#the others i wrote myself in the notes app

[cdragons]

"My Girl" - Robb Stark x Forest Fairy!Reader Drabble

A/N: This goes out to my girl, @dipperscavern! She needed a pick-me-up after the Tumblr app decided to be a bitch and delete her draft!!! But she still pressed on and wrote an incredible Robb Stark smut drabble! Pls go check it out!

"Please, Jon," Robb pleaded. "Just for today, and I'll make it up to you."

"Your mother will kill me if she finds out," Jon groaned. Normally, he'd be more than happy to cover for his brother, but what he was asking for was too much - even for him. "She hates me enough as it is."

"She doesn't hate you," Robb winced at the lie, but he was desperate. "Please, I have to see her."

"Why can't you see her tomorrow?" asked his half-brother. "The hunt is tomorrow anyway, you can just sneak away to see her then."

Robb shook his head. "You know how she feels about hunts. The moment the horn blows, she'll scatter far away, and I won't be able to see her for a week! A week - that's too long!"

Jon stared at his brother in complete disbelief at his dramatics. It was hard to believe that the first son of Ned Stark, Warden of the North, would be so far gone for a girl who lived so deep in the forest. A girl who lived a life completely shrouded herself in the mysterious beauty of the ancient woods.

A girl whose allure and grace were of a being so ethereal, she shouldn't exist.

Jon sighed. "Fine, I'll watch over Bran and Rickon by myself today - but if Father asks me, I'm telling him you skipped on your own!"

His brother whispered his shouts to avoid attracting attention from the rest of the keep, but Robb was already on his horse and raced out of the gates before he finished. He couldn't want to see you - his girl, his fairy, his mythic love.

Robb soon reached a part of the forest known to only very few in the North - his father included. The Starks were not only the Wardens of the North but the keeper of its ancient secrets.

Once he rode past the invisible barrier - accessible by those that carry the blood of House Stark - the wintery abode filled with white snow and blue ice melted away to a world of iridescent green trees and a kaleidoscope of colors eternally blooming. He finally saw the red leaves of the ancient weirwood tree whose twin linked your worlds together. Under the magnificent branches, he felt an explosion of love burst inside him at the sight of you.

You - his one and only love - sitting on the gnarled and overgrown roots of your tree. Your feet were bare as you only wore simple white linen dress that hugged your curves beautifully. He saw the flowers and small buds braided into your dark, wavy, umber-brown tresses.

"Fairy!"

Robb called out the nickname he had given you since he first met you in these woods as a child. He felt life flow inside him as he watched you turn around and saw the bright smile spread across your face. As soon as he was close enough, he slowed his steed to stop before jumping off and racing to the ancient tree where you and him would rendezvous in secret.

"Robb!" you called out. You waved in excitement before lightly jogging forward to meet him halfway.

Robb immediately took you in his arms and held you in a tight embrace. He pressed his nose into your locks and breathed in the lavender and wild grass notes. He felt time slow down until it seemed like the whole world stopped. Robb knew such a thing was impossible, but he thought many things were impossible before meeting you.

You slightly nudged him away until his face slightly hovered above yours. On your tiptoes, until they dug into the soft dirt beneath you, you firmly pressed your lips to his and wrapped your arms around his neck. Your mortal lover gladly reciprocated and tightened his arms around your waist until your chests were firmly pressed against each other.

When you finally parted for air, Robb lovingly stared at how beautifully flushed your cheeks became. He watched in a lust-ridden gaze at how your fingers swiftly undid the ties in front of your dress. He felt his breath stop as the garment pooled at your feet. Your body was completely bare and unclothed, and your skin was unmarred and looked silky-soft. You took his hand and held it at your breast - he could feel how fast and hard your heart was beating.

He wondered if you even knew how much of his breath you took away.

"I want to feel you, my love," you whispered. "Just us, under our tree, where only the witnesses of our love are our gods."

Robb choked back a groan. If he felt his cock growing hard at the sight of your skin, your words made his cock weep for your wet walls.

Gods, he loved you so much - how could he refuse?

Hurriedly, he took off his cloak and laid it down on the ground before removing his clothes with your help; Robb was just as bare and naked as you were. You gasped at the sight of him.

How could one man be so beautiful? How did such beauty become possible? How blessed were you to receive his love?

He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. His tongue swiped your bottom lip, and your lips parted to grant his access to fully devour you. When it felt like you would collapse from the lack of air, his lips trailed down your neck. You heard him murmur against your skin.

"I love you."

He repeated it over and over again, and your breathing became heavier as he continued to trail down. On the tops of your breasts, he deeply breathed the addictive perfume of your skin and began to lay kisses within the valley. His gentle hands roamed and caressed your skin with so much tenderness as his fingers reached that soaked spot between your plush thighs. He slowly slid his fingers inside you, and he growled at how much your slick arousal coated his calloused fingers.

You, on the other hand, felt completely lost in the sea of pleasure Robb was drowning you in. He was gentle. He always was with you, but today...it felt like he was the one who would completely fall apart without you.

Despite you were in full knowledge that it was truly the opposite.

Because for all of his Northern roughness, he was a man who loved with all his heart. He was utterly loyal to those he loved and cherished—a sentiment he shared especially with you, and you could not have been more grateful.

"I want to be here with you," he softly mumbled. "I could never want for anything else if I lived the rest of my life here, with you and our children. You, my pretty fairy, as the mother of my children, and me, your loyal wolf, forever protecting you."

He felt your core clench at his words as hot pleasure shot up your spine. It was a dream the two of you often shared - a life without obligations or duty, no fussy mothers or pushy fathers to stand in your way, and no empty and bleak futures looming over you. A life where it was just the two of you, riding through your forest with your horses, the woods filled with the laughter of your children. And when the day ended, the night would be filled with endless pleasure as your thoughts would only be full of him and his full of you.

You tenderly stroked the curls from his face as you felt the dam holding your pleasure slowly breaking.

Your chest was heaving. "It will, my sweet wolf," you promised. "Ours is a love no one can take away—the gods have shown it to me. After all, our gods are the ones who brought us together in the first place."

It was not long until you completely fell apart and gushed over his fingers. Your back arched as you coated your inner thighs and his fingers with your slick. Robb huskily chuckled as he pressed kisses down your stomach as you tried to catch your breath. Your fingers intertwine with his lovely, auburn curls in an attempt to anchor yourself to this material plane.

"Lie down," he softly ordered. "I won't take you against the harsh bark of a tree."

"Oh, but on your cloak in the dirt is an acceptable alternative?" you teased despite lowering against the soft, dark furs of your lover's fine cloak.

He smirks at your mirth as he crawls toward you. His perfect form hovering over you as if you were prey and he was about to devour you whole.

"Of course," he confirmed. "After all, I plan to take you on it until the only word you know how to say is my name, and the furs soak up all of your cum until it's all I can smell on it until the end of time."

Biting your bottom lip in anticipation, you could hardly wait for him to make good on his promise.

Robb aligns his cock at your entrance, its head red and its tip leaking with precum, as he slowly pushes inside you as wraps his hand in yours. He was only halfway inside you before he fully pushed himself in and completely bottomed out.

You cried as white, hot pleasure shot up your spine and flooded every nerve in your body. You felt so full and could hardly wrap your head around the fact that you and Robb's bodies were joined together as one.

"Fuckin'- fuck," he gasps out. "How is it you're so tight every time I take you?"

"Because I'm yours, Robb," you answered breathlessly. "My body was made for you as yours was made for me. Such pleasures could only exist between us - us and no one else."

Feeling the pool of pleasure in his stomach overflowing at your words, Robb begins to slowly thrust - in and out - until he reaches a steady rhythm that makes you senselessly babble as you feel your body becoming dull to everything but Robb. You felt every slow drag of his hips, every lingering trail of his touch, every hot breath on your skin, and you wondered how one man could make you feel so good.

He hits that spot inside you—the one that makes you see stars that only he could reach. Your eyes roll back, and you beg him to kiss you. A wish he complies without question—because what is his purpose if not to grant your every wish in his power?

It isn't long until he feels your walls clenching around his cock, and he can feel his control quickly slipping.

"Fairy, my fairy," he pleads against your lips. "'m close, 'm cumming."

"In-inside, my love," you beg. "I want you to spill your seed inside me. Let it take root in my womb, and our child grow."

Your grip on his hand tightens as your love's thrusts become quicker and sloppy, and he hits that spot inside you even more harshly and roughly. You scream as your walls clamp down on his member as your arousal spills out and coats his cock. He quickly follows after you, pushing himself as deep as he can to fill your womb with his seed as a groan resonates deep within his chest.

Despite the exhaustion flooding his muscles, Robb does not collapse atop you or pull out. Instead, he presses a soft kiss on your sweaty temple and lies by your side. He holds you close and breathily chuckles at how close to sleep you look in his arms. He places a small peck on your nose and smiles at how it scrunches so adorably.

"Rest now, my love. I'll be here when you wake."

You let out a loud yawn. "Good...believe it or not, this isn't what I had planned for us."

"Oh? And what were we supposed to do before you...distracted me?"

Robb raises his brow before smirking at the memory of how you initiated seducing him. You swatted his arm.

"My mare successfully gave birth to a foal. He's so beautiful - a red and white coat. I already love him."

"Have you named him?"

"Yes, Kodak."

Robb wanted to ask why you decided to name him that of all things, but you were burrowed in his chest - already in a deep sleep. With a content smile, he followed suit and met you in a dream. A beautiful dream where it was just you, him, your children, and 'Kodak.' All of you laughing and smiling in your beloved woods.

Underneath the weirwood tree, you and he met all those years ago - when you were still a sprite, and he was still a boy. Underneath the weirwood where Robb saw you for the first time, and he swore to the Old Gods and New that he would love only you for the rest of his life.

A promise he swore then, a promise he still keeps, and a promise that remains true until his last breath.

@dipperscavern, if you've died from an overload of fluff and love delulu fantasies...then I've done my job

#robb stark x reader #robb stark smut #robb stark imagine #game of thrones x reader #game of thrones imagines #game of thrones #robb stark #forest fairy #asoiaf x reader #asoiaf

[bi-octavius]

#kane’s shitposts #chocolat #comte de reynaud #otto octavius #spiderman #hideaway #jonas nyebern #edited with imgflip #first textpost i found on instagram #the others i wrote myself in the notes app

[surreal-duck]

You should draw even more midoyuzu actually trust me i'm a doctor

more midoyuzu but you didnt say what kind. transgender lesbian beams your idols

#THIS IS A REALLY OLD ASK FROM LIKE MAY IM SO SORRY DJGSKJDKJGDS #duck scribbles #doodles #anyways theyre both trans girls here because i said so #been trying to do femstars week doodles for myself since sunday i am not posting the rest tho o7 #enstars #midoyuzu #yuzumido #asks #rqs #anonymous #to very few reqs left in my inbox i am very sorry for the wait but i DO see you im just trying to rack my brain for a specific idea #that or not in the right mind to draw it just yet my bad o1 #and to that one anon from a bit more recently ill maybe repost the doodle once i have a few others to lump it in w in a doodle dump 👍 #hope thats alright w you! #i wrote a very short fic based off of this doodle too actually but that is also staying in my notes app its. embarrassing #yuzuru fushimi #midori takamine

[daughter-of-sapph0]

the sun is a painter. every morning, it casts the world in warm yellow haze. for the rest of the day, it stares at its creation, slowly viewing it at different angles. until at night it covers the world in a soft red glow, before going to sleep and doing the whole the over again tomorrow.

