#the only issue is that it's a character I've had since I was *12*

[stevierogersbabygirl]

Teacher's Pet

Professor!Steve Rogers x problematic reader

Run-through: You were never a diligent student, but ever since professor Rogers noticed, his teaching methods changed your grades forever.

Warnings : mentions of divorce, daddy issues, drugs and alcohol

Themes : Slight angst, smut (cock warming, clothed + vaginal sex)

Your parents divorced when you were 12, giving your mom sole custody of you.

Your father was abusive, he'd emotionally abuse you and never be there for your emotional needs, and your mother tried her best to raise you alone.

But life was hard growing up without a father figure.

You were now 22, and things did not get any better.

You were friends with the wrong people, who were only interested in drugs, alcohol, and lots of sex.

You'd join in, skipping college just to do those activities, and your group was so notorious that the whole campus knew about it.

They were unable to do anything about it, as some of the guys from your gang had parents who had donated to the college for years.

It was almost the first day of the second semester in college, and you and your group planned to go as you guys always went on the first day.

You got bored during most of the lessons, until one class.

A professor resigned and was replaced by a guy named Dr. Steve Rogers.

Holy fuck, he was so hot. From his properly styled blonde hair to his beautiful blue eyes accompanied by long eyelashes, to his pretty lips, to his height, to his abs and biceps.

Suddenly you wanted to attend college again.

Once you were out of his class, you went to your gang and gossiped all about him.

They'd tease you that "Y/N will one hundred percent fuck him for grades", or "Go suck his dick after class". You laughed along with them.

Your crush on that man started to develop more and more, as you attended his classes, and only his classes.

Before and after he taught, you'd always be with your gang, somewhere else, doing something terrible.

But you just had to be in Steve's class for the eye candy.

Unfortunately, though, Steve was teaching one of the harder subjects, and your grades remained the same.

One day, Steve called you after class ended, into his office.

You excitedly went there, fighting back a smile while walking.

You went back into character before knocking on the door, and he went to open it, and you instantly noticed a slight frown on his face, while inviting you to sit down.

After you sat down in front of his desk, he went behind the desk to sit on his chair.

"Y/N, we have to talk about your grades." He said softly, with a concerned look on his face.

You were so mesmerized at first by his beautiful self, that you didn't say anything leaving an awkward silence between the both of you.

"Y/N?" He asked.

You knew this would end up like other meetings about grades. You knew you'd just fail again and didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of a man like him.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I will work on them soon, I have to go now, bye!" You said rather sheepishly, getting up and slowly walking towards the door.

"I didn't tell you to leave." He said in an authoritative voice, causing you to embarrassingly hurry back into your chair.

"Y/N. This is a serious matter, and I've heard of how other professors seem to fail to help your grades." He said in his deep, slightly intimidating voice.

The thought of Steve talking about you to other teachers instantly made your heart flutter, but you had to focus on his serious words.

"So Y/N, I've come up with a strategy. Meet me at my house this evening." He said, handing you a piece of paper with his address on it.

You looked at it in surprise.

After the meeting, you skipped the next class to be with your friends, and they'd have their chitchats but it felt like background noise.

All you could think about was the paper.

Throughout those hours, you wondered what Steve wanted to do about your studies, at his house.

Why would he even invite you to his house?

That's when you had sexually intrusive thoughts, imagining Steve doing the most sinful, sexual things to you, and it made your underwear dampen on those occasions.

In the evening, you walked through his neighborhood to find his house and you finally did, knocking on the door.

Steve opened and invited you into the living room.

You sat on the opposite side of him in the dining room.

After some small talk and as he served you some cookies, he said something rather interesting.

"I heard about your gang, all the sex and stuff, so can you tell me some things regarding it?" He said while mixing his coffee with a small teaspoon.

Your heart jumped hearing those words come out of his mouth, and you had to remove the brain fog to find an answer to it.

"Oh yeah, sure. Well, I've been hooking up with guys since I was 19, they'd pay me for it, and I'd get pregnant on multiple occasions but unfortunately aborted." You said.

You don't know why you said all of that, especially to your professor.

Steve looked at you with a face that had an emotion hard to detect and took a sip of his coffee, he placed it on the table.

"What was the biggest one you took?" He said casually, looking at you, a smirk forming on his face.

Shock filled your face, and your mouth gaped slightly open.

Did your professor ask that?

But you knew that, if you guys were about to have sex, you'd like it too.

This man knew he was extremely hot.

"Well, 5 inches." You said sheepishly, looking down at your plate full of cookie crumbs.

Steve chuckled, and you presumed it was because of the shyness.

He stopped chuckling and said quieter, "Well I'm 6.5, you okay with that?" He asked.

You looked at him, with your mouth gaped and your brain still processing what he just said.

You eventually nodded, and he patted his lap for you to sit on it.

You eventually sat on his lap, inches away from his face.

"B-but, what does this have to do with the studies?" You'd ask shyly, playing with your hair, making Steve smile.

"Well, since you like sex so much, how about you have your pretty tits out while you sit on my cock, doing all your missing assignments on that laptop you have." He said, smirking and staring into your shy eyes.

No way. No way he just said that.

But this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, lots of girls would do anything to fuck their hot professor.

You nodded slowly, looking hypnotized by his beautiful eyes.

In no time, your shirt would be pulled up, revealing your tits, while your underwear was off, and your skirt was covering your pussy as you sat on his large, fat cock, unzipped from his trousers.

You were shaking, a fog clouded in your mind, while you wrote one of your essays, while Steve had both hands on your waist, watching your every move from behind, occasionally playing with your tits

If you were almost finished, Steve would start thrusting up into you and rubbing your clit, and you knew it was worth it.

Once you've submitted, Steve would bring you to his bed to fuck you fast and, hard, and would plant kisses all over your body, showing you that your work was worth it.

You spent less time with your gang, so you'd always give your friends excuses like your mom gave you extra chores, but you were truly at Steve's house, getting your pussy filled while increasing your grades.

For the rest of the college year, you'd sit on his cock half naked, with him fully clothed only with his cock out.

Sometimes you'd request to have casual sex with him, but he'd always reject it, saying that you needed to do an assignment too, which you unfortunately accepted.

But aside from grades, before you'd start doing your assignments, he'd sometimes ask you to give him a blowjob, usually if he's had a stressful day, and you'd agree, which was so unfair.

You never got sex if you weren't doing your work, and he'd always get sex if he'd simply ask.

But he was the hottest fucking guy after all, how could you say no?

#captain america #captain america smut #captain america x reader #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #marvel smut #steve rogers #steve rogers au #steve rogers x reader #chris evans

[room-surprise]

Addendum to Dungeon Meshi Age Calculations, and Thistle's age estimate...

This is sort of a sequel to two posts of mine, How to Calculate Comparative Ages of DM Characters and How Old Is Thistle?

I've seen some people claim that the age scale between elves and tall-men where elves age 5 times slower than tall-men can't be used accurately for elves that are very young or very old. I've also seen people claim that the half-foot age modifier is wrong.

I'm not a mathematician, but so far I have not seen any actual evidence that the 5:1 scale doesn't work, and a good amount of proof that it does, and I think the confusion about half-foot aging is a translation issue.

Please keep in mind, information about Marcille's age does not apply to any of this, because [SPOILERS].

WHAT ABOUT VERY YOUNG ELVES?

Here's something we know about the babies from the different races, which comes from Ryoko Kui's blog:

1 year old elven, dwarven and gnomish babies can only lay on their backs. Tall-man and half-foot 1 year olds can both stand, though the tall-man is not as good at it as the half-foot.

This lines up with real-world development milestones, human children can usually stand on their own somewhere between 9 to 12 months. Half-foots age faster than tall-men, so it makes sense that the half-foot would look more balanced and steady while standing.

A 2 year old elven baby has just gained the ability to sit up, while the babies of other races are walking or running. Normal human babies can sit up with help at around 5 months.

2 divided by 5 equals 0.4, that's 40%, and 40% of one year equals 4.8666666 months. That's 5 months.

I think it's very likely Kui herself is using the 5:1 ratio in order to calculate her elven ages in order to get this very specific 5 month developmental milestone to line up this way. So we can confirm that any elf over the age of 2 years old should have an age that is calculable with the 5:1 ratio. I also think it's not crazy to assume Kui may be using the numbers I calculated in my age post to work out other character's ages as well, since she's clearly doing it for the elves.

LET'S TEST IT WITH HALF-FOOTS

Human children learn to run between 18 and 24 months, so around 2 years old, like the chart shows us. 2 years divided by the half-foot age ratio (1.1428571429) equals 175% because they grow faster than tall-men.

175% of 2 years is 1277.5 days... Which is 3.5 years. So a 2 year old half-foot has the maturity of a 3.5 years old human child. 3 years old is when human children are expected to run and jump easily, and climb stairs without help.

That sounds about right to me, since the half-foot child in the drawing looks like they can confidently run around without balance issues. One foot is off the ground, and their arms are pulled in closer to the body than the tall-man child's arms.

Meanwhile the tall-man child is more unsteady, both feet firmly planted, standing with their arms held out as far as they can go to help with balance.

DOESN'T 29=50 FOR HALF-FOOTS?

Kui says that Chilchuck would be about 50 if he were a modern day human (which he isn't, he's a medieval half-foot), and then she says that half-foots in the time of Dungeon Meshi only live to be about 50 years old on average.

I'm pretty sure she's telling us that if Chilchuck were a human in our world, he'd be past middle-aged, and then for contrast, she tells us that most half-foots in Chilchuck's world die by age 50. Not that Chilchuck's 29 years is equivalent to a 50 year old modern human.

Chilchuck is 29 years old, and he had his first child at age 13. The average age of death for half-foots is 50, then that means middle-aged for a half-foot is 25.

Chilchuck is 4 years older than that, which makes Chilchuck past middle-aged. It does not make him developmentally the same as a 50 year old modern human though.

Using the numbers I've worked out, a half-foot would be developmentally 50 years old when they're 44.

Kui says that although Chilchuck wants to retire from going into the dungeons, if he did, it would be premature... Just like it would be premature for a 33 year old to retire.

In the real world retirement ages are connected to the average age of death. As that number goes up, so does retirement age. Because modern humans live until around 72, as a global average, retirement age is somewhere in their 60s.

So since half-foots average lifespan is 50, a normal age for Chilchuck to retire would be in his 40s.

WHAT ABOUT OLD ELVES?

The average age of death for tall-men is 60, however we know that tall-men can live into their 80s because Marcille's father did.

The average age of death for elves is 400, but they can live up to 500 years.

There's no reason to think that DM tall-men aren't like real world humans, and can't live into their 100's if they are lucky and wealthy enough. Even in the real medieval period, some people lived into their early 100's.

The thing that makes average death ages low in real life is usually issues like high infant mortality, starvation, war, lack of medical care, and lack of sanitation.

In the real medieval period, the average age of death was 30 not because people dropped dead at 30, but because SO MANY children died young that it pulled down the average. In medieval times, if you managed to live to 25, you had an average of 23 more years of life ahead of you, which is 48 years old.

I think Kui raised the average death age to 60 for tall-men to account for the fact that even tall-men have access to more advanced medicine and healing magic in DM, so infant mortality isn't as high and the adults live more than a decade longer.

The elves naturally have a longer lifespan since they live 5 times slower than tall-men. However they also probably have a far more advanced society than any of the other races in Dungeon Meshi. Fleki calls the Eastern Continent a "primitive land", and it's mostly populated by dwarves, gnomes and tall-men.

If elven culture was developmentally the same as tall-man culture, I bet elves would only live to about 300, which would be 60 for them, maturity wise.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

80x5 is 400. That seems correct to me, a 400 year old elf would be considered elderly and getting close to the end of their life. An 80 year old tall-man would be considered VERY old, having lived past average expectations... But those expectations, as I said before, are based on poor living conditions, not biological certainty. 100x5 is 500, so the two maximum ages (100 and 500) also line up when you use the 5:1 ratio.

POSSIBLE MAXIMUM AGES FOR OTHER RACES

Using the same math, if gnomes and dwarves had the same culture as tall-men, they'd only live to be 150-ish instead of 240/200...

This is only a theory, but dwarvish and gnomish maximum possible ages should probably be around 250, if you multiply their age modifier (2.5) x100 like I did with the elves.

The current difference between their average age of death is probably attributable to lifestyle and cultural differences (gnomes use a lot more magic, and so they live longer).

Then, just to do the rest of the races:

Half-foots and orcs theoretical maximum age is 88. Ogres theoretical maximum age is 94. Kobold theoretical maximum age is 81.

Keep in mind, these numbers are based on the idea that "around 100 years old" is the oldest a human being can get. The oldest human to ever live survived until they were 122 years old... But obviously that is rare, and happened in the modern era.

Point is, there's wiggle room at the top end of the age limit, for some of the races that may be a matter of extra days or months, for others it could be an extra decade or two. But I'm using 100 for simplicity's sake.

Sorry for the long post! I hope this answers people's questions, and if I messed something up let me know!

