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#the only other ship ive felt so strongly for
tannieastrology · 2 years
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Ranting about my crush
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This is gonna be a long rant so be prepared! I’m gonna start by telling you our placements.
He is a Gemini Rising, Cancer Sun, Capricorn Moon, Leo Venus, Virgo Mars
I am a Libra Rising, Aquarius sun, Scorpio Moon, Capricorn Venus, Gemini Mars
So about three or four years ago in 6th grade I had met him in school because we had a class together for history. At first sight I never really thought much of him. He wasn’t my type (he’s very short) and we never talked much. He was just any other boy I knew in class and I remember actually liking an upperclassman at the time.
A year later in 7th grade the feelings for the upperclassman went away and I was crush-free. Me and him joined crosscountry for the first semester and we started talking a little more. It wasn’t much, I mean, I can only remember talking to him like 3 or 4 times, but everytime we talked he was always harsh and sarcastic. Maybe it was because I was a top athlete and student at the time so maybe he was bitter because he was struggling in athletics? I’m not sure because honestly, I’m still trynna figure that out. He was always supportive when I ran though and I can remember the times when he used to cheer me on. We had no classes together and we were not important to each others lives at all. Thats all I can remember from our interactions that year.
Now the third year, which was 8th grade last year, was when things started to change. I had about four classes with him and we also had extracurriculars outside of school like choir and athletics. I used to talk to his friends and they used to tease me a lot because thats just how we talk to each other. I guess he saw I was comfortable with their bickering so he got in on it and now, that’s our regular way of talking because that’s how we bonded. Our relationship is weird to say the least. Its like provoking the other gives a certain satisfaction. The constant insults, the competitiveness, the jokes, and time spent together all eventually made me fall for him. It wasnt until my birthday in January that made me realize I liked him. No happy birthday came through from him, but then again, we’re not close. After that, everything he did started to do upset me. It made me wonder. Why does he talk to me like that? Does he hate me? Or do I hurt his ego? It was just that he actually started to insult me and started to make sterotypical racist jokes even when I asked him countless of times to stop. Cause I’m Indian and he’s Vietnamese right, so he thought it was okay to make those types of jokes because he’s asian too. The fact that I like him made me more sensitive to what he said compared to other people. Because he never talks to anyone else like that and we werent even that close for him to be talking to me in that way. Each day my mood depended on how he talked to me. I got obsessed and I used to zone out wondering if he liked me back. What made everything more complicated was that he liked 2 other girls. The first girl was my friend. They liked each other in 6th grade but they were too shy to approach each other. When 7th grade came around he started liking the 2nd girl. He was really down bad for the second girl and still is. My friend had asked him out during the first semester but he said no because he like the 2nd girl more. Throughout the year all of our laughs and bickering eventually had alot of people shipping us including my science teacher because they think we have a enemies to lovers relationship. All I can say is that he had me on edge. Ive never felt this strongly about anyone before. He was nice one day when he needed answers and then the next day he was back to annoying me. I’m not gonna lie sometimes it was really cute but a majority of the times he crossed the line. So much happened within the year that I cant even explain everything but all I know is that I’m down bad.
Now freshman year has rolled around. I have no classes with him which is great because I’m trying to move on but its not working. The girl he’s liked for three years got asked out by his best friend to homecoming and I’m sitting here hoping for more. In the summer I talked to him over text and told him to back off the insults which clearly didnt work. I tried to ignore him and be nice to him so many times but he always comes back and bothers me. And this bitch always stares at me so intensely like he wants to kill me. Its frustrating that he got me stuck in this endless loop of mind games. I dont know how things are gonna end up. Ive held this in for so long I just needed to let it out. Thank you for listening.
Heres the synastry and composite chart in case yall want to see. He’s blue and I am red
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I’d love to hear about your story of unrequited crushes! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think of him and why he acts like that!
-Simi
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quarktrinity · 4 months
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quark watches star trek season 1 episode 7
ok were looking for this lady christines ex.
hes definitely dead
"dr korby"
what kind of bras do they have these ladies wearing
oh hes alive! neat!!
this episode is called "what are little girls made of?" bad omen i think
"can you beam down by yourself captain kirk?" hes going to kill you
this set looks like a zoo exhibit
"beam down two security men" theyre going to die
kirk stop grabbing her shes engaged
dramatic lights!!!
random other guy!
alien!!!
"bottomless pit" shut up
ok so this is where the redshirt thing came from
"dr korby was detained" what
why do you call dr brown "brownie"
dr brown is so evil
so were just skimming over the fact that a guy just fucking died
ohhhh nooooo not the other red shiiirrrrt
this is the most 60s secret lab ive ever seen
woah other woman. christine is obviously jealous
oh hey dr korby
WOW that is the most lustful kiss ive ever seen on television
woooaaahhhh these people are eeeviiiiil who couldve seen this comiiiiing
ok dr brown is a robot apparently
oh shit the alien guy can mimic kirks voice. the actors pretty good at lip syncing too
the aliens not allowed to disobey christines orders. hi chekhov is that ur gun on the table there?
"ruk destroyed them both totally against my wishes, i assure you" sure dude
"the old ones" shut up
this fight choreography is extremely homoerotic
does this show ever pass the bechdel test like ever?
andreas overalls are so stupid
ok so andreas a robot. korby showed this by having her kiss kirk. thats not consensual! go away!!!
theyre turning kirk into a robot??? they had to strip his clothes to do that???
theyre spinning him around. stop spinning him. please
apparently this guys fiancee used to be his student? thats icky
STOP SPINNING HIM
this show is so determined to sexualize kirk at every given opportunity. normally im fine with this but only when he has agency about it
theyre having gummies for dinner
andrea: "i am now programmed to please you, also. is the food appealing?" christine: "yes, thank you" star trek has now passed the bechdel test
this episode seems to have a theme about following orders
oh this episode is also about transhumanism
this episode is strongly criticizing transhumanism
kirk rolls a nat 20 on sleight of hand
hey kirk remember when ruk agreed to follow christines orders. how about you tell her that
oh she knows??? why didnt she take advantage of that before
i love when this show decides to enter the horror genre for a while. its great
weirdly phallic image of kirk holding a dick-shaped stalactite
cameras waaaayyyy too close for this fight choreo. cant tell whats going on
oh ruk is helping him!! yay!
uh oh robot kirk is on the ship
robot kirk commits a hatecrime against spock
"i felt quite at home on the enterprise" what do you mean "felt"
real kirk stop making out with the robot girl. what are you doing
stop trying to seduce the robot girl shes not into you leave her alone
this episode is also about the singularity
jesus christ korby just fuckin killed ruk
korbys a robot too :O literally didnt see that coming
robo korby is having such an existential crisis rn
andreas in love with korby apparently. ok
andrea and korby are dead now
spock: "dont call me slurs" kirk: "ok" (paraphrased) so does spock not know what happened. like at all
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brucie · 9 months
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gojo for the ask game!
haaaiiiiiiii selina how are u doing <33 we havent talked in so long i hope school is good etc and you're doing well
as for gojo...
First impression: i rly thought he was like, the overpowered-but-not-main character that's also the mentor so sorta two roles... like how luke was to percy in the pjo series vibes except i didn't think gojo was evil.
Impression now: he's my favorite silly goofy guy with the air of melancholy around him. that one friend that never got over The Incident. i also believe strongly that he's gay for sure and i do not GET people who ship him with utahime who legit dislikes him like leave the woman be. he's also such a kind person at heart like what he does being a teacher and how he is with kids and his goals in general.
Manga spoilers (shibuya) below! if u wanna read the rest, u can skip points favorite moment and favorite relationship.
Favorite moment: my fave moment with gojo...... it's not like a ~favorite~ moment more like the thing that moved me the most with him was when he saw kenjaku in geto's body and their entire friendship flashed through him and he was useless for a moment. it felt like the emotional climax to the stsg dynamic rather than him killing geto, in story and from a clinical plotpoint view too... they needed to get rid of him and the only way to do that was geto('s body.) i don't know if gege planned that since before the series aka when he wrote jjk0 if he planned this, but he certainly had this fixed when he started jjk and that's so interesting to me. they were made to be narrative foils but gojo is the only one left in their dynamic and it's just soooooo scrumptious to me.
Idea for a story: I definitely have had some thoughts brewing in mind for a god!gojo au of some kind, not set in canon verse because it's so complicated but some kind of other au. he meets all these people frm cast (mainly his kids) + geto and experiences what it's like to be human (falls in love) and gives up his godhood to become human. i'd love to write something like that one day
Unpopular opinion: HE'S NOT BUILTTTT WITH AN 8 PACK. YALL Y/N CREATORS IN THE TAGS CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP. he's lanky and he's like, lean at BEST. being GENEROUS. he's so overpowered yall think he's hitting the gym. stop. he's a lanky guy.
Favorite relationship: i mean i've already written allat about stsg which i'm not gonna repeat BUT something truly equally important to me is his relationship w megumi. adopting+raising him while gojo himself literally was a child and having killed his father... ive been waiting for that little arc/plot bunny to be fulfilled since i read it. how megumi will react, how it will affect their relationship long term. and i fully love the goofy adult grumpy kid dynamic.
Favorite headcanon: oh it HAS to be he was shit with girls in school and unpopular. of course later he finds out he's gay but then turns out he's shitty with men too. zero flirting skills. zero rizz. zero people skills in general. the only people who can stand him are shoko and geto.
