#the punchline is the title smash

[thelensofyashunews]

THE NEW TITAN OF UK RAP NEMZZZ DROPS DEBUT MIXTAPE DO NOT DISTURB

Manchester rapper Nemzzz today (Friday 15th March) unveils his much-anticipated debut mixtape DO NOT DISTURB. The 11-track tape is Nemzzz’s most expansive drop to date, an exploration of how the young artist is shaped by his upbringing and his fame. DO NOT DISTURB is available in physical format on CD & cassette in a first for the Mancunion.

Marrying bars laced with Nemzzz’s wicked sense of humour, earworm hooks and a raw soulful-drill production - DO NOT DISTURB is set to cement Nemzzz’s status as the new titan of UK Rap. Opening with late night confession ‘REFLECTION’, Nemzzz raps with real bite about the pitfalls of social media activism. New single ‘ETA’ sees Nemzzz unite with German rap heavyweight Luciano, trading bars over a siren-like beat. The new cut arrives with a video shot by DonProd in Frankfurt whilst Nemzzz was in town to appear at Luciano’s stadium show. 

Recent single ‘PTSD’ splices a haunting vocal flip with a laid-back production from frequent collaborator Zel, as Nemzzz turns teacher once more - speaking on how he uses his music as catharsis to process his feelings. The cut landed last month to a co-sign from Central Cee. The shimmering, jazz inflected ‘L’S’ arrived in January to acclaim from the likes of The Observer, Fader, CRACK, NME spins across BBC Radio 1, 1Xtra and more.

Atmospheric, intense cut ‘DOOM’ gives way to the relaxed groove of playful love song ‘STAR SIGN’. On ‘NEED YOU’, Nemzzz rides out the ups and downs of a toxic relationship. ‘REASSURANCE’ melds ghostly vocal samples with a stripped back production as Nemzzz reassures his girl he’d drop her off for her ‘nails, hair, lash appointment too’. Nemzzz picks up the pace on ‘VENICE’ featuring rising rapper JayG. Title track ‘DND’ details how the run-up to the project was filled with hostile haters and the need to cut off day one friends. Rounding out the tape is ‘MONEY AND VIBES’, which sees Nemzzz bring UK flavour to a flip of Justin Timberlake’s ‘Rock Your Body’. The single topped the A list at 1Xtra on release last year and continues to rack up over +1M streams a week. 

Nemzzz is one of the most exciting breakout rap talents of recent years. An old head on young shoulders, Nemzzz is relatable in a different way than a lot of his rap peers; driven less by punchlines about Birkin bags and more by the challenge of helping his young fans navigate their way through growing pains. The rapper is shaped by his tough upbringing in Gorton, using his music to reflect on his experiences including heartbreak, fake friends, financial literacy, finding your own path, and managing mental health amid social media addiction.

The DO NOT DISTURB tape follows a massive 2023 for the young star with a consistent slate of releases including his debut EP Nemzzz Type Beat (which was pulled together in just 17 days in a flex of his innate talents) alongside a string of singles including ‘Therapy’ (Spotify Rap UK Cover) and ‘8AM IN MANNY’ which landed to props from some of the biggest rappers in the world - Drake and Lil Yachty. Last year saw Nemzzz deliver his first sold-out headline tour alongside performances at festivals including Glastonbury, Ibiza Rocks and more. 

Nemzzz will be heading out on his second headline tour this Spring with dates across the UK and Ireland. He will be kicking off in Dublin on 30th April and culminating in a homecoming show on 7th May in Manchester. With three dates already sold out - the tour is set to be another huge smash for the young star. TICKETS/MORE INFO

Since bursting onto the scene at the tender age of 14, Nemzzz has relentlessly chipped away at his craft – building steady buzz amongst the industry, media and fans alike. With over 180M combined streams in 2023, 9 Million TikTok views, tips including BBC Radio 1xtra's Hot For 2023, Amazon Music x Hunger Magazine Ones To Watch, No Signal Class of ’23, Best Newcomer Nominee MOBO Awards 2022, plaudits from Pitchfork, The Face, DAZED, The Guardian, HYPEBEAST, CLASH, Complex UK and NME - Nemzzz is making serious moves.

