#the only judgement I’ll accept

[latinokaeya-moving]

after all of this tho i still think diluc sucks lol he still irritates me bc it’s clear the game wants you to sympathise and admire him sooooo bad and they lay it on soooo thick when i’m just like :/ no. lmao.

#x #gi posting #i don’t like the way this game consistently shoves down ur throat how ur Supposed to feel abt characters or whatever it’s so annoying #they use paimon as a mouth piece everytime and i’m just like ? no thanks #like they do it consistently w eulas whole story. like narratively the traveller DOES feel sorry and sympathetic towards eula when it’s like #but what if i don’t lol. #i get dilucs deal now though i had been ruminating on his like. motivations/goals for a while now and they make more sense now #his whole thing is to do with self righteousness and believing himself to be the only one able to enact justice into the world #so he neglects or at least has put to the side all other personal issues bc he believes only his vision/delivery judgement takes precedent #and that. is incredibly annoying in terms of his relationships w others #like what’s worse than a self righteous white man lmao. come on #(me being at my most unforgiving and bitter bc i’m a hater at my core£ #also random thought but i think it sets up an interesting parallel between diluc - choosing to continue to sort of. enact his fathers legacy #perhaps at the expense of himself and his relationship w others? (in the sense that they do not take precedent !) #vs kaeya - choosing to… ignore(? lol) his fathers legacy/wishes bc of all the ties he has to mondstadt now #and how He actively maintains those familial and friendly relationships bc they’re what matters to him #and how that translates into kaeya more obviously / desperately hinting towards wanting an active/true reconciliation w diluc while diluc is #more like… willing 2 accept what they have as of now. at least until his job of playing judge jury and executioner on all threats to mond #or whatever is finally done (which it never will be lol) #anyways a lot of assumptions and leaps of understanding r made here but it clicks fairly well in my head so i’ll accept it for now #i’ll admit they were on more neutral terms than i thought. tbf not my fault consenting all the interactions #we’d had until this moment were either tense or actively antagonistic lmao #so yeah. sure they care for each other n want to reconcile 2 a certain extent #still only one person rlly putting in most of the work tho

[imtryingbuck]

Eighteen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 5,786

Warnings: fluff, angst, heavy use of pet names. eating humans (doesn’t happen obviously and it’s only said as a joke) mentions of cheating, mentions of past suicide attempt

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

It had been three years since she was last at home, three years at private school and it was amazing for her. 

She made friends with two of the girls there Natasha and Wanda, they had introduced themselves to her first and Wanda shyly had asked if Y/n would like to be their friend, she hesitated at first but eventually said yes which brought a huge smile to Wanda’s face and a shy smile to Nat’s.

They accepted her with open arms and Nat even enjoyed playing in the mud and climbing trees with Y/n. When that fateful day came where they saw her scars she panicked and knew that they wouldn’t want to be her friends anymore but instead of judgemental or looks of horror Wanda burst out crying and pulled her in to a bone crushing hug whilst Nat stood there cursing in Russian. For the first time since James she opened up to what had happened to her.

Not even Steve knew the whole story, especially not Sam. Sam had heard things but chose not to listen; he chose to wait until she had said something herself.

Once she had finished telling them everything she was comforting the two red heads reminding them that she was okay now.

It had felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and for the first time she felt like she could breathe.

If you saw one of the girls the other two was close behind.

Throughout the three years that had passed she had heard about Bucky, Sam and Steve from her parents. The boys had showed up a few days after she had left so James could apologise and when they found out she had gone James started to cry, Steve and Sam too. When she heard about that she wanted to go back home to make up with her boys fighting with herself on whether or not she should but ultimately she decided that she wasn’t going anywhere. James had made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t her friend and that he never wanted to be in the first place.

It was a hard decision for her to make but luckily she had Nat and Wanda by her side supporting her.

Now that school was over she was heading back home, she had decided she didn’t want to go to college and after a bit of back and forth with her parents - especially her mom - they agreed to let her do what she wanted to do.

“We’ll see each other in a month Wands don’t cry” she says hugging Wanda who was in fact balling her eyes out.

“A month is so long away an-and what will I do if I’ve forgotten your face or-or your voice?” Ever so dramatically Wanda cried.

“Really? Really Wands it’s four weeks you’re not going to forget anything about me and if you do I’ll have to punch you in the arm”

“Please don’t, but you’re right. I’ll just have to go on living without you my friend, go go leave and don’t look back, I don’t think my heart could take it” Wanda says bringing one hand across her face and the other clutching her chest.

Y/n looks at Nat who stands there with one eyebrow raised “this…this is our best friend”

“I know. Wand why do you have to be so dramatic all the time?”

“Hey I’m not dramatic I’m traumatised!”

Nat and Y/n burst out laughing, shaking their heads at the red head. “Traumatised? Wanda I love you but you my friend are so dramatic”

“I’m trying to be…emotional and romantic well not romantic because even though I love you Y/n I have to admit baby girl you’re not my type”

“Don’t say that-“ Nat says quickly but gets cut off.

“I-I’m not y-your type? H-how dare you!”

“Great just great, look everyone these two weirdo’s are my best friends!” Nat shouts pointing at her friends.

“I have to be honest with myself Y/n/n okay, I can’t keep lying to you it-it’s not fair, I’m sorry” Wanda says in a wobbly voice.

“No, no I understand. I’m just not good enough for you and that’s the truth! Don’t keep lying to yourself Wanda!”

“Guys please stop…” Nat butts in.

“Great you’ve upset our daughter!” Wanda shouts throwing her hands in the air.

“Me? Me? Well guess Wanda she might not even be yours! That’s right I cheated on you with your father!”

“W-what? H-how could you? I loved you”

“But you don’t love me anymore now the truth can be out there!”

“To be fair Wanda could possibly be my dad because we both have red hair…”

“She gets her attitude from you Y/n, how could you do this to us?”

“Us? You’re the one that literally just said I wasn’t your type!”

“Guys please, I don’t want to come from a broken home”

“Oh Natty come here sweetie me and your maybe father was just playing” Y/n says opening her arms for Nat to shuffle into. Wanda then wraps her arms around the pair.

“Well ladies that was a very moving performance if I do say so myself but it’s time for you to break it up and leave” Mr Walters says from the steps leading up to the school.

“Right, sorry sir. Emotional day” Y/n speaks first.

“A lot of truth came out sir, we needed it” Wanda then says.

“Wanda might not be my father sir, I’m so depressed” Nat shrugs.

“I’m…I’m actually traumatised because of you three. Thanks for that.”

“Rude. Well goodbye sir, thanks for being the best teacher ever!” Y/n waves.

“Bye ladies, good luck with everything” he says walking back in to the school, he had to admit that he was going to miss seeing the trio and miss their antics.

“You’re such a teacher’s pet” Nat laughed.

“It’s called respect madam, something you clearly don’t have for your mother!”

“Y/n, baby it’s time to go” Maria interrupts whatever Nat was going to say.

“Coming. Well ladies I guess this is it, it’s been a pleasure knowing you but this is where the curtains close, I bid you adieu.” Y/n bows.

“And I’m called dramatic” rolling her eyes Wanda bows too.

“Alright guess I’ve got to do the same” Nat follows along.

“But no in all seriousness I’m so glad I met you and I’m forever grateful to the pair of you”

“Always Y/n you know this, we’ll always be friends no matter what and we’ll see each other next month” Nat said as she pulls Y/n into a hug.

“I love you both” Wanda says wrapping her arms around her friends.

Pulling away they all smile at each other.

“Last one to their parents cars are a rotten egg in 3…2…1” 

They take off running to their parents; Y/n first, Nat second and Wanda third.

“No fair! You guys know I’m terrible at running!” Wanda shouts from her parents’ car.

The drive home was filled with conversations, laughter and catching up. It had been six months since they had seen her in that six months she looked more grown up, more sure of herself, happier.

Maria couldn’t help but smile as her daughter rambled on about what her and her friends had been getting up to. Amazed by how she looked so much like her mama, Maria made it her sole mission to make sure Y/n got a few photographs of her and her mama from the hell hole of a house she grew up in. Maria had kept one for herself it was a photo of Y/n who was roughly three or four years old with her arms wrapped around her mamas neck who had a baby Y/n in her arms as they stood outside a cabin, both smiling widely as the camera captured a beautiful moment between mother and daughter.

It was only after seeing that photograph that Maria understood where Y/n had gotten her crazy unruly hair from, Maria knew that Y/n was blessed to have taken her looks and traits from such a beautiful woman.

Y/n didn’t know that her momma would go to her mamas grave and put fresh flowers down every weekend or how she would sit on the hard ground and speak to the woman she never met before and talk for hours telling her how their daughter was growing, how she was cheeky and caring, how smart she was. Or how just before she would leave the grave where her birth mom laid Maria would place a kiss to her fingers and place them on the headstone and say “thank you my friend” because yes even though she had never met the woman and that she was no longer alive she had become Maria’s friend, and every time she thanked the woman it was for giving her a wonderful gift, Y/n.

“-mom? Momma are you even listening?” Y/n says.

“Oh, sorry darling yes I’m listening”

“No you weren’t but it’s okay I was just saying that Nat had found a rat in her bag and she screamed so loudly it nearly burst my eardrums”

“To be truthful I would have done the same thing” Maria chuckles.

“I know! I had to calm it down because it had gotten scared, I mean well so would I if I had Nat screaming and trying to hit me with a bag” Y/n giggles.

Shaking her head she was so happy that Y/n had Nat and Wanda as friends, they treat her good and were really amazing friends to her daughter. When she met the two red heads she was taken back by watching their dynamic and how well Y/n fit in so perfectly.

“Natasha’s reaction was perfectly justifiable” she points out.

“That’s true but she could have calmed down, I was there and we all know I’m great at talking to animals and calming them down” she smirks.

“Very true angel, listen…please don’t be mad-“

“No…dad you both promised!”

“It wasn’t our idea angel but George’s and Winnie’s, darling they’ve missed you-“

“A party dad? I suck at those things”

“It’s not a party but more like a get together-“

“So a party. Uncle George and Aunt Winnie don’t do “get togethers” dad and you know that”

“Well it’s happening and you’re going to enjoy it, you’re going to smile and have a good time and you’ll thank George and Winnie afterwards” Howard speaks.

“Yes Master”

“Good boy”

“Treat?”

“Not yet”

“Do you want me to give you my paw?”

“Mar our dog talks way too much, I told you we should have gone with a German shepherd and not a Chihuahua”

“Oi I’m not a Chihuahua! If I had to be a dog I probably would be basset hound…”

“Why?”

“They’re so cute and lazy and small”

Howard lets out a booming laugh as he nods, Y/n joins in whilst Maria looks at the driver who’s trying not to laugh “would you be a dear and crash the car for me please?”

“No don’t, I can’t get a treat if I’m dead” Y/n laughs out causing Howard to laugh even louder.

“‘A get together’ yeah alright dad! It’s like the whole world is here” she scoffs.

“Don’t be so dramatic, come on and don’t forget to smile”

Half of the people who had showed up she didn’t even know and the ones she did were either nice to her or people who helped to torment her but doing as her father said she smiled at everyone, saying her thanks when people congratulated her for graduating school.

“My sweetie!” Winnie’s loud voice came from across the garden, Y/n watched at the woman who she’s missed dearly nearly runs over to her.

“Miss Winnie, I’ve missed you!” She wraps her arms around her third mother figure.

“I’ve missed you too my sweet baby, oh look at you! All so grown up and so bloody beautiful, where’s that’s little girl who broke my heart all them years ago gone?”

“I killed her and buried her in the backyard but don’t tell my momma or dada that” she giggled.

“I won’t don’t worry your secrets safe with me” Winnie winked.

“Is-is that…no I don’t believe my eyes. It’s my darling girl!” George shouts ignoring all the looks that get thrown his way as he makes his way over to Y/n and Winnie.

“Hi Mr George”

“Oh my, you’re as beautiful as ever!” He picks her up and spins her around just as he did when she was little “oof and your heavier”

“George!” Winnie scolds.

“What have they been feeding you at that school hey missy?” He asks completely ignoring his wife.

“Humans from all over the world” she winks with a shoulder shrug.

“Are they nice? I’ve been thinking of getting into eating humans” 

“Honestly? I recommend that you should, tasty” she laughs, George and Winnie joining in.

“On a serious note though, I’ve missed you darling and I’m so proud of you. And please remember I love you, you’ve always been our daughter too. Oh God I’m so fucking proud of you” George says with tears in his eyes as he remembers the first day he met her, how small and scruffy she was, how scared she look. After what that monster did to her he was scared that she wasn’t going to survive. It’s true though, he and Winnie saw her as their daughter before Howard and Maria adopted her.

“I love you both too and I will forever be indebted to you both”

“Nonsense silly girl” Winnie says.

“Are you trying to steal my daughter away?” Howard laughs as he walks over.

“Obviously, the plan is to knock you and Maria out and I’m going to kidnap this one” George says.

Howard laughs which has George turning to Y/n “he thinks I’m joking, but I’m not”

“Don’t wind him up” she laughs.

She’s oblivious to the conversation that’s happening on the other side of the garden as she laughs with her parents and surrogate parents.

“My sweetie!” He hears his mother call out and he knows instantly that Y/n has arrived as he looks in the direction his mother is making her way over to his breath gets caught in his throat.

His Bunny.

His Bunny all grown up.

His Bunny all grown up and looking just as beautiful as she looked the last time he saw her.

There hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where he hadn’t regretted this shit that spewed out of his mouth that day. When he found out that she had left it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on a million times.

Of course he was never friends with her out of pity, she was easy to talk to, she made him laugh, she was his best friend, his person.

His soulmate as Winnie would say.

But every day he reminded himself that he only had himself to blame.

“I-is that…” Steve questioned with his eyes trained on his best friend who he hasn’t seen in three years.

“Bunny” Bucky nods.

“Holy shit she’s gorgeous” Sam says.

“Yeah she is” Bucky agrees.

“When are you going to talk to her?” Steve asks.

“I’m not. She’s not going to want to talk to me, not after what I said the last time we saw each other”

“That was three years ago Buck, it’s Y/n she’s no doubt forgiven you”

“I doubt it. Steve you have no idea how sad she looked man”

“Bro just go and talk to her” Sam says taking a sip of his beer.

“I-I can’t, are you two going to talk to her?”

“Yeah…well I was going to wait for her reaction with you first before making my way over to her” Steve admits.

“Same if she hits you then I’m staying away but if she doesn’t then yeah of course I’ll talk to her”

“Cheers” Bucky grumbles his eyes refusing to move away from her.

They all watch as she laughs with her parents and Bucky’s, they don’t stop the smile from forming onto their lips as they watch their best friend.

They all carried their own guilt from three years ago and all silently hope that she forgives them for what happened.

“Buck go and talk to her” Steve tries to encourage his friend mainly so he could then talk to her.

“Yeah…yeah I’m going to do it” he puts his drink down on the table before straightening his shirt out.

Just as he was about to take that first step closer to his Bunny he stutters when he sees a tall bulky guy with blonde hair walk up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, watching as she squeals turning around in the guys hold.

He watches as she places her hands on either side of his face and places her lips to his.

He’s pretty certain that he hears his heart breaking.

“Buck…”

“Huh? Yeah?”

“A-are you alright?”

“I’m fine, so she’s got a boyfriend that’s cool” he turns to pick his drink back up and downs it in one gulp. “Do-do you think she’s happy?”

Steve and Sam share a look before answering. “We’re not sure pal”

“I hope she is, t-that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.”

They continue to watch as Y/n introduces the guy to Bucky’s parents and they can tell instantly that Winnie’s smile is fake, she’s always been the one rooting for Y/n and James to get together. The smile on Y/n’s face is as big as it ever was as she stares up at the guy.

“How do you think they met?” Bucky asks.

“God knows, but as long as he treats her right that’s all that matters really.” Sam says eyeing Bucky cautiously.

“I hope so”

As the party winds down the boys not barely moving apart from Sam as he raids the table with all the food on it. They watch as the blonde guy leaves, not without having a make out session with Y/n.

As the guests start leaving Bucky’s quick to notice that Y/n is no longer around and when George stumbles over to the boys he finds out that Y/n’s disappeared and wonders if they had seen her, they all shake their heads.

“I think I might know where she is, hold on”

He makes his way down to the bottom of the garden and climbs over the fence, really hoping he was right.

“Bunny” he whispers when he sees her sitting on the ground in the spot they claimed as theirs, the same spot he first laid eyes on her when he was just seven years old.

“Hi James” she whispers back keeping her back to him.

“C-can I sit next to you?”

“Sure”

For the first time since the two have known each other they sit side by side in uncomfortable silence. It pains the both of them that this is how it’s come down to this.

But unfortunately it had.

“So-um-how are you?” Bucky asked as he stumbled over his words.

“I’m good, what about you?”

“Good, that’s good. I-I’ve missed you Bunny” he admits, his heart squeezing when he sees her flinching.

“Oh”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I just don’t know why you would have missed me when you didn’t want me to be your friend anymore or ever”

“I didn’t mean it Bun I swear. I was angry an-and I took it out on you, I’ve regretted it ever since”

“Why was you angry? I’m the one that had my back exposed to the whole school and the three people who were my only friends, the only people I trusted more than anything didn’t try and stop it or-or even try and help me. You had no right in being angry James” he hates how she doesn’t raise her voice and hates that she calls him James.

“I know and I’m sorry Y/n I really am”

“It’s okay I guess.”

“No it’s not! None of the shit I said or didn’t do was okay, you’re my best friend Bun and I should have stuck up for you. I shouldn’t have said I chose Dot over you because you always came first no matter what”

“It’s okay because it doesn’t matter anymore, I got over it”

“Over it or over me?”

“Honestly? Both”

Bucky released a choking sob at her admission, she had gotten over him and he didn’t know what to do. “Bun-“

“You shouldn’t call me that James, don’t want to upset your girlfriend”

“I-I don’t have a girlfriend”

“What happened with Dot?”

“She-I walked in on her having sex with Brock”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she said it was a one time thing but he said they’d been at it for months so…”

“I’m sorry, I never liked her”

“Did you even know her?”

“No…what kind of name is Dot anyway?”

“It’s short for Dolores” he laughed.

“Stupid name for a stupid girl. How long were you two dating for?”

“A year, actually walked in on them the day after our one year anniversary”

“That’s cold”

“Yeah. What about you? Lover boy back there” he watches as her cheeks start to turn red and a shy smile on her lips, his heart pounds loudly in his chest at the sight.

“His names Pietro, w-we’ve been dating for five months now”

“How did you two meet?”

“He’s actually my best friends twin brother, we met when her family came up to see Wanda and she introduced us and yeah, he asked me out on a date and then another and another then he asked me out”

“Does he make you happy?”

“He does, well when he’s not talking with his mouth full” she giggled, and for the first time in over three years she looks up at him. Breath gets caught in her throat as he’s looking just as beautiful as he looked the last time she saw him.

“I’m glad, not about the food in mouth when he talks thing but I’m glad he makes you happy”

Not knowing how to reply they fell back into silence but this time it was comfortable.

Y/n was the first one to break the silence “do you know if anyone lives in my old house?”

“No one wanted to move in after…you know”

“Oh. Have you ever been there?”

“Once, I didn’t go in or anything I just stood outside”

“When?”

“A few months after you left. I’m not sure why I did it but” Y/n stood up and held her hand out for James to take and helped him stand, pulling her hand away from his once he was stood up she started to walk in the direction of her old home.

“Come on slow pokes” she called over her shoulder.

“Y/n are you sure about this?”

“My therapist said that it might help me to be able to finally move on”

“You’re in therapy?”

“Yeah, mom said it might help after what I did”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I tried to kill myself” she shrugged.

As she carried on walking she hadn’t realised that Bucky had stopped. She had tried to end her life and no one told him. Bucky had lost her as his friend and nearly lost her in this world completely and no one told him.

“Ducky?”

His heart stopped at that name.

“Duck? Come on we’re not that far now”

“Y-you called me Ducky”

“Well yeah that’s your name isn’t it?” She smirked.

“Bunny please don’t joke about this. You called me Ducky even though we’re not friends anymore”

“You’ll always be Ducky to me James. And who said we’re not friends anymore?”

“We-we aren’t?”

“Nope, we said we’d be friends forever and forever hasn’t ended yet so therefore our friendship is still intact, come”

“B-but what I said”

“It’s in the past”

“Can we go back to being Bunny and Ducky again?”

“Well of course, that’s if you actually did want to be my friend and not just doing it out of pit-“

A loud squeal echoed through the woods as Bucky charged at her picking her up as if she weighed nothing and spun her around. “I never meant what I said Bun never not for one second, please forgive me and I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you”

“Buy me an ice cream and all is forgiven”

Laughing he puts her down slowly and nods “I can do that. Bun”

“Yeah”

“Yo-you tried to kill yourself?”

“Yeah, it was about a year ago”

“Why did you try and do it? Why wasn’t I told?”

“I was in a dark place Duck, remember my special place?-“ she taps the side of her head and watches as he nods “-well it wasn’t special anymore and-well I don’t want to get in to it but it got bad so I wanted to end it”

Rolling her sleeves up she showed Bucky the two angry long scars on her arms, he slowly reached out and gently glided a finger down the scars. “Nat found me in the bathroom and screamed out for Wanda who went and got a teacher, Mr Walters came running and picked me up rushed me to the schools nurse and I was taken to the hospital when an ambulance arrived. My parents were called and I begged them not to tell anyone that included your parents Ducky, they don’t know.”

“Bunny…”

“I’m okay now though, yeah I have bad days still but it’s not as bad as it had been and Dr Cho is incredible, she’s so sweet and she’s never once judged me about anything and she makes me laugh, oh and she always has sweets!”

“I should have been with you Bun, I’m so sorry I let you down”

“Hey none of that! It’s not your fault at all, mental health is a bitch-shit-fuck-please don’t tell momma I swore!”

“You still don’t swear?” Bucky laughs.

“No momma says it’s unladylike”

“You? A lady?” He has to stop walking and bends over with laughter.

“Oh shut up! I could be a lady”

“Never!”

Y/n knows it’s true herself but that was beside the point.

“Shut up. Come on I need your support to get this over and done with”

“I’m coming Bun, are you sure you want me here with you?”

“Always”

The rest of the walk was done in silence and before she realises she’s standing in front on the wired fence surrounding her old home. Looking at Bucky she musters a smile that he knows is fake and presses down on the fence and climbs over.

Waiting for Bucky to do the same she stares at the slowly decaying building that’s haunted her nightmares since she was seven years old. The ivy wraps itself around the house, windows are smashed from either Mother Nature, kids playing in the woods or animals. For some reason the building looks just like it’s supposed to - a building. She feels quite silly for letting it terrorise her dreams now that she’s standing in front of it, it doesn’t seem so scary now.

“Bun, we don’t have to go in if you don’t want to” Bucky’s gentle voice came from next to her.

“No I’ve got to, I’ve got to put the monster to bed once and for all. It’s-it-can we just wait out here for a few minutes, please?”

“Of course Bun. I’m right here”

A few minutes go by and she finally puts one foot out in front of the other, taking slow steps towards the place she once called home a very long time ago now. Her chest starts to feel tighter as she got closer to her nightmare.

Pushing the door open Bucky stepped up first knocking the cobwebs out of the way before moving back to where he was before.

“Thanks” she whispered.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. She chanted softly to herself as she forced her feet to move forward.

It was weird. As she walked further into the cabin she saw the small dinning table laying on its side, the two chairs broken and the small dingy couch still in the same spot as they were that night her father nearly killed her.

The floorboards creaked under their feet as they moved around the place.

“Th-this is where it happened” she whispers to Bucky as they stand in the middle of the room.

“Bun-“

“That’s my blood Duck” she points to the faded blood stains on the floor.

“Bun-“

“It’s creepy isn’t it? I laid right there and was on my way to play with angels before the cops showed up and now my blood is stained into the wood”

“Bun look at me, come on Bun look at me. Good, it’s okay. It’s all okay”

“I-I know it’s just creepy isn’t it?”

“Yeah, yeah it is”

“Can I show you my room?”

“Okay”

Walking down the hallway she comes to a stop in front of the first door on the right and she starts to push the wooden door open, both wincing as the hinges squeak.

