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#the pain got a lot worse today and then i developed a fever and it all snowballed from there
erin-bo-berin · 2 years
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ok ok I just randomly had another thought. Reader and Steve have always known they'd have kids eventually, but Steve's been trying to convince her to start trying for ages and she keeps being like yeah soon soon just not yet. so Steve's casually mentioning it the morning of his X birthday as he and reader snuggle in bed, and she's giving him the same old story later later--they've developed this whole routine so it's not a big deal when it happens. he has such baby fever it just comes up at any opportunity these days.
so they have his birthday party with the whole gang. and I don't know how you're going to do this but maybe Robin brings her niece?? and we get to see Steve interact with this little baby and his baby fever is just getting worse. and obviously he's adorable and so good with this baby and doesn't want to give her back.
and after everyone finally leaves the party you have two presents for him. first, some very sexy lingerie (you've never worn anything like this before and Steve is going to have to work very hard not to tear it to shreds when he rips it off of you) and so you're getting busy and you're about to really get into it but you have a second gift for him... you're finally ready to start trying for a baby so you give him something that signifies that. I like the idea of giving him your IUD in a velvet jewelry type box but maybe that's anachronistic? I have no idea I just want him to look up into your eyes and know exactly what that is and be like babe? are you serious?
and then we watch this poor boy lose his fucking mind going to town on you (opportunity for breeding kink but not necessary)
I know you have lots of other fic ideas you're working through Erin. I mostly wrote this bc I thought you might like it--no pressure to actually write it if it's not interesting to you!
ok love you bye 🔥🏀
YES HOLY YES. I love this so much I can’t wait for you to read this. Just IMAGINE the disbelief and happiness!
Yes, I’m using another gif of him shirtless in the upside down. Am I sorry? No.
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Birthday Wishes
Steve Harrington x Reader
Warnings: Smut
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to yoooouuuu!”
Steve groaned, opening his eyes, seeing you laying next to him, head propped in your hand. You were beaming and singing at the top of your lungs.
“Happy birthday dear Steeeeeve,” you continued.
“You’re a horrible singer, you know,” he mumbled sleepily.
You didn’t let that deter you from finishing the song.
“Haaaaappyyyy birthday toooo youuuu!”
He chuckled, amused by your performance.
“Thank you, baby,” he smiled, kissing your nose.
“Did you like the song?” you beamed.
“Eh. 5 out of 10,” he joked.
You gasped dramatically.
“Five out of ten? You hurt me.”
You knew good and well that you couldn’t carry a tune to save your life, so you didn’t take the teasing to heart.
“The look on your face when you woke up was priceless though. You looked like you were in pain.”
“I was. At least my ears were,” he grinned.
“Asshole,” you laughed, hitting his chest.
He laughed, pulling you closer to him.
“So, are you looking forward to your party today?” you asked, laying your head in the crook of his arm.
“I am,” he said, “I don’t know how I got so lucky to have such great friends and a girlfriend to throw me such an extravagant party.”
“Only for the best birthday boy,” you beamed.
“You know what would really make it the best birthday ever?” he asked, nosing your cheek.
You had an idea where he was going with this and you snickered.
“Hm? What would that be?”
“If you finally agreed to start trying for a baby.”
You felt his pout against your collarbone and you laughed inwardly.
Starting a family was something you and he had discussed many times before. It was something you wanted to, but you’d been putting him off, telling him soon. At first, it was because you wanted to wait a bit, but for last few weeks, it had been for a different purpose.
“Soon,” you promised.
He frowned, though didn’t look upset by your answer, just looked like a puppy trying to convince its owner to drop a piece of meat. He was literally giving you puppy dog eyes.
“You’re going to deny me on my 21st birthday?”
His pout deepened and you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips.
“What’s so funny?” he huffed a laugh, all smiles again.
“You just look so cute when you give me the puppy dog eyes,” you smirked.
“Cute enough for a baby?”
“Ah, nice try,” you grinned, wagging your finger at him, “Someone better be a good boy if he wants his presents later.”
“Like at the party later?” he questioned, brow raised.
“Like in private, later.”
Your smile was devious; his interest was piqued.
“I like the sound of that,” he hummed, leaning in for another kiss.
You stopped him with a hand to his chest.
“You need to get ready for your party, big boy. You can’t be late for your own birthday party.”
He relented, sitting up in bed. He threw you a smirk as he headed to the bathroom.
“Who cares? I’m the man of the hour anyway.”
“I don’t know which birthday song was worse, yours or all the kids’ screaming version,” Steve muttered to you, taking a bite of his cake.
“You love them,” you laughed softly.
“I do,” he grinned.
“Look who I brought!” came a singsong voice.
“It’s about time Robin showed up,” Steve rolled his eyes, “Always late for something.”
“This time you’ll be thrilled when you see why,” you said, pointing over his shoulder.
Robin had brought her niece, Anna with her. The little girl was just barely six months old, full of curiosity and spoiled rotten already by her auntie Robin. You and Steve absolutely loved Anna.
“Better go get you some baby cuddles,” you told him, “Before Joyce spots her and hogs her for the rest the afternoon.”
Joyce was so maternal and a great mom to her two boys, Jonathan and Will and her adopted daughter El. She loved deeply and fiercely, willing to go to bat for her kids at any time. She was starting to get anxious for grandkids though and you were positive whenever you and Steve had kids, she was adopting them as her own grandkids.
“Already on my way.”
You laughed, watching Steve make a beeline for Robin, taking Anna in his arms. He smiled at her, talking to her and booping her nose with his finger.
Seeing Steve with the kids and babies especially, did weird things to you. You felt a bit of a longing, wanting that to be your own baby. You felt love, seeing how good he was with them. You felt desire, the desire to want to have his babies.
You took a sip of your drink, eyes still glued to your boyfriend.
All in due time.
“I’m not sure who spoils her more, you or me,” Robin watched Steve with a grin.
“Definitely me,” he affirmed with a nod, “But she’s just too sweet not to.”
He pretended his hand was a tickle monster, it attacking her tummy making her squeal with laughter.
“Is that funny, is that funny?” he cooed to her, kissing her head, “Uncle Steve loves to make you laugh.”
“You have such baby fever right now,” Robin shook her head.
He groaned.
“I know. I can’t help it.”
“Y/N still hasn’t changed her mind?”
He frowned, shaking his head no.
“She says she wants to. At least she has before, but she just keeps saying “later” or “soon”. What if she’s changed her mind and doesn’t want kids? Or worse, doesn’t want kids with me?” he frowned, brows furrowing at the thought.
“I think you’re just overthinking it,” she said plainly.
“Why do you say that?”
“One, she’s crazy about you Steve. She loves you so much. I doubt she doesn’t want to have kids with you. Two, it’s a big deal, Steve. It’s a big responsibility and maybe it still scares her. Just give her time. Although,” she smirked, peering over his shoulder, “The smolder of her gaze is enough to set your entire outfit on fire, which I’m sure she’d welcome right about now.”
He turned around, seeing you staring at him. You smiled, waving at him innocently before turning to a conversation Max and Dustin were having.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, bewildered.
Robin was just giving him a knowing smirk.
“Just the way she was staring at you just now, while you’ve been holding Anna? She’s practically screaming “let me have your babies!” Steve.”
“I think you’re exaggerating.”
“And I think you��re blind,” she retorted, “I’m telling you, all you gotta do is seduce her a little cause she looks ready for it.”
“Ugh, ew, Robin. I am not discussing my sex life with you.”
“Thankfully,” she shot back, dryly, “All I’m saying it that you should keep trying. I think you both are going to make great parents.”
Steve smiled, handing Anna the toy that had fallen out of her grasp.
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
Before the party wrapped up, you’d excused yourself claiming you had to prepare Steve’s present from you. Technically, you were.
You left specific instructions with Robin to let Steve know where to find you when the last person left. You squirm anxiously when you hear his footsteps coming down the hall.
You sit on the end of the bed, waiting anxiously, chewing on the bottom of your lip.
“Babe?”
“In here,” you called back, sweetly.
The door opened and he froze in the doorway, jaw practically on the floor. You hadn’t done anything like this before, so you were a tad nervous at his silence.
You’d bought a matching lingerie set—rose red. It was a sexy, lacy bra and panties set that you felt extremely self-conscious when you’d slipped it on earlier, but his reaction looked promising.
“Damn,” he breathed, “Happy birthday to me.”
You giggled.
“You like?”
“I love.”
He was already pulling his shirt over his head and it was left on the floor by the time he reached you, hand sliding into your hair, kissing you roughly. You moaned appreciatively as his other hand squeezed your breast through the lacy thing, so thin he could feel your nipple pucker through it.
“I’m gonna…” he managed between kisses, “Rip this…” Another rough kiss. “Fucking outfit off you.”
“Please don’t,” you grinned, tilting your head, eyes closing as his lips feasted on your neck, “It was pricy and I was hoping we might be able to use it again.”
His teeth sank into your neck and you gasped at the sensation, his tongue licking over the bitten area, soothing it.
“Hell yes. You’re never getting rid of this.”
Your laughter turned into moans as his hand dipped into one cup of your bra, fingers pinching at your nipple. The slight pinch sent sparks of electricity straight to your clit that had quickly began throbbing, your need for him multiplying in every passing second.
His mouth was back on yours, as you fell back on the bed, him hovering over you. His knee was situated between your legs and you subconsciously ground against his thigh as his tongue moved with yours.
“So needy already baby?” he whispered, hands gliding over your stomach, hooking it into the waistband of the red, lacy panties then snapping it gently against your skin.
You didn’t care that he’d hardly done anything to you and you were already moaning for him as you answered him.
“Yes,” you groaned, “Need you so bad, birthday boy.”
You bit your lip at the growl came from deep within his chest. His hand rubbed over your now dripping pussy, positive he could feel just how wet you were through the material. Somehow, he also managed to unhook your bra with one hand, nimble fingers hard at work.
You slid the straps down your arms, slowly, seductively as he watched you with desire heavy eyes. You tossed it across the room and he took you in with an approving moan. He was hard and throbbing, you could feel it against your hip.
“Get those off,” you ordered, nodding to his jeans.
“Yes ma’am,” he mumbled, standing up long enough to rid of them, returning to hover over you in just his boxers.
“As much as I love these,” he said, leaning down, his tongue trailing over the skin right above the band of your underwear, “They’re gonna have to go.”
“Unwrap me, big boy,” you taunted.
You pretty sure you heard a tiny rip in the underwear as he practically clawed them off like a wild animal. His finger circled your clit, as he kissed your hip bone tenderly before sucking harshly on the area.
You arched in reaction, nudging him with the side of your knee.
“Steve,” you breathed, “Before I become too far gone. I have one last present for you.”
He looked up at you, heat in his eyes.
“What could be better than this?”
“Just wait. I think you’ll like this.”
You sat up, leaning over to pull open the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a velvet jewelry box.
“Aw, you got me jewelry? You shouldn’t have,” he quipped sarcastically, sitting back on his ankles.
“Shut it butthead,” you laughed, “It’s what’s inside. Open it.”
You handed it to him and he opened it.
“Um your birth control pills?”
“Look closely,” you murmured, bringing your bottom lip in between your teeth, “I haven’t taken it for the last two weeks.”
His eyes snapped up to yours.
“What are you saying?”
He had an inkling of an idea, but he had to hear it come from your mouth just to be a hundred percent sure.
“I want to have a baby. With you, Steve.”
That was all it took. He disposed of the case on the nightstand, not caring if it made it to the surface or fell to the floor—although it was a thoughtful and a gift he loved, he had more important things to take care of in the moment.
His hands cupped your face as he kissed you hard, passionately, full of the fire and longing and happiness he felt. You were already tugging on his boxers, pushing them down as you kissed him back.
“Let’s put a baby in you,” he growled against your lips.
“Yes sir,” you teased.
The teasing lilt didn’t last long though when he thrusted roughly and deeply into you, making you moan in an unusually wanton way. His mouth found your pulse point, sucking on it. You were sure he could feeling your racing heart beneath his lips.
It’s like you’d unleashed something wild in him tonight as he thrust into you roughly, gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises on them from his fingers.
His hands snaked under your ass and lifted your hips just enough that with every thrust his pubic bone hit your clit, making you see stars behind your eyes. Your legs were wrapped around his back, hands grabbing his own ass as you tried to push him deeper into you.
It was rough, sweaty and passionate sex. In fact, it was the most intense sex you’d ever had with Steve and it was hot. There was something primal about it as you let your body be completely lost in his, moaning without abandon.
Your moans had become a chorus of Steve, oh god and yes. His usually perfectly swooped hair now fell into his face, giving him a sexy, rugged look, the ecstasy written into every micro expression on his face.
His hips tilted the slightest, hitting a delicate spot so perfectly, it made you arch into him with a whine. Your body was buzzing and you couldn’t get enough of him.
“So good, baby,” he groaned, eyes falling shut, “Gonna fill you up until you’re leaking my cum.”
His words were as good as giving you an electric shock and your pussy clenched around him, your orgasm coming dangerously close to unleashing itself throughout your body.
“Steve,” you whined, chest heaving as you reached between your connected bodies to rub your clit.
With a growl, he knocked your hand away, replacing it with his own. Your mouths met in a sloppy kiss as you both got closer to undeniable bliss.
His mouth attacked your neck, sucking hard enough that you knew there’d be bruises left later. His moans were muffled by your skin, but somehow that made it even better as he worked you until you were trembling.
“Cum for me, baby,” he uttered just as you could no longer hold back.
He was throbbing inside you and the feeling became too much as you squeezed around him again, fireworks going off in your head, whole body arching into him.
You cry was pleasure filled as your fingers and heels of your feet dig hard into his skin, the orgasm powerful and swift as it swept through your body. Within a few more thrusts, he was following you, his eyes squeezed and lips parted in such a beautiful sight.
Your soft moan was met with a kiss as you felt the warmth of his release dripping down your thighs. You loved feeling him cum within you, but it was even more special tonight after your gift.
He thrust a few more times, pushing his cum back inside you and smirked against your lips as you squirmed at the sudden sensitivity.
“Gotta make sure it keeps, babe.”
When he pulled out of you—even as sensitive and sore you were—you missed the fullness, the stretch and kinda immediately wanted him back inside you.
He grabbed a pillow from the head of the bed, sliding it under your hips and elevating your lower half. You watched, amused, even in your half dazed and sated state.
“I read somewhere to keep your legs propped up for at least half an hour after sex if you want to get pregnant,” Steve explained sheepishly.
You grin, obliging him as he settles next to you.
“You know, it’s a lot more fun if we don’t get pregnant right away,” you pointed out.
“Jesus,” he breathed, “You keep doing that to me and I just might die.”
“Well, people always say trying is the fun part,” you smirked.
“I’m definitely not denying it,” he laughed, rubbing a hand over your stomach, pulling you closer for a kiss.
“Thank you for making my birthday wish come true,” he smiled, his forehead resting against your own.
You had a devious smile on your lips as you pulled back so you could look at him more clearly.
“Oh honey, we’re only just beginning the celebration.”
He groaned as he captured your lips with his, once again climbing over you.
The birthday boy was going to be in for a night of celebrating, that’s for sure.
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Did I ever mention how much hives absolutely suck. And that you should really, really make sure you do boosters on your kids' MMR vaccines.
Like. There's not accurate enough words for that kinda funny wheezy feeling you get right before they come on and you're just like "fuuuuuuuuck" as you dash across the house to grab the Benadryl before the itching starts.
Itching, and pinchy, stabby pain. You can feel each hive as it appears. Pin-prick. Pin-prick. Pin-prick. And it. Doesn't. Stoooooooop.
Then you get the funny feeling as your system goes into allergy mode, flooding your body with histamines that give you a headache, makes all your joints (lymph nodes) hurt, and gives you a little bit of a fever. Sometimes with intermittent nausea.
And of course your nose is trying to run off your face and eyes want to cry themselves dry.
All of this because I touched a unwashed tomato for exactly 3 seconds.