#dostxt #okay so I had this in my notes app dated June 8 2022 #and I can't remember if I wrote it myself or I copied it from somewhere #and like I'm 99% sure I didn't copy because I likely would have reblogged it or at least written the name of the poet and title #and I have a lot of other poetry I wrote in my notes app #and exactly zero copied things because I deleted pretty much everything that I didn't type #(apart from hard to type emoticons) #back in 2021 #so I'm pretty sure this is mine #but I can't remember for absolutely 100% definitively for sure #so uh... if it's not then please let me know and I'll delete it

[zukkaoru]

don't delete your fics without saving a backup of them. i'm being so serious.

#14-16 year old you might want to erase all evidence of the fics that 11-13 year old you wrote #but 21 year old you will wish you had at least bothered to save them in the notes app of your ipod 4 #yes my old fics were awful. no i would not want anyone to read them. #but i really wish i still had them just for myself #if you want your old fics off the internet so other people can't read them anymore that's your choice #but SAVE A BACKUP #paste the whole thing into a google doc. paste it into a word document. save it to your notes app on your phone #email it to yourself. do Something so you don't lose it forever #this is brought to you by the fics i deleted from ffn that i wish i still had access to lol #hello grace here

[owl-fruit]

welp, add lying to my best friend about my mental stability to the list of shitty things from today 🙃

#personal tag #dude why do i say that i’ll ask for help but when they ask if i’m alright now i shut down #i don’t want them to feel like i’m being all woe is me and leading the convo that direction ffs i just wanna be sad #it’s this dumb circle of not wanting to burden others but then having more problems because you won’t reach out :/ #see i can’t really bring myself to lie to the people i care about and have to choose my words very carefully on those rare occasions #so this is making me nauseous and also a little hateful towards myself so i’m doing the totally healthy thing of self flagellation #by just reading something i wrote in my notes app in a very sleep deprived state that will never be sent to my bsf #this post will be fun to look back on someday because i’m more comfortable shouting my feelings to the internet void than to my friends rn

[born-to-lose]

I know I can't be the only one who makes no pros only cons lists of people to help me get over them

#i've been doing this for years with ex friends‚ ex partners and crushes and it always helps. 10/10 recommend #like it's so relieving to get it all out without shit talking to other people or letting it out on the person themself #and it makes you feel so much better about why it's for the best that it's over #i have a separate folder for those rants in my notes app and whenever i miss people i read them and just nod to myself at every line #i mean of course everyone has pros too but in this case i focus on the cons because that's the point of it all #i wrote the last one weeks ago but i just added to it earlier today and thought i need to make a post #mel talks

[stuckinapril]

maybe a bit of an esoteric advice but saving nice things people have said in a notes app entry has saved me so many times. if i’m having a bad day, being hard on myself, dealing w negativity from others etc etc. just whatever it is. i open this page—which is basically a compilation of people complimenting me on certain attributes, sweet interactions i wrote down, or things i’ve accomplished—and it brings me right down to earth. like someone could be saying mean shit about me (whether it be a person or a voice in my own head) & instead of having to go through the mental toil of summoning up positive memories to negate that, i just go to that notes app entry. i read over everything and im like ohhhh ok im not the most horrible person in the world after all. i don’t deserve being told that after all. it’s all written down right here.

#that shit WORKS and i tended to rule out methods like this out of fear of being cheesy #u do what u have to do. #also this kind of thing teaches u to stop leaning into ur negativity bias so often #yes there are bad ppl who say shitty things #but what ab the abundance of good ones? it rly is as simple as choosing what u care about #text

[rhiaarrow]

I've always wondered,

Why does Bad carry all his backpacks in his inventory? Why doesn't he wear one on his backpack slot? Even when he had his backpacks in backpacks before the restart he still didn't have one on his back. And it always bugged me, like it's taking up inventory space?

And while watching really old vods (like I'm talking early days of Dapper) I was confused when Bad put his main backpack in his backpack slot and not in his inventory. Because like if he did it then, why doesn't he do it now?

I DISCOVERED THE REASON!

After an amount of hours of vod watching (you will have to pry that number from my cold dead hands, I will never ever share the amount of hours I spend catching up on old vods) I finally found the reason! I feel like I just made like a monumental archeological discovery because it just, a missing puzzle piece has been found. I'm so satisfied now.

I hate myself that I lost which vod this came from but I just wanted to share this because it just, aaaaaaaaaaaa. I'm so happy I have an answer to this unanswered question I've had since I started watching Bad late last year and maybe other Ghosties had the same question?

I found the origin story, buried deep in one of the vods I was watching while falling asleep last night and wrote"backpack because item recovery backpack slot in danger dungeon with dapper" in my notes app at 3am (big props to past Rhia for that, I would've totally forgotten)

And then opened my notes today to note down smth from today's stream, admittedly I don't remember what, but I found the note and remembered I was gonna share my newfound knowledge so here it is!

Bad doesn't wear a backpack on his backpack slot because when you die your artifact slots don't immediately transfer to your body when you hit transfer items. You have to do it twice in order to get all your stuff.

Bad is in a dungeon in which there is no easy way to get Dapper out as soon as things go bad. Bad gets downed and purposely forces the respawn so Dapper won't try to come help him. He set a bed beforehand so he runs back into the dungeon, yelling for Dapper to stay wherever he is. He gets to his body, collects his stuff and goes back to fighting. But THEN he tries to grab something from his backpack and Oops, his backpack is still in his corpse. He gets knocked again, respawns again, gets his items, kills the mobs and THEN he recovers his main backpack.

Dapper was fine, he didn't get knocked at all but the fact that Bad couldn't immediately access his items in an emergency scared him about it happening in a more dangerous situation and he never puts it in his backpack slot again from that day on.

It's another habit he's picked up from being a paranoid babysitter, I finally have an answer! VINDICATION!

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #badboyhalo #vodblogging #bbh #I HAVE ANSWERS! I CAN DIE HAPPY! #rhia rambles

[tyonfs]

stargirl interlude

PAIRING ▸ na jaemin x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, influencer au, strangers to lovers

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, mc and her friends are a little shallow, tbh i wrote this because of jaemin’s tits, dirty talk, sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), kitchen sex, oral (m. receiving), oral (f. receiving), lowkey dumbification, body worship, ft. one night stand with jeno 

SUMMARY ▸ and i shouldn't cry, but I love it, starboy / i just wanna see you shine 'cause i know you are a stargirl

PLAYLIST ▸ stargirl interlude by the weeknd, lana del rey • alien superstar by beyoncé

WORD COUNT ▸ 5.9k words

TAG LIST ▸ @leeknowsredeyeliner​ @geniejunn​ @sehunniepot​ @jjaeyoonoh​ @subhyuck​ @jenoluuvvs​ @jaemboi64​ @otchae​ @n0hyuck​ @hyuckinx​ @domhyuckie​ @justhereforimagines​ @daegalfangirl​ @soobin-chois​ @lmkworld​ @baekhyuns-lipchain​ @its-taeil-time​ @produmads​ @kaislinging-slasher01​ @neomorning​ @learnthisfeeling​ @glitching-wren​ @carelessshootanonymous​ @thiccfullsun​  

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ jaemin is finally not an asshole. everybody say congrats jaemin.

THE WALK OF SHAME.

The distance from Lee Jeno’s apartment to yours was approximately 0.6 miles. If you walked fast enough, it would take you around ten minutes to get back home. Meaning, that was ten minutes spent doing the Walk of Shame at nearly three in the morning.

Of course, the whole point of being an e-girl was to keep up an unattainable internet persona. You wanted to be a star, and what better way than to weaponize your good looks? Your entire brand was posting revealing pictures of yourself on Instagram and Twitter, maintaining a “gamer girl” image. Sort of like Belle Delphine, but you hadn’t stooped low enough to start selling your bathwater to strangers on the internet. You were a lone flower on the edge of a cliff—so high up that no one could reach for your stem.

Except Jeno, apparently, after you caved and met him in person tonight.

You and Jeno followed each other on Twitter a few months ago. Despite attending the same college, you two hadn’t ever met in person before. He was a popular YouTuber, so there had been rumors flying around about his sudden interactions with you. Your influencer friends were trying to grill you for more information, but you sincerely had no idea where Jeno’s sudden interest in you came from. After you posted a picture of you in pink lace lingerie complete with Hello Kitty clips and pigtails, Jeno had finally slid into your DMs.

jeno: i’d rather spend the night with you

(In response to the caption on your post: spend the day with me?)

As one would expect, things escalated from there. Jeno was hot, you were horny, and he conveniently lived 0.6 miles away from you.

In short, you got good dick. Jeno started with one hand wrapped around your neck and the other snaking its way between your legs. You were satisfied, especially because the streamer didn’t try to dap you up after railing you on his gaming chair, the wall, and then his bed. You two made some small talk afterward, and then you headed home. Prince Charming could not be fucked to give you a generous ride back to your apartment.

You pulled out your phone to look at your face in the camera app. As expected, you were a mess, but you touched up your lipstick and blush with the few makeup products you stuffed in your purse. Then, you called your best friend, Lee Donghyuck, who had been flooding your friend group’s group chat with messages for the past hour.

“Dude,” you started as soon as he picked up. Donghyuck was in the middle of taking his headphones off to put his AirPods in, running a hand through his tousled hair. “Jeno walked me to the door and made me walk home by myself.”

“No fucking way.” Donghyuck laughed. “That’s what you get for hooking up with a guy who plays Val.”

Ah, yes. Featured on Jeno’s YouTube: streams of Valorant, League of Legends, and Overwatch. There were the occasional indie games he was requested to play, too. The only one you semi-watched and commented on was Little Nightmares.

“The dick was incredible,” you told your best friend, “but he’s not cuffing material.”

“Not like you care about cuffing anyone.”

“Yes, I do!” you objected. “I’m boyfriend-hunting, Hyuck. Think about how much attention I’d get if I started dating a hotshot influencer.”

“You should date Mark Lee, then. Everyone’s thirsting over those e-boy TikTokers now. Or maybe Liu YangYang. Heard his body count’s high as fuck.”

You rolled your eyes. “His body count’s high because no one goes back a second time. Plus, I think YangYang’s finally in the talking stage with someone.”

“Good for him.” Donghyuck yawned. “Anyway, I’m going to bed soon since I finished editing my Maldives vlog. I’m still pissed you didn’t come with us.”

You rolled your eyes. Donghyuck, Yoo Jimin, Choi Beomgyu, and Uchinaga Aeri had been giving you shit for backing out on the trip the five of you had been discussing for a few months. There were just too many things going on in your life at the time, so you told them you wouldn’t be able to make it before tickets were purchased. Of course, your absence made several of your followers question if your friend group had a falling out, but you all decided not to address pointless rumors.

“I’ll come along next time when I’m not broke,” you assured. “I’m at my apartment now, so I’ll talk to you later. Bye-bye, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck threw up a peace sign before hanging up. You tucked your phone in your back pocket as you tried to fish out your key card from your purse.

However, there was a problem: it was missing.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself, sitting down at one of the benches outside to dig through your purse. You swore you hadn’t taken it out, so it definitely wasn’t at Jeno’s place. The only possible explanation was that you dropped it on the way or left it inside your apartment.

Screw these auto-locking doors.

You were royally screwed.

