#the pinned post is really like just in case someone who isn't can help

[beastabyss666]

You know as a former member of Vivziepop's cult and yes its a cult not a fandom anymore I am disgusted by a majority of the people in it.

Like someone on the subreddit brought up it being kinda tasteless or fucked that they sold sexy Stella merch in bdsm gear when she's abused Stolas physically. The post was deleted quickly and judging by my experiences in the fandom people were stanning Viv or harassing OP and that has got me thinking.

Why is Stella in bdsm gear? Like Stolas and Blitzo are canonically into it yet you give the abuser that...

Like isn't a bit fucked that instead of choosing the canonical practicioners in your show you choose to put someone who uses pain not to pleasure but to slowly break and hurt someone.

We know Vivziepop has a merch rep so how did that get into production?

I also find it fucked that Vivziepop and crew are attempting to tackle an issue as serious as domestic abuse and do it so poorly by writing Stolas and Stella as bickering children next we see them. Then the staff has the utter gawl to sell merch in general of Stella and the fans buying it up.

Like I understand autograph signings slightly but that's the only merch Stella should have.

Vivziepop's cult loves to claim that they utterly depise Stella and deserves to suffer because she's an abuser so how dare people want nuance or not just a generically evil cartoon villain but the moment she is drawn in a sexy way they start throwing money at that.

Like I just want to know how these people if their friends ask about the character on the pin will explain "Oh this is Stella who's a sexy domestic abuser"

Then again am I surprised when Vivziepop makes merch of a rapist and most of the crew have some weird fascination with Valentino and not in the way that he's their best written villain way more like they are simping over him.

I think a lot of fandoms, especially nowadays, have a lot of genuinely bad people who really need help/therapy but see nothing wrong in what they do or just keep doing that, though they know it ain't okay. That's so frustrating when you can't feel comfortable even in an Internet community. But Viv's "fandom"(I mean exactly these two shows, although Zoophobia also had......not very pleasant people) is surely something........Where'd you find so many blatantly oblivious and blind brown nosers which keep pretending everything's good when there's already tons of red flags from Vivienne? Yeah, that's a rare case. I don't wanna interact with this fandom or even talk about it, tbh. I still watch the show cuz it's fun to see how it manages to be worse with every episode, though sometimes I don't make reviews as many other people do it faster and better and I just have nothing to say(I need to take my jaw from the floor). Regarding Stella - well, I don't know on what principles Viv or her team makes merch with the characters, but aren't all characters being sexualized anyway? They even have merch with Chaz, a guy who, like, died in the same episode. And they keep doing new merch with this jerk. And that's obviously because there are people who simp for him. I don't know if Stella's merch may be an insult to those who practice BDSM, I'm not into it, tbh, and I don't take these things seriously, but I find this just a bland sexualisation. Well, it's "sexy merch", but yeah, Stella's all character is based on being a mean aggressive yelling bitch, and this thing.......it must be a character trait, I guess? Or just a sweet treat for rule34 artists, like most of the stuff Viv does. Again, I don't take all of this seriously, this sexy merch was made to tease and please the simping fans, but there's certainly a part of irony in it. Like, people in this fandom hate Stella so much that they shit on people who simply want her to be a more complex character, and they're........still buying all this stuff. They........enjoy Stella being "hot dommy mommy" and still keep hating her? Ngl, only Viv's fanbase can do that, lol. I've seen this fandom from the start and I can say that many people here always had some weird obsession with Valentino. I even remember some person passive aggressively telling me that "he's just very charismatic and it's your problems if you can't see it". When there were, like........A musical clip and a comic where he just was being an abusive jerk. Yeah, that's a really weird fascination. Also, doesn't one of HH's crew, who is an animator or a director(don't remember correctly), has a rape fetish and has drawn an animatic on their beloved ship Angel/Val? Hella ironic that a show about serious portrayal of trauma and abuse has a crew member(or members) which legit.......find it hot or cute. That's sick af but I guess Viv doesn't care who she hires. Oh, that's definitely not a pit I would like to fall in. I'm not sure there's any hope on Hazbin portraying trauma or mental illnesses properly, but I'll still watch it anyway. Whenever it comes out....

#anti vivziepop #spindlehorse critical #vivziepop critical #anti helluva boss #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss salt #helluva boss critique #anti hazbin hotel

[vidavalor]

Ok, your meta where you talk about what Dagon's saying about Satan and Crowley and the appetizers has gutted me like a fish (that pun feels wrong 😁) Do you see other scenes that are about this in the show? I think you're right about it and I'm just wanting to pick your brain on the topic because I think it makes the story even better if it is talking about stuff like SA.

Hi! Thanks for reading. 💕I really appreciated the pun actually lol as it's a tough topic and good to have a laugh in there. I wrote a post about parallels between Crowley and Satan and Nina and Lindsay that I'll link below but I do see it in other scenes that I haven't mentioned yet as well, including a scene with Mrs. Sandwich and the Discorporated!Aziraphale scene...

TW: discussion of SA under the cut.

One scene I see it in is this actually this one:

As they're getting ready to go face the demons-- led by devout Satanist Shax-- Crowley asks Mrs. Sandwich if she "has her hat pin." Crowley isn't under the 19th century spell that everyone else has been at times during The Ball but he's referencing the one thing from that era that Mrs. Sandwich will get, likely whether she is still under the magical influence or not. Hatpins were banned in England during the suffragette movement in that era as they were the most common thing a woman could carry on her person that she could use as a weapon to fend off sexual assault-- and many women were doing just that. The men who held the government positions and the power sought to outlaw them to "protect themselves" from women by doing this and led to women carrying weapons more surreptitiously-- like hiding a knife in their stockings, etc..

Mrs. Sandwich owns a bordello and is a sex worker and the odds of her not being a sexual assault survivor herself are slim to none. Crowley accurately determines that she's the person in the room best qualified to back him up and he wants her close so he can make sure she doesn't get hurt because he cares about her. Mrs. Sandwich is wearing a hat that is pinned into her hair so she is carrying a literal hat pin but Crowley's question is really asking her if she's otherwise armed-- and ready for this-- to which Mrs. Sandwich replies that she's "got more than that, love." She's got Crowley's back. Who is best equipped to fight The Devil? The ones who already have won a few rounds, like Crowley and Mrs. Sandwich.

There's also this bit from S1 about Crowley and Lucifer/Satan, especially if you take into account how euphemistically food is used in the show:

Yes, Crowley is drunk but it's been the case across a few scenes that there's often a lot of truth in what he's saying when he's off his head. "The food hadn't been that good lately..." He's basically saying he was bored and lonely and depressed and so was vulnerable to Lucifer's initial attentions and what Crowley thought was some sex and some new friends wound up an abusive boyfriend and eternal damnation.

The rest of this scene is Discorporated!Aziraphale appearing to Crowley and it helps illustrate why the first part of it begins with Crowley talking about Satan-- it's to continue to draw a very deliberate contrast between Satan and Aziraphale. Aziraphale shows up and the topic becomes how Aziraphale needs to possess someone to get a body temporarily and get to Tadfield. The prior time in the series at this point that we saw someone possessed was when Satan attacked Crowley. Crowley and Aziraphale are the exact opposite of that in this scene, which is, ultimately, about consent. Aziraphale won't possess Crowley and is, instead, searching diligently for a receptive body-- a person willing to let him possess them. Aziraphale's jokes are sexual innuendo relating to his own lack of a body rather than an actual request to possess him. Lucifer is literally possessive, while Aziraphale is not, and would not break Crowley's trust by violating him.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #aziracrow #good omens 2 #tw sa #tw trauma #tw ptsd

[aihoshiino]

A Starter on B-Komachi Spotting

One of the things I most wish we knew more about in Oshi no Ko is B-Komachi - the peeks we get into their group dynamic in 45510 and especially Viewpoint B are always super interesting to me but in the manga itself, we get shockingly little info about them. We can't even match all their names to their faces! With a little sleuthing though, I've managed to identify three of the six unnamed members which should help us narrow down the remaining girls, with a bonus tinhoil hat headcanon that I'm going to finally table. With that said, let's give it a shot!

