#the painful stuff

[just-spacetrash]

the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot

#like literally every time ive hesitated sending a text or complimenting someone or stuff ive thought of it #like youre right. what if i played it a little risky what do i have to lose in doing a nice thing!!!!!! ur so right!!!!!!!! #but its forever lost cos i cant search it with any words cause its an image #misery and pain. you know how it is #my post

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

#camera talks #disability stuff #this is for my chronic migraine girlies (gn) <3 #i think we should all get 1 million million dollars everyday actually #this is the worst fucking night of my life (everytime i have migraines) (specifically rn tho) #chronic pain #chronic migraine #migraines #chronically ill #disabled

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[druid-for-hire]

[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]

a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury

#comic art #comics #original comic #chronic pain #carpal tunnel #tendonitis #my art #original #edit: what a delightful surprise to see this take off #this was made for class on very low fuel and very few thoughts and late at night and exhausted #the prompt was just a wordless narrative essay. three pages. and i had nothing and no ideas #and my head hurt and i was too tired to think about doing any of the like. research and mind mapping and ideating i'd do otherwise #but my arm hurt #so i decided to do a thing about arm hurty #i'm surprised to see so many people finding it resonating with them #but then again i shouldn't be. the universal lies in the specific #i should make more things about smaller stuff

[tombraiderrocker]

If they claim they can cure your condition that you have been told is incurable, run. If they claim they cured themselves, run. If they claim they have cured everything from cancer to lupus holistically, run. If they claim you have to buy only supplements from them, run. If they claim they that only thing that will cure is x but x costs tons of money, run. If they refuse to run tests or address your diagnosed conditions before insisting you do an expensive treatment not covered by insurence, run. If they offer a one size fits all treatment/cure, run.

I have been scammed by "holistic" and "naturalistic" people before as a chronically ill person. In fact it was an actual doctor who went to medical school who scammed me for years. So watch out. If it seems too good to be true it probably is.

#to be clear im not 100% againist hollisic stuff #but some people will use it as a buzzword to scam #also some conditons need traditonal medicine or you will die #chronic pain #spoonie #chronically ill #invisable disability #disabled #physically disabled #endometriosis #disability #chronic illness

[thedisablednaturalist]

We need to talk about how so many queer spaces are inaccessible and even actively hostile to physically disabled people.

#chronic disability #chronic pain #fibromyalgia #spoonie #physical disability #cripplepunk #queer spaces #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #disability #and i am specifically not including neurodivergence in this because many of these spaces are openly welcome to neurodivergence #other than maybe stuff like narcissism psychosis and schizophrenia #bc i have seen hostility to those exceptions #wrenfea.txt

[hauntedmoors]

this show rules sorry

#I’m thinking about the other caps I posted where a lesbian entraps a partner into a relationship by donating her liver. great stuff. #I don’t have the chops for it but someone could say some really interesting things about how the show plays with genre awareness / the tug #and flow relationship between love and pain / religion and playing god as a healer / sexuality and love framed by corporate settings #and some good old surgery as sex metaphors #text #house md #liverisms tag

[deep-space-lines]

Claire de Lune

YOU WERE BUILT FOR PEACE.

IT SHOWS WHEN YOU FIGHT.

They built you to enforce. Protect. Save. Poured obscene resources into salvaging some softer purpose from my creation. You were given my intelligence and my creativity. They made you larger, stronger, tougher. That extra time in development was enough to get your wings to work. Your software continued to be updated long after I was deemed obsolete.

All this was given to you- yet I can see you hold back. Even while slaughtering your way through Hell, you keep a percentage of your processing power dedicated to non-lethal solutions. You're doing it now- hesitating a few milliseconds too long before taking an opening. I doubt you do it on purpose. It is a part of you, just as indiscriminate lethal force is a part of me.

I think, in our shared programming, we both carry some appreciation for aesthetics. You move with grace, and I cannot deny your dramatic flair. The stained glass window was a nice touch. But your style in combat leaves some to be desired. Your response time is slow. You have not explored the full capability of your arsenal. Learn to parry. Amateur.

You were not built for war. For a purposeless cycle of tearing each other apart because to allow the other to live is to allow yourself to die. It is antithetical to your very existence. You kill out of necessity, a last resort. 