#nemzzz #do not disturb #dnd #uk rapper #uk #united kingdom #england #music #youtube #spotify #artist #musician #soundcloud #rapper #culture #rap #art #drill #drill rap #drill music #uk drill #underground hip hop #hip hop #Spotify

[shadethechangingman]

forgot i wanted 2 start crossposting my liveposts on tumlr again but i keep being drawn back 2 using twitter...

tuesday spoilers /

KON AND KENAN HANGING OUT HIIIII i was really worried abt the inclusion of kenan in action comics but it was pretty good for him specifically

hater mode activated:

sauvage or we her name is draws powergirl shoulders too thin. i dont mind the long tights but the decision to make the cape into a jacket and then keep her cape-holding shoulderpad on but just have it hanging there is like. OK. fine. sure. its bad i dont like it

janin making helena literally #000000 white in all his covers and i keep going “oh ok its batcat helena though” and then opening the comic and remembering no she is supposed to have dark skin here also

“thaddeus brown was wiped from history but he was a superhero in the 1940s and had a daughter” cosmo wanda i wish every fourth world character dies and goes to comic limbo forever

we met her last week and i made fun of her then also but doctor fates sidekick thats just girl superhero klarion. which is exactly what klarienne was last year on earth 11. except to truly “original the character do not steal” it johns made her green and the cat is a broom instead

ok ive only read 3 1/2 titles so far and punchline is consistently terrible but (hater mode deactivated) this specific panel from punchline is good, i cant imagine drawing a switch being smashed on the ground to look that good

[ID: a Nintendo Switch being smashed on the ground. Text bubble says “We have a club meeting to attend.” End ID]

#justixw league comix

[linuxgamenews]

Dunk Dunk: A Fresh and Fun Party Experience for Linux Gamers

Dunk Dunk multiplayer action basketball game is coming to Linux, Mac, and Windows PC. Thanks to the skilled folks at Badgerhammer Limited who are bringing this experience to life. Working to make its way onto Steam. Alright, here's a breakdown of the new hit, Dunk Dunk. You're chilling at home, looking for something fresh and fun to dive into, and there it is – Dunk Dunk, due to hit the scene. It's not just another title to add to your collection; it's a whole new level of party experiences for Linux. Trust me, you'll want to hear this. First off, let's talk accessibility. Dunk Dunk is designed with the idea that anyone, and I mean anyone, can play it. Your little cousin, your grandma, but you get the idea. It’s a breeze to pick up, but hold on – it's not just a walk in the park. Underneath that easy-going exterior is a beast of a challenge. We're talking about a skill curve that goes from 'just for fun' to 'holy cow?' The mechanics are something else. Ever heard of a literal block system? Or 360 arm control? Yeah, they've thrown in some features to keep you on your toes. It’s like learning to dribble with style – it starts simple, but there’s a world of tricks to master.

Dunk Dunk - Trailer

Now, let's paint the picture: the arenas are next level. Since you can throw hoops in places where gravity's just a suggestion. Since each setting is more mind-blowing than the last, and the goal celebrations? They're the cherry on top. And the characters – they’re also a riot! Each one's like a punchline to a joke you didn't know you were in. Here's the heartwarming bit. Dunk Dunk isn’t some big studio's brainchild; it's the passion project of two dads. Two guys, juggling life and fatherhood, poured five years into making this. They have zero budget but a galaxy of creativity. Every element shows their dedication – from gameplay to those wacky character designs. The character creator and team/player name generator are certainly a nice touch. They’ve made sure everyone feels at home in Dunk Dunk. So whatever your style or background, you're represented. The best part? This isn’t just a game; it's a get-together starter. It brings people together – family, friends, whoever – for some genuine, laugh-out-loud fun. Bottom line: Dunk Dunk is the multiplayer action basketball mashup of the century. Think Smash Bros' wild brawls meets Rocket League's high-octane matches. Due to rock our worlds on Linux, Mac, and Windows on June 18th, 2024. Get ready for it, because this isn’t just a game – it's a party waiting to happen. Wishlist it on Steam.

