#the only thing my brain has let me draw in a good couple weeks

[steven-scribbleverse]

#the only thing my brain has let me draw in a good couple weeks #embracing the ''scribble'' part #steven universe #steven universe future #ft. not-steven #connie maheswaran #scribbleverse #su #also I got my first ticket today

[jeanboyjean]

and i - ft. jean kirstein

summary: jean (successfully) tries to make you feel better after a recent breakup

content: friends to lovers, fluff, good vibes, jean brainrot to the max, modern au, college au

a/n: for @honeybleed 90s/00s rnb event!! <3 jean fluff hehehe bc i can't get him out of my brain and he is THE comfort character. inspired by and i - ciara. i love this song big time ♡ laughed so hard watching the music video when she brought out the horse lmaooo 🤔 for my fellow jean girlies!!!

1.2k words

"ugh, i hate him," you grumble, sinking into the couch with a heavy sigh.

jean glances at you, concern etched on his face. "what now?" he asks, taking a seat beside you.

crossing your arms, you slump into the cushions. "he just posted a picture of him with that girl. what a fucking asshole."

jean clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disapproval. "why are you still on his profile? you need to forget about him."

with a frustrated sigh, you shut off your phone. it’s been a few weeks since you ended things with your ex, a decision long overdue. the relationship had lost what little spark had been there in the first place, dragging on for as long as the two of you would let it. the final straw had been when you had found the sexts he had sent to a girl in one of his classes. it stings and it sucks but more than anything, your pride is wounded. the sadistic part of you can’t resist the urge to keep tabs on him and wallow in resentment.

"i have forgotten about him," you say defiantly. "he's just unfortunately like the gum stuck on the bottom of my shoe."

jean lets out a low chuckle. his hands fall to his thighs as he pushes up off the couch. "okay, you know what. let's go for a drive."

curiosity flickers in your eyes as you look up at him, wondering where this is going. 

"come on, let's go," he urges, reaching forward to grab your hand. you let him pull you to your feet.

"alright, fine. but you're shouting me coffee," you tell him with a roll of your eyes, a small smile winning over.

"always," he winks in return with a mischievous lift to his lips.

the music blares as you drive, jean tapping his fingers along to the beat. you hum along, watching the scenery pass by with your window down, letting the cool air blow away your tension. the recent events start to fade away and your mind wanders back to your first break up a couple years ago during your first year of university. jean had been there then too, holding you as you had cried and simmered, until you were ready to put yourself back together. 

he had refused to let you mope around, forcing you to go out with him to movies and parties and bars. he had been the one to listen to your problems as you poured your heart out, making his shoulders your personal dumping ground. jean had been there for you through it all.

you deserve someone who loves all of you. the words he had said to you back then, ring clear in your mind. 

there has always been an underlying tension between you two, a quiet undercurrent that flows beneath the surface of your friendship. from the moment you first saw him, standing across the room at a party in first year, his presence has captured your attention drawing you to him like a magnet. you had become fast friends, sharing everything together from your classes, to your interests, to your deepest darkest secrets.

part of you wonders if he’s ever felt the same way. sometimes you wonder what it would be like if you had found the courage to tell him your feelings, but now you’re in too deep, the confines of your friendship too strong. all this time, you’re pining after him while trying to fill the void with other people, only to be crushed over and over. dreams of making a move dance in your mind, but the fear of jeopardising your friendship holds you back. you’re happy this way, if only because it means you can have him in your life. you’ve sealed these thoughts away in your heart and thrown away the key. 

jean's hand lifts from the steering wheel to turn down the music. "what are you thinking about?" he asks.

you cross your arms to hug yourself. "why is it so hard to find someone? am I just destined to be forever alone?"

he flicks your knee teasingly. "maybe you're looking in the wrong places." he turns his head briefly to meet your eyes. “plus, how can you be forever alone when you have me."

you roll your eyes and poke his shoulder before turning away. “yeah, and where should I be looking then?”

he pulls into the car park in front of your favourite coffee shop, shutting off the car and turning to you. he stills for a moment and takes a deep breath, letting it sit for a moment before releasing. a hand pulls through his hair, coming to rest on the back of his neck. "why not me?" he asks, turning to face you.

your eyes narrow at his words. "don't play around, jean."

"nah, I'm serious," he says. there's a hint of uncertainty in his voice but his gaze is unwavering. "you know I would do anything for you." 

you freeze, chest tightening, feeling the air being sucked out of the car. you hear his words but they don't register, refusing to sink in. the sincerity in his words hang in the air, and for a moment, time seems to stand still. in the quiet, jean's confession lingers like a promise. you want to believe him, to let go of the fear that consumes you but you can't help but hold back.

you shake your head, uncertain of the implications. you’ve both said things like this to each other before, never ones to hold back on sentiment, but something about them today carry a weight you can’t ignore.

"but aren't we friends? i don't want to ruin what we have."

he reaches for your hand across the centre console, his fingers intertwining with yours. his thumb brushes against your skin, sending tingles up your arm. “i would never let anything ruin what we have,”  he says, his eyes never leaving yours, gaze tender but firm. “i've wanted to say this for a long time."

with his free hand, he cups your cheek and leans in, brushing your hair aside. "i could have everything in the world, but I would sacrifice it all for you. stop wasting your time with these losers.” 

your heart pounds, breath catching in your throat. slowly, you allow yourself to acknowledge the feelings that have lingered beneath the surface. "jean..." you whisper, the sound barely escaping your lips.

"please. let me show you."

his lips meet yours, and for a moment, you forget about everything else. the world disappears, leaving only the two of you. it feels like a dream as he pulls you in, your chest flush against his. your fingers comb through his hair, your heart thumping in your chest.

everything about him overwhelms you. his scent, the way his hair feels between your fingers. and the softness of his lips, gentle and warm against your own. 

his hands slide from where they’re tangled in your own hair down to hold your arms, squeezing lightly. he pulls back, his eyes searching yours. the moment hangs in the air, the intensity heavy between you.

"are you okay with this?" he asks, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear.

you nod. a smile stretches across your cheeks as you look up at jean, whose expression mirrors yours. 

it’s more than okay. it’s everything.

you let yourself fall into the moment, unlocking the key to your heart, letting yourself want him. hope flickers in you, anticipation for what this could mean. you finally reach for the love that has always wanted to reveal itself. and this time, it feels real. 

#jean kirschstein #jean kirstein #attack on titan #jean kirschtien #jean x reader #✎ . chloe wrote smth #aot #aot x reader

[mooncello]

Hey friends. Holy wow my big sad brain took me out this past week. I couldn't touch anything creative until the last couple days. (The warm sunshine is helping.) I'm on my fourth rewrite of chapter two for lost boys. (Fourth!) I think this is the version y'all are gonna see because I cannot keep doing this to myself. At some point, things just need to be good enough, yeah?

Eternal gratitude for @thewholelemon who has read every version, every axed sentence and dead end, and continues to offer sage wisdom, feedback and encouragement. Jenny, you're also reminding me to have fun, and, well, I honestly think I would have given up on this thing by now without you. Alllll the love, my friend. 🩵

For today, I'm sharing part of a scene that ended up on the cutting room floor. Enjoy this dead darling as it's headed to the compost pile. In the spirit and practice of having fun and not overthinking things, it is unedited.

It's also long so I've placed it under the cut.

A delighted laugh spills out of my mouth, and I hold out my arms in a raw embrace of the elements, tilting my face into the warm rain and feeling the water collect in the dips of my eye sockets. Eventually I blink open my eyes to find Simon racing between thick, tall flower stems with Pockets. Simon stops for a breath and looks over his shoulder at me, his smile bright and open and wide. It only takes a couple minutes before we are completely soaked through. “Tink didn’t tell me it would rain,” Simon says once he’s finished running around and joins me by an enormous tower of purple orchids. “I don’t mind it,” I reply. I don’t, really. Not when it feels like the most luxurious hot shower, surrounded by giant flowers. Not when Simon is standing in front of me, his soaked t-shirt clinging to his form like a second skin. (That’s happening more – me noticing things like that. Specifically about Simon.) (He’s a dream. It’s fine. I wish he were real, but it’s fine.) “Let’s go dry off,” Simon laughs. We part ways with the others and return to the flat rocks overlooking the sea. The rain ends at the meadow’s edge, so it’s nothing but big blue sky and gentle sunshine as we stretch out on the rocks. A slow, balmy wind sweeps over us from the ocean. It smells of salt and lime and driftwood. The sun-warmed sandstone bleeds its warmth into my back, and I release a contented sigh. “Fuck…” I draw the word out so long it turns into a groan. “The sun feels good.” Simon gives a lazy laugh and rolls onto his stomach, resting his head across his arms. Our bodies make a near-perfect 90 degree angle. “I feel like a cat,” I mumble. “I don’t want to move. Ever.” There’s no response. Simon is silent, which is unusual for him. I squint open an eye against the bright sunlight and glance over at him, only to find him staring at me. His curls fall over his forehead and his eyelashes are still clumped together, thick with meadow rain.  My stomach swoops. I feel exposed under his gaze. “What?” The faintest pink sweeps down his neck, and his eyes flick away. “Nothing.” He sniffs. “I mean, do you ever – I dunno…Would you…” He trails off, and I’m too sun-drunk to fully pursue. “They’re called words, Simon,” I drawl. Simon scrunches his nose and tucks his chin over his arms, tilting his head at me. “What d’you wanna do after drying off?” That isn’t what he had wanted to say, but I’m loose-limbed from the sun and distracted by the way his forearms are folded over one another. I tear my eyes away from his arms and say with a deep sigh, “Told you. I’m never moving from this rock. I’m a cat. A lizard. I’ve entered my reptilian era.” Simon laughs again, and the sound finds every crack inside my body and fills it with a warmth that surpasses the sun.

thank you for the tag @thewholelemon

no-pressure tags and hellos:

@best--dress, @shrekgogurt, @bookish-bogwitch, @cutestkilla, @artsyunderstudy, @nightimedreamersworld, @facewithoutheart, @whatevertheweather, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @ileadacharmedlife, @stitchyqueer, @valeffelees, @orange-peony, @larkral & @iamamythologicalcreature (ty for the art chat 🎨🧡)

#lost boys #my writing #simon snow #baz pitch #six sentence sunday #snowbaz fic

[frecklystars]

im gonna start making doodles trying to reclaim my TF F/Os that i've lost, maybe once a week or once every two weeks... or once a month?? i dont know, i will try to keep some consistency but i really need to start slow on this. here's to hoping that drawing them every once in a while will make even just the smallest difference.

im so sick of associating these characters with my abuser and i'm so sick of the immediate fight or flight response that i get when just looking at pictures of TF characters or even the voice actors. i have tried just about everything... therapy, medication, exercise, watching a few clips from the shows, buying cameos, commissioning art/fics, talking to voice actors in person at conventions... nothing has helped me get better at all. i tried giving up on TF entirely, throwing out/giving away all of my TF merch, refusing to touch the franchise, but that has only made me more and more miserable as time has passed. it has been over a year since [insert the most horrific experiences ever here] happened to me and since i associated that with a long list of things, TF included. and im! sick! of feeling bad! so! if im gonna be miserable no matter what, then i might as well try to get better, right?? drawing my F/Os loving me has never failed me before, so here's to hoping it isn't gonna fail me now. i am quite the stubborn bitch and i refuse to allow my main coping mechanism i've used for 2 decades to remain tainted forever and ever 😤😤

these will be the shakiest, shittiest doodles imaginable, but i think drawing the robots i miss so much at least once a month can help me rewire my brain into believing they're safe again and they love me and i'm not in danger. i think the best thing that will help me is drawing my Ryan F/Os interacting with them as "proof" that they're safe to be around, that they've "approved of" them, will help me slowly reclaim them. fake it til you make it as they say. let's try this for maybe just a couple of months as a slow start and see how it goes :/

any TF doodles will be tagged as "reclaiming robots tag" and nothing else - free to blacklist it if you dont wanna see. i'll most likely be rarely posting these but jic //shrug

anyway. yay. attempts number one and two. i like to think barbie and ken stop by the starflower meadow every now and then because stsc summons them across the multiverse, asking them how i'm doing, if i'm safe, if i miss him at all. wow i am shaking so bad. ha ha haaa. these took about ten?? minutes?? so woohoo to ten minutes of drawing TF. im proud of myself for trying. even if i dont go through with this and end up not being able to draw TF ever again, at least i managed this one single post. if i keep this up, maybe a year from now, or two years or five years or whatever, i'll be able to handle it. i don't even expect to hyperfixate on TF ever again because my self shipping will never ever be the same w/ them -- i'll never interact with the fandom again, i'll never reblog fanart or gifsets or anything like that ever again, if i even somehow managed to feel good enough to actually throw myself back into the shows -- but i want to think i'll feel indifferent to it one day. to not have that fight or flight response. that is my goal. literally the bare fucking minimum <3

anyway. i'm super nauseous. this is so incredibly hard! holy shit!!! but that's why i have to do this. to quote pedro pascal, i am going to have a panic attack and i am going to leave 👍✨

(BTW I am still gonna stay offline for a few more days. I am back from vacation but I am SO burnt out I don't want to interact with dms/my inbox yet. I just wanted to post this just to get it out of my system and let it disappear into the void. But I will be back later this week bc I still have some commissions to finish and I wanna gush about my very exciting time meeting steve/tom/the brba cast. anyway... goodnight. i love you. smooch)

#reclaiming robots tag

[spiderispunk]

Dangerous

Pairing: Billy Russo x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: Smut (18+ only please). Knife Play. D/s Dynamics. Restraints. Oral Sex (f!receiving). Fingering. Unprotected Sex. Teeny Tiny Breeding Kink. Aftercare.

