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y-rhywbeth2 · 5 months

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Gods and Clergy: Bhaal

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

I'm in a Durge and Orin mood, so we're getting the full details on Bhaal and his priesthood now. Fun fact, did you know the Dark Urge couldn't even die without Daddy's permission?

Featuring:

Intro: Do you realise this cult is basically a crime syndicate supported by the rich and powerful?

Priests: Hierarchy. Responsibilities. Murder. I rather like the ceremonial regalia, personally.

Deathstalkers: Teleporting! Killing people with your mind! Unlimited ressurections courtesy of Bhaal!! And yet more crazy shit!

Bhaal: Kitten thinks of nothing but murder all day. Also mortal backstory and the Slayer is absolutely nothing like the games depict it

Right then, "Bhaal awaits thee," and blah.

"Make all folk fear Bhaal. Let your killings be especially elegant, or grisly, or seem easy so that those observing them are awed or terrified. Tell folk that gold proffered to the church can make the Lord of Murder overlook them for today." - Bhaal's Dogma

Unsurprisingly for an ex-assassin, Bhaal is the patron god of assassins. Assassins, mercenaries, bounty hunters who aren't bringing their quarry in alive and, presumably, executioners all tend to send a prayer to Bhaal for success. Faithful were called Bhaalyn in the East and Bhaalists in the West. As BG3 takes place in Western Faerûn we'll use the latter.

Amongst these assassin worshippers we find the oh-so healthy individuals for whom killing is more than a job. These killers who regard their murders as a "pastime and a duty" join the clergy.

That said, Bhaalists do not murder indiscriminately. The taking of another life is a holy act, a lot of thought and planning goes into both the kill itself as well as what impact the death may have upon the world. Once the target is slain, they are to smear the victim's blood over their hands and draw Bhaal's symbol by the body with it. If Bhaal is pleased then the blood will vanish.

Bhaal supports and encourages his followers attaining wealth and comfort (it's a good hook to draw them in, and it makes him look good if his followers are successful), and in exchange for their worship his priest-assassins receive the priest spells and administer to the lay worshippers, who benefit second-hand. The assassins have an easier time killing people and getting rich and Bhaal profits from more prayer and death. A win for everyone (who didn't die in the process).

Bhaalist temples historically have spent their time founding and sponsoring guilds of assassins and thieves, including infamous organisations such as the Shadow Thieves of Amn. These guilds survived their patron's death, and while they were mostly businesses throughout the years of Bhaal's death many still paid homage (although there was some confusion involving his replacement, Cyric) and have presumably resumed worship. There's a massive old temple still functioning over in Thay; the Tower of Swift Death, and the assassins work closely with the Red Wizards who rule the country.

Bhaalists have no tolerance for rival guilds and organisations not following Bhaal (which would make them independent of their control) and will eliminate them. They will also root out anybody in the area that will attempt to oppose or otherwise interfere in their business and ensure they have freedom to go about their jobs/worship.

Their other job is to ensure the church has a steady income. They terrorise the commoners into paying tithes in exchange for safety from being sacrificed this tenday (a protection racket, basically) while leaving "economically and socially important individuals live unharmed." I mean, the peasantry have far less enemies to assassinate and gold to spend, so. Plus the rich and powerful are brilliant at turning a blind eye to crime when it benefits them, as well as making sure the evidence never sees the light of day - know which side your bread is buttered on, and all. Baldur's Gate has no law against the worship of Bhaal. Why do you think the original temple exists, after all? Bhaalists actively seek out and sway such potential patrons who would be... amenable to sponsoring and protecting their technically-legal church and its not so-legal activities in exchange for their services.

Urban temples of Bhaal are usually dark, subterranean affairs built under the city streets, containing countless branching tombs that are home to the bodies of the clergy's victims - said victims are usually wandering around down there as restless undead.

Bhaal's clergy can be recognised as Bhaalists by their ceremonial robes - full body robes of black or deep purple with a deep cowl. The robes will be randomly and violently streaked with flashes of violet. Their entire face is fully obscured by a black veil, to both hide their identity and make it appear as though the hood is empty for the intimidation factor.

The leader of the church in an area is the High Primate/Primistress, who can be identified by a red belt/sash they wear over their robes and the fancy curved ceremonial dagger that marks them as a high ranking priest and a specialty priest known as a Deathstalker - more about them in a moment.

High Primates spent much of their time planning the proper strategies of manipulating nearby rulers, inhabitants, and organizations into the deeds and behaviour that the Bhaalyn desired.

The High Primate is directly served by the First Deaths, who in turn can call upon a council of the nine most senior clergy; the Cowled Deaths. Below them were the regular priests, who were known collectively as the Deathdealers and are referred to by the title Slaying Hand. A Bhaalist rises in the ranks by hunting and ritually killing a target with nothing but their bare hands, which they will then report to a higher ranking priest who will confirm that they are being truthful. If they are then there's a party, and a ritual sacrifice is held to celebrate.

When on a job they dress in black - in the form that suits whatever their preferred method of killing in. Leather armour, mage robes, whatever.

Bhaalists pray to their god before sleep. In the temple the entire congregation comes together to pray in a formal ceremony called "Day's Farewell"). Bhaalists are also to pray before setting out on a murder.

Bhaalists only observe one holy day. It's the Feast of the Moon, a continent-wide holiday for honouring the dead and honouring one's ancestors. Bhaalists have their own spin on it where they remember dead Bhaalists and celebrate with stories of murder to honour them.

All Bhaalists are to commit a murder every tenday at midnight, should they be unable to fulfil this duty then they are to kill two people in place of the one who should've died that day. Before the victim dies, the murderer is to ensure that they know their killer and that they died as a sacrifice to the God of Death; "Bhaal awaits thee, Bhaal embraces thee, none escape Bhaal."

The specialty priests of Bhaal, those who dedicate their devotion and worship no god other than him, are the Deathstalkers.

One does not have to be a cleric to join the ranks, though the majority are. Rogues, rangers, barbarians and fighters are the most common, but all classes make an appearance (and most are multiclassed clerics)

To become a Deathstalker one must have murdered sixteen sapient creatures in sixteen different methods with sixteen different weapons. This presumably is also the rite of passage to becoming a member of the Brethren of the Keen Strike - an order of Bhaalist assassins to which all Deathstalkers belong.

Distressingly for people who aren't Bhaalist, Bhaal's Deathstalkers regained their Bhaalist abilities around 1372 DR, following the end of the Bhaalspawn Crisis, and resumed their duties, spreading death and terror in his name as they worked to bring him back to full power. The most popular argument for how the priests of a dead deity were getting their spells is that another god - likely Cyric, was granting them spells disguised as Bhaal. However, in the wake of the Bhaalspawn Crisis and the wave of fear felt towards Bhaal that resulted (which counts as prayer), the rumour mill became very fond of the idea that, despite how the crisis ended, Bhaal had still managed to resurrect at least some scrap of himself through that fear and the God of Murder was haunting the Realms once more.

The various abilities Bhaal gifts to his Deathstalkers include the following:

[From 3.5e] The ability to identify key weaknesses in a target by studying them for only a few moments, killing them in a single strike. They are also supernaturally good at stabbing people with their ceremonial daggers.

[3.5e] The ability to tap into the hatred of a person, stoking it into homicidal rage and direct it at another person who they will kill in a mindless bloody rage (also called the Urge to Slay, an ability Bhaal himself has)

[3.5e] Bhaal's own inability to just fucking stay dead - a Deathstalker Bhaal doesn't want dead will come back to life an hour after it is killed, with a single hit point left. During the time prior to resurrection they are an actual corpse.

[2e] They can point at a person, sending necrotic energy coursing through them and causing them significant damage, agony and possibly death.

[2e] They can inflict severe wounds on a person just by thinking it.

[2e] They can teleport! A Deathstalker can teleport themselves (and other people, if they're powerful enough) to the Throne of Blood and from there they can teleport to anywhere on Toril that isn't protected by warding magic. Bhaal won't do anything to protect Deathstalkers while they're in the Lower Planes - if you're strong enough to get yourself here, you're strong enough to get yourself out.

[2e] They can affect the emotions of those around them, reversing whatever emotions an individual is feeling towards them into its polar opposite.

[2e] They can accelerate the entropic aging process of objects.

Bhaal himself is "violent, cruel and hateful at all times." Being in the presence of the living fills him with an overwhelming urge to kill and destroy. He presents himself as either on the verge of a violent rampage or cold and ruthlessly calculating depending on which suits the occasion best. A Lawful Evil deity, his domain is the Throne of Blood in the first layer of the Lower Plane of Gehenna (Khalas), part of Bane's domain (Banehold). Hilariously, not a single Baldurs Gate game has got this right. BG2:SoA claimed it was the Hells, BG2:ToB changed to the Abyss and, for some reason, BG3 has put it in the Grey Wastes.

Bhaal served Bane, and was in turn served by Loviatar (goddess of pain) and Talona (goddess of disease).

His holy symbol is the Circle of Tears; clue in the name, it's a skull surrounded by teardrops of blood forming a circle.

Bhaal rarely manifested in avatar form. When he did, his main avatar in urban areas was the Slayer, which was not a four armed scaly monster:

"The Slayer look[s] like a corpse with a feral face, [bloodless] skin, and deep lacerations that endlessly [weep] black ichor that vanish[es] before it strikes anything."

It makes no noise at all when it moves. it can talk (its softly spoken and sounds creepy). It can levitate at will and summon floating daggers made of bone, that appeared and disappeared at will. They would cause any living flesh they hit to wither and die. Creatures slain this way would rise again as zombies under its control - or have its skeleton shattered into more bone daggers. Enough of these daggers form an area-of-effect; a wall made of a flurry of sharp shards of bone that would trap the soul of anyone they killed. Oh, yeah, and the Slayer can also inflict the overwhelming urge to murder everyone around you on the people around it.

Bhaal's other avatar was the Ravager, which was mostly an angry 30-foot tall giant with horns.

While in either avatar form, Bhaal also had the ability to create any form of undead loyal to him by touching a corpse (greater undead like vampires would be free once they'd completed whatever task he'd assigned them). He could also immediately destroy any undead, turning them to dust at a touch. Bhaal cannot be harmed by the undead.

Rather than using his avatars, Bhaal usually just manifested as a pair of flying undead hands that can shoot bone daggers at people. Or a laughing human skull trailing teardrops. Both these manifestations are capable of speech, casting darkness and driving everybody into a mindless bloodthirsty rampage - you might have noticed he really loves this trick.

He also invented his own undead monsters, the Harrla of Hate. Harrla are invisible creatures, which if you use magic to see them appear like human shaped wavering impressions. Guess what they do?? If you guessed "fill people with a sense of overpowering hatred and drive people into committing homicide" get yourself a fucking cookie!! (This isn't said anywhere in canon, but Bhaal has less imagination than a chunk of rock, I swear to god...)

According to one version of the story; in life Bhaal was a Netherese mortal wizard named Tharlagaunt Bale. He was one of a few hand picked by Jergal to bear a fragment of the god's divinity and raised from a young age to serve him (a Chosen, basically). Hilariously, one of the others was Karsus. These Chosen were promised godhood for their service as they set about performing a ritual to increase Jergal's waning power and make him one of the most powerful deities. Karsus chose to try and make himself a god instead and blew up the Weave, destroying Netheril and the plan and killing all of his coworkers except Bale.

Bale got a job as an assassin, changed the spelling to Bhaal and dropped his first name, teamed up with a bitter ex-slave with no name except the title "Bane of the Ancients" and a necromancer prince called Myrkul Bey al-Kursi.

His other backstory features him as Arabhal; the spymaster and chief assassin of the Netherese City of Rdiuz, and an ally of Bane. The two became unwitting paws of Jergal, who directed them through nightmares to do his bidding and slay various primordial divinities who threatened his plans.

Regardless of backstory, they all grabbed more divinity by killing an ancient god (also Bane's ex-master) and then he went knocking on his old boss' door for that godhood he was promised (Jergal at this point had embraced depression and just went "yeah, whatever, have it. Idgaf, I'm retiring." Or was manipulating them into becoming his divine pawns. There's more than one take on this story.) and Bhaal walked off the god of murder.

He learned of a prophecy predicting he would die when his stupid ex-travelling companions would decide to piss of Ao who would then kick all the gods out and make them mortal, and Bhaal then decided to sleep with what seems to be at least 25% of Faerûn to produce kids who would hold fragments of himself so that they could all fight to the death and he could resurrect himself afterwards. He was killed by the soon-to-be-god Cyric not far from Baldur's Gate during the Time of Troubles. Cyric proceeded to take his job, and there was a huge fight between Bhaalists who converted and those who didn't and the converts killed all the holdouts.

The rest of the backstory is basically just the original Baldur's Gate games.

#Durge is basically a crime boss #Also; Bhaal please have more than one fucking idea for once in your fucking miserable life I AM BEGGING YOU #dark urge #orin the red #long post #bg3 #durge #the dark urge #baldurs gate 3

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razzle-n-dazzle · 2 months

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- hi ! 💌,,

ISTG you’re writing is so well done and creative I had to contain myself from like spam!!

I hope you’re still taking request and if you’re not that’s totally cool, I’ll wait ‘till next round.

Adam reincarnates in hell and oh, would you look at that? the s/o is the only one trying to help and not making him feel worse that he already is. (i just need wholesome content, exam week is killing me rn).

AGAIN, love you’re writing thx for reading so far!

ᯓ★ Let's Give This Another Shot (and not fuck it up this time) Sinner! Adam / Sinner! Reader | Drabble

‗ content / trigger warning: fluff, swearing, Adam being Adam, not proof read (we die like Adam) ‗ author's note: this is for everyone who's dealing with exam weeks, it sucks but I believe in all of you any you're going to kill those exams! (don't let them kill you!). Also thank you so much for the compliments Anon <3, I write for the people and myself, so I'm glad everyone is enjoying the crazy shit I've posted here!

ᯓ When you fall from grace, it's not a pleasant feeling; That Adam knew - or at least he thought he knew - well enough from hearing about Lucifer falling, hearing the horrific things the others whispered about it, mentioning it in passing before the thought disappeared and dispelled into the air as though Lucifer had never held a place in Heaven. As though he was nothing that what he was now, demonic figure that wore a crown made out of skeletons and bones fashioned to mimic horns. Adam never cared about the stories that were whispered, about the horrors he sometimes heard through passing, about Sera recalling how she heard Lucifer scream on the way down, about how Michael watched with horror as Lucifer tried to shield Lilith and himself, about how Gabriel heard his pleads and couldn't do anything; No one could save him from the fate that had been weighed on his shoulders as soon as he had fed the apple to Eve. And partly it was because Adam blamed Lucifer for ruining his paradise, for infecting the mind of both his (ex) wives and causing him grief and pain. Dying alone is almost just as unpleasant as falling from grace; almost.

ᯓ You see, while Adam had died alone on Earth, at least his soul went to somewhere pleasant and he was able to continue living; To make a name for himself and, he guessed, make some friends and live a rather worriless and carefree life in the clouds. He was able to have fun, rock out, and be known as the first human soul ever being able to reach Heaven - that was something not even Eve managed to do, and he took it with pride! It was his title. It was partly who he was. Maybe it was all he was. That much became more clear to him when he found himself waking up in Hell again, the stabbing pain of a dagger striking his back still their along with the weight of his wings. At first, he had thought he managed to survive the assassination attempt, that Lute had just left him in Hell on accident or because she thought he was dead. It caused some sort of pride to well in his chest, a flame that sparked his need to go boost and scream at the top of his lungs - he had survived an angelic weapon! He was immune! He was the strongest angel there was, because Sera would totally fall and die in a sad crumble after being stabbed with angelic metal! He was . . .

ᯓ And that's when Adam happened to pass by a mirror, or well more of a reflective glass on the street of Hell (as he walked, not questioning the odd ball looks he got), and that's when he saw it; What looked like a stranger to be staring back at him, engulfing and taking over his reflection like they owned it, like it was there own. That wasn't him! Well, it looked like him, he could admit that, but it wasn't as sexy or as handsome as him! The reflection would copy his movement, snarling as he did and grinning all the same. With his same fluffed up hair and piercing eyes, the reflection wore no mask yet still held the horns of his all the same; Even the way they slowly curled back before dipping down, forming and L for the gold spikes to rest at the end. The reflection wore his exterminator uniform, yet it was the darker version with the yellow having somehow been dulled and deepened and faded out all at once. His wings were still golden, still tucking at his sides from under his arms all the same, though there was no halo to accompany them this time. And Adam almost wanted to laugh, maybe it was hysteria or maybe it was disbelief, yet he watched to cry and laugh and break the glass all at once; Denying that this was his fate, being unable to stomach that he, First Man Adam, was not only double dead yet in hell. Hell! The first man cannot be in hell, he had created everyone on Earth; All of them came from his nuts and in turn all of them should be praising the fucking land he walked on because if it wasn't for him he wouldn't be here!