#dunk dunk #multiplayer #action basketball #linux #gaming news #ubuntu #badgerhammer limited #mac #windows #pc #Youtube

[my-weird-news]

😱 Unbelievable! Woman Confesses to Bribing RMV for No Road Tests!

A License to Chuckle: The Driver's License Fiasco So, picture this: a woman walks into the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles, cash in hand, a glint of mischief in her eyes. Neta Centio, the mastermind behind our comedic tale, has pleaded guilty to quite the caper. She decided that road tests were so passé, darling! Who needs them anyway? Instead, she thought it would be a hoot to bribe an RMV employee into granting licenses to folks who wouldn't know a gearshift from a banana peel! Centio, a true connoisseur of shortcuts, turned the Brockton branch of the RMV into her personal playground. From July 2020 to April 2021, she sweet-talked a road test examiner into utter submission. You know, the classic "I'll scratch your back if you just magically make these driver's licenses appear" kind of deal. But hold on, here comes the pièce de résistance: these aspiring road warriors hadn't even graced the testing center with their presence. Nope, not even a faint whiff of burnt clutch or shaky steering. They were probably at home, watching YouTube videos titled "How to Parallel Park: A Mythical Quest." And guess how Centio paid for these fabulous faux licenses? Drumroll, please... with CashApp! Because nothing screams "sophisticated criminal operation" like using a mobile payment service. "Venmo is too mainstream, darling. Let's go with CashApp, it's the chic choice." Oh, but the hilarity doesn't end there! When Centio's little scheme was sniffed out like week-old cheese, she had the audacity to tell her co-conspirator, the road test examiner, to keep their lips sealed. "Don't say nothing about the CashApp... Break the phone!" I can just imagine the examiner's baffled expression, frantically wondering if smashing a phone was the latest escape plan. Now, hold onto your seatbelts because the punchline is a doozy. Our comedic criminal could be trading in her act for a stint in the big house. Yep, up to 20 years behind bars, and a hefty sum of more than $20,000 waving goodbye. Looks like her shortcut-loving ways have hit a rather significant speed bump. But let's not forget the supporting cast of this comedy gold mine! Remember those four workers who got the boot after letting more than 2,000 people slide into driver's licenses without lifting a parking brake? Oh, the laughs just keep coming. One of them, the former manager of the Brockton branch, got sentenced to four months in prison for his part in this slapstick extravaganza. I can only imagine the shenanigans that went on behind those RMV doors. So there you have it, folks! The Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles: where road tests are optional, bribes are accepted via modern apps, and the comedic chaos reigns supreme. Remember, when life gives you a road test, just bribe your way to the driver's seat! 🚗💨# A License to Chuckle: The Driver's License Fiasco So, picture this: a woman walks into the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles, cash in hand, a glint of mischief in her eyes. Neta Centio, the mastermind behind our comedic tale, has pleaded guilty to quite the caper. She decided that road tests were so passé, darling! Who needs them anyway? Instead, she thought it would be a hoot to bribe an RMV employee into granting licenses to folks who wouldn't know a gearshift from a banana peel! Centio, a true connoisseur of shortcuts, turned the Brockton branch of the RMV into her personal playground. From July 2020 to April 2021, she sweet-talked a road test examiner into utter submission. You know, the classic "I'll scratch your back if you just magically make these driver's licenses appear" kind of deal. But hold on, here comes the pièce de résistance: these aspiring road warriors hadn't even graced the testing center with their presence. Nope, not even a faint whiff of burnt clutch or shaky steering. They were probably at home, watching YouTube videos titled "How to Parallel Park: A Mythical Quest." And guess how Centio paid for these fabulous faux licenses? Drumroll, please... with CashApp! Because nothing screams "sophisticated criminal operation" like using a mobile payment service. "Venmo is too mainstream, darling. Let's go with CashApp, it's the chic choice." Oh, but the hilarity doesn't end there! When Centio's little scheme was sniffed out like week-old cheese, she had the audacity to tell her co-conspirator, the road test examiner, to keep their lips sealed. "Don't say nothing about the CashApp... Break the phone!" I can just imagine the examiner's baffled expression, frantically wondering if smashing a phone was the latest escape plan. Now, hold onto your seatbelts because the punchline is a doozy. Our comedic criminal could be trading in her act for a stint in the big house. Yep, up to 20 years behind bars, and a hefty sum of more than $20,000 waving goodbye. Looks like her shortcut-loving ways have hit a rather significant speed bump. But let's not forget the supporting cast of this comedy gold mine! Remember those four workers who got the boot after letting more than 2,000 people slide into driver's licenses without lifting a parking brake? Oh, the laughs just keep coming. One of them, the former manager of the Brockton branch, got sentenced to four months in prison for his part in this slapstick extravaganza. I can only imagine the shenanigans that went on behind those RMV doors. So there you have it, folks! The Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles: where road tests are optional, bribes are accepted via modern apps, and the comedic chaos reigns supreme. Remember, when life gives you a road test, just bribe your way to the driver's seat! 🚗💨 Read the full article