A/N: I have no defense for this. Billy with knives just makes me brain go brrrrrrrrr. This is a continuation of my 2021 Kinktober fic. All typos and mistakes are my own.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Billy asks for what has to have been the 20th time in the last five minutes. He looms over you, checking the silk ties that secure your hands above your head. “Because we can stop. Just say the word.” 

You look up at him, bottom lip trapped between your teeth as you eye the slender silver knife– one of a twin set– he holds in his hand. “Yes.” The word leaves you in an embarrassingly breathless squeak. 

You were more than sure. 

You’ve wanted this ever since you saw him train with the same knives a few months ago. There was something equal parts dangerous and alluring about him at that moment. The way Billy sliced and jabbed with such precision. The sharp blades slashing through the fabric of the burlap dummies, spilling tufts of cotton onto the floor. The beautiful, yet menacing, arc of the steel knife as it whistled through the air and embedded itself in the wooden post across the room. You could barely suppress the fire you felt as you watched Billy lunge and strike, fluid and graceful like a lethal dancer. 

Then came the dreams. Short and lustful things. The delicious slide of cool steel along your skin. The skate of the knife on your skin; not sharp enough to draw blood, but just enough pressure for you to feel it. The intoxicating lull of risk, the thrill of being under Billy’s control. The filthy snapshots had provided enough fodder for your sessions of self-gratification to last weeks. 

Yes, you’d wanted this for a while. It just took a couple drinks and a risky game of Truth or Dare to get you to work up the courage and say it out loud. And Billy, well, he had just grinned slyly like the cat that got the cream. 

“If we do this,” Billy mumbles, running his fingertips over the hollow of your throat to trace the dips of your collarbone. “You’re gonna have to stay completely still. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not into that.” 

You twist your wrists, testing the strength of Billy’s knots. They hold fast. No way you’re going anywhere until he sets you free. You draw your lips into a pout.

“Don’t give me that look,” Billy says with a sharp shake of his head. “I want you to enjoy this. I want to enjoy this. So stay still, you understand?” 

“Okay.” You nod. 

Billy goes rigid. He rolls his shoulders back and tilts his head to the side. “‘Okay?’” There’s an authoritative edge on his tongue, and his eyebrow ticks upwards sharply. 

You swallow thickly, heat already building in your stomach at the switch in demeanor. “Yes, sir.” Your tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip. 

“Good girl.” Billy squeezes your chin. “Safeword?” 

“Starfish.” You respond.

“Color?” 

“Green,” you huff impatiently, trying to rub your thighs together, but the weight of his body on top of yours stops you. 

Billy presses his lips to yours softly, and sucks on your bottom lip in lieu of a reward. “We’ll take it slow, okay?” 

Even though taking it slow is the last thing you want him to do right now, you nod.

He holds the knife in front of your face, letting it catch the light, so you can see what he’s doing. Then, slowly, he turns the blade over so the blunt side is facing you and lowers it ever so slightly. 

You let out the most desperate noise when the knife touches your throat, and it takes every bit of strength inside of you to remain motionless as Billy drags the blade down the slope of your neck. He holds it against your pulse for a moment, relishing in the hitch in your chest as the smooth bit shallowly presses into your skin. His dark eyes follow your every move, fascination etching itself into his furrowed brow and clenched jaw. 

Billy’s free hand reaches behind him to slide up your thigh and comes to rest between your legs. He pushes your panties to the side and delves a finger between your dripping folds. The knife stays frozen in place, his hand holding steady, even as he plays with the slick between your thighs. 

He’s completely in control. Exactly how he likes to be. Exactly how you want him. 

“You like this, don’t you?” Billy breathes, circling a finger around your throbbing clit. “Me pressing a knife to your throat while I play with your pussy?” 

“I do.” Your voice is broken. 

“Fuck, beautiful. You’re not even fighting it.” He puts more pressure on your  clit and you whine. “You’re just gonna let me do whatever I want to you as long as I have this, hm?” The knife glides a little lower, caressing the curve of your shoulder. 

You tilt your head back, baring your throat to him. “I trust you.” 

You do. You really do. You’ve never doubted him for a moment. Not his love for you, not his promise to take care of you. He is so confident in his movements, so sure. The knife he holds is almost an extension of his body. Caressing your skin exactly like his fingertips would. You feel completely safe. 

Billy lets out a noncommittal hum, but you can tell the words mean a lot to him by the light flush that dances over his jaw. He slips the knife under the strap of the thin lacy bra you’re wearing and flicks his wrist. The band breaks as easily as if it were made of butter. 

You don’t even have it in you to scold him for ruining the lingerie, you just sit there limply and whimper. He repeats the motion with the other band and traces the blade over the top of your breasts. 

Billy chuckles darkly. “You’re soaking.” He easily presses his fingers into your cunt  and curls them slightly.  

Understatement of the century. You think this is the wettest you’ve ever been. You can feel the warmth of it dripping down your inner thighs and pooling on the sheets. 

“Breathe, baby,” he chides, digging the blade against your sternum and slicing up between the cups of your bra. The lacy material falls away in two parts and Billy lifts the knife away from your skin, giving you a chance to move. 

You exhale and shift under Billy’s weight. “Shit.” 

You’re on cloud 9 right now. Dizzy and weightless with pleasure.  Your heart flits in your chest, and adrenaline courses through your body. You feel as if you’ve just run a marathon, and Billy’s barely even touched you yet. 

“Open.” Billy teases his fingers against your lips. 

You suck them into your mouth, eager for the taste of you on his skin. You swirl your tongue around the pad of his fingers, and Billy pushes them deeper into your mouth. You gag slightly, eyelids fluttering shut.

“Good girl,” he mumbles, smearing your own spit onto your cheeks and chin. “Still green?” He searches your gaze for any sign of hesitation. 

“Yes,” you all but whimper. “Can we keep going? Please?” You ask. Anticipation builds in your chest, and your stomach turns and flips with butterflies. 

He chuckles, low and quiet. “Look at you begging for it.” He presses the knife flat against the side of your breast. “Should have ran from the room screaming. Any other sane person would’ve, but not you. Not my dirty girl,” Billy murmurs, pride lacing his voice. 

You preen at the praise, give him a heavy-lidded look that makes him curse under his breath. Your eyes slide down his body, to the obvious erection he’s sporting in his boxers. 

Billy follows your gaze and snorts. “See what you do to me?” He asks, rolling his hips against your stomach with a groan. “Drive me fucking crazy. You’re the prettiest girl in the whole goddamn world. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.” 

“I want you to touch me.” 

“Where?” His eyes dart down your body. 

“Anywhere. Just��fuck–please.”

Billy hums. His fingers move again, charting a path down your body.

You strain your neck to watch him trace your body with the knife’s blade. Silver against your supple skin. He takes his time, following every dip and curve. You let out a whimper when the cool edge rolls over the peaked bud of your nipples, fight the urge to jump when it trails over your stomach. Everywhere the knife goes, it leaves goosebumps in its wake. 

He shimmies down the bed to kneel between your parted legs and pushes your thighs further apart. Two fingers fill your aching pussy, thrusting slowly, as if he means to savor every moment. 

“Fucking beautiful,” Billy murmurs, and kisses the inside of your knee. 

His fingers fill you deliciously. Perfectly fucking you with slow drags. In. Out. His practiced touch sets your body aflame. Between the knife on your skin and his fingers inside of you, you’re already embarrassingly close to coming.

Billy runs the knife over the waistband of your panties and you buck your hips forward. You can’t help it. The promise of more sets your blood aflame. 

“Hey,” he warns, voice clipped. 

“Sorry,” you whisper sheepishly.  

“You’re such a mess, baby,” Billy says with a cocky grin. He hooks the blade into the elastic. “What do you want?” 

You don’t speak--you can’t. You’re too choked up with lust, the most you can muster is a quiet whisper of his name. 

Billy’s fingers still within you. “That’s not an answer. I asked what you wanted.” He clicks his tongue. “Use your words.”

“I--I want--” You stutter. “I want you.” 

“Want me to what?” He rewards you with a slow thrust of his fingers. “Hm? What should I do to you?” His lips brush up along the inside of your quivering thighs. Billy buries his nose into the damp fabric and moans. “Talk to me, pretty girl. Tell me what you want,” he whispers. 

You shudder as his warm breath fans over your panties, seeps through the soaking fabric and over your cunt.

“Fuck me.” You finally gather up the strength to say. “I want you to fuck me. Press that knife against my throat while you make me come.” 

Billy makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat at your words. His eyes meet yours, dark in their intensity which matches the fevered pitch of your voice. A slow smirk spreads over his face, and when he speaks, his tone is tight and measured. 

“I will, baby. I promise. I just want to get my mouth on you, yeah?” he mumbles. “That alright with you? Can I taste your sweet pussy? Make you come on my tongue first?” 

You throw your head back against the pillow, bite your bottom lip so hard you might draw blood. “Fuck, Billy, please.” 

His large hand lands on your clit. The impact stings and you cry out. 

“Who?” He snaps.

“Sir.” You correct yourself. “I’m sorry.” 

“Shh. It’s okay, beautiful.” Billy soothes the sting away with his thumb. “Let’s try again, yeah? I asked if you were gonna let me taste your pretty pussy, and you say?” His eyebrows raise expectantly.

You swallow thickly. “Yes, sir.” 

“There she is,” He whispers against the crux of your thigh. “That’s a good girl. Now, relax, baby. Let me take care of you.” 

The knife saws through the soaked lace of your underwear. He tugs the scraps down and off your legs, and settles between your thighs once more. His thumb swirls around your clit again, the pressure just enough to keep you on edge, but not take you over.

Billy starts at your knee, kissing the side of it. Then his lips trail down your thighs, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your heated skin. His tongue dips out for a taste, swirling and swirling and driving you into a frenzy. A frenzy intensified when he bites down, leaving perfect crescent marks behind. He stays like this, teasing you slowly, until you’re a whimpering mess beneath him. 

It’s all too much. The warm, wet slick of his tongue. The rough scrape of his beard. The subtle circling of his thumb on your clit. And there, hanging over all of it, the cool press of the knife against your body. A silent assertion of control. 

Your whispered, desperate pleas, don’t have your intended effect of hurrying him along. If anything, he slows down further. Watching the internal battle you wage to stay still, even as you’re being slowly wound up, with a dark grin on his face. Savoring the sight of you so shameless, so wanton.

Just when his lips finally reach your aching pussy– just when you start to think that maybe he’ll have mercy on you and give you some kind of relief– Billy switches to your other thigh, and the taunting ritual starts all over again. 

You huff impatiently, grinding your hips up against his thumb for more friction. The fog of lust that washes over your mind leaves no room for rational thought of warnings or consequences.  

Billy sighs. “Oh, sweetheart. Wish you hadn’t done that. Wish you woulda just stayed still for me.” His thumb stops, and he sits back on his knees.

“No, no, no,” you whine, tears springing to your eyes. “It was an accident.” 

“Oh,” Billy coos. “Is that right? Looked like you were getting greedy, honey.”

You blink up at him, eyes wide and apologetic. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Please, I just need you so badly.” 

“That’s twice tonight, honey. I think you’re forgetting who’s calling the shots here.” Billy twirls the knife deftly between his fingers, reminding you of the power he has over you. “Do I need to remind you?” 

You shake your head, tongue darting out to wet your lips. You watch the blade glint in the light of the room. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

Billy leans over you. His lips brush your own when he speaks, just a harsh whisper pushed out between gritted teeth. “Who’s in charge?” The cold steel of the knife slides across your jaw. “Answer me.” 

“You are,” you choke out. 

“I’m what?” His breath fans over your face, making your head spin.

“You’re in charge,” you whisper hoarsely. And then to sweeten the deal, you add. “I’m sorry, sir. I won’t do it again. I’ll be a good girl.”

Billy cocks his head to the side, and studies you for a moment. To forgive or not forgive? That is the question. You’re just on the verge of antysness, when he slowly smiles. 

“You’re lucky you’re so pretty, and I’m just as wound up as you are.” His lips move to your ear. “But forget the rules again, and I won’t be so nice.” 

All traces of patient, teasing Billy are gone when he rests between your legs again. His mouth latches onto your clit immediately, lips sucking and slurping against the sensitive bud until you’re shaking. It’s a lot, it’s too much. Too fast. Almost like he’s making up for lost time. As if there’s a lesson buried in the quick flicks of his tongue that send fire racing up your spine. 

Be careful what you wish for. 

Your breath catches in your throat, finally working its way out in a scream of unintelligible syllables. His name amongst other things. Pleas to keep going. Praises. Curses. 

“Fuck, it’s so good. Your mouth feels so good,” you whimper.

Billy pulls away for just a moment to say, “Attagirl. Tell me how much you like it when I put my mouth on you.” Then his lips are back on you, all over you, in you. The thrust of his tongue inside your cunt nearly sends you over the edge. 

You’re burning alive. Skin heated, body humming like a live wire. And Billy’s at the center of it all. The epicenter of the earthquake rumbling through you, threatening to knock you off kilter. To tear you apart and reduce you to rubble.  

You lean into the chaos. The sensation of his lips sliding over your slick pussy. The greedy smacks of his mouth, the sated moans he tucks into you. It wouldn’t take you long to come all over his face, not if he kept this up.

“Please,” you whine, legs shaking under the weight of your impending orgasm. “Can I come, please?” 