Fast-forward to twenty minutes later. You were still sitting at the same bench. This time, your head was in your hands and you were shivering like a chihuahua. It was dark, save for the flickering streetlight above you. You had even resorted to texting Jeno, asking him if you could go back to his place and spend the night. It was downright embarrassing, but it was your last resort. Jeno, however, seemed to have been asleep due to his lack of response.

A guardian angel was sent your way, though, in the form of a cute but tired-looking college student with a bag of groceries in hand. Kind eyes, but he looked far too exhausted to smile genuinely.

“Do you need to be let in?” the boy asked, gesturing toward the apartment entrance. He had his key card in hand, and you nearly jumped to your feet.

“Uh, yeah, but…” you trailed off. Even if you accepted his offer, you wouldn’t be able to get into your own room.

He handed you his brown Essentials hoodie he had draped around across his shoulders. “Cold?”

You wondered if your shivering or hard nipples gave it away. Surely, it had to be your nipples showing through the skimpy one-piece you had on. You never would have dressed like this if you knew Jeno was going to make you walk home yourself.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking the hoodie from him and slipping it on. It fell past your thigh and smelled good—a non-offending mix of pine and detergent. “Uh, but even if you let me in, I can’t get into my room. I lost my key.”

“Oh.”

You folded your arms across your chest. The boy beside you ruffled his fluffy brown hair, and you were wondering why he hadn’t gone inside the building yet. Maybe he was waiting for you to find some other place to go, or maybe he wanted his hoodie back.

“Have you tried asking the RA?” he asked.

“I can only get a card replacement in the morning.”

“Can your roommate open the door?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Got a friend who’ll let you stay at their place?”

“Asleep.”

“Significant other?”

“I’m single and my dick appointment made me walk home alone.”

You didn’t realize how bitter you sounded until you saw the shocked look drawn across the boy’s face. You felt sorry for dumping that on him, but you were getting way too frustrated about your lack of options. You didn’t even have a roommate you could call for help since you opted for a single.

He cleared his throat before shyly offering, “Uh… I guess you could stay at my place for the night, if you want. I can sleep on the couch.”

Your cheeks heated up. You were no stranger to random kindness from men, but perhaps you were just grateful for his proposition since you were running low on options.

“That’d be great,” you said. “Thanks.”

You followed the boy into the apartment building. He introduced himself as Na Jaemin, an animal science major in your same year who was president of a club that raised guide dogs for blind people. It was comforting to hear, so your anxiousness over this stranger luring you in to murder you in cold blood was slowly letting up.

He unlocked the door for you, letting you into his apartment first. You looked around to see a quite ordinary looking living space with a few posters and polaroids hung up on the walls. There was a border collie curled up in a dog bed in the corner of the living room, and Jaemin was being extra careful to make sure he didn’t accidentally wake him up.

He set the plastic bag down, which you found out was dog food that he picked up from a friend. It definitely made a lot more sense than him shopping for groceries at three in the morning.

“You live alone?” you asked for the sake of making small talk.

“My roommate graduated a semester early,” he replied. “I’ve been living on my own, just like you.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

He turned the question back to you, asking, “Do you get lonely?”

You shrugged as you sat down on his couch, sitting stiffly at the edge of the cushion. “When you get so much attention online, you kind of need the privacy.”

“Oh, I see.”

No more questions asked.

Jaemin retreated into his room for a moment before returning with a pillow and blanket in hand. He tossed them beside you on the couch and met your gaze.

“Bed’s ready for you whenever,” he said. “The bathroom’s inside my room, if you need to use the shower or anything. Let me know if you need any clothes to sleep in.”

Your face was heating up like a furnace, but you were glad he couldn’t see how his words were affecting you. You flushed with embarrassment when you noticed Jaemin’s eyes flicker past your neck. He probably thought his gaze went undetected, but you noticed. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was pull his hoodie high enough so that the hood hid the hickies Jeno left across your skin.

“I can just use your hoodie,” you replied. “Thanks.”

Jaemin managed a small, tired smile. You took that as your cue to get out of the living room so that he could pass out in peace. So, you headed into his bedroom and stared at his tidy bed, wondering if he had frantically fixed his sheets for you.

Since you already felt like you had asked for too much, you decided to skip your nightly shower and head straight to bed. It was hard to sleep in a stranger’s bed, though—no matter how pretty he was.

You were used to kindness. It normally came in a package deal with being attractive. Bees flocked to honey; humans flocked to beauty.

This feeling, however, wasn’t something you were used to. Genuine kindness with no ulterior motive was almost foreign, which was upsetting to admit. You weren’t sure how to sort out your feelings, but all you knew was that Jaemin’s eyes had stars in them, and you were tempted to lose yourself in them.

You woke up to an empty house.

Even the dog had abandoned you.

To be fair, you weren’t exactly an early bird. You woke up at around 10:30 a.m. naturally, and then spent an extra thirty minutes trying to muster up the willpower to get out of bed. Of course, you spent that time updating your group chat on your whereabouts.

gigi: 15k isn’t that insane?

gyu: holy shit gyu: you have to do it

karibear: gigi i will literally kill you and then resurrect you to kill you again if you don’t

gigi: check out the deliverables tho gigi: [File Attachment]

hyuck: instagram story highlight? the fuck? hyuck: a tiktok should be enough. more people check tiktok than ig now anyways lol

gigi: right???

karibear: OK BUT FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS

y/n: just caught up. I think you should do it for the $$ gigi

gigi: GIRL where have u been

gyu: i told you she probably overslept

gigi: BUT I SEE HER LOCATION ON FINDMYFRIENDS gigi: SHE IS NOT HOME

y/n: i may or may not be in a cute guy’s apartment

karibear: shut the fuck up

y/n: stop he’s REALLY cute y/n: dare i say cuter than jeno

hyuck: stfu ur kidding

gyu: well?? did you sleep with him? gyu: give us all the details

y/n: no i couldn’t find my key after coming back from jeno’s and was locked out of my apartment y/n: so this “na jaemin” appears and lets me sleep over at his place for the night  y/n: he took the couch AND let me sleep on his bed y/n: jeno could never

gyu: aww that’s actually rlly sweet

gigi: can’t find him on ig ://

karibear: no social media presence?? karibear: idk if that’s hot or a red flag

hyuck: probably both 💀

y/n: um good thing red’s my favorite color

karibear: omfg karibear: do u actually wanna fuck him karibear: send us a picture of what he looks like

y/n: idk if he’s even interested in me like that y/n: but idk i also want my internet famous trophy boyfriend :( y/n: idk if this guy even has a social media presence  y/n: still a starboy in my heart tho <3

hyuck: keep your eye on the prize bbyg hyuck: fame is fleeting so milk it while you can

You figured Donghyuck had a point. You were an internet celebrity (to some extent), so, in terms of marketing, it would be wise to push the “unattainable” image you cemented. Dating someone equally as unattainable would make you look even more desirable.

However, you were starting to lose all rhyme and reason when you walked out of the bedroom to see a plate of eggs and toast waiting for you on the kitchen counter.

A post-it note was right next to it, reading: I’m out walking the dog. I made you some breakfast if you’re hungry but you don’t have to eat it. Door auto locks so just make sure you close it whenever you leave. Here’s my phone number if you need anything. +82 x-xxxx-xxxx - Jaemin

You decided to update your group chat.

y/n: change of plans y/n: i’m making starboy mine

When Jaemin returned home shortly after you discovered his note, you were sitting on his couch, knees tucked to your chest as you forked down the waffles he made. Before you even looked up to greet him, you heard his dog yapping excitedly, hurrying over to sniff you.

“Oh, you’re still here.” He looked genuinely surprised, though he didn’t object. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, really well,” you admitted. Curious, you tilted your head and let your lips curl into a knowing smile. “Are you high?”

Jaemin stiffened up. “Uh, a little. Is it that obvious?”

“I just noticed your eyes look sort of dazed.”

You hadn’t expected it, but he almost sounded embarrassed to be caught. “I’m not like a… a full-on stoner or anything.”

“Hey, no judgment,” you replied, holding up your hands in surrender. “I was just gonna ask if I could get high with you, too.”

After visibly relaxing, a more confident grin dawned on Jaemin’s face as he handed you his pen. You couldn’t help but feel smug as you accepted it gingerly.

About a couple hours later, you and Jaemin were blazed out of your minds. He had offered you an edible shortly after you took a hit from his pen, and it kicked in an hour later for you and Jaemin. There were no words exchanged for a while, but then you two started to converse, although you couldn’t trust that anything you were saying made sense.

You weren’t big on flirting. It was a skill you only put to use when absolutely needed, and this was one of those instances. You figured this was the perfect opportunity to get close to Jaemin. Even though you could tell he was a really, really great guy, and you didn’t want to rush things with Jaemin, there were a few factors that were making you throw your morals to the wind.

For one, you were high and getting incredibly horny.

The other factor was that Jaemin was the hottest man you had ever seen (and you had encountered a lot of attractive men).

“So,” he started, “you’re, like, an internet celebrity? Like a TikToker?”

“I started on Twitter,” you explained, “but, yeah, I’m famous on TikTok, too. But there’s a good chance you’ve never heard of me.”

“Really? Why?”

“I’m known for more, uh”—you let out a nervous giggle—“risqué stuff, if you wanna see.” When he nodded eagerly, you took out your phone and opened Twitter to show Jaemin your account. Right off the bat, there was a mirror selfie of you in lingerie and cat ears. Because you were feeling bold, you added, “And the guy who made me walk home alone? He’s a famous YouTuber named Jeno.”

Something seemed to click for Jaemin when you mentioned Jeno’s name because it was the only thing that snapped him out of whatever trance he was in. He had been looking at the photo of you so intently that you were wondering if he was checking you out or spacing out.

“I think I’ve watched some of his gaming videos,” he said before handing your phone back to you. “He just… kicked you out?”

“Pretty much. At least he made me cum once.”

“Just once?”

You held your breath for a moment. With those two words, Jaemin made the atmosphere all the more tense, and you felt like you two were suspended in time. Although you weren’t sure if he said that to challenge Jeno or not, there was still a strange implication in his words. It left you wondering if Jaemin could treat you better.

“Yeah,” you replied in a quieter voice. “Just once. With my help, too.”

“That’s fucked.” Jaemin reached for his pen to take a long, slow drag. He held it in his lungs for a moment before he parted his lips to blow the smoke out. “And you dressed up so pretty for him.”

Either Jaemin was a secret dark horse when it came to smooth talking or the weed was making him horny, too. Whatever it was, his comments made your cheeks burn.

“I bet he’d be pissed if he found out I ended up in your bed after.”

The animal science major flushed at your words, growing even more shy when you giggled at his reaction. “I mean, I guess so, but we didn’t, like… I mean, we—”

“I was kidding,” you assured. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t say that unless something actually happened.”

Jaemin nodded quietly, falling back into silence for a while. You were worried that you had made the conversation awkward, so you sunk back against the couch and willed yourself to come down from your high. Maybe the weed was a bad idea. Maybe you were just getting ahead of—

“So, you wouldn’t be opposed if something were to happen?”

The question took you off-guard, and you had to process Jaemin’s words for a few moments before you sat up to look at him. There was no shame or shyness drawn across his face this time. Just pure curiosity. (And perhaps a hint of longing which was most likely brought on by the weed.)

You shook your head with a hum. “No, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think you’re cute. You seem really sweet, too, like letting me sleep over and making me breakfast.”

