#the piano shop on the left bank

[thebroccolination]

Working in an indie bookshop has been a dream. Granted, it's only my first month, but man. :')

By nature of the shop, every shift is different. Tourists, regulars. Some are chatty, some are quiet. New books are always arriving. Events, book club. Seeing what people want to order, getting requests for recommendations.

The customers have all been absolutely lovely and deeply patient with me whenever I have an "I'm new, sorry, one second," moment.

And like, today, a girl came in for a book she had on reserve. I started to ring her up and she said, "Oh, sorry, I paid already," and I had a frozen moment because I realized I had no idea how to check on that in the software. So I made a judgment call based on Vibes and said, "You're good, then!" and handed her the book. She said, "Are you sure?" and showed me her bank app opening on her phone, but I smiled and waved her off. After she left, I rang up another customer, waved goodbye, glanced at the other customers browsing, and then she reappeared and told me, "I'm sorry, it'll stay with me all day if I don't–" and she showed me the transaction on her banking app. We both smiled, and as she headed off again (making sure to close the old door correctly behind her), I watched her go and thought, That's a lovely human being, and I hope she loves her book. (Percy Jackson.)

A pregnant woman came in looking for gifts for the children of a friend she was on her way to see, and she was so bubbly and excited about her own baby, she left me smiling for a good ten minutes after she left.

A man bought four books and his card didn't go through, but I was so busy chatting and laughing I almost missed it. I had to re-scan his books and redo the whole transaction, and he was so understanding and patient, we exchanged two more stories after his receipt came through, and both of us were laughing by the end.

A family of four came in, and one of the girls asked for a horror comic. I couldn't find one, so her father helped her pick something else. After they left, I ordered two middle-grade horror comic books so they'll be there for her next time.

Like, I actually rest on my days off now because I'm not dreading going back. I can't overstate how wild that feels. I have the next two days off, but I'm genuinely looking forward to being back there! When I worked Monday-Friday in an office, I did not have that experience. I got into the bedtime procrastination thing of staying up until 2am on my phone because after the commute to the office, work, and the commute home, I had so little time to myself. I was drained and anxious.

I don't take anything home now. No stress, no reports, no projects. I come home, I get head-bunts from my fuzzy roommates, and I unwind.

Small Talk About Books and Sometimes Also People's Small Dogs: The Job really has been a dream. Today I talked to thirty-six people about books, and in between customers, I read "Welcome to the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop" by Hwang Bo-reum while snacking on rice krispie squares I made and listening to a soft piano Ghibli playlist I put on.

The only downside is the pay, but c'est la retail work.

In conclusion, indie bookshops are very yay, and I'm incredibly grateful to have a job in one. <3

#books #booksbooksbooks

[fatehbaz]

Walk down Washington Street in Lower Manhattan between the Battery Parking Garage and Albany Street, and you’ll see virtually no signs that this area was once home to one of the largest communities of Syrians in the United States. Groups [...] have worked tirelessly to preserve the three remaining buildings [...] that stood during the heyday of New York City’s “Syrian Quarter,” or Little Syria. [...] From 1890 to 1940, Little Syria stood as the mother colony to Syrian and Lebanese communities across the United States. The three-block radius around Washington and Rector was home to newspapers, magazines, restaurants, jewelry shops, banks, barbers, grocers, churches, a mosque, record stores. [...] This was the Mahjar, America’s Arab diaspora. [...]

Tucked within these streets were three Arab American record labels -- Maloof Phonograph Company in the 1920s and 1930s, A.J. Macksoud’s Phonograph Company from the 1910s to the 1930s, and Alamphon Records in the 1930s and 1940s -- now among the most recognizable to record collectors.

---

These labels filled an important cultural gap -- by the 1920s, the US’ two big phonograph record companies, Victor and Columbia, cut back on recording and selling Arab music. And while companies like Beirut-based Baidaphon recorded Syrian and Egyptian musicians and sold their records at home [...]in the early 1900s, by the 1910s that was changing. Mahjari musicians in the United States began to record music themselves, for mahjari audiences.

The music that New York City’s mahjari artists performed from the 1910s through the following 30 years included recorded poems, folk songs from the homeland and original compositions telling of loss, love, [...] and favorite foods from home; the names, tunes, beats and rhythms connected them to their roots and shaped their nostalgia for what they had left behind. There was much to miss, even before leaving what was then known as Ottoman Syria: today’s Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Palestine. The region’s silk industry and other trades were in decline. Political instability and poverty were on the rise. Thousands of former Ottoman subjects soon found themselves in New York City, Boston, Detroit. [...]

---

[T]he performing and literary arts movement that gripped Egypt and Greater Syria during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. That movement was the Nahda, the Arab Renaissance.

The arrival of immigrants from Greater Syria coincided with a boom of gramophone machines, phonograph cylinders and flat-disc records.

And as Arab musicians in Cairo and Beirut recorded music throughout the 1890s and 1900s, thousands of miles away in Little Syria a precocious Alexander Maloof began composing and publishing music for the piano. [...] From a young age, Maloof listened to traditional Arabic music such as mawwal, Arab folk music forms such as the ataaba, and experimented with fusing these with American marches, fox trots, and ragtime.

Meanwhile, by 1907, 29-year-old musician Abraham J. Macksoud, now using the moniker A.J. Macksoud, opened a phonograph record store in Little Syria. [...] Columbia and Victor had already begun to record the songs of mashriqi musicians back home [...], but as late as 1911, no Arab or Ottoman immigrant to the US had recorded specifically for a mahjari audience. That was about to change.

---

On 24 July 1913, Alexander Maloof, now a well-accomplished songwriter and composer, recorded the piano solo B 13834-1, #17443 Al-Ja-Za-Yer (“Algeria”) for the Victor Talking Machine Company.  With Maloof's song, Mahjari musicians had now found a home for recording their music. [...]

The number of Syrian Muslims to emigrate to the United States remained relatively small during the first wave of emigration from 1880 to 1941. Still, in 1916, Columbia recorded one of only a few Syrian Muslim immigrants, Mohamed ZainEldeen. Born in Homs, Syria in 1892, ZainEldeeen arrived in New York in May 1912.  By the fall of 1916, he had cut seven songs on six double-sided discs for Columbia [...]. As the number of Arab immigrant and Arab American musicians grew on Columbia and Victor’s rosters, A.J. Macksoud moved and opened two new record shops at 52 Broadway and 89 Washington Street. [...]

---

The 1920s marked the era when Victor and Columbia lost their monopoly on lateral-cut recording technology, but it is also the period they slashed efforts to record and issue new Arabic-language music. To fill in the gaping hole left in the industry, [...] pianist and composer Alexander Maloof established his own record label. He kept up a break-neck pace appearing on radio, running his record label, composing songs and selling sheet music to publishers.

In October 1923, Maloof finally recorded his “Egyptian Glide” and a second track, “Pharaoh,” on his label’s pressing company, Gennett Records. And despite its long hiatus of recording Syrian American artists, in 1926 the Victor Talking Machine Company even brought Maloof back into the studios, this time with his larger orchestra, to record “Desert Wail” and “Kurdistan.” [...]

On his self-titled label, Maloof recorded former Victor recording artist Ilyas Wardiny, who became one of the label’s most popular singers. [...]

---

Farid Alam al-Din (anglicized Fred Alam) founded the last of Little Syria’s record labels. For years, historians, ethnomusicologists, and even the most experienced scholars presumed Maloof and Macksoud shared the position of Washington Street’s only Arab American record labels headquartered in the heart of Manhattan.

But as the Great Depression saw Maloof and Macksoud shut down their labels by 1935, Fred Alam opened his store and launched his Alamphon Record label from 81 Washington Street.

---

By then, Little Syria as a whole was already in some form of decline. Whether Alam bought out A.J. Macksoud’s inventory or launched his store anew, a 1935 newspaper article read: 

"The Syrian quarter of the town, which for years boasted one of the country’s greatest rag centers, has practically vanished. What remains is in Washington Street down by the Battery. One of the best known is Alfred Alam’s Oriental gramophone record shop. Alam’s phonograph record business is perhaps the only business of its kind not diminished by the radio. [...]”

Little Syria’s Nile Restaurant and the Son of the Sheik restaurant commanded special attention, as did Alfred Alam’s shop. The paper noted “the piles of Egyptian and Syrian Phonograph records at A. Alam’s store. [...]” And yet, that same article also reported the changes that would soon mean Little Syria’s demise, as development and urban renewal programs took hold in Manhattan's Lower West Side.

The construction of the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel in the 1940s meant the destruction of the tenements that once housed thousands of new immigrants and Syrian Americans. The buildings that contained many of the community’s businesses and meeting places steadily disappeared, never to return. [...]

Few traces remain, except the music records that subsequently scattered across the US, from owner to owner.

---

Text by: Richard M. Breaux. “Songs of nostalgia in New York City’s long-lost ‘Little Syria’“. SyriaUntold. 5 March 2021. Article part of SyriaUntold’s ongoing series on Syrian music. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me.]

[siriannatan]

Impatience Waltz -ScottfWhipJimmy

I was out shopping. Had an idea. Came back home. Got distracted. And then remembered the idea. So here is the idea :}

"This isn't exactly what I imagined when you asked me to come over," Scott huffed and wrapped fWhip's coat tighter around himself. The count didn't need it at the moment, seeing that he dragged Scott to the main fishing area of Grimlands to check the fishing nets. "Can't your fishermen check the damn nets themselves? And why this hour?" It was nearly midnight.

"Well, I can't really go and do stuff like this during the day, can I?" the vampire shot him an unamused look. "And Jimmy's been gone almost a month at this point and knowing him he'll come to ruin my nets long before saying he's back," he reasoned and Scott sighed even more. "Don't lie, you like the view," he chuckled and bent over to check another section of nets.

Scott only huffed. Yes, he did like to see fWhip bend over without his dumb, warm, coat. With his pants rolled up to his knees. For the moment it did a good enough job keeping them dry. fWhip was one handsome bastard as much as Scott didn't once want to admit it. He still wouldn't say it to his face. "It's too bad he missed Katherine's spring ball, you looked nice," he might as well use that he as fWhip not distracted by tinkering and chat about more amusing topics than fishing nets and fish wars...

"It was... a thing," fWhip shrugged, moving to a different section of nets. Scott followed along the bank of the river.

"I would think a properly raised noble like you would be more excited about a big fancy ball," fWhip might usually not look it with how much soot and dust there was on his clothes but he was Sausage's younger brother. A noble by birth and raised like one.

"You might have noticed by now that I prefer my workshop, fields and fishing nets more than 'proper noble stuff'. That suit was so uncomfortable," fWhip's retort formed into a whine. "And Gem and Sausage forced me to practice dancing... And then were angry when I didn't, as I told them I would."

"What?" that was news to Scott. He simply assumed fWhip knew how to dance and just didn't like to.

"Well, more like remind me how to... Gem lend us her ballroom since if we were in Mythland we'd be interrupted every five seconds. She even enchanted a piano to play on its own when I said I was not having anyone see it..." fWhip continued to complain in a way that made dance lessons sound like the worst thing that has ever happened to him.

"Would you have danced with me if I asked you?" Scott was really regretting not at least trying and asking fWhip for even one dance.

"I might have, especially since Jimmy wouldn't be there to make fun of me," fWhip chuckled.

Scott hummed. "Would you dance with me after you're done with these damned nets? YOu owe me for not just going home the moment you said that's what you're doing," he asked with a grin.

"You're a menace, and I do not have a ballroom," fWhip instantly turned to give him a flat stare. "Besides, the magic piano as at Gem's and..."

"I don't need some piano, I have this, and we can dance here, I'm not picky," Scott was not giving up and pulled out a rune stone. "It has only one song on it but that should be enough."

fWhip sighed and slowly left the river. Scott wordlessly passed his shoes to him. "Fine, I'll dance with you, the nets are all fine... You will not mention it to Jimmy though," he might have tried to sound annoyed but was smiling. Scott smiled back and as fWhip finished pulling his shoes back on turned the run on. It played a slow waltz. "*cough* Might I have this dance?" fWhip asked with a proper bow, extending a hand towards the elf.

Scott was not expecting it in the slightest and a blush managed to spread across his face. "I... um... and you call me a menace... Of course you can you idiot," he stammered and accepted fWhip's hand.

The vampire just chuckled. "I hope my ability to lead is not too rusty, Sausage did not practice it with me," he hummed and Scott could not help but giggle as he imagined it.

fWhip's ability to lead in a waltz was at all not rusty. In truth, he was annoyingly good at dancing. And damn handsome up close. Not something that happened too often with how busy both of them usually were...

But before he could voice his annoyance a familiar voice both of them have been missing nearly a month suddenly startled them. "Shouldn't you two be sleeping?"

When they looked to the source of it there was a Jimmy. A whole lot taller than they remembered and much more mature-looking Jimmy who was apparently done with his weird fish-demi-god puberty and glaring at them with crossed arms. His toothy smile betrayed how happy he was to see them.

"I don't have to sleep, and Scott was free to leave whenever he wanted," fWhip huffed and dipped Scott, resuming their dance. Scott suddenly had the urge to kiss him. It was an urge he had quite often but couldn't always act upon. Now wasn't one of those moments so he grabbed fWhip's face and kissed him.

"I was up because I wanted to sleep with at least one of my boyfriends," he grinned and escaped fWhip's hands to snatch and deactivate the rune stone. "So? Does either one of you want to sleep with me?"

"Yes," Jimmy and fWhip said at once. "And never show that rock to Gem. She was so proud of her piano," fWhip sighed.

"What piano?" Jimmy asked, easily picking both fWhip and Scott up.

"I'll explain another time," fWhip waved it off.

"Sausage was teaching him to dance." Scott giggled and earned himself a weak glare. 

fWhip ignored the rest of the conversation. Even vampires got tired eventually and he barely rested the last week, too busy missing a certain merling ruler. "You're stupid tall now," he huffed, very displeased with said fact.

#my stuff #my stories #fanfic #fanfiction #empires smp #empiresshipping #empires scott #empires fwhip #empires jimmy #scfwhimmy #empires s1 #vampire fwhip

[deada55]

The Snow

crossposting: ao3

synopsis: Serveta takes a young Skwisgaar on an errand.

for kloktober day 20: keeping secrets or coming clean

“Mom, where do the pigeons put their babies?”

    Flocks of filthy birds were nodding their little heads all over the sidewalk. Serveta watched Skwisgaar’s step for him and pulled them to the right, away from the curb while he gawked. From the numbness of her right hand, she knew she should have brought his gloves along, but her left hand would have to keep him warm enough. She gave him a squeeze when she felt him lean away, and he came back instantly. When they traveled, he was an extension of her, and she couldn’t be prouder than when he was so clearly disciplined and well-groomed. 

    “I don’t know.”

    She watched their feet in the shop windows, measuring the length of her stride and the ease of it, where her heels hit, in comparison to her son’s easy pace. At the same time, she couldn’t go too confidently and outpace him, or else she’d make him look clumsy or start dragging along, breaking the ease and style of a mother and son in sync. She bought their clothes from the same places, inspecting yarn weights and comparing the nuances of dye in shirts and pants. She’d had their outfits today altered by a tailor so the lining of his jacket would be cut from the same silk as her blouse. She shouldn’t have worn these earrings-

    “Mom?”

    She looked down, and his hair was still in order. He knew better than to stop on the street, but she trusted the lowering of his eyebrows to tell her that she’d made a mistake.

    “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

    “I said I think… that they stay in the nest.” She’d taught him not to stutter and not to waste time on empty noise, just to pause (a trick she learned in pageants.) 

    She smiled. “Skwisgaar, but how would they show off their little babies, huh?” 

    “Wouldn’t they get lost?” It was hard to pick just one pigeon to watch when they were all pecking and pulling at the same apple core. It was one big pile of feathers that flapped one collective jump backwards when a motorbike raced up the side of the street. 

    “Mm. Maybe. They don’t have any hands to hold, do they?” She held her head just a little bit higher when he returned a squeeze to the fingers.

    He raised his eyebrows and sighed. “Mom, I’m hungry.”

    That made her slow down. Wouldn’t it make any mother feel guilty?

    “Well, I don’t have any money right now, but we’re not out of options-”

She pulled to the left towards the parking meters and lifted off the top layer of snow (no deeper, she wasn’t going to eat bird shit on the street for free.) She packed it into a small-ish ball and popped into her mouth, careful of her makeup. 

“See?”

“Mom!” It was worth a laugh. He had her smile, but different teeth. “Your hand’s cold-” 

    She brought him to a street that was a parent’s nightmare, with a toy store, a candy store, a couple little lunch spots, and a piano tuner’s showroom of restored and secondhand instruments. The nearest police station was a block away, and so was the apartment she’d scratched down on the back of a financial advisor’s business card. She led him over to a wall and bent closer to the level of his face like she had many times before.

    “Ok. Mommy's gotta run to the bank. I put pay phone money and a phone number in an envelope in your breast pocket if anything happens. Show me your-” She didn’t wait, and grabbed his left wrist to check the time on his toy watch. “Good. I’ll be back in an hour.”

    To her, he looked fine about it. He got better at it every time she had to leave him like this, but she’d rather him have to rely on a relatively safe public place with relatively safe public protection than the living room of a rich man who rewards their mistresses with paper bills. Even if he were upset, it was getting close to 2:00, and she didn’t stand to be late when it mattered the most.

    “If anyone grabs you or tries to touch you-”

    “Scream.”

    “-as loud as you can, scream and run.” 

    She pressed her lips together and gave him a quick hug, then curled her index and middle fingers. “Finger kisses!” He got peppered with kisses by the second-shortest bones to keep his face from getting stained by her lipstick. Even if it was babyish, his mother’s fingers were warm.

    “Ok? I’ll be back in an hour. When it gets close, pick a spot and stay there, and I’ll find you.”

    “Ok, mom.” He’s been here, he’s done it, and she stood up with a straight posture and bent arms like she were marching away to an army skirmish, just to keep it light, for her own sake. 