The No-Brainers

These ones are easy enough that I'm not giving myself any credit for them but I'm mentioning them for completion's sake. Hopefully if you care enough about Oshi no Ko to read this post you recognize Ai on sight, but did you know another B-Komachi member was identified by name too?

In the Episode 1 BTS video, some settei (concept art/animation refs) for the first episode's preproduction were shown and among them was a B-Komachi member.

At the bottom of the character turnaround, you can see the settei is labelled "めいめい" which is read as 'Meimei'. Case closed!

Interestingly, Mei is also namedropped in Viewpoint B and it stated to have written lyrics for at least one of B-Komachi's songs around when Ai was fourteen. Maybe we've got her to thank for Heart's♡Kiss?

The Deeper Digs

So, full disclosure – credit for this first ID goes to users thePermianwascool and ali94127 as they pointed out all these details in my Viewpoint B thread a few months ago. I'm just getting it all in one spot!

Viewpoint B, like 45510, is narrated by an unidentified B-Komachi member but we have just enough details about who she is in the story to put a face to her and it's the B-Komachi member in yellow with the penguin hairpin:

Her member colour is yellow

VB-chan left B-Komachi before the first gen disbanded and accordingly, Penguin Girl is one of the members missing from the final concert.

I don't think it's a stretch to call that one a slam dunk.

Interestingly, the fleeting connection between the Viewpoint B narrator and Ai is the heart of that sidestory and it meant enough to Ai that even years after that single conversation, she considers the narrator her closest friend in B-Komachi. And if you pay attention to the anime art, our Viewpoint B narrator suspect is almost always placed directly at Ai's side with a consistency that feels intentional.

Maybe Ai really did have a friend by her side all this time.

In addition to our narrator, Viewpoint B also identifies another B-Komachi member called Kanan. While this is not a name we've heard before, B-Komachi members are also referred to by fans by cute, affectionate nicknames in-universe. As such, it's possible that she is the 'Kyun' that Sarina refers to in episode/chapter 1.

The other identifying feature we're told about is Kanan's long, silky black hair. In the lineup there are only two unidentified B-Komachi members with long hair and only one with hair I would say reads as black to me.

The girl with the panda pin.

In addition, this post is mostly spoiler free but for Oshi no Sickos who are caught up on the current arc, here are some ROT13 filtered spoilers from the manga that make me slightly more confident in calling this shot.

Xnan'f ebyr va 15 Lrne Yvr vf na nf-bs-guvf-cbfg havqragvsvrq O-Xbznpuv zrzore. Va zber be yrff gur fnzr oerngu gung guvf cbvag vf rfgnoyvfurq, Xnan vf nyfb gurzngvpnyyl pbaarpgrq gb gur vzntrel bs cnaqnf juvpu jbhyq zngpu Xnana'f navzny zbgvs. Vg nyfb cebonoyl whzcrq bhg ng lbh jvgubhg zr fnlvat vg ohg abgr gur fvzvynevgvrf va gurve anzrf, gbb – Xnan naq Xnana.

Someone Stop This Girl Cooking

This part of the post is where I stray out of reasonable assumptions and into wild speculation territory but it's speculation I feel is backed up enough by the source that I don't want to entirely discount it. While this isn't strictly an ID, I do want to call attention to a character I think may be more important than she initially appears to be: the B-Komachi member in blue with the hamster hairpin.

Of the B-Komachi members, she is the only one other than Ai to have a distinctly fantastical hair colour - the other girls all have varying degrees of unnatural shades but Hampter Girl and Ai both stand out as having very distinctly 'anime' looking hair.

In addition, she is given a lot of passing but very notable focus but the anime's framing. She is one of the two other B-Komachi members who join Ai in the private performance of Sign wa B where the twins perform their lightstick dance and is the center of the trio of B-Komachi members we see at Ai's funeral.

Shun Sawai - one of episode 1's character designers and animators - also posted some official art that has her front and center of B-Komachi.

If these aren't just coincidences, it's possible she's being given some attention because she has some importance to the plot or the story as a whole. And why would that be?

As we've already established, Penguin Girl here is our Viewpoint B narrator...

So what if our Hamster Girl is the narrator of 45510?

If this is the case, that would make our Blue B-Komachi member one of the three founding girls paid homage to with Ai's passcode - Nino, Watanabe or Takamine. Picking entirely at random, I'm choosing to headcanon her as Takamine for the time being.

Keep in mind that this section of the post is strictly speculation of course! I just think it would be a nice fit.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #hoshino ai #b-komachi #b komachi

[shadowfoxsilver]

Donation Scams

Over the years, several users have popped up out of nowhere claiming they need mutual aid. Now generally, for the most part, those who are asking for aid usually are legitimate users. Unfortunately, recently, some who are sending asks for aid are actually scammers using randomly generated blog names and posing as someone who needs aid while stealing the information from those who really need help. They will even go so far as stealing the info from someone who may have passed away recently with little care to what happens from theft.

I am not saying all users needing aid are scammers; Rather, there are those who are mixed in with the real users and making it difficult to find them by yourself. I will attempt to explain how these scams work as best as I can with examples given.

tl:dr - Scammers are stealing info from legit donation posts from numerous places and currently spamming asks to reblog their scam posts or making up stories in asks telling you to reblog their posts. Searching their username will generally reveal they stole info.

Please share if you'd like. I'm not a popular blog, and sadly some popular blogs have fell for these scams. All I ask is that you remain civil, I am aware most people will already know how to spot scams but this is for those who haven't yet learned how to.

So how do these scams work? A person will join this site with a random username that's clearly been auto-generated and then go about editing their profile to fit whatever they chose to scam by. This may be targeting LGBTQA+, natural disasters that are still being recovered from, other minorities, or fandom related. Regardless of the case, they will copy/paste blog headers from someone else and edit their blog info to anything relevant to what they decided to use for the most part. Once that's done, they'll start searching tags.

These tags they search may also be relevant to their scam, or random posts they'll group together to look somewhat relevant. Usually a fandom tag, a tag for cool things, or a tag for an animal of sorts and generally just any tag that will also be used to look legit. Once they have chosen a tag, they will reblog about 20 posts from the tag but it's usually in the span of several minutes all at once. They will not tag these reblogs, and may occasionally reblog a few days later.

After this, they'll make a donation post. They'll add images to this post that may be sensitive, use words that are guilt tripping towards the reader, or steal the story someone else had when they had coped the post. Usually, though, the story they tell is just copy/pasted from wherever they stole the pics from. Generally speaking, they are from facebook/gofundme/etc and edited enough you may not easily locate the sources. After they make the main post, they'll add a paypal in the post as well that isn't the paypal that would have originally been in the post. At times, the original post did not have paypal listed! Sometimes, though, a different funding site is listed that isn't one very well known.

