Thank you @the-prince-of-tides for the most incredible packages this week!!! Things have been bad this week/a while and this is so fucking kind and generous and nice, it means so much to me that you put so much care into everything you send.
Zelda inspecting the absolutely beautiful packages. Inspection: passed.
INCREDIBLE ART PIECES. ALEK. I LOVE THEM. They are glittery! They glow in the dark! They are beautiful, rich colors with so much texture! METALLICS. These are so perfect, I cannot wait to hang them in my home! I finally found the perfect spot for the mountains, I can't wait! These make me so happy, thank you for taking my commission!!!
So many cool pamphlets about animals and art and flowers and just so much cool shit. And then! Activities for my little students!!! They are going to love this! Thank you!
Little jars of waterfall water and rocks??? So tiny and perfect??? I love these, they look so beautiful in the light, they are gorgeous.
The incredible, the legendary... SOAPHENGE.
Not pictured: cool animals bones!!!!!!!!!! Zelda was inspecting them too much so they have been put away for now lol
Thank you!!! 🖤 👽 🖤 👽 🖤 👽
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Here's my little essay about King Arlan (and a little bit about Baldur) and their complicated relationship with ruling effectively.
Arlan, the (overall) very good king
King Arlan is keeping the kingdom running well
In the very first lore tablet, you learn that, "King Arlan Valleros VII currently sits on the throne. Known as the Gentle King, Arlan has reigned over a period of great peace and prosperity."
Periods of great peace and prosperity are not easy! It's a combination of luck, delegating effectively, and putting in a ton of administrative work to make sure the laws and policies work for the unique situation your nation is in at this moment. That stuff does not happen on accident.
Based on Aerin's statements that he never really saw his father, I'm assuming Arlan keeps busy with actually running the country. We never see Arlan show interest in hunting or any vices that would take similar amounts of time. I also don't get the sense that Arlan and Baldur are always like, hanging out. And we don't interact with many administrators, making him seem pretty hands-on.
King Arlan knows how to maintain an image
When you return from the Shadow Realm...
King Arlan is very savvy. Maybe he's sincere, who knows! But publicly honoring the heroes who saved your ass is a great way to get goodwill for yourself and make it so you no longer owe those heroes. Your party puts in quite a lot of work to save Morella and King Arlan just lets you take some weapons and armor no one was using anyway. Doesn't even send a single guard to help. Unlike Book 2...
Before the battle he does a great job making it seem like he's doing you a favor. Like you asked for his help and he's magnanimously granting it, even though the Ash Empire is very much coming to destroy his capital!
Which brings us to his take on Aerin being gone (assuming he was imprisoned previously)...
This is an awful thing to say about your son! But it's actually a pretty cunning move as a king. Arlan was absolutely right- his best move was to let Aerin go and hope he got killed. He gets to eliminate a problem making him look bad to the court (his son who committed murder and treason in a very public manner) and keep his reputation as a nice guy. He's the 'Gentle King,' not the 'Strong King' or 'Decisive King.'
And in the very unlikely (in his estimation) chance Aerin did come back alive and looking heroic, Arlan could keep him imprisoned indefinitely. Or (much less likely) he could say Aerin was corrupted before and use his success as an excuse to get one of his kids back in the line of succession. That's good for your ego and can help prevent a succession crisis if there isn't a super clear heir in place (which seems to be the case currently).
Overall, (and completely separate from him being a horrendous father) it seems to be like Arlan is actually a very good king. But there is one part of the job he sucks at...
Arlan's fatal flaw is that he is terrible at reading people.
'Baldur's great, no concerns!'
Obviously, we know that thinking that Baldur is going to be a good king is stupid.
But why didn't King Arlan know that? Aerin (who does seem to be pretty good at reading people) says he's, "handsome, bold, outgoing." Those things are all great for winning people over!
But not nearly enough to actually run a country. We know Baldur's not really even trying to have any of the practical, administrative skills that requires. And this system does not seem set up to function with a figurehead.
You know that tutor must have clocked that Baldur was asleep! It was probably common knowledge at the palace that Baldur never learned a damn thing. Either Arlan didn't realize his heir was not gaining any practical ruling skills (bad sign) or he didn't care (also a bad sign).
Even monarchs who aren't invested in their kids as people are usually very invested in their education. Because that's how you make sure the wheels don't fall off once you die, ending your glorious bloodline.
Aerin tells us that Baldur would never contradict their father. So Arlan absolutely could have forced him to read a damn book. But for some reason, he didn't.
'My second son sucks...
Arlan truly thinks that Aerin is useless. Which is a wild stance to take after you watched him kill big strong Baldur in a single blow and open a portal to the Shadow Realm.
Arlan got there a little late for Aerin's full villain monologue. But the second your party disappears through the portal, the smart thing would have been to determine if Aerin did any more damage. It didn't feel like it to Aerin, but he had tremendous access to people and resources. For all King Arlan knows, this could have been just one piece of a bigger plot.