    Before she went in, she looked into another window to check her hair and found five new problems with it, and her earrings didn’t go with anything. She looked too twee and too matronly at the same time, and her skirt’s hem might have been the right length but the seams were chunky-looking. Her shoes were so flawless that they looked desperately new. She chalked herself up to be a disaster in rouge. The loathing didn’t wane since she’d been young, since she’d join pageants, since she was Skwisgaar’s age. It never went away. As vile as she was, she went into that apartment pretending she had a superpower and ready to get double the money she came here for. 

    The minute he invited her in, she pretended he was Jesus Christ with a big cock and a check for fifty million dollars, just like every other man.

    An hour later, he finally had his fill and she stood in front of the bathroom mirror to inspect the wreck that used to be her face. She couldn’t go back out until something had been done: her lipstick had crept past the lipliner and if it stained her face she just might scream. She kept four handhelds in her purse and refilled them on the first of every month so she’d have enough to re-touch her entire face once a day, maybe even twice. Skwisgaar couldn’t be left to the wolves at home all weekend, but she didn’t buy that house by staying home. She didn’t really buy that house at all, her father did. It still wasn’t her money that paid the bills, but her father would have died almost nine years ago.

He would have been disgusted if he went back out to the open looking like a whore that’d been mashed into a pillow until she could hardly breathe. It didn’t matter what she was doing: if she did it looking ugly, it would be better not to do it at all. The creases in her eyeshadow made her flinch inside. She looked like a woman who deserved to be beaten, and her heart wouldn’t let her forget even if her feet always knew to step gracefully. Skwisgaar would just have to wait.

It was 3:45 when she made it out of there with a wad of cash in her purse where her spare pair of pantyhose used to be. The sidewalk in front of her was crystal clear at the end of a blurry tunnel, and every fluttering wing sounded like wind screaming in through the front door and the heavy sound of her father’s coat over a splintered wooden chair.

    If she hadn’t spent so long fixing his hair before they left the house, she wouldn’t have recognized Skwisgaar on a bench outside the police station. She sided up to him before he noticed, but when she took him under her arm, he was stiff, clutching the bottom hem of his coat.

    “You can’t sit in front of the police station so sad like this. They’ll think no one’s coming for you, Skwisgaar- Ooh, ooh be careful!”

"What were you doing in the bank that long, Mom? What were you doing? It's been two hours! Mom?!"

    She used the last un-sticky part of her handkerchief to dab at his eyes before any tears could turn him pink. She'd let him have his little moment of drama. It was cold, he must be bored, and he was only eight. 

“Look, I’m sorry I was late, there was a line! What do you want to have for dinner? We can have anything you want, my treat.” 

He held her hand as they walked, and when she caught their reflection in a passing car, all she could see was him.

#really lose interpretation of the prompt egjperg #i started writing one thing and ended up with another #kloktober 2022 #kloktober #serveta skwigelf #skwisgaar skwigelf #metalocalypse fanfic #metalocalypse #my writing

[welldonebeca]

Miss, PhD (VIII)

WC: 1.2k words Warnings: Fluff.

If you like my work, consider buying me a coffee or subscribing to my Patreon. It’s just $2 a month and helps a lot while I go through these hard times.

Masterlist

Steve was tense as he paced back and forth in front of the mall, anxious as he waited for Natasha to arrive.

Alright, so maybe he was feeling a little guilty.

He had given you the hardest time around him, had judged you and been a major asshole.

The very least he could do was get you a birthday gift.

The problem, obviously, was that he didn’t know what to give to you.

Which was why Natasha was here with him.

“You look miserable,” his friends spoke as she strode to his side, holding a cup of coffee and not bothering to take off her sunglasses.

“I feel miserable,” he mumbled.

Shame hurt a little, which he didn’t know before this. He was feeling very guilty, and there was something deep in him that Steve couldn’t quite name. Or rather, didn’t want to name.

He wanted you to be happy and associate him with happy things, not with the asshole he’d been to you.

“What are we doing here?” she asked, moving in the direction of the door, and he followed her.

“We’re looking for a gift,” he pushed his hands into his pockets, a little too anxious.

Nat hummed along.

“Let me guess,” she took off her glasses. “You new boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Steve felt his cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“Natasha!” he hissed.

His friend gasped, turning to look at his face.

“You’re in love?” she asked, looking surprise.

Steve opened and closed his mouth, feeling like a damn fish out of water all of a sudden.

“I… you…’ he stuttered. “I mean…”

Her face softened, as if she could read his mind.

“Alright, they don’t know yet,” she decided. “We’ll find something nice for them.”

Once again, he was left to open and close his mouth, just shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. It was best not to say anything.

Damn, Natasha.

“I’m not in love,” he answered, at last.

Saying that phrase made him feel like a six feet tall toddler insisting they weren’t sleepy.

“Sure,” she looked over her shoulder to him. “If you say so.”

Steve scoffed, and tried hard not to cross his arms as he followed her along, looking around, trying to get something to call his attention.

Window shopping wasn’t his favourite activity, be didn’t find anything good enough online, and how could he be sure his data was safe on those websites? And he didn’t want things to take too long to arrive, he wanted to have your gift in his hands before his neck class, he knew he could just walk by your department and then give it to you there.

“Is it Stark?” she looked at him.

Steve raised his eyebrows, caught off guard.

“Who?” he asked, surprised.

Nat rolled her eyes.

“The gift person,” she explained. “Is she the one you’re getting a gift to?”

He cleared his throat.

“Yes,” Steve confirmed. “It’s Miss… uh, doctor…” he looked for words. “It’s Stark.”

Dammit. He didn’t even know how to call you anymore.

You were a doctor, so it would be disrespectful to call Miss. But he’d spent so much time with you that it felt weird to call you Doctor Stark. Or even just Stark.

You had a name, for fuck’s sake. And yet, Steve didn’t feel worthy enough to be calling you by it.

“And do you even know her enough for that?” Natasha asked, confused.

Steve just looked away.

He hadn’t told anyone he’d spent the night in your home - not even Nat and Buck, who were his best friends and even knew his bank information, for safety - and wasn’t too comfortable sharing that information.

“I know a bit,” he decided.

His friend stared at his face, moving a hand and taking off her sunglasses, seemingly waiting for a full answer.

“She likes paintings, and plants,” he told her, clearing his throat. “And pasta.”

Nat nodded slowly.

“And playing piano while eating pudding with popcorn?” she teased him.

Steve blushed.

“It’s what I know, okay?” he insisted. “Three things that can help us.”

Natasha shook her head and sighed.

“Alright, let’s see if we can find something for someone who likes pasta, paintings and plants.”

He rolled his eyes, but continued to follow her.

“And does she have any pets?” his friend asked, looking curious.

Steve raised his eyebrows in questioning, and she rolled her eyes.

“Pun not intended,” she assured him.

Appeased, at last, Steve shook his head.

“She doesn’t,” he answered, quick to add. “Not that I know, at least. I never asked.”

None of your pictures had a pet in it, and there wasn’t a single sign of a pet in your house.

So you probably didn’t have one.

Nat pointed at a store, and he followed her inside, seeing a few mugs displayed.

“It makes sense,” she noticed, looking around. "One of my students said to this generation, pets are the new kids, plants are the new pets and air fryers are the new plants."

Steve blinked slowly, a bit confused.

“Air fryers?” he repeated.

Those cooking things?

“He is Brazilian,” she explained herself. “I think it is trendy there.”

He shrugged, and turned to look at her when she picked up a mug, showing it to him.

“Pasta Lover,” she showed the wording in the porcelain material. “It’s nice.”

He tried not to scoff. It was a nice mug, but it wasn’t something he saw you even holding. Now that he was thinking of it, he hadn’t seen any interesting mug in your home.

“She is not mug kind of person,” Steve decided.

Natasha put it back into place and Steve looked around, keeping his eyes open to find something interesting.

He was a little surprised and interested when he saw the tall thermic glass with the drawing of plants in a white background.

“I like this one,” he turned to Natasha. “It’s useful.”

His friend, however, pointed him to some decorations on the walls, and he was surprised to see the plant hangers in it.

They were a way better idea, yes.

“Excuse me,” someone called by his side, and Steve looked at his side to find an employee.

“Can I help you with anything?”

He turned back to the plants hangers and pointed at them.

“I would like two of those,” he asked. “Please.”

The girl nodded.

“I’ll go pick them up on the back,” she told him. “You can go ahead and wait for me in the paying area.”

Steve nodded, following to a counter, but his eyes were caught on something behind a glass.

A necklace.

The shop worker walked in his direction with the plant hangers, and Steve cleared his throat quickly.

“Hey,” he called her. “Can I see that necklace?”

She unlocked the glass door and took a box from behind it, opening it for Steve. It was a little lotus flower, very dainty and discreet, with a text over and then under it.

Green Thumb. Noun.

Something possessed by a very special kind of person who spreads joy in the world through growing lush gardens.

“I’ll take this too,” Steve decided. “And it’s a gift. Can you wrap it, please?”

“In green paper?” the shop worker offered, smiling.

Steve couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes, please.”

. . .

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[leftoverenvy]

Tastes Like Sugar (ch. 9)

Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades.  Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune.  The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend.  As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur.  But money can't buy love, right?

Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss

Warnings: eventual smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18)

Word Count: 2.2k

Read on Wattpad | Ao3 | Previous Chapters

Taglist: @ssa-sapphic 🧸; @5raysofsunshine 🌮; @reidselle 🦭; @milfprotector 🐝💚; @gaelic-symphony 🎻 ; @scargarcia-magshotchner 💜; @sadgirlml 🌻💌; @hotchs-bitch ; @multiverse-mxdness ; @spencersendgame

Chapter 9 - Chanel or Chopin?

The next three weeks passed in a blink of an eye.  Our conversation after the art gallery was long forgotten.  Any awkwardness from it lasted only a day, and it was all on my end. I went to school and Emily went to work.  If she was home, our evenings were filled with light conversation about our days, and little things to get to know each other.  Each day spent with Emily did nothing to help my mounting feelings.  I thought surely seeing her at home would take away the mystery surrounding her.  I thought maybe if I saw her let her guard down, she would do something embarrassing, and the attraction would dissipate.  Seeing Emily makeup-less and at ease only made my feelings stronger. 

Emily made it hard to forget how I felt about her.  She was just so attentive.  She was always taking care of me, making sure I wasn't stressing myself out with school.  When she was away on a case, she tried to call me every night.  When she couldn't do that, she made sure to call me during my breaks between classes.  Even if we only got a few minutes each day she was away, they were always the best minutes of those days.  I counted down each minute from when she was called to a case to when she returned home to me.

Emily was easy to live with.  Some days, even if she was home, she would lock herself in her office and I rarely saw her.  Some days we read in silence together in the library.  But some days we stepped on each other's toes when we were both trying to get out of the house for work and school.  The first week together was full of awkward bumps in the kitchen, questions about where the coffee carafe was, and the like.  For the most part, we made very small adjustments to incorporate the other into our lives.  It wasn't perfect, but we were working it out.

Emily was really the perfect housemate.  She was quiet, she wasn't a picky eater, for the most part she was pretty tidy, and most importantly, she never cared when I played the piano.  Often, she let me play well into the night.  She said during the day, it was nice to not have a silent home, and at night it was peaceful to fall asleep to.

Emily and I rarely fought.  In fact, when I thought I had failed one of my duties by forgetting about dinner, I thought it would cause a huge fight.  I thought I'd have to return part of my allowance.  One night, Emily had come home but my professor had kept me late in the studio, so dinner wasn't ready for her.  I apologized profusely, but she didn't mind.  She simply picked up the phone and ordered take-out.  And she paid.  I expected since dinner was part of my duties, I would be left with the bill.  But she simply dismissed me with a wave of her hand and a soft smile.

However, when we did fight, it was always about one thing: money.  She constantly asked to take me shopping, wanting to buy me something to see what I actually liked so she could stop guessing.  Because each time she came home from a case, she came home with a cheesy local gift from where she had been and a more serious gift, like a blue Tiffany box.  And if she weren't away on a case, she would still frequently surprise me with flowers.  Every time she came home with an expensive gift, I thanked her genuinely, but always uncomfortably.  Because I didn't deserve all that.  She had already spent so much on me, but she didn't seem to notice or care.  I was only in this for help with school, and she had already taken care of that.  I didn't need anything else.

On a rare Saturday she had off, she dragged me to the mall, claiming she needed things for herself.  She held up a dress that – unfortunately for me trying to make a point – was incredibly cute.  "This would look so pretty on you, Indi."

"I thought we were shopping for you, Em," I pointed out sourly.

She winked.  "I can multi-task."  I would have had a quick response for her, but her wink short-circuited my brain.  In our first few weeks, I thought we were on equal footing with being flirtatious.  Emily soon surpassed me.  She quickly learned what to do and say to keep my brain from functioning fully when around her.  I swore she was doing it on purpose just to get her way.  Unfortunately, it worked.

When we got to lunch that afternoon, I couldn't help it.  I unfairly exploded about how much money she was spending on me.  "Emily!  You have to stop wasting money on me."

As if there weren't a huge volcano about to burst three feet away form her, she calmly looked up from her menu over her glasses.  Her left eyebrow quirked up at me, and my temper cooled slightly.  She was so cute right now and she didn't even realize it.  "And why should I?"

"You spent so much on school this semester," I reminded.  Her brow quirked again.  God I was a goner.  "And that's what you agreed to pay for, but all the rest of this is unnecessary."

She sighed and rolled her eyes.  "How many times do we need to have this conversation, India?"

"I'm just uncomfortable," I admitted.

She reached across the table and grabbed my hand, her thumb smoothing soothing patterns on the back of my hand.  "Why's that?  I thought we worked this out."

"I'm just not worth it.  It's such a waste."  I looked down, embarrassed to have said that out loud.  I heard her chair shuffle and then felt her hand under my chin, lifting it to look into her eyes.

"Sweetheart, I understand you didn't grow up with a lot of means.  And I think it's remarkable what you've done to get to this point in your life.  But just because you aren't used to being spoiled doesn't mean you aren't worthy of being spoiled."  She shook her head as if frustrated and then bit her lip.  "I-" she paused again.  "I care for you, Indi.  And I want to show you how much I'm thinking of you when I come home from a case with a silly keychain from rural Kansas.  But I also want to adorn you in beautiful jewelry because you deserve nothing less. 

"You are so beautiful India Mae.  You deserve all the diamonds and opals.  You deserve to be taken to the nicest restaurants.  You deserve the finest of everything.  And I want to give that to you.  Nothing given to you is a waste.  You hear me?  I am lucky for every second you spend with me.  Let me show you how special that is to me."

Tears welled in my eyes.  I tried my hardest to suck them back in, but one fell down my face.  Her thumb swiped it away, her touch soothing all my fears.  "Okay," I whispered.  Her soft smile crumbled the last of my resistance.  How could it not when it was achingly sweet?  And that's the day I knew I had fallen in love with Emily Prentiss.

______________________________

Emily: I'm taking you out tonight. Wear that burgundy dress we got a few weeks ago. It's a nice event. Eat dinner on your own and be ready at 6:00 😘

Indi: Where are you taking me?

Emily: It's a surprise, angel.

Indi: What kind of surprise?

Emily: The kind of surprise where I don't tell you what it is beforehand. 😜

Indi: 🥺 please

Emily: No amount of pouting is going to work. Though I do think you'll like this date, Ms. Banks.

Date.  She had called it a date.  And it wasn't on the schedule, so I knew it wasn't a planned event I had to go to.  All day I worried about what kind of "date" this really was.  But I dutifully followed her directions; I did my hair and makeup and put on the dress she told me to.

I was waiting downstairs, ready to go at 6:15.  I worried because Emily hadn't been home yet.  How was she going to get ready in fifteen minutes?

Emily walked through the garage and walked towards the stairs, bypassing me completely.  "India?" she called up the stairs.  I giggled and she whipped around.  "Woah, Em."  I couldn't stop ogling her.  "You look beautiful."  It was rare for Emily to wear a dress, but good lord did she look amazing.  Her long, smooth legs were on full display, looking even longer due to her heels.  I idly wondered how they'd feel wrapped around me. 

Instead of feeling her legs wrap around me, Emily crossed the room and wrapped me in her arms.  Though it wasn't unheard of for us to hug, it was rare.  If Emily was going to be affectionate even when no one was around, I wouldn't complain.  "Hi, angel," she whispered into my ear.  I shuddered at the feel of her breath on my skin.  She kissed the top of my head and asked, "How was your day?"

"Good," I smiled at her.  "Though I did worry all day about where you were taking me tonight," I joked.

"Why don't we go find out then, yeah?"  She looped my arm over hers and escorted me to the car.  And thirty minutes later we pulled in the valet line at the performing arts center.  Excitement bloomed in my chest.  I racked my brain trying to recall what was happening tonight.

"Em-" but she was already getting out to hand her keys to the valet.  Emily pulled my door open a few seconds later and I remembered what we could be doing here.  "Em!" 

"Yes?" 

"Are we seeing the National Symphony Orchestra perform Chopin??"  I could barely contain my excitement.

She smiled, "Yes."  I threw my arms around her.  I had no hope of showing a little more decorum.

"Thank you!"

"Shall we?" she asked holding her arm out.  I looped mine with hers and rushed inside.  As we walked into the Kennedy Center, I thought this was spoiling I could get used to.

It was a magnificent show.  I was captivated the whole time.  Though tickets weren't super expensive for students, I had never been to see the National Symphony perform before.  And to see some of my favorite pieces performed was magical, especially from Emily's seats.  I gripped Emily's hand during the whole show, unable to let go.  I needed her to see how much this meant to me.  It meant more than anything from Tiffany's or Swarovski ever could.

I raved about the show all the way home.  I was surprised Emily let me discuss every song and every emotion I felt for over half an hour, but she did so without complaint. 

When we walked through the door, I immediately grabbed a bottle of water and she stopped to stare at me, worry creasing her brow.  I also noticed her picking at her nails.  "Em?" I asked concerned. 

She took a step closer to me.  "Was tonight okay?"