Funnily enough I can eat them just fine. Same with squash. But I can't physically touch squash, tomatoes, melons, strawberries or potato plants at all. I can't touch or eat anything melon, not even cucumbers. Which is tragic because I love melons. I'm now hyper sensitive to strawberries too and must be very cautious of eating them.
I used to eat them all the time. I loved watermelon, and cantaloupe, and strawberries. I used to love climbing the trees outside and helping mom and grandpa pick tomatoes. And as most kids do, I absolutely adored going to the pumpkin patch to pick up pumpkins.
Then I got measles, when I was 6. All because my mom was too "busy" to take me back to the doctor for my booster shot when I was 2.
I was lucky. I had one shot. Mine was a rare breakthrough case, so I didn't get all the symptoms, and I didnt suffer too much damage to my immune system. But now I am allergic and sensitive to a lot of things I never was before then, like cedar. And mosquitoes, severely. And mold.
And because my immune system was compromised by measles, I suffer unusual flare ups whenever i get seriously sick.
I had H1N1 once, and it's the sickest I have ever been in my life. Two weeks of hell, with a nasty surprise at the end: I was now totally intolerant to bread. Bread of all things! And pork. And corn. Any and everything corn. And soy. My digestive system just screamed bloody, painful murder at the slightest suggestion of these things.
Living in a poor house really sucked for me at that time. Really, really sucked. Because guess what cheap American food is full of? Yeaaah. Corn. Wheat. And soy.
By trial, error, and a whole lot of puking, I managed to figure out wheat and bread. As long as it didnt have any mold inhibitors or preservatives my body would sorta kinda tolerate it. When it wanted to. But I blatantly refused to live in a world without bread, pasta, and cereal, so I didn't give my system a choice.
Corn is still a struggle, but less so. Soy is only tolerated if it's hydrolysed/isolated protein. And pork? Well. Suffice to say I only get to eat bacon once a year or so. Sparingly. Ham can be tolerated better, as long as it's cold and not fried in its own fat. Beef has developed the same issue - possibly due to Covid interference.
But today I touched a raw, fresh, unwashed tomato on the vine, and the sickness I am presently enduring has been a cruel reminder of how much impact that stupid virus could have had... And how grateful I am that I didn't have it worse.
If this is what a breakthrough can do, I dont want to think about first exposure infection. Vaccinate your damn kids, and don't skip appointments.
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pennielane · 2 years
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cuddlepilefics · 3 years
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Ear infection
Fandom: Stray Kids
Sickie: Seungmin
Caregivers: Stray Kids (mainly Changbin)
Prompt @sicktember
No one's POV.:
Seungmin had been battling a very persistent cold for the past three weeks already. He had been so stuffed up that he could barely hear over the congestion. Breathing through his nose had been impossible and he had been excluded from vocal practice to protect what little he had left of his voice. It got so bad that he had to spend two entire weeks at home resting, too run down to dance and too hoarse to sing. He had felt so miserable that he didn't even put up a fight when Chan asked him to take some time off to recover. Usually, Seungmin would put up a fight and insist that he was alright but this time, he didn't have the energy to do so. Now, after what seemed like forever to the vocalist, he could finally breathe through his nose again and his throat had stopped hurting. The low-grade fever had disappeared over night and he felt loads better than he had in a while. He was still somewhat congested, his hearing muffled. His right ear was only a little muffled, while he barely heard anything with his left ear. Seungmin was convinced though that he only needed a few more days for the congestion to clear up fully and then he'd be fine. He'd been sick more than long enough after all.
Chan was surprised to see his dongsaeng up early. The younger had been pretty fatigued from his cold for a while, so him being one of the first ones up hadn't happened in a while. He also looked a lot healthier and the leader was happy his friend was getting better. "Good morning, didn't expect to see you before heading out", the Aussie smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter sipping his coffee. Seungmin made himself a cup of tea and hummed: "Good morning, hyung. Yeah, I feel a lot better actually. I'd really like to go to work with the rest of you again." – "You sure you're well enough for that yet?", Chan frowned, eyes furrowed with worry, "You still sound a little stuffy." – "Yet? It's been over two weeks", the vocalist sighed, "I'm still pretty congested but other than that, I feel fine." The leader shrugged, Seungmin could still change his mind and go home early if he wasn't up for it after all. "If you say so, you can try", he smiled, leaving the younger alone so he could get ready. Minho walked up to Seungmin next, greeting him. The vocalist didn't react at all, so Minho repeated himself a bit louder. "Yah, Kim Seungmin, stop ignoring your hyung", he said loudly. Seungmin's head snapped up, staring at the dancer in shock. Turning his head, he stammered: "I-I'm sorry, hyung. I wasn't ignoring you." – "What's up then? I kept talking to you but you didn't react. Were you spaced out or something?", the older cooed worriedly. The vocalist shook his head, explaining: "You stood on my left side and my left ear is still really muffled. I didn't hear you, hyung. I'm sorry." Minho nodded in acknowledgement but didn't seem too satisfied. "That cold's really not letting go of you, is it?", he frowned. Seungmin shrugged lightheartedly, smiling: "I feel better for the most part, I'm sure the congestion muffling my ears will clear up soon."
Unlike Chan, Minho had doubts about letting his dongsaeng go to work today. Seungmin still wasn't 100% better and with how persistent his cold had been, the dancer feared the younger would get worse again if he started pushing himself while not fully recovered. His doubts amplified when the vocalist passed him and Felix in the hallway on the way to his room to get changed. Seemingly out of nowhere, Seungmin started to stumble, his shoulder brushing the wall and he might even have fallen if Felix didn't catch him. The Aussie helped him sit down and studied his face worriedly. "Are you okay? Going to pass out?", he frowned. Seungmin shook his head, laughing sheepishly: "I-I'm fine. Not even dizzy, no idea why my equilibrium went out the window." – "You wanna try to stand?", Minho asked, reaching out a hand to help his dongsaeng up. As soon as the vocalist stood on his own feet again, he stumbled, so Minho and Felix supported him from both sides and walked him back to his room, telling him to lay down while Felix would get Chan. While the Aussie was gone, Minho felt Seungmin's forehead for a fever but his temperature felt normal. "I'm serious, hyung, I felt completely fine and then I just fell sideways", the younger insisted but stayed on his back anyway. He turned his head to the side and smiled at Chan when the leader walked in. Felix had already told him what had happened but he wanted to hear it from Seungmin himself too, so he asked: "Can you tell me what's going on, Minnie? You seemed better when we talked earlier." – "Hyung, I don't know. I feel better and out of nowhere I just fell to the side", the vocalist sighed. That sounded odd to Chan but his dongsaeng seemed sincere. That didn't mean he'd trust the younger to go to work though or to stay home alone for that matter.
"Well, it's obvious that you can't come with us if you can't even walk in a straight line by yourself", Chan pointed out, making Seungmin's face fall, "Honestly, Min. You're worrying me. Are you sure this is really just a cold with how long you've been sick? Maybe we could drop you of at the doctor on our way to work." – "No, hyung, please. I'm fine", the younger pouted. "At this point I don't even want to leave you home alone, so don't even start about going to work", the leader warned, "I know you're frustrated by now but don't make yourself worse by pushing yourself too early." – "How about we make a deal?", Minho offered, "If you manage to walk to the kitchen and back here without losing your balance, you can stay at the dorm alone and we won't bother you about seeing a doctor. Maybe you're fine to work tomorrow after one more day of rest.... If you lose your balance though, someone's staying with you." Chan nodded, the dancer had a point and hopefully Seungmin would agree too. Though the vocalist really wanted to go, watching dramas in peace still sounded better than having an overprotective hyung keeping him company, so he got up and nodded, starting his walk to the kitchen.
He wasn't even halfway down the hallway, when he had to admit defeat. Feeling the ground under his feet tip to the side, Seungmin relied on doorways and walls to steady him and had to support himself on anything he could find. Walking without holding on to anything somehow just wouldn't work. He sighed and turned around without even making it to the kitchen, stumbling back to his room. A single tear ran down his cheek when he plopped down on his bed again. Why couldn't he just be fine already? Minho sat down next to him and rubbed his back. The dancer could understand why his dongsaneg was upset but there was no use in taking him to work in this condition. Chan had left them for a moment to organize a few things but Changbin soon joined the two and smiled sadly, humming: "Hey, Chan told me what's going on and said they didn't need me as urgently at the company, so I should stay with you for today." Seungmin nodded, not really happy about it still but he didn't think the rapper would be all over him like some of the other members might. "It's okay, I won't bother you if you want to rest or watch dramas alone. I'm just here in case you need something or want company, I know we barely spent time with you recently because we were always busy", he smiled, knowing the vocalist was usually quite good at taking care of himself.
Soon the rest of the group had left and Seungmin started feeling tired again despite not having been awake for too long. Maybe it was good he had stayed home after all. Yawning, he let Changbin know that he was going to take a nap before drawing the blinds in his room and going back to bed. It didn't take long for the vocalist to fall asleep. He didn't sleep for long though, waking up to an intense pain in his left ear. Gasping, he sat up and covered his ear with his hand. He didn't know what to do, so he struggled to his feet to go and find Changbin. Seungmin still struggled to keep his balance and slid down with his back against the wall, clutching his ear as the tears started falling. "Hyung", he shakily cried out, biting his sleeve to keep from whimpering. Why did it hurt so bad all of a sudden? The vocalist was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear the hurried footsteps approaching. Changbin crouched in front of him, taking in the tear stained face and pained noises escaping his dongsaeng's lips from time to time. Holding the boy by his shoulders, the rapper frowned: "Hey, you're okay. Can you tell hyung what's going on?" – "It-It hurts s-so bad", Seungmin sobbed, hand still pressed against his ear. "Your ear?", Changbin confirmed and the younger nodded, "Alright, you didn't eat yet, so I can't give you anything against the pain, right?" Seungmin nodded again. "Alright, here's what we're gonna do. I'll take you back to your room, we'll get you into some day clothes and then I'll take you to a doctor. You probably got an ear infection or something", the rapper explained, hoisting his dongsaeng up and walking him back to his room.
Seungmin kept crying while his hyung went through his closet, handing him clothes that the vocalist changed into without even really looking at them, not caring what he wore, just wanting the pain to go away. Changbin already called them a driver before wrapping his arm around the younger's waist, guiding him to the front door to put on his shoes. Seungmin held on to the rapper's shoulders, leaning against his side heavily. Why was he so unsteady on his feet? The car ride passed in a blur with the vocalist crying pain and Changbin desperately trying to comfort the younger but knowing he couldn't take the pain away. It turned out that Seungmin really had developed an ear infection as a result of his cold. That was also what was messing with his balance. He didn't even care anymore about having to miss a few more days of work, as long as it would just stop hurting so badly. With a prescription for ear drops and painkillers, the two went on their way home and Changbin allowed the crying vocalist to wait in the car while he'd pick up his medication. The rapper could tell his dongsaeng was getting exhausted after crying for so long. Hopefully he'd be able to nap when they got home, so he wouldn't have to feel the pain for a while.
When they got home, they washed their hands before Changbin sat the younger down at the dining table, asking: "What do you feel like eating? You can take the first dose of your painkillers as soon as there's some food in you." – "I-I don't know. Anything fast. I just want it to stop already. Maybe something soft too, my jaw's starting to hurt", Seungmin whimpered, resting his head on his arms. "Blueberry yoghurt okay?", the rapper mused, rummaging through the fridge. Glancing over his shoulder, he caught the younger nodding and brought him his yoghurt, along with a spoon, before pouring him a glass of water so he could take the pill afterwards. Keeping the Seungmin company while he ate, Changbin announced: "When you're done, I'll help you put in your eardrops too, okay? Maybe you can take a nap too, you look exhausted." – "I am but I don't think I could sleep, it hurts too bad", the younger pouted, rubbing at his eyes to stop the tears from falling. He forced his yoghurt down in record time before taking the medicine his hyung had prepared. After throwing out the cup and dropping the spoon in the sink, Changbin offered the vocalist his hand to help him get back to his room, where the younger changed back into his comfortable sleep clothes. "Alright, lay on your right side", the rapper instructed when Seungmin was ready. The other complied, getting comfortable on his right side. Changbin put in the eardrops, making the younger frown. Placing the bottle on the nightstand, he asked: "Should I stay or leave you to take a nap?" – "Stay, please? Please distract me, this feels disgusting", Seungmin pouted, playing with a lose string on his blanket. Changbin sat down next to him and started to play with his hair, talking about the most random things, not even sure, whether the younger was listening to him at all. When he heard soft congested snores, he knew his dongsaeng wasn't listening anymore and carefully got up from the bed, pulling the blanket up to cover the younger before sitting on the other bed, playing games on his phone, so he'd still be nearby should he be needed. 
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adsosfraser · 3 years
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The Stone’s Toll - Chapter Eight
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“Tante Jenny! There is a rider near the gate!” Fergus shouted through the front doorway and sprinted away.
His dirk was poised in his grasp, ready to protect against any danger. The mule sauntered through the archway and snorted when its rider pulled against the reins to stop. 
 Claire slid off the horse and slammed into Fergus almost immediately. She gathered his body up against hers into a hug and rested her chin over the small curls that were growing even longer than before atop his head. 
“M-milady?” He stared, dumbfounded at the sight. 
 “Oh my Fergus, I’ve missed you so much my darling boy.” She smoothed the hair at the back of his head. Her tears fell unbidden into the little brown waves and began to soak through his hair like a steady rainfall. Fergus didn’t mind, he was also soaking her dress with his own tears. 
 “You have been restored maman.” He stated, still shocked. It didn’t pass her notice what he called her.
 “I love you mon fils. Let me look at you.” She pulled back slightly from the embrace to hold onto his cheeks with her hands. She brushed the hair that was on his forehead back and noticed the subtle changes of the boy. The bones of his face were slightly more defined and he had lost more of the roundness associated with adolescence. She even spotted two hairs on his upper lip that were darker and thicker than the soft downy hairs of the rest of his face. It would be years until it would fully develop into a beard, but she could tell what a handsome man Fergus would be. He just needed to do some more growing.
 She slowly noticed the pallor of his face and the dark purple and red hues under his eyes. The way the flesh of his bone was practically nonexistent. He clearly wasn’t getting substantial meals these days. She placed the back of her hand against his forehead again and her heart skipped in fear at the blazing temperature of it. 
 “Dear God, Fergus, you're burning up.”
 “Do not worry Milady. It’s only the winter sickness.” 
 There was a bulk inside the sleeve of his shirt and she pulled back the fabric to see Jenny’s attempt to bandage him. A long deep gash split through the skin of his inner arm. The skin around the wound was red and swollen, and she could see the tell tale signs of infection from the puss oozing from the centre.
 “What on earth happened to you Fergus?” 
 “Tis simply a scratch, Milady, dinna fash.” He tried to mimic his Scottish family’s accent, and if Claire’s concern wasn’t in overdrive at the moment, she would have laughed at how cute the boy was. “Milord said I was a brave lad that day. And braw.” He beamed with confidence and pride.
 “I’m sure you were.” She hugged him tight into her side. “Come inside, I need to examine your wound.” 
 “Fergus what stray ha’ ye brought in today? We dinna need more mouths to feed, especially wi’ young Jamie in his sickbed now too.” Jenny called around the corner of the kitchen, fixated on chopping the potatoes for supper. 
 “Auntie, Milady has returned to us.” He beamed, leading her inside on his arm. “I always told you she would.”
 The knife Jenny was holding clattered onto the floor. She crossed herself as all the colour drained from her cheeks. 
 “Blessed Michael defend us.” Her hand clutched at her heart. 
 “Jenny- I.” What words could she possibly say now? “It’s so good seeing you again.” She stared down where Jenny was protectively holding her middle. “A fourth?” 
 “Thank Christ yer here. We dinna have time to waste.” And without a single inquiry over her return, Jenny dragged her up the stairs to the children’s room. 
 The children were all tucked tightly into their beds. Wee Kitty gurgled in her Bassinet. Her small breaths were interrupted by sharp whimpers of pain. Claire’s heart fell at the somber scene before her. 
 “Ian?”
 “That useless, floppy-haired nonce can bide.” 
 “Fergus go fetch some water to boil, and lots of clean cloth. Do we have deer or chicken bone to boil?”