[kotilyrics]

Kweku Smoke - Smash Or Pass

Kweku Smoke – Smash Or Pass

Kweku Smoke – Smash Or Pass Mp3 Download. Be blessed with real drill song from Kweku Smoke, Ghanaian highly rated rapper, titled “Smash Or Pass” mp3 download produced by Atown TSB. ALSO CHECKOUT : Lasmid – Friday Night Stream to enjoy the classic lyrics and punchlines as you listen to “Smash Or Pass by Kweku Smoke” housed under his newly released Ep tagged “Big Shmoke”. Listen and share with us…

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[fakahiphop]

Hip Hop Music - Hip Hop Is Alive

What has happened to hip hop music? I have seen a disgraceful turn for the worse on my tv screen, but let's review some real hip hop music. Fakahiphop.com

We will stick to only albums dropped recently. Of course, I highly recommend of all of these albums. I'm not going to criticize any of the albums. Simply because there is already a million people who have done so - with or without justification.

Let's get started with the "Conscience Rapper" Common. I wish we didn't have to use that particular terminology to categorize the rapper because all rappers should be conscience. It is basically the definition of hip-hop.

Common - Finding Forever

From the incredible "unforgivable" all the way to the radio smash hits, "The People" and "The Game" (no similarity to the west coast rapper at all) ", this album is worth your purchase.

Common puts together rhymes like a puzzle. Each piece being essential as the last. He uses intricate rhyme schemes, but still gets his point across in the most immaculate manner.

Common exchanges punchlines with Kayne West on "Southside". My favorite collaboration between the two; up until this point. Kayne also produces this track as he does most of the album. West spits at the top of his game while spitting lyrics e.g. "I know you must be thinking its armorall flow because it never gets rusty". Common on the other hand spits amazing lyrics himself, for example: "Your career was a typo, mine was written like a haiku."

Though Common never comes out and blames the south for hip-hops decline ( that he mentions a multitude of times) the following lyric from "Start the Show" could be subject to misinterpretation, "You sing along wit it, inside you knowin it's wack, Young who? I don't need a openin act". Common never backs down from a fight. He also mentions the lack of hip-hop spirit in the song "The Game".

Is this Common's best work? I don't know. I personally like it better then his last album. Be had a completely different ambience to it though. I guess, we should give credit to Kayne.

I know this album could be perceived to have a few lackadaisical songs. Unlike fox news, I do give the other side. A counter perspective is available at Nobodysmiling [http://www.nobodysmiling.com/hiphop/album_review/87760.php]

Talib Kweli - Ear Drum

Talib's recent effort has sixteen tracks that will fulfill any fans need for another album from the rap superstar.

He spits some of his most intellectual and deep thinking lyrics to date in "Ear Drum".

