely made my day. the thought about someone enjoying the lore to the point where they want to go out of their way to know more warms my heart so much :) secondly, it's all connected. from YHS to HC9 and SL, it is a long story where previous decisions and experiences affect the present. Grian is in a constant growth as a character, so it is likely that YHS and EVO memories don't mean that much (like your memories from 6-8 years ago probably would), but he's human, after all, and we all use our past as a solid base where it comes to our actions and judgments. Grian is an anxious person (it is a fact about cc!Grian revealed by himself, so I think it can be implemented into the lore), and he's got an awful lot of bad experience from his first friendships, so-- in my opinion, it would be hard for him not to worry about his close friends now. it's like an emotional trauma, where the conflict might be gone, but the general view of the world stays. since you might want an example for this... do you remember the whole arc of rivalry with Doc?
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the reason why Grian did everything what he did to Doc is because his friendship with Mumbo was involved-- in a very hurtful way. imagine having no good or kind friends in your past, meeting someone like Mumbo, doing everything to keep it all together even through all the tough stuff, wanting to be his one and only best friend and doubting wether you can even be considered one, and then... getting this punch in the face?
Grian was so stressed in this episode. he thought he's ruined everything, it was hard for him to speak after the entrance to Mumbo's base blew up. but he did not say a word about his emotions or his feelings: the only thing he said is that no one can play with their friendship.
you can see that Grian is a reserved person when it comes to emotional bounds, he rarely speaks about it to viewers or -- especially -- to the person directly. the only way to analyze it is through his actions. I think his lack of communication skills in terms of emotions might be something from YHS or EVO, where he swallowed all the bad stuff and hid all his weak spots from others. but he's still very protective of what he might have, and this is the part where everything with 'don't let them push you down' shows.
SORRY FOR MAKING SUCH A LONG ANSWER. I have a feeling that I barely said anything. I only wanted to give you one example of how it might show in the present just to calm your curiosity down a bit, but there is far more of what I can tell about this matter.
I think, either my co-author @bc-jpeg or I will write about S6-9 and Traffic Life SMP's in this lore. stay tuned!
while you're waiting, I recommend: 1. watching LL and LIL POV's from Martyn Inthelittlewood, and then his watchers' lore streams (links: the first, the second). It stems from EVO and it is the main theory for our lore, if you enjoy this nerdy stuff and haven't watched it yet, it is worth it! a lot of content in the fandom is based on it, too. 2. if you enjoy our lore, I suggest reading the otherside disc theory, there is someting about Grian and Mumbo too :)
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rainbowpui · 8 months
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"SJ abused many talented disciples"
But it wasn't mentioned anywhere other than SY's chapters and I dont trust SY's pov on SJ especially not when he thought that SJ SA-ed NYY,SJ was in love with QHT, killed LQG and helped LBH to kill YQY.
LITERALLY SY is an unreliable narrator. he THINKS he knows everything about PIDW but most of what he thought at the beginning of the novel gets disproved. its... literally an important plot point that SY makes problems for himself bc hes too hung up on what he THINKS he knows about the characters. But like..... 99% of this is shown to be wrong....
in fact... realizing that almost everything he thought about sj is wrong.... is part of what makes him realize that what he has been thinking about LBH has been wrong too. why would we have to take his word from the START OF THE NOVEL about that when he discover he was wrong about everything else?
when sy wakes up all of sj's disciples were crowded around him worried and wanting for their shizun to wake up (except lbh). that.. doesnt exactly make me feel like they all hate him.
sy claims that sj was a lecher who lusted after his students..... but when we actually see sj's pov it turns out he isnt going to the brothels for sex but because thats the only place he can feel comfortable away from men bc of his trauma. we know its canon that he cares for nyy bc sy literally uses sj's care for her as a way to get around ooc and help lbh, but theres literally nothing to imply his affection is sexual in nature. sj saves qht and drags her away from the fire bc he feels indebted to her for being his only escape from the abuse by the other members of her household, not bc hes in love with her. even when saving her puts him in danger bc thats a loose end that can and does come back to bite him. tbh i cant say its canon that hes gay.... but he certainly doesnt seem to show any interest in women and gives "all of his loyalty" to another man and waits for him like a maiden waiting for her lover to return lol
we learn in the sqh extras that not only did sj not kill lqg in the caves but he tried to save him and just failed that time. we literally SEE sj save lqg on the mission with sqh and then get embarrassed and not even ask for credit for it.
sy blames sj for "killing yqy" but when we see the 79 extras.... he literally tries to push him away and tells him to leave when hes captured so that yqy stays safe and literally mentions that when he was FORCED BY LBH to write the letter he tried to make it obvious that its a trap. why is sj being blamed for lbh killing yqy just to hurt him???? sy CLAIMS to know everything about PIDW but literally the point mxtx is making by showing that sy is wrong about everything about sj.... is that maybe he doesnt know as much as he thinks... he thinks that lbh was the cause of the jinlani city plague as well and THAT is wrong too. (it was actually..... sy's fault. for releasing zzl.. OOPS.)