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi #theories #dungeon meshi and aging part 2 #chilchuck #chilchuck tims

[f1letters]

anti-hero | cl16

"I wake up screaming from dreaming, one day, I'll watch as you leaving"

summary: no matter how many times charles told her she was more than enough, this misogynistic world kept giving her reasons to run away

warning: a little bit of angst but fluffy end, driver!reader, Williams!reader, kind of secret/private relationship, mentions of parental abandonment, daddy issues (cause same lol), misogynistic and degrading comments towards the reader, slut shamming, swearing, self-sabotage, low self-esteem, anxiety, just an overload of ups and downs, platonic!reader x alex albon

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

word count: 3.6k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

french words used: mon ange = my angel; mon amour = my love

is it possible to fall in love with your own fictional character? cause I think I just did! hope you enjoy this (not really surprising haha) anti-hero story!

masterlist

I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser

Midnights become my afternoons

When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people

I've ghosted stand there in the room

Life seemed to be falling apart for Y/N.

In the middle of the dark room, the only noises that filled the deafening silence were the ticking sound coming from the big clock on the wall, and the troubled thoughts that seemed to reappear in her head night after night.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock. 

Tick. Tock.

Time passed and passed, but Y/N remained there, frozen, haunted by her own demons.

To be completely frank, life had never really felt right for the young woman.

The battle in her head was something usual, ever since she was just a little girl. It didn't matter how old she got, she never got wiser.

It felt completely unreasonable how she could feel herself drowning in sadness when just hours before she had had one of the happiest days of her life.

Charles's strong arms wrapped around her shoulders, the skin of her back against his warm chest, their eyes fixed on the dazzling sunset before them on the clear waters of Monaco, as they lay on the bed of his yacht.

The warm tones that painted the skies and waters were intoxicating, as was Charles's presence.

As much as she tried to keep her attention on that magical gift of nature, Y/N could only thank fate for having that wonderful man by her side.

I don't know what I did to deserve you, she thought to herself.

"Mon amour?" The Monegasque's voice woke her from her trance. "Do you think we... Forget it, it's silly."

The girl turned towards her boyfriend, their eyes now connected, just inches apart. "What is it, Charles? You know you can tell me anything." She said, though her anxiety was already starting to creep up in her stomach.

He took a deep breath, gathering all the courage in him, and with her eyes shining brighter than ever, she asked. "Do you think we'll ever get married?"

Her heart skipped a few beats at the driver's words, looking as nervous as ever, but for a second... Y/N allowed herself to dream.

"If it's not you, I'll never be with anyone else, Charles Leclerc. You're it for me."

Hours have passed since one of the most breathtaking moments of her life, and there she was: scared to death about the future.

Charles was fast asleep in their room, his light snores echoing down the hall through the open door.

Y/N looked at the time - 12:05 AM.

It was midnight, and the girl just sat on the leather couch in their living room, with only silence for company.

As the girl got up to go back to her bed where her boyfriend was waiting for her, she couldn't understand how she got everything she ever dream of, but she just couldn't feel as happy as she should have.

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis

(Tale as old as time)

For as long as she can remember, she's been that way.

She could remember the exact moment when her world changed, when her walls closed in around her, when everything she knew crashed into pieces to the ground.

For little Y/N, just an innocent child at the time, her father's sudden absence from their home seemed inexplicable. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and there was no sign of him.

With no message, no farewell, no explanation.

Just like air, he was just… gone.

The colourful house where she laughed and played with both of her parents quickly became a set of broken walls, colourless and lifeless.

Her mother had never been the same ever since, and even today the young woman cannot forget the image of the woman she loved most in her entire life, sitting on the old sofa in her childhood home, exhausted, empty, without the energy to cry anymore.

Much like she mirrored it now.

Months turned into years since her father left her but, like a ghost standing there in the room, the lingering consequences of his actions still haunted her until that day.

No matter how much therapy she got, Y/N always felt like that lonely girl who could never make friends, who sabotaged every single relationship she had.

It seemed the only permanent companion she was going to have in her life was her crushing, persistent depression.

That was until she met Charles, right at the moment she most needed a shoulder to lean on.

It was 2020 - the year her biggest dream finally came true.

Y/N was finally going to become a Formula 1 driver.

Wherever she looked as she entered the circuit for the first time, the young woman could sense the eyes fixed on her and the curiosity that revolved around her.

Y/N L/N, the first woman in the 21st century to be part of the very competitive F1 grid, the promising new rookie racing for Williams Racing.

It was a whole mix of emotions: the happiness, pride and satisfaction that the new young driver felt for fulfilling her dream couldn't help but be overshadowed by all the controversy, hatred and hostility that her entry into the sport brought with it.

'This is not a girl's sport'

'She must have slept with someone important'

'She's just a pretty face'

Y/N heard it all while trying to turn a deaf ear to all these hateful people.

The girl sat in the chair in the middle of the conference room, prepared to face the world on her first day in media, but reality quickly managed to bite back at her when one of the interviewers walked over to her, eyes wide with scorn plastered in his face.

"Question for Y/N: How does it feel to know that such a talented driver was left with no seat in the team for you to join, just because you're a woman?"

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day, I'll watch as you're leaving

'Cause you got tired of my scheming

(For the last time)

To say the woman was taken aback was an understatement.

Her voice seemed to have disappeared and her brain to have stopped being able to form sentences as she tried to understand the complete, unfair misogyny she was suffering just for being a person trying to achieve her goals, regardless of gender.

Out of nowhere, a warm voice echoed through the room, drawing all attention to him.

"How about you stop being a complete idiot and try to do your job like a professional instead?" The brunette in red spoke, full of confidence and determination. "Y/N is here because she deserves it and because she has immense talent. No one here is going to take credit away from her just because they're a sexist pig."

Her eyes threatened tears as his met her grateful gaze.

Little did she know that the hero who stood up for her would end up being the love of her life.

Back to that day, Y/N suddenly woke up from her dream screaming, still tormented by the discrimination she had to face and still had to face until that very day.

"Hey, hey..." Charles woke up, cupping her face gently in his hands, making her look towards him as he wiped the tears that were streaming from her eyes. "Are you all right? Breathe, mon ange. It was just a dream."

"Yes, it's okay." Y/N swallowed hard, lying through her teeth. "It was just a nightmare, Charles. Don't worry."

He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight to comfort her, but in reality, in the back of her mind, she could only think of the worst.

He deserves so much better than the mess I am. He'll get tired and just leave me one day. Like everybody else does.

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

At teatime, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Until sunrise, the girl stayed awake, her mind doing what she knew how to do best: racing.

Not even the strong arms that enveloped her body, or the heat that her partner's body emitted were capable of transmitting some calm, or some security.

She was the problem.

Tired of lying in bed without any rest, Y/N gave up on being there and, exhausted, she got up, heading back to the cold living room in the centre of the apartment.

She tried everything to get her mind away from the negativity poisoning her system: reading a book, watching a movie, cooking breakfast. But all in vain.

Hours passed before she heard Charles's footsteps interrupting the silence, and soon she could see her boyfriend, shirtless, showing off his excellent physical shape, and stretching as he walked towards her.

"Good morning, mon amour." Charles said, hugging his girlfriend's body from behind and placing a soft kiss on the top of her shoulder. "Did you make breakfast? Damn, I'm lucky." He chuckled, still noticeably sleepy.

You're lucky? You deserve so much more than this, than me, her self-sabotaging thoughts returned.

"So what are we going to do today?" The man asked as he bit into the toast in his hand. "I was thinking we could have lunch at that restaurant by the marina that you love so much."

"I can't, Charles. I have to go to the team headquarters later." Falling back into her harmful tendencies, and without having the courage to look back at him, Y/N tried to keep her distance from him, using the scheduled meeting (which she didn't need to attend) as an excuse.

"Ah okay…" The Monegasque felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise, as he sensed that something wasn't right with her. "If you want to do something when you get-"

"We'll see." She interrupted, answering dryly. Y/N grabbed her things and headed towards the entrance, her eyes still unable to take in his image. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, mon ange." He agreed, trying not to pressure his girlfriend. "I love y-"

He hadn't even finished talking and she was already out the door.

Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

And I'm a monster on the hill

Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

Within a few hours, Y/N arrived in Wantage, where her second home was: the elegant, welcoming HQ of Williams Racing.

Although still fragile, Y/N felt slightly more energetic and optimistic just being there, the memory of her professional success enough to give her a small boost of self-esteem.

The girl would never be able to put into words how grateful she would feel for the rest of her life for the chance the team gave her.

Entering through the large glass door, Y/N soon found Jost, her team principal, who supported her unconditionally during her two years on the team. The two quickly fell into casual conversation, rambling about the car's performance and the strategies used in previous races.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, until the voice of one of the engineers chanted through the walls of the long corridor, clearly unaware that he was being heard.

"I just don't understand what that she is fucking doing here, man. Y/N is just a little girl, we need a strong man behind that wheel."

The man quickly came face to face with the duo, fear spreading across his face: not for hurting Y/N's feelings - that he couldn't care less; but because he got caught red-handed by his superior - a man, that held the power over his job.

Jost tried to put a hand on the young woman's shoulder, but her body was already out of sight as the driver made her escape, the sound of Capito's scolding the rude man barely audible to her as she ran away from the scene.

She was the problem.

She simply would never be good enough.

Did you hear my covert narcissism

I disguise as altruism

Like some kind of congressman?

(Tale as old as time)

Unbeknownst to the girl, her teammate, Alex, couldn't help noticing her tearful figure escaping towards the garden that decorated the back of the headquarters.

Without thinking twice, the Thai hurriedly followed her, gently grabbing her wrist to stop her.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" The boy asked him, a worried look on his face.

Despite the girl being able to count on one hand the true friendships she managed to build in her entire life, Alex Albon was one of the few people she really connected with.

The genuine, loving boy felt almost like the brother she never had, protecting her with everything he had since the day she joined Williams. 

Two years had passed since then and his presence in her life was now unparalleled and irreplaceable.

"Just tale as old as time." She spoke without thinking, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Forget it. It's no big deal."

Her friend put his arm around the girl's shoulders, pulling her into a comforting hug. "You know I can read you like the back of my hand, Y/N."

"It's just…" The girl sobbed, letting her cheek rest against the tall man's chest. "I'm fed up. Sometimes I just want to give up on it all, on Formula 1, on motorsports. I'm tired of feeling less than everyone else just because I'm not a man."

"Hey, look at me." Alex said, placing both of his hands on the girl's forearms. "You're here because you deserve it. You've won championships in the junior categories. You've scored a hell out of points for a driver in a car like Williams. You and I are literally the most successful duo in the team in the last decade."

The girl couldn't help but laugh softly, sniffling her nose. "When you put it that way..."

"Believe me, Y/N." Albon spoke, hugging the girl he saw as his 'little sister' again. "I'm so proud of you, Charles is so proud of you, all the drivers on the grid are. Fuck what others think."

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day, I'll watch as you're leaving

And life will lose all its meaning

(For the last time)

To say that Alex made her feel so much better was an understatement.

Suddenly, Y/N had a pep in her step, a grin from ear to ear, a renewed energy within her and an eagerness to return home to the one she loved.

The girl couldn't help but feel guilty for the way she treated Charles that morning, so she decided to surprise him with her early return and also a small gift.

Y/N was a gift giver, especially for Charles, who always looked like a little boy on Christmas Eve every time she did so.

Charles had spent weeks and weeks drooling over a sweater from his favourite brand, helping his girlfriend choose the gift. With her headphones in her ears, the girl glided through the aisle of the store in Monte Carlo, straight to the selected piece of clothing.

As she searched for the correct size, the side of her face heated up as she felt someone's attention suddenly on her. The whispers distracted her from what she was doing and she discreetly turned down the music on her phone to listen to what the two laughing girls were saying.

"I don't know, I've heard rumours about them but I don't think so."

"I hope not, I mean, he's Charles Leclerc! He can have any girl he wants."

"You're so right. He's probably just fucking some bikini model on the low."

The sweater remained on the hanger, as Y/N left the store empty-handed.

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

At teatime, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

It looked like she simply couldn't catch a break that day: the world was determined to bring her down.

Opening the apartment door, Y/N entered, being immediately seen by her boyfriend who had a smile the size of the world.

"Mon amour, you're back!" He got up from his chair, nearly tripping over his own feet with the excitement that filled him. "You don't understand how happy I am to see y- What's wrong, Y/N?"

The boy was caught off guard by the discouraged, beaten-down look on his partner's face, as he expected her to come home happy to have visited the team she loved so much.

"Charles, we need to talk." She spoke, her eyes still not looking at him, similar to the morning.

"I don't like that tone. Are you going to break up with me or something?" He joked nervously, trying to break the tense atmosphere between them.

However, when he looked at her, Charles understood that this was exactly what she was thinking about.

Suddenly, the weight of the velvet box he'd been keeping in his pocket seemed to have tripled.

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money

She thinks I left them in the will

The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out

"She's laughing up at us from Hell"

After a few agonizing seconds of silence, the young woman gathered her courage and looked at the other driver, who had a terrified look on his face.

Charles felt a multitude of emotions at once; he was scared, confused, angry, desperate.

How could she try to do that to him when he was preparing to take the next step in their relationship?

"Charles, don't look at me like that." Y/N turned her tearful gaze to the ground, not having the strength to watch the boy's heart break as hers did. "It's for the best. You deserve so much. You are the best person in this whole fucking world, and I... I'm just me: talentless, worthless me. You can do so much better than-"

"Don't even dare finish that sentence." Charles threatened, lovingly grabbing the girl's face by her jaw and forcing her to look him in the eyes. "I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much. I love you more than anything and anyone in this world."