Afterwards, the scam blog will then start sending asks to reblog their pinned post, which is the donation post. The ask may tell someone to answer privately, an effort to obscure the ask from those who are searching it in tumblr search. They will send these asks out all at once to random users, many who will reblog the post without much attention to it's contents. However, some will take notice of this blog and search it's contents to find out it's rather new. Generally, these blogs are a few days old with no other posts.

Once called out, the scammer will then start to block anyone whose reblogged their posts saying their a scam. They'll also hide any reblogs so it won't show up in the notes.

Examples of scam blogs, sourced from my scam busting blog:

Link Link Link LInk

So please, do your research if you get an ask that asks you to reblog a pinned post. Check to see how old the blog is, how many posts they made, and if the ask was sent to several other users. It's also good to search the paypal name for any existing alerts.

#longpost #long post #scam alert #scam #donation scam #please boost #signal boost #psa

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

babe wake up androgynouspenguinexpert posted another character analysis from the train during her finals week because she's banned herself from drawing anything new

its time to tackle vega, because he's cool.

all of the characters carry a unique narrative theme or motif - the importance of self worth for gavin, impostor syndrome for asher, consent and control for marcus, etc. vega's theme is one of, if not my favourite: nature vs nurture, learned behaviour, and the morality of necessary evil.

vega doesn't start out as a moustache-twirling villain, but he's certainly hurting people for selfish reasons. however - the line between right and wrong starts to blur even across vega's first few appearances. as he points out himself later, vega has essentially created a closed loop of suffering to feed from. yeah, he got someone roofied and kidnapped, which is bad, but he's limited his victims to two people. ivan and baby. there's even a case to be made about baby's safety - ivan is volatile and incredibly dangerous (breaking either glass or ceramic with his bare hands???), but we never see him physically harm baby other than restraining them.

vega's age (pin this) has granted him an incredible level of experience and therefore intellect. he's probably the smartest piece on the board right now, save maybe for brachium (but he's sort of on a board of his own anyway). vega knows exactly what he is. he feeds on suffering and agony, and there's nothing that can change that. equipped with this knowledge, vega has managed to streamline the production of agony without really getting his hands dirty, and basically guaranteed the survival of both people involved.

then in comes caelum. he accidentally discovers vega's operation, and immediately runs to freelancer for help. vega proceeds to kick the shit out of caelum for snitching, and almost kills him. again, this is bad. i'm definitely not defending vega's actions here - but think of it from his point of view: he's set up a way of passively producing agony and is minding his own business. a daemon who is 24 (at time of writing) stumbles across this, and immediately threatens to shut it down as well as get him arrested. that's like a toddler walking in on a meth lab and running to the cops. vega probably could drop everything and relocate to avoid the department, but that would take a lot more time and effort than just soccer kicking the toddler over a fence. so he tries, and fails, because gavin steps in. gavin being able to overpower vega - despite being potentially hundreds of thousands of years younger - speaks to the inefficiency of vega's agony system, and he's smart enough to be well aware of that. agony (in a relatively nice part of california, anyway) isn't really a renewable resource like lust or joy are. harming someone, whether physically or otherwise, enough to fuel vega for any significant amount of time would either permanently damage or kill that person. that's not sustainable.

and then vega gets arrested. the human government asks a being probably older than civilisation to pinkie promise he'll stay in a little concrete box for a while. vega explains later that he doesn't believe in unnecessary violence - unless he decides that it is necessary, i guess - so he probably went along with his arrest fairly peacefully. there's another analysis in here somewhere about where (or from whom...?) the department learned its containment methods, considering they haven't really figured out aria yet.

but anyway - vega gets tossed into maximum security. and even from behind the ward, he's finding subtle (and less subtle) ways to stir the pot, especially with his new department-assigned therapist (another quick aside that's too good for the tags; did anyone else find it super fucking funny that vega's first real friend on elegy is his therapist?). i think vega feels neutral about elegy, leaning ever so slightly towards liking it, but he knows what he is. a demon. vega never was, and never will be, human. that's why he never audibly speaks (which is a fantastic detail) - he's rejecting the most basic form of modern human communication. language. yes, he knows english, but he's probably never spoken a single word out loud. vega's fear of daemons growing away from their roots is also why he starts testing for cracks in the warden's façade - he's worried that daemons are starting to assimilate a little too much. they're losing their identity as a separate species, and losing sight of the sacrifices made during the cacophony. and he's right - the cacophony has entirely faded into myth. his suffering and loss has now been turned into a fable; a cautionary tale about dealing with forces beyond our control.

next is the escape, which is both interesting and sick as hell. vega proves that he's not a fan of violence for the sake of violence by mincing some solitaires, tossing an unconscious warden over his shoulder, and escaping the detention facility. this is vega's first real selfless action. he definitely could have left the warden to the solitaires, but chooses to save them because of their compassion towards him. this shows a little of vega's internal struggle - he's never been around unconditional like, let alone love, because he doesn't need to. he needs to be unlikeable. manipulative. cutthroat. these are the things that keep him safe, but more importantly fed. we know from his imperium counterpart (who will eventually be getting a post of his own) that vega wants to be wanted. as much as he denies it and dodges the topic when it's brought up, vega is not intrigued by the warden because he can toy with them. he's drawn to them because they're willing to understand. they're hesitant, but for now they're giving vega the benefit of the doubt. he's never been given that before.

he also starts to wear down the warden's already fragile sense of morality with the kidnapped department officer. although his methods are very questionable, vega is correct again when he explains that he doesn't really have a choice. he won't hurt the guard, and the guard can't hurt him or the warden, but will keep spewing out hate that vega can feed on for the forseeable future. he's killing two birds with one stone as well - the warden is an inchoate. it's far easier for vega to track down (read: kidnap) one racist than to juggle the emotional intake of two people.

i don't think vega is just trying to break the warden out of their department mould for the sake of shenanigans, nor does he want to return to the glory days - vega knows that humanity and daemonkind are now inseperable after the imprisonment of the sovereigns.

he just doesn't want daemons - genuinely good people trying to make the best of a not fantastic situation - to lose sight of what they are. what they used to be. not anarchists, or pawns for the department. starchildren.

forgive me. i tend to wax poetic.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted vega #MAN i love vega he's so cool no matter what he's in #and the warden just waltzes into his cell with a clipboard and an i can fix him complex strong enough to drag satan himself up from hell #the slow swap from warden to darling is going to take me out #idk man vega can blow up armoured vehicles with his mind but also he's such an old fashioned romantic methinks #alexa play put you through me by arrows in action #also i might possibly maybe have playlists for most of these bastards #maybe ill share em someday

[thetreetopinn]

It occurs to me that there are certain things that I post that a variety of people enjoy.

More specifically, while this is not exclusively a kink/fetish blog, I do post a lot about kink/fetish material that I like.

The interesting thing about these subjects is that depending on the content of a particular piece of material, it can be enjoyed from both sexual and non-sexual perspectives.

Take vore as an example.

I really like it. I don't like hard vore. I don't like graphic digestion. I don't like unwilling (except certain circumstances--like the prey is just cranky because it's an inconvenient moment and the pred just wants to be close and give extreme cuddles, like they're being very possessive).

I don't like a LOT of various aspects that get associated with vore.

That's no shade to those who DO enjoy those aspects, but they're not for me. I just don't care for them.

The thing is, that scenario I posited earlier, where the pred is being possessive and just wants to be cuddly regardless of the prey's mood, that can be enjoyed through a non-sexual lens. It wasn't really that long ago--only a few years I think--that I learned that a lot of ace people really like vore because of that extreme closeness and intimacy without it needing to be overtly sexual.