I dont care if he THOUGHT sj was like that at the start of the novel. hes not actually a reliable source!! esp at the start sj definitely DID abuse lbh. i dont think most sj stans will deny that or pretend that what he did was right. but.... we dont actually see him treat any other disciples poorly. if anything sy is the one making everyone else run laps and teaching them nothing to the point that sqh mentions that the disciples turn from "scholars" into "adhd children".... sy HIMSELF admits that its a good thing sj taught his students enough that they can basically run the sect on their own so that he can be lazy and do nothing and delegate to everyone else. i imagine that he might have been a bit strict as a teacher to the other students but thats not the same as abusing all of them. its literally just lbh he had an issue with
sometimes i feel like ppl didnt even read the same book when they take everything sy says at face value. hes a flawed character who is forced to rethink all the things he thought about BOTH sj AND lbh after witnessing sj's backstory makes him realize..... he cant actually assume he knows everything about these characters just bc he read PIDW. SQH himself admits that the sv universe is based on his rough draft, NOT on the dumbed down version that he was forced to write for the $$$ that sy ended up reading
somehow ppl can admit that sy was wrong about other characters but not about sj even when we see him proven wrong on screen??? its really strange... sj did SOME things wrong but not 99% of the shit ppl accuse him of
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Hello! Um, I don't know how welcome you are to asks but I kinda wanted to bring up this little headcanon I have of Michael that you may or may not find interesting? Iv posted about it somewhere on my blog, but to summarize it, here
Consider the potential of a Teenage Michael!
Hear me out! I just think there is a lot of potential, not only angst wise but also narrative wise.
I just love the idea of the head angel of the celetial relm being this scrawny teenage boy with issues.
Not only is he a teenager with the responsibility of being the mature older brother to the other angels, therefore, having to step up more in the absence of lucifer, but also having a lowkey abusive father who burdens him with religious trauma.
And I just loove the trope where it's like:
The younger siblings stays behind with abusive parents left to take care of the rest of their family because their older sibling left to live a healthier life. And resentment builds because they think their older sibling abomdoned them.
Also considering how I don't think the devs will make him a villian, I think it would make Michael look way more sympathetic if he was on the younger side.
Is this accurate to what the game has established Michael to be? Not really but they've retconned things before. Not that I'd ever think they'd go along with a concept like this.
Anyways I'm writing this at like 11pm so exuse the spelling errors, I'm so tired 🥲.
Ps. I really like your content :D
I actually REALLY like that, and the angst oh boy :")
I mean, looking back to NB S1 (spoilers!!!) with this in mind makes everything so much sadder. Like how he disguised himself as Raphael just to visit the others in the Devildom because he missed them and didn't know how to interact with them as himself. And also him giving Lucifer that ultimatum to either come back or make the Devildom an enemy of the Celestial Realm as a last attempt to bring his older brother and brothers back (even though deep down he knew they'd refuse) because he was struggling to step up and handle things on his own after he left, especially since the trauma of the war was still fresh for everyone (including himself) and he had to look after the traumatized part of the family that stayed, like you said.
Which is... heartbreaking.
Funny thing though: I always thought Michael to be the oldest one (or them being twins) and your ask made me start thinking about how that would play out in this scenario with the og game stuff in mind.
So like, the older sibling carrying resentment while also being happy for the youngest because they got tired of the abuse and had the courage to stand up to their parent and leave to have a happier life when he couldn't because he still feels tied to that parent and that it's his responsibility and duty to stay with them no matter what (think of Dean and Sam from SPN, who have this exact dynamic and a very complicated relationship with their father).
And then there's the whole thing about Michael being the one to cast out Lucifer and his brothers from the Celestial Realm, which only adds to this. It's like: the younger brother stood up to his father and was met with rage, so the oldest stepped up and to avoid something even worse from happening kicked him out of the house himself.
(@luckykittysshowerthoughts has an amazing post about this that has never left my mind ever since I read it and I recommend everyone reading it)
So we fast-forward to years and years later where the oldest is still living with their parents looking after the siblings who didn't leave while missing his younger brother, worrying for him, and wanting to know how he's doing. So he tries his best to stay in contact and know what's happening but since their relationship has been strained ever since what happened (because from the youngest's POV his older brother betrayed him by not taking his side and kicking him out of the house, which I think was how Lucifer felt for a long time before he saw the bigger picture as he got older) the youngest rejects his attempts at trying to contact him and the oldest's only way to know how he's doing is by sending his other siblings to check up on him or contact the people close to him.
Does he do it to the point where it gets annoying? Yes. Is his constant need to know how his brother is doing making said brother feel even more frustrated with him and only driving him further away? Yes. Would it have been better if he had left the brother alone and waited for him to reach out on his own? Yes. But he can't find it in himself to do that because he'd worry too much and miss him even more.
Tbh, I can see both of these scenarios being true together. So younger Michael right after the fall is still bitter and doesn't want to admit that he misses Lucifer and his brothers (he didn't seem to like to hear that Luke thought he missed them when talking to him as Raphael) and later accepting that and leaving a lot of that resentment behind to just be happy for them and miss them, wanting to know how they're doing often, etc.
So I definitely don't see him as evil either, but more of a broken younger/older sibling who wants to reconnect with his family and whose intentions are good but don't translate very well in his method of doing things.
Sorry for going on my own rambling here, lol
And I'm more than fine with asks, I love discussing stuff about the game and the characters <3
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beanghostprincess · 3 months
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I would like to know your thoughts on Boa x Luffy.