The girl couldn't hold back the sob that threatened to come out of her lips, as she shook her head in opposition to the words the Monegasque was saying.

"Just stop!" The man said, his voice rising. He leaned his forehead against hers, wiping her cheeks with one of his hands. "It's you. You're it for me, remember? You told me so, and I feel the same way about you."

"There is no one else for me. No one better than you, no one who makes me feel like you do, or who I want to spend the rest of my days with." Charles continued speaking, trying to make the girl realize how much she meant to him, desperate to change her mind.

He felt her body relax slightly against his and he knew right there: it was now or never, this was the moment for his grand romantic gesture.

Guided by his impulsiveness, Charles reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out the navy blue box, setting it on the counter in front of her.

Y/N felt her breathing stop. Was that what she thought it was?

The Ferrari driver opened the small box, showing her the most perfect diamond ring inside.

"You are the love of my life, and I never doubted that for a single second. So please, make me the happiest man in the world and marry me."

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi

Everybody agrees, everybody agrees

God, she wanted to say yes.

But she couldn't. Not when he came into her life as a hero rescuing her from the world, and she... 

She was just an anti-hero in his story.

Selfishly, Y/N wanted nothing more than to accept his proposal and fall into his arms.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Charles?" The girl looked at him fearfully.

"Mon amour, just say yes and end my agony once and for all." Even in a moment like that, the man still managed to find humour in the situation, letting out a small laugh and placing a tender kiss on her lips.

Both deposited all the love they felt for each other in that kiss, getting stuck in the moment as if they were the only people in the world.

"Yes." Y/N gave in, opening her eyes surprised when she realized that word had slipped out of her mouth without her even realizing it. 

Charles smiled at her, picked her up from the floor and kissed her. And he kissed her again, and again, his lips just couldn't stay away from hers. "Yes, Charles. Yes. Yes!" She repeated, gradually becoming more and more confident.

With tears in both of their eyes and a shiny new ring around her finger, she looked at the man in front of her: a man who loved her unconditionally with all her flaws, all her struggles, and all her past.

Right then and there, Y/N knew that Charles was her true home, and she could only belong in his arms.

Maybe things weren't falling apart.

Maybe things were starting to fall into the exact places where they needed to.

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

At teatime, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

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thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 imagine #f1 one shot #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #cl16 #f1letters #f1 x taylor swift #f1 x reader #f1 x midnights #Spotify #charles leclerc one shot #formula 1 one shot #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc angst #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc fic #f1 fic

[shantechni]

Leo the Leader vs Leo the Learner

I know almost every iteration of TMNT emphasizes that the boys cannot properly function as a team without everyone there, especially without their fearless leader.

In terms of cartoons and movies though (as much as I've had time to watch/rewatch), the '03 and '12 series are my personal favorites, with Rise and MM tying for a very close second, because they both acknowledge issues in the team that the characters work to fix. '03 Leo and '12 Leo both struggle to lead the team at significant points in their respective stories, but the manner in which they struggle and what they struggle with differentiate, in a good way mind you.

In the 2003 series, the very first episode opens with Leo already being in the leading position as he tries to keep his brothers from going off script or doing something irreparable while they work to find Splinter. And when they do eventually find themselves in trouble, he's the one to lead them through it and make it back to Splinter in one piece. We see this formula more or less repeat for almost three seasons with a few different variables to spice things up; the brothers look to Leo for guidance, think of a plan of action with their combined efforts, and go from there.

Until the S3 finale.

The boys had times where they wondered if they'd make it out alive, but this was the first where it genuinely seemed like the end for their little family, and Leo could do nothing but watch as they execute their plan to blow up with the starship.

Of course they survive, otherwise we wouldn't have another four seasons💀but that short amount of time was more than enough to scar Leo, physically and emotionally. When he begins closing himself off from everyone, April's the only one to get him to open up and he lays it all out: He feels like a failure of a leader. He wasn't strong enough to protect his family or stop the Shredder, their last resort was going out with a bang, and they had to be saved by the Utroms. It doesn't feel like they won and he doesn't feel like he accomplished anything.

His fears and frustrations manifest into an ever present anger, slowly going from cold to hot, that chooses its target at random. His brothers don't know what to do since they don't seem to know why Leo's behaving this way, nor have they ever seen him like this. And dear Mikey says something that so accurately sums up their team: "...it can’t be fun always being the responsible one, and we’re the ones who really benefit. Raph’s free to not think ‘cause Leo does all the thinking for him. Don’s free to dream, and I’m free to take it easy, all ‘cause Leonardo is busy being responsible enough for all of us."

Mikey knows Leo is cracking under the pressure of his role partly because they've become so comfortable in their own roles, and no one refutes him. They didn't intend for Leo to translate this dynamic into, "everything is on you," but that's how it inevitably turned out over time. One could even argue that them not knowing how to handle this new Leonardo is yet another downside to them getting too comfortable, and it doesn't help that Splinter is the only one (aside from Usagi on one instance) who attempts to help Leo, even when the young turtle is pushing him away.

Things finally boil over when Leo pushes a little too hard though and harms Splinter during training, a regrettable action that clears away the steely air he had around himself for so long.

It's not until Splinter sends him off to see the Ancient One that Leo finally pulls himself out of that bubble of negativity and he accepts that there was nothing more he could've done in their final fight against the Shredder.

He did all that he could, and he can continue doing all that he can for his family.

In a weird way, Karai's violent eviction notice was exactly what everyone needed.

Leo was told his family likely hadn't survived the attack, something he'd spent countless days trying to prevent through relentless training, but he believed they were okay and ultimately found them alive. He wasn't there to protect them, but he sees for himself that they made it out without his help, and this was also a learning experience for the others if you think about it. They've already been shown to be capable of handling situations on their own or in pairs, but this was the first time they had to deal with a huge confrontation as a team without the comfort of their leader behind their shells.

Raph is the one who takes the helm for a brief few seconds and dishes out instructions amid the chaos, telling everyone to split up, find their way out and meet back up on the surface, with one last demand for them to be careful. And when Leo finds him, his distress is palpable; he couldn't find the others and therefore had no idea if they were okay, let alone alive, while he kept himself hidden from Karai's forces. Before this, we see that Raph is willing to make his own plan of action in this series' version of City at War when he doesn't go with Leo's word. But this time, in Leo's absence, we see he's willing to fill in as leader when the situation calls for it, and he realizes he isn't quite cut out for leadership like Leo.

We don't see any significant shift in team dynamics after this, mainly because Leo's inner turmoil from their fight with the Shredder is what caused problems with the team in the first place, but that goes to show that outside influences are what gave birth to the team conflict. Despite me pointing out earlier how Leo shoulders quite a bit not just because of his role but because of his brothers' roles as well, we can see throughout the series that Leo doesn't buckle from the pressure until they're in a situation where he can't effectively perform his role to his satisfaction.

As I mentioned in the beginning, Leo had been a leader in essence and in name for many years before their first home was raided by the Mousers. It makes perfect sense for him and his brothers to be accustomed to it by now.

2012 Leonardo is not used to being a leader. He may undeniably be a leader in essence, and had the drive and desire to be one, but he definitely wasn't a leader in name. The very first episode doesn't even open up with Leo being a leader, let alone with the turtles being a team. Their first time fighting together is a train wreck, and rather than Leo's strong sense of ethics and honor being the catalyst for his recruitment (not at first at least), it's the beginning of their long battle against the Kraang that convinces Splinter to officially deem him the leader of a newly formed team.

Being leader doesn't automatically mean the team will follow or respect you, which is something Leo learns right away thanks to his brothers, with Raph in particular challenging him when they butt heads over their opposing plans and ideals. It's touched upon in Rise of the Turtles Part 2, but Raph's desire to lead isn't a major plot device until New Girl in Town where he gets a taste of how Leo feels everytime he's responsible for his brothers and their wellbeing. However, Raph makes it known that even though he's resigned himself to not being the leader, he still doesn't like being told what or how to do something. Even Donnie challenges Leo when they can't agree on the best course of action in preparation for the Kraang, but Donnie realizes arguing was pointless as the invasion begins without warning and makes the idea of a second base the more favorable option.

His brothers aren't his only test of will though, as there are a handful of times where Leo questions his ability to lead and wonders if Splinter chose the right turtle for the job. Throughout all of that though, the boys ultimately rely on Leo and follow his lead when all is said and done.

Where this Leo truly differs from '03 Leo is that he not only struggles with leading a team that isn't so keen on being led, but he also struggles to grasp that he leads a team.

There are many times in the series where Leo runs off on his own or makes the decision to tackle something himself rather than with help, and that's not out of the norm, especially in comparison to his own brothers and '03 Leo. The problem is that '12 Leo's solo decision making more often than not leads to trouble (we all know the tale of him trying to turn Karai to the good side without informing the team about her). One of the first major examples of this though was in the S1 finale when he takes Splinter's words a little too close to heart and gives his brothers the scare of their life. Granted, him holding back Kraang Prime kept it on the sinking Technodrome, but you get what I'm saying.

His family actively calls him out on this behavior on two separate occasions during S4.

After they'd spent six months with the Fugatoid fighting the Triceratons and racing to collect every piece of the black hole generator before them, Fugatoid reveals that he was the one who made the world ending device, a reveal that lights a flame of betrayal in everyone, especially Raph and Leo. Believing that they're being used by Fugatoid, Leo rides off in a stealth ship on his own and nearly gets himself killed, a move that has his brothers scolding him, with Raph being the most vocal about Leo's idiotic decision: "Leaders are called leaders because they're supposed to lead a TEAM!"

The moment isn't lingered upon for long, but they all make it clear that they're tired of Leo's one man missions. They're a team, so they should plan and function like one.

Then, in Broken Foot, Leo starts doing missions with Karai and Shinigami in secret to aid them in taking revenge against the Shredder, but, in an attempt to find out what Leo was hiding from them, the other turtles get caught up in their plans and Donnie gets hurt. Leo immediately abandons Karai (who later apologizes for what happened) and Shinigami to check on them and come clean.

He explains to Splinter later on that he didn't fill anyone in on the situation at first because he knew no one would've agreed to help Karai get revenge, and he acknowledges that it was stupid of him to think he could control the situation. Splinter expresses his disappointment, and April reprimands him for once again not trusting his own team enough for them to help him.

Leo apologizes to Raph and Mikey afterwards, even going so far to say he probably doesn't deserve to lead the team after this, something Raph just harumphs at while Mikey remains silent. He pleads for their help in stopping and eventually aiding Karai and Shinigami, and they go along with him to fix things as a team.

We no longer get any one man missions from Leo in S5 (there surprisingly weren't any in S3 lol), likely for a whole list of reasons ranging from leading in Splinter's absence to learning from his mistakes over time. But he makes sure that whatever they have to do gets done together, and he does his best to keep his brothers in line.

I suppose one could say that '03 Leo remembered what it meant to be a leader, while '12 Leo discovered what it meant to lead.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #2003 leo #2012 leo #analysis

[fractualized]

Alright. Let's break down this "oh" of an ending. NEGATIVE NANCY, COMING THROUGH

Spoilers, ho!

Ending a story is hard, if they're long or short. Whether you wrap up key threads or leave them open, you want some kind of takeaway that puts a period on things. Even in comics, where we know these characters will go on and on, ideally a story will end in a way that just... fits. Even amateur fic writers have loads of WIPs just sitting there because exactly how to end this damn thing eludes them.

I don't know if Rosenberg had an ending in mind when he started The Man Who Stopped Laughing. I don't know if he decided he'd figure it out by the end of it's year-long run. I don't know if DC Editorial lets people do that; it sounds insane, but if you've been paying attention to their current level of editorial "oversight," which I imagine is supposed to make concurrent titles mesh together reasonably well, I wouldn't be shocked if they let people wing it. Or, more likely, perhaps DC Editorial swooped in and made Rosenberg change the ending he had planned and that's why the result falls flat.

In any case, after 11 issues of enjoying myself, I'm left feeling deflated.

But let's start where #12 does, with the Joker who's been told he's John Keyser, a toxin'd henchmen that the real Joker made into a doppelganger for funsies. He approaches a hotdog vendor.

I'm stuck on "Hello. I've been looking for you"?? I didn't catch that on my first read. Joker has a favorite hotdog vendor? lol

Shut up, Waffles!! All we have is your word for it!!

In any case, hey, Keyser Joker has already been Jokering this long, so yeah, why not keep going? And why not with help from poor woobie Jason, fresh from nearly getting himself killed in Gotham War?

Bruce did not fix Jason at the end of Gotham War, so his adrenaline is still triggering fear in his brain. But Keyser Joker has a solution for that!

It's a tiny dose of Joker toxin to take the edge off of Bruce's programming. Joker makes a point of saying that the effects are only temporary, though. (And like, I assume this is just the quick-fix solution Rosenberg came up with to pull off his own ending when told Bruce's plans for Jason over in the other titles.) Jason is skeptical of this "help," naturally, but Keyser Joker brings up their matching interest: getting rid of the other Joker.

Jason, why you gotta ruin Albert's good time? 🙄

Cut to Red Hood dragging a clown henchman through the streets of Gotham.

But "his" face being blacked out and some of the dialogue clue the reader in: things aren't what they seem.