THANKS for sending this innnn omg it was sooo fun <333
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chihirolovebot · 2 years
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hey venus, i hope you're doing well, and if not, i hope things get better for you soon. i'm here for you if you need anything, and remember to hydrate and eat something if you haven't already!
hmmm, an unpopular opinion?? ....i feel like. okay. i like kaimaki and kiiruma as ships in theory. the dynamics are cute and i think the characters could balance each other nicely! the way they're written in game though irritates me. i feel like kiiruma could've gotten sweeter moments together that kinda show that they care a lot sooner than...throwing the maintenance scene at us in chapter 3. ( which already makes me Squint ) and miu could've used more down to earth moments, as much as i like her. ( and i know part of it is. kodaka specifically trying to make her "everything someone would hate in a woman" which i don't like at all ) and i know kiibo brings up miu after she dies, but also it felt like none of the cast tried to comfort him and it annoys me. and then kaimaki feels like. "Oh I Harassed Her Into Liking Me" you know, the really not great trope you see in romance movies?? like i'm not opposed to maki opening up, i just wish she did it more out of her own volition rather than kaito having to pull a lot of it out of her. it also feels like maki didn't really get to be her own character after kaito inserted himself. idk, i might be stupid sndjdjdgs
god. i could go on about the missed potential with miu, kiibo, and maki. kaito is on thin ice though /hj
take care of yourself, vee. and have a lovely day, my dear <3
-☀️ sunshine anon
strongly disagree | disagree | neutral | agree | strongly agree
no surprise that rei would come in with the big brain takes!! i feel the same, though i definitely enjoy kiiruma and lot more than kaimaki. replaying the game they actually have a few subtle moments before The Scene, like when miu is rambling abt the computers used in chapter four and shuichi notices that kiibo is literally jealous. of a computer. i also noticed than during miu's trial kiibo was very focused and had zero comic relief moments, only trying to get to the truth of the case as quickly as possible, evidenced when he was one of the only people who stuck up for shuichi wanting to suspect gonta.
that said, yeah, they definitely weren't super fleshed out in canon. personally the concept of them / their fanon versions are what carries this ship for me. they're kinda very sweet to me, idkidk i know they're not objectively well-written but smth about them makes me squeal.
as for kaimaki. okay. i have a lot of thoughts on them but idk how to put them into words. like i've voiced my opinion to you abt kaito before and i think he's good for someone like maki in general, like, learning to open up and trust in others in definitely a valuable lesson for her specifically to learn. but yeah it does feel very, uh... tsundere-ish at times which is not smth i enjoy. i would've liked to see maki's development tied to maybe shuichi and himiko rather than solely kaito, her explicit love interest, idk. im not HUGE on maki or kaito as characters really, i try to scale them back a lil in my fic lol.
as for missed potential, dont get me started. i could seriously go for hours. miu is maybe the worst contender in v3. what little depth she gets is literlly AFTER she dies, when kokichi i think tells us abt her trust issues - or maybe it's even kaito lamenting what kokichi told him, so it's basically all through the grapevine. that could've been super interesting if they'd only. like. tried to explore it a little bit. i would've loved to see more of her relationship with kokichi, because it sounded like they spent a lot of time together behind the scenes. idk. love miu i just wish they did more with her in general.
how are you doing rei?? im sorry this has been fermenting for a few days. ive been spending a lot of time w my family :D
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musiclover2732 · 9 months
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I know you liked the response murakamijune gave, so I will ask you the same questions: You a big fan of Zexal? Any favorite ships, characters, episodes, etc.? Do you watch sub or dub? Sorry if the short skirts and fanservice in the sub was offensive. 😣😔
thank you for asking this! i am a huge zexal fan, i might go as far as to say it’s my favorite show ever. i watching it during my very formative teen years and it strongly influenced who i am as a person. i’m gonna answer these questions based on both how i felt when i first watched the show and how i feel about it now.
shipping in zexal has been a wild ride as a multishipper. my big ship has always been IV and Shark because it opened my eyes to the whole enemies to lovers thing. at first i couldn’t understand the appeal and then it just clicked (this may have been helped by some smutty oneshots, who’s to say) and i’ve been a huge fan ever since. i love their dynamic a lot. obviously i’m huge keyshipping fan and it’s kind of the ship that’ll happen no matter what i write. they are two distant souls connected by an unbreakable bond. i love Yuma and Vector as a pair (especially one sided stuff) but also i’ve recently gotten deep into Vector and Nasch so combining those has been fun. Kotori and Cathy is always a given for me because they are so obsessed with each other and spend so much time together it’s kinda ridiculous that they don’t stop fighting and just kiss already. wasn’t a huge fan of Tetsuo and Rio initially but upon my rewatch i just love them together, like yeah he swoons a bit to much but she finds that endearing and he does respect her as a person and a duelist unlike mostly everyone else. i also like Charlie and Akari and wish we got more time dedicated to them (or even just Akari as a whole) cuz they were cute together.
characters are what keep me hooked on a show and zexal is no exception. when i was younger i really liked Kaito (because i had a crush on him), but Shark was probably my favorite for the majority of the show and now. very gender envy but also just a cool and dynamic character. Vector was a favorite from the moment i first saw him (i saw the Sargasso duel before starting Zexal II) and has remained in the top spot for me. i am perpetually rotating him in my brain like butter in a microwave and occasionally he explodes. i love Flip Turner as a character because he’s just such an agent of chaos but he cares a lot about Yuma and all his friends but that never stops him from being an ass to everyone else. mostly everyone else is like, “i am friends with Yuma so i have to be good now” but not Flip. he continues to create problems and only regrets getting caught. short king. i also love Ukyo Kitano, he is such an entire husband and i may be aroace but he is the exception
i’m doing my rewatch rn and honestly i don’t know if i have any favorite episodes because each one is well crafted enough that it stands up well. even episodes that i thought i didnt like or had trouble remembering blew me away a second time around. i guess that speaks to the writing and pacing. i never felt like i had to “get through” an episode because they were all enjoyable. Yuma vs Nistro during the WDC holds a special place in my heart because it’s the first episode i saw. it got me hooked instantly and got me back into ygo as a whole. had i not seen that episode, i wouldn’t have a tumblr or all the friends i do now.
one thing that set zexal apart from a lot of animes i watched at the time was just how many damn outfits they gave the girls. like seriously it astonished me that they did that for them and not a lot of them pertained to the plot, just put them in a new outfit for fun. as someone who’s always been into fashion i enjoyed that extra detail and it helped me connect more with those characters since the narrative often wasn’t kind to them (Rio should’ve won her duel against Shark, it would’ve made more sense from a plot perspective). the foreshadowing is also stellar and surpasses a lot of other more highly praised shows of that time.
i’ve only seen the dub because it’s all i’ve had access to. i started watching zexal on nicktoons, the the nickelodeon website, then Vortex, then the ygo webite, and finally ended on hulu which is where i watch it now. i’ve seen many clips from the sub and know what was censored/changed but honestly i prefer watching the dub. the voice acting goes hard and the dialogue is funny. the skirt lengthening is actually a little annoying cuz it looks so poorly done sometimes (they gave up on Rio after a few episodes) and Astral’s blinding light of modesty can be distracting (it looks worse on 96 tho). the lack of blood is annoying but i also just like blood and guts. it doesn’t ruin my enjoyment and honestly neither does the fanservice of the sub. the r*cism and m*sogyny can be a little blatant and uncomfortable but it’s infrequent and negligible enough to me and present in both sub and dub enough where i don’t blame one or the other.
so yeah, despite its problems, i love zexal and always will! it’s influenced a lot of my own art and writing; i’ve created characters to exist alongside the zexal cast, made a self-insert oc that’s helped me better understand myself, and gottne more interested in different forms of art because of it. i’ve discovered new music from fics and amvs. i got into fandom as a whole because of it. i’ve joined other fandoms because of people i met through it, including Hetalia which is the reason i started this blog. most of all i’ve found a lot of community and made friends with other creators and both taken lart in and witnessed a lot of deep discussions about the show from character analysis to the themes of christianity in ygo it’s been so cool and always so respectful. did this answer turn into a sort of love letter to the show: yeah, but how could it not. i’m just bery passionate and wanted to be thorough!
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bathfinder · 3 years
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I am very sorry in advance but I need to yell about them before I implode
SO MY VERY FAVORITE FAVORITE SHIP IS DEACON AND NICK YEAH????? THEY ARE GREAT AND I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND MAKE MY DAY 100x BETTER I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM
Who doesn't love a detective calling out all the lies of an agent??? They are perfect for each other??? Deacon making up lies to see how fast Nick can call him out or Deacon dressing up as nick????? Power couple????? Going on missions together,, solving cases,,,, Nick being a gentleman and being so nice to Deacon cause he DESERVRS IT 😭 Getting Deacon to open up to him in the end???? Nick giving him space and being so understanding 😭 THEY TAKE DOWN EDDIE WINTERS TOGETHER?????? HELLO???? DEACON MEETING DIMA AND DIMA BEING A GOOD BROTHER SND TEASING NICK AND NICK DOES IT BACK????? ? DEADON BECOMING FRIENDS WITH FARADAY AND THEY TALK ABOUT THEIR BFS WITH SO MUCH LOVE?????? DATE NIGHTS???? STAKE OUTS???? I'm gonma have a stroke
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makethiscanon · 2 years
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By Your Side (I’ll Stay Forever) [Newt x Reader]
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Pairing: Newt x Reader [Only ‘You’ Pronouns Used]
Subpairing: Platonic Frypan & Reader
Words: 1.9k
Rating: T
Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, No One Dies, Canon Fix-It, Reader-Insert, Angst and Fluff, Post-Canon, Canon-Divergence
Summary: You managed to subdue Newt during the events of the Last City, but now that you’re here at the Safe Haven, what will it take to get him to wake? And will Newt still be in there when he does?
This is a follow-on story. Read Part 1 here.
Maze Runner: Death Cure Spoilers Mentioned Below Cut:
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Newt’s recovery was slow. In the days and weeks that followed his injection of Thomas's Cure, the physical markings of the infection faded, Newt’s body healed, but he remained asleep.
He had not regained consciousness since that fateful night in the Last City, when you had stopped him from killing himself during his Flare-induced insanity. The dose of Bliss that night had stabilised him, but it had been Thomas’ bravery, and blood, that had secured the dose that could save him.
You weren't sure what happened that night after Thomas returned to WCKD, but it resulted in the deaths of Doctor Ava Paige, Janson, and your once-close Glader companion, Teresa, as well as the retrieval of two phials of the Cure.
Now your small Glader family lived far across the ocean, where the Flare could not spread to. Vince had needed plenty of convincing to let Newt aboard the ship to the Safe Haven, but you were all here now: a new beginning.
You only wished Newt was awake to see it with you.
You woke one morning, like you did every morning, with a terrible stiffness in your neck from sleeping on the stool beside Newt's bed with your head on his mattress. You were determined not to let him be alone when he finally came around, holding his hand just in case he woke in a panic. You didn't know how much he would remember from the Last City, but you wanted him to know that his friends had not abandoned him.
“Please be okay…”
If there was anyone listening in up above, they might have ignored your pleas until now, but this time you were wishing with every fibre of your being to bring Newt back to you, safe and whole.
You groaned as you sat up, releasing Newt’s hand so you could stand and stretch. It felt good to move. You could feel your body begging you to sleep in your own bed, especially when you were yet to manage a full night’s sleep there.
On your first night at the Safe Haven, you had tried to rest but your fear of losing Newt overnight had dragged you from your bed and to his side in the medical hut. Lectures and complaints from other Safe Haveners had followed, but once they realised how strongly you felt, they let you be. Your friends came by each day to check in, but they knew Newt was safest in your care.
“It’s another day in paradise, Newt.” You said, looking out to the endless expanse of sea through the window, the early morning sun dusting it with gold and red hues. You glanced back at him with a sombre smile. “Come see for yourself.”
He did not stir. You didn’t expect him to.