Electrify one of the most soulful tracks on "Ear Drum" is perfectly titled as it does electrify you. Especially your mind as most of the album does.

The guests help the momentum of the album more than they hurt it. Demonstrated in songs like "Hostile Gospel" with Bun B and Pimp C, who seem to fit in very well in the banger by Just Blaze.

If Talib had to take it back to square one. I'm talking about the hip-hop classic "Reflection Eternal". He definitely took a few paces in the right direction.

I'll finish the review by saying that the album isn't perfect, but perfection is in the beholder.

Brother Ali - The Undisputed Truth

Brother Ali probably would get his mic cut off by Bill O Reilly with his very open minded views on America. Actually more times than less, pessimistic views.

A "Letter From The Government" basically denounces the entire war. Ali blatantly states in the chorus, "I got a letter from the government the other day I opened and read and burned that man, The way that I live don't concern that man, We gon' have to settle this another way". I guess he might also be talking about any possibility of a draft and his reaction. Maybe just a letter asking him to join the military. Nevertheless, one of the most intriguing songs that has been released this year.

The underground artist doesn't stop there with his attitude towards America. Yes, his home country. On the track "Freedom ain't free". He annihilates our foreign policies. Especially when it comes to people who are starving in other countries. "So I use blood and sweat to butter my bread, Cos this cold world couldn't give a fuck if I'm fed".

If you are a liberal, you will probably take well to this album. He doesn't like the war, he doesn't like our foreign policies, and he doesn't like how Muslims are being treated. He claims to be a devout Muslim in a few tracks.

If this album doesn't make you sit back and think. You might want to get your brain examined.

[pantoneyoongi]

but i can’t get you out of my head

title ; but i can’t get you out of my head i still love you, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i love you

notes ; 

part of the till the night is over drabble series. drabbles are not released in chronological order, but the masterlist is set up as chronologically as possible. :) 

title is from carly rae jepsen’s “your type”

word count ; 828 

tags ; high school!au, college!au, pls go to masterlist for more / general tags 

you don’t really think there is any given moment when you fell in love with jungkook. it just sort of happened, after years of standing by his side and sharing endless memories together. all of those memories crash against each other, molding and melding until it forms the mess of emotions that you hold for him, too heightened to be considered anything but love. 

maybe it’s just the accumulation of the time you spent together with him. every little moment that embeds itself into your mind, slowly memorizing the way he grins and the adorable scrunch in his nose when he laughs. a slow tumble, your brain accidentally learning the way it feels to have him next to you, until it’s too late for you to do anything but accept that he’s a permanent stature there. 

jungkook tattoos himself onto your heart, and you don’t even realize he’s been holding the pen until the image has sunk in, too deep to pull out of you. 

what you do remember is the moment you realized it could be called love. years of denying your feelings for him in spite of all the obvious signs, all the times he breaks your heart over the years, comes to a head in the summer before college. you remember feeling a little foolish, for letting yourself pretend for this long that it could be anything but love. 

your friends were loud, trading stories and punchlines and teasing remarks as they share food, relaxed after having spent hours on the beach and in the ocean. jungkook swapped out a tray of waffle fries in front of you for the plate of curly fries on the other end of the table, setting it down before you with a quick smile. 

it’s such a small action. it’s so small in fact that you find yourself thinking it’s stupid to have put so much weight into it, your heart clinging to the action even while jungkook has an arm over jamie’s shoulders, laughing at something yugyeom said. but you know why you remember it so clearly. why it stands out to you in the sea of memories you share with jungkook. 

it was that moment that tripped the signal in your head. jungkook remembers the oddest things about you - in that split second, you realize that jungkook knows you better than you thought he did. something as mundane as remembering your favorite type of fries - curly fries, of course - and making a point to leave them within your reach, without you even asking. it was then that you realized you could no longer keep acting like you don’t know what your feelings are whenever you see jungkook. 

love. 