 “Aye.”
 “Great, can you make a broth out of it with whatever vegetables we have? Oh and um-” Her brain paused, racking her memory for the proper words. “Garlic or Rosemary too. They won’t be able to stomach any solid foods for a while, so they’ll need to sip on broth to keep their strength up.” 
 Jenny left for the door but paused near Claire. She squeezed her shoulder. “I dinna ken how yer here, or where ye’ve been these past months, but I am glad to have ye back. Just know I’m going to have some choice words wi’ ye once they all heal.”
 “I’d imagine you would.” Claire smiled brightly and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I missed you too Jenny.”
 Once she had situated the children in the sick room. She brought Fergus along with her to inspect the gash across his arm. 
 “You never did tell me.” 
 “It was a bayonet, from a redcoat. I was holding wee Kitty and they thought she was a sack of grain so they lunged for me. I protected her maman.” He grinned with pride at the memory. 
 “Oh God, Fergus.” She embraced him, careful of his arm. “Though that never should have happened, I’m proud of what you did. My brave boy.” She patted his hair affectionately. “How long ago were they here?”
 “Less than a fortnight maman. A week after they were gone, les enfantés were struck with la petite vérole.” 
 “Those bastards!” They had not only brought fear, pain, and strife into her home- Jenny’s home, she corrected herself, they had brought their disease as well and the threat that carried. 
 She returned her attention to his arm and carefully cleansed it. Jenny had brought alcohol down for her and she told Fergus to be prepared for the sting. He assured her he wasn’t afraid. With the puss and dried blood removed, she carefully poked around the wound. Claire asked if any of it was painful but he immediately gritted out a non. It wasn’t healing on its own and she was concerned. She couldn’t stitch it up with the infection she assumed was waging a war inside it, so all she could do was wrap it in clean cloth every few hours with garlic paste. When Claire went up to the Laird’s room to check on Ian, her breath quickened and her hands became slick with sweat. Ian insisted he didn’t need any coddling and he didn’t want to see his wife up there until he was healthy. Jenny and her worked simultaneously together to heal young Jamie, Maggie, Kitty, their father, and Fergus. They were thankful for the snow to help bring down fever, but also cursed the season for bringing sickness in the first place. Ian sprang back instantly and returned to work on the farm the next morning. Maggie and Kitty were worried for the scars left by the smallpox lesions, but Claire assured them they wouldn’t be terrible. It had spared their faces, and only a small amount of red dots lined their arms. Jamie was proud to add more scars onto his list, and proud to say he fought the monster and won.
 When her nephew and niece's fevers began to break, Fergus took a turn for the worse. She had prayed that the smallpox would pass over him, but it came back with a vengeance. The infection from the bayonet wound and the virus coupled together, left Claire severely worried. 
 She worked tirelessly with Jenny by her side. Never once did she leave Fergus’ room and her sister had begun to worry about her as she simply stared blankly off towards the wall clutching the sickly boy’s hand in hers. Jenny had found her in such a state many times, as if her mind wandered off but she didn’t want to bring it up. When no one was looking, Claire would open the small case of vials and a syringe from her leather travel bag. Fergus didn’t notice the slight pinch of the needle to his rear and grumbled no complaint to her in his delirious state. The Reverend couldn’t smuggle much medicine, most of what he pilfered was what had been discarded behind the hospital in a dumpster. But this small amount of penicillin he had managed, made Claire want to reach out through the veil of time and kiss him in thanks. 
 The infection was healing nicely, but there was still the smallpox coursing through his body. With his body pulled between fighting two foreign enemies, his energy was quickly fading into a weakened state. 
 “Claire, it’s time. We have the certificate ready. I’ve sent the priest down from the kirk to-”
 “No! I will not give up on my son!” She yelled with such ferocity, that Jenny stumbled back a few steps. None of the anger seeped through to the limp hand of Fergus that she was holding, and she kissed it gently while her body shook with rage at the suggestion. 
 “If the lad doesna earn his last rites, dinna say it was my fault.” Jenny slipped away to care for her now rambunctious children, who had bounced back from their sickness immediately. 
 That night, she never slept, and took up her usual spot beside his bed. It would get worse, before it got better. Claire was elated at the signs that his fever would soon break. 
 “Would you like me to tell you a story?”
 “Mmm.” 
 “Well, there once was a brave knight. He found a faerie at the bottom of the standing stones, and knew right away that she was his. He loved her, and protected her fiercely. They were blessed with three beautiful brave children. Two angels, and one son of their heart.” Somehow it was easier for her to pretend she was speaking about someone else. “There was a great evil that the knight had to vanquish. It was-“ She pursed her lips in thought. “It was threatening their angel babies, so the knight had to leave his faerie and guard their daughters in heaven. The faerie returned to protect her son.”
 Fergus while laid fevered and asleep. Claire smoothed back the crusty hair from his forehead sticky with sweat. “Je t'aime mon fils. Être fort.  Je sais que vous êtes.” Fergus stirred slightly. 
 “Je t’aime maman.” His smile and voice were weak. 
 She kissed his forehead and he slumped back into his slumber. 
 Jenny stood in the doorway smiling, on the verge of tears at the sight. It felt such a personal moment between mother and son, that she didn’t want to interrupt. But when Claire lapsed into silence, she took a tentative step into the room. 
 “The worst of it is over.” Jenny said, both as statement and question. 
 “Yes.” 
 “Good, now we can talk sister.” 
 “Yes, I believe we should.” 
 “Why- why’d ye leave my brother? I’ve kent ye well over these past few years, and I’d
never imagine that you’d just give him up so willingly. Ye’d die wi’ him if it came to it.” 
 “He made me promise that- well we knew how Culloden would end up, everyone could 
feel how much of a defeat it would be. He forced me to-“ Her brain felt muddled, keeping track of all the half-truths in her mind. “board a boat to France for the safety of our child.” Tears sprung into her eyes at that admission and her hand extended from her stomach absentmindedly, as if she was holding her belly at six months, the furthest she had been in either of her pregnancies. “Red Jamie couldn’t escape the fate of Culloden but his wife the Stuart Witch could, no one would recognise me. But I- I came back for Fergus and you, Ian, your children. I know that’s what he would’ve wanted. I just wish I knew, if he really-”
 “Ye eejit he isna dead! That dunderheid is holed up in a cave somewhere on these lands, 
grieving ye terribly.”
 “He’s- he’s alive?” A lump formed in her throat. “I didn’t want to hope that-“ 
 “Why on earth would ye think he’s dead! If ye had written letters to us. To let us ken ye 
were safe, we’d tell your daft arse to come back home! But of course, ye couldna spare us that much mind.” 
 “I’m sorry Jenny, I wasn’t in a safe place to send you letters. A man wanted to marry 
me.” Yes, years ago. “After I lost- he put me in an asylum when I refused his advances. I had to escape him after I lost-“ Jenny’s expression softened and she nodded, not in understanding, but in acceptance of what she had done. It didn’t do well to dwell on the past for too long. 
 “Well ye seem dead on yer feet, I’ll go take out all this anger on Ian.” Claire chuckled 
and then kissed Jenny’s cheek. “Wi’ him out and healthy again, the Laird’s room will be free enough but I dinna want ye to be lying in that sickbed so soon.” 
 “It’s yours now.” 
 “Ye ken Jamie and ye will always be Laird and Lady to the tenants. And no, Ian and I
occupy the same room we have fer years. I just stuck him in the Laird’s room because I was irritated at him groaning and shivering in our bed.” 
 Claire laughed, but felt bad for poor Ian who had unknowingly become the subject of 
Jenny’s ire these past few days. 
 She was in the courtyard, while Jamie made his way back to Lallybroch. A deer slung over his shoulders and buckets of water weighed down his arms. He took in the sight of his wife and nearly fainted. The buckets he had carried dropped to the ground with a snap and rolled across the yard. The stiff deer slumped to the ground over the mud. 
 It was the first word he had croaked in months, “Sassenach.” The sound didn’t reach her ears but she could read off his lips the endearment she knew all too well.
 Even with Jenny’s confirmation, she couldn’t believe the apparition before her. But could she have imagined him this way? Haggard and weary from months living in a cave. A bonnet slanted across his red hair to hide the bold colour. His beard had grown considerably from the scruff she was so familiar with. But the thing she couldn’t possibly imagine in her head was the haunted look on his face. The dark circles under his eyes and the gaunt nature of his face echoed his grief.  
 “No I’m. This isn’t- the after effects of the electroshock therapy” she mumbled. 
 She felt woozy, and her head was full of fluffy clouds. She regained her balance swiftly but stared unwavering at Jamie. His heart chilled, as if she was staring straight through his soul, but couldn’t see it. 
 “Claire I dinna ken what ye’re saying lass.”
 She gasped at his hand on her forearm. “You’re real.” 
 “And so are ye. Christ when Jenny told me to get my hide back here, I dinna ken it was really true.” She fell into him and he wrapped his strong arms across her back. 
 “Oh, God. Jamie. Oh God.” Claire’s breath rattled onto his cheek. “Just hold me.”
 She trembled in his arms, months of exhaustion, fear, pain, and heartache expressing themselves. 
 “I’m sorry Jamie. I’m so sorry. I - the stones.” 
 “What’re you apologising for lass?” He choked out. “Claire -the bairn?” She couldn’t meet his eyes. 
 She felt the need to run and hide as she did in the arbor of Fontainebleau. She didn’t want to face what was before her, what was behind. How could she let Jamie forgive her when she couldn’t herself? As if she were putting a sheet of metal between her and her heart, she suddenly felt nothing. 
 “She’s dead.” She said simply, staring at a chipped stone on the ground. 
 This time Jamie did collapse, and took Claire tumbling down to his lap. They held tight to one another, and Claire was the one to comfort him now. His tears soaked the wool of her bodice as he rocked them back and forth on the steps. When his eyes couldn’t produce anymore tears, he slowly peeked out of his shell. Jamie rose slowly from his spot on the steps when the sun crawled below the horizon and carried her with him to the Laird’s room. 
 Claire stripped him down to his sark and was prepared to ask for water, when she saw someone had already completed the task. She resumed her task and shed his final layer, exposing his naked body. It was filthy and covered in scratches, but beautiful to her all the same. When she began to direct him into the washing tub, he objected and began to take off her clothes with a practiced hand. As he reached for the final string of her shift, she moved his hand away. 
 “No, tonight I bathe you.” 
 She pushed him down into the small tub and his knees poked out of the water. The ewer sat on the wooden table near the tub, and she plucked it up with her fingers. She grabbed a sponge as well, and began her ministrations, leaning over the lip of the tub to reach him. She grabbed some scissors as well, trimming the beard that had grown over the months in the woods. 
 “Can ye ever forgive me?” A dejected Jamie asked. 
 “For what?” She knew, but she wanted to hear the words coming from him. 
 “For sending you through those stones, for breaking our family.” 
 “I already have.” 
 “What did she- Was she like her sister?” 
 “I don’t know.” Claire worried at her lip. “I- um. I lost her when I went through the stones. I only know she was a girl, because I felt her presence when I came back. She said she loves us.” She began to scrub harder against Jamie’s arm with the sponge to distract herself. 
 The pang in his chest nearly brought his head below surface of the water. All the air in his lungs fled and he was left with nothing. He stopped Claire’s arm and brought her hand to his, squeezing it tight. 
 “Will you ever forgive me?” 
 “Fer what lass?”
 “Not being strong enough. Not protecting her in the one way I could. Not returning to you soon enough.” 
 “I’ve already forgiven ye for anything ye could ever possibly do. And yer not to blame for any of those.” 
 “Then you’re not either. If there is, it’s God for being a cruel bastard. You say you can forgive me for anything, but I’m not sure I can give you what we want anymore.” 
 “What I want is you by my side. Come in the water Sassenach, let me hold my wife. Let me carry this burden wi’ ye.” 
 With the dim light of the fire and candles dotting the room, she was confident he wouldn’t be able to see her body fully. She slugged out of her shift, weighed down by weeks of exhaustion and crawled in between his legs. Water splashed out of the top of the tub, but they paid it no mind. Jamie repeated the ministrations Claire had provided for him, but even more gently on her smooth skin. When she began to doze off tucked safely between his thighs in the water, they were both wrinkly like prunes. Jamie carried her body wrapped tight around his, and placed her on the fresh sheets. 
 He held her naked on their bed. The smooth skin of her back was pressed against the soft tufts of hair on his chest. They needed to talk, but for now, neither wanted to leave the warm bubble of each other’s arms. Jamie was still processing what it all meant, and so was Claire, even after months of enduring it herself. No words could repair the loss they both felt, and the heartache of time spent apart. It would just feel like a hollow repetition of events after their first born. But tonight they would just simply be. Claire looked down at her sleeping husband. For the first time in months, she felt safe. She lightly traced the skin of his face, from temple to cheek, and saw the familiar smile ghost his peaceful rest. She spread a grin in response, the first one that reached her eyes in months.
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One Photo → Mark Lee [9] [END]
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↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader
↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.
↳  Warning: angst if you squint
↳  Word count: 2,857
↳  Chapters: Prelude | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | You Are Here!
⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TUESDAY - 9
Day by day, things got steadily worse. Your body was constantly giving out, you had trouble breathing, and whenever you ate something, you always managed to throw it back up. The weight loss and iron deficiency you had developed after the last periods you’ve had led to four clinic visits and one hospital scare. You tried to play it off to your boss, but enough was enough and you knew you were going to be let go.
It took a lot of thinking, but you had finally decided to do what you had to. So, there you stood, taping the last box closed. You had sold your final possession besides your bed and your oldest camera, handing the sealed box to the buyer who had been standing in your kitchen. “Thank you,” he said, smiling gently at you. “This is gonna make my daughter really happy. I…” he cleared his throat awkwardly; “I hope that you get better soon.” 
You nodded, holding your breath for a moment to avoid coughing in his direction. “Of course. I hope she uses that camera well, it helped me a lot when I started college.” 
After he left, you looked over the bare-boned atmosphere of your apartment. Your coffee table was gone, your bookshelf, your easel. Your little television, table and chair, and nearly all of your glassware and cutlery had been sold as well. Walking into your room, the only things that were left were your tote of movies with all of Mark’s cards and letters tucked inside, and a backpack with a second outfit, toiletries and your camera stuffed in it. Even your bed was stripped just to the bottom sheet, the summer hot enough and your fever high enough that you didn’t need blankets anyway. Today was finally the day you had finally procured enough money for a plane ticket, a one-way trip that hopefully would relieve the pain in your heart and the crushing pressure in your head. 
While you lay in your bed, waiting for the night to pass, your phone, one of the last things you had to keep with you, buzzed. Rhiannon: How are you doing
You: I can never tell anymore
Rhiannon: Johnny, Hyuckie and I are going to meet you at the airport tomorrow. Mark’s getting pretty bad
Worry filled your chest, and you frowned at your screen.
You: Is he going to be okay? Rhiannon: we don’t know. He’s completely bedridden, I just hope that you don’t end up that way before your flight. I’m worried that they might not even let you on. 
You: I have to try
Rhiannon: I know…  
Rhiannon: I’ll see you soon, okay? I miss you
You: I miss you too. 
At this point, getting onto your flight was the least of your worries. After putting down your phone, you mad managed to get about ten minutes of rest before you had to run to your bathroom to throw up the measly dinner you had put together with the small food budget you had set for yourself. Once you were sure your stomach had settled, you went back into your backpack and pulled out your toothbrush, returning to the bathroom to clean out your mouth.
Looking into the mirror above your sink, you noticed how bad you had really gotten. Your cheeks were hollow, your skin pale and underneath your sunken eyes were the works dark circles you’ve ever had. You brushed as slowly as you could, hoping that you wouldn’t start to feel nauseous again. After spitting and rinsing out the sink, you decided that maybe it would be better to just get up and go to the airport now. 
You left your house key for the landlord on your kitchen counter with a note about where the spare was, stepping outside and locking the house with the spare, hiding it under your doormat before heading toward the elevator and beginning your journey. 
