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suzannemcappsca · 5 years

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Optimism in Mediation: Part I – The Captain Goes down with the Ship

Martin Svatoš

You are usually at a disadvantage for you will take over the boat in midst of the conflict storm without having the chance to prepare the crew and to check on the ship. Yet you are charged to navigate the vessel through all perils of misunderstandings, mistrust, and perceptions. It takes time to make sure your course is correct. You have to watch for small signs revealing directions – be it a familiar shape of the land of interests, the lighthouse of apology or little buoys represented by small concessions. And then, as the gale of dispute turns in a breeze of negotiation, you see you are in safe waters once again. You shall never abandon your optimism. For if a captain is lost, so is the whole ship. You are not the one who should give up. Remember, the captain goes down with the ship.

The Importance of Being Optimist

Last week in Paris, I had the opportunity to participate in the 14th edition of the ICC Mediation Competition that was accompanied by a rich additional programme. Once again, this event proved to be full of challenging negotiation simulation led by students from literally all around the world. Apart from the main programme, one was able to engage in roundtable discussions, challenging workshops and countless little encounter with fellow mediators during coffee and lunch breaks. Those little chats gave an opportunity for a gathering of inspiring thoughts and ideas and the only pity was that one cannot recall all of them. However, I retained one especially remarkable. It was a discussion of the indispensability of optimism in mediation.

Optimism is a mental attitude reflecting a belief or hope that the outcome of some specific endeavour, or outcomes in general, will be positive, favourable, and desirable. As such, it is an inseparable part of our personality and is both determined by genetic predispositions and acquired through conditioning and impact of the social surroundings. While the psychologists do not agree on what influence the state of our optimism, they do agree on the positive aspects this characteristic proves to have to our life. Countless studies substantiated that being optimistic improves people’s health, work performance, and other factors relevant to social mobility. Optimistic persons also proved to be more successful students and businesspersons.

Optimist and Pessimist

Despite the lack of similar empirical survey, one would bet the optimistic negotiator would be more successful than pessimistic ones. When it comes to dispute resolution, the ante is even upped. I believe you have to be optimistic (not naive!) to be a good and efficient mediator. And there is a couple of reasons for this statement.

An optimist and a pessimist, Vladimir Makovsky, 1893

First of them is a subjective perception of the disputants. There is a wonderful painting by a Russian artist Vladimir Makovsky called Optimist and Pessimist. I usually show that picture to my trainees and ask them, which of those two persons would be more probably picked up as a mediator by a reasonable third party should the pool of mediators be limited only to this couple. While this is obviously a hard task to do as the respondents are not allowed to question the respective persons’ experiences, training, and skills, the vast majority of attendees opts for the optimistic one without any hesitation. The second (and more important) reason is the faith in the procedure itself. The disputants are coming to the mediation table with distrust to the other party, often stressed and in an emotionally difficult state. Let’s suppose, the parties have met prior to mediation and tried to reach an agreement. They failed. This scenario should be (from the optimistic perspective) read as at least two good signs:

1) The parties showed a will to reach an amicable settlement although for the time being failed. 2) Furthermore, they have found their way to a mediator.

Despite this, the only thing the disputants bear in mind is a purely pessimistic evaluation of their situation. Following are the sentences I am hearing quite often in the early stage of mediations: “Clearly, the settlement of our case is difficult or even impossible.” or “We believe mediation is a useful tool, however, we have tried negotiation by ourselves and were not able to reach an agreement…Mediation will not help in this case…”

Reasonably Optimistic Skipper

Sea wave during storm Designed by bearfotos / Freepik.com

In contrast, mediators must have faith and confidence in the process. In the case they are fully invested into mediation, faith and hope will also transfer to the parties. No need to add, that pessimistic and distrustful mediators will mirror their perception to disputants and make the possibility of settlement even more difficult.