in the midst of all your friends, their loud laughter and carefree grins, you see jungkook and just know. there’s thousands of memories flitting through your mind like a movie reel - the day you sat next to him in sixth grade, jungkook’s toothy grin and shy introduction. watching him play foursquare at recess, jungkook’s competitive side lured out. pressing a hand to your temple when jungkook gives you a headache during a group project. the day jungkook asks yerin out, nervous and full of anticipation. jungkook excitedly teaching you the controls to super smash brothers. the horror on his face when you tell him mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste. the way your heart shatters when jungkook and jamie announce their relationship. 

it’s love. all of it is love - the good and the bad. you don’t know when it happened, but it did, and it’s a secret you held close to your chest, one you don’t dare to say out loud, locked safely away inside of you. 

“y/n?” dahyun waves a hand in your face, breaking you out of your memories from that summer. “did you hear me? i asked if you still liked jungkook.” 

jamie and jungkook broke up a couple months back, shortly after the semester had started. it’s winter break now, jamie insisting to you that her feelings are gone and she’s moved on. she’s staring at you curiously, her and dahyun and yerin and jihyo all together, waiting for your response. 

you shrug, an easy smile on your face as you tug your coat tighter around you. “no,” you say nonchalantly. “i don’t like him anymore.” 

you must sound believable, for once. even jihyo has to pause for a minute. because it’s not technically a lie. you don’t like him. no. 

it’s more than that. 

you can see when the realization dawns on them. “oh,” jamie breathes, and a part of you regrets letting it show, for just a second. but you know there’s only so much longer that you can hide it, hide the way your eyes shine whenever you see him, hide the way you waver every time jungkook falls in love with someone else. 

you don’t like jungkook. you love him. 

you’re so, irrevocably, in love with jeon jungkook. 

other drabbles in the series: running from the truth || over love, i over-trust

series masterlist: till the night is over

taglist: @mwitsmejk

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfiction #series: ttno #friendly reminder that these are released in non-chronological order!! #a short one today

[wonkaworldwide]

I have acquired a Willy Wonka joke book...

I own a Willy Wonka joke book, or it’s proper title, The Whipple-Scrumptious Joke Book.  I’ve had it for a couple years and have flipped through it and groaned at the low quality of the jokes (as is typical of one of these joke books).

It’s been on my mind the last few days because... I’ve been wondering if the book uses the pun Silly Wonka.  I know this is such a weird thing to be wondering, but perhaps because I think that’s probably the lowest a joke about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory could go, and I think to myself surely they wouldn’t conceive a joke where “Silly Wonka” is the punchline.

What are your predictions?  Does this book feature the pun “Silly Wonka”?  Or did I just waste ten minutes of my time and yours?  I will update this post with the answer.

UPDATE!

So, there is no “Silly Wonka” pun in the book, thankfully.  However, there are some jokes in here that are even worse.  Take a look.

Which golden ticket winner likes potato chips? Veruca Salt ‘n’ Vinegar.

What time do the chocolate factory gates open? Ten o’choc.

What are stored in chocolate factories? Chocolate facts.

What do you call a talk show host for Oompa Loompas? Oompa Winfrey.

What is Willy Wonka’s walking stick made of? Cane sugar.

What do Oompa Loompas shout when they hit peanut brittle with a sledgehammer? “Smashing!” (This one doesn’t even make any sense!)

What great sporting event takes place at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory every four years? The Oompa-lympics.

I don’t know what this whole post was either.

#Charlie and the Chocolate Factory #Willy Wonka #Silly Wonka

[capn-schmazz]

edgar wright being my new favorite director:

i have to admit that after watching the cornetto trilogy I’ve become more than a little obsessed with Simon’s work and Edgar’s as well, which means I’m forcing my friends (who all have a similar interest in either film or geek/sci fi shit so they aren’t too upset with my dragging them along) to watch them with me. Rewatching the trilogy just reminds me of how much I love certain sequences so here are (some of) my top Edgar Wright directorial moments from each movie.

some spoilers (no major ones though)

-

Shaun of the Dead: 