Occasionally you’d lose your footing, your balance off and your legs weak. You would grab onto the wall to steady yourself, hoping that you wouldn’t pass out. About an hour of subway and streetcar riding, you finally made it to the airport. It was chilling to see so many eyes on you. You knew that coming in this condition would get you multiple looks and passing disgusted faces, but you felt like you were passed feeling embarrassed. The teller looked at you sympathetically when you asked for the Delta non-stop flight to Incheon.
“Soulmate?” She asked, tilting her head curiously when you slid her your ID and your debit card, all of the money you had from selling your things on it. Just enough to pay for your ticket. 
“Yeah. Almost two years since I’ve seen him.” “My God,” she gasped, typing away on her keyboard. “It’s good you’re going now, I could never survive being away from my soulmate for that long. I was away from mine for a month when he was on a business trip and I was hospitalized!” 
“I’m sorry to hear that,” you rasp, watching her smile sadly in your direction. “I hope things go well for you. Have a safe flight to South Korea.” She slid your ticket, debit card, ID and itinerary over her desk, watching you slowly reach out to grab it. “Get lots of rest when you land.” “Thank you, I’ll try.” Feeling a little more pleasant after being wished well, you continued on your way. Through customs, the security check and the passport check, you did your best to keep back any coughing and the creeping feeling of nausea that was beginning to overwhelm you. Finally, you arrived in the boarding area, taking a seat with your bag on the floor, in between your knees. It was still a while before your plane would even arrive, so you plugged in your phone and decided to watch a movie. 
Night crept over the lounge, the windows displaying a slowly setting sun. After your movie ended you kept yourself occupied by watching the planes come and go until the tarmac was lit up with guiding lights that looked like stars. 
‘Flight from Toronto to Incheon nonstop now boarding.’
Finally.
You stumbled along and waited in your line, looking at your seat number. It was near the back of the plane, which would be loud, but at least it was close to the bathroom. The boarding attendant gave you a look with squinted eyes, but he still scanned your ticket, looked at your passport and let you go through.
Down the hallway, your legs gave out and your body clattered to the floor. “Hey, are you alright!?” Someone behind you came running up, gently taking your arm and helping you off the floor. “Jeez, you just toppled over!” She observed you, holding you steady. “You’re nothing but skin and bones…” “Sorry,” you apologize, hoping that you’d stay upright when she let your arm go. “I haven’t been doing the best lately.” “That’s okay,” she assured you. “Don’t you worry one bit.” Cautiously, she began walking with you, holding out her hands as if she was expecting you to fall again. “Why are you here and not at home, resting?” 
“I, well... this is soulmate sickness,” you explain cautiously. “My soulmate is doing worse than I am, and I decided to sell everything I own to buy a one-way ticket. I’m going to see him.” 
“Man,” she breathed, “I can’t imagine what that’s like.”
You let out a small, hollow laugh. “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.” “What seat are you?” “39-A.” 
“Oh,” she smiled at you, just as the plane entrance was coming into view. “I’m 39-B! I’ll help you put your backpack up, okay?”
“Thank you,” 
She smiled at you. “My pleasure.”
The hostess greeted you both when your new friend helped you board, watching with stunned eyes as you passed her. You both made your way to the back of the plane. You slipped off your backpack and she put both hers and your carry on into the compartment above you. “Do you want the window seat, or will that make you nauseous?” She asked, tilting her head to the side with an empathetic smile. “Would you be okay with switching? I’m supposed to have the window, but..” 
“Yeah, I’m totally fine with it! Here, sit down with me.” Once you both were seated, she held your hand. “So, what’s your name?” 
“It’s (Y/N),” you answer slowly, giving her a smile when you feel her hand take yours. It had been so long since someone had given you any physical affection. “I’m Nia,” she grinned. “It’s nice to meet you!” 
“Nice to meet you, too.”
After the plane took off, Nia did everything she could for you. She made sure you had a blanket, water, and she even had wipes in her purse that she kept on your forehead to make sure your fever stayed down. Nia talked with you about her boyfriend, showing you part of her scar that was on the back of her neck. She told the story about the last time she was in Korea, lost and out of her depth. Wonseo, her soulmate, had bumped into her, not paying enough attention to avoid her when she stopped to try and read a street sign. She, in turn, had a scar on her back and on her scalp, while his, funnily enough, was on the top part of his chest and his nose.
When you told her about meeting Mark and your own scar, her happy grin only seemed to grow wider. “I’m a fan,” she admitted, “and I’m guessing you haven’t been keeping up with media because before he stopped his activities, he started wearing that Star Wars sweater everywhere. Everyone knew it was from you since the first time he ever had it with him was in Pearson two years ago. I knew I recognized you, but dang, girl. You look terrible compared to then.” 
You smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I tend to stay away from it all now, it just stresses me out.” She nodded understandingly. “Have you thought about the Gold Ceremony? Wonseo and I are actually in the process of planning ours, and I’m on my way home from meeting a bridesmaid that still lives in Canada.” 
“I haven’t really thought about that yet,” you answer honestly. “It’s all so nerve-wracking, don’t you think?” 
Nia shrugged. “I suppose your situation is a little different from everyone else’s, so I understand the aversion. I love the romance of it all, you know? Gold coating your scars so that everyone can see it as a sign of your commitment? Ah, it’s so exciting!”
“Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to ask him,” you say quietly, smiling at Nia. 
“Only if you’re comfortable, girl. Having your entire chest exposed to everyone around you may be a little weird even if you are getting married, y’know?” 
You chuckle. “Yeah, that’s true.” 
You kept little conversations going, occasionally stopping to take small naps. The two of you also exchanged numbers, and you felt happy that you had made a new friend. Eventually, daylight began to peek through the windows of the plane, signalling the time change and that you would soon arrive in Korea. 
Truthfully, no matter what Nia did for you, you only felt worse. You smiled and held back your nausea, but you could feel that as every moment passed, you declined further and further into your sickness. When the flight landed, you were happy that the sense of vertigo was gone, but you weren’t sure how long you would last without passing out. “Want me to help you through customs?” Nia asked once the seatbelt sign was turned off. She helped you stand, taking down your backpack for you and securing it on your shoulders. “I don’t want to be a burden on you,” you said quickly, grasping the seats as you made your way up to exit the plane.
“You’re far from that,” Nia reassured. “I won’t be able to stay with you the whole time, I just want to make sure that you make it to the people waiting for you okay. You said three of your friends were coming to meet you?” “Yeah,” you nod, thanking the hostess quietly as you pass her. “Thank you, Nia.” “Anything for a friend.” Slowly but surely, Nia helped you through the check-in and declaration stations, leading you through each step. Once you both got your passports checked, she turned and smiled at you. “I have to go get my suitcase now. Be safe and keep in touch, okay?” Nia hugged you ever so gently, before waving and taking her lead in the opposite direction you were to go, making her way to grab her suitcase off the conveyer. 
“See you,” you called behind her, steeling your nerve. You could make it. While you could barely read the directions with your now blurring vision, you managed to make it to the meeting area. Just barely in your line of sight were Rhiannon, Donghyuck and Johnny, holding up a rainbow sign with your name on it. You felt your chest flare-up, and if it was due to your sickness or your happiness you couldn’t tell, but you still began making your way toward them, smiling and waving.
That was until your body finally gave in. ~ “(Y/N)!” Rhiannon immediately dropped the sign and made a beeline for you as you toppled to the ground, Johnny and Donghyuck not far behind. She grit her teeth, doing her best to turn you over and hold you.
Donghyuck reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, ready to call an emergency number if Rhiannon couldn’t determine that you were breathing. He sighed with relief, luckily the airport was mostly empty and nobody would crowd you. “Is she okay?” Johnny knelt down beside her, looking on with worry. Rhiannon quickly checked your pulse and held her hand above your mouth. “Seems like she just passed out, she’s still breathing.” She breathed a sigh of relief, placing a hand over her chest. 
Johnny breathed a sigh of relief. “We should get her home, then. I’ll carry her, you grab her backpack.” 
Rhiannon nodded and slowly took your backpack off while Johnny picked you up. “Let’s go.” 
~
Everyone was waiting in the living room for Johnny and Rhiannon to return with you, after hearing them explain what happened when Taeyong called to check-in. They knew they couldn’t tell Mark about what happened since his condition was not much better. He was in his room, nearly unaware of everyone sitting and waiting with bated breath. Yuta and Jungwoo stood up quickly when the door handle turned and opened, revealing Rhiannon and Donghuck. Johnny followed in close behind, you in his arms, barely conscious.
“Hi, everyone,” you rasped, smiling as best you could, with lidded eyes. 
“(Y/N),” Doyoung stood. “We’ve all missed you.” 
“Yeah,” Jungwoo agreed. “We’re glad you’re home.” 
“Thank you,” your words were soft, laboured. “Where’s Mark?” You looked up at Johnny tiredly. Johnny smiled gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll take you to him. Let’s go.” 
You did your best to stay awake, suddenly beginning to feel a little better. Soon you both came across a door, the door slightly ajar. Johnny pushed it open gently with his foot.
“Guess who’s here?” He called into the room, and as soon as you lay eyes on Mark, you felt both simultaneously happy and guilty. Mark was skin and bones like you were, hollow cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. He was shivering as he struggled to sit up, large and thick blankets slowly shifting as he moved. “(Y/N),” he said, his lips forming the most endearing smile. “(Y/N), you’re here,” 
“Yeah, I’m here.” Johnny carried you to Mark’s bed, gently placing you down next to him in the spot where he had just barely pulled back the blankets. You had your head laying on Mark’s chest as soon as Johnny put you down, Mark’s arm immediately wrapping around you. You both breathed in a deep sigh of relief, and you felt your nose beginning to clear up. “You could probably use some water. I’ll be back.” Johnny quietly left the room, and as soon as the door shut, you couldn’t think of anything to say. 
You felt life coming back to you, but the long flight and the months of hardship still weighed heavy on you. You knew that this was your condition because you were struggling, and you had just sacrificed everything to be here. Now, on top of being sick, you were dirt poor. But, at least you were with your soulmate, and at least you were with all of your friends. At least you finally felt like you weren’t dying. “You can sleep,” you hear Mark whisper as he moved his other arm to touch your face. “I can tell you’re tired.” 
You smiled weakly. “Okay, as long as you sleep too.” Mark laughed softly. “Agreed.”
Not long after, the door creaked open once again. Johnny had come back with a glass of water, followed by Rhiannon. Johnny placed the glass of water on the nightstand next to your bed, while Rhiannon watched you and Mark sleep for a moment, holding the small framed photo in her hands, the one that started it all. She placed it next to the glass of water, adjusting it so you would see it when you woke up.
“Sleep well.”
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ak47stylegirl · 3 years
Text
Well today was horrible, this cold seemed to get progressively worse as the day went on. I didn’t have the strength or energy to get out of bed today, I just felt too sick.
My bed has become a true mess of tissues, and I have gone through I think almost half of the tissue box, I really hope I don’t run out 😣
Mentally imagining that Scott is here and trying to look after me is helping a fraction but I’m really not doing very good. I was able to eat a sausage roll for breakfast which I had picked up yesterday but didn’t end up eating.
I also ended up using my nasal spray, which I haven’t used before and I don’t really know if it works or not, but woah did my nose feel so weird afterwards.
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As for my coursework, I was unable to do anything more than two more colour designs for my print. My head and nose was making me feel so horrible that doing anything else was impossible. (Plus I had Scott in my head pleading with me to rest, that I was really not well enough to be doing this. And yeah, he was right but with this cold, rest isn’t easy to get unfortunately 😭)
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After that I tried to get some sleep but it wasn’t coming, I kept needing to blow my nose and my sinuses were just hurting so badly. Also I been drinking so much water today, which is unusual for me and such needing to go to the bathroom more often. Which meant I needed to get out of bed 😩
Seeing how sleep wasn’t working, i decided to maybe try and make a doctors appointment (plus get a COVID test) but try to figure out what to do, plus find a place that was open on a Saturday so I could call them to ask what I had to do was headache inducing 😭
I finally found a respiratory clinic that I could make an appointment with, I think it’s just a COVID test clinic but I’ll ask if I can get a doctors certificate for tafe (school) as either way I’m not going to be able to make it to class this week. But yeah I got appointment for Monday afternoon.
After that big mess, I decided that while I was on the phone, I should contact my building stuff and let them know I’m unwell as that is what you’re supposed to do. They were really nice about it, the leader resident I talked to on the phone brought some fruit up to my room ☺️
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Another stuff member rang me afterwards to just clarify what’s going on and I told them that I’m going for a COVID test on Monday. They were really nice and said that if I ordered food, they would bring it up to my room. Which is so good of them!
Anyway after that, I really did try and get some sleep, and even though it took a while, my face feeling so puffy and congested it was painful (still is 🥺🤧😭) I was able to slip into a slight sleep.
I woke up hours later, around six and I really didn’t think it was possible but I felt worse! My nose felt more stuffed up, my head feeling really foggy and horrible. I also started to develop a cough, and I felt feverish and clammy but I had no clue of knowing if it’s actually a fever as I don’t have a thermometer 😩 (I don’t normally get fevers, I never really did, so I honestly don’t have a basis to go off of here)
So really there was no way I was cook tonight, so I ordered McDonald and they brought it up to my room when it arrived.
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I don’t know how to say how truly grateful I am to my building’s stuff, I honestly wasn’t in the condition to go outside to pick up my order or to even attempt making something for myself.
After food, well I just laid in bed a bit more, watching a little bit of YouTube but truly feeling too sick to focus. I also FaceTime home, wanting to see my puppy as I was really missing her. She’s a cute little thing, here’s a photo of her from a while ago.
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Anyway that bring me to now, where I am laying in bed just feeling so horrible. I haven’t felt this sick in so long, it’s truly horrible 😩🤧🤒😭
Today and I imagine this weekend just isn’t going the way I planned, I was supposed to catch up on a lot of things this weekend and actually get myself on track but instead I’m here in bed with no energy, my eyes all watery, my head and sincus hurting so badly, a cough developing, unable to sleep because of the things listed above but also because I’m constantly mopping and blowing my runny nose! 😭
@misssquidtracy @godsliltippy
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elllamalaka · 3 years
Text
I’m so Glad You’re Home
It was late, but not exceedingly so, when Kate finally banged through the apartment door she shared with Elizabeth and got out of the steady, unrelenting rain that had fallen all day, or apparently, all weekend. She was nearly soaked.
Kate was quite excited to arrive back after the working weekend. On Friday evening as she was packing Elizabeth had arrived home with a new head cold. She had some misty and very cute sneezes, and blew her nose a few times. Her voice was just a touch stuffy. It made their last evening together an experience.
"Did you catch that just so I wouldn't want to leave you?" asked Kate as Elizabeth covered her third, very sexy and feminine sneeze with a white satin handkerchief.
Elizabeth giggled behind her hanky as she wiped her nose and blew the runniness. "I'm glad you like my cold. But I couldn't help but catch this," she tapped her nose delicately with a finger. "Every girl in my office is sniffling or sneezing, and a few have coughs. I'm really surprised I didn't catch it sooner."
Kate gently kissed Elizabeth's nose and drew her close, whispering to her, "you've caught the loveliest cold in the loveliest nose. I wish I could bless every sneeze."
Elizabeth giggled again and Kate could hear slight congestion in her nose which she promptly sniffled up. "If you blessed all my sneezes you'd end up a very sick girl. It's an exhausting job because I'm sneezing all the time and you'd likely catch my cold in the process. So you'd be sick and trying to complete an impossible task," Elizabeth gave Kate a playful smirk and sniffled her nose again.
"Do you promise I'll catch your cold if I try?" Kate said, now a touch longing in her question. She wrapped her arms around Elizabeth again and kissed her nose. This time the kiss provoked a tickle in Elizabeth's nose and the turned away to sneeze into her satin hanky.
"Bless you," Kate said, her voice low and longing now. Elizabeth looked up from her hanky, smiled, and blew her nose.
How she wanted to stay with Elizabeth and try and bless every sneeze, catch a miserable cold for her efforts, and end up sick in bed. But alas, she had to fly away for work this evening and she wouldn't be back until Sunday night. And Elizabeth had volunteered this weekend to help set up the Valentine's Day display in the park, anyway, so she was busy all day on Saturday and Sunday.