Jaemin smiled brightly, beaming ear to ear before he ducked his head shyly. You were surprised that he was so sheepish given his godsent looks. He had to have heard these compliments about a million times now. There was no way you were the first person to recognize his looks.

“I’m not good at this,” he admitted.

“Good at what?”

“Um, hitting on girls,” Jaemin said. His hand flew to rub the back of his neck as he added, “Cute girls.” After another beat, he let his head hang and then let out a groan. “Sorry, I don’t have a filter when I’m high.”

“Jaemin,” you cooed, scooting close enough so that your knees were touching. You placed your hand on his thigh, which made him finally look you in the eyes. “I’m pretty bad at flirting, too, so I hope this is working.”

The corner of his lip hitched up, amused. “Yeah,” Jaemin murmured, his eyes unfocusing as he leaned in close, “it’s definitely working.”

Your nose brushed against his experimentally before Jaemin pressed his lips to yours. It was gentle and innocent, but then Jaemin turned his body to face yours, and his hands started roaming your body. Your waist, your back, your hips—not an inch was neglected while he felt you up. You let slip a hum of delight, and that encouraged Jaemin to slip his tongue past your lips.

He didn’t use too much tongue, which you appreciated. There was something too sloppy about guys who used too much tongue, but Jaemin had an excellent balance between precise and hasty. And he did this thing where he would pause to suck on your tongue and then your bottom lip, which you really appreciated.

You let a whine slip, and Jaemin gripped your waist tighter. You figured he wanted you on his lap, so you threw one leg over his thigh and straddled him. It was like you were in a trance with how receptive you were, and you only wanted more when Jaemin pulled away to kiss down your neck. After minutes of nipping, sucking, and relishing your whimpers, he was satisfied with the bruises littered across your skin.

Jaemin seemed frustrated by how big his hoodie was on you, so he tugged at it until you pulled it up and over your head. After discarding it to the side, his lips found yours immediately after. The pads of his fingers slipped past the hem of your shirt to dig into your skin, pulling you flush against his body.

You were sure you could kiss him for hours, but your attention was slipping away when you felt his boner underneath you. The very least you could do was offer to help him out.

You pulled away to catch your breath, and your voice was no louder than a breath when you offered, “Let me suck you off.”

Jaemin blushed a little, and you bit back a smile because how could someone be so forward and cute? He was not innocent in the slightest, but he somehow got flustered so easily.

His voice came out strangled when he said, “Please.”

You carefully peeled off Jaemin’s shirt, admiring his muscles as you revealed his bare skin. He had to work out regularly to get a build this good, but you didn’t expect him to be this ripped. It was almost second nature when you started kissing down his chest, smiling when you heard his happy sigh.

When your kisses reached his stomach, you started tugging at the band of his sweatpants. Jaemin carded his fingers through your hair to keep you where he wanted to, and you were pretty sure all his blood was rushing to his cock with how much bigger he got. You tugged his sweatpants down to his knees and kissed up his strong thigh, looking up at him through your lashes. You wanted Jaemin to know just how drunk you were on his body.

Jaemin helped you tug down his boxers, too, and you swallowed hard when you saw how huge he was. His cock sprung up, and you were almost worried that you wouldn’t be able to take all of him in. While you were tying up your hair, Jaemin gave his shaft a few pumps, rubbing his thumb across the precum that beaded his slit.

A few strands of your hair got in your face, so Jaemin brushed them back and held your hair in his fist, undoing your ponytail so that he could tie back your hair properly. He looked down at you expectantly, cradling your jaw while you were mentally preparing yourself to take him. You flattened your tongue and ran it along the side of his cock, licking right where his vein was. Jaemin let out a groan almost instantly, and you looked up to see his eyes burning molten hot with desire.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he growled, gripping the back of your head.

His cock was throbbing, aching for you to take more of him in. So you slid your tongue over his head before hollowing your cheeks to suck him in. Jaemin gritted his teeth and tilted his head back, muttering some profanity that only encouraged you further.

You went slow at first, drawing out each bob of your head so that you got used to his size. You couldn’t go all the way down on him without his head hitting the back of your throat, making you gag a little before you started to properly take him down your throat. Jaemin started thrusting his hips into your mouth, urging you to go faster. You weren’t sure if that meant he was going to cum soon, but you sped up regardless.

“Fuck,” Jaemin rasped out, watching you with absolute admiration in his blown-out eyes, “I’m gonna cum.”

His grip on your hair loosened, as if he was ready to let you pull off of him, but you looked up at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes while you sucked harder. You wanted him to cum in your mouth, and he seemed to get the message because his moan was cut off by his orgasm.

You continued to suck on his cock while he came, swallowing without hesitation. Jaemin thrusted shallowly inside your mouth, his husky moans making you pull off him to lick a long stripe down his length.

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, catching your breaths and watching each other’s chest rise and fall. Then, Jaemin leaned in to cup your cheek and kiss you once more. He didn’t even care that he was tasting himself on your lips, but he just needed more of you.

“Let me return the favor,” he said once he pulled away. Before you could respond, Jaemin scooped you up in his strong arms. You held onto his biceps, gasping when he held your bottom firmly. “I promise I’ll make you feel really good.”

Jaemin set you on the cool granite surface of the kitchen counter, and you were glad that he kept the place clean. You would have felt gross if it was any other man, like Jeno’s grimey kitchen counter littered with dirty dishes, but you were too wrapped up in your own lust to care about moving to Jaemin’s bed.

Being high made you so sensitive that every touch from Jaemin left you trembling. As he undressed you, you couldn’t help but shudder and gasp whenever his fingers brushed over a sensitive area. He seemed to take notice, which you observed by his small smirk. As soon as Jaemin got rid of your garments, leaving you naked, he sucked in a sharp breath.

“Gorgeous,” he praised, leaning forward to take your nipple in his mouth. He sucked on the supple skin eagerly, making you moan and grab at his shoulder.

You let out a gasp when Jaemin grabbed your other breast in his hand, squeezing firmly and running his thumb along the nipple. After he decided he showed your chest enough attention, Jaemin started kissing down your stomach until he reached the apex of your thighs. He trailed kisses along your pelvis, peppering more along the top of your thighs, and you used your elbows to balance your weight on the counter. You were surely going to collapse if he kept going.

“Jaem,” you whined, “don’t tease.”

He smirked as he parted your legs even further, humming inquisitively at the sight of your soaked cunt. He lifted both of your legs and settled them on each of his shoulders, and you sucked in a sharp breath to prepare yourself.

Jaemin dipped his head and ran his flattened tongue along your folds, and god, you were floating high up in the clouds.

After some strokes of his tongue, Jaemin stiffened his tongue to lick deeper, parting your slit so that he could ravage your cunt. You couldn’t do anything but cry out his name, begging for more and more. Your engorged clit was soon aching for attention, and you became a complete mess as soon as Jaemin’s lips found your little ball of nerves.

Soon, Jaemin was holding your hips down as he ate you out like a man starved. You had never experienced pleasure so intense, and you were finding it hard to believe that the meek boy you met last night was this bold. Your fingers were tangled in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer even though his face was practically wet with your arousal.

“I-I’m close,” you breathed out, and your hips were struggling to grind down to meet Jaemin’s tongue. You wanted more—no, you needed more.

“I know,” he whispered against your thigh, and before you could beg, he snaked his tongue in your entrance, allowing your walls to clench and unclench around his hot muscle.

He used his fingers to rub your clit in small, tight circles, all the while eating you out so vigorously that you couldn’t even think about anything except Jaemin. How good he made you feel. How lucky you were to be under him.

You were drowning soon after—drowning in utmost bliss. A toe-curling orgasm shook your body, leaving your back arching against the kitchen counter. You couldn’t even process how loud your moan was until Jaemin was shushing you gently, abusing your clit throughout your orgasm while his other hand was clamped over your mouth.

“Shh,” he cooed, almost mocking you. “The walls are thin, doll.”

You nodded, looking up at him with glazed-over eyes. You just needed to focus on anything to keep you at bay, to keep you from being pulled under the current of your climax.

“Gonna carry you to the bed, okay?” he told you, and you nodded without a second thought, letting him princess carry you to his bedroom.

As soon as he laid you down gently, Jaemin leveled his cock at your entrance, running his head along the folds of your cunt. You were already exhausted from your previous orgasm, but you were still eager to feel Jaemin inside of you.

“I’ll go slow,” he assured, teasing the tip of his cock inside you so gently that you were about to fall apart. You had no more than an inch inside of you, and your walls were already clenching hard around him.

Your eyes rolled back when he pushed deeper inside you, and then soon he was bottoming out, and you could feel his thighs pressed against yours. The cry that left your lips and the groan that escaped his nearly sounded like a melody in your eyes. Each wave of pleasure made you feel like you were traveling light years past several galaxies. Stars pinpricked your vision, but you could make out Jaemin’s face among the collisions of supernovas.  

“I can’t,” you whimpered, unable to form proper, coherent sentences. “Fast—go faster.”

Something primal glinted in Jaemin’s dark eyes, and started ramming into you while holding your hips tight. His head dipped to ravage your neck, kissing and sucking as he pleased while his cock hit that perfect spot that made you see white spots in your vision. You felt a ripple of pleasure shoot under your skin.

And something else must have snapped in Jaemin because he started spewing absolute filth in your ears, and lord, was it making you lose your mind.

“I’m the best you’ve had, aren’t I?” he asked with brimming confidence, opting for sharp and precise thrusts.

You half-nodded, your cheek pressing against the pillow as your nails raked down Jaemin’s back. But Jaemin didn’t appreciate your lack of words.

“Come on, Y/N,” he pressed, “say it.” He pressed his lips to your ear and nibbled on the shell. You squirmed when you felt his hot breath fan your neck. “C’mon, I haven’t fucked you dumb already, right?”

You managed to cry out, “Y-yes, Jaemin! I’ve… I’ve never felt this good.”

He cupped your cheek and rubbed gently with his thumb, smiling down at you so kindly that it felt condescending. “Yeah? You gonna cum for me, then?”

You felt those ripples of pleasure intensify, and soon they were rising to a crescendo. You felt like you were being split apart on Jaemin’s cock, and it didn’t help that he refused to slow down before you orgasmed. You bucked your hips against him, eager to chase the pleasure that was just in your reach.

And, after Jaemin pressed his lips against yours, all of the stars in the night sky collided and exploded into nothingness.

You felt your orgasm tear through you, immobilizing you with blinding pleasure. You gasped and gripped the sheets tightly, praying that you could hold on for dear life. Jaemin slowly fucked you through your orgasm, your clenching walls bringing him to pull out of you and let his cum spill onto your stomach.

Jaemin let out a shaky sigh of contentment, and he quickly returned to your side without giving himself time to recover. Instead of basking in post orgasm glow, Jaemin aided your ongoing climax by rubbing your clit in slow, torturous circles.

“I got you,” he crooned, pressing gentle kisses to your cheeks. “I got you, doll.”

You were a whimpering, moaning mess underneath him, and you couldn’t think of anything but Jaemin as you writhed. After a few more aftershocks of pleasure (all thanks to Jaemin, of course), you finally started returning to your senses. It was possible that Jaemin had actually fucked you dumb.

He hurried to his feet to clean you up. It was a stark contrast from how he acted in bed, but your heart melted when he made sure you got enough water before he tucked you in bed. No guy had ever taken his time with aftercare for you, so you were starting to feel like being kicked out of Jeno’s apartment was a stroke of luck.