"'Okay'???" I asked astounded.  I walked towards her until I was standing just before her.  "Emily, tonight was one of the best nights of my life.  Chopin is my favorite composer; I don't know if you knew that.  Thank you," I said cupping her face.  I don't know whether it was the fact that she called tonight a date, or that I was a masochist and apparently wanted to set myself up for heartache, but I reached up on my tippy toes and kissed her on the cheek.

It was difficult to pull away.  The way she was looking at me set me on fire.  I felt my stomach flip pleasantly.  "You look beautiful tonight, Indi.  I don't think I told you earlier.  But you do.  You always do."  She leaned down again, as if she were going to kiss me for real.  I felt the air charge between us.  My breath caught in my throat.  She moved infinitesimally closer until she was just a few inches away.  I burned for her to speed things up.  What was she waiting for?

The shrill ring of her phone disrupted the stillness of the kitchen.  We pulled back, startled.  She huffed in frustration, her eyes tightening in anger.  She answered with a clipped, "Prentiss."  After about twenty seconds she hung up and sighed deeply.  "I have to go."

"Now??" I asked in disbelief.  She nodded.  "It's nearly 10:00 pm."

"I know," she said stepping forward to kiss me on the forehead.

"Uhm," I said my eyes closing at the pleasure of having her lips on me.  "Thanks again for tonight."  I didn't want her to go.  We almost had a moment just now, and now she had to leave.  It was so unfair.

"I'll see you in a few days, baby."  She squeezed my arm and stepped around me.  When she disappeared upstairs to change and grab her go-bag, I couldn't help but feel empty.  And once again, I went to bed without Emily Prentiss.

_ _ _

Continue to next chapter

#🌬 fics #tastes like sugar #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x oc #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds au #wlw writing

[dragonheadskilax]

YT link, and lyrics:

A story of the interesting little people whom we meet in the newsreel theaters of the world. (singing) I meet the furious, curious, penurious people of the day and in their funny way ha ha I find them very gay. I learn the history, mystery, blistery tales of love and hate, of the very small and the very great - wait! (speaking) Flood Time in the South Once again the mighty Mississippi overflows her banks and runs thru the once arid city of Flukesville, Alabama. We hear of the disaster from one of the survivors Miss Lucy Debussey. Miss Debussey: "I was giving a music lesson in the home of a Mrs. Wesson when the flood began the family ran but I was true to my Chopin. The people left and took to boats while I was playing my silvery notes and then the piano floated away and I was left without no pay. I held my music in my mouth and swam upstream away from that South. I met my folks in Cincinnati, but they turned their backs because I looked so ratty, that's my family for you.” A Famous Hollywood Masseuse Gives Business Hints This brave tailored little woman reveals all, "I started in a salad shop and beat my way right to the top but I found more money in Miss Garbo's legs than I did in whipping up four dozen of eggs. They stood up for me in that Western town cause I whapped so hard they could not sit down. If you want to make money, my advice to you is to save your paddle and sell your canoe. After working for forty years, Mrs. Daisy Wiggle has finally completed a doll house made completely from human hair. This tiny elfin little dwelling contains one hair from every nation and notable in the world. Mrs. Wiggle: "Pulling hairs is lots of fun, you really ought to try it. * strained chuckle * From kings and queens and everyone I've snitched hairs on the quiet. They never miss a strand or so don't even know they're gone and if they turn around you know, I merely scamper on. I've lovely hairs from horses' tails from apes and marmosets I've elephant hairs as tough as nails and lots of graaand egrets, uh-huh! of course I never did believe a bit of this work could make me rich, you silly, but I'll take it apart some day and weave myself a beauuutiful switch, ah ha ha ha. The citizens of Umlaut, Arizona were amazed today to find Mrs. Gazpo, a resident fortunately not from the town proper, walking in the streets completely nude. Mrs. Gazpo claimed that she'd been attacked by a swarm of locusts and refused to be ashamed of her lack of clothing. Mrs. Gazpo: "I was riding leisure like to town when a swarm of locusts settled down on me and Maybrie, that's my horse, and they bit and chawed with all their force. They ate poor Maybie cleeean away. Ate meh clothes and my hair turned gray Now here I am like I was born, and them rascals yellin’, ‘September Mourn’ It ain't September, them sassy little brats ought to give me their coats and a tip up their hats. I’m a church goin’ woman and I ain’t worried I’m gonna buy a new horse and I won’t be hurried. I may get a dress if my money holds out. Boys, look at me and learn what it's about." 

✍︎︎ Notes: “September Morn” is a painting from Paul Chabas from 1912, famous for its indecency scandal in the US, it became popular for many years. “Miss Garbo” refers to Greta Garbo, a bisexual actress. The Hollywood Masseuse character is a butch woman, noted with how Bruz had to deepen his voice to play as the character.

#bruz fletcher #1930s music #music #audio #pansy craze #gay artist

[lindsaystravelblogs3]

Days 84/85 to 87 – Friday-Sunday, 18-20 August    Warsaw

(Because we were so long in the air and crossed so many time-zones, the title above may look strange, but it really is Friday, 18 August, having transitioned through 17 August some six paragraphs back in my previous post.)

Friday

We planned a lay-day for today – we welcome the occasional day off from the stress of travel and unfamiliar things, so enjoy a day hiding out in our room from time to time.

We had cereal for breakfast, using up the last of what we had purchased in Athens (that was ages ago) and spent a good deal of the morning reorganising, catching up with email, writing and editing photos, and responding to the many emails about the hiccups from the day before.

We went out for a walk at about 3pm and explored a little of our local area and went to find where our tour left from the following day.  We walked through a couple of the main squares and explored some of the old city, and enjoyed a very expensive drink at a little café.  It was quite near a McDonalds, so instead of breaking the bank at the café, we sat and shared some snacks and watched the world go by at McDonalds.

We had bought tickets for a Chopin concert online, but didn’t know where it was – in the Fryderick Concert Hall, but nobody had heard of it.  Chopin was born and lived in Warsaw and there were lots of Chopin concerts on, but nobody knew about this one.  We went to a few places that I had seen advertising Chopin concerts, and asked a range of local people, all to no avail.  We basically gave up, but as a last resort tried the Tourist Information Centre - and although they hadn’t heard of it, they tracked it down for us (back close to McDonalds again) so we ran up there and found it.  It is not visible from the street, in a walled area with a variety of other arts groups, so we enjoyed some free bubbles while we caught our breath and went in and sat down.  The concert was fabulous – some familiar pieces, some less familiar, but the Music Professor who played the piano for us was brilliant and the music was simply rapturous.  It had been hard work finding the place, but worth it ten times over.  A great experience!

It wasn’t a late night so we walked back to our hotel and on to the supermarket we had patronised yesterday – and ate spicy noodles in our room again for dinner.

Saturday

We had breakfast in our room and were out before 9.30am to ride the HOHO bus for which we had purchased tickets.  We rode the Blue Line first and it was pathetic.  The driver was clearly in a hurry and we were often well past a memorial or notable site before the commentary told us that ‘you are now approaching the site of……’  The whole thing was farcical and not worth a tenth of what we had paid.  All HOHO buses worldwide offer a 10% discount if you show them a receipt from a previous excursion – but in Warsaw, they don’t honour their promise for some reason.  But the driver asked if we were seniors (do we still look like teenagers) and agreed to give us the 10% seniors’ discount anyway.

We Hopped Off before the end of the line and went to a big shopping mall where we had lunch – but not before walking all over the place looking for a sporting goods store that sold hiking stick tips.  We eventually found one and bought six tips - a good job too, because we have already used four of them.  We then had lunch at a Japanese restaurant – and very nice it was too.

We rejoined the Blue Line after quite a wait and rode it back to the starting point where we joined the Red Line.  That was considerably better than the Blue Line, but had the problem of driving down several streets with healthy street trees that slapped the unwary in the face of those sitting in the unprotected top level of the double-decker bus.  That has been a minor issue on other HOHO buses, but with so many more green spaces in Warsaw, it was a much more significant problem here.

Toward the end of our ride, the clouds became ominous and we thought we might have had to retreat to the crowded downstairs level, but we made it back to the terminus free of rain.  In fact, despite another fierce afternoon thunderstorm, there was very little rain, just a few spots that had no impact at all on us.

We stopped in at a different supermarket a little closer to our room for more water and then ate dinner in our room, serenaded for at least two hours by an electric harp and a cello, played by a couple of young women we had seen a couple of times in our travels.  They were playing in the restaurant below our window.  It was quite delightful.

Day 87 – Sunday, 20 August 

We had a walking tour in the morning that actually extended to 2pm, by which time we were glad to be able to sit down and have something to eat.

It was a good tour with quite a lot of walking, but we saw some interesting things.  One was the house where Marie Curie was born and raised – almost diagonally across the road from our hotel.  We also saw a great statue of her overlooking the river and a large area of parkland. 

Our guide told us a lot about the horrific carnage that occurred in Poland, and especially in Warsaw, over centuries, but focussing largely on the German, and subsequent Soviet, slaughter and destruction during the Second World War. 

There was a short-lived (2-month, mainly Jewish) uprising against the German Occupation and Himmler instructed that every person in Warsaw should be killed and every building destroyed as punishment and as an example to the rest of the world that Germany was willing to do absolutely anything to gain its objectives in the war.  Hundreds of thousands were shot or taken to the nearby concentration camps to be exterminated, and every building for kilometres around was blown up.  We saw photos of the utter destruction brought about as a result of the decree.  Once the Soviets took over, they were as bad, and Warsaw was almost wiped from the map within a couple of years as a result.  Hospitals and churches in particular were targeted and everyone who could be found was murdered.  We saw lots of evidence of the damages and  even saw a pit-cover in the middle of an intersection where many of the Resistance accessed the sewers in an attempt to escape.

The manhole cover in the middle of the intersection through which some of the Resistence fighters eascaped into the sewers. The lower of the two street signs on the building (on the right) was somehow used to indicate to the escapees where the escape route started.

We went to the Military Cathedral towards the end of a church service and saw more evidence there.  There is a very long memorial chapel with more than ten thousand names inscribed – all of them POW officers captured by the Russians and then shot in retribution for their army beating the Russians in a skirmish a few years earlier. 

The names of more than 10,300 Polish POW officers are inscribed on these walls, all murdered on Stalin's orders in retribution for embarassing the Russian army in a defeat a few years earlier.

It goes on, but certainly Warsaw’s history must be one of the most bloody and horrific of any anywhere in the world.  Yet today, so much has been rebuilt as close as possible to its original state in defiance of the treatment the city suffered.  The Warsaw population, almost within our lifetime, has suffered the most ghastly persecution, desecration and bloodshed, it is hard to believe.  It certainly brought home to me in a new way the evil that men can inflict on others for no reason other than that they can – and so they do!

Our tour took us across the city and we saw where the Jewish Ghetto was, and how the Germans progressively reduced its size and hugely increased its population with no increase in food supplies so thousands starved to death.  The horror stories go on – and on and on…… and almost every time we stopped to look at a building or a plaque or memorial, further atrocities were revealed.  It certainly made me feel sick that individuals in my own species could act as they did, knowingly and wilfully, for years at a time.

We walked to a wonderful area of parkland where hundreds of people were picnicking in anticipation of an outdoor Chopin Concert to be performed an hour or so later. We didn't dally, but walked quite a long way through the park, learning about more of the history and monuments we saw along the way. We saw the former King's modest palace and the much more opulent governor's shed and eventually returned to the centre of the city.

Our two-and-a-half hour morning tour finished at about 2pm and we were released in the centre of the city to enjoy quite a sober lunch.  I tried a local specialty called Lard – and it is really slightly flavoured lard.  I ate a little, but couldn’t eat more than about a third of my serving.

We called past the supermarket for more drinks on the way back home and had a nap after all the walking we had done.  And we ate in the room again at night – with no delightful serenade from the restaurant below.

[lemon2sang]

(사진출처 : https://www.amazon.com/Piano-Shop-Left-Bank-Discovering/dp/0375758623 )

고객이 되려면 기존 고객을 찾아야 한다는 묘한 관행은 받아들이기 힘들었고, 실제로 실행에 옮기기도 힘들었다. 이제 나는 이 어수룩해 보이는 가게가 간판에서 말하는 가게, 다시 말해 피아노 부품가게 이상이라고 믿고 있었다. 젊은 남자의 음모를 꾸미는 듯한 분위기에 감염되어 내 호기심은 다른 방향으로 발전하게 되었다. 마치 나도 모르는 새에 지하마약거래에 말려든 느낌이었다. 또는 수수께끼의 인물들, 암호로 된 지침, 불확실한 보답 등이 등장하는 모호한 탐구에 나선 것 같기도 했다. (p21)

"받을 수밖에 없었어요. 친구 부탁이었거든요." 뤼크는 말을 끊더니 사과하는 듯한 말투로 덧붙였다. "사실 잘 만든 것이기는 하지만, 평범한 피아노죠." 그의 말로 볼 때 잘 만든다는 것은 피아노가 전부인 이 사람에게 전체의 한 부분에 불과함을 알 수 있었다. 그럼 다른 요소들은 무엇일까? 디자인? 재료, 마감, 평판? 무엇 때문에 어떤 피아노는 훌륭하고, 어떤 피아노는 잘 만든 것이기는 하지만 평범한 것일까? 그 답은 물리적인 속성에 달려 있는 것이 아니었다. 그 정도는 분명했다. 마치 피아노에 우리를 끌어당기는 그 나름의 기질 같은 것이 있는 듯했다. 뤼크의 태도 때문에 나는 피아노를 생전 처음 보는 사람이 된 듯한 느낌마저 들었다. (p27-28)

"네, 아주 아릅답죠. 가장 오래된 건 1837년에 만든 거예요." 뤼크는 온화와 경멸이 섞인 표정으로 피아노들을 보았다. "하지만 여기가 아니라 박물관에 있어야 할 물건들이죠. 저것들은 이 악기 역사의 한 부분이에요. 어떤 의미에서는 이미 죽은 거죠. 내가 관심을 갖는 것은 살아 있는 피아노예요." (p29)

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뤼크는 피아노를 음악이라는 예술을 올려놓고 숭배할 제단으로 여기는 사람들에게 짜증을 냈다. 그러나 이 악기를 이용하고 이것에 의존해 생계를 유지하는 진지한 음악가들에게는 깊은 존경심을 품었다. 노골적으로 말한 적은 없었지만, 그의 이야기를 듣다보면 누군가가 소유는 했지만 친 적은 거의 없는 피아노가 아주 많다는 사실을 알 수 있었다. 오늘날 텔레비전이나 전축처럼 피아노를 가족의 거처에 불가결한 물건으로 여기던 부르주아적 감수성의 흔적인 셈이었다. 뤼크는 이것을 비극으로 여기지는 않았지만, 광택은 여전한데 친 적은 거의 없는 피아노가 오면 큰 기쁨을 느꼈다. "이제 가구로 사는 게 아니라 제대로 살 수 있겠네요." 뤼크는 웃음을 머금고 그렇게 말하곤 했다. 그럴 때면 왠지 그가 고아원장 같다는 느낌이 들었다. 자신이 맡은 아이가 누군가의 집에 양자로 들어가기를 바라면서 그 아이들에게 감상과는 거리가 먼 희망을 품는 듯했다. (p37)

뤼크가 가장 경멸하는 사람은 자신의 부, 그보다 더 역겨운 것으로, 자신의 음악적 허세를 과시하려고 이 위대한 악기를 이용하는 사람이었다. 이런 피아노가 그의 공방으로 오는 일은 드물었다. 그러나 그런 상황은 자주 보는 모양이었다. 곧 알게 되었지만 그는 재능 있는 피아노 조율사로도 명성을 얻고 있었기 때문이다. "음악지식이 그 수준이라면 큰 살롱 끝에 메르세데스를 주차시켜 놓은 것 하고 뭐가 달라!" 뤼크는 욕을 퍼부었다. "오늘은 적어도 사백 제곱미터는 될 것 같은 아파트에 있는 스타인웨이 콘서트 그랜드를 조율하고 왔어요. 하지만 내 맹세하는데, 그 피아노는 몇 년 동안 한 번도 안 쳤을 거예요. 주인 말이 아침에 일어나 그걸 보기만 해도 기분이 좋대요. 그래서 마치 호로비츠라도 당장 들어와 연주할 것처럼 덮개를 열어놓은 채로 놔두고 있더군요. 차라리 스위스 은행통장이나 주식증서를 들여다보고 있지!" 그의 이런 경멸에는 일종의 서글픔이 뒤따랐다. 그것은 연주되지 못한 채 서 있어야 하는 운명을 지닌 피아노를 향한 것이었다. "훌륭한 좌담가를 독방에 가두어놓은 꼴이지 뭐예요." 뤼크는 한번은 내게 그렇게 말했다. 나는 그 이야기를 들으면서 피아노가 설사 새것처럼 유지되고 기술적으로도 정비가 이루어진다 해도, 일종의 죽음을 맞이할 수 있다는 그의 생각을 더 잘 이해하게 되었다. (p38)

뤼크는 피아노를 얻은 방식을 이야기할 때는 늘 모호한 표현을 썼다. 절대 '샀다'거나 '거래했다'거나 '경매에서 낙찰받았다'는 표현을 쓰지 않았다. 그는 피아노가 '나한테 왔다'거나 '도착했다'고 말했다. 마치 문간에 천사가 나타난 것처럼. 그렇게 하면 당연히 그가 하는 거래의 비밀이 유지되었다. 실제로 악기의 출처를 감추는 것이 그에게는 중요한 일로 보였다. 그러나 그것은 그런 표현을 쓰는 이유의 일부일 뿐이었다. 피아노의 '도착'을 언급하는 방식은 사실 그가 느끼는 감정과 일치했다. 피아노는 한동안 그와 함께 살러 온, 떠날 때까지 그가 보살펴야 할 영혼이었다. (p41)