With a sigh, you came back to his side then checked over the tubes connected to his body, making sure the IV bag was still reasonably full. You didn’t know how long Newt would stay unconscious, but fortunately the Right Arm had swiped enough of WCKD’s supplies over the years to keep him comfortable.
“Oh, morning.”
Frypan's voice caught your attention. You turned to see him in the hut’s doorway with a smile and his usual apron in place.
“Morning, Fry.” You greeted, noticing the plate of food in his hands. “You’re up early.”
He shrugged good-naturedly.
“When you make everyone’s breakfast at the crack of dawn for three years, it’s hard to shake the habit.”
“Good, that.” You agreed. You eyed the food with a hungry stomach. “Is that for anyone in particular?”
He chuckled and handed it your way. “Thought you could do with a good meal. I don’t think I saw you leave here yesterday.”
You thanked him for the food then sat down on the stool to eat. After a few much-needed mouthfuls, you bowed your head.
“Sorry. I don't mean to worry you guys like this. I just— the last thing I want is to be out when—”
Frypan raised his hands to tell you it was okay.
“I get it. We all do.” He pointed a finger at you as he reached for a pair of medical gloves at the foot of Newt’s bed. “But lock yourself up in here for much longer and Gally’ll drag you out himself. Fresh air will do you good.”
Since arriving at the Safe Haven, Frypan had been moonlighting as a medic with some of the other Haveners. Now that he wasn’t the only man responsible for feeding the hungry, he had found himself bored and in search of jobs, and one that always needed more hands was the medical team.
“Anything new to report?” He asked, coming to stand by Newt’s side. You shuffled off the stool to give him room, shaking your head.
“He’s been twitching a lot more, but still no sign of waking.”
Frypan leaned over him, carefully pulling back the lid of his eye to take a closer look at the infection.
“Hey. He looks a lot better. Still a bit bloodshot, but the veins are almost gone. Come see.”
You shook your head, backing off.
“That’s alright. I believe you.”
Frypan quirked an eyebrow, leaving Newt alone to address you. He sighed, lowering his hands to his sides.
“He… might never be normal, you know? We don’t know how much the infection can be reversed. The best we can hope for is a few physical scars. You gonna let them haunt you forever?”
You hung your head, feeling ashamed for being frightened by the lingering side-effects of the Flare. The discoloured veins along Newt’s body were a painful reminder of that night. You tried to ignore them, but even as they faded, they still reminded you of the insanity that had taken over Newt’s mind, and how he had tried to kill you, and how you would have let him if not for Thomas’ intervening.
You wanted Newt to get better. You wanted to forget the horrors of the Last City forever.
“Sorry,” Frypan said, realising he had hit a nerve. “Look ahead. The future’s bright.”
That was the motto of the Safe Haven. Everyone here struggled with memories they would rather forget, so each made it their goal to think of where they were headed, and how the sacrifices of their friends had led them to a place of freedom.
“The future is bright.” You agreed softly, letting your gaze drift to the steady rise and fall of Newt’s chest. “I just hope it’s bright for all of us."
Frypan left you to eat your breakfast, moving around the hut as he pulled syringes and microscopes from various cupboards.
When you were done eating, you set the plate down then watched him work, feeling sleepier now that you were full. Frypan noticed.
“I’ll be here a while. Why don’t you head home? Get a real sleep?”
“I’m okay.” You said, fending off the droop of your eyelids to prove your point.
“Sleep.” He urged, aware you had been by Newt’s side since arriving at the Haven two weeks ago. “If not in your bed, put your head down now. I can work around you.”
He pushed your head towards Newt’s mattress, releasing you only when he felt you comply and drop the rest of the way by yourself. You smiled, thankful for his caring, if not pushy, nature, then slipped your hand back into Newt’s and squeezed it before closing your eyes.
You sighed deep, relaxing into the plushness of the mattress. Perhaps five minutes wouldn’t hurt.
You squeezed Newt’s hand one more time to say sweet dreams, then settled down to sleep.
But then he squeezed back.
You shot up. It made Frypan jump and he dropped his equipment. Luckily nothing broke as it hit the floor.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, catching the shock on your face as you stared at Newt with wide eyes. You stayed still, expecting him to wake.
“He squeezed my hand.”
“You sure it wasn’t a twitch?” Frypan didn’t sound convinced. You frowned.
“No, he definitely did.” You squeezed Newt’s hand again, but this time there was no response. You waited. But nothing more came. The brief hope that he had been coming back to you was enough to crumple you when you realised he wasn’t.
Feeling two weeks’ worth of exhaustion on your shoulders, you slipped your hand free of Newt’s and raised both to your face, feeling the swell of tears coming up to your eyes.
“Hey, come on.” Frypan abandoned his equipment, catching the moment you started to cry. He came to you and knelt down so he could wrap you in a hug. “He’s gonna come back. Don’t give up. After everything we’ve been through, he’s gonna come back. He has to.”
You felt secure in Frypan’s arms, but that did nothing to ease the pain settling in your heart.
“But what if he doesn’t, Fry? What if, after everything, we were still too late?” You buried your face in his shoulder, finally airing the fears that had been inside you all this time as your tears fell. “I told him we’d come to the Safe Haven together. I don’t want that to be a lie. What if I never get to hear his voice again?” You sobbed, giving in to your fears as Frypan rubbed your back, unable to find the words to console you.
Things seemed hopeless. You didn’t want to carry on this journey without Newt beside you.
"I wouldn't leave you alone like that, love."
You pulled back from Frypan, your breath catching in your throat. It was too much for you to trust your ears. You weren’t willing to get your hopes up.
Just as you let your sadness take over, a voice you had worried you would never hear again cut across the quiet of the hut.
But then you looked at Newt and saw his gentle eyes looking back at you.
You didn’t care how awful your sobs sounded when you threw yourself at his bed, knocking past the tubes and bedsheets to crumple against him, the tears spilling freely from your eyes as relief replace every other emotion in your body.
“You’re awake.” Your words were almost inaudible beneath your sobbing. “Newt, we’re home. We’re free. We made it to the Safe Haven—”
Two weeks of fear, three years of hell, one person who had pulled you through it all. You had him in your arms, and he was pulling you close, wrapping his arms around you with what little strength he had.
He pushed his face into the crook of your neck, breathing deep like it was his very first breath.
“I’m sorry I worried you, love.”
You trembled in his arms, waiting to wake and realise you were only dreaming. But you didn't. This was reality, and only when you truly understood that did you pull back to look at his face.
Despite the redness of his eyes and the dark lines that painted his skin with the reminders of the Flare, the warmth in his tired smile and the tenderness of his eyes told you that he was still in there. You had not lost him to the infection.
“Newt, welcome home.”
------
[WRITING MASTERLIST]
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aroaceacacia · 2 years
Note
for context, im new to hermitblr and i've been reading thru ur 2019 talk tag & i think i have the general idea of what went down. i just have a small question -- what was the "division thing"? you referenced it in another post but ive never heard of it. was it, like, "what are your thoughts on [x person]?" or something?
tbh I don't exactly remember what it was referring to at this moment but I think it was probably in reference to something that happened to me - an anti-hermitshipper once DMed me (who was neutral leaning anti at the time) to say "please don't interact with me", and when I asked why they said "it's because of who you associate with". It turned out that they were made uncomfortable because I had reblogged posts from a user who I was friendly with and who happened to be hermitship positive.
From what I recall, this happened to other people, too (I may be wrong here). Basically, anti-hermitshippers disliked hermitshippers so strongly that they started dividing everyone in the fandom into two camps, and even association such as following/reblogging/knowing hermitshippers was enough to get you lumped into the hermitshipper collective by anti-hermitshippers, or at least it felt that way. It felt like nobody was truly allowed to be neutral in some capacity
Thinking back on it the whole "please dont interact with me" was really dumb bc they could have just blocked me? or figured out my main (I'm pretty sure it's always been in my bio??) and softblocked me? by contacting me directly it was almost like a signal to subtly let me know that I was, in their eyes, Doing Something Wrong, and the direct dialogue was a way to facilitate that conversation. maybe that's a manipulative way of putting it, but I do think there's a weirdness in that sort of approach.
Lately I've been thinking a lot abt something that I've discussed in therapy, which is that "we can't change/control what others do, we can only control ourselves/how we respond to them". I think that it strongly applies to HC shipping discourse in general; it feels like it's a lesson anti-hermitshippers in some communities still haven't learned as they continue to go out of their way to try and stop people from shipping hermits. Whether they do it for moral reasons, or personal discomfort, or whatever, I think it's fair to say that they push people out of communities and call out users because they want to stop people from shipping hermits. Meanwhile, Hermitblr's solution to these differences of opinion and taste in content has been to block users and filter tags, to "curate your own experience" - rather than changing other people's actions, to change our own, and that's enabled us to reach a point where we can all have different feelings and boundaries on a somewhat sensitive topic but still respect one another and each other's wishes.
I've been having a lot of thoughts lately.
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demonbloodhrt · 2 years
Note
samruby ♥️♥️♥️ (this is just an excuse for me to hear you talk about samruby)
when i tell you i have never in my life felt so strongly about a ship bro…
like ive said this before but i dont think sam loved ruby yet by the time she died but im a firm believer that she was very much in love with him at that point… i think he really did think he was just using her to get stronger and trying his best to ignore just how strong their connection was growing and how attached he was becoming to her as a person and not just a bloodbag. and in that process he started to embrace his transge-i mean. his demon features as things that could be used for good and not just horror and destruction.
the key part of samruby that makes it so exciting for me is how much storytelling potential there was there for both of them to not just fall in love but develop as characters and further the narrative in a way that would actually have something to say about the punitive (and racist) logic at the heart of not only the institution of hunting but heaven and hell.
i wanted them to grow empathy for themselves, each other, angels, demons and humanity through demon blood hrt and also t4t bloodkink sex <3 i wanted them to reach out to all the other halloween monsters and help strengthen existing mutual aid networks as well as build new ones where none could be found. i wanted them to thoroughly restructure hell and move it toward restorative justice or just end it all together and build something new.
THEYRE SIMPLY IT IN MY BRAIN THEYRE UNBEATABLE TO ME <3
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hello-yue-here · 3 years
Note
About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭
kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this
this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops
yuekka: no one else from great comet
where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN
okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.
every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.
onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)
"the moon"
THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.
"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"
sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.
"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"
natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.
"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"
Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.
"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"
these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.
now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.
"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"
natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)
but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.
fuck im gonna cry.
zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown
"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"
sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.
zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)
"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"
COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.
"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"
SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.
"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"
these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)
"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"
i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.
jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes
if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.
marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.
sound familiar? it's literally jetko.
the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.
i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.
but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.