Later, he moved to lay down next to you, kissing the top of your head as he slid in. You wrapped your arm around him and you two were eventually a mess of tangled limbs.

“Can I stay?” you asked, somewhat nervous that he would ask you to leave soon.

“Of course,” he replied, easing your nerves with a gentle smile, “you can stay for as long as you want.” You cuddled close to him, burying your face into his chest, and then you heard him ask, “How do you feel?”

You smiled. “Like a star.”

#nct scenarios #jaemin scenarios #nct dream smut #jaemin smut #nct smut #jaemin x reader #na jaemin smut #na jaemin #nct oneshots #nct dream oneshots #jaemin oneshots #00 line hard hours #00 line smut #nct dream hard hours #nct hard hours

[ros3ybabe]

Day 1/90: 90-Day Challenge 🎀

Here we go again!!

Happy 1st of Febrary, lovelies 🩷

I was initially planning on coming back starting Monday but omg was I so tired after working all weekend and trying to keep up with school work. And now tomorrow is Friday, again? At least I'm not working double shifts this weekend, thankfully.

🏋‍♀️ Physical Health

walked ~10k steps

ordered some groceries

attempted to go to the gym (was having a bad day so it did not work out like that)

🧠 Mental Health

not much, but had a well needed, sorta relationship check in with my boyfriend due to some worrisome and upsetting dreams I had the previous night

♥️ Emotional Health

distracted myself from being sad and grumpy

📚 Intellectual Health

completed and submitted my 1st psyc assignment

planned homework for the next week in my planner

wrote down a sheet of things to remember for chemistry

🏘 Adulting

recieved my new insurance card in the mail and the virtual copy as well

set up an appointment with my therapist for this month

set up an appointment with my psych doctor for this month

set up an appointment with my PCP for this month

submitted an order for my birth control + other medication thru my pharmacy app

paid rent + made a credit card payment

🥰 Self Care

washed a load of laundry

scheduled some cleaning chores for the weekend afternoons

set up a morning routine (in my notes app) for me to begin following

bought some more electrolyte waters for the week

today was honestly not the best day for me mental health wise, if I'm being completely honest. I nearly cried a little but, was definitely overly mean to myself, and felt like garbage for a good part of today. but that didn't stop me from making myself a good dinner, relaxing a bit, being productive, and ending the day in a good mood.

I have no clue what tomorrow's post is going to look like since I have an 8am to 230pm class (we're going to be cooking for ourselves in preparation for the mini restaurant well be running next week). Right after class I'll have to change my shirt and head up a small hill on campus to my job, where I'll work from about 3pm to 930ish pm. so we will see what happens in tomorrow's update!

til next time lovelies 🩷

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self development #self love #wonyoungism #it girl #health & fitness #mental health #physical health #it girl self care #it girl energy #becoming that girl #that girl energy #that girl #clean girl #green juice girl #pink aesthetic #pilates aesthetic #pink moodboard #pink blog #pink academia #uni student aesthetic #university student #college student #student life #girl blogger #feminine energy #high value woman #studyblr

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for writing a paragraph on how I want to drop my friends?

(15F for ref, everyone in here is also F and around the same age)

In 2022, I returned from a six-week camp session with friends I only see once a year (pretty shitty experience ngl, but I still had fun), A couple days later, they accused me of stealing this girl's shirt since I was the last one to wear it. I told her I didn't and I wouldn't. I had a similar steal it because. They proceed to accuse me, so to get out my feelings I write this lengthy paragraph in my notes app expressing my thoughts and what I don't like about the group. This never gets sent out, and we stay friends.

In 2023, they went to camp again (for the last eligible year so it was very special to them), but I stayed home due to pre-existing commitments. This was also the time when the notes app trend was going on, a.k .a. where people would post their notes app and all the antics they wrote. I also posted a video like this, and on the sixth slide, I put the paragraph that I wrote in 2022 (it said 2022 at the top). They didn't immediately see this because they weren't allowed to have their phones, but I private the video before they got back due to a mental health issue I had accidentally aired out. At this time, I saw nothing wrong with the paragraph being included because all the issues had blown over.

A couple months later, I un-privated the video because YOLO and the group found it and immediately got hated on so hard for the video. They post pictures of me to social media stories write paragraphs about how awful of a person I am, create lies about me, and comment on all of my Tiktok posts where I talk about the issue, despite me being vague.

I don't know where I stand in this issue because yeah, I didn't go to the trip this year, and the paragraph was admittedly rude, but they didn't even give me a chance to explain, and getting body shamed on a private Snapchat story when they know I had an ED isn't something i think I deserve, but I need outsider perspective.

The paragraph for reference:

I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. The whole entire time I was at camp I felt isolated because I was not as involved and as social with the boys as you guys were/are, and that might not be your fault, but you guys have no care in that being the only thing you discuss on this group chat. Every time I text about something else, it always gets pushed to the side and now you are accusing me of stealing (name)’s top. I agree, I was the last on to wear it, but distinctly remember throwing it back into (name)'s trunk. I am sorry it did not make the trip back home, but it is not my fault. I don’t want your slutty top anyways, I only borrowed it because my ebb to street wasn’t going to work. I have done so much for you guys, like letting everyone borrow my clothes, giving away my lululemon, and while some of my pieces were stolen, I am not pointing fingers at random people because I have control of my feelings. So many words have been wasted protecting the reputation of Cabin 10 from others who think you guys are attention-seeking whores (you want names? It’s the whole fucking camp), and everyone looked at me in pity when I cried into my hands because I was so sad. I have heard you guys talk shit about me in front of my face (*giggling and whispering* Are you going to try out for the play? No that’s weird. Both heads turn towards me, and laughter erupts out of the two mouths. You know who you are), and you guys have talked shit about each other to me, so I can only imagine what has been said about me. I felt ashamed about my passions, the only personality trait you guys addressed was that I was so mean and I was smart (you only revealed the latter on in private, the former was told to everyone). I am done feeling horrible about myself because you guys are so wrapped up in what every (camp) boy thinks of you, so I am cutting contact. You have ruined my camp experience to the point where I am not coming back.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[yakultstan]

What advice would you give someone who is writing poetry

Hey! I definitely have a lot to still learn myself as I'm quite new to my attempt at poetry (so I’d love to hear everyone else’s opinion/writing process in the comments) but since you're asking here's my take (sorry in advance if you just wanted a one-line answer..I’m not so good with that)..

In my opinion, poetry is all about provoking emotion..making you feel something..therefore “good” poetry is subjective due to the way individuals experience life and emotions differently.. In most cases (especially writing for fun/self-expression), it’s not something that needs to be technically correct (imo) like an academic essay, rather it just needs to make you feel something, so here are my tips/step-by-step process at this current time

Write for yourself AKA make sure that you like(love even) what you have written.. don’t write with other people’s interpretation/perception in mind (as “good” is subjective and you’ll never be able to settle on anything). You’ll feel much more motivated to write if you are encapsulating your own experience as accurately as you can (it feels productive to turn your pain into something more tangible).. Write the thing that you wish someone else had written that makes you think “damn.. that is so me” if you’re able to do that I’d call it a success. (My fav pieces still make me feel something each time I read them and make me feel glad I wrote them, as noone else had). I say this because we are all human at the end of the day if you’re feeling it, there’s likely going to be another human out there who is grateful that you have so accurately been able to translate a generally indescribable feeling into words.  

To be able to do the above (make yourself & others “feel”) I’d start by reaching as far down into your emotions as possible.. Everyone knows about surface-level happiness, sadness etc. but what is it more specifically that you are thinking and feeling.. or what is something that you think you might feel or do if you were to become totally unhinged.. Imo poetry isn't the place to downplay your emotions or soften your language - say the things noone wants to say, the things that are “wrong” to say, don’t hold back, allow yourself to be violent, angry, sad, toxic, or pessimistic in your writing, even if you’re an optimistic/cheerful/kindhearted person irl (people are often SHOOK regarding the strikingly different persona I portray in real life vs my writing..we are all multifaceted creatures at the end of the day).

Now you might be wondering how to put the above into actual poetry..a lot of people will just “find the words” because they are talented like that, but for the rest of us.. Controversial (whilst beneficial)I don’t think an advanced vocabulary is necessary to write impactful poetry (my vocab is shit & has barely developed since I was 10 years old cause I stupidly stopped reading books until only a couple years ago).. So instead what I personally do is I write out in as much detail but in simple language, how I am feeling/what I want to portray..like you’re trying to express something in your diary or a text message you’ll never send…  At first, this is going to look like a 10yro has written it and that’s so fine because you want a clear understanding of what you’re trying to portray in your piece.. now all your related thoughts are out, attempt to rewrite it in a way that is slightly more comprehensible (usually I’ll write it in notes app so I can still have the original versions to refer back to to make sure I am encapsulating what I originally wanted) and basically rewrite a couple times until it appears more refined

Then, your original wording might be perfect as is (I would say always go with your gut feeling) but the thesaurus and dictionary are your best friend!(bless google) If a certain word kind of “ruins the vibe” of the piece and it no longer feels “poetic” just google synonyms for that word, you can even search “synonym poetic” for further options. Don’t just use any synonym though.. If you’re undecided between a couple words I would highly recommend googling the specific definition of each word and compare, because usually definitions will have a very nuanced difference and that nuance can make all the difference in being able to accurately portray your point. 

Have fun with the spacing, the lines the layout, the use of grammar (idk the terminology).. utilise these things to transform everyday sentences into an art form! Don’t get caught up in the right or wrong!

 Now reread, you want that poetic rhythm of some kind, a state of flow.. Read in your head, then read out loud then read with your own experience in mind, then detach your mind from your own experience and read from an external point of view if you wish! Reading out loud will help you see if it’s readable (duh) and the wording problems, whether that be needing to change word or remove a word or add a word will likely fix themselves! I personally would focus more on emotional impact than aesthetic but ideally a bit of both is great!

This seems like an in-depth process but all this usually occurs within about 5-10 minutes per poem cause I don’t have the attention span to spend any longer on it (maybe oneday I’ll actually refine my work properly lol but for now it’s just my form of therapy). You’ve got this! <3

Other random things I’ve learned

-Keep a log of specific words, phrases, sentences, ideas etc. even if not at all refined in your notes app on phone as you randomly think of them so you can potentially come back to it later! (If you don’t you’ll likely forget and never think of it again lol)

-Sometimes the most simple thought/concept to us (based on the fact it has circled in our brains for a lifetime so we are bored of it) can be super impactful & significant to others, so just write it anyway

-Go with your gut feeling if you’re tossing up any of your ideas, words, expressions

-Remember that quote “art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable ” - you’re never doing toooo much

-personally ive had to drop the academic ego and learn to be more than okay with being shit..you’ve gotta just do it and accept most the things you’ll write could be shit but it’ll mean there is opportunity that you write something decent amongst it all.

-DO NOT compare yourself to other people writing poetry cause it can be so disheartening!!!! we are our own worst critics.. just remember we are uniquely ourselves, no one else can write the way we write.

-PRACTICE!!!! But basically just do that by writing as much as you can. I know it’s always said but seriously I started writing daily 4 months ago and whilst I wasn’t actively trying to improve there is a massive difference noticed by myself and others between the quality of what I wrote 4 months ago and now.. It’ll just start to click! I write every day but some days I don’t have it in me to write a poem so I’ll just write a thought or feeling or diary entry for that day to keep the routine plus you can possibly come back to it for poetry inspo. 