“Look who’s found some manners,” he mumbles, a teasing lilt coloring his words. “Go on, baby. Since you asked so nicely. Show me how pretty you look when you come.” He slides two fingers into your dripping cunt and slurps your clit back into his mouth. 

The curl of his fingers inside of you is the breaking point. Permission granted, you squeeze your eyes shut and give yourself over to the warmth welling up inside you. Heat bursts in your stomach, coursing through your veins. Up your spine, and out to your fingers, your toes. 

Your back arches, hips nearly lifting off of the mattress as your orgasm washes over you. Billy drops the knife and roughly grabs your waist. He holds you down, wrenching wave after wave of pleasure from your body with his fingers and tongue. Taking and taking all that he can from you until he’s satisfied and sure you’re thoroughly fucked out. 

You see stars, body twitching against the sensations that are both so good but too much. The silk ties dig into your wrists from the way you tug at them. Your clipped nails dig red crescents into your palms. Your bottom lip, bruised and ragged from your teeth, prickles with the sharp taste of blood. You must’ve finally split the skin.

You’re still shaking with the aftershocks of your blissful orgasm, when Billy finally pulls back. He sits up on his knees to take in the sight of you. His wild eyes flit over your glistening body. Dark strands of his hair stick to his forehead with sweat. His swollen lips shine with a filthy mix of his spit and your cum.  

“Th-thank you.” Your words slur, nearly running together. 

He cups your chin and swipes his thumb over your split lip. “Did so good for me, honey. ‘M proud of you.” 

A bashful smile spreads over your face. The weight of his words burrowing deep into your chest and filling you with warmth.

“Pretty girl,” he coos, hand sliding down the front of your body once more. “Color?” 

“Still green.” 

“Good. I think you’re ready to take my cock, don’t you?” 

“Yes, sir.” You nod eagerly. 

Billy shoves his boxers down his legs and grabs the fallen knife once more. You ogle him shamelessly. Eyes following the sharply carved muscles of his lower stomach, down to the light, neatly trimmed, patch of hair. Then the curve of his cock, hard and aching. Your mouth waters at the sight. 

He shifts up your body, eyes glued to your splayed form. Gently, he places the knife back on your throat, and then fists his hand around his waiting cock. Billy groans, both at the sight of you and at the slow strokes he gives himself. Not enough to make himself come, but just the right amount of pressure to hold him off so he wouldn’t explode as soon as he thrust into you. 

With Billy, it was all about control. Balance. 

You watch him, lips parted and mouth dry. Watch the precum that drips onto your stomach. Watch lightning crackle in his nearly black eyes. The deep flush that washes over his face, down his neck, his scarred chest. The slack of his jaw as he starts to lose himself. The subtle thrust of his hips into his hands. 

A private show, just for you. You take it all in. 

And then Billy’s decided he’s had enough of his hand, and only wants the real thing. He sits between your spread legs and slides a pillow under your hips. 

“Gonna fuck you now.” He whispers, carefully positioning your body the way he wants you. “And I can’t be gentle.” 

Good. You don’t want him to be. You want him hard, and fast, and rough, and just on the verge of pain. You want the bed frame to squeal, and the headboard to knock against the wall. You want bruises and bite marks that you’ll have to cover in the morning before work. You want the thrill of having to look your neighbors in the eyes, knowing they heard every single moan and scream that Billy pulled out of you. 

Most of all, you want that knife pressed against your throat, danger hanging low above your head, but just out of reach. 

Billy chuckles, reading the thoughts hidden in your needy gaze. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll give it to you.” 

He slides into you slowly, relishing the tight warmth. Twin exhales of reverence fill the room. You whine as his cock slowly fills your cunt. The stretch of your walls as he bottoms out is intoxicating. The fullness makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

He thrusts slowly, pulling all the way out before slowly filling you again. Taking his time to just feel your greedy cunt swallow him again. Edging himself and teasing you. Billy loves the hungry huff you let out each time he pulls away. Loves to hear it morph into a sated whine when he seats himself deeply inside of you again. 

But you’re impatient and tired of going slow. You want him to fuck your brains out and make you scream, and you want it now. 

“Harder,” you whine. “Faster. Please.” 

That’s what he was waiting for. 

“Love hearing you beg for what you want,” Billy mumbles. “Drives me fucking crazy.” 

He wraps one of your legs around his waist. The other finds a home on his shoulder. He bites your calf sharply as his thrusts pick up speed. The angle allows him to reach that treasured spot deep inside of you, blissfully unattainable without him. In no time, you’re babbling nonsense; your brain turned to mush by the brutal precision of Billy’s hips. 

“Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease,” you almost scream. “Keep going.”

“I know, baby,” he says, and there’s pride in his voice. “Feels good, huh? Don’t I make you feel good? Don’t I take care of you?”

“Always,” you sob. 

“Yeah. Always. I always take care of my girl.” He says through gritted teeth, and you know he must be close. He has to be after teasing you and making you come. You saw the way he nearly came all over his hand only minutes earlier. 

You want him to come. You want to watch him unravel so badly you ache with the desire. You want to be the cause of it. 

“Feel so good inside me. So fucking deep,” you whisper. “I love it when you fuck me like this. When you take me and you make me yours.” 

Billy thrusts into you sharply, his perfect rhythm shattered. “Christ,” he groans.

“‘M all yours. I love being yours.” You pair your words with a clench of your walls and Billy nearly falls forward. But the knife never slips. “Love your cock so much, I dream about it. Sometimes I think I can still feel you in me for days after.” 

His eyes hold your gaze, and you shiver at the dark intensity you find there. “You’d better stop, or this’ll be over a hell of a lot sooner.” 

“But I want your cum. Want it deep inside me. Wanna make you feel good.” 

He curses under his breath. The fingers holding your hip dig bruises into the skin. “Fuck, honey. You do make me feel good.”

“Then come inside me, please,” you beg. “I need you.”

Billy’s hand drops down to where your bodies join, and he rubs your clit in quick, merciless circles. “Not without you,” he says, though the effort to abstain looks like it hurts. 

Good. What’s pleasure without a little pain? 

“Get there, baby. I know you’re close,” Billy coaxes. “Let me see.” He spreads your legs a little wider, and spits on your clit, rubbing faster. 

The room fills with the sounds of debauchery. The slap of Billy’s hips meeting yours. The protest of the bed frame squealing beneath the weight of your bodies mixes with Billy’s rough groans. Your own stilted moans and cries bubble from your throat as every harsh thrust pushes you closer and closer to bliss.

Your legs begin to shake, toes curling. “Billy,” you cry, and he doesn’t even correct you. 

“I know, honey. I know,” he mumbles. “That’s my girl. Come for me. Wanna feel you come all over my cock. Give it to me.”  

The effect of his words is almost instantaneous. Your orgasm bursts from within you, shocking you into silence. Your jaw falls slack in a silent scream as the world dissolves around you. Billy fucks you through it. Each roll of his hips sends you deeper into your blissful spiral. 

Watching you fall apart sets Billy off. He tosses the knife away and falls forward, covering your body with his own. He pins you to the bed, elbows digging into the mattress on either side of your head. You wrap your legs around his hips, rocking up into him, aching for more friction. 

“You feel fucking amazing when you come,” he mumbles against your lips. “Sound so pretty.” He grunts, jaw clenching. “Gonna make me come. You want it?” 

“Yes, sir.” You long to run your fingers through his hair and hold him closer against you. “Fill me up. Wanna drip with it.” 

“Fuck,” Billy bites your shoulder. “Gonna give it to you. Gonna make you mine.”

He gives a few more sloppy, deep thrusts before he’s coming with a rough cry of your name. You whine, toes curling as Billy fills you with warmth. Claiming you. His hips roll languidly, pumping his cum deep inside of you. And then with one last deep thrust he collapses on top of you. 

Billy stays on top of you for a moment, catching his breath, and letting you come back down to earth. His body is hot and sweaty against yours. Billy’s hair is a mess, despite your bound hands. The strands tickle your neck and shoulders. You want to run your fingers through the dark locks, tug on them and make him groan.

When his heartbeat has settled, Billy goes to work undoing the knots holding your arms up. You wince as the blood finally begins to flow freely. Billy massages your wrists and shoulders, pressing light kisses to the shallow marks the satin has made. He continues his inspection of your body, fingertips brushing over each bruise and tender spot. Filling out the mental tally sheet for later, when he’ll kiss and rub away the soreness. 

“You did so good for me, baby,” he whispers and rolls onto his back, taking you with him. His fingers continue to rub patterns into your hips and stomach.

You sigh, and bury your face into his neck, fingers finally playing with his hair. You inhale deeply. The smell of sweat and sandalwood calms you instantly.  

“So…how was it?” Billy prods. Is that…worry you hear in his voice?  

You lift your head to meet his eyes. “I loved it.” 

“Yeah?” He lifts an eyebrow. “I wasn’t too much?” 

“No.” You shake your head. “It was perfect. You were perfect. Thank you.” 

A grin tugs at the corner of his lips. “Anything we need to change for next time?” He cups your chin, stroking your cheek with his thumb. 

“I’d like my arms free. I like touching you.” 

Billy hums and plays with a bit of your hair. “We can talk about it. Didn’t want you to accidentally hurt yourself. But you were pretty good at keeping still.” 

Satisfied you rest your head back on his chest. 

“You still owe me three, though.” Billy mumbles and squeezes your ass. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten. We’ll talk about your punishment later too.” 

You swallow thickly. You kind of were hoping he’d forgotten about that. But that’s all part of the game. You misbehave, he puts you in your place. 

That’s the enticing thrill of the danger. 

#billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #billy russo smut #billy russo #ben barnes #the punisher #rion writes

[rubyreduji]

[minors dni]

music major jihoon whose friends forced him to take the class with them but jihoon is absolute shit at art and he knows it

so the first couple weeks go awful. jihoon's hands are made to make music, not draw anatomy. he can tell the teacher hates him too because why is he so fucking awful at this

then once all of the intro stuff is done jihoon walks into class one day and sitting in the middle of the room is the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. then the professor starts the class and it slowly dawns on him what is happening and then holy shit you're naked and of course you are because its a figure drawing class so they're going to be drawing figures but still what the fuck

and the professor is going on about how everyone should be appropriate and respectful but jihoon's dick is already half hard and he can't stop staring at your perky nipples that are the prettiest color jihoon has ever seen

jihoon realizes that everyone else is getting their supplies ready and he fumbles around to do the same. in the middle of the room a cloth is laid out on a small platform and you drape yourself over it. your legs hide your core but your breasts are still on full display and jihoon thinks he's not going to have blood circulation in his brain after this

jihoon is already bad at art and now he can't even focus properly because you're all soft curves and smooth skin and holy shit you keep staring at him back and why are you doing that because its making jihoon's dick even harder now. your eyes are sultry yet soft and jihoon has to keep shifting around just so he can hide the tent in his sweats

the whole class jihoon struggles to get his drawing finished. he goes to draw a line and then he gets distracted by the swell of your breasts and the curve of your hip and he can't do it

"fifteen more minutes and then we'll see how every did, okay?" the professor calls out and jihoon panics

quickly he starts to sketch, trying his best to capture all of your beauty. when the fifteen minutes is up he wants to cry. his picture doesn't even look like a human body, let alone the godly figure you have

reluctantly jihoon turns his canvas around and he wants to hide away forever. everyone else's drawings are smooth, accurate lines that capture your nature perfectly while he has scribbles and lumps

you stand up and walk around the class to inspect the pictures yourself. you tie your robe back on but its so loose that everytime your body moves slivers of skin are revealed and your breasts are practically spilling out, your cleavage on full display

when you get to jihoon's you stare at it before cocking your head to hte side a bit. "huh. it's...unique." jihoon wants to die in a hole holy shit. "not awful, just different," you assure him but jihoon is still incredibly embarassed. enough that his dick is starting soften again even though your breasts are practically in his face

the professor tells everyone to finish up their drawings before next class and jihoon is in turmoil as he walks out of class, held hung low

"hey! excuse me!" jihoon stops when he hears a soft voice calling him. he turns to see you and he flushes. "hi! i noticed you sort of struggled in class, which is totally normal, but i was just wondering if you wanted any help? i'm an art major too so."

"i'm actually a music major"

"see even more reason to accept my help! but, only if you want!"

"no you can uh, yeah...i'd like the help"

"great are you free right now?"

and maybe it's a good thing jihoon is bad at art because now he's in your apartment getting his dick sucked by you

in your defense, you guys did start out doing art but the second you stripped of your clothes jihoon's dick decided to make an appearance again. you were trying to convince jihoon his art skills aren't that beyond hope when you noticed it and realized why jihoon was struggling so much. and so you decided to help him out in a different way

so now you're on your knees, sucking at the head of his cock

"h-holy fuck," jihoon mutters. your tongue is digging right into his slit and jihoon is losing his mind over it. his hands grip your hair in his fingers. "oh shit, shit, fuck." jihoon is cumming, painting the inside of your mouth white. you suck him dry until he finishes cumming and when you pull off jihoon slumps back in his seat

you wipe at your mouth before giving him a smile. "how was that?"

