Dissolve with Ink, Into the Dark.
On a night drive with the windows rolled down, hand brazen with the wind, music swelling the air between us, you told me ribbons of lights are lost spectres and the oncoming traffic are our angels taking away the will to die. Shortly after which, the angel crawled into the seat besides me, kissed my forehead and told me that, I made you up inside my head to save me from myself, just like everything else.
You may not be around to hear or appreciate my words and poetry but it doesn’t mean my love is not understood.
Me: *needs to catch up on all my favorite SwanFire authors’ fanfics* “Eh... I just don’t feel like it these days.”
Also me: *READS A BIG AU ABOUT ARTHUR TUDOR SURVIVING AND HAVING TO PREVENT A WAR THAT HIS LITTLE BROTHER IS TRYING TO CREATE IN ORDER TO STEAL THE THRONE*
Hmm, any one notice this?
So a while ago I wrote a meta about how Stede isn’t actually oblivious to his feelings towards Ed, but I was really thinking about it at work today and honestly… Ed kind of is.
I know the running joke of Stede effortlessly being the most objectively romantic human on planet earth by sheer accident is hilarious. But did you ever notice that when Stede is actually trying to be loving on purpose, Ed Doesn’t Get it?
We can assume Stede started the ritual of them eating breakfast together cause it’s his quarters, and the intimacy of that clearly went right over Ed’s head cause he let Jack invade it without a second thought. Like Ed, honey, did the implications of a man wanting to eat breakfast with you and only you every single day seriously never register to you??
Stede plans a whole day together “treasure hunting” when he wants Ed to stay. The whole “you wear fine things well” business was pure oblivion on Stede’s part, this is him flirting. And he’s trying so hilariously hard to make this ridiculous idea work, but Ed still doesn’t get the gist. Luckily Lucius I-need-a-fucking-raise- Spriggs is here to save the day and clue Ed in to what at least this particular situation means.
…Which makes the gears clearly turning in Ed’s head during this moment absolutely precious and hilarious. Now he knows what’s going on. He sees that Stede’s excited to spend time with him in particular just like Saint Augustine, I mean a bunch more people will be also there this time, but still! And I’m sorry but the brief look of pure “Ed Exe has stopped working” when apparently the first thing Stede could think of was swimming is criminally underrated.
And look at that fond little smile it turns into, Ed knows full well that man has some cute little swim costume squirreled away somewhere ready to go after pulling an entire safari outfit out of his ass last episode 😂
Ok ok enough teasing Ed, back to the point.
We know Ed’s love language is physical touch. Stede’s is less talked about but I firmly believe his is quality time. Just like Ed is touch starved, Stede is shown to desperately want someone to spend time with. But that’s not just the way he receives love, it’s how he gives love too.
His way of saying I love you is to say “That’s me.” He’s the one who breaks the lock on his own bathroom door. He’ll be the one to show up at Ed’s restaurant and look at all the little Knick knacks in his gift shop on a slow day. Stede wants to be the one who’s there, who makes sure Ed doesn’t have to cry by himself, or feel silly about something he loves and put a lot of work into. He doesn’t ever want someone so deeply precious to him feeling as unwanted and isolated as he did back in Barabados.
And Ed ends up missing so many of these intentional gestures. Which isn’t a BAD thing, I just love all the little intricacies of two people with completely different love languages somehow making it work anyway. I think that’s part of why the bathtub scene felt so profoundly intimate, because their love languages work seamlessly together and they end up emotionally on the same page.
a/n: this is one is close to my heart.
in which y/n overhears harry saying something rude about her.
warnings; foul language, angst, arguments, tears, apologies.
too exited to remember to let harry know of her presence in the house, she took of her shoes by the door in a rush, wanting to tell harry all about her promotion at the hospital as soon as possible.
now thinking back at it, y/n wished that maybe she did call for him. would’ve saved her from a lot of heartache.
reaching the kitchen, she heard voices of harry and his friends. and in no way did y/n intend to eavesdrop, but when she heard her name come up, she couldn’t help herself.
“where’s y/n, by the way?”
harry sighs at the mention of her name, “she’d probably be here in about,” he checks his watch on his wrist, “5 minutes. better enjoy them while they last, yeah?” he chuckles. “can’t remember the last time i had even a minute to myself with her around.”
“are you saying she’s clingy?”
“yeah, guess so. she’s too clingy.”
y/n’s exited grin was now replaced with a sad frown.
“but you said that you loved her.”
“i do love her. she can jus’ be a little much, sometimes.” y/n found her heart breaking more and more listening to each word. “constantly needs reassurance, always so needy ‘n clingy, and god if i even do so much as look at another woman. i just need some space sometimes.”
y/n decided not to listen to any more of the still going on conversation between him and his friends. she could still hear the muffled conversation, but turned her focus to everything, but his voice.
clingy. needy. jealous. his words taunted her. they only ever hurt her as much as they did, because somewhere in her heart she knew it was true.
y/n was a fairly affectionate person, but nobody ever took it as a bad characteristic of hers. her friends, her family, her patients, they always said that they appreciated that about her, and so did harry.
but it seemed to her that perhaps he had started to change his mind.
her thoughts went back to all of the affection and intimacy they shared. was it all fake? the sole thought of that was enough to make her heart ache even more than it already was.
wiping a tear that slipped down her left cheek, y/n accidentally ended up knocking down the small box of jewellery harry kept by the table. immediately crouching down to pick up the rings.
the sudden noise catching his attention, “y/n? baby, is that you?”
she stoped herself from cringing at the nickname.
“uh yes. it’s me.” she clears her throat before replying.
he gets up from his seat, waking over to her, placing his hand on her hip, leaning in to give her a “hello”-kiss.
she didn’t reject the kiss since his friends were watching, and she didn’t want to make a scene in front of them.
the usual small yet passionate, loving kiss with her putting her hand on his jaw and pulling him in for a hug afterwards was cut down to what was barely a peck, causing harry’s eyebrows to furrow.
“hey y/n!” louis called, followed by all the other boys greeting her.
“come on over here! your favourite movie is on.” niall patted the empty space on the couch next to him.
“as much as i’d love that, i just received a call from the hospital in the car, they need me back there. a patient of mine went into labour.” y/n lied. “i just came in to pick up a few things, and then i’ll be heading back out.”
“but you just came back from work.” harry argued.
y/n chose to pretend as she didn’t hear him.
“come back soon, alright? drive safely.” liam said. he cared about y/n deeply, she was not only one of his best friends, but easily one of the most precious people he’d even known.
she smiled softly, “i will.”
reaching the door, she tried her best to ignore harry and the disappointed, pouty look he was giving her.
just as she was about to walk out, she felt her arm being tugged, pulling her back in.
putting a hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer to him, their bodies pressed together.
“want to fucking sue the department for keeping my girlfriend away from me” he whispers, with a small smirk, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
y/n gulps, avoiding eye-contact knowing well enough she’d let her guard down as soon as she meets his gaze.
she just nods in reply, trying to escape his grip around her, and leave as soon as possible.
as the door shut, it left this foreign hurt feeling in harry’s stomach.
his y/n never left without saying that she loves him.
but harry quickly shrugged it off, telling himself that it was only that she was in a rush to get to the hospital.
reaching back home at about 2 in the morning, after what could only be called a torturous car ride of self-doubt, anxious thoughts, and quite a few tears, y/n was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep.
she flinched, startled by the sudden noise.
“god.” she whispers, putting a hand to her chest.
“where were you?” he crosses his arms. “you didn’t even answer any of my calls, i was worried sick. it’s 2 in the morning, for fuck’s sake, y/n!”
“i was at the hospital, i had already told you.”
“were you, now?” his lips pressed into a thin line.
“you know what, harry? i really don’t feel like doing this right now. you said it, it’s 2 in the morning, alright? i just want to go to bed already.” she walks past him to go upstairs.
she reaches the room, quickly picking out a change of clothes and heading to the restroom.
closing the door behind her, she placed her temple on the back of it and sighed sadly.
she hated lying to him.
trying to shake off the disgusting feeling of guilt settled in her stomach, she splashes water on her face, rushing through the rest of her nightly routine.
after changing into a more comfortable set of clothes, she opened the door, to find him sitting up on the bed, with his back resting against the headboard.
she kept her gaze fixed on the floor, avoiding any sort of eye contact, before getting into her side of the bed.
she tried to keep as much distance with him as she possibly could.
his words had hurt her deeply.
and as much as she knew what she was doing was immature and a bit childish, she couldn’t bring herself to actually speak to him about it.
whether it was the fear of loosing him for good, or anxiety of what the outcome of the situation might be, she simply could not do it.
harry looked at her seemingly sleeping figure. her back turned to him.
never once did y/n ever do that.
going to sleep without saying goodnight, or wrapping her arms around him, placing her head on his chest, saying that she found comfort being able to feel his heartbeat.
and if all that wasn’t enough to hurt him, he noticed the space on the bed between the two.
she is just tired. it is almost 2:30 in the morning, harry. he consoled himself.
hesitantly moving himself closer to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, her back pressed against his chest.
“good night, lovie.” he said in a whisper so low that he could barely hear himself.
y/n had taken picked up more shifts at the hospital, yes, but it was only partly because of what was going on between her and harry. her promotion was big, they had made her the junior head of the her department. she was the youngest person to ever be. her whole team was extremely proud of her, especially her tía, who, by the way, knew immediately that something was wrong when she came back the next day.
y/n wasn’t actually related to tía, but she insisted on her to call her that since she always saw a reflection of her kids in her.
tía’s kids all lived in foreign countries, and only ever met her once or twice an year, and so was the case with y/n and her family.
tía had been a nurse at the hospital far before y/n was even a resident.
she took care of y/n as her own daughter and loved her unconditionally.
so, when y/n came to the hospital the next day, and despite the fact that she had a smile on her face, greeting all the nurses and staff, tía could easily tell that she wasn’t actually fine.
“i know how to read your face damn well, y/l/n. this little smile of your’s? not a single bit genuine. now tell me what’s wrong so your tía can fix it for you.” she replied, when y/n asked her just how does she always do that.
“i don’t really think you can fix this one, tía.” she sighs.
“try me.” she said, taking a seat next to y/n.
“well, let’s see, my boyfriend thinks i’m clingy.”
“which boyfriend? that sweet boy harry?”
“no, tía, the other one. you know, out of the seven.” she says in a sarcastic tone, a small smirk playing on her lips.
in the reply to which, tía threw the couch pillow on her. “don’t you get all sarcastic on me.”
she chuckled lightly, shaking her head a bit, before she told her everything that went down.
“oh, my baby!~” she quickly takes y/n in her arms, holding her close. “you tell me, you want me to give that boy a piece of mind?”
she lets out a breathy laugh, despite the tears that welled up in her eyes. “god, no. i’m pretty sure he still has a will to live.”
tía playfully hits her back before letting out a small chuckle herself.
“after this shift of our’s in done, you’re coming home with me, alright? i’ll make you that pasta you really like, and we’ll watch some movies, and eat icecream!”
she lets a laugh through her nose, “i’d really like that.” her voice muffled from her cheek being so tightly pressed up against tía’s chest. “thank you, tía. i love you.”
“i love you too, baby.” she presses a kiss to her head.
“tía, he has called me twice, and you haven’t let me pick up once. he knows when my shift ends.”
“he doesn’t deserve it. he ‘wanted space for once’, so he’ll get it.” she says, cutting up the vegetables needed to make y/n’s favourite pasta. “that fucker.” she adds in a whisper.
“tía! i heard that!”
“yeah? well, nobody talks like that about my baby!” she scoffs, “i hate him.”
“you hate him?” y/n laughs.
“okay, can i at least text him to let him know i’m here?”
tía takes a deep breath, “fine, but just one.” she says in a strict tone.
“yes, ma’am.” she chuckles, pulling out her phone from her back pocket.
unlocking it, y/n feels a certain hesitance. the same as she did speaking to him or being around him since the incident. it was unsettling.
“at tía’s for tonight. please don’t stay waiting up for me, could take me a while.”
she typed before clicking sent.
she sighed, feeling a sense of sadness.
and guilt, for some reason.
seeing y/n’s text made his heart break a little.
he was looking forward to seeing her tonight and perhaps, even cooking dinner for her.
y/n has been far too distant. avoiding speaking to him unless its necessary, absolutely no sort of affectionate unless he was the one who initiated it, avoided saying ‘i love you’, hell, she didn’t even call him any of those cute nicknames anymore. only ever called him harry.
he missed his y/n. he missed her voice, he missed her smile, he missed her presence, and most of all, he missed her touch.
her sweet little pecks that she’d place on his cheek out of nowhere. her slow, passionate kisses that’d make his head go dizzy. her hugs that’d be so full of love and comfort.
not actually being able to have it made harry realise just how much even her smallest of gestures meant to him.
those times he’d bend down to pick something up and she’d cover the corner of the table so it wouldn’t hurt him getting up, those times when she immediately knew when something bothered harry even just a little bit. how she’d leave him cute messages on post-it notes around the house.
god, did he miss her.
he felt so empty. her affection, her smile, her presence, all that is what made harry feel alive.
over time, and lots and lots of overthinking, harry had come to the conclusion that y/n’s distant behaviour, her lack of affection, the overall change in her personality was all a sign of the fact that she had fallen out of love with him.
perhaps, even found someone else of her liking.
so, when she came back home from her “long shift at the hospital”, with surprised eyes after noticing his presence, he decided to face the music and have a real conversation about it.
not doing that only ever broke him even more.