ᯓ And yet the Reflection looked back all the same, teasing him with a distorted grin; Like it could feel his distress in the way he curled his fist, pulling back before he slammed it against the glass. It gave a crack, a small one at first, before completely shattering. Adam could care less what shop or business had that glass, he could care less how he effected them or how he was going to be painted in Hell, because this was some crazy mistake! He was not supposed to be down here and he was not going to stand for some stupid mistake that happened because some small crazy bitch decided to back-stab him! Literally! And yet, if Adam wanted any of the answers he so desperately craved, he would have to suck in some of his pride and trudge along to the damn Hotel and talk to the residence who had taken his life. It would take him a while before he accepted such a fate, taking the chance between deciding and doing to walk along the Pride Ring before stumbling into the wrong town and being chased out by crazy demons who wanted to bite him! Maybe even eat him . . . What crazy place is this?!

ᯓ When Adam had begrudging and reluctantly knocked on the new Hotel door, which he would never admit to stopping and marveling at for a second, he would feel that ever irritating dread weigh in his stomach. Who wouldn't feel such a feeling after coming to the front door of a group of people you had tried to exterminate only, Adam didn't know how long, prior! Maybe, silently, somewhere inside Adam knew if he were in their shoes, having faced what they had, he wouldn't accept him either; He would throw him to the curb. Yet, he didn't exactly like that thought, and it wasn't very on brand, so he shoved it down and away and deep until all the could think about is: How in the hell would they not accept me? I'm Adam, I'm the first man! And yet when the door opened, allowing Adam to come face to face with none other than Vaggie, he felt that dread creep in a little. But, not enough to stop him from greeting Vaggie in a less that desirable way, "What's up Vagasaurus?" The sneering comment left his mouth, "I love what you did with the place. You know, it looks slightly less like a destroyed pile of Sh-" Yet the door would only slam in his face before Adam could finish his thoughts or his words; Leaving him standing outside, a tad awkwardly, waiting for the doors to open again. He, also, would never admit giving a glance behind him, making sure no one was standing there to watch him standing in front of the doors.

ᯓ "Vaggie, who was that?" Charlie would call to her girlfriend as she walked away from the door, coming towards where Charlie sat on the floor organizing new activities that everyone could do. All while Nifty rushed around nearby, cleaning Sir Pentious' and Dazzle's memorials in the new Hazbin Hotel. She muttered to herself quietly, not bothering Angel and Husk, who sat at the bar. "No one important." Vaggie would mumble, not being able to catch her tone before it could reveal that it was someone less than desirable. Possibly another sinner choosing a path of redemption after the last extermination! Which the thought caused Charlie to gain a burst of energy, barreling onto her feet so quickly that she knocked around the carefully organized slits of paper on the floor. Vaggie tried to protest, saying it was truly no one at the door and Charlie should just leave it alone! But she was never a really good lair, "Oh calm down Vaggie, I'm sure it's no one bad!" Charlie would grin with a wave, her hand touching the crisp and cool metal of the door handle before swinging the door back open. "Hi, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! How can I-" And yet her words fell flat as soon as her eyes were locked onto Adam's - who quickly spun around, pretending like he hadn't just been looking behind him - and was also welcomed by his light groan of annoyance. "Oh fuck me." ". . . help you." Charlie's voice flattened, dropping as her eyes widened. You know, she's never felt this shocked to see someone at the steps of the Hotel before since Alastor had came along without warning.

ᯓ "Adam?!"

ᯓ "BITCH CAN YOU NOT SHOUT MY NAME?!" Was the next words that were exclaimed out of the ex-angel, the now outcast, as he seemed rather eager to push Charlie inside of her own Hotel and walk in after; Quickly shutting the door as though there was someone outside waiting and stalking him, watching him with all their attention. "Hey no, you cannot just let yourself in here this isn't Heaven!" Vaggie was swift to march her way over to the two, seeing as Charlie wasn't doing anything to discard of Adam she might as well do it herself! No way was she going to let some two-timing exorcist angel not only push her girlfriend around yet also push his way into the hotel. Who did he think he is? And yet Charlie waved out a hand, stopping Vaggie in her tracks. There was confusion, and the two at the bar would turn their heads, before scowling seeing the fallen angel. Adam was sure he could hear Angel's accented voice loud and clear shouting out, 'oh what the fuck is this bullshit!' before Charlie began to talk to him again in a rushed fashion; One he remembered quite well during the meeting that Lucifer subbed her in for instead of coming to it himself, and he was still annoyed by her voice. "What are you doing down here? I thought you-! You know . . . " Charlie rushed out, trying to make it quick as though the others at the hotel would jump and kill Adam again with no remorse, finishing the job that clearly didn't stay permeant the first time; And, honestly, Adam wouldn't put it above anyone here to do that. Adam, who had been picking at his teeth with his pinkie finger, would turn away from Charlie and shrug his shoulders, "Yeah, well, I fuckin' did and ended up down here for some fucking reason, probably a mistake and mix up of souls. I'm sure you have plenty of those down here, pft!- I mean who else would want to stay in this charity case!-" "We're not entertaining you Adam!" Vaggie would cut off the ex-angel, causing his interest to peak over at her. Though he relaxed quickly enough, maybe too quickly seeing as Vaggie had drown out her own weapon and that . . . nasty little creature stood beside her with the dagger made out of angelic metal; Now that little one-eyed demon could give Adam the creeps, maybe even a little (lot) fright, but not Vaggie. "You know, I thought were all trying to redeem souls in this junk box of yours." Adam scoffed, quickly crossing his arms with a tilt of his head. "Are you fucking discriminating against me wanting to return to where I rightfully belong just because I was an angel before this? Wow, that's a low blow, especially for someone light you." Adam's voice dripped with sarcasm mixed with malice, maybe even still a little pride. "You literally tried killing up like- 2 weeks ago!" Vaggie would gesture to the side, as though trying to compare time to the length of her arm. "Oh shit it's been too weeks?" Adam paused, thinking about it yet drawing a blank and shrugging in result, "Shit, didn't know, pft! That shit must still be fresh for you then, huh? Well, let me remind you all that you weren't the ones who DIED!-"

ᯓ "Adam?" Your voice would slip out into the common space of the lobby of the hotel, honey sweat to Adam's ears; Filling them with a melody that could match the songs of Heaven, running down his spine with the comfort he didn't know he needed until now. But even then, you knew he wouldn't break his 'tough man' exterior until you managed to snag him along, away from the prying eyes of everyone else. "Holy shit, hey Babe!" Adam was quick, rushing past and slightly pushing Charlie out of his way to make his way over to you, over to his love. "What the fuck are you doing in a dumb like this? I thought you said you had your own fucking spot near Cannibal Town!" - It had been the only reason why he had tried traveling to that cursed town, even while knowing its residents might try and take a bite out of him or his wings. He craved for the familiarity of someone in this new world, as he had never felt this vulnerable since his first days on Eden; Earth. God's Earth. "Babe?" A chorus of confused, slightly concerned, and baffled voices followed as Adam came to your side, swinging an arm around your waist and instantly drawing you closer. You swore he was fighting off the urge to flick off the others, a casual fuck you for trying to push him off and out. You could feel their eyes as you leaned up to pepper a kiss into Adam's shoulder, to which he squeezed your waist slightly tighter, adorning a snicker upon his face. "Wait, wait!-" Vaggie started, taking a staggering step forward as her arms laid limp besides her. One of her eyebrows were cocked up, her eyes narrow, "What do you mean Babe?" Your name left her lips, "Don't tell me you're dating that fucker!" She would soon exclaim, tossing her hands out as they finally regained the life they had lost. To which you would turn towards her confused, and then remember oh yeah . . . the battle. The one you hadn't been present for though heard about through Channel 666 News; In all honesty it's why you had came here, to the Hotel, to see if you could try and get to Heaven and find Adam again - praying he didn't actually die but was taken back to Heaven to heal or was revived in some way. "Uh, yeah. Adam's my boyfriend-" You would start with a wavering smile, nerves tugging at the edge of your lips. "Oh, this couldn't have gotten worse." Angel would groan, slamming his head down onto the bar countertop, acting like a disappointed parent; Silently telling you that you could have done better. To which you placed a hand on your hip, about to tell Angel off, only to be cut off by Husk tsking and shaking his head, "I would not put you as an Angel and sexist fucker, but whatever rows your boat." His tone came off dry, uninterested, and a little hostile. And with Charlie's silence, you couldn't help but feel the weight of everyone's words a little heavier.

ᯓ And Adam noticed that, with one glance down at you and your face, his wings would flare defensively and his glare was snapped back at the other demons. He couldn't care less that they had been talking shit about him, he couldn't care less on how they saw him or the reasons they thought you could do better than him; They shouldn't care about whether or not someone was out of their friend's league if they were clearly happy with the person! That, Adam knew - or maybe he believed it more. "Hey, what your fucking mouths!-" He would start, trying to draw you away from the others. Sure, he was no longer an Angel, but he was sure as hell he could take any of them in a fight anyways! And yet, his anger was snuffed like a candle as soon as you placed your hand on his chest, gently pushing in and pushing him back. The breath of ire was caught in his throat, not even being able to reach his lungs, as he glanced down at you, noticing the spark that you had seemingly stolen right out of his chest and placed in your eyes. He knew your reservations of fighting with friends, or with anyone in general, so he couldn't help but feel pride swell up in his chest watching you stand up for yourself, for you and him: "I will not let you speak about me, nor Adam that way!" You defended, shooting a star through your eyelashes that the group; Who seemed just as taken aback as Adam had been before the warmth spread from his chest. Vaggie would scrunch her face, much more concerned that irritated or disappointed, but also all of that at the same time. Your name slipped from her lips, "You can't be serious! He's . . ." She stumbled for a moment, trying to grasp her words, "He's led genocides on Sinners all over Hell! He's like really gross and he doesn't respect people. He's a douche and a dick!-" "Dick master," Adam would correct Vaggie just to piss her off, earning a slight jag in the gut from you and a snarl from Vaggie. Vaggie, who, tossed out her hands once more, yet pointed at Adam this time, "See what I mean?!"

ᯓ "And tell me how you felt when you first lost your divinity?"

ᯓ The question lingered in the room, drifting and sticking in the air, as Vaggie stared at you with disbelief; Her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide, and her stance rigid. You noticed how Charlie grew nervous behind her, how she seemed rather uncomfortable in the atmosphere that been created in the room since Adam had arrived than you. She would place a hand on Vaggie's shoulders, attempting to comfort her, yet failed to pick out any words to say in response. "It's hard enough to leave somewhere you've called home," You would continue, frowning, "To be tossed out like you had meant nothing, like one mistake had deemed you unworthy despite everything great you have done in your life. Vaggie! . . . out of everyone, I would have thought at least you would understand something like that." Seeing as she had gone through the same process herself, yet had always had Charlie there by her side to walk through everything with. Was she implying that Adam didn't deserve the same because of what he had done? Sure it was crude and cruel, but everyone deserved another chance to mistake their wrongs and that was what this hotel was about; And you voiced such concerns to not just Vaggie but to Charlie as well. What makes Adam so much different from Lucifer, or say another Fallen Angel that managed to wind up down here? What makes him less worthy to be redeemed? What made him less of a human soul as say Angel or Alastor? Everyone fucks up in their life and as long as they're trying to better themselves, understanding what they did wrong and why it was wrong, they should be given a chance!

ᯓ It wasn't long before Charlie said that everyone should take a break, and as such you would lead Adam away from the crowd of people and up to your own room in the Hotel. You could feel Vaggie's eyes linger, you felt like she wanted to say something yet let her words fall short before they were ever given a chance. But, even if they had, you were too pent up to even discuss anything logically with her at the moment. And you think she could feel or at least tell and that's why her words fell short, yet you would never know - you're not Vaggie nor would you ever think like she does.

ᯓ You and Adam found yourselves in your bed after settling some matters, such as a change of clothing for him and whether or not you wanted to try and make the trip back to your apartment today; Luckily you had some of Adam's old T-shirts and joggers you had stolen from him from one of the few trips where Adam had snuck you into Heaven - and yet on the same note, either of you felt like going downstairs to face anyone to leave to your apartment. So, with not much to do, you set the TV on as background noise and brain fuzz as you snuggled up to Adam's side. You felt as his claws, at first, scratched gently at his side, pairing with a kiss on the forehead, and then they began to tap the flesh there; Like you were some little drum that made no noise, yet Adam continued until he switched to rubbing his thumb against your hip. "What's wrong, Adam?" Concern dripped from your lips, forcing Adam to draw his eyes away from the mindless television and down to meet you, and your eyes. He had known your attention had been up at him for a while, at first admiring his face (as you didn't get to see it much) yet it had shifted to concern the more he played with the plush flesh of your waist. He wondered if you could tell he was nervous from the start. Adam's eyes would falter and glance off to TV again, his words causing a lump in his throat as he tried to play through them; Trying to find the best combination to spew out instead of talking without thinking - vomiting whatever first came to mind and not thinking about it later. And maybe you could tell the trepidations that filled his head too; Seeing as you shifted your position from his side, pushing yourself up, and instead onto his lap, effectively blocking his vision of the television. Your hands rested on his chest, something so natural at this point yet something that still caused Adam's lungs to halt for a minute and for his stomach to flutter. Even so, he would give you a curious glance up and down, trancing the curves of your body with his eyes as he has done countless times before - yet every time, you managed to take his breath away. "If you wanted to fuck, babe, you could have just said so!" The snarky remark left his lips, meeting your amused yet disapproving face. He knew that's not what you wanted, yet he couldn't help but entertain yourself when you were basically straddling his waist; As such, his fingers would drag along the calf of your leg before his hands would trail up your thighs before tailing back down and up once more. He saw the flutter in your breath, yet you tried to keep your composure. Even if Adam was making it ever so hard.

ᯓ "Adam," You would start, your tone causing Adam to stop caressing your thighs. It stuck his eyes to yours, and he couldn't look away no matter how much his nerves pulled at him to. "I want you to know, no matter what happens . . . I'm here for you, okay? We're in this together. You're not a solo act anymore, we're a duet . . . or, well, more a duo act." Your words sunk down into Adam's skin, they infected through his lungs and ran to his heart before infecting all his blood and his veins. His hands, which had ran up to hold your waist, gave a gentle squeeze as he swallowed down the saliva that built up in his suddenly dry mouth. A duo act? Sure, he knew you two were dating, that you had been for a while, yet even then he had a silent thought in the back of his head that you would leave him, much like the others; So he never considered himself no more than what he had: A soloist. First Man Adam! . . . but now he was able to add being 'Yours' to his list with some sort of fire-like confidence; Burning and bright. It made his heart catch fire, even more so when you would stretch out lightly and lean down to lay down on his chest; Your warmth infecting all of him you touched, allowing his arms to wrap around your back and for his wings to fluff out and wrap around your frame. It was like he wanted to shield you from the world, shield you from Heaven, shield you from everyone and anything that wanted to hurt you. Sure he had the urge before, but now? . . . "You heard that big man?" Your voice broke through his thoughts, your teasing smirk had him fighting for a breath. You would playfully nudge his shoulder, "You're stuck with me, I'm stuck with you're, we're stuck together so you better be getting used to it! I'll fight for you, you fight for me, and we'll get back to that stupid place that outcasted you in the first place!" But he would like to stay here, with you, forever. "And we'll show Charlie and Vaggie that it can be done and that even if you fucked up you have a good heart in you! . . . Because I know you do under all the gunk." And your laughter had never sounded so sweet, and you touch has never felt so soft and loving.

ᯓ A duo act, huh? With you? Adam could get used to and stand behind that thought; Perhaps, even after all this time, he wanted nothing more than to hear those words, or well the meaning of those words, from your mouth since the start.