And it was! Aerin admitted to corrupting dozens of people, usually very connected people. That's a ticking time bomb just waiting to cause more damage. One it doesn't seem like King Arlan ever looks into.
Arlan seems to just assume that Aerin can't cause damage because he's... not physically imposing? Because knowledge and connections are never a threat to power?
Pre-crisis, Aerin also talks about trying to smooth over Baldur's brash decisions. Having someone to soften the blow of harsh or unpopular decisions is absolutely crucial for any ruler, but especially one like Baldur. Yet Arlan doesn't seem to have any awareness of that either.
So Arlan at least picked up some vibes from Aerin that he was... something. Troubled could be 'miserable,' but this statement makes it feel more 'he creeps me out.'
-and I'm not worried about that.'
Even if Aerin was incompetent or messed up, King Arlan should have been concerned about that! Baldur is very strong and presumably good at not dying. But he throws himself into dangerous situations all the time for fun! There is a very good reason most monarchs don't stop at one kid if they can help it.
History is absolutely littered with examples of people who inherited a throne and ran things into the ground because they didn't have the ability to manage the amount of power they had effectively. If Arlan thought Aerin could fall into that category, he should have had people working around the clock to get him up to standard just in case.
Instead, King Arlan fully ignored Aerin, letting him just haunt the archives like a depressed ghost.
'The Heroes of Morella obviously agree with me, they're important!'
King Arlan makes the assumption, based on your party's status, that you'll agree with him on the 'complicated politics' of executing your own kid. Because you're not 'commoners.' Your party includes one elven noble, one orcish (until like 2 days ago) princess, and one human with a very prominent position in the Temple. Mal is more under the radar, but he was still proclaimed a hero. And your character is the most Hero of all.
So Arlan basically does that thing some people do where they trash talk a marginalized group, because everyone in the room looks like they belong to the majority group, so why would they object? (Never a good look.)
But Mal and Nia are both, at least to you, visibly angry with Arlan for being excited his son is (presumably) dead.
Still, no effort to backtrack or soften the blow from King Arlan. Just sails right over the dude's head that Mal looks pissed and Nia is using her damn customer service voice.
Seriously, King Arlan should probably keep an eye out for Mal... Not a big monarchist, that one.
Bonus Baldur, the tremendous idiot
The fact that Baldur thinks he's the first of his name, when "Baldur Valleros" literally founded his dynasty, is incredibly funny to me. Such ignorance. Such hubris.
I am not about to give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe Baldur I went straight to being king, so our dumbass is the first "Prince Baldur Valleros." His father is Arlan VII, there's no way no other king has named their heir after the founder of the dynasty. More evidence that he has never once learned a thing.
(Don't worry about Kade- he took a shadow lance to the face but he's fine. He's mostly fine. Feel free to look at my older posts if you're curious how that went down.)
Baldur seems to make the same assumptions about people based on their status as his father. I don't think it's an accident that when Baldur wants to tell gross stories (including the phrase "slum girls"), he immediately grabs Mal, the human man. Mal isn't all that subtle about his disdain for the nobility, but he still looks like the best one for Baldur to win over. Mal is also the one who steps up and negotiates for the group, making him look like the leader- even more Baldur catnip.
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Claudia: “Poor Unfortunate Souls”
I admit, some of my actions have been awful
Dangerous and even downright vile
But at the root of each is love
To protect, push come to shove
Can you blame me for employing all my guile?
And I luckily know quite a lot of magic
Except it isn't luck, I always come prepared
I really hope you see the light
'Cause I'm fearsome in a fight
Even a dragon learned that it ought to be scared
Poor unfortunate souls
Their gifts, their charms
The world is full of wonders
That can help improve our lives
Surely that's worth a little harm
Those poor unfortunate souls
So cute, so sad
That their magic is so potent
Never know what you might need
It's just practical, not that bad
I've been hurt, abandoned, crossed
But I've sunk too high a cost
In blood and sweat and tears toward my goals
For love cannot be swayed
Even if the price is paid
In poor unfortunate souls
The impossible is possible, just tricky
My victory's no if, it is a when
I would give my arm and leg
I would make a child beg
But I'm never losing anyone again
Some might say that loss must be accepted
That there are things we simply can't decide
Though the sentiment is nice
I'm afraid it won't suffice
It's she who gives it all who turns the tide
Come on, you poor unfortunate souls!
Little king, clever sleuth
I know you have the information
And I'll squeeze it from your lungs
So make this quick - tell the truth!
You poor unfortunate souls
It's sad, but true
I just want to cross a bridge
It's not my fault this is the toll
If you help me save my family
I swear I'll leave you whole
Terry, how cool do I look right now?
Your girl is on a roll!
These poor unfortunate souls!
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