#the one you'll always come back to

[demi-pixellated]

A Trilogy, Completed

#Fire Emblem: 3 Houses #Fire Emblem Warriors: 3 Hopes #FE3H #FEW3H #Claude von Reigan #Hilda Valentine Goneril #Fanart #MSPaint Draw #did this one in paint bc you'll have to pay me to open up photoshop again #((by that i mean my work/school subcription ran out AGES ago so i only ever could have come back to do this on msp)) #but forever and always #they shall be goofs

[torchickentacos]

.

#the 'they would not fucking do that' meme is starting to feel like yall just wanna make fun of people's headcanons #but tumblr is not ready for that conversation lmao #'they wouldn't start a family' okay maybe that's just not your trope. i get it. not mine either usually #but like. maybe they WOULD in that person's fic! maybe we can learn to like that trope more!!! #idk man my creative philosophy has always been 'have fun and let everyone else have fun too' #like. i get so sad when people make a point to disagree with headcanons #maybe it's a specific sore spot for me after Situations and Circumstances #but just. we can all coexist. we don't need to prop one thing up as ULTIMATE 'HE WOULD DO THAT AND NOTHING ELSE' #it comes back to how canon is more important to some people than others #but we all have to coexist in the fandom spaces anyways and find ways to get along #we can have different ideas all meshing and coexisting!!! i do it with my friends every single day!!!!! #like!!! palletshipping and oakshipping are holding hands and skipping off into the sunset in my friend group #same with contest and respect. vibing #we make it work. we vibe with other people and have fun #i promise you'll like fandom more if you focus on the happy parts of it and not the parts you hate

[theseventhveil1945]

rewatched the renji ichigo fight + the star and the stray episodes yesterday and the renruki romance is so beautifully understated thinking about it literally makes my heart ache

#like to spend 40 years yearning for someone and carving out a place for yourself in this society that is so alien from the one you #grew up in and it values strength above all so you learn to fight and love the violence so one day you can feel worthy of the person you #always thought was above you even when you both came from the gutter and eventually you reach a place where you finally feel equal to that #person and you have a chance to speak but you don't take it because you've waited this long what's one more month? you'll talk to her when #she gets back except she doesn't come back. not when she was supposed to #then you learn she's committed a capital offense and you're sent to arrest her and you're furious at her but that's nothing compared to how #furious you are at yourself and the fact that this place that you worked so hard to become someone that mattered in is now putting the one #person you did it all for to death #like god kubo tite the man that you are #renruki #bleach

[bygideonsgrace]

It genuinely makes me very sad to see other transfems and other butches that are super pro-callout and anti-restorative justice because all I can think is

#These acts will always hurt our most vulnerable and to see people put themselves on the block for it is sad. Have you no self preservation? #Have you no solidarity? #But also just. It'll always come back to bite you. You'll never be 'one of the good ones'. It's simply not possible.

[jils-things]

i know me and my friends tend to joke a lot over how red is (hc) huge and how hes basically caked up and down 😭😭but that genuinely comforts me because i can hug someone and feel super warm and comfy (aka chest lol) but i mean this in the most wholesome way i promise asdkaldkadjak <3333🥺

#youll get an eepy appleshipping art one day and you'll understand where im coming from #~ rambling #~ lovemail #this is me responding to that poll btw HEAUEHUAHA my main answer is still shoulders #back then i dont hug people (out of shyness) and in my last school hugging always was immediately recognized to be /rom so i rarely hug #but when i switched schools everyone seemed to recognize platonic friendship better than the last and i remember being hugged by a taller- #classmate of mine when i greeted him a happy birthday and i was immediately surprised over two things #1) he hugged me (which again - was rare for me because of last school influence) and then 2) his hug was super... warm and #i just liked it a whole lot - and given his broad shoulders its like i was hugging a big bear HAKHSAJFHAFHJSAF so yeah thats why i like the #i wanted to experience that again so i always find myself hugging my peers (doesnt matter who. i loved the warmth) and i always get excited #i have a classmate rn who im super close to and we always hug it out and it comforts me a whole lot (while also simulating that goofy feeli #of... omg (f/o) hugging me eeek LOL SORRYA DJASSJKFHSKFJFHAHKF😭😭😭😭 #thats why i always appreciate seeing red a little bigger than his actual model because i always get reminded of that moment #yea <3 #red.rom