Because I have a few problems with this ship. (actually it´s mostly one, the others are more reasons why I don´t ship them)
First the age gap: Can´t say anything to it since I like Marco x Ace (I don´t won´t to think of that age different! )
A problem I have is that Boa seems to idolize Luffy and alredy wants to merry a 17Y old Luffy. And first I was like thats a bit creepy but then I stopped a moment to think. When I look of her behavior and her thoughts, she actually reminds me more of a little girl with her first crush. (lasteres is definitive true) While she wasn´t as lucky to grew up as isolated as most of the amazons (who didn´t even know what a man looks like) and has probably good reasons to hate men, she soesn´t know much about relationships.
I think, and I can´t believe I´m saying this, that Luffy is in this more mature than her in this. He clearly says that he won´t marry her. (and thank you Oda to not play it for laugh and make him not understand what she means) I´m pretty sure Luffy knows her feelings for him, but ignores it (doesn´t think about it).
What I really don´t like about this ship is actually not the ship itself (even if I don´t ship them), it´s some "shiper" when you can call them that. It´s when someon just ships them because Luffy NEEDS a love intrest (not true) or because with someone Luffy has to have children in the future (also not true!).
I hate that! Boa (and Luffy) deserve better than that. She is a strong independent women that is more than her crush on Luffy.
I could write so many reasons why I love Boa, but I wrote already so much (more than I wanted) and my cat is bothering me because she wants attention. ( how dare I not give her the attention she deservs? Love her.)
I usually have no issues with ships because if I don't like them I just ignore them, so I basically don't care about this ship? Like people be people. You do you. Hakuna Matata. I personally don't like it because it's not my type of thing and because the only reason Boa likes Luffy is because she feels safe around him the way she feels safe around Rayleigh. Men have always seen her (and still do) as an object, and she has managed to use her beauty against them and their stupidity and I love it. I love her. I find Boa and Luffy's dynamic really endearing because it's not only that she has a ""crush"" on him, but she trusts him and genuinely feels comfortable in his presence to the point of saying "well, if this goes wrong I'll just go to Luffy" (which is really fucked up actually because she should be more independent and relying on romantically/sexually is only a trauma response, but yeah, at least she has two men in her life she can trust). I think she doesn't love Luffy or have a crush on him at all. She's just captivated by him and how safe he makes her feel because he's one of the only two men who have never seen her as an object. So, from that POV I really like the dynamic, but not romantically/sexually at all. I honestly think she's a lesbian going through the biggest fucking case of comphet I've ever seen, but then again, no opinion on the ship other than I don't like it but people can do whatever they want as long as they don't bother me.
However, I must say I do agree with you on the fact that most Boa/Luffy shippers (dudebros, mostly) like the pairing because they think Luffy as a main character needs a female love interest, and since she's been pretty much the only girl who has explicitly displayed romantic feelings for Luffy, they just take it as canon without thinking about their relationship or characters in the slightest. These people just keep pushing a normatively straight and allo agenda that I can't fucking stand. But, well, it's not like I interact with them so whatever.
Most people see this ship as problematic for the age difference and I find that pretty much stupid because usually the main problem with age difference is the level of maturity and power imbalance, but in this case, Boa is just down bad for him and she's a bit annoying at times (honestly, I keep saying it's just her coping mechanism often played as a joke for her character). And Luffy knows that she is because he has refused to get married to her multiple times. People act like Luffy is this naive kid who doesn't know what love/sex is, but the guy is just... Not interested. He doesn't seem bothered by her either? If Luffy genuinely disliked Boa for this he would've said so. He is a very direct and honest character. He likes Boa. He's friends with her. He'll help her if needed and he cares about her. However, he just doesn't like her romantically and... That's pretty much it? It's not that deep from Luffy's POV, honestly.
And when people call Boa a predator (I've seen that) I just feel uh... Conflicted with their opinion. Because a predator is somebody who has these patterns and keeps wanting/liking kids/really young people and keeps insisting whether or not they want it and they're, well, pervs, basically. Boa's feelings for Luffy are, like you said, pretty much shown as a high school innocent crush. The way she acts around him is to rely on him rather than take advantage of him, because, I repeat, all men in her life have used her and now that she has a male friend who doesn't see her as an object, she copes with having a crush on him. Which is really sad and it has happened to me and to a lot of lesbians with bad past experiences and... Seeing people call her out like this as if she were some big evil predator makes me feel really uneasy and worried about the reading skills of this fandom. Have you considered that... Even if there's an age gap... Some people don't have bad intentions and adults can also be traumatized? Like, I'm not saying this would be okay in real life, because it wouldn't (even if her behavior is understandable from a psychological POV), but in fiction? I think Boa is a pretty complex and well-written character and she has her reasons behind this comedic gag, even if it doesn't seem like it. Oda likes to exaggerate these things, with Sanji, for example. Y'all would literally hate Sanji in real life for how he treats women most of the time and we all acknowledge it's a comedic gag that got out of hand.
I'm not sure if I'm wording this right, but basically: Boa doesn't like Luffy romantically/sexually and just mistakes feeling safe with those types of attraction. I don't like the ship for that reason, and most shippers only ship them without having any understanding of their characters at all and because they just want a main straight pairing. It can be seen as problematic for the age gap and it's a running gag that can make people uncomfortable, yes, and I understand. But that does not make Boa a pedo/predator and y'all keep using those words very very freely to the point of them losing their true meaning.