“Nothings changed in here ah” Y/n moves over to the tiny desk her mama had gotten her she smiles “look…”

“It’s a stick Bun”

“Ah nope it’s not any old stick Ducky, it’s the stick you picked up the second time we met”

“What? Really, you kept it?”

“Of course aha. Hey can you help me move this?”

“Sure”

They move the desk - well Bucky did whilst Y/n stands there and watches - Y/n thanks him before kneeling down on the floor and started to lift up the floorboard smiling in victory when she sees the metal tin her mama had put there when she was five.

“What is it?”

“This, this has my toys that my mama hid so that he wouldn’t break them” she sits with her legs crossed and smiles up at Bucky as he sits across from her.

“Toys?”

“Yeah, but not any old toys Duck, no these are animal toys-look” she groans as she pulls the lid open “this is a giraffe, this is a sheep? no a goat, and an elephant-“ she lists off all the animals in the box as she blindly hands them over to Bucky who’s sitting there with his eyes fixed on her, the way her smile lights up makes his heart tingle, the way she sounds so happy brings a smile to his face. It had been so long since her saw her shine so brightly.

“And here’s a photo of me and mama”

Taking the photo his eyes bounce from the photo to her, it was the first time since he was either eight or nine that he’d seen a photo of his Bunnies mom “you look just like her”

“No, she’s beautiful”

“Exactly.” He smiles when her cheeks start to go red. “Hey do you have anything of your mamas?”

“Just photos” she shrugs.

“Come” he helps her put all the toy animals back in the tin and stands, helping her raise too he takes her hand and asks “is this her room?”

“Yeah why?”

“Let’s see if there’s anything of hers still here so you can have them”

“Duck…”

“It’s okay Bunny” he opens the door instantly shutting it before placing his body in front of the door.

“James?”

“I-I-we can’t go in there Bun”

“I know. Is there still blood?”

“You know?”

“Yeah, that’s the reason why he nearly killed me that night. I tried to find my mama and went into her room and well, yeah”

“Oh Bun”

“It’s okay, I want to go in it might help me feel closer to my mama if I have something of hers”

“Just don’t look at the bed okay baby”

Baby. Her heart shouldn’t stutter the way it did.

“Okay”

Bucky opens the door making his way over to the bed to flip the quilt over so she doesn’t have to see the stains, again.

“She always wore this jumper, I put it on once and tripped over when I tried to walk” she giggles.

“Take it, what about this?” Bucky hold up a long skirt that had patterns on it.

“In the summer she would pull up over her chest so it was like a dress and look it has pockets!”

“Take?”

“Absolutely”

Over the course of twenty minutes Bucky had found a small suitcase and they filled it with all the clothes she wanted to take.

“Bun is this box your mamas?”

“Yeah it’s where her jewels lived.” Laughing when Bucky cocks his eyebrow up “I couldn’t say jewellery so mama said jewels and told me that the box was their home”

“Fair enough, would you like to take it?”

“Okay”

By the time they had finished it was close to being pitch black in the cabin. “Come on Duck its getting too dark to see anything now”

“Okay” as they moved their way through the cabin laughing at each other when the other had bumped into something, getting to the door Bucky stopped “wait a second Bun”

“Duck-“

“Gimme a second Bun”

He goes back inside and she giggles when she hears him say “ow” a few minutes he comes back out smiling whilst holding up the metal tin that housed her toy animals.

“Couldn’t forget this now could we?”

“Y/n? Where the hell have you been?”

“My old house…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah Ducky helped me get things that was my mamas”

“Ducky?” Both sets of parents say in unison.

“Yeah, we’re friends again”

Their dads, Bucky and Y/n all flinch when Maria and Winnie start screaming in joy, hugging each other whilst they jump around in a circle.

“Don’t even think about it George” Howard warns his longest friend as George slinks over to him.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about Howie”

“Don’t call me that!”

Bucky takes Y/n’s hand in his and slowly backs up whilst their dads argue.

“That was embarrassing” he laughs.

“It’s cute. Maybe we’ll be like that with our kids one day”

“W-what?” Bucky splutters, cheeks going bright red.

“N-no I mean me and my husband and you with your wife…you know?”

Before Bucky could reply they heard Sam’s voice from the doorway.

“Y/n…”

“Hi Sammy, hi Stevie”

Bucky watches as his three best friends reunite with each other, he has to admit that her comment about kids made his stomach flutter then drop when she mentions about her imaginary husband and his imaginary wife.

For the first time in three years Bucky felt whole once again.

<Previous   Next>

Tags: @cjand10 @unaxv @mcira @bisexualnikkisixx @kneelforloki @kandis-mom @sagebarness @sandyruston @scott-loki-barnes @nikkivillar @saltedcoffeescotch @scentedharmonymiracle @examinarei @sarcastickiddo @sadboiabby @unholyhuntress @8crazy-freak8 @ijustneedpopcorn @moonbeampillgoth @imcinnamoons @elmo-1066 @violetwinterwidow01 @suz7days @adoredire @ozwriterchick @randomrosie01 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @emerald-writes @justafangir1 @sibsteria @spencerreidisagorgman @sapphirebarnes @bruher @hawkinsavclub1983 @onlyonetifosi @parisadams @unabashedstarlightcrown @nash-dara @allofffmypeaches @loki-laufeyson68 @behindmygreyeyes @missvelvetsstuff @pigeonmama @lizslibrary @gloriouspurpose01

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barns x y/n #Through The Years #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #marvel fic #Bucky Barnes series #Bucky Barnes angst #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes fluff #James Barnes #james barnes x you #Bucky series #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes friends to lovers

[lainsshop]

I’m Your Man ୨ৎ

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Tags: angst(?), established relationship, out of character(?) n probably more..

Song: I’m Your Man - Mitski

A/N: i really don’t know about this one.. give me your thoughts tho!

Alastor is known as a huge narcissist, sure but you were the only one who got to see the “real” him, not only the real murderous side of him but also the soft spot he has for you. You made him feel.. weak?

Ever since you two got together, he view you as you were apart of him like an accessory but also much more than that, his lover. He absolutely adored you, you really accepted his flaw self even if he doesn’t admit he doesn’t have flaws.

He never wanted to admit to so many things cause he believes one second of him showing his weak self will make his enemies aware of that and it will put him and yourself in even more danger.

You were also the only one who got to see him in a vulnerable state, which is rare to be honest. Maybe he doesn’t wanna worry you, he really doesn’t but every time he’s in that state he would always come to you and you will listen to his words.

“You’re an angel, I’m a dog,” He started to slowly say as you two were in the hotels library. The door was locked, the sound of rain and fire cracking could be heard and a sweet slow tune next to you as you play with his hair and ears carefully.

“… or your dog and I’m your man.” There was times were he gets.. poetic in some way. Luckily, you knew what the meaning of his words meant.

He didn’t looked at you in the eyes. “You believe me like a God,” He continued. “I’ll destroy you like I am-” Oh, he could. He could easily hurt you in a second, he doesn’t tho. You being so near to him is like a risk to both of you cause he never hesitates to do anything. Like that night..

“I’m sorry I’m the one you love..” You see, you two met when you were alive, you were a lil bit younger than him by that time and he involved you into his weird habits like killing people, cannibalism, so much more and then your death..

Deep down, he blamed himself for that. That night, he took you into the woods to hide a body, usually it went well but then you guys got mistaken as a deer and the hunter got you first.. he looked at you dead body and then- he woke up in hell.

He couldn’t even process what happened in that exact moment so when he appeared in hell, he wasn’t surprised at all but then he remembered you. He genuinely thought you went to heaven but then again.. you helped him so he looked around.

“No one will ever love me like you again, my dear,” He finally looked at you as he grabbed you hand and gave it a small kiss. “So when you leave me, I should die.. I deserve it, don’t I?”

You froze a bit at that. You looked at him with a surprised, shocked and worried expression. “Al-” “I can feel it gettin’ near like flashlights comin’..” You wanted to tell him how much you meant you him, how even if he’s not the affectionate type or how much of a bad he is, you still loved him ever since the day you met but-

“One day, you’ll figure me out..” There was apart him that you really didn’t knew and he feared that. He feared that one day you’ll know more about him, more deeper about him and leave him. You knew his murderous way, yes but do you actually?

“I’ll meet judgement by the hounds,” A silent scratchy static could be heard as he said the last word. He was still smiling as he spoke.

“You always gave me love, you were never to blame after all, mon ange..” He looked at you with a bit of sad soft eyes as he cups your cheek and his thumb strokes your under eye.

The sudden sound of dogs start to appear outside in the rain. You two looked at each other as you had watery eyes trying not to get emotional or anything. There was silence between you two until-

“You believe me like a God-” A tear fell down your cheek. You suddenly hug him, not too tight, just enough to show him that you cared about him and you didn’t care how he really is.

He started to caress your hair. “I’ll betray you like a man.”

© LAINSSHOP 2024

#alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Dj Got Us Fallin' In Love

content: leo valdez x daughter of apollo! reader warning: language, cringey ass songs for humor, kissing (ewwwwww major ick bro wtf barfing as we speak-) author's note: see this is what happens when I try to take a break from writing…I end of writing. I am not ashamed, I’m just a girl in the world who has homework she should do but instead wrong fanfics 🤪🤪🤪 ANYWAYS this is so painfully sad at times but also really funny in my opinion. Also I will not accept negative judgement on the songs I didn’t have brain power to super customize them so this is what we get.

y/n was sick of the fighting. they’d all been on the argo ii together for far too long and it came out in petty fights and arguments. y/n was willing to leave it alone until frank, who managed to be the only person to stay out of the petty fights, got pulled into an argument with piper over socks…yeah, socks, you heard me right. to say the daughter of apollo was on the verge of pulling her hair out would be a lie, based on the clumps of hair that went down the drain of her shower. she was going to fix this and she knew just how to do that.

“hey, leo, where’s the speaker you made a few weeks ago?” she asked, peeking her head into the engine room. without looking at her or saying anything, he jabbed his finger towards the corner, where the bronze speaker was nuzzled. she frowned but went and picked it up. y/n went to leave but stopped at the door, turning towards the boy who still had yet to say anything or look at her.

“leo-”

“y/n, i really don’t want to snap at you right now but i am not in the mood. like, at all. leave…please,” he huffed out before forcing his words to sound calmer and not so snipped. he wasn’t lying, he really didn’t want to be mad at her too.

“okay, okay, i get it,” y/n whispered back, leaving like he asked. as she walked away, she felt all that much more confident in her decision. now leo, the boy that’s her best friend (and crush but shh lets not talk about that), was getting pissy with her too? nope, all this pettiness was ending tonight.

Following another awkward dinner, with people bitterly asking for the passing of salt or pepper, y/n volunteered for the first night shift. no one argued - at least not with her anyways. there were definitely snide comments made to others as they went to their rooms. maybe an hour had passed since the hellish dinner before alarms started ringing through the boat, a sure sign that something was happening on the deck. where y/n was…alone. everyone scrambled out of their rooms, still in their pajamas and raced up the stairs. leo went to the helm, turning the alarms off and frowning at the lack of a daughter of apollo.

“where’s y/n?” he asked, worry and panic growing in the pit of his stomach at the lack of response. “hey, where’s y/n-”

so we back in the club with our bodies rockin' from side to side side, side to side, uh

“is- is that ‘dj got us fallin in love’ by usher?” percy asked as the music blared from somewhere, everyone confused as the pounding club music continued to play.

“i’m sick of the all fighting. absolutely sick of it. it’s over the pettiest shit and there is no point in it. so, i’m fixing it. right here, right now,” the daughter of apollo called, appearing from behind a pole and approaching the group. leo huffed, glaring at the girl for freaking him out. Though, he couldn’t stop the smile from taking over his lips at the thought that she figured to fix the group dynamic with usher.

“we’re dancing out all this bad energy. if my dad was right about anything, it’s music. c’mon,” she mused, smiling at the group, which didn’t budge. if anything, the seven pajama-clad demigods moved closer together to form a barricade of non-dancing people. at least it was the most unifying thing they'd done in weeks.

“fine. i’ll dance by myself. you’ll all break eventually,” the daughter of apollo hummed, a knowing smirk on her face as she moved in front of them. leo took one look at her face and knew within thirty minutes they’d all be dancing. but he refused to be the first one to break. the ruthless mocking from piper over his crush was not worth it.

“let me remind you all, you’ve all told me your favorite songs, those cringy songs that you love that you don’t want people to know you love. those songs that just, oh, i dunno, make you dance,” she taunted, giving them all one last chance to give in. the group shared a nervous glance but still didn't budge.

"have it your way," the girl added in a sing-songy voice, bouncing over to the speaker and hiding what song she picked next until it played loudly for all of them.

it's so crazy right now most incredibly, it's ya girl, b (yes) it's ya boy, young you ready? uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh, no, no (ow)

"shit."

leo heard it from somewhere to his left but couldn't exactly pinpoint who said it. everyone was glancing around as y/n subtly dancing in front of them, not yet pointing out who it was. she had this way of dancing casually but leo was hypnotized, his knee jerking to join her but he held strong.

"when i talk to my friends so quietly. who he think he is? look at what you did to me. tennis shoes, don't even need to buy a new dress. if you ain't there, ain't nobody else to impress," y/n sang along, making a face as she mixed up some of the lyrics. but, leo knew she never missed lyrics and that it was all a ploy to-

"those aren't the words!" annabeth huffed before slapping a hand over her lips, realizing she'd completely outed herself. laughs flew through the group as she shrugged her shoulders before pushing her way out of the group with a smile, joining the daughter of apollo with a giggle. now it was the two of them, dancing sloppily and laughing. leo figured the lovestruck look on percy's face matched his own.

"one down, six more to go!" y/n cheered as she moved to change the song once more, putting a few on queue before joining annabeth to just wiggle about while they waited.

i hopped off the plane at lax with a dream and my cardigan welcome to the land of fame excess (woah) am i gonna fit in?

"oh, gods."

leo knew who it was this time, smirking as he looked over at piper, who nervously glanced up at leo before subtly shoving him away. y/n and annabeth were going crazy by themselves, dancing themselves out of the breath. during the second verse, they approached the daughter of aphrodite, who finally gave in with a laugh and joined the other two girls. during the chorus, when they'd 'move their hips,' leo had to look away every time, in fear he'd have a, er...problem down under. if you get what I mean.

now, with two down, the group was growing more casual. there was the tapping of feet and the sharing of jokes. all bitterness was gone, people who would have slit each others throats fifteen minutes ago now best buds again. before leo could think about it more, the song changed again.

yeah, i'm out that brooklyn, now i'm down in tribeca right next to de niro, but i’ll be hood forever i’m the new sinatra, and since i made it here i can make it anywhere, yeah, they love me everywhere i used to cop in harlem – hola, my dominicanos (dinero!)

"that's me, i have no shame!" percy instant cheered, breaking formation and joining the girls. they laughed at him, happily bringing him into the group and then trying to coordinate a dance but it simply wasn't working.

"you should have some shame!" leo called back and percy shot him a glare as he spun annabeth around.

"we haven't heard yours yet, repair boy, we'll see who should be ashamed."

an hour ago and that sentence would have sent leo into a fireball of rage but partnered with the good vibes and the son of the sea gods smile, leo couldn't help but laugh.

kelly, can you handle this? michelle, can you handle this? beyoncé, can you handle this? i don't think they can handle this!

out of the corner of his eye, he saw frank hang his head as a blush settled over his cheeks. hazel looked up at him with an amused smile, clearly in on the joke. frank just shook his head and moved forwards, cheers coming from the dancing group. leo caught y/n's eyes, shaking his head at her. she just smiled brightly at him before piper spun her, forcing her eyes off the boy.

it's hot in, so hot in here so hot in… (ah) oh! want a little bit of (uh, uh), and a little bit of (uh, uh) just a little bit of, just a little bit of just a little bit of, just a little bit of i was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious (Uh)

leo laughed, shaking his head as the remaining people, jason and hazel, instantly darted their eyes to the boy. y/n dancing towards him, holding her hands out as she mouthed along to the words, the group dancing behind her. he shook his head more but took her hand, instantly spinning the girl and allowing her to pull him into the near mosh pit. she was basically attached him at the hip now, her hips occasionally grazing his in rhythm with the song, causing the boy to glare down at her cheekily smiling face.

no clouds in my stones let it rain, i hydroplane in the bank comin' down like the dow jones when the clouds come, we gone we roc-a-fella we fly higher than weather In g5's or better

"I like how it sounds," hazel justified as she moved into the group, y/n abandoning leo for a moment to swish and swing with the daugther of pluto for a while. jason was the last man standing, his arms crossed as he stared at the group with a small smile, all eyes on him.

"you wanna just join now, jase?" y/n offered, holding her hand out to jason only to be met with shouts of objection.

"no, no. we all had to reveal our songs, he has to, too," leo argued, taking the girl's free hand and spinning her around and back into his chest. she offered jason an embarrassed look but he just waved her off with his smile steady.

ask for money and get advice, huh ask for advice, get money twice, huh i'm from the dirty, huh, but that chico nice, ha y'all call it a moment, i call it a life one day while my light is glowin' i’ll be in my castle golden but until the gates are open i just wanna feel this moment

the whole group burst out with laughs as jason proudly waltzed his way into the mosh pit. now the music didn't matter anymore, just that they were dancing around with their friends. leo had the vague thought that this must be what prom feels like but he didn't think any of them would find out. then, ribs by lorde started to play; y/n's pick. it was a lot slower, everyone stopping to catch their breath. no one talked yet though, still enjoying the atmosphere of just dancing it out. of just being teens for the first time in...who knows how long.

slowly, as the song went on, the mosh pit started moshing again. it was just such a relatable song to them; these eight kids with the weight of the world on their shoulders, most of them for the second time. of course they just wanted to be kids again, or for the first time. the guys pretended not to notice the tears in the girl's eyes while they danced and they tried to pretend they didn't get misty eyed too.

this dream isn't feeling sweet, we're reeling through the midnight streets and i've never felt more alone, feels so scary getting old

i want 'em back, i want 'em back the minds we had, the minds we had how all the thoughts, how all the thoughts moved 'round our heads, moved 'round our heads

leo caught y/n's eyes over the dancing group, the two of them unable to pull their eyes off the other as the lyrics blared into their ears. and in that moment, jumping up and down with some of his most favorite people in the world and looking the girl he loved in the eyes, he fell a little bit more in love with the world. but more importantly, he fell more in love with her. this bubbly sunshine girl who managed to save the group from fighting themselves to death with usher.

without a second thought, he weaved his way through the group and grabbed hold of y/n, causing her to look up at him, sweaty and out of breath and with frizzy hair but a smile nonetheless. he gripped her waist before cupping her face and leaning down, smashing his lips into hers as the beat dropped. that was accidently but it felt more magical then anything. y/n's arms instantly draped over his shoulders, one of them going to rest against his chest.

and leo didn't care about the cheers from their friends or about the fact that this would end tonight and when the sun rose they’d be back to world savers instead of teens. all he cared about was her and her lips. he smiled as he pulled back, his sweaty forehead resting against hers, the girl's smile brighter than her father's sun. and it was more than enough for him.

the minds we had, the minds we had it's not enough to feel the lack i want 'em back, i want 'em back, i want 'em you're the only friend i need (you're the only friend i need) sharing beds like little kids (sharing beds like little kids) and laughing 'til our ribs get tough (laughing 'til our ribs get tough) but that will never be enough (but that will never be enough)

author’s note cont. : tbh, cried a little. They’re just kids. Like, literally children. Let them be kids THEYVE EARNED IT GOOD LORD BABY JESUS-

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ #heroes of olympus x reader #hoo #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #pjo #leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo fandom #jason grace #piper mclean #hazel levesque #frank zhang #annabeth chase

[k-dokja]

Pretty.

— Reader is a wee bit strange, Riddle has a teensy attachment issue. Female reader, has been with Riddle since their younger days. Also written like a tangent I haven’t reread the thing don’t make me

Riddle is pretty.

You remember thinking that one morning when you sit next to him in class. You can’t focus because last night you’ve been staying up late to study and now you can’t perceive anything but the formulas and how pretty Riddle is.

His eyes sharpen with focus while he scribes down on his notes. He always has such pretty handwriting, you love to have him writing letters for you because you can preserve them forever. Riddle always grumbles but he always does as you ask.

Pretty Riddle with his stray stands of hair falling down and obscuring his vision. You reach up to push them out before he can. He looks at you in surprise, not expecting you to act this fast. Then his cheeks redden, noticing your undivided attention. He hisses, “Focus on class, I’m not helping you later if you forgot the materials.”

He returns to his work after that, pointedly ignoring you. Silly Riddle, you wouldn’t ask him to break a rule for you. It would break his heart along with every other breakable thing within his distance. You wouldn’t want him to get unnecessary grievance, not when the pressure is on his shoulder as is.

You want your Riddle to stay pretty. He’s always prettier when he’s happy.

Riddle is pretty, even with his nose and eyes red.

Bundled up in autumn clothes, he looks ready for a new school year already. But he isn’t the one leaving, you are. Your parents have been mindful enough to stay back while you say your goodbyes with Riddle. It warms your heart to have such caring people around you, even if all you can see now is Riddle.

“You better call often,” he says, adjusting your scarf for what would be the sixth time, “I’ll try to visit when I can, but if I—“

“I’ll miss you.”

His eyes widen and you think he looks prettiest then. With his cheeks crimson and his eyes glassy again, he looks away from you, trying to hold back his emotions. Before you can say anything else, he hugs you close. The force of his skinny arms are strong, stronger than anyone would expect. Except for you, because you know. You have hugged Riddle many times. Never did he do it with this ferocity, but you know it is only the intensity of his feeling.

You hug him back, relishing in the feeling of him in your arms. Your pretty Riddle with his pretty scent, you won’t have neither for a while.

“I’ll miss you, too,” he chokes out.

“I’ll think of you often,” you rub soothing circles on his back and he hugs you tighter.

“And I you.”

He pulls back after a moment then looks at you. You wonder if he’s trying to commit your face to his memories and if he worries that the pictures in his phone won’t suffice. Riddle kisses your hair, softer now after the previous outburst. Maybe he worries your parents would have judgement, but that thought is thrown out when he kisses you again.

Hard and bruising, but quick enough to not draw the looks of strangers. His lips part in shock when he retreats, not expecting himself to have pulled that stunt. “My apologies, I…”

You kiss him, on the cheek this time, even if your lips crave for his again. “Let’s meet again, soon,” you silence out any of his thoughts about regret then step away from him.

Silly Riddle, he doesn’t know how pretty he is when he looks like that. He shouldn’t let shame overwhelm him. His memories of you should only be happy, you won’t have it otherwise.

Riddle is pretty, beaming at you from across the yard and brightening when he sees you.

He has promised to visit. He always keeps his promises. Your college is not that far from his and if anything, teleportation is always an option. Never mind the specifics, all that matters is that Riddle is here and he’s happy. Happier when you tackles him with a hug, he accepts you like you’re always meant to be there in his arms.

“Riddle!”

“Hi,” he says, nose buried into the crook of your next, “it’s nice to be with you again.”

“It’s nice for me too,” you cling to him and he shows no opposition to your actions.

Pretty Riddle. Hair nice and soft, he smells prettier than he has been before. You’ve missed him, even with the calls and texts. Nothing can ever replace having him with you. “You should quit Night Raven College and be here with me.”

He laughs. He doesn’t know because you smile when you proposed the idea, but you always meant it. Meant every word when you said you want to be with him forever, meant every feeling when you professed to him.

Maybe he does and he doesn’t mind. Why else would he keep you for this long?

Riddle rarely lets go of your hand for the duration of his stay. You like the proximity, but worry that he’s afraid you might vanish if he lets you go for too long. Silly Riddle, there is no one else you’d want to be with other than him. You never want to worry him and you never stay away for long enough to make him frown.

Pretty as he is then, he’s prettier when he’s happy. You always want your Riddle the best he can be.

Riddle is pretty, on his knee and staring up at you.

You can see it in his eyes, everything you wanted from Riddle and more. Riddle would do anything for you, anything and everything. All you have to do is say yes.

The ring shines a pretty ruby red, pretty like his hair but hard where it is soft. You don’t remember what you said in answer, but Riddle has never been prettier before. When he slides the ring on your finger, all you can see is him. His mouth is moving but you can’t hear the words, you feel him holding you but you can’t sense the warmth.