(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)
and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,
i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one
so im going to
tokka: on my own- les mis
look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.
eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH
eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao
"without him i feel his arms around me"
toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.
"and i know / i know that he is blind"
COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.
"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"
i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.
"but only on my own"
TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU
thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3
ask me why i think these songs go with these ships
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moonlightsolo · 4 years
Text
bête noire
summary: After the mission with Kylo, you fall unconscious after an injury to your head. You wake up in the med ward needing Kylo by your side.
pairing: kylo ren x female reader
warnings: angst, lots of emotions, mention of needles, 
wc: 1.6k
note: hi i’m back to writing. i posted why i was gone here. sorry this is a short chapter, the other ones will make up for it! i love u all sm!! ty for waiting ♡
- chapter list -
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CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
The first thing that runs through your mind when you wake up is why the room smells so strongly like disinfectant. It’s making your head thump terribly or maybe it’s something else causing this migraine...
The ache behind your eyes worsens when your heavy eyelids lift to open. The light above you is much too bright. You groan and bring your hand up to shield your face but why does your wrist feel so heavy?
You peek at your hand, seeing that a tiny tube is lodged into the top of your hand and is taped securely against your skin. Your eyes follow the clear tube up to the connected bag full of liquid on a metal hook.
You finally realize that this is not your room. It’s a hospital room. Really?
The memories start to rush back; The mission, the fighting, the Resistance...
Panic strikes you and your breathing quickens while your eyes glance around the familiar room when they adjust to the light. Damn it!
You sigh and look up at the bright white ceiling. The soft beep from your heart monitor is making you angry, why is it to annoying?
The door opens, a woman walks in with a tray of syringes. “Oh, you’re awake?!” She says happily then scurries to your side.
“How’s your pain? One to ten.” She asks you to rate the pain you’re in.
“It’s a seven. Just my head. It hurts.” Your voice is hoarse, “Do you have water?”
She nods as she writes down on a little notepad, “Yes, let me administer some pain medication through your IV first.” She grabs a syringe and connects it to the tube.
She slowly pushes it into your body, you can feel the medicine traveling through your veins. It’s a cold feeling that soothes you.
You almost sigh in relief, “Thank you.”
The nurse smiles and nods as she walks over to the sink to get you a cup of water. “Drink this slowly. You may get nauseous at first.” She hands you the styrofoam cup carefully.
Once your hand wraps around it, you bring the rim to your lips to take a big gulp.
The cold liquid travels down into your stomach, the feeling makes you want to hurl.
The nurse takes it from your hands and lays it down on a little table, “You know the man that brought you in, the Supreme Leader... I’ve never seen him while working here. I’ve only heard rumors that he is scary and tall. A very powerful individual.” Her voice trails off and you go to tell her how wrong she is but she continues.
“But, when he came in with you yesterday. All of those rumors felt like lies. I’ve never seen someone so scared to lose someone. Everybody on this ship are emotionless and stone cold. Be lucky that he loves you like that. Don’t get me wrong, he is still very tall and intimidating.” She chuckles as her hands move around to take care of you.
The words make your heart flutter in the best way possible. She smiles even more at your reaction, “Wait, where is he?” You ask and she perks up.
“I should probably go alert him that you’re awake now, hm? If you need anything press the nurse button on the side of the bed.” She says as she walks out of the room.
You take a deep breath, wishing you could just be somewhere else than this hospital room. It’s boring and it’s letting in bad memories of last time you were in a hospital room on a ship like this.
Slowly, your emotions take over your senses again. Your hands are shaking, your bottom lip quivers and your eyes are filling up with tears.
The last time you were in a room like this, it was against your will. You’re grateful he saved your life but what would have happened if he didn’t?
Then you remember Ailla, your previous nurse and her floating assistant droid. Your first and only friends you’ve made on a ship like this. The last time you saw her was when you were taken by the stormtroopers and put into a holding cell.
Kylo was so different back then. He was rude and cold to you. He starved you until you gave into his ultimatum to join the First Order and somehow you even fell in love with him. 
He’s become more open with his emotions, letting you know when he’s happy and that he loves you and you’ve gave birth to his children. It’s insane how the universe works.
You let out a shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding. You’re glad you took the opportunity or you wouldn’t have your two sweet little babies. You’d probably be dead.
Your eyes fly open, taking a sharp breath as you look around your room. You fell asleep. The lights in the room have been dimmed but you spot a dark figure sitting on a chair in the corner. His head is hanging as he his elbows rest against his knees. It’s Kylo.
It’s almost like he knew you‘re awake, his head snaps up then he stands to walk quickly over to the side of the bed. His hand grasps yours instantly, “I didn’t want to wake you. You seemed so peaceful.” He mumbles, you squeeze his hand in response. 
“How long were you waiting?” You ask softly, your voice is timid and still hoarse.
“Only about forty-five minutes.” He nods his head slowly, his dark eyes look over you in the bed. “I didn’t want any of this to happen.”
You grumble softly to yourself, making his head pick up to give you a confused look. “How are the kids?” You change the subject.
His facial features soften but his eyebrows are still furrowed in thought, “They’re fine. I have the droid watching them for the time being. I’ve had things to do around the ship.” His thumb absentmindedly rubs across the skin on your hand and over the medical tape holding the IV in place.
“I don’t want you to come with me anymore on these missions. It’s not safe and I don’t want anything to happen to you again.” His eyes glance at you before returning down to your joined hands, almost like he didn't want to see your response.
“What? No, Kylo. I’m not doing that, I want to be by your side.” You scoff and shake your head. You attempt to scoot your body up so you could sit up but some wires kept you tied down. His eyes fall over your pained face.
“I want to go back with you. We were so powerful together, didn’t you feel it?” You’re almost begging him by now.
“There’s no doubt that we were powerful beside each other but it’s not safe.” He replies coldly. “I said no.” He’s serious now.
Your eyes squint into slits, your mouth hangs ajar for a moment then closes. “Well, I don’t agree with you.” You blurt out, making him take a sharp deep breath through this nose, making his nostrils flare.
“You need to listen to me, Y/N. You’re not leaving this ship unless it’s approved by me.” His voice raises which makes you angrier.
“You can’t hold me against my will anymore.” You spit back angrily which makes him groan. He pulls his hand away from yours to take a step back from the bed, his hands rub over his face in frustration.
“Why do you have to be so stubborn?!” He yells into the air, the veins popping out in his neck as he stares at the ceiling. Your body winces at the sudden raise of his voice.
“I am not stubborn. I just want to be able to use that kind of power! I think it’s unfair that you’re going to withhold me from bettering myself.” You push a button so the bed would sit you up.
“See, that’s why I don’t want you to. It’s not making you become a better you,” 
His voice lowers almost to a whisper, “The power you yield is incredibly dangerous and it will corrupt your mind. All you will think about is that one thing. You’ll forget about your children, you’ll forget about me. You’ll turn into this person that everyone fears. Do you really want that?”
The change of emotion in the room makes your face go completely still as you stare at him, the tears break free from your waterline when you try to blink them away. Your bottom lip subtly quivers as your emotions flood your body.
“I’ll come by later to take you back to our quarters.” He stands up straight, his dark eyes glance over your features then he turns to walk out of the room.
When the door closes behind him, you let out a sob. Your arms wrap around your body to try and console yourself, your knees slide up so you could cradle them against your chest.
Why does life have to be this way? Why can’t you just exclaim your feelings and not be told you’re wrong?
Your eyes catch something laying on a table beside your bed. It’s your pile of clothes you were wearing when you were brought in, your dusty saber is laying on top of the equally dirty clothes.
Maybe you could just leave now and not wait for him. Although that will piss him off even more.
You gulp and shake your head. There’s no reason to do that to him and betray his orders once again.
You slowly feel your emotions wear off, your body becomes cold and distant from your own conscience. It feels almost as if you turned your emotion switch off in your brain, but why would you do that?
You’ll just have to wait for Kylo to come fetch you from the med ward. Hopefully, everything will be back to normal soon.
-
tags: @officiallpeterparker @funnysadshit @ymariejp @attorneyl @fangirl570 @trinityrud20 @kylos-sassy-cousin @delicatelyherdreams @fizzywoohoo @savvy7392 @angelias134 @that-girl-named-alex @cas-backwards-tie @glimmering-darling-dolly @glitterypinkkitty @blxkstar @his-snow-white-queen @elsasshole @smiithys @nanocoool @deathbyarabbit @alex-skr @theholycakehole  @averillian  @crazynocturnalkiki @arcanebabe @tinydancer40 @superduckypower  @thomasscresswell @butterfly-writes @thatintrovertedbisexual @fangirlanotherjust @somekindofroger  @nicci442 @little-girl-who-dream-too-much @wildest-dream- @silverlambcaptain @cliffordmess @xkylorxn @lowkeyofsassguard @nickangel13 @carol-twinklefists-danvers @oopsiedoopsie23 @fandomshit6000 @baba-eina @cosmichellfire @ravngers @lipstickstateofmind @dorisfantasyworld @starrfruit
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gayregis · 3 years
Text
it sucks so much that a lot of the time i just simply am not able to make art/fanfic with confidence because i’m always aware that horny people on tumblr would eagerly misinterpret it as fetish art or ship.
is that still how you put a read more on mobile? lol idk anymore
this is a vent post to give anyone who isn’t sure about what i’m trying to say / is interested in the bad experiences i’ve had more context
when i was fourteen (14!! a baby!!) on here i made a general ‘body positivity’ post for a character (just saying that they were beautiful and desirable to a partner, because a lot of posts liked to make them out as ‘ugly’) and a nsfw fetish blog reblogged it (and interacted with me. fml) and it got a bunch of notes because they were popular in the fandom and i was too young to know what fetishes were.
when i was older but still a teenager (must have been what, 15? 16?) my (adult, in their early 20s) mutual DMed me and we talked for a bit about AUs and ships, and then they started talking about what if this character grew multiple limbs during sex :)? what would you think about that? ... i tried to say i was uncomfortable with where this conversation was going and tried to steer it back to regular topics, but they kept pressing it so i just didn’t respond anymore.
when i was still older, and getting into the witcher fandom now (17, maybe early 18) i rapidly found out how much disgusting fucking geralt x ciri shit there is. i was trying to cope with my shitty relationship with my dad by finding solace with geralt and ciri, and nope, there’s some ship art or fic of them. literally i got 1/4 through a fic on a blog about geralt and ciri in brokilon where she was scared and held his hand, my gut felt weird about it because this was a post on a blog that seemed to do mostly ship fics, i scrolled to the bottom of the post and there it was tagged with ship tags and fetish tags.