"holy shit y/n," jihoon says breathlessly

"mmm," you hum as you reach down and start to finger yourself, your fingers slip in and out of your wet pussy. jihoon stares intently at the way your folds glisten

"fuck," jihoon whispers before he's sliding onto the floor next to you. he moves your hand away from yourself so he can replace it with his own digits. you gasp when he pushes two in

"f-fuck. so thick"

jihoon's dick aches painfully. he just came but his dick is stirring around, his biological need to fuck you overpowering his refactory period

his fingers are drenched from your arousal by the time his dick starts to rise again. he removes his fingers from you and wraps his hand around his dick, using your slick as lube to get him up to full mast

"j-jihoon," you whine. quickly he positioned you two and slides into your needy pussy

"god you're so hot," jihoon mumbles. he slowly starts to move his hips and when he realizes there's not resistance, your pussy willing and ready, he quickly picks up the pace

soon you two are going at it like rabbits. jihoon pistons in and out of you at a rapid pace while you moan like a pornstar under him. he grips your thighs and pushes them up at your chest, fucking into you even harder at the new angle

it takes maybe four more thrusts max for you to cum around jihoon's dick, drenching his thighs as you squirt all over him. jihoon groans at the feeling and quickly pulls out so he can jerk himself to completion all over your stomach

you're both panting heavily as try to recover from what just happened. you're bodies are thrumming with pleasure and adrenaline and when you suggest to jihoon that you guys for round two in the shower he quickly obliges

he never does get his art project finished

#seventeen #svt #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #woozi #lee jihoon #woozi fanfic #woozi smut #woozi x reader #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #svt woozi #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #rru.fics #rru.writes #★ mdni

[theriu]

River Reads Midnight Sun

Chapter 3: Risk

In which Ed struggles with his Plot-driven feelings and Bella is almost squashed like a bug.

<-Chapter 2

(NOTE: So it occurs to me that I’ve not been clear about how hard Edward has been working to do the right thing these past couple chapters. While he has his faults, Edward and his vampire family have sworn off eating or killing humans, and he very much does NOT want to kill and eat Bella, morally speaking. He’s struggling against unusually strong vampiric urges her smell is setting off in his system, and the question of whether he should run away from his Found Family and avoid Bella for her safety, uproot his whole family from their current home if they choose to go with him, or face and overcome this trial, the face of whom the Plot has unfairly branded onto his brain. Also, Alice and Carlisle have been very supportive yet sensible, and I love them unironically.

Okay, got that off my chest! Now we can get back to mocking the teenage angst!)

So the opening scene of this chapter is genuinely nice, in my opinion. Edward and Dad Carlisle go hunting together (deer, because this family only drinks animal blood), and we get a little review of Carlisle’s concern and understanding a week ago when Ed had to leave (including how he let Ed take his car). Carlisle seems a genuinely good person (and a doctor) who fully supports Ed doing whatever is necessary to stay sane and keep from taking a life, even encouraging him to leave if that’s what it takes (despite how much they would miss him). He checks with Edward that coming back isn’t just about Ed’s pride. He’s even openly willing to go with Ed and start over somewhere else if it will spare a needless death while letting their family stay together. +100 Dad Points, Carlisle gets an award for top tier dadding.

Of course, Ed can’t quite put into words for Carlisle WHY he is now so determined to stay, other than it not being pride anymore. This is probably because it is difficult for a protagonist to describe the irresistible pull of The Plot on his affections and sensibilities. The scene changes as they go gallivanting into the woods, and Ed, now fat and unhappy on deer blood, chills by an icy river and spends more time pondering why he cares so much about this girl and why he is risking her life by staying.

I find it hilarious that HE keeps noting how his feelings make no sense. Why does he care about this girl? What about her draws him to her? Why is he unable to think about anything but her? GREAT QUESTIONS, ED! IF ONLY THE ANSWER WASN’T “YOU’RE IN A PARANORMAL ROMANCE”! The poor boy doesn't know what powers he is truly struggling against, even as he considers such self-aware drivers as his “obsessive curiosity” and “unsatisfied appetite.” However, he DOES decide he is going to follow Carlisle’s advice and leave after one more day, because he DOES want to be responsible and selfless! A fruitless determination, no doubt, but let’s give the guy some credit: That was a valiant effort to resist the unstoppable hands of plot-fate.

When he goes back to the house, he chats with Alice, who once again foresees him planning to leave. She doesn’t want him to, and NOT for romantic reasons but out of genuine sister/friend love. They have a moment of mental movie time watching her highly scattered visions about him, wherein she predicts his life is at a crossroads. He makes a joke about her sounding like a carnival fortuneteller, which is actually a good jab, well done Ed. He and Alice go get ready for school, with her still openly sad that he might leave again and making sure he knows she will miss him if he has to go. ALICE AND CARLISLE ARE REALLY NICE OKAY, HUZZAH FOR LIKEABLE CHARACTERS

Off they go to school! During which drive we learn Rosalie and Emmett are sickeningly in love, which…did NOT seem apparent in the first two chapters. Seriously, they've barely interacted onscreen so far, and Ed only mentioned that Alice and Jasper are a thing, so these two staring adoringly into each others’ eyes felt a bit outta left field. Turns out the other six vamps in this family are paired off in sweet adorable couples and Ed is the self-proclaimed grumpy old man, which amuses me greatly. Of course, Singleness Is Bad, so naturally Ed will find his soulmate, even if The Plot has to ram feelings of attraction for her down his cerebral cortex!

As the others head into school, Ed and Alice hang out by their car to watch Bella drive into the parking lot. Bella is obviously very nervous about snow-driving, which Ed realizes must mean she is Serious and Responsible. Ed finds her worry and Bambi-like clumsiness on the ice endearing, and notes when her snow tire seems to make her emotional. (???) 

Ed is working himself up to possibly go talk to her, which would be unwise and bad probably, when suddenly Alice has a VISION OF DOOM!!! In SECONDS, a van will come careening into the parking lot, and Bella will be CRUSHED LIKE A BUG!!! Woe!!! Calamity!!! Convenient!!! (Seriously, what are the odds someone would have a life-ending car accident in THIS school parking lot with ACTUAL vampire students watching, and of course the target is one vampire’s new obsession? I don’t care what the OC shows have taught us, fatal car accidents on school grounds are NOT common enough for this.)

So Ed ROCKETS into action, SWOOPING her out of the way in the nick of time! But oh no, the van is bouncing back towards them again! He’s risking exposure already, but dangit, this homicidal vehicle shall not take the girl! Edward grabs it and is slammed back, leaving a nice imprint of his shoulders on another car for his trouble. And NOW he’s stuck holding the van up because if he lets go, Bella will probably lose her legs under the tires.

Ed is so done with everything by this point, resulting in my favorite line of the book so far:

“Oh, for the love of all that was holy, would the catastrophes never end?!”

(Dangit, Ed, why can’t you always be this relatable)

Fortunately, between supermanning the van and Bella into safer positions and panicking over Bella having bonked her head on the ice, he’s able to resist his homicidal cravings, even when he tucks her neatly against him. Now he notices she is alert and seems mostly okay aside from the head bonk. To his consternation, however, she immediately asks how the heck he got over here so fast. Ed lies like a professional and badly wants to get her to Carlisle, who has ACTUAL medical experience as opposed to Ed’s “theoretical medical study” (so that answers the question of how useful Ed’s two medical degrees are). 

Despite them lying under two vehicles on ice (and Bella complaining that it’s cold when he won’t let her try and crawl out because she could have a neck injury, which YES THAT IS A REASONABLE CONCERN BELLA), Bella chooses this time to call Ed’s bluff. She is DARN CERTAIN he was OVER THERE and NOT right next to her, and Ed is NOT convincing her otherwise. He finally gets her to shush by promising to explain it later, all the while plotting to use her possible head injury to gaslight the heck out of her and everybody else into believing he was definitely standing right beside her and didn’t practically teleport.

People finally get the van away from the trapped duo, and Ed knows the registered nurse who pops up. He discloses Bella’s head injury to said nurse, and Bella acts BETRAYED, reminding Ed that she likes to suffer in silence, to which I say BELLA, POSSIBLE CONCUSSIONS ARE NOT THE KIND OF SUFFERING YOU DO IN SILENCE!!! The girl needs her head checked in MULTIPLE ways!

As Bella is humiliated over enduring standard medical care after an accident, Ed uses his foot to rearrange the reverse sculpture of his shoulders in the other car. Then Bella’s dad, the chief of police, shows up, justifiably freaked out, and Ed realizes how accurate it was when Alice said killing his only daughter would kill him. (AWW!!!) Ooo, ALSO, Ed notices Charlie Swan’s thoughts are a little hard to read! Not as much as Bella’s, but it seems this cerebral lead lining against mind radar is genetic? And here he thought Charlie was slow in the head! (Ed gets +2 points for noting that HE (Ed) was the slow one for assuming that and never noticing he actually just couldn’t hear Charlie’s thoughts clearly.)

Anyhoo, they get to the hospital, and Ed keeps a mental eye on Bella via the paramedics while he finds Carlisle. He’s ashamed he might have revealed their secret, but Carlisle is just proud of him for doing the right thing and saving the girl’s life. THEY HUG! Carlisle is the BEST, guys!!! 

After a chuckle about the irony that Ed ended up protecting the girl he was afraid he’d hurt (and Ed quietly angsting about how likely he still is to hurt her), Carlisle goes to check on Bella. Ed fidgets and watches Hospital Brainwaves TV for a while, so despite the agonizing wait, he has plenty of entertainment. Tyler, the van driver, is hurt bad and feels horrible that he almost smashed Bella, and won’t stop apologizing. To Ed’s relief, Bella is sticking to the story Edward gave about his standing right next to her, even though Tyler also didn’t see him. Ed hears Bella say his name for the first time, via Tyler’s thought-ears (???), and wishes he could hear it with his own ears! He also notices Tyler thinking about asking Bella on a date to make up for the near-death experience, and that is somehow so VERY dumb and also feels accurate to how some high school guys might think, so I can’t really argue with it. Ed, naturally, continues to struggle with the realization that his understanding of his own emotions is nowhere near as comprehensive as he’s believed for the past century.

Ed and Carlisle soon have a brief chat over Bella’s X-rays; she’s fine, although Carlisle notes how many healed fractures her skull has and jokes about how often her mom dropped her as a baby. (No, the jokes are too easy, I mustn't. He’s already claimed the best one anyway.) Ed goes on ahead to smooth things over with Bella, who is impatiently pretending to sleep in hopes Tyler will stop apologizing. She also manages to be pouty that Ed didn’t also have to endure the humiliation of a stretcher, be impatient about being asked about her head again, and deny to Carlisle that her head bump feels tender. Ed, who isn't at ALL influenced by his inexplicable sense of attraction to this girl, determines that because she doesn't like to show weakness, she is Brave. I might argue that she is showing more signs of being a self-focused pity-partyer who thinks she knows better than medical professionals and has low tolerance for petty annoyances, but who am I to disagree with the male protagonist?

Bella is released to go home with her dad, which she…doesn’t want to do? Is it going home or being with her dad that bothers her? Between being annoyed at Tyler for his understandable (if repetitive) remorse, being annoyed Edward didn’t have to be fussed over by hospital staff like she did, and apparently not wanting to hang out with her clearly concerned father, she isn’t doing the best job of earning that Selfless tag Ed gave her last chapter. She’s also highly embarrassed that, as Carlisle puts it, “most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.” Ed, on the other hand, is pleased he guessed her reaction correctly. (He’s also envious that Carlisle can touch her like a normal person and not be tempted to eat her like Ed is, but he doesn’t make it awkward. Apparently different vampires don't find the same human hyperdelicious, which is definitely a positive.)

Naturally, Bella is determined to talk about what REALLY happened before she goes home. Ed, once again gripped by the struggle of not eating her, agrees to talk it out in private. It’s time for Vampire Gaslighting! He’s determined to be mean and a jerk and make her disbelieve her own senses (despite aching for her to trust him), and then he will disappear from her life forever. It starts out pretty well, with him being cold enough that she drops her tough girl act. However, she’s still pretty dang determined and reveals just how much SUPER WEIRD STUFF she DEFINITELY NOTICED, like him leaving dents in multiple vehicles but being fine as sunshine!

Ed’s getting a bit nervous at this point and doubles down on the dismissive act, but then she startles him by saying she’s not going to tell anyone. Regaining his footing, he wants to know why it matters, then. She says she doesn't like lying, so she’d rather know the reason why she’s lying for him. I’m given brief The Princess Bride vibes as Ed essentially tells her “get used to disappointment.” 

They scowl at each other for a bit, until finally she, once again more annoyed than self-preserving, wonders why he even bothered to save her. To which he gives what he feels is his first honest reply of this conversation: "I don't know." With that, he ends the discussion by walking off dramatically, as one does.

AND SCENE!

I'd say this chapter was more interesting than the last two! Carlisle is a gem, I am ALWAYS down for a positive and supportive dad character and I will fight for this compassionate good-humored doctorpire. The exposition was SLIGHTLY less focused on Ed’s INNER TURMOIL thanks to the action scene, but don’t worry, there was still plenty of inner turmoil. Bella continues to act contrary to the definitions Ed labels her with, although I can kinda respect her refusing to be gaslighted and standing firm on what she knew she’d seen. Despite Ed’s numerous declarations that today would certainly be the last day he sees her, however, I do not hold out much hope for his success.

As we leave this chapter, here’s my recreation of the “small list” Edward is reportedly keeping of Bella’s character traits! I sure can’t wait to see what else gets added in the coming days!

Ed’s Questionable Bella Vocab List:

Advanced (See Also: Intelligent For A Human)

Selfless (See Also: Martyr)

Fascinating (See Also: Interesting, Not Like Other Humans)

Discerning (See Also: Intuitive, Perceptive)

Amusing

Serious

Responsible

Brave

Chapter 4-> (Coming Soon)

#River reads midnight sun #Midnight sun #twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #literary analysis #kinda? #more like satiric analysis? #Or satiric summary? #i do not know what to call this thing I am doing #Oh well so long as we’re all having fun thats what matters!