All that echoes in your head is that you’ll be his, fully and completely. When people speak of you, they’ll call you with his name. Where he ends will be where you begin and it is all and everything that you want from him. Even if he doesn’t promise you a wedding, you’d want your pretty Riddle.

As long as he’s yours and happy, you care for little else. But Riddle is a stickler for rules and traditions. He’d want the wedding, the cake, the dance, and the party. Preparations take long days and long hours before anything is set in stone. You’re impatient, you want to be Riddle’s.

But you won’t voice those thoughts because he looks so happy to prepare. When he smiles at you, nought else seems to matter. Long as the outcome is inevitable, you have no reason to complain.

After all, there is only one and final ending.

Riddle is pretty, pretty in white when the bells toll.

Pretty forever and pretty for you.

#riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #fics #funnier if you think of this as my usual reader of riddle #because his pov for other fic is very much my sweet darling gf who can do no wrong :) #meanwhile her head is like :) riddle :) #riddle :) pretty riddle :) silly riddle :) silly pretty riddle :)

[haddonfieldwhore]

lowkey - damian priest

damian priest x gn!reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: langauge, drinking, implied nsfw, readers age isn’t specified but i wrote this as if they’re around rheas age so age gap warning just in case, scripted violence

after it being teased for the last few weeks on raw, you were finally going to be moving from nxt to the main roster and joining the judgment day, arguably the most powerful group in the wwe today. you were more than excited, considering that you would be in a group with your best friend rhea, as well as just some really cool, talented people. you had been friends with rhea since middle school, and had only met the guys in the group a handful of times, but you could already tell you were going to fit in well. however that didn’t mean you weren’t nervous to be making your main roster debut, tugging awkwardly at your ring gear as you stood with rhea in gorilla.

“you’re gonna do great, salem,” rhea smiled, using your ring name. your gear matched the judgment day colour scheme, black and purple with lots of chains and studs on your ring jacket. the judgement day would be going out first, and then kevin, sami, and jey would pick off the boys, and raquel would attack rhea. all you had to do was run out there and help rhea; easy enough right?

things were going smoothly, rhea and the boys wishing you luck as they passed by you on the way to the ring. damian patted you on the shoulder, and you looked up at the man who towered over you, like you were sure he did most people, standing at six foot five. you had to admit, he was incredibly handsome, his long hair and dark eyes suiting his features perfectly.

“you’re gonna do great,” he smiled, and you nodded, thankful that they all seemed to accept you into the group already.

“thanks. i’ll see you out there,” you smiled, and he gave you a fist bump with his massive hand, and headed out with the others. even though you were on opposite teams in the ring, even kevin, sami, and jey wished you luck as they passed through gorilla, as did raquel.

it felt like only 3 seconds had gone by, when in reality it had been about 2 minutes before your music kicked in, “the witching hour” by in this moment blared through the arena as one of the backstage crew members gave you your que to head down the ramp. you ran out, your anxiety not letting you look at the amount of people in the crowd as you got to the ring and slid under the bottoms rope, pulling raquel off of rhea. the two of you attacked her and chased her out of the ring, leaving just you and rhea standing there. you looked at eachother, and rhea made it seem for a second that she was going to attack you, but instead extended a hand for you to shake. you took her hand in yours, and the rest of the judgment day, who had also scared off their opponents, joined you in the ring. the moment finally sank in, and you looked at the thousands of people in the crowd, and your heart pounded in your chest, the judgment day music loud in your ears as you all exited the ring and headed up the ramp, damian and finn on either side of you with their arms over your shoulders.

once you had made it backstage, rhea stole you out of their grip, wrapping her arms around you in a hug and spinning you around, causing both of you to laugh.

“you killed it! that was great!” she yelled, and the guys agreed.

“how do you feel?” finn asked, and you took a deep breath as rhea set you back on your feet.

“i feel great! i would have been a lot more nervous if you guys weren’t out there with me, so thank you,” you admitted.

“no problem. we’re like a family, and now you’re a part of it too,” dominik said, and appreciated it more than you could say.

“priest, i think you know what time it is,” rhea smirked evilly. “it’s time to show salem how the judgment day parties.”

“say less,” damian laughed, throwing an arm over your shoulder again as they all led you out through backstage, a handful of superstars congratulating you on your debut, before you got to your cars and left the venue. you and rhea were in her car together while the guys were in another, and as much as you already loved them, you were happy to have a moment with your best friend.

rhea passed you the aux chord and you turned on ‘cyberhex’ by motionless in white, and she nodded in approval.

“so now that it’s just us, how are you feeling after your main roster debut?”

“it was amazing. i have to admit, i am a little overwhelmed, since you and the guys are such an established group, but i’m also so grateful to be joining the judgment day. i just hope they like me,” you answered.

“you mean the fans or the boys?”

“both, but i meant the boys. they all seem really cool, i don’t want to intrude on the group, you know?”

“i get it. but they love you already. if they didn’t you would know,” she laughed, and you felt slightly relieved.

“thanks rhea.”

“no problem. you have your ‘initiation’ match next week, right? against raquel?”

“yeah. i can’t believe my first solos match on raw is against her,” you said; raquel wasn’t someone that would go down without a fight.

“you can do this. i know you can, and the rest of the judgment day knows you can too,” she said, parking her car as you had arrived at the hotel.

•••

one thing was for sure; the judgment day knew how to throw a party. it had been non stop celebrations for about 4 hours when you all calmed down and decided to put on a movie. there was only a small couch and an arm chair in the hotel room you were currently in, which was finn’s room. he was in the chair, you, damian, and rhea sat on the couch, and dom was sitting on the floor in front of rhea, who occasionally played with his hair. you knew the romance between them was just a storyline, but their real life friendship was adorable. you were starting to get sleepy as it was nearing three am, and you were cuddled under a blanket from your suitcase, since the a/c in the hotel room was giving you goosebumps, and you could feel your eyes getting heavy.

as damian shifted next to you, his hand bumped against your thigh, and he muttered a soft apology under his breath. the small amount of alcohol in your system gave you some extra confidence, you took his hand in yours under the blanket and placed it back on your thigh without saying anything, your hand over his to keep it there. he shifted again so his leg was against yours, and you cuddled into his side, resting your head on his shoulder as you let yourself fall asleep.

damian shook you awake gently a little while later, and pointed to rhea and dominik asleep in the one bed, and finn passed out in the other.

“i’ll walk you to your room, unless you wanna sleep on the couch,” damian offered quietly, as not to wake anyone up. he stood up first, pulling you up off the couch by your hand, and you grabbed your bag. it wasn’t until you got into the hallway and the door locked behind you that you realized rhea had the key card to your room.

“fuck,” you mumbled, and damian turned around.

“what’s wrong?”

“rhea has the key to our room,” you replied, feeling like an idiot.

“c’mon, you can stay in my room,” he laughed at you pouting, and started walking down the hallway. when he noticed you weren’t following him, he looked back. “no funny business i promise.” you rolled your eyes playfully, but hurried after him as he led you to his room.

“what if i want there to be?” you asked quietly, as you’d caught up to him. damian looked down at you, a little surprised, before placing his hand on your lower back and pushing you gently.

“then walk faster,” he mumbled, and you smiled as you finally reached his room. he unlocked the door and let you go in first, and you noticed that there was two beds. “did you enjoy your welcome party?” damian asked, and you smiled.

“definitely. rhea wasn’t kidding when she said you guys knew how to party,” you smiled, turning towards him.

“party doesn’t have to be over, if you don’t want it to be,” he said, his voice low as he stepped closer.

“what did you have in mind?” you asked, smiling as you felt his hands rest on your waist, pulling you against him. he leaned down to kiss you deeply, and your hands rested on his chest, his arms circling around you. damian backed you up until your legs hit the end of the bed and you sat down. he backed away, staring down at you.

“are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, and you nodded, your head surprisingly clear after the few drinks you’d had; the nap had sobered you up a surprising amount. you slid off the bed and dropped to your knees in front of him, your hands resting on his thighs.

“i want to,” you assured him, and his head fell backwards as your hand slid over the front of his jeans.

“fuck,” his voice was deep as your hands fought over the buckle of his belt, damian eventually letting you undo it as his hands cradled either side of your head. “this has to stay a secret for now, okay?”

“i know,” you smiled. “it’s kinda more fun that way, isn’t it?” you asked.

“you keep surprising me,” he shook his head.

“is that a bad thing?” you asked, undoing the button on his jeans after successfully undoing his belt, and sliding the zipper down.

“definitely not.”

•••

you woke up to the feeling of someone trailing gentle kisses over your shoulder and up the side of your neck, and you murmured softly at the sensation, tickling slightly.

“good morning,” damian’s deep voice mumbled next to your ear, somehow even deeper than usual after just waking up. your legs were tangled beneath the covers, the white hotel duvet the only thing covering your bodies other than the purple love bites that were scattered across your skin.

“good morning,” you smiled, your eyes fluttering open as you rolled over to look at him.

“it’s only nine so i don’t think the others will be awake yet if we want to sneak downstairs before they wonder where we are,” he offered.

“rhea’s gonna figure out that i didn’t sleep in our room eventually. i’ll just tell her i slept in the extra bed. i have to say - this was kind of out of character for me; i don’t think she’ll expect anything as long as you cover those,” you smiled, poking one of the bite marks you had left on his shoulder.

“can do. as long as you hide those,” he pointed to the hickeys on your neck, and you laughed.

“deal. i do want breakfast though, so yes; we can head downstairs.”

“sounds good. you can shower first if you want,” he offered, and you smirked.

“you could join me.” you had no idea where your sudden boost of confidence was coming from, but you felt comfortable with him considering you barely knew him.

“i don’t know how productive that’s gonna be…” he trailed off, kissing your lips.

“is that a no?”

“that’s not what i said,” he smirked, and pulled the covers off of your bodies, dragging you towards the shower.

#damian priest #damian priest fic #damian priest x reader #damian priest imagine #wwe #wwe fic #the judgement day x reader #rhea ripley

[azulashengrottospiano]

I've been wanting to talk to you for ages and I saw you opened Fellow Honest requests-- so...🥺👉🏻👈🏻

No but seriously, if it would be alright with you, I'd like to request a small story with a really cautious reader whose despite their best judgement can't help but catch feelings for Honest<3

Once again, only if it would be ok with you, ofc!! I tried making sure this doesn't go against any of your request rules so I hope you can do this whenever you have the time/want to☺️

Really love your writing! Pls take your time<33

- 🍄

SUMMARY: fellow isn't accepting your evasiveness as an answer.

WARNINGS: none!!

COMMENTS: please feel free to stop by again anon!! i dont want people to feel like theyre not allowed to talk to me. i know im scary but im begging you, if you ever want to talk to me just shoot me an ask on anon!! thank you for being so sweet <3

Fellow must think it’s funny to make you squirm in your seat.

He circles you again, a knowing gaze pinning you to the chair as you stare at your hands and gnaw at your lip. It’s been so long now, too long now, of him interrogating you. You can’t tell him what he wants to know because it will destroy you, and yet he keeps pressing and pressing and pressing and oh dear, he really isn’t going to give this up without a fight.

“I just want to know why you’ve been so skittish lately.” he croons, voice soft as it brushes against the shell of your ear, “That’s all you have to tell me, dollface. That’s all I want to know.”

“I don’t want to tell you. I’ve told you this already.” you murmur, voice soft as your heart pitter-patters in your chest.

Why oh why did the love of your life have to come in such an evil, relentless, teasing form! It was almost as though the world was kicking you out of your comfort zone with a steel-toed boot.

You weren’t ready for what he had to offer. You weren’t ready for the adventure and danger being his lover would surely bring.

You weren’t ready to admit that all of those things were petty excuses.

“I guess I’ll have to try again tomorrow.” he sighs, as theatrical as usual.

You stare up at him with worry in your gaze as he turns his back on you. You know full well he’s got something up his sleeve, or else he won’t be so smug about your silence.

His trick comes in the form of his face inches from yours as he whips around again, grabbing the back of the chair and leaning down so his face is right in front of yours.

He stares, and your mouth is gaping like a fish out of water, and your cheeks are burning up and your breath is shaky and—

And he pulls away.

He pulls away with a smirk and a soft “gotcha” before he turns around and leaves you.

#auburn's fics <3 #twst #disney twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst ferro #twst fellow #twst ferro x reader #twst fellow x reader #fellow honest #ferro honest #fellow honest x reader #ferro honest x reader

[bvidzsoo]

Panic Switch

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Warnings: light swearing here and there, awful parenting, the use of ‘sociopath’

 Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x female reader

 Word count: 13,647

 Summary:  You descend from a famous and ancient bloodline of empaths. Since the moment you were born, your mother knew you were different than them and that you would wreak havoc. And she was right in a sense. You didn’t feel emotions like others and, thus, your judgement wasn’t always the best. You grew up being called a freak by your own family, who were afraid of you and kept their distance, never showering you with love. And then, at the age of eight, you met Xavier, who was different, considered a freak too by humans...he seemed to be a little bit like you. This quickly lead to a long lasting friendship, but was it always genuine? Or would Nevermore change everything for the two of you? Were you ready to unveil your secrets to Xavier and those around you? 

 A/N:  Ohmygod! It feels amazing to be inspired again and to be able to write. Thank you Xavier Thorpe for your existence, you brought back the artist in me, hahaha. Share your thoughts with me, I love feedback, don’t be shy! I use the term ‘sociopath’ a lot and despite doing research, I might have gotten it a tiny bit wrong. But...don’t take my head off for that, this is a work of fiction after all. I might be a little bit crusty, it’s been a while since I wrote, but damn, does it feel good! I hope you enjoy this little story! Happy reading!

                        Nevermore Academy, a place for all the misfits, or what I like to call ourselves, freaks. This school is the only place where I don’t feel out of place or left out of things. Why would I say that? Because even to my family, I am a freak. I’m different than them, and they are scared of me. I am the black sheep of the family; somebody they refuse to speak of if asked. I’m half convinced I was sent to this academy because my parents feared what I would do at a regular school. After all, following my mother, I am the first one to attend Nevermore. I have four siblings, and all of them go to regular, normal, schools in our hometown. Our abilities aren’t something obvious as we aren’t prone to kill or turn into nightmarish monsters, so, we were deemed safe to society. Well…everyone, but me. We are, what one could call, an empath. Our abilities consist of recognizing others emotions and controlling them to a certain extent. When I talk about my family, they can only feel one’s emotions when they touch them and they can only induce calmness or happiness; their manipulating techniques are restricted. But when it comes to me…imagine it like this: there are mind readers, whom are able to constantly read one’s mind, and then there I am. I am able to constantly feel the emotions of those around me. I don’t have to touch them; all I have to do is be in their vicinity and connect to their frequency. If I’m accustomed to said person, it just comes naturally to me, without having to do anything. So that means: we intersect ways twice and from then on, I’ll always know what you’re feeling. And when it comes to manipulating one’s emotions, I can induce whatever feeling I’d like to. I’m not restricted like the rest of my family is, another thing which freaks them out. Over many generations, there hasn’t been someone like me in the family. And I truly think they would’ve accepted me the way I am, if I wasn’t a sociopath. Now, that is the part which freaks them out the most. The lack of emotions I experience and the lack of empathy I feel for others, which is quite ironic, isn’t it? And to top my day, it’s Parent’s Day. The day when our families come and visit us at Nevermore.

Everyone around me was feeling excited, the emotion so intense it was almost making me nauseous. Well, everyone except Xavier, who was feeling quite miserable and yearning, as he looked at Ajax and his family, who were hugging him and talking to him animatedly. Xavier’s father wasn’t coming this year either, and as much as Xavier would say he didn’t care, you didn’t have to be an empath to see how much his absence affected him. This boy almost always felt miserable and perhaps that is why I liked to stay around him, it wasn’t a cheesy feeling and it gave me comfort. Anything negative felt better than something very positive; if my parents were to hear that, they’d probably faint on the spot, especially my mother. I glanced at Xavier, who was leaning his weight on one leg than the other one, and sighed.

“Stop fidgeting,” I snapped at him, and gripped his arm as his hands were shoved into his pockets, “You’re making me nervous.” A lie, I can’t feel anything like it.

“Sorry,” Xavier cleared his throat as his deep forest green eyes found mine, “It just makes me anxious…seeing everyone’s families. My dad said he’d come, but…I don’t know, Y/N.”

“He probably won’t come.” I deadpanned and I felt disappointment seep through Xavier, truth was always better than lying. And I knew he hated people who lied to him, especially me. Someone who he considered a friend. Still holding his arm, I offered him a smile; one which was robotic, I had learned it a long time ago, and took a lot of time to perfect it so that it would look genuine; I felt a shockwave run through my body. I always felt that when I used my abilities, and as Xavier and I gazed into each other’s eyes, I felt him slowly calming down, my power influencing him. And what was fun in it all, was that they never knew when I used my powers on them. They always thought it was them doing it, but it was always me.

“No use wasting energy on him, right?” Xavier’s smile was half assed, until I felt a strong wave of happiness wash through him. I didn’t need to see the cause of it, I was used to my family’s auras and the feel of their emotions. Xavier saw them, that’s why he got so happy suddenly. I released my grip on his arm and turned my head forward, sighing quietly to myself. My parents were smiling sweetly at everyone who greeted them, they were quite famous therapists, and my siblings, who were walking after them very disciplined, were greeting people politely. One would say my family looked very fake at that moment, but they were actually genuine. They were always happy for the people around them and it was sickening. To me at least.

“Eliza!” Xavier exclaimed as he ran up to my mother and father, who were like his parents as well; we grew up together, “Brad!”

Mom and dad engulfed Xavier into a hug and greeted him with huge smiles, asking him how he was. Sighing again, loudly, I slowly approached them, plastering my generic smile onto my lips.

“Hello,” I spoke up, earning my family’s attention, “and welcome. How was your trip?”

My father smiled at me and was the first one to pull me into a hug, he genuinely missed me. However, my mother kept her distance and plastered on the fakest smile I’ve ever seen. She wasn’t feeling disgust at the sight of me, just…disappointment, how lovely. Not that it was anything new to me.

“Long and tiring, but we got here in time.” It was my mother who answered me and my siblings stepped forward, to greet me. Kevin, the eldest of us, rarely spoke to me. For some reason, he was the most afraid of me and his cowardly amused me. Gemma, who was considered the middle child despite me being it, and was always on her phone, greeted me with a nod and then looked away, far more interested in the academy than me. She was jealous that I got to go here, while she had to go to that mundane, boring, high school. Alec, the youngest of us, ran up to me and tackled me in a hug. The top of his head barely reached my abdomen, he was still growing. Since the moment of his birth he seemed to love me the most. My parents feared he’d turn out to be another sociopath, but I knew he wouldn’t. What they didn’t know, was that he was the most empathetic out of them all, and that he felt pity towards me for the treatment I got from the rest of the family. Oh, and he kind of happened to really love me, for some unknown reason to me. Jason, who was just a year older than me, looked at me with a smug expression and chuckled. But deep inside he was just as scared as the rest of my family, and the funniest thing was, that he could never hide it from me.

“What a freaky place—” He sniffed loudly and glanced at Xavier, Jason never liked him, “Perfect for freaks like you.”

For an empath, Jason was an asshole. Xavier went to say something, but my mother quickly reprimanded Jason, only because he dared to insult Xavier as well. Her precious little boy, I know she secretly wished to have him as her son. She would’ve given me away at any time while I was growing up.

“Careful, Jason,” I let a wide, psychotic, smile spread onto my lips, “We might just devour you in a dark corner.”

Alec, despite the morbidity of my words started giggling, and my mother’s glare could’ve killed me on the spot. My father just sighed and with his eyes asked me to stop the attitude or a fight would follow, and mom would hate that. She hated her perfect little image tainted. Everything had to be perfect, and maybe that’s why she disliked me so much.

“Why don’t you show us around, sweetheart?” My father’s smile was kind as he gripped Jason’s shoulder and pulled him into his side, giving his shoulder a subtle squeeze. My mother went and crossed her arm with Xavier’s, not waiting for me as she started walking ahead of us. I rolled my eyes and held Alec’s hand as he quietly asked me to do so.

“I’ll stay here, my legs will later hurt if I walk around too much.” Gemma whined and before anyone could answer her, she took off towards a bench. Nobody minded her, she was always allowed to do whatever, spoiled brat. Fear was oozing out of Kevin and I let my eyes fall on him as the others took off, leaving us behind. Despite my dad asking me to show them around, my mother decided she’d do it herself. Not that I was surprised.

“Kevin, please” I sighed as my nose scrunched up when he jumped at the sound of my voice, “if you’re so scared, just go sit in the car or something.”

“Mom asked me not to make a scene.” He said while he scratched the back of his neck, “You know how she gets—”

“When things don’t go her way?” I scoffed and looked down at Alec, who giggled again, this little one loved to cause mischief and I might prefer him more over the rest of my siblings, “Go sit in the car, I’ll tell them you weren’t feeling well.”

A huge sigh of relief left Kevin’s lips and he showed me a small smile, suddenly his emotions changed and he was feeling grateful but incredulous at the same time, “Thank you, really, Y/N!”

For someone who was twenty-five years old, he really should’ve stopped fearing our mother a long time ago, “I’m not doing this out of kindness, I just hate the wrenched smell of the fear you’re oozing. It stinks, Kevin.”

Once these words, which some would consider harsh and hurtful just like Kevin, left my lips, disappointment seeped through him and he just turned around and walked off, sulking. I rolled my eyes before Alec and I started walking, trying to catch up with the rest of our family and Xavier.

I felt a light tug on my hand and I looked down at my little brother again, “You can actually smell the emotions we feel?!”

His exclamation and amazement amused me, I chuckled, but before I could answer him, he had more to ask, “What does my amazement smell like?!”

I acted as if I was thinking of it and just to amuse myself more, I sniffed the air around him, “Cotton candy.”

Alec’s mouth fell open and his amazement was replaced with excitement, “That’s so cool! I wish I could be like you, sis!”

Cotton candy was his favorite. And no, you don’t wish to be like me. I hummed as we finally spotted our family, who were just entering Ophelia Hall. I wish I was ready to spend the whole day with them, to feel like a freak once again. I hated acting nice, because it was fake, but around them I had no other choice. Unless I wanted mother to have a fit, which was always quite amusing. But not today, I promised dad I’d behave and show them the school had a good effect on me. Maybe it’s better if they don’t know about the attacks happening to students, I wouldn’t want to be taken to a normal school, Wednesday’s stories of them sounded horrible. I wouldn’t survive a day there.

            My parents knew from the very moment I was born that there was something wrong with me. As a baby, I would rarely laugh when they’d play with me and I would often enjoy hitting Jason, who was an easy target. Whenever Kevin was asked to watch us, I'd somehow lock him up somewhere, so he couldn’t see us and I’d take Jason’s toys away and either throw them at him or hit him with them. But really, these signs could’ve meant that I was just an evil kid and I’d behave better as I grew, but whenever my mother touched me, she felt nothing. I would stare at her blankly and when I’d feel the horror of the thought of her daughter being an abomination, a smile would spread onto my lips. After a while she just stopped touching me, too afraid of my emotions. Or lack of them. It was quite pathetic, really, how a mother was afraid of their own child. A little child, nonetheless. I was harmless, unless you’re asking Kevin and Jason. My father would try and calm my mother by saying that I would develop later and that maybe I was just masking my feelings to annoy them, but the desperation in him each time he’d grip my arm or shoulder to feel the emotions coursing through me, said otherwise. I was a lost cause in their eyes. I think the final straw for my mother was when I had turned five and they attempted to teach me how to control my powers and how to manipulate others, and I just told them that I already knew how to do all of that. The feeling of dread oozing from my mother surprised me, that’s why I still remember it, and it was then when I realized she saw me as a freak. Something she’d hate her whole life. My father gripped her arm and attempted to calm her down, but my mother realized what he was trying to do and started screaming at him that whatever I was, was dangerous to the people around me and that I was a monster. They couldn’t control me and that scared her.

“Daddy is shocked,” I remember I said with a little smile, “but you, mommy, you are scared. Horrified. Disgusted. Do you not like me?”

My mother’s lips quivered as I tauntingly pouted at her, she was on the verge of crying, “I thought you were supposed to love me. Like you love Kevin and Jason.”