ᯓ But even then, with the emotions that swelled Adam's heart with nothing but pure love, he couldn't help but nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck. Your scent filled his nose with a warmth he missed, the soft skin of your neck flushed against his smirking lips, a feeling he longed for and couldn't forget. You were perfect, you always had been! "Fuck, Babe, when you say pretty shit like that, it's hard not to fuck you right here and now." Adam would groan before a loud cackle left his lips as soon as you smacked his back. All too used to his ways, you couldn't do much yet shake your head against Adam's shoulder, like a parent scolding their child for saying something offensive. "You ruined the mood Adam!" The huff escaped your lips, it hit Adam's neck and made goosebumps spring up his arms. "Again!" And yet, you didn't protest as Adam tossed you both into your sides with a fever, still cackling as though this was the funniest joke in the world - and you couldn't deny, you loved the sound of his laughter so much. Even as his stubble would tickle your neck as he did so, causing you to start laughing soon after and trying to push his head away from your neck. "Adam! Oh my god, Adam stop that tickles!" You gasped between breaths, struggling to push your boyfriend away as he found joy in your lighthearted misery. Though he would only curl around your frame, not answering your desperate calls of a truce and a stop, and trap you in his arms and wings with no remorse. "You're stuck with me Babe, you said it yourself! Now come here, let me kiss that pretty fucking face of yours until you can't breath!"

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solar-wing · 8 months

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🦇 Surviving Damian: BatBro's Life 🎞️

I don't know why, but the way Damian turns to look at Dick in this clip has me rolling

🦇 🎞️ A/N → A continuation of my Batbro Headcanons with everyone's favorite little assassin, Damian. This is also inspired by this post from @batsiblingfun. This mixes in a lot of different elements from different DC shows and movies, but still all tie together. Conner x Reader along with Damian x Raven included. WARNINGS: None really. family fluff, minor threats of violence. You and Damian conspiring together. Bruce needs his lawyers. Mentions of trauma and therapy. Joker being Joker.

🦇🎞️ Summary → It's one thing to find out Bruce Wayne is your biological father. It's another thing to find out you also have a half-brother from the same father who also didn't meet him until around the same time you did. Now, some would consider getting a new older brother to be a good thing. Of course, when they point out what they see as an ideal image of that, Damian Wayne is more or less far from it. Truthfully, you'd need an entire documentary to explain that trauma. But, in his defense, he did warn Bruce not to make him a middle child. Oh well...

🦇🎞️ Word Count → 5.3k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

🦇 ENJOY 🎞️

— Some may imagine having Bruce Wayne as your father entails a glamorous and extravagant life.

— "Oh wow! Your dad is Bruce Wayne? That's so cool!" "I bet you've been to so many great places." "Have you met any celebrities before?" "Your life must be so interesting!"

— To answer that, depends on the day. The watchtower is cool, but not as interesting as what you saw on that one trip to Puerto Rico. Would Superman even be considered a celebrity? And, define interesting.

— Because if you mean 'interesting' like waking up every day wondering if it's going to be some random supervillain that unalives you, or your own brother, then yes, your life is fascinating.

— What most people don't consider when they find out your father is Bruce Wayne is not only did you all of a sudden get a new parent, but you also got new siblings. As your eldest brother Dick once said, "I went from being an only child to living in utter chaos every day." The only difference is that Dick actually somewhat thrives in chaos. Which is weird considering you'd think it'd be someone more like Jason who lived by that statement.

— You, on the other hand, would rather go without the constant weird shit that goes on with your father and siblings all being a bunch of vigilantes who save your city and the world from crazy clowns and guys who clearly like to live every day like it's Halloween.

— But, the thing is, 90% of the shit you have to deal with doesn't even come from those creeps and villains. It's literally from your own house, specifically one person.

— At one point in your life, you wished to have a sibling. Someone you could share that irreplaceable bond with. Fighting over small stuff like the remote, or who got first dibs on Alfred's cookies. Only to kiss and make up later when one of you got bored or hungry. Insulting and torturing each other only to join forces if someone outside of you two decided to mess with the other. Coming up with crazy schemes that would inevitably shorten your father's life expectancy.

— You know, normal stuff.

— You'd think Dick would get the title of 'most stable' among your siblings, but surprisingly, that was awarded to Jason, which, I know right?! Mind you, 'stable' was being used on very loose terms here. But, Richard was almost more like a second dad than a brother, which you figured came with the role of being the oldest sibling. Since he had the most experience dealing with an emotionally absent Bruce, he'd pick up where he fell off. Of course, Bruce got better over time and learned how to not distance himself whenever his feelings got even a little poked, but Richard was always your go-to whenever you needed support.

— You'd almost considered Jason for the title of most unstable, but then you met Tim, and realized Jason was actually better than you thought, considering what he's been through. Your second oldest brother wasn't really open towards you, but as you two started to spend time together, you grew on him and vice versa. At one point, the Red Hood persona vowed to not only do everything he could to keep you safe but as innocent and pure as you could be. He would not let Bruce and his questionable parenting ruin another child. His earlier methods were probably not the most effective. CPS was still calling at least once a week.

— There weren't enough words to describe Tim. When you first came to the mansion, he seemed completely normal and sane for the most part. Then, after you discovered your father's side hustle, you realized how opposite the reality was. You remembered something your mom said about the only things she was scared of. "I only fear two things in this life; God and the IRS." Well, you'd definitely be adding a certain Red Robin to that list. There were just things Tim would say or do that he thought was completely normal, and you'd be discreetly dialing a mental hospital, fearing for your safety. Why did you know the number for one off the top of your head? Let's just say you had your reasons. But, you'd rather have Tim as an ally than an enemy, so you refrained. That didn't stop you from keeping them on speed dial though.

— Yes, you definitely had some interesting siblings, but none of them compared to your other brother. The one you regrettably shared blood with. Hopefully, he didn't hear you say that.

— It was one thing to have Bruce Wayne as a father. It was an entirely different thing to have Damian Wayne for a brother.

— The first day you two met, Damian had already been at the manor for a few months when Talia had left him with Bruce while she went to handle business. What business that entailed, your father kept you in the shadows, and quite frankly, you were grateful. After your mom left you on the manor's doorsteps with a note that just read, "Trust me, he's yours," your life was never the same.

— You remembered being excited that day. You finally got to meet your dad, and you got a brother out of it too! Multiple brothers and sisters actually! Whoever was out there listening to you had answered your deepest wishes.

— Now, you wished they just minded their damn business.

— Unlike Damian, you were not aware of your father's secret identity. So, when you met, you were a little more than put off by Damian's first greeting towards you.

— "Father, I thought we discussed your habit of picking up street rats and turning them into your next apprentice."

— Truthfully, that was actually more than a pleasant start to your relationship with the trained assassin. When you eventually heard the story of how Dick and Damian "met" for the first time, you suddenly felt grateful at the fact there were no sharp objects nearby...that you knew of.

— If you happened to start locking your bedroom door at night and setting booby traps to alert you if anyone came in while you were sleeping, that was no one else's business but yours.

— The thing was, you tried to connect with Damian, but he would keep brushing you off. Bruce really wasn't that much help as he didn't have the best track record with his first three kids.

— The issue was you and Damian came from two completely different backgrounds, despite your shared parenthood.

— Damian was raised among an organization of highly-trained assassins and was molded from the second he was born to take over from his grandfather who was the equivalent of an undead lich, only he was actually alive. You had a normal childhood for the most part. You went to school, made friends, tried different hobbies, etc.

— You saw Damian as uptight and weird, and he saw you as naive and weak.

— Of course, as everything does in this family, shit only got more intense.

— After Bruce ran a DNA test and confirmed you were indeed his son, they got you set up in the manor and your new life. Your last name was officially changed to Wayne with you wanting to keep your mother's surname hyphenated in there.

— You wanted to decorate your bedroom, so you asked your dad to take you shopping, fully intending to take advantage of your newfound wealth (your mother taught you well). Bruce figured it'd be a great way for you and him to get to know each other as he was trying to be more of the supportive dad that Dick and Jason lectured him about. And if CPS decided to give him another one of their 'visits,' he'd rather not provide them with any more reasons to be taking down notes. He was still trying to find a way to punish Jason for that stunt.

— And at Alfred's suggestion, he brought Damian along, thinking it'd be great family time for the Wayne men, and it'd give his firstborn a chance at being an actual kid since Damian never decorated his room when he first got there.

— You went all out. At some point, Bruce wondered if everything he was buying was starting to become too much, but you threw him the puppy dog look you mastered at three years old, and he folded like a lawn chair. Your mother had grown resistant to that trick so, it was great to finally be using it again. Posters, knick-knacks, a new desk, a whole gaming set-up, LED lights, a gaming chair, you name it, you got it. You'd even tried to get Damian to get a few things for himself, wanting to get to know more about your brother.

— "I don't need materialistic objects to satisfy myself like you and other low-lives do. Besides, you're only doing this to 'make up' for the more than likely poor life you lived before with whoever your harlot mother is."

— Alright, that did it. You tackled Damian in the middle of the mall, throwing all your weight on top of him. Of course, you were unaware of his combat training so he threw you off pretty easily, pushing you to the ground and twisting your arm behind your back to where he almost broke it. Bruce had to yank him off you and grab you as well to prevent you from charging him again while everyone else around was taking pictures and videos.

— Bruce's PR team was not happy with the stories and articles on the gossip websites the next morning. But, they managed to twist it around into a positive light, painting the Billionaire Playboy as the role model male, doing his best to raise his two boys as best he could being a single father.

— "Oh, he's such a family man. #EvenMoreAttactive". – @Supermom92

— "He's a good man, Vanessa. A good man." - @mooreswhore

— "This is what we need more of. Strong men taking charge in their son's lives." – @topalpha

— "#GladTheyAin'tMyKids." – @aynonymous

— Of course, this did nothing to help the relationship between you and the youngest Boy Wonder, but Alfred's reassurance eased Bruce's headache.

— "Truthfully, Master Wayne, it would seem to me they are already falling quite well into their new roles as brothers. It will get better over time."

— When exactly was better? Because things only seemed to get more tense between you two. The fights didn't end there. As you spent more time in the manor, you'd gotten to know your other adoptive siblings. And particularly, spending time with your second oldest brother, you'd learned some defensive moves in fighting that only led to your fights with Damian getting worse now that you could hold your own a little more.

— Only there were some moves that you knew that Damian didn't, which really caused a shit storm.

— It may have taken Dick and Jason's combined strength to hold Damian back from trying to literally slice your throat open after you introduced him to the art of the cheese neck. Jason thought it was hilarious and low-key well deserved since your half-brother decided to cut open one of the stuffed bears you had since you were four. Alfred was able to put him back together, but that didn't help the need for revenge you had in the pit of your stomach.

— Since he couldn't murder you, he decided to go with the next best thing he had in mind; mental torture!

— He knew you loved Scooby-Doo, but had a slight fear of some of the monsters and scenes from the show. Look, shit from back in the 70s could be creepy with how they decided to do specific stuff. And sadly on your part, Damian had amazing resources thanks to dear old Papa Bruce.

— So, one day when you thought Bruce was on a business trip (he was on a League mission, and Dick, Jason, and Tim were nowhere to be found along with Alfred), you had the manor to yourself. Or, at least, you thought you did.

— Let's just say Damian decided to place you in your own Scooby-Doo episode, only a tad bit more rated R. Last time you checked, the vampire from that one episode didn't actually have blood and guts dripping from his teeth while chasing Shaggy and Scooby.

— Yeah, Bruce low-key had to invest in a therapist for that one. And CPS definitely took a note down when they saw part of the costume had fallen out of a trash bag and your "concerning" reaction to it. Damian had no shame.

— "Next time, he'll think twice about whose neck he's slapping."

— "Master Bruce, I really do think they're starting to grow on each other, if I do say so myself." This time, Alfred's words were not reassuring for the billionaire.

— Eventually, you and Damian came to a mutual understanding. You stay out of his way, and he would stay out of your way. And it worked! At least until you found out the big secret, and no not the one where Tim...actually, never mind.

— It was an accident, really it was. At least that's how Jason and Tim tried to spin it when he had to explain to Bruce how you thought Red Hood and Red Robin broke into the manor. In truth, they thought you were at a friend's house studying, and the tracker that was stitched to your backpack showed that.

— Hold up... tracker?

— You'd grill them and your dad for that later.

— Now, you were constantly in the Batcave and working Damian's last nerve. You kept asking to help on missions or patrol, and shockingly, this was the one time when Bruce put his foot down and said no to having an adolescent child fighting crime with him.

— Who would've figured?

— The most he'd let you do was help Alfred with comms and computer stuff. Of course, that'd only lead to you and Damian getting into one of your brotherly spats over the comms.

— "At least I have competent training to be in the field. You can barely defend yourself against a cat." Damian sneered into his mic while roundhouse-kicking a thug.

— "First of all you stuck-up brat, Alfred the Cat and I have a lovely relationship and we were play fighting. Secondly, the only thing you're competent at is proving what happens when you forget to use protection!" You quipped right back.

— Dick and Tim tried holding back their laughs while Jason just shouted "DAMN!" Bruce had to pretend not to notice Damian's glare through the domino mask and Alfred pretended to scold you while giving you a fist bump. The Boy Wonder was grinding his teeth.

— Then, a miracle happened. Well, really it was a traumatic experience that Bruce would have to pay for more sessions with your therapist but still was a miracle in the end.

— In another one of his crazy schemes, Joker decided to target Bruce Wayne again, but this time, the newly discovered heirs to Wayne Enterprises, at least, that's what the media was referring to you as.

— He hired some goons to abduct you and Damian from your school and hid you both in one of his many secret hideouts around Gotham. And Joker, never one for subtlety, of course, decided to send out a televised message to Brucie Poosie, a name disturbingly similar to Joker's nickname for Batman. He'd addressed that later.

— Your father and siblings immediately jumped into action of course and started searching the entire city, checking all of Joker's known hideouts and connections. Only, Joker had apparently taken some inspiration and notes from Riddler because while he was busy taunting and trying to shake down Bruce Wayne for everything he could, he was leading Batman and his little birdies (his nickname for all the Robins) on a wild goose chase.

— The more and more time went by, the more and more they got worried for you. Of course, they were worried for Damian as well, but he was used to these kinds of situations. This was your first (and frankly, probably not last) kidnapping.

— At first, you weren't scared (much). No offense, but, Joker always kind of seemed like a joke to you. The fact his whole persona was based on a mad clown really didn't help. You had also never really watched the news or heard people talking about some of the horrible things he had done. You always just heard the part when Batman swooped in and kicked his ass.

— Well, if you made it out of this, you'd definitely have nightmares and a new fear of clowns to add to your list. May have to start considering two-hour sessions with your therapist.

— But, to your surprise, Damian had helped to keep you calm and protected you from seeing more of Joker's 'fun side'. Whenever the clown or one of his thugs got a little too close to your holding cell for your brother's liking, he always placed himself in front of you, just in case they decided to fuck around and find out so he could be ready.

— When the green-haired villain went on one of his disturbing tangents or talked about his plans for you two in case your father didn't follow through with his demands, Damian would cover your ears. Of course, it didn't do much, but the sentiment was appreciated. Your older brother, despite his 'quirks', actually did have a caring side to him. It just took being kidnapped by a psychotic clown and your lives being in terrible danger for it to show. Go figure.

— Of course, your father and siblings eventually tracked you and Damian down and came to your rescue. From what you had seen from your father and brothers in their fighting style, they always were more smart and sneaky with their attacks and ambushes. Jason was more of the impulsive and brash one who liked to rush in, but he grew more into the Bat's style over time. Especially seeing how the last time he rushed into something concerning the Joker, well, there's no need to go down that road.

— But, nope. This time, Bruce was not forgiving with his 'justice' towards Joker. Honestly, you and your siblings were a little worried that Bruce would break his number one rule on no killing for the first time, but he still held back. In the middle of all the chaos, you'd even managed to surprise Damian when some goons tried to surprise you and him after he broke you guys out of the cell. And who said video games couldn't teach you a thing or two about fighting?

— Damian was impressed, and more than curious to see what kind of games you were playing that taught you the fastest way to incapacitate a 200-pound man with a few jabs and well-placed strikes. That or you were insanely lucky to have a man who could barely defend himself against a child. Either way, a win was a win for you.

— Obviously, things changed a bit when you two returned home.