-fake it til you make it !!!! poetry is expression !!! anything can be poetry if you want it to be :)

-I also read not long ago that writing isn’t something where you peak in your twenties (thank god for me) but rather a lot of writers become successful a lot later in life! So this gives me a lot of hope that things can only improve! Considering I was able to improve in 4 months, imagine 4 years or even 1!!(exciting! I hope I get much better!)

-If you want to know how to be more creative, more metaphorical or a lot more visual with your poetry.. Don’t ask me.. In fact I need tips myself!! I’m going to guess it has something to do with my shitty vocabulary.. I hope that I can challenge myself to improve with this overtime as well, but for now I find it cathartic to just work with my literal thoughts and emotions. Similarly, if you want to know how write about uniquely positive experiences hmu in the future when I’m more healed but maybe not yet lol.

CONGRATS if anyone actually read through all this… you deserve an award! (let me know if anyone actually did and if it was at all helpful) I hope you can find even just a component of this somewhat helpful??!! maybe it was all obvious who knows haha but also please remember I’m not very experienced in writing poetry myself, this is just my attempt at keeping myself sane :) All my love x 

Edit: as someone else mentioned.. another great tip is to READ lots of poetry written by others, this will help immensely :)

#poetry advice #writing advice #writeblr #writing tips #spilled ink #poetry #how to write poetry

[changbinsboiledegg]

awh i really love your comfort fics! is it okay if i request where skz s/o is deaf? sorry if that's weird but you don't have to do this if you don't want too :)

also please remember to take care of yourself before i find you and eat you

Nooo it’s not weird at all. I have a deaf relative so I don’t find it weird. Also thank youuuu! Feedback means a lot to me! :,) I WILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, I don’t wanna get eaten yet. You do the same though!!!! 🫶☺️

GN Deaf! Reader X SKZ

Warnings: reader is deaf. Some have hearing aid mentions, others the reader is just rawdogging it bc… well, idk. Variety?, two members get confrontational to defend reader. Mostly just fluffy moments skz would have with a deaf s/o.

Note: I’m not deaf myself, I’m just basing this off of my relatives experience and what I’ve researched so please let me know of any inaccuracies! I want to be as respectful as possible. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy and as always, if no one’s told you today, ily! 🫶

Bold = words said in sign language.

Italics = notes app, written notes, or text messages.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Chan

“You look great.” Chan carefully signed, making sure you saw.

You smiled at his compliment and signed back, “thank you. You too.”

Chan reached for your hand, taking it in his and leading you over to a bench in the park you two met up at.

He sat down after you did and shifted to face you, raising his hands as he prepared to sign again.

“What do you want to do today?” You could tell all he wanted to do was make sure you’re happy and having fun.

You started to sign back, but wasn’t sure just how much sign language he knew, so you pulled out your phone and typed your response in the notes app.

‘There’s that amusement park that I’ve been wanting to check out?’

Passing your phone to Chan, he read it and smiled, nodding when he saw you were looking at him.

“Me too.”

Lee Know

You and Minho were in a busy café when someone had bumped into you and immediately got annoyed and started to yell at you, “get out of the way!”

You were unaware, already having had gotten over being bumped into but this person harshly grabbed your shoulder to make you look at them.

You read their lips, feeling frightened that someone was this upset when they were the ones who bumped into you.

Minho immediately stepped in between you and this angry person and calmly but sternly glared down at them, crossing his arms.

“You’re seriously yelling at a deaf person for something you did? You look stupid and you sound stupid.” Minho spoke, but you were of course unaware of what was being said.

You looked back at the line, seeing you and Minho were about to be next to order and tugged his sleeve. He looked back at you, giving you a small smile as the angry person quickly left.

“We are next.” You signed, then nodded towards the counter. Minho put his arm around your shoulders as you two walked up to the counter once the person in front of you had finished ordering.

Changbin

You read the lyrics Changbin wrote, trying to imagine the melody, while also feeling his feelings in his words.

You were always the first one to read any lyrics Changbin wrote— even if you weren’t near. He’d wait for you.

Changbin had his body facing you, watching your fascinated expressions before handing back the page he wrote the lyrics on.

“I just read song of the year.” You texted him with a grin. Changbin opened the message and immediately grinned with you.

“Thank you.” He said out loud before realizing his mistake. He quickly started to text an apology, as well as the ‘thank you’ he meant for you.

But you put your hand on his and stopped his typing. You began to type a new message.

“I understood you.”

Changbin felt silly for panicking at a simple mistake. Of course you understood. If it wasn’t a complex sentence and as long as he enunciated his words, you could read his— or anyone’s lips when talking.

“Sorry.” He signed, to which you shook your head with a smile.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin had his head in your lap, enjoying the quiet as he read a book while you played with his hair, on your phone.

He occasionally hummed out a tune, flipping the pages and glancing up at you every now and then to see if you were still doing alright with his head on your lap.

You scrolled through social media, still absentmindedly playing with his hair. Hyunjin paused his reading just to admire you and it took you a second to realize he was looking directly at you, a fond smile on his face.

“What?” You asked, slowly so he’d understand.

Hyunjin gently grabbed your hand that was in his hair and placed a kiss on the palm of your hand.

“Nothing.” He mouthed slowly, enunciating the word and waiting a few seconds before returning to his book.

You placed your hand back in his hair before leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Han

“You would not believe the day I just had!” Jisung started off, rambling about his day and pacing back and forth, occasionally throwing his hands up as he vented.

You watched on, not saying a word as you read his lips here and there but nothing made sense as you couldn’t hear a thing he said nor could you grasp the context of what it was he was rambling about.

“I went to the exit but they still wouldn’t let me in because I didn’t have clearance even though I’m— oh shit, I’m so sorry, I totally forgot!” Jisung abruptly stopped when he saw you in your confusion.

He fumbled for his phone and quickly typed up everything he just vented to you about, handing you the phone.

He sat beside you as you read the entire rant about his day for a solid ten minutes before finally handing the phone back to him.

“I’m sorry.” He signed an apology, mortified that he momentarily forgot you were deaf in the midst of his frustrations.

You pulled out your phone to type a message, laughing a little.

“It’s okay, it happens.” Once he read that, you typed another message, “I love you, dork.”

Felix

“Hello, love. I made you lunch. It’s in the container in the fridge, just remember to heat it up first! - Lix”.

It was the first sticky note— of many, that you’d see during the day. Felix usually left sticky notes before he left with different messages on each.

You got up and got ready for the day, adding that note to a secret box where you kept every note he’s ever left you, unbeknownst to him.

You saw his next note on the bathroom mirror, immediately smiling when you read the words.

“I don’t have to see you to know you look breathtaking ;) - Lix”.

You took it off the mirror and continued getting ready, walking to your closet door and seeing another note.

“You look amazing in anything you wear. Don’t overthink your outfit. <3 - Lix”.

You felt your heart flutter, choosing an outfit and adding the sticky notes to your box.

You were ready to head out, making sure your hearing aids were on properly and saw another note on your front door.

“Have a great day, love. I’ll see you tonight. You look so amazing right now and I’m so proud of you. - Lix”.

This note, you placed in your wallet to help you get through the day.

Seungmin

Seungmin always had his notes app open when you were with him, just in case there was something he wanted to say that he hadn’t learned to sign yet.

One hand around his phone and one around your shoulders as he held the door open for you, entering the restaurant you were eating at.

Once you two were seated, the waiter came to your table, asking, “what would you both like to drink?”

“Water for me and,” Seungmin looked at you as you pointed to the drink you wanted. The waiter wondered why you weren’t being verbal and asked you again.

Seungmin sighed, wondering if he should tell the waiter you were deaf or let him figure it out on his own.

“And for you?” The waiter asked, clearly trying to get you to talk. You didn’t hear him, having moved on to what meal you were going to order.

Seungmin tapped your hand, catching both yours and the waiter’s attention and signed, “He’s being pretty rude, don’t you think?”

The waiter didn’t understand what Seungmin had signed, but it was then he knew now why you pointed at what you wanted, rather than being verbal. You nodded slowly at Seungmin, a bit confused since you hadn’t realized the situation.

“I would like to request a new waiter, please.” Seungmin politely told the waiter after.

I.N

You had originally wanted to surprise Jeongin with his favorite takeout and was excited to bring it to him and ear with him.

The problem was, your hearing aids batteries died in the middle of ordering, leaving the world around you silent.

The cashier was getting impatient, repeating the same question as you were panicking.

“One second…” you spoke out loud, hoping it came out right. You texted Jeongin the situation, your surprise now spoiled, and within a matter of a few seconds, he called you.

“Wait, I’m going to text you.” You spoke again, shaking and typing the words, “I’m putting you on speaker phone. Please order and answer the questions she asks.”

The cashier tried her best to keep her irritation in check, repeating what you had ordered prior to him calling you.

Jeongin listened carefully, his mouth watering when he heard the names of the food being listed.

“That sounds right.” Jeongin smiled, hearing the register ringing up. He stayed on the phone as he heard you pay and move out of line to wait for your order.

“Thank you.” You frowned, wishing it could still be a surprise for him. Jeongin hung up and immediately texted you.

“No, thank you. I know you meant it as a surprise, but I’m happy either way.”

You smiled a little, feeling a bit more cheered up. Jeongin started to type again, a new message appearing,

“Even without food, I’m still grateful to just be with you.”

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Note 2: Y’all, I firmly believe if skz had a deaf s/o, they’d for sure learn sign language. You can’t tell me they wouldn’t.

#stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #skz reactions #skz scenarios #stray kids imagine #stray kids fluff #skz fluff

[dontxevenxask]

Feeling any better?

•. ............................... .•♡•. ................................ .•

Context: You were walking with Utahime passing Gojo and Geto who were playing basketball outside. You almost got hit by the ball that flew right past you. You fell though, and Geto took you inside to wait for the nurse. I don't wanna spoil the best part for you, so lets just say that he healed you up a bit!

Pairing: Geto x fem!reader (btw you're both abt 16)

TW: getting hurt, a mention of blood once, a bit of vulgar language? Kissing and sensual touching

Word count: abt 1,1k

Authors note: Soo, here we are again! I decided to write a bit something for the Geto girlies too (am one myself😘)!! I was STRUGGLING with writing this, since it wouldn't save what I wrote if I went out of the app for more than like two seconds?? But anyways, enjoy!!<33

•. ............................... .•♡•. ................................ .•

It was a sunny spring day outside as you and Utahime were walking around school and chatting. It was nice feeling the sun on your skin and the warmth it gave, expecially after the cold winter.

You and Utahime were talking about the summer time and what you both had planned for the vacation. You had glanced a few times at Gojo and Geto playing basketball before you stopped and just looked forward as you both still walked past them.

All of a sudden you heard a yell from Gojo "Hey watch out!!" As you turned your head quickly to see what was happening, you saw the ball flying towards you. You just and just were able to avoid it hitting your face, but you still fell backwards hitting your head on the hard ground.

"Y/n! Are you okay??" Utahime panicked after she saw you fall and getting hurt.

"Mhm, yeah I'm fi-" You managed to mumble before getting cut off by her as you sat up rubbing your head.

"Your head's bleeding!!" She said in a loud and worried tone as she looked at the back of your head that was a bit red from the blood.

"Juh? It's blee- ah!" You hissed as you touched the spot where the wound was on.

The two guys came running to see if you were okay and were now standing next to you with their tall figures blocking the sun.

"I'm so so sorry, y/n! It was an accident!" Geto apologised while leaning down to look at the back of your head that was bleeding a little.