DERAIL TIME: what is up with this batmobile?

Like from some other angles, it looks sportier, but in most of the panels it looks like an old Buick? lol ANYWAY.

With the flaily way this person jumps off the bike and runs, I was sure that this was Keyser Joker and we might see Batman interact with him. Alas.

It's Ravager, who survived last issue's explosion. She's helping Jason 1) distract Batman and 2) get Albert out of harm's way, far from Keyser Joker's plan.

Naturally Keyser Joker is planning something more destructive than he's led Jason to believe. Also like…

The idea that Keyser Joker really is this John guy, not the real deal, is still not sitting fucking right with me. Seeing him here in another costume, with a goofy death train with mismatched eyes just like his, it feels like a signal that he actually is Joker and Waffles is either lying or mistaken somehow. Like compared to the other Joker, who we haven't seen in a costume? Who left Gotham for weird reasons? I really thought there was going to be a reverse reveal.

And since it doesn't come, I guess it's a good time to mention that! There is no reverse reveal of who the real Joker is. Things get a little muddy later, but…. hrm. HRM.

That said, the other Joker does something pretty dang Jokery: he shows up in a dirigible with his face on it.

Killer Moth and a bunch of clown goons (that aren't supposed to be available because of Gotham War but WHATEVER) attach the dirigible to the train and it's pretty chaotic!

I love when villains are like, "Look I may kill people, but an endangered gorilla?! Get outta here!" 😂

Jason also arrives in style.

I guess he was observing Ravager's distraction?? Which feels like it defeats part of the purpose of having her do the distraction. But then he couldn't have this cool entrance in which he bludgeons people with a motorcycle. Trade offs!

Meanwhile, Real Joker makes it to the front of the train to confront Keyser Joker. One of Real's goons offers to shoot Keyser, but Real Joker wants to make this personal and kills the poor hench so he can do it himself.

Jason coming in like YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH 😎

Then he gets the bad news.

Keyser is as casually suicidal as your average Joker! Also "Real" Joker never acknowledges Red Hood's identity, afaik. It's always Keyser Joker. Details like this got me thinking that reverse reveal was coming, AND YET.

That aside, next comes a fun comedy beat.

Real Joker going right for the hair!

Jason isn't going to let this be the end of it, of course, and once again Killer Moth must suffer at his hands.

Jason shoots so many clowns. Just never the one he wants. 😞

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaait wait wait. You're telling me that Bruce knew about the imminent TWO JOKERS situation. But he decided to prioritize a report of Red Hood dragging a clown through the streets. When in the same breath he's saying there are other people coming to the scene with him, so he obviously could've sent someone else? On the same day Batman #139 is like "oooh Bruce is totally onto Joker now"? This is what you're telling me?? Augh.

Well, we can't rely on Batman right now, clearly, so it's up to Jason.

Meanwhile, Keyser Joker has told the other one that he actually does have a secret way off the runaway train safely. After they fight some more, the tune starts to change.

Alright so, this "deal," which would sort of start them back at square one, doesn't bother me because obviously it's on shaky-ass ground and one of them is definitely killing the other before this issue is over. What does bug me is the "franchising" line, for two reasons:

1) Is this supposed to imply that Real Joker is the one who was behind Joker Incorporated in the Batman Incorporated issues, not a third one?

2) I was just SO SURE it was another indication we were getting a reverse reveal. Joker absolutely does not love the franchising idea. That's kind of been the point of this whole series. The genuine Joker in Keyser Joker's hallucination/memory said that having two Jokers around is stupid. HRRRRMMM.

Anyhow, they leave the train together, though the escape plan is literally just jumping off, which has more issues than they bargained for.

So do you think, assuming the Gotham War writers actually communicated at least a little, that Zdarsky asked Rosenberg what he needed Jason for at the end of TMWSL, and Rosenberg was like, "oh I need him to heroically crash a toxic blimp and almost die?" And then Zdarsky was like, "er, I need him to heroically fly a plane into a magic meteor and almost die?" And then they just shrugged and closed the Zoom?

But yeah, the blimp crashes, and I'm sort of confused because I thought that earlier Bruce was saying that even if the toxin gets into the water, it'll still make it's way to the city. So for one thing, it's still exploding in the air and it's still gonna drift. And the parts that dissolve in water are still gonna drift. There's a part to the equation missing here.

But these two are just thrilled at the excitement.

Until the sudden yet inevitable betrayal.

BUT WHO WAS JOKE

Shortly after this, Ravager shows up with Manhunter, who also survived last issue's explosion. (It just doesn't come up at all. Like it doesn't have to, I guess, but it's just weird that there's not a word or wound about it.) Ravager dives into the water looking for Jason, because she instinctually knows he did something grand and dumb. She finds him among the clown bodies and brings him to shore.

Nothing can kill this man! He came back from the dead with nine lives! And also maybe that Lazarus resin from TFZ is still helping, I dunno.

Elsewhere along the shore, what's left of both Jokers' crews find themselves waiting in the same spot for the Joker they expect to be triumphant.

You know what. I'm soured on Waffles now. Leave him.

And then, from the water…

And that's it. That's how it ends. With a sort of snide cop-out?

Like, it's Joker's POV, so yeah, you could say the dickish tone is just him. But following this story for a year, and then seeing it end with simply the old "you'll never know which Joker prevailed," it doesn't feel clever or whatever this is going for. It just feels obnoxious.

Honestly, it feels like the same takeaway as freaking Three Jokers. 😐 That it doesn't matter who Joker is. All the lead-up to this, where maybe we get a tiny bit of depth and development, even if just in this story, eh. Doesn't matter! We're ending this with blah payoff.

On the other hand, the part of about about there being more questions, about this ending not being tidy, makes me think that this is leaving open the possibility that Keyser Joker actually was the real one. After all, we don't get a flashback to the actual events. The events we see are part of a hallucination, and Keyser never said he had clear memories of being the real or the fake one. He just went from assuming he was the real one to taking Waffles' word for it that he was the henchman.

Also, Keyser Joker was always the Joker giving narration. And the narration boxes for the Final Joker at the end remain in his style. So it seems like we actually have a huge indication of which Joker prevailed-- unless we're meant to assume that if the other Joker prevailed, he merely took over the narration.

I mean, this is what we have. So if I can just choose what I want to believe, I'm going to believe both that Keyser was actually the real guy and that he won. But it puts a real sour taste in my mouth to be super engaged with a story and wanting an ending that says something about Joker's character… and the ending is just that one murders the other and you don't know who, neener neener. It's anticlimactic. It's a predictable direction that I thought SURELY Rosenberg wouldn't go in. It feels like a dick move.

And... what else is there to say? So ends my year of consistently buying a comic, I guess. Nothing else has really grabbed me like TMWSL did, though City of Madness looks promising. After the multiverse and Gotham War stuff, I'm not about to start picking up Zdarsky's Batman. #139 had plenty I should enjoy, but it's soured by Zdarsky deciding to bring a canonical take to the three Jokers concept for some ungodly reason.

A new three Jokers take feels extra stupid after a year of a story about two Jokers. And the second Joker in TMWSL isn't even taken into account in Zdarsky's story. Based off that #135 scene, it really looks like he's going to say that Darwin Halliday accidentally copied TKJ Joker somehow. lmao Why. Why do we have to do this. Why can't this just be one of the things that gets retconned away. I just want my murderclown to be fun.

I need to get back to my list of unread older comics. Or read One Operation Joker! I didn't think I was interested, but I think a random goofy premise is actually just what I need.

#the man who stopped laughing #joker #spoilers #my jibber-jabber #sorry for being a downer

[mirai-e-jump]

+act Magazine January 2024 Issue ft. Hirakawa Yuzuki Interview (translation below)

Publication: December 12, 2023

Hirakawa Yuzuki plays the immovable Rita Kaniska (PapillonOhger) in the Super Sentai series "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger." In her first appearance in this magazine, she says that while her first priority is to complete this role, there are also things she wants to accomplish next.

"When did you first become interested in acting?"

Hirakawa: It wasn't until I joined my agency that I first became interested. Until then, I was attending a business high school in Kumamoto, my hometown, and wanted to become either a tax accountant or a certified public accountant in the future. Around that time, I learned about the "LDH Presents THE GIRLS AUDITION" and I told my parents, "I should enter like it's a commemorative entrance exam.*" I won the Grand Prix in the vocal and dance category, not the acting category. However, it wasn't until I joined the agency that I tried singing, dancing and acting genuinely. So, it was abit embarrassing being told that I was the Grand Prix winner in the vocal and dance category. (*exams taken for schools you have little to no chance of getting into)

"Your first performance was in a stage play."

Hirakawa: It was in "Moryo no Hako" starring Tachibana Kenchi-san. The play was set where the curtains rise on a scene between me and another girl, and I was so nervous that it caused my stomach to hurt every day. Once I said a few words on stage, I was okay, but until then…I guess that once I got on stage, I felt like I had no choice. But, until I was offstage, my heart would be pounding like crazy.

"Did the fact that it was your first time on stage, and your first performance, have a big impact on you?"

Hirakawa: I always thought that if I broke the tempo of the play in the first scene, things would become out of sync. Even during rehearsals I was told, "The beginning is important. It determines the quality of the performance." That's kind of scary. It's a big responsibility. But, I think they trained me well on that stage.

"What did you find interesting about the stage?"

Hirakawa: I always took lessons with two or three people at most, so more than anything, I enjoyed creating a production together with many people. I also thought it was fun to be with my dependable and kind seniors all the way through the rehearsal period, and that they started to feel like friends.

"Were there any memorable words that were said to you during rehearsals for the play or on the stage itself?"

Hirakawa: They'd say "Just try things out for now." I think I tend to worry about what other people think of me. If I think that I have to do something, I focus on only that. Still, I was told, "Just give it your all for now. It'll be easy to control things from there." This is often said on the set of the Sentai series that I'm currently performing in.

"Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger, right?"

Hirakawa: Their keyword is "Immovable," and I do what I can within that context and to "just give things a try." If I really deviate from the character, the Director will get me back on track.

"Have you seen any other Sentai productions?"

Hirakawa: When I was little, I watched "Tom and Jerry." I haven't really watched the previous series. In middle and high school, I was either doing practice lessons, club activities, eating meals, or sleeping (laughs).

"What kind of programs do you currently watch?"

Hirakawa: Since I started working, because I have alot to learn, I've been watching various things. I've only been alive for 22 years, so there are many things that I don't know. I'm learning about these experiences as I watch these works. What have I been watching…I really can't remember (laughs).

"(laughs). How do you remember your lines?"

Hirakawa: One of my strong points is memorizing things, but I'm the type of person who (intentionally) forgets them immediately (laughs). When they say, "We're done filming this scene," I instantly forget about it. So, I don't really remember much. Recently however, at the recommendation of a co star in King-Ohger, I watched the entirety of "Heaven and Hell: 2 Psychos," starring Ayase Haruka-san.

"Were you interested in Ayase-san and Takahashi Issei-san's personality changing performances?"

Hirakawa: It was interesting to see how the two of them came to know each other through swapping bodies. I also experienced performing a body swap in King-Ohger. Before we filmed it, it was recommended to me with, "This show, it's got body swapping," so I learned alot from it.

"For Rita, did they have the keyword "Immovable" from the beginning?"

Hirakawa: Since my role is that of the International Chief Judge, the words "always neutral" were there from the audition stage. When I was reading the script before filming started, the Director said to me, "Rita is Immovable. That's it." It doesn't mean that they shouldn't move, but that they're unwavering. I was also told, "There may not be much movement, but it holds various meanings. Please be extremely immovable this year." That's why even now, I'm looking for things I can do within being "immovable."

"What did you do at the audition?"

Hirakawa: It was an audition for two roles, the yellow Hymeno Ran, and Rita, who I'm playing. I played both roles in the first round, but when I entered the second round, in terms of her character, I thought, "I'm definitely not Hymeno." From there, I went after Rita.

"Did you feel any similarity between Rita and yourself?"

Hirakawa: I thought I could create something close to the calm and dignified feeling of the character. I'm also pretty tall (166 cm, 5'5"), so I thought that the darker color would also suit me in terms of image. Actually, I had auditioned for the Sentai series and Kamen Rider series multiple times, but most of the roles I've gone for up until now have been for the heroine. So, I thought it wasn't really suited for it. But, with Rita I thought, "That's definitely me." I was pretty enthusiastic, thinking that if I missed out on Rita, I wouldn't get a role like this for about four or five years. And then, until I started working in this industry, I hated my voice.

"But it's an attractive voice, with a deep bassy tone."

Hirakawa: When I finished my first performance, many people said to me, "Your voice is really nice." Do the people around me see this voice as my weapon? Rita's words are very persuasive, or rather, have weight to them. I knew from the audition that I could use my voice in this role. However, since filming started in King-Ohger, I felt that my voice has become even lower. I was trying to make my voice sound deeper, but I ended up sounding lower than usual (laughs). I might be stuck with this low voice. Maybe it'll go back to normal once this role ends.

"What do you currently find interesting about performing?"

Hirakawa: Rita only keeps their left eye visible, right? However, there's a limit to what can be expressed with just the eyes. They're a character that doesn't move that much and doesn't laugh. Things like the inflection and intensity of my lines and how they're conveyed are different from how it's been in the past. Still, by experiencing this kind of role, I feel that the range of my expressions have expanded in slightly different directions. I think I'm lucky.