— For one, your family became a lot more clingy and overprotective than before. And that was saying something considering they had a tracker stitched into your backpack without your knowledge before. There was a rotation between the brothers of who would drop off and pick you up from school. This was already a rule before, but now, it was just even more intense with you not being able to leave the manor or go anywhere without someone from the family accompanying you. Bruce started training you in self-defense and combat, with regulations and supervision from your brothers so he didn't make the same mistakes he made with them with you.

— You appreciated it all, and it definitely did help you feel a bit safer (in the beginning), but, really one of the most shocking changes not just to yourself, but everyone else was Damian's change in attitude toward you. Of course, he wasn't outright hugging you or anything crazy like that, but he was more cordial and almost friendlier you could say.

— It was also very apparent Damian had developed a similar protective stance toward you. You being the only non-vigilante in the family meant you kept an aura of innocence and light-heartedness the rest of your family had lost a long time ago. They were more than determined to make sure you kept that light and never lost it like they did so many years ago.

— Thankfully, your time with Joker wasn't anything too traumatic. Joker was actually on one of his schemes for once and didn't do anything too drastic. But, that didn't stop your brother from glaring down any suspicious figure who got too close to you for his liking. If you asked to hang out at a friend's house, Damian took over Bruce's role of asking for details on your friend, they're parents, where you'd be going, and all that extra stuff. If you were aware of the fact that Damian was running full background checks on your friends and their families whenever you went to hang out with them, you pretended not to notice.

– Bruce also had a teary moment of being a proud father seeing how Damian was showing already to be just like him. Which, if we're being honest, was actually a terrifying thought.

— But, it wasn't just Damian who started making an effort to build a more friendly bond between you two. You'd contributed as well. Showing Damian the ways he could learn to let loose and actually be a kid instead of a trained assassin all the time.

— You'd invited him more than once to hang out with you and your friends that you made from school. Hesitant at first at the idea of hanging out with others that weren't you and his family, you managed to convince him when Dick, Jason, and Tim got into one of their own brotherly spats, and Jason decided to start chasing the two around the house with a rag wet with a 'mysterious' substance.

— "Your local comrades quarters it is then." Damian muttered before quickly ushering you out the door with Alfred towing behind since you needed someone to drive you. Damian offered since he kept claiming he knew how, but Bruce still wasn't going for it.

— With your help, Damian actually learned to make friends with kids his own age. He developed hobbies and interests that had nothing to do with anything sharp or pointy (that didn't mean you weren't gonna booby trap your room still just in case).

— He even joined an art club at school and you both decided to enroll in a martial arts club together as well. It'd actually become quite the inside joke between you two. There was one guy in there, Carter, who swore he was the best fighter in the entire school and he could take any one of these 'runts' down, including you and Damian.

— Now, you were still learning and getting comfortable fighting from your lessons with your dad and brothers. When Carter decided to pick on you and Damian as the Wayne brats and challenged you both to a sparring match, boy he did not know what he was getting himself into. Especially when you and your brother looked at each other with the most mischievous evil smirks anyone had ever seen.

— When Bruce got a call from the school later that some parents were looking to try and sue him for the 'extensive harm' his kids did to their kid, he could only raise an eyebrow when you and Damian appeared in his office, smiling like you both were innocent angels.

— "See, Master Bruce. I told you if you'd given it some time, they'd grow on each other." Alfred said to him later that evening.

— Only Bruce was now more concerned than ever. When you and Damian basically hated each other, he only had to worry about the terror and havoc you two would unleash inside the manor. Now, that you were basically best buddies, he'd have to worry about inside and outside the house.

— "I'm gonna be meeting with my lawyers more frequently, aren't I Alfred?" Bruce asked.

— Alfred gave a small chuckle as he patted the man's shoulders. "Oh, Master Bruce, most certainly."

— The butler wasn't wrong.

— You and Damian became like a force that everyone was scared to cross. Even your own brothers were slightly afraid of the kind of shit you two could get into. You'd come up with the crazy schemes and ideas, mapping out any and all details while handling any technological stuff which you had gotten really good at considering the time you spent with Alfred in the Batcave monitoring missions. And, Damian would do the more physical acts required as well as sneaking and sleuthing around if need be.

— Bruce had a meeting with his attorneys at least once a week because of you two.

— You'd even developed your own sense of overprotectiveness over your older brother. Some guy in the art club Damian had joined at school decided to try and pick with him and messed up one of his paintings. Surprisingly, Damian was calm about it and didn't even yell or react at him. Just scoffed at the guy and called him pathetic.

— You did not have a similar reaction.

— When word got around the school and managed to reach your ears, you were for lack of a better word, feeling quite revengeful. The next day at school, that guy became the laughingstock of your entire class when a private photo mysteriously made its way into every student's locker in your grade.

— When Damian found out, he immediately confronted you about it, and you could only smile innocently while feigning ignorance.

— "Why, brother?! How could you even think to accuse me of such a vile act of one's breach of privacy."

— "Y/N..." Damian said.

— "Fine, it was me. But, you have to admit, it is quite a lovely picture. And besides, nobody messes with my brother except me." You smiled.

— Damian only gave a small smile, grabbing you to give you a noogie on the head before walking for the exit of the school to head home. He tried not to let such a small statement get him overly emotional since he'd never really had anyone before you and your family be so caring and defensive over him. Not even his mother.

— The older you two got, the more close you became. At one point, Dick even started to joke that if one of you had gotten involved in some stupid and even dangerous plot, it wouldn't be long before the other got involved as well.

— "You'd even given yourself the nickname of the Blood Brothers since you and Damian liked to remind your other siblings more than once who Bruce's actual kin was, especially Dick whenever he went on one of his tirades about being the first Robin blah blah blah...

— Tim did happen to point out your chosen name's disturbing similarity to one widely known supervillain to which you scoffed in response.

— "Oh please, Brother Blood wishes he had half the brains and looks me and Dami have. Isn't that right, bro?" You said turning to Damian holding out a fist bump.

— "I refuse to get involved in this."

— And given your bond with each other, it was of course all too expected that you would each get involved in each other's love lives. When Damian was sent away to Titans Tower to learn how to be part of a team, you were very pissed at Bruce since he was breaking up you and his team.

— Honestly, Bruce hadn't even considered that, but he was happy and looking forward to the much-needed break from his weekly meetings with his lawyers concerning his sons and their growing stack of attempted lawsuits.

— It was a shock to not only you but to Damian from how you knew when he returned from the tower on a visit, and you asked "Who is she," with your arms crossed and tapping your foot against the ground.

— From your daily calls and messages, you'd picked up quite fast that Damian was crushing on someone, you just didn't know who. You figured it may have been that Tara girl you heard had joined the team, who should consider herself lucky she succumbed to her own fate and not the one you'd planned for her after finding out what she did to your brother and his comrades.

— Superman and Wonder Woman were still campaigning to put you on the League's high-priority watch list after hearing and witnessing some of the things you got up to with and without your brother. So they and everyone else in the League who had the fortune (or misfortune) of meeting you had no qualms that whatever you planned for the blonde earth-powered girl, was nothing short of maniacal.

— When you found out it was Raven after your dad brought you along to Damian's surprise party at the Tower with the rest of the team, you managed to get a chance alone with the half-human, half-demon girl, exchanging some friendly banter and humor. You'd also jokingly (but also not jokingly) warned her that if she hurt your brother in any way shape or form, you'd give her a fate worse than anything her father could ever imagine.

— Weirdly enough, she smiled and gave you a pat on the shoulder.

— "I promise, you don't have to worry about anything from me. And, I can see now why he cares a lot about you. You both protect each other."

— To which you replied with a simple, "He's my brother." Nothing else needed to be said between the two of you. You both were aware of Damian's past, you more than Raven of course, so you knew Damian sometimes needed some extra care and love. You could clearly see that was something she had every intention of making sure he got.

— You approved.

— Now, if only you could get Damian to approve of you and Conner.

— Let's just say, neither your father nor your brothers were anywhere near please when they found out about you and the half-Kryptonian's relationship.

— Dick just couldn't fathom that both of his baby brothers were dating someone from the two teams he helped co-found.

— Jason didn't like that you were dating someone he couldn't really intimidate or threaten the way he wanted since the dude was a literal teen Superman.

— Tim was oddly okay with it at first. But, when you started abandoning him and your regular scheduled gaming sessions for your dates and hangouts with Conner, he was more than ever determined to take down the half-Kryptonian.

— Damian didn't like the idea of you with someone so much stronger than you and could hurt you very easily. To which you pointed out he was dating a half-demon whose father has more than once tried to take over the universe and she almost helped him in succeeding.

— "Not the point, little brother."

— You did have to warn your boyfriend though, because, unlike your other brothers with the exception of possibly Tim, Damian had his own hidden secret cache of Kryptonite for emergency if it was ever needed.

— How you knew?

— Well, after you and Conner announced your relationship, you noticed your father and brother consistently making trips to the vault where all the Kryptonite was stored. And, you once caught your dad making a smaller version of the 'special' jewelry he used to fight Superman that one time, which you figured had to be for Damian.

— "Oh come on! I don't see anyone walking around with crosses and holy water whenever Damian goes out with Raven. But, y'all are ready to pull out all the stops whenever Conner and I even look like we're about to hug!" You yelled at your family.

— Damian stepped forward, placing what was supposed to be a comforting hand on your shoulder.

— "I do apologize brother. But, you should really be blaming Father for this, since I did technically warn him what would happen if he made me a middle child.

— "He did." You heard your father's day from behind.

— Someone really needed to make a documentary about your life.

BONUS:

☀️ | Bat Family | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

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gonnalosemydougdimmadomedamnmind · 8 months

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It's literally impossible to read bat fanfiction because it's all based off those ridiculous fanon tropes that spread like crazy and people take as fucking biblical!!!!! Dick was never a jerk to Jason when he was Robin- they got along because Dick is mature as hell and in one retelling- Jason was a jerk to him!! And when he came back as Red Hood he had literally not a single damn reason to treat Dick like shit! Not a damn one! But he did, didn't he? Cause he's the fucking asshole! How dare you make Dick grovel towards that bastard! Dick has only ever tried to help him! Reached out during his Batman run, over and over! Also- Dick never put Jason in Arkham with Joker just a few cells down???? What the fuck! The Joker and all those other fuckers had been broken out of Arkham by Black Mask already for like the whole run??? Jason went to Arkham after losing to Dick, and Gordon put him in there because One he fucking deserved it, Two the literal circumstances?? And at that point!! Arkham was fucking rehabilitated itself!! By Dick!!! Because Bruce had him go undercover there for real, and Dick was actually tortured there before he got out!! So Dick put in the work to get that shit in order to actually help people!!

Dick never chose Damian over Tim- Tim refused to engage with him over his grief, shut him out, and left of his own devices! He never told Dick his suspicions on why Bruce was alive, never! And Tim is not the one to bring Bruce back either, there's a whole team at that point! Dick learns Bruce is alive through tossing his 'dead' body into a pit and the body comes to life as a zombie. Tim didn't tell him shit! Tim is also not a little crybaby- Damian cutting his line was a fucking blip on the page, he was momentarily shocked, that was it! He put Damian on his Hit List, which is why Damian cut his line. And his first attempt at "murder" is just pushing Tim off the dinosaur statue in the cave, he didn't go all assassin on him! Also Dick wasn't even there the first incident and wasn't told about the second incident. Alfred is the one who gave Damian Robin and Dick accepted him because he saw that Damian needed help! He needed guidance! He didn't fucking fire Tim the way Bruce fired him, and fuck all of you for thinking that Tim or Jason or fucking anyone has more right over Robin than Dick Fucking Grayson! He tried to promote Tim and Tim walked off. How dare yall make Dick fucking grovel towards that bastard!!!

Jason did try to kill all three of them!! Why does everyone just gloss over that like what the fuck??? Why does he get a pass for every shitty thing he's done??? "Bad writing" stfu this is the same dude that without hesitation kills random criminals, people who deal drugs, do you know how many random ass people deal drugs??? Jason doesn't give a single shit about being his own type of hero or saving Gotham his own way, nor do the people think of him as their savior!! Are you people fucking delusional?? I saw a post that said citizens would trust Jason over CASS and I cannot Believe the hallucinations yall are seeing???

It is literally downright impossible to find fics about Dick or Damian or Cass or fucking any of them that doesn't include these literal bullshit fanon takes!!! It's impossible!!! This fandom sucks!!!! You don't even need to go buy the comics, all these popular takes have been debunked right here on tumblr!!!! Also Dick can do literally everything!! He's hypercompetent as hell, die mad about it!! Jason doesn't like Wonder Woman???? Where the fuck did that come from??? Wayne Family Adventures is not real!!! Those people could not BE more out of character!!! Look at Bruce for crying out loud!!! Yall know that man ain't act like that!

Edit: leaving this here in case anyone wonders what my hot take is towards this question I was asked: "have you considered tho, that fanon is more fun..."

Well of course fanon is more fun if you're a fan of Jason or Tim. Fanon actively caters towards those two pasty white boys. Fanon actively shits on Dick and Damian though. And for Dick? He literally never did that shit! It is all made up! It's literal character assassination?? But by the fans?? And for Damian? He was 10!!! He grew up as an assassin! He was actively trying to grow with Dick's help! How can yall see him as the bad guy?? And not the literal bad guy, (Jason), and the 17 teen year old who literally fought him back btw, (Tim), like old boy did not act victimized the way you people portray. And Jesus for Cass? Cass is just a prop in fanon. So what exactly about this should be fun to me? Like seriously.

#dc comics #batman #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #anti jason todd #anti tim drake #anti batfamily fans #fanon bullshit #bat fans suck #i hate this place!!!#cant read anything!!!#bruce wayne #my posts

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dyssonant-skyline · 2 months

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What happened with helluva boss season 2? I decided to pick it up and watch it since its free and I was curious about how the sins were handled. (This is a stream of consciousness rant, but I needed to get it all out.)

I thought the first season was okay, with some episodes being stronger than others, but holy shit it really is the Stolas show now. Striker is doing more assassin work than them. I actually got my hopes up for a mystery plus assassination plot in unhappy campers, shouldn't expect shit around here though.

I don't think I can say anything that hasn't already been said about Stolas. I don't like him. If his relationship with Blitzo was less coercive or less sexual I think I'd like him more? It is impossible to empathize with a guy who is using his power to force someone into sex.

I also felt a bit weird that the show would put something sexual in front of a child character and that was the entire joke.

Like, that's an audience of teens watching Millie and Moxie make out and I assume fuck. Gross, but also just not funny? I don't remember if these are the only instances of it, but two is still two too many imo.

I know I said I wasn't going to comment on vivziepop as a person, but knowing how she treats her staff... its impossible to not conflate her with Mammon. 2 Minute Notice feels like an anthem for her overworked underpaid staff.

I also have opinions on the way a circus and clowns are portrayed in the hellaverse, but I don't think I can really put them into words. I have a friend who is fixated on clowns and clown trivia and idk. After talking to them about different types of clowns most clown characters just ring hollow to me. Especially the fish twins, I don't care what anyone tells me they were NOT clowns.

I don't think I'll incorporate anything from helluva boss into my rewrite, Hellbound Hostel. But I did like a couple of things a lot!!!

Fizz is a pretty cool design and has a palette that is loud while also being appealing. If I ever drew non redesign fanart for these series it would be of him. I think it helps that the majority of his features tie to his backstory in some way. That being said, I'm not crazy about his relationship with Ozzie.

The little metal rings and filigree around angelic weapons is a neat design choice. Good visual storytelling and all.

That's about it... orz If anyone wants to talk abt it with me my askbox is open.

#dys rants #helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical #anti vivziepop #vivziepop criticism #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique

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kittycat-in-the-dark · 1 year

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*Tim looking tired as shit and being an asshole to everything that breathes near him*

Jason: Jesus kid, what train hit you?

Tim: *irritated* Don't call me kid. And the train that hit me is this stupid lead that I got stuck on for 3 days! I need to find that fucker-

Jason: Wow! Slow down a little...

Tim: I CAN'T SLOW DOWN IF I SLOW DOWN I AM GONNA SLEEP. IF I SLEEP I WON'T CATCH THIS VILLAIN AND GOTHAM WILL BE DOOMED. AND IF GOTHAM IS DOO- *Tim falls asleep mid sentece*

*Tim wakes up after hitting his head on the Batcomputer*

Tim: *looks at Jason* What was I saying...

Jason: *getting out of his shock* ...That you either need 3 full days of sleep or a DynaPep with 3 shots of espresso??...