“I can not love a monster like you—” My father gasped and his shock quickly turned into anger as his head snapped towards his wife.

“Eliza!” He exclaimed and looked at her with an expression telling her she shouldn’t have said that, “How can you say that?!”

“Look at her, Brad! Does she seem normal to you?!” My mother’s voice was raising and I continued to listen to them quietly, blinking from time to time. Disgust mixed with betrayal was what my mother was feeling and my father was just shocked, angry and disappointed.

“At least keep your thoughts to yourself, she’s just a child!” My father hissed at mom as he gave me a side glance and mom just shook her head in defiance. Before a big fight could erupt, I spoke up as if I was clueless.

“Mom doesn’t have to speak; I feel whatever she’s feeling. And they are never very nice, especially right now.” I said quietly and my parents looked at me both sharply, questioningly.

“I don’t have to touch people to feel emotions, like you all. I can just simply feel them, all the time.” I continued talking and shrugged. They remained quiet and I walked up to them, looking up with no expression on my face. My emotions were always simple, what I felt inside, was calmness. Numbness or nothing. That was my usual state of mind. When triggered enough, I would get angry or irritated, or some other negative feelings, but other than that, I was just…calm. When Alec was agitated as a toddler, he’d always come up to me and hold my hand. When he learned how to speak, he’d always tell me I felt so peaceful, like nobody else.

“What—what is happening?!” My mother stammered as I let them feel whatever I was feeling, numbness.

“This is what it feels like if you’re me,” I chimed up with a fake smile, I didn’t know if it was a moment asking for a smile or not, “and I can make you feel whatever I’d like you to feel.”

I barely finished talking, when my mother turned around and stormed out of the room, taking her horrendous emotions with her. My father sighed and asked me to stop channeling my emotions onto him. He took my hand next and walked me to my room and put me to sleep, reading a fairytale about some princess who got saved from a big monster by a blonde prince, who liked to draw in his spare time. The whole time he held my hand, despite being just five, I knew what he was doing. He wanted to see the roller-coaster of emotions any kid my age would feel during a story like that, and got nothing in exchange.

A few years went by and my relationship only worsened with my mom. She barely spoke to me and started running some harmless tests on me. Kevin was getting more and more scared of me, to the point where he’d start crying if I looked at him for a little too long. Jason would avoid being around me and would call me all kinds of disgusting names. It wasn’t like all of that bothered me, but I knew a decent human being shouldn’t have treated one of its own like that. It was basic knowledge. I was eight when one day dad walked into my room and told me to get dressed because we were going hiking. I wasn’t a big fan of long walks in nature; but nature, which felt just as neutral as I, was always a blessing. Living in a household where everyone’s emotions ran high was exhausting; and Gemma was only four years old, her emotions combined with mother’s would give me migraines on some days. So, after getting dressed, dad and I took off and walked for about an hour. He knew there were some animal attacks in the area, but we were safe. Father’s special power was creating a protective shield around him and whatever else he wanted to, his family lineage was a mix of mind controllers and empaths, they inherited some pretty cool abilities. Apparently, only Alec and I inherited the mind control abilities, but I decided to keep mine a secret, I knew mom would’ve had a heart attack if I were to tell them about that too. Alec could control one’s body to his liking, meanwhile I had the basic ability of moving things with my mind, but only if I concentrated hard enough on them. My father was a hunter as well, he’d seen many gruesome things in his life, yet he’d always feel so awful when he saw a dead animal. During one of his trips, he discovered an animal sliced in two and he knew it must’ve been the werewolves from the outskirts of the town. He wasn’t a big fan of said pack, but as long as they stayed away from my father’s hunting territory he remained civil with them. I was enjoying our walk as I ran up a smaller hill, but soon came to a halt. A lamb was torn in two and flies and other insects were devouring it. I felt my father’s disgust and sadness before I felt his hand on my shoulder, and he sighed. It was hard looking away from the scene. It was nothing like I had seen before. Murder was such a fascinating thing. I was snapped out of my thoughts as my father turned me around and we started walking back as he asked me to hold his hand. My mind was still on the dead animal I had seen, curious as to what happened to it, and how. Whatever killed it, was ruthless.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, sweetheart, it was terrifying and disgusting.” My dad said and I could feel he was sorry. I shrugged and looked up at him with big eyes.

“It’s fine, this is how nature works, right? Kill or get killed.”

My father chuckled, but I felt him shudder. For some reason, he was really calm and that was unlike him, “It feels inadequate to hear something like that coming from an eight-year-old girl.”

I shrugged and followed him wordlessly.

“Aren’t you scared? That we could end up like that too?” My father asked and I took a second to think before I shook my head.

“No, because daddy can protect us with his shield, can’t you?” I grinned at him, finding his power quite fascinating. He could’ve used that to his advantage in so many cases.

“Of course I can, and I would at any given moment,” He cleared his throat and I felt him looking at me, “Can daddy ask you a few questions?”

“Sure!”

“When was the last time you got angry or mad?”

“I don’t know.” My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to remember, but couldn’t.

“What about feeling sad? Your grandma died just a month ago, it was really hard on all of us.” He was right, it impacted the family harshly. Well, not me, but to them it was awful. And thus, indirectly to me as well, because they made me feel miserable with their awful feelings.

“I know, all of you were grieving and hurting, it was really bad.” I grimaced thinking back, even though sometimes they’d still feel quite depressed, “It was very overwhelming to be around you, your emotions were making me feel awful. It was very bothersome.”

“You didn’t share our emotions?”

“Other than the headaches mom would get, no.” I muttered and ducked down as we passed by a tree which’ branch was hanging really low. My father hummed as we were nearing the road.

“And happy? When did you feel happy?”

“I can’t remember.” My answer was quick and honest.

“What about love?” Suddenly the calmness disappeared and hope washed over my father, as I looked up at him. What was he hoping for? That his little daughter was suddenly cured after a walk in the woods? After seeing a poor animal sliced in two? I didn’t care. I felt nothing. It didn’t impress me or left me with trauma.

“I don’t know what love is or feels like. I physically can not feel it or experience it. Every human being has a different definition for love and they all feel it differently, so I don’t have an exact answer for you.”

My father’s eyes got a bit teary as the hope he felt was shattered by my words, “You don’t know what it feels like to love.”

“I don’t, and I never will, because I’m a monster.” Maybe it wasn’t the right time to smile, but I did as I looked at my father. And he felt disappointed, not at me, but at himself. But at least now he was convinced of what I was. An empath with no emotions of its own.

“I will teach you everything you need to know to live a seemingly normal life between humans, alright?” There was a newfound spark in my father’s eyes, so I just nodded. And quite ironically, I met Xavier Thorpe the next day as his father came to visit my parents. It was funny, how Xavier met the me, who didn’t know how to mask its true self, yet he seemed to forget the real me as we grew older and older. Maybe it was because I was a genuinely good actress. My father kept his words and taught me everything I needed to know about feelings, emotions, and how to act around people. He helped me asses a situation and react accordingly to it. He taught me how to comfort a suffering person and how to make others laugh with stupid jokes. He taught me how to have a genuine smile and what being kind and sweet to others meant. He taught me when to be sad or even mad, and what to tolerate from others and what not to. I became an excellent body language reader and knowing what people felt around me, it just turned me into a master manipulator. It was funny how everyone who didn’t know the real me loved me and wished to be around me, yet all my family wished to do was run as far away as possible if they happened to come near me. 

            The day was turning out to be horrible. So much happiness caused an almost unbearable headache. I was feeling quite moody and my family was just making it worse, especially my mother. At some point I stopped paying attention to her and would’ve been grateful to Alec, if I were able to feel that, when he kept asking questions about the academy and whatever he found cool or creepy. The statues were his favorite and he told me he would come to this academy too once he grew up, it was a secret, but he actually disliked normal schools. Too much normality for such a curious and mischievous boy like him.

Currently, it was lunch time and we were sat at a table in the courtyard, supposed to have some pleasant conversations. We were sat close to Ajax and his family and it was quite hard not to overhear his mother, who was loudly praising Ajax and his cousins for their achievements. It was funny, how I was a top-grade student, yet my mother uttered not even one word of congratulations or acknowledgement of them. Oh, but Xavier, fear not, was placed on a pedestal. He was sitting right across from me, next to my mother, of course, meanwhile I was sitting between Alec and Jason. Gemma, who was sat next to Xavier, would bat her eyelashes at him in a sensual way, and I’m pretty sure that subtle emotion I was almost feeling could’ve been called disgust, it did look disgusting and it was hard to watch. Dad sat at the head of the table and Kevin on the other side of the table as he tried to make himself small, jumping at the stupidest of sounds. He was terrified and I seriously couldn’t understand why, but it was getting so bad, that as I bit into the crispy chicken wing, I decided to put him out of his misery. He visibly loosened up as a strong wave of calmness washed over him, meanwhile my skin tingled. Alec accidentally touched my wrist and a huge grin erupted onto his face. Mother noticed and her eyebrows furrowed as I sent him a wink, she was suddenly feeling worried. Probably because she thought I was trying to corrupt her youngest.

“Alec, you shouldn’t sit so close to Y/N.” Mother’s attention was suddenly on the two of us, I closed my eyes for a second, ready for whatever was about to come. Today I was easy to irritate and I could feel my heartbeat quicken, “How many times have I reminded you to stay away from her?!”

Alec placed his fork down loudly, and pouted at mom, “Does it matter? She doesn’t even have to touch us to use her powers. I think it’s whatever how close I sit to her.”

Savage Alec was always satisfying to hear and my eyes almost widened when I felt the satisfaction oozing from my father as he subtly looked at Alec with a proud, little, grin. Sometimes I was sure even dad was fed up with mom, and rightfully so.

“Don’t talk back to me, young man.” Mom snapped as she reached forward to put some more salad onto her plate. I felt something push at my leg from underneath the table and I slowly looked up at Xavier, knowing very well it was him. Out in the sunlight, I noticed the dark bags underneath his eyes. It made his complex look even more hollow. He probably wasn’t sleeping well due to the nightmares. I raised my eyebrow at him and he motioned towards the orange juice which was closest to me. Ah, he was just thirsty. He was awfully quiet ever since we sat down to have lunch and it was because he was feeling uncomfortable and guilty. My mother kept praising him for his good grades and exceptional behavior. Then started blabbering on about his father and how they met up last weekend for a barbeque and it was then when I felt a spark of anger. How could she sit there and talk about seeing his father, when he promised he’d come and visit Xavier today, just to bail out on him. It made Xavier feel horrible and the instant hurt that washed over him, knocked me breathless. Everyone looked at me weirdly when I managed to take a deep breath and it made me realize I was hyper-fixating on Xavier’s emotions so that I wouldn’t feel my family’s, which made me experience whatever he was feeling a lot more intensely. So I stopped doing that and everyone else’s emotions hit me like a roller-coaster, making my ears ring for a second. The warm hand on my wrist and the sudden calmness which washed over me made me smirk as Alec looked at me with innocent eyes.

“You felt troubled so suddenly,” He whispered to me as he pretended to reach for a napkin, “Sorry.”

I hummed and offered him a tiny smile as Xavier handed Alec the napkin. He took it with a huge grin and Xavier chuckled, looking at me again. I raised my eyebrows at him and before he could speak up, mother opened her mouth, again.

“The Poe Cup is coming up, isn’t it?” She sounded excited.

“Yes, in about a week.” She looked at me displeased that I didn’t let her precious Xavier answer her. I smirked at her and her jaw tightened as anger flared in her. She quickly averted her attention back onto Xavier and I heard Jason scoff next to me. Oh, how much he hated Xavier, it was quite hilarious. A freak like him stealing the spotlight from attention hungry Jason, who was desperately trying to get mother’s validation? Such a tragic story. One I can only laugh at.

“And what’s that?” Gemma spoke up sounding very bored, which she actually was. But as Xavier cleared his throat, she sat up straighter and her smile got sweeter. Oh, God, there was that feeling again. Fluster and happiness that Xavier’s attention was on her once again.

“It’s a game,” Xavier’s smooth voice explained and I smiled softly, I liked listening to his voice, it often brought even more calmness to my already numb state of being, “Where we race each other on water, in boats. There are no rules and the winner gets the cup and brings it to their Hall. Bianca has been on a winning streak for a few years now, it gets quite frustrating.”

“What is Bianca?” Alec perked up curiously.

“A siren.” I answered him and he nodded eagerly, “Which makes it really easy to cheat, they are in their natural habitat.”

“How can you cheat when there are no rules, sis?” Jason asked mockingly. My family was becoming more and more irritating, isn’t it just fantastic?

“It’s about having common sense, Jason. Just because there are no rules, you shouldn’t knock your adversary out.” Xavier snapped at my brother, the two now glaring at each other. Oh, their hatred was mutual.

“If I were to play, I’d knock your head off without resentment.” Jason snickered and my grip tightened on my glass of water. I didn’t like it when he disrespected Xavier. Xavier’s jaw clenched and he masked his anger with a quiet laugh as he looked at Jason with a sudden smirk.

“I bet you wouldn’t last a minute; you’d probably get knocked out while paddling.” I snickered and shared an amused look with Xavier as my brother’s hands turned into fists. You didn’t have to be an empath to feel the anger radiating off him. Now, that eased my irritation a bit, it was quite amusing.

“I’m afraid he wouldn’t be able to even sit in the boat—”

“Now that is enough!” My mother snapped, giving me a harsh glare. She gripped Xavier’s shoulder and sent a wave of calmness over him, pissing me off. I think my limits were tested today, and now I was actually mad at them. Why wouldn’t she let Xavier feel whatever he was feeling? Let him be angry and smug, did he hurt someone with that? No. I looked into my mother’s eyes as I allowed my powers to give back Xavier’s initial feelings, body tingling, as my mother gasped. Her hand flew off Xavier’s body and his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at my mother, realizing she was trying to influence him into feeling calm. The hatred my mother felt towards me would’ve made everyone else cry, but I couldn’t care less.

“Stop controlling everyone around you, mother.” I snapped, voice harsh and mask slipping for a second as I felt that terror wash over Kevin again. The calmness I induced in him didn’t last for long, I guess, “People were made to feel. So let them feel. Xavier’s feelings were justified, Jason is an asshole and we all know it. Maybe next time you should educate him better.”

“Your attitude is disgusting—”

“And questionable. Only freaks act like that.” My voice was raising, she didn’t want to cause a scene? Fear not, mother, I’ll cause a scene for you. “You should come up with something more original, something I haven’t heard before.”

My father was feeling uncomfortable and Xavier’s anger was amplified. Maybe now is the moment I tell you how much he dislikes my mother. I wasn’t the only good actress from this table, his acting skills are quite spectacular.

“This school was supposed to make you normal.” My mother snapped and my father’s head snapped into her direction.

“Eliza.” He warned, his voice deep as he glanced at me.

“I am normal in this school.” I fired back at mom, uncaring about the desperation in my father, asking me to stop adding fuel to the fire.

“Normal!” Mom exclaimed sarcastically, and her eyes fell on a short, dark-haired girl with two braids, pale skin and blank expression, as she just passed by our table. Our eyes met for a second and we nodded at each other in a silent greeting, but it was Xavier’s emotions which irritated me more. He was head over heels for Wednesday, it was quite sickening. The way he’d perk up around her and the instant happiness he’d feel at the sight of her. His quick heartbeat would make him blush sometimes and he’d even stammer. The most disturbing thing was the dreamy look in his eyes whenever he spoke about her, it was horrible, really.

“Look at that freak. You’re just like her, if she’s not worst.” Well, she shouldn’t have brought Wednesday into this. One, I enjoyed her personality. Two, she was nothing like me. Getting compared to her felt like an insult, or at least I imagined that’s what it is, since the sudden burst of anger in me made me stand up. I slammed my hands on the table, the loud sound made Ajax and his family look at us, as many other people.

My voice was low and menacing as I glared into my mother’s dark brown eyes. Terror overtook her body and I took the chance and amplified it, making her shake. Her lips were trembling and my father’s mouth fell open in shock as he stood up as well, thinking whether to approach me or not.

“She’s nothing like me, mother. Her feelings are the strongest I’ve ever come across. Don’t compare her to a ruthless monster like me.” Xavier was on his feet now too and he didn’t hesitate like my father did in approaching me, he was by my side in a second. He didn’t touch me, he just made sure to stay incredibly close. Kevin and Jason’s fear was fueling my rage and making me channel them more onto my mother, who had tears running down her cheeks now. Gemma was scared too, but she masked it well as she tried focusing on anything else but us. And Alec, he just watched without feeling much. He was actually happy that I was standing up for myself.

“St—stop!” Mom managed to whine out between clattering teeth and I started laughing, jumping a little when Xavier finally touched me. His hand came in contact gently with my cheek and he turned me away from my mother, his forest green eyes gazing deeply into mine. His calmness actually shocked me. My eyebrows furrowed as we looked at each other. How could he remain so calm in such situation? When he saw my mask slipping? Unknowingly seeing the real me?

“Y/N, please, stop it.” It was my father pleading with me, “I don’t want to force anything on you, so stop it right now.”

“You should teach her how to behave too, father.” There was spite in my voice as I looked at my mom disgusted before tearing away from Xavier and storming off. Enid, who was the purest person I got to know, jumped up from her seat when I stormed past her and wanted to take off after me, but thankfully Wednesday stopped her when we shared a glance. I wanted to be alone. I did not want to see my family for the rest of the day. I would not be seeing them off. Xavier will do that in my place, and I know everyone would be happiest if it was him instead of me. Well, perhaps not Alec, but I didn’t really care. He’d get over it. So I went to a place where I knew nobody would disturb me since only Xavier and I knew about it. His little shed, which he uses as his art studio. I had a few hours to spend alone.

            Feet dangling off the table, I started counting the planks in the ceiling. The shed was a little wood construction. After laying down on a half empty table an hour ago, I was getting sleepy, so I started counting to keep myself awake. Around three hours passed since I left the courtyard and I was enjoying solitary. It was calm out here, the wind had picked up and it would rattle the branches of trees, leaves falling off. Chipmunks would run around from time to time, making the dry leaves crunch. Nature was quiet and after the accumulation of emotions, it was exactly what I needed. I was back to feeling numb, except this time, it felt emptier, hollower. Probably because I was drained and I needed a copious amount of sleep. The scrunching of leaves caught my attention again, but before I could think it was just another chipmunk, a wave of relief hit me. Somebody was approaching the shed, and it was none other than Xavier. He knocked on the door before he entered and he let out a long, tired, sigh.

“Hi.” He said quietly and awkwardly stood in the doorway of his own art studio. I smirked to myself, still laid out on his desk, still counting the planks.

“Don’t just stand there, it’s your own place.” I spoke up and it amused Xavier as he took slow steps, approaching me. I should’ve been disturbed by a few of his paintings, they were of a weird looking creature. I just found them really artistic and visionary. It had a different touch to it; some were foggier than others. As if he couldn’t see the monster clearly. And then there was the other painting, of Wednesday. Of course, it came as no surprise. Xavier, like I said earlier, was head over heels for her. Sickening.

“I see you’ve made yourself comfortable.” Xavier muttered as he leaned against the table, hip brushing my sock covered knee. I hummed as I felt his eyes on me, but continued counting. I was at thirty.

“Your empty table was begging me to lay down on it.” I said with a shrug and Xavier chuckled, looking around. I glanced at him and saw as his eyes stopped on the uncovered canvas. The one of Wednesday. His cheeks flared and he was suddenly embarrassed. He tried to compose himself and avoided looking at me, surely feeling my intense and teasing gaze on him.

“I assume you had seen off my parents, since you’re here now.”

“Correct,” he cleared his throat and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Alec was quite disappointed he couldn’t say bye to you.”

“He’ll live.” I shrugged and sat up, back feeling a bit numb from laying on the harsh surface of the table for so long. I ran my fingers through my long black hair and looked at Xavier. He was still embarrassed and wouldn’t look at me, pathetic.

“I see you snooped around.”

“I merely looked at what was uncovered.” Well, that was a lie. But I figured I was trying to be funny…or sarcastic. I wouldn’t know which one, but Xavier took it as funny, as he chuckled.

“Right, like that one over there.” He pointed his finger at the one canvas’ of Wednesday and turned his head to look at me. One eyebrows raised, he acted as if he was hurt that I violated his privacy, when in reality he was just embarrassed and flustered. Of course, the thought of Wednesday made him feel many ways, and they all disgusted me.

“Oh, the one with Wednesday.” I said nonchalantly and he let his hand fall and rest on my knee, “I know you’re a great artist, but it surprises me how perfectly you were able to paint each detail. The facial expression is just…the same. Impressive.”

“I did get it pretty close, didn’t I?” His voice sounded dreamy and he looked at the painting of the girl. Xavier was feeling proud and love struck again. I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand off my knee before getting off the table. Xavier’s eyes widened just a little bit when I went to stand in front of him with my arms crossed in front of my chest. My proximity surprised him.

“You did, which is concerning.” I spoke up, faking confusion and worry, “You’ve been observing her really closely, haven’t you?”

“Sometimes.” Xavier shrugged, all of a sudden feeling uncomfortable. He looked into my eyes and pursed his lips, he didn’t want to talk about it, but I wasn’t letting go of the subject yet.

“I think, all the time, is more fitting, Xavier.” I chuckled and he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “You do know that she’s not into you, right?”

Xavier gulped and remained silent as he searched my face to see if I was sincere, which I was. I plastered on a blank expression and sighed loudly, as if I was tired of this subject. Which I truly was, but what I was about to tell Xavier, I haven’t told him before. Maybe it’s because today sucked and being alone for three hours hasn’t actually helped, but I was tired and annoyed by Xavier’s blind pinning on Wednesday.

“She doesn’t like you, Xavier. At all.” I continued speaking and his eyebrows furrowed, “When she looks at you, she feels nothing. Her heartbeat doesn’t quicken, like yours. She doesn’t get flustered, like you. She’s never embarrassed thinking she’s not looking her best around you. When you compliment her, it literally leaves her cold, Xavier. Sometimes she doesn’t even hear you. She prefers not paying attention to you and she finds you nagging and annoying. Sometimes even thinks you’re too soft, so that disgusts her. Maybe you should find somebody else, who appreciates you.”

Oh, Xavier was mad now. He was scowling and standing up straight, towering over me. I knew a few people who would’ve felt scared right now, but I just remained unmoving and unblinking as I looked up into his green eyes, which were glaring down into mine.

“And maybe you shouldn’t blabber around without being asked, Y/N.” Xavier snapped at me and I rolled my eyes.

“I just want to awaken you to reality and make you realize, that liking Wednesday won’t lead you anywhere.”

“How would you know?!” Xavier’s voice raised an octave and I clenched my jaw, I didn’t like being yelled at, “Are you a seer now too?”

“That’s funny coming from you.” I fake laughed, “You seem to forget I’m an empath, who feels the emotions of others!”

My voice raised a bit too as Xavier walked away, nearing one of the paintings of the monster. He was feeling hurt and angry. Well, someone had to wake him up to reality, right? I thought it was better sooner than later. It would only get harder later on for him to move on.

“And just because you’re an empath you can predict the future now?!”

“Oh, please, Xavier! She likes Tyler! A lot!” Xavier opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked at me as if I told him I killed his puppy, he was beyond hurt. He felt betrayed, it almost made me laugh. It wasn’t even that serious, he just liked overreacting.

“Maybe you should get a life, Y/N, and stop being so obsessed with me!” I scoffed, but Xavier continued talking, “You follow me around non-stop and have no friends. Sometimes I feel like you’re forcing yourself onto me and the only reason we’re friends is because my father told me to keep you close to myself when we were eight, because you’re dangerous and you’ll hurt others.”

My eyebrows furrowed. That was weird, I knew nothing about that. I knew Xavier considered me his closest friend, but I never knew his father forced him into befriending me when we were little. Any normal person would be beyond hurt right now. I’m just surprised. Xavier has been lying to me for so many years, that’s quite impressive. Well…alright, maybe he didn’t lie, because his feelings were always genuine towards me. It’s just surprising from a command how far things got. I didn’t need friends, I was better off on my own, it was Xavier who needed me. And why did he stay around for so long if he knew I was dangerous? Maybe because I never let my mask slip around him, and made him believe I was a good person. That meant I was doing a great job. A smile spread onto my lips as dread oozed out of Xavier for the horrible things he said to me. I wasn’t affected, I didn’t actually care. If he’s had enough of me, I’ve had enough of him too.