"What kind of roles would you like to play in the future?"

Hirakawa: In episode 38 of King-Ohger, I performed with my face showing, but I was embarrassed since it had been awhile. A year ago, I would've been able to do it normally, so first of all, I'd like to "reset" that (laughs). I don't have much of a funny role now, so I'd like to play more energetic roles. Also, I want to wear a uniform! I want to be in a school story. It doesn't matter if I'm a class president, a bully, or some kid with a depressed personality. I just want to wear a uniform (laughs). I definitely want to make that happen. But for now, my first priority is to finish King-Ohger. It's been a year, and I think the real battle afterwards will be letting go of Rita and returning to Hirakawa Yuzuki.

#I want school bully yuzuyan #ohsama sentai kingohger #kingohger #super sentai #my scans #my translation #rita kaniska #rita kanisuka #hirakawa yuzuki #yuzuki hirakawa #toku cast #tokusatsu #ohsama sentai king ohger #king ohger #plus act magazine #interview #magazine #papillon ohger #yuzuyan #I only just found out she was in this issue #she referred to rita with kanojo in one answer #I still wrote it as they

[tokyo-tower-symbolism]

I've been meaning to get into the re:live game story for a while now, but I don't know how necessary the event stories are in comparison to the main and school stories...

do you have a recommended reading order for main story and events if the timeline makes them interspersed?

Uhh, there was this one good google doc that had a bunch of stuff like what stories were important for each character, but I cannot find that right now so I'll do my best from memory but honestly I might miss a couple things so my bad.

Edit: thank you @pallastronomy for finding the doc in question, i really wanted to read that again too

To read it you can go to the wikia, read it on karth.top, or look up the parts on Youtube. That last one might be the best since you'll get the full visual novel experience.

So first off I would suggest reading the first part of the story, so Main Story chapters 1-6. Well, suggest is a strong word. I think those chapters kinda suck, but I guess they're necessary for the premise and to introduce the characters? But then again they abandon the original premise half way in favor of the performance festival so whatever. And if you want a better introduction to the characters you should read the School Stories (ignoring SJH) and also maybe watch Shoujo Cante All Starlight. So really I don't suggest you read those chapters but

I think at this point you are can read the event stories from "Hello to Halloween" to "Surprise! Rehearsal Friends!"

And you don't need to read them all, but they're fun! I couldn't really tell you which ones are super important to the plot, sorry about that. Honestly my personal opinion at this point is to just pick a couple characters you like to follow and read their stories. You can see who participates in each one on the Revue Starlight wikia

Plus, character card bond stories! Each event has a couple gacha cards they're trying to sell, and sometimes they're not super related to the story, but sometimes they are. If someone references something that happened off screen, it either happened in an earlier event or in the bond card, but I'd still only read the bond cards once you're done reading the event is over since otherwise they can be spoilers. Just think of those as prequels instead of preludes.

Then at this point you can read Main Story Chapters 7-11. And I really do think you should read these since they are juicy. There's a new plot and we really get to dive deep into the ReLive characters and see their individual pasts and why they now stand on stage. It's great.

Now for the Event Stories, feel free to read any story from "Starry Diamond Tragic Orion" up until "Royal Retainer"

Although now I gotta bring up some caveats. Anything with Seiran is not going to matter to the main plot of ReLive, and if you're curious about them, then that gets into Stage Play Territory which is much easier to follow but not in ReLive.

And honestly same with the Seisho only stories. They're fun, don't get me wrong, but they kinda don't affect the developments of the cast at all.

Starry Diamond is a live show that had some Revues, so some of the relive events are just rehashings of those. Except Venus & Cupid Story, which is a sequel to Zeus no Chuusai from the Starry Diamond Live, and that revue is actually super important to the Yumeoji Sisters's story but it is not in ReLive.

And once you've had your fill of those stories, you can start reading Main Story Chapters 12-18, Arcana Arcadia. And this one is really good. Iirc, the main revue starlight writer came in for these parts. There's some info that directly leads into the movie. And it's honestly great.

But the issue is that there are intermission bond stories that need to be read in the middle of the chapters. If you are reading it online that can be kind of pain, but in the game I think it's in the right order? I could not say for sure since I don't actually play it. Anyways, here's the vague order according to the wikia, but I'm not 100% on this

Chapter 12: 1-2

Chapter 13: Tower, Hermit, Empress, 1-3, High Priestess, 4-5, Magician, 6-9, Hanged Man, Strength, 10-15

Chapter 14: Wheel of Fortune, Chariot, 1-2, Lovers, 3-14, Faith, Hierophant, 15

Chapter 15: 1-2, Devil, Sun, Justice, 3-15

Chapter 16: Death, Charity, 1-15

Chapter 17: Temperance, 1, Fool, 2-4, World, Judgement, 5-15

Chapter 18: Hope, 1-9, Emperor, 10-14, 15/Moon

So yeah, after this you have basically free reign to read the remaining event stories. The next big ongoing plot seems to be about Siegfeld Junior High, but that one also isn't really connected to the previous stories at all.

Also some cards have connecting bond stories even without events, such as the Frontier Rangers, Orpheus, Camelot, Snow White, and Yin-Yang.

But for real, I think the best way to get into the story is to read the main story and then see what characters you like. Then you can read along all their bond stories and events that they star in, and maybe you'll find other characters that stand out. If you are missing any information, usually characters will reference whatever they are talking about, so you won't be completely lost.

So yeah, I hope you have fun with the relive story! It touches on a lot of the themes from the show and honestly I just really liked seeing the characters again. And also Arcana Arcadia is great, just so great.

#asks #revue starlight

[fujosh1dreamer]

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur season 2!!!

Alright so episode 12 of mgadd was the school dance episode and I have some thoughts.

This applies mostly to this specific episode but some of it applies to the whole season so far. I understand and appreciate the overall message being conveyed by the episode. About how you should start dating when you're comfortable and how there's no rush.

However the message gets undermined by the simple fact the Marvin exists to be Lunellas love interest.

I don't dislike Marvin but him being exactly like Lunella is annoying. I don't like it and this happens a lot, when shows introduce a love interest who is exactly like the main character.

Once again nothing against Marvin but it's just annoying. Especially since it is the second season. If you want a character to have a love interest introduce them in season 1.

I get it they're both socially awkward and Don't understand social ques but still they're the same person only difference being one is a boy and the other is a girl. Marvin being an alien with daddy issues was interesting until it gets resolved immediately. Other wise these two have no conflict and no obstacles to overcome they're boring.

Now onto my personal gripe about the episode in question.

They did my boy eduardo dirty.

Why???

Eduardo has been a reoccurring background character since the very first episode. Now I've never shipped him with Lu but it was established early on that he had a crush on her.

If ed was a bully type character then I wouldn't care about him. But that's not his archetype he's a misunderstood class clown.

This is episode 12 of season 2 and this is our first time even hearing him speak. Reminder Marvin was introduced in like episode 4 or something. In the episode Lunellas friends tell her she should go with them as a group to the dance, but when they all end up with dates Lu feels left out and also tries to find a date. And she asks out Eduardo who tells her he's already been asked.

It has a very cute sequence where he images them as sailormoon and tuxedo mask.

In the end Lunella goes alone which is fine. Her outfit is very cute. Then Marvin shows up and we get jealous Eduardo. I also want to say that Mar didn't show up to be her date to the dance he needed help. Anyway Ed is jealous and upset everytime we see him on screen.

Which I really hope isn't what his character is going to be boiled down to especially after they developed him so well in season 1. I don't want him and Lu to end up together I just want this character to have the respect that it had in season 1 instead of making him miserable.

Just look at who he's at the dance with that terrible blonde girl who insulted Lunellas hair in season 1.

I just can't get behind Lunella and Marvin because it feels forced and rushed. It's annoying that they just made a carbon copy of Lu for a love interest. That's kind of lazy.

Otherwise the season has been fun so far.

#mgadd #moon girl lunella #moon girl magic #moon girl #moongirl #moon girl and devil dinosaur #devil dinosaur #mgadd casey #mgadd lunella #lunella lafayette #mgadd marvin #disney #disney plus #review #rant #marvel #marvel comics #marvel moon girl

[the-blind-assassin-12]

To Fall At Your Feet

1200 2400 words for 1200 followers #13

A/N: Hi friends! Welcome to the 12-A-Palooza! This event is my way of saying thank you for sticking with me. Your support and kindness toward me and my writing is out of this world and I’m grateful for every last one of you! This is the first of the final two requests, and since they have taken me SO long to get to, I've decided to double them as a thank you for putting up with me your patience. This one was a challenge for me, and I hope you like what I did with it. The song is about trust - or a slight lack of it - and what it feels like when something seems too good to be true, so that was what I had in mind when writing this one. This is completely stand alone.

Warnings: SW canon typical violence, brief mention of blood/injuries

Requested by: @chiyo13 Song: I'm Not Calling You A Liar Character Choice: Din Djarin - with a heavier set/ plus size woman - Thank you so much for this request! I'm sorry it took so long to get to and I hope you enjoy it! <3

Having a place to call home was new to him. 

There was so much he had forgotten about his life before the Mandalorians took him in. He was young, and it was long ago, and the things he’d experienced since then had been in such stark contrast to his earliest memories that they’d been almost entirely overwritten. He knew he had a home, once. A safe place with a soft bed and a family that loved him fiercely. And when he and Grogu settled into the cabin on Nevarro, he realized it was something he could have again. 

Something he could give the kid. 

Though they spent much of their time traveling the galaxy, Din teaching Grogu along the way, having a place to return to that was just theirs was a comfort that he never imagined he would come to value. Being raised in the Fighting Core and then working in the Guild taught him to aim for survival. Spending time with his son taught him to aim higher. 

It taught him how much more to life there was if he was willing to open the door to it. 

But before he could think about what that looked like, he needed to ensure that his home was safe. It wasn’t an issue when he and Grogu were there. Both of them were more than capable of defending their territory from any number of threats, and Greef had done a terrific job of eliminating most of the crime in the city. A Mandalorian would always have enemies, though, and an empty cabin couldn’t defend itself. 

That was where you came in. 

When he brought up his safety concerns to Karga, the magistrate was quick to offer a solution. “I doubt it’ll be necessary as Nevarro is a perfectly respectable planet these days,” the man had said, one hand disappearing into his robe pocket and coming out with a treat for Grogu. Handing it over with a chuckle at the child’s eagerness, he clapped Din on the shoulder. “But I might know someone who can help.” 

He’d gone on to explain that while most of the damage that had been done during Gorian Shard’s attack on the city had been repaired, there was still a section of it that had yet to be restored, leaving a small number of citizens without homes. Most of them had people there on Nevarro who could take them in until the reconstruction was complete. 

You, however, weren’t from Nevarro. In fact, you’d only been there for a few weeks when the pirates descended, and you’d come only because Karga himself had asked you to. He explained that you were once one of his most skilled bounty hunters, and that he’d asked you to help keep his people safe since the New Republic didn’t seem too keen to answer his requests for aid. 

“I’d wager that she’d be more than happy to keep an eye on your abode while you’re gone, so long as the price is right and you give her a place to stay.”

“A hired gun?” Din asked with a tilt of his head, Karga nodding in response. “And you trust her?” 

“Of course I do! As much as I trust you, Mando! I’ve always said that some of my favorite people are bounty hunters. And with a weapon in her hands she’s just as capable as you are of providing protection.”

Din considered the man’s words for a beat, then let out a sigh. “Well, I’d want to meet her first before I agree to anything.” 

“Of course, my friend, of course!” Pulling another confection from his pocket and handing it to a wide-eyed and perpetually hungry Grogu, he promised to set up a meeting. 

– – – 

“I don’t know about this, Greef, I’m not a kriffing housekeeper.” You’d scoffed at first when your boss-turned-friend had brought up the idea. Hands on your hips, you frowned at the man. “You told him that, right? I’d sooner catch a transport back to Tatooine and take my chances in Mos Eisley than take a job cooking and cleaning for some-” 

“Just meet with him,” Karga had insisted. “He’s not looking for anything other than security, and we both know you’re more than up for that task.” 

You’d grumbled, but agreed, and within the next few days you found yourself on a speeder bike, heading in the direction of the cabin out beyond the lava flats. You were doubtful that the man you were on your way to meet would end up hiring you to protect his homestead, sure he would do what so many others had done when deciding whether or not to work with you: take one look at your fuller figure and assume the weight you carried around your midsection meant that you weren’t skilled or able or athletic enough to complete the task at hand. People judged. You assumed he would do the same. 

You were wrong.

When you pulled up to the cabin he - and his kid - had been waiting for you on the bench just outside the front door. He rose as you stepped off of your bike, the sunlight glinting off his broad armored shoulders as he moved. The child hopped down from the seat and trailed along at just the right height that the man’s tattered cape brushed the top of his long, green ears, and you couldn’t help the small smile that curved your lips. 

“Thank you for coming all the way out here.” His voice had surprised you, huskier than you thought it would be. Warmer. “Greef Karga had nothing but good things to say about your skills. I trust his judgment, but I needed to be sure that I could trust you.” 

You liked him right away for how straightforward he was. “Fair enough.” Nodding, you removed your speeder gloves and tucked them into a pocket near your right hip. “If you’re opening your door to someone, you want to know them first.” You brushed your palms together and then extended your right hand out in front of you, introducing yourself.