[thisloev]

happiest birthday to the love of my life @loverrgf baby hiii i am wishing praying begging god for you to get all the happiness and love and success in the world and i hope life loves you more treats you kinder in this upcoming year and you achieve everything you've dreamed and yearned of and you know ive never been good at keeping promises but i am promising you that whatever happens i am always here for you by your side cheering you on listening to you waiting for you loving you okay? so quickly be done with your exams and come back to me because i love you so much and i miss you so much and i need my daily dose of talking to you about nothing and everything for like two hours every night okay ily ❤

#sorry that this is a mess i do not have your amazing web weaving mb making skills i am your fellow disciple 🛐 #i know you're scared about the future and 20 but please believe me i promise it's gonna be fine one day you'll look back and be proud of #how far you've come how you persisted even in the worst situations #also im always here for you okay no matter our stupid fights my drama and jealousy and everything i love and appreciate you and i miss you #be annoying and sending 500 asks a day and i miss you sending blurry mirror selfies and pictures of the cat and YOUR POETRY MOST OF ALL #i miss your brain and your heart ily so much you're so special okay my favoritest so shut up and be happy because #im very happy that you were born today 20 years ago today the world would be a boring and pathetic and dark and stupid place without u #okay im shutting up now ily ily ily <33 #vio love

[ybcpatrick]

sorry to be into taylor swift out loud but i'm gonna be a whole different genre of annoying when speak now (tv) drops

#shut up kell #I FUCKING LOVE THAT RECORD 👹👹👹👹👹 #i'm more excited abt this one than i was abt red (tv). AND I WAS VERY EXCITED ABT RED (TV). #sparks fly. enchanted. better than revenge. FUCKING HAUNTED. I F T H I S W E R E A M O V I E ‼️‼️‼️‼️ #IF THIS WERE A MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #BACK TO DECEMBER HOW COULD I FORGET BACK TO DECEMBERRRR #also: hey taylor can we get a fuckin uhhhhh. you'll always find your way back home (tv). like from hannah montana the movie #ik that was closer to fearless era i just also don't fuckin care #i want it. #kell ybcpatrick coming out as a swiftie 😔🙏 sorry bros the music is good as fuck. i'm neutral 2 her as a person but i eat the music up #taylor swift #<- for the friends who blacklist

[gayspock]

what if I wss emo instead 🤔

#Egg.txt #Sorry im going to my graduation bc they actually let me defer it #But I realise again why I felt like I shouldn't go man #It's always just so depressing going to ''leavers'' celebrations and everyone's crying and reminiscing on the good times with their loved #ones and you just rotted and never managed to make friends and just wasted your life or something ehrrmmmmm #sorry LOL this happens every time I should have felt it coming 😭 but it's so weird being back inmy uni town and just feeling like God.... #What did I even do for 3 years here and cryingggg bc you're just soo bad at connecting with anybody and you have always been no matter how #many chances you get and blah blah there's not even any comfort in it just #empty platitudes of ppl saying wowee you'll find the right place some day like no man I'm a fucking creep I'm a weirdo FOREVER #like God im just a fucking loser to the correeee

[criticalcrux]

Smacks dat ass!

"I'm sorry dear, anon-san but if you insist on mishandling the merchandise I'm gonna have to charge you for any additional damages~"

#unprompted ask #always accepting #anon #juuuust couldn't help yourself could ya #;p #Any further than that and the ol' shopkeep's going to expect to be wined and dined first~! #Sorry but if you want to keep playing you'll have to follow back and lose the disguise #[[I mean anon's fine to some extent]] #You know he was the one who had to answer this! #[[come out and play~ It's been much too long.]] #unf

[syncogon]

fun fact: miqin mubei, face obscured, is the second named character to appear in the entire show. yes he appears all the way in episode 1

#young blood #大宋少年志 #synco talks #ding er posting on main again #HE'S SO EXTRA AND FOR WHAT #i'm so unwell over this i can't even put it into words #he was always there! just as the truth - hidden but always there #one of the last scenes filmed is the first scene shown #in his next onscreen appearance he's a completely different character. filmed earlier back when his story was different #the shot is so subtle! so blink-and-you'll-miss-it! who's going to remember this forty episodes later! it's a treat for the rewatchers #and it doesn't even matter except it DOES and i'm unwell. #pretty sure this is the only time cherries appear in this show. the bright scarlet against the muted colors. #plucking the stem and loosing the arrows #anyway i'm going to write my fic and we'll see how much of this energy i can balance against 'two parallel generals facing war horrors' vib #literally the only difference between this and ep 42 is the color grading. ep 1 is just ep 42 if the heroes failed #watch them side by side and - aughh #it all begins and ends at qichuan village. brb crying #ybq is wearing the same armor bc he has Issues #mqmb is wearing the same armor bc ... ? #the first scene of the whole damn show is qinqi and you tell me this is a rarepair come on <- me being delusional