Tim: *squinting his eyes* Ya... that... that sounds about right...

Jason: Which one? The healthy option or the vigilante no sleep version?

Tim: *looking annoyed at Jay*

Jason: *stares back confused as to why Tim looks at him like he offended his honor or something*

Tim: *long sigh* Okay, fine. Give me that drink.

----------one super energetic drink later-----------

*Bruce, Dick, Jason, Damian, Steph and Cass stare at a Batcave's wall full of detailed plans to take down all the rogues in Gotham as Tim continues to write and loudly murmur to himself*

Steph: How... how did this happen?

Tim: *louder* THIS IS PERFECT!! *cackle* AND THEN I AM GONNA TAKE OVER THE LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS AND RA'S WON'T EVEN SEE ME COMING... HE HAS TO PAY ME FOR THAT SPLEEN THAT I LOST IN HIS STUPID MISSION TO TAKE DOWN THE SPIDERS!! AND THEN I WILL EXPAND MY PLANS TO ALL THE JUSTICE LEAGUE LEVEL ROGUES AND I WILL FINALLY WIN THIS STUPID NEVER ENDING WAR AGAINST CRIME ONCE AND FOR ALL!! *laughs like a maniac*

Jason: *still staring at Tim like the others* Umm... I gave him a juiced up coffee to help him get over a case that was giving him trouble... he found the guy he was looking for not even 2 hours later, then returned mumbling to himself and started researching and writing on the walls like a maniac... I thought the kid had coffee before... right?

Alfred: *that appeared besides them without anyone notecing* That is true... but usually Master Tim takes what could be considered small doses of caffeine diluted in some tea. Not an entire cup of almost pure caffeine, I am afraid...

Jason: Well, shit...

*Tim continues to rant and make plans about basically world domination at that point... for about 2 more hours until he just falls off the Dinosaur where he was making his "Ultimate Speech to the World"

The other Batcave residents just hear a thud and run to see Jason on the ground under the Dinosaur with a sleeping Tim on his chest*

Jason: *sounding super exhausted after he followed Tim around during all of his crazy talk and final "Ultimate Speech"* Never let me give Tim a coffee ever again... EVER!! *and he collapses into sleep too*

*The others just nod to Jay's previous statement and Bruce picks up his boys to put them to a proper sleep, thinking about how to deal with Tim's crazy plans plastered all over the Batcave*

#just wanted to write something fun lol #also I wrote this because Tim isn't actually that used or addicted to coffee in canon #and drinks caffeine only when he needs it and in teas that Alfred makes him #so I just thought that if Tim were to drink a stronger coffee he will just go insane for a couple of hours until he collapses lol #tim drake #jason todd #batfam #batbros #dc comics #dc headcanon #incorrect batfamily quotes #alexa talks here

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thehighladywrites · 8 days

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wait did you nerd azriel would be so into anime? and bimbo reader luvssss dressing up so she’d totally go to conventions and all the other dudes are like 🤤😖 and confused how this nerd got his hot gf to cosplay with him

and he’s just so happy that they’re matching AND U KNOW SHE GOES ALL OUT ON HER FITS

omg he would be the type to watch naruto, dragon ball z, one punch man and neon genesis evangelion and claim they’re top tier. like he watches the old version of anime, for example old fruit basket or old hxh and say that old anime have better taste and that the new gen shit is just crazy.

he’d love to go to small conventions with you dressed aswell. If he’s meliodas then ur elizabeth or if he’s okkotsu yuta then ur maki zenin. so cute omg.

you also start watching anime. and one would think you’d love the sweet, short, girly ones like maid sama, horimiya or sailor moon but no.

You decide to love the most shonen animes ever, turning out JUST like azriel. You start watching assassination classroom, black clover, jjba, aot and just fall in love.

#talkswithamara #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #anon💕#acotar x reader #acotar imagine #azriel #nerd azriel #the sessions series #acotar x bimbo reader #azriel x bimbo reader

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teecupangel · 2 months

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For your consideration: mongoose!Desmond. They're small, cute, stealthy, and fully down to throw hands qiwth a lion if need be. Hides in the hood of whichever Assassin he's accompanying at the time and jump out for attack at the most unexpected moment. Alternatively, Altair gets reincarnated in modern time as Desmond's mongoose, and just takes down the whole Abstergo facility when they dare to kidnap Desmond.

It was illegal to keep a mongoose as a pet in the United States.

That was one of the few laws that Desmond knew he was deliberately breaking.

It wasn’t like he had planned to do it from the start.

It had been a strangely freezing morning. Desmond was walking back to his apartment after a grueling 2 hours overtime that he was sure his boss wouldn’t include in his paycheck, citing some shit like “it’s because you’re too damn pretty that those drunks tried to beat each other up for your ass, Derek.” and tell him that it’s only right that he be the one to clean up the mess those two had done after hearing last call.

If he didn’t knew that his boss had the sex drive of a corpse and liked the company of dogs more than people, he would have considered his words as sexual harassment instead of the usual way his boss spoke.

But Desmond knew him long enough and has already made plans to be 2 hours late for his next shift. He’s going to tell his boss that “you don’t need to pay me for my 2 hours overtime since I deducted it from this shift” and his boss wouldn’t have the grounds to dock his pay.

Yes.

It was the ‘perfect’ revenge for his stingy rude boss.

Desmond had just rounded the corner that would lead to the back of his apartment, preferring to enter through the back than the front due to both the stairs being nearer there and also because the back door was less conspicuous.

Years away from the Farm and he still held the paranoia trained into him.

God, he was pathetic.

At that moment, Desmond looked up as he sighed.

And got smacked by some kind of falling fur.

He named the mongoose Altaïr.

To be more exact… the mongoose named himself, using the letter magnets Desmond placed on his small ref. There was only one ‘A’ so the mongoose had to drag the ‘A’ at the start of the name to the empty space between T and I repeatedly. He even went as far as use the ‘:’ magnet to form those two dots above the ‘I’.

Desmond had to look up on his phone how to properly pronounce his name.

Desmond had never had a pet nor did he even know that Altaïr was a mongoose.

He had assumed that Altaïr was some kind of really intelligent pet that someone in his apartment stole from some rich family or something. (No one in this apartment complex would have the money to buy an intelligent pet like Altaïr)

He tried to ask Altaïr who his masters are or if we can remember where he was taken from.

The bland unimpressed look Altaïr gave him made Desmond realize two things:

(1) he was being stupid asking a complicated question to Altaïr regardless of how smart he was and

(2) Altaïr was an asshole

That was fine by Desmond to be perfectly honest.

Altaïr stayed in his apartment and did his own hunting for food. He seemed to only slip inside the small opening on the window that Desmond purposely left for him whenever he wanted to relax or… use Desmond’s computer.

… not that Desmond saw Altaïr use it.

He just had a feeling that Altaïr was using his old wheezing whenever it was turned on laptop that he got for cheap from his bootlegged DVD dealer at the back of the nearest Seven Eleven from his apartment.

Desmond could probably check if Altaïr was truly using it by checking the browser history or something but…

Ignorance was bliss.

Desmond really didn’t want to find out just how scarily smart Altaïr was and suffer the consequences.

So really…

When the power was cut in the Abstergo facility where he was being held, he didn’t immediately think of Altaïr.

Honestly, he had this weird feeling that his ‘roommate’ Altaïr might be his ancestor Altaïr but that was crazy talk.

So he ignored that gut feeling.

Then Vidic got a call from someone who told him that someone had locked down the security room AND all the exits.

Then everything went silent.

He was still strapped in the Animus. He didn’t even know that the Animus had cuffs that could slide around his wrists and ankles (and fucking neck, what the fuck, Vidic) until Vidic pushed something in the Animus itself the moment the blackout happened and Desmond was still groggy from being forcibly kicked out of the Animus.

He heard Lucy whisper that someone was using the emergency sleeping gas and it was spreading throughout the facility.

Desmond was just going “???” because who the fuck added sleeping gas in their goddamn building as an ‘emergency’???

Then…

The laptop on Vidic’s station started making this beeping sound and Vidic walked towards it.

He had a moment to say that someone had taken over their computers (Desmond thought they were having a blackout??? What the ever living fuck was happening???) before the computer exploded and the shards from his monitor hit Vidic on the face and neck.

Desmond wasn’t sure if it was life threatening or not but Lucy was panicking as she rushed towards him.

And Desmond heard the soft sound of something creaking. He looked at where the sound came from and noticed the vent on the floor was now open.

And Altaïr the freakishly intelligent mongoose quietly scampered towards the Animus, looking over Desmond for a moment before scuttling towards the section of the Animus where-

The cuffs keeping Desmond still slid off and Desmond sat up.

They both stared at each other.

And Desmond finally sighed as he admitted, “Okay… you’re no ordinary animal, are you?”

Altaïr gave him the same bland unimpressed expression he had given him all those years ago.

And Desmond realized that it looked exactly how his ancestor would look whenever he heard something stupid from one of the novices.

Well…

Shit.

#if you gave me the option to make a mongoose altaïr #i will take it nonny XD #the derek is not a typo #as usual of my pre-canon desmond ideas #his go to fake name is derek milton #assassin's creed #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad

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gatitties · 8 months

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hiii!! can I request some HCs for bonten!Mikey x Mother!Assassin!Reader where Reader and Mikey have a 17 years old secret love child. The scene is Bonten Executives and Assassin!Reader is eating in just yk a local ramen shop and Mikey is asking Reader that he wants to become a father to their child ykyk bcs reader kept it a secret that she was pregnant and raised the child all by herself T__T and when the school called Reader bcs their child stabbed a male student with scissors in their school, Sanzu said "I guess she took her mother's talent. you're in that age too, weren't you?" and reader just went batshit crazy bcs reader doesn't want her child to become like her </3 so reader threw a knife that got stuck in a wooden wall just close enough to make Sanzu's neck bleed a little and after that reader said "If you ever say that again, I'll kill you with the most dullest knife in the world." and then reader left. I WANT TO SEE MIKEY'S AND OTHER EXECUTIVES' REACTION TOO TO THIS HAPPENINGS IF THEY'RE GONNA GO CRAZY TOO OR WHATEVER 🤩🤩 thank u so much!

─Bonten!Mikey x mother!assassin!reader

─Summary: You don't like that your kid looks like you because you don't have the best manners or work

─Warnings: none

─ You weren't proud of your fame as a assassin in the underworld, but work was work.

─ Several years ago you got involved with the leader of Bonten, a one-night stand ended up being something and you started working as an executive for your boyfriend.

─ Although in a 'small accident' you ended up having a child, you weren't sure if Mikey would like to be a father considering his position in society, and despite the fact that you didn't have the best reputation either, you decided to take it on the sly.

─ How you managed to hide your child for seventeen years is a feat knowing the people you associated with, but you were grateful that they didn't poke their noses into your business and that Mikey was a busy man.

─ Of course, you were very lucky during all that time, but it came to an end and he decided to confront you for hiding from him that he had a child.

─ Although you had an argument about that, you reached a halfway point, Mikey wanted to take care of his child and get to know them, however you denied that your little baby knew the dark side of both.

─ Your kid was a little skeptical at first with their 'new' father, but they started to get along after a few months, becoming a relatively normal family if you ignored all the corpses you both carried on your back.

─ Of course, the other executives got to know your kid because it was more difficult to hide that the leader of Bonten was more absent, so now your kid had a few uncles.

─ Now… when they called from school because your 'baby' had fought, rather stabbed another child with scissors, you didn't know how to react, Mikey was the one who took charge of going to school while you stayed at home.

─ At that moment you were all eating, since you had invited them to your house, everyone listened but decided that they had nothing to comment until Sanzu had to open his mouth. "I guess they took their mother's talent, you're in that age too, weren't you?"

─ It took you a few seconds to analyze what the drug addict had dared to say, everyone knew that you didn't like that your kid was involved with the shit they did and you lost it.

─ You grabbed the first sharp object you had at hand, a knife, and you threw it in such a way that Sanzu's neck had a millimeter cut, the knife went past, sticking into the wall. "If you ever say that again, I'll kill you with the dullest knife in the world."

─ The table was silent except for Sanzu's complaints when being lightly treated by Kakucho, everyone looked at each other deciding to shut their mouths knowing that you were upset.

─ The Haitani brothers were trying not to burst out laughing at seeing how you humiliated their co-worker, Mochizuki, Takeomi and Kokonoi were amazed with your aim since they had never seen you doing your job, this scene would definitely be something to talk about if word gets out.

─ The tension in the room didn't go away until you saw your boyfriend and kid appear at the door, although now it was your turn to give your child a talk for having done that.

─ Mikey smiled when he found out what you had done, he wasn't angry about his child's attitude, he simply asked if they had won the fight or not (the result was obvious but he wanted to check it).

─ No one dared to comment on what happened that day and you punished your kid for a week.

#tr #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #fem reader #request #assassin reader #bonten #bonten x reader #mikey x reader #mikey #bonten mikey x reader #mother reader #sfw #headcanons #reader insert

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igotanidea · 1 year

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five years later : Jason Todd x fem!reader

the graphic is not mine, found it on Pinterest, all credit goes to the author.

Another piece of Cheshire!reader!verse aka what happened earlier, when Cheshire (Y/N) found out Jason was not in fact dead.

Other parts are: Cheshire cat and That damn gala and can be read regardless.

Warnings: all of it. Smut. Insecurities and mentions of scars. Angst. Mentions of Jay flings and Y/N unsatisfying relationships. Fluff at the end. MINORS DNI!

Loosely inspired on the song "Lost in the fire" by The Weeknd.

The air in the room was filled with so much tension and palpable electricity that the slightest spark could set it able. Y/N and Jason were sitting on the opposite sides, eyeing each other. She was suspicious, cold and unwavering. He was a bit nervous, shy and unsure what to say.

“So….” she started crossing her arms over chest “ you were dead”

“Yeah.”

“Did you get bored?” she mocked

“What?” the visible hurt in his eyes did not make her change this tone. She was angry, she felt betrayed and most definitely were not going to let him get away with everything he has done easily. “How could you….?”

“did they kick you out of Hell?”

“Y/n…..”

“No, Jace. Did they kick you out? I bet even the devil didn’t want you after he learned you played a trick like that on your family and …. friend….” She hesitated on the last word. Honestly, she had no idea if they were friends? Lovers? Frenemies? Before everything turned to shit they kissed a few times and were trying to become something more but now she wasn’t ready if what they had before was still on.

“Well that is far from a warm welcome I was expecting…..” he looked down a bit depressed. If she did not want him he truly had nowhere else to go. Bats rejected him, he was not going to turn to Bruce and she was his only hope. Apparently gone now.

“Are you serious?” her tone was cold as ice and so was her gaze “it’s been five freaking years, Todd” oh, shit, she was using his last name now. Silent fury, the worst kind. “You were dead. And they I just get a call from Dick with the most mysterious message : he’s alive. And apparently he has been for a while now. Tell me, Red Hood, because that is who you are now, right? Was is fun? Was it worth it?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like? Go on, I’m being merciful here, you have one chance to explain it and then I don’t want to see you again. “

“I was dead” he sighed deeply “and then…. Then I got resurrected.” He sighed deeply knowing well enough she was not going to believe him

“Don’t give me this religious shit about bringing people back from the dead” she rolled her eyes and stood up in frustration

“Y/N….” he raised to her height as well, now his 6’4 figure towering over her “please, you have to believe me, I’m telling the truth. There’s this place called Lazarus pit. I… I was thrown there and …. came back.” He absentmindedly reached for her hands but she moved away.

“Yeah, I heard a legend about it. But sure as hell you did not crawl there by yourself. Who helped you? Was it someone I know?” Jason muttered something incoherently “sorry? What was that? And don’t try to lie, you know I am a human lie detector.”

“Thalia al Ghul.” He mumbled and his cheeks became a bit flushed

“Shut up!” she let out a desperate laugh.

“It’s true.”

“Oh, I know, I see it in your eyes. And on your whole face. God damn it! Thalia Al Ghul. Like Dami’s assassin mother?” still laughing she raised an eyebrow making sure she put the two dots together and hummed in satisfaction when he nodded “that is crazy. Wait till I tell him……”

“Don’t you dare!” he yelled moving closer to her.