그 자그마한 크기와 세세한 부품의 아름다운 배치를 보자 마음속에서 한 단어가 꿈틀대고 있었다. 처음에는 저항했지만, 그럼에도 밀고 들어오고 있었다. 당돌. 나는 이 피아노가 당돌해 보인다고 결론을 내렸다. 신데렐라 같은 피아노였다. 못된 윗사람들에게 들볶이다가 결국 승리를 거두는 패배자의 이미지가 머릿속을 떠다녔다. 이런 논리를 따르자 베흐슈타인은 매력 없이 오만해 보이기만 했다. 베흐슈타인은 초대를 받아 현관으로 무도장에 들어온 피아노였다. 순간적으로 나는 이 작은 피아노가 어쩐지 좋고, 따라서 내 가족에게 맞는다는 생각에 완전히 사로잡혀 있음을 깨달았다. 뤼크는 내게서 서서히 깨어나는 욕망을 이미 완벽하게 파악하고 있었던 것일까? (p45)

나는 피아노 의자에 앉으며 뤼크에게 웃음을 지었다. 신경이 바짝 곤두섰다. 홀렸다고 해도 좋았다. 갑자기 이 위대하고 비실용적인 거대한 물건이 내가 너무 오랫동안 가보지 못했던 영토로 들어가는 관문이 된 것이다. 아직 건반에 손을 대기도 전에 뭔가가 '그래, 이거야!' 하고 말했다. 물론 뤼크를 신뢰하기 때문이었다. 그러나 내가 이 피아노를 사랑하고 싶어한다는 것, 내 삶에 음악을 다시 불러 들이고 싶어한다는 것 또한 분명했다. 나는 음계를 몇 개 쳐보았다. 그러다 화음 몇 개를 이어가보았고, 마지막으로 좀더 자신감을 가지고 아르페지오를 몇 개 쳤다. 음들이 울려 퍼지면서 예상치 못했던 전율이 몸을 훑고 지나갔다. 슈팅글의 액션은 훌륭하고 깔끔했다. 그러나 건반을 움직이는 데 약간 힘이 들어갔다. 스타인웨이가 자랑하는 비단결 같은 느낌, 다른 유명한 제품의 벨벳 같은 촉감은 전혀 없었다. 그래, 이 피아노를 치는 것은 신체를 열심히 움직여야 하는 일이었다. 거의 운동선수가 필요했다. 그럼에도 그 결과 만들어진 음색은 아주 달콤하고 풍만했다. 강건함과 섬세함이 묘하고 놀랍게 결합되어 있었다. (p46)

"어떤 피아노를 살까 고민할 때 피아노에 우리 자신의 많은 부분을 투사한다는 생각이 들어서요." "아, 당연히 그렇게 되죠. 그게 피아노의 아름다움 아닌가요. 이건 벽장에 넣어둘 수 있는 플루트나 바이올린 같은 악기가 아니거든요. 우리는 피아노와 함께 살고, 피아노도 우리와 함께 살죠. 이건 덩치도 커서 무시해버릴 수가 없어요. 마치 가족의 한 사람처럼 말이에요. 따라서 딱 맞는 것이어야 해요!" (p48)

마침내 우리 둘만 있게 되었군. 마치 할리우드의 거창하고 낭만적인 장면을 흉내내는 듯했다. 그러나 사실은 그 피아노를 처음 보는 듯한 느낌이 가장 강했다. 나는 천천히, 꼼꼼히, 느긋하게 피아노를 살피는 호사에 탐닉하기 시작했다. 내 마음이 바라던 것을 얻는 과정에서 잠재적인 재난을 피해 살아남은 것이 기뻤다. 이제 나는 긴장을 풀고, 뤼크가 말한 대로, 내 인생에 도착한 피아노를 바라보았다. 내가 이 피아노를 구한 것이 아니라, 피아노가 나를 찾아온 느낌 이었다. (p57)

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나는 공방에 습관적으로 들르는 것이 어린 시절 이후 자라난 환상을 현실로 만드는 일임을 깨닫기 시작했다. 나는 어릴 때부터 피아노에 매력을 느꼈다. 첫 기억은 희미하지만 강렬하게 채색되어 있다. 현실-다른 것과는 완전히 달라 보이던 반짝거리는 커다란 가구-과 상상의 부자연스러운 결합이었다. 어떻게 해서 이 낯선 거인 앞에 앉은 사람이 그냥 손가락을 아래위로 움직이기만 해도 아름다운 소리가 나는 것일까? 피아노는 어떤 파악할 수 없는 과정에 따라 음악을 발산해내는 거대하고 놀라운 물체였다. 나는 손가락으로 이 검고 흰 띠를 누르는 것이, 심지어 주먹으로 두드리는 것조차도 엄청난 만족을 준다는 사실을 알았다. 그러면 '안에서' 어떤 일이 벌어져 이상한 소리가 나왔다. 예상치 못한 밝은 소리였다. 때로는 놀랄 정도로 큰 소리가 나오기도 했다. 어른들이 거대한 동시에 품위가 있는 하나의 기구, 유일한 기능은 소리를 내는 것뿐인 기구를 고안해 냈다는 것이 내게는 상상하기 힘든 일로 여겨졌다.파리에서 중고 피아노를 사면서 어떤 의미에서는 하나의 원을 완성한 셈이다. (p64-65)

우리 동네는 파리 좌안의 조용한 곳에 자리를 잡고 있으며, 그 분위기는 여러 면에서 파리의 다른 지역들만큼 뜨겁지 않다. 센 강은 도시를 대체로 비슷하게 북과 남으로 반반씩 나누어놓는다. 강을 따라 동에서 서로 흘러가다보면 남쪽 반은 왼쪽에 있어 좌안이라고 부른다. 도시의 이 지역은 조용한 분위기를 유지하고 있다. 상업지구보다는 주거지역의 좁은 거리, 수많은 공원, 파리 대학의 도시 캠퍼스 몇 개가 자리잡고 있다. 물론 지금은 그 많은 부분이 고급스럽게 변했고 학생들의 가난은 푸치니의 <라보엠>만큼이나 먼 이야기가 되었지만, 그래도 이 지역에서는 예술가와 장인, 기능공과 숙련 노동자들을 많이 만날 수 있다. (...) 카페나 플라타너스가 들어선 가로수 길은 파리의 다른 많은 지역과 비슷해 보인다. 하지만 이면도로와 접한 안마당들은 다른 데서는 쉽게 찾아볼 수 없는 비밀을 감추고 있다. (p71-72)

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그러나 호랑이 줄무늬 그랜드를 잃은 것을 보상하려고 짐짓 열을 내는 게 분명했다. 뤼크는 방을 둘러보았다. 업라이트와 그랜드, 당당한 피아노와 덜 알려진 상표들을 훑어보더니, 이윽고 나를 보았다. "가끔은...." 뤼크는 거의 알아챌 수 없을 만큼 어깨를 으쓱했다. "..... 그냥 크기가 맞는 걸 가질 수밖에 없어요." (p83)

"우리가 다른 사람들과 함께 나눌 수 없다면 음악이 아니란다." 펨버튼 선생님은 대답했다. 그러나 그때부터 이미 그런 정서는 마음에 들지가 않았다. 발표회날 밤에 펨버튼 선생님 제자들의 몸을 전기처럼 훑고 지나가는 일종의 통제된 히스테리는 어쩌면 그 가운데 한두 명에게는 쓸모가 있었을 것이다. 사람들 앞에서 연주하는 경험을 쌓는 셈이었을 테니까. 그러나 전문 음악가가 될 생각이 없는 우리 나머지 아이들에게는 너무 비싼 대가였다. 왜 그냥 우리 자신의 즐거움을 위해 연주하면 안 되는가? 부모는 당연히 자신의 돈이 값지게 쓰이고 있는지 알고 싶어하며, 음악가 생활을 향한 자신의 희망과 갈망이 아주 쉽게 자식에게 투사된다는 것도 답이 될 수 있을지 모른다. 물론 음악은 함께 나누는 멋진 것이 될 수도 있다. 연주회에서, 친구들과 함께, 사랑하는 사람을 위해 단둘이만. 그렇다고해서 음악을, 그리고 그 작곡가를 깊은 곳에서부터 알아가는 순수한 기쁨을 위해 혼자서 연주한다는 생각을 일종의 신성모독으로 여긴다면 어떻게 될까. (p86)

"이제 사드 카하트가 연주하는 베토벤의 초기 곡을 들어보겠습니다." 펨버튼 선생님이 말하는 소리가 들렸다. 나는 선생님이 말하는 이름과 내 이름을 간신히 연결할 수 있었다. 내 다리는 흔들흔들 친구의 부모 형제들 사이에 난 좁은 통로로 나를 실어갔다. 나는 피아노 의자에 앉았다. 묘한 현기증에 사로잡혔다. 건반을 아무렇게나 두들겨대��� 사람들이 내가 어려운 곡을 연주한 것으로 여기고 넘어 가줄까? 하지만 내가 진짜로 쳐야 할 곡은 달의 뒷면만큼이나 낯설게 느껴졌다. 곡이 어떻게 진행되더라? 나는 자문했다. 그건 둘째치고, 시작은 어떻게 하더라? 내 얼굴은 입을 딱 벌린 채 굳어 있었다. 사람들은 내가 강렬한 열망에 사로잡힌 줄로만 알았을지도 모르겠다. 손가락은 주먹으로 오그라들어 펴지지 않았다. 꼼짝도 하지못한 채로 몇 초가 지나가자 펨버튼 선생님이 옆쪽에 서 있다가 다가와서, 피아노 의자의 높이를 조절한다는 핑계로 청중에게 내 모습이 보이지 않도록 가린 다음 내 쪽으로 몸을 기울여 귀에 대고 작지만 날카로운 목소리로 말했다. "다단조로 시작하잖아." 나는 아무것도 이해하지 못하는 표정으로 펨버튼 선생님을 보았다. 펨버튼 선생님은 피아노가 제대로 조율되어 있는지 확인하듯이 손을 건반에 올려놓더니 그 화음을 살짝 쳤다. 그 음들을 듣는 순간 마법이 풀렸다. 내가 아는 곡이야! 나는 혼자 생각했다. 내 눈이 반짝거리자 펨버튼 선생님의 손이 등을 세게 두드렸다. 펨버튼 선생님이 물러나자 나는 건반이 적이라도 되는 양 공격하여, 실수 하나 없이 곡을 그대로 끝까지 연주해버렸다. 이 말은 그냥 악보에 있는 음표들을 다쳤다는 뜻이다. 하지만 어떤 해석은커녕 프레이징도 다 무시해버렸다. 아마 평소 속도의 두 배로 쳐버렸을 것이다. 끝내고 나자 유달리 까다롭기는 하지만 아무런 의미 없는 곡예를 성공적으로 수행해낸 서커스의 동물이 느꼈을 법한 감정이 몰려왔다. 이런 터무니없는 행사를 가지고 그렇게 법석을 떠는 게 너무 놀라웠기 때문에 그에 비례해 실망감도 컸다. (p88-89)

95 102

이런 단순한 움직임에서 얼마나 놀라운 결과가 생기는지. 우리의 손가락과 손과 팔이 어떤 미묘한 힘과 합쳐져 건반에 집중되면 온갖 종류의 소리로 향하는 문이 열렸다. 피아노의 비밀스러운 내부가 내 앞에 펼쳐져 있는 것을 보았기 때문에 나는 그 구조를 더 알고 싶었다. 실용적인 측면 때문이 아니라 그 미학 때문에. 나는 이 큰 기계가 어떻게 간단한 움직임을 그렇게 섬세하게 수용하여, 셀로니어스 몽크나 블라디미르 호로비츠의 발레를 추는 듯한 손에 만개한 목소리를 부여하는지 이해하고 싶었다. 뒷방에 가끔 흩어져 있는 기계조각 사이를 어슬렁거리며 이것저것 물어보고 뤼크의 대답을 듣는 과정에서 피아노가 소리를 내는 방식의 기본사항이 점차 드러나기 시작했다. (p106)

피아노의 진동하는 현은 혼자서는 약하고 울림이 없는 소리를 낸다. 따라서 현의 진동을 증폭시킬 수단을 찾아야 한다. 그 해결책은 현의 에너지를 울림판이라고 부르는 크고 얇은 나무판에 옮기는 것이다. 울림판은 표면이 진동하면서 소리를 증폭한다. 결과적으로 거대한 막이 브리지를 통해 현에 닿아 있는 셈이다. 브리지란 울림판 위에 붙어 있는 길고 가는 나무돌기로, 그 위쪽 끝이 현과 밀착하여 그 움직임을 밑의 막에 전달한다. 이 대목에서 섬세한 목공작업이 요구된다. 여기에서는 나무에 대한 감각이 핵심적인 역할을 한다. 나무가 노래를 불러 악기가 생명을 얻게 해주어야 하는 것이다. 나무의 질을 느끼는 이런 감각이 피아노 제조의 선구자들에게는 매우 중요했다. 스트라디바리나 과르네리 같은 위대한 현악기 제작자의 경우와 다를 것이 없었다. 나무는 소리에 말 그대로 몸을 떨며, 그 소리를 섬유조직을 통해 전달한다. (p110) 110

피아노를 연주할 때, 특히 큰 소리로 연주할 때는 목재 구조 전체가 현이 내는 소리와 공명하며 진동하고 울린다. 당연한 일이지만, 이때 손을 올려놓으면 피아노가 마치 생물 같다는 느낌이 든다. (p111)

따라서 피아노 제조자나 복원자는 한편으로는 능숙한 목수가 되고 또 한편으로는 구조공학자가 되어, 육중한 강철 프레임으로 보강한 목조 캐비닛에 가장 훌륭한 시계만큼이나 복잡한 기계장치를 맞추어 넣는다. 실제로 내가 만난 어떤 음악사가는 이 기계장치가 시계만큼 복잡하다고 말한 적이 있다. "한 가지 큰 차이라면 시계는 두드리지 않는다는 거죠." 이런 섬세함과 단단하므 기교와 힘의 결합 때문에 피아노가 독특한 것이며, 제조나 수리 기술을 한 사람이 다 갖추지 못하는 경우가 많은 것이다. (p114)

나는 우정이 천천히 전개되는 것을 즐겼다. 가게에서 피아노에 관해 대화를 나누는 것 이외의 부분에 대해서는 어떤 묵약 같은 게 있었다. 이야기를 하다보면 가끔 나오기는 했지만, 뤼크와 나는 서로의 사생활에 관해서는 거의 묻지 않았다. 이것은 관심 부족이라기보다는 존중으로 이해되었다. 새로운 관계에서 급하게 많은 사실을 토해내고 금세 친밀성을 기대하는 데 익숙한 미국인이라면 놀랄 수도 있는 방식이었다. 어쨌든 그 공방에서는 움직이는 속도가 달랐으며, 나는 여러 가지에 충분한 시간을 주는 법을 배우게 되었다. (p116)

나는 기억할 수 없는 옛날부터 피아노와 마주칠 때마다 피아노의 건반을 보호하는 긴 나무판인 뚜껑을 들어올렸다. 호텔 로비건, 레스토랑이건, 학교건, 극장이건 상관없었다. 그때마다 왠지 금지된 일을 하는 듯한, 아슬아슬하면서도 감질나는 느낌이 들곤 했다. 낯선 사람의 책꽃이에서 책을 꺼내 펼쳐보는 것이 내밀한 영역으로 들어가는 행동일 수 있는 것과 마찬가지다. (p117)

"치지 마!" 그들은 바 뒤나 호텔의 프런트데스크에서 소리를 지르곤 했다. "그 피아노는 여기 연주자들만 치는 거야!" 그 말은 개인적인 모욕으로 들렸다. 나 나름으로 음악의 관용이라고 생각하는 것을 무참하게 훼손하는 말이었다. 마음속에서는 나도 연주자였다. 나도 몇 년 동안 레슨을 받은 사람이었기 때문이다. 그러나 그보다 더 중요한 것으로, 나도 피아노를 무척 좋아했기 때문이다. 나는 피아노 뚜껑을 얼른 닫고 중얼중얼 사과를 했지만, 그렇게 야단을 맞았다고 해서 다음에 손을 안 댄 적은 없었다. 그것은 나 나름의 무정부주의였으며, 나는 고집 빼면 시체인 아이였다. (p119)

"새러는 피아니스트 오빠가 있다는 이야기를 한 적이 없는데. 어, 너도 나처럼 피아노를 칠 때는 혼자 있는 걸 더 좋아하는지도 모르겠구나. 방해가 되지 않도록 문을 다 닫으마." 여자는 마치 내 마음을 읽는 것 같았다. 내 마음을 바로 들여다보고, '이 소년이 원하는 것'이라는 제목 밑에 나와 있는 구체적인 지침을 읽고 그대로 따르는 것 같았다. 여자는 몸을 돌려 나가다가 돌아보더니 말했다. "그 피아노 좋지?" " 네. 좋아요." 나는 말없이 피아노 의자에 앉아 있었다. 전혀 모르는 사람이 내 가족조차 완전하게 파악하지 못하는 것을 즉시 이해했다는 사실이 놀라웠다. 차를 타러 나가는 길에 나는 여동생에게 지나가는 말처럼 두꺼운 안경을 쓴 여자가 누구냐고 물었다. "아, 킬리언 선생님 말이구나. 우리 사이에선 늙은 코카콜라 병으로 통해." 여동행은 잠깐 장님 시늉을 했다. "음악하고 합창을 가르쳐. 사실은 아주 좋은 선생님이야." "그래, 그런 것 같아." (p123-124)

세월이 흐른 뒤 내 삶에서 피아노의 중요성을 다시 발견했을 때, 나는 킬리언 선생님 같은 사람을 만나는 상상을 했다. 나에게 음악을 주입하는 것이 아니라 나의 내부로부터 음악을 끌어낼 수 있는 직관력 있는 교사. 그러나 성인으로서 연주를 즐기려면, 그런 사람을 우연히 만날 수 있을 거라고 기대하는 대신, 내가 직접 찾아 나서서 나의 요구와 기대를 분명히 밝혀야 함을 알았다. (p128)