Just like the sound of his voice, the texture of his gloves against your skin came as a shock to you, the material softer than it looked as it wrapped around your hand. “I’m Din Djarin, and this is Grogu.” He released your hand from his grip and tilted his head towards his left boot, where the child was peeking up at you. 

You glanced down, waving to the kid, his toothy little grin bringing the smile back to your face. He raised one clawed hand to wave back, babbling happily, and then Din’s smoky tone caught your attention again. “Is that a pulse rifle on your back?” 

You assured him that it was, and though he’d asked you several questions about yourself, posed different scenarios to see what you’d do if the cabin were under attack, and thoroughly threatened you should you ever even think of hurting the child or turning on them in any way, you were fairly certain that you had him at the rifle. 

He’d given you the job that same day, which meant that - for the moment, anyway - you had a home. Or at least a place to stay, you reminded yourself, which was all you had been looking for. And that was enough. 

… Wasn’t it?

– – – 

All he was looking for when Karga set up that meeting had been insurance. Safety. The comfort of knowing he - and more importantly, Grogu - wouldn’t have to go through the pain of losing their home again if something happened while they were away.  

You gave him those things, and he was grateful for that.

But the longer you stayed at the cabin, the more he got to know about you and not just about your proficiency with weapons. Each time he and the kid left on a training mission, he realized that he was looking forward not just to returning home, but to seeing you. By the time a year had passed, he realized that he’d found far more than what he’d been looking for when he welcomed you into his life. 

You weren’t only there to protect his home. To Din, you’d become synonymous with it. 

It wasn’t just the familiarity. It wasn’t just the trust that had grown between you, or the companionship that came with sharing a roof, or the way you helped him look after Grogu without having to ask. 

It was the swell in his chest when he caught a smile curving your cheek. It was the calm he felt at the sound of your voice when you spoke his name. It was the way his mind would wander on nights when he couldn’t sleep - to thoughts of sleeping next to you, the shape of you molded to him, skin to skin beneath the sheets. It was the way he imagined how his hands would look, gloveless and gripping your flesh, soft and warm when all he’d ever known had been hard and sharp and cold. 

It was the way he wanted you in every sense of the word. 

He wasn’t sure how you’d respond to such a bold confession. You’d never indicated that you felt the same way or that you wanted your arrangement to change, so he’d kept it to himself, unwilling to risk damaging the relationship you did have. He convinced himself it was better if you didn’t know. 

One holo call was all it took to change his mind on that. 

It came in when he and the kid were just re-entering the Outer Rim territories after a lengthy trip to Kashyyk. When the transmission code blinked on screen and he saw that it was coming from you, he smiled to himself under his helmet. “It's her,” he told Grogu, pointing at the section of the screen that displayed the code. The kid’s eyes brightened, his ears lifting as excited little sounds tumbled from his mouth. “You want to answer it? Go on, you remember which button to press.” He nodded as Grogu’s clawed hand hovered over the correct switch, telling him to push it. 

But he was unprepared for what he was about to see - or what it would make him feel. 

Your face flickered before him and even through the blue tinted light of the projector he could make out a trail of blood coming from your nose, another from a cut that stretched over your eyebrow. The sleeve of your shirt was torn and charred, likely from blaster fire. Your name burst from his lips as Grogu let out a whine from beside him. “What happened?”

“Din. There was an attack. It’s…” You sucked in a breath and winced. “It’s safe now. Bandits came. I took care of them. I just wanted to let you know what you were coming back to.” 

“They hurt you.” He growled the words, moving forward in his seat.

You let out a tired huff. “Occupational hazard. Don’t worry, they won’t be back.” Your eyes flashed sharply and he caught your meaning. 

And though he was glad that they were dead and could pose no further threat, a part of him almost wished they’d gotten away so that he could kill them himself for what they’d done to you. Fists clamped tightly shut, he seethed silently - over the fact that you were injured, yes. But also over the fact that you assumed all he cared about was that you’d protected the property, because that was all he’d given you reason to think. 

He decided then and there that you deserved to know how he felt and what he thought and how much he wanted and needed and cared for you. 

–  –  –  

Both Din and Grogu were out of the cockpit before the sand that had gotten kicked up when the N-1 landed had settled. 

You’d been waiting on the bench, holding a cold pack to the blaster burn on your left arm when the kid jumped and flipped to your side, a slew of worried sounds spilling out, little arms reaching for you. Dropping the pack, you caught the brown-robed bundle, trying to hold back a wince as he collided with you. “Hey, little guy, it’s okay. I’m alright, see?” You rubbed one of his ears between your fingers to soothe him. “Everything’s fine.” 

“No. It isn’t.” 

You looked up at the sound of Din’s voice, setting Grogu on the seat next to you. “What do you mean? Are there more bandits? Did you-” 

“Nothing like that.” He looked down at the kid. “Grogu, why don’t you go inside and draw a picture of what we did on our trip? You can show it to her later.” 

Grogu’s eyes lit up at the suggestion, and within seconds he was climbing down and scrambling inside. As soon as he was no longer in sight, Din let out a sigh and sank onto the seat beside you. “I’m sorry.” 

You frowned. “It’s not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“I… don’t mean for the bandits.” He turned towards you, bringing his hand up to rest against your wounded arm.

“Din?” 

“I can’t believe I could have lost you without ever telling you how important you are to me. How much I care about you. That’s what I’m sorry about.” 

“What?” You blinked. “You… You don’t have to say that just because you feel bad about what happened, Din.” You swallowed. “You don’t have to-” 

He said your name, hand leaving your arm to hesitantly curve around your cheek. “I’m saying it because it’s true and I need you to know it.” 

Though it came as a thorough shock, you could almost feel the honesty rolling off of him and you realized that he had never once been anything but truthful with you. And even though it seemed like something you only dared to dream about when he was gone and you were alone in the cabin - him choosing you when he could have anyone in the galaxy - something in your chest told you that it had been there all along. 

You’d just been too afraid to admit that you wanted it. 

“Well -” You brought your hand up to cover his, keeping it there as his fingers spread to accommodate yours. “Now I know.” 

And now you would make sure that he knew how you felt, too. 

.

.

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be added to or removed from the tag list, please feel free to let me know. You can also fill out the form on my Masterlist! :)

tags: @something-tofightfor ​​ @alraedesigns @valkblue @commanderlola @cannedsoupsucks @dihra-vesa @marauderskeeper @littlemisspascal @mishasminion360 @stevie75 @nyctophiliiiiaaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @harriedandharassed @woodlandmouth @thescarletfang @trickstersp8 @princessxkenobi @imtryingmybeskar @wildmoonflower @mswarriorbabe80 @hp-hogwartsexpress @theredwritingwitch @silverstarsandsuns @competentpotato @pedro-pedrito-pascalito @jedi-in-crocs @hannahkatharine @anoverwhelmingdin @chiyo13 @myloveistoolittle @spishsstuff @Noisynightmarepoetry @tessa-quayle

#12 a palooza #1200 words for 12 followers #but make it a double #din djarin x plus size!female reader #din djarin x female reader #din djarin x plus size! reader #din djarin fic #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fic #din djarin #grogu #pedro pascal character #pedrostories #i'm not calling you a liar #to fall at your feet #Spotify

[divinekangaroo]

Thanks @palmviolet for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 154

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 900k

3. What fandoms do you write for? Peaky Blinders, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy VII, Dragon Age II, The Professionals.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Interesting and not straightforward question: I've been writing since 2007 and only rebooted my fics to AO3 in 2023. I backdated them to time of writing rather than posting live into the current update stream. I was vaguely curious to see what *actually* attracts readers through the AO3 search engine. So, my current top five are all Peaky Blinders Tommy/Lizzie fics, and given my small followers list, everyone following me will probably already have read them!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do, and it’s my vain (both senses of the term) struggle with how to do it appropriately. I am conscious of how comments, particularly on an AO3 "archival" fic, can weight a reader's further interpretation/engagement of or with fic by that author, and that I'll never put so much time into comments as I do into fic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The fics I thought of picking for these two pretty much overlapped. Perhaps this shows just how I approach happiness – it’s moments, it’s never an ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only old Dragon Age fics. Interesting period of time where any fic author that didn't unequivocally support the moral rightness of one particular character's opinions was targeted. Like: ok to write torture/rape fics of this character, but only if it was clear the author thought this character was morally right. Such a destructive troll.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I'll write sex, mostly as part of a larger arc rather than standalone smut; often it is a partial scenario rather than linear start-to-end event written in a rhythm to support a coherent wanking rise-to-climax read. I'm pleased if people find it pushes their buttons, but I'm also not bothered if it doesn't. I do approach smut as one of many possible lenses or frames for a character, however, so smut that detaches from character confuses me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Sometimes but they have to feel really right. I think I tend more to fusion or pastiche (I think those are the terms?) rather than crossover: I take a particular character concept/theme and port them into a particular environmental context which is not possible in the canon to see what happens. The only one I still have up is a FFXII/Dragonriders of Pern fic (incomplete) which was going to be all about the horrible knowledge of socially accepted and endorsed ritualised rape and forced feminisation of a character.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I'm not that popular to notice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have a memory of one in FFXII but can't recall.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Taught me a lot, including the kind of writer I am - difficult to collaborate as my push to complete within a motivational urge period will always be greater than a long-haul effort, and I struggle to be available for other people. I’m either good at the front end ideas-generation, or a micro detail ‘write this particular thing/scene and fill it with goodness’, and not very good at the middle bit – the long slot of planning and plotting and aiming for consistency etc. I am so grateful fandom exists to support non-traditional prose formats which let me play with writing and thinking and engagement without needing to produce to book-style production standards.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? I usually fixate on a character, and pairings allow means to explore that character rather than being an end game.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh they all carry this potential. *cries* The issue for me is loss of motivational drive/thinking; because I rarely have good structural notes etc if I lose my immediate thread of 'thinking of everything all at once' I find it hard to pick up again later. I also stop some fics because I realise how ambitious the scope really is, and I feel like I can’t do them justice.

16. What are your writing strengths? Speed-sketcher? Completionist? Tests multiple ideas rapidly and freely and never worries about something 'being wrong' because there's always another fic to try? Intuitive gut level hits on characterisation here and there?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing, pacing, I can't sustain long fic, I frequently move characters around like paper dolls for the sake of the cool and forget they need their own internal motivation.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I prefer the kind of cant-based/dialect-based approach which splices non-English terms fluidly into English dialogue, mostly because as a child of many migrants this has been my world experience. I do suck at writing this, hence my frequent use of cop-outs to say 'language shift here, meanwhile still writing in English'. But when it’s done well it hits so many of my sweet spots.

19. First fandom you wrote for? FFVII.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Anything in my Personal Favourites list: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3728710. (I'm still too close to Peaky Blinders to pick a fav, it'll take about five years of distance!)

#my writing

[bloodyshadow1]

since I've been forced back into the PJO, HoO, and ToA fandom against my will (due to my adhd forcing me not someone forcing me) I have some thoughts on HOO.

no one should have been in a relationship other than Percabeth in the Seven, at least not at first. Don't get me wrong, I thought Hazel and Frank were cute together, but there was no reason to make them a couple in the book they're introduced.

Personally, I never really liked Piper and Jason together, despite liking both characters as people. I felt like it was a weird start and a weird choice to keep them together. To make matters worse, they get together really offscreen which means we don't really know them as people. I think it would have been more interesting if they had feelings for each other but were unsure if it was real or just from Hera. And I think it would have made their stories better if they realized that the friendship they forged between them was just better than the romance that was forced upon them by Hera.

Them not being actually together in the end I think would fit better with Jason's flip flopping between Greek and Roman. It kind of feels like him choosing the Greek side, while it does have to due with his own character, a lot of it feels like him wanting to stay with Piper. Personally I never felt like their relationship was that strong to earn that.

Speaking of Jason, I feel like there was so much wasted potential with him. I think Rick should have let him keep the coin or had Hera give him a spear at the end of Lost Hero since it would be a good way to differentiate him from Percy. Or him having a weapon that could change forms that he's a master of both would separate him from Percy who has only felt comfortable using Riptide. In fact using both weapons could have been a way to reveal his issue with not being able to choose Greek or Roman as a metaphor if he's good at both but never a master of either because he spent so much time learning both instead of focusing

I wish Rick also toned down the worf effect moments with Jason, I know with 7-9 main characters and having to make sure every character gets a shot is important, but it feels like Jason got shafted a lot of the time. There's a reason a crack ship in the fandom is Jasonxbrick. Jason from the beginning was brought up as Percy's Roman foil, being just as much of a badass, but while he has his moments, he never feels like Percy's equal, just another powerful demi-god on the boat, despite also being a child of the big 3. With Percy, we had 5 books of him being a badass and failing as we watch him go from 12 to 16 and while he does get worfed and nerfed sometimes during HoO, he gets as many awesome moments. We're introduced to Jason when he should be at his most badass, and he does have cool moments, but it feels like he gets tossed around or knocked out more than he has cool moments to get the other members of the Seven something to do.