And just today, I saw a recent vore post get a like from someone, and their username made me curious, so I checked out their blog. Turns out, they're on the younger side (still of legal age to interact without worrying about legal trouble) and they referred to themselves as asexual. They went on to list the sorts of accounts/blogs/people in their 'do not interact' list--which included NSFW accounts.

Now, I consider my account to be NSFW, but it's nowhere near as bad as the porn bots. I only sprinkle in some NSFW stuff here and there, but it's still there so I try to label myself as such for the benefit of others. It puzzled me a little why an exclusively non-NSFW account would like something from my account.

Of course, because of how this site works, likely they just found it through the tags. Bless the tags on this site. It actually helps you find the things you WANT to find. I do wish it was SLIGHTLY more robust, like being able to run a search where you cross reference and/or exclude tags in one go, to get really granular with what you're looking for. E621 does this pretty well. I do wish that kind of system was more widely used.

Still, when I read over their pinned post, it gave me pause. I wanted to reach out and say hello, introduce myself, maybe make a new friend, but that 'no NSFW' part suggested that it might not be entirely welcome. Especially given the rather pronounced age gap.

Just because someone is 18 or older doesn't mean it isn't creepy for you to approach when you're double their age.

Of course, context matters. If you're looking to do the horny dance at them, yeah... kinda creepy. If you're just looking to make connection with other cool people, maybe introduce yourself as a queer elder in case they have questions or are looking for advice... okay sure, that's good. It's important for there to be healthy interaction across different ages/generations.

I don't fault this person for wanting to limit contact with elements they're not interested in or find unsafe (not that they view NSFW as inherently unsafe... it was just one item in a long list of things, many of which WERE unsafe, like MAPs, queerphobes, things like that). I hope that their experience on this site is a good one and they continue to find material they enjoy while being able to filter out the material they don't want to see.

It's just interesting to me.

And it makes me think maybe I should try a little harder to properly label and tag things so that no matter what lens you prefer to enjoy things through, you can find what you like and filter out what you don't.

Anyway, all you folks out there who are ace and enjoy safe vore, you are extremely valid and I appreciate you.

#Random thoughts #writing about kink #writing about fetishes #Not everyone is into the sexy times #Ace people are valid #Extreme cuddles is a great description #Learning how to tag for people to filter and search #I want to be accommodating #I'm an innkeeper after all #Hospitality is my jam #Hospitality vore is a thing I need to write about

[moodymisty]

Hey! How're you doing? I hope you've been able to get some good down time :) If it's ok, I have a bit of a...writing query? How do you know which tense is best to use? I realised that I have a habit of "tense hopping" and that's why I get in a fluster when I write. Is present tense better for writing fics or is this just personal preference? (This is why I draw more than write, I am very rusty with my grammar skills lol, I'll make sure to post some tastefully horny art the ppl will approve of)

(I never know if I should answer these queries public or private, I'll answer public just in case anyone else wants to hear my deranged writing tips)

Uggghhh I'm massively guilty of this as well, especially around like a year ago when I started writing again. I had to go back and revise one of my old posted fics recently because I wrote half in present and half in past.

Putting all this under a readmore because I rambled XD

TL;DR: There really isn't a 'best tense' or anything you can apply, since they can all work. It's largely personal preference, unless you really want the reader to feel a specific way.

Generally however, if I follow one character specifically, I like to use present. Which is why many reader inserts are written in it since we're following 'ourselves' as we do things. It also seems to help readers connect more with what a character is feeling or doing in that exact moment. Present also helps if you're someone (like myself) who likes describing small or mundane details. Like how someone's hand moves, how the pins on their bag jingle. An example ↘

It isn’t as if Crosshair is exactly a stranger to watching people, given he’s someone who is far fonder of scoping out a situation from afar. But ‘scoping out the situation’ implies he’s at some point going to jump into the lake, to take a swim; He’s not, and what he’s doing seems to tread more into the lines of leering, than anything else. It makes him furious at himself for not being able to do something so simple, but no matter how much he tries, he can’t seem to get himself to do much beyond just thinking about you. It’s not like he even can get himself to stop doing that either, as he sits in front of the Marauder with his rifle in his lap. Crosshair wonders if the way your body moves is intentional; The way your hips sway, turning on a heel scurrying from task to task like you’re simply floating on air. There’s just something about you; You’re only updating a maintenance report for one of the reg starfighters to keep it on schedule, and he can barely keep his eyes on the maintenance he normally does religiously. You must be finishing up with it, because the next time he looks up you’re walking this way, waving hello to all of them. There’s not been a day since you met them where you haven’t at least tried to spare them even the tiniest moment of your time.

Meanwhile past tense is usually better the longer your work gets, or works where you're not focusing on anything or anyone super deeply. 'Past tense' also tends to be easier for people to read, and you get more flexibility with how you format the writing. For instance if you're skipping time, it's easier on readers to flow into the idea that an amount of time has passed with past tense wording. Example ↘

“It’s… Cleaner in here?” It’s not clean by any means, but stuff was off the floor, which was a major accomplishment. “Yeah, had to clean it up before we haul it back to Coruscant.” Hunter walked by Echo as he spoke, the rest not far behind. Echo closed the gangplank behind him, and gently crossed his arms as he watched Tech diligently wrap up a cable that has been laying there ever since Echo had first stepped foot in this ship. Having walked into the cockpit, he put a hand on Hunter’s seat as he looked out the viewport, before he spotted the outside of the hanger they’re currently landed in. Tech was fiddling on his datapad for a moment before they took off, having crossed his legs one way before he then swapped to the opposite. “Before? What’s the big occasion? Not that I’m complaining.” Hunter gave a small smile.

Using italics, for instance like say using them when a character is thinking of a past interaction, can be helpful for if you NEED to swap tense briefly, but don't want to jolt the reader. Forming it more as we're watching the character in the present, think of the past. Rather than sending the reader themselves to the past. Golly I hope that makes sense. Here.

He remembers the way his legs were hanging off the side of his bunk, aching and in pain after a nightmare had woken him up from his sleep. He’d been sitting just like this for ages, staring off with his heart racing in his chest before you’d come over, sitting beside him. You were quiet for a bit, with Echo silently enjoying the feeling of company. And when you did finally speak, you were offering him even more of your time than you’d already given him. ‘I think I just need some sleep. But…’ He had glanced your way and saw the dim light shadowing the edges of your features, as you looked right at him. ‘Thank you.’ Your lips pressed against the corner of his mouth, eyes closed. When you pulled away, there was tiniest smile on your face. ‘Night, Echo.’

Apologies for the tangent, and again, this is all just my personal thoughts. I have no professional writing experience beyond middle school English class. I am but a humble fic writer. But I really hope it helps! And If I didn't answer your question (I have a tendency to go off the rails) Feel free to tell me!

(exclusive image of me writing)

#follow me for more mediocre advice as I just write about dick for the 2973429742th time #forgive the ramble #I am far from a perfect writer and I'm sure posting this in a writing forum would get me torn to shreds #But I hope my advice helps none the less! If not? I sworry ;; #not writing #reply

[bookshelfdreams]

Hi, thoughts on Stede's motor skills (or lack thereof)?

I may have looked through your our flag means death-tag to find some post(s) that helped to drag me into this wonderful show (hope you don't mind me doing that), came across this idea and now i'am curious.