“Oh, there you are. Not so quiet and repentant anymore. Good, nice to know you still got problems with anger management. Now, one more thing. Should I tell Damian that you and his mother actually had an affair?” she smirked with venom in her voice “that you….”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!!” he was now even closer but she was the one who always liked to play with fire and push on his buttons.

“That you fucked his mother? Because you did, didn’t .....?”

Before she could finish this sentence Jason had her pressed against the wall, his chest moving up and down in frustration, panting

“Auch!”she mocked, but the impact really was painful even if she did expect it.

“You are a brat. Always have been. Guess nothing changed for the last five years.”

“Or maybe your time with League of Assassins exacerbated your temper? I mean you always had issues but now it’s seems completely out of control. Didn’t they teach you how to keep your cool?”

“How do you know about….?” He moved back, surprised with her words. He did not tell anyone what he was doing during the last years.

“Come on. Thalia? You just said it yourself. If she helped you, you definitely stayed there. It’s simple dots connecting. Oh, my god. That would be a spit and disgrace for Bruce if he ever were to find out! I can literally imagine his face right now.” She laughed hard, not moved by the fact that only a second earlier she was brutally pinned against the wall. She was a vigilante, things like that did not bother her.

“Will you just shut up!?” he yelled in frustration.

“Don’t worry. I won’t be the one to tell him. That’s one thing I can do for you” she smirked “Cheshire knows exactly how to keep a secret and yours is safe, all right? Now will you just calm down?”

“How do you expect me to calm down?” his gaze fixed on her and for the first time in a long, long time she was completely frozen by the look in his eyes “Do you know what you are doing to me?” he groaned

“Jason……” her eyes went wider and wider when he started moving towards her again and soon had her cornered. “Fuck!” she hissed. There was nowhere to run now and she mentally facepalmed herself for not taking precautions. She was not scared. Jason could be angered and violent, but he would never hurt her, right? Despite that rational part of her brain, telling her that it was still her Jace, her vigilante instincts got the best of her when she ducked under his arms and moved to the other side of the room.

The sound, the groan that came from the back of his throat when she wriggled out of his reach was not human. God, she always knew how to get on his nerves. So why the fuck did he still love her? Why did he want her? Now. Immediately. He wanted her under him, writhing and moaning his name in indefinite pleasure as he would go down on her, getting exactly where she needed him and giving her everything. He wanted to feel her against him, caressing her perfect body, showing her how much he missed her for those last years. He needed to feel her and her touch on every scar he got from his fights. He wanted to kiss every place, every square centimeters of her smooth skin, her neck, collarbone, her breasts and belly button. He wanted her lips and those sweet sounds he knew she would make. He wanted to make her feel so fucking good. He craved to assure her that she was the only one on his mind. Ever. He needed to hear her whisper that she was his. He needed to know that she loved him too, that he was the only one for her. Fuck! He saw it in her eyes and if he was someone else he wouldn’t even hesitate just took her right there, right now, without asking, without waiting for her to say yes, just getting what he wanted. That was what Red Hood would do. However, she was still his sweet, beloved Y/N. Unruly and challenging but still he never wanted to break her. And just to her, he didn’t want to be the vigilante, the anti-hero. He wanted to be Jason Todd, the boy she knew before, hoping this would be enough and that she wouldn’t turn him away. Oh, he was getting such dirty thought…. The fact that he spaced out did not pass her

“Jaybird?” his eyes got a bit glassy when her voice switched from Cheshire mode to concerned words of Y/N as she used his nickname “Jay?”

His lust filled eyes landed on her, pupils blown unnaturally, dark and with so much need and …..love. she involuntarily took a deep breath and just by seeing her like this, now completely vulnerable, with chapped lips, so innocent and frightened made him hard.

“Jay, why are you looking at me like that?” her voice trembled. Was she scared of him? That is not what he wanted. Slowly, carefully not to made her run away from him again he took a step forward. And then another and other, getting braver when she did not move, eyes searching his face “why are you…..?”

“You know I want you…..” he whispered “I always wanted you. Even when I was with…. anyone else, there was only you.” his face was now inches apart from hers and he could tell she wanted him too and were struggling to keep her composure and self-control. That was what she was learned, never give up control.

“Wait, you thought about me when you were having sex with other women? Ugh. That is seriously messed up and sick.”

“Y/N….” he whispered against her skin, brushing his nose over hers “You know I’ve always loved you…. I know I messed up, but give me one chance to fix it.”

“Just…. Just one chance.” She gasped and he leaned to kiss her but she put a finger on his lips “What do you want to do to me?”

“I want to fuck you. Slow. With the lights on.”

“Ja…. Jay….” She whimpered “I…. I don’t…..” who would have thought that tough and independent Cheshire would suddenly become so shy and embarrassed because of physical intimacy.

“Don’t worry, kitten. I will make you feel good, I promise. I will devour you….” he whispered and finally, finally their lips met when, surprisingly, she was the one who pulled him down to her by his neck. Oh, she still wanted control. Even when he grabbed her hips, lifting her up with no effort and wrapping her legs around his waist making her feel how hard he was for her. She was still fighting for dominance when he bit on her bottom lip and his tongue sneaked into her mouth making her moan so sweetly. She was still resistant when his hands moved under her shirt, up, up, to her breast, cupping and massaging it gently through the thin material making her whole body shiver.

“Jay….” She gasped when his mouth moved down her neck to the collarbone, at the same time pulling the shirt over her head.

“Fuck, I love you…..” he bit on her pulse point, definitely leaving the hickey. He wanted to mark her whole. “I so fucking love you.” he pulled away only to take her in. Her flushed cheeks, her parted lips, her wide, innocent eyes.

“I love you too Jace. But don’t stop.” she moaned

“I have no intention to do so, baby. I will take my time with you. We have so many years to make up for…..” he carried her towards the bedroom, throwing her onto the bed, losing his own shirt on the way and climbing up to hover above her body. All his scars were now visible and she gently, seductively, but also lovingly traced her fingers over them making him close his eyes. He was still insecure about how his body looked.

“My poor boy. My wonderful boy…..” she whispered “you’ve been through so much, haven’t you?” her hand travelled up to his cheek cupping it “Jace, look at me….”

“I hate them…..” he whispered

“Well I already love them. I love you. I don’t care about those scars. You are beautiful. So, so, beautiful. Each part of you….”

He could not hold it back any longer when he leaned in to kiss her with all passion he had. He wanted her closer, he wanted her to feel the love and longing and every emotion he had for her.

“Tell me what you want, Y/N. I’ll do everything, just tell me.” He kissed her neck again as she played with the hair at the nape of the neck.

“I…. Can we turn the light off?”

“Why?”

“Well, you are not the only one who’s insecure. And…. And I am not as experienced as you, so…..”

“Fuck. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes now. You are a goddess Y/n. I’m gonna show you” his hands moved down and behind her back unclasping her bra and as soon as her breasts were free he started kissing them with feather light kisses switching between left and right one. His tongue circling over her sensitive nipples as she was already falling apart. “Hmmm” he grinned moving down “we’ve only just began and you’re already a mess. “

“Jay….. please, please…..”

“Don’t worry, princess, I’ll take you over the edge.“ she shivered and barely noticed when he moved down her pants and underwear pulling her legs apart. “so wet for me.”

“Come on!” she urged him, arching her back and moving her hips up to signalize him what she wanted.

“As you wish.” He dropped in between her thighs immediately hitting the perfect spot. She moaned and he grinned “there then?”

“Yes! Fuck! Yes, Jace, please, oh, please, please. I need you…..” she threw her head back and he sped up wanting her to cum, to feel all the pleasure.

“Tell me you’re mine, babygirl. Tell me who do you belong to?”

“You! You Jace! Please, fuck! I’m so close, so fucking close!”

In some other circumstances he would tease her more, but the way she squirmed and begged for release was too much. He just couldn’t keep edging his treasure. She deserved the best. A couple more licks and gentle circles on her clit and a few words “come for me babygirl” and she was over the edge, her vision turning white, her whole world limited to him. Jason. Jace. Jay. Her Jay. It took her a few seconds to get back on earth and the first thing she saw was his smiling face.

“Was that good? Was I good?”

“Fuck, Jay. That was… that was… fuck. I don’t even want to know who taught you that, but you were just phenomenal…..” she gasped locking her hands on his neck making him lean his forehead on hers “I want more…..” she closed her eyes.

“Needy now, huh?”

“Can you blame me? I bet you got enough stamina to keep me satisfied.” She smirked

“’Is that a challenge?”

“Yes.”

“You know I never back down from such. You want me inside you, baby?” he started unzipping his pants and soon they were on the floor along with his boxers, his cock hard and swollen springing out.

“Oh fuck, you’re huge…. I don’t know if….”

“You can do it. I’ll go slow, all right? Just say a word and I stop. No need to rush.” He assured her, capably putting on condom.

“O…ok.”

“Good….” He lined himself against her entrance but once again she stopped him from taking any action.

“Jace…..” she whispered looking anywhere but on him finally making him grab her chin and force her eyes on him

“Second thoughts?”

“No. No, of course not. I…. I trust you.” he melted when she said that, his hands started to shake, heart swelling with love and affection. “I just…..”

“Tell me what you want, baby. What do you want to do? I’m listening.”

“I want on top.”

“Getting confident, now?” he grinned “Can’t lie, I like that.”

“I just…. I’m not sure if I know how to…..”

“You never….? Wait, weren’t there any men?” he muttered and regretted that a second later. If there were anyone else in her life, touching her and loving her he did not want to know.

“A few. But…. Most of the times, even after…. I just had to take care of myself……” she tried to look down but he didn’t let her, softly caressing her cheek.

“You poor thing. Neglected and kept unsatisfied by a bunch of losers. We’ll make sure it will never happen again. You….” he whimpered “you trust me?”

“Yes.” No hesitation in her voice. Zero inhibitions.

“I’ll make it worth it.” He pulled her up, making her sit on his lap so he could prepare her for his huge cock, his fingers circling her clit at first and soon getting inside. One. Two. three fingers were moving inside her and she was moaning and saying his name like a prayer. “You think you’re ready?”

“I…. Yes. Just… help me with it….”

“Come here” this time it was his turn to groan and moan when he grabbed her hips and guided her onto his cock slowly moving her down. “Fuck! So good, so tight!” she whimpered when he bounced a bit due to his excitement “sorry, baby” a little kiss on the lips “you’re good?”

“I think so….” she smiled shyly and looking more beautiful than ever

“God, you’re so hot. So beautiful. Do you even know it?” he said absolutely hypnotized by her widened eyes, messy hair and lips swollen from the kisses.

“All red and sweaty and sticky?” she laughed “you can’t be serious, Jay….”

“Look at me, babe.” She slowly lifted head to meet his eyes “You. Are. Fucking beautiful. And I’m so lucky you let me make love to you…..”

“Oh, so now we are making love? I though you said something about wanting to fuck me….”

“Changed my mind. You deserve so much more than just fucking.” his grip on her hips tightened when he pulled her closer and she moaned “That’s it baby. Show me how good you feel.”

“Jay…. I want to….”

“Ride me?”

“Yes...." She threw her head back in ecstasy.

“Go on then. You’re in control. Use me. Take what you need.”

“I don’t know…..”

“Just do what you feel like. Don’t worry about me. It’s all about you now, ok?”

“Mhmmmmm…. Ok.” She started to move her hips, slowly, testing the waters. That was new, and she did not want to hurt him or embarrass herself by doing something stupid. However soon it started getting more and more natural and easier.

“You’re doing so good, baby, so good” Jason praised her, fighting the urge to guide her hips to move a bit faster. “you can pick the pace up, its…. Ah, fuck!”

“Enjoying yourself?” she smirked, much more confident now, as she observed his blissful face and his half closed eyes and some sort of pride crept on. She was doing it to him.

“Oh, you little tease.” He moved and she bounced on his cock, squealing when she lost balance and quickly grabbed his neck for support “you first.” He started moving his hips against her, and the heat started building inside her. “close?”

“Mhm. So close. You?”

“Yeah.”

“Together?”

“Always.”

“Come for me baby boy” she used the same sentence as he did before and with one final snap of their hips, she was sent over the edge, feeling his cock twitch inside her.

“Fuck!” he panted, holding her closer not ready to pull out. “I should…..”

“No…. hold me like this. Just for a while…..” she sneaked her arms around him clutching to his chest and his heart nearly jumped out of his body “I missed you.”

“Well, who am I to deny you this little koala moment?”

“koala?” she chucked against his skin, her laugh so beautiful

“Sorry, I forgot. You’re a kitten.”

“Not just any kitten. Cheshire. I can play with your mind….”

“You don’t even have to try. You already made me crazy for you. " He kissed her temple lovingly. "Now, let me clean you up.” He pulled out, removed and threw away the condom and collected a cloth to clean her up from her own juices. “You have no idea how I missed you.”

“I’m hoping you suffered through the fact you knew I was alive. I was living in grief but in belief I would never get to see you or touch you or…. be more than friends. Cause you know, your death left us in a very ambiguous relation.”

Jason lied on his back, sighing deeply.

“Come here” he urged her and the girl put a head on his chest, tracing patterns on his abdomen, while he run a hand up and down her arm “now you got me back. And if you want to…..”

“Sh. Don’t.” she silenced him “We don’t need to have that conversation now. Let’s just live in the moment for a while. Blissful, peaceful moment before we put a tag on it. And before we figure out how to reconcile my work with your family and you solo Red Hood killing spree. Is that all right with you?"

“Perfectly.”

“Perfectly perfect than….” She muttered slowly drifting off. In his arms. Where she always belonged.

584 notes · View notes

showtoonzfan · 9 months

Note

Any thoughts on the pitch bible for HB?

I remember seeing it a long while ago and holy shit it was such an embarrassment lol, I cannot believe she actually wrote all that and showed it to studios/other people. It’s screams edge-lord galore and she clearly has no idea how to create a pitch bible, or at least create something studios would be interested in.

This goes for how she describes the characters too, I rest my case when I said that she had no idea on what she wanted in store for the characters cause she only saw them as one thing, but it also shows how she clearly wanted this show to be about edgy assassins and nothing else. Blitz is the crazy goofy boss who “loves his employees deep down”, Millie is the killing machine wife, Moxxie is the straight man guns expert, and Loona is LITERALLY described as a “lazy bitch”, (man Viv, you really know how to tell people which character is your favorite and which isn’t) but yeah this show was NEVER meant to be taken seriously and it especially shows since Stolas isn’t even included in this pitch Bible, bro was never supposed to be a main character.

I will say the only thing I wish we could have gotten was the old premise regarding Blitz. Beforehand he was basically obsessed with the fact that he never killed this mysterious target from his past that would have caused him a more successful life had he did, and it was also the only thing that got under his skin. While this is very vague, I would have 100% preferred THIS storyline rather than the shitty soap opera rip-off version of Bojack Horseman that we have today.

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #reply #ask

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parkersbliss · 2 years

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hi! may i request a five imagine set in sissy's farm in s2 where he hates y/n (who is a sarcastic but goofy ver of him) bcs he actually can't grasp the concept of love properly? and when y/n took the bullet for him, it gets really angsty?

Ready | F. Hargreeves

pairing: five hargreeves x reader

wc; 2.5K

warnings: cursing, blood, violence

synopsis: once he realizes you’re gone, five confesses

a/n: no bc the first time I saw this scene?? i was on the floor I was in FEAR

requests: CLOSED

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt list

—

“Uh guys,” Klaus said. “We might have another problem!”

“Ah, shit,” Five said. You follow after him, peeking over his shoulder.

“Who are they?”

“One’s the Handler, and the other is Diego’s girlfriend.”

“Lila, my ex-girlfriend,” Diego corrects.

“You know what? Doesn’t matter. They both look angry,” Luther observed.

“Yeah, well, your brother has that effect on people,” You snort.

Five kicks you in the shin for that. You let out a yelp and glare at him. He grins to himself before walking forward, “All right, I’m gonna go find out what they want. You guys stay here with Vanya and the kid.”

“I’m coming with you, too. Come on,” Diego said, stepping out with Five.

“Me too,” You chimed in, offering Five a small smile. The boy just rolls his eyes at you.

“You just have to follow me everywhere, don’t you?”

“Yup.”

The three of you stop in front of the Handler and Lila, nothing that they were both very unhappy. Except, Lila’s anger was directed more towards Five and not her ex.

“I love the smell of country air, don’t you, darling?” The Handler asked.

“Makes me wanna vomit,” Lilia deadpanned.