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump No.5

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! ! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host. 

Today I’m talking whump with the wonderful @painsandconfusion! 

So good to have you here today, @painsandconfusion! Tell us a fun fact about yourself!

I'm a lawyer but don't seem like a lawyer at all - everyon'es always confused when I say so. I'm a fan of jumping between fluffy pink dresses, standard hipster vibes, emo styles, and who knows what else. It's different every day. I just like variety!

What does whump mean to you?

Oh dear, tricky to answer...

Whump is when a character is at their highest stress point (or...at least higher than average). I suffer from severe and vivid nightmares, but I found out that when I write whump, I can process my fears and anxieties through those characters and their experiences. I can only go about two weeks without writing before the nightmares start again. It's kinda amazing to see just how effective and healthy it is for me. I live vicariously through my whumpees for a moment, and they help my brain keep its shit together. Then I get to meet all these lovely people online and it just makes my heart so happy!

Wow, that’s really great to hear! Whump can be really cathartic at times. How did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 

I think this is a standard story, but I discovered the hero x villain community first, and it wasn't /quite/ my cup of tea, but it was close. After I saw a few people reblogging things with #whump, I checked it out. 

I have a vivid memory of skipping class for the first time in my life, just sitting in my apartment, all but crying as I scrolled through everything. I was so relieved to find that I wasn't alone. I spent so much of my life hating myself and hating whumperflies and hating that I was drawn to violence and not understanding why. After I found this community I felt so much more at home. 

I made a blog and started reblogging.

Then of course, I relapsed into hating myself and deleted it.

Then I made another. Started posting gifs I made from my favorite whumpy movies.

The kink community kinda took it over - which is fine and lovely and I'm happy to share content, but....they were the only ones who saw my blog. So everything I made was taken in a way I didn't mean and I felt very isolated and unheard.

So I deleted it again.

A couple years ago, I tried again. I started just reblogging, then I impulsively added to a prompt list in one of my reblogs and people really liked it? So I made more. And more and more and more- eventually I started posting scenes, and I've been having a lovely time here ever since! 

Do you think your view on whump has changed since you joined? Are there tropes you now love/hate that you didn't at first? 

Absolutely. Like. Wow so much. I used to dislike pain a lot and only enjoy the fear leading up to it. While I still prefer the suspense, nothing really squicks me out anymore. I used to hate pet whump but now I'm a fan. 

I have started making whump art as of late, which has been a fun new adventure! I picked it up almost solely because there's so many fantastic writers in this community who deserve some good fanart. I'm having fun working through a list of my favorite creators!

Tell us about your favourite whump trope!

Dear goodness, do I love a chin tilt.

No no...hmmm.....I get to run wild with this question and there's nothing you can do to stop me! Muahhahahhaaaaaaaa~

Okay so. Picture this.

Whumpee stumbling slowly backward, breath catching in their throat and burning at their lungs. Their feet drag against the ground as they stare up at Whumper, eyes shaking and sparkling with tears that cling to their lashes, refusing to fall. Not /quite/ yet. 

Whumper strokes a knuckle down their cheek, drawing a twitch - not quite a flinch, no no, Whumpee wouldn't dare to pull away. Whumper's hand flips softly as it reaches their jaw, pressing to their throat instead.

Whumpee finally lets a sound pass their lips, a soft whimper as their back hits the wall. The momentum topples the wetness from their lashes, and Whumper's eyes roam down to follow them as they soak hot into the fabric of Whumpee's shirt. 

Whumper's hand turns up just /once/ more, curling a finger under Whumpee's chin to tip their head up, drawing hiding eyes back into place.

Then they say something whumpy, I guess - you get the picture.

LOVE that shit. 

Intimate whumpers? Slow pacing? Vivid sensation? Yes!

Absolutely loving the detail in that! It’s all about the sensations! And speaking of favourites, do you want to share a piece you've written?

Hard Question!

First one that comes to mind is The Party. It's one of my favorites because my hands were shaking so hard while writing it. It was a great way to kick off that event (@thewhumperssoiree) which I'm inadvertently yet shamelessly plugging by answering with that piece I guess! It's very very fun, I loved what that piece created. Everyone who wrote for it did such a great job! (Event is still open, I don’t know why I'm talking about it in past tense)

Do you have a standard writing style/routine or does it vary?

I absolutely change up my paragraph style depending on the intensity of the scene or the place in the scene. I'm a big fan of elaborating and writing moment to moment so the oc's sensations and emotions bleed into the reader. I don't write much on visuals at all - almost entirely on sensation, which I think works well in this medium.

When I'm writing, I kinda forget everything else exists, so I don't have food or drink or if I do, it's neglected. If anyone tries to talk to me, tough luck to them, I'm in the Write Zone and I cannot hear them!

I write solely when inspiration strikes which.......is a lot!

Is there a noticeable difference in how easily you write things? Do the words always flow or do you have to beat them out sometimes?

There's characters who don't get in my head nearly as easily, and ones that are effortless. Getting fucking Alec in my head? Impossible. He's a bitch, then does bitch things once there. Ethan? Dream. Miracle boy. So easy to write that emo little shit. For clarification, the seven chapters of Alec's series vs the thirty of Ethan's. Alec is a bitch. End of story.

But, I also do much better describing little moments rather than full scenes. I'm good at scenes, but it takes so many spoons. Hence why I have three hundred or so random drabble posts or lists, but only like fifty total from my series. It just takes more effort to have to think about plot and pacing and all that good stuff. 

Fun? Yes. 

But hard.

Is there anything you're working on at the moment? Finalising the final chapter of your series? Starting a new au? Trying a different style of writing/pov? Revisiting fanfiction? Maybe you've really gotten into poetry....

Oh dear goodness, I'm working on everything all at once and I need to stop!

I also need to roleplay less and write more for you lovelies! I’m so sorry I’m just really distractible…

Give us some writing advice. Bless us with your wisdom!

I have posts for this but:

1. Keep your descriptions to the textured senses. Less visuals, more sensation. Caretaker has brown hair? So what? Tell me about how Caretaker's hair curled at the ends, just barely tickling at the corner of their eyes until they flicked it away with a twitchy shake of the head.

2. Personify the shit out of your nouns. Whumpee bled? No. The blood soaked through Whumpee's shirt. Make it an external factor that's affecting them. Much more engaging.

3. Pacing. Whumpee got dragged into the car, then into a house and chained in the basement? That's not one scene, that's at least three. OR. It's a two sentence summary that Whumpee is musing about while already in the basement. 

4. Speaking of, don't start with the boring, just get right into the action. You can weave the 'how we got here' bits in after a few sentences, but get your reader hooked right away. Don't start with "Whumpee got out of bed, glancing at their blaring alarm". Try instead "Their hands were shaking so hard they had to try three times to dial the number, fingers as clumsy as they were that morning, trying to slap their alarm off through the fog of blissful sleep." Or just don't mention it at all! Skip to the good stuff!

Lastly, let’s hype up some of your favourite blogs! Any friends, writers or just really cool people you want to shout out?

@whumblr was like my idol before I started! It's so cool just casually knowing her now? Still not over that, to be honest.

I always tag her but @distinctlywhumpthingmpthing is so good? Seriously, you want to see some god-tier writing, go over there. (minors read tws well please, its not all for you.)

@brutal-nemesisemesis is always a delight. Castys gives me life.

And of course,  I'm gonna give a shoutout to @wormwritinging, my beloved. We met here and as much as I adore this community, they're hands down the best part of it. 

Anything you'd like to add? 

I can't think of anything but thank you for doing this. This blog is so cool!

It’s been a honor to have you here, @painsandconfusion!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

#whump community #whump interviews #lets talk whump

[dangerously-human]

Little update: I'm doing a lot better than I was at the beginning of the week (or for the last couple weeks, to be honest). Still really taking it easy, but I feel much more normal. I started my new meds last night. They scare me, because the whole function is to change the way my brain responds to reward and that feels like risky business - I know that's screwy for me but it also seems like such a core part of my personality. If I'm being honest, my fear of dimished response to a special interest was the main driver of not taking them, even though that's not really how it works - especially not at such a low dose - but some scientific models do draw a connection between RRBs and addiction behavior, however flawed, so it's hard not to have that thought, you know? I'm also petrified of mood meds in general now, because I know how bad it is when I go off of them, and I end up going off of things suddenly a lot. But, again, it's a really low dose, enough that my doctor wasn't concerned about that, and she's the easiest one for me to work with around staying on meds anyway. So I'm really, really hoping this helps. And work has gotten less stressful, not because there's less to do or the deadline moved or anything, but because I reread my manager's transition plan and decided I was actually allowed to follow the bit in there about being less productive because I'm taking on some of her work and putting smaller/less urgent projects on hold. So I am putting off things I originally intended to do this week and have therefore been able to cross lots of other things off, and concentrate more time on overseeing my teammates' work during cross-training. And I've been working really hard on better sleep choices, going to bed a little earlier and committing to waking up earlier so my mornings don't start out so miserable. I'm doing almost nothing in the evenings right now, I haven't even been writing despite all the time in the world for it, but I think that's good for me for a little while, as long as I don't let it linger until I'm no longer doing anything restorative. Rest is good, but only part of the whole picture.

#personal #research rambling

[ohisms]

↪   𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝟒 .   (  a  collection  of  sentence  starters  originating  from  s4  of  the good place .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .  )

wow .  just  ...  wow ,  it’s  perfect .

you  know ,  let’s  keep  this  moving .

reading  lights !  i  love  reading  lights .  they  are  ...  great  for  reading .

it  wasn’t  even  as  bad  as  i  thought .

who  cares  if  he  doesn’t  remember  me ?

wait ,  i  need  to  say  something .

you  NEEDED  to  say  that ?

i  believe  that  we’re  destined  to  succeed .

with  this  team ,  there’s  no  problem  we  can’t  solve .

there’s  no  problem  we  can’t  create .

i  think  you  look  great .

i  know  this  can  be  a  little  overwhelming ,  but  you’ll  get  used  to  it .

okay ,  forget  about  all  of  that  stuff .

none  of  this  is  real .

clearly  i  was  in  some  kind  of  horrible  accident .

i’m  just  gonna  wander  around  until  i  wake  up  or  die .

[ name ] ,  look  what  my  brain  did !

it’s  not  real ,  &  neither  are  you !

i  feel  like  you’re  trying  to  get  under  my  skin .

i .  will .  destroy  you .

we  can’t  wait  any  longer .

stupid  ethical ,  reasonable  argument .

are  you  still  muttering ?

the  human  mind  is  truly  incredible .

you  don’t  need  to  justify  it .  again ,  i  do  it  all  the  time .

his  eyes  were  really  mean .

i  was  scared  [ name ]  was  trying  to  slide  into  your  DM’s .

i  don’t  like  being  scared ,  it’s  scary !

where’s  your  shirt ??

when  you  get  back  here ,  you  won’t  be  anything .

you  will  do  nothing  of  the  sort ,  mon  ami .

that  wasn’t  my  fault ,  i  was  texting .

that  is  so  embarrassing  for  you .

are  you  listening  to  me ?

guys  like  this  believe  the  world  revolve  around  them .

maybe ,  as  a  bonus  . . .  he  cries  like  a  stupid  little  baby .

hey  .  ..  hey ,  can  i  ask  you  something ?

you  have  no  control  over  your  own  impulses .

give  her  some  space .

sure .  i’m  pretty  interesting .

look ,  i’ve  had  my  share  of  disappointments .

okay ,  well .  back  to  the  drawing  board .

we  need  to  bust  him  open  like  a  pinata .

it’s  our  only  move ,  &  we’re  doing  it  tomorrow .

this  chaos  is  clearly  all  about  me .

this  is  the  universe  telling  me  we  don’t  belong  here .

walk  me  through  this ,  i’m  not  sure  i  follow .

figure  it  out  -  get  back  to  me ,  okay ?

i’m  gonna  go  punch  a  wall  with  my  head .

it’s  possible  we  need  a  new  team  leader .

think  about  what  you’re  saying ,  here .

go  ahead ,  speak  your  mind .

i  didn’t  ask  for  this !

[ name ]  can  be  in  charge ,  since  she’s  so  smart .

listen ,   all  we  need  is  a  bouncy  house ,  some  ninja  stars  &  a  bunch  of  ambulances .

did  you  get  it  all  out  of  your  system ?

you  don’t  just  get  to  quit  this ,  [ name ] .

the  things  that  are  happening  here  are  above  my  paygrade .

i’m  not  meant  for  this !   i’m  not  the  freakin’  savior  of  the  universe !

everything  i  do  blows  up  in  my  face .

this  conversation  must  remain  confidential .