Wish you a cool evening (again)!

boy, do I have thoughts on that!

Stede really doesn't seem to have the best gross motor skills, does he? Hand-eye-coordination, spatial awareness, balance. Developing muscle memory. All not his forte.

He just seems sort of awkward in his body, doesn't he? We seldom see him move with confidence and grace. We don't see him inhabit his space comfortably. I can't cite any specific scenes for this, it's just an overall impression.

For all that fandom loves to portray him as a bit of a wuss, in actual canon, Stede has an absurdly high pain tolerance. He gets stabbed in the gut and just sleeps it off; he's clearly in pain in ep4, but doesn't let that stop him from doing stuff. He spends a whole night pinned to the mast with a sword, and by the next morning, he's still coherent and polite ("I'd love it out!" wtf babe). Seems to me like someone who got hurt often as a child, and was told constantly not to cry about it. Really, we see him swallow down and refuse to acknowledge his emotional pain all the time; why should physical pain be any different? And for both, he must have had plenty of practice throughout his life. Clumsiness leads to frequent (small) injuries.

Why does Badminton call him fat when he isn't as an adult and wasn't as a child? Obviously bullies will just say whatever is most hurtful, but why this specifically? Because Stede is bad at movement and therefore terrible at sports. Fatness and clumsiness are interlinked in the cultural consciousness.

Speaking of childhood bullying, when tries to move while distracted, he runs straight into the only tree around. Poor spatial awareness, movement requires his concentration in a way it doesn't for other people.

The way he flails around with the oars when he's tied to the dinghy. Again, he's distracted; he can't concentrate on his movements and they don't come naturally to him.

The way he hangs on the rope ladder and struggles to get himself over the reeling in ep1 speaks of poor balance and muscle tone to me. He does get better at this; poor motor skills don't mean one is unable to learn, just that it takes more time.

Ed clearly struggles to teach him useful swordfighting, which seems odd to me, because with his social background, Stede should probably have gone through fencing lessons as a child? Why is he so bad at this? Why does Ed resort to fun flirty bullshit and the whole "stab me!" thing? Teaching Stede complex movements is a frustrating experience for both of them and Ed would much rather they have fun together.

Another thing about the swordfighting scene is how Ed tries to be encouraging ("You are improving though") and Stede immediately brushes him off ("Yeah, it's been days since I cut myself on my sword!"). Now he really doesn't get complimented often (or like. At all) so it's difficult to say how he usually handles it, but the notion that he's capable of learning complex movements is clearly at odds with his own view of himself.

With one or two exceptions, we generally don't see Stede engage in or enjoy movement. I know fandom loves a dancing scene, but can you actually imagine canon Stede with the eye-hand-foot-coordination, muscle memory, and confidence it would take to make dancing fun instead of a chore? I can't tbh.

I could go on but you get the point. Stede is bad at moving his body, I rest my case.

#im not saying its the objective truth & i am DEFINITELY not diagnosing stede w anything #but this is how i chose to read this & frankly nobody can stop me #also!!! thank you SO much you have no idea how happy it makes me when i leave a half-formed thought in the tags #& people care enough to ask me about it #esp in this case!! weeks later!!!! thank you for being interested <3<3<3 #of COURSE i dont mind you going through my tags thats what theyre for <3 #cakeeatingwingedcat #message #our flag means death #stede bonnet #thoughts

[selamat-linting]

There are millions of things that were once considered supernatural that have since been proven as scientific reality. Platypuses, for one.

At some point "I don't believe in the supernatural" becomes "Science has already discovered everything there is to be discovered".

Which is factually incorrect.

One could argue that space aliens are supernatural. They are also incredibly likely to exist, somewhere out in the infinite expanse.

You don't just believe that magic isn't real, you also believe that if something is real it cannot be magical.

In a world where children's laughter exists?

How silly of you.

maybe you should understand the context of what im writing first asshole. in my country, we have faith healers, people who say they can fix a stroke with a massage, people who believe the stars align someone's career and personality, people who claim they can double money with some chants and help from djinns, people who put graveyard soil on their competitors' shop. people who ate convince thousands of severely ill people to stop chemo treatments to drink prayer water. people who collect gemstones and call it magic then sell it to a high price for desperate people down on their luck. and sooo many grifters saying they could speak to the dead. that is the "magic" im talking about. where in the world did i refer to magic as a metaphorical descriptor for something beautiful?

"magic" in my life, is a code for grifters, people using the naivety, desperation, and grief of others to drain them of money, giving them false hope, or worse. you have no idea how many cases of parents that were misled by local witch doctors saying their kids arent actually dead forever in the woods, theyre just taken to the realm of invisible beings and will come back someday. or mentally ill people and neurodivergent kids literally tortured in an effort to exorcise ghosts and bad spirits. spiritual gurus sexually harrassing vulnerable women for cleansing/ritual purposes, or faith healers and mediums who realized they cant keep up the lie anymore so they started killing and raping their clients. do you want me to send you a fucking of all that news stories that happen in my country? my country doesnt need more magical thinking, we need scientific and secular education, and a conscious effort to get rid of those superstitions or else we'll be stuck praying to various entities and magic items instead of actively revolting and working together to make a better country.

also where the fuck did i say science has already discovered everything? im saying im a skeptic, that means i believe everything has a scientific explanation, but that doesnt mean science have already figured everything out nor that its free of criticism. i dont doubt i will die with the knowledge that we only know so little about the universe we might as well call ourselves cavemen.

also where the fuck did i bring up aliens you freak?

forgive me for assuming but, let me guess : you skim read my personal post and instantly paint me as a stuffy skeptic bro who adheres to reason and hates whimsy despite barely knowing me or my life. youre shadowboxing over someone you created in your head but youre convinced youre fighting me. well i may be wrong so i apologize beforehand

but anyway, i hope youre just a stranger who never reads this reply. if youre not, then you really should have read my pinned post before deciding to follow my blog or be my mutual. i already write it down there that im critical to any form of magical thinking and supernatural bullshit. leave my fucking blog if you cant handle it.

but no matter who you are, i hope you got scammed by a faith healer and had a botched suicide attempt after realizing youve fucked up your entire recovery process and lost all of your money and potential. or yknow what, cut the middle man. just kill yourself tonight. youre into magic right? you believe in those signs of the universe and lucky numbers stuff? cmiiw but if its true i hope you know that this is a sign from the universe to kill yourself.

#asks #might delete this later #because some of the words here are harsh #but i kinda want to be a messy bitch for a few hourse #i got hate anons sometimes but this type of stuff is just... ugh. annoying in a way i cant describe

[forevertrueblue]

In some ways fandom is a lifeline but in other ways it's so so so unhealthy for me (I have a cycle of becoming so obsessed with something I pin a lot of my hopes and feelings on it and so far it seens the only way to release those feelings is to move on to a new obsession). I'm embarassed by both, and it's something I've never been able to bring myself to discuss with a therapist because I know what they'd say. I hear it in my own head the whole time. And they'd be coming at it from the perspective of someone who most likely wouldn't be able to really relate to it, which is why I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them.

I was so obsessed with fandom things I willed it into becoming my job and it has been for the past 5 years. I've come to accept that it's probably not good for my long-term mental health for that to remain the case but as of a month from now I have no other feasible options for the forseeable future.

Right now I have a contract position in anither sector I'm really enjoying and it's good timing considering the strikes. It's definitely not a coincidence that I've been in good spirits during the week despite being sick for nearly a month now but then having massive BPD breakdowns over the weekends (basically fandoms and content are like my equivalent to FPs, and I think I managed to contort it that way so I don't unfairly treat actual humans in that mannner). But in a month that's gone and my other prospects seem to have gone nowhere.