Utahime comforted you for a bit, before turning around to look at the two boys before yelling at them.

"An accident?! How does the ball even fly to us in such a speed you idiots?? You should be more careful!" She shouted as her brows were narrowed and her finger pointing at them both blamingly.

The three of them were now yelling at each other as you were holding your head trying to make the bleeding stop as you then saw Geto glancing at you.

"Alright. Lets go now" he said as he tapped you on your back with his two fingers before he then helped you stand up. After that he picked you up biggy back style, as you blushed a bit feeling his waist with your legs and his muscular hands gripping on to your thighs. He then started walking towards the school building with Utahime and Gojo stopping their arguement and just watching what was going on.

The two of them just looking at you both mouths open with wide eyes. "...Now if I was hurt, would've you came to rescue me like that too?" Gojo asked Utahime as it resulted in him getting slapped in the back of his head by her before they started to yell at each other again.

•. .......................................................................... .•

You two arrived infront of the nurses office with Geto knocking on the door as you two waited in silence.

"I think she's having lunch right now.." He said to you as he then sat you on the couch carefully, he was treating you so gently.

"Oh, right," You responded to him as neither of you were looking at each other for what ever reason.

He then glanced at your legs before kneeling down to see your face better.

"Do your knees hurt? They're a bit red," Geto asked looking in your eyes as you Said nothing in responce. You were too nervous from him being so close to you talking to you like that.

He then kissed your other knee before deciding to take it up a notch with you.

He all of a sudden took your leg and straightened it and putting it over his leg with his hands gripping under your knees gently before he kissed it. You blushed even more making his lips curl a bit before leaning a little lower almost seeing something he wasn't supposed to see, but you were quick to put your hands between your legs and over your the hem of your skirt while still looking to the side.

You then felt the other one of his hands on your shoulder as the other was leaning against the wall behind you. Him giving you a few kisses on the wound that had stopped bleeding a while ago from now.

It still hurt a bit so you had to get him to kiss somethings else. So you turned your head around and kissed his lips.

They were so soft and he thought the same of yours. He then put the hand that was leaning against the wall to the back of your head, still kissing your lips.

"Hey you guys left dramatically!" You both pulled away leaving you to look at the ground and Geto to look towards the other way from Gojo and Utahime, who were walking towards you both.

"Yeah, I just felt like the shouting wasn't really helping y/n on her situation," Geto then turned around to look at Gojo who had just interrupted the amazing moment of yours.

"But are you feeling any better after that?" He asked you staring down to see your face, both of you knowing what he meant by "that"!

You nodded before smiling up at him a bit, as the blush you once had, has now almost complitely dissapeared from your face.

"Huh? Geto did you hit your head now or something?" Gojo questioned having no clue to what he meant by "that".

•. .......................................................................... .•

#jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk x you #geto x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #utahime iori #jjk #fanfic

[evermorecountsastherapy]

❁ a gentle reprieve ❁

pairing: cardinal copia x fem!reader (can also be considered GN, though feminine pet names are used predominantly throughout)

warnings: hurt/comfort, heavy angst, anxiety attacks, a lil smut at the end as a treat, (still nsfw 18+, MDNI please) lots and lots of fluffy stuff

~4600 words

a/n: I wrote this a little while ago during a particularly rough go-around of the Big Sads as a way to make myself feel better, and I had originally planned for it to never leave the confines of my notes app but if there's a chance it makes someone out there in the void smile, then I figure it's worth it setting it free (also as a side note, this is my first time writing smut so I apologize if it's not the greatest lol)

Enjoy! :)

picture taken from pinterest

I can't do this.

Four little words that had insistently rattled around in your head all throughout the day seemed so much larger now that the sun had gone down and you were alone in the darkness. Over and over, the little voice in your head screamed them at you, almost as if it were willing you into proving it wrong.

Had this happened two months ago, you would have easily put up the fight against it and gracefully done just that: prove it wrong.

Just like you always had.

But now... 

The shallow pool of water that had dripped off your body and surrounded your feet felt colder than ice, and you didn't need to look down to know that your toes were undoubtedly blue because of it. The mess normally would have bothered you, never being one to cause any kind of disorderliness in their wake, so long as you could help it.

Instead, you felt numb to the droplets that collected in the ends of your wet hair and dripped intermittently onto the wood floor beneath you. Freezing as they were, you couldn't bring yourself to move from where you stood naked in the middle of the dark bedroom, your arms wrapped around your chest and your nails digging into your exposed shoulders. You had no idea how long you'd been standing there; you only knew that you couldn't move.

After you'd come home from work, you'd made a beeline for the shower, finally letting the frustrated tears you'd held back all day flow along with the stream of the water. You'd sobbed, your hands unable to do anything but shake as you held your face in them.

I can't do this. I can't. I can't.

There was no end it, this emptiness you felt within. It came and went without warning or reason, eating away at you slowly each time it decided to stay. Staring at a blank wall in your room, you could feel as it brutally tore into your heart yet again; that seemed to be its favorite place to strike. You couldn't decide if you wanted to scream or cry. Either one took energy you didn't have, so you did nothing.

Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan't

The silence that filled the room only made the thoughts in your head grow louder. There was a war wanting to be fought within you, but your forces had already been depleted. Only you stood against the enemy, the field behind you where hundreds of soldiers once stood ready to defend you in times like these now completely barren. You watched as the opposing side charged toward you, unable to move from where you stood alone. Even when their bullets pierced your heart and their blades reopened the scar wounds from past battles, you didn't move.

You are worthless! They screamed in your face, unsurprisingly in a voice much like your mother's.

You'll never be good enough! What can't you see that? Another slash against your skin.

You will fail, and they will never let you forget it. Why don't you just give it up? Another bullet buried itself into your chest.

You could feel the pain the words caused in their wake, but you didn't react. You didn't fight back. What was the point?

You felt a numbness fall over you then, stronger now than any other time before. You were helpless to its pull from where you stood, shivering in the moonlight coming in from your window. It was comforting, even in it's coldness, but you'd accept anything at this point.

What you wouldn't give for the earth to swallow you whole. Just to make it all stop, if only for a minute.

Too absorbed in your thoughts, you hadn't heard the door creak open to your apartment two rooms over. Even when a familiar voice rang out through the small space calling out your name, you never so much as startled. You knew who it was just by his cadence on the squeaky wooden floorboards but you were helpless to look over your shoulder at the doorway to greet him. It felt like your body had been frozen into the place where you stood, your feet permanently stuck to the ground beneath you. 

"Mia amata, sei a casa?" He called, and you could hear him flipping on lights as he quickly approached the room you were in.

The footsteps stopped when they reached your door frame and you could feel his eyes burning into your exposed backside without having to look at his face. 

When Copia first noticed the state in which you were standing in the darkened bedroom, he couldn't help but smile at what he first assumed the implication of your nakedness suggested, the thrill of the little surprise already warming his body.

But as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realized you had yet to react to him entering the apartment, something you had never done before. It seemed to Copia that you had a sixth sense for detecting when he was near, never failing to drop everything you were doing and run into his arms the minute he passed through the doorway. But you stood completely still before him, your arms clutched around your body in a makeshift hug.

Something was definitely wrong.

"Mia amata? What are you doing?" He asked gently, slowly walking over to where you stood and placing a leather-gloved hand on your shoulder.

When you didn't answer, he dropped his voice to an even lower octave and asked, "Are you alright?"

This seemed to break the spell on you, your hands detaching themselves from your shoulders to cover your face as a fresh wave of despair washed over you. Copia could feel your body begin to violently shake as you held your face in your hands and though he knew you were crying, no sound save for little desperate gasps of air escaped your lips. Instantly, he rushed around to stand in front of you, taking your hands in his.

You wanted so badly to be alright and to be able to nod your head in response to his heartfelt question, but your body had already betrayed you, your head shaking from side to side in defeat. 

"Oh, amorina," he started, his heart crumbling upon seeing your anxiety-ridden visage. He pulled you into his chest, one hand wrapped around your waist and the other gently holding the back of your head as you pressed your face over where his heartbeat under his suit jacket.

When he felt your body finally relax in his embrace, he began stroking your wet hair and rubbing soothing circles into the small of your back.

"It's okay. I'm here. You're safe, let it all out." He murmured in between kissing the top of your head. This only made you cry harder, gripping the front of his shirt like a lifeline. 

The two of you stood like this for what felt like forever and at some point, you noticed Copia had started to sway gently from side to side with you in his arms. You felt a familiar warmth blossoming in your chest at the simple act, steadying your breathing a bit. 

"You are freezing, my love. I'm going to get a towel for you, I'll be right back." Copia whispered against the shell of your ear and before you could think to protest against him leaving, he had darted into the bathroom attached to the bedroom. But he was back before you had a chance to think, a fluffy purple towel and one of his fuzzy black robes in hand. 

He threw the robe over his shoulder, holding the towel with both hands and ringing out your dripping hair with it before wrapping it around the top half of your body. He started to gently rub and pat at every area of your body, starting with your arms and then moving down from your torso to your legs.

When he reached your knees, he knelt on the ground in front of you, a kind of devotion in his body language that only you could see from where you looked down upon him. 

He must have felt you staring because he looked back up at you then, his hands now working the towel around you calf. 

"You like the view, mia regina?" He asked, a smirk gracing his lips. You were just about to smile back at him when his eyebrows suddenly drooped and his smile faded, dark eye sockets amplifying the regret that now lingered in his visage. "Mi dispiace, amore. Ignore me, it is not the right time for such things."

You felt guilt begin to creep into you at his apology, making your heart ache at his sad expression. You hated worrying anyone, especially him. The love you felt for him was insurmountable and seeing him remorseful over something you had both easily joked about many times before nearly made you want to start crying again. Moving your fingers to tangle in his hair, you managed a soft smile for him. 

"I love the view, my love." You said, your voice a near whisper. "Please don't apologize for that. You know I love it when you say things like that to me." Your fingers played with his soft hair all throughout, feeling less guilty when his expression changed into a more relaxed one. He smiled up at you again before leaning into your legs and kissing the front of your thigh where his face was now level with, his eyes never leaving yours. If you hadn't known him so well, you wouldn't have caught the hint of lust that danced in his eyes, causing you to feel a familiar blush creep into your cheeks. 

Before it could go any further, however, he slowly got back up on his feet, groaning softly under his breath at what you knew was a painful soreness in his knees. Another wave of guilt washed over you at this, suddenly feeling embarrassed for the state he had come home to you in after a long day's work. He certainly wasn't getting any younger and him having to take care of pitiful old you wasn't going to help him in the slightest.

Tossing the towel toward the bathroom door, he took the bathrobe off of his shoulder and held it out in front of you. Spinning around, you allowed him to place the robe gently over your shoulders, instinctively reaching back to slip your arms through the armholes. You were just about to close the front and tie the rope around your waist when he stopped you, moving to press himself flat against your back and nuzzling his face into the side of your neck, his side burns tickling your ears. He guided your arms back down to your sides, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling the robe snug around your waist before tying the rope once around your midsection. You looked down at where his hands now lay flat against your stomach, his head snaking farther around your shoulder to kiss your cheek softly. You hummed in appreciation, a smile now easily forming on your lips.

As precious as the moment was, your mind didn't let you enjoy it for long before it once again was sent in a panic, this time for a whole new set of reasons.