“Y/N—” He quickly caught my hand when I went to walk by him, but I gently pulled it back and looked into his eyes, still smiling. I think this wasn’t the right moment to smile, but it was quite confusing. And it was making Xavier feel even worse. Seriously, we got here because I mentioned Wednesday, this guy needs to priorities himself. I walked off without a word, smile on my lips, leaving Xavier feeling horrible.

            Three days passed since Parent’s Day. Three days since Xavier has spoken to me. I haven’t realized before how fast friendships could end. It was a weird feeling being alone all the time. It wasn’t something which made me uncomfortable, I welcomed it with open arms, it was just something new. I would always talk about random things that came unexpectedly to my mind to Xavier, who was always next to me. Now I had no one to talk to, so I would keep them to myself. I tried talking to a few students, but they were weirded out. It didn’t take me long at all to realize that the only reason I felt normal at Nevermore was because of Xavier. He never failed to make me feel human and normal. It was peculiar, really, and made me ponder about it sometimes when I got too bored with myself. Did I miss Xavier? Well, truthfully speaking, no. Would I have missed Xavier if I were able to? Honestly speaking, probably yes. But then I would’ve also been very hurt and maybe then there would be no turning back. But if I had actual feelings, than our friendship would’ve been genuine from the very start.

I blinked and shook my head, focusing on the painted target up ahead. It was pathetic how the thought of Xavier could distract me so easily from mundane things, like archery. I loved archery. My father taught me how to use a bow and arrow when I was ten. He is a hunter, so he’s quite experienced with various weapons. Sometimes, just to feel the terror and amuse myself, when dad took me out hunting with Jason, I would point my arrow at him and pretend to release it. He’d freak out and start crying loudly, alerting the animals we were close, therefore ruining my father’s hunt. He’d always get angry at Jason and when he’d explain the reason, our father would just shake his head, ask me to stop and use his power to calm Jason down so we’d continue the hunt. Fun times those were. I took another arrow and pulled it back, zoning in on the middle of the target. The red dot. Just as I released it, I felt a presence behind me. I was concentrating so hard that I failed to notice their aura and emotions until now. Remorse. Embarrassment. Guilt. Longing.

“Hello, Xavier.” I spoke up before he could. I felt him turn surprised that I knew it was him without seeing him. I was used to the feel of him and his emotions.

“Hi,” He cleared his throat, almost hesitating in saying my name, “Y/N.”

I took another arrow and pulled it back, releasing it as it hit the red dot again. There were two days until the Poe Cup. Enid and Yoko were doing their best decorating the boat. Enid was very excited and convinced this year we’d win. Ophelia Hall. And I had to agree, I consider myself a very competitive person, therefore I’d do anything to beat the other teams. No rules meant total freedom. And I loved freedom.

“Can I help you with something?” I raised an eyebrow as I took another arrow and concentrated on the target.

“I just want to talk to you—” I released the arrow and Xavier sighed, frustrated, he wanted me to offer him my undivided attention, “Please, can you stop for a second and look at me?”

I stopped for a second and turned around, to look at him, “Just did it.” My reply was cheeky, but Xavier found it annoying as he was dying to talk to me, before I could turn back around, he grabbed my wrist to stop me. His hand was warm and his hold familiar, he was always very gentle when holding me. I cleared my throat and lowered my bow, finally placing my attention on him. Xavier smiled timidly as he looked down at the grassy ground and cleared his throat.

“Can you get more awkward?” I rolled my eyes and Xavier gave me a look, asking me to shut up.

“Listen, I—I’m a horrible friend. I’m embarrassed and I hate myself for the things I told you.” Xavier’s eyebrows furrowed and the intensity of his honesty knocked me breathless again, “I should’ve never said something like that. It’s a lie! All of it—well, not the part where my father told me to befriend you, but I actually like you a lot! It was never forced or fake! I genuinely consider you my best friend, Y/N. And if you hate me, I totally understand and I deserve it, wholeheartedly! I’m an awful person and I don’t deserve you. If you won’t speak to me ever again I totally understand you and deserve it, but I—I just want you to know, that I am very, very, very sorry. And I hope one day you can forgive me, because not having you around for the past three days felt horrible and I realized how much you mean to me and I just—I don’t know, I don’t want to lose you, even though I probably did when I said those awful things.”

I remained blank faced just to antagonize Xavier more, prolong his suffering. It was really amusing. He was trying to hide the pain, but he couldn’t. If not his emotions, his eyes said everything.

“Well,” I sighed deeply, biting my lower lip, “I guess you’re very lucky that I even listened to that whole speech of yours.”

“Yes, I am!” Xavier exclaimed and suddenly took both of my hands into his and pulled me closer, gazing deeply into my eyes. What the hell? His gorgeous forest green eyes brought peace to my mind, in a normal scenario I could said, I probably missed them. “I am aware how lucky I am, Y/N, that you are standing here, looking me in the eyes after that day, and I just—”

“Okay, seeing you miserable is—” I took a deep breath and released it slowly, eyebrows furrowing, “annoying and quite pathetic, so shut up. I’m speaking now.”

I paused to let that sink into Xavier’s mind and he nodded eagerly. A spark of hope lit up in him, but his self-hatred was still stronger.

“Yes, you are a horrible friend for the things you said. And in a different scenario, I wouldn’t forgive you. But you’ve always been honest to me and our friendship was never fake, so I can’t be mad at you. Maybe your father saw something happening in the future and that is why he advised you be my friend, which was a wise choice if he stopped something horrible from happening. You are my best friend, Xavier, and I don’t want to lose you either. So, please, stop the self-loathing and smile. I forgive you…like, actually, truly, without feeling any resentment towards you, I forgive you.” I said all of that in one breath, meaning I had to take a deep breath by the time I was finished speaking. Xavier was speechless as he watched me smile at him.

“You—forgive me? Just like that?” He was confused. God, this boy could be so annoying. Anyone else would be kissing my feet for forgiving them just like that, but he’s here, questioning me after my half assed speech.

“Yes, Xavier, I do. You’re forgiven, now let me go.” I shook my head at him in an exasperated way, “I’m here for archery.”

“Okay, but I—I’m confused.” His eyebrows furrowed and I rolled my eyes, pulling my hands out of his hold as I reached down for my bow.

“About what? Seriously, just accept what’s happened and move on with your life.” I muttered as I went to turn around, feeling a bit irritated, but Xavier stopped me.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful—”

“I know,” I snapped, glaring at him, “I can literally feel it, Xavier. Remember?”

He just rolled his eyes and ignored my comment, “I’m grateful, however, I’m concerned.”

“About what?!”

“About how easily you forgave me!” He exclaimed and a few people glanced at us, Enid too. Lovely, create a scene Xavier. It’s not as if the whole school wasn’t already talking about our falling out or me, due to my stupid family.

“Why is that concerning—nevermind, you’re giving me a headache.” Xavier tsked and pulled me in closer, leaning his head down to be eye level with me.

“Because you like me…” The silence around the two of us was deafening. I think the right expression would’ve been: what the fuck?

“Uhm,” My eyebrows furrowed, “yes, because we’re friends?”

“No, no—” Xavier felt awkward and I was just weirded out, “I mean it in a way…like…you’re into me. You know?”

“So, you’re saying I’m in love with you?” I asked confused, because I think I was actually confused. And well, amused as well.

“No! Not in love! Just…you know…infatuated or something.” I hummed and bit my lower lip, trying to stop myself from laughing. Poor Xavier, “Are you…trying not to laugh at me?!”

Xavier semi-exclaimed and I finally burst out laughing, breaking our proximity as Xavier released me, finally. He just watched dumbfounded and confused as I laughed and laughed, almost getting teary eyed. Even my belly started aching!

“So, sorry that might’ve been insensible, but—” I cleared my throat once I was done laughing and straightened my stance, “I don’t like you like that, Xavier. Nor am I infatuated with you. We are best friends, and that’s it. Cross my heart and hope to die!” I held out my pinky for him, but he really didn’t want to believe me.

“Listen, it’s fine. I don’t mind it; we’ll still remain best friends—”

“Of course, we will!” I scoffed.

“No, listen to me, Y/N.” He was very serious, “Ever since Wednesday showed up you’ve been acting jealous from time to time. You hate it when I talk about her and I really didn’t want to believe you liked me in that way at first, but after our fight...which started from Wednesday and her not liking me back—I just figured you like me and it’s hard for you to accept that I’m into someone else.”

Now, just for effect, I would’ve loved slapping Xavier over the face. But again, that would be inappropriate. However, it might’ve slapped the illusion out of him! I was beyond irritated. I wasn’t in love with him! Or infatuated! Or jealous! I literally cannot feel!

“Xavier, stop embarrassing yourself. I’m incapable of feeling anything like that.” I snapped lowly at him, irritated. His eyebrows furrowed, but he seemed to disregard my words.

“Hey, I told you it was okay—”

“No, Xavier, I’m serious! I can’t feel a thing!” I huffed and turned around grabbing an arrow more forcefully than necessary, “Now, forget whatever stupid illusion you have made yourself believe and leave me alone. I’ll have class soon and I want to enjoy archery for a little bit longer.”

“Yeah, sure,” Xavier sounded unsure, he was confused, “I’ll see you in class.”

I hummed and listened to his footsteps as he walked away. Human emotions and illusions can be hilarious…and dangerous.

            Our day ended with a thunderstorm. It was pouring down hard, the harsh wind rattling the hinges of my locked window. I didn’t have a roommate, my mother asked Principal Weems to place me in a solo room, so that I wouldn’t cause any kind of trauma to anyone from the Academy. It was quite irritating at first, but after a while I was content with staying alone. Saved me from having to deal with someone else’s emotions after a day full of just that. It offered me tranquility; therefore I could relax and thrive in the comfort of solidary. After taking a hot shower and combing my hair, I decided to sneak down into the Nightshades’ secret library and search for books which were written about empaths. I’ve been doing some research this past month, wanting to find out more about myself. I couldn’t be the only who was born like this, there certainly has to be at least one other person besides me. But so far I had been unsuccessful, and with a tired sigh, I grabbed the book which seemed most interesting and carefully, to not get caught, sneaked back up to my room. The lamp on my bedside table was the only thing illuminating my room, which wasn’t as big as Enid and Wednesday’s. You could define it the size of a bigger storage room, but it was perfect for one person. I made it feel homey, inviting, in case I had people over. I taped some green and red leaves against the walls, making it look like you were in a forest during autumn, creating the illusion of those falling on you. My desk was placed right underneath the big window. I had placed fairy lights all around it, and wall as well. A few sketches given by Xavier were taped above my bed on the wall, and I cut out quotes from books that I found interesting, or some would say, inspiring. Enid loved gifting stuffed animals to me, so in a corner of my room, I had arranged them nicely. Since I put them on display, she would always get happy when she saw them. The bookcase I had from across my bed was huge, reached from ceiling to floor and had a little bit of everything. All the books I owned, and little ornaments I gathered from around the world when I traveled with my family, and the jewelry boxes I bought not a long time ago from an antique store in Jericho. Next to it was my closet, and one of its door’s wasn’t working right, so I couldn’t fully close it. As you entered, right behind the door I had some plants which offered the room some fresh air and right next to it, in the corner, I had a dark green beanbag, placed in front of my body length mirror. Lightning struck again and illuminated my room as I finished reading the last sentence on the page. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was well past midnight, that would explain why I was seeing all the words blurry; my eyes were tired too. I sighed, closed the book and placed it on my bedside table, stretching my back, cracking a few vertebrae. Just as I reached for the lamp, to turn it off, there was a soft knock at my door. I turned towards it and pondered for a second who could be at this late hour.

“Yes?” I called out and my door was cracked open as Xavier stuck his head inside. Uneasiness and anxiety was racking through his whole being, “Come inside, Xav.”

He felt relief flooding through him as he swiftly slipped inside and closed the door, locking it. He was wearing his pajamas: grey sweatpants and a burgundy t-shirt. His hair was untied and the ends were still wet, meaning he showered before going to sleep. His eyes were a bit red and the bags still haven’t disappeared from underneath his eyes. Xavier looked very tired; he was in need of a good sleep at this point. There was another strike of lightning and Xavier jumped at the loud thunder following instantly.

“What happened to you?” I asked with furrowed eyebrows as I threw the blanket off myself. The lower temperature of the room suddenly hit me and I shivered. Wearing a tank top to bed, in the middle of autumn, probably wasn’t the best idea.

“Uh,” Xavier averted his eyes as he licked his lips, feeling a bit embarrassed, “I had a really bad—nightmare. And I couldn’t go back to sleep—not when I know that haunting creature will come back for me.”

I hummed and patted the bed next to me, asking Xavier to come and sit. He was quick as he got onto my bed, pulling the blanket over his bare feet. “These visions have been exhausting me pretty badly, I’m quite sick of them.”

“And the storm isn’t helping you either.” I added with a knowing smile; Xavier hated storms, especially the thunder. There was something very calming in the raindrops falling down and hitting the surface, I enjoyed it quite a lot if I got to stay inside.

“It really isn’t.” Xavier muttered and ran his long fingers through his soft hair as he glanced at me from the corner of his eye. I chuckled and leaned closer to him, resting my chin on his shoulder.

“Well, since I’m feeling generous—” I cleared my throat and Xavier was quick to smile, turning his head ever so slightly to look at me better, “I think you’re allowed to sleep next to me tonight.”

Xavier chuckled and I pulled away as he turned his head fully towards me, gazing into my eyes. He felt lucky to have me in his life in that exact moment and I saw his fingers twitching. There was this sudden new wave of emotion, something I couldn’t define, and it was getting more intense the longer I looked into Xavier’s eyes. He was also confused and his eyebrows were ever so slightly furrowed, but he quickly pushed the weird feeling away and became even more grateful that I took him in tonight. Besides, his fingers only twitched when he was holding back from hugging someone.

“It’s been long since we did this.” Xavier muttered with an amused smile and he looked around my room, his eyes stopping on the sketch he gave me this summer. We were out in the forest and found a flower clearing. While I was gathering some flowers for Alec, Xavier felt inspired and started drawing. The drawing was of me as I was leaning down and picking at a purple flower; his sketch was rather successful. I also admired it a lot ever since he gave it to me.

“Yes, because I thought you grew up and got over your fear of thunderstorms and the dark.” I teased Xavier as I pursed my lips and he rolled his eyes, pushing my shoulder playfully. The push wasn’t forceful at all, but I let myself fall onto my back. I huffed as hair got onto my face and stared up at the ceiling, feeling comfortable. I was really tired; I had a long day.

“Let’s go to sleep.” I spoke up when I realized Xavier remained sitting and just stared at me wordlessly. He seemed to snap out of his thoughts as he nodded and he gripped my blanket, pulling it over his body and mine as he laid down onto his back. We remained in silence as we stared up at the black ceiling for a few more seconds, nothing particular on our minds.

“Good night, Y/N.” Xavier whispered just as I reached out to turn off my lap. Darkness engulfed my room and my eyes needed a few moments to adjust to the darkness, which was lit by another lightning. Xavier turned onto his side, back facing me and blanket pulled up to his chin. He shifted around for a few seconds before settling down, inhaling and exhaling deeply. He got comfortable and I could feel his body releasing the stress he’s been feeling, letting his body and mind rest for the night. I bit my lower lip as I stared at the back of his head, his familiar scent, murky but sweet, made me feel weirdly tranquil. Without thinking much of it, I turned onto my side as well and scooted closer to Xavier. I pressed my forehead against his back and circled an arm around his waist, molding my body against his. We rarely touched each other, but falling asleep while cuddling always just felt…nice, sort of. Not that I could actually feel that.

“Good night, Xavier.” I whispered into his back and felt my eyes get heavier and heavier as the rain continued pouring and the lightning illuminated my room, thunder rumbling in the distance. Sleep came easier that night, to the both of us.

             The day for the Poe Cup has arrived. And it was in full swing. Ophelia Hall managed to row through the river without hardships, all thanks to Wednesday, who stepped in for Yoko; she couldn’t make it today. I was more than sure that it was Bianca’s hand in it, but Wednesday, who also had the same hunch as me, remained silent and so we didn’t say a thing to Enid. We didn’t want to dishearten her before the race. Emotions were running high, adrenaline rushing through everyone as we were currently leading. We have pulled up with our boat to the deck of the little island, where our flags were. Wednesday was supposed to run for it, but she had hurt her leg the previous day, therefore the position was given to me.

“Go, run, Y/N, run!” Enid screamed loudly, excitement cursing through her veins as I got up and out of our boat. The team was cheering loudly for me, since we were leading, and with a chuckle I took off, just as Bianca’s boat pulled up to the deck as well. I didn’t want to disappoint Ophelia Hall, and Enid was so ecstatic about the whole thing, that I wanted to bring them victory. Even Wednesday, who obviously remained emotionless during the whole battle, was feeling excited and was enjoying the race. She was the most competitive one from our team and it made me grin. Enid having Wednesday and I in her team secured herself the victory. There were no rules, we could do anything. And I was more than convinced that Wednesday and I played dirty. Jogging through the forest, I heard another pair of shoes hitting the ground hard and realized Bianca was catching up. She was fueled with rage and desperation to get to the flag first and then row back to the shore. She really wanted to win, poor thing, I couldn’t wait to feel her despair once she loses.

“Hey, Y/N!” Bianca shouted after me, but I paid no attention to her as I started running faster. The latex suit Enid made us wear wasn’t very restricting and meanwhile it was a bit too much for my taste, I couldn’t say anything. The rest of the team were werewolves, besides Wednesday, and they wanted to represent that.

“Cat got your tongue?!” Bianca spoke up again, and I realized she was right behind me. I rolled my eyes and kept on running, feeling a weird change in the air. It’s like it got warmer, as if a sudden heatwave rolled in. Suddenly, Bianca was next to me and my legs felt a little sluggish.

“Oh, no, seems like your stamina isn’t as good as you imagined.” Bianca’s bright blue eyes stared deeply into mine and for a second, I felt mesmerized by them, “I think you should stop for a second and take a rest. Nobody would want you to get hurt or sick, Y/N, your health is more valuable to us.”

Before I could nod at her, I realized what was happening. I started laughing loudly and abruptly stopped, creating confusion in Bianca. She stopped too, to watch me with furrowed eyebrows.

“Well, I didn’t think it would be funny what I said, but you should totally just sit down now and wait until the race is over—”

“What you said isn’t funny, it’s what you’re trying to do is that makes me laugh.” Bianca was weirded out as she watched me pat my eyelids, I got teary eyed from laughing so hard.

“And what am I trying to do?”

“Your siren powers don’t work on me, Bianca.” Shock, is what she felt, and her eyes widened. It soon turned into confusion and I smirked as I walked up to her, getting all up in her face.

“To manipulate someone with your powers, the person should have emotions and feelings first. Next time, you should check who you’re trying to manipulate.” I was irritated, I always hated it when someone in my family tried to calm me down or make me feel happy. And Bianca tried controlling me with her stupid siren song power. I did not appreciate that, however, the confusion my words created in Bianca offered me enough time to jump on her. She yelped as my legs circled her waist and my hands went around her neck. Bianca’s eyes widened as I tipped her over and we fell onto the dirty ground, a loud grunt leaving her mouth. That must’ve hurt.

“You want to play dirty?” I whispered with a smirk, lips close to her ear, “I’ll show you dirty.”

And then I started squeezing. Bianca’s eyes widened instantly and dread started coursing through her as she desperately tried to pull my hands off her neck. Only problem for her was…that one’s intense emotions only give me more strength, therefore, she had no chance of getting me off herself. She was trying to desperately breathe as I was squeezing her airways, her nails digging into my wrists, as I kept smirking at her and squeezing harder. Relax, I wasn’t going to kill her, I just wanted to knock her out. When she started trashing her body around I got fed up and induced calmness into her, body instantly relaxing. Her wide eyes slowly started to close and I chuckled as she went limp.

“Don’t worry, Bianca,” I whispered and patted her cheek, “we’ll see each other when Ophelia Hall wins.”

I chuckled and as I raised to my knees, to get off her, a body tackled me to the ground. My left shoulder started throbbing as it took the fall and I groaned loudly, scrunching my nose at the uncomfortable body weight pinning me down. I looked up at Xavier, who was feeling conflicted and scared.

"What the hell?!" He exclaimed, eyes going to Bianca, who lay a few feet away from us, unconscious.

“Don’t worry,” I smirked, “I didn’t kill your lover.”

“She’s not my lover anymore, Y/N.” Xavier snapped, frustrated. This whole jester outfit made him look…quite handsome. The red lip paint stretched out his lips and when he smiled, the students around him felt creeped out. I didn’t have to look at Xavier to know that he was enjoying all the attention he was getting, I could feel his smugness. And there were enough people who were turned on by his outfit, that was the excruciating part that I wished to not know about. Plenty of girls were lusting after him, and even some guys too. Xavier and I shared a look before we each got into our boats and he was smirking at me. I fixed him with a glare and he bit his lower lip as he trailed his eyes over my body, holding back a laugh. He mouthed ‘hot’ to me and I flipped him off, straightening my back and turning my head away from him. But they were dressed as clowns, and suddenly, Ajax and him started fooling around, making annoying sounds. Enid was secretly enjoying the whole show and Ajax flushed when he noticed her looking at him, teenagers with their lovey-dovey feelings could get really disgusting. And Xavier felt triumphant when he caught Wednesday looking at him, except that she was just bored and judging his choice of outfit. I had to be honest, though, the colors he wore were a nice contrast against his skin color and brought out his deep forest green eyes.

“Don’t know how seriously I can take a clown, Xavier.” He huffed and his eyes went to Bianca before they fell back on me.

“Explain yourself be—because to me it looked like you were trying to kill her!” Xavier’s voice rose and he was panicking a bit, that’s amusing.

“And so what?” I raised my eyebrows at him and Xavier’s eyes widened.

“You—you can’t be serious, Y/N.”

“I already told you I have no feelings or emotions, Xavier, so why does it still surprise you?” I huffed and rolled my eyes as Xavier shifted a bit, finally taking his leg off my thigh, it was starting to go numb, “Get off now.”

Xavier shook his head, eyebrows furrowed, as he tried to understand my words, “No, not until you explain yourself, because I don’t understand you anymore.”

I sighed and stared up at the blue sky for a second before looking back at Xavier, who’s eyes were desperately searching for mine, so I gazed into his, “Fastest and easiest way to say it…I’m a sociopath. I have no emotions and the only things I can feel are basically irritation, anger, and rarely amusement. Everyone thinks I’m normal, because when I was eight, my father taught me how to act and react to the people around me. Besides, I’m an empath, I know what everyone fells around me, and it’s easy to act accordingly to it. People are very easy to manipulate, Xavier, even you.”

Oh, Xavier was very confused. His eyebrows were furrowed and he opened his mouth to say something, but I left him quite speechless, “Did you never notice I smile in situations which are quite inadequate?”

“I did—I just—I thought it’s because of your dark humor—” I chuckled and watched as Xavier tried to bring sense to all of it. I bet it was hard for him to understand me as he always thought I was just like everyone else. So I decided to show him. Numbness, my usual state of mind. Calm, and quiet. Xavier’s grip on me loosened a bit as I saw his eyes clear up, body relaxing a bit. I didn’t hold the emotion wave over him for long, I just wanted him to catch a glimpse of it.

“There…that is what it feels like to be me.” Xavier was, once again, speechless as he looked at me. He slowly shook his head and muttered a ‘no’. He was going through it, the denial and disbelief stage. It was fine, my father went through it too. Took him some time to accept it, however, I think it’ll take longer for Xavier.