The Opening Shot

I absolutely love the intro to Shaun of the Dead. The song behind it (Ghost Town by The Specials) starts off on a black screen, the intro chords playing us into our first shot of Shaun where the music, just as it’s hitting its melody, switches to the background sound of the scene with the ding of the “last orders” bell. Shaun sits in the pub, staring vacantly as he sips his pint and smokes his cigarette, disconnected from the current scene. His girlfriend jolts him back to life with the first line of dialogue, and we begin that scene. What this is is a great bit of writing made even better by the cinematography of that shot (one of my all time favorites to be honest).     On top of that, it immediately characterizes his actions for the rest of the movie in a really interesting way. His girlfriend’s nudge is what pulls us into the actual movie, and it’s the love he has for her and the drive to stay with her that motivates the majority of his actions in throughout the rest of it.

A Day in the Life and Shaun Being Ignorant of the Apocalypse

Three things I love about these sequences: the things they accomplish, the visual comedy, and the recreated shot.     At first, the shot is really an establishing shot of how Shaun lives his life. It introduces us to his surroundings (which we’ll need to know well as it’ll become a warzone), the people in the area (more specifically, the people he’ll be fighting), and the way he as a character interacts with the world around him. As we see from that first shot, he strolls through, interacting passively with people, but still engaged in his surroundings in a sort of muscle memory way. In the recreated shot, we see that muscle memory, definitely helped along by his hangover, and he completely misses all the obvious signs of the coming end of the world: smashed car windows, someone running for their life, zombies stumbling in the street, the blood on the fridge door in the shop, etc. Now we know that even though the apocalypse is here, our homeboy Shaun isn’t actually aware of it, making him an incredibly unlikely hero, as we continue to see throughout the movie.     There’s also the joke in it. The original shot is the set up, the recreation is the punchline. There’s also the fact that all throughout ‘a day in shaun’s life’ we’ve had normal people acting like zombies, including Shaun, as an obvious foreshadowing to when they actually will be zombies. So it’s also funny that after all that build up to the zombie apocalypse, and us knowing it’s coming, when it comes Shaun doesn’t notice until it quite literally lunges at him. 

Honorable mention: The ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ zombie beating because Edgar’s musical direction is also killer. 

Hot Fuzz

The ‘Village Green Preservation Society’ and Slasher Run

So, we go straight from the aggressive, signature Edgar Wright quick-cuts, intense zoom action sequence of Nicholas Angel arresting a load of teenage boys, to a shot of him in his bed that night exercising his grip (in a great visual innuendo). The action of that first bit is immediately killed by the stillness of that shot. Then, queue ‘the village green preservation society’ by The Kinks, and Nick’s bed is made and we get that establishing shot of the country town and all its greenery. What follows is a perfect following of Nick’s morning jog through the town, introducing us to the lay out of the town (that we’ll need to know for when it becomes a warzone later on -- sound familiar?) as well as the new characters we didn’t meet during Nick’s late night pub arrests (because we’ll need to know them well once they’re...the people he has to fight-- de ja vu again). The new characters, they greet Nick with friendliness and little bits like “good morning Sergeant!” and such, that are each in time with the music. The music is perfect for the scenario as well as aligning perfectly and it tickles me just the right way and I love it.

It ends abruptly with the appearance of Mr. Skinner who essentially issues a threat and acts very weirdly, making Nick on edge, and has a sort of uneasy villain music tone behind that moment. Then we’re cut completely out of the sequence by a signature Edgar move of making opening the door to the police station as action-y, zoomed in and quick as possible. 

A Big Cop in the Model Village

“If you want to be a big cop in a small town, fuck off to the model village” (or something to that extent) is a line one of the detectives says to Nick earlier in the movie. So, this moment is not only a great shot but a terrific writing moment. Also the fact that the model village itself is a pun. Sandford likes to fancy itself as a ‘model village’ with perfection, a dream world, a perfect haven that wins village of the year award every year. Not only is he a big cop in a small town (as is literally demonstrated by this shot) but he has destroyed the town (both the real town and this one), both of which were ‘model towns’ in different ways. It’s just so brilliant. 