Now this ended up being kind of an essay on them rather than my opinion so, TL;DR: I don't like the ship but they're cute friends.
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midnights-dragon · 2 months
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My Good Omens Masterlist (midnightdragons on ao3)
I have a LOT, and if you just want the list on ao3, the full series is here. This list will be periodically updated, but feel free to reblog!
One-Shots:
Delicate (4,068 words) — Aziraphale attempts to calm and comfort Crowley after a nightmare about his Fall. Takes place sometime during the 11 years before the Not-Apocalypse. POV Aziraphale.
Your Beauty Never, Ever Scared Me (1,763 words) — Very short and sweet, also takes place sometime during the 11 years before the Not-Apocalypse; Aziraphale asks why Crowley keeps his sunglasses on around him. POV Aziraphale.
Ouroboros (7,796 words) — Takes place after season 2. In short, it's the obligatory 'Crowley coping terribly and Aziraphale coming to his senses and returning' fic that I wrote, of course, to cope after The Kiss. Lots of symbolism to a snake eating its tail, as well as the universe, as well as a spinning coin, as well as Crowley's dynamics with Muriel, Nina, and Maggie. POV Crowley.
Smokey Eyes (3,686 words) — Jimbriel lights a candle in the bookshop without knowing the rules, and Crowley is spooked at the scent of smoke in the shop. Aziraphale offers comfort. POV Crowley.
From Eden (11,085 words) — Another fic that takes place after season 2. Aziraphale returns to London after realizing the corruption in Heaven cannot be fixed, and seeks out Crowley in an attempt at reconciliation. Crowley doesn't believe him, thinking he's only there to trick him and then leave again, and Aziraphale finds himself expressing his apology in a less-than-conventional way. POV Aziraphale.
But The Smoke Clears When You're Around (4,967 words) — After the Armageddon that wasn't, Crowley can't rid himself of the trauma caused by a certain event, and shields himself with defensive anger and a mask of irritation. Aziraphale convinces him that it's okay to rest and recover. Pure sleepy fluff comfort and domestic intimacy. One of my personal favorites. POV Alternating.
lay my curses out to rest (make a mercy out of me) (8,438 words) — Greek Mythology AU; gorgon Crowley (like Medusa), and Greek warrior Aziraphale, who has been tasked to kill the monster. POV Aziraphale.
but i might be hopin' about this (oh, what a sin) (1,362 words) — After Aziraphale leaves, Crowley grieves, and listens to Hozier, and grieves some more. Mostly a songfic of From Eden. POV Crowley.
you fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time (but that's okay, I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine) (3,376 words) — Aziraphale falls asleep in the Bentley, and Crowley begrudgingly gives up his favorite pastime of violating traffic laws and breaking the sound barrier with Queen music to allow him to rest. Probably one of the fluffiest things I've ever written, because I just love sleepy intimacy. POV Crowley.
Great Divide (3,595 words) — The missing scene from s2ep6 of Crowley's full discussion with Maggie and Nina, where he tells someone, for the first time, the things he's felt that have gone unsaid for six thousand years. POV Crowley.
Penance That Comes With the Lack of Proper Closure (5,928 words) — Inspired by an ask (my asks are open for writing ideas/requests!) by @ineffableserpentsss. After the averted Apocalypse, Aziraphale forgets himself and sends a report to Heaven. This does not go over well, and Crowley is there to help Aziraphale process through the grief of being unwanted by his God. POV Aziraphale.
in the low lamplight i was free (heaven and hell were words to me) (2,017 words) — My own rendition of the infamous bus fics based on the newfound revelation that Crowley and Aziraphale canonically held hands on the bus. Casual intimacy, and cuddling, and the new beginning of 'their side'. POV Aziraphale.
Temporarily Not On Different Sides (or, the Beginning of Our Side) (3,757 words) — Set directly after the Job minisode; Aziraphale is grappling with the weight of his decisions against God's Will, and Crawley very awkwardly attempts to be a semblance of emotional support. Their (friendship? relationship? arrangement?) begins to develop in earnest. Ft. Crawley wiping away Holy Water tears. POV Aziraphale.
Snowflakes and Starshine (1,428 words) — Crowley and Aziraphale have holiday traditions, just like humans do. One of them: a silly competition to see if there's more star or angel decorations, respectively. Plotless Christmas/Holiday fluff. POV Aziraphale.
Nightingales Not Yet Sung (1,757 words) — Extended scene of Soho, 1967. Aziraphale expresses his worry for Crowley, and the tartan thermos of the Holiest Water. POV Crowley.
angel, just put your sweet lips on my lips (2,617 words) — Short and sweet season 3 speculation that I wrote to celebrate when it was confirmed, and borne in Neil's statement of 'they aren't talking'. It's very self-indulgent, with lots of kisses and a happy ending despite the angst. POV Aziraphale.
Nightingale's Lament (1,886 words) — Season 3 speculation fic. Crowley has to drive Aziraphale somewhere in the Bentley. They aren't talking. The Bentley is not going to stand for that. POV Crowley.
The Opposite of Eternal Damnation (2,349 words) — Fully inspired by Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach (or, the Crowley Therapy Fic) by Nnm — it's a missing scene of Aubrey, Crowley, and Aziraphale in the bookshop. Ft. Sleepy Intimacy and a therapist having many revelations about a client's rough exterior but soft interior. POV Aubrey Thyme/Outsider.