[sharkneto]

Re: the memorable fanfic scene, I think the first fic of yours I read (maybe just the first one I commented on?) was Searching for Good Times (I'm also re-reading it now so maybe that's skewing my recollection lol). Anyway, the scenes that I always remember are a) when Five has to confront reality and disavow his life in the hotel - and Delores - to escape and b) the ending scene where he gets hugs. I love the scenes in all your fics where Five gets hugs. He needs them!

The scene that started that whole fic <3

Literally, I was chatting with @candiliam328 I think about this Wandavision-esque HOb, and Five having to confront Delores about not being real to get out. The single most painful thing Five would have to acknowledge/go through after losing his siblings - losing his Wife to not even death, but non-existence. So deliciously painful. And then I had to write the rest of the fic.

And Five always gets a hug or some comfort at the end (well... almost all of the time). We're here to torture Five, see him kick ass, and then get a goddamn hug. If the show won't do it, we'll do it ourselves.

#thank you! #and love that you're rereading! always happy to know people are coming back for a round two or more <3 #god i love delores and five truly obsessed with how fucked up their relationship is #one day i'm going to work more on that five and delores in the apocalypse fic - or at least post the first few chapter i've got done #i should just put the beginning bit up... #someone twist my arm to share lol #anyway! thank you! <3 #nice things #ask response #if you'll indulge me the game tonight is ''what scene comes to mind when you think shark fics''

[i-perfect-please]

I'd never give you away, cos I've already made that mistake. If my name never fell off your lips again, I know it'd be such a shame. When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes, you're the only thing that I think I got right.

#5 second of summer #5sos #lover of mine #great song #s s s s s #all for you #this song will always remind me of you #maybe one day i'll sing it to your face #but i doubt you'll come back for me

[factorialsotherfandoms]

There's always the third option for who murdered the Federation worker - there was talk at one point of black&red Cucurucho being from a universe where /everyone/ had a warped copy. It was on one of Philza's streams, but I don't remember whose idea it was.

So it's always possible that's true and parallel dimension Cellbit has slipped on through.

I don't consider it especially likely but its possible.

#qsmp rambling #The two other theories I've seen is he did it or he was framed #I'd say if he was framed it was probably Brazilian Cucurucho and this is his punishment for the minimes? #Try and make it so the islanders never trust him to lead a mission again while taking everyone he cares about #And trashing all the work he's done for himself #Tbh I wouldn't be looking at framing theory except how he ended his last stream being more burnt out than murder vibes #And I just don't get even slightly on with the trope of when you get mentally vibe you become a danger to people around you #Or the idea that once a criminal is always a criminal #And there's not actually hope for people and that there's some things even if you try you'll always end up back in #Hate that one too but the first is the one I find actively unwatchable and drop media over #Most of this is just media preferences no hate or anything intended #Eh he's not a streamer at a timezone I make often #It's just Cellbit is such an important figure on the island to the islanders that no matter who I watch it's going to come up #So we'll see #I may just duck whenever it comes up in whatever stream I'm watching for 10 minutes #Its workable #Ish

[dissociationawareness]

Ya know... over time... ummm... Idk how to put this cus it's gonna hurt someone's feelings.

I used to identify as endo. In my teens when I started to realize I was multiple and I started trying to communicate with them... when it still wasn't apparent to therapists and I was labeled bipolar with schizo-affective or outright schizophrenic. Back in those days, I genuinely believed I was psychotic. Things were weird. I had a lot of hallucinations, I had a lot of switching.

I was still a kid. I didn't want to believe I had childhood trauma even though I knew the kids had memories that I didn't, even though for a time I believed they weren't in there... I believed they died... I believed a lot of things, a lot of things that weren't true. I held on, tooth and nail, to the idea that we were multiple because we were just meant to be that way. The voices in my head during this really spectacular thing I went through told me so, after all.

Shit came out in my teens, and my mother eluded to the place where it happened. I still denied it. We're multiple because we always were.