I feel discomfort in doing media coverage rn. Not so much because it's scabbing since I know it isn't, but because all I can think about is that things aren't right in the industry right now, a lot of people are suffering, and unlike with COVID where things were simply delayed, some of these experiences are things that won't be able to be "made up for".

I support the strikes and want the unions to get what they deserve for sure. But I don't want Battle of Songbirds and Snakes to come out until the fandom influencers I love can analyse it with me and Rachel Zegler can slay those red carpets. I don't want The Marvels and especially not Loki Season 2 to come out until the cast can do silly interviews together and my fave YouTubers can post breakdown videos (and I can maybe do some press? Possibly? Well, that's another form of FOMO so I'm gonna leave it there for now.) But even regardless of the job side of it, this stuff is a large part of what keeps me going mentally.

And yes, I realize a ton of people have it worse than me with this strike situation, and even to compare it to the pandemic is probably in bad taste. But please don't message or comment about that; you won't change my feelings, you'll just add a heaping helping of shame on top of them, and that won't solve anything. Just read the last paragraph on page 211 (to 212) of The Perks of Being a Wallflower and shut it.

I don't know how to sit with these emotions, and I know it's immature but really the only thing that can snap me out of these kinds of meltdowns is the promise that things will be made up to me, and steps being put into place to make that happen (this is actually growtg from me, because it used to be that I couldn't stop until the problem was completely solved). But this time it won't be. I've had the carrot of "maybe you'll get to do this in the future!" pulled out from my grasp so many times it doesn't help to think of those possibilities.

I truly fear what I will be like once my current contract is up and I have no work or distractions for the next however long.

#the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #loki #the marvels #marvel #mcu #me #work #fandom #sad #help #life #wga strike #sag-aftra strike #mental health

[redfoxrunt]

So, hey babes. The like, two of you who probably aren't reading the blog anyway, and all of the hot singles in my area. Just feels more like... talking to the potential of someone here than on Dreamwidth, where the follower count is one account. This is gonna be crazy, but I'm fairly sure I already warned you (nonspecific) about that in the header or pinned post or whatnot; it's what you get, right?

Talking about my parents.

I'm in an insanely unique position, being the child that my parents lost. You don't really get perspective like that from most cases, and yet. I also have it on two levels, rather than just one; first I was the child that was estranged from them, stopped returning calls, etc., and then the child that died. I assume they were at my funeral, but maybe not. I honestly can't even tell if, under the circumstances, they would have been notified that I died. How much of it was in the news? How much information are you entitled to if you're not listed as a contact for the person who's dead? Like, the whole thing is a fucking mess, and obviously I wasn't there to witness any of it, so yeah.

It's not because they did a bad job with me (or D, for that matter.) We always got the best in life as far as they could provide, we were middle class and privileged in that our parents loved each other and loved us and practiced good parenting to the degree that two human beings can. Sometimes they were tired, sometimes they were pissed off, sometimes we tired them, but at the end of the day we were always loved, and that's not something you can take for granted in life. I guess that's part of the problem, though, like - as shitty and entitled as that sounds. Because after Danny died, it was like... the illusion shattered. I spent weeks back home after, because I couldn't exist in my own skin with what had happened and what I'd seen and what I couldn't understand or put into words or any of it, and the child part of me was like... when things are scary and don't make sense, you go home. Real home, not your flat where you're all alone and all the sounds from outside freak you out like you've never heard your neighbours exist before. And the reality check was when none of that helped. My parents didn't come to my bedroom (guest bedroom; they'd repurposed the house since we moved out, like normal people tend to do) for more than to let me know dinner's served or to ask me if I wanted to go out for a little while. And when I didn't, that was all. The realisation that that was all they could do, that no amount of me crying would have them bring my brother back, it killed something in me that I didn't even know I'd had before then. I realised that I can't go home because home isn't this magical safe space where everything will be alright, even though they'd taught me that as a kid. Home had always been the magical place where you go to make everything better, but after D's death, after the funeral, it felt just as fake as - you know? Like a staged play. Nothing in it was real anymore, everything I'd been taught was a lie, and the world is a shitty, horrible, fucked up place that doesn't care about you or your loss or your grief or your pleas. And your parents are just people. And I guess I hated them for it, because they'd lied to me that they were something omnipotent when all along they were just people, just like me, just as powerless and unable to change anything that had happened or would happen next or ever. Blowing on a bruise never did fuck all to heal it. It's all a fucking lie.

So, I don't know how much anybody else knows about what I did after that, I have a really skewed idea of how much of that is "known" and how much of it I just think should be known, but once I got back on my feet, I was vengeful as fuck and not thinking straight. Part of my revenge was to cut my parents off. Stop answering calls, one word text messages if I needed to reply to something, and when they did what I was clearly asking them to do which was leave me the fuck alone and stop trying to poke their noses into my life, I saw that as further proof that I was right to be angry at them for... failing me, or Danny, or something. For not being fucking wizards.

So that's child loss on child loss for them. I don't recall really thinking about it much at the time. I don't think I was thinking much in general, period, it's just - every time they'd contact me, I'd get this surge like heartburn but in my veins and get this urge to chuck my fucking phone at a wall or out the window. Like fuck off from my life, stop reminding me of everything that's wrong, stop trying to approach me like I'm being unreasonable, because what I feel and how I'm acting is the most reasonable thing in the world. "Tim you need help" just reinforces that there's no help to be had and I'm in this shit alone and other people just make it worse because when I look at them, I know they're the same as me. Nobody can do anything about anything. And it's the sense of powerlessness that I can't take, right? That feeling that we're all just lying to ourselves and each other about having control.

I don't have the energy or interest to go into the rest of that story. There isn't much to talk about in terms of my parents anyway, since I'd cut them off. But it's a sore subject to talk about, like most things, when we try to approach it with D here. When I'm not ignoring he exists to begin with because I just fucking cannot and what am I even supposed to do with any of this, it's still like we're mostly making small-talk about subjects that barely matter while maybe tapping the ice on shit we really need to be talking about with a thin stick, because that's all the ice can take. Diving into child memorial pages, child loss blogs, etc. was both accidental and the bravest and most direct thing we've done so far to address any of it. Felt good to do it together, and just not say a thing while at it. Just experience that side by side and know that he's feeling what I'm feeling and thinking what I'm thinking and that's enough for now. He's joked that maybe it's in the genes for us, the not being able to address things, not wanting to talk. He's better at it than I am, though. At least he tries. I don't know if I'm trying or if I'm just being led along like a blind ass, but either way, it's things we've got to get to if I ever want to feel... less like shit again, I guess. It's fucked trying to do this without a proper therapist but then again talking to a therapist didn't really work the first time around, and now we don't have one to go to. But yeah, reading through all of that was soothing in some sense, which is also fucked up. It's feelings that I haven't gotten to yet. Something about like, maybe I did matter a little after all. Maybe I and my life were beautiful to them. Maybe they saw me like that, too. I don't know. All I feel most days is a failure, or burden, or just not good enough for anybody. So... yeah. Guess that's pretty much all.

#brave boy blogging tonight in this house and tagging this as #tim stoker #in case literally anybody out there cares to read about this. #I'm just an imaginary guy from the void don't mind me in your tags. #grief #personal #explain? explain what? no I won't.