New Year's Resolutions (1,355 words) — This one's pretty self-explanatory, I wrote it for the New Year. Aziraphale and Crowley share New Year's Eve together in the bookshop, along with some extraordinary amounts of alcohol. Takes place before the Not-Apocalypse, sometime during the 11 years. POV Aziraphale.
it would feel like this (984 words) — Crowley has a migraine; Aziraphale takes care of him. Purely self-indulgent. POV Crowley.
Of Rosaries and Burnt Palms (1,516 words) — Aziraphale wears a rosary round the bookshop, and does not think of the consequences. Whumpy hurt/comfort. POV Aziraphale.
fell in love with the fire long ago (11,186 words) — Crowley is a firefighter; Aziraphale is an EMT. A First Responders Human AU one-shot of their 'first' (whumpy but fluffy) meeting, inspired by artwork by @tanpopomugishu. POV Crowley.
The Rules of Chess (977 words) — Crowley & Aziraphale enjoy playing chess in the bookshop. Plotless fluff, ambiguous POV but mostly Aziraphale-thoughts-centered. <3
Cast Thou Send Lightnings? (2,747 words) — Inspired by an ask from @moriarty4life; A brief argument between angel and demon spirals a bit out of control when Crowley's tendency to become struck by lightning when caught up in the throes of his smoking anger makes itself known. Basically; Crowley's lightning thing explained, but in an angsty way. POV Aziraphale.
Interlaced (896 words) — More plotless fluff! In a shared moment of peaceful intimacy in the South Downs, Aziraphale braids Crowley's hair. Inspired by an anonymous ask/request. POV Crowley.
soothe the burns on your palms (2,875 words) — Another work inspired by the art of @tanpopomugishu! Aziraphale has lost an emergency patient in his care, and Crowley comforts him. POV Crowley.
Multi-Chapters:
brought by the sunlight of the spirit (to pour into rain) (38,964 words, 7 chapters) — Please heed the tags with this one. Crowley is punished by Hell in the worst way imaginable, and is left in a state that leaves him, in his own words, broken. Aziraphale tries to pick up the pieces. POV Crowley.
Pull Up the Ladder When the Flood Comes (16,796 words, 3 chapters) — Crawley saves children during the Flood in Mesopotamia, and finds himself in an even more jeopardizing situation as he seeks out shelter. Aziraphale struggles with his own internal conflict, but attempts to help all the same. I wrote this for religious catharsis. POV Alternating.
you will crawl on your belly and eat dust all the days of your life (14,790 words, 5 chapters) — One of my personal favorites. Crowley sheds his skin; it's painful, and uncomfortable, and luckily for him only happens every few centuries. Unfortunately, he no longer has the luxury of a safe place to crawl away to and sleep thanks to Shax and Hell, as he is homeless, living in his Bentley; until the Bentley brings him to Aziraphale, who cares for a rather begrudging snake. POV Crowley.
Aim For My Heart (6,793 words, 2 chapters) — The second chapter is an NSFW/Smut ending. Missing scene from directly after the Bullet Catch scene, to the scene in the dressing room. Aziraphale didn't realize how genuinely scared Crowley was at the prospect of hurting him, and in fear, a lot of things are said, and a lot of things are revealed. POV Aziraphale.
i wanna grab both your shoulders and shake, baby (snap out of it) (24,075 words, 6 chapters) — Aziraphale comes back to Crowley after leaving for Heaven, but he is not Aziraphale; someone else has taken him over, with the intention of teaching him a lesson through Crowley's blood on his hands. I've been told that this one sends people into cardiac arrest, especially going in blind without reading the tags. POV Crowley.
Strays on the Street (54,252 words, 13 chapters) — This is the longest fic I have ever written, and it's a goddamn cat AU. I've made fanart of this. Crowley is a hardened, long-abandoned street cat, and Aziraphale has been recently kicked to the streets, sure that it must be some mistake and that his good owners are coming back at any moment. POV Alternating.
Coffee Breath (28,680 words, 6 chapters) — A rather cliche but cute human AU story with bookshop owner!Aziraphale, plant shop owner!Crowley, and a meet-cute involving spilt coffee, with angst but also lots of fluff because we all need a cute little story sometimes. Featuring a bonus chapter with their "first time." I have done multiple fan arts of this. POV Alternating.
screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing (10,324 words, 3 chapters) — Aziraphale comes to Crowley's aid when the latter is attacked and left beaten by demons, and the angel takes care of him while he's too weak to do it himself. Very unapologetic whump and BAMF Aziraphale. POV Aziraphale.
Serpent's Requiem (6,520 words, 2 chapters) — Supreme Archangel Aziraphale recognizes a certain demon's signature when approving a contract for the new Duke of Hell. POV Aziraphale.
by his breath the skies became fair; his hand pierced the gliding serpent (12,639 words, 4 chapters) — Sequel fic to the shed fic! Crowley sheds again a century later, in the South Downs cottage, only this time he has Aziraphale at his side to help him through it. Contains vomiting, heed the tags! POV Crowley.
Happy reading! Thank you to everyone who's ever recommended one of my fics; it's always an astonishment.