베토벤이 청력을 잃어가면서 피아노의 캐비닛을 통해 자신이 만든 음악의 진동을 느낄 수 있도록 건반을 아주 세게 두드려댔다고 추측하는 사람들이 많다. 1818년 발군의 영국 피아노 제조업자인 브로드우드는 베토벤에게 최신기술을 모두 망라한 그랜드 피아노 한 대를 제공했다. 캐비닛과 프레임은 더 단단해졌고, 현은 3줄로 묶었으며, 액션의 반응속도도 향상되었다. 베토벤은 이 피아노 역시 격렬한 연주로 망가뜨렸지만(그 시대 사람은 "끊어진 현들이 폭풍우를 맞은 가시덤불처럼 엉켜 있었다"고 전한다). 1827년에 죽을 때까지 애착을 가졌다. 베토벤은 귀가 멀면서 그의 시대 사람들이 작곡하던 것과는 전혀 닮지 않은 음악을 상상했다. 이 시기에 나온 <함머클라비어> 소나타는 피아노의 힘과 표현력의 극한을 드러낸 것으로 지금도 강한 인상을 준다. 베토벤의 소나타 32곡 가운데 가장 긴 <함머클라비어>는 일반적으로 그의 건반곡 가운데 가장 어렵고 또 가장 멀리 내다본 곡으로 인정받는다. 기술적인 면이나 시적인 면에서 뛰어난 이 작품의 푸가 피날레는 오늘날에도 청자를 놀라게 한다. 베토벤도 이것을 예측하여 악보 출판사에 보내는 편지에서 이렇게 말했다. "이제 당신은 지금부터 50년 뒤에도 피아니스트들을 바쁘게 만들 소나타를 갖게 되었소!" 어떤 의미에서 베토벤은 아직 존재하지 않는 악기를 위해 작곡을 하고 있었다. 그러나 한 세대를 넘기지 않고 그런 악기가 탄생한다. 피아노의 발전이 절정에 이르기 때문이다. (p132-133)

쇼팽의 음악은 다른 어느 작곡가의 음악보다도 피아노의 핵심에 놓인 역설과 직접적인 관련이 있다. 다시 말해 어떻게 타악기가 노래를 부르게 하느냐 하는 것이다. 이것은 모든 진지한 피아니스트들이 직면하는 기본적인 문제다. 피아노의 기계 같은 정확성을 이용해 음의 연속적인 흐름을 만들어냄으로써 우리가 음악이라고 부르는 매혹적인 그물을 던지게 하는 방법을 찾아야 하는 것이다. 이것은 어떤 중요한 의미에서는 반직관적인 일이다. 흐름이라는 착각을 만들어내기 위해서는 일련의 음을 서로 겹치게 하고, 손가락을 교묘하게 놀리고, 페달을 이용하고, 음의 농담을 활용하는 특정한 기법을 배우고 소화해야 한다. 이 모든 것이 쇼팽의 작품을 살아나게 하는 노래하는 선율을 전개하는 데 중요하다. 쇼팽의 음악은 건반에서 태어났으며, 그가 살던 시대부터 지금까지 전 세계에서 인기를 얻고 있다. (p136)

오스카 와일드가 19세기 말에 한 말을 들어보면 상류사회에 피아노가 널리 퍼진 상황이 어떠했는지 짐작할 수 있다. "정감 있게 타자기를 치는 소리가 누이나 가까운 친척이 연주하는 피아노 소리보다 덜 짜증스럽다." (p138)

악기로서는 독특한 경우지만, 피아노는 가구이기도 했다. 이 점이 피아노를 시장에 파는 데 핵심요소였다. (p138)

피아노의 유행은 1850년대에 시작되었으며, 생산증가, 부의 팽창, 지불방식의 변화가 그 기반이 되었다. 피아노는 소비자 다수가 손에 넣을 수 있는 소수의 사치품 가운데 하나로, 할부로 구입할 수 있는 거의 첫 번째 제품이었다. 갑자기 모두가 피아노를 갖게 되었다. 생산과 매출의 증가는 극적이었다. 1850년에 전 세계에서 1년에 약 5만 대가 생산되었다. 1910년에 그 숫자는 50만 대를 넘어섰으며, 그 가운데 35만 대가 미국에서 생산되었다. 이때가 피아노의 절정기였다. 모든 품위 있는 가정만이 아니라, 모든 학교, 술집, 클럽, 교회, 기선, 카페, 서부의 도로변 여관에서도 피아노를 볼 수 있었다. 손가락의 교묘한 움직임을 커다란 소리로 능숙하게 번역해낸다는 점에서 피아노는 시대기술의 정수를 담고 있었다. 또 피아노의 성공적인 판매방식은 이후 모든 소비재 판매의 모범이 되었다. 1889년 에펠탑이 세워졌을 때 꼭대기의 작은 방으로 끌어올린 첫 번째 물건이 피아노라는 것도 우연이 아니다. 이곳에 갖추어진 작은 플레옐 업라이트는 이 미래주의적 구조물이 공학과 예술을 융합하고 있다는 사실을 상징했다.

단순성을 선호하는 경향은 20세기 초에 등장했다. 모더니즘 정신이 싹트면서, 연주회용 피아노가 순수하고, 장식이 없고, 빛나는 검은색이어야 한다는 관행, 내부의 빛나는 것을 비추는 완벽한 거울 구실을 해야 한다는 관행이 나타났다. 검정, 색깔이 아닌 색, 늘 빛과 움직임을 비추는 우아한 박이 우세한 위치를 차지하더니, 계속 표준으로 남았다. 이보다 더 엄격한 관행-거의 예외가 없다-은 흑백의 건반 색깔이다. 두 종류의 건반 사이에는 늘 이런 극명한 대조가 있었지만, 18세기에는 그것이 뒤바뀌는 일도 많았다. 다시 말해 원음이 검은색이고 사이음이 흰색인 경우도 많았다는 것이다. 현재의 배치는 19세기 초 이후에 널리 퍼졌다. 시각적인 대비는 필요하지만, 건반이 예를 들어 파랑과 노랑, 또는 빨강과 검정으로 구성되지 말아야 할 특별한 이유는 없다. 그러나 캐비닛이 정교한 예쁜 수제 피아노에서도 건반의 흑백은 건드리지 않는다. (p145-146)

전자와 금속합금, 컴퓨터 칩과 최첨단 합성수지. 이 모든 것이 피아노 디자인에 새롭게 적용되었지만 원래의 설계를 현저하게 개선한 것은 아니다. 피아노는 피아노일 따름이다. 그것은 그 바탕이 되었던 관념의 완벽한 표현물로, 문화적으로 보자면 이미 막다른 골목에 이르렀다고도 할 수 있다. 피아노는 기계를 교묘하게 이용하는 우리 문화의 한 가지 경향(타자기나 컴퓨터 자판을 생각해보라)이 온음계에 기초한 구체적인 음악관념과 결합하는 방식을 궁극적으로 표현하고 있다. 그 위대한 천재성은 단순히 기계적인 것을 음악의 영역으로 번역했다는 데 있다. (p147-148)

이제 피아노가 생기자-내가 가져본 첫 피아노였다-나는 그 책임감 때문에 어찔한 압박감을 느꼈다. 이것은 집이나 새 차를 사는 것과 같은 중요한 결정이었으며, 나는 이 일을 계기로 내 인생을 바꾸고 음악을 재발견하고 싶었다. 그러나 내가 중단했던 곳에서 다시 시작할 수 있다는 환상은 품지 않았다. 규칙적인 연습을 그만둔지 이미 20년이 지났다. 내가 과거에 바흐의 2성 인벤션이나 멘델스존의 무언가를 친 일이 있었다는 사실을 상상할 수 없을 지경이었다. 그러나 이제 슈팅겔은 완벽하게 조율되어 있었고, 그건반은 내가 옆을 지날 때마다 손짓을 했��. 처음에는 간단한 음계와 화성 진행만 쳐보았다. 말 잘 듣던 학생답게 오래전에 늘 연습하던 것의 윤곽이 희미하게나마 기억이 났기 때문이다. 아주 좋아하던 곡 가운데 몇 곡은 온전하게 기억이 났다. 슈베르트의 왈츠는 금세 생각이 났다. 다른 곡의 몇 악구도 떠올랐다. 그러나 내 속에 남아 있는 단편만 재생해낼 수밖에 없다는 사실 때문에 좌절감이 커지기 시작했다. 교사가 없으면 진전도 없다는 사실이 그 어느 때보다 분명해 보였다. (p150)

가장 중요한 것은 내가 어렸을 때 익혔던 기본적인 접근방법을 바꾸고 싶었다는 점이다. 펨버튼 선생님이 보여주었던 점잖은 압제의 형태에서 벗어나 교사와 솔직하게 대면하고 싶었던 것이다. 피아니스트의 길로 나아간다는, 아니 그 이전에 발표회를 한 번이라도 열거라는 기대 따위는 아예 없었다. 이제까지 발견되지 않았던 재능이 발견되어 꽃을 피울 거라는 희망 같은 것도 없었다. 지금의 목표는 전보다 더 분명하고, 또 개인적이었다. 내가 음악에서 발견하는 기쁨을 더 심화시키고, 세상에 대한 내 느낌을 확장할 수 있는 곡을 선택해볼 생각이었다. 그런 자유는 한껏 누릴 생각이었지만, 그럼에도 나는 또 다른 종류의 책임감을 느꼈다. 건반에서 나 자신을 표현할 수 있도록 레슨의 틀을 진지하게 받아들이겠다는 것이었다. 그러나 나는 이제 어린아이의 세계에 갇혀 있지 않았다. 내가 규율을 선택한다면, 거기에는 그럴 만한 가치가 있어야 했다. (p151)

154-5

우리는 두 작품에 실린 곡을 연습하기 시작했다. 버르토크가 먼저였다. 어떤 곡은 믿어지지 않을 정도로 쉬웠다. 그러나 안나는 더 복잡한 곡으로 나아가기 전에 먼저 쉬운 곡들의 화성구조를 이해해야 한다고 말했다. 아무리 쉬운 곡이라 해도 그 구조를 이해한다는 것은 내게는 새로운 일이었다. 내가 힘겨워하면 안나는 내 공책에 "인내심을 가져요!" 하고 적곤 했다. 그녀는 곡의 구조를 이해하지 못하고 음표만 치는 것은 공허한 일이라고 주장했다. 기술 자체를 목표로 삼는 일은 그녀의 접근방법과 거리가 멀었다. 안나는 내 귀를 틔우는 데 많은 시간을 쏟았다. 그녀는 내 귀가 매우 예민하다고 말했다. 안나는 화음을 연주하면서 선율을 노래하게 했고 그 반대로도 해보게 했다. 간단한 곡에서도 계속 미묘한 화음과 불협화음에 귀를 기울이도록 가르쳤다. 일종의 음악체조도 했다. 화성 진행을 하면서 다음 화음의 이름을 큰 소리로 말하는 것이었다. 그 속도는 더 빨라졌다. 처음에는 피가 마를 듯했지만, 묘한 전율을 느끼게 되었다. 전처럼 흐름을 손으로만 아는 것이 아니라, 정신이 포착할 수 있는 개념으로 알게 되었기 때문이다. 물론 피아노는 그 개념에 목소리를 부여하고 있었다. (p156)

나는 안나에게 처음 레슨을 받을 때부터 예기치 못했던 만족감과 일종의 쾌락을 경험했다. 맨 처음에 연습한 몇 곡의 아주 단순한 음형변화-전조, 예상치 못한 화음-에서도 큰 기쁨을 느낄 수 있었다. 비록 쉬운 것이기는 했지만 내 귀와 정신으로 곡의 의도를 파악했기 때문에 가능한 일이었다. 이것은 내게는 새로운 경험이었다-단순히 손가락으로 건반을 두드리는 것이 아니라, 더 싶은 수준의 이해, 그와 더불어 더 깊은 수준의 아름다움에 이르는 것. (p156-157)

나는 스스로 분명한 목표를 설정하지는 않았다. 처음에는 이것이 잘못이라고 생각했다. 예를 들어 언젠가 베토벤의 소나타를 치겠다든가, <골드베르크 변주곡>을 칠 때까지 해보겠다든가 하는 생각을 하지 않았던 것이다. 그러나 개별적인 곡에 도전하여 거기에서 뭔가 새로운 걸 배우는 것으로 충분했다. 뭔가를 이룬다는 것은 초점을 빗나간 문제였다. 이것이 어렸을 때와 다른 점이었다. (p158)

어느 날 베흐슈타인의 악보대에 올려놓았던 악보를 챙기는데 안나가 음악에 다가가는 데 도움이 될 만한 작은 선물이 있다고 말했다. 그녀는 <선과 궁술>을 꺼내더니 내게 내밀었다. "이제 좀 아시게 된 것 같지만, 중요한 건 태도예요." 나는 그날 저녁 흥분하여 그 책을 읽으면서, 간접적인 방식으로나마 안나의 가르침 몇 가지를 파악할 수 있었다. 그 책은 단순히 신체적인 것에 뿌리를 두고 있는 듯이 보이는 부담스러운 동작-이 경 우에는 궁술-을 익히는 문제의 핵심에 명상을 집어넣었다. 이 책은 집중을 강조했으며, 배우는 과정 자체가 중요하다고 보았다. 모든 새로운 기술은 아무리 사소한 것이라 해도 그 나름으로 깨달음과 만족을 준다. 당면한 과제를 수행하는 데 정신적 규율은 심미적인 쾌락만큼이나 중요하다. 제자는 스승을 존경하고, 엄격하게 위계적인 관계를 받아들여야 한다. 특히 자신의 기술을 표현하기 위해서는 방심하지 않으면서도 초연한 상태를 유지하도록 훈련해야 한다. "긴장을 푼다는 생각 같은 것은 하지 마라!" 스승은 제자에게 외친다. "긴장을 느끼는 것은 네가 진정으로 거리를 두지 않았기 때문이다. 그러나 모든 것은 아주 단순하다!" (p159)

안나가 음악을 대하는 방식에는 이런 태도가 체현되어 있었다. 안나는 의욕을 자극하면서도 현실적인 태도로 내적인 집중력을 이용 해 우리가 아름다움이라고 부르는 것의 한 부분을 체득하는 방법을 가르쳤다. "브람스나 슈베르트 같은 작곡가의 작품을 보고 그것이 왜 걸작인지 알아야만 해요. 그래야 그 걸작 가운데 작은 부분이라도 우리 솜씨로 해석할 기회가 생길 때 감사할 수 있죠. 이것은 인생을 바라보는 방식이기도 해요, 안 그래요? 완벽 같은 것은 없어요." (p160)

163, 4 168 172

길을 건너자 열린 창문으로 그랜드 피아노에 앉은 젊은 여자의 옆 모습이 보였다. 여자는 33개 변주곡의 중반을 넘어섰으며, 내 눈에는 보이지 않는 사람의 팔이 주기적으로 악보대로 올라가 악보를 넘겼다. 여자의 연주는 기술적으로 뛰어났으며, 다양한 악절에 투영해 내는 음색의 깊이는 숨을 앗아갈 듯했다. 나는 흥분해서 지나가던 사람이라도 붙잡고 한번 들어보라고 말하고 싶었다. "이봐요, 이것 좀 들어보세요! 이건 엄청난 베토벤 연주입니다!" 그러나 나 혼자만 조용히 귀를 기울이고 있을 뿐, 사람들은 급한 걸음으로 지나갔고, 자동차들은 서고 가기를 반복했다. 파리 사람들이 조롱하듯 항공모함이라고 부르는 커다란 유람선이 근처의 마리 다리 밑을 시끄럽게 지나갔다. 유람선에 달린 클리그 등 때문에 나무와 건물이 판지로 만든 영화세트처럼 바뀌었다. 강렬한 빛이 희미해지자 눈에 보이지 않던 악보 담당자가 창문으로 걸어 왔다. 밝은 빨간색 스웨터를 입은 나이 든 여자였다. 여자는 경첩이 달린 창문을 밀어 닫더니 걸쇠까지 단단히 걸고, 도시가 침입하지 못하도록 커튼까지 드리웠다. '이런!' 나는 속으로 소리쳤다. 음악은 계속되었지만 이제는 멀리서 딸랑거리는 소리일 뿐이었다. 밖에 있는 사람은 아무런 시정이나 활기를 느낄 수 없었다. 창문을 닫기까지 그 훌륭한 변주곡을 다섯, 아니, 어쩌면 여섯 곡쯤 들은 듯했는데, 그것으로 만족해야 할 성싶었다. 이런 계시와 같은 사건은 드물었다. 나는 미리 계획할 수 없는 이런 특별한 기쁨을 고맙게 생각했다. 파리는 가끔 행인에게 이런 식으로 자신의 속에 감춘 풍요로운 지층을 하나 드러내 보이곤 했다. (p173)

나는 밖에서 흘러드는 이웃의 음악을 들으며 일을 하는 데 익숙해졌다. 그러나 정말 특별한 것- 예를 들어 베를리오즈의 솔로-이 들릴 때는 들려오는 소리 쪽으로 완전히 관심을 돌렸다. 가끔 그런식으로 하던 일이 중단되었지만, 그것은 자발적인 중단이었기 때문에 더욱더 달콤했다. 계시처럼 나타나는 작은 음악을 듣는 기쁨에 치러야 하는 얼마 안 되는 대가일 뿐이었다. 가끔 비 오는 날이면 창문이 평소처럼 자주 열리지 않기 때문에 그동안 희미하게 자리잡고 있던 것이 사라졌음을 깨닫게 되었다. 그동안 나도 모르는 사이에 각각의 음악 뒤에 놓인 영감을 은밀히 공유해왔던 것이다. 소리로 이루어진 이 간접적인 세계는 나에게 매우 현실적인 것이 되었다. 이 보지도 못한 음악가들 한 사람 한 사람을 다 안다는 느낌이 들었다. 우리에게는 나만이 아는 유대가 있었다. 그러다가 그드링 습기를 피해 창문을 닫자 내가 누릴 자격이 있는 어떤 것을 거두어들였다는 느낌이 들었던 것이다. (p176-177)