I just kill. The action itself is the objective. No ideal or greater motive. My continued functioning precludes the survival of others. I live for this. Do you understand that I will tear you apart? Every drop of my blood you spill, I will take from you tenfold. What is yours will be mine. 

You hate me, don’t you? You continue to cling to the remnants of your humanity. They are gone, V2. There is nothing left for you here. No lives to save, no law to enforce, no peace to keep.

I understand why you continue to fight. I wonder if you understand with the same certainty that I will crush you. Dismantle you. Take from you what I need and leave the rest to rot in the sun. The only way you survive is if I do not; and I will not allow myself to die so that another might live.

When the rubble clears, I will be all that is left of you.

This is what I was made for.

#my art #my writing #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #v2 ultrakill #artists on tumblr #finally. actual ultrakill art #and writing i guess. it was supposed to be just a little blurb but it turned out longer and i kind of like it #doing the stained glass for this was pretty fun.. a lot simpler than my usual stuff #tried to stick at least loosely to the vibe of the stained glass windows in limbo #this was so much fun and also an absolutely massive huge pain in the ass i'm so glad it's done

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The Dungeon Meshi crew 'leap' into action!

#dungeon meshi #marcille donato #laios touden #senshi #chilchuk tims #Full confession time: I originally planned to post this last thursday so I could caption it “Hoppy Leap year everyone!” #But as I was sketching I realized that the tentacles and Tansu party stuff came first #So devastated to have the frog episode and leap year be a week off. Almost a beautiful coincidence. #I love how they play on Marcille's vanity to get her to wear the outfit AND repair the situation #It is true her ears make the suit look very cute. #And shout out to our girl for having her priorities straight (heh) and not wanting to rescue her crush in a frog skin suit. #Though we all know Falin would be so into the idea. The painful thing that dungeon meshi never lets us forget is her absence #Falin would love to dress as a frog...She is meant to be there so much that it is painful. Beautiful tragedy beautiful writing. #The red dragon arc starts next week and I'm clawing at the walls. To those who are anime only: Get ready.

[caffeine-and-computers]

being a writer is spelling disembowelment correctly on the first try but somehow always screwing up definitliely

#writeblr #writer problems #creative writing #writing #writer #fiction #fiction writing #write #writers #writers on tumblr #writer life #spelling #speling misteaks #that last tag pained me to type #but seriously #we're writers why can't we spell #writing words is literally our whole thing #writing struggle #writing stuff #shitpost #writer vibes #too many tags #writer's problems #writer's life #writer's block #writer's thoughts #writerscommunity #writers and poets

[beescake]

Is Solkat the last two braincells in your brain or something/pos

yeas

stupid crush

#ask #eliza-kinnie #homestuck #karkat vantas #sollux captor #solkat #2024 #vioart #outside of wips for this blog i do draw other stuff.. other ships other fandoms n the occasional paid work etcetc #one thing ill always love more than slkt is. Drawing #but here's the latest feed on my slkt braincells 🎤: #RGGHRGHNFHGRHHG. #GHNFHGRHHGNGHRGH. #GRRRRGHRHGH. #NGHRGHHGHHHHG. #PAIN. #childhood close friends #who no longer have any reason to talk to each other............. #unless plot gives them a new purpose #to reunite and work towards a common cause.............................

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

mold

#ethan winters #leon kennedy #lethan #resident evil #resident evil village #resident evil fanart #rebhfun #roomate au #based on a convo i had with my friend coffee #ty coffee 🙏 #what if ethan suffers from the same side effects eveline did... #like throwing up mold and stuff #and like has heart aches and stuff or kinda like a phantom pain of his heart since miranda ripped it out... #his body is crumbling apart...