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kaybreezy3000 · 2 months
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Master Post
~~~ I aim to please and consider all suggestions and requests via my ‘Ask Stuff’ button, so feel free to drop me an idea if you’d like to see anything specific in my writing or art, or if you have any thoughts you want to share~~~
List with links for my stories and art featuring Number Five (TUA)
-see summaries and detailed tags on individual stories once you click the links
'Hargreeves Home for Wayward Boys' ~(rated G since you can skip the sexually explicit parts and still enjoy the story) (8711 words)
~Five is your employer and he's not happy with you. As the night unfolds, you have a very unexpected encounter with him...
~This story takes place where we left off with season three, but 5 years later. The name is a nod to hints of what might be coming, though I doubt the Netflix writers are going with my little storyline I have created for you.
~This one is sort of gift to all fanfiction readers and writers. May you always keep passwords on our documents and devices, or maybe not... 😂👌
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'Free at Last' - a short, general rated, image based/comic book style story blip of Dolores and Five
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‘Bad Things’
Five Hargreeves/Reader Insert (rated explicit for sexual content) (49,996 words)
Full Summary and Chapter One and Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five, Six, and Seven
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‘The Anti Hero’s Pitfall of Arrogance’
Five Hargeeves/Female OC (rated explicit for sexual content-see AO3 version for the Teen and up version) (44,599 words)
Chapter One and Two
Chapter Three and Four
Chapter Five, Six, and Seven
AO3 Teen and up Version
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‘In The Flesh’
Five Hargreeves/Reader Insert (rated G) (5337 words) (special request based off an extended scene from 'The Anti Hero’s Pitfall of Arrogance.’)
Link to 'In The Flesh’
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'The Devil Within’
Five Hargreeves/Reader Insert (rated explicit for sexual content) (23,134 words)
Chapter One and Two
Chapters Three and Four
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Paramour (The Umbrella Academy 3-part series)-Rated Teen because you can skip the many sexually explicit parts or potential triggers with chapter warnings and detailed end notes for what you missed in those parts.
-If you love Five and long rollercoaster ride stories that you can get lost in than this is a great read for you.
Five’s POV and centered on him, but it has all the Hargreeves and Female OC love interest, stays very true to cannon themes and for Character’s personalities.
- See specific tags per-story on A03
Part One: 'Number Five and the Girl  (227,442 words) (Starts pre-season one, age 16, coming of age angst, humor, sexual activity and trauma)
Part Two: 'Infinity’ (417,307 words) (Starts right at start of season three but not a show rewrite, and full of shockers and fun and angst and fluff and plenty of explicit fun)
Part Three: 'Oblivion’ (152,100 words) (Hurt Five and Sexy Five galore, my version season four finale)
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'No More the Victim’  
(132,130 words) (rated E-see tags in AO3) (Five in a very dark place/hurt/comfort/redemption)
~This one is a Five pairing with a trans female, because let's face it, who better to show us what real love and acceptance means than Five, who is amazing and can do anything and his awesome chick can too. 🏳️‍🌈 Even if this isn't your normal pairing perhaps give it a try-they are very good together.
Starts after very dark post Season Three but does get much lighter, angst, first-time, Trans Female OC pairing, finding yourself, revenge, unexpected romance, sub/dom, sexual humor, overcoming tragedy. Five’s time travel fix-it optional finale to the show. 
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My co-authored works with Bad_Kitty
Link to all Bad_Kitty’s private works on AO3)
'The Text Mess’ (5576 words) (rated Teen and up) (Five and Klaus)
A text-based format story done with actual textboxes and phones to make it more fun. Full of hilarious images, sexual humor, Five is Five and Klaus is Klaus in this make you laugh and get the feels short story. Takes place in a blip in time post season three.
'Sharp Dressed Man’  (5514 words) (rated Explicit for sexual content)
Five and his lady love Vivian one shot based off of Bad_Kitty’s Halo Series-see link above. Humor based, sexy Five doing his sexy daddy thing. Christmas time story with a few of the other Hargreeves. Closet sexy craziness.
'When Number Five Steps out, He’s Gonna Do you In’ (8730 words, rated Explicit for sexual content)
The sequel one-shot to 'Sharp Dressed Man.’ Sexual humor, frustrated Five doing New Years things with the family. Lots of feels, sexy Five, a few of the fam, daddy Five getting it done and checking his naughty list off for the year. 
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My Art Featuring Number Five (TUA)
To view my Five art features on Tumblr hit this link
For stuff not on Tumbler see Original Five art from my various works  at this link (rated General)
Hand drawn sketches, graphic art in later chapters. 
My Naughtier Themed Number Five art (rated Mature)
Graphic art, sexual themes but nothing explicit
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sitp-recs · 11 months
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Save the Date by @mallstars
Harry/Draco (2023, Explicit, 123k)
In the twelve years after the war, Harry attends sixteen weddings. As friends and acquaintances vow their lives to one another, he watches quietly from the sidelines. Step by step, Harry pieces himself back together, builds a life from the wreckage of his past and falls, slowly and thoroughly, for Draco Malfoy. A story told in sixteen parts, of patient and transformative love, of queerness, of reaching out and holding on. Featuring plenty of pining, Gilderoy Lockhart getting married in a fever dream of glitter and product placement, and Rita Skeeter spitting a steady stream of venom at Harry and Draco's every move.