Yes, that was correct. The temperature was near zero and Elizabeth was going to be working outside in the park all weekend. With a cold.
The thought almost made Kate swoon. And Elizabeth seemed completely oblivious to the implications.
"You'd get bored in the park all weekend. Besides, it's supposed to rain. You wouldn't want to get soaking wet just to bless my sneezes, would you?"
Kate let out a long, lusty sigh and smiled longingly at Elizabeth. She was just nearly perfect. But it was time to leave for work.
"Take care of your cold," she'd said as she walked out the door.
"It's just a little head cold, I'll be fine," Elizabeth had replied with a sniffle. She held her hanky clasped to her nose as she waved goodbye.
But now it was late Sunday and Kate was back home. She'd gotten sparse updates from Elizabeth. Both women were very busy and scarcely had a second to herself, even late Saturday. Elizabeth had sent her a text Saturday morning that read
I just woke up and spent the last ten minutes sneezing and blowing my nose. hbu?
Around midmorning she sent
I had to take a little break. I fell asleep for a few minutes. I am exhausted and my head is throbbing. It doesn't help that I'm soaking wet and freezing
At lunch it was:
I'm pretty sure I'm running a fever and I am running out of tissues. My nose is almost completely stopped up
After lunch it was:
Miranda has been helping me out. She's a little bit sick, too. We've been sharing tissues and cough drops. My throat is so sore right now
Neither woman texted for several hours. Kate tried to call her that evening but the call went unanswered. Not less than a minute later Elizabeth texted:
hey sorry, it's super loud in here and my throat is really sore so I didn't want to talk. What's up?
Their text exchange led to Kate learning several things. First, Elizabeth had volunteered to serve wine at a function for the park tonight. She was inside now, thankfully, but she had a really bad cold. She was treating her sore throat with red wine, which seemed to be helping. But all the talking was not helping.
Kate wanted to talk to Elizabeth but she fell asleep before they could connect that night. She was awoken by her alarm. There was still no word from Elizabeth since Saturday. But while she showered that morning Elizabeth texted her.
dear lord, I just woke up and I sound like utter shit
your girl is very sick today!
And so she called her and on the end of the line she didn't hear the voice of her girlfriend pick up but instead that of a very deep-voiced woman.
"Good morning, girl," was the bassy, but female greeting. It was followed by a very wet, hacking cough.
This was not some random woman on Elizabeth's phone with a deep voice. This was Elizabeth on Elizabeth's phone with a deep voice.
"Liz..." Kate began, very tentatively. She could not believe that her love sounded like this. She had a bad cough and her voice was so different she didn't even recognize her.
"I've got a really sore throat and it's making my voice sound like this," and her voice was so deep and husky but squeaked wildly when she tried to say 'voice.'
Suddenly, a huge sneezing fit seized Liz's clogged sinuses. From Kate's perspective it sounded squeaky and hoarse. It ended with protracted coughing followed by a very productive nose blew.
"Scuse me," she rasped when she was able to speak again.
It was time for Kate to leave for work but she wanted to chat more with Liz. Her voice was so deep and luscious, and her cough so well developed. Liz was really sick this morning. She had bad colds in her head and chest.
Liz was feeling too miserable to go back to the park, and had resigned herself to a sick day before work on Monday. She was running a 102 fever and was dozing in bed between sneezing and coughing fits.
Unfortunately for Liz, she was not going to get a lot of rest this Sunday. Not long after she'd fallen back asleep she got a spam call. She silenced her phone but as she fell asleep again she was awoken this time by a brief blast of music from the neighbors. It was silenced quickly but not before Liz was fully awake and coughing again.
There were interruptions all morning. The park ground crew had to drop by and pick up some nametags she had. "Oh my gosh Liz, you sound awful!" A pizza delivery girl got the wrong building and knocked on her door. She practically ran away just at the sound of Liz's cough as it was starting to turn barking by now. Some random strange sound woke her in the afternoon and her head was pounding. She didn't get much sleep after that.
But Liz dozed before Kate got home and only the door opening woke her. Kate stood in the doorway, rain dripping from her clothes. She'd been busy all day and was ready to relax, hopefully with Liz.
The first thing Kate heard when she was home was the ragged, congested barking cough that Elizabeth boomed from her bedroom.
"Holy shit," thought Kate, her head turning immediately to Elizabeth's bedroom at the sound. "Elizabeth has a terrible cough," she thought as she listened to a fit of barks. Her cough sounded much louder and barky than it had this morning. Whatever she'd caught had gotten worse today.
The barking coughs continued, a haggard nose blow thrown between. Elizabeth's light clicked on. Kate could hear the coughing grow closer. It finally stopped and Elizabeth's bedroom door opened. She walked out bundled in her puffiest bathrobe. Her eyes were bloodshot and barely open. Her nose was a crusty, red mess, down even to her upper lip. Her lips were cracked and chapped as well. Elizabeth inhaled through her mouth, breath wheezing and warbling and it went. She put a hand gently to her chest and barely managed to scrape out a "Hey girl, welcome home," her voice was a mixture of husky wheezing whispers interspersed with hoarse honks at odd intervals. A barking cough fit followed her attempt to talk.
Kate stood, water dripping off her shivered body, barely able to stand. The sight and sound of Elizabeth was making her weak in the knees. She was atrociously sick and could barely even talk now. Her cough was downright scary. She reached a tentative hand towards Elizabeth as her fit subsided. "Liz," she began, quiet and concerned, "my gosh girl, you sound just awful."
Elizabeth nodded, her head turned slightly away. She pulled a tissue from her robe pocket and put and end lazily under her battered nose. She blew but only a congested, clogged sound came from her nose. She winced in pain, holding her head. Then she looked directly at Kate and said, as best as she could, "I'm so glad you're home," and then broke into another hard barking cough fit.
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Text
Red - Jaskier x Reader
Summary: The fear of losing the person who means the world to you and a wedding that comes out of it.
Request by: a lovely anon <3 “Can you write a romantic Jaskier x female reader story, where him and the reader get married?” I hope you enjoy it, anon! I put (just a little) drama in there but tried to keep if mainly romantic. Thank you so much for the request, I had a lot of fun writing it!
A/N: You guys gave me so much positive feedback on my last Witcher story so here comes the next! Hope you enjoy it!
Words: 1733 Pairing: Jaskier x Reader Warnings: mention of blood, a little angst and a lot of fluff
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“You could have died!” Jaskier paced back and forth, a strained expression on his face. “I could have been in the midst of funeral preparations right now! I could be choosing your tombstone right this moment because of your stubbornness and your apparent lack of survival instincts!”
“Could have, would have,” you mumbled, not looking up at him. Instead you wiped your blade on your cloak. It was ruined anyway, you noticed. Torn apart, covered in dirt and blood – there was no way you’d be able to save it. Damn. This was the second one this week. A heavy sigh left your lips before you got up with a groan. Your whole body was hurting and you felt exhausted, craving a hot bath and something to eat.
“Are you making fun of me?” Jaskier snapped. “Or are you not taking this seriously? Honestly, Y/N, I don’t what’s worse!”
Truth be told, you had never seen him so angry. His arms were flailing around from gesticulating wildly and his face was a deeper shade of red than your favorite kind of wine. However, after being on the hunt for over a day, you had no interest in fighting with him. You wanted to get home. 
“And now you’re ignoring me!” Jaskier scoffed. “Geralt!” He turned around to the Witcher who was standing a few feet away, examining Roach for injuries. “Y/N is ignoring me!”
“Can’t blame her,” was the dry reply.
You wanted to smile at that comment but guessed that it wouldn’t be very constructive in the current situation. “Look, Jaskier,” you began. “I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to scare you but you know I can take care of myself.” 
Jaskier crossed his arms in front of his chest. “This has nothing to do with taking care of yourself, Y/N. You jumped from a damn tree to land right in their nest while these monsters fed on a bear!”
He was right. It was a dangerous and any other person would probably be dead right about now. However, you weren’t any other person. You were a skilled fighter who knew what she was doing and when to back down from a battle. After all, this wasn’t the first time you accompanied the Witcher on a hunt.
The first time you saw Jaskier and Geralt was less than two years ago when they came to your village, badly wounded and searching for a healer. Your family took care of them, tending to their bruises and cuts and it didn’t take long for you to develop a soft spot for the funny bard who kept cracking jokes even when he was feverish and in pain. Twenty days later and you bargained with the two men to take you with them on their journey. You craved more than a simple life in the small village where their arrival was the most exciting thing in years. While Jaskier was hesitant but secretly loved the idea of keeping you around, Geralt was strictly opposed to it. Well, you followed them anyways and one dead monster later that you saved them from while they were sound asleep made him change his mind. “You can apparently hold a sword, so don’t expect me to come to your rescue if something goes wrong,” Geralt had said grimly later that night. “Handle it yourself.” 
The bard and you were inseparable since then, falling in love with each other hard and fast. A life without him seemed like a life not worth living anymore. So it pained you to see how your actions hurt him. You reached forward to take his hands. “Jaskier, I find none of this amusing and I take your concerns were serios,” you assured him. “I can see how this must have been terrifying for you. I’m sorry.”
“Then why do you keep fighting them? Every time you leave with Geralt, I’m scared it’ll be the last time I see you alive,” he sounded more vulnerable now than ever.
A soft smile appeared on your face. “You know why.” After you leaned in to give him a soothing kiss, you whispered: “I love you. I love you so much, Jaskier. I promise you won’t lose my by the hand or paw or claw of any monster.”
“You can’t promise me that, Y/N,” he stated. Yet the tension in his composure gave way and he put his arms around your back.
“I’ll do my best then,” you replied and let him embrace you completely. Being in his arms like this made you feel like home. It was true, Jaskier was your home now. Everything you ever wanted and more. You considered yourself lucky beyond words to be with a man as wonderful as him.
“I love you,” he whispered. “And you ruined my night.”
“What?” You blinked in confusion and looked at him. His left eyebrow was raised and you couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. You had thought, the fight was over.
“I said you ruined my night,” Jaskier repeated himself and pouted a little. “My night and my day. I had so much planned for us. For you.”
“Planned? Why?” Was today important? His birthday maybe? No, that was still months away. You tilted your head slightly, furrowing your brows while desperately trying to remember why today was important.
Suddenly Jaskier let go of you and took a step back. His eyes were focused on the ground as he nervously cleared his throat. “I don’t believe there’ll be a better time. Who knows what monster is lurking behind the next tree.”
At this point, you were thoroughly baffled. “Jas-“
“Y/N,” he cut you off and began rummaging through the pockets of his jacket. When he found the item he was apparently looking for, he paused again. And then he slowly got down on knee.
Oh.
Nervously, Jaskier cleared his throat he second time. When he began speaking, his voice was shaking just a little. „Y/N, I fell in love with you about two seconds after I first laid eyes on you and even though some people –,” he glared in Geralts direction, “– insisted that it was only the fever talking, I knew it wasn’t.”
You looked down and finally realized what laid in the palm of his hand. The most stunning ring on this continent if not the world with a dark red gemstone, reflecting the last sunrays of the day. You swallowed hard.
“I wrote a song for this exact moment,” Jaskier continued and let out a chuckle. “Now, I don’t believe that any lyric, any poetry, can express how I feel for you. Y/N …”
You kept your gaze focused on the man kneeling in front of. Tears dwelled up in your eyes and it took every ounce of willpower in your body to hold them back.
“Y/N, will you marry me and take me as your husband?”
***
The moments after the proposal were a blur. You flung your arms around him while saying “yes” and “of course” and “I love you” over and over. He grinned from ear to ear, pure happiness radiating from him. You kissed. It was a long and passionate kiss and you probably would have stayed there, in the woods, for hours if it weren’t for the tired and slightly-annoyed Witcher standing near you.
“Congratulations, but are you done?”
The both of you broke the kiss and laughed at this question.
“I’m hungry,” Geralt added dryly, ignoring your reaction. However, when you looked at him, you could have sworn you caught him smiling a little.
***
The engagement was shorter than expected. Way shorter. To be specific – it lasted for exactly three hours. Jaskier was right, you thought, why wait any longer? In this world, death was lurking behind every corner. So the two of you decided upon arriving in the small village that you wanted to get married right this evening.
Geralt made the request to at least take a bath beforehand and have something to bite. You agreed with him considering your clothes were still ripped and smelling like blood and intestines.
“No, Jaskier,” you whispered and playfully pushed him back. The two of you stood in front of your room.
“You’re a tease,” your fiancé replied and pulled you in for another kiss. You happily obliged and sighed when he slightly parted his lips. Jaskier pressed himself against your body and you let out a sharp breath when you felt something very hard through the thin fabric of his pants. “Tell me again how you don’t want me to come inside your room,” he mumbled with a husky voice.
“We’re getting married in an hour …” 
“So?”
You chuckled. “Have you noticed the way I look?” You gripped him by his collar, softly planting kisses down his neck.
“You’re tormenting me, woman,” he groaned, closing his eyes. A shiver ran down your spine. Oh, how you wanted him to come inside ...
Without another word you swiftly looked back up and planted a last wistful kiss on his lips before quickly disappearing inside your room, locking it from the inside.
“Well,” you heard Jaskier say from the other side of the door. “That is mean.”
“Save it for the wedding night,” you chuckled.
“Oh, I will, darling. Believe me.”
*** 
One hour later you were standing in front of Jaskier, wearing a bright smile on your face. Your dark red dress matched the beautiful engagement ring on your left hand perfectly. Torches burning brightly around you lit up the night and the smell of wildflowers was still lingering in the air.
The ceremony took place on the outskirts of the village on a small field. It was short and sweet and perfect. To your surprise, Jaskier had found someone to officiate the wedding even at this ungodly hour. There were no guests present, except of course Geralt who – for the first time in quite a while – couldn’t stop smiling. He was happy for the two of you.
Two years ago, you had been living on a farm with your family. A woman who didn’t seem to fit in anywhere until a Witcher and his bard stumbled onto your fields. Today you were looking at your best friend, your greatest love, your soulmate as you promised each other love and a future together. Oh, how the times had changed.
***
My Masterlist
Tag list: @just-antiyou​ , @sarah-midnight​
If you want to be added to my tag list, message me! <3
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fangirl-on-bitches · 4 years
Text
Bitter Gurney
Obi-Wan x FemaleDoctor!Reader Part 2
Word count: 2827
Part 1
Summary: Someone is hurt and the reader needs to patch them up. Anakin is a little shit (and Ahsoka too)
Tag list: @scarletsoldierrr​ @langst-is-my-unborn-baby
Warnings: a looooooot of dialogue and yes, this should have a part three because Anakin is a little shit. This has like no plot or character development lol. Have another gif to appease the awful writing:
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How long had she been here? (Y/N) had already lost count of her days in the ship. After Waxer’s surgery, the Jedi and their troops had to continue with battles not far from where the cruise was. It was quiet and awfully boring, the doctor spent most of her days reading, training nurses, studying and staring at the endless space thinking about her new Jedi friends.
It almost seemed forever when she got a call from the admiral, warning her that the battle ships were coming back with probably some injured people. (Y/N) felt a little guilty for feeling that rush of adrenaline she was feeling, fueling her preparations and orders she started to give all the nurses and droids on the floor. She expected moderate injuries, and prepared for at least one possible dangerous case. The surgery room was already prepared and the gurneys waiting, Doctor Wilhar in full uniform. Soon, the infirmary was flowing with life, many troopers were in need of a stitch or two, but thankfully no one needed surgery.
As she was finishing patching up a soldier, she looked how Anakin and Ahsoka carried Obi-Wan. (Y/N) almost ran, fearing he would be the surgical case. “What do we have here?” She asked as she got closer. Ahsoka then spoke:
“A blaster wound in his left side, I think it grazed him.” (Y/N) in full doctor mode called a gurney, checking Obi-Wan’s vitals. Steady heart beat and even breathing, perhaps a little agitated.
“How are you feeling General?” She asked, opening the door of a private room where she would be able to asses the situation further.