“weren’t you at the studio?” her words were like a knife to his chest.
“well, i was, but i came back a bit early, since we need to talk.”
“we do?” she takes a seat on the table with him, putting her keys on the side-table next to the door on the way. “something wrong?”
he gulps, “i know about him.”
y/n’s brows furrow, “who?”
he presses his lips into a thin line. “him, y/n. i know you’re cheating on me.”
her jaw clenches, feeling angered at the unreasonable aligations, “yeah? you got anything to support that?”
“you’ve been awfully distant, you’re away all the time, barely even talk to me, avoid me at all costs, and i can’t remember the last time you said that you loved me.”
“i asked for proof, harry. all this bullshit isn’t proof. give me real proof.” she struggles not to raise her voice.
“i know you weren’t at the fucking hospital that night! the night it all started! the night you came back home at 2 in the morning.” he gets up from his seat, feeling angered by her attitude. she was in the wrong here, not him.
“you want to know where i was that night? i was in my car, driving around, crying my eyes out, because my boyfriend was too busy bitching about me to his friends!” she gets up as well, sharp eyes meeting his.
“cheating on you” she scoffs, irritated.
“y-you heard that?” he asks in disbelief, voice almost as soft as a whisper.
“yeah, i heard that!” she plops back in her seat, huffing in frustration.
harry had barely ever seen her like this. genuinely tempered up, frustrated, irritation getting to the level where she near losing her patience.
he sits down beside her, hesitantly taking her hand in his. “you were never supposed to hear that.”
she doesn’t respond. she doesn’t even do as much as look at him. but harry doesn’t miss the small tear that slid down her cheek.
“i’m sorry, baby. i really am. i-i never intended for this to happen. you were never supposed to hear that. it was just me bullshiting around with the boys, and we had a bit too much to drink. i had no idea i had hurt you this much.” he wipes her cheek, hand still in her’s. “i am so, so sorry, baby. please don’t let this get to us. i didn’t mean a word.”
she finally turns to meet his eyes with her glossy ones. “how am i supposed to know that’s true? how am i supposed to believe it every time you say you love me, it’s not a lie? how am i supposed to live with knowing that my boyfriend may get sick of me at some point, and leave? how’s that fair?”
“in the last two weeks, i felt so empty, like— like a part of me was missing. one that i wasn’t sure if i could ever live without. one that was the only reason i ever wanted to smile, one that was the inspiration to every word i wrote, one that meant to me more than myself. you, y/n y/l/n, are that part. you make me complete. you make me happiest i have ever been. you’re the reason. you’re the reason for everything. if it weren’t for you, i don’t know if i’d be standing in the place that i am in today. everything i am, and everything i ever will be, it all belongs to you, baby. you’re- you’re my y/n.” he fails to blink away the tears that fill his eyes, “i’m nothing without you.”
her chin trembles, “i don’t know, harry. it’s just that hearing you say all those words, it broke me. it was like every doubtful sense of insecurity i had, got confirmed. every single one. that too by the one person i love the most. never did i ever think that you, of all people, would be the one who caused me so much pain. and just now, you were accusing me of cheating on you.” her eyes meet his, “you really think i’d ever do something like that?”
“i thought i lost you, y/n. i thought i lost you forever. and the only explanation that came to mind about your behaviour was that, perhaps you had found someone else of your liking, and to say the least, that broke me. it made me feel so hollow on the inside. the sole day when i heard your receptionist say that you hadn’t been back there since the ‘celebration’,— i think she said?— i could feel my heart break into a million piece. it wasn’t even because of the thought that you might be with somebody else, i wasn’t even thinking of that. just the fact that you felt that you needed to lie to me. that-that you couldn’t stay at your own home because i was there, like you were sick of me.”
“that’s exactly how i felt, harry. that you were sick of me. every hour of the day. except you could only assume that was the case, for me, i heard the man i love actually say it.” she smiled, sadly.
all the pain harry felt in the last few days was absolutely nothing compared to what he felt seeing that look on his love’s face.
with that, harry broke down, falling down on his knees in front of her. sobs taking over his body uncontrollably, hands trembling, tears blurring his vision.
y/n’s eyes widened the sight, immediately kneeling down in front of him, taking his face in her hands.
“shh, harry. it’s alright, darling. i’m right here.” she consoled him, pulling him into her chest.
“i’m so sorry, y/n.” he said between the sobs, holding her tightly.
she put her hand in his hair, scratching lightly, which only encouraged more tears to fall out of his eyes.
there was nothing he missed more than feeling her touch.
her touch was comforting in every sense. the purity and genuine care was obvious when it was felt.
it was what some call a magic touch.
“i’m sorry, baby.” he repeated, feeling a bit calmed down in her arms, yet the tears didn’t seem to stop.
“i know, lovie. i know.” she said, feeling so much pain from seeing him in such a condition. “i need you to take a deep breath for me, can you do that?”
she further guides him through syncrinising his breathing.
once he’s feeling calmed down, he immediately apologises for his sudden outburst.
“you know you don’t have to apologise for that. it’s not something that is in your hands. would you apologise for laughing out loud when you heard something genuinely funny?”
he smiled, looking at her before fixing his gaze onto his lap.
“i really am sorry about everything. i wish i could go back in time and take it back. but at this point, there is nothing i can do. i can’t believe i ruined a relationship that meant so much to me, with my own hands.” he lets out a bitter chuckle.
she reaches for his hand on his knee, “it’s not all ruined yet, we can still work on it.”
his head turns to her almost immediately, eyes lighting up at her words, but then he stops himself.
“no, y/n. you’re right. it’s unfair for you. you’ll be stuck with living with this sense of doubt every day, and no matter what i do, i won’t be able to help it. as selfish as i am, i can’t see you in pain. ever.”
y/n lets out a small laugh through her nose, “just the fact that you said that proves that i’m never going to find someone who loves me even half as much as you do, and that i wouldn’t ever be able to love anyone else either. you made a mistake, harry. we all do at some point.”
“you sure about this?”
“yeah. of course we’ll need to work a lot on our relationship, but yes, i’m sure. i’m in love with you, only you. there’s no one else i want to spend the rest of my life with, and so i want to work on us, so we can grow old together just like we planned, yeah?” harry nods, a smile making its way up to his lips, “and let’s be honest, i don’t think there are many people out there who’re capable of handling my mood swings.”
he lets out a genuine laugh at that. something he hadn’t quite experienced since the last few days.
“glad to hear you finally stop denying on having them.” the two share a chuckle.
harry hesitantly reaches for her cheek, getting on his knees to lean in closer to her lips.
she removes her hand from the carpet underneath them to rest it on the side of his neck gently.
his lips hovering over hers, desperate to fill in the gap.
“is it okay if i?” he spoke against her lips.
she just nodded, feeling just as needy to kiss him.
with that, he gently presses his lips onto hers.
her lips moving against his passionately, with so much love and emotion into the kiss.
harry missed this feeling so much over the last few days.
the feeling of her soft lips against his, feeling her touch on his skin.
the sudden rush inside his body, feeling his heartbeat increase by the second, just as it did the first time he ever kissed her.
but in no way would harry say that he loves y/n the same as he did before. everyday he falls more and more deeply in love with the beautiful, caring, amazing girl he has the pleasure of calling his love.
she could feel him smile as she kissed him.
suddenly, she pulls away, startling harry.
“i’m sorry, i thought it was—“
“no, no! i just realised that i never got a chance to intoduce you to the newest junior head of the obstetrician and gynaecologist department?”
harry’s eyes widen, “do you mean what i think you mean?”
she nods excitedly.
“oh my god, y/n!” he gets up from the floor, picking her up in his arms, spinning her around.
“i’m so proud of you, darling.” he whispers into her neck.
“thank you, baby.” she grins.
“you deserve all of it and so much more—“ he cuts himself off, “wow, we need to celebrate this!”
“oh no, that’s not really necessary.”
“you cannot possibly stop me from doing this.” he kisses her cheek, “now, bye-bye, i have a lot to prepare.”
with that, he runs off leaving an enamoured y/n looking after him with an adoring smile.
that’s when y/n realised that the walls that felt like they were suffocating her just hours ago, seemed to feel like home again.
like the house never had anything to do with it being a home for her, in the first place. it was all their relationship. their relationship made this little house of theirs feel like a home.
— closer, nearer.
summary : the genshin boys’ favourite acts of intimacy to give and receive.
cw : established relationship ; spoilers for scara’s if you squint ; nothing else :)
genre : fluff !!
characters : diluc, thoma, scaramouche, albedo (separate!)
diluc ragnvindr ; a man of protection
giving : in terms of giving, diluc has a wide range of actions that he loves doing for you. be it telling you how much he loves you, or giving you meaningful gifts, he’s always varying the ways he expresses his love. but the one thing he loves most is holding you in his arms, engulfing your body with his warmth.
all he thinks about is how he could protect you- from harm, from evil, and sometimes, from himself. he embraces you to steady himself and make sure you’re safe. as much as you feel his body around yours, he feels your body within his. and he’s happy with that.
receiving : when it comes to receiving, however, diluc can be pretty picky. don’t get me wrong, he treasures everything you do for him. every gift he puts on a pedestal; every touch he feels his skin burn (metaphorically). but when you stroke his luscious red hair and tell him “it’s okay”, or “i’m here”, his heart swells with comfort.
there’s something about feeling protected when he’s always doing the protecting that fills up his heart in a certain way. he feels your fingers pulling through his hair, so gentle and careful. he hears your voice taking the weight of everything off his shoulders. there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.
thoma ; puppy love
giving : thoma loves doing things for you. he dreams of making breakfast for you every morning. he looks forward to preparing romantic dinners for when you come home from work. thoma also loves doing things with you. washing your hair, cleaning the house, massaging each other- you name it, he loves it.
cooking together seems to be his favourite- especially if the kitchen is small. so many opportunities to be close to you; so many excuses to touch you. he loves holding your hand throughout, and if you so happen to be skilled, he loves admiring your prowess and learning from you. in the end, he just wants to be there with you for the little things.
receiving : amongst the little things that thoma wants to be present for is your greetings. when you say “good morning” as his eyes blink the sleep away. or when you whisper “sweet dreams” right as he slithers into dreamland. he loves that your voice is the first and last that he hears for the day.
when you whisper it, he feels special. like that was specifically for him. when you say it aloud, he feels proud. that was definitely for everyone to hear how loving his partner is. and when you accompany it with a kiss, he feels like swooning. if he had a tail, he’d be wagging it by now. he’ll never run out of puppy love.
scaramouche ; speechless
giving : scaramouche is a man of little words. at least with you, he is. he doesn’t show his affection for you- but he doesn’t show his disaffection either, and that tells a lot. there are some things he does that catches you off-guard. one that he does often would be giving you random presents.
it’s not an intimate act per se, but in a relationship where he’s afraid to give you his heart, you could do with his souvenirs instead. your reactions are what he seeks, and he loves seeing you use his gifts however you do. no matter the size of the items, they all seem to convey one thing: “you’re precious to me.”
receiving : scaramouche is a man of little words. that’s why it’s the things you do that get his face all red and warm. like when you hold his hand, slipping your fingers in between his- he sees you, and he feels you, and he feels love. or when you lean on his shoulder on relaxing days. he loves the weight of your head and the scent of your hair, and he loves that your arm loops around his.
he may not return the favour- leaving his limbs limp when you go to hold them, but as long as he doesn’t pull away, he’ll warm up to you in due time. trust is hard when you have no “heart”, so you show him that you do have a heart, and that you’re willing to share it. with him, and him only.
albedo ; devotion and inspiration
giving : there are many things albedo knows. he knows how to be devoted. he knows what inspiration looks like. and he knows that you are the centrepiece of his devotion and inspiration. his favourite sort of intimacy manifests in simply looking. observing. he sees you and he takes you in.
sometimes, it’s for sketches. he studies your face, your figure, and your behaviour, to get the perfect sketch of the partner he loves. sometimes, it’s for research. which part of you does he love the most? you propose. his hypothesis? your eyes. when he looks into your eyes, he sees galaxies, space enough to pour all his love into. and he wants to keep exploring that.
receiving : with you, he doesn’t expect the same kind of devotion back. everyone is different- and that’s exactly why he chose you. you’re different, enough that he wants to study you. so let him. spare him your time- be it to inspire his art, or subject yourself to his research, or even just to wind down.
your time seems to be more precious to him than it is to you. to know that you choose him when he chooses you is a blessing he doesn’t count enough. he notices when you are with him, and he notices when you’re present with him. when you observe his actions and comment on it- he notices it all. you are, after all, his object of devotion.