Despite always expecting the unexpected, what came next is still something I never expected to happen. One would say I was shocked, which I probably would’ve been if able to feel. Xavier’s lips were against mine. He kissed me, out of the blue. What the fuck? Why? What—what is he doing?! And they started moving against mine, soft lips which tasted like berries. It took me a second to kiss him back, but just because I couldn’t decide whether it is alright to kiss back your friend, or you should pull away. And Xavier’s feelings weren’t a good guidance all of a sudden. He shut down. As if he built up a wall that I couldn’t sense through. I could still feel a hint of denial, but whatever the hell he was doing, was overpowering my abilities. And so I closed my eyes and pressed my lips more forcefully against his. One of his hand’s released my wrist and he cupped my cheek. He was still gentle, he always was, and despite me trying to dominate he kiss, I couldn’t. There was something in Xavier which always took the lead and so I gave up, following his natural rhythm. I was pretty sure that friends don’t kiss, but this didn’t feel so bad. He wasn’t a bad kisser and it was actually enjoyable. My hand, subconsciously, got tangled in his tied-up hair which wouldn’t bother his jester hat, but it was currently, quite irritating. I wanted to run my hands through his hair, but I couldn’t because of it. His hand slipped from my cheek to my neck and that was when it hit me. A wave of longing, quite powerful too, as Xavier pulled back for a small second. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to understand what he was feeling, but he wasn’t sure either. So I leaned up and kissed him, less gentle and more needy as I gripped his nape firmly and pulled him closer, making him grunt. He released my other wrist and instead supported himself against the earth as my legs wrapped around his hips. Was I seriously making out with my best friend, on a muddy forest floor, during the Poe Cup? I probably shouldn’t even have allowed him to kiss me let alone make out with me, but Xavier’s emotions were intoxicating and it was making my head spin. His hand slipped back to my head and he gripped my hair, pulling away. Out of instinct, I wanted to follow his lips and kiss him again, but Xavier didn’t let me.

“And you have no feelings?” He asked breathless, chest rising and falling faster than before. I licked my lips as I looked into his eyes, eyebrows furrowed. His red lip paint got smudged and I was more than sure it was all over my face too.

“I don’t—” I cleared my throat when my voice came out raspy. We were in a forest, there are vines, right? “I don’t have feelings, Xavier.”

He shook his head feeling annoyed, “Well it didn’t feel like it when we kissed.”

I rolled my eyes and concentrated on the dead vines behind us, hanging off a tree branch, “Well…you’re the one to talk. Not only you kissed me, you were quite enjoying yourself too.”

Xavier got embarrassed and he gulped, averting his eyes from mine, “Well, I just—”

And I pushed him, my force taking him off guard as he fell onto his ass. The vines I have concentrated on so hard sprung forward and tangled around Xavier’s wrists, who was too shocked to react.

“What—Y/N—” When he realized I was tying him to a tree, he tried to stand up quickly, but I pushed him back down. He couldn’t even struggle against them, because with a flick of my hands, the veins clung onto him tightly, tying him.

“Sorry, Xav, I have a Cup to win.” I chuckled and winked at him as the vines secured my best friend against the tree, making him hiss when they tightened more around his body. Having basic telekinesis powers was quite handy in times like this.

“Y/N!” Xavier was feeling incredulous and just to tease him more, I walked up to him and leaned down. His eyes went to my lips first and I smirked, amused by his behavior and conflicting emotions.

“Bianca will wake up soon and well…it’ll take a few good minutes to get yourself untied, Xavier.” I smiled sweetly at him, “See you on the other side, loser.”

And to put the cherry on top, I pressed a swift kiss against his lips before taking off running towards the flags, which were visible from where we stood. I could hear Xavier’s frustrated screams, telling me to cut the shit and release him. Would I do that? Never.

After all, it was a battle with no rules, and I’d use that to my advantage whenever given the chance.

↳Part2

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[targaryenrealnessdarling]

It's Who We Have | Part Six

Summary: After dinner with Billy's parents, the bridge is difficult to rebuild | Word Count: 5.1k~ | Warnings: angst, family trauma, mentions of terrorism, heavy(ish) petting, billy going softie

General Taglist | Billy Washington Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Lana was a little, petite woman, and yet she slammed the door so hard, it could have come off its hinges. She even thought she saw the family portrait above the fireplace wobble. 

A steady, raw silence filled the air at the dinner table. Billy’s mum stared forwards at the centrepiece, with two M&S candles lit, and sighed softly, as if disappointed that she hadn’t expected such behaviour. She remembers Billy’s dad huffing as he got out his seat and wordlessly stepped through the creaky french doors, pulling a bag of tobacco out his pocket to roll himself a cigarette.

She also remembers the cracked leather of the seat cushion, how her feet didn’t touch the floor and the gnawing ache of hunger in her stomach. The passing thought that perhaps this was the only hot meal she was likely to have for a while, and it was in someone else’s house. 

Billy remained quiet beside her, scraping the tongs of his fork against his plate as he tried to stab at a pre-cut piece of sausage, seemingly quite used to keeping silent after the usual outburst from his older sister. 

“Come on, chick, you’re alright,” Billy’s mum smiled softly, the lines in her cheeks deepening as well as around her eyes, coaxing her to eat once again, after being rattled by the incessant shouting and blaring of Lana’s teenage rampage. 

In the eyes of Mrs Washington, there was care, tinged with sadness that such behaviour had made the little girl sitting opposite her curl back into her shell, mouth sealed shut as if on instinct. And so, she chose to trust this mother’s nature, and ate slowly, grateful at least for the company of Billy beside her, non-judgemental and kind-hearted. 

He and his mum were always alike in that way.

"Mummy, can we play upstairs after—" Billy began, interrupted by the ringing of the home phone. His mum rose from her seat, excusing herself to answer it.

"Just a second, love," she said, her voice warm and comforting. “Hello.”

Even her voice down the phone had that warm embracing tone of motherhood.

But all she heard on the other end was shouting she actually recognised. Her own mum, clearly in whatever addled state, her loud screaming crackling against Mrs Washington’s ear. 

“Yes, she’s here- can she not finish her dinner first -” Val murmured, her back turned to both children sat at the table still, as if to shield them from the onslaught of verbal abuse, “-I understand she’s your daught- yes - yes, I’ll bring her home after she’s had her tea-”

The way the phone was placed back on the charging dock made her stomach flip with nerves. Combined with the solemn expression on Billy’s mum’s face, she heard the words before they were even spoken.

“That was your mum, darling,” she said quietly, carefully, her eyebrows arched in worry, “take your time having your tea, alright.”

And she did. She always would. 

“Hiya sweetheart!” Val's voice was wobbly as she greeted her at the front door, giving her a bruising hug that pressed right against her ribs, “you're early.”

She nodded with a tight lipped smile, “thought I'd come and help with dishing up.”

“Oh, don't be silly, duck. You're our guest!”

Armed with her first cup of tea in the Washington household, it didn't take Val long to be completely overwhelmed with everything she had going on, and resorted to accepting her help anyway.

Clearly, Billy's mum had been excited for this. A notion that warmed her heart. Val had gone all out, roasted parsnips, Yorkshire puddings, roasted veg, roast and mash potato, sausages and a cut of beef. Enough to easily feed six. And she found herself biting back a smile wondering if Val had realised just how much food she'd done.

Like most mothers, this was her love language. Making sure everyone was fed.

She felt a lightness that hadn't been there for quite some time. Billy hadn't arrived yet, and she knew that the second he did, the mood would flatten, become suffocating. Like a hug that is too tight.

His arrival was made worse by the fact that he was late, and his dad didn’t miss a beat in telling him off, both of his parents already on his back in different ways the second he walked across the threshold. Shoulders slumped in depression, dragging his body around on long limbs like he was walking through honey.

Jeff had no hope of noticing the rift between them, but Val certainly did when Billy and her locked eyes across the hallway, for a moment not knowing what to say. And it likely would have stayed that way, until Billy eventually cleared his throat and let his mum take his coat, nodding.

“Alright?”

She herself had to force her voice out, “Yeah, thanks. You?”

Conversation didn't improve further than that at the dinner table, though the warm, familiar smell of roast potatoes and meat flavoured with herbs filled the intimate space, she found herself restless, sat beside Billy, with Mr and Mrs Washington opposite them.

Thank god for Val. For if she didn't try, the entire evening would be dead silent and just the sound of clinking cutlery would be enough to drive someone mad.

“How is your new flat, chick?” She asked sweetly, eyes wide and genuinely caring, “settling in alright?”

“Yes thanks, it needs the little niceties but it's a good roof over my head.”

Val nodded approvingly. "Good to hear.”

“Yeah it's about time you got your own place,” Jeff gruffed, not even looking at her to see the sinking look on her face, nor the one of his disgruntled wife.

Billy felt the awkwardness. The skirting around what his dad really meant. And he sat, picking at a stick of roasted carrot, when his dad asked the fated question, “any luck on the job front?”

She could feel herself wince. And even saw Billy tense up in her peripheral vision.

Billy sighed, pushing his chair out, “gonna go for a smoke.”

“But you're not finished with din-”

“I'll be right back, Mum,” despite his mother's protest, he slipped out the French doors, searching his pockets for a cigarette. 

She watched him for a moment as Val elbowed her husband, “do you have to fucking start?”

“What? I was just asking!”

She felt the smile threaten, stabbing a honey-roasted parsnip as she listened to them bicker. But also a dull ache in her chest at Billy's retreat back into himself, she couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for him. It wasn't just the rejection from his friends; it was the sense of being ganged up on by his own parents, compounded by Lana's absence.

“How is it, love?” Val asked.

“Lovely, Mrs Washington,” she smiled kindly in return, “parsnips never disappoint.”

She'd never tire of the way Billy's mum smiled. “Well, take your time.”

She could've laughed. Some things never change.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. Jeff retired to the living room, half asleep with a belly full of Sunday dinner and god-knows-what episode of Faulty Towers on the tele. And when it was time to leave, Billy gave an ingenuine, tight-lipped smile as his mum handed him his coat, “did you drive?” she asked.

“Nah, walked. Got a mate fixing up my car.”

It was near-comical, the way Billy’s head snapped up at the sound of her voice, as if startled she’d been there listening, “do you need a lift?” she asked, pulling her bag over her shoulder, car keys bundled in one hand.

Billy’s eyes lowered slightly and then rose again to her face, not replying immediately, which made her heart race fast in her chest.

“It’s on the way so…” she hated the desperation in her voice, and tried hard to will the tone of it away. But Billy looked forward to her, a slow, gentle recognition and a reluctance in his expression, shocked she’d even offered.

“Yeah, alright.”

After a slew of friendly ‘thank yous’ and goodbye hugs, she let out a shaky breath as soon as she sat in the driver’s seat, fingers curled around the leather steering wheel as if to keep them from shaking as Billy slid into the passenger seat, spreading his long legs into the footwell once he’d adjusted his seat all the way back.

Neither said a single word for what felt like a lifetime.

As she halted at a red traffic light, the harsh glow accentuated the lines of tension etched on her face, mirroring the fading twilight. Billy broke the silence, his voice barely a whisper against the hum of the blowers set on the lowest setting.

“Thanks for the lift.” 

One arm rested on the window frame, their eyes locked for a split second before the light shifted to green, “anytime.”

The silence that followed deepened the pit in her chest, making her feel antsy and nervous in equal measure. Billy wasn't faring much better, twirling his thumbs in his lap, and bouncing his left leg just to have something to do.

Pulling into the vacant spot behind Billy's battered Vauxhall, she felt a surge of apprehension mingle with the hollow pit in her chest. The engine's persistent hum seemed to mock their inability to bridge the growing chasm between them. 

And he didn't move to get out the car.

Billy sighed, his fingers rubbing his temple, “How do we do this then.”

“Do what?” she countered, her voice betraying a trace of defensiveness

He gestured between them, frustration simmering beneath the surface, “This. Us,” he answered simply, his throat bobbing as if stressed.

“I don’t think that’s really a question you should be asking me, is it?” 

Billy shook his head, a mirthless laugh escaping his lips. "I just don't want this anymore," he confessed, his voice raw with emotion.

Her heart clenched at his admission, the reality of their crumbling bond hitting her with devastating force. "Neither do I, Billy," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the din of their shared silence.

“Can we just talk,” he asked, a shaking tone invading his voice, “please?”

For a fleeting moment, she gazed out at the street through the windscreen, her eyes scanning the darkening sky. It felt as though a weighty conversation had perpetually lingered between them, and now, in this moment, it seemed inevitable.

With a simple, wordless gesture, she twisted the key in the ignition, silencing the engine's persistent hum. The abrupt cessation of sound plunged them back into the suffocating void of silence, where unspoken words hung heavy in the air like an oppressive fog.

Billy sat in the heavy silence, grappling with the weight of unspoken words. He knew he needed to apologise, to bridge the chasm that had grown between them, but the fear of looking foolish held him back.

Taking a deep breath, he shifted in his seat, his fingers drumming nervously against his thigh. He searched for the right words, ones that would convey his remorse without undermining his pride.

"I just... I want to make things right."

She was quiet, her eyes looking down at the gearstick, without the strength to look at him directly. 

She shook her head, “why Billy?” she asked, “do you know how fucking heartbroken Abi was when he heard what you’d done?”

It was a mistake to glance over at him, the way her heart squeezed when she saw his head was lowered in shame, a whirlwind of emotions going off inside Billy’s head. Like he wasn’t sure what he should think for himself. 

Billy's heart sank as her words pierced through him like daggers. He couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze, his shame weighing heavily upon him. Each syllable she uttered felt like a blow to his already battered conscience.

"I... I didn't mean to," he stammered, his voice tinged with remorse. "I was drunk, I wasn't thinking straight..."

His voice trailed off as he struggled to find the right words to convey the depth of his regret. He knew he had hurt not just Abi, but their entire community, with his reckless actions.

Frustration bubbled in her chest as she shook her head, “being drunk isn’t an excuse. Last time I saw you, you were all ‘these people are stealing our jobs and ruining this country’ etc etc. What’s happened to that?” she countered, trying to control the steadily rising anger in her voice, “who are these people you’ve got yourself involved in? Because I know…I know this isn’t you, Billy.”

His throat constricted as her words struck him with the force of a sledgehammer. Shame burned hot in his chest, mingling with the simmering anger directed inward. He knew he had no excuse for his actions, but facing her condemnation made it all the more unbearable.

"I know," he whispered, his voice barely audible above the rush of blood in his ears. “I don't know what to believe anymore.”

For a split second, she felt the crush of his admission choke her with its oppressive weight, her throat closing up with emotion. The dread of being so utterly lonely radiating off him like a miasma. A barrage of emotions, memories, feelings threatened to overwhelm her at that very moment. 

“I've not been completely innocent in this either,” she choked out, though it was difficult to say. And she knew he was looking at her, so she stared at something, anything else, to avoid the horrible feeling she was being pitied.

“I'll say it how it is, because nobody else wants to. My mum is shit, has always been, my dad is god knows where, I was impossible at school and I moved far away to uni to get away from that horrible sick feeling that everyone had seen those fucking pictures of me.”

The words tasted like venom, even to herself, at the heartbreaking predicament that was her life. She shook her head, wetting her lips nervously, “turns out running away didn't fix a single thing.”

Billy sighs, “I feel shit that I wasn't there for you.”

“We were barely adults, Billy. That's not on you.”

“Even so,” he argued, “If I had pulled my head out the ground for one second I would have seen,” he says, “you deserved better.”

She chanced it then, and glanced over at him, swallowing thickly with something weighing heavily on her shoulders. A smile tried to find its way to her face at the expression she was giving him, so, so similar to how he looked as a boy and a teenager, but with the roughened and sharp edges that defined him into adulthood.

“You know I’ve always been jealous of you.”

Billy’s eyes were tinged with confusion when she said that, the blue of his eyes barely noticeable in the low amber glow of the streetlights outside the car.

She tried to swallow whatever bubbled up, “I remember the first time I ever felt it…that first day of school.”

His lips parted, and eyebrows drew together as he looked into his lap, “please don’t-”

“No, let me speak,” she insisted, her voice tinged with pain, face clouding up with barely-contained grief, “I just-I saw you with your mum and couldn’t help it. You were so happy. So loved.”

Silence fell between them, her words strained by her strength to hold back tears hitting him to his very core. Billy remembers so clearly, he’d be embarrassed to admit. Leading her into the girls toilets and using blue tissues to wipe off the mud. Her face wet with tears. He very nearly smiled at the memory of it, and what bond was formed from that day on.

“You were the only one who ever really saw me,” she admitted, “and it made me feel that to someone I existed…and that I mattered.”

It felt painful, this bridge between them, aching to be rebuilt.

“Now it feels like I’m losing you…” she whispered, “...when I had hoped I’d given you that feeling back somewhere along the way.”

The weight of her words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the rift that had grown between them. Billy felt the ache of regret settle deep in his chest, knowing that he had failed her in more ways than he could count.

But she kept going, the words spilling out of her like she had kept them locked up for too long, and they were yearning to escape. 

“So if these…right-wing, George Cross-waving twats make you feel like you matter then I have massively fucked up somewhere..”, the words nearly made a smile rise to his face, but the seriousness of the conversation made him simply just glance up at her, “..and for that I’m sorry.”

Her words cut through the tension like a knife, raw with emotion and self-recrimination. Billy's heart clenched at the pain in her voice, the weight of her apology hanging heavy in the air. 

He reached out tentatively, his hand hovering in the space between them. "I'm sorry too," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "For everything."

She wet her lips, drawing in a needed breath to fuel the tears that were now rolling down her face, her throat feeling raw when she slid her hand into his, fingers interwoven, the foundations of that bridge feeling all the more heavy, but manageable. And for a long moment, neither said a word, but it felt easier to bask in it, knowing that it was slowly piecing together the broken bonds that had once scattered about their lives.

“Promise me,” she utters weakly, “promise me you’ll stop this, whatever you’re doing with them. Apologise to Abi, Ami, everyone…I know you’re hurting but you’re better than this.”

Her honesty was appreciated but stung all the same.

"Promise," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Her eyes searched his, hope mingling with uncertainty. Slowly, a tentative smile tugged at the corners of her lips, a glimmer of relief illuminating her tear-streaked face.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you for trying."

She felt something warm shimmer pleasantly in her chest when Billy’s thumb stroked against the back of her hand, along her knuckles.

“Sorry,” attempting to lighten the mood with a weak laugh, she wiped one cheek, trying to smear the tears away to make way for relief. 

Billy smiles boyishly, and there’s something light and nostalgic about it, “nothing changes,” he starts, a hint of playfulness in his voice, “you still look ugly when you cry.”

She laughs despite her tears, brushing them away gently as she responds, a softness creeping into her tone as their old connection flickers back to life. “Fuck off.”

It felt nice, laughing again, with the lingering hope that Billy desired real change.

“‘m only joking,” he murmured, leaning over the centre console, his other hand reaching out to brush her hair out her face in a motion that made her heart clench and warmth pool in her stomach, “you look beautiful.”

As soon as the words left his lips, the atmosphere in the cramped space shifted, charged with an undeniable tension. Their proximity felt electrifying, every inch of space between them tingling with unspoken desire. How many years had led to this moment they were sharing now, quiet and dark, their eyes alone communicating the depth of this impulse to inch closer?

Their eyes met, a silent understanding passing between them, as if words were no longer necessary in this charged atmosphere. But the tension demanded some kind of release, some acknowledgment of the emotions swirling between them.

Billy's gaze softened, his hand lingering on her cheek. "I've missed this," he confessed, voice tinged with vulnerability. "Being with you like this.”

When she wet her lips anxiously, she swore she saw his eyes flit to them briefly, her reply taking longer than usual to form, "It feels like coming home," she agreed, her voice barely a whisper.

In that moment, the weight of their shared history and the promise of a future filled with possibility hung in the air between them like a tangible force, crackling with tension. Each heartbeat echoed in the silence, a drumbeat urging them forward into the unknown.

It reminded her of that night at Cranstead Fields. She can still hear the clinking of glasses, Libby’s high-pitched drunken confessions to Abi, sat on his lap, Paddy and Harry wrestling on the grass, white shirts smudged with green as they argued about who should go and fetch the football while Ami pulled at their shirts to separate them.

But what she remembers most about that night, was the taste of WKD on Billy’s lips, the warmth that bloomed in her stomach and flipped with nerves and the flush that rose to her face when Billy had turned his face, to press his lips flush to hers and parted them with the swipe of his tongue.

And that is what she felt now, bar the taste of cheap vodka, as once again, however many years later, it was sealed with a sweet but urgent kiss.

She felt his thumbs on her cheeks, fingers threaded through her hair to pull her close to him, and just like she had that night, her hand found its way to his chest, to feel his heart thrumming beneath his skin, the material of his shirt caught in her palm. And Billy felt her eyelashes against his cheek, it was a delicate dance, a balance between desire and restraint, as they navigated the uncharted territory.

But as their lips lingered, a silent understanding passed between them, a silent agreement that this was just the beginning of their journey back to each other.

When they parted, pulling air between their now disconnected lips, all they could do was look at each other, the waves of realisation that the lines between friendship and whatever this was were rapidly blurring was heart-clenching.

“Sorry-”

She shook her head lightly, “No…it's alright, really.”

They both knew that they had just crossed a line, blurring the boundaries of their friendship in a way that couldn't be undone. But despite the awkwardness, there was also a sense of relief in finally acknowledging the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long.

"We should... probably talk about this," she suggested, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, we should," Billy agreed, his expression a mixture of uncertainty and longing.

And as they sat in silence, grappling with the newfound complexity of their relationship, they both knew that their friendship would never be the same again. But whether that was a good thing or a bad thing remained to be seen.

He cleared his throat, the sound breaking the heavy silence that hung between them like a tangible barrier. “Do you wanna come in? For a cuppa?”

She felt her heart race at the invitation, her mind racing with conflicting emotions. This was familiar territory, yet everything felt different now, charged with an electric tension that crackled in the air between them.

The offer of a cup of tea seemed mundane, almost laughable given the charged atmosphere that enveloped them. But neither of them made a move to acknowledge the unspoken truth lingering beneath the surface.

"Um, yeah, sure," she managed to reply, her voice barely above a whisper. Her tongue suddenly feeling too big for her own mouth as she undid her seatbelt and followed awkwardly behind him as he unlocked the street-level door and lingered behind once they ascended the stairs to his flat.

His flat had changed little from the last time she'd seen it, albeit the clothes were put away. The kettle remained untouched, forgotten amidst the unspoken desires that pulsed between them like a current.

Every breath felt like a struggle, the air charged with a palpable longing that neither of them dared to voice. But for now, they remained frozen in place, suspended in a silent dance of desire and hesitation. She felt so small, standing in his lounge, that when she glanced up and saw Billy leaning against the doorframe, near-filling any void space of it, hands tucked in his pockets.

He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. "I don't want to ignore what just happened between us. It's... it's different now, isn't it?"

She nodded slowly, her gaze fixed on the floor as she struggled to find the right words. "Yeah, it is. I mean, we've been friends for so long, but..." Her voice trailed off, the weight of their unspoken desires hanging heavy in the air.

"But things have changed," he finished for her, his voice barely above a whisper.

They both knew that there was no going back to the way things were before. Their friendship had evolved into something deeper, something more complex and fragile than either of them had ever anticipated. She felt her heart flutter sickly in her chest, the same way it had the last time they had kissed all those years ago.

"I don't want to ruin what we have," she said softly, her voice tinged with fear.

"Me neither," he agreed.

There was a long pause as they both grappled with the magnitude of what they were feeling. They had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed, and now they had to figure out how to navigate this new terrain together.

"But I can't ignore the way I feel," he admitted, his voice trembling with emotion.

Her heart skipped a beat at his confession, her own feelings laid bare in the raw vulnerability of the moment. 

And as they stood there in the quiet of his living room, their eyes locked in a silent understanding. The tension growing thick the longer they remained this way, and her heart lurching into his chest when Billy pushed off the doorframe and crossed the room to her in a few strides alone. So close, she could smell his fabric softener.

“I'm sorry I just can't,” he added swiftly, closing the space as she parted her lips to reply.

And just let go.

His fingers curled around her waist tightly, lips clumsily crashing together with desperation, years and years of denial, of longing, of sheer stubbornness, pouring out of each of them in crashing waves.

For a moment, she felt as if she didn't know whether she should touch him, hold onto him by his shoulders, and very much felt like he knew what he'd wanted to do much, much sooner than she had.

But the moment he pulled their hips flush, chests brushing, and her fingers slid up the nape of his neck to grasp the hair that touched his neck, it had felt right. The short, unshaven hair at his jaw scratched perfectly against her fingertips, and tickled her face the more he moved to capture her lips again.