so now i’m just stuck in this space where i’m afraid to make anything that could be misinterpreted, because of how it could potentially be recieved, what kind of people it will attract. and “anything that could be misinterpreted” is a very broad topic, but it’s broad for a reason, because literally anything can be misconstrued and taken from you and seen as a fetish, or a ship, etc... more specifically i’m thinking about my vampire headcanons (on the topic of giving characters fangs and people being extremely horny for that) and ideas about regis and angouleme hanging out (because tumblr both doesn’t know what a familial / parental relationship is, and fucking loves to ship old men with young women vis-a-vis the regis x shani art i’ve been unlucky enough to see on here).
plus way too many people are horny for regis on this site and i’ve tried to block them all but the thing is that it blocks from my mainblog and not my sideblog, so now i can’t see them but they can see me and still reblog my content on this sideblog, thanks tumblr... literally nsfw blogs reblogging my posts about regis like i want to go insane on you stop it...
literally it’s like:
me: here is my headcanon for how regis looks [subtext: appearance based upon professors ive had who have reminded me of him / inspired me / made me feel safe in their presence / oh god i miss that kind of feeling with my dad / okay anyways haha here’s the post]
accts who i HAVE BLOCKED but tumblr allows them to reblog my posts because i’m a sideblog and your blockslists are specific to your blogs and not your entire account because this site’s block “function” sucks: wow this man i want to fuck him UNFFFFFF
anyways it’s 6:30 am i’m tired and hungry but yeah this is why i’m always fucking second-guessing myself lol and never end up creating things anymore. i of course really enjoy writing analysis posts, but in some ways, it’s the only thing i can do because other mediums such as art and fic are way too often taken from their creators and purposefully misinterpreted, if i write a long post however it’s more difficult to misinterpet it (more difficult yet still so many do... re: all the gerlion posts i’ve made hating on geraskiers, cue many geraskiers reblogging said posts like #omg so true... no look in the mirror because i was talking about you lol.)
if anyone is reading this (vent post, as i said, a personal post that is not intended to be reblogged or consumed by the masses) like “wow what a bitch and a hater for hating on my fetishes, i’m going to send them a really strongly worded anon that starts with ‘No. You know what, fuck this. Fuck you—‘“ then i don’t care, just block me and fuck off like i really do not want to talk to you. i’m not hating on your fetishes i’m saying you need to act appropriately in sfw environments and not bring up nsfw content to minors or people who haven’t consented to seeing it, or interact with others’ sfw posts in a nsfw manner.
be a decent adult
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cypris-thalsian · 3 years
Text
The Gift: Part V
[ Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, written with @thalsianiii​ ]
Cypris held her sleeve over her nose as Percival ushered her past the remnants of the corpse once it was well done and sorted. After Percival's shouting and banging on the door there didn't seem to be any movement within the small hut for what seemed like a prolonged amount of time. 
Once it had registered that the voice was a familiar one, the sounds of a staff clacked along the inner floors. A slat slid open lower down, revealing a crystalline pair of blue eyes gazing out. Lairn leered at the pair, seemingly looking them over to be sure they were clean, "Did you step in it?" She question came matter of fact having an idea they were why the thudding had stopped. 
"No, we didn't. Please.. we're clean, came from the roof tops. He touched one of the sick... but he's been burned." Cypris tried to explain. 
The pair were answered with another skeptical once over before the slat closed and the door creaked open, "Quick now. You're both late." She muttered and would slam the door closed once they were through.
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Percival gently ushered Cypris through the door first before following in. The thud of the door behind him gave him a moment of peace. At least in the presence of a healer, there was some sense of safety.
"What do you mean we're late?" he asked, waving his hand across his face to cause his mask to vanish from existence.
"Bah, it doesn't matter. We need your help, Lairn. Please..."
"She always says that..." Cypris muttered and pursed her lips at a touch of laughter finding her features. 
Lairn slid a bar across the door before turning to the pair, "No, I don't." She leaned towards Percival, "I'd hoped to speak more with you after my visit last. You're as bad as she is. And just maybe I heard tell of your coming on the wind."
The elder dwarf started for the fire place where she'd been warming and steeping a bit of tea. On the table was a singular mug, one might have assumed had been meant for her. When it was poured, she slid it towards Cypris. "Drink it. Don't give me any trouble over it after you've been out with that lot." Her cane was shoved in a pointing motion to the door. 
Cypris eyed Percival before looking to the tea. Her lips had parted to argue, but even her come backs for the old dwarf fell short. She simply sipped at the tea and moved to claim a seat at the table. 
Pleased that the woman had listened for a change, turned her attention on Percival, "You want a mug too or would you prefer a stouter variety?"
"I'll make it up to you assuming we survive this," Percival responded as Lairn gave him a mild scolding.
Unlike Cypris, he never thought to give Lairn any lip. So far she had always been hospitable and wise. Crotchety, but wise.
While the two women got more comfortable, Percival seemed to linger nearer the door. He hated undead. Not for fear or some deep seeded remorse for the dead that killed his family and friends in Dalaran decades ago. He just found them terribly distasteful.
"Would you like to talk to her about what's been going on?" he asked as he looked towards Cypris while she drank her tea.
"Or shall I?"
The first initial sips were long and deep, Cypris had assumed it was likely some sort of concoction to ward off whatever it was the pair had strolled through to get to the dwarf. When the mug was nearly empty she slipped it back to the table. A huff of a laugh was breathed out watching the two.
"I um.." She blinked a few times at Percival. "I've been tired the last several weeks, but it's gotten worse. I'm struggling with fire. I got sick on the way in. thats all I know for certain. He..." Cy gestured towards Percival, "Says, there's um..." 
Lips pursed and she gave a cant of her head stumbling over what to her felt like a simple word that just couldn't find the tip of her tongue. After a moment she shook her head and motioned for Percival to finish the story. Not before tossing in with her skeptical, "I'm fine." The words came slightly slurred in her attempt at denial. 
Lairn listened to the two and their back and forth. She knew the warlock was worried, though it didn't appear to translate to her own features. "I'll get you a scotch. You like scotch."
The dwarven woman motioned for Percival to continue on with the story as she made her way to a cabinet where she collected a glass, filling it with a bit of her choice scotch.
"You're not fine and you know it," he scolded.
His attention turned to Lairn as she moved around the small home. He continued on with the story where Cypris left off.
"She's been tired, her fire doesn't spark on command, and getting sick. A while back during Brewfest that Loa of hers, or yours, played some trickery on us with visions and mind games. I can only assume the vile serpent is playing more tricks on her now. Watching us." he hypothesized.
"Last night we were just about to... well there was a presence. It was silent and neutral but I could feel it almost as strongly as I can feel Cypris. Like it was riding along our soulbind. With all that the serpent had said, I can only imagine it's him playing some game."
He took a deep breath and let it out in the form of a lengthy sigh.
"Brigitte something says hi," he finished.
Lairn lilted a brow, she'd not heard him scold Cypris often. Truth of the matter she'd have likely scolded her had he not. Turning towards Percival, she listened to each bit of the explanation. on through the mention of the Loa. Even Lairn's thoughts regarded it momentarily as a thought. She had her own ideas given the limited readings of runes and the like. 
"I don't think you're wrong. But I don't think you're right either." Lairn squared before him. A bemused smile perked at the mention of Brigitte and spilled into a tuft of laughter. 
The elder dwarf reached out to offer the scotch only to pull it back and motion towards Cypris. "You can have this after you catch her and move her to the bedroom. You remember where, yes? Last time she needed stitched up? Don't worry too much it's just the tea..." 
On the edges of their vision, unless Percival kept his gaze on the fire-starter, her gaze had slowly started to droop. Eyelids heavy that she slowly gave to what it was that was pulling her under. Cypris' form swaying slowly threatening to slip from the chair.
Percival was quick to catch Cypris once Lairn gave him warning to do so. Were it anyone else, he might have taken a drugging tea as an offense. Especially after the last time someone tampered with their drink.
But this was Lairn, and she had always been good to them. Not to mention, she didn't try to fool the warlock with something similar.
"Of course," he agreed as he moved to Cypris' side before she could fall from the chair. One hand under her back and the other hooking under her knees, he scooped the smaller woman up in his arms and moved to take her to the bedroom.
Upon returning, he gave Lairn a subtle nod. "Didn't think we'd have to resort to drugged up tea to get her to sleep soundly. But it looks like she's out cold for now. So what's going on?"
The scotch was outstretched when he returned. "It's difficult to be sure. Souls are uneasy these days. They have been for a while. There were a few awol Alliance soldiers in the tavern a week or so ago. Talking about... the Ardent Crusade looking for recruits in Stormwind. I lingered a bit trying to hear more."
She shook her head, "One died and the other ran. Next thing we know the sickness began to spread. We got a ship in port not long after, half the crew had been claimed to it. I looked over one of them, looks near identical if not more persistent as what we faced in the North."
Sorting out a few supplies from the counter, "Unless you mean with Cypris. In which case, I'll need to look her over. But I'm guessing she's right in that she's fine. But you're concerns are valid given the history... I'll want your opinion to second any of it."
Percival took the scotch with thanks and downed near half the glass. His nerves were shot. The last two days had been more than he had bargained for.
"I wasn't on Azeroth the last time the Undead returned. But I heard the stories. Same with the Third War. The scourge was isolated to Lordaeron, Silvermoon, and Dalaran back then. I was in the south before it ever got bad. But this... this is everywhere."
He took another swig of the drink and made himself comfortable in the chair Cypris had sat in moments earlier.
"How can she be fine? She's clearly sick, and now there's a plague going around. Are you sure she couldn't be infected? Or some disgrunted Loa? The one we met seemed poor in manners and disposition."
"Points to your baby king wanting to keep it quiet. They could have sent missives or stopped the travel. There's been no word of that about." Lairn shrugged. 
"I'm not sure. There's only ever one way to be sure. There's educated guesses. If she were infected, she'd be running a fever, sweating. Her body burns all that out. Part of the curse or blessing as I understand it." 
Collecting what she'd gathered she started down the small hall towards the bedroom and motioned Percival to follow. "Tell me what it was the Loa said? If Brigitte let you go... not easy for her to do given her death was at the hand of men. Tell me more of this presence you sensed. Cypris said that was not something she knew of?"
"He's not my king," Percival murmured.
"Well she's clearly some kind of sick. She lost her breakfast a few yards outside your front door, after all."
His frustration was obvious. Quelling his temper was difficult when it came to her well being. Even so, he kept it in check enough to hear Lairn out.
"It's been a while since the fest. But it was a series of tests at which point they said we'd be given a gift. Then nothing for the couple months afterwards. Cypris and I have been together for a while, but I know she's not as adept at sharing a magic bond as I am. Demons and all that. But it was there, I know it in my core. Like a presence just... watching. There was no malice or generosity. Just... there. It didn't seem to care what we did one way or another. But it was there."