I also never really understood the whole Greek and Roman divide inside of him storyline that he was having. I feel like either more time needed to be devoted to that or have it drop as a plot point completely. It seems kind of moot since one of the whole plots is working together and basically stop the fighting between Greek and Roman sides. I think it would have been more interesting if he had more scenes with Frank who is a child of two worlds and them realizing they don't' have to chose because both are part of them. I don't really understand why Jason would want to be more Greek than Roman anyway, while I personally prefer the Greek stuff, but since we don't get a lot of Jason in Camp Half-Blood, and what we do have is an atypical time. It kind of feels like a no brainer given how little we see of Roman side of the world, but I don't know, would have preferred Jason defending the stuff he grew up with rather than abandoning it.

I would have liked more with Reyna, I'm not sure what, but I would have liked her with the Seven for a while and forming relationships or the the lack of being able to is why she is willing to leave with Nico to deliver the statue.

Additionally with Reyna, I wish she had more time to just talk with Jason. At the end of Lost Hero, there's some implication that Jason has some sort of strong feelings towards Reyna, romantic or other we don't know, and we know from early on that Reyna had a crush on him in Son of Neptune. Then in Mark of Athena it doesn't matter, I don't think they even talk really as things go wrong so quickly and Jason and Piper got together offscreen. We see Reyna's reaction a bit, but even if they weren't romantic or even if it was a failed romantic relationships because Jason is with Piper, I feel like there could have been more. They were friends for a long time and I'm not sure if Jason and Reyna ever talk without someone there in the 5 books. I dont' want them together either, but I feel like something between them would have been nice.

This is ToA stuff but it happens to do with Reyna so I'm putting it here, but I don't really like that Reyna ends up joining the Hunters of Artemis. this is going to sound shitty, but I don't like that as a plot device and as a way to reveal she's AroAce. I know being Aromantic is a spectrum, but the implication of joining the Hunters is to swear off romance completely. I get that it is some people's dream, but I just don't like how Reyna's coming out was protrayed. She had romantic feelings for Jason and slight interest in Percy. Neither went there for obvious reasons, but I feel like there could have been more done with her being AroAce. Like it feels like her coming out as AroAce and joining the Hunters is because she never got the guy, not because of who she is. For example, I think it would have been interesting if she talked with someone about always going after guys who she could never be with specifically because she didn't feel the same way about romance that other kids her age did.

I will also say that part of me kind of wanted Piper and Reyna to pull a Korrasami before Korrasami was a thing, because I didn't like Piper and Jason together. It's selfish and I'm all for Reyna being AroAce or being AroAce on a spectrum since I know some and Reyna actually feels demiromantic to me personally. It would also have been nice for Reyna to give Venus the middle finger by falling in love with a daughter of Aphrodite after Venus said no demigod would heal her heart and made Reyna feel like she was broken all this time. I feel like it was supposed to be about self love or realizing she was AroAce but it's shitty thing to say it that way to a 14 year old

I think Leo was good overall as a character, but I am not a fan of his relationship with Calypso. I don't like the slap slap kiss kiss dynamic they had and with Leo kind of flirty because he felt like the odd one out of the Seven being the only one not in a relationship, I think his story would have been better if he realized that he wasn't actually the odd one out and his friends did love him. sort of him failing at romance but learning to love himself and find a place in a new found family. I will say, if there was someone for him to fall for, I liked his brief meeting with Echo far more than his relationship with Calypso and I think they all deserve better than canon, Calypso included.

Piper unfortunately so much of her character revolves around his relationship with Jason which is why I would prefer the Seven to not have romantic entanglement or let it grow or wither as the story went on. Don't get me wrong, she has some amazing scenes, but I feel like Rick didn't know what to do with her all the time, which I think a lot of characters in HoO suffered from.

I wanted to see more of Camp Jupiter. I get that quests are the driving plot of the whole Percy Jackson series as a whole so we can't spend that much time in one place. But the fact that Camp Jupiter was supposed to be the opposite of Camp Half-Blood, yet is a city state compared to a summer camp, it feels like we didn't spend nearly as much time there as we should. Like with Jason foiling Percy, we had 5 books of seeing bits and pieces of Camp Half-Blood we only got glimpses of Camp Jupiter.

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus spoilers #HoO #HoO spoilers #pjo spoilers #trials of apollo #trials of apollo spoilers #toa #toa spoilers

[armoredtitanmistress]

𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙦𝙪𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 | TOJI FUSHIGURO| MASTERLIST

pairings: toji x reader

genre/tags: Toji x Gojo! reader, gojo’s older sister, pre-star plasma vessel arc/star plasma vessel arc, strangers to friends, idiots to lovers, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Series Warnings: foul/explicit language; major character death; Toji is enough of a warning, family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics; feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood neglect experiences, ; misogyny; friends with benefits (briefly); commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached reader; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Word count: TBD

Status: Ongoing

synopsis: As the future head of the Gojo clan, a certain persona needs to be projected at all times; calm, calculated, and reserved. Not a single soul other than your younger brother has seen you be anything other than that. All except Toji, the enigma who has been following you for as long as he can remember.

A/N: Hiii! This story is one I've desperately been wanting to see come into fruition by other authors. I didn't see enough of this pairing and decided to write one of my own. I may be a little in over my head with this one since I wrote the first couple of chapter without much thought about the actual plot. I promise it gets better!! I've tried writing fanfics before in this past but feel like this is the only one I will be able to complete. I'll try to keep to a schedule for chapter releases but can't promise I will be good about it. I'll probably be a lot slower than I'd like to be.

chapters -> Playlist 🎶: a soliloquy to the life we never had

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6 (18+)

chapter 7 (18+)

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

#toji x reader #jujutsu toji #jujutsu kaisen #toji x y/n #toji zenin #toji fushiguro #jjk #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #jjk fluff #fluff #jjk angst #angst #jjk megumi #megumi fushiguro #masterlist #fanfic #fandom #toji smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #female reader #major character death

[the-final-sif]

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 75 total works currently!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

904,821 total words written!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only really DSMP, but in the past I've written for bnha, marvel, rise of the guardians, homestuck, transformers and a bunch of other random ones in there.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Before looking, my guess is it'll all be bnha, since some of those are my longer ones and and got pretty popular.

Katsuki Bakugou has No Goddamn Chill (But It's For The Best That He Doesn't) - 26,412 kudos

Lessons Learned - 15,859 kudos

You know that thing where an orchestra swaps instruments, and like, some of them get it right away, but others have no clue what they're doing? This is that but with quirks, two unwilling participants, and also Emotions - 11,774 kudos

The Green Eyed Monster - 7,066 kudos

A Yellow Box, Time, Trust, and A Few Adjustments - 6,579 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Not usually, I respond sometimes if there's something that catches my attention. but. Uh.

This my inbox filtered by "comments without replies". I do read them all though! Even if I don't mark them as read.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhh, for dsmp they aren't too bad but probably A Palimpsest Mind.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

For DSMP again, Mercenary to Mailman

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Nope, never really had issues with that. I've had a couple of weirdos but not really hate.

9. Do you write smut?

I did it once to prove I could but I didn't find it too interesting. Sometimes ideas can be fun but ever since the one time I found myself just wanting to write something else when I tried.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nah, it's not my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, very weirdly. Was able to get it taken down though!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Several of my fics have been translated and it was super cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I don't think I have? But I've done RP and worked out ideas with people before!

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Uh, honestly I'm less interested in ships themselves and more the nonsense that you can create with that. Any ship can be my favorite if it serves my purposes.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Fissile Family tbh. I have so much written for that and it all planned out but my interested in the bnha fandom is currently dead.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I'm a pretty fast writer overall, and I think I do well with characterization and dialogue. I know that when I get in a flow I can get character voices down pretty well and that's something that I'm proud of. I'm also pretty good with doing my own take on characters that's different from their canon versions but is still verisimilar.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I just forget words or switch what sentence I'm writing halfway through and then never catch it. Also I have to actively beat back my own comma abuse.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's neat? Unclear what this question is asking me for.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior cats! It was hand written in a binder that I actually still have, about clans in an abandoned shopping mall. It was very silly and I'm still proud of baby me for writing it!

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Seven Year Old Katsuki Has The Ability To Kill A Grown Man And No Concept Of Legality

The formatting on this one was insane and took so long and I'm proud of how it came out!

#sif speaks #my writing #about me

[b-else-writes]

it's so interesting to me how seeing the actual live action cast of ATLA has really made people realise that Katara and Aang together is weird because Aang is an entire pre-pubscent child with the maturity to match, and Katara is a whole teenager. you can hide that in animation easily, but once you actually cast people in that age range, it becomes glaringly obvious that a 14 year old girl would not be giving a 12 year old boy the time of day and how all the pictures of the four together make it look like a child, his babysitter, the babysitter's brother, and the babysitter's high school boyfriend.

but it does make me extremely curious how they're going to adapt then. we're only getting Book 1 so far, so i can imagine that they could keep Aang having a puppy crush on Katara, but they cut the (very minimal because Kataang was half-baked) evidences in Book 1 like the powerful bender blush - which they'd prob cut anyways given we're only getting 8 episodes, 1 hour each. and then they save the "development" for Book 3 where Aang's actor will be an older teen.

there's also been persistent but unfounded rumors that Zutara was the reason Bryke stepped away from the project. now i have shipped Zutara since i was a child, but it does give me pause here as well because Zuko's actor is gonna be 22 this year and Katara's actor is a minor still - but that's not say they won't do it anyways, since they're meant to be playing characters around the same age. i could see them just following what has been laid out in Book 1 and staying there, and then seeing what happens for future seasons, when Katara's actress is an adult (which still feels morally questionable).

of course, all of this assumes that the series will be good or popular enough to even receive renewal for 2 more seasons, and it is Netflix. how they're adapting the series has been kept under wraps heavily, the only rumor i've seen so far that seems credible is that they'll show the Air Nomad genocide in Ep 1, basically compressing ep 1-3 + 12 into the start. so we're not getting an exact adaptation.

now, i'm not on board with a live action adaptation because they ultimately don't need to be made at all. BUT, i do think if you're going to make an adaptation, then adapt. do something interesting with it, expand on stuff that was interesting but never went anywhere, remove stuff that didn't work the first time, etc. it's not going to be a shot for shot remake so don't try to be. i've always loved the live-action version of Sailor Moon because while it had the most god-awful special effects, it basically took the bones of canon and expanded on them in new and exciting ways that still felt true to the spirit, characters, and themes of the original. otherwise, don't bother. the cartoon will always exist so making a 1:1 adaptation is pointless.

so in THAT regard, i actually think using the live action to explore Zutara is not a bad idea at all - it's just.....everything else surrounding it that is like, hmm. which really could've been solved by casting a 17 year old to play Zuko as well, like Dallas Liu is cute as hell and there's also rumors that he and Uncle Iroh are the best actors on the show so i'm firmly of the belief he won't be an issue in enjoyment, but this man is old enough to have graduated from university! but again it's all putting the cart before the horse because this might all just crash and burn in Book 1 so it won't even matter. which just goes back to. time to let ATLA and its legacy be.

#i just have so many reservations about this and the shipping is like one part of that as well #we will really have to see #atla live action #zutara

[neversetyoufree]

So while I know it sounds a little counterintuitive on the surface, one of the reasons I'm really hoping VnC goes down the Vanitas/Noé path is that, out of all the routes the romantic plot could take, VaNoé is by far the most interesting outcome for Dominique.

It's been made pretty clear that Noé is going to end up with a crush on somebody in the long run, and the beginnings of that foundation have been in place since all the way back in chapter 12. And of course, given how Domi has very strong feelings for Noé, whoever Noé ends up pursuing is going to have a huge impact on her as well.

Personally, I'm just not very interested in the stories we'd get out of Noé having feelings for Jeanne or Dominique.

Although Domi's crush on Noé is often played for fluffy comedy, it's also clearly tied into a lot of the less than healthy aspects of her character. She tried to completely rewrite herself and transform into her brother to make him happy. She tried to kill herself because she thought it would save him, and the only thing that could snap her out of her suicidal mindset was the fact that her death would make Noé sad. It is incredibly unhealthy to tie your self worth so deeply to another person like that.

Domi's had a crush on Noé since before things got so unhealthy, and she'd probably still have these problems to some degree even if she weren't in love with him, but the fact remains that the two issues are inextricably linked right now. And going further with DomiNoé would mean either leaving Domi's issues about Noé worsening/unresolved (which I doubt will happen), or writing her working through her baggage and learning to value herself outside him, then coming back to her crush with a new, healthier viewpoint. And that could technically happen!

However, I think we would make a much cleaner narrative break if Domi's learning to live for and value herself coincides with her finally moving past her feelings for Noé. Her moving on romantically would be a really good way to symbolize her moving on from her unhealthy dependence on him, and I don't want to pass that up. She needs to have something in her life that isn't connected to all her baggage about Louis.

Also, from the Noé side, I just don't see much practical evidence of him having feelings for Dominique. Chapter 12's romantic foreshadowing coincides with Noé's obvious jealousy over the whole Vanijeanne situation, so I'm pretty sure his eventual crush is going to be on one of them. And that brings me to the issue of NoéJeanne.

As I've said before, I do think there's a small amount of evidence that could support Noé's eventual crush being Jeanne, so it wouldn't be completely out of left field. However, I'm personally hoping this isn't the route Mochijun takes, and the biggest thing that turns me away from this idea is what it would mean for Dominique.