Back in 2009, we were sailing in Balt when a storm accompanied by a gale appeared. The sea turned rough quite quickly and high waves with dense streaks of foam were just terrifying. Our captain, an experienced sea-dog and friend of mine remained calm and optimistic during all the journey. He kept giving us instructions and tasks with good humour. Later that day, after having safely anchored in the marina, we had an interesting conversation:

– “Frankly, were you not frightened…? You did not even look concerned…” I asked him. – “Well, I was aware of all perils we had to tackle but I was sure of my ship and of the educated and well-prepared crew. Should this be different I would never dare to come offshore. You have to be reasonably optimistic as a skipper.”

Today, I believe this concept of reasonably optimistic skipper should apply in mediation too. Though it is not always an easy task. You are usually at a disadvantage for you will take over the boat in midst of the conflict storm without having the chance to prepare the crew and to check on the ship. Yet you are charged to navigate the vessel through all perils of misunderstandings, mistrust, and perceptions. It takes time to make sure your course is correct. You have to watch for small signs revealing directions – be it a familiar shape of the land of interests, the lighthouse of apology or little buoys represented by small concessions. And then, as the gale of dispute turns in a breeze of negotiation, you see you are in safe waters once again. You shall never abandon your optimism. For if a captain is lost, so is the whole ship. You are not the one who should give up. Remember, the captain goes down with the ship.

Life Orientation Test

In the first part of this post, I wanted to share with you some thoughts as to the necessity and nature of optimism in mediation. In the other one, I would like to write about some hints in relation to keeping and even improving optimism in mediation. While waiting for it you might be interested in measuring the optimism of yours. There are numerous ways how to do it, yet the most often used is known as The Life Orientation Test invented by Michael F. Scheier and Charles S. Carver. Its reviewed version is based on answering ten simple questions:

1. In uncertain times, I usually expect the best. 2. It’s easy for me to relax. 3. If something can go wrong for me, it will. 4. I’m always optimistic about my future. 5. I enjoy my friends a lot. 6. It’s important for me to keep busy. 7. I hardly ever expect things to go my way. 8. I don’t get upset too easily. 9. I rarely count on good things happening to me. 10. Overall, I expect more good things to happen to me than bad.

To all those questions, you are supposed to give an answer on the scale (0 Strongly disagree – 1 Disagree – 2 Neutral – 3 Agree – 4 Strongly agree). While the counting of the points is quite complicated, you might be considering to use the following LOT-R Answer Sheet to come out with the results. I will be happy to know what are the outcomes, so if you are willing, do not hesitate to share either in comments or via email.

To be continued

More from our authors:

EU Mediation Law Handbook: Regulatory Robustness Ratings for Mediation Regimes by Nadja Alexander, Sabine Walsh, Martin Svatos (eds.) € 195 Essays on Mediation: Dealing with Disputes in the 21st Century by Ian Macduff (ed.) € 160.00

from Updates By Suzanne http://mediationblog.kluwerarbitration.com/2019/02/20/optimism-in-mediation-part-i-the-captain-goes-down-with-the-ship/

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trulyfrench-blog · 6 years

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French Truly Immersion Course – Eric’s Testimonial

French Truly Immersion Course - Eric's testimonial

In case you didn’t know yet, I organize & teach French Immersion Courses here in France, and you are about to watch Eric’s testimonial about the French Truly Immersion French Language Course she took here in France with me and 7 other students (the maximum amount of participants is 8 for a connected & intimate French language learning experience).

ERIC’S TESTIMONIAL

“Hello everybody!

I would highly recommend Virginie’s immersion trips! My story is I started studying French by myself, I went to France, I loved the language, I’ve always wanted to learn another language so I thought I’d love to try my hand at French.

So I started finding some videos online. There are French videos everywhere on Youtube and Virginie’s videos popped up in my newsfeed so I clicked on one and you how Youtube works another video gets suggested from that channel and eventually I thought “Hey I think this lady knows what she’s talking about!”

So I subscribed to her channel. Virginie talked about this immersion trip she was planning so I emailed her and she emailed me back. We scheduled a Skype call and it went very well. I was kind of nervous about it because I didn’t think I was that good but I was able to understand everything she said and that gave me a lot of confidence.