[ name ] ,  um .  please  just  let  me  talk .

i  asked  you  to  give  me  some  space .

being  with  you  is  fun  but  it’s  not  always  easy .

why  don’t  we  just  take  a  break ?

you  tricky  devil !  very  clever .

why  did  i  come  up  with  this  idea ?   this  is  gonna  hurt  real  bad .

everyone  has  people  that  they’re  cosmically  bound  to .

i  thought  it  was  prudent  to  let  you  know .

oh  boy !  i’m  getting  a  stomachache .

to  be  fair ,  i  only  think  that  cause  it’s  true  &  i’m  right .

if  none  of  this  is  real ,  then  it  really  shouldn’t  matter .

what ?  none  of  this  is  real .  it  doesn’t  matter .

i  mean ,  what  do  you  have  to  lose ?

it’s  arguable  that  you  made  an  even  bigger  sacrifice .

come  on ,  bud ,  i  know  you’re  down  but  you  can’t  leave  me  hanging .

must  be  nice ,  [ name ] .

i  have  a  ton  of  experience  making  ex-boyfriend’s  lives  miserable .

judge  me  if  you  want ,  i  get  results .

i  just  feel  like  i  need  this .

you’re  allowed  to  feel  a  little  angry .

we  have  a  lot  of  work  to  do .

anyone  interested  in  a  status  report ?

you’ll  have  to  trust  me ,  this  is  a  huge  step  in  the  right  direction .

it’s  been  a  tough  couple  weeks .

your  time  begins  NOW .

sorry ,  i  was  just  trying  to  figure  out  where  to  start .

let’s  clear  our  brain  ...  watch  a  movie ?

whoever  you  are ,  show  yourself .

what  do  you  want ,  creep ?

[ name ]  i  need  to  speak  with  you  alone .

sit  there  quietly  until  we  sort  all  this  out .

[ name ] ,  you  have  to  believe  me .

i’m  gonna  make  [ name ]  think  i  don’t  trust  you .

i  like  the  way  you  think ,  [ name ] .

if  you’re  a  devil ,  how  come  you’re  not  wearing  prada ?

what  are  you  gonna  use  it  for ?

if  you  ever  wanna  talk ,  just  know  i’m  here  for  you ,  girl .

i  just  feel  like  i  made  the  world  a  little  bit  worse .

starting  over  sounds  exhausting .

we  have  to  start  over .

there’s  literally  nothing  i  can  say  that  will  make  you  realize  i’m  really  me .

i  wish  i  were  saying  this  in  difference  circumstances ,  but  ...  keep  it  sleazy .

sometimes  the  only  thing  a  bully  understands  is  a  punch  in  the  mouth .

sorry ,  i  should’ve  told  you  -  i  just  decided  to  stay  home .

so ,  what’s  my  first  clue ?

oh  no  ...  oh ,  that’s  not  good .

this  part  of  your  plan  seems  risky .

this  wasn’t  part  of  the  plan .

you  made  things  difficult  in  a  new  way ,  but  i  can  make  it  work .

i’m  just  not  a  new - experience  kind  of  guy .

my  comfort  zone  is  the  size  of  ...  that  chair .

do  you  trust  me ,  [ name ] ?

you  had  this  the  whole  time ?

you  told  me  i  should  wait ,  so  i  did .

i’m  not  scared  of  you .  because  i’ve  gone  there ,  [ name ] .

i  can’t  believe  i  almost  missed  all  this .

hey ,  you decided  to  come  after  all !

you  got  through  it .  i  almost  ruined  it  a  hundred  times .

when  i  said  ‘ throw  a  party ’  i  didn’t  mean  a  pity  party !

i’ve  had  to  scrape  &  claw  my  way  through  life .

you  never  learned  to  think  on  your  feet !

i  want  to  learn  how  to  do  something  meaningful .

that  must’ve  been  hard  for  you  ...  to  go  back  there .

i  don���t  like  to  think  about  who  i  used  to  be .

almost  everything  i  do  i  do  without  thinking  or  worrying  what  will  happen .

let’s  dance ,  baby .

ugh !  can  you  just  skip  to  the  end ?

just  tell  me  how  they  screwed  up ,  &  put  me  out  of  my  misery .

this  feels  like  some  sort  of  goodbye .

how  was  that ?  did  i  cheer  everyone  up ?

face it ,  [ name ] ,  you  lost .

people  improve  when  they  get  external  love  &  support .

you’ve  already  given  me  so  much .

earth  is  cancelled .

it’s  not  two  of  us ,  it’s  all  of  us .

step  one ,  get  a  plan  ...  step  two ,  do  the  plan .

if  we’re  gonna  pull  this  off ,  we  need  [ name ]  back .

you  think  that’ll  go  well ?

everything  always  has  to  be  your  way !

how  dare  you  bring  that  up  again ?

every  problem  has  an  answer .

not  that  old  story ,  it’s  so  embarrassing -

we  have  to  break  up .

why  are  we  together ?

where  i’m  from ,  most  things  blow  up  eventually .

by  the  way ,  i  wasn’t  cheating  before  ...  or  eavesdropping  just  now .

this  has  been  fun ,  as  always .

there’s  a  real  possibility  that  i’m  in  love  with  you .

if  soulmates  do  exist ,  they’re  found .  not  made .

turns  out  life  isn’t  a  puzzle  that  can  just  be  solved  one  time  &  it’s  done .

can  you  give  me  a  second ?

i  don’t  know  if  i’ll  see  you  again ,  or  ...  what  i’ll  remember  if  i  do .

the  words  are  nice ,  but  the  tone  is  scary ?

i  know  you .  &  i  love  you .

eventually  we’re  gonna  be  together  forever .

it’s  better  we  just  rip  the  band-aid  off .

forgive  me  if  i’m  a  little  skeptical .

i  had  a  lot  of  time  to  think .

if  things  are  going  to  change ,  i  have  to  change  along  with  them .

i’m  an  artist ,  which  means  ...  it’s  my  job  to  be  scared .

oh  no ,  i  knew  it .  you  hate  me  now .

you  essentially  had  to  raise  yourself .

okay ,  so  ...  you  still  love  me ?

yeah ,  we’re  very  different ,  but  we  already  knew  that !

there’s  no  one  else  i  wanna  be  with .

what  do  you  want  from  me ?!

i  know  you’re  upset ,  you  have  a  tell .

i  don’t  see  any  version  of  eternity  where  you  don’t  get  bored  of  me .

this  is  not  working ,  you’re  bad  at  this .

wow ,  same  old  [ name ] .

first  of  all ,  you  know  what  ...  uh ,  shut  up !

honestly ,  [ name ] ,  i  don’t  know  what’s  to  become  of  you .

i’m  sorry  i  said  that ,  before .

she  knows  you  &  loves  you ,  &  that’s  all  that  matters .

against  all  odds ,  i  know  what  you  mean .

i’m  sorry  that  i  kicked  you  out .

it  wasn’t  about  you .

i’m  not  gonna  let  myself  be  degraded  by  you  again .

i  took  you  for  granted ,  &  that  was  wrong .

i  can’t  have  any  of  your  dingleberry  stink  on  me .

so ,  uh .  i  was  being  stupid .

i  thought  i  got  rid  of  you .

my ,  my ,  my  ...  we’ve  got  some  history ,  don’t  we ?

it’s  real  this  time ,  i  promise .

might  as  well  do  some  traveling .

[ name ] ,  i  have  been  training  for  this  day  my  entire  life .

what  time  is  it ?

i  made  dinner !

real  talk ,  it  didn’t  go  great .

i  could  never  forget  you .

remembering  moments  with  you  is  the  same  as  living  with  them .

can  you  just  remember  the  happy  times  &  forget  the  bad  stuff ?

you  are  my  role  model .

you  have  a  rockin’  bod .

don’t  sell  yourself  short ,  [ name ] .

[ name ] ,  i’m  gonna  miss  you .

i  don’t  want  to  leave  you ,  but  i’m  ...  ready  to  leave .

i  was  alone  my  whole  life .  i  told  myself  i  liked  it  that  way ,  but  i  don’t .

i  like  being  with  you .

meet  you  at  the  restaurant ?

i  owe  it  to  you  to  let  you  go .

i  was  never  good  at   being  sad .

none  of  this  is  bad .

i  need  you  to  do  me  one  last  favor .

say  goodbye  to  me  now ,  &  leave  before  i  wake  up .

your  system’s  working  perfectly .

thank  you  so  much ,  [ name ] .

care  to  join  me  for  a  bit ?

the  true  joy  is  in  the  mystery .

do  you  mind  if  i  stay  here  until  you’re  gone ?

#yes i am posting this through tears #rp meme #starter meme #◜𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 › memes !

[chikuto]

Hello I saw your post about your breakthrough with ADHD and art and!!! Yeah!!! Similar hat!!!

Something I think that goes into it as well is the idea that ADHD people are undisciplined, like 'oh they're so smart in class but just don't apply themselves' but it's because (at least in my experience) our 'applying ourselves' looks different than what the typical (capitalist) school system demands! I work in short bursts of like 10-30 minutes and break doing nothing and do this for Hours, and this extends to working on a project for days and then not doing anything for weeks before picking it up again. The rhythm is chaos and there is no predicting it but to me it's important not to force myself into doing something I don't want to because it literally will not work and will ONLY make me miserable!!

I tried to be a semi-freelance artist in my gap year and early uni years, and had schedules for myself for how much to draw and practice and especially post down to the week and guess what happened? Literally nothing, I didn't follow that schedule at all, I procrastinated and didn't do much and felt incredibly guilty for not being productive or a proper artist, and ended up burning out within a couple years and did basically no art last year, I've only got back into it this year because I've let myself do it because I Want to and not force myself to, it's no longer a Priority task in the sense of 'this has to be done' and now more a priority in the sense of 'i do this because it makes me happy'.

It was interesting reading your post because yes! I resonate! And feel like I've been in that position and have now come to find ways that I can still draw that work for me and mean I enjoy it and don't fight my brain because doing that for my entire childhood (when you're told you're inherently just lazy and need to work harder than oh boy do you run yourself into the ground) made me absolutely miserable and unable to do anything. Part of my getting back into art was accepting the chaotic and strange way I worked and just letting that flow and not fighting it, as Frustrating as it could get sometimes and as unhelpful it was to a 'traditional' model of work that industry demands.

Idk if this is helpful but you mentioned being unsure how to go from where you are after this revelation and I guess all i want to say is: figure out your workflow and Do Not Fight It. ADHD brain is distracting, yes, but it is also the most stubborn bitch ever and fighting it will just make you unhappy and tired. Figure out how you work best in a way that keeps you content and happy and work with it.

Of course there can be discipline aspects there too; I do find pushing myself to get up and pick up the sketchbook when I am feeling lazy is good, there's definitely elements where you can push yourself just to do a little bit more or work a little bit harder - but only to the point it still works for you. Once it gets hard, stop fighting and let yourself flow naturally.

Ajdhjsja idk if this makes sense I've just done a lot of thinking about this over the years and hoped it might be a bit helpful

I feel you man. Schedules are foreign things to me, and trying to make one for myself is both physically and mentally painful. When I was doing my webcomic, holding myself accountable day in and day out to pump out page after page after page made me so ill. Even when I tried to take it slower and make it easy on myself, I would just get laden with guilt. I had to put it down for my own health and figure out what was wrong with me.

I have received the "Don't Fight It" advice from other ADHD friends before, and i'm STILL FIGURING OUT HOW TO APPLY IT TO MYSELF ... like i said, there are always gonna be external factors that impede your ability to do what you love, even without ADHD (living situation, general mental/physical health, etc).

I definitely wanted to post this ask though, because I hope other people can also benefit from this advice. It's definitely helpful, and after reading everyone's responses to that post, I think it's something I should start being more mindful of too. Thank you for sharing your experience!

#long post

[pxrxcxa]

Opposite Ends

Chapter Two - Newest Members of Hellfire Club

C1 | C3 | C4 | C5 | C6 | C7 | C8 | C9 | C10 | C11 | C12 | C13 pt1 | C13 pt 2 |

Chapter Three is out now, enjoy Sunflowers x 🌻

Pairing | Eddie x Female reader 18+. Steve x Robin x Female reader platonic friendship

Series summary | Dustins older sister got brought into the group during the events of Starcourt mall, 3 months on she's in her senior year and the kids are starting high school. After everything that went down she feels that she has to keep them safe at all costs, that includes keeping them way from the charismatic 'freak' Eddie Munson that runs a club based on their favourite game. They've both hated each other since freshman year -with good reason-, but when keeping distance between the kids and Eddie means putting herself in the firing line, boundaries get blurred, intentions get lost & the heart speaks louder than the brain.

The story is told from both Y/N & Eddies point of view.

What to expect | Slow burn enemies to lovers, Angst - with a happy ending, fluff & smut (in the later chapters). 18+ to read this story.

Series Warnings | Mentions of abuse, drug use, 18+ smut content

Chapter word count | 3k word count

Chapter warnings | Mention of exposure & Drug use

Any & All comments/reblogs are most appreciated - Love, P. x 🌿

Authors Note | I stayed up to 4am writing this even though I have work in the morning - I just had so many ideas for this story I had to write them before I forgot, I'm just so excited to continue this. - Anyways, if you read the entire chapter than thank you for reading & I hope you enjoyed it 🌻 P. x

Eddie | October 1985

'Well, her funeral' I smirked to myself as she cut me off. Y/N had come to class late, rushing to her seat and slamming her books down, not even noticing me seated next to her, eagerly awaiting her arrival. Calculus was single handley the only reason I was in my third senior year, well it was the easiest class to fail on purpose at least, its only redeeming quality was the fifty minuets of uninterrupted time I had y/n all to myself. Fifty minuets of eliciting delicious sounds from her downturned mouth due to my presence. She ignored me for the most part, like my existence could have meant less than nothing to y/n, but her facade wasn't as convincing as she thought it was. Often, I would hear her frustrated sighs at my incorrect answers to Mr Mundy's questions or when I would fiddle with my hands as I struggled to keep focused. I liked to draw as many of those sighs from her lips as I could, with trial and error I discovered what would earn me either a quiet groan or a deep scowl.

She hated me as much as I despised her.

And I loved every second of it, taunting her helped pass the time while I suffered through the most humdrum subject to torture every high school student ever. 