Five glances between the two. “What do you want?”

“To watch you suffer,” Lila replied.

You shrug. “Well, don’t we all.”

“What about me?” Diego asked.

“You’re not even worth my wrath.”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “Ouch, downgraded there, buddy.”

“Can you just shut up?” Five sneered, looking at you.

“Not with your dumbass around.”

“Easy, we’re here on official business,” The Handler broke in.

Five turns back to her. “And what business is that?”

“As the head of the commission, I’ve decided to eliminate the criminals responsible for the assassination of the former board of directions.”

“Yeah, right,” Diego scoffs. “We didn’t kill the board.”

“Well,” You said, dragging out the L.

“Uh, actually, Diego. That’s not entirely accurate,” Five mumbled, hands in his pockets.

The Handler tilts her head. “You didn’t tell them?”

“What the hell did you two do?” Diego demanded.

“What we had to go to get our family home,” Five said. “Until someone reneged on our deal.”

“Somebody wouldn’t have reneged on the deal if someone could’ve met a simple deadline. Alas.”

“You set us up to fail!”

“You set yourselves up to fail, friend — you and your brothers and sisters. Kind of the running theme of your little life, isn’t it?” The Handler chuckled.

Diego turns to Five with a shake of his head. “Dude, I can’t believe you killed the board of directions. You have no idea how messed up the commission is right now.”

“Messed up? Who’s saying that?”

“Everybody — Christ, even the janitors think it’s going to shit.”

“That’s not all he killed,” Lila suddenly spoke.

“What are you talking about?” Five snapped.

“Don’t play dumb, you prepubescent piece of shit.”

You scoff at her. “Okay, crazy lady, why don’t you shut your mouth? Only I get to talk to him like that.”

Five raises his eyebrows at you. He’s not sure if he should be offended or flattered by what you said. Though, he goes with offended because it came out of your mouth, and anything you say is stupid.

Like your stupid face. He hates it. That stupid smile that makes his heart skip a beat and your stupid little half-grin you always give him and only him.

It was disgusting.

For sure.

“Enough. The point is, all of you are going to die today. Hm?” The Handler cut you off.

“Oh,” Diego clicks his tongue. “Well, I don’t like your chances — seven of us, two of you.”

“You know, you’re right. Let’s change that.” The Handler snaps her fingers, and thousands of people blink into view. All of them carry briefcases and guns.

You let out a low breath. “Well, shit.”

“So, what do we do now?”

“Well, we got two choices: Fight and die now or run and die later. Either way, we’re food for worms,” Five said, rolling his shoulders.

“What’ll it be, boys?”

“Wouldn’t mind a few more minutes breathing air through the old windbags.”

“All right. Let’s get this over with, shall we?” The Handler grins, raising a red handkerchief.

“Run!” Five shouts, grabbing your arm and taking you with him.

Diego ducks, using his hands to cover his head. “We’re not gonna make it!”

Five huffs, grabbing Diego’s wrist and suddenly blinking you closer to the barn.

Diego groans. “Five, I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Diego, you puke, and I’ll puke,” You replied, flinching as bullets bounced off the tractor you’d hidden behind.

“What now?” Five questioned, peeking out from behind and ducking as bullets whiz past him.

“We blink into the house?” You suggested, gesturing towards the building with your hands.

Five narrows his eyes at you before grabbing you and Diego and trying to blink you away. His fists turn blue, but nothing happens, just warbling. “Shit, I’m out of fuel. I’m too tired.”

“Go! I’ll… I’ll cover for you two,” Diego said, standing up.

“What?” You shake your head. “Diego—”

But he’s already stepped out, stopping all the bullets and holding them there. “Go!”

Five doesn’t have to be told twice. He grabs your wrist and makes a dash for the building. Once inside, he shoves you under the table following after.

“A little harsh, don’t you think?”

“I just saved your life, dipshit.”

“Didn’t ask you to.”

Five just clicks his tongue. “Well, too bad. You’re welcome to step out and get shot.”

There’s silence, and you frown at Five. “Why do you hate me?”

“I—”

Before Five can answer, a high-pitched ringing sound is heard, and he puts his arm around you.

“What are you doing?” You shout over the noise.

But in seconds, the house begins to shake, and debris falls from the roof as Five covers you with his body. Which was odd considering his earlier comments. A loud crash is heard, and Luther hits the ground with a thud.

Five lets go of you, scrambling from under the table and going towards his brother. “Luther, you all right?”

“Oh, I think I swallowed my tongue,” he moans, rolling over.

Five rolls his eyes. “Luther, if you swallowed your tongue, you wouldn’t be talking, you big moron.”

“That and you’d be choking,” You added, standing beside Five.

He lends a hand to Luther, hauling him up to his feet. “Come on, on your feet.”

Luther groans with the effort but steadies himself. “Hey, what the hell happened? What was that?”

“She must’ve redirected Vanya’s energy wave.”

“Yeah, I know, but how?”

Something cracks above you, and you feel yourself harshly shoved to the side, knocking against the wall as the bricks from the fireplace crash down onto Five.

“Watch out!”

“Five!” You scream, but then Lila enters the room, and you decide to remain tucked in the corner. Five was fine, probably.

Not like you cared… at least, you tried not to.

“What are you?” Luther asked.

Lila cracks her neck. “Someone who wants to kill your brother.”

“Well, that’s understandable. Diego can be a lot to handle.”

“Yeah, I was talking about Five.”

You roll your eyes at their exchange. Who did this lady think she was?

“Him, too,” Luther pauses, “but unfortunately, they’re family, so you’re shit out of luck.”

He swings a punch at her, but she catches it, causing his eyes to go wide.

“How is this possible?”

“Gotta believe in yourself, big boy,” Lila taunts before throwing him out the opposite wall. She follows after him, and you take your chance to get towards Five.

You pull at the bricks, trying not to panic when there’s no sound. “C’mon, Five,” You mumble. Suddenly a hand springs out, grabbing yours, and you yank the boy hard.

He lands on top of you, blood dripping from his head, but otherwise, very much alive. You sigh in relief, blinking harshly.

“Are you okay?” You asked softly as he rolls off of you.

He nods, looking anywhere but you. “I’m fine.”

You frown at his curt reply, but that was Five. What more was there to expect? He made it very clear he didn’t like you.

Something shuffles behind you, and you turn your head to see Lila again.

Five stands up, bringing you with him. “Looking for me?” He asks.

“Five—,” You start. He just looks at you, eyes pleading, and for some reason, you listen. Lila’s eyes flicker towards you, but before anything else happens, Five blinks in front of her.

“Don’t look at her. Look at me,” He said. “You wanna fight? Let’s fight.”

Both disappear in a flash of blue, leaving you alone in the wrecked house. You step through the hole in the wall, looking for the other siblings to see if you can be of help. You rush over to the group of them, lifting a tractor off of Diego.

“Yeah, but she can only mirror one of our powers at a time,” Klaus said with a raised finger.

“Who, Lila?” You asked.

Allison nods. “You sure about that?”

“Okay, I’m not sure about that, but she can only mirror it if we use it first, right? That’s confirmed.”

Everyone mumbles in agreement.

“So we just need to… not use our powers?”

“Maybe, and if we catch her like that, we can question her about her powers and stuff. Maybe she knows more about this than us.”

“Yeah, but first, we need to find her,” Diego said.

“She disappeared with Five,” You said, pointing towards the barn. “And I’m gonna assume those flashes of blue light are them.”

…

“Cause you’re one of us,” Diego spoke, stepping into the barn first. You follow with all his siblings, catching Five’s eye and moving towards him.

“What happened to you?” You asked.

He just scoffs. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Really? Cause you sure look like you had your ass handed to you.”

Five rolls his eyes. “Did you just come here to insult me?”

You shrug. “Why else?”

To check that you’re okay, to make sure you’re alive because I love you.

You miss the slight frown on Five’s lips after you said that.

“You don’t know me, Diego,” Lila spat, knife touching his chest.

Diego just smiles. “Don’t I? I know that we can be your family if you just let us.”

Lila glances around the room, and you offer her a small smile despite her antics to kill Five. Five gives her a tight-lipped smile, stepping closer to you and unknowingly brushing your shoulders together.

It happens in a split second. You heard the first gunshot, and you saw Allison fly to the floor. And yet, in slow motion, you can see the bullet heading for Five, and out of instinct, you shove him harshly to the ground before shortly following.

Pain floods your entire system as warm blood soaks your clothes. You turn your head to meet Five’s eyes as he lays next to you.

“Hey,” You breathed out before coughing up blood.

“You fucking idiot,” Five whispered, crawling towards you.

“I’m dying, and that’s all you can say?” You scoff, trying to cover the hurt. You didn’t know what to expect after saving his life, but it wasn’t that. But knowing he was alive was enough for you. Five was a hero, after all. You just hoped he knew a way to fix this.

Five just shakes his head, a hand brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. “No, I… there’s so much I want to tell you, but I can’t.”

You laugh. “You can’t, or you won’t?”

“I don’t know how.”

“You don’t know how to love?”

Five’s eyes turn glassy as he nods. “I’ve been alone for so long… I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m so sorry. I never hated you. I always—”

“It’s okay, Five,” You cut him off, coughing harshly again as more bullets are heard. Five doesn’t look up to see Lila crumble to the floor.

“You’re crying,” You mumbled, hand finding his. There’s comfort in it, knowing that as you’re dying, Five’s comforting you. He’s holding you. That’s all you really ever wanted.

“I know,” Five admits. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I love you, even if you’re not ready to love me back.”

More tears slip down Five’s face, and he brushes them off your paling cheeks. He doesn’t know what to do. Your breath keeps getting shallower, your eyes don’t stay open anymore, and you just sound like you’re in pain. He wants to tell you everything. He never hated you. He just didn’t know how to love you. Maybe he didn’t want to in case this happened.

He was used to solitude, and he was sure he liked it until he met you.

He needed you.

Five opens his mouth to tell you he’s ready when someone else speaks.

“Oh, good. You’re still alive. Lucky you, you get to see how this all played out.”

The Handler raises her gun at Five, but before anything happens, she’s shot down by Axel. She falls limp by Five’s side, and he turns back towards you.

“(Y/N),” he starts before he realizes you're gone.

He falls back in horror, realizing he never got to tell you he loves you too.

Memories flood his brain, clouding his visions, and he can hear you laughing in some of them, smiling at him, caring for him when he never did the same. You didn’t deserve that. He always knew he loved you, but showing it was so much harder than he expected. But in the thirty seconds, you’ve been gone, Five realizes he has to push that to the side. He misses you, his family, and his future.

“Start small. Seconds, not decades.”

Five offers one more look at you and realizes what he has to do. His hands turn blue as he begins to reverse the last minute.

It’s like déjà vu, but as predicted, the Handler walks in, and Five snatches the gun from her. He points it at her and she raises her hand in defeat.

“It’s true, isn’t it? What Five said,” Lila shouted. “Answer me, is it true?”

“Well,” The Handler starts before being shot down.

Your eyes widen at the sight of blood dripping from her mouth, looking towards Five dropping his gun.

Lila runs towards the briefcase, followed by Luther and Diego.

Five, however, speaks to the Swede. “Enough.”

The man echoes it back and leaves.

As soon as he’s gone, it’s like time starts again as the siblings begin to talk. Diego and Luther already arguing, but Five just rushes towards you.

You’re startled when he hugs you tightly, one arm around your waist and the other on the back of your head.

“Five?” You ask.

He shakes his head. “I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?” You ask with a chuckle.

Five swears he's never heard anything better than that. He takes a while with his response, eyes tracing your face and taking in all your beauty.

“Ready to love you.”

Your eyes widen at his statement, but he just cups your face tenderly and kisses you. You melt into his arms, falling into them easily. His thumb rubs small circles on your cheeks before pulling back and resting his forehead on yours.

“Why the sudden change? Thought you hated me.”

Five just smiles. “I never hated you.”

“I never hated you either.”

“I know,” Five said smugly. “You were pretty obvious about it.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Thin ice, Five.”

He just kisses you again. “Love you, sorry.”

“Mhmm.”

— END —

🏷 five taglist: @ClearBasementVoid

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x you #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreaves x reader #five x reader #five x you #five x y/n #tua five x reader #tua #tua s2 #tua s3 #the umbrella academy #five headcanons #aidan gallagher #tua fic #tua five

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solar-wing · 9 months

Text

⚣ Therapist BatBro 👓

⚣👓 A/N → Therpist BatBro makes his debut. The second pic is honestly what I feel a therapy session in the Wayne family would look like. This is from another request I got from my previous account.

⚣👓 Summary → Your family isn't pleased with your new hobby or group of friends. But, somehow you've made it a business. Gotta respect the hustle at least.

⚣👓 Words → 2.3k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 👓

⚣ ENJOY 👓

The way I see it, you're either a vigilante with the fam and all the villains just seem to like you for some reason and ask where you are during a battle OR you're not a vigilante and you volunteer at Arkham (which would be absolutely insane but it's Arkham so it breaks even) and everyone there is cool with you. Even the Joker (which won't fly well with Jason at all).

We're going to go with the second option for this one.

So, since Bruce was adamant about you not joining the family business as a vigilante since you were the youngest and he had an unyielding urge to protect you and your childhood innocence, you needed to find something to do in your free time.

What better than to volunteer at a crazy house for psychopathic murdering villains?

Of course, considering Arkham was filled mainly with criminals your father had put there along with your siblings, it probably wouldn’t be wise to do that since they’d obviously wouldn’t approve.

SO, you did it anyway and just didn't tell them.

BatBro contemplating...

Duke was the first to find out. Batman had supplies Arkham needed but since he was at work and Duke always took the day shift as everyone liked to joke, who better to drop it off than him? Imagine his surprise when he finds his baby bro in there serving ice cream to Mr. Freeze.

"Here ya go Fries, my man. I sprinkled some ice shavings on there to make it a little tangier for you..." You said handing him the cone.

"Ha ha ha, aren't you hilarious." Victor Fries replied with a genuine smile. As far as The Signal persona knew, he was only capable of smirking or mean-mugging the shit of people, with the exception of an occasional shivering face while mocking someone for how cold they were.

'Oh, they're not gonna believe this...' Duke thought, racing home right after. The way he left the institution, the guards almost thought there was a breakout or a fight going on. Nope, but there might be when he told everyone.

Of course, no one believed him at first, just staring at the dude as if he just said the craziest thing in the world like Bruce being an emotionally available parent.

When you came home that night acting cagey and weirder than normal, they figured something was going on and maybe you were at Arkham but for something completely different than what Duke thought it could be. Because, there would be no way Bruce Wayne’s, aka Batman, own son would ever even consider fraternizing with criminals, let alone his enemies. Right?

So, like any other sane, normal family who responded to distressing situations with maturity and rationality... they spied on you.

Damian, Tim, & Cass followed you the next day. Tim was understandably distraught but also curious how you could have managed to form a friendship with Gotham's criminally insane.

Like...THEY WERE INSANE. But, when he really thought about it, considering the family you came from...yeah, okay. He can see the correlation now.

Damian, however, refused to believe his little brother could be so stupid and dense. How could you form relations with the enemy like that? It was stupidity. Plain idiocy at its finest. It was betrayal!

On the other hand, it was a smart move looking from an assassin's point of view. You know the whole keep your friends close and enemies closer deal, but that was his thing. Not yours! So you'd be getting extra noogies and brotherly beatdowns when you got home. In the name of camaraderie and righting your careless decisions.

Cass thought it was fucking hilarious.

Upon their arrival and finding you trading riddle jokes with Riddler, their jaws all collectively dropped to the floor.

"Okay, okay okay..." You breathed, calming down from your wheezing laughter. "Riddle me this...I'm neither a man nor a woman but don't hurt my wittle feelings cause I'm still a person. I'll kick you and scream at you, even both during a tantrum. My ego's bigger than my head but shorter than my height, who am I?"

Riddler took a moment to think about it before the metaphorical lightbulb appeared above his head, "Boy Wonder!" He pointed.

"Which one?" You immediately responded.

"The fourth one!"

"Yes!"

Tim and Cass both had to think about it before they realized the clues in the riddle. They're eyes went wide when they realized who you were talking about, and turned to see Damian who looked ready to tear your head off with his teeth.

"He's in for it when he gets home..." He growled through his grinding teeth.