Lairn listened, setting the supplies down on a table next to the bed. Gentle fingers prodded over bones and muscles along the firestarter. Her gaze held to the woman's features looking for any signs of aches. As she went she removed any weapons she might have found along the way.  As she got towards Cypris' abdomen, Lairn's gaze gained a surprised and slightly troubled look that quickly faded. 
Pulling a modest metal cone from the supplies, the elder shaman listened to Cypris' breathing and other internal sounds that might suggest something else. All the while Cypris slept sound. "Come sit next to her, Percival."
Lairn shifted from the bed to make certain he had enough space to do as she asked. "I want you to keep in mind what it is you have told me, just now. About a gift and the events that followed. Then I want you to focus on that prickle of a presence, tell me if you can better pinpoint it. Physically if you can manage. If not I will help you."
Percival did as instructed and sat down beside his sleeping wife while Lairn went about her physician testing.
"Alright," he agreed with a hint of skepticism. He reached to hold onto Cypris's hand while she slept and closed his eyes.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to focus. Despite his panicked concern for his wife and his frustration at being so helpless to help, he managed to find that hint of a third, lingering presence.
"I can feel it. Like a pit in my stomach. Or her stomach... our stomach?" he rambled off.
His eyes opened and he looked over at Lairn.
"I don't get it. If not a creeping loa spy. What else could it be?"
The metal cone was offered forward, the smaller side having a place to listen. Lairn gestured for Cypris' chest. "Listen here, and then over that space you sense that spy..." She quirked a small grin. 
"Tell me what you hear? Then your thoughts on what it may be." If he did as she asked, he'd find the expected steady heartbeat at Cy's chest, while at her belly, a faint thudding that was similar only more rapid just above the sound of the steadier pulse.
The fact that Larin was smiling was off putting. But he indulged her. He listened to Cypris's heart beat at first, it seemed strong and steady. He then followed the old dwarfs instruction and listened to her stomach as well. It was there, faint, but there.
It took him a few minutes to put the pieces together. He was a brilliant summoner, tactician, and scholar, and yet he had struggled with putting these pieces together until now.
"Wait..." he paused, looking to Lairn and her small grin with a look of confusion and doubt, as if his own hypothesis was far too wild to be true.
"You don't mean... you don't think she could be? I mean we've been together for years and... and never once used... No... Really? No way." he rambled, as if the implication was too wild to be true.
The Elder dwarf watched as the wheels finally began to move in the right direction. She let off a bemused chuckle. "She shouldn't be. You're right. She had a great deal of damage after she had Ava. And when they blackmailed her for her life. The blade caused further damage..."
"The loa have met your trials with a gift. The pair of you have impressed them enough they wish your line to continue. It certainly does prove to be quite the spy. I'm assuming the reason you sense the child's soul so young is because of your bond. It is both your blood and her blood that formed the soul binding, yes?"
Percival was quiet for a while, even after Lairn had stopped speaking and posed her question. He never even consider the possibility of children. Not since the fiasco with his ex fiancé years and years ago.
Finally he shook his head to break from his trance.
"Y-yes we did. Blood and souls and magic runes..." he answered.
"So that was the Loa's 'gift' then? I'm... I'm going to be a father? You're sure?" he asked, a sharp crack in his voice and his eyes glistened with what could almost be considered a tear; the sentiment made his stomach turn in knots. Deep down he still couldn't fathom it. In a world that had knocked him down time and time again, it seemed impossible to be given a gift like this.
Reaching a hand forward, Lairn gave the man a duel pat to his shoulder. Nodding to answer his question. "I would say yes, that is a fair assumption. That they promise a gift and your wife, who in my best medical opinion was made sterile by a former enemy, now is with child. Her body has been healed despite her appearing sick. Life is... it takes a great sacrifice to build. You of all people should know that, that's how it is in all things."
"It will be a long road, but given it all goes well, yes, you'll have a son or daughter before the middle of next year. And you're the one who found it, so you can't deny the fact that it's yours." She laughed. How many men had been dragged in and griped through visits how a child due wasn't theirs. 
Lairn narrowed her gaze on the warlock, "Need more of that scotch? You doing alright there?"
Percival remained a touch dumbfounded for a few moments longer. But finally, he could let himself accept the truth and it pulled the largest of smiles across his features.
"I think one more glass is in order," he said with a light laugh.
He rapidly blinked his eyes, trying to force the tears of joy to vanish through sheer will power before he'd let them fall.
"I can't believe it. I can, but I can't." he babbled on, his gaze looking over to Cypris as she slept with that dumb smile still painted on his face.
"I wonder how she'll take the news."
Lairn ventured out of the room though she continued to listen to his rambling through processing the information. When she returned she came with a scotch freshly poured along with the bottle should he wish more. 
"You can keep that. To listen when you wish to, for the heart beat." She gestured to the tool she'd used to guide his listening. "You're welcome to rest with her for a bit. She may have looked like hell coming in, but you sounded it." 
A grin held a moment longer, finding it rather amusing the amount of worry she'd watch wash away from his features from the moment he'd stepped in the door to the realization that Cypris was indeed well. "We can sort out anything else when you've had time to process all this. She'll either be overly excited, but my money would be on scared. You're not him, you're not about to take the child and run, but that past, that emotional memory is likely to be revived. Something to consider. I do hope I'm wrong. That you'll both get all the joys the experience will offer."
Before taking her leave, Lairn paused at the door, "Call out if you need anything, Dove. Otherwise, dinner will be sorted in a few hours."
"Thank you, Lairn. For everything," Percival quietly whispered as she handed him the drink and bottle before taking her leave.
He considered what she said about Cypris's past. While he wanted to believe it would be a smooth conversation, he knew his wife well enough to know that might not be the case. It would require tact and delicacy. Something best not to do with undead clawing at the door, perhaps.
Either way, he was excited and wasn't going to worry about that conversation right now. It would be okay in the end. He knew that.
His hand moved to rest on her stomach. Suddenly he felt just a bit guilty that he thought she had just gotten a bit of a belly from too much food at a festival.
"And thank you, Cypris," he whispered to his sleeping wife, "once again, you continue to find a new way to make me the happiest man alive."
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rhaenyratargeryn · 3 years
Text
EXIT WOUNDS (CYBERPUNK 2077) Ch. 2
Pairing: Takemura Goro x (female) V Rating: Mature Summary: When his plans for revenge fail, V and Takemura are left right where they once started. A dying thief and a disgraced soldier, with as much in common as they lack and an improbable bond that holds them to one another. Notes: Post-Canon, Nomad ending. Spoilers for post-game! Read on AO3 Read Ch. 1
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The first awareness was that of light. Warm and bright behind his lids. The second awareness was ache. Persistent, painful and sharpened to a razor’s edge at every small movement.
Takemura begrudgingly accepted consciousness, finding the will somewhere inside him to open his eyes and look towards where the offending ray of sunshine was being allowed in.
The tent flap was being held open, just a sliver, and a pair of soft brown eyes, large and doe like in the middle of a tan-skinned face stared at him with interest. She had full round cheeks, youthfulness in every aspect of her cherub like features. The child froze as their eyes met, but slowly she smiled, a dimple in each corner of her mouth.
It was the height of spring, when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and their petals scattered over the still pond in the gardens of the estate. Small pink ships, sailing endlessly on the vast sea.
Takemura was twenty-nine, three years dedicated already as an elite Arasaka soldier and known for his discipline, his dutifulness and his loyalty. When he did not pace the nearby halls, or stand at attention near Saburo-sama’s side, he was allowed to sit kneeled on a small mat on the wooden floor. His hand would remain on one hip, poised over his katana and another over his gun, his eyes sharp and his cyberware readings keenly attuned to every person who may move within the family halls.
It should have been a point of great shame for him then, that the tiny stumble of socked feet did not catch his attention until he found before him a small girl, her cherub cheeks puffed with a smile. She held up a drawing, or rather, scribbles upon paper in varying shades of black and red and tanned peach, all forming together to make a familiar silhouette.
“Taka-san, I drew you!”
In his duty, Takemeru was not to engage with others. He was meant to be as the room, as furniture or a tool left out. A knife on a table. What he was not meant to do, was speak to Saburo-sama’s three year old daughter. She was Saburo-sama’s joy, his greatest treasure, a child he doted on and who went everywhere at her father’s side.
Takemura looked to him now, for guidance, he told himself, but the look he gave Saburo-sama was more aligned with pleading.
“My daughter has presented you with a gift, Takameru. Be polite.” his master said without another glance, turning his attention back to his tablet.
Hanako waited patiently, expectantly. Takemeru found it difficult to even bring the words forth, his tongue sluggish and thick from so long hardly speaking much at all.
“Thank you, Hanako-sama. It is… lovely.”
She beamed, her smile drawing wider until a tiny dimple dotted high on her cheek. With insistence, she held it out for him and with equal amounts of hesitation, Takemeru took his hand from his blade and slipped the paper from her hands.
A voice called out a name, the sound hazy and muted on Takemeru’s ears. The girl turned, answering the call without looking back, leaving only the sway of dropped tent flap to ever prove she was there at all.
Takemeru let his eyes drift back closed, trying to recall the lines, the colors of the drawing. He had kept it, folded and safe beneath his armored vest for several days… but where did it go? What had he done with it after? It had been eighteen years since the blossoms and yet the few months he had spent alone, masterless and exiled, felt so much longer.
The tent opened again and Takemura groaned when the light flashed into his pupils.
“Morning.” a voice spoke, the man who had sewn up his shoulder and his side coming to sit near the cot Takemura was still shackled too. The man, too his wisdom, kept a good distance between them still.
“Is the pain bad? We scrounged up some MaxDoc to help take the edge off if you’re needin’ some.”
Takemura did not reply.
“Also need to change your IV. Sometimes the old ways are the best ways when it comes to saline and good ole H2O…. unless you’re feeling up to drinking some water?”
Water. The very word drew Takemura’s attention to how dry his throat was, how paperlike his tongue felt against the roof of his mouth. Water. His body pleaded to his mind. Water.
Takemura nodded, short and curt.
“Great. Hold on— “
Takemura watched the man as he moved around the tent, doing a good job still of keeping out of arm's reach. As his eyes traced his movements, he noted a change to the room.
There was a second cot set up at his other side.
In the second cot, was V.
Takemura felt a snarl build up near his teeth, a look of disgust and outrage ready to mar his features… until his eyes caught up with his emotions.
V looked terrible. Worse than terrible. Her skin had an unhealthy pallor to it, greyish and clammy. Her breaths were short and slow, as if her own lungs were too tired to make more of an effort. Some strange band was attached around her head, monitors fixed to her temples as a nearby computer beeped and monitored large spikes and numbers that made no sense to Takemura.