“Perhaps this was how much of Divination worked. Showing you something you wanted, or didn't want, and urging you along a path. Sitting in the freezing ground on a Bulgarian mountain as the sun commenced its journey up the sky, Harry made a decision. He would get to know someone, the way he knew Ron and Hermione. Better, even, if he was capable of that. It was evident, really, who he wanted that person to be - and Padma seemed to approve. It had to be Draco Malfoy.”
Since I’ve been talking and getting asks about my most recent read I’ve decided this would be a good opportunity to write a brand new rec, and hopefully send more people on their way to this story. I’ve been in the mood for longer fics lately but it’s getting harder and harder to binge anything over 30k, so instead of pressuring myself to rush through it I’ve decided to take my sweet time and embrace the experience over the past week.
Curiously, I found this fic thanks to the author herself! We bonded over our shared interest in a niche fic kink (isn’t that how it always starts!) and she mentioned that earlier this year she published her first fic, one she was very proud of. Naturally I had to ask for a link to check it out and I’m so happy that I did. This story is a long, aching and deeply emotional love letter to Harry, carefully exploring his trauma and post-war struggles in such a compassionate way it gave me a lump in the throat. From dealing with his childhood abuse and a general lack of sense of purpose after the war, to coming to terms with his fame and sexuality to finally allowing himself to be happy and fulfill his resolution: getting to know someone, deeply. I love how that scene puts everything into motion, giving the fic a magical and serendipitous tone that helped me get through the angsty slow burn knowing that Drarry was more than endgame, it was inevitable. The tea leaves willed so!!!!
We follow Harry’s melancholy and introspective POV for about 12 years, each one marked by a different wedding he attends. There’s this weary wistfulness about the way he sees things that really touched me, as he struggles to find his place and pines on for Draco. We celebrate the friends and acquaintances we get to know through his eyes, one wedding at a time - and what a fantastic cast! I especially loved seeing more of Angelina as she’s not usually explored in fic. From Blaise’s to Lockhart’s to Ron’s to Hagrid’s, each wedding ceremony offers a new setting for Harry’s self-reflection and advances the Drarry agenda offering him new ways to get to know Draco and himself. They don’t always meet or talk but Draco’s always at the back of his mind, even before the resolution is made, and I found that quite romantic!
I wasn’t expecting this fic to span over so many years but instead of never-ending pain where you don’t quite understand why they can’t kiss and make out already, Harry’s pining is soft and tentative; it allows him to grow, explore his own sexuality and learn how to be comfortable in his own skin before reaching out to Draco. Despite being unavailable for some time, we don’t really need Draco’s POV to know he’s aching for Harry just as desperately. But we do get a glimpse of his mind through their correspondence, which is how they actually fall in love.
Watching their friendship blossom through the letters made me so soft and happy I didn’t want it to end. I think that was my favourite chapter and and I’m not even that much of an epistolary enthusiast! But their written exchanges create the most delicious anticipation and oh, when they finally get together they’re both so sure and devoted to each other it feels earned and right. I love how the fic paces the progression of Harry’s initial obsession towards a calmer, reserved and patient love. Just like he wished many years before, he gets to know someone deeply: this reformed and fascinating tea shop owner Draco, who adores his mom, is there for his friends, says Harry’s name with adoration and has a fondness for flowers and owls 🥹
If you’re looking for a cathartic pining!Harry journey, with gentle slow burn and satisfying payoff - the endearments! the smut! be still my heart - this long fic is an absolute treat. Check it out today then let’s get started on @mallstars’s new time loop wip!
Read on AO3!
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not-poignant · 1 month
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Hey, hey! Random kind-of-writer here, who struggles to bring words on paper and looking for help/advice? I think I finally found my problem, which comes in the shape of 'my third person pov writing sounds like an ikea building instruction'. AKA: All that what the pov character perceives is there, things are happening/the plot is there but the writing kind of lacks thoughts/feeling/inner monolog? For years I've followed your stories and I look up to your writings skills. Especially you handling of pov and that gorgeous mixture of what the character perceives and what is happening in their head. Do you have maybe any tips/insight how do you find a balance?
Hi anon!
So firstly I'm going to point you to my dialogue research post that I put up recently, because dialogue research applies to a characters inner dialogue as well, and will kind of give you a guide as to how they're likely to be talking in their heads. (How I write as the narrator in A Stain that Won't Dissolve is actually somewhat similar to how Alex speaks, I even go out of my way not to use certain words if I don't think Alex would know what they mean).
Otherwise there's several approaches you can take.
You can imagine that the character is basically writing a journal entry or a diary entry. The narrator is, in a way, piggy backing off that. You're a fly on the wall of a character's brain. Sometimes they're going to have lots of thoughts, sometimes they're going to have none. Sometimes my characters are literally just narrating what's happening no thoughts attached, sometimes they're narrating with thoughts attached, and sometimes they're just thinking about stuff and missing what's going on in front of them.
Diary entries are like that too. They can vary from 'today I did this, did this, walked the dog, had this for dinner, and read some of this book' to 'oh my GOD I HATE this person sO MUCH and I really can't BELIEVE this is happening to me omg the DOG needs to be walked I keep FORGETTING.'
Somewhere in there, is your character.
Some characters are more - for lack of a better word - detached or utilitarian than others, some have their voices 'come to life' over the course of a story, because they're growing (Gwyn can be a bit like this).
