#the parents are so distraced by the major life changes of moving to a new town & caring for a baby that they completely fail to notice

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

In a series of completely unrelated coincidences, the same family moves into a haunted house, attracts the attention of a local poltergeist, purchases an evil ventriloquist dummy, activates a witch's curse, and adopts the newborn antichrist, all in the same week.

#the parents are so distraced by the major life changes of moving to a new town & caring for a baby that they completely fail to notice #most of the supernatural occurrences get blamed on the fact they are living in an old house they bought as a fixer upper #of course it's full of strange drafts and weird noises--the insulation is a mess and there's a family of racoons in the attic #yes the lights are flickering the previous owners tried to do the electrical wiring themselves and now the whole place is a safety hazard #no shit the ventriloquist dummy keep appearing in strange places Little Suzie is always leaving her toys lying around #ok it's a bit weird household objects are levitating but this town is built on a fault line the realtor warned us about microearthquakes