Nothing To Be Embarrassed About
(Steven x f!reader)
One shot (word count: 1.5k-ish)
SMUT WARNING (NSFW/18+/minors dni!!)🚨: you make Steven cum in his pants; dry humping; fingering
Summary: the smut warning says it all.
A/N: I just want to preface that writing smut is not my forte (I actually despise writing it most of the time), but I felt inspired, and I tried my best. Hopefully it’s alright!
You and Steven stumbled through the front door of your flat, tipsy from one too many glasses of wine.
“Make yourself comfortable,” you instructed Steven. “Any tea, coffee, water?”
Steven took a seat on your sofa. “I’ll take some tea actually. Thank you.”
You filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stove to boil, then made your way to the couch to join Steven.
You stared at him with complete fascination, and he chuckled at your starry gaze.
Surprisingly, up until two days ago when Steven asked you out, you thought that your crush on him was entirely unrequited. And apparently, Steven felt the same way about you, for he was just as shocked when you agreed to go out with him.
The truth was, you had the biggest crush on him ever since you started working at the museum; It was the kind of crush that made you feel like you were back in high school — all sweet and butterflies.
You rested your head on his shoulder, and sighed. “I can’t help but feel mad that we didn’t go out sooner.”
Steven let out another small laugh.
You lifted your head, and looked up at him. “No, I’m serious. I should have asked you out a long time ago… I had a crush on you from the moment I met you.” You poked his chest with your finger.
“Bloody same here, but I - I dunno, I guess I just never expected someone like you to go for me.” He looked a little flustered, then he shrugged.
“So let me get this straight. I could have asked you out right then and there - the very first time we met, and you would have said yes?
He nodded fervently, “A thousand times.”
You pretended to get up. “I’ll be right back, I gotta go kick myself.”
Steven laughed his precious little laugh again. There were few things in your world that you loved more than his laugh or being on the receiving end of his smile — by far the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen.
You ran your hand through his brunette curls (you’d been dying to do that for the longest time). “Steven?”
He hummed in response.
“I think you forgot something at the restaurant.”
His eyebrows suddenly furrowed in confusion and he felt his pockets, thinking that he might’ve forgotten his wallet or phone or keys. “What have I forgotten?” he asked incredulously.
You brought your face closer to his, and spoke into his ear. “You forgot to kiss me.”
He quirked his head to face you, his sweet brown eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. “Y-you want me to kiss you?”
You nodded, coyly biting your lip.
Steven wasn’t about to admit it to you, but he wasn’t the most experienced in the physical intimacy department. His counterpart Marc, however, was no stranger to getting between the sheets. Steven reasoned that if Marc was experienced then so was he technically, well at least his body was. Muscle memory was a thing, right?
Steven tucked your hair behind your ear (a move he had mesmerized from watching too many romance films), and left his hand at the nape of your neck.
You could see the blush on his cheeks, and you felt the same warmth gather in yours.
He gently brought his lips to yours, and he almost immediately let out a soft moan. The fact that he was already worked up made your heart race. Your kiss was a prolonged peck more than anything, but it was sweet nonetheless. You pulled away to steal a glance at him — the poor thing looked so tense.
“You alright?” you asked gently, running your hand through his hair again.
He nodded. “I’m aces, really.”
“Good,” you gave him a reassuring smile, then brought your lips back to his “relax,” you said without breaking mouth-to-mouth contact.
Each time your lips parted, they were drawn back together like magnets — with each parting kiss, the force that brought four lips back together only grew, and you two soon fell into the perfect rhythm.
You teasingly bit Steven’s bottom lip when you pulled away from him the following time, and he whined desperately — he made you wet.
“Touch me,” you told him breathlessly as you grabbed his hands and placed them on your breasts. You then proceeded to climb on top of him, straddling his pelvis.
Your breath hitched completely, and Steven choked out a curse when you sat on his lap — he was hard. Painfully hard.
You ran your hand up his thigh, then rubbed your palm over his impressive hard-on. “Fuck,” he exclaimed, then threw his head back.
You brought your lips to his neck, and laid a gentle kiss “You’re so hard,” you ran your hand over his boner again and your pussy throbbed.
Steven whined your name. It was like music to your ears.
You grinded on him, and a steady stream of obscenities flowed from his quivering lips; you were so desperate for him, you couldn’t even pause to take off your clothes — you just kept dry humping him. You moaned, “You feel so good, Steven.” (you were practically soaked through your panties by that point). “Does this feel good, baby?”
“Bloody hell yes.”
He whined your name again; he sounded so needy. All of his little noises made you want to squirm. “Y/N, oh god,” he groaned, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. “Y/N erm, maybe… oh Fuck.”
Suddenly, his body went rigid in paralyzing tetany, and his face contorted beautifully in pleasure — he had cum in his trousers.
Steven, Steven, Steven.
His face fell into the crook of your neck. “Shit, I - I’m so sorry Y/N.”
You couldn’t help but smile.“Steven, look at me.” He reluctantly did as he was told and looked up at you. You took his face into your hands, “You don’t have to apologize,” then kissed his nose.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed in my life,” he mumbled.
Steven may have been embarrassed, but you were more than flattered. If anything his little “mishap” turned you on even more.
You shook your head “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
He sighed. “I really would have preferred not to cum in my trousers like a pubescent knob… And what about you?”
“What about me?” you took his hand and brought it to your soaking panties. “Steven, you made me so wet.”
He looked at you stunned, “C-can I?” he stuttered.
You nodded, then he slipped his hand into your underwear, making you gasp.
His finger passed over your clit, “there,” you told him, “right there.” He heeded your instruction, and continued to rub it in a circular motion.
“Yes,” you choked out, then bit your tongue. You felt the familiar tightening in your pelvis, and a tingling between your thighs as he continued.
“Steven,” you moaned his name, and he brought his other hand to your breast.
“God, you're so beautiful,” he gushed.
He suddenly stopped rubbing your clit, just as you were on the verge of unraveling, but before you could ask why he stopped, you felt his fingers enter you.
“Is this okay?” He stared at you in complete awe.
You simply nodded — you couldn’t get words out even if you wanted to — he was fingering your G-spot perfectly.
You gripped his hair, and collapsed your face onto his chest, “Steven, I’m gonna cum.”
He lifted your chin. “I want to see your face.”
You nodded, biting your lip, then suddenly, you gasped, unraveling completely. Your thoughts scrambled momentarily from the rush of dopamine, and you fought to catch your breath.
You buried your face into Steven’s chest again. “Steven, that was so good.” You kissed his chest. “You were so good, baby.”
“Yeah?” he excitedly asked.
You nodded, reassuringly. He took his fingers out of you, “Can I taste you?” You nodded again, but far more bashful that time.
He brought his fingers to his mouth, and whined, “You taste so good.”
You two were suddenly pulled out of your ecstasy when the kettle started to whistle.
Shit, the tea, you remembered.
You patted his chest. “I’m gonna get our tea ready.”
“No, no, erm I’ll get it. You just stay comfortable.”
You didn’t try to argue — your legs still felt like jelly. “You’re such a gentleman.”
“Chivalry dies with me,” he cheekily proclaimed as he walked into the kitchen.
Steven prepared the tea, then the two of you changed out of your sex clothes (Steven took off his pants, and you threw on an oversized t-shirt) before you two snuggled up to drink it — the perfect end to the perfect date, and the perfect start to many more.
Tag list: @ali-r3n @rand0m--fangirl @budcooper @daddysfavoritesexkitten @ahookedheroespureheart @oswildin @stevenspector @avengers-bucky @fvckhd @dopeqff
WAITING FOR US
PAIRING hwang hyunjin x female!reader.
CONTENT smut, fluff, slight angst, idol!hyunjin, unprotected sex, shower sex, creampie.
DETAILS after the longest and most exhausting week without seeing his girlfriend, hyunjin takes advantage of the warm shower to make up for lost time with her.
NOTE thanks for waiting, it’s been over a month since my last post and yet you have made this blog grow immensely. still pouring my heart into each of these little fics, hope u enjoy it !
© erotichan. translating and/or reposting is not allowed.
DISCLAIMER ( ! ) this is not intended to promote unprotected sexual practices or the security of not getting pregnant/not contracting STD. please don't take this as your comprehensive sex education. all facts and events are fictitious. the written scenes do not represent any real person nor do they plan to steal/falsify their identity. any coincidence with names and places is pure artistic creation by and for entertainment.
spending time with you is like gold to hyunjin. sadly, not only because of how precious it is to him, but because of how rare it is to find.
it’s a fact that his days got so much busier than they used to be. his schedule demands so much of him that, at this point, spending a whole day with you is nearly a miracle. most of the times he can only see you at late night and enjoy you while being asleep in your arms, which makes you miss the routine of living together.
you do miss waking up in the morning and feeling his presence by your side. you miss making breakfast and lunch for him. you miss spending the afternoon together. you miss dates. you miss intimacy.
hyunjin isn’t as understanding as you with all that bulshit of ‘adult life has its sacrifices’. which, to be fair, is actually true. he simply hates to assimilate that he spends more time throughout the day thinking about you than being by your side. he hates having more memories of distant nights in his mind instead of fresh flashbacks of having you in his bed ― he always ends up disassociating over the thought of kissing or touching you and messes up his simple tasks. he’s a man at the end of the day, you take away what he loves most and turn him into a fool.
there’s not much you can do to solve it than take advantage of the only periods of free time you have to see each other. and that’s what you will happily do today!
finally, you settled night plans.
you prepared delicious homemade food and used your privilege of having a copy of his key so that he didn’t have to open it for you, and good thing you did, because you found a dark, empty room after you opened the door. you put the bags on the table and turned on the light, taking small steps to look around the apartment searching for your missing boyfriend. you headed to his room in case he was asleep but inmediatly stopped in your tracks when you heard the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom.
hyunjin didn’t even hear the front door when you opened it, but he did hear the footsteps approaching. he intuitively thought of you, as usual, and spared the paranoia of believing someone had broken into his place.
“(name)?” he now raises his voice enough for you to hear from the other side of the door that was left ajar.
you gently push it with your hand, poking your head inside to finally meet hyunjin’s eyes that also peeked out with curiousity. you spread a small smile along your lips, but he doesn’t reflect it as you expected. his whole body radiates fatigue, his expression is a little more worried than you’d await for. it’s rather shocked.
“oh, i didn’t hear you come in.”
hyunjin surveys over you, saturated with thoughts that don’t let him relax as he should when cleaning up. you’re just standing there, feeling like he wants to tell you something but he doesn’t find the will to do it. he sighs after a brief hesitation, taking for granted that he can’t keep showering alone now that you’re here.
“can you join me now? "i have to leave for a late night practice too”, he pleads with a soft-voiced attempt that gets distorted by his clear frustration.
a huge, strong wave of disappointment rises through your body, but you try to shake it off before it reaches your face. your expression keeps neutral, you simply proceed to nod your head. of course, why wouldn’t he have a vocal practice at night if that’s what he’s been doing routinely for the past few weeks? there’s nothing you can do to change it, nor are there many more options to make while he’s here, so you don’t even consider refusing his honest request.
you enter the bathroom with stealthy movements like every time you want privacy with your boyfriend and press your weight on the door to push it closed behind you ― the suspense and slowness makes hyunjin able to put his head under water again. it giftes you with that particular, tempting image through the steam. the glass partition allows you to see his bare back, his pure skin under the traces of water that fall along it. his hair is tousled, product of the shakes he gave it after rinsing the shampoo. your eyes glare behind him as you discard your clothing, undressing with such naturalness and ease.
soon after there you are, stepping into the shower and feeling the burn under your feet. you hold your hand under the water and hiss, then stick your arm into the space that forms between hyunjin’s arm and torso in front of you.
“it’s too hot, love” you whisper, justifying why you’re moderating the temperature.
you turn down the heat just a bit, but you make hyunjin realize that it was indeed very intense. the stings from the scalding water are no longer there, though to be honest, he’s not entirely pleased with the change. hyunjin looks down at your arm and grabs your wrist before you pull away. he places your hand on his waist to encourage you to hug him, and you very comfortably do so. both your arms wrap around his broad middle with no request from him. you know you want exactly this, to feel each other’s warmth. the scent, the bare skin. you feel so comfortable and peaceful, hugging hyunjin is one of your favorite things to do in the world. your head leans toward his back, and you press your cheek against his spine.
his muscles release tension, you can feel his entire rib cage expand as he releases the trapped air. hyunjin can’t explain how lucky he feels to have you there, that you don’t get mad, and that you understand that if he could, he would spend every second by your side as long as his heart is still beating. he lets the water run down his face on purpose, closing his eyes.