Damian pissed (Left) | Tim & Cass (Right)

Everyone was mildly concerned when they came home that night and asked them how everything went only for Damian's immediate response to be that he was going to get his revenge sketchbook.

Why Damian has a revenge sketchbook, no one knows. But, everyone was just the right amount unsettled by it.

That night at dinner there was a bit of a tense air as Damian had to be placed between both Bruce and Jason to keep him from lunging at you with his salad fork. Usually, you were used to Damian’s somewhat murderous tantrums, but this was on another level.

He almost looked like he would grow horns out of his head at any moment, which would actually be somewhat fitting. Considering he was the grandson of the Demon and all.

You also noticed how Tim and Cass kept weirdly staring at you. Neither of them said something, which was odd(well except maybe for Cass), but you just ignored it and ate your dinner.

That night, you put some of your old booby traps from when you first moved into the manor back into place. You needed some sort of reassurance and protection to help you sleep. At many points throughout the night, you shot out of bed and grabbed one of the many random weapons you had hidden around you when you thought you heard someone trying to sneak into your room.

Damian definitely tried but had learned his lesson after the last time he got caught in one of your traps. You took a lot of inspiration from movies like Home Alone and The Parent Trap.

The next day, Dick and Steph went to check out the mental institution insane asylum.

Steph also thought it was funny like Cass but in a more ironic type of way. She’d rooted for you to get your own vigilante identity and join the family business. So this was like the ultimate petty revenge and she was here for it.

But Dick just couldn't imagine you in a place like this. His sweet adorable baby brother, in this horrid mess? He was calling it, either blackmail or manipulation. A rude awakening was awaiting him around the corner.

They looked to see you in the middle of practicing a handshake with Bane.

"No Bane, fist bump, then the arm wiggle..." You said, showing him the move for the 4th time.

"Oh sorry buddy," He replied.

"No problem man, let's try again."

They watched you go through the whole routine, Steph taking a video on her phone while Dick looked in surprise and jealousy. How come you and him didn't have a handshake like that? Every little brother should want to have a cool handshake with their cool big brother! Was he not good enough?!

Steph laughing in petty (Left) | Dick breaking down (Right)

When Dick stormed into the manor later muttering about showing you a real handshake, Bruce only raised an eyebrow when Steph walked in looking thoroughly entertained like she just watched the funniest show of her life. It certainly felt like it.

That afternoon, Dick gave you the cold shoulder all day. He even canceled your weekly brother movie night, which shocked everyone, especially your dad. What could have been so bad that would cause Bruce’s first protege to treat his kid brother like this? The same kid who he’d absolutely lose it if they went to anyone other than him for advice or would pout if he didn’t get the first hug from him when in a room full of people.

Of course, he still cracked when you gave him the hurt puppy dog eyes (a trick you learned from Jason that he used to use on Bruce all the time when he was younger). Dick caved and you guys ended up watching a movie, though you were mildly concerned whenever your oldest brother paused the movie and took the time to highlight the friendship and connection between two characters, especially if they were siblings.

Something like a special code, an inside joke, or even maybe a HANDSHAKE. What does it say about a big brother if his little brother doesn’t want to have a cool special handshake with him?!

Subtle.

You just nodded along, making a mental note to avoid any family-oriented films for your next movie night.

But, after this incident, you’d fully managed to get Bruce’s attention. He knew that Dick out of all his children was usually the least likely to get irate over something that wasn’t serious. So the fact that he did, despite how unserious it may have seemed, but it was settled.

Something was going on and your dad, no…Batman was going to get to the bottom of it.

Jason decided to come along with your father, fully prepared to drag you out of the building by force if he had to. He even went as far as calling your boyfriend Conner Kent, aka Superboy, who he and Bruce had a love/hate relationship with because they couldn't really threaten the boy like they wanted to if he hurt you.

Well, Jason couldn’t at least.

Bruce had more than enough kryptonite in multiple storages across his warehouse and had no problem showing it to the half-Kryptonian as a warning.

Conner was more than a little peeved, try fucking pissed when he heard you'd been hanging out with supervillains. And he as well was ready to sling you over his shoulder if he had to. But, probably not in front of your dad who kept throwing pointed glares his way as they moved through the building.

When Batman showed up demanding to see where the volunteer by your name was, they quickly rushed to show him to your location. He couldn't fathom this. The mere thought that his youngest child, his sweet, innocent (on a good day) good-natured son, would be hanging around all his enemies, laughing with them like they were good ol pals?

He'd sooner believe Joker was going to therapy.

The shock of his lifetime was also waiting for him around the corner.

They came around to see you through a window sitting in an office room in business casual attire, holding a clipboard and writing down notes while Joker was laying on a couch with his cuffed hands resting on his chest, venting out his emotions.

"And sometimes, I do feel like I go a bit far. But, I can't take all the blame. I mean, everyone paints me as the villain, but Batsy plays into our little game just as much as I do. Why does he get painted as the hero and me as a crazy clown? Well, you know, besides the clown face, HAHAHA!" He vented, ending with his usual eerie cackle.

"Uh-huh, and how does that make you feel?" You asked while scribbling a few notes on your legal pad and adjusting the fake glasses on your face before turning around at the sound of the door opening.

You felt your heart drop in your stomach when you saw your father, brother, and boyfriend all staring at you with very unhappy looks.

"BATSY! Oh, do come in! We were just talking about you. I think it's about time you and I got some relationship counseling." Joker exclaimed.

Not one word was said while Conner grabbed you by your wrists, (gently of course because he's caring like that) and dragged you out of the room, Jason not too far behind, ready to tear you a new one. Batman held his shoulder, while Joker just watched in amusement, "Guess my hour's up."

You, Bruce, and Jason arguing (Left) | Joker enjoying the show (Right)

You were immediately brought home after getting an earful from Jason to which you offered him his own free session.

He agreed.

Bruce demands to know why you would even consider going there, socializing with those people.

"Well, seeing as how I can't join the family business, I figured I could do some good in some way. And villains or not, they've got good in them! Just you know, when they're not trying to murder people." You answered.

You were interrupted by your other siblings appearing before you felt an arm forcibly turn you around which Conner raised an annoyed eyebrow at, but he kept his mouth shut.

"What does Bane have that I don't? Am I not good enough as an older brother to have a handshake with?"

You sighed, "Is that why you were so upset the other day?! Ugh, would you like to create a special handshake with me, Dick?"

" Yes! Super secret too! You can't have any handshakes with anybody else!" He hugged you while you patted his back.

Brothers could be so needy sometimes.

You could see your boyfriend eyeing you both with the strangest look. In your defense, he had plenty of warning of how weird your family was.

Before things could calm down too much though, everyone heard a shrill voice screaming your name from the top of the staircase.

"Y/N!"

"Fuck..." You muttered under your breath, before turning to see Tim and Cass giving you nervous looks.

“You were there with Riddler, weren’t you?”

They could barely look you in the eye as you turned to see Damian standing on the banister, holding one of your slippers in his hand.

"Who's short now?!"

Alfred went to get the first aid kit.

Damian with your slipper...

BONUS:

☀️ | Bat Family | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

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sulfies · 19 days

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I'm curious to hear what your Altair and Ezio think of The Farm, should Desmond tell them about it!

I dont think my hc Desmond would outright talk about it unless they ask, but the other two would figure out bits from their convos.

Like Ezio would talk about big family dinners and how noisy it was and how he kinda misses it and Desmond would be like "Must be nice, my meals were mostly silent and quick" just bits and slips that hint on how isolated his childhood was. He maybe doesnt even realize how fucked up some things he says are.

I do love when in fics authors make it so Desmond was trained harder than anyone, but I find it funny that Canon Desmond barely had any idea wtf Assassins were or how they work till he got kidnapped, so maybe he talks about smthn and goes like "ooooh so thats why I had to do that *incredibly dangerous* thing as a kid"

Once they did learn/figure out tho,

Altair: would probobly be the person who understood the most since he grew up as a Assassin too, even tho his childhood was also crazy, I think he would almost Pity Desmond bc atleast he had a good father for a bit and the Assassins in Maysaf were still a community and not isolated from the town. Probobly would open up first about himself to get Desmond to talk about it but it might backfire a bit w desmond saying "oh god I got no right to complain their parents died infront of them😭"

Ezio: would be like "so u grew up with assassins whoa! Must be a huge family that has eachothers backs!" And Desmond is like 😬 "not rlly", once he learned he would be devastated, especially if its Ezio after brotherhood is established "thats not right! Its supossed to be a Brotherhood!" And just like be extra mad on his behalf and Desmond would appriciate him being loud for him. Might force him and Altair to family dinners with Maria and Claudia.

I think they would take the news of Desmond being made to genetically be a perfect cocktail of Assassins the worse out of everything and would have the "ur so much more than ur dna" group hug session

Overall I dont think they would Coddle him too much and Desmond wouldnt want to be coddled but It would strengthen their bond once he spoke about it, just regular old traumabonding

But If they ever saw Will for some rsn:

Ezio: his smile would drop as soon as he was talking or he looked towards Will, would give short answers which Will would think fo him being respectfull till Ezio disagreed with every idea he says (bad or good)

Altair: glares, silent, would use big words to show his superiority would say stuff like "oh thats what you guys do? Hmm we found that unnecesery and timewaste" "These swords? Hmm we dont use them due to bla bla bla but you do you" just find something bad about every single thing and like make jabs about it.

Bc he is sadly a Mentor they wouldnt like go punch him in the face but they would do their best to annoy him in a way he cannot call out bc thecnically they didnt do anything. And ofc they wouldnt answer any question he asked and just say "u dont know? Hmm👀"

One of them almost always would be next to Desmond even tho he would be like "omfg stop acting like guarddogs" and litterally not rlly give a shit that Will was there anymore (basically over it)

#asks #I love these HC questions plz keep em coming #I am a sucker for “fucked up desmond childhood” fanfics #Im sorry for typos

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mytragedyperson · 7 months

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ok, kinda wish we got to see the conversation between Choi Han, Deruth and Hans at the beginning of the novel, when he tells them about Harris Village. Because what did he say for Hans to see him defeat the Count's knights and just not question it? How much of the tragic backstory did he tell them, all of it or just the Harris village bit? Because if he didn't tell them everything, to them, it looks like Cale just came home one day with a random homeless stranger, who told them about the assassination at Harris Village, and possibly that he'd killed the assassins but, again, not clear if he actually told them that part or just the assassination of the villagers. And then the homeless stranger from Harris Village fought and defeated Count Deruth Henituse's knights. and they had no further questions? What did Choi Han tell them? Because while it makes more sense that Choi Han told them the whole story about the assassination and that's why neither Hans nor Deruth questioned it, I'd find it a lot more funny if this wasn't the case, that Hans just saw this, was impressed so forgot to question it and then just went on with his day. Maybe he even forgot to mention it to Deruth and he found out some other way, or maybe Deruth didn't know about this. Hans forgot to mention it in his report and none of the knights were about to admit that they'd been bested by some random stranger who their young master randomly found. God, imagine being one of those knights. seriously, no one, not one person, questioned it? Not one of them was so paranoid they worried that Choi Han was lying about who he was or where he was from. I can't imagine every single knight knew about what happened at Harris Village, though I could be wrong. They might've been told in case the assassins were sent to their territory again. But this was still early on. everyone just took this at face value and accepted it? Honestly, one of the things that makes this story work is how utterly unphased everyone around the main character is. Yes, Choi Han and Rosalyn and Lock and the Calefam are completely unphased. But even the unnamed knights, Hilsman and Hans just never question anything. Honestly, I love Deputy Butler Hans. He comes the closest to questioning Cale but you can almost tell he wants to ask but then realizes actually, on second thought I don't wanna know, and just goes about his day, oblivious to the craziness that surrounds him. Either that or he's about to ask or say something but gets interrupted before he can and then it just feels too awkward to ask later. This book wouldn't work half as well if the characters didn't all share a brain cell.

every time I remember Choi Han is physically seventeen and Cale is physically 18, it makes me sad that they're dealing with this shit. I know Cale is 20 now but that's insane. i know mentally or whatever they're older but can you imagine? 18-year-old Cale acts as a father to On, who is only 8 years younger than Cale Henituse. Like Kim Rok Soo is older, I get that but damn. To everyone else, this 18-year-old who's acted like trash for years is suddenly helping people, making friends, and adopting children. every time he returns home there's someone new with him. He's best friends and brothers with the crown prince. God they drive me crazy. i love them

Also, the way Hans asks Cale if it will be okay for Choi Han not to go back to Harris Village in the beginning of the novel is everything. He just automatically trusts Cales judgement and sees him as the person to ask. Now he may have asked the Count as well but we have no proof of that and, if there's no proof it didn't happen so I'm choosing to believe he waited to ask Cale since it was his guest, which is even better when you consider that the day before he was scared Cale was going to throw a bottle at him. Like the fact that he trusted Cale enough to trust his judgement on this matter after he'd been different for two days. God I love Hans and Cale. And I've never seen anyone talk about them and their relationship but like Hans is one of the first people to feel completely at ease around KRS!Cale. It doesn't take him that long to drop the formality. Man I love deputy butler hans. His relationship with Cale feels so underrated.

Also for future reference when I talk about relationships in this sense I mean the Canon relationship. If I make headcanons, which is a real possibility, that may change to include a romantic aspect, but for now, in this case its purely platonic.

And Hans mentioning Ron hurting himself while working again, and that letting us, the audience know that Cale is wrong when he says Choi Han, Ron and Beacrox seem to be getting along. Because we already know about their first spar, but none of the other characters do. Uts another example of unreliable narrator Cale and we love to see it. OK so I really like this story. There's a huge chance that any posts I make are just gonna be this, like talking about unreliable narrator Cale, nobody ever questioning anything that happens and just general reactions as I reread and most of it is just gonna be random thoughts I have while reading. I already feel like I'm going to be so annoying about this but I have zero regrets and refuse to apologise so consider this a fair warning for if you seem to stumble across my posts a lot

Also Cales immediate response without thinking about it being "give him medicine". Further proof that KRS!cale is way nicer than he gives himself credit for. Also I'm sorry but him saying this while thinking "he probably killed somebody again" absolutely sends me. And the fact Ron hasn't actually killed anyone yet. Also its giving "I don't care if he's a murderer, he's one of my people" which is just so Cale

The interview scene is a great example of why Cale can never seen to get rid of the strays he collects. So, as usual, he thinks he's being selfish and using Choi Han, whatever. And obviously there's the whole, if you can kill people, then you should be able to protect people thing, which is already a pretty good message for Choi Han to hear at this point, that he's good for something more than hurting other people or things. But more than that, by phrasing it as an interview, when Choi Han passes that means he's qualified, that Cale believes he can protect/save people. Cale is probably one of the first people to believe in him, to believe he's capable of more than hurting others, and for someone like Choi Han who's just lost everyone he cared about and killed people for the first time, and is probably suffering some serious surivivors' guilt, it's probably what he needs to hear, that someone still believes in him, even if it is a complete stranger. And it's not actually like Cale is being selfish because, if everything went how he planned at this point, it wouldn't even be like he'd gain Rosalyn and Lock's skills to use because he planned to just send them on their way. Also, the way he asks Choi Han's name and introduces himself - it shows a certain level of respect that most wouldn't expect from a noble. He's not looking down on Choi Han, He's treating him as an equal and, by saying he's heard his name from others but wants to hear from Choi Han himself, it shows that he wants him to have his voice and speak and that he'll listen. this may seem like a reach because it's such a small thing but how many nobles would care enough to ask a commoner, one who looked homeless, their name. Most wouldn't even bother to ask to confirm the name they'd heard was correct but Cale does. Imagine how that must feel to Choi Han, knowing his status, that Cale bothered to ask and treat him like an equal.

also can you imagine if Choi Han had slipped up and admitted Cale sent him when he first met Rosalyn and Lock. It wouldn't be completely insane for him to assume they knew each other. that would've looked so bad. oh yeah, this guy who you've never met somehow knew, not only who you were, but where you'd be in order to send me to find you. God the amount of times Cale just gets lucky is insane. He's also insanely unlucky. i Can't decide if the God of Luck loves or hates him.

also don't know if this was the intention but I've always in my head read the "I'm glad you know how to read" bit as sarcastic and throwing shade, especially because he knew before this he could read and because he doesn't offer any further information about who these people are and why Choi Han has to go get them or whatever. i get that it was probably written down on the paper, or maybe he just didn't mention it. It probably wasn't intended but that's how i always read it.

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