It wasn’t y/n I hated specifically, just the stereotype she embodied to a perfect ‘T’. Perfect Grades. Perfect Family. Perfect friends. Perfect college. Perfect - boring white picket fence at the end of the cul de sac -life planned out for her. Just another sheep’s brain falling to the pressure to conform. The only interesting thing about her that didn’t make me internally cringe, was that she had apparently picked up smoking in the past couple of weeks. It was probably the most exciting rebellious act she could come up with, the quickest way to give her straighty one eighty parents early on sought heart attacks. Which is probably exactly why she went straight to the supplier and not the dealer, knowing the absolute shit I would have given her over her new found habit. 

She could have been my arch nemesis, but I was still a gentleman at heart and was not about to let her embarrass herself. Well, that was until she snapped at me. I turned my face into my hand to stifle a laugh as she twisted away from me, watching Mr Mundy make his way over as the idiots behind me cat called y/n. 

“What’s all this then?!” The teacher brandished his hands in the air in an attempt to regain control over the room, annoyance clouding his face. A face that turned beet red as he stood next to y/n desk. “Miss Henderson” He exclaimed, she gasped and stood ram rod straight, letting her skirt flutter down her thighs to cover her formerly exposed ass. In her hurry to get to her seat, her skirt had become caught in the metal bar that stretched across the backs of our chairs. We were in the third row, so she had only flashed her ass in – what I had to admit were pretty sexy, not what you’d expect from perfect little miss y/n – black lacy panties, to a couple of jocks on the basketball team. Although with their loud mouths, the entire school would know by lunch. With a few embellishments added to the story, I was sure. 

She seemed to be thinking the same thing as she shot me a betrayed look, almost like it was my fault. As her big rounds eyes filled with accusations met mine, I knew nothing but indifference was reflected there. It was hard to tell whose face had turned a deeper shade of crimson, y/n or Mr Mundy’s, the teacher was certainly more mortified. Y/n had nothing to worry about, she had a great ass, it would only make her more desired by majority of the guys in school, even Mr Mundy seemed to be hiding a hard on as he half ran to hide behind his desk. Great, all she needed was an ego boost to that already enormous head of hers. 

“Right, quieten down!” Mundy barked, writing some foreign equation on the black board, the screeching of the chalk competing against the hushed whispers that broke across the classroom. I peaked at y/n from the corner of my eyes, seeing that the colour still hadn’t drained from her face as she stared forward, rigid in her seat. She stayed like that for the rest of the lesson, but as soon as the bell rang signalling the end of class, she peeled herself from her desk and fled the classroom, I could feel the fury radiating off of her. With movements ten times slower than hers, I slid from my seat, silently laughing to myself as I imagined her face when she finds out she could no longer avoid me and go straight to Reefer Rick for the good stuff. He wasn’t getting out of jail anytime soon and if y/n wanted to keep up the act of good girl turned bad, she’d have to come to me sooner or later. I grinned like a manic at the idea of more time carved out of my day purely for taunting y/n. 

“No absolutely not.” I grunted, not bothering to look up from the panic-stoking magazine article claiming Dungeons & Dragons has been tied to “violent behaviour”, “satanic worship”, “and even murder.”, to consider whatever freshman Gareth had imposed on me during lunch, I toyed with my food as he continued to beg. Even over the constant tinkle of excited chatter that filled the small cafeteria, I could practically hear the two smaller bodies buzzing with anticipation, practically levitating on the balls of their feet. 

“Awh c’mon Eddie, we all leave this year. And you even said it yourself, Hellfire is your legacy and you’ll be dammed if it disappears with you when you graduate.” Damn, I thought. He had me there. 

“If you graduate.” Jeff muttered under his breath. I pegged whatever piece of food I was holding at him, he leant back the fragile cafeteria chair on two legs as he brushed crumbs off his front.

“‘86 is my year, I told you that.” I snapped.

“Didn’t you say that last year?” He questioned, smiling slightly to take the sting out of the insult. 

“And the year before that?” Gareth chimed in; my eyes flittered between them both. 

“Yeah, yeah and I was full of shit.” I shovelled a fist full of food into my mouth. “Who the hell is this?” I questioned, partially to get the attention of my possibility of failing, gesturing to the short curly haired kid with a goofy smile and familiar eyes, he was wearing a Weird Al t-shirt, which I thought was brave, and his tall, freckled friend hovering at the edge of the table. 

“Mike Wheeler.” I snapped my head up to soak in his features, yeah there was definitely a hint of Nancy in his bone structure. I didn’t mind the older Wheeler; she’d tutored me in a few classes to help me pass. And after she’d dumped Steve Harrington, sending him toppling from his pedal stool at the top of the school hierarchy to date another social outcast – Jonathon Byers - like myself, I'd decided she was alright. But Hellfire was in the middle of a campaign, I was about to point that out and question if the newbies were level one dwarfs or even had a clue what DnD was, when Gareth spoke again. 

“And this is-“ He began but the shorter freshman beat him to it. 

“I’m Dustin Henderson” He exclaimed proudly, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Like Y/N Henderson?” I questioned loudly as my eyebrows shot up into my bangs. 

“Yeah, that’s my sister-“ He responded excitedly, before dropping into a murmur as he took in my expression. 

“Speak of the devil-“ Jeff mumbled. 

“And the devil shall appear” Gareth finished. 

I followed their eyeline, meeting the same pair of eyes from earlier in the school day, only pure unyielding rage filled their depths this time. 

Alarmed chatter broke out between the current member of the hellfire club. 

“Shut up.” I screeched, wielding my arms. My eyes never left y/n as she stormed over to our table, the crowds in the cafeteria parted for her like fish in the ocean did whenever a shark was nearby. An excited smile fixed itself on my face as my mind ticked over rapidly. I stood swiftly, sending lunch trays flying across the table. 

“Jesus Christ” Little Henderson puffed. I pinned a hand behind my back and leant forward in a little bow, sweeping my free hand across the empty space in front of me in a grandiose gesture. 

“Y/N Henderson.” I beamed as she reached our corner of the dining hall, steam practically blowing out of her ears.   

Y/N | October 1985

I followed the familiar path to our usual table as the hallway gave way to the - slightly not big enough to house the entire school – cafeteria, balancing both mine and my lunch buddy’s tray in my hands. My classmates spilled out around me, exclaiming as they reunited with friends they had only been with a few hours earlier. I rolled my eyes and tried to tune into Robins fast paced chatter – “"Fast Times at Ridgemont High", paused at exactly "53 minutes and 5 seconds. Steve says that means she likes boobies! Boobies!" She whispered-shouted, a pang of guilt stabbed through me, Robin had come out to me a few weeks earlier, after incessantly badgering her about her seemingly relationship with Steve, she had told me the truth about her. She had assured me a hundred times that if she didn’t feel comfortable or trust me, she never would have told me. But I still couldn’t help but feel that I had forced her hand. I smiled at her as her curly haired bob shook as she animatedly repeated her conversation with Steve from last night’s shift at Hawkins local Family Video. Hard to believe that a year ago I would have avoided eye contact with someone like Robin, lest someone see me conversing with a band geek, and now she was one of my favourite people in the world. 

We tittered on the edge of the cafeteria, looking for Max as she continued. “And like sometimes I get these vibes from her during practise, like she looks at me for just a second too long but maybe because there’s something on my face or I look stupid while I’m playing or I’m reading into things too much – look there’s Max.” She tugged on my arm, but I didn’t budge. While looking through the throng of teenage bodies, looking for a whisp of Max’s tell-tale red hair I had set my eyes on something that rooted me to the spot, frozen with cold anger. Only for a second though, before my brain caught up with my what my body had decided, shoving our lunch trays into Robin’s arms as my legs carried with me with long purposeful strides across the dining hall towards my younger brother, enthralled in conversation with Edward Munson. For a second the wild thought of Eddie telling them what happened in calculus earlier, crossed my mind. No, Eddie and I didn’t like each other but I had never actually done anything that bad to him to warrant such behaviour. Surely, he had enough decency to keep those plump lips of his shut. 

I hadn’t warned Dustin away because Eddie played DnD, it wasn’t because people called him a freak or the fact that he wore that title like a proud medal on his chest, never missing an opportunity to live up to it. It was because I was sure he was well aware of the habit I had recently picked up, and even though he had never let on that he knew or questioned if I really hated him that much to have gone to the much scarier Reefer Rick instead of the pariah high school kid. I did not trust him to not let something slip to Dustin, accident or not, he would definitely let my brother in on the know somehow, just to cause shit for me. I would also never live down the 'hypocritical' title if Dustin found out and thought I judged Eddie for participating in the exact same activities I did.

Robin pulled at my sleeve “Y/n, y/n, what are you doing?” she questioned loudly as she struggled to keep up with me. People turned to shout at me as I shoved through the crowd, their angry expressions quickly fading to one of minding their own business, backing off as they took in my appearance, which no doubt was murderous. Robin slowed as she honed in on what I was heading to. 

“Oh” She trailed off. 

“Y/N Henderson.” For a crazy moment I thought Eddie prepared himself to embrace me, but he just bowed low in front of me, in a very Eddie like fashion. I ignored him completely, spinning to face Dustin. 

“What the hell did I tell you.” I spat. 

“Hey, Hey, Hey.” Eddie grinned, rushing to the rescue, he slid in between me and the table, resting back on the ancient surface. He had his hands up in a non-threatening way like he was dealing with a dangerous animal, hell with our history, that’s probably exactly what he thought of me. He leaned further back on the table, smiling cockily and I stood back automatically, his position exposed himself to me in a way that made me extremely aware of the contours of his body. “That’s the newest members of Hellfire you’re abusing there Miss y/n” He cocked his head to the side, a movement I would have missed if I hadn’t of been watching him. His eyes appraised me, waiting for my comeback. Well, I wasn’t one to disappoint. 

“And that’s my underage brother you’re corrupting Munson,” ‘Newest members of hellfire’ I repeated with a slow shake of my head. “Like hell they are.” I turned back to Dustin. 

“You are not joining them.” I half growled. 

“I’m in high school now y/n, I can do what I want.” He puffed out his chest, backpack sitting nerdly high on his shoulders, my demeanour softened at his innocence. I was subconsciously aware of Max cautiously elbowing her way to stand at my side, her eyes silently questioning the exchange between me and my brother. Robin tottered on her feet, anxiously chewing her nails as her eyes bounced back and forth between me and Eddie. The latter clasped his hands together eagerly.

“Perfect, your first meeting will be tonight, at seven!” His words were for Dustin, but his eyes were on me, daring me to disagree. 

“And how exactly do you plan on getting there kids?” I asked mockingly, both Mike and Dustin’s faces fell at the use of that word, since they had both grown taller than me apparently I wasn’t allowed to use it anymore. 

“You’ll drive us.” Dustin assumed, looking at me with pleading eyes. 

“Like fu-“ 

“I can pick you up, my van is big enough for you both, I’ll just call corners cause there is no seatbelts in the back.” His seated group at the table sniggered. I spun back to Eddie, giving him my full attention now, it seemed to be what he wanted. He raised an eyebrow suggestively, waiting for me to accept my fate. 

“You. Are. Not. Driving. Them.” I spat out each word slowly with venom, so even someone as obviously reckless as Eddie could understand. He smiled slowly, waiting for me to accept defeat. 

“So…?” He drawled, but I whirled away before my violent thoughts turned into violent actions. 

“So we’ll see you at seven.” I heard Dustin gleefully say through a toothy grin. Max and Robin, who had stayed quiet through the whole exchange, watching with bated breath, followed hot on my heels as I tried to escape the suffocating presence that was Eddie himself. I should have known it wasn’t going to be that easy. I wasn’t watching him, but I had sat through too many of his random outbursts over the past four years, to easily picture how he looked now as I heard him mount the table. 

“Oh y/n” He cooed, loud enough to catch the attention of surrounding tables, their occupants chatter died down to watch the mockery. I turned to face him, knowing exactly where to meet his eyes, my back ramrod straight as a prickly heat grew from my stomach. A cheeky smirk played on his lips as his took in the sight of me, apparently deciding something. Resolve hardened in his eyes and he stepped across the table, moving closer so he could lower his voice. “Rick is currently…. Indisposed. Come and see me sometime” 

With a quick smile his hands shot up to form devil horns at his temples, his tongue flicking in my direction as a husky sound grew in his chest. A sweet smile – such a different contrast to the display of rudeness earlier – slowly spread across his face as his hands dropped to his sides.  

Robin gasped at my side and Max turned to look at me uncertainly. Suddenly the baggie that was sitting, crushed underneath heavy books, at the bottom of my school bags front pocket, only containing less than a gram at this point, felt like it was glowing red and blistering hot, with a sign screaming empty.

My thoughts clouded. Son of a bit-. 

Chapter Three

I hope you enjoy the second chapter! If you would like to be added to my Eddie tag list, let me know! :) Enjoy Sunflowers - P. x

Copyright © 2022 by P.McCann

All rights reserved.

#eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson headcanon #eddie stranger things #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie fanfic #opposite ends #eddie smut #eddie fluff #eddie x reader smut #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie x you

[biscuityskies]

Today, I looked through my food collection on TikTok for dinner ideas and I came across a video from late March of 2020 of a guy in a pretty typical at-home kitchen, and I had to stop and smile because March of 2020 was when I started getting into food TikTok because that was the only thing keeping me sane. I would wake up, pull my computer into my lap, do my classes, and go to sleep, leaving my bed only to use the restroom and maybe to eat.