“i’m sorry i didn’t text you today,” he genuinely apologizes for the first time in, possibly, the whole week. “and i’m sorry i have to go now too” he adds.
you don’t like to hear him apologize, it makes you feel like he’s done something wrong. “it’s okay” you whisper again, even when it doesn’t feel like that.
your fingers slide up his belly, caressing the upper area that isn’t exactly ticklish and actually feels soothing. your eyes wander around the bathroom as you try to put your feelings into words, you don’t want to be hurtful to hyunjin but you don’t want to invalidate yourself either.
“i would like you to set a limit for yourself so you don’t feel overwhelmed, and also to have more time with others… but i know you don’t do it on purpose.”
“of course i don’t do it on purpose!” he replies immediately. there’s a very particular sound that comes out of his mouth, and it’s the one hyunjin only makes when he’s angry with himself. an arrogant, self-deprecating laugh. “i would never want our only time alone to be when i’m taking a shower because of how dirty i am.”
he lifts his head right after he talks his feelings out, tossing his hair out of his face. he’s so used to doing it when he showers that he forgets to consider the water can splash on yours. the drops fall into your eyes, and even though it could have annoyed you, you can’t help but laugh at how clueless ― and clumsy he is. the sound of your laughter echoing through the ceramic walls leads hyunjin to instantly melt in your grasp.
damn, he can’t believe he hasn’t heard you laugh in so long.
a smile spreads across his lips as he holds your arms to tighten the grip around himself. “i’m sorry,” he coos, glancing over his shoulder. hyunjin thinks of the simplest way to remedy the sorrow of this sad week, coming up with plans even though he’s not sure he’ll have time to make them happen. “what do you want to do tomorrow? let’s have a date somewhere.”
you’re fascinated by the idea almost as much as he seems to be by the insistence in his voice. you smile, pressing your chin to his shoulder so you can look up to him.
“somewhere? where’s somewhere?”
“anywhere! as long as i’m with you it’s the ideal place for a date,” he says coquettishly, taking benefit from the lack of eye contact with you. hyunjin quickly thinks of some more feasible option for him to show that he’s serious. “let’s go eat at that vegan place you like, and go to the movies!”
“to the movies?” you question the foreign option. even though it’s not something you’re used to do, you keep a smile on your lips. you get excited about any kind of date hyunjin devises.
he loses focus on the grip around your hands, and that allows you to release them. they work their way up his back to his shoulders, digging your fingertips into the tense muscles that need a little help to fully relax. he can’t even vocalize how much he loves your massages as he keeps insisting on his plan.
“yeah, let’s go to the movies. we haven’t seen marvel new releases yet― agh” his words get cut off by a whimper, your fingers press the exact knot under his neck. of course, it still doesn’t stop him. “dr. strange it’s still on the billboards!”
you laugh at his insistence. your fingers quit on the pressure, the movements become soft caresses around his shoulders, down his biceps, caressing his forearms and sneaking up to his waist. your intention is absolutely pure, you want to hug him warmly again but that’s not exactly what you find. your hand barely goes down his abdomen yet it’s more than enough to surprise you with something that wasn’t there before. hyunjin lowers his head immediately as he feels your hand collide with the tip of his cock, which he now realizes is fully erect as well and resting against his stomach.
his whole face turns hotter than the water that keeps pouring down on both of you as you retract your hand, his cheeks burn with embarrassment. he didn’t want to make a trouble out of this sweet moment.
“oh fuck― i, ugh, i’m sorry (name)” he apologizes awkwardly, feeling so stupid. he can’t believe that he really just ruined the moment by making you uncomfortable. “you know i don’t control that―”
you clearly weren’t expecting to find something like that, but you didn’t take your hand away because it made you feel uncomfortable. you were just surprised.
a small laugh leaves through your lips, a little embarrassed too, which is followed by a kiss that you press on hyunjin’s shoulder to reassure him. you could just let it go, but something inside of you feels good knowing that your boyfriend can’t control his body when he’s with you. you smile behind him, caressing his waist with those playful fingers that discovered that he reacts easily to your touch.
“does it really get you that excited to think about spending time in a dark theater with me?” you insinuate, heavy teasing in your voice.
hyunjin is so, so nervous. “it’s not that― i mean, of course i’d love to in that sense but, that’s not it!”
there’s your laugh again. hyunjin looks so funny when nerves dull his tongue. you decide to release the grip at his sides and simultaneously move to the side. you grab his arm to turn his figure toward the wall, facing you, and forcinghim to press his free hand to the side of your head to avoid losing his balance with the pull. his eyes scan everything in front of him, your reaction is not tragic as he thought. in fact, you have such a playful smile on your face as you bring the arm you’re holding on to your waist.
he relaxes, sighing with the sorrow that almost makes him break a sweat. “i’m sorry, angel” he apologizes again. his hand climbs towards your face even though it barely rested on your waist, the need to move your wet hair is bigger. his eyes drop to your lips as if he can figure out what your next words will be. “i’m excited to see you, my whole body gets equally excited!”
you giggle out loud this time, you find the justification quite valid. your fingers ghost up his arms to wrap around his shoulders, loving the feel of his skin beneath them. “i’m glad that every part of your body gives away that you miss me. it would make me feel terrible if nothing happened while i’m naked behind you.”
hyunjin shakes his head, the embarrassment seems to fade with the action. “you think that’s even possible at this point?”
you chuckle, happy with the insinuation. hyunjin can’t help but divert his gaze to your neck, the drops that hang from your collarbones attract his whole attention, your nipples getting hard from the water make him lose his focus on your eyes. he’s so mild with his gaze despite hiding behind his dilated pupils the thoughts of everything he wants to do to you in this situation. he can’t control it, he wants to touch you. his hand moves to your hip, gently squeezing it before sliding his hand down your thigh. his fingers push your leg up, and since you’re safe with your weight on the wall, you don’t hesitate to do so.
everything scales so quickly.
the distance becomes non-existent. both bodies get glued together and progressively desiring each other. your eyes stay on hyunjin’s face as he clutches your leg to him ― you feel the pressure of his cock on your abdomen and want to look down out of curiosity. your breath gets stuck in your throat at just that glance, days without intimacy also make you forget how big hyunjin really is. you have no doubt why you managed to accidentally touch his head with such ease.
neither of you says a word. if the water wasn’t hot, the glass would still fog up because of how heavy your breaths are.
hyunjin realizes that your eyes are now fixed on his length, and he feels that it’s getting harder and harder to control it. heat climbs through his body. his hand comes off your leg to let it fall more delicately than you expected. he’s just as curious as you, his fingers press on your belly, just above where his cock is resting. he drags his index finger across your navel and stops right on top of his head. something tingles inside him at the thought that all of that will be inside your tiny hole.
you feel your heart racing with his movements, they are as unpredictable as his next words. “i want to feel you raw” he spits out, unabashedly, sliding his finger down the side of his sensitive cock.
the proposal intrigues you. since when is hyunjin so spontaneous with sex?
“suddenly?” you question.
“oh no, i always want to,” he says with a bit of sarcasm in his voice. “only that right now i have a good reason to want it.”
he trails the rest of his fingers toward your waist to anchor his entire hand at your side, wrapping his other arm around the top of your head. you’re literally cornered and with no choice but to look at your lover in the eye. you’re so hot inside you swear he can see through your eyes how much you need him to continue. you lift your chin, almost defying his intense gaze.
hyunjin takes it as a challenge. “will you grant me that wish even though i’ve been a bad boyfriend?”
you can’t help but chuckle a second time. your lower lip gets caught between your teeth, you subtly drag it at the thought that there’s absolutely nothing you wouldn’t do for hwang hyunjin. certainly, you must make an excuse just as he would. your hand trails up to his neck, brushing the nape with just the tips of your nails. “just because you’ve had a really long, tiring day, not because i want you to.”
hyunjin frowns, nodding his head mockingly. he takes your word as if it was totally true in order to get what he wants. “i deserve it, don’t i?”
his hand pressing into your lower back joins his question, he pushes gently, pulling you to his body before he can even hear your answer. you take his face in your hands, holding him in place. “you do, baby”.
your gaze falls to his lips and you instantly connect yours to them. they collide hungrily, they mold to hyunjin’s mouth movements bit by bit. his cushiony lips fit perfectly on yours like they haven’t gone whole days apart, even though it might be frantic, it’s fervent ― surely passionate, but not disastrous. you make room for his tongue to enter and find yours as you find a comfortable place for your hands behind his neck. hyunjin wraps both of his arms around your back, the grip gets tighter and tighter and it’s so hard to explain what it does to you. he prevents you from any kind of exit, but instead of suffocating you, it makes you feel safer by leaving your entire figure in the care of his hands.
you needed this. you need him, you need to feel his warmth, his possession over you and everything he has to offer that makes you remember that you are still his.
his head naturally tilts to one side so he can reach your height, however, unsurprisingly, there comes a point where his neck hurts. hyunjin doesn’t have to do anything but slide his hands down your hips to press under your thighs, and with the minimum of your effort manage to hold you up in his arms. it’s automatic, your legs lock around his waist before your back presses against the ceramic. the action is as smooth as hyunjin can push you, yet it feels like a blow that kicks the air out of your lungs.
you take a moment to look down at him, moving his hair from his face. your fingers push the strands with the help of the water that keeps them there. there’s nothing you love more than seeing the lust hidden behind his sweet eyes at times like these. you feel his tip brushing against your core, and you become aware of how turned on you are. good thing you have a dirty mouth that can help you express it in words. “i want you to make me feel as good as only you know how to”, you whisper, staring at his lips. “i can’t tolerate another second without having you inside me.”
saying that you twisted something inside hyunjin is understandable.
it doesn’t take him more than a little chuckle to get to work. he squeezes your thighs with his hands before using one of them to take a hold of his cock, giving it the faintest pump before lining it at your entrance. he’s so sensitive that just the push of his head into your hole makes him whimper, he forces himself to lower his head so as not to ruin the simple task of burying himself inside you. the sound of the groan dragging up his throat makes you feel almost as flushed as the stretch when hyunjin finally slides along your walls.
“oh, god” are the only words you remember from your vocabulary ― you feel that you’re completely full after so long. you press your forehead against hyunjin’s as he retracts his hips and pushes them up right after with no warning. your eyes close, it’s too much at once.
he takes your reaction to thrust up, slowly and rhythmically, condemning you to the torture of repeatedly hitting your sweet spot with the position you’re in. you can’t formulate a single coherent word from how good the angle makes it feels, and he’s not far behind, the only thing you hear escaping from his lips are continuous growls.
the grip on your thighs increases just as much as the volume of his lovely sounds. he sighs audibly, slowing his movements for a moment. he’s out of breath already. “i missed this too damn much”, he exhales, clumsily burying his head in your neck. your scent makes him go feral. “how can i live without you, love?”
you don’t even know the answer yourself. his lips on your neck make you moan out loud, his tongue gets to choose the territory to mark as you throw your head back. you feel his teeth nibbling on your skin and know that there will be a purple-ish reminder of this moment. he’s so deep inside you, your whole body goes through chills ― being aware of what hyunjin does to your insides makes you tremble. he can somehow sense it by the way your nails claw at his shoulders, you get more desperate with each of his thrusts and he absolutely loves it.
he presses his forehead over your shoulder, allowing himself to peek down to the union of both. seeing his cock disappearing each time he slides inside of you intensifies his pleasure in a way that he can’t put into words. you know he’s holding himself, you know he would be ramming against you right now but he took upon himself to lean over the sensual way.
“look at how well you’re taking all of it, baby” he whispers, rolling his hips ever so slowly. you drag your head against the wall, making a mess of your hair. the way your pussy swallows him makes you see stars in the bathroom ceiling. “so many days without stretching you out and yet you let me do whatever i want with you”.
you lower you head just enough to make eye contact with him, your heartbeat gets faster as you lock gazes. it’s now that you fall into the realization that there’s not a barrier between you two, and it makes you clench so hard that you literally squeeze hyunjin inside you. he moans, audibly, feeling his poor cock starting to throb. “you’re gonna let me cum inside you?” he asks, voice raspy and eager to fill you up.
he’s not necessarily waiting for answer, because he knows you’ll say yes. he picks up his pace as he keeps his gaze on yours, thrusting a little quicker to pull out the words out of you. “y―yes, please, do it”.
your nails crawl down his back, fighting for stability. the strenght you’re making with your legs around his waist starts to fade, your thighs feel shaky. your hands slide towards his sharp jawline, pooling on the sides of his face ― you hold him there, admiring you as he thrusts up nonstop. his brow furrows from just feeling you contract around him, it’s so hard for hyunjin to control the moans coming out of his mouth that he just can’t hold them back.
like an impulse, your thumb flies to his lower lip, pressing on it so he doesn’t close his mouth. you love to hear him, you love to witness what your poison does to him.