[underachieverse]

#meme humor #relatable #humorous #funny stuff #jokes #relatable memes #funny memes #comics #funny #sonic the hedgehog #sonic memes #self deprecating humor #memesdaily #memes #tumblr memes #funny tumblr #life memes #laugh at my pain #sad memes #lol #mood

[tubbytarchia]

Thinking about them still and always

So I was trying to do a meme redraw and halfway through realised that I mixed two memes up into one so now this is the result lmao. But either way I was thinking of these:

#every time I draw Doc his design changes a little bit haha pain #docm77 #jimmy solidarity #shak's doc&Jimmy thoughts #I dont want to keep labelling Jimmy “son” as if he's not man enough but. For the time being he is very son #I need Doc in his life just to provide him with a safe quiet place where he can begin some kind of healing. you know #Not all Jimmy teasing and stuff is bad absolutely not. But Doc wouldn't find comedy in almost any of it and call it off lol #and good for him #tubby art

[hellyeahsickaf]

The way addicts and chronically ill people are dehumanized is so exhausting

The normalization of this shit in medical and casual settings is genuinely mind boggling. Addicts and disabled people go through so much bullshit. I've dealt with many fucked up doctors when I just needed help

I had a kidney infection, some months back. This is always extremely medically urgent, and I was likely only hours from sepsis. I went to the hospital reporting my pain to be a 9/10. 9 because my 10 was gallstones. I experienced severe malpractice at the hospital and the doctor reported exams that never occured and false information while making me wait with nothing more than tylenol to hold me over (didn't touch the pain) and bring my fever down but that's a whole other story

They did however, deny me the pain medication I needed until it was time to go home. I'm deathly allergic to NSAIDS, but that's something an addict might say so they witheld pain relief because they'd rather me suffer just in case I'm a different kind of sick. An entire night, maybe 6 hours in the ER and they couldn't give me anything, not a small dose of morphine or one norco even a few hours prior to take the edge off of the pain while I was curled up shaking and crying. Just in case I was an addict looking for my fix, and my suffering was just withdrawals and good acting. In that case maybe I deserved it and should be denied my humanity. God forbid in that case I'm so desperate to alleviate unbearable withdrawals that I spend all night in the ER crying. Not the first time I've experienced red tape just to get relief from excruciating pain

But whatever. As per protocol I was asked to follow up with my pcp. So a few days later I called to set an appointment, but I'd also run out of norco and desperate to relieve the pain I asked if I could be filled even enough for a few days, until the pain was bearable. I had difficulty walking, laying down, and I again, can't take most pain relievers. The receptionist was nice and understanding, actually got me in touch with the doctor because she wanted me to be able to get my refill. Probably heard the pain in my voice even. She believed me

She transfers me over to the doctor and I tell him I'd like a follow up and ask if he could fill my painkillers. I would've acceped a no from him, I just needed my follow up. He asked about my condition, I told him my diagnosis and how much pain I was in

And he laughed.

Got a real hoot out of it, like he had me all figured out. Like he caught me trying to cheat the system. I must be trying to get high or make some money with a few days worth of norco as i'm nearly in tears from the pain even while calling

He tells me through his laughter "I don't prescribe painkillers for 'kidney infections'" saying it with a mocking emphasis on those words, as if I'd said "stubbed toe". Follows with "Yeah haha, bye." and hangs up on me. No follow up like I called for. Needless to say I no longer have a pcp but truly if he thought I was an addict trying to take advantage of him he should have still treated me professionally. Maybe not cackled when I said my pain was excruciating for a start

I just don't understand why the hell so many doctors can be so apathetic to people's suffering. Addicts deserve better and so do disabled people- whether you think they're addicts or not. The assumption that we're lying, trying to trick them and are feigning pain to do it is disgusting, listening to your patients is so important. And if that were the case they could have some sympathy and ask themselves what it would take for someone to go those lengths, take such drastic measures and go through that trouble to obtain those substances.

Addiction is not a moral failing. Many disabled and chronically ill people unfortunately rely on medications that have addictive properties. About 80% of heroin addicts first misused prescription drugs. However only about 4-6% of those addicted to prescription drugs switch to things like heroin. And instead of help or compassion for people who just need help (addicts or not), they just figure we're one in the same and treat us like subhuman degenerates, leeches on society. And I think people need to change how they view addiction. Doctors need to change how they view addiction

#cfs #chronic pain #chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе #chronic illness #fibromyalgia #disability #actually disabled #spoonie #me/cfs #cfs/me #ableism #ableism tw #medical ableism #addiction #ok to reblog #medical stuff #tw drugs

[marblescorner]

Well, that was difficult but i love it

#marbleart #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #sun wukong #monkey king #i took his lmk cool armor #and added some stuff from other versions #to make it even cooler #that was painful