On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.
I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.
It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.
I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.
My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.
Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.
It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.
I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.
"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".
Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.
"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.
Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.
It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.
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THE PILLS!!!
“Drug misuse is not a disease, it is a decision, like the decision to step out in front of a moving car.” – Philip K. Dick. This quote invites us to reconsider the nature of our choices, likening the act of drug misuse to an error in judgement rather than a predetermined affliction. But what if we expanded this analogy beyond literal drugs and applied it to the emotional “pills” we take in our…
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this is why I keep my DMs open
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Armored woodlice:
1. Pseudarmadillo spinosus
2. Unknown, Armadillidiidae
3. Loreola sp.
4. Loreola sp.
5. Unknown, Armadillidiidae
6. Echinarmadillidium fruxgalli
Photos by Nicky Bay // Facebook // Website
Shared with permission; do not remove credit or re-post!
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www.crazyrock.com.br
Amigos: temos mais uma lista temática sobre artistas do Rock brasileiro que atuaram nos anos noventa para ouvir. Estarei junto ao professor Julio Cesar Souza para tecermos comentários e contarmos muitas histórias sobre tais artistas escalados.
Ouviremos o trabalho de: Lobo Guará, Semente, Saloon & Cia., Madame Butterfly, Justa Causa, Pitbulls on Crack, Second Come, Cavalo Vapor, Anima Dominum, Loch Ness, Santa Crise, The Pills, Last Jocker, Hay Kay, Golpe de Estado e Colarinhos Caóticos.
Serão sete execuções em dias e horários diferentes, entre 26/8 a 1º/9 de 2023.
Anote:
Sábado, dia 26 - 14 horas
Domingo, dia 27 – 20 horas
Segunda-feira, dia 28 – 10 horas
Terça-feira, dia 29 – 31 horas
Quarta-feira, dia 30 – 18 horas
Quinta-feira, dia 31– 16 horas
Sexta-feira, dia 1º/9 – 12 horas
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