“I’m fine.” He said flinching a little bit when he moved to sit up. (Y/N) pushed his chest backwards, making him lay down.
“Of course you are. I need everyone to exit the room.” She simply said, Anakin and Ahsoka leaving a little reluctantly. “I’ll take off your top robes, I hope that’s okay.” She warned, not waiting for a response as she slipped her gloves on. Dr. Wilhar didn’t flinch at his gun wound, she had seen worse. “This needs some stitches, but it is superficial damage, you’ll be fine.” She assured, looking for the stitching kit and anesthesia. “Don’t worry, I’ll anesthetize this part, so you won’t feel  a thing.”
“It’s alright darling.” (Y/N) ignored the pet name, as she started to work, fully concentrated.
“Rough fight?” She asked, trying to make conversation and relax Obi-Wan, as she inserted the syringe with anesthesia.
“Not really.” He simply said.
“Then how come you got hurt?” She questioned looking at his eyes briefly.
“Well, I’ve heard such nice comments from your caring servicies I had to see what all the fuss was about.”
“Oh, so you got hit on purpose?”
“No, I look miserable right now.”
“How about next time you come to me when you get a little cut or a small bruise?”
“Would you patch me up?”
“If you are patient.”
“Patience, yes, a Jedi trait.” (Y/N) tried to hold her laughter back, Obi-Wan was talking nonsense, and she didn’t even gave him any medicine yet. She finished stitching him up in silence, cleaning the wound, reaching for gauze. Now that her adrenaline dissipated she noticed Obi-Wan’s lean torso, a few scars adorning his soft looking skin. She felt heat rising to her cheeks, as she also reached for ointment.
“I’ll-”she cleared her throat “I need you to sit up a bit, slowly please.” She indicated, her voice shy. Dr. Wilhar reached for the antibiotics and a cup of water. She gave them to Kenobi, no need to speak her orders, he took them with no hesitation. Meanwhile, (Y/N) tried hard to concentrate on applying the ointment and tying the gauze around his torso, it was almost like hugging him. She haven’t noticed how close they were until she felt weight on her shoulder.
Tilting her head just to watch what was the weight, she found that Obi-Wan had fallen asleep, his forehead on her shoulder. (Y/N) almost squeaked but contained herself, she didn’t want to wake him up. She softly laid him down, covering him with the thin sheet the gurney offered. With a little hesitation she pushed his hair back; she was glad she did that, because as she lightly touched his forehead she felt his temperature higher. Following protocol she injected the IV with solution to avoid dehydration. She then exited the room, looking around the infirmary, everything under control.
Today she was really, skeptical, but against her gut feeling, she entered General Kenobi’s room in the infirmary and although she didn’t have to do this, because there were less tedious methods, she decided to grab a small towel and a bucket full of ice cold water. She started to wipe off Kenobi’s forehead sweat, smiling when he sighed in relief because of the fresh water.
(Y/N) could only admire his face while systematically taking care of him. She was so into it, she didn’t notice Anakin, Rex and Cody spying from the window of the door. “Oh, c’mon.” Cody complained, afraid he would loose his bet with Rex, because if his eyes didn’t deceive him, it was the Doctor the one with lovey-dovey eyes, not the other way around. Rex chuckled, tasting victory.
“What?” Anakin asked. Both clones looked at each other, debating in their minds if they should tell Skywalker, after all he was a Jedi as well.
“Well…”
“What?” Anakin pressed on.
“We have a bet, you see.” Rex started, now filling a little guilty. “I think that Dr. Wilhar will fall for the General, while Cody thinks otherwise.”
“‘Fall for’? As in, fall in love?” Anakin shook his head. “Obi-Wan is already in love with someone else, he might not admit it, but he is.”
“With whom?” Cody asked.
“Duchess Satine.” Anakin gossiped. The three of them felt silent.
“I still think I win.” Rex interrupted the silence. Cody’s face scrunched up at his statement, clearly asking why. “Have you seen the look on her face? I saw her treat a lot of people but she never got all blushy and nervous.”
“So what? The general was flirting with her.” Cody pointed out.
“Nah-uh, it was flattery.” Anakin defended. “Obi-Wan flatters with everyone.” Then a discussion started about the fine line between flattery and flirting. Hearing commotion outside (Y/N) opened the door.
“What’s all this noise about?” She scolded, making them hold their tongues. “General Kenobi is sleeping and has a fever right now, if you want to visit you may do it when he wakes up.” She informed, closing the door again. The three men continued arguing if they were in love or not for too much time, until Ahsoka arrived. Then, she joined the discussion.
“Uh-uh, I don’t care who that duchess is, I believe (Y/N) is cooler.” The togruta stated, crossing her arms with a sassy aura. “She saves lives and is a total badass. The duchess sounds like a snob.” She taunted, making Cody laugh.
“We’ll see who Obi-Wan likes more.” Anakin challenged. Needless to say, Obi-Wan was about to get a whole lot of stress.
******
The lights were too bright for the Master Jedi, they made him feel dizzy. He moved one of his hands to his eyes to cover them, noticing the rough texture of a towel in his forehead in the way. He was alone, he could sense it, and he was actually grateful, Anakin would probably nag at him, increasing the pain pulsing in his head.
A few minutes later someone opened the door, closing it softly. He peeped thorough his arms, and was glad to found (Y/N) smiling softly at him, her white coat on, a data pad on her hands. “Good morning General. How are you feeling?” She asked, looking at his vitals and noting them down on the data pad.
“My head is about to explode.” His hoarse voice spoke. The doctor removed the towel now pressing her cold hand against his forehead. Obi-Wan almost sighed at the contact, her hands felt amazing.
“I believe you don’t have a fever anymore, which is really good. Can I take a look at your stitches?” She asked as a formality, moving her hands to the thin sheet covering his torso, grazing her fingers just a little against his abdomen. Obi-Wan couldn’t contain the shudder this time. “Sorry my hands are little cold, the ship is freezing.” The Jedi shook his head, trying to ignore the fact that his shivering wasn’t because her hands were cold, but because he felt her touch electric. He took a good look at the doctor, she look as splendid as the day he met her, only a bit more tired; she had dark circles under her eyes and looked a little scruffy. Nevertheless, he had underestimated how much he had missed her, it was refreshing seeing the caring smile on her face, feeling the soothing aura she carried around and listening to her honeyed voice. “Obi-Wan?” She asked, apparently again.
“Sorry darling, I was distracted.” The doctor cleared her throat, a pink tint creeping on her cheeks.
“I was commenting you, General, that you overslept. I think the battle took a toll on you, you should rest more and take care of yourself. You are a Jedi, not inmortal.” She stated. The Jedi flinched at her formalities.
“You can drop the title Doctor, please call me Obi-Wan.” Just when (Y/N) was going to do a cheeky remark about his pet-names, Anakin opened the door with a big smile on his face, Ahsoka following right behind, snickering about whatever Anakin had told her earlier.
“Hi (Y/N)!” Ahsoka greeted, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “How’s Master Kenobi?”
“He’ll be alright as long as he stays in bed for at least one more day. Can you do that General?” She teased with a knowing smile.
“I’ll try.” He answered following her game, making her laugh.
“Skywalker, try to keep as quiet as you can, alright?” She taunted at the loud Jedi, a hand on her hip.
“Whatever.” He replied, rolling his eyes playfully.
“Alright, I’ll come back later Obi-Wan.” She waved at the door, Ahsoka following the Doctor. “It’s something the matter?”
“No…” she replied with a suspicious tone. “I just noticed that you called Master Kenobi by his first name.”
“He told me to.” She excused herself. Ahsoka hummed, still looking at the doctor. “What?” She asked a little embarrassed for no reason. The young padawan still looked at her, (Y/N) felt as if she was reading her. “He calls me darling, I think I have the right to call him by his first name.” She blurted out. Ahsoka's grin became bigger, she even giggled.
“He does what?!” She asked in a higher pitch from the one aloud in the infirmary. Doctor Wilhar shushed her.
“It's just a stupid pet-name.”
“He doesn’t call everyone darling.”
“I bet he does, and it's annoying.” A short silence indicated Ahsoka was thinking. Then she gasped:
“Ohhh!! You know what you should do? If he calls you darling, you should reply him back with another pet name!”
“What?” (Y/N) deadpanned.
“I do it all the time. Men get really uncomfortable when you call them some pet name back.” She assured her.
“I don’t want him to be uncomfortable.” Dr. Wilhar replied, her softer side appearing from the back of her brain.
“If you do it just once I bet he would stop… unless you actually like him calling you darling.” Ahsoka teased, her snippy side showing.
“Fine.” (Y/N) sighed, annoyed. She then proceeded to make the check ups of her patients, Ahsoka chatting with her, keeping her company.
Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was having a stupid argument with Anakin. “Why would want to know anything about Satine?”
“Because, I care about you Master and I feel like she’s an important part of your life.”
“She’s not. We are very different people, plus I took an oath to the Jedi Code, it’s not wise to keep her on my mind.”
“So you wouldn’t break the code for her?”
“No.”
“And for (Y/N)?”
“What kind of question is that?” Obi-Wan asked annoyed. “Are you really asking about me? Or are you the one in love with Dr. Wilhar?” Anakin contained his need of denying it instantly, after all, his whole love and devotion were dedicated to Padmé.
“I am.” He lied, crossing his arms, laying back in the chair.
“What?!” Obi-Wan asked, his demeanor not as calm as he would like to mask. He would be lying if he would say he wasn’t a little bit angry.
“Do you have a problem, Master?”
“Yes I do. You took an oath to the code! You can’t just foolishly fall in love with some girl you met!” Then Obi-Wan noticed, he wasn’t talking to Anakin, he wasn’t scolding Anakin. He was scolding himself.
“She’s not just a girl!” Anakin defended, getting himself in character. Before Obi-Wan could continue, there was a knock on the door. Ahsoka came in, Dr. Wilhar following behind. The padawan stood by her master, sensing the awkward aura around both Masters.
“Visiting hours are over, so both of you should go to your quarters to get some sleep.” (Y/N) informed Anakin and Ahsoka. “Have a good night.” She smiled brightly.
“See ya (Y/N).” Ahsoka waved.
“I hope I’ll see you later, sugar lips.” Anakin said in a husky voice, then smirked. Ahsoka, who was still around, had her mouth hanging open.
“Uh… what?” (Y/N) asked to no one in particular, looking at the Jedi exiting the room. She looked cluelessly at Obi-Wan, but he just shook his head. “What the hell was all that about?” She asked now realizing what Anakin had called her.
“You should ask him.” The older Jedi replied, a little bitter. (Y/N) proceeded to check all his vitals again and his wound. At this point, Obi-Wan would have been bored about the whole procedure if it weren't for the doctor, he would watch her do the same thing over and over again with fascination.
“Well, we are finished for today. Tomorrow morning you should be ready to go.” She stated a polite warm smile on her face. She stood really close to his bed, one of her arms holding her data pad firmly while the other dangled on her side. Obi-Wan was temped to hold her lonely hand, but just nodded. The doctor nodded as well and started to turn towards the door, when a firm grasp in her wrist stopped her softly.
“You should come with us.” He blurted out. (Y/N)’s eyes opened slightly surprised.
“Where?” She asked confused.
“Wherever we go.” He replied still holding her wrist, with a softer grasp. (Y/N) had to think what was he exactly proposing. Most of the times, when the troops had to go somewhere to fight they left in smaller ships, compared to the one she was, which usually stayed in pacific areas, rather than war zones. (Y/N) knew there was a provisional infirmary in every little ship, but she would have to train everyone again and spend so much more time curing people and it sounded like the best plan ever.
“I would love to, but I’ll have to deal with somethings here before joining your adventures.” (Y/N) tried not to shiver at the soothing touch of Kenobi’s hand, she also tried really hard to contain her impulse of saying yes immediately.
“I’ll wait patiently darling.” And there he went again, with the annoyingly sweet pet-name.
“Thank you, honey.” She replied, a little sarcastic tone lacing her words. The Jedi’s heart skipped a beat and completely ignored the fact she did it on purpose, because it sounded so right when she called him that he contained himself from taking her hand and kissing her hands. (Y/N) would be lying if she wasn’t proud of herself when she saw the blush creeping on Obi-Wan’s cheeks and ears, but she was lightly blushing as well. “Good night, Obi-Wan.”
Just when (Y/N) closed the door to Kenobi’s room, she saw Anakin laying against the wall, his arms crossed and eyes closed. “Skywalker, what are you doing here?” She asked, a little uncomfortable knowing he probably heard the little banter with Obi-Wan. In the room she left, Obi-Wan was focusing on not being completely furious with Anakin and his intentions towards the doctor.
He repeated in his head over and over again that he was angry because Anakin was breaking the code, but he knew, deep down, that he actually was feeling jealousy. As his former master had taught him, he started to carefully meditate and sort out his feelings, trying to repress them as much as he was capable off. He couldn’t get that uncomfortable tug on his chest.
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cheemerthelizard · 4 years
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Crusader of Life (Kakyoin x reader) Chapter 1
Ahhhhhh, I got to 100 followers!!!!! Now for the special treat I’ve been planning for a while: my chaptered fanfiction! Thank you to everyone who’s supported me, it’s been less than a month! It really means a lot.
“I told Mom I didn’t fell well this morning,” you mused, walking down the hallway to the nurse’s office. “I can’t believe she thought I was lying. Well, I’ve thrown up now.” In fact, on your way to the nurse, you threw up two more times.
Once the clinic was in sight, and you entered in, you saw three boys, two you didn’t recognize, and the other being the infamous Jotaro Kujo, who’s been rumored to have beaten up a teacher before. In fact, many people have stated that he had just gone to jail. Whatever he’s done, he’s not someone to be messed with.
”Oh! Hello, (Y/N)!” the nurse said. “What’s wrong?”
”Fever,” you groggily replied, “and throw up.”
”Oh, that’s not good.” The nurse patted your head and put you in a bed next to the two boys. “Now, Jotaro, let me get some scissors and cut your pants.”
”No way am I letting you do that,” Jotaro replied. Geez. He sounded just as cold as all your friends described him. “I’ll just take off my pants. There’s no way I’m going to let these go to waste.”
Wow. He was stubborn, too. How did all of those other girls like him? He couldn’t have been nice to them. In fact, now that you’ve seen him up close, there was no doubt he’d been rude to them. However, the girls that always follow Jotaro around are pretty annoying, so they kind of deserve it.
Suddenly, breaking you from your thoughts, the nurse started wildly whipping a pen around. The two boys (who had insisted that they had a cold) were trying to tell her it wasn’t a thermometer, but she wasn’t listening. Something was up about her. It couldn’t possibly be another Stand user, could it?
“Allow me to introduce my Stand, Hierophant Green,” a boy, who wasn’t there before, said. Drat! You’d been spacing out again! It looked like this boy had already met Jotaro, but his eyes said he was ready to challenge him.
”Wait. You’re Noriaki Kakyoin, the transfer student!” Jotaro said, and a Stand emerged from him as well. Two new Stand users, right here in your hometown? It was almost too good to be true! That is, if one wasn’t a punk and the other wasn’t actually evil.
”Hey! You there!” Jotaro’s voice echoed through your ears, and his eyes pierced through your soul. “Get out of here! It’s dangerous!”
”I think you’re underestimating me, Jotaro,” you replied, and summoned your own Stand. “Ace of Pentacles! Reveal yourself!”
From that, a brilliant creature stood beside you, a humanoid creature with something resembling an upside-down pentagram, known as a pentacle, plastered on its front.
”So, are you on my side, or not?” was the first thing that came out of Jotaro’s mouth.
”Yes, I’m on your side,” you replied. “And I have just the Stand to help in this situation!”
With a wave of your hand, the nurse split into two different versions of herself, both looking the exact same. Well, except for the fact that one was being possessed. The one that looked completely normal caught a glance of her doppelgänger and screamed.
”Hey!” You pointed to the nurse, and she turned to look at you. “I know it’s scary, but get out of here!” She did not waste any time doing what you said.
”What the-“ Jotaro stuttered. You laughed.