His touch ignited a fire within her, sending shivers down her spine as she surrendered herself to the intoxicating whirlwind of desire. With every brush of his lips, she felt herself unravelling, melting into him with an urgency that bordered on desperation.

In that moment, there were no words, no thoughts, only the raw, primal need that consumed them both. And as they finally succumbed to the passion that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long, they knew that there was no turning back.

Her heart twisted in excitement as his hands made their way north, sliding up her sides beneath her shirt, thumbs drifting over her ribs to touch her in places she had secretly hoped he always would. 

And she couldn't help the cringeworthy slip of his name as he grunted breathily into her mouth, his palms moulding her breasts through the frustrating layer of her bra, but pleased at the way her body reacted to it.

“Billy -” 

How many years had he wanted to hear that?

She allowed herself the briefest touch of his skin, her fingers against his flesh made him tremble, and she saw the rush of feelings rise to his cheeks as he swallowed whatever he was thinking by pressing his lips fervently to hers instead.

The mere thought of being pressed close to her like this would usually have his body responding in tandem. But now, as his own hand paused at the waistband of her jeans, barely dipping beneath her underwear, he sighed to himself, embarrassed somewhat, and sorely regretted downing three cans of beer in two hours earlier in the evening when his body didn't reciprocate how his mind felt about her.

His forehead rested against the crook of her neck, hot breath batting against her collarbone. The pull of wanting to touch her like this, to just do it and make her feel every bit the way she deserved, was all-consuming.

But after a few empty seconds, he peeled his fingers away from the waistband of her jeans.

“Fuck- sorry…” he managed, out of breath, apologising for what felt like the millionth time that night, “can't…I've had too much to drink-”

“It's okay,” she smiled, the heat on her face feeling tight against the rise of her lips. She gave him a reassuring smile as she righted her clothes, still feeling the burning mark of his hands where they'd touched her bare skin. And as ashamed as she was to say it, the warm pooling of desire tugging at her belly.

“It's late, I should-” 

“Yeah, yeah…” he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

She deflated once she saw the alerts pop up on her screen, “fuck- road’s closed. Gonna take me ages to drive home.”

While she scrolled, agitation growing at the idea of being stuck in her car for another hour, Billy eventually spoke, “stay here for the night,” he said, it came out more of a desperate plea than an offer at first.

He quickly shook his head of a trance when he saw her face, “U-uh, I mean, no funny business, you have the bed, I can have the sofa-”

“I couldn't ask that of you, Billy.”

“Well, you're not asking, I'm - offering,” he smiled boyishly, in a way that made it difficult to refuse.

She sighed through her nose, “I've got to go into Central London tomorrow.”

“Well…” he sighed, rubbing his palms nervously against his thighs, “I was supposed to meet the lads at Farringdon Tube Station tomorrow, I'll take you down - get you into London and…I'll break things off with them. For Good.”

Swallowing nervously, she met his gaze, her eyes pleading for reassurance. "Promise," he urged, his baby blue eyes wide with sincerity, pleading with her to believe him.

She hesitated, uncertainty clouding her features as she searched his face for any hint of doubt. She clicked off her phone and nodded, with a hopeful smile, “Okay.”

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[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Devil is in the Details

Dream of the Endless/Morpheus x f!demon!reader

Summary: When you are given a contract against the King of Dreams you knew what was expected of you. Unfortunately, you are a demon - an old one at that, so they should expect the unexpected. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, smut, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex (piv), bisexual reader, choking WC: 3820

This is the first instalment of works in The Anthology of Asmodeus' Heir. Part One: The Devil is in the Details Part Two: Lightbringer's Champion Part Three: A Demon’s Work Is Never Done Part Four: Rise of the Fallen Part Five: Queen of the Damned

Sickly sweet tendrils of smoke reached for the dark ceiling of the opium den, a headache already forming from inhaling as you stalked through the room. Dozens of flames flickered from twisted candelabras that cast shadows into the small booths filled with glassy-eyed customers. Limbs hung lazily over the stained velvet pillows, fingers twitching towards the pipe that would send them to another world.

Hidden in the very last booth where the smoke was strongest you found him, Abaddon. 

Crossing your arms and resting your hip against the booth, you gave a small kick to the demon’s chair. “Care to explain why I had to come to this cesspit and meet with your sorry ass?”

A slow grin split his face, a ghoulish baring of teeth before he sealed his lips around the pipe and inhaled deeply. “Take a seat, I have a contract for you.”

“I’d rather stand.” You didn’t try to hide the disgust as he let the smoke tumble from his lips and drew it up his nostrils. 

If he was offended he didn’t show it. Instead, he cosied down into the plush pillows and tucked his hands behind his head, the blood red robe he wore falling open across his chest. It was a power play, to show you that he held no fear for you, a game you were well adept at playing. 

“What is the contract?” you asked, wishing to hurry up and be back above ground where the air was fresh from the dizzying opiates. 

“It came straight from the boss,” Abaddon drawled, the high of the opium flushing across his skin until he felt the need to shuck the robe completely. “Old Lucifer’s finally decided it’s time to put Dream of the Endless back in his place.”

“Please,” you said with a snort at both the statement and the body he had bared by discarding the robe, “Lucifer is just pissed he bested her on her own soil. She will get over it.”

“Lord Azazel and the Dukes of Hell have united for the cause, something she does not take lightly.” Abaddon’s eyes sharpened on your face, enjoying the slight shock that rippled over your before you could conceal it. “She calls on you, the Lightbringer’s Champion, to bring Dream to his knees.”

A smirk grew on your face at the challenge and a small laugh bubbled from your parted lips. “Tell my sweet Morningstar that I accept.”

You turned on your heel and swept across the splintered floorboards and out of the den without a farewell or even a glance over your shoulder. Your mind was set on the contract and just how much you were going to enjoy fulfilling it. 

“How the fuck did you get out so quick?” Johanna spat as she opened the door to her apartment. You looked over her shoulder at the mess strewn on her floor and cocked an eyebrow. “I was looking for something. Keep the judgemental eyes to yourself demon-bitch, before you find yourself without them.”

You grinned at the endearment and pushed off the wall you had been leaning across, waiting for her to answer. “You know you wouldn’t have to look for things if you actually organised yourself a little better, love.”

“I don’t need another lecture, thank you very much,” the necromancer huffed, burying her hands in her pockets and taking a step back. 

You crossed the threshold and shivered at the wards she had inscribed beneath the Welcome Home doormat. “Trying to trap me again? I’ll try not to be too offended.”

Johanna waved you off with an eye roll and crossed the room to the liquor cabinet that was always fully stocked. “If you are weak enough to be caught in that spell, that’s your problem not mine. To what do I owe this displeasure?”

“Come now, darling, you love my visits,” you teased, accepting the glass of whiskey as you draped yourself over the small clear space on her couch. “Your namesake loved them too. Oh, you should have seen the fun we had.”

“You never did say why she started hunting demons,” Johanna probed as she pushed a pile of clothes to the floor so there was room for her to tuck her legs up when she cosied up alongside you. 

You ignored her narrowing eyes as you swirled the amber liquid around the crystal tumbler. “No. I didn’t. Put it down to a bad case of the blues.”

“You broke her heart.” She stated coolly. 

You tipped your head back with a laugh. “I break everyone’s heart, I am a demon.”

Johanna sighed and took a gulp of her drink, igniting the burn of the alcohol with a deep breath. “Why did you come here?”

“Have you seen Dream of the Endless recently?”

Her eyes flickered to her office and you swiftly rose from the couch to duck inside the even messier space. Your nostrils caught his scent lingering in the small room but it wasn’t fresh, at least a week old. 

“What do you want with Morpheus?” Johanna asked from the doorway, her body language deceivingly relaxed considering the concern her voice held. 

“Morpheus? How quaint to be on a first name basis with the King of Dreams.” The words were bitter on your tongue as you brushed past the necromancer. “I very rarely give warnings, Constantine, but steer clear of your friend if you don’t want your already short mortal life to become even shorter.”

“Is that a threat?” Johanna asked as she rolled her shoulders in anticipation. “Because I have no problem sending you right back to hell where you belong, bitch.”

Flames flickered in your eyes as your power began to burn to the surface, the air thickening as it drew closer. “There is a war coming that is long overdue, and he will not win. I don’t want to see you die, Johanna.”

“It almost sounds like you care,” she said with a scoff and turned her back on you, pointing to the door as she wandered further into her apartment. “Just fuck off.”

“She broke me first,” you whispered, her spine stiffening for a moment before she continued on her way. You slipped out the front door, shutting it silently behind you before putting your own wards across the door. She may banish you back to hell at least once a year but you cared for her, as much as a demon supposedly could. 

With Dream’s scent catalogued in your memory, you took to the dark and dreary London streets. There was nothing to be done until you picked up a fresh trail to track so you walked all night and let the rain wash away the memories that had wormed their way to the surface. Memories of Lady Johanna Constantine and the nights spent in Fawney Rig.

It took two months before you caught the scent of the elusive Lord of Dreams, but you wouldn’t call the time wandering the Waking a complete waste. There seemed to be more mortals willing to barter their souls than ever before, and your calendar was suddenly full of collection dates - in ten years time. It would pass in the blink of an eye for you. 

Dream’s scent had become a fixation, you had spent long nights dissecting it, studying the layers and notes that made it complete. You had determined it was unlike any other scent you had tracked. There was a musk that reminded you of an ancient book in a long forgotten library but also a floral hint of a blossoming flower bud, contradicting old and new. Then there was the deep richness that could only be found in the heart of the mountains, a purely masculine scent that one could almost bathe in. 

Now you were tracking that scent in Covent Garden, through the markets that were bustling with shoppers and past the buskers singing for loose change. A string of curses built on your tongue as a pungent waft of garlic from a gyros stand left your nostrils numb, Dream’s scent lost with it.

“Give me a fucking break,” you complained as you fought the urge to stomp your foot and send a flame into the stall that had disrupted your hunt. You knew it was no act of God that blew a gust a wind through the market, he would never give a demon assistance, but something or someone was on your side. A fresh hit of that delectable scent slapped you in the face and you shivered in anticipation of the renewed hunt.

It appeared Dream had no direction as you traced his steps out of the market and to the River Thames. The crowd thinned as you reached the river's edge and found him staring out across the water, his forearms resting on the railing. Utterly alone.

You had to give him credit where it was due, he didn’t even flinch as you mirrored his pose. “Hello, Majesty. Shouldn’t you have your raven?” 

“Sometimes I do things I shouldn’t,” he replied quietly, breaking away from staring at the murky water to glance at you. “You are brave to spend your time in this city, or stupid. There’s a rather dangerous occultist that doesn't take kindly to demons roaming her streets.”

“How do you think I found you?” you snickered, his eyebrows pinching in concern but not enough to question her wellbeing. “You really should mask your scent, Morpheus. You never know what malevolent beings might stumble upon it.”

“Is that what you are? Malevolent?” There was no fear in his deep, soothing voice, just curiosity and mild boredom.

You shrugged and looked down the river to the bright lights of the London Eye. “I am what I am.” 

“But you dream of being something more.”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

When he turned, it took a lot of effort to stop yourself from taking a step back. His presence was a being unto itself, making him larger than just his physical body alone as it towered over you. His irises were almost iridescent in the fading light and his stare felt perverse, as if he were burrowing into the hellfire core where a soul should have been. 

“Not demons.”

“That’s very small minded of you, Dream,” you tutted. “I thought you of all people would understand how much time can change a person.”

“You are not a person, you are a demon. You can walk this plane in a beautiful, stolen skin but it does not change what you are.”

Your lips curled up into a dark smile as you reached out and ran your hand slowly up his arm. “You think I’m beautiful.” 

Your hand came to rest at the hollow of his throat and his body stilled as he waited for the attack that was sure to come. You should have, could have ended it in that moment but his fearlessness intrigued you - it was what had drawn you to Lady Johanna Constintine and then her great-great-great-great granddaughter. Instead, you went against your nature and ignored the burning letters of the contract written on your skin as you let your flames flare in your eyes.

His eyebrows rose ever so slightly and his lips parted with a silent question.

“No mortal body could contain me, and you don’t know nearly as much about demons as you like to think you do.” You dropped your hand to your side as a raven landed on the railing between you and barked a laugh at the sight. “Sweet Matthew, I wondered what happened to you. What a clever little bird you are, escaping my collection.”

The raven bowed his head before hopping along the rail closer to Dream. “I leave you for five minutes and this is what happens. What does Asmodeus’ heir want with you?”

You fought the urge to curl your lip back at the title. Ruling a domain in hell was a prison sentence for you, trapped in Lucifer’s realm to keep the lackeys in line. It was a future where you would do anything to escape, especially when Asmodeus’ line fed on lust. There was nothing attractive about the demons that resided in Hell, you would starve. 

“I have a contract.” The raven swooped at your face with a flurry of feathers and claws but a burst of flame from your hand sent him reeling back to hide behind Dream. “You never had this much nobility when you were mortal, Matthew. Don’t you think if I wanted Dream dead he would already be drifting on the ether?”

“She could have killed me a dozen times over,” Dream said to the raven as he let him perch on his shoulder. “I am still trying to understand why she hasn’t.”

“You’ll give yourself an aneurysm trying to understand me,” you chuckled, poking the hard planes of his chest through his shirt. “Perhaps I have spent too long with the rabble and grown a conscience.”

“She dreams of being more,” Dream said to Matthew, his beak opening in a way that was reminiscent of how his jaw had dropped when you had first appeared to him over ten years ago.

“I dream of freedom,” you corrected, “something you can give me, Dream.”

“If you don’t complete the contract another will be sent in your place. Why should I give you anything?”

“Well, you do think I am beautiful.” You teased him with a wink. “And, the fool who gave me the contract was very loose with his wording. I have no intention of letting the contract lapse but I also don’t want to see you dead.”

“Why not?” 

Matthew was still gaping as he swivelled his head to his Lord. His beady eyes were wider than you thought possible and you could see his little brain wondering if the King of Dreams had a death wish. 

“The century with you imprisoned was absolutely shit for my sleep, why the fuck would I want to live an eternity like that?” 

“So selfless.” Dream drawled sarcastically before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a leather pouch. “This conversation is better continued in private.”

“You can’t surely mean to bring a lust demon to The Dreaming, Lord?”

You waved the bird from Dream’s shoulder before hooking your arm in his with a grin he almost seemed tempted to reciprocate. “I’ll only bite if you ask me nicely.”

You swore a small, dark chuckle warmed the air as he blew a handful of sand into the street, before his hand came to rest on yours and the world disappeared.

Cramps wracked your body and threatened to send you to your knees as you roamed the empty halls of the palace. The hunger was torturous and never ending. Without Morpheus you hadn’t been able to walk through lust-filled dreams and feed, and you had no idea when he would return. 

Last week you had been bathing in the revellers of a sex club in Soho, drunk from the heady pheromones you had inhaled. Now you were starving to taste just a kiss. 

Another wave of pain left you stumbling and the ground welcomed you as a shadow glided across the stone. 

A warm richness enveloped you as your head swayed and the walls blurred. “Dream?”

His arms cradled you gently as he lifted you from the cold floor and the sound of his heart beating thumped against your head that came to rest over it. “You should have called for me.” 

“I’m not a heartsick mortal,” you growled weakly. “I would rather starve than abase myself.”

“Stubborn demon.”

You could feel his eyes on you as he navigated the halls and a flicker of decadence teased your power until your stomach grumbled in response. Peeking out, you expended some reserves of energy to tip your head back and found Dream indeed staring at you.

That sweet taste filled your senses again, growing stronger with each moment he memorised your features. 

“Either you have a kink for being a saviour or you have been learning to mask your scent.”

His deep laugh grew with the taste of his lust and your eyes fluttered shut as you breathed it in. “Why can’t it be both?”

Your strength was returning as he passed through an arch, large doors slamming shut behind him so you were smothered in his essence. The air was thick with his power and you gasped as a surge of your own ignited against it, his room, his sanctuary. 

Unable to resist the offering, you reached for him, savage in your need that was rivalled by his. Your hand grasped his nape and pulled him closer until his breath warmed your lips and he closed the distance.

The kiss was a fight for dominance, a taste of what was to come, and you yielded to his touch as he backed you to the wall. Your body was hot and cold, fire and ice, as the cool stone bit at your back and his body heat licked at your front. 

Dream moaned as you grazed your teeth over his rapid pulse, “What is this spell…” 

“I have no need of spells,” you promised as you tipped your head back with a soft cry, his fingers dancing across your skin, up beneath your shirt.

“That, I believe,” he murmured, tugging your shirt over your head and stepping back to drink in the sight before him, the words of the contract still burned into your skin. “So beautiful.”

“No more talking,” you said as you stepped closer, inching him back to the canopy bed that was waiting. “I could waste away listening to you say that.”

The back of his knees hit the edge of the sheets and he caught your waist with a small smirk that took delight in your words. 

One second you were standing, the next he had turned and tossed you on your back among the silken sheets. Your lips parted to unleash your thoughts but they were stolen by the weight of his body above yours and his tongue leaving you witless. Those full pink lips of his left scorching heat in his wake as he kissed the thrumming pulse at your neck, across the hollow of your neck and between the swell of your breasts. 

“Morpheus,” you moaned as his tongue flicked your nipple and sent your back arching off the bed in response. Your fingers laced into his hair and held him there, willing him to do it again. His chuckle was barely audible but you felt the vibrations of it through every bone in your body and when he sealed his lips around the supple skin and his tongue swirled you saw stars. “Oh, hell.”

You could have come from that alone, especially when his thumb and forefinger teased the other nipple in time to his tongue. He had you panting for more. 

Maybe you had said that aloud because he broke away from your flesh with eyes sparkling like a million stars and reached for your pants. The taste of his kiss lingered on your tongue but it was his lust that you swallowed down, drinking your fill as he discarded the last piece of material that covered your body. 

He drew in a ragged breath and his hands shook as he touched you. His fingertips teased your skin as he brushed them over your ankles, along the line of your shin and circling your knees before he grabbed your thighs and pulled you down the bed. He pulled you right to the edge and stood tall between your spread legs, baring every inch of you to him - unafraid. 

“You are far too clothed for what I had in mind.”

His smirk grew and his thumbs caressed little circles against your inner thigh, each circle bringing him closer to where you needed his touch most. “Patience is a virtue.”

“Not to a demon,” you reminded him as a knuckle lightly passed over your sex and a hiss of air pulled through your teeth. 

You could see the length of his cock straining against his pants but he seemed oblivious to it as he toyed with you, basking in the sounds he could elicit with the smallest of touches. 

“You want your release, then take it,” he ordered as he ran two fingers through your folds, the evidence of your readiness slick on them before he curled them inside your core and stopped. “Take it.” 

You rolled your hips and moaned as it pressed his palm to your clit. Those eyes of his seemed to glow brighter as you rolled your hips against and palmed your breasts, taking your pleasure from him.

Your wanton cries filled the room as your core tightened around his fingers but before you could combust he pulled his hand away and dropped to his knees. His lips sealed over your clit and you screamed as he sucked the sensitive nub, tipping you over the knife's edge and into an orgasm that set the room on fire. Your power exploded as the well that had been empty was refilled and then overflowed. 

The contract written across your skin flared and dissolved as it was fulfilled, exhaustion of a different kind setting in as you lay amid the ash that fell like snowflakes.

Dream rose from the floor, his lips glistening, and quirked an eyebrow at the destruction of his room but with a wave of his hand the lingering flames were doused and the room was back as it was. With the distraction of the mess gone he immediately noticed the contract missing from your skin and knelt over you to trace his fingers over the empty space. 

“Abaddon really should have been more specific when he placed the contract on Lucifer’s behalf.” You laughed, imagining the fit the demon would throw when he realised Dream was still alive but the contract had been completed. “Bring him to his knees has a very different connotation to a lust demon.”

Smouldering eyes met yours as he cupped your face, a devilish smile playing at his lips. “You are one clever demon.”

Pride swelled in your chest and you bit your lip at the feel of him pressed between your legs. “And you are one overdressed lord.” 

He rolled onto his back, pulling you with him and as you rose above you found the cloak and every other scrap of clothing gone. His eyes were a sparkling abyss you were happy to get lost in as you lowered yourself upon him, gasping at the delicious burn of your body stretching to accommodate him, moaning at his fullness when your skin was flush with his. 

“Go on,” he dared as he cupped your breasts and pinched the hard peaks of your nipples, “take what you want. Feast.”

Rising to his challenge, you rolled your hips and took his pleasure, his lust. You took it all, over and over.

Click here to read the next instalment in The Anthology of Asmodeus' Heir: Lightbringer's Champion

#dream of the endless #dream of the endless x reader #morpheus x reader #morpheus smut #dream of the endless smut #the sandman #sandman fanfiction #dream x y/n

[damiansgoodgirll]

Angst with rhea ripely where she’s in love with reader but readers in a relationship maybe with damian or seth or someone else

someone is in the mood for crying i see

rhea ripley x reader / damian priest x reader

tw : angst (?)

love you better

you and rhea were like besties. you were the last person to join the judgement day, but no one in the team really cared because they treated you as family the moment you told the world that you joined the strongest faction in the whole wwe.

it was rhea’s idea to recru you as she saw potential in you.

you went from nxt to smackdown in less than a year and you couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity you had, but once you joined smackdown you so how poorly you got booked, mainly because the whole show evolved around the bloodline, and so it gave less opportunity to other wrestlers to prove themselves in the ring.

you got tired of waiting and waiting for your opportunity to come and you were seriously thinking of leaving and going back to nxt but before you could decide, your best friend rhea told you that she had a proposal for you.

when she told you about the judgement day, you were sceptical at first, you knew that you had to turn heal, and you didn’t really saw yourself being “the villain” but when she told you that you didn’t have to turn and that you could remain the same “you”, you knew you had to accept, and so you did.

being in the judgement day didn’t only brought you more fame and matches, it also gave you a family and a new relationship.

you and damian took off the moment you joined them. he was eager to have a new member and so he showed you everything you had to know. he helped you training, he showed you new moves and before you knew it you were both in love with each other.

you decided to keep it on low, no one knew, not even the other members. it was something new for you and you wanted to see how this relationship between the two of you would go.

rhea didn’t know it and of course she thought she could have her chance with you. she knew you liked both women and men, like she did and that made it easier for her.

“hey gorgeous” rhea called you the moment you stepped into the gym “how are you?” she asked you.

“oh i’m good, thanks, and you?” you smiled back.

“good…listen, what do you say if after training we both grabbed something to eat together?” she asked.

you thought about it and you knew that damian would step into the gym within any minute and even if you wanted to spend time with him, rhea was your friend and you didn’t want to disappoint her.

“sure, fine by me” you smiled at her.

“i can’t wait” rhea smiled back.

“can’t wait for what?” damian asked the both of you the moment the stepped into the gym.

“rhea and i are going out for lunch” you said while stretching.

“and i wasn’t invited?” he playfully said but rhea wasn’t that amused “where and when?”

“no one said you were invited, priest” rhea said back and even thought you knew she was joking, she sounded pretty mad.

“i get it! i get it! girls time! that means i’ll have y/n for the night” he teased and left for training. you blushed at his remark but you felt rhea’s eyes on you and you didn’t want her to know it.

“what?” she asked, not understanding the joke damian made.

“nothing…he was probably kidding, anyway do you mind helping me with these?” you asked her, pointing at the weights.

you all continued training like it was a normal and usual morning but rhea couldn’t stop looking at the way damian’s eyes would watch and observe every movement you made. your ass when you were doings squats, your tits moving when you were running on the treadmill and rhea wasn’t fully understanding of this behaviour.

“should we go now?” rhea asked you when it was lunch time. you nodded because you were starving and couldn’t wait to eat something.

you both took a quick shower and changed into cleaner clothes and took off for lunch.

when you were both seated, rhea couldn’t stop wondering what damian meant.

“what did he mean?” she asked you.

“who?”

“damian” she said.

“nothing…” you didn’t sound sure, also you hated lying to her.

“you’re lying…he meant something”

“i don’t think so…anyway, what do you want to eat?” you asked her and she dropped the conversation right here but you knew it wasn’t over.

you both ordered your food and ate it like it was just a normal day, she talked about her life and you did too, just two friends hanging out together. but rhea couldn’t stop the feeling that something was going on that you wouldn’t tell her.