So I signed up for her trip and the trip’s been great! She’s very knowledgeable, very attentive, very helpful. I would highly recommend this trip to anybody who wants to improve their French and take it to the next level. If you’re already pretty good it will get you even further. And if you’re not so good it will take you where you need to be to improve even better.“

Here’s Eric & Sharie making organic soap at La Savonnerie du Pilat. The owner & artisan Samuel teaches workshops on how to make your own organic soap. Of course the students get to keep all the soap they make during this workshop! Great memories!

Eric about to learn how to cook with saffron. Valérie, an organic saffron farmer, taught us how to make saffron chocolate ganache and saffron choux pastry! Délicieux!

Eric along with the rest of our lovely group of students before a blues concert taking place in a medieval Castle!

FRENCH LANGUAGE COURSE – IMMERSION

Daily French language classes & enriching adventures (visit local artists, meet wine makers, cooking class, etc.) with French people… ALL IN FRENCH! Viens avec nous!

100% FRENCH EXPERIENCE

How best to improve your French conversation skills than by being in France, surrounded with French culture and French people who will ONLY speak French to you? Yet so many times I have heard visitors express their disappointment at not really being given the chance to practice their French. Why? Because more & more French people, especially in big cities, speak English fairly well and are just so excited to practice their new skills with you! This ends up being nice and comfortable for you but not so satisfying or helpful for improving your French speaking ability!

DAILY FRENCH CLASSES

This is the reason why I have created this 7 DAY IMMERSION FRENCH LANGUAGE COURSE for you, filled with daily classes & enriching adventures with French people who will only speak French with you. No English! It’s amazing how much you can learn and retain in such a conducive atmosphere in as little as 7 days. Mornings will be dedicated to French language learning via classes and afternoons will be filled with interesting activities such as: visiting local artists or entrepreneurs workshops, meeting with local wine makers and farmers, guided hike in nature, cooking class, painting class, cinema, & museum… all in French! The most authentic French language learning experience you’ll ever encounter!

WANT TO FEEL EXTRA READY? LEARN FRENCH ONLINE!

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600 WORDS + FEEDBACK

If you are a beginner or at an intermediate level wanting to reinforce your foundations and if you love to learn French online, you’ll love my French language course 600 WORDS! This online French language course will prove to you you can express yourself like the average French person with only 600 words. You will gain access to 15 videos (+ 10 bonus ones) to help & accompany you every step of the way through the French language course + for each word, each sentence, each expression, each conjugated verb, I have created an audio file of my voice, slow and slightly faster speed. Adding the registration link to this French language course HERE.

Here’s some feedback from Matt, one of my online students

“The course is well laid out and easy to follow. I love the clean audio files. It benefits you to have such a lovely speaking voice. It clarifies things. This is a bargain Virginie. Thanks for giving me early access pricing. I think you have provided tremendous value. This motivates me to venture outside of my Mason jar. Lots of work ahead but now I look forward to it. I’m sure I will see progress quickly. Merci! Your normal price is still extremely low in my eyes. I’m not just saying that to be nice. I analyze value and I rarely pull the trigger on much these days. Money is hard to come by (as you well know as a businesswoman), so it must be worth it.”

Matt Molnar

Whether you love to learn French online or are eager to live a unique & efficient French language learning experience, you’ll find your perfect French language course here! I am also working on new online French language courses to complete your 600 WORDS experience so stay tuned!

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ashlidoe095609-blog · 6 years

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Ten Explanation On Why group Is very important.