[dragon-in-the-mountains]

Weird question: Feel free to ignore. I can't tell the difference between kin and having really strong feelings or relating strongly to a creature. I guess my thought process for irl creatures is perhaps our souls are similar? that's why we fit? but when it comes to like. fiction things. I don't believe i ever lived that life because its fiction, a work from someone's head. But I still have a connection. Some people consider it kin? but I also don't want to step on others toes. I've been using 'kin for fun' to explain the feeling because i can't actually pin down where those feelings come from but kin is all I've found. Does that mean I'm still stepping in somewhere I do belong? I just keep trying to find something that fits, and nothing does.

So I am fictionkin with a few different kintypes. I have one that is a character from a fangame of an obscure game (I don't bother to talk about this kintype cuz just in case the creator or their friends/people who know them come across my posts, I don't want them uncomfortable with it cuz I don't know their stance on these things) and I am fictional species (Light fury, tapu koko, ect).

I have a very firm belief in the 'multi-verse' in the sense that there are infinite universes. Infinite possibilities, infinite ways the universe is set up and works. Infinite. Eventually, one of these universes would have to have light furies, or singetails, or unicorns, or a particular fictional character, or whatever. I don't state this as an absolute truth or anything, but this is just my own belief of higher things that we just don't and probably will never understand. So if something is fiction in this universe, who's to say it isn't real in another? But of course, I don't know your own views on things like this, so I can't say on your behalf.

As for stepping on toes, as someone who is fictionkin, I can say that the fact that you are conscious and caring enough to worry about invading spaces that you may not "belong" in or "stepping on toes" is good enough for me to see that you take this seriously.

These feelings sadly can't be explained by anyone except the feeler and understanding these things takes time and patience. Feel yourself out with what's been rolling around in your head and asks yourself questions. Challenge yourself, look at yourself from different perspectives, and of course, be gentle with yourself. Understand that these kinds of roads are slow and winding, so you need to give yourself time and attention to traverse down this road in a positive light. Not sure if this fully answers your question or if it helps at all, but if it does, be sure allow yourself to have some breathing room. There's nothing wrong with not squeezing into a little box that might not be your fit.

#otherkin #fictionkin

[bookwyrminspiration]

I was looking through your masterpost--specifically the side-character analysis--for research purposes, since you have been dubbed the God of Canon (/lh) and I know it hasn't been updated in a bit.

However, searching through your tags I haven't seen any specific post about Edaline. She's not integral to the plot, and isn't really as interesting as Grady, but I feel she deserves some love nonetheless.

So, Quil, how do you feel about Edaline Ruewen, and her overall arc in the series? /gen

Ah yes, God of Canon, a totally normal thing to be called. Though just a quick heads up you can actually see when I've last updated the masterposts because it's written on my pinned post! It had been updated just a few days before you sent this, though I still don't have anything about Edaline.

I hold an incredible amount of love for Edaline Ruewen. She's wonderful and deserves more attention than she gets in the series. Similar to Grady, she's also learned to cope with an incredible amount of grief and learned from her past and from her actions.

(I'll save your dashes with a cut now !!)

She went through such a tremendous change, going from nervous to have Sophie in her life and fixated on her lost daughter, to an open and loving person who can acknowledge the impact Jolie's death has had on her but knows that she's more useful and happier when she's active in her life and fighting for what she believes in. Her wallowing doesn't do Jolie any good, but her supporting Sophie and being active in her life and not rejecting all the Black Swan stuff works toward what Jolie wanted.

I think one of the most clear examples of her change is in Exile, when she decides to finally let go of Jolie's old room and convert it into something productive. She saw how Della clung to every piece of Alden like it would bring him back, and it allowed her to reflect on her own reactions and how she held on to pieces of Jolie, how it wasn't helping her process her grief and move forward. She had plans to have it done in like a week or something, I don't remember exactly how long but it was quick! And this is all coming from the person just one book ago who slept in Jolie's room for comfort. Everything went from entirely untouched to let go of, and that's a tremendous change. It wasn't even spurred on by someone else reaching out to her in concern, this was her own personal reflection brought on by grief in someone else's life. That's an impressive amount of self awareness, control, and understanding towards herself.

She's so incredibly kind, and I think it's because she knows how cruel the world can be. Remember those times she slept in bed with Sophie? The world has taken so much from her, it'd be understandable if she reacted with rage and hurt and pushed people away--and she did push people away for a while, and she'll probably never be as social as she was before, but she instead responded with kindness. She cares for the people in her life and allows herself to love and be loved by them. The empathy she has is wonderful, and it allows her to stand up for what she believes. The people in her life give her strength, and she gives them some in return. I love that about her. She pays attention--like when Sophie asked for slumberberry tea but Edaline brought another option just in case because she knows Sophie. Little things like that are so important

One of the other things I always think of when Edaline is brought up is her attitude towards the love triangle. She's so sweet and open about it and wants the best for Sophie, and trusts Sophie to make the right decisions for her. Grady's more protective and has opinions about what will be best for her (coming from a good place), but Edaline has that support from a distance thing down. She thinks its cute, is there for Sophie to answer questions and support her when things don't go well, and I love that kind of approach!! Grady's protectiveness is entertaining at times, but not necessarily something I'd want to experience. Edaline on the other hand, while she can be a little embarrassing (affectionate) at times, feels like an approach you'd be comfortable with in real life.

So my overall opinion of her and her arc is that I'm extremely impressed with how she's dealt with her situation and the awareness she exercises.

She's fun and teasing at times, but to get through what she has requires incredible strength emotionally and mentally. She may not look like the kind of person who could ride a dinosaur, but she is and she takes that confidence into everything she does now. Jolie's death will always hurt, but it won't stop her from living and fighting for her family and for what she believes in.

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #edaline ruewen #kotlc character analysis #nonsie #the thing about her is that I love her #she is so gentle. and kind. and strong #to the people who deserve it #but once you mess with her or the people she cares about she's fierce and outspoken and opinionated #an excellent pairing I think #she is simply. love #long post

[follower-of-odin]

24, nearly 25. Cis white guy. Bi, but you wouldn't know it from looking at me. Mostly into women. Taken; sorry, but not sorry, as my partner is lovely, and I cherish them. New Uncle. I'm still living with family... there's a long story behind that .

I have been Heathen for... almost 10 years. That amazes even me. Some of those years, I was still officially a member of the Mormon church, only because, as the son of a living mormon returned missionary, and a dead pioneer mormon mom, I was sure I wouldn't be allowed to officially leave. My ex-mormon background is a little more complex than that, but I figured it's worth mentioning.

I'm very depressed, and, though a believing Heathen, I have not been a practicing one for a while. This is in large part due to still being dependent, and, therefore, unable to provide the offerings to them that I wish I could. Depression is also a contributing factor, as well as the settler colonial situation I live in... as a settler... on land where these gods were not previously worshiped. The gods, at least whichever gods from whichever pantheon were responsible for this corner of the world, made what is available here, and therefore, whatever grows here is already theirs. Just as I can't give my neighbor the house he already owns, I feel I can't give an offering of, say, strawberries, to the beings who created and own the strawberries. And if it doesn't belong to the gods, it rightfully belongs to the native inhabitants. Yes, I was born here, and it's all that I know, to whatever extent I know it, but that isn't what I mean, and anybody reading this already knew that. An offering is a sacrifice, and it isn't a sacrifice if it isn't something which you personally owned, had the right to, and gave up. Besides, how much dominion do they have here? The land spirits are totally different, and my ancestors most likely owned slaves, Indigenous and maybe even Black, so I'm not worshiping my ancestors, at least not the biological ones. Maybe my mother, rest her soul, but that's it. Can't believe I used to think the Mormons didn't own slaves. "They were racist, yeah, but they fucked off from the US, so I guess they must have been so racist, they didn't even want to own slaves, because then they'd have to be around non-white people." Nope. Not the case. They brought slaves into Utah, and bought Paiute slaves in there, many of whom were children. Horrifying shit.