The doctor caught him staring as he returned with a cup of water. Takemura sat up as best he could manage, unsurprised when the doctor called in another to stand guard with a gun in their hand while he held the cup for Takemura to drink from. He was not to be unrestrained it would seem, though his prey lay but a scant few feet away.
“Another seizure. Hit her hard. Been out as long as you now, but… well. We’ll see what happens.”
Takemura frowned, “‘What happens’?”
He cursed himself for speaking, but the words were out before he could catch himself.
“If she wakes up. Every time it seems she has one it takes longer and longer… one day I figure she just won’t.”
V had succeeded in removing the relic, had rid herself of her demon and in doing so had thought to free herself from impending doom… and it had all been for nothing. Saburo was dead. Hanako was dead… and V was still going to die.
Takemura refused food when offered and drank only a little, the pain of his wounds a welcome distraction for the turmoil in his chest.
He never would have thought nomads would have such tech available to them, but in the large tent there was enough equipment and cases to fill a small clinic. This man is what Takemura could only imagine was their version of a ripperdoc, but he didn’t have to worry about the man trying to invoke his sympathies towards V for long. A young woman entered the tent and the ripperdoc gave her a respectful nod.
“She good, Tom?” the woman asked and Tom nodded, “Okay. Take a breather.”
She shrugged toward the tent entrance. Tom frowned, but he didn’t argue, getting up and exiting the tent and offering Takemura a quick view of the guards outside. They were still present. Not a good tactical advantage.
The woman set her fists on her hips, eyes narrowed as she scrutinized him with dark brown eyes. She has no visible cyberware to speak of, but it was common for Nomads to reject enhancement, at least in his limited experience.
Takemura, despite his feelings, spoke politely enough.
“I am Takemura Goro. If V has not already informed you.”
The woman looked a bit taken back by his easy words, but after a moment that surprise resumed an expression of suspicion.
“She did. Now you wanna tell me how you found us? And who else knows where we are?”
Takemura frowned, “It is considered extremely rude not to introduce oneself. Even to enemies.”
The woman’s face flushed red down to her neck and her teeth set against the inside of her cheek. She had a short-temper, but also a position of authority and respect given how the ripperdoc had so easily relented to her requests. She was a leader, but a potentially weak one, Takemura set that information aside for later.
“You attack my people and you wanna school me on manners, Corpo?”
“...You have someone I want.” Takemura stated, a simple reasoning for why the young Nomads he encountered were threatened.
“Too god damn bad. Now who else knows where we are?”
Takemura fell silent again, a sigh held back in his throat. V stirred slightly on the cot nearby, drawing both of their attention to the other woman as she flinched and jerked slightly in sleep. The monitors sped for only a moment and then slowed again, whatever neurological event passing quickly.
The Nomad woman’s expression had broken apart quickly from one of stubbornness and annoyance to worry… colored with affection and familial concern. She cared for V. She cared for V very strongly. That would complicate any attempts of persuasion or negotiation, but then again, Takemura had not considered those to be strong tactics to begin with.
The woman looked down at her boots and then, curtly spoke, “I’m Panam Palmer.”
“It is good to meet you, Palmer-san.” Takemeru said, but his words were filled with polite detachment that would make it quite evident even to Panam that they were simply a platitude.
“How did you find us?”
“Simple reconnaissance. I visited towns. Spoke to people. It was difficult for several weeks, but then…” Takemura paused.
“Then?”
“You and your people became lazy.”
Panam sucked in her cheek again, but controlled her emotions.
“Are there others coming?”
“No.”
“Wow… I mean, wow. Didn’t expect you to just offer that one up.”
“I have no reason to lie. My purpose is simple. You and your people are responsible for the death of one I held in utmost regard and respect. I am duty bound to end the life of the one who commanded it.”
Silence followed the end of his words, the steady beeping of the monitor filling the room. Suddenly then, Panam scoffed out a laugh and Takemura jerked his head up to glare at the young woman, forgetting himself.
“Jesus christ… you Corpo’s are really crazy, you know that? You’re ‘duty bound’? By who? You aren’t Arasaka. You aren’t anything. You come here and try to kill my sister because of some deluded belief you owe a buncha criminals and psychopaths? Who don’t want you?”
With each word her volume increased, the look of revulsion so prominent on her features that even if she had chosen not to mince her words, her distaste would have been clear. Negotiation it would seem, was not a viable option.
Takemura felt her words, but only in that they stoked a growing tension edging through his limbs and fueled a gnawing want to snap this crude woman’s neck. He let his anger stream out from his chest and into his hands, clenching them a bit tighter to try and relieve some of the pressure his growing anger exuded.
“This is what is gonna happen,” Panam began, her voice having grown colder, “We’re gonna dump you out on the sand with a quart of motor oil and a pistol and take bets on whether you shoot yourself before or after the thirst makes you crazy enough to drink it.”
The image was certainly— vivid. The sadism of such a statement catching Takemura slightly off guard.
“Wow. ” said a voice instantly recognized by both of them as V’s , “I mean, that is one stone cold line. I think I’ll steal that.”
---
“Shit, V— you need me to get Tom?” Panam had all but forgotten about Takemura, moving around to V’s cot to try and prevent the other woman from getting up.
“No.”
Yes. An indignant Johnny-Silverhand-induced auditory hallucination said quietly in the back of her mind. Maybe one day she’d get lucky and forget what the guy sounded like, then her head-voice would go back to just being her voice.
More importantly, she was nauseated as all fucking get out and Panam’s hand on her arm was doing a great job of making V feel a bit more grounded. She heard a faint click, the sound of someone chidingly clicking their tongue against their teeth and looked up to see Takemura had turned from them both, staring pointedly at nothing. But it was nothing away from V.
“No execution by desert, aight?” V said, lulling her head back towards Panam.
“Sure. Fine. Execution by bullet works just as well.” Panam said, shooting Takemura a dirty look that went unnoticed.
“Talkabout it later.” V said, only slightly slurring her words as she pulled the band off her head and peeled the monitors off a moment later. The computer made an alarming noise and V had a funny feeling it was becoming quickly overcrowded and overly loud for the former Arasaka bodyguard.
“Got an idea to make everyone happy.”
Takemura’s interest had been piqued. V caught him casting a look out of the corner of his eye at her.
---
What the fuck, V. Panam's voice still rang in her head, rolling around in her ears and in her skull and fueling an oncoming headache. For once, the voice didn't sound like Johnny though and maybe that was a good sign.
Of course Panam would hate the plan. But in the end, it wasn’t her choice. It wasn’t her life and although it had gone over about as well as V expected, for now, things were set. When she came back inside the tent, Tom had provided Takemura with an old t-shirt, the design on the front so faded it was barely more than a static of print.
His hair was down, which shrouded the grey near his temples and made him look somehow… younger. Less stiff. The look in his eyes though had not changed. Steel resolve and hardened granite. He had built a wall between them and V could hardly blame him for it… in the end, she hadn’t kept her end of the deal. But then again, she was still right where she was at the start. Sick, dying and Arasaka’s most wanted. So he could hardly say he kept up his either.
“Option one,” she began, “I’m dying. So honestly, killin’ me at this juncture would be a relief from what I got coming for me. It’s gonna be slow. It’s gonna be awful. I’m offering you front row seats to watchin’ my body slowly eat itself alive.”
Takemura’s eyes narrowed.
“I know what you’re thinkin’. ‘But you’re lookin’ for a cure’. We are. Which brings me to option two. We let you stick around while we look. If we find one and I get fixed up? You get your pistols at dawn or whatever. Get the satisfaction of knowing you got to kill me when I’m not already dead. Hell, not gonna lie. You killin' me after all this bullshit and then after I save my life too? That would be... well, I’ll give you a genuine fight for my life. If that’s what you want.”
V shrugged, “And you’ve already heard option three.”
“These options require me staying with this caravan for an unknown amount of time.”
“Six months, actually. Or five rather. So yeah. Five month wait..”
“How do I know they will not kill me before either of these things happen?”
V grinned.
“I asked them nicely.”
“Why?”
Her smile faltered.
“Why not pick option three for yourself?” Takemura said, offering the most practical and simple solution. The one she was sure right now, if they were in reverse situations, he would take.
It was a good damn question too. And V was certain she had a good damn answer half a second ago, but now with Takemura staring at her, grey eyes shrewd and with just a flicker of uncertainty… shit, seeing him at all… it made the words sound so ridiculous.
“I told you I didn’t mean for what happened to happen. I owe you, for a lot and this is the only way it’ll… sit right. For us both, I think. You don’t seem the type that would get much satisfaction outta killing me how I am now.”
V laughed, a nervous bubble of sound as she turned her eyes away and picked at a frayed thread on the knee of her pants.
“Also...guess cause we were friends once I feel like I should give you some closure. Not somethin’ I’ve gotten much in life, but welp. Here is my chance to give some.”
“...You wish to die with some honor restored.” Takemura’s voice for once held no trace of disgust, no edge of hatred. His voice was quiet, resigned. Understanding. It was not a tone V had ever thought to hear again from the man.
“Yeah, sure... if you’ll let me.”
Neither of them met each other's eyes. Two people, staring holes into opposite sides of a tent, as if refusing to acknowledge one another would somehow make them feel less.
“It is two options, not three.”
V looked up at the remark.
“Option one is, remain to witness your death or be the cause of it should you recover. Option two is motor oil and pistol.”
V held back a smile just barely. How could someone remain this pedantic even when discussing such a morbid topic?
“I accept option one.” Takemura met her eyes, only briefly, “I am patient man. I can wait.”
“Plus it gives you time to actually heal and then say fuck it and off me in my sleep or something.”
Takemura wrinkled his nose, “I could ‘off’ you now if you’d like.”
He pulled up his arm, revealing that at some time during all this chatting and debating he had gotten out of one of the cuffs.
Takemura casually used his other hand to put his thumb back in its socket, finding it impossible to miss how V did a full body shudder at the sound.
“Hard pass.” she said, still cringing.
“I will honor my word,” Takemura said, easily making work of the other handcuff and tossing it aside. He flexed his fingers, bringing them up to begin pulling his hair out of his face. V, for some reason, felt compelled to avert her gaze. It felt weirdly intimate, like she was watching him undress. Takemura brushed his fingertips over his wrist, frowning to himself before letting his hair go, falling back around his shoulders.
“You need a scrunchie?” V asked, unable to stop the small smile from forming at the corner of her mouth. What could she say? Johnny had tried to kill her once and she forgave him. Her standards were never exactly high. And a part of her, a small hopeful part of her thought maybe there was still time to make something right before she died.
Wrong city for happy endings. Her inner voice chided in Johnny's flat tone. But they weren't in Night City anymore.