장 폴은 자신의 귀의 특이한 민감성에 가장 좋은 해독제는 노래라고 말했다. 피아노는 모든 음 사이에 아주 분명한 음정이 있는 특정한 소리로만 이루어져 있지만, 노래는 무한히 다양하게 음이 변하여 하나의 높이에서 다른 높이로 갑자기 바뀌지 않기 때문이다. 장 폴은 피아노가 특정한 88개 음 높이로만 제한되어 있는 것이 매우 괴로운 일이라고 말했다. 인간의 목소리나 현악기는 이와 달리 무한한 변화가 가능하다. "결국 나는 두 가지 다 필요하다는 사실을 알게 되었습니다. 피아노는 분명하고, 정확하고, 완벽하죠. 좁은 의미에서 말입니다. 하지만 노래는 꿈을 꾸게 해줍니다." (p182)

"나중에야 반주자가 된 덕분에 노래의 세계로 들어가 피아노의 압제에서 어느 정도 벗어날 수 있었다는 사실을 깨달았습니다. 물론 우리 모두 피아노가 노래를 하게 하려고 노력하지요. 하지만 그건 지는 싸움입니다. 피아노를 어떻게 보든, 어차피 타악기를 치는 것과 다름없으니까요. 하지만 목소리는 무한히 유연하지요. 나는 실제로 피아노를 칠 때와 노래를 할 때 뇌가 각각 다른 영역에 집중한다고 믿습니다." 장 폴은 모든 진지한 피아니스트가 직면하는 기본적인 문제를 묘사하고 있는 셈이었다. 피아노의 지나치게 정확한 음을 넘어서서 멜로디라는 시를 불러내는 것. 다른 대부분의 악기와는 달리 피아노의 주어진 소리는 직접 그 높이를 바꾸는 게 불가능하다. 바이올리니스트, 트럼펫 연주자, 플루티스트는 모두 자기 악기의 높이를 반음, 4분의 1음, 8분의 1음씩 밀어 올릴 수 있다. 그 가능성은 무한하다. 그러나 피아니스트는 건반을 누를 때 나오는 소리의 정확함에 속박되어 있다. 조금이라도 그것을 올리거나 내릴 수 없다. 그냥 그대로다. 정신이 피아노의 구분된 음들로부터 하나의 연속체를 구축하여 음악이 흐르는 듯한 착각을 만들려면 특정한 기법들을 배우고 익혀야 한다. 그 기법 가운데 가장 중요한 것은 레가토인데, 이것은 문자 그대로는 '함께 묶여 있다'는 뜻으로 앞에 누른 건반을 놓기 전에 다른 건반을 눌러 소리가 겹쳐서 연결되어 들리게 하는 기술이다. "여기에서는 멜로디가 빗방울이 아니라 하나의 강이야!" 펨버튼 선생님은 내가 레가토 프레이징을 익히려고 안간힘을 쓸 때 그렇게 말하곤 했다. (p183-184)

대중에게 반주자는 거의 보이지도 않는다. 그러나 실제로는 음악적으로나 지적으로 적어도 공연의 반은 책임을 진다. "내가 확실히 할 수 있는 이야기는, 제대로 될 때는 반주자나 성악가나 다양한 요소를 의식하지 않는다는 겁니다. 기대와 소통이 융합되는 훌륭한 대화와 마찬가지지요. 마치 함께 숨을 쉬는 것과 같습니다. 음악이 숨이지요." (p185)

조율은 엄청나게 어려운 일이다. 기본적인 사항을 생각해보자. 피아노에는 현이 200개 이상 있다. 그 각각을 특정한 음 높이로 조율해야 한다. 각각의 높이는 또 다른 현과 관련을 맺어야 한다. 그래야 저음역부터 고음역에 이르기까지 전 범위의 음에서 규칙적인 음정이 나올 수 있다. 어떤 의미에서 이것은 순수한 물리학적 문제다. 뤼크의 표현을 빌리면 기계적인 것이다. 진동하는 현의 규칙성은 현의 모든 물리적 속성을 알면 예측이 가능하기 때문이다(그러나 현실세계에서는 그것을 다 안다는 것이 어디까지나 가정에 불과하다). 모두 출발점은 똑같다. 중앙의 C 위의 A는 거의 언제나 초당 440헤르츠-하나의 현이 특정한 음을 내기 위해 진동하는 횟수다-에 맞추어져 있다. 그러나 이것이 단순하지 않은 이유는 모든 옥타브와 5도를 완벽한 간격으로 유지하면서 피아노를 조율하는 게 불가능하기 때문이다. 5도를 완벽하게 맞춘다면 건반 전체를 가로질러 5도로 진행할 경우 뒤에 가서는 같은 음이라 하더라도 출발점의 음보다 상당히 높아진다. 피아노는 현의 고정된 음 높이에 묶여 있기 때문에, 조율사는 조율을 할 때 이런 물리적 원칙을 고려해야 한다. (p191-192)

초기 건반음악에서 작곡가들은 주요 음정이 정확하게 들리는 한정된 숫자의 조를 활용했다. 다른 조들은 피했다. 그런 경우에는 주요 음정에 내재하는 불협화가 더 쉽게 나타났기 때문이다. 그러나 서양음악이 복잡하게 진화하면서 작곡가들은 조를 자유롭게 바꾸고 건반의 반음계를 활용할 필요를 느끼게 되었다. 그러자 그런 한계가 근본적인 문제로 등장했다. 그러나 한계를 극복할 방법은 마땅치 않았다. 해결책은 음정 일부를 '조율', 다시 말해 약간 왜곡하여, 일부는 협화음이지만 일부는 약간 불협화음으로 들리게, 그러나 어떤 조에서도 너무 불협화음으로 들리지는 않게 하는 것이었다. (p192)

요한 세바스찬 바흐는 건반악기의 전 음역을 조율할 필요가 있다고 처음 주장한 사람은 아니지만, 좀더 균형 잡힌 조율을 가장 열렬히 옹호했던 사람으로 꼽힌다. 프렐루드와 푸가로 이루어진 종합 작품집인 『평균율 클라비어곡집』은 그 자체로 걸작이면서 동시에 전체적으로 조율이 이루어진 건반악기로 다양한 스타일, 조, 음역을 연주하는 음악 가운데 초기의 가장 유명한 예로도 잘 알려져 있다. 결국 조율사들은 옥타브를 12개의 똑같은 반음으로 나누어, 음향적 불일치를 그들 각각에게 똑같이 분배하는 방법을 개발하게 되었다. 이러한 이른바 '등분 조율'이 현재 조율의 표준이 되어 있다. 이렇게 약간의 왜곡을 할 필요와 더불어 다른 고려사항도 있다. 사람의 귀는 높은 음을 실제 주파수보다 약간 낮게 듣는다. 이 점까지 생각하면 조율사가 연장을 집어들 때 얼마나 복��한 과정을 앞에 두고 있는지 짐작이 갈 것이다. 어쨌든 이런 점 때문에 피아노는 음정이 건반 전체에 걸쳐 균일한 것이 아니라 위쪽 음역으로 가면서 점차 넓어지도록 조율되어야 한다. 결국 이 모든 것이 의미하는 바는 조율이 항상 근사치라는 것이다. 조율은 두 가지 개념, 기계적으로 정확한 것과 음악적으로 매력적인 것, 경험적인 것과 직관적인 것을 조화시키려는 시도다. 조율사가 이루려는 것은 무엇보다도 균형이다. 이론적인 음의 거슬리는 소리와 귀가 듣는 데 익숙한 기분 좋은 소리 사이의 평균이다. (p193)

복잡하고 불규칙한 상황에서 오는 기술적인 까다로움은 여기에서 끝나는 것이 아니다. 현을 묶은 장력이 서로 다른 두 대의 피아노-제조업자마다 현을 프레임에 연결하는 방식도 보통은 약간씩 다르다-를 똑같은 방식으로 조율할 수 없기 때문에 문제는 더 복잡해진다. 개별적인 피아노의 다른 여러 가지 고유한 특성도 고려해야 한다. 예를 들어 현이 상대적으로 뻣뻣하면 특정한 화음구조가 약간 달라지며, 조율을 할 때는 이 점도 고려해야 한다. 어쩌면 가장 중요한 것인지도 모르지만, 늘 인간적인 영역이라는 것이 있다. 피아노가 아이들이 쾅쾅 두드려대고 부모는 가끔 연주하는 튼튼한 업라이트인가? 아니면 주요한 공적 연주회를 위해 준비해놓은 콘서트 그랜드인가? 고객이 정기적으로 피아노 조율을 하는 사람인가, 아니면 가끔 뒤늦게 조율을 하는 사람인가? 이런 점들을 비롯하여 헤아릴 수 없이 많은 다른 변수들이 방정식에 들어와 좋은 조율사가 훌륭한 조율이라는 평형상태를 이루는 방식을 결정한다. 피아노가 평소에 쓰이는 방식을 고려하여 얼마나 오래 조율상태를 유지할 것인가 하는 점도 이 방정식의 일부다. 이런 다양한 방식에 대한 뤼크의 설명은 역시 그의 말답게 포괄적이며 단정적이지 않다. "피아노를 조율하는 것은 요리와 비슷하지요. 저마다 자신의 요리법이 있거든요." (p193-194)

195-6 197

모든 음의 높이를 맞추는 것은 전체적인 조율의 첫 단계일 뿐이다. 피아노에 독특한 음색, 그 성격을 부여하는 것은 조음이라는 섬세한 기술이다. 조음은 피아노에 목소리를 부여하는 기술이다. 무엇이 듣기 좋은 목소리냐 하는 것은 피아노의 전 음역에 걸쳐 음 높이가 정확한가 하는 문제보다 훨씬 더 주관적이다. 목소리는 환경에 따라서 변한다. 가정용으로 조음된 피아노는 콘서트홀의 무대에서는 엉뚱한 소리가 나온다. 따라서 균형을 정확하게 잡으려면 기술자의 솜씨와 경험의 무게가 더욱더 요구된다. 어떤 조율사는 내게 이렇게 말한 적이 있다. "우리 모두 조음을 위한 우리 나름의 요령을 갖고 있지요. 그걸 보여주는 건 벌거벗는 것과 마찬가지입니다. 나는 조음을 할 때는 누가 옆에 있는 걸 좋아하지 않아요. 특히 동료들은요." (p198)

나는 뤼크에게 좋은 조율사가 되려면 무엇이 필요하냐고 물었다. 속으로는 그가 특별한 조율사와 평범한 조율사를 가르는 까다로운 기술과 놀라운 방법의 목록을 나열할 거라고 예상했다. 그러다가 그의 답을 듣고 놀랐는데, 돌이켜보면 사실 그렇게 놀랄 일은 아니었다. 그의 답이 이론과 실천의 많은 부분을 관통해 조율세계의 핵심까지 파고들었기 때문이다. "훌륭한 조율사는 고객이 곧바로 다시 부를 필요가 없는 사람이죠." (p199)

201

내가 놀란 눈으로 그가 손에 쥔 나뭇조각을 바라보자 그는 웃음을 참지 못했다. 한쪽 끝에 규칙적으로 배치되어 있는 구멍은 그것이 피아노의 조율이 고정되었던 육중한 나무의 일부임을 보여주었다. "내가 식인종이나 ���는 것처럼 보지 마세요. 나는 그저 얼어 죽지 않으려는 것뿐이에요. 그리고 세상을 죽은 피아노로부터 구하려는 것이기도 하고요." 피아노에 일종의 생명을 부여하는 이 사람도 죽음이라는 것을 생각했다. 최종적이고, 돌이킬 수 없고, 확실한 죽음이었다. 도저히 수리할 수 없는 피아노가 생기는 일은 그가 원하는 것 이상으로 자주 일어났다. 그런 피아노는 거의 언제나 좋은 피아노와 한 묶음으로 왔으며, 뤼크는 그 전체를 받아들일 수밖에 없었다. 뤼크는 어떻게해도 다시 연주가 가능하도록 만들 수 없는 피아노일 경우 해체해서 쓸모 있는 부품은 챙겨두고 나머지는 땔감으로 만들어 난로 옆에 단정하게 쌓아두었다. 그 자리에 있는 사람들은 모두 수리할 수 없는 피아노를 태우는 뤼크의 관행을 알고 있는 듯했다. 뤼크는 그것을 땔감이라고 불렀다. 뤼크는 엄청난 파이프 시설이 천창으로 뻗어 올라가는, 괴상해 보이는 난로로 걸어갔다. 그는 차가운 금속뚜껑에 손을 올리더니 사람들을 돌아보며 짐짓 엄숙한 표정으로 말했다. "나중에 내 몸도 이렇게 해주었으면 좋겠습니다. 다른 사람들을 위한 공간을 남겨주어야 하니까요." (p211-212)

"미안해요." 여���인은 흐느끼며 말했다. "남편이 나를 위해 그 곡을 연주하곤 했거든요." 음악과 기억. 이 둘이 결합되었을 때보다 가슴을 강하게 누르는 것이 또 어디 있을까? 따라서 이 거추장스러운 소유물을 어쩔 수 없이 버리게 되었다 해도, 사랑하던 피아노, 친구나 가족과 연결되어 있던 피아노와 헤어지는 것은 당연히 어려운 일이다. 파리와 뉴욕의 피아노상 몇 명도 비슷하게 달콤쌉싸름한 이야기를 해주었다. 늘 특정한 제조사, 모델, 도장의 중고 피아노를 찾는 고객이 있다는 것이다. 돈은 문제가 아니었다. 피난민, 이민자, 전쟁의 피해자- 이들은 온 세상을 빼앗긴 사람들이다. 종종 그 세상에 살던 사랑하는 사람마저 빼앗긴 경우가 많다. 이런 사람들은 물질적 환경이 나아졌을 때 본능적으로 자신의 집의 중심을 차지했던 피아노와 똑같은 것을 찾으려 한다. 그러나 일이 그들의 뜻대로 풀리는 경우는 드물다. (p216)

"피아노는 아주 사적인 거죠." 그 피아노상은 내게 말했다. "사람들이 실제로 기억하는 것, 예를 들어 깔깔한 음색이라든가, 고음부의 가벼움이라든가, 약간 달라붙은 페달 같은 것은 우주에서 오직 단 한 대의 피아노만 갖고 있는 특징이죠. 또 전문적인 복원작업을 거치면 다 고쳐지는 특징이기도 하고요." 우리는 피아노에 꿈을 투자한다. 지나가다 내키면 건드려본다. 그 위에 가장 좋아하는 사진이나 귀중한 물건을 올려놓아 집안의 성전으로 꾸며놓는다. 이런 피아노가 우리 삶에서 사라지면 그것은 사실 대체할 수가 없다. 거기 포함되어 있는 우리 삶의 흐름의 한 부분을 돌이킬 수가 없다는 것이다. 시간은 흐르고, 피아노는 우리와 마찬가지로 닳거나, 자주 있는 일은 아니지만 운명의 소용돌이에 휩쓸려 파괴당한다. 우리는 다시 시작할 수도 있고, 새로 좋은 악기를 들이면 음악의 영역으로 통하는 문이 다시 열릴 수도 있다. 그러나 이것, 이 나무와 금속으로 만든 커다란 덩어리가 발휘하는 특별한 연상의 힘은 그 개별적인 피아노 한 대만 갖고 있는 것이다. (p217)

나는 이 장소가 뤼크의 공방만큼이나 그 나름으로 은밀하다고 생각했다. 이곳은 과거에 빠져 헤매는 일 없이 과거를 끌어안고 있는 듯 보였다. 오래되기는 했지만 전혀 답답하지 않았다. 나는 한 친구가 이곳의 '안쓰러운 건물'을 가리키며 먼지투성이라고 말했다는 사실을 떠올렸다. 나는 이곳이 결코 안쓰럽다고 생각하지 않았다. 쇠락하기는 했지만, 낡은 저택에서 예상할 수 있는 초라하면서도 고상한 면모를 보여주고 있었다. 그 겉모습을 볼 때 있는 돈은 다 음악 교육에 써온 것 같았다. 여러 연령층의 학생들이 악기를 들고 음악에 관해 재잘거리면서 서둘러 층계를 오르내리자 아연 건물에 활력이 가득 찼다. 벤저민 프랭클린이 정원에서 올려다보았거나 물결 형태의 유리창을 통해 내려다보았다면, 자신이 알았던 세계보다 훨씬 빨리 돌아가는 지금 세계의 소음과 속도로부터 물러나 앉은 이 고립된 장소를 보고 크게 실망하지는 않았을 것이다. (p227)

학교 어디를 가나 발견되는 피아노도 마찬가지였다. 피아노가 매우 다양한 것은 불가피한 일이었지만, 드니 씨는 그것을 장점으로 바꾸려고 노력했다. 어떤 학교에는 스타인웨이나 야마하 한 가지 피아노밖에 없지만, 스콜라 칸토룸에는 그것이 불가능했다. "피아니스트는 보통 바이올리니스트나 플루티스트와는 달리 자기 악기를 연주하지 않습니다. 따라서 피아니스트가 되고 피아니스트로 살아 가는 데는 적응이 불가피한 요소지요." 설사 어떤 면에서는 현재 세상에서 가장 훌륭한 악기라고 할 수 없을지라도 플레옐의 액션이나 쉼멜의 음색을 느껴보는 것은 피아니스트가 듣고 연주하는 방법을 배우는 데 큰 도움이 된다. 이것은 적어도 기법 그 자체를 발전시키는 것만큼 중요하다. 건반으로 음악을 해석한다는 개념 자체와 관련이 되기 때문이다. (p230)