Perhaps I'm hard on myself; I've often heard that. On the other hand...well, really, I don't know if there's a way out of that. It's largely, though not exclusively, other white people, and/or white settlers, who have told me I'm too hard on myself when it comes to the intersection of colonialism and modern Heathenry. Some people of color have also told me this, but, though people of color, they aren't Indigenous to this land. On the other hand, I don't expect, don't have the right, to seek absolution from an Indigenous person. They're working hard just to survive after centuries of Hell, the last thing any of them need or want is to coddle some white guy who thinks he's so different from the others just because, though culturally Christian, he seeks to de-Christianize himself, by adopting yet another European* tradition. Yeah, real special there, dude, you're so different and non-hegemonic, hanging around in a basement like a recluse, waiting for your family to stabilize so you can finally live your life and maybe make a small difference someday, or so you keep telling yourself. Although I suppose the guilt is, paradoxically, to help me feel better. I'm not helping anyone, but I feel guilty and angry at myself over that, and I figure that at least someone who is guilty by inaction is going through mental and emotional pain, so some small measure of justice is satisfied. Nobody is helped, but a bad person hurts. If that is justice, that's some poor justice.

I was going to make this a short pinned introduction post, to explain why I sound this way, but this isn't short, is more than an introduction, and I won't pin it. Against my better judgment, I'll still post this.

*Yes, I'm fully aware that Judaea, the homeland of Yeshua, is in Western Asia. Let's be real, though - it isn't Assyrian Christianity, or Coptic Christianity, or Armenian Christianity, or other forms of Christianity that have reigned in Europe for almost 2 millennia, which gave birth to religions such as Roman Christianity, Lutheranism, or Mormonism. Those last 3 derive from the European Christian traditions, which are dominant in the US. This is why I described Christianity as European; the totality of Christianity isn't European, Christianity isn't inherently European, but the dominant forms of Christianity in my country are European.

[redheadbigshoes]

Hey Steph! As always, I'm loving the content on your blog. I know I talk a lot about being a liberal, queer, neurodivergent person in an unaccepting space, my evangelical college.

I'm not kidding when I say I'm forced to go there. My parent told me that if I transferred, I would have to come up with the tuition on my own, and that my learning disability would prevent me from being successful anywhere else. The second part isn't true but my parent is obsessed with me going there for some reason.

Anyway, since I really appreciate all your advice and all your insights on living in this heteronormative world as a femme lesbian, I wanted to ask if there was something you could help me with. I am "straight-passing" (I hate that term but I don't know how else to describe it), so people feel permission to say the most homophobic shit in front of me. It can be anything from shitty jokes made at an LGBTQ person's expense to arguments defending oppressive legislation such as the "Don't Say Gay" Bill.

I get sick of having to hide at my college and pretend to be a conservative Christian straight girl. I do have a few sapphic friends at the school as well as a few allies, but I am terrified of being fully "out" in practice, even if I want to in theory. I want to wear some pride things on my backpack (my girlfriend got me a "Sapphic Society" patch and I got a lesbian pride pin), and the people at my school will probably have no idea what it means, but I'm not sure.

Is it worth it to be out in an unaccepting place even if that means I might be bullied for it? I know being out as a lesbian won't necessarily stop all people from saying homophobic shit, but it would definitely keep some people from feeling comfortable saying those things around me. I just want to be me even if people won't like me for who I am.

Sorry for this long post, lmao. I was just wondering what your thoughts were! Happy pride!

Hey! I’m glad you like it!

I think wearing a pride pin could help you get recognized by other queer people in your college. I’d just make sure to wear a discreet one, something that homophobes wouldn’t know. I guess the lesbian pride flag is a good option because usually people don’t know the meaning of it (especially cishets).

From what you said maybe not coming out to everyone is for the best in your case. I personally don’t think it’s safe trying to come out to people you know are homophobic.

Some people might think it’s worth it. If I was in a similar situation I probably wouldn’t come out, I’d be too scared for my safety. But if you think it would make you feel better than staying in the closet, you should do it.

There’s also other ways of stopping people to say homophobic shit close to you. I don’t know how comfortable you are trying to call them out for their homophobia, but if you choose to not come out to everyone saying something whenever someone is homophobic might show them you don’t agree with their mindset and it could make them say less homophobic things near you.

#stephanie answers #dumbcircusbitch #lgbt #long post

[systemofcryptids]

quick about for a pinned post I suppose.

collective he/it, 19. known alter count: 5(?). we often do not sign off. we do not have a hard and fast system name. diagnosed DID. made this sideblog to keep system shit off my main.

none of us are human, just FYI. various flavors of xenogender and nonhuman.

quick n fast syscourse stances (though I'm not sure what is or isn't syscourse):

- endo neutral (they probly exist? i have no say in what you are experiencing. not my place. I know good endos and bad endos, just like any other group. not really my business. I don't care. I agree with some pro *and* anti endo points, depending on who's fronting and what the topic is. if my stance seems to move, that's why - I'm not firmly on either side)

- pro psych (in most cases! in some cases it's shit. I had a really traumatizing experience with a therapist that put up really bad dissociative barriers around therapy. I'm becoming a therapist to help the people I can, because I have benefitted as well)

my stances will shift if I'm given evidence that's compelling, because I do my best every day to be as rational as I can be. my core belief is that everyone is doing their best to just... be, and to judge people too harshly for that is a fallacy - i won't hold any opinions of yours i disagree with against you as a person. even harmful beliefs need to be understood to be tamed.

- pro self dx (with the proper time and research, though I don't do it myself; all of mine are professionally diagnosed if I don't say otherwise)

- on alter race: complex. (I am white, don't feel like it's my place to decide, but generally i think claiming to have experiences you don't is a bad idea. could be some exceptions maybe??? but not my place)

- on alter age: doesn't exist. (we all feel ageless, or in a vague maturity range. mental age as a concept has a tendency to be ableist. body age matters most, but how you feel personally is also very important, though that's more maturity than age. either way not really my business.)

- ask me abt more cuz I can't think of any rn

unless we're talking about, say, death threats. yeah, I'm not gonna defend you for those. get your shit in order if you're doing that. my ideal internet is civil - you can be at each other's throats metaphorically, but if anyone on either side of any issue is getting into doxxing and threats, no matter how noble the cause, you need to take a breather. i won't do it to you - don't do it to me, or anyone else. we are all people behind the screen with our own concerns.

(the above includes general harassment as well. do not harass people. I will bite you. you can be mean, sure, nobody is gonna shoot you, but if you harass someone I will bite you.)

I'll probly do some syscourse. I'll probly talk about general system stuff. I'm making an 18+ DIDOSDD server that may or may not have a section for endos, I'm still deciding that one (and I'm open to arguments from either side on why I should or shouldn't).

have a good timezone.

- this was mostly written by neo, current host, he/it - an example of a sign off we probly won't do all too often, lol, because sometimes we get real blurry and confused. this one has elements of c and s in it, for example - I didn't write it alone.