“you’re so sensitive, jinnie” you coo, smiling through the mess he made of himself. “and you’re making me feel so good.”
hyunjin buries his veiny fingers around your thighs at your words that hold some truth to them. he nods, there’s no way to deny such an event. every single part of his body anticipates his high. it’s a record time, truly.
he then whimpers, almost groans, can’t fully take in how good the build of his orgasm feels. you can swear by the way his gaze begs for mercy that he’s fighting to unload everything inside you, and you encourage him to empty to the last drop. the strands of his wet hair get trapped between your fingers to let out a blissful cry. you know the only thing it takes for hyunjin to cum is to hear you audibly and firmly.
“f―fuck, (name), i missed hearing you like this”.
your lips search for his, taking them to swallow his moans and save you the neighbors’ complaints. he loses steadiness at his thrusts, they go clumsy as he finally bursts his release inside your hole. the kiss is even clumsier, he can’t help but grunt into your mouth. you can feel his cum filling your walls warmly, and surprisingly, he doesn’t stop.
the overstimulation it’s painful, delightfully painful, he simply can’t stop. your chest puffs out with tight air as his cum drips down your inner thighs, your fingers tug at his hair as you feel your own orgasm draw near. you have little to no control over your body as his cum is pushed back inside you with each thrust. it feels intoxicating, you need to drag your face apart from him, his hot breath now fanning against your neck.
“shit,” your voice turns pathetically sharp.
it’s been so long, you can’t control the squirming even in his grip while your nerves get riled up. your back arches off the wall, you press your chest even harder against his ― it’s so intimate, both cumming one after the other in each other’s arms, skin to skin. you slide your hand between both bodies, pressing your fingers into hyunjin’s chest. his heart beats just as fast as yours as you contract around him. pleasure washes over you like waves that grow so intensely, it’s almost soothing. how could you endure so many days without this feeling of cumming under your boyfriend’s good care?
your head comes into contact with the pottery as you throw it back again, letting the water intrude between both and wash away all traces of the lusty encounter. hyunjin can’t even find what to say, he’s dumb in ecstasy, trying to catch his breath and make way for you to steal his word.
there is only one thing that you want to say and that you cannot keep in your mouth before it’s kissed by his again. you lower your head, your hands cup his cheeks to support his face as if it was the most fragile thing. “i’m so in love with you” you whisper into his parted lips. “i could wait forever to have you and it would still feel worth it, baby.”
hyunjin exhales, not only despondent, but relieved to hear such a statement. his narrowed eyes reveal that he’s still processing what his body went through, but that doesn’t hide the sparkle they reflect. his head is spinning just thinking about how screwed he is to be so hopelessly devoted to you. his grip on your thighs releases trusting the hold of your legs around him, his hands slide up to your waist until he can press down on your lower back the same way he presses your body against the wall in search of your lips.
he will never get tired of this, just like you said, not even if he has to wait forever. the taste of your lips reminds him one more time that he has you all to himself for the rest of his busy days. you smile, flustered, interrupting the kiss. you can’t fight against your natural response to feeling so desired. hyunjin makes you feel so wanted, so irreplaceable in his life.
your teeth gently nibble on his lower lip, dragging it down until you can get him to open his eyes. he stares up at you, wishing he could repeat this moment at least a hundred times again before he has to leave. unfortunately, you have to remind him that it has come to an end.
“c'mon, let’s get changed, you don’t want to be late to your practice”.
TAGLIST ( ! )
@justamessofablog @super-btstrash-posts @seochhj @leiasfanaccount648 @cb097maze @helomaby @lattechans @LittleLillyjs @felix-egg @chans-left-tiddie @yoongismic @cherryhanji
eddie munson nsfw headcanons
A/N : I tried to make this non gender specific but a couple of hcs apply more specifically to afab. I’m sorry about this and I hope this post is still enjoyable for people of all anatomy :) This is my first time writing any kind of smut so pls be nice I know it’s not the best 😭
it has been said before and it will be said again, this man absolutely has a corruption kink. not so intense as to have you change everything about yourself; he is a nonconformist after all - but the idea of introducing you to new things surrounding sexual intimacy, embracing your sexuality, or even making you ‘dirty’ (marking you up so everyone knows you’ve been ‘corrupted’ by him, drives him nuts. this plays into the slight tinge of possessiveness he has as well.
he wants people to know you’re his and that he is yours, which is why he loves when you leave hickeys across his neck so he can wear them proudly in front of everybody later - the ones trailing down his navel, he can just admire on his own in the mirror when he gets home from your place.
loves having a little pudge to hold onto. thunder thighs? would die a happy man with them wrapped around his head. love handles? “hell yea.” back fat? he adores pressing his fingertips into it when he squeezes you into a tight hug. he frequently swoons over your body and how precious he thinks it is - whether this is in a physical or spiritual sense, you don’t know. you just know he believes your body is a temple and should be treated and talked about as such.
back to the smutty stuff, he loves you + his cum. he is obsessed with the sight. before you started dating, it became a consistent part of his routine to stroke himself off while imagining you with his seed pooling under your tongue, or spread across your tits, your stomach and thighs. or his favorite was the mental image of his cum oozing out of either of your holes - or even better, both. when he’s finished and has cleaned up the mess he made, he’s totally spent and just collapses back onto his bed and sleeps for a few hours. it’s also a good way for him to work out some adrenaline before or after a show at the hideout.
eventually, you found out about these fantasies. Nightmare On Elm Street : Freddy’s Revenge had just come out on VHS, and the two of you had been dying to see it. you managed to get your hands on it from Family Video and wanted to surprise him with a little movie night in. you silently entered his trailer, cringing when the door squeaked. gently shutting the door and creeping towards his room, you see his door isn’t wide open as it usually is and is instead left open by a few inches. as you approach, you hear small and hasty pants coming from inside. you knew in your very soul your sweet boy would never cheat on you, so you know he must be alone. not unfamiliar with walking in on him while he’s busy tugging himself off, you decide you’ll peer in for a few moments before bursting in to give him a cheeky little fright - lord knows he’s done that to you. peeking in, you see him sprawled across his bed. he’s still got his clothes from earlier that day on, but his jeans are undone and you can see his right hand frantically pumping his cock, his head thrown back with a halo of frizzy curls surrounding his soft features. he’s letting out breathy moans and mumbling about “M’gonna fill you up nice and full of my cum sweetheart. Come on, take it”. you feel yourself heat up at the realization, but feel a surge of confidence at the the reminder that he thinks about you during such personal and intimate moments. the sound of his breathing getting heavier pulls you from your thoughts and that is when - much to eddie’s surprise, you burst in through the door. Freddy’s Revenge VHS still in hand. “Y/N! Shit, you scared me baby. Didn’t know you were coming.” he puffs, trying to play cool and hope you didn’t hear his lustful cum-crazed ramblings from mere moments ago. Setting the VHS down on his dresser, you look him up and down, not making any effort to hide it either - to which he flushes. you crawl on top of him, straddling his waist - his still weeping cock standing to attention right behind you as his hands instinctively move to your hips. “what were you thinking about?” you ask. your smirk and the glint in your eye tells eddie that you already know the answer. “Damnit, baby...” he sighs out in defeat. your attentive gaze reminds him that the two of you have an open and honest policy when it comes to everything, but most importantly right now, about sex and what you both want. and that’s when he tells you, all of it. you listen closely, letting yourself picture his fantasies with him as he describes every last detail of what he wants to do to you, where he wants to dump his load. when he finishes, he looks at you - not knowing what kind of reply he’s going to get. you meet his gaze and it’s as if both of your eyes are saying “are you thinking what i’m thinking?” you shimmy down his body, settling over his legs. you slowly pump his cock with your right hand, left hand resting on his hip for support and to tame his eager bucking towards your mouth. you press kisses to his leaky tip as his head lulls back with a low groan. that night, you and eddie played out all his dirty fantasies, much to his - and your pleasure.
His Biggest Regret
Pairing: Hanma Shuji x Fem!Reader, slight mention of Mikey x Fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ only, Smut (very brief, nothing to descriptive) angst, little to no comfort, cheating, I guess hanma is a little ooc, bad editing.
A/N: i was feeling angsty, and i was in my hanma feels. I think I want to write an alternate ending though. So I'll probably write an alternate ending
Hanma knew he fucked up. He knew he made a mistake, and he knew you'd never forgive him.
He can't even remember why he let that girl crawl onto his lap at the club, he doesn't remember why he brought her home, and doesn't remember why he let her touch him in a way only you were allowed.
The look on your face when you got home and walked into your shared bedroom? Now that, that he does remember. He remembers it so clearly he could tell you exactly how it looked.
First you walked in with a smile, the one that you always greeted him with when he got home. Then your face went into shock as you watched the girl bounce on his lap, your eyes meeting with his.
You then finally processed what was happening while Hanma pushed the girl off of him, trying to figure out what to say to you. The tears gathered so quickly in your eyes as the girl ran out of the room, you didn't even stop them from falling down your cheeks as you stared at Hanma.
God it was so clear to him, the hurt look on your face, the light in your eyes dimming.
And he was the one that had caused that.
Hanma didn't care much about people, didn't really give a shit about how anyone felt. But you? You were precious to him. He went above and beyond to make you happy, keep you safe.
He loved you with all his being, you were his one and only, the woman he wanted by his side for the rest of his life. The only woman who was able to match his energy, or put him in his place.
But he fucked it up.
Now he sits in the apartment you two had once shared, alone. All your stuff was cleared out as you left to move in with a friend. It just didn't feel like home anymore.
He really missed your touches, missed your laughter as you watched stupid shows, the way you cuddled into him when you felt cold, the way you always traced the tattoos on his hands.
Fuck he just missed everything about you.
Why did he go and fuck it up?
His thoughts always went to you. What were you doing? Were you seeing anyone else? Did you miss him as much as he missed you?
On this particular night, his thoughts went to intimacy you used to share, the intimacy he craved from you.
"My beautiful girl, always feel so good f'me" Hanma groaned as his hips rolled against yours slowly.
Normally Hanma was rough, pounding into you until you were a drooling, sobbing mess. Completely fucked dumb.
But tonight, it was slow, sweet loving. One of the rare nights where Hanma craved soft intimacy, just needing to be close to you.
"Shuji fuck-" You moaned, your high quickly approaching. "So close, gonna cum Shu-"
"Go on doll, I'm right there, let's cum together okay?"
Your grip on his hands tightened as his hips picked up the pace. A few more thrusts and both of you reached your highs, moaning eachothers names as Hanma helped you both ride them out.
His forehead met yours, and you smiled up at him before attaching your lips to his in a sweet kiss.
"I love you Shuji." You whispered, your eyes reflecting that love right onto Hanma.
"I love you to y/n. And I'll love you forever." He said before kissing you again.
Hanma groaned, his head in his hair as he pulled at it in frustration.
He was so stupid.
How could he hurt you like that? How could he have ever done that to you?
As he sat there, he realized there was a lot of things he didn't notice. The way you always had the apartment smelling like teakwood, the tea that was always ready for him in the mornings, the pictures were crooked, and there were no baked goods on the table like normal.
He even came to notice the whole place just seemed dark. Your bright spirit no longer around to lighten it up.
He couldn't help but look at the picture on the table. The one that you took of the two of you when you first started seeing eachother.
He knew that day that you were the one for him. No one has ever made him feel the way you did, you were the only person he was ever soft around, the only person who saw Hanma for who he really was.
He thought of your last words to him, words he didn't ever want to hear leave your lips, but he knew he deserved.
"Y/n, please let me just-"
"How could you?" You sobbed. "Shuji.. why?"
"It didn't mean anything baby please-" Hanma was sweating, shaking, hell he was near tears, and he was never one to cry.
He didn't know what to do.
"Was I-" You hiccuped. "Was I not enough, are you not happ-"
"Baby you're more than enough, you're everything to me please-" He went to grab you, to hold you, but you moved away.
"Then why would you do this?" You asked quietly. "Why?!"
"I don't-" Hanma paused. He didn't know why. "I don't know I-"
"I'm done." You said again. "How can you not know Shuji." You walked away, grabbing your purse and a jacket before walking to the door.
"Y/n please!" Hanma yelled. He couldn't let you slip away. He couldn't. "We can work through this just please don't go. We can-"
"I can't." You stated. "I'm never going to look past this. I can't look past this." You looked to him, his eyes full of regret, pleading for you to stay. "I'm done with you Shuji. I don't want to see you again."
Hanma only laughed at himself as he felt tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn't blame you, hell he didn't even want to look at himself anymore.