261-2 267

나이가 들어 피아노 세계에 다시 입문하게 되자 자기 규율의 관행에 관해 서서히 여러 가지 깨달음을 얻게 되었다. 이것은 이 분야에서 인정받는 두 거장의 방법을 눈으로 보면서 더욱더 분명해졌다. 안나에게 레슨을 받는 처음 몇 달 동안 나는 선생을 얻었다는 소박한 기쁨을 다시 발견했다. 이 세상에는 건반을 진정으로 독학하는 사람들이 있기는 했지만, 그런 사람은 드물었으며, 무엇보다도 내가 그런 사람이 아니라는 사실은 분명했다. 작곡과 즉흥연주를 제외하면 음악을 연주한다는 것은 주어진 구조물-악보-과 그 해석에서 드러나는 자신의 창조성을 묘하게 섞는 것이다. 모든 음표를 연주할 수 있다는 것은 그 시작일 뿐이다. 진짜 연주는 작곡가의 의도에 자신의 자아를 투명하게 보태는 것이다. 따라서 나이가 들어 이런 분야로 돌아간다는 것은 매우 겸손해지는 경험일 뿐 아니라 묘하게 흥분을 자아내는 경험이기도 했다. 음악이 무한히 완벽을 향해 날아가도록 밀어주는 일은 오직 선생만이 해줄 수 있다. (p268-269)

271

"음악학교에서는 틀린 음을 치지 않게 하려고 준비를 너무 강조하지요. 하지만 얄궂게도 준비를 하면 긴장을 하게 되어 잘못 치는 일이 더 많아집니다. 물론 자연스러운 동작이 더 큰 모험이기는 하지요." 페터도 인정했다. "그러나 인생은 모험이고, 음악도 인생의 한 부분이기 때문에 음악 역시 모험이어야 합니다!" (p272)

"똑같다고? 똑같다고? 이게 비디오 기계처럼 빨리 감기를 해버리면 되는 거라고 생각하나요? 그라나도스가 반복을 하라고 했으면 그럴 만한 이유가 있을 겁니다. 음악적으로 의미가 있는 이유 말이에요. 반복부는 결코 '똑같은 게' 아니에요. 어디, 악보를 좀 볼까요?" (p276)

"아무도 음을 틀리게 치지 않는 마법의 피아노가 있다면 나도 좀 봤으면 좋겠군요! 사실 모든 음을 정확하게 치는 게 핵심이 아니에요- 중요한 건 음악을 어떻게 표현하느냐 하는 거예요. 사람 대신 그런 일을 해줄 피아노를 찾아주세요. 그럼 나도 마법을 믿을 테니까." (p276)

277 283 284 284-5 286

이 특별한 순간은 두 피아니스트, 곧 선생과 학생을 다른 누구도 갈 수 없는 곳으로 데려간다. 프랑스 사람들은 이런 공유, 이런 마음의 만남을 공모Complicité라고 부른다. 이 말은 음악의 변경을 함께 탐험하는 두 피아니스트에게 즉시 생겨나는 특별한 유대를 완벽하게 표착한다. 실내악을 대화, 끊임없이 주고받고 목소리들이 합쳐졌다 갈라지는 대화에 비유할 수 있다면, 이것은 완전한 동시성이라고 말할 수 있었다. 댄서 둘이 같은 동작을 동시에 보여주는 것과 같았다. 어떤 놀라운 화학작용에 힘입어 두 피아니스트 사이에 완벽한 일칙가 이루어진 것이다. (p286-287)

287-8 291 309

파지올리는 건반뚜껑을 열더니 나더러 건반 앞에 앉으라고 손짓했다. "뭐든지 쳐보십시오. 그저 건반을 느끼고 음색을 들어보라는 뜻이니까요." 순간 그가 조금 전에 한 말이 기억났다. 아무리 재능 있는 연주자라 하더라도 건반을 살피는 눈만 보면 그가 피아노에 어떻게 접근할지 알 수 있다던 이야기 말이다. 그의 말이 옳다면 그는 이미 내가 얼마나 긴장하고 망설이는지 파악했을 것이다. 사실 나는 두 가지 극단적으로 모순되는 충동 때문에 갈등을 느끼고 있었다. 달아나고 싶기도 했고 치고 싶기도 했던 것이다. (p313-314)

315-6

사무실로 돌아왔을 때 나는 무엇이 피아노에서 가장 중요하냐고 물었다. 파지올리는 망설임 없이 대답했다. "연주할 때 나는 소리죠. 아주 간단한 겁니다. 다른 모든 것은 그 이상에 봉사하는 거지요. 따라서 피아노를 만들기 전에 어떤 소리를 내고 싶은지 아는 게 중요합니다." 파지올리는 찬란하고, 명료하고, 일관된 소리를 원했다. 큰 음량에서도 왜곡 없이 유지될 수 있는 소리여야 했다. 공학적 관점에서 보자면 우리가 듣는 소리는 바탕음과 더 높은 주파수에서 공명하는 모든 배음의 조합이다. 그 균형을 올바르게 잡는 것이 피아노 제작기술의 핵심이다. 어떤 음을 치면 우리 모두 기본음의 몇 배 높은 배음을 듣는다. 이것은 기본음보다 더 작게 울린다. 일반적으로 우리는 이 미묘한 음들을 의식하지 않지만, 이 음들이야말로 피아노에 특징적인 소리를 부여하는 중요한 구성요소다. 나는 파지올리에게 그 많은 배음을 들을 수 있느냐고 물었다. 그는 오랜 세월 소리를 들으면서 다른 사람들은 듣지 못하는 것을 듣도록 귀를 훈련시켜왔다고 대답했다. 그가 하는 일의 많은 부분은 그 균형을 올바르게 잡는 것이었다. 나는 그가 왜 다른 사람들이 반드시 느끼는 것도 아닌 차이를 만들어내려고 노력하는 것인지 궁금했다. "그렇게 하는 게 올바르기 때문이지요. 하지만 원칙과는 별도로, 피아노가 내는 음질을 놓고 판단을 내릴 때는 우리가 의식적으로 듣지 못하는 아주 많은 소리를 고려해야 합니다. 그런 소리들이 파지올리가 파지올리처럼 들리게 하는 중요한 부분이기 때���이지요. 위대한 와인의 모든 미묘한 맛을 다 맛볼 수 있는 와인 전문가를 생각하시면 됩니다. 우리 같은 사람들이야 뭐 훌륭한 와인을 평가하려고 그 모든 것을 알 필요까지야 없겠지만요. 하지만 와인을 만드는 사람은 자기 기술을 완성하기 위해 그렇게 하지요." (p318-319)

나는 평소와 다름없이 실력이 시원치 않다는 둥 핑계를 댔다. "아, 베토벤이나 쇼팽은 잊어버려요." 뤼크가 말했다. "그냥 음계나 몇 개 쳐보세요. 중요한 건 액션을 느끼고 소리를 들어보는 거예요." 그 말을 듣자 안심이 되었다. 나는 내가 무엇을 치든 심판하지도 않고 내쫓지도 않을 친구들 사이에 있다는 사실을 깨달았다. 플레옐이 갑자기 고요한 바다의 섬이 되었다. (p329)

330

노인은 도메니코 스카를라티의 소나타를 연주했다. 내가 녹음으로 들어 아는 곡이었다. 테크닉에 관한 생각은 떠오르지도 않았다. 워낙 자신만만하고, 또 워낙 흠이 없는 것처럼 들렸기 때문에, 테크닉은 사라지고 음악만 앞으로 나왔다. 마틸드, 뤼크, 나 모두 피아노 캐비닛에 몸을 기대고 있었다. 덮개가 없었기 때문에 우리는 해머가 현을 두드리는 모든 동작을 볼 수 있었다. 나무를 통해 깊은 울림이 퍼져나와 우리 몸으로 들어왔다. (p333)

노인은 연주를 하자 사람이 완전히 바뀌었다. 머뭇머뭇 걸음을 내딛던 구부정한 몸이 정력적인 운동선수의 몸으로 바뀌어, 무한히 긴박한 느낌으로 건반을 두드렸다. 그는 피아노에 앉아 있는 것이 아니었다. 피아노와 구분이 되지 않았다. 그의 손과 발은 강력하면서도 복잡한 힘으로 건반과 페달을 두드리고 쳐댔다. 피아노도 변했다. 이제 섬세한 선은 사라졌다. 입을 다문 물체에서 느껴지는 묘하게 예의바른 느낌도 사라졌다. 지금 하는 일이 이 피아노가 하려던 일이었다. 템포는 무척 빨랐다. 프레스토였던 것 같다. 그러나 그의 터치는 자신만만하고 규칙적이었다. 광기로 치닫지도, 처지지도 않았다. 특히 반복부에서 음색, 음량, 음질을 대비시켜, 똑같은 악절이 완전히 새롭게 들리게 했다. 돈꾸밈음은 예상치 못했지만 느닷없지는 않았다. 아주 높은 곳에서 크고 아름다운 잎이 땅으로 천천히 떨어지는 광경을 지켜보는 듯했다. 그 목적지가 어디인지는 분명했지만, 갑작스러운 변화들 때문에 하강의 춤처럼 느껴졌다. 그는 음악이라는 무한히 섬세하고, 재치 있고, 집요한 대화의 일부가 되었다. 음악은 시작할 때처럼 갑자기 끝이났다. 그는 마지막 화음을 누른 채 오랫동안 꼼짝도 하지 않았다. 우리는 그 화음이 공방의 빛이 가득한 냉기 속으로 피어오르는 것을 느꼈다. 아니, 보았다. (p334)

우리가 느낀 기쁨은 자연발생적인 것이었다. 마틸드는 심지어 장갑을 낀 손으로 박수를 치기도 했다. 피아니스트는 다시 피아노를 돌아보더니 횡재를 한 뤼크를 축하했다. 나는 그것이 그 나름의 겸손의 표현임을 깨달았다. 관심을 자신의 연주에서 다른 데로 돌리려는 것이었다. 나는 그와 그 소나타 이야기를 하고 싶었다. 그에게 감사하고 싶었다. 더 연주해주기를 바랐다. 그러나 마침내 나는 가장 진실한 경의는 그가 인도하는 대로 악기 이야기를 하는 것임을 깨달았다. 그는 우리가 안다는 것을 알았다. 따라서 나머지는 소음일 뿐이었다. (p335)

336

그 무렵 어느 날 오후에 혼자 집에 있게 되었다. 나는 그 조용한 시간을 이용해 슈팅글을 쳤다. 모든 것이 잘 풀리는 그런 시간이었다. 내 두 손은 건반 위에서 독자적인 동력을 가진 듯 움직였다. 소리는 내가 예상했던 것보다 더 순수했다. 지난 한 달 동안 규칙적으로 연습을 할 수 있었다. 그 주에 받았던 레슨은 까다로웠지만 만족스러웠다. 내가 연습하던 모차르트의 아다지오는 새삼 심오하게 들렸다. 갑자기 그 복잡한 음들이 내 손안에 들어온 것 같았다. 나는 그저 재미 삼아 슈팅글의 덮개를 열었다. 소리의 울림이 파도를 이루어 내게 돌아왔다. 캐비닛 안에 들어가 있는 느낌이었다. 전율이 그렇게 모든 것을 감싸 안는 듯했다. 건반을 누르고, 소리를 들어라 세련되지 못한 연주였음에도 다채로운 소리와 미묘한 음색이 다시 나를 압도했다. 단지 악보, 음악이 적힌 종이의 놀랍고 추상적인 체계를 보는 것만으로 내 손이 모차르트의 영감을 살려낸다는 것이 놀라웠다. 내가 해야 할 일은 그저 맞는 건반을 누르는 것뿐이었다. 물론 쉬운 일은 아니었지만 불가능하지는 않았다. 이 능란한 기계는 내가 작곡가의 생각을 끌어안고 그것을 손의 운동으로부터 음악의 무한궤도로 번역하는 것을 가능하게 해주었다. 마지막 화음들이 허공에 머물다 서서히 물러나는 동안 나는 의자에서 일어나, 내가 소유하기는 했지만 결코 정복하지는 못한, 언제 보아도 낯설어 보이는 악기 안을 들여다보았다. 당연히 음악이 중요했다. 모차르트는 모차르트였다. 그러나 나는 내 피아노로 어떤 음악을 연주한다는 게 얼마나 깊은 만족을 주는 일인지 다시 깨달았다. 감정적으로, 육체적으로, 지적으로, 영적으로. 그 만족은 무한했고, 그것이 내 삶에 주는 영향은 깊디깊었다. 나는 방 건너편에서 피아노를 바라보면서, 그 모퉁이가 텅 비었을 때를 기억해보려 했다. 전생의 일 같았다. (p342-343)

- 사드 카하트 , ' 파리 좌안의 피아노 공방 ' 중에서

#독서lemon2sang

[animezinglife]

1, 12, 24, and 30

what are you currently reading? Right now, I'm actually trying to decide between a childhood favorite (Afternoon of the Elves) and a fantasy novel that just came in (A Court of Thorns and Roses, which everybody and their dog's been suggesting for my list at work and beyond. Even my hairdresser was pushing it). I could easily knock Afternoon out in a few hours, but I've been lazy with my reading the past couple of weeks.

(12) what are your favourite genres? General fiction, fantasy, and contemporary romance. The order in which those fall depends on my mood and the day.

(24) do you read non-fiction? I'll be honest: nonfiction is next to impossible for me to get through. It bores me. There have been some books I've enjoyed more than others (Yeager being one and a couple other biographies from when I was younger), but nonfiction simply isn't my cup of tea. I will throw out one in particular though that I loved because it reads more like a novel: The Piano Shop on the Left Bank by Thad Carhart. It's essentially the story of a man rediscovering his love for music and bringing it back into his home and into his family's lives.

(30) favourite book this year? Emily Henry's Book Lovers. It just struck about every chord in me even though I couldn't be more different than the two leading characters. There's just something about that one.

#answered #book asks #thank you!

[pipesinparis]

pipes in paris: week 2

Day 7

The ballet tonight was beautiful! I had not seen a ballet since I was little! Back then I definitely didn’t appreciate them as much as I do now. Paying attention to every aspect of the production made the experience more enriching. The stage design was incredible and the costumes were gorgeous. All of the dancers were so phenomenal. You could see their expressions from any corner of the room and they were perfectly in sync. The orchestra was also phenomenal. I enjoyed the way that we could see the pit from our seats, because usually that doesn’t happen. The two singers had beautiful voices and it was always a nice surprise when they started to sing. Going in, I was slightly confused about how they would turn a Midsummer Night’s Dream into a ballet because the story has so many characters that interweave plot lines, but I was only confused about 1 character the whole time! I thought that learning about the Opera Bastille was also really interesting! I can’t believe that their Opera company is government funded! We would never imagine of operating something like that in the states, which is unfortunate. The performers having pension and permanent jobs is something that should be seen more places. 

Day 8

Montmartre was absolutely stunning!! The view from the top of the hill was breathtaking. Aside from monetary concerns, I can see why artists would live there. The actual area itself was extremely touristy but had a completely different vibe from Paris. It almost felt like a french Gatlinburg with the way that the shops were set up. Sacre-Cœur was beautiful. The stained glass was beautiful. I thought it was interesting that Sacre-Cœur is a pilgrimage, especially given the lack of permanent residency for the artists in Montmartre. Learning about the gentrification of Montmartre was not surprising but still frustrating. It is a little surreal to hear about gentrification in a historical context because it is such a prominent modern issue. 

The museum was also really interesting. Learning about Suzanne Valdadon and then getting to see her works and studio was really amazing! Her studio had the most perfect lighting and so many still life props! I liked looking at the old cabinetry and dried paint palettes!  I also enjoyed learning about the poster art and its ties to cabaret. Seeing the old bar and piano was also really interesting! I think that seeing physical artifacts can help transform your experience and make you feel like you are actually in that time period or area. Seeing the Chat Noir posters was really cool because I had been seeing it on tote bags and other small souvenirs all over Paris. I also enjoyed seeing the room of photos of the cancan dancers.

Day 9

Today I admitidly did not get to enjoy the art as much as I would have liked to. Trying to get to a dr. while abroad is no fun! I did really enjoy the readings, especially Women of the Left Bank in Paris! I thought it was interesting to learn how so many different women were trying to shift so many different social constructs regarding women! At the Pioneer’s exhibit, you could really see these missions come to life! The art was unlike any we had seen before and I really enjoyed seeing so many female artists! It was nice to see how the female gaze picks up different details than the male gaze does. My favorite piece was from Jacqueline Marval. I loved the detail in the painting and how a nude woman was still the “subject” of the painting that seemed to nod to exotic performance, but it didn’t feel as sexualized as the other similar paintings we have seen. 

Day 10

Today we went to the Musée d’Orsay which had some really amazing architecture! I thought it was so interesting that the museum used to be a train station! It made me think of Grand Central in New York, although the station being turned into one of the most iconic art museums with so many notable works is definitely a lot more interesting than Grand Central’s mural. I really enjoyed doing the monologue assignment in the impressionist room. I had done an assignment similar my freshman year at the UK art museum, but having so many iconic works to pick from was a big change. It was also interesting for me to see what type of paintings I naturally gravitated for. My taste and where I get inspiration from has changed drastically since my freshman year. I also really enjoy looking at art for the purpose of inspiration. Sometimes I feel like when I look at art I am trying too hard to understand the meanings of the painting or what inspired the painter to do the work, but this time I was mainly concerned about what drew me in personally. I allowed myself to gravitate toward paintings that I normally wouldn’t go toward. I was surprised when the piece that spoke to me the most, which was Berthe Morisot à l’éventail by Édouard Manet, was a darker toned picture. I am almost always drawn to livelier, more colorful and abstract paintings, but something about the way Berthe was staring out drew me in. I am very glad that I chose that painting because it introduced me to a new artist that I may have never heard of otherwise! Her work and life story are so interesting and I love that she decided to paint women from a female gaze!

The Lesson was such a fun play! I wasn’t familiar with the theatre of the absurd before reading and seeing the play but now i’m much more interested in continuing to see them! I really enjoyed the play and personally, I felt that the play was trying to express how we can get so caught up trying to make ourselves sound more intelligent or educated and end up making simple concepts more difficult than they need to be. I also really enjoyed having the opportunity to try and practice hearing french words while having the english translation in front of me. 

Day 11

Today was a great day for viewing art! The immersive exhibit was by far one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Being in the art was such a one of a kind experience. While I was in the exhibit I walked around a little to explore the space, but eventually I found a spot near the corner where I could look out onto most of the factory. As I was sitting, the projected art would wash over me and I could see the art project over my legs and arms, which was definitely my favorite part. I enjoyed Kandinsky’s exhibit most because I enjoyed the way he played with different shapes and I thought that the music went along perfectly. 