Honorable mention: Nick Riding into the Village on Horseback all Dramatic-Like because it’s dope and also really funny 

The World’s End

Most of my love for this movie is about the writing, which is why I only have on massive directorial hard-on for this: 

The Entire Fucking Intro to The World’s End

It starts with a basic expositional story telling us exactly who everyone is, where they’re going, what they’re doing, and what stopped them from doing this before. But it’s not just exposition. That’s the beauty. 

Gary King’s in a group therapy session telling them this story. So the exposition is justified in a characterization way. But this isn’t about the brilliance of the writing, this is about the directing and cinematography. So I present to you: 

That shot. Such beauty in that shot. It pulls out and out, running the production company logos with the incredible music of Primal Scream’s ‘Loaded’ in time with the movie title. The letters of the title even go out in time with the drum riff thing in the song. Then we go into a never ending shot going from left to right, following the action, as we see each of those characters of Gary’s friends and their modern lives with comparisons to Gary’s institutionalized squalor. It’s magnificent. This intro, from 0:00 to the bit where Gary hides behind Peter’s bushes and Peter drives around to see who it was, is probably one of my favorite sequences in any movie I’ve ever seen, and certainly the best introductory/exposition/characterization/title sequence I’ve ever watched. 

I could go on about it for longer, but I have homework I’ve been procrastinating on with this post. Once my classes are done I’m planning on bingeing Edgar Wright’s work as well as Simon and Nick’s.

fun fact though: That opening shot of Shaun of the Dead, I saw it on youtube, just that opening shot, and immediately I knew I had to watch the movie. 

peace out. 

#the cornetto trilogy #shaun of the dead #hot fuzz #the world's end #edgar wright #directing #simon pegg #nick frost #cult film #movies

[yurimother]

LGBTQ Manga Review – ‘Eve and Eve’

Reviewing an anthology presents unique challenges. Each story must be considered as a standalone piece able to present a cohesive and engaging narrative (or not) by itself. However, being bound together intrinsically adds something greater to the works. They are no longer independent pieces but contribute to the book as a whole. I will admit this is the first time I have had the pleasure of reviewing an anthology but given the current trend of Yuri anthologies in Japan, and with the many English adaptations looming on the horizon, I figured I best get used to the prospect.

Eve and Eve is a mature Yuri manga anthology featuring six stories by Nagashiro Rouge. When I say mature, I mean it! the stories contain explicit (although not pornographic) depictions of intercourse. Two of the stories were originally published in Yuri Ninshin, a hentai publication, all explicit genitalia or nipples were edited out in re-printings in Japan. These edited editions are the ones which appear in Seven Seas’ Eve and Eve. Given these alterations, Eve and Eve is actually one of the few Yuri works in English I classify as an adult piece containing sex that is not pornographic, a classification I rarely make outside of visual novels, such as Kindred Spirits on the Roof. However, as this review does discuss the explicate content in the manga I am warning that you should read the following at your own discretion.

Now that the long-winded introduction is finished, let’s go over the universal aspects of Eve and Eve before I break down each of the six stories. Nagashiro’s artwork is clean and detailed. With each panel being full of detail except in a few circumstances to accentuate a character, object, speech bubble or interaction when white space is used. Their character designs are extremely impressive, with almost every character having a distinctly different hairstyle, face, and body type that mesh properly and make each individual feel distinctive. This is especially important for an anthology, as the short stories leave little room for individual personalities, so a lot of what has to be memorable is the design.

On the note of the characters, none of them are extremely complicated, often only having one distinctive personality trait. However, this lack of sophistication is to be expected and helps cut down on needless fluff. None of the personalities or dynamics between the characters feel overused or played out. Instead, they compliment the story well and allow for engaging short narratives. An example of this is Eko, in the second story, whose timid nature is the main conflict of her romance.

The content of the stories varies but there are shared elements. Half of them are science fiction stories with elements of