In my adulthood, through a fair amount of research, I learned a lot about DID and multiplicity. I'd already been to inpatient three times, on countless meds, diagnosed with just about everything except DID. I had spoken to some therapists about it, only one ever made me feel like she believed me (my therapist in highschool).

In my mid 20s, sometime after being formally diagnosed with DID (and learning how... not great that actually is in terms of accessing mental health services), I spoke with my aunt about what my mother had told me in my teens, and she revealed the thing I didn't want to accept: I am a survivor of CSA at a very early age, my parents knew and did nothing because they didn't know what to do about it. I had a bit of a mental breakdown after that, and I think that's really when I accepted that we were what others would call "trauma-caused" or "traumagenic"... and furthermore that even my hallucinations, which I'd had since childhood, were largely a part of PTSD which had been triggered by an assault at 13, bringing a lot of my dissociative symptoms to the surface and starting the journey to communicating and vague attempts at healing that were mostly aimed at trauma that occurred in my teens.

I fell upon Paul F. Dell's work on Structural Dissociation and something clicked. I had identified that I was always multiple because I didn't ever remember not having them... I just didn't always understand what they were, so for much of my childhood (and teens), I explained them through what language I had --- as ghosts or something supernatural. I was haunted, afterall, by my own skeleton.

It made sense, and still does, that yes, I always was multiple, and that's why the endo label appealed to me and why I secretly held onto it beyond accepting my early trauma. The reality is that the trauma didn't make us, the trauma didn't allow us to develop normally. The further reality is that the early abuse was only a piece of that - that other instances of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands of both adults and my peers played a role. Being neurodivergent and trans played a role. Being queer but devoutly Christian played a role. The fire that burned my childhood home to charcoal played a role. My parents fighting and separating played a role.

And here's my point. Trauma is a wide and deep category. Maybe had things been different, if I'd had a home life where my parents were more supportive, had I been taught to cope, had I been able to talk about what I was going through and actually process it, maybe I wouldn't be multiple. Trauma is a lot of different things but it's the surface of what's really going on in a child who becomes a teen and eventually an adult with DID.

I never coped with any of the things I went through as a kid. I never processed them in any substantial way. I never healed. My brain was too full of PTSD for it to be able to do the things everyone else's brains did: unify the sense of self.

In this respect, we're all multiple as children. Being a parent, I see this everyday in my 4yo, who has two others: D & Monster. This is developmentally NORMAL for his age. It IS NOT at my age, 34yo. He is what is literally an endogenic multiple. I am not anymore. And I am not because I passed the threshold (7-10) without reaching that milestone because of PTSD, which universe willing, he will unify when he's old enough.

So here's what I'm getting to.

You can identify as Endo, and I'm cool with that. I can accept that you feel this way because I felt this way once too. I will happily accept you into spaces I inhabit that are intended for multiples. If you're multiple, you belong here.

I do have a problem with blogs promoting this like it's this... ugh... how do I say this without upsetting you? I think it encourages people to avoid processing and healing. I think it encourages people to avoid their feelings and ignore that shit in their childhood effected them. I think it encourages denial and a misunderstanding of what DID and OSDD are. I think it's harmful to everyone.

To have DID, to really be multiple past the threshold... you have childhood trauma - major and repeated stressors that you were unable to process and cope with. It's the only way this developmental milestone doesn't happen.

That doesn't mean you were physically or sexually abused. It really doesn't. Neglect is trauma. Bullying is trauma. Moving a lot is trauma. Being an outcast is trauma. Struggling with symptoms of neurodivergence or mental illness as a kid with no idea why it's happening or why people react to it how they do, or having sensory issues that no one accepts or helps you navigate (etc) is trauma. Being in a car accident is trauma. Death of a family member is trauma. Being constantly ignored is trauma. Not having enough food is trauma. Parents separating is trauma. Major illness is trauma.

There are so many fucking things that are trauma. It does not matter that you don't think it was ever "bad enough" to cause DID. Clearly it was. All it has to be is a thing child you felt couldn't be addressed, that child you couldn't cope with... so you buried it and it took up so much of your brain, that you were unable to unify (or at least completely).

You have trauma. Maybe it's not the shit movies were made of. Maybe it's not the kind of trauma that other people will readily express sadness or anger about, but it's still real and it still effected you.

No matter how you want to address your multiplicity, or how you desire to identify... you owe it to the kid you once were to tell them it's ok to feel however they did about whatever it was, and it's ok to talk about it and express those feelings.