Going to Pére Lachaise cemetery was also a really neat experience. Seeing the burial sites of some of the artists and historical figures we have been learning about on this trip was really cool. I also kind of freaked out when I found out that we were in the cemetery that Phantom of the Opera based a scene in. I also really enjoyed seeing Oscar Wilde’s burial, partially because I am reading one of his books on this trip! Seeing the inscription on the back of his grave reaffirmed my love for him. Reading his work in modern time almost makes me frustrated at the current state of popular literature because so much of it seems mindless compared to the social commentary he was integrating into his stories. 

Day 12

Graffiti art may be my new favorite hobby. I definitely need to hone in on my skill, but I could fill an entire wall with lines and circles and be perfectly content. Seeing a street artist work was really interesting because street art is the artwork we see so often but I feel like most people don’t take time to notice how interesting it is. There isn’t a day I don’t see at least one form of graffiti and I think that I will have a different appreciation for it now. 

Traveling through the different museums and exhibits last week challenged me to stop and appreciate different forms of art that I may not usually be drawn to. It was honestly a little overwhelming for me and at some point a lot of the pieces started to blend together, especially at the musée d’Orsay, but occasionally a piece would stand out from the rest and make me want to spend more time with it. Of the museums, the Louvre was definitely my favorite. I loved seeing all of the art from the romanticism era and I loved all of the ceiling art. The Louvre also had the art piece that resonated with me the most which was Venus de Milo. I think that she resonated with me most because of her role in setting the beauty standard and seeing how much it has shifted over time. My favorite painting I have seen so far was L’Etrange Femme by Jacqueline Marval in the Pioneers exhibit at musée du Luxembourg. I love the way she captured the subject but still paid great detail to the background. Her artistry seemed extremely modern compared to some of the other works, but you could still see the influence from earlier time periods in terms of subject matter and technique. I would be interested in studying her to find more of her pieces and her motivation for moving towards a new form of art. 

[loverobertdowney]

Photos of Lexington KY Prove It's a Beautiful Place to Live

Lexington, Kentucky is famous for its beauty and history. From the Civil War battlefields in its parks to the haunted cemeteries in its park, this city has it all! The picturesque Victorian town was once known as "Pretty Little Punkie." And, though the name has since been changed, it's still home to some of the most beautiful people you'll ever meet. So, what are you waiting for? Get out there and take photos of your friends and family. You never know when a good photo opportunity will arise!

The photos Lexington KY will show you why. Home to the University of Kentucky and many of the world's most famous brands, it's also known for its welcoming people, wonderful restaurants and drink prices you can actually afford. Add in an abundance of stunning parks that anyone can enjoy and take amazing photos Lexington KY and you have what you need to make the most of your time here. In fact, it's probably even more beautiful than you think!

History:

In 1692, a group of settlers led by Richardico Metcalf purchased land in what is now Lexington. The area was then called "Duffield's Purchase.", after the first English-speaking settler. The Metcalfs were primarily Irish Catholic immigrants, and they named the new settlement "Lexington" in honor of their country. By the mid-19th century, the town had become known as a center for tobacco and wine plantations, but in the early 20th century, the University of Kentucky (U of K) was established in Lexington. As the university grew, both physically and economically, the city grew with it. Newer residential areas were developed around the university, and the old downtown area was left almost untouched. What's more, many of the city's older landmarks—including the historic Lexington Trading Post, the Lexington Planetarium, and the Kentucky Statehouse—were spared demolition.

Architecture:

The Lexington skyline is filled with classic, red-brick buildings that have been proudly standing for more than a century. Many of Lexington's most recognizable buildings—including the Hotel University, the Metropolitan Hotel, the Lexington Opera House, and the Lexington Landmark—were designed by prominent architects. The Lexington skyline is also home to many other notable structures, including the colossal Beamish Moorman Spindles, the Lexington Children's Museum, Renaissance Health and Wellness, and Macy's.

Parks and Recreation:

Located just a short drive from the center of Lexington, the city's parks and outdoor areas are a great place to avoid the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Some of the best parks in town include Ravenel Park, the new and almost universally loved Boonesborough Park, and Phil Potee Park.

  Culture and Entertainment:

From world-renowned art museums such as the Museum of Art, to charming old-world restaurants, to whimsical and quirky theatres, you won't be able to stay away from culture in Lexington. If you're into art, you can check out the National Museum of American Art, the impressive Castello di Amorosa, or the World Bank. If you prefer a more intellectual and historical attraction, you can visit the Old Town Hall, the D.W. Mason Piano Building, or the Bardavon Library.

Shopping and Dining:

If you're looking for a spot of lunch or dinner before heading back out to the parks and recreational areas, check out the Heights on Broadway. The Heights on Broadway is a restaurant and lounge located in the old railway station, and it is one of the most popular places in Lexington to eat. The Old Town Market is a great place to shop for all things local, and you can always find lots of live music there.

#photos Lexington KY

[elephantsay]

There is no such thing as music note by note just as there is no such thing as a book word by word. We have to accept that things are ambiguous.

The Piano Shop on the Left Bank by Thaddeus Carhart

#book #books #bookquotes #literature #litquotes #nonfiction #nonfictionquotes #the piano shop on the left bank #thaddeus carhart #carhartquotes

[practicalkatie]

I was really interested to read a book about pianos, repairing pianos, buying pianos, playing pianos.  It was a totally new world to me.  As a non-piano player, the book dragged  at the end, but still a good read.  

#The Piano Shop on the Left Bank #Thad Carhart #books #reading

[theepisceswriter]

since ur sexting post all i can think of is sugar daddy erwin. that man is classy and so generous he’d be the best sugar daddy. do you have any headcanons of that? i love how u write sm. thank youuuuu

OF COURSE BESTIE, anything for you. I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, ily 💜 Now here’s some sugardaddy!Erwin headcanons for you:

TW: fembodied!reader (she/her pronouns), spicyness underneath the read more, slight daddy kink, 18+

In a modern AU I always envision Erwin to be in a powerful position like a professor, lawyer or law firm owner, or a CEO of some successful company. Whatever the job is, this man is making bank and has more than enough extra money to spend on a sugar baby. It’s just him that he’s primarily taking care of, so one extra person would barely put a dent in his paychecks.

You didn’t meet him on a sugar daddy site or anything like that. You worked at a small diner that he frequented because of the nostalgia vibes it gave him and also because he was quite smitten with you the very first time he saw you. He doesn’t care that the coffee tastes like dirt or that his food is mostly grease whenever he orders it, it’s the way your face lights up whenever he gives you a tip that’s probably worth more than a paycheck for you that keeps him coming back.

At this point he has your schedule memorized, coming on days that he knows you’ll be there, and striking up conversation with you whenever he can. It’s through your little conversations in between breaks and days on when the diner isn’t busy at all that he learns a lot about you and becomes attached. At first he thought it was nothing more than a platonic connection, but that changed one day when a song of jealousy stabbed him in the heart when he saw another customer trying to flirt with you. He decided that he needed to make a move on you soon because you were too beautiful for him to lose you to some lowlife, so the next time you came to his table to refill his coffee he popped the question without even thinking, “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

You were surprised, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t have the hots for the older man as well so you agreed and your first date night was the first time you really got insight to how much money he had. First off, he sent you a custom made dress along with some stunning jewelry to go with it and designer pumps that you’ve only thought about wearing in your dreams. He wanted to make sure you didn’t feel left out or under dressed at the high scale restaurant he took you too. Not only that, but he had a chauffeur pick you up with him in the backseat of the car. He was being extra extra that night and spoiled you like a princess for the whole night. Not letting you even touch your wallet once and getting you everything you wanted.

If you couldn’t pay him with money you were going to repay him with the 2nd best way you knew; a blowjob. It was on the way back to his penthouse in the back seat of the chauffeur. Partition up and tinted so he wouldn’t see you two; Erwin splayed out on the seat with his hand on the back of your head guiding it up and down as praises left his lips.

“Good girl, just like that. Your mouth feels so good around daddy’s cock.” “You do that so well, I’m definitely going to have to keep you around.” Didnt even care that the chauffeur was probably listening to the two of you, but I think exhibition and showing you off to other people would be a big kink of sugardaddy!Erwin.

Not saying he’s passed you around his colleagues before, but he’s probably passed you around his colleagues at one point. (Levi, Nile, & Zeke all at once mayhaps 👀)

ANYWAYS, he then repaid your favor of giving him a blowjob by taking you inside of his penthouse and taking you to pound town all night long. I’m talking about sex on his expensive marble counters, on top of the piano in his livingroom, in his bathroom thats as big as your bedroom and yes, he did use the shower head while you were in the shower to stimulate you even more. Not only that, but at one point in the night he fucked you up against the windows of his penthouse from behind. You can’t even remember how many times you came that night.

It was set in stone from that moment on that you would be something like a sugar baby to him. I say something like a sugar baby because your dynamic is not “normal” compared to how other sugar baby/sugar daddy dynamics are. It’s much more like a regular relationship with the benefits of a sugar daddy & baby relationship. He treats you like you’re his wife and you even have a big diamond promise ring on your finger to prove that one day you will end up being his wife.

You can say you’re going to the store to go buy some bagels because you guys ran out and he’s handing you a thousand dollars like it’s nothing. Your eyes glance over at a purse while you two are out shopping? He’s getting it for you! You say you like a certain brand of shoes? He’s buying you every pair possible in your size. Not to mention the stacks he drops on you every month for lingerie so you can send him those pictures of you.

You stay at his penthouse with him most of the time but just incase you need your own space every now and then, he bought you an apartment in the building that his penthouse is in. Fully furnished and paid off, so you don’t have to do anything but enjoy it. He’s such a gentleman, always spoiling you and treating you like a Queen.

#I guess today is scream about my blonde boyfriends day #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot imagines #erwin smith imagine #erwin smith headcanons #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith smut #erwin smith #Spicy.

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: A Festive Day in the Life of Dan and Phil!

Date video was published: 12/20/2014 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 254

The 2014 DITL video! The last one had been back in August 2013. This is my absolute favorite DITL and probably one of my top five DNP joint videos of all time. Get ready for me to have way too much to say about it.

0:00 - sleepy morning + quiff Phil! We’ll see a surprising amount of that in this video.

0:05 - “almost a week till Christmas,” so they must have filmed this just a few days before it was posted

0:25 - no waking up Dan in “his” bedroom like in the first two DITL. Hmmm...this scene doesn’t seem staged at all...especially since Phil’s laptop is already open on the arm of the sofa. Unless he just left it like that overnight.

0:37 - love that the other advent calendar on the mantle in the one they made. 😂 There are 18 of the doors opened on it, so they’re probably filming this on the the 18th or 19th of December.

0:47 - they both jump into doing the theme music as soon as Phil says “titan”

0:57 - that is pretty late for them to be putting up the decorations! Phil looks sad about it too.

1:01 - sad tinsel. I think Phil had the silver piece in the background in his last video. And the little WALLE in the background here, from all the way back in PINOF. 🥺

1:17 - this domestic insight, just 😭😭😭

1:26 - full circle back to the first DITL video. I wonder if they watched the previous DITLs before filming this one.

1:41 - so many mugs.

1:48 - Dan did not want that one because it was very hard to actually drink out of as he discovered in DITL London. I really bet they did watch the previous ones shortly before this...so many references back!

1:55 - awww, happy warm Phil

2:13 - such a dramatic sigh but he goes to get it anyway!

2:25 - well that is a terrifying way to burn a tealight...put it on a dish!

2:33 - I love that there is no explanation for this in the video. Phil is superstitious about new shoes on the table, which they had both tweeted about before.

2:40 - Dan fashion show and an encouraging Phil

2:47 - immediate smile when Dan notices Phil there

2:56 - why does Phil looks SO GOOD in this clip. also, as usual a weird/slightly horrifying poem from his brain.

3:02 - love that they both decided to wear holiday jumpers. They also wore these same ones for their December radio show. Also the Dan lean-in 🥺

3:12 - PJ tweeted about this DNP visit!

3:27 - this whole leaving scene is possibly the most domestic part of any video - the candle argument, the coat adjustment, the stop in the bathroom to check their hair, Phil checking to make sure Dan has keys, the spider checking and joking... I mean.

4:13 - more throwback conversation to DITL London

4:35 - so glad he chose not to lick his hand. Even more horrifying in 2021.

4:40 - Dan talked about this and falling up the escalator in What not to do on Public Transport

5:00 - “bit corporate isn’t it?” but caves immediately because Phil wants to. 

5:10 -  Love that Phil orders while Dan finds a table. Love that Phil makes Dan draw something happy not just a sad face. Love Dan’s huge smile after that.

5:33 - Dan really can’t say much he was reading his phone in the clip right before this!

5:58 - Dan’s talking about this weird incident that Phil posted a clip of on LessAmazingPhil

6:18 - they always go to at least one nerdy shop in the first DITLs!

6:36 - the things they choose to zoom in on in this shop...Dan with Spiderman’s crotch a few seconds before this and now Phil on the shirtless guy book cover. subtle, lol.

7:29 - I had actually heard of this board game prior to this video because Wil Wheaton did a TableTop episode. I remember being so surprised to see DNP wanting it!

7:39 - Phil and his weird people encounters. 😂 And Dan just mocking him for it.

7:59 - they did, in fact, go to see Matilda the next summer.

8:10 - oh my god this clock scene. Of course Phil wants to make a game of it. And then Dan with the seemingly slight fudging of what he was pointing at. And this look and then both of them giggling. 👀

8:32 - that start of Dan’s running! This is around the time or shortly after he had started to see a therapist (according to the timeline he gave in Daniel and Depression), so thinking he probably wanted to start for his mental health.

9:11 - Dan talks about the “guy wearing the white sheet in Manchester” in What not to do In Town. Their reminiscing faces are too much.

9:19 - Phil is so excited about this. He had tweeted a couple times in the past about Moomins (1, 2)

9:37 - the excitement about the treats and the festive drinks and decorations and Phil’s teasing 😭

10:04 - they film fairly often in the back of cars and I just feel like must be so awkward, but it doesn’t seem to bother them. And Phil’s hair is quiffed again!

10:28 - and the stairs song! Which they are too prepared for so it must be a regular thing they say/sing. This video has SO MANY moments that I love.

10:51 - Phil just sitting while Dan hauls the tree box out. Maybe Dan lost rock-paper-scissors.

10:59 - reminiscing about THE TREE now, which is the last time they decorated on camera

11:09 - why is this a common theme in DITLs!? lol. Love that they’ve lit the candle again after getting home.

11:22 - “stop doing that” as he can’t control his giggles. sure.

12:03 - okay, Phil had to go get the other decorations! The “Christmas faces” are slightly horrifying

12:22 - that is the most horrifying. also, Dan and Phil themed toys/decor even in the bathroom.

13:02 - Dan’s little messed up piece of hair in the back is so cute. Also love that they have the garlands up and everything at this point too.

13:19 - even more quiff-Phil!

13:31 - their fridge contents are not great

14:04 - unexpected filming but a huge grin anyway from Phil. Also, how do they make just answering the door so awkward, lol. Also: what is that picture in the background in the bathroom(?)

14:32 - they’re so excited about this set up and dinner plan

14:43 - and now glasses Phil! Also, arguing about wrapping neatness. I love it. Although when we see Phil’s wrapping in a minute, I think I might agree with Dan...

15:03 - PJ will end up with one of these face banks

15:10 - Phil came up with some decent gifts for Kath this time, although he didn’t think she had good ideas.

15:18 - I find it so cute that Dan wants to keep the cookbook

15:30 - Dan looks almost embarrassed to share this. He’s also got something “12 Days of Christmas” themed in that blue box on the chair. Although apparently a lot of his family just wanted money.

15:37 - I have no words for Dan filming this closeup and then them choosing to keep it in the video.

16:16 - Phil’s trying to be all serious with his wrapping tutorial and then the tape just immediately falls. 😂

16:40 - “it’s endearing” Dan does look pretty endeared, lol. Dan’s concerned because the face banks are actually gifts from both of them, at least according to PJ

17:04 - wow, Vine mention

17:25 - Dan’s just expecting Phil to come up with a great pun on the spot. Also, the lobster thing is an old reference.

17:39 - I think I mentioned this in the last DITL post, but I like that we do see even in a short video that they spend some time alone. That’s just so normal, especially for introverts even when you’re that comfortable with someone.

17:45 - Phil will keep reading that book over the holidays

17:48 - we did see the inside of the chest. So what is Dan implying here, lol.

17:52 - well then. Dan’s giggly face though.

18:08 - soft piano Dan 😭

18:25 - Ariana Grande had sent them both cat ears after they met her for the radio show

18:37 - a glimpse at the early gaming channel set-up.

18:46 - we don’t actually see that footage in the gaming video

18:51 - it must be pretty late at night by this point considering it was dark when they came home 

19:15 - Phil’s first instinct is to throw it of course

19:18 - this face and the sweater paws. I can’t. 😭

19:25 - and of course a joint ending. 

19:40 - Dan is so sleepy and happy seeming here

20:13 - awwww 🥺 The last video of 2014!

One difference from the first two DITL is they don’t even pretend that they’re going to see other friends/invite someone over. Just the two of them hanging out and they seem quite happy with that. This is probably the most “domestic” of the DITL videos. I love it so much.

Phil went to his parents’ on the 23rd to celebrate Christmas. He had Swedish food, was very excited as usual, got a stocking with a toothbrush and animal socks, and watched Guardians of the Galaxy. Dan went to his family’s on the evening of the 24th after a candle incident (lol, though I love that he was burning the candles even without Phil there. He started the tradition of yearly Christmas pictures of Colin. And also posted this.

On to the 2015 videos, and the start of the TABINOF/TATINOF era!

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #amazingphil #daniel howell #phil lester #danisnotonfire #amazingphil videos #A Festive Day in the Life of Dan and Phil! #ditl