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lady-plantagenet · 3 years
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♦ for all three sons of York! 😄
Asked via the Headcanon Meme: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/634584063141920769/headcanon-meme.
Darling I apologise for the delay 😭😂, hope you enjoy this semi-historical train of thought. You indulge me xx ☺️☺️ (rest of you get ready for a similar level of uncalled for ridiculous levels of detail)
♦ - Quirks/Hobbies Headcanons
~Edward IV~
Ok, one more grounded in reality and some more Headcanonish:
So, in Lord Edward Lytton-Bulwer’s ‘Last of the Barons’ I uncovered a fascinating (and primary-sourced) fact about our Edward: He engaged in international trades of his own. Apparently, he had his own ships and vessels that would jettison wool to and fro Burgundy. The trading classes, with whom Edward was always on great terms, were initially thrilled and felt a bit of sense of connection because of this. However, it became a bit of a bother when his self-given exemption from custom and duties gave him an unfair competitive advantage. Since reading that, I’ve always seen Edward as someone whose hobbies revolve around these types of matters rather than military ones. I really headcanon trading as a genuine hobby of his. With that, I would also connect other practical as opposed to artistic or conventional pastimes. I always saw Elizabeth Woodville as the big account manager (based on how she ran her crown property), so I headcanon Edward as liking to meddle in the external more merchantile matters, which translates to enjoying himself by making wagers/bets with those around him and always winning whether it be on personal matters or businesses (sometimes even in appropriately on women of the court). Not to mention a talent at games like cards and dice. If he lived today he would be the grand master of monopoly 😂. He wasn’t the most intellectual of men (he was at one point planning on defunding Eton College to get funds), but I always headcanoned he was pretty strong at maths (which was part of a nobleman’s education, but at that time it was mastery of the arts that granted you the reputation of a smartman). Of course, this fits in with his historical interest in alchemy, which I headcanon he was also partly interested in because of the potential of it yielding gold, but upon his marriage, the mystical side beckoned him too.
~ George Duke of Clarence~
I’ve done one for him here, which you can check out. But hell, do I have a lot of headcanons about him so I’ll do another here.
Our George was by all accounts a talented demagogue. His performance in the inheritance dispute indeed adds stock to what chronicles such as Rous Rolls and Crowland have said about his oratory and reasoning talents (which allegedly were rival to Edward’s own). Though some personality quirks could make him appear like a bit of a (popular Headcanon nowadays) himbo: penchant for airing out his grievances, flamboyancy and a great pride which combined with a famous sense of humour leads to instances where it verges into innappropriate levels of macabre (his own death being the prime example).
N.b: and yes I do in fact believe he was drowned in a barrel of wine and by his choosing. I don’t need Shakespeare to tell me this, I need only look at the strong evidence proposing this: a) Margaret Pole’s barrel charm, b) The fact that his head was reported as attached to his body when his body was exhumed centuries later. Drowning in a bath is another possibility, but then again, it was famously a womanly execution and I doubt a man as self-important as George would have been alright with the association, c) The fact that contemporaries such as Mancini (among others) have stated that this is the manner in which he died. Shakespeare’s play just further reflects that at that time (as in closer to 1478 then we are now) this was the consensus. Not to mention that in Richard III he wasnt technically drowned but stabbed and then thrown in a barrel. Arguments against center around ‘this seems just a bit too crazy’ but stop there.
So where was I? Oh yes. So in spite of that, I headcanon teenage George as very resentful of those who thought him bumbling, giddy and unserious (young Richard especially), because well, he was very touchy about his pride and saw himself as a prince worthy of deference and gravity (multitude of evidence for this). His charming nature never left him even as he grew bitter but instead he learned to harness it into a mask in order to induce others into error and subestimation. Indeed, much of his earlier successes hinged on the fact that Edward didn’t expect that level of planning (and betrayal) from him. Nevertheless, he never hid his talents completely, he had a very astute legal mind and I headcanon him as having a hobby for the law since he was a young boy and realised how useful this knowledge would prove in time and loved it on an intellectual level as he engaged with debates on matters from trusts laws to constitutional canonical and jurisprudential matters, first with his tutors, then his brothers, then Warwick and then his chief supporters and friends at Warwick and Tutbury when he became a magnate post-1472. Of course, I feel like this fits in with the impression of an argumentative and opinionated man as exuded from the historical figure. I also headcanon him as being delighted to have had Caxton’s Games and Playes of Chess (1474) dedicated to him (becoming one of his patron around this time historically). It remains the second book printed in English (first being Anthony’s dictes and sayings of philosophers - I think) and I headcanon him as doing the head in of all those around him with discussions and debates around the book’s message XD.
~Richard III~
Richard gets a reputation in fiction (where other people get most of their headcanons from) as being extremely serious. I personally share this Headcanon and I feel it was the most striking difference between him and his brothers’ personalities. I think he had very little ‘quirks’ as it were. Though there was this author (haven’t read the book) Jonathan Hughes who somehow manages to write an entire book about Richard’s interesting divination. He draws onto some vaguely paganistic symbols among Richard III’s choice of clothing and such, and posits that he had some interest in pre-conquest Northern religious culture. Anne Neville who by all accounts seemed to have had some interest in mysticism (read and discussed Ghostly Grace by a German mystic with her mother-in-law at length) I headcanon bonded with Richard over conversing on these types of topics. Therefore, I headcanon him as having a (very very lowkey because, as I said, he took great care in presenting himself as conventional and unsuspicious) hobby for northern paganisms, myths, prophecies and the like. I think it would explain what appears to be the historical figures ‘apparent hypocritical personality: Only banning benevolences after first trying to acquire them, having Shore pay penance when he himself had fathered bastards (John probably during his first year of marriage if Kendall’s reasoning is right) and aspiring and holding others to strict chivalric values of which he often fell short. The signs of stress found in isotopic analysis on his bones however makes me think that he was aware of these contradictions. Of course, he could have been stressed around the time of his death for other obvious reasons, but I’m not getting into that here. I suppose my headcanon of him as very utilitarian (yes I know Bentham came centuries later but, you know, he didn’t exactly invent this manner of thought) in his beliefs classifies as a quirk? Haha. As for hobbies, I think his scoliosis made him eschew some of the more physically demanding types of sports, so I see him as fairly bookish and like his brother George, extremely interested in the law as a hobby (though nowadays we wrongly see it as a rather vocational discipline). Though he shared the interest in matters of jurisprudence with George (about which they both strongly disagreed Richard taking the less fiscally conservative stance), he was more interested in criminal law matters (which checks out as he had made reforms on the criminal law and bail). I think he was genuinely concerned with justice, just a bit self-contradictory in his approach and diverse in his spirituality (the last more headcanonish)
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juviin · 4 years
Note
who are your favorite top ten black clover characters & ships? talk about them!
ok!! lets gooo (i’m sorry this took SO long and it is SO long I just have Lots of Thoughts)
Characters-
Noelle--yea I love Noelle. Her development is one of the best I’ve ever seen. At the beginning she was always looking down on others and felt so little confidence in herself, but look at her now. I think another big part of it is that I caught up to the manga right at her fight with Kivn lol
Finral--I love him, he’s so stupid! Fr tho, usually I’m not a fan of the like playboy type characters, but there’s something about Finral. I love the fight vs Vetto where we see him and Nessa throw Asta around. He’s just so caring to those around him ;;
Mereoleona--She’s feral!! I love so so much about Mereo. For one, her solution to every problem is just “set it on fire” and I would love to care so little about things (two Astas? set them both on fire). I also just love that we have this crazy powerful, feared by everyone, doesn’t care about anything character and she’s a woman! (also, I share a birthday with her!!!)
Asta--Babyyyyyy. There have been a lot of series that ive read where I love the side characters, but the main characters just fall a little flat for me. But nope, not Asta. I feel like my issue is that a lot of them are just stupid and happy all the time, but Asta isn’t! he’s dumb, but we also see him have complex emotions.
Leopold--I just love the fire Vermillions. Leo is so sweet. I love how he met Asta for 2 seconds and was like okay! You're my rival now! He’s precious and I want to give him hugs.
Vanessa-ok I love Vanessa so much. I think it's because she reminds me a bit of my older sister, but I love how she's all the Bulls' big sister.
Zora--Mr. Sexy...So I love his personality but can we talk about his DESIGN for a sec? He walks around looking like a mannequin in a bdsm store. Also, I have a bit of a Thing with piercings (and also with pointy teeth). But also? He's just an asshole and I love it. also i think his backstory is SO interesting. we hear about the classism in bc alot but we don't very often hear about the ramifications of it. so yea, since we know the nobles and royals suck ass it's nice to see a character that actually fights against the corruption in the nobility
Fuegoleon--come on, how can you not love him? he makes me want to do my best
Vanica--ok i know she’s crazy but she is very attractive. She is a favorite character in an i want you to get beat up/i want you to beat me up kinda way
Nozel--he's hot! Seriously though, I'm really starting to like him. I think once we get more development for him I'll like him even more
Ships: (i dont have a ton of romance ships so itll be half romance and half platonic)
Asunoe--Ugh they're just so sweet. I just want them both to be happy and i love how (despite Noelles tsun) at the end of the day they support each other and believe in each other so strongly.
Fana and Mars--We haven’t seen them in literally forever (and I’m Concerned for Mars rn..) but oh my god they are in love. Tabata please bring them back...
Licht and Tetia--god i know we’ve only seen little bits and pieces of Tetia and theyre both dead but their story makes my heart hurt in a way no other romance does. Their ending was so tragic, I wish they had the opportunity to be happy ;;
Luck and Magna--seriously i LOVE their relationship. The fight at the beginning of the reincarnation arc and their hug at the end of it.;; my heart
Yami and Charlotte--ah, the queen of tsun. I really like couples with different vibes. Like Yami the human fridge who walks around in a wife beater and beautiful noblewoman Charlotte.
Platonic:
Vanessa and Noelle+Asta-- *looks at icon* could you have guessed? Seriously tho I love how she’s like a big sister to the two of them and helps them out a lot ;;
Yami and Asta--UGH THE MOST RECENT FIGHT. u kno the you are my dad vine? thats Asta @ Yami
Yuno and Asta--ok i kno a lot of ppl like them romantic BUT their like brotherly relationship kills me. During the Kiten fight when Finral expected Yuno to talk shit but then he didnt uu
Noelle Mimosa and Leo--lol i just want to see these disaster royals hang out together more. 
Noelle+siblings--i just want them all to apologize to her and give her lots of love is that too much to ask? Tabata?
Honorable mentions:
Character: Mimosa is a precious darling and id die for her
Romantic: Vanessa/Yami and Yunoelle. I just think theyre neat.
Platonic: Finral and Noelle. Shitty siblings gang
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