When Misha manipulates Domi during the Amusement Park arc, he uses not just her crush on Noé, but specifically her jealousy over Jeanne as ammunition against her. Because Dominique has noticed Noé's jealousy over VaniJeanne, and she fully believes that Noé has feelings for Jeanne. But the thing is, the Amusement Park arc is almost entirely a story about the destruction and pain that comes from falsely assuming that you understand a loved one. Dominique almost dies because she mistakenly thinks it's what Noé would want. Misha's whole motivation as an antagonist is trying to bring Vanitas back to a family dynamic that Vani no longer wants or believes in. And Noé's big turning point is the realization that he has to look at Vanitas clearly and think about how he actually feels, rather than judging based on his personal feelings.

So with all that said, Mochijun turning around and saying "Domi's right about Noé's feelings for Jeanne, actually" would be really weird and out of place. I'm fairly sure that, although it's implied earlier, the first time "Domi thinks Noé has a crush on Jeanne" is called out explicitly is when Domi and Jeanne talk in chapter 45. This comes immediately before the start of the Amusement Park arc, and that scene in particular serves as the buildup to Domi's imminent breakdown, so her jealousy and the themes of the Amusement Park are pretty inextricably tied.

"Domi makes a false assumption about Noé's feelings, and it leads to her fighting with her dear friend Jeanne for no good reason" would fit very well with the rest of the arc. "Domi is right about the jealousy, but wrong to fight with Jeanne anyway" would be a much clumsier from a thematic and storytelling perspective, and I'm inclined to think Mochijun knows better than that.

In short, Noé having feelings for Jeanne is possible, but it would make Domi and Jeanne's part of the amusement park arc a lot worse.

So would Noé having feelings for Vanitas be better?

For starters, Noé having feelings for Vani would make Dominique's jealousy of Jeanne incorrect, which solves the thematic problem outlined above. Beyond that, though, Noé having feelings for Vanitas would also allow for the most interesting interpretation of the original "Noé is jealous" scene from chapter 12.

In that scene, it's obvious that Noé is jealous over Vanitas and Jeanne's new romantically/sexually charged blood drinking situation. Noé thinks it's because he's jealous that Jeanne gets to drink Vanitas's blood, and Domi thinks it's because he's jealous that Vanitas is getting close to Jeanne sexually/romantically. Noé being correct is frankly not worth considering, and we just addressed why Domi being correct creates problems. However! If Noé is jealous that Jeanne is getting close to Vanitas in the romantic sense, then Domi and Noé are each half right in a way that I find both logical and compelling.

Noé struggles to understand his own feelings on a deeper level, but he can understand his own physical cravings for blood, so it makes sense that, even when feeling other types of attraction, blood is the one thing that gets through to him. Meanwhile, Dominique dislikes Vanitas and is pretty obviously attracted to Jeanne, so it follows that she'd assume Noé thinks the same way. They each have an insight into Noé that the other doesn't, and they're both also a little bit misguided, which seems pretty in keeping with their characters and VnC as a whole.

Then, on a wider scale, a "Noé's in love with Vanitas" angle would also do some really interesting things for Dominique. My best guess right now is that Domi's arc will eventually end with her finding some self worth/reason to live beyond Noé, but she'll have a long and painful process getting there. And Noé liking Vanitas would help facilitate exactly that! It could force her to accept that she's not going to get with him, which could in turn help her move on and find her self worth elsewhere, but it would also put her through. just. so much suffering. On the pettier level, she'd have to watch her dear friend and crush fall in love with someone she finds rather despicable (and for the second time!!). And on the more serious level, she'd have to watch Noé once again link his heart to a doomed man and have to reckon with the aftermath of his death.

That sounds about like the kind of growth to angst ratio that Mochijun likes to go for.

So tldr: Noé's eventual crush is almost certainly going to be on Domi, Jeanne, or Vanitas, and out of those three, Vanitas is the only option that wouldn't get in the way of what I think/hope is Domi's narrative arc. In order for her to accept that she's been misunderstanding Noé and properly start building self worth, she can't end up dating him, and Noé can't have feelings for Jeanne. That leaves VaNoé as the best and only option for Dominique.

#this post turned into a freaking manifesto #...whoops #but for real though I have been thinking about this pretty much since I started this blog #and just putting off the post bc I didn't wanna start Shipping Discourse and bc I knew it would be incredibly long #so anyway if you're reading this I don't wanna. like. dunk on non-vanoé ships #this is just about what I think would be most compelling for canon #not about what's good and cool in fanworks and the like #also though I didn't bring it up in the post itself. all this is also part of why domijeanne is so good #it allows domi to move on COMPLETELY by finding somebody new and unrelated to her past to have feelings for #vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #vanoé #english major hours #the vanoé agenda #Noé Arqueueviste

[help-me-find-a-name-please-lol]

CM HOTCH/REID HEADCANONS

My headcanon about Hotch leaving in Season 12, Reid's reaction, and trying to have it make some kind of sense.

Disclaimers:

This is the first rewatch of the later seasons I've done since it aired on TV, and I've only just finished Season 12 episode 4 (I do, however, know the early seasons ridiculously well).

From LDSK onwards, I only ever really watched it for Hotch, Reid, and the Hotch/Reid dynamic. I didn't really watch it after Hotch left, but caught bits and pieces because my roomates did.

Yes I know why Thomas Gibson left the show and why they had to suddenly wrap up his character. No, I don't condone violence in the workplace. I also never dove deeply into the behind-the-scenes lore of this show, cast and crew interviews, etc etc. This will purely be relating to the show as it was depicted on screen, and my love for the characters as their own entities.

I am not going back to fully source which eps all my observations come from, cos I'm supposed to be working on an assignment rn and CM transcripts are a ducking nightmare. I just wanted to put this idea out there cos I think we all need a bit of self-soothing after the crap they fed us to write Hotch out of the show.

Also fun story I just came back to finish writing this after being interrupted by what I though was someone trying to break into my house at 4am (heard a noise, gate wide open, can't see anyone but damn, scary. My town's big on crime, too). SO my thoughts may now be even more disorganised thanks to the adrenaline crash headache I'm currently experiencing.

So anyway like I said, just finished watching S12E04 Keeper, during which Reid gets a call we don't hear, is visibly upset by it, and takes a bit of prodding to discuss it with JJ and Rossi. He then reveals that he was just told his mother left her care facility on her own and was found wandering confused around a casino. He takes minimal convincing to head back to Quantico and lines himself up another couple of days off to visit his mum (yes I'm Australian, this is how we spell it lol).

MY HEADCANON: This is when Hotch called Reid to tell him that he was going into witness protection and wouldn't be coming back. (Exactly how much was discussed on the phone vs possibly being discussed/explained later in person is of course open to interpretation, but enough for Reid to know Hotch wanted to say goodbye and to not tell the rest of the team).

I know that his mum's issues are an ongoing valid storyline. But this is why it was also a plausible excuse for Reid to come up with on the spot as to why he was upset.

Another thing that makes it entirely plausible that the phone call was about Hotch is the long, significant staring Reid did at Prentiss as she walked away after they discuss what supposedly happened with his mum. To me that could scream that Reid was actually dealing with something team-related, and was already grieving how it would affect the other members of his team that he's keeping it from. He could have gazed down or elsewhere to communicate his worry for his mum to the audience, but he specifically turned and watched Prentiss leave, looking all angsty.

What's a heck of a lot less plausible:

His mum, who has been in care since Reid became a legal adult, suddenly escaping her care facility, despite having been in care for well over a decade and who now needs even more supervision due to Alzheimer's on top of her Schizophrenia. Yeah, escapes happen, but to make it all the way into a casino and being found in a confused state? When this didn't happen before Reid flew up and got her diagnosed her with Alzheimers? Even though she'd been getting some increased freedoms for doing well on her new meds prior to her sudden worsening with the Alzheimer's onset?

Hotch leaving without saying something directly to Reid first. Yeah, I'm a shipper, and I know Hotch has his son to think about, but I call BULLSHIT. Hotch knows all about Reid's abandonment issues and there is no way he'd want to end up on the same mental list Reid keeps alongside Reid's father and Gideon. When Gideon went AWOL, Hotch returned from suspension, despite the fight he knew it would cause with his wife, because "the team" needed him. Then Haley stressed "no, they need Gideon". Fully believe this was all just about Reid (I also kinda low-key believe Haley had an inkling about Hotch's thing for Reid but anyway). Hotch, Reid and Morgan functioned as a team while Gideon was on leave after the bomber case, Morgan didn't even really want Gideon to come back and would not have been that thrown by his absence. Reid however we all know was very emotionally-involved. And it's Reid that Hotch pulls aside to get his head back in the game (and who then gives them a breakthrough in the case shortly after, at Hotch's encouragement). When Gideon had officially left and Hotch addressed the team about it, he mostly directed what he was saying towards Reid, when he said that he couldn't explain why he'd left the way he did, etc. And when Hotch was trying to decide whether he'd take over as section chief after Strauss left, again he was addressing the team but pretty much turned and spoke directly to Reid when he said something along the lines of "if I decide to leave the BAU, you'll be the first to know". He also saw how much it killed Reid to be lied to about Prentiss (and you can see he felt like shit about it during Reid's assessment). This man. Would NOT. Have left Reid without saying goodbye. That's the hill I'm dying on. On top of that, Hotch is always the most emotionally-compromised whenever Reid is in danger, and he knows it (he let Gideon know he was currently a terrible example of "handling things emotionally" while Reid was being held by Hankel, resulting in Gideon's weak reassurance of "We'll get him"; when Reid got on that train with Elle he tried to stop it then immediately went to chat with the sniper; when Reid was in the cult compound he had to hand off negotiations to Rossi; when Reid was protecting Owen Savage; heck he practically yeeted Morgan out of the way when Reid was trying to talk down Maeve's stalker and they heard a gunshot. Etc etc.). And whenever Hotch gets emotionally affected by other things (eg that defence attorney for amnesia/coma guy, or regarding his brother), Reid is the one who can break through that and keep him steady. Reid is VERY IMPORTANT to Hotch and I don't see him hurting Reid in what to him is the worst way someone could do it.

Reid being so chill about Hotch suddenly leaving without saying goodbye. Goes without saying, yeah? But I'll say it. I get that they've been trying to paint him as more emotionally-mature and that he was able to handle Morgan leaving, but it is SO not the same relationship or circumstance and Reid would not have taken Hotch's departure in stride like that. I get that they also wanted the show and its characters to move on as quickly and as apparently unaffected as possible, but it still clearly flies in the face of proper characterisation. Reid is brilliant and back when he was being held by Hankel, I'm sure he could have found any number of ways to communicate with a specific team member at that moment, but he chose Hotch. He knew Hotch would be the only one capable of putting his ego aside at being "picked to die" and to listen properly to the rest of Reid's message. Once he confirmed that his message was correct and that he was in a cemetery, Reid was so sure that Hotch understood his message and would be coming to save him that he let his guard down for the first time. I think he only picked up that gun and shot Hankel with it in the end to just superstitiously make sure that the bullet never did reach Hotch (and to "free" Tobias, or whatever. Either way Hankel wasn't going for the gun or to use Reid as a shield when he turned to face off with the FBI and any of them could have taken him down easily). They've only been getting closer and closer over the years, on-screen and off (Fist-bump anyone? Always standing close together? Plus Reid's been teaching Jack magic tricks and was the one to get him smiling and laughing after Hotch got arrested by SWAT, which you know would make Hotch even more gooey for him). They're 100% an army of 2/hyper-competent power couple (take for instance the way Hotch and Reid were mirrored against Garcia and Kevin when she referred to her own pairing as the President and Vice-President after the bank blew up?) who can probably achieve 90% of the team's success level on their own. That super-serial-killer chick may have talked about Reid losing a "protector" in Morgan, but Hotch has always been the one Reid has come to or looked to. He was pretty distraught about the idea of Hotch leaving to be Section Chief, not that long ago, too. Also, constant super-crush behaviour which I could list but this post is already very long. Reid would not just immediately go "Prentiss is our leader now, this'll be great!". FFS.

Anyway we all know the way they wrote Hotch off was bullshit, hence the suuuper-long monologue to explain everything that's apparently happened off-screen, and yeah he'd totally enter WITSEC without even telling the team (until he decided to resign) when Peter Lewis had already hacked it once and killed the person on it before the team figured out who he was after and got there 🙄. All of it is super implausible. But to me, nothing more so than Reid's poor imitation of shock/surprise and almost total lack of emotional reaction. Him knowing beforehand, because Hotch already said goodbye to him, is the only thing that will ever make me be at peace with this crap from an in-universe POV.

This could all be shot to pieces in the next ep lol, but for now I'm just glad my brain has a way to make sense of it.

#criminal minds #hotchreid #hotch/reid #heid #sorry for the super long rant #that hasn't been proofread #and my copy-paste went funny so God only knows if the same phrase I tried to move is somewhere in this post like 10 times #I wouldn't normally share but #there's not a lot of hotch/reid content #so I thought I might as well #I realise I also spewed a whole bunch of my other headcanons out there in a half-developed way #if someone takes issue with them I hope I get to explain before they yell at me that I'm wrong #like don't just assume I have poor media literacy folks. Tonight's idea may be half-formed but I can back the rest of my shit up #at least as well as any other subtextual fan-theory #ok hey it's now 6:30am! #goodnight! #😅😅😅