"You are a fucking idiot." He said to himself, going to grab a cigarette. When he saw that there was no more in the pack, he groaned.
But he guessed this was a good enough reason to get out of the apartment.
He grabbed his coat, slipping on his his shoes before heading out into the chilly weather.
He was surprised to see how dark it was outside. How long did he mope for today? He doesn't even remember what time he got up.
As he walked to the convenience store down the street, he heard a voice, a voice that made him stop in his tracks.
It was yours.
He immediately started looking around for you, just needing to see you, hopefully even maybe get to talk you. A small smile formed on his face when he saw you on the other side of the street, a hand in the air as you waved in his direction.
Were you waving at him?
As he looked at you, he noticed how much more beautiful you've gotten. It's only been a few months since you had left, but something about you had changed. He raised his hand to wave back, about to make his way over to you when someone ran past him, straight to you.
He choked on the air as he saw Mikey wrap his arms around you. Your laugh could be heard so clearly as you hugged him back before pulling back a bit.
Only to plant your lips onto his.
Hanma felt his whole heart shatter. He couldn't move, he was completely frozen in place.
Mikey. You were seeing Mikey. Hanma couldn't even comprehend what was happening. A guy that Hanma just couldn't beat had you in his arms.
He winced, actually winced as you smiled at Mikey. That was the smile you would give him, a smile that could brighten anyone's day. He wanted to scream as Mikey placed his hand on your waist, slowly leading you away.
That should be him. He should be making you smile and laugh, not Mikey.
His breath caught in his throat when you looked back, eyes falling onto Hanma who just stared at you. Mikey had said something, pulling your focus away, and you smiled at him again, letting him know you were okay.
Hanma watched till you were out of sight, a heavy feeling in his chest as he thought about the biggest regret in his life.
Hanma Shuji has done a lot of fucked up shit, not that he really cared about it, nor did he regret all the stupid things he did.
But hurting you? Losing you?
That will always be his biggest regret.
Oh my little star …
How I wished to just hold you in my arms and kiss your head
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Story Warnings: just some filthy smut with a side of FEELINGS (consensual non-consent, reader kind of shames herself for enjoying such a thing?, consensual somnophilia, fingering, power kink, one (1) gentle face slap, degradation, humiliation if you squint, dirty talk about being Loki's "precious little mortal," breeding kink!!!, creampie, aftercare), 18+
Word Count: 2.3k
Based on these two requests! [x] [x] And, uh, I've been wanting to write all of these things for awhile now so my hand might have slipped K BYE
You’ve talked about it. Multiple times, to be honest, but Loki has always treated you like glass, like you’re too fragile and delicate for such wicked things. What’s worse is that the two of you have always been kinky in the bedroom; embarrassingly so, in fact, so it actually kind of stings that to this, he says no.
Even when your “no” sometimes means “yes.”
Loki prefers his partners enthusiastically willing, and willingly enthusiastic. You know this. He’s told you more than once that a lack of consent actually turns him off—you know, like it should for anyone with morals. He’s normal. He’s decent. It should turn him off.
You should be happy that it does, and you are. Really.
But sometimes, you want him to not care so much. Call it a coping mechanism, or a way of reclaiming something that you’ve lost, but it’s an undeniable fact that if Loki wanted to force you, he could. He most certainly could. You want him to put that godly strength of his to good use, put his magic to the test and bind you to the headboard, take what he wants from you, over and over and over—
Instead, you pull his pillow over your face and groan in frustration.
Sleep isn’t coming easy tonight. It never does when he’s away on a mission. At least the smell of him calms your spirits a little, cinnamon and spice, even if it makes your mind wander even more.
You’ll always want what you can’t have. Right? It’s normal to have some preferences that don’t align with your partner’s, which makes those fantasies all the more desirable.
When you finally give in and shove your hand into your underwear to finish what your mind began, that’s when you finally fall asleep.
The sheets tickle your bare skin.
A hand, cool and gentle, slides up your thigh, and you vaguely feel the sensation of your slick folds being spread open. The sticky heat between your thighs is a sharp contrast to the chill in the air, particularly noticeable when your legs are nudged further apart – only for two slim fingers to breach your entrance with ease.
A breathy whine escapes your throat, but everything’s still so hazy with sleep. You still think you’re dreaming; after all, you’d fallen asleep thinking about such wicked things, so a sex dream isn’t exactly out of the question.
Those perfect fingers scissor and spread, and then they withdraw, only to be replaced with something much thicker. It’s an effortless glide, the way he enters you so easily, the beautiful stretch as he eases himself inside; but when you try to wrap your arms around his neck for the intimacy, the closeness, well, you just can’t seem to move your wrists—
And then a hand clamps over your mouth, far more solid than any dream could ever be.
Your eyes wrench open in shock, only to find Loki on top of you, holding his hand firmly against your mouth to stifle your startled scream. The other one holds your wrists above your head with a grip so tight that it’ll most definitely bruise by morning.
The moonlight streaming in through the blinds barely offers enough light for you to see that it definitely is Loki, but the comfortable, heavy weight of him is unmistakable, never mind the familiar feel of his thick cock stretching you open.
In the darkness, you can only assume that he’s carefully gauging your reaction with the way he’s suddenly frozen in place.
Fuck. You’ve never been more turned on in your life.
“Is this alright?” comes the whisper-soft sound of your lover's voice in the darkness as he lets up just enough that you can respond.
You don’t. It’s all you can do to nod your very enthusiastic consent.
When the pressure increases again, it’s actually somewhat difficult to breathe with how large his hand is; it covers your mouth as well as your nose, almost, and that’s when you realise that Loki hadn’t even bothered to wake you up before he slid home.
A pleasant shiver wracks through you when his voice takes on a decidedly dark timbre.
“Scream, and I can guarantee that this will not be a pleasant experience for you. Is that clear, little mortal?”
You swallow thickly and nod again, just once this time. You’ve made jokes about it before – that he could so easily break you, the fragile Midgardian plaything that you are compared to a god. Jokes meant to disguise the truth of your desires.
You can see him better, now, as the moon peeks out from behind a cloud. Loki looks every bit as dangerous and intimidating as he used to when he first arrived, jaw set, staring down at you with that certain sharp edge to his features that makes the hairs raise on the back of your neck. Not at all like the tender concern he usually offers you.
Oh my god.
When Loki finally moves within you once more, he fucks into you with slow, hard thrusts – much, much harder than usual to the point that your eyes roll back. He isn’t gentle with you, no, but rough, demanding, using you for his pleasure just like you’ve always wanted him to, so much that the bed creaks and shakes with each unrelenting thrust.
“You're a precious thing, aren’t you? Taking my cock so well for such a pathetic little Midgardian.”
The noise that escapes your throat sounds like an audible mix of shame and arousal. His hand leaves your mouth to pat your cheek – the barest hint of a slap, and it’s all you can do to force yourself to look at him again through the haze.
“What did I tell you?” he warns.
“I—“ You can barely think, too blissed out from the sheer dominance radiating off of him. “I won’t scream. I—I won’t, I promise. Please don’t hurt me.”
The corners of his lips turn up in amusement. “Then stop struggling. I don’t wish to hurt you, but…”
His hand drops to your neck, and his lighthearted demeanour disappears in a flash.
It’s a threat.
You blink up at him – and only then do you realise how much you’ve been squirming. Your wrists ache from how tightly he’s been holding them as you’ve struggled beneath him, consciously or not. It sparks a sudden fire in you to fight back even more, if only to see what he’ll do.
“Get off of me,” you grind out, all bark and no bite, pulling hard at his grip. When you noticeably wince from the ache, however, it relents for a split second, only to be replaced by what feels like binds made of cool, soothing silk. Loki’s magic.
“No,” he answers simply, and while you still can’t move, now his hands are free to do whatever he wants to you. Then follows a command that makes your breath hitch, “You will take every inch of me. Willing or not.”
Loki releases your neck to push your legs back toward your ears. His palms smooth against your thighs before he firmly presses them down to ensure you feel just as trapped as you look.
“Let me—Let me go!” you stammer, as genuine embarrassment floods through your veins at how openly he’s put you on display.
He ignores your protest in favour of a particularly punishing thrust that knocks the breath from your lungs. His cock reaches so much deeper like this, a fact you know extremely well, but not like this, not under these circumstances – and you absolutely love it.
“I will not,” he tells you, emphasising his point with a slap to your inner thigh. You hiss in pain. “I’m going to fuck you, little mortal, and then I’m going to breed you.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
You feel yourself clench down around him despite the feigned look of horror upon your face. “No! Stop it! No, I don’t want—”
“But I do.”
Loki’s fingers dig into your thighs when he moves again, steadily increasing the pace until he reaches the one you know he enjoys most. He’s using you. He’s using you—
“Fuck,” you swear, throwing your head back in pleasure as he takes what he wants from you. The façade is slowly failing, not that you care.
“I thought you wanted me to stop?” he patronises, leaning in to kiss and nip at your throat. Feeling the full weight of his body pinning you down makes you especially aware that you’re trapped like this, trapped for him to breed you as much as he wants.
“You have to—have to stop,” you croak as he sucks a bruise at the junction between your neck and shoulder, making you whimper and writhe beneath him. “I’m not on birth control. It’ll—It’ll take.”
It’s a lie. You know he’ll realise that, but instead you feel his movements falter just slightly as he exhales a long, shaky breath against the sweat-slicked skin of your neck.
“That's exactly what I want,” he snarls into your ear. “I’m going to fuck you full of my seed until it does. Do you understand?”
Your eyelids flutter as the coil in your abdomen starts to tighten. “Please,” you breathe. “Please, you have to stop. You can’t come inside. I’ll—I’ll get pregnant.”
Loki groans, low and rough. His hands shift to your ass, where he squeezes your soft, supple flesh with every desperate roll of your hips, encouraging you to move in time with his thrusts. It only sends you higher, knowing how in control he is of your body, willing or not.
And then he angles himself just so, and you lose yourself entirely.
“I’m gonna—fuck, Loki, oh my god—”
Your back arches up off the bed as your mind goes blank, toes curling from how quickly your climax hits. Something between a sob and a whine wrenches from you, cut short when Loki finally kisses you breathless. It’s messy – rushed – needy, and you know he’s close by the way his tongue sweeps into your mouth with all the love and passion he’d somehow managed to hold back until now.
The moment his magic lifts, your fingernails dig into his ass, pulling him deeper.
“Come inside me,” you plead against his lips. “Fill me up, Loki. I love you so much. Please.”
The desperation in how he says your name nearly gets you there all over again – and then he pushes inside as far as he can go as he finishes deep within you, cock pulsing with every hot rope of his cum. You can feel the warm burst of it deep inside, feel the tip of him against your cervix as he paints your insides white.
Loki rests his forehead on your shoulder as the two of you struggle to catch your breath. Your body feels like jelly, unexpectedly put through the paces – a quick glance at the clock – at two-thirty-three in the morning. He must have just gotten back.
His hands rub gentle circles into your thighs as he releases them – to which you let out a soft, pained moan. They’re sore from having been held back for so long, but you offer him a blissed-out smile anyway.
“I take it you enjoyed yourself, then,” Loki says with a laugh as he settles in beside you. He barely has a moment to hold out his arm before you’re already snuggling up to him, resting your chin on his chest to peer up at him with nothing but love.
“Mmm. Did you?”
You can feel his cum starting to ooze out of your hole. Not that you mind it, of course.
Those pretty green eyes of his shine with adoration as he gazes down at you. “Oh, yes. I very much enjoyed forcing my little mortal to take every single drop of me.”
You huff in embarrassment. “I know you liked it just as much as I did. Putting me in my place before I'd even woken up...” A shiver goes through you at the memory. “Fucking hell, Loki.”
He lets out a pleased hum as he threads his fingers through your hair. “I may have put you in your place a little too roughly. How are your wrists?”
“They’re fine. A bit sore, but fine.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
You frown at him. “I’m fine. You don’t always have to worry.”
“Ah, but that is exactly why I do worry,” Loki tells you, leaning forward just enough to drape one of your arms over his chest, bringing your wrist close enough to examine. Predictably, you wince, because bruises have indeed started to raise upon your delicate skin and you can even see the slightest hint of swelling in the moonlight. “You always say you’re fine, even when you clearly aren’t.”
“Hush, darling. Allow me to take care of you.”
Of course you do.
His hand hovers over your wrist as you feel the cool tingle of his magic once again. The ache slowly eases as he heals the damage, and then he beckons for you to offer him your other wrist.
Pouting, you do as he requests.
After another few moments, you’re good as new.
Loki leaves a kiss upon the underside of your wrist. “I love you more than you could ever know.” And then he lets out the softest laugh you’ve ever heard. “My precious little Midgardian.”