5 Benefits Of team And also How You Can Make Complete Use Of It.

In major league baseball there are couple of teams that have the eminence of the Boston Redsox. He's likewise currently the undoubted No. 1 receiver for a group with goals of playing a game in Minnesota next February. There is no doubt that the mighty All Blacks, as they are understood in the rugby globe are the best sporting group ever before. Compensate success, whether it's by taking your team to the bar after work, allowing them finish half a hr beforehand a Friday or just giving out a few sweet bars. Everyone in a corporate group generally brings a designation that signifies his location of duty. When a manager places on her training cap, she aids her team develop an efficient approach, method skills, as well as score goals to win the game. The adventurous exterior team structure tasks are not an end in them but incorporate effort as well as analytic exercises, complied with by responses and also discussions. So created a team with varied skills; staff member A is a star on discussions, B is outstanding on the net, C functions magic with the management ... as well as if the group works well you will all pick up from each others abilities and also the group will certainly be in a continuous process of positive advancement! There are numerous other complimentary as well as economical activities in and near Cooperstown for families to delight in. So if you intend to enhance your group culture, start at your next offsite meeting by learning to assume creatively and be resourceful, developing friendship with interactive sessions, and also really feeling excellent by giving back in some way. Neapolitans continued to group into the stadium to support and also enjoy for their team. Whether you are new to coaching Majors or you are a veteran you will certainly find there is better team morale, gamer esteem and also basic friendship when a team achieves success. The Azzurri qualified for the 2nd round of the 1982 World Mug after three unexciting attracts versus Poland, Peru and also Cameroon Having been loudly criticized, the Italian team decided on a press black-out from then on, with only trainer Enzo Bearzot and also captain Dino Zoff appointed to talk with journalism. The only scenario, as well as this has to be a rarity and also justified, where a domestic group could be identified as an excellent group of perpetuity in a global sector, or even then there are holes in the disagreement, is today day Barcelona football side.

Is team The Most Trending Thing Now?

Effectively, the draft method for a 16 group league have to be separated into 3 different strategies: one technique for those draft in positions 1-5, those composing 6-10, and also those drafting 11-16. The even more a team relocates in the direction of high performance indicates that the team's efficiency will boost as will their effectiveness.

Understand group Prior to You Regret.

Taking care of a cross-functional team can be a challenge, but it could also be a tremendously satisfying information systems definition (visit the next document) experience. Group structure workouts in the classroom result in effective trouble resolving, innovative remedies as well as settlement skills. The person that is picking the team needs to think about the needs of the team as it refers to the common goal. As a result, one of the most powerful individual on the committee or team is the one who holds it up the most - the one who is least bright. As an Exceptional Team Player you have step up and start to make the influence you need to - making the impact your future needs of you. In his publication, Five Dysfunctions of a Group", Patrick Lencioni presents a enjoyable and highly ordered account of the auto mechanics of a successful team in the form of a myth, describing the challenges of a new Chief Executive Officer of a technology based firm as well as the course she required to mold an efficient group from an useless one. Some instances of some physical activities for group building consist of parachute games, the human knot video game, relay races, group tag, and also lots of others. Each group has the chance to use one of the webcasted areas throughout their event (weather permitting). To the distress of the critics, the roles are turned around and they are now anticipated to get rid of the bad service practices of the previous team. What resonated with me was that a genuine group collaborates to accomplish the performance required. ARCO DI TRENTO - Anche il Team Gamma era presente al campionato italiano giovanile che si è disputato ad Arco da 2 al 6 giugno per gli under 20 e 10 al 12 giugno each gli under 14. Individuals have to comprehend that being a celebrity" entertainer isn't really as important as being a reliable factor to a star group". By getting every guest to put on their anime tshirt before the event it is dreadfully basic to have tasks that may call for cleaning after the party. Then there are several excellent durations of dominance in the 129 years of All Black history, if it's about various years of any type of team. The variety of programmers in a team could be as little as 3 or May, the variety of 10s or perhaps hundreds of people. An important part of planning the group building workout is choosing a theme that could relieve the individual of typical topics about job. The role of the group leader is not to impose policies yet to promote the setup of contracts that the whole group signs up to. These arrangements might include areas like behaviors and also exactly how conflicts will certainly be fixed. Application- Instructors should know the relevance of growth of both social and job cohesion in their groups to ensure buy-in from all participants of the team. With more hands and minds at the office, you can pass on the ordinary features to your team to ensure that you can focus on more vital aspects like company marketing, expansion and preparation. For example, we supplied our Build-A-Bike ® team structure workshop for a client in the Seattle area last month.

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