(This will be a titch long so I’m putting in a break)

March of 2020, my uni was about to put on a play that I had a significant role in, and it was the first time I had felt good about a role. I certainly felt more suited to the wild, chaotic tendencies of Caliban than I did the motherly instincts of Golde or the Fairy Godmother. It was also the first time we were ever going to actually enhance one of my features, rather than hide me away behind a large, snug dress that served only to suffocate me and make it night on impossible to sing; needless to say, I was beyond excited.

Fast forward two weeks. I was back in my childhood bedroom, my brain as cluttered as the floor, my thoughts as loud as the fan on my computer. We were still running weekly rehearsals for a play that I think we all knew we would never put on, but we were holding on so tightly to this dream. Yet, week to week, none of us improved. I don’t think we actually spent time with the script outside of those rehearsals, where we were supposed to be off book but it’s ever so easy to cheat when you’re on a computer.

I scrolled endlessly through TikTok. I ended up on anime TikTok, hairstyling TikTok, and chemistry TikTok, just to name a few, all while mountains of homework grew and I became more and more apathetic towards pretty much everything.

But the reigning champion was food TikTok. Because some of these were people like me - young adults who had gone back to their parents’ homes, too young to be able to do it on their own but too old not to understand what was going on. And still they created, they did what they loved. They had ingredients in their kitchen, and they made something out of it. That truly felt to me like making the most of a less than ideal situation, and I felt as though I could learn something from it. This honestly played a not insignificant role in pulling me through the summer and into the beginning of the next semester.

I just stumbled across this same video in anno domini 2024, March, almost four years to the date after it was created. He ends his videos with the phrase “this cooking shit is easy,” which I found that I had adopted into my vernacular (case in point: I said it literally just last week) and can now place a source - from four years ago, when I binged all of his videos in a desperate bid to feel something.

Out of curiosity, I clicked on his profile. He has an apartment with a skyline view, in a city that I can only imagine. And the both of us have come so far in four years, letting go of the things to which we could not feasibly hold while stepping into new experiences and new situations.

What, you may be thinking, is the meaning of all this? Was there a point? In short, not particularly. There are a couple of different conclusions to draw here: first, superficially, it could reasonably be concluded that social media is not the great evil that republicans and democrats alike seem to think it is; second, it is my belief that it’s possible to watch yourself grow without actually seeing yourself grow - in much the same way that you can’t see the forest for the trees; finally, how will you know if you never try?

#dani ramblings #long post #did this even make sense. #idk I’m four days into an unmedicatable migraine #how real can I be before I’m simply putting my entire heart on main

[squishmallow36]

hii . might be a strange question but can u explain the appeal of detz to me. like, i have a req i may or may not do but i just. dont really get it? and i dont want to just draw ship art with no flavor. and ur also the fedex guy i think. thank you :)

Wait /I'm/ the fedex guy? I mean to me @/kamikothe1and0nly is the fedex guy but sure. Why not? I definitely have a lot of thoughts about them (my one single brain cell is almost constantly microwaving them), I just sometimes forget that people are aware that I exist. I apologize in advance if this gets long.

You might want to scroll through @/askdetz as well, although there's a story on there that's been going on since I want to say March? so reverse chronological might not be your friend but yeah. Good source right there. @/kale-of-the-forbidden-cities also has a fedex mermaid au so that might be another source if this post is insufficient.

For me, I think the reason I first got into it was because I liked the name. Ship it like fedex is just absolutely iconic. And also I project onto Dex. A lot. I used to have an obsession with finding 7-up trucks when I was younger so I think it was meant to be but that's up for debate.

Canonically, we see Dex and Fitz going from--I don't like to call them enemies because it was certainly one-sided on Dex's side. He was sooo mad. For reasons. Probably gay ones but he isn't aware of that. but sort of enemies--to friends. These scenes are just about the only things in the books I remember some days and we don't even get to see the one in neverseen where they agree to be friends. Nevertheless, a "enemies" to friends to lovers arc definitely is something that Is fun to play with in fics. Also this might be the aromanticism talking, but that kind of arc does require a certain amount of slowburn and I need that to believe anything.

Dex and Fitz are also foils of each other, especially in the first few books. While Fitz is perfect, Dex is the imperfect son of a bad match, and that contrast is just so, so fun.

But it's not just a case of opposites attract. Just like how kam works, they've got a whole bunch in common. We know that Fitz is the top of his class, so he is more than likely a giant nerd. We also know that Dex is a technopath (and I project onto him) so he's also more than likely a giant nerd. While they have different skill sets--I assign Dex all the stem stuff and Fitz the history and english stuff--they're absolutely going to be listening to each other infodumping about the new thing they learned this week and the listening one doesn't understand any of it. Adore that for them.

They're also angry little assholes in canon despite what fanon wants to do to Dex. Anger (especially at society) is a trait that I enjoy in my blorbos.

It's also very easy to write them to be extraordinarily oblivious to everything. And that's always fun. Fitz is going to be oblivious (even to his own feelings) as a requirement to participate in society and Dex isn't going to believe that Fitzroy Vacker knows that he exists.

And then as the brant guy I'm sure you understand how society making a relationship difficult is a fun concept and Fedex has that too. Them dating would be an automatic bad match and the fact that Fitz has to carry around his family's legacy is something I think about. A lot. Probably too much.

If you have any more specific questions just let me know. I may be forced to paint today so it might be a couple of hours before I see anything but I will answer any questions. Eventually.

Tldr: they're my idiots, your honor :)

#kotlc #kotlc fedex #fedex #detz #kotlc detz

[memestockpile]

alice doesn’t live here anymore (1974) feel free to change as needed.

you get in this house before i beat the living daylights out of you.

if anybody doesn’t like it, they can blow it out their ass.

turn that damn thing down! you’re going to drive us deaf. 

i’m an okay sort of person.

how did i get such a smart-ass kid?

honey, dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes. 

help me clear up the table.

what are you doing on the floor, kid?

you’re just in time for some peach shortcake.

what the hell have you done to the coffee?

don’t lie to me.

what are you watching?

you make me laugh.

don’t make it too tight. i got to be able to sit. 

shut up, you nut. 

how much money is there left?

we’re in this together, you know. 

you’ll love it there. i can’t wait til you see it. 

sorry if i was rude before. i’ve been kind of nervous lately. 

there’s room in the car. want to come with us?

be a good boy, now. 

don’t cry. that’ll make me cry. 

the whole state is shit.

don’t talk dirty, [name]. how many times do i have to tell you?

i feel sick. like i might throw up. 

just sit back there, relax, and enjoy life.

what do you want from me, card tricks?

we’ll get gussied up and go to a swanky place to eat. 

you’re annoying me.

get a job, dummy. 

don’t be rude to me. i just bought you a cheeseburger. 

will you get your little butt in bed?

ask me again in a couple of years, i’ll let you know. 

are you ready to see a great beauty?

what’s your problem, kid?

shall i open a vein and sign it in blood?

hey, kid, give me a break.

act like you got good sense. 

i heard what you said, i just didn’t believe it. 

excuse me, could you spare a glass of water?

come on in the back, i’ll introduce you to the boss. 

c’mon, now. what’s the matter?

here, swig on this and troubles will vanish. 

you came towards me with a question mark on your face.

there’s a piano bar down the street. 

auditions are hard. 

you’re a very weird kid. 

you always look like such an angel when you’re sleeping. 

i like your singing. 

nobody likes to sit alone. 

why are you in a bad mood? 

i cut my little finger on a tin can this morning. 

if one more guy makes a pass at me, i’m going to sock him in the face. 

just wondering when you’ll introduce me to that guy you’ve been running around with. 

don’t be so sure you know what you’re talking about all the time.

you should see the bags under your eyes. 

you’ve been coming home late for almost a week now. 

no lip. just go in the other room. 

open the goddamn door!

don’t tell me what to do.

i’m not gonna discuss my sex life with you.

you drive a hard bargain. 

i wish we could find a cheap motel. 

you can relax, kid. 

we’ll always have food to eat. 

i swear that man moves like dead lice were falling off him.

grandma was slow, but she was old. 

i heard the only way you can get it up is to slam it in a door. 

do you want eggs?

i can tell that you’re new to this kind of work, but you catch on real quick. most of them are out that door by 10:30 in the morning, crying. 

thanks a lot. i might blow my brains out.

you don’t like me very much, do you?

i sure would hate to have breakfast with you every morning of my life. 

how long do you think we’ll have to stay in this hellhole?

honey, i was only kidding. 

weird. very weird. 

sit down, shut up, and don’t move. don’t even twitch.

i’m bored. b-o-r-e-d. bored!

we’re going to have to stop meeting like this. 

you can kiss me where the sun don’t shine. 

why don’t you give yourself a jack job in a paper sack and get off my back?

i’ll get the hash browns and the coffee on.

come outside. i got something to show you. 

i got no shame. 

that’s wonderful, darling.

how would you like the holy hell kicked out of you?

christ, she’s got tits the size of cucumbers. 

i hardly recognize him with his mouth closed. 

you better watch it. you’re going to draw back a bloody stub. 

it’s an accident. it happens. 

alright, honey. i’m sorry, really. 

you know, you have a worse mouth than my kid. 

i heard it all my life. i heard it first from my dad. 

you’re so funny.

i bet you sure get lonesome.

you want me to fix you up with somebody?

isn’t the sun wonderful?

you want to steal something?

i’d rather take a whipping than mend fences.

the only thing dumber than a cow is a chicken.

the most important thing to remember before you kiss is to wipe your mouth real good.

hog got your tongue?

you missed me, sidewinder.

hello there, you lonesome polecat. 

please, don’t do that. it stops my heart.

put another quarter in and try again. 

get in, dope. 

you never ask me what i want to do. 

who the hell do you think you are, buddy?

if you open your mouth once more, i’m going to nail it shut. 

i’ll stop the car and push you out, and you’ll walk the last mile.

my dad was a bastard, alright. 

you’re going to get the belt for that. 

too much wine. 

so long, suckers!

you look like you’ve been embalmed. 

it’s alright. go back to sleep. 

we’re going right here and have us a little talk. 

it’s nice to have somebody take care of you. 

my life ain’t exactly a bed of petunias. 

my old man ain’t talked to me since the day kennedy got shot. 

honey, the lord blessed you with talent. 

i used to be good when i was a kid, but i’m not good anymore. 

i could just kill him. i really could.

do that again, you’ll run a three-legged race to the undertaker.

sounds like one hell of a gamble to me. 

i like him, too. i just hate his taste in music.

you always said you could fight with somebody and still like them.

now you’re using your old noggin.

thanks, pal.

my boy. 

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[bvannn]

Weekly Update March 29, 2024

I’m pretty volatile in terms of mood, but I did get a good amount of actual work done on projects. I’m exhausted, I haven’t fixed my sleep schedule yet because I’m addicted to working. Like I’ve genuinely tried to stop and go to be early or sleep in and I just always ‘just one more drawing, just one more verse, just one more thumbnail, it’s let me find this one perfect instrument, just let me finish these four bars, just let me-‘ and before you know it it’s two hours past bedtime and you haven’t even brushed your teeth yet. Or eaten dinner. On the bright side all the stuff I’ve done has gone pretty well!

First big exciting point, that little pitch comic I’ve been working on? Thumbnailing/writing is done. Done enough anyway. I might still go back to edit some pages but I can get going on others now, which is great because even though I’ll only post the full thing once I have the whole comic complete, I might post individual panels, so there will be stuff to see! I’m also going to try to keep writing at night, so I can let other episodes and stories play out a bit, but Art priority will be shifting more to the comic. It will be 30 pages so it will likely take a while, but I’m hoping I’ll be able to do 3 or so panels a week while I’m finishing up this semester and switch to a page a day once I have more time.

Music is also going very well. I’m putting the final mixing touches on a vocaloid cover song (unless I decide to go back and redo the guitar, which I might), which I’ll try to start putting visuals to soon, although that’ll likely be pretty slow since I finally got past the thing that was bottlenecking me on the comic project. I’ll also have to get licensing settled, although that currently looks to be affordable. The whole project has given me a taste for blood and now I want to do a bunch of other cover stuff, but good news: I also found a nearly finished cover of another song that I had put aside in favor of the Green Day one. That’ll probably take a while before I can call it ‘done’, though, whereas I could probably release the first cover song today if I really wanted. I have some time tonight where I’ll try to throw some music together, maybe I’ll work on that.

There’s a few smaller nearly-finished songs I dug up from the depths of my WIPs too, one I need to redo a melody line, one I was bottlenecked on finding a specific instrument for, which I did the other day in lab, and a few others that also either need structure or Melodies. Plus there’s those two that are waiting on lyrics still but I’m still chugging at that, just slowly. I might also try that one tonight too, if I finish or can’t do the vocal cover for whatever reason. There’s also a couple character themes that haven’t really been priorities but I did re-outline one that I’ve been working on, so once I have recording time I can go try that one. That one is on its third draft so I really hope this one will stick.

Other miscellaneous projects haven’t seen much progress this week. I’m still thinking things through for that epithet TTRPG campaign, but I’m having a bit of trouble outlining the third chapter. I just need more brain power for that though, so earlier bedtimes would do it. A couple other art things keep coming to mind but I’ve been focusing more on big projects, so that’ll probably continue if I can. This next week I want to focus on keeping my body as healthy as I can, and then comic, second cover song, and visuals for first cover song, in that order of priority. Passive projects I can work on while doing other activities will be epithet TTRPG planning, song lyrics, and outlining future comic stuff, in that order of priority. If I come up with any song Melodies or ideas for visuals for the song I’m finishing up those priorities might shift, but right now I want to stick to more of a plan, since it worked out well this week.

#weekly update