「Forms of non-sexual intimacy with BNHA Boys」
bathing together; the form of intimacy in which you fully discover yourself and can appreciate every physical aspect while sharing a genuine and loving atmosphere. him gently washing your body with care and delicacy, as if he had all the time in the world to discover every little universe hidden in your body; he leaves soft kisses on your shoulder and neck as he washes your hair, which makes you smile because together with the little ripples of hot water they tickle your skin. being totally comfortable in each other's presence is what he's always wanted for the two of you since the beginning, and seeing your love growing every day makes his heart race with happiness in his chest.
the kind of intimacy that only grows and flourishes with time, the true meaning of “making life” together. the kind where the two of you help each other grow in every aspect of life; supporting and rooting for each other's victory but also being there and taking care of each other in defeats. it's when you start to know each other's thoughts, times and patterns as if there is an invisible bond that grows each day between the two of you; like it always connects the two of you even when you're not physically together. it's the form of intimacy where you only know and understand each other on a very deep level.
a kind of pure, genuine intimacy that encourages each other; listen to each other's dreams, fears, stories and secrets without judgment and show that no matter what, you will be there for each other. always cheering and supporting each other's hobbies, which always makes your heart warm to remember that someone is genuinely rooting for you and that even if you fail, that person will not give up on you.
kind of intimacy where you guys do things together that lead to inside jokes and private memories; a beautiful feeling of closeness that comes from working in unison. sometimes it's so subtle and unexpected, it's like the two of you lose your way going somewhere the two of you have never been and one is responsible for the driving and the other for the navigation. maybe a bit of a fight here and there, but both still working together to reach your destination and knowing you’re never really lost as long as the other is around.
the form of intimacy that grows on common interests and activities. for him, there's nothing quite like coming together because of a mutual love for a particular tv show, or during an animated monopoly game or mobile games, or an underrated book. thinking about each other whenever see or hear about it. simple but precious memories resulting from losing sleep because you were too excited at that show or playing together all night.
kind of intimacy where actions speak louder than words. making - or at least trying - each other's lives a little easier, a little lighter, a little smoother, a little prettier, and a little more bearable. having breakfast ready so you don't forget it when you're in a hurry. wash and dry dishes together after dinner. leaving little love notes in your things to make you smile. the little things he would do only for those he is really close to.
distracted physical touches, usually out of habit. when you are watching tv; he reaches out and strokes your hair, plays with your earlobes, or nudges you gently with his foot. and even when you are in public or with other people, he finds himself playing with your hands, your fingers, tracing patterns on your palm or the back of your hand with his thumb, all while casually conversing with another person.
the form of intimacy in which you are completely vulnerable and open with each other; where you can let yourself be broken in front of each other without being afraid, but with the certainty that the other is there to heal you. it's the feeling of coming home and telling each other about a stressful incident of the day, as well as thoughts and feelings you didn't feel so safe expressing to others. crying, sharing emotions and comforting; find comfort in each other's embrace and smile as you feel warmth.
his favorite form of intimacy is where the two of you give each other undivided and unique attention when you're together; being as busy as he is and having a lot to think about, there's something so beautiful and comforting about focusing on just one person: you. that means ignoring notifications and anything that bothers him aside when he's with you. leaving certain places earlier to spend more time with you. looking adoringly into each other's eyes at random moments where you can swear there are only the two of you in the world.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags! @chuupetarou, @tiiredcorpse, @saturnmich, @yfneccentric, @nishayuro, @hazyspells, @belovedserendipity, @shrimpy109, @rorikau, @mlb-hp-hoo, @itisaclock, @hirugummies, @afairywithacrown, @3-am-depression, @cherries4denki, @solyxa, @belsumu, @mitsuyaya, @gwynsapphire, @justanotherfangirlwup, @afk-dreaminq, @jahnvi-d, @horrorcvnts, @gratefulstranger, @mayukhii, @uwiuwi, @idunnomynamesince2005, @trashy-bowtie <3
.˳⁺⁎˚ taglist + masterlist! ˚⁎⁺˳ .
Kill Me Romantically
Summary: Wanda had proven herself to be a compassionate lover. She had taken good care of you so far and the connection certainly had its perks. However, when you learned that your connection had yet to be complete, you're a little upset to say the least. Wanda didn't seem to be in a rush to finish it and you wanted revenge. However, you quickly learned that no matter how dirty you played, Wanda could always play dirtier
Warnings: Manipulation, blood sucking, aggressive behaviors, hallucinations (?), and multiple references towards vomiting. this is hurt/comfort but it is a darkfic so you're still pretty hurt.
A/N: You know how I said this was a dark fic but I kinda fumbled the bag on the dark part in the first chapter? Yea, the bag is secured on this part :)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Wanda was an odd lover. A sweet and gentle lover, but certainly an odd one. There was already a looming air of mystery to her from the vampirism alone, but there were a number of quirks and strange mannerisms that you had noticed in the few months the two of you had been together.
The first of many was the way she had connected the two of you. Wanda hadn’t gone into much detail about how being connected would work, but you were able to figure out some things on your own. There was the emotional connection you had expected. However, there were some very strange and extreme side effects as well. Wanda would be in your dreams very often, in some cases she had even forced you to dream. She could fill your head with anything she wanted. Rather than fill your head with dirty thoughts or steamy dreams, Wanda chose to remind you when to eat or force you to wake up at a decent time. You weren’t weirded out by these things — occasionally caught off guard by Wanda’s stern warnings, yes — but those were things you had expected from her. What had confused you the most was that you couldn’t do those things for Wanda. You were connected to her, but she was not connected to you.
Another one of Wanda’s many oddities was her need to dress and undress you. The first she had only done because the two of you were having sex. Wanda would demand you shower every time you visited her. She’d sit you down at the edge of your bed and take her precious time stripping you of your clothes. Then she’d sit you in the tub and bathe you. Wanda rarely ever got in with you. It was another unfair advantage for. She could look into your mind and spoil you exactly the way you wanted and she knew your body like the palm of her hand. Yet, she hadn’t even given you the pleasure of touching her bare chest. You were beyond baffled by those two things more than anything else. Being dressed and connected was an intimacy you'd never give up, but it was strange.
"You're frowning again, doll."
You snapped out of your thoughts and looked up at your lover. "Sorry, I was just thinking."
Wanda sighed and bent down in the space between your legs. She rested her head against the inside of your thigh. The quick flash of red in her eyes made it obvious she was in your head. "You're frustrated, tell me what's wrong." Though the connection made communication easier, you two had agreed to restrict how much it was used. If Wanda was ever in talking distance, she couldn’t just look into your head to make you feel better. Mainly because that would just upset you more, but also because the two of you valued being able to talk things out. “Come on, you’ve been out of it since you got here. Is someone bothering you?”
You were startled by how quickly Wanda had jumped to conclusions. “No, no! Everything is fine at home, I was just thinking about…y’know,” You paused and gestured awkwardly between you and Wanda. “Us, well, it. I mean — we’re doing great, but I really don’t know how it works.” You cringed at your own frantic speaking. You huffed and flopped back on the bed. “It’s just that you can do all this cool stuff for me, but I can’t even tell if you’re looking at me or through me!” When Wanda stood up to sit on the bed next to you, your body instinctively rolled over so you would be snuggled into her side once she laid down. “I feel like you’re doing all the work keeping this relationship together.”
Wanda frowned hearing your complaints. “Well, if it helps, we’re not fully connected just yet.” She couldn’t help but giggle at your shocked expression. Her hand reached out to caress the smooth skin of your tummy. You were still partially naked since she hadn’t been finished picking out your clothes for the day. “You let me in to yourself, but I haven’t let you in to me.” A lump formed in her throat at the mere thought. She gently squeezed your side in an attempt to calm herself. “I want you to get used to how it works before we go through with it completely.” There were a lot of ways to finish the connection. Most were too brutish and gorey for Wanda’s liking. Introducing you to the world of magic and monsters wasn’t something that interested her at the moment. “If you want to complete the connection that’s fine, but please just think about it first.”
“Are you scared?”
The question caught both of you off guard. You weren’t expecting to say it out loud and Wanda wasn’t expecting you to be so perspective. It left a heavy silence between the two of you.
Wanda opened her mouth a few times, but nothing ever came out. She had an answer. She was scared — terrified even — but she had no way of communicating why to you. Moments like this made her wish she had just done it right the first time. Maybe if she sank her teeth in your pretty little neck, this wouldn’t have been a problem. Then, everything would’ve been perfect. She wouldn’t be in physical pain every time you left and she could actually get things done when you were gone. “Honestly,” Wanda paused and swallowed a lump in her throat, “I’m horrified. I’m not entirely sure if I trust myself to behave after it’s done.” A small giggle escaped her lips. Her fears were beyond that, but she wouldn’t dare worry you with something so out of your control. She pressed a kiss against your forehead and smiled. “I’ll do some research on how to make it easy for you, but right now let's get you dressed.”
You wanted to argue that it was a serious conversation that couldn’t be pushed back, but you could never deny Wanda.
It had been four weeks since you and Wanda had discussed finishing the connection process. You had long since decided that you wanted to do it, but it seemed Wanda wasn’t entirely on board. At first you assumed she was actually doing her research. Then, you convinced yourself that Wanda had simply forgotten and just needed a little reminder. Finally, you realized she was purposely avoiding the topic. If you texted her about it, she wouldn’t read it. If you called her about, she’d suddenly be too busy to talk. Talking about it face to face didn’t even work because then she’d flat out ignore you. You didn’t want to start an argument so early into the relationship, but you were starting to get frustrated. Why would she start something so important, tell you about it, and then flake out halfway? It wasn’t fair to you. Rather than be mature — because it clearly wasn’t working — you decided to be just as difficult.
You didn’t want to go too far, just teach Wanda a lesson. Your plan was simple. Just don’t communicate. Everything else would come naturally. Exams were around the corner and you wouldn’t have as much time to spend with Wanda. It wasn’t the worst you could do. If Wanda truly couldn’t handle it, she would probably just use the connection and figure out what was wrong. It was going to hurt you more than it would piss off Wanda, but it needed to be done. That’s what you tell yourself at least. You needed some time to focus on college. Though you were doing fine, your textbooks had been collecting dust since Wanda entered your life.
The first few days fly by pretty smoothly. It pained you to actively ignore Wanda, but you kept your ground. You got a few texts from Wanda, though she never said it, she was obviously waiting for the sign to stop by the gate and pick you up. It never came. When she started calling you, the conversations were kept short and rather flat. It took a whole week for her to start using the connection against you. She seemed more focused on your lack of self care. Wanda would encourage you to take a break or drink water, and you begrudgingly listened. However, you’d conveniently go deaf whenever she asked you to call her properly. When sweet words proved to be ineffective, she moved on to seducing you. Just when your brain had begun to understand an equation or the importance of some lame historical event, unexplained erotic thoughts would fill your head. Sometimes it would be vivid images of what she wanted to do to you. Other times it was the ghostly feeling of your lover’s hand slipping between your legs and having her way with you. Eventually, you had caved.
Just like the first time you’d met. You stood out in front of the gate waiting for your beloved neck romancer to reveal herself.
“I missed you.”
Your irritated facade crumbled before you could even use it. Wanda looked sickly. Vampires were usually pale creatures, but Wanda looked like paper. You swallowed the hurt in your throat and looked away from her. “I’ve…been busy.” You tried your hardest to keep tough. Despite that, your legs carried you closer to the gate. Even with all the anger settled in your soul, you let Wanda hold your hand in between the bars of the gate. You couldn’t help but shudder as the ice cold fingers grazed over your knuckles. “You made me really upset.” Even when Wanda let out the most pathetic whine you’d ever heard, you refused to look at her.
Even in her weakened state, your apparent coldness caused an anger to boil up inside her. “Don’t be like that, doll, you know I need you,” She whispered softly to cover up her frustration. Wanda was angry. She partly blamed herself for not handling you when your poor behavior could have been labeled as mere brattiness, but now you really started to push her buttons. “Look at me, you made me this way. I can’t be without you for too long, it makes me sick.” She chewed on her bottom lip to suppress a smile — she could feel you loosening up. “Just spend a few days with me. I promise we’ll finish it once I feel better.” When you finally looked at her, she flashed you a weak smile. “You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”
Your breath hitched in your throat. Something felt off. It wasn’t just the way Wanda spoke to you, but the way she held you. Wanda had inhuman strength, all vampires did, but she never failed to be gentle with you. That gentleness was nowhere to be found at that moment. It felt like Wanda would snap your arm in half if you had simply moved too fast. “I-I don’t know Wanda, I got a lot of work to do.” Your heart nearly stopped. For the slightest second, you felt Wanda’s grip on your arm tighten to an uncomfortable. “I wanna finish the connection, but I just need to get a few things done.” It was a lie, well, your best attempt at one. You couldn’t lie to Wanda. Not only did it not feel right, you literally couldn’t. You could feel Wanda invading your head.