“did you know damian’s eyes were all over your ass when you were training? i should talk to him, that behaviour is fucking disgusting” she said and even if you wanted to act surprised.

“really? i hadn’t noticed…”

“you sure?” she asked you.

“yup” you avoided her eyes.

“are you and damian dating?” she asked. she hoped you said no. she hoped you said you loved her. but your reply broke her heart.

“is it that obvious?” you asked.

“what-what you mean?”

“we started dating right after i joined you but we wanted to keep it a secret…but since you found out we’re not doing a good job at hiding it” you said finishing your drink.

rhea was speechless. the woman she loved, the woman who stood in front of her just confessed she was dating someone else.

“rhea? are you mad? we were gonna tell you and the team but we thought it was too early" you said, hoping she would understand.

“no - i totally get it…” she said “i’m happy for you…” she half smiled.

“thanks…anyway, should we leave? i feel like i need to practice a little more on the moves damian taught me” you said going to pay the bill.

rhea nodded and followed you.

once you both reached the gym, she waited for you to go out of the car, waiting for you to go inside, waiting for let those tears cry after holding them for hours.

“aren’t you coming?” you asked when you saw her still behind the wheel.

“i need to do a few things home” she said. you nodded and quickly thanked her, she simply smiled and drove off.

she let those tears fall while driving back home, knowing that it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair that you chose damian instead of her, to her, it wasn’t fair that you fell in love with him, she knew she could love you better, you just simple didn’t give her the opportunity.

#wwe #wwe x reader #wwe imagine #wwe x you #wwe imagines #wwe oneshot #wwe one shot #wwe story #wwe fanfiction #wwe x original character #wwe x oc #wwe raw #wwe rhea ripley #rhea ripley imagine #rhea ripley #rhea ripley imagines #rhea ripley x reader #damian priest x reader #damian priest #damian priest x oc #damian priest oneshot #rhea ripley fluff #rhea ripley angst #damian priest imagine #damian priest fluff #damian priest smut #rhea ripley one shot #wwe rhea ripley x reader #rhea x reader #rhea ripley wwe

[like-what-the-fuck-scoob]

🔮 I’ll take your example: what turns Bucky on?

What Turns Bucky Barnes On? - Tarot Reading 🔮 (18+)

This is for my 1k celebration event! Submissions are still open until Sunday!

4 of Wands - This card represents stability and commitment, such as marriage or at the very least a lengthy relationship. It suggests that Bucky would only feel comfortable being sexually intimate around people he felt a deep connection with. Essentially, he won't have sex with just anyone. He will only give his body to those he can envision a future with. This makes sense for Bucky, as he has experienced so much over the years, he is probably just tired and ready to settle down with a long term partner.

5 of Cups - This card represents heart ache and trauma. It suggests that in relationships, Bucky looks for potential partners who are emotionally intelligent, and understand the complexities of what trauma can do to a person. He needs someone who will accept him despite his past, and help support his triggers and traumatic memories. This man is in need of tender loving, and he won't feel comfortable sleeping with someone until they have formed a deeper, emotional connection.

6 of Pentacles - This card represents kindness and compassion, and again suggests that Bucky is extremely turned on by a deep, emotional connection. He looks for people who are naturally caring, who will love him without judgement, who will tend to his needs. This card could also suggest that during sex, Bucky likes to be a 'reciever' and feel validated by both vocal and physical stimulation from an intimate partner.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky smut #marvel x reader #marvel #marvel bucky #marvel smut #marvel bucky smut #bucky x reader smut

[skyfallscotland]

So this has been in my head all day and I just had to get it out. I don't know if I'll just leave it here or uh...yeah. @justallihere I want you to know you're taking FULL responsibility for this nonsense. This is your fault 🫡

(consider this some AU world where Tyrrendor successfully seceded years ago, Xaden is king, and they have their own riders academy but Tairn still bonded Violet because he lives to make Xaden's life difficult, also...violet/cam/liam has a certain appeal to it...no, someone stop me)

“You know you can enjoy yourself while you’re here.” Violet Sorrengail says judgementally. “If you’re forced to follow me around, you may as well have some fun.” 

“I’m not forced to follow you around.” He replies immediately, shifting on his feet as his eyes scan the dark tavern, noting each of the patrons lingering by the bar. It’s true he’s not. His brother had asked and he had accepted. It’s the least he can do while they try and figure out how to deal with this—the mess that Tairn has caused, bonding a rider from Navarre.

“Sure you’re not.” There’s that judgemental tone again.

“Perhaps I just enjoy your company.” He tosses back, a hint of flirtation in his voice. Violet eyes his boyish grin before snorting, shaking her head as she picks up her drink—some sweet-looking lavender concoction. 

“And if I decide to enjoy someone else’s?” She challenges, a hint of conceit in her voice as she leans around him, nodding her head. “Like maybe Prince Cam’s? He’s been watching me since we got here.”

Liam’s head whips around and he instinctively moves to the side, shielding Violet’s body with his own as his eyes search out Navarre’s third prince. It takes a moment to find him, shrouded in darkness where he sits in the far corner of the tavern, boot on his knee as he nurses a glass of bourbon, his posture unnervingly relaxed. 

He can’t quite make out the other man’s eyes across the room, but he knows from memory they’re a deep forest green, just like the rest of his family. “Yeah, totally fine with it.” Violet says sarcastically, drawing his attention back to her. She looks pointedly at his torso and the way it’s shifted automatically to shield her from the prince’s view. 

“I’m not forced to do anything.” He insists, dragging his attention back to their conversation. “But I am here to keep you safe and that,” he shifts his eyes back to Cam, “is not safe for you—not anymore.” 

It’s entirely out of her control—out of all theirs—but Violet Sorrengail is now the key to taking down Tyrrendor, so regardless of how she might feel about it, he’s going to protect her and that means not going anywhere near Navarrian royalty. “I’ll go and see what he wants.” Liam says sternly, his hand on the shorter girl’s shoulder. “Go back to your friends.” 

Her jaw tightens and she opens her mouth like she might protest, but clearly thinks better of it. “Fine.” She rolls her eyes, swiping up her drink and turning on her heel. She tosses one final glance over her shoulder towards the dark corner the subject of their conversation is in, but otherwise doesn’t falter, storming back over to her squad.

He watches, waiting for her to be safely ensconced between Rhiannon and Ridoc before striding slowly to the other side of the tavern, moving easily through the Saturday evening revelry until he’s standing over a man he’s only ever seen in passing.

“Liam Mairi.” The prince’s lips tick up. He drags his eyes up over Liam’s frame as the blond rider does the same. He’s sprawled out in the chair, relaxed as could be, his knees slightly spread as he takes a long draw of liquor. “Come to threaten me away from Sorrengail?” 

“You know who I am.” It’s half statement, half question. 

“I made it my business to know.” He taps his fingers on the table in front of him. “A Tyrrish citizen attending Basgiath War College? That sort of news travels fast.” 

Liam crosses his arms over his chest. “What do you want?”

Cam’s lips tick up like that’s something amusing. “Many things.” He pauses for a moment, studying Liam’s face. “Where’s your king?” 

Liam tenses. “In Aretia. Obviously.” He tries to appear as relaxed as the prince in front of him, but he’s certain he fails. “Xaden has a country to run, unlike…some.” His tone is mocking, challenging in a way he should probably refrain from, given his status as a diplomatic representative. 

“Yes, it’s terrible being third in line. I really detest having all this free time to do whatever I like, truly.” He downs the rest of the bourbon in his glass, dropping it onto the table. “Tell me, does she know?” He climbs to his feet, circling around the table slowly, like a predator. “Do you plan on filling her in? After all, it’s only fair given the danger it puts her in—being bound to your king.”

“She doesn’t know.” Liam lowers his voice threateningly, “and you’re not going to tell her.” Blue meet forest green in a fierce glare. “Interesting that you do though,” he moves closer until there’s only an inch or two separating them. “I guess that means you’re just like the rest of your family—happy to sit back and watch the world burn.” 

That gets a reaction out of him, the younger man stepping forward with a snarl on his lips. “You know nothing about me.” He looks up into Liam’s eyes. “You riders always think yourselves so superior to everyone else.” His voice drops to a low murmur, barely audible over the revelry of the tavern. “Just because I’m not flying around on the back of a dragon, doesn’t mean I’m doing nothing.”

He’s slightly shorter than Liam but just as well built and when he steps further into the blond’s space, Liam can’t help but look. His sandy brown hair is immaculately styled, his clothes are clean and pressed, and when he glances down even the man’s boots shine. It’s obvious he doesn’t belong here but…there’s something in the way the other man holds himself—with a spine of steel—that stirs something within him. That same steel is reflected in his eyes. 

“So what are you doing?” He murmurs, the corner of his lips quirking up mockingly. “What’s your plan to help fight a war your family would stop at nothing to keep quiet?” Cam’s jaw is clenched, like he’s fighting to keep something in, rather than speak his mind. Almost against his will, Liam’s hand rises, his fingers sliding over the scruff on the other man’s jawline as he cups it gently. “All that power and what do you have to show for it?”

Cam’s lips part, his eyes roving over the blond’s face. “Nothing I can talk about here.” His green eyes are hard, unflinching as he tilts his head, pressing his cheek into Liam’s hand.

“Are you asking to get me alone?” The Tyrr’s lips curve up in a smirk.

“Would you like that?” The prince fires back.

He would actually. The shock of that revelation has him faltering, his usually unflappable composure dissipating as he stares down at the slow, arrogant smile spreading across full pink lips. 

“Tell your king I want to speak to him, Mairi.” The younger man whispers, reaching up to lace his fingers through Liam’s before removing the blond’s hand from his face. It feels like it takes an eternity for their hands to separate, his fingers sliding purposefully over Liam’s own. “Whenever that dragon of his drags him back here.” The prince turns to leave, his torso brushing Liam’s as he slides past him, far too close for it to be considered accidental. 

“And where will you be until then?” Liam enquires, his eyes dark.

Cam looks over his shoulder, a smirk on his lips. “I’ll be around.” He disappears into the crowd, going unnoticed by the rest of the taverns patrons and Liam watches him go, a dangerous, terrible curiosity stirring in his chest. 

He remains frozen for a moment, unmoving until a flash of silver catches his eye and he shakes it off, striding across the floor to rejoin his new squad.

“That looked like it went well.” There’s laughter in Violet Sorrengail’s voice and a hint of arrogance as she ribs him. “I’m glad you took care of it.” A sarcastic grin slides over her face as she lifts her drink to her lips. “I’m fine here if you need to take care of anything else.”

He stares at her, unimpressed. “Very funny.”

“Mhmm.” She hums, her eyes dancing with mischief. “First time with a man?” This woman is entirely too smart for her own good and it’s only going to cause him more and more headaches as time goes on, he just knows it. 

“I’m not into men.” He shuts her down. 

“You’re a consummate flirt, Liam Mairi.” She laughs. “I refuse to believe that.” 

But he’s not lying. Consummate flirt he may be, but he’s never been interested in anyone of the male gender…until now. Liam knows himself and his own mind well. He’s not into men, but Navarre’s third prince and his quiet arrogance, his ridiculously green eyes and the way his skin feels beneath Liam’s hands? That…that he may be into. 

Shit. 

#they are my new babies and i love them #why do i have a cute parapet scene circling around my brain now; send help #liam/cam #liam mairi #liam mairi/cam #fourth wing fanfic

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for staying friends with someone when I don’t like them much?

Just to clarify before the rest of this ask, I have never voiced anything I’m about to say to them, or to anyone for that matter. I don’t treat them any differently to any of my other friends when I’m with them, and the only time I’ve ever talked about them negatively behind their back was when my best mate brought it up and we were only discussing how they acted in one particular situation, not making judgements on their character.

Anyway, I (15M) have been friends with someone who we’ll call Ash (16NB) for a couple of years now. Last year, I never really considered myself that close to them, and although I was vaguely aware I wasn’t that big on them, it was never really a thing because they weren’t a close friend of mine, so I just treated them like any of my friends. However, in the past 5 or so months they’ve gotten a lot closer to me, referring to me as their best friend. As a result, I’ve ended up spending more time with them. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate them. There are plenty of things about them that I like- they often talk about their story world that they’ve made up, and I really like hearing about it, plus I generally have a good time when I’m hanging out with them outside of school. There’s not anything wrong with them, beyond being kind of overdramatic and calling every bad thing that happens to them trauma regardless of how minor it is. With anyone else, I wouldn’t care about this. Most of my friends have many more, much worse flaws that I ignore because I like them as people. Problem is, I don’t really like Ash as a person. This is kind of out of character for me- usually if I don’t like someone it’s because they’ve wronged me or one of my friends- but for no clear reason I just don’t click with them. I never feel like I can be completely honest with them, they never really make me laugh and we often miscommunicate in a way I don’t with any of my other friends- I tend to be pretty blunt (autism) especially in text messages, and as a result they interpret what I mean either as an honest note or as a joke as a snide comment, e.g. they made a typo that made their message hard to understand, and I pointed that out because I wanted to get what they were saying, but they took it as a personal attack. Probably our worst misunderstanding was when they asked me out, and I tried to respond by saying that I thought they were hot (they are hot) but I didn’t want us going out to ruin our friendship, which they ended up interpreting as me accepting them and now they think we’re going out I think? I’m not sure. Anyway, what was once just not taking a huge liking to them has boiled into full on resentment because of how much they like me, which makes me feel bad that I don’t like them back, and that I can’t acknowledge how I feel about them to anyone because I’m not an asshole. I know this ask makes me sound like a proper shithead, but rest assured I treat them nicely and they’re quite insecure so I’m certain they’d tell me if they thought I didn’t like them. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t get myself to like them, and if I was honest with them it’d probably make them utterly devastated, but if my best friend didn’t like me I would much prefer to know and if I continue like this I fear I’ll end up blaming Ash for my dislike of them more and more and might end up lashing out at them without meaning to. I really don’t know what to do.

TLDR, am I the asshole for lying to them and letting it get this far, and should I be honest with them, or should I keep on like this and hope the friendship dies naturally?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[kiwiaok]

aftg is eating up my brain so badly, I have a constant stream of ideas and I’m shit at actually writing them but I need to get them out of my system bc it’s suffocating, so:

• an au where king and sir turn out to be shapeshifters so andreil magically acquire two spoiled kids

• andreil saying to each other ‘IU’ instead of ‘I hate you’ or ‘I love you’ or anything else. they use it in every kind of situation bc it’s the testament of how much they feel about each other and that’s more important to them than anything else. they’re fighting? IU (I hate you, I’m scared for you, I’m scared of how much power you have over me, I still want you to stay) they’re having sex? IU (I trust you, I love you, I’m going to take care of you, I’ll make you feel good) they’re breaking down? IU (I’ve got you, I’m here, I’m going to stay, I’m going to help best I can)

• a fic where neil dies in baltimore and we see the aftermath told from his perspective as a ghost: introspection, character study, cannibalism, polaroids, inspired by strangers by ethel cain:

• neil taking great pleasure in buying andrew expensive things and seeing him use them, not out of possessiveness but bc he truly just wants andrew to be happy and taken care of. and andrew learning to accept those gifts bc neil never wants anything in return, not even gratitude

• neil getting drugged at eden’s by some stranger and proceeding to glue himself to andrew’s side. the next day andrew is frustrated by that show of trust and he asks how neil could know that it wasn’t him doing the drugging. to which neil replies that he didn’t know that, but he knew that andrew wouldn’t drug him or let anyone touch him without a good reason. so it was okay, he just needed to trust andrew’s judgement and stick by him. and then andrew realising just how much faith neil has in him and having a breakdown about it

• after neil’s bad days, andrew spoons neil and keeps his hand wrapped around neil’s throat while they’re sleeping. it makes neil feel safe and grounded and makes andrew drunk on trust and control (bonus scene: foxes witnessing this one day and completely failing at understanding their dynamic)

• neil getting into a habit of spitting after his time at the nest bc riko used to spit into his mouth and make him swallow it as a power play. whenever neil remembers it the thought of any spit in his mouth, even his own, makes him sick. so he spits

• whenever aaron is on the edge of relapsing instead of telling anyone he just trails after andrew 24/7 bc he knows his brother won’t let him destroy his life

• tlou au where andrew is traveling the world in search of his twin brother and he’s hired to transport neil somewhere. meanwhile, they fall in love with each other and they find out andrew was supposed to deliver neil into his father’s hands (andrew promised neil safety and he refuses to break his promise so this becomes the first job andrew ever failed)

• andreil breaking up and neil desperately trying to prove to himself that he can move on so he takes the page from andrew’s books and starts sleeping around, but he only succeeds in hurting himself and feeling miserable (they get back in the end bc I need them to be happy)

• OH MY GOD HORNY KANDREIL CLASSICAL MUSIC AU!! kevin (and neil?) playing violin and drew being freakishly good at playing every instrument he ever touches but especially the piano. kev giving a performance and andreil sitting in the first row, neil getting a hard on bc kevin looks so good in his suit, with slightly greying hair combed back and passion burning in his eyes. andrew discretely edging him on, palming neil’s dick through the fancy suit’s material and keeping eye contact with kevin the whole time

AND SO MUCH MORE AAAAAA. this is insufferable, I’m writing fics in my head to fall asleep and then I’m waking up literally quoting aftg (genuinely happened last week, I felt like a lunatic) and then I’m going to uni and I spend every lecture thinking about how I can use my degree to better write about those stupid murderous college athletes. what kind of crack did you put in this series, nora?????

#aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #andreil #neil josten #andrew minyard #fanfiction #ao3 #aftg trilogy #kandreil #kiwiaok

[pourcap]

thoughts: kr chapter 14

Damen spent two fruitless hours with Nikandros trying to plot a course (...), until Laurent wandered in and outlined a plan so outrageous that Damen had said yes with the feeling that his mind was splitting apart. how much pleasure do you think laurent got out of damen going with his plan instead of nikandros'?

(...) the young, triple-crowned Pallas, Lazar, who had whistled at him, (...) i would like a pallas x lazar spinoff

(...) Damen tried not to think too deeply about the reasons why Laurent thought it necessary to bring a physician. i reread chapter 13 and honestly i wouldn't be surprised if damen was worried about injury while laurent was planning for something else, like jokaste said: "he has his own plans." idk what he's expecting to happen but maybe the 'outrageous plan' and paschal being with them means more? ugh no idea

(...) ‘I see. My wife is the leverage for my good behaviour?’ ‘That’s right,’ said Laurent. is it just me or is easily admitting to something not really characteristic of laurent? i want to know how he said it. was it just "that's right" or was it "that's right" with a glint of "you're so dumb" flickering in his eyes? every chapter i read i think of that one part in book 1 (i think??) where damen tells laurent he doesn't think laurent does anything without ten different motives (that's me paraphrasing obv, i can't remember the exact words :/)

Damen dropped the pitcher. stop

Laurent’s arms were bare. His throat was bare. His collarbone was bare, and most of his thighs, his long legs, and all of his left shoulder. Damen stared at him. horny damen is back!!!! <3333

Laurent sat down. (...) It was even shorter sitting down. he's not even listening, is he?

'Yes. Sorry,’ said Damen. And then: ‘What were you saying?“ lmao i loooove damen so much

They had only twelve soldiers. Twelve-ish, amended Damen, thinking of Paschal and Guion. let me repeat that: i love damen (and his sass)

of course nikandros disagrees. remember when laurent asked damen if he thought nikandros would like him? i guess we all know the answer lol (maybe someday ☻)

'I wish to restate my strong objection,’ said Nikandros. ‘It’s noted,’ said Damen. I LOOOVE DAMEN

Even so, Damen heard himself saying. ‘You can’t just barge in on—’ ‘Open the wagon,’ said the Captain, ignoring him. if only this dude knew who he's really speaking to

also how are they getting out of this lol

Laurent stepped out of the wagon, (...). He said, ‘How did you convince Jokaste to play along with the guards?’ ‘I didn’t,’ said Laurent. no way

He tossed the wad of blue silk in his hands to one of the soldiers to dispose of, then shrugged into his jacket in a rather mannish gesture. IN A RATHER MANNISH GESTURE

laurent is so hot

i'm so sorry but he's literally so hot

"Don't think about it too much,' said Damen. can you believe how far laurent and damen have come? the easy acceptance of each other's personalities, the appreciation for how much they've helped and will continue to help each other by one person making up for what the other lacks, the absence of judgement? and just, in general, how well they know each other by now? i just love them. i love them.

Laurent held out his hand to escort her back from the supply wagon into the main wagon, a bored Veretian gesture. Her eyes had the same bored look as she took his hand. ‘You’re lucky we’re alike,’ she said, stepping down. They looked at one another like two reptiles. i imagine nikandros staring at damen right now and i know exactly what his face would look like

(...) ‘I’ll be swift, and I’ll take our best rider with me.’ ‘That’s me,’ said Laurent, wheeling his horse. i just think they're very sexy

'The undergrowth was thinner when I was a boy.’ ‘Or you were.' stop flirting omg (jk pls go on)

damen constantly thinking about all the nice places he wants to take laurent and the people he wants to introduce him to and the memories he wants to make with him... it's doing things to me. he's so in love. they're so in love. <3

'You left the dress in the wagon,’ said Damen. ‘Thank you, I do have other ways of getting past a sentry.' yay more flirting!

'You’re late,’ said Damen. ‘I brought you a souvenir.’ Laurent tossed Damen an apricot. Damen could feel the quiet exultation of Laurent’s men, while the Akielons looked a little dazed. laurenttttt (i said that with a squeal)

‘Is this how you do things in Vere?’ ‘You mean effectively?’ said Laurent. (...) lauuuureeeennttttt <33333 (he's so cute and i love him and i know damen's competency kink just flared up again but can laurent pls stop needling nikandros lol)

(...) Earlier, Laurent had tossed Damen his bedroll and said, ‘Unpack this,’ and Pallas had almost challenged him to a duel for the insult. (...) imagine if pallas knew even half of all that happened between damen and laurent lol. also it's not like damen is a perfect gentleman but, you know. i appreciate the loyalty (and love pallas)

Damen poured a shallow cup of wine and passed it to the soldier beside him (Pallas), and there was a long silence in which Pallas stood obviously garnering every piece of courage that he had to reach out and take it. damen is so good to his men; i love that he knows pallas meant well, so this is a nice gesture. also, bc it's just impossible to ignore: damen is so hot.

Laurent strolled up to the impasse, threw himself down on the log next to Damen, and in an expressionless voice launched into the story of the brothel adventure that had earned him the blue dress, which was so unabashedly filthy it made Lazar blush, and so funny it had Pallas wiping his eyes. (...) i just got super emotional bc remember when in the beginning of book 2, damen told laurent he needed to bond with his men in a way that wasn't just manipulation and laurent said he didn't have time for that? i love that it's happening now, and has of course been happening for a while, but that laurent is coming more out of his shell and actually enjoying himself now and then.

Pallas did a decent impression of Paschal’s riding. Lazar watched Pallas with lazy admiration. It wasn’t the impression he was admiring. Damen bit into the apricot. 1) i will read all the lazar x pallas fics there are. 2) damen always noticing the soldiers flirting is so funny to me. first jord and aimeric, now these two

laurent and damen lying side by side under the stars ahhhhh

'You smell of horse,’ said Damen. ‘It’s how I got past the dog.' whyyyy am i so emotional? can you believe i'm crying over damen saying laurent smells lol

'You want me wandering around the Akielon countryside naked at night?’ And then, ‘You smell just as much of horse as I do.’ ‘More,’ said Damen. He was smiling. he was smiling !!!! and i am crying now :)

'They’re Artesian. Aren’t they? From the old empire, Artes. They say it used to span both our countries.' bring it back! bring back artes!

Damen heard himself say it. ‘There’s a summer palace in Ios outside the capital. (...)' His pulse beat with uncharacteristic nerves, so that he felt almost shy. ‘When all this is over . . . we could take horses and stay a week in the palace.’ (...) He felt Laurent holding himself carefully, and there was a strange pause. After a moment, Laurent said, softly, ‘I’d like that.’ you know how i just said i was crying? i am sobbing now :) damen and laurent both being shy and cute and in love and full of yearning for peace and happiness 😭 I love them so much 😭

that was such a good chapter :')

#i genuinely loved this #capri #captive prince #damen #laurent #damen of akielos #damianos #damianos of akielos #laurent of vere #lamen