”It’s simple, Jotaro. You see, my Stand allows me to duplicate life. Whatever I duplicate will also keep its former memories, in both creatures, and will be in the same physical state. The only reason the second nurse wasn’t possessed was because I didn’t duplicate the Stand possessing her. That’s my Stand’s power! Now, use your Stand and attack the possessed nurse, Jotaro!”
Jotaro nodded his head, and you saw his Stand in action. Well, as much as you could. Its fists flew so fast you could barely see what was going on. The boy who called himself Kakyoin was developing bruises everywhere. You were sure he would probably have some broken bones. Soon, he had fainted, and the nurse was as good as dead. Honestly, you felt kind of bad, since that woman was still well alive and could probably feel the pain, but it was for the best. You had a feeling that if you didn’t interfere, something worse would have happened.
But dang, it was a shame Kakyoin was on the enemy’s side. He was kind of cute.
”Hey, you,” Jotaro called as he picked up Kakyoin. “What’s your name?”
”(Y/N),” you answered. “(Y/N) (L/N).”
”Well, (Y/N),” Jotaro replied, “I’ll keep you in mind of Stand users to help us fight against Dio. In the meantime, don’t tell anyone I’m ditching school today.”
“Uh oh,” you muttered, and a second round of vomit forced its way out of your body. “Great. Now who’s going to call my mom to come pick me up?”
”You know,” Jotaro said, “my mother is pretty good at helping settle the stomach. Since I’m going home to interrogate this guy, I can bring you along, too.”
”Interrogate him? On what?”
”You’ll see when we get there. Are you coming?”
”Yeah, alright.”
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exeggcute · 4 years
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glad to know you are mostly recovered from covid! if i may ask, could you describe how where your symptoms or at what pace you got them? the information i've got from both medical / govermental sources in my country is contradictory at times. also, what would you recommend drinking if i found myself to be with covid?
first off: WATER!!! drink water!!! I mean you can probably drink whatever as long as it’s moderately healthy and you’re staying hydrated (my drink of choice while sick is red gatorade. it has to be red or it doesn’t work though) but water is always a safe bet
also I’m happy to share my experience, just know that (1) I am not a doctor, just a professional Sick Person and (2) I never officially got tested thanks to a shortage of coronavirus tests in my area, but I’m pretty damn sure my symptoms were aligned with covid-19, so take that as you will
the first thing I noticed was a sore throat... but I have sore throats allll the time because of my other health issues, so I didn’t think much of it. I did start to notice my sore throat was getting better (from a previous mystery illness that knocked me out for a few days, and which I initially thought was strep but was probably just a bad cold) before suddenly getting bad again. I also had a day where my sore throat was especially pronounced and I had that Really Tired Feeling you get when you’re sick. I guess we can call that day one, but at this point I definitely didn’t think I had corona
that night I noticed some chest tightness, which I initially wrote off as an anxiety attack (and considering my extremely anxious personality and the fact that we were battening down the hatches for a pandemic, that seemed like a fair assumption) but using my inhaler didn’t help--in fact, it made the pain worse! but it did pass eventually, more or less, and I forgot about it
(side note here that if you think you have corona, do NOT use your albuterol inhaler or any kind of steroid inhaler unless you’re having a legit asthma attack with wheezing and all the works. using your inhaler can make the corona symptoms worse, but obviously if you need to use it then it’s important to keep using it. consult your doctor. also another similar note: if you think you have it, stay away from most NSAIDs if you can, as those can also make things worse. tylenol is okay though as long as you’re careful about the dosage--not as a corona thing, you just always need to be careful with tylenol dosage. and it’ll help keep your fever down, which is important!)
then over the next day or two I noticed the chest pain flare-ups but wrote those off as well. they were short-lived and mainly seemed to happen at night, but the inhaler always made them worse. around this time I also started experiencing some general GI upset for a few days (not to get too into that...), but I have a very touchy digestive track and was taking antibiotics at the same for other unrelated reasons, so I was like “well it’s probably nothing” but was starting to get worried.
then about five days later, the chest tightness really made itself present. like, it lasted all day and was constant. I was concerned but not immediately freaking out, and it was really windy that day so I kind of chalked it up to allergies, but as a very allergic person I’ve never had chest tightness like that from allergies (and my other allergic symptoms have improved considerably since I started allergy shots, so it would be weird to have a new symptom crop up out of nowhere like that).
then the next day, and the next day, the tightness wasn’t going away. this was clearly not allergies. I started to seriously think about corona tests, and I even called my primary care doctor, but she was extremely dismissive (all she did was call in a prescription for an old allergy drug that never even worked for me in the first place) and it was downright impossible to get tested. I was freaked out, but not entirely sure.
it’s about day seven at this point, and the chest tightness is in full swing. when I first wake up, the pain isn’t really present, but after about an hour of wakefulness my chest starts to get tight, congested, and kind of has that rattle-y feeling when it’s full of mucus and crap from the postnasal drip. not much congestion otherwise, but I’m so hopped up on antihistamines at all times that I don’t really get congested in general. the best way I can describe the chest tightness is that it feels like when I exert myself and my asthma makes my chest seize up and it’s hard to catch my breath (aka every single PE class I was ever forced to take as a kid), but my inhaler doesn’t do shit. my throat is still hurting pretty bad too and I feel vaguely fevery, but I don’t have a working thermometer at home. overall I just feel shitty, like that feeling you have when you know you’re sick (and I get sick a lot so I’m pretty well-versed in that lol). for quarantine purposes, this is the day I’ve been counting as the “first day” of having obvious corona symptoms, but it was really predated by the things I described above.
several days pass like this, I keep trying to get tested and call all sorts of places but it’s all dead ends. I also develop a slight cough, which mostly comes in bursts or when I speak/eat. by day twelve I manage to get a primary care appointment, and they do an EKG to make sure it’s not cardiac pain (the EKG came back fine) and a throat swab to see if it’s something bacterial (it’s not). they do confirm I’m running a slight fever, although my body temperature is usually so low that even a fever of 99 is high for me. my primary care doc basically tells me to fuck off and stay home, which I was already planning on doing. she also didn’t even wear a mask or gloves to look into my throat, despite the fact that all the other nurses in the practice were wearing masks and gloves when they interacted with patients... so I’m not exactly full of confidence in her judgement here.
the night of day thirteen, the day after seeing my doctor, I have a night where I can’t sleep because my airway feels restricted (both in my chest and my actual throat being swollen from pain). I used my inhaler, like a fool, and when the inhaler didn’t help the first time I tried using it two more times. big mistake! I ended up lying awake gasping for air, taking huge gulps just to feel like I was getting the teeniest bit of oxygen, and feeling stabbing pain when I took these deep breaths. I was too afraid to sleep and almost made my girlfriend drive me to the ER but I hate going to the ER so instead I just tried to calm down until I got exhausted enough to fall asleep around dawn. I also kept alternating between sweating buckets and shivering to death, no matter how I kept adjusting the temperature and my blankets, so I assume I was having a crazy fever that night.
the next day, roughly day fourteen, I decided to suck it up and go to the ER to get a chest x-ray. they said my x-ray looked fine, which was encouraging (hopefully no permanent lung damage there), and they took a flu swab and a strep swab just to rule those out (both negative, of course). at least two other people were there with me in the ER complaining of similar symptoms, but they didn’t have any tests for us so the doctor just told me to go home, act as if I had it, and keep taking tylenol and drinking water. this doctor is also the one who told me to stop using my inhaler--and the fact that my inhaler kept making the pain worse is one of the things that really tips me off here that I probably had it.
things are pretty much uneventful for the next week: still having a tight chest, a fever that seems to come and go, sore throat, cough. no more crazy attacks like that one night.
by day nineteen (yesterday) I start to notice a bit of improvement in my chest pain. it’s not gone, but it’s not as bad and I’ll have slight reprieves from the tightness. today is day twenty (more or less, my numbers are a little rough here) and I actually felt okay most of the day. by the evening the tightness returned and I’m still coughing every now and then, but far less often. I think the fever is gone and my throat doesn’t hurt too bad, either! I’m well past the point of being contagious, so I actually went to the grocery store today and got a few things. I’m not totally out of the woods yet, but I think (knock on fucking wood) the worst has passed.
anyway, I hope my anecdote is helpful for you, and I hope you stay safe and healthy!
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scullyeffect · 4 years
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ok at this point even though i’m getting tested on tuesday, i’m just cautiously self-diagnosing myself with a mild case of covid-19. this thing is like labour. if you’re experiencing it, you’ll know. i am not a person who gets sick for more than a couple days, and usually i can work through it. my country has been out of quarantine and i’ve been back at work (with kids) for about 3.5 weeks. i woke up this morning (day 6) and the thought of having to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom was so daunting that i promised myself i’d get breakfast while i was on my feet because i’d need to rest afterward. 
what i will say is that the last time i was truly ill was in 2018 when i got a sore throat and lost my voice for about a week. on a scale of 1-10 so far i’d rate what i’m experiencing as a 5, but the fatigue level gets at least a 7.5. i’ve never been this tired, and i’m doing practically nothing but sleeping. 
rundown of symptoms: (keeping in mind that even though this thing is respiratory, not everyone develops those symptoms. a lot of what we’re reading about are scary, hospital-worthy cases)
evening day 1: tiredness, slept 12 hours, didn’t suspect anything was wrong
day 2: around 6pm i got a headache in centre of forehead, felt feverish (but no thermometer), took paracetamol 500, intense fatigue, went to bed at 9:30 and slept 15 hours
day 3: woke up with SLIGHTLY tickly throat and dry cough (but not painful, very infrequent, and only to try and clear my phlegmy throat), very tired, in evening i had severe chest pains while walking (that made me actually take a taxi home instead of continuing to walk 20 minutes) that lasted a few hours and disappeared after i rested (these might have had something to do with anxiety since i was starting to suspect i was ill), definitely feverish in the evening but not as bad as day 1, took paracetamol, slept 8 hours. at this point i also notified everyone i’d seen in the past week (9 people, luckily 5 of them children) that i was showing symptoms.
day 4: woke up exhausted, had breakfast and felt better, walked to the doctor and had a fever of 37.8 (100 f) and got a prescription to take the PCR test, felt woozy walking back home, took paracetamol. cough VERY rare. by 6pm i was exhausted and took a shower thinking i’d need to work the next day, fell asleep around 7pm till 11:30pm, woke up cold but sweaty (though it’s very warm outside and i slept with the window open under a duvet wearing socks), had a temp of 39 (102), took paracetamol and fell asleep. slept 11 hours.
day 5: woke up cold again even though i’d worn a t-shirt, long sleeved shirt, leggings, and socks to bed. achy especially in legs (around knees), and lower back, and later in the day i was achy all over. so tired i barely got out of bed. scheduled covid-19 PCR test. fell asleep at 5pm thinking i’d just doze, woke up at 9:30pm feeling hot and just...gross. temp of 38 (100.5). phlegmy throat was back, along with dry cough, but it didn’t hurt. it was more just frustrating because i couldn’t clear my throat. eating dinner was like...i was so tired i didn’t feel like bringing my fork up to my mouth. and all i ate for dinner was a can of corn. fell back to sleep around 3am because i couldn’t get comfortable. slept 10 hours.
day 6 (today/ still morning): woke up exhausted and extremely achy. had a shot-glass of carrot juice which tasted about half as strong as usual, and a plain yogurt. i guess i only have the sensation of “tasting” if i smell what i’m eating. dry cough back but still not painful, still not breathless, temp only 37.5 (99.5). my eyes are also a little scratchy but maybe i’m just STILL tired lol. 
i’m okay and i’m not going to die and i’m doing everything right (hydrating, resting, trying to remember to eat although i can’t manage much, taking paracetamol, keeping track of symptoms and temp). the thing is the symptoms change. there are times when you think you feel fine, and then suddenly you’ll get hit with the need to sleep and you’ll end up taking a 5 hour nap and STILL waking up tired. so don’t worry too much! i’ll keep updating you but i think it’s important to share that even if this is just a bad case of the flu, it can look a lot like what we’re seeing, so don’t dismiss it. the major clue i had was that flu symptoms generally come on quickly, whereas mine come and go and some only get worse, whereas others (like fever) seem to get better especially during the day. 
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avengerscompound · 5 years
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Finding Home - Chapter 6
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Finding Home: A Captain America Fanfic
Masterlist Previous //
Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x OFC (Daisy Adams)
Word Count:  2258
Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, mentions of sexual abuse/rape, pregnancy, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex, pregnancy sex, Bisexual MMF threesome)
Synopsis:  Daisy Adams has abilities. She can read minds. Force her thoughts onto others. As a child, she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon. Daisy finds another and speaks to him in his dreams. He has been taken too. He wants to return to the man he loves. Can she get them back together? Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?
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Chapter 6
Weeks passed. I started to be able to feel Bucky more and more often. I wasn’t able to push back into him again.  I was afraid to try too hard to be honest. That one time was scary. I had never just been in someone before. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to develop that side of my abilities.
It got to the point that I almost constantly had these feelings that were completely unrelated to what was happening around me. I was having trouble telling which were my feelings and which were his. I kept my mind open for him though. I wanted to find him. This was our best chance.
Steve pulled away from me after that night. He was having trouble being around me at all. The reminder of the connection I had with Bucky just pushed all the guilt he had over losing him, and falling for me to the surface. He was experiencing some pretty strong survivors guilt too. I didn’t know how to help him.
I started spending more and more time around Thor and Natasha. Thor because when I was him it was quiet, and he was kind. Natasha because she understood me. I needed that most of all.
It was late. Natasha, Clint, Thor and I had stayed up well after most of the others. They were drinking and being all melancholy and the baby was keeping me up. I had tried jogging around to put it to sleep, but it was restless. Bucky was up where ever he was, and I was getting a lot of fear from him today. I eventually gave up and lay down on the couch.
“The child still won’t calm?” Thor asked.
“Nope.” I sighed. “Guess I’m not sleeping tonight.”
“May I feel?” He asked. I nodded and he placed a hand on my stomach. “You need to rest little one.” He said to my belly.
“Daisy, can I ask you something personal?” Nat said she was a bit drunk and slurred her words a little.
“Sure. Given you don’t have secrets from me, that’s only fair.” I laughed.
She giggled. “Did you get pregnant the only time you’ve had sex?”
“No. I’d had sex before Bucky. Not exactly a fun late-night story though. I was around men a lot. They started thinking things like ‘I bet she’s fucking tight’ when I hit puberty. I didn’t know what that meant. So I asked one. He showed me.” I shrugged. They looked horrified. “Sorry. That was a downer. My life has been a bit of a shit show, but let’s face it, I’m not the only one in the building that’s true for.”
Clint gave a sarcastic laugh. “That’s true. What a fucking mess we all are. We’re the heroes. I wonder what the villains have all been through?” He got up and took Nat’s hand. “Want to go to bed?”
She got up and said goodnight to Thor and me, and they left the room together.
“It feels like the baby has finally stilled,” Thor said. “You should get some rest.”
I looked at him, wondering what he was thinking. It was strange not knowing. “Will you be okay?”
He laughed. “Of course. Go sleep.”
I went and got ready for bed, and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
They’d caught me. I struggled against them, but somehow they were stronger than I was. I don’t know how that could be possible.  I was being strapped to a chair. How could this be happening again? I need to get out. I need to find Steve.  Where is Daisy? I can feel her. Why isn’t she helping me? Daisy! Help me!
I lash out. Something strikes me in the side. A  surge of electricity courses through my body. My cybernetic arm goes haywire. The pain it causes me is worse than anything I’ve felt before, including when I lost my arm in the first place. It’s like my arm is being torn off and taking my spine with it. I scream.
“Daisy! Wake up!” Steve yelled shaking me. Someone was screaming. Was it Bucky? Did they find him? I sat up and realized it was me.
I looked around my room, everyone was here. “What happened?” I asked my voice raw.
“Was that real?” Steve asked, “Was that happening?”
I blinked up at him and he shook me again.
“Cap, hands-off,” Tony said putting his hand on Steve’s shoulder.