Wanda clenched her jaw. To say she was disappointed was an understatement. She looked into your eyes expectantly, waiting for you to apologize for the lie and tell her the truth yourself. Of course, you don’t and her sick little facade fell almost immediately. She yanked your arm forward, forcing your face flush against the bars of the gate separating you two. “You’re a really bad lair, doll,” She all but growled at you, her accent heavily distorted her words. Her eyes zeroed in on your bare wrist. There were a hundred ways to finish the connection. Biting you was easily the most painful of them all. She never wanted to hurt you, but you had hurt her way more. “Do you want this connection that bad? I’ll give it to you.”
Before you could even process what Wanda had even meant, she bit directly into your wrist. The skin took what felt like hours to finally break and you could feel her fangs dig into unprotected muscle.
You frantically pulled at your arm, hoping the movement was enough to free yourself. Yet, it seemed no matter how many times you banged Wanda’s head against the steel bars, her teeth didn’t budge. “Wanda, please, I’m sorry! Just stop,” You pleaded and continued your attempts to break free. You feel the blood being physically sucked from your veins. The strength to keep pulling and screaming quickly disappeared. Eventually, your knees buckled under your own weight and the only thing keeping you up was Wanda’s grip. “I’m sorry,” You sobbed out. Nausea took over your body and you felt lightheaded.
After what felt like an eternity, Wanda had finally let go. With your blood still covering her chin, she forced you to look up at her. “This was your choice, doll, know you have to live with it.” She leaned down to kiss the gaping wound her bite had left behind. It healed just as fast as she made it. She continued to pepper kisses up and down your forearm as if it would make you magically forget the horrific pain she just inflicted on you. “I never wanna hurt you like that again, but you left me no choice. You know I love you.” It was shocking to you how she could say something so sweet moments after hurting you.
It hurt. It stung like a million needles forcing their way under your skin and straight to your heart. The mind numbing pain at your wrist was nothing compared to how much your heart had been ripped out your chest and spat on. You'd given this woman everything. Your love, your trust, your virginity. Yet, it wasn't enough to stop her from hurting you. The worst part of it all was that you couldn't help but feel like it was your own fault.
"I know you might be upset and don't wanna leave just yet, but you need to rest up. I don't want you to sleep outside in the cold."
You sniffled, but leaned into the now warm hand that slipped through the gate. "'m sorry," You mumbled weakly. You let Wanda's thumb caress your cheek. The nausea and pain still overwhelmed your body, but you were suddenly eager to make Wanda happy again. "I won't be mean anymore…"
Wanda smiled and kissed your wrist one last time before letting you go to stand on your own. "I know you won't."
After finishing the connection, Wanda didn’t contact you for quite some time. You didn’t bother lying to yourself this time. Wanda was ignoring you the same way you had ignored her. That was your punishment. You were thrown to the wolves and left to figure out the connection on your own. The vomiting, the lack of energy, and the unshakable feeling of being alone no matter how many people you were around. Any autonomy you had before was gone. Now, you were a piece of a puzzle and would forever be incomplete if Wanda didn’t come back. You were her doll. What good was a doll without someone to play with it?
You had barely made it through your exams and suddenly your parents were talking about going off on a vacation. They hadn’t been oblivious to your sudden sickness and insisted that you come with them. Even if it was a work trip for them and you were too sick to enjoy the nice weather, they couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you alone while you were clearly unwell. Keeping everything from your parents was easily the worst part of everything. They were so happy to see you actually enter a relationship, even if you had kept it secret. Now, they were forced to stand by as you let that same person absolutely wreck your emotional stability. When you lied to your parents, it hurt like nothing else. You didn’t keep secrets from your parents. They loved you and you loved them. If loving them meant keeping them out of the loop, then that’s what you would do. It took a lot to convince your parents to go on without you, but you managed.
You almost immediately regretted it. The second your parents left, you were overcome with dread and more sickness. By then, you had come to terms with how exactly your sickness worked. You learned to stop whenever your vision began to spot and black out. Ignore the way the lights flickered and swung around because no one but you could see it. Don’t get too caught up in the ghostly touches because they’ll disappear the second you start to enjoy them. The nausea only stopped when you started to cough up blood. Most importantly, you ignored the warmth that loomed over you. It was just an illusion. No matter how many times it held your hair back or soothed your aching back — it would disappear the second you turned your head. The only thing that brought you any sort of comfort was the faux leather jacket Wanda let you borrow after the first time you spent the night at her house. It didn’t smell like her anymore and you couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or not.
You found yourself hopelessly laid out on your bathroom floor. You had lost track of the amount of times you’d thrown up, but it felt less painful than normal. You glanced up at the flickering light bulbs before resting your head against the rim of the toilet seat. It would’ve taken too much energy to get up and go find food. You weren’t even sure you would be able to keep anything down. For a moment, you even considered just falling asleep on the toilet. At least the cold, unforgiving bathroom tile would ease the burning pain while you slept. For a moment, you felt nothing — and it was the best you had felt in weeks. Then the ghostly sensations returned and you were reminded of just how hellish your existence was.
“Look at me, doll. I’m right here.”
You shuddered at the nickname, but didn't respond. The arms that wrapped around your waist and pulled you back were so warm and protective, you almost thought they were real. The grip on your waist tightened, forcing your attention. “You’re not real, you’ll disappear the second I turn around.” You wiggled closer to the toilet, only to be pulled back against the warmth behind you. It knocked the wind out of you, but you were too weak to fight back.”Please just leave me. You won’t be there if I turn around.”
Wanda let out a disapproving huff. Part of her had expected you to just crumble up and fall into her arms, but this was only a minor setback. “Come on, you’re too sick to stay by yourself. Just come back home with me.” Her voice was soft and sweet, a direct contrast to the strength she made known. She was not above forcing you to go with her, but she still wanted to play hero. She waited a considerably long time for you to answer, but she never got one. Wanda sighed a second time and forced your body to rotate so you were facing her.Wanda had never seen you look so weak before. You were alway so confident and outgoing, but now you just looked broken. She loved it. She rested her forehead against yours and cupped your face. “Look, I know I haven’t been the nicest as of late, but you hurt me.” Her hands slid down your face and all the way to your hands. “We both hurt each other and now we have to fix each other. Isn’t that fair?”
You were so caught up in the fact that Wanda wanted you back, you don’t think about much else. You didn’t consider how the way she hurt you was infinitely worse than how you hurt her. You didn’t think about how crazy it was that you were so trusting of a woman who had attacked you only a few weeks ago. You nodded frantically before wrapping your arms around Wanda’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, I was just really mad at you! I- I didn’t know you’d get sick,” Your words flew out your mouth too fast for anyone to understand. The second you inhaled Wanda’s scent, all your problems seemed to fade away. The urge to puke your guts out had magically disappeared and the migraine you had from being so dehydrated was gone. “I love you so much, I won’t ever leave you again.”
Wanda pulled you into her lap and stood up. “I love you too, doll.” As much as she wanted to take you to her house, you were too weak. She carried you to your bedroom and laid you down. “Let’s get you cleaned up first.” She bent down and immediately began to unzip your pants. It hurt to think about how much pain you would’ve had to be in to forget to change into some proper house clothes. That wasn’t to say she regretted her choice, you deserved to be punished for acting out. “You have to trust me more,” She said casually. Once she had pulled off your jeans, she reached for your arm. “I knew if I did it that way it would hurt. I wasn’t avoiding it, I just didn’t want it to hurt.” It made her heart swell when you started to sniffle. You were easily the cutest thing she’d ever laid eyes on. She leaned up and kissed your cheek. “Awe doll, don’t cry, you were too needy to think it through. That’s not your fault.” Wanda pulled your head to her chest and softly stroked your hair.
After your tears dried and your breathing evened out, Wanda let go of you. “Can you spend the night, please? I don’t wanna be alone,” You whispered as you gripped onto Wanda’s sleeve. The fear that you would wake up and Wanda would disappear was very real to you. It wasn’t even about the hellish sickness, you missed. “I’ll even cook dinner, just don’t leave me…” Your big doe eyes were heavily contrasted by the heavy eye bags under them, your hair was a tossiled mess, and your cheeks were stained with tear streaks. You hated looking like that. Wanda spent hours making you the best you could be. You missed that. “I’m your doll, forever.” Your cheeks burned at such a confession, but it felt right. No one else but Wanda could fix you.
Wanda smiled down at you. “I promise I’ll always take good care of you.” She pressed her lips against your cheek before squeezing them tightly. “You mean the world to me, never forget that.” She moved her hands down to unbutton your shirt. She was more than a little unhappy to see the tight fabric wrapped around your chest, but she decided to hold her tongue at that moment. “You’re really hopeless without me,” She whispered to herself. Her eyebrows raised in shock when you nodded in agreement. Normally, you sputter out a half baked attempt at a disagreement and list off all the “grown up things” you had managed to do the days prior. It was but a small taste of how obedient you could be, but Wanda was already addicted to it. Her brain had already kicked into overdrive thinking about how she could possibly go further.
“Is something wrong?"
Wanda looked down at you. She had somehow managed to strip you without fully paying attention. Her eyes raked over your bare body several times. For a moment, she considered taking you right then and there. However, her self control had won that battle. “Right, shower. Then, I’ll cook something for you.” She squeezed your thigh two times, signaling for you to stand up.
You pouted at the thought of her cooking for you in your own house, but you decided to let it go. You were just Wanda’s little doll, all you had to do was sit around and look nice.
drabble (0.8k), fluff with some angsty undertones, singular mention of alcohol
Chuuya’s hand is warm in yours as your run your thumb slowly along his knuckles, taking your time to caress to the very tips of every single finger before working all the way up to his wrist. His skin is rough beneath your lips, but in a pleasant way, as you pull his hand up to press a kiss across the fight-worn scars on the back and he releases a shaky breath at the action. It’s enough to set your heart aflutter, that quavering exhale of his, even after hearing it so many times before.
You’ve endeavoured to do this to him whenever you can, to fluster him with such tender affections, because the way his eyes cloud over with adoration as he gazes across at you, how the path of his gaze traces the shape of your lips longingly when you’re so close but just out of his reach, drives you wild.
Moments like these, where you’ve sequestered yourselves away from the prying eyes of the world, are the most precious to you. They are the moments that you can see your beloved acting so unabashedly himself around you, without the cocksure facade he brandishes around the others. The moments where he is vulnerable with you, where he lets you run your fingers across his hands and kiss the scars across his knuckles and let you hear him as he exhales in that specific unguarded way that sends sparks through your bloodstream.
“You always know how to make me feel so... human,” he murmurs against your cheek, brushing his lips across your skin.
“You are human,” you affirm, relishing in the feeling as your eyes drift shut. “You are so human, every single thing about you is. It’s what I love about you.”
The words have escaped you before you realise it. They tumble so naturally, as if you’ve uttered them a million times, when in reality they’ve never had the chance to hang in the air between the two of you before now. But they feel right when your lips form around them, comfortable even, as you share the sentiment in the quiet room you’ve found yourselves in this evening.
So you don’t scramble to take them back like you might have done in the past. You leave them there, heavy in the space between you, heartbeat rising in anticipation.
And he turns away from you as he speaks.
“I don’t think I really know how this whole ‘love’ thing works,” Chuuya admits with a reluctant sigh.
In that brief moment, as you open your eyes again and watch his expression turn downcast and distraught, you want nothing more than to cradle his face and kiss him until he’s smiling and laughing for you again.
He’s always shied away from the words that come alongside these soft exchanges, as if the act of speaking them into existence makes it all a little too real for him. Actions do more than enough for him, they let you know all he needs to tell you. And you know how he feels about you, because you know he’d never let anyone else be like this with him.
There’s something in the intimacy of his touch, in the way he eagerly chases after your lips whenever you kiss him and the sober intoxication he falls into whenever you pull away. Something in the brush of his shoulder against yours as you walk side by side through the streets of Yokohama, not quite comfortable enough to hold your hand in public but needing to have you close. In the late nights he spends with you, talking aimlessly over a half-finished bottle of wine about things that interest you both, dreaming of a sweeter life that could have happened in some other, kinder reality.
You know that he loves you too.
You frown, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “I don’t really think I know, either… but I think that’s okay. Nobody really has to know what they’re doing with this sort of thing.”
It seems to be enough for him. You see some of the light return to his eyes, the same fond look he usually only gives you when he thinks you’re not looking at him.
“Okay,” he nods, squeezing back. “We can figure it out together.”
He kisses you properly for the first time that night, so full of all the pent-up want that had been building up within him all evening, and you can feel what he’s trying to tell you through every single press of his lips against yours. It’s needier than his usual kisses, hands reaching to grasp tight into the flesh of your hips, to pull you impossibly closer towards him.
And Chuuya mumbles those three little words against your lips between kisses, so quietly you could have missed it, but you hold onto them like a lifeline.