I want you all to understand that this is a piece of healing you all need to look into - not because you need to magically unify as an adult (frankly, I think that's entirely misunderstood too), but because clearly SOMETHING effected you to make you who you are today, in all your multitudes, and you owe it to your future self to accept that you, like every person on this planet, has experienced trauma. You owe it to yourself to learn to accept that even if other people don't understand, your emotions exist for a reason and it's good and right to accept them and find outlets, which child you was unable to do.

And this goes ditto for anti-endos... or whatever the term for that is. And furthermore that those who identify as trauma-caused (etc) need to at least attempt to accept that plenty of folks who identify as endo... have DID/OSDD just like you. You can feel however you want about their identity, but the gatekeeping is toxic and it's harming the community, including survivors.

Hopefully the nuance isn't lost on... anyone.

If you need clarification on something, feel free to ask.

#dissociation #actuallydissociative #hey yeah I know we haven't posted here in a long time #but I am posting this here in hopes that you'll put some stock in this #I would like to note that when we made this blog was a different time in our lives and I still largely stand by #what we posted forever the fuck ago about structural dissociation #I would also like to say that as we've gotten older... a lot of the things we feel different about... though mostly juxtaposed #we've been thinking about coming back... and we mostly stopped because frankly moding a blog #that ends up getting a bunch of interaction is... it's a lot when we're constantly still trying to stitch our brain together #a lot has changed guise #DID #actuallyDID #OSDD-1 #being a parent is wild and seeing structural dissociation in action in a phase of life where it's developmentally normal is so interesting #hubby calls them 'imaginary friends' and I just kinda snicker #sometimes I worry but that's because I too am still unpacking the idea that we're always supposed to be one #but we're not... we're just not always supposed to be many because others are supposed to become facets of our personality #and I'll be very interested to see how unification happens when he gets to that age #in the meantime I just gotta put a lot of effort into supporting him and I guess hope that nothing major comes along that gums up the works #i guess??? being a parent is complicated 😅

[cowardlycowboys]

Kingston is so sweet and precious and I love him so much I want to cry

#omg kiera no one cares #today i was about to go on my break and he started to get teary and was like you'll come back right yesterday you went home:(( #like baby boy you can never get rid of me at least not until you are 5 years old and even then I'll force your mom to be friends with me #and I'll see you everyday because you're my best friend and i love you so much #and then he felt better but he always gets so upset when i have to leave like i love you so much you break my heart

[spiinsparks]

         ||. it’s 3am and all i can freakin think about is that any person who wants to romance this idiot is gonna have to deal with whatever the equivalent of an emotional one-night-stand is (we’re not here for the actual thing in this house) bc he’s a dumb teenager who’s too independent to consider yknow maybe a proper commitment to someone doesn’t actually mean ... getting shackled down

#(it'd be so messy at first) #(like on the one hand you'll never find someone as loyal) #(he'd fight for u) #(....oft times quite literally) #(but on the other hand .... the concept of tying himself to (1) person is so foreign to him) #(and there's such a different commitment level that comes into romance vs. like. idk being a kid-parent to a kitsune) #(or a pal. or a hero/adventurer like there's EMOTIONAL STAKES) #(i mean that's not even getting into if you like him and he falls for you back it's gonna take him forever to notice) #(MUCH LESS actually come to terms with the feeling and what it m e a n s) #(but then it's like his lifestyle is so come and go... you'd have to be so mentally/emotionally prepared for that) #(like yes he'll make it up to you in spades and he'll always run right back bc i mean look at him constantly crashing at tails' place) #(but geez i can imagine that would make things so complicated for uh... certain... people) #(i think of amy in particular she seems to thrive off of connection/quality time) #(they have the same vibe just 2 completely different ways of going about it im going feral) #(like still using them as an example if /she/ wants commitment but /he/ wants .... not 'freedom' in the sense of her but like) #(//gestures//) #(he wants to go do things ok he's not settlin down that's not in his vocab) #(but like where's the compromise yknow? i think they''d find it real easy cos they both care about each other but where's the line) #(and yeah that question of 'what's the compromise/where's the line') #(idk that's interesting for sonic's romantic relationships but tbh also some of his more strong platonic ones too) #(admittedly like all of his relationships are platonic but still) #(like i just think =w=) #(i'm rambling imma delete this in the morning i thing but hh) #⸨ * OOC ⸩ — he was never actually called a rodent in the games but yknow .