Nat sat down on the bed beside me and put her hand on my forehead like she was checking me for a fever. As soon as she touched me, it was like I got yanked into reality. My head was pounding. It felt like my left arm had been flayed. I held it up to check it was still okay. Nat grabbed a handful of Kleenex from the box on my bedside table and pressed them to my face, tilting my head back. My nose must have been bleeding again. I could taste the blood in my mouth.
“Whatever you were just dreaming you projected it to all of us,” Nat said.
I felt the weight of the bed shift next to me. I glanced over and Steve had climbed on, kneeling beside me.
“Was it real, Daisy?” He asked.
I shook my head and started to cry. “I hope not. I don’t know. What good does it do to know? I don’t know where he is.” Steve wrapped his strong arms around me and held me to him. I sobbed against his chest.
“Okay everyone, crisis is put on hold. Let’s leave them alone.” Sam said and gestured to the door.
“Will you be okay?” Nat asked me. I nodded and everyone left the room leaving me alone with Steve.
Steve stroked my hair as I composed myself. “That was really scary, Daisy. Everyone saw what was happening.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” I sniffed.
He chuckled softly. “I know you didn’t. That’s part of why it was so scary. You’re much more powerful than you think you are.” He paused for a moment. “Was it just a dream or is that happening to him?”
“I don’t know. My arm hurts like it happened.” I closed my eyes and tried to focus on Bucky. I found him. He felt calm. That’s all. Just calm. “I think it was just a dream, Steve. I can feel him. He’s okay.”
He seemed to relax around me, and he kissed me on the crown of the head. “What happened?”
“I have no idea. Pregnancy dreams are dangerous if you’re telepathic? Maybe I linked in with a nightmare he was having.” I shook my head.
We sat like that for a little while. My nose seemed to clear and I threw the tissues into my wastebasket near my bed.
“I should go,” Steve said, but he made no move to let me go.
“Don’t.” I breathed.
He sighed and shifted so he was lying on his back. I shuffled down next to him and lay on my side facing the wall and pulled my comforter up over us both.
“Daisy …” Steve said.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I know. It’s confusing for you. I get it.” I was sick of hearing it, both out loud and in his head. I shut him out completely. It took more energy than I would have liked, but I couldn’t take it anymore.
He rolled over and draped his arm over me, his hand gliding down my body. It skimmed over my breast, I think unintentionally, sending a little jolt through me, and rested on the swell of my stomach. I shifted back so I was pressed against him, and he pushed his arm under my head so I was resting on his bicep.
He kept stroking his hand back and forth over my belly. The fabric of my sleep shirt pushed up and he trailed his fingers over my bare skin. It sent a little shiver through me and I wriggled against him. His groin was pressed against my ass and I felt his cock twitch.
“Steve. I want you to stay. I need you to hold me. Please. But touching me like that isn’t fair. You know how I feel. I’m sorry if holding me confuses you, but I’m scared. Can’t you just be here for me?”
I felt his breath hot against my neck, I turned my head towards him and he captured my mouth with his. It startled me. I can’t remember ever truly being startled before. We kissed, it was slow and deep. His hand went to my breast, kneading it, rolling his thumb over my nipple. I felt his cock hardened, pressed against my ass. I reached back, tugging at his hair. He broke our kiss with a growl and started nibbling down along my neck. I let my head fall back, my eyes closed.
I opened my mind again. I wanted to relax. I also wanted to see what he was thinking. Thoughts of me on all fours, him driving into me, of me on my knees sucking his cock, of him holding me up against the wall fucking me, filled my head.
I moaned, pushing into his hands. My cunt tingled and I could feel my wetness soaking through my panties. I put my hand on his as he stroked along my belly. Our fingers laced together and I moved his hand down, pushing his thick fingers under the waistband of my panties and between my folds. I worked my fingers with him, guiding him in circles over my clit. He started grinding against me and I let his hand go and reached behind me, slipping my hand into his pajama pants. I stroked his cock along its length using just my fingers and then took him in my hand, pumping up and down his shaft. He groaned and pushed his hips against me.
I pushed the image he had of me sucking his cock into his mind. Offering that to him. He pulled back from me, shaking his head like he was trying to clear it.
“Stay out of my head, Daisy.” He scolded.
“I’m sorry. I – I thought you might like – I’m sorry.” I stuttered.
“It’s okay. I know. Just please, let me have my thoughts.”
“Do you want me to do that? I can give you that.”
He made an angry growl sound and returned to kissing my neck. He pushed two fingers inside of me. I gasped arching into him.
Steve worked his fingers in and out of me as he rubbed his thumb over my clit. My core clenched as the beginning of an orgasm pooled within me. I somehow managed to wriggle out of my underwear. As I did Steve moaned and when they were free, he pulled his hand from my pussy, pushed his pants down and pressed his cock against my ass.
I tilted my hips back towards him and moved one leg forward. He took hold of my hips and shifted me so his cock was aligned with my cunt. Slowly he thrust back and forward, his cock sliding up and down my crevice. I whimpered reaching back to him, leaning my face towards his. His mouth met mine. As we kissed he pushed into me. I clenched around him and we both groaned into the kiss.
He thrust slowly. In and out. One hand moved to my clit and he rolled it under his fingers as he penetrated me. His other hand was at my breast, pinching my nipple, squeezing my flesh. We kissed, our tongues dancing together. I felt helpless, wrapped beside him. I was completely engulfed by his body. I couldn’t catch my breath, and I started making a helpless whimpering sound into our kiss. I clung to the back of his neck, gripping it tightly as his muscles strained against me.
I laced my fingers with his at my breast. My orgasm built, my core spasmed and I came. Every part of me tensed up. He released my mouth, and I cried out.
“Oh god, Steve.” I moaned.
He pulled out, rolled onto his back and then lifted me so I was straddling his waist. I took his cock in my hand and then lowered myself down on it. He put both his hands on my belly and held them there as I rocked against him.
“I’m sorry I took so long, Daisy.” He panted.
I shook my head, lent forward and kissed him. He moved a hand to my cheek and when I pulled away he stroked my jaw with his thumb.
“I want to be there for you. For the baby.” He said.
“I know.” I panted. “You will be.”
He gripped my hips and thrust upwards with a grunt. His body tensed, and he came. His cock pulsing into my core. Spilling inside of me.
I climbed off him and lay down beside him, my head on his firm chest. He ran his fingers through my hair and rested a hand on my belly.
“I’m going to take care of you both.” He said, he sounded angry. Frightened. I scanned him. He kept the thought of me and the baby so close to the thought of Bucky. He was afraid of losing us the way he had lost him.
“We’ll find him,” I said. I suddenly felt really tired. My fell eyes closed. “You’ll be together again.”
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// NEXT
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httpjeon · 5 years
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i had such a tough night 😭
i started feeling nauseous and it somehow turned into a panic attack. so i was like ok the nausea was from anxiety, nothing new there it'll go away soon. and when the attack wore off i started feeling even worse so i decided to go to bed at like 9:30. but i couldn't even make it to bed bc i nearly passed out from walking around.
i fell asleep on the couch after taking some pills and then went to bed again. but i could sleep bc i started feeling even worse.
and then i realized i was going to be sick sick. so i threw up u know and went to my mom bc i never get that sick. so i was like wtf plus she told me to go to her if anything happened and u bet i'm a lil bitch who goes to her mom over anything.
so i was up for about 45 mins with my mom and then i went back to bed after she told me to try and sleep. well, i couldn't sleep bc my body started to ache and i couldn't get comfortable so i got back up to ask my mom if it was okay for my to take a pain killer.
by this point i actually couldn't stan up properly bc i couldn't catch my breath and it made me feel nauseous. so i sat there and my stepdad got up as well bc my mom got him for some reason.
and they gave me aleve and as i was sitting there i realized i was getting really bad chills and generally really uncomfortable and discovered that i, in fact, had developed a fever.
and i was still feeling out of breath and sick so i just crashed on the couch so i wouldn't have to walk thru the house to get my mom and she was right there (bc their bedroom is connected to the living room).
anyway, i managed to sleep for about 3 hours bc by then it was about 3, i was awake for about 1, and then woke up about 7am. and then i fell back asleep and just woke up again just now and i feel a lot better and i am chancing eating smthn. but my fever broke and besides body aches from puking my very soul up, i guess i'm ok????
i just don't know what happened tbh 💀
so anyway i may be a bit spotty today ): sorry!
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madiletio · 5 years
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Paper Cranes | Clouis Summary: Louis had never been much of writer, but for her?  He’d write her a thousand paper cranes. !!Major character death is implied
Writing love letters had never really been his strongest forte. Hell, he'd pick speaking his mind over writing a simple love letter if he could. But beggars couldn't be choosers and he had to adjust to his reality.
Truth be told, he was adjusting pretty well. His handwriting seemed to get neater as the days went on and if it meant Clem got to know that she was appreciated and loved? He’d write her one everyday- just in case she suddenly forgets.
They had started out simple too, nothing crazy or beyond cheezy. Small notes of torn parchment containing singular sentences of “You look pretty today.” or “Your smile is infectious.”
Basic cringey shit like that.
Yet as the months dragged on and as the seasons changed, so did their relationship. They became closer and bonded more; they were past the fragileness that every new relationship held- especially in an apocalypse.
But now more than ever, they were a stronger and better team.
As Clem got stronger with her crutches, the notes started to become longer and more filled out too. Often ending with some sort of rambling or heart felt joke.
In the warmer seasons, he would often fold the letters up to take shape of a paper crane, before tossing them to her when she emerged from the dorms. And despite still waking up from her slumber, she never missed catching the letter.
Late fall was starting to take a toll on everyone. Rations were getting scarce with each passing day and most of the forest creatures had hidden away to hibernate.
In his letters he often expressed how he wished people could also hibernate and if not people, then walkers. It would take the edge off of them at least. Clem would often give him a sympathetic smile, understanding clear in her honey brown eyes.
Aj had started to grow taller and stronger too. Often being the first to jump up and volunteer to go beyond the safety of the schools iron gates to hunt or to fish, with sometimes the occasion of Clem tagging along- if it was just beyond in the gates.
It never ceased to amaze him how badass Clem was, and even if she couldn’t see it, everyone else certainly did. Some nights, when he couldn’t sleep however, he’d spend his nights in the music room.
After he lost his tongue, the first few weeks back at Ericson had been brutal. Nightmares often plagued his dreams, the phantom pain feeling so real. The only thing that seemed to ease his racing heartbeat and anxiety, was his piano.
He knew the notes like the back of his hand. Every key, every placement- every scale. It brought him a comfort he couldn’t properly describe. He didn’t have to worry about what he was going to write. Didn’t have to worry about his spelling or making sure what he hate written had made sense. It was just him and his piano and even though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, that was one of the first few things that helped him cope from the trauma.
Clem had her own ways of coping too.
Once she had been given her crutches, she was always on the go, trying to busy herself whenever she could. At first, it wasn’t noticeable. Everyone was busy after the delta raid.
But time goes on and life moves on and Clem needed to do that too.
So some nights he’d find her waiting for him at the piano. They would just sit there, playing the keys in the looming silence of the halls, no words, no letters, needing to be spoken or written.  
Just the two of them and the old falling apart piano.
-
It had taken a few months and lots of trials and errors, but eventually Willy and Aj (with the occasional help from Aasim) had finally succeeded in making Clem a prosthetic. It was far from perfect, and there was lots of room for improvement. But with the resources and the shit they knew? They did a pretty alright job.
That didn’t ease the anxiety he felt when she first started to go back out on scouting missions. Of course, she would always come back safe and sound, but just for extra measure, he’d write her a note.
Winter had been a brutal season for everyone. Ruby had come down with a shocking fever and some were starting to develop coughs of their own. Louis was one of them.
He knew that Clem and Aj had volunteered to go on a supply run, and as much as he protested, they didn’t have much of an option. So instead, he stayed up and wrote her a letter.
Only this time it wasn’t just a simple letter. She had to know that he loved her, and that she better come back alive. He had sighed it and crawled into his covers, the sweet embrace of sleep taking over him.
The sound of the iron gates scraping opening startled him awake. Light bled into his room and immediately he felt his heart jump into his throat.
He had slept in and missed her. By a long shot.
Muffled voices came from outside and what he could only make out to be screaming? Or was it crying? His head was so fucking muffled. He crawled out from the covers and threw on his coat, disregarding anything else.
He wished he hadn’t stepped outside.
There stood a shaken Aj, tear stains marking his small checks and already drying blood soaking in the material of his clothes. And in his hands? Was Clem’s hat.
His world slowed down completely. He could only focus on the hat.
“Louis..” Violet mumbled, reaching out to grab him.
Everything looked so blurry and overwhelming and he couldn’t stop looking at that damn fucking hat.
He had gone over this scenario multiple times in his head. Played out every worse case scenario that could happen to her. He had been through this shit way to many times before.
It wasn’t supposed to happen to her.
He felt a small weight tug on hips and finally he broke his gaze away from the hat and onto a glassy eyed Aj who looked like he had just lost his entire world.
Maybe he had.
-
Grief was a strange concept to him. They had built her grave, said their final goodbyes. Aj found comfort with the rest of them, and even though the small boy was very much still hurting, he was also showing signs of healing.
So why didn’t he feel like he was healing?
Guilt would often eat away at him, when he was alone. He had never been one to believe in superstitions and it was completely stupid of him to even consider it being the reason she got bit. But he couldn't help but feel like if he hadn’t slept in that morning, if he had given her that fucking letter, she’d still be here.
He hated nights like those.
The nightmares returned and so did the nightly visits to the piano room. Only this time instead of playing the instrument, he sat there on the dusty piano bench and cried until he no longer could.
Until the exhaustion from crying would eventually take over his body.
Aj would sometimes come into the room too, long after he broke down. They would just sit there, just like Clem and him had done months ago, and they would play nonsense. Melodies that felt half hearted, keys and notes that didn’t merge well together. All of It helped, for a little bit at least.
Aj was slowly beginning to smile again, even if it was for half a second. Half a second was better than nothing.
He hoped, in time, he’d be able to smile for that half of a second too.
-
Louis had never been much of a writer.
If he needed or had to, he would. But he never really had the desire to keep a journal like Aasim, or draw his thoughts down just like Tenn used to.
Then she happened and everything felt like it was going to be okay for once in this God forsaken nightmare but just like anything else, nothing good ever lasts forever and now she was gone six feet under and he couldn’t deal with it.
It wasn’t supposed to happen to her.
He pulled out the blank piece of parchment, careful not knock over the candle as he set it down on the desk. After all, last thing everyone needed was another fire.
Not Clem.
His wasn’t much of a writer but he needed to do this- for his own sake. He was remaining strong for everyone around him, but mainly putting on a brave face for Aj. The little shit was in their care now after all.
So he sat down and wrote until he physically couldn’t anymore. Until the tears that threatened to fall blinded him.
“Darling,
I know you would want us to continue on, even though you are no longer here. That’s the funny thing about all of this don’t you think? We’ve all grown up surrounded by death and yet it never really gets any easier does it? I think… I think my mind is still in some stage of denial. It’s been months and I still half expect to see you standing there, laughing or talking with someone when I enter a new room. Or to find you teaching Aj about something positive about this shithole of a world.
You’d be so proud of the little man he’s becoming Clem. I know we all are.
The piano has started to go out of tune again- I blame the weather. I would tune it but..truth be told part of me doesn't want to, as silly as that sounds.
How did it get to this point Clem? You got us back home, you came back home. You gave us. Gave me-”
Droplets fell onto the paper and when the few tears fell, he couldn’t stop the rest from falling. Everything that had been eating away at him for months on end was slowly beginning to dissipate away.
He couldn’t continue the letter. He didn’t even bother to read over it. Instead, he folded it up in a crane shape, just like all the others and placed it on his bookshelf.
For the first time in months, he was starting to feel again. There was no guarantee he was going to start feeling better soon, but he was healing. Slowly.
No amount of words on paper would ever be enough to describe all he felt about her and about her life. And even though she was gone, he could still feel her presence in the little things. Like the sun shining through the window, or when a patch of wildflowers completely bloomed in the spring. That was how he- no everyone was going to remember her.
And for as long as he was on this earth, he was going to fight like hell to survive, just like she had done.
He wasn’t going to let her down.
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