"Copia, I'm so sorry," You started, already feeling the tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes. "I didn't mean for you to come home to all of this. I just... I don't know. I woke up feeling like there was this... this cloud hanging over my head and I thought I would've been able to shake it by now but..." You tried to explain, your brain unable to form a coherent thought.

"Shhh, dolcezza," he whispered in your ear, holding your body tightly against his. "There is no need to apologize, I am here to take care of you. You are allowed to have a bad days, do not ever feel shame in that."

You shook your head at his words, hating yourself for not fully believing them. Copia had never been anything but completely honest to you, but it still felt strange letting him see you so vulnerable and weak, something you had yet to let him witness up until that point. Or anyone else, for that matter. 

"You probably have so much work to do, you don't need to spend the night fussing over me." You whispered, tears running down your cheeks and heart speeding up just at the thought of it all. "And I have an exam tomorrow afternoon to study for, and I haven't even started making dinner yet and you're probably starving and..." Your voice trailed off into a frenzied panic, squirming slightly in his arms.

The words flying from your mouth broke his heart. Here you were, having what looked to be one of the worst anxiety attacks he had ever seen you have and you were still worrying about taking care of him. How could he make you understand that you meant as much of the world to him as he did to you?

"Mio sole, vita mia, tesoro mio," He spun you around to face him, gently cupping your face in his gloved hands. "You are my everything. Please, let me take care of you, as you do for me so often. Let me make us dinner, tonight and every other night I am able. I know you love cooking for me, but you forget I also love cooking for you. That I also love taking care of you. What we have," he reached his left hand down to thread his fingers through yours, "is by no means one-sided. I want to be your shoulder cry on, as well as your lover. As well as anything else you need me to be. Just like you are for me."

Tears freely streamed down your cheeks as you processed his words. They were so heartfelt and genuine, nestling their way into your heart and causing it to all but glow with pure joy and love. You reached your hand up to cup his cheek, brushing your thumb along his stubbly chin. It was then you noticed he also had tears in his eyes and you briefly let go of his hand to swipe one away before it got a chance to run down his face. 

"Oh Copia, what would I do without you?" You smiled as you lovingly gazed into his mismatched eyes. He simply nuzzled into your hand on his cheek at the declaration, kissing the inside of your wrist softly.

It was answer enough for you: he needed you as much as you needed him. 

"Let's get you to bed," he said quietly, standing up straighter and pulling you into him once again. You glanced over his shoulder at the alarm clock glowing on his bedside table. 7:38. 

"But Copia, it's barely even eight-" Your protests were halted by his hands gripping your waist and his strong arms lifting you up to throw you over his shoulder. One hand stayed on your upper back while he placed the other on your rear protectively. "Copia! What are you doing?" You exclaimed, a squeal of delight erupting from your throat. 

"Carrying mia regina to bed because she should not have to walk anywhere herself." He said simply, playfully squeezing his hand on your ass and making you jump slightly. 

"Hey!" Was all you could manage to get out in protest before Copia approached the side of your shared bed, reaching down slightly to pull back the comforter and swinging you around to hold you between both arms before gently setting you down on the soft mattress. The entire act was quick and unusually graceful for him but you had little time to ponder this further because as soon as he had set you down, he jumped onto the bed to hover above you on all fours, his face inches from yours. 

"La mia bella ragazza," He whispered to you before leaning in and capturing your lips in his in a tender kiss. Before you had the chance to deepen it, like you so wished you could have, he tragically pulled away. "Tell me what troubles you. Tell me how I can make it all better." He said, brushing a piece of damp hair off your face. 

You didn't like that he was returning this after he had done such a good job of getting you to almost forget about it, whether that was intentional or not. But you supposed this was something you needed to get out in the open, as bottling it up obviously wasn't making it much better. 

You tried your best to search for the words to explain it without sounding completely pathetic but ended up unsuccessful. Instead, you sat there while he frantically searched your eyes for an answer instead, seemingly understanding your struggle. 

"Is it something at work? School?" He asked, and you nodded to his second question. "Is it exams?" You shook your head. "That program application?" You nodded, eyes sinking to look at your hands resting in your lap, your vision beginning to grow blurry with the onset of fresh tears forming in your eyes. 

He flipped off of you then, moving to sit beside you on his side of the bed. He pulled you into his body, resting his head on the headboard behind you. 

"Mia amata, you worry yourself so much over that. Why?" He asked as you rested your head on his shoulder. 

"You know why. It's all I've ever wanted. If I don't get in... I don't know what I'll do." Your voice trailed off toward the end, and you could feel the little voice in your head waking up again for round two. 

He slightly pulled away from you then, turning to face you fully and placing his forehead against yours, reaching his arm across to grip the outside of your thigh reassuringly. The tip of his broad nose brushed against yours, the feeling making the butterflies in your stomach wake up and take flight. 

"I've said this before and I'll say it a million times over again: you are one of the most dedicated, persistent, and loyal people I have ever met. You might not always openly display it, but you have a heart of pure gold. And that is for good reason; there are many people who are not deserving of your love. Never before have I met someone as willing to care for others as you are. And you are someone who genuinely enjoys doing it, too. And that's not even to mention how smart you are. If the idiots on that committee board in charge of judging students are so blind as to not see this, then that will be their loss, not yours, mia amata." He said, never once stopping to think about his next words. They flowed so easily from his heart to his mouth, proof of their genuinity.

"And your beauty..." He said almost breathlessly, his hand now gently rubbing the outside of your thigh, his eyes never leaving yours. "It's as if you were perfectly molded and shaped by Lucifer himself. Assolutamente divino..." His hand now began roving up under your bathrobe to your hip and waist before slowly making it's way back down again toward your inner thigh, the smooth leather of his gloves surprisingly warm.

His words left you teary-eyed and emotional, whereas his ministrations dried them just as quickly, leaving in their wake an aching need for him. Even still, something inside you began to heal with his simple words and his unfaltering love for you. It put your anxious mind at ease for the first time that day, allowing you to give your full attention to the way your lover was making you feel.

"Copia..." You said, your voice near a whisper. His hand was warming your body up unlike any bathrobe ever could and you were sure he sensed this, his hand becoming braver in it's explorations and moving closer toward the bare apex of your thighs. You were so entranced by the feel of his gloves against your exposed skin that you gasped when he suddenly placed the tips of his fingers exactly where you wanted them, beginning to rub in small circular motions. 

You tipped your head back slightly and you closed your eyes as his hand moved farther down to meet your entrance, the stimulation on your sensitive nerves almost becoming too much. Without warning, he slowly slipped his middle finger into you, which dutifully released a desperate moan from where it was caught in the back of your throat. A light-headed feeling came over you as he began pumping the finger into you at a slow and rhythmic pace, his thumb torturing you by massaging the sensitive bud just above your folds once again. 

It was times like these that reminded you of how talented a musician he was, especially when it came to the guitar. With the way his fingers worked their magic, you felt more like his beloved cherry-red Fender than a person, his skilled hands strumming your most private parts just so. He could hit every note with fluid grace, and that certainly didn't just apply to the guitar. From the smile you felt on his lips as he kissed the corner of your mouth, you guessed he was well aware of this.

Just as you felt your arousal begin to grow in intensity, he skillfully slid his ring finger into you to meet his other one, both of them pumping into you at speed fast enough to make your head spin. You could feel the start of an intense orgasm building rapidly behind your navel and you were certain you wouldn't be able to last much longer at this pace. As if he could sense this, Copia increased the pressure on your clit, his fingers curling around that sweet spot inside of you. 

It was enough to push you over the edge, your entire body shaking as you let out a particularly lewd moan. Your arms reached for his in your desperation for some kind of stability, your forehead pressing against his as you came down from the intense experience. Your lungs only allowed you to take small, sudden intakes of air as you finally regained the ability to open your eyes again, a mismatched pair staring right back into yours. The pupil in his green one was blown wide, while the white one seemed to shine with the intensity of his arousal. It only made your need for him even stronger, if such things were even possible.

You were about to lean in to catch his lips in yours when he suddenly pulled his fingers out from where they were still buried within you, bringing them up between both your faces before proceeding to slide both of them into his mouth. His eyes never left yours as he sucked on them, tasting your arousal. The sight was enough to make you gasp softly, a warm blush creeping into your cheeks.

When he was satiated of this, he pulled his fingers out of his mouth and reached his hand to cup the back of your neck, pulling you in to meet his eager lips. He kissed you with such fervor that you felt like you were all but drowning in it, his tongue tangling in yours between your open mouths while his fingers twisted themselves in your hair. You never wanted it to end. 

But to your disappointment, it did, and he pulls away from you slowly, as if he is also reluctant to draw away from you. Your eyes open to meet his intense gaze yet again. 

"Jesus fuck, you're so beautiful," you breathed, your one hand searching for his blindly on the mattress. You eventually found it, your fingers weaving themselves into place between his. The compliment came easily to your lips, the truth in it felt within every fiber of your being. He was beautiful, and it never failed to captivate you entirely.

You could see the way your words affected him when an adorably bright pink blush grew upon his cheeks and he raised the hand you had clasped in his to press his lips to the back of it in appreciation. 

"As are you, mia amata. Though I do hope Jesus is not in the room with us now. That would be incredibly awkward." He said this with a playful smile, glancing back over his shoulder as if to check if he was actually standing there. You couldn't help but giggle at his silly little joke, your chest growing warm with the love you felt for him in that moment. 

"I love you, Copia," you said, your voice sounding soft in the quiet room.

"And I love you, too, mia regina. So, so very much." He pressed another kiss into the back of your hand and you couldn't stop the smile that formed naturally on your lips as a result of the sentiment. "Are you feeling a little better now?" He asked. You nodded, pulling your hand away from his lips to kiss the back of his hand. 

"Yes, so much better. I love how you know just how take such good care of me, mio re," you tell him between kisses, and you mean every word. Your mind, as well as your body, felt much more at ease, and you were once again amazed by how he was able to know just what you needed before you even figured it out yourself. Now, all you could think about was returning the favor, the heat pooling in your stomach once again at the thought as you pulled him closer into you, reaching your other hand to slide down his side and brush along his strong thigh to finally rest at the bulge in his tight suit pants. 

God, did his suits ignite something in you. And it didn't help that he had chosen to wear your favorite that day: the sinfully tight crimson one. The black one was a close second, but it was the red one that got you every time. This was yet another thing you were sure he was well aware of, considering how often it was in with the laundry.

"As much as I would love to stay here all night and fuck you senseless, mia amata," he near growled in your ear, your ministrations clearly affecting him much more than he was letting on, "I have dinner to make and you have an exam to study for. I won't be long, and if you'd like, we can study together when I'm done. Would you like me to make you some tea or hot cocoa?"

You nodded, smiling at his words. "I would really like that. Tea sounds lovely, thank you."

"Anything for mia regina. I will be back in a little bit. You take this time now to relax, si? I will bring you your books." He said, swinging his legs around and off the bed before standing up and leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

You nodded, gazing at him lovingly. He gazed back at you, a soft smile reaching his lips and forming two rare little dimples in the corners of his cheeks. The sight nearly made you internally combust.

As he turned from the bed to walk back through the doorway toward the kitchen, you thought about how lucky you were to have him in your life. Laying your head back against your pillows and closing your eyes, your heart swelled with your love for him, your worries now dissipating into nothingness.

Whatever happened, you knew you would always have this love for him burning inside you, and that alone was enough for you to finally build up the courage to stand before that voice in your head and say: 

No, actually.

I can. 

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