Some characters are very observational, some are stuck in their heads. Some ground themselves through noticing their surroundings, others notice how other people are acting and behaving (especially true with trauma, Astarion notices setting way less than he notices how people are behaving around him).
It might help you to write down some little sentences like 'this character notices people a lot because people hurt them' or 'this character looks for nature because they like nature' or 'this character is very sensitive to smells so they constantly are aware of how things smell.'
From there, I am very sorry to say, it's just a matter of practice! This stuff becomes easier the more you do it. At first, it will be normal for the characters to feel a bit mechanical and not very natural, and that's because you're still building the skills you need to bring them to life from the ground up. Most writers don't have these skills even if they know what they're supposed to be learning, and they can only be learned through trying, making some mistakes, having some successes, and keeping on with the words.
How you write the first paragraph of a character this year, will be very different to next year, if you just keep writing.
Unfortunately, you can't skip past that part either. I can give you lots of tips, and you can do lots of research and guidance for yourself, but at the end of the day the best way to make it feel natural and have some depth, is to actually just keep writing characters and reflecting on what you've written, notice the paragraphs you like as well as the ones you don't, and building and building from there.
I wish you all the words, anon! It's normal to feel dissatisfied with your writing sometimes, that means you know you have room to grow - but the best thing is, you're already growing if you're noticing this stuff!!! That's actually a positive! You'll go through periods of feeling satisfied, and then dissatisfied, if you keep on keeping on, and looking at what the writers you love are doing, you'll eventually really just pick it up until it feels quite natural to you <3
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andypantsx3 · 2 months
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Ok Andy this had been on my mind for a while now and I really want to hear your thoughts on this!
So we all know that Shouto is pure husband material, the kinda guy you'd be proud to introduce to your parents! But yk all those years of abuse and trauma (our poor bby ;-;) would definitely take a big toll on anyone, right?! So I was reminiscing about the earlier episodes where he is all closed off and cold to everyone, and that really got me thinking... what would dating Shouto REALLY be like.
How much of his behavior in a relationship really be affected by his past? Obviously nobody is perfect and even though our princess man comes close what do you think his shortcomings are as a person/partner? What do you think his toxic traits would be? What could be some of his bad habits? How would he react during an argument? I used to hc that he would be really calm and passive but then I remembered this scene
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Ofc us being his partner would change things, but he DOES lash out at times. The police officer hadn't yelled at them, he was just explaining what they did was wrong according to the law (which could be unfair but thats his job) and he straight up called him a slur 💀 (well yk in this society where so many ppl have animal related quirks it probably is a slur? Idk tho). He was sorry later but still. I was so shocked when I internalized the fact that Shouto does infact have quite a temper, even when he's not rude/ aggressive about it. It doesn't make him bad or anything because 9/10 times it's well warranted and I am just a pussy who doesn't handle other's anger well but yk...
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WHO WOULD EXPECT A TEMPER FROM THIS LIL FACE?!
I am really wanna take his character and study him under a microscope and I am really interested to see your pov on this. Also don't feel inclined to agree with anything I said if you dont, I asked you precisely cuz I wanted a different way of looking at him from mine.
Btw none of this is to paint him as a bad person or partner because of a few shortcomings or his trauma. We all know he's too precious for that and that would be hypocritical of me especially since I have many of my habits and unhealthy ways of dealing with stuff that I dislike, but I also feel like he has so much angst potential in issues that aren't necessarily rooted in his family but moreso his own personality. Healing is often a "one step forward and three step back journey" and while I hate to watch him struggle, his perseverance gives me a lot of strength. Also obviously people change over the course of time and character development and all that, but we see even after the MASSIVE amounts of character development Bakugo has he still retains a lot of his previous qualities and obviously still struggles with a few things. I wonder if it's similar for Shouto. I wonder what he struggles with 🤔 (idk why I am scared but I don't want ppl to take these dumb sleepy thoughts of mine the wrong way yk lol)
I support my mans rights, his wrongs and everything in between :>
(p.s. I am so sleepy rn I don't even know if any of this is coherent cuz the points are flying all over the place but I hope you get a gist of what I am trying to ask. I love myself some sweet angst when it comes to all my blorbos but when I think of Shouto nothing obvious comes to mind. Also whenever I write even an ask or question like this my respect for writers keeps increasing tenfold! How do you guys write fics at like 4 am and it's still a masterpiece and I can barely string my thoughts together... )
Yes!!! I have so many thoughts about this, particularly as someone who also has daddy issues and a hot temper but actively works to be better as well lol.
I do think for the most part we've really seen Shouto move past who he was in those earlier episodes. That is not to say he still doesn't have those feelings, but he arguably manages them in a more regulated way. He has the temper but now he also has the tools and the perspective to better articulate himself.
I think generally Shouto would work hard to be calm and patient during an argument, but as with any human being, mistakes will be made and tempers will spike. I think during particularly bad arguments he'd get more closed off, like in those earlier episodes, would try to go off by himself so that he doesn't explode with that white-hot rage.
I do think, thankfully, that Shouto's ability to show empathy and compassion even in the middle of what we know are the most emotionally trying times of his life (the fights with Dabi), bodes well for his future ability to communicate and regulate himself on the whole. I do not see him as the kind of man who would yell or break things; I see him as the kind of man who now does everything in his power not to be like that.
And also with a face like that, would we not just let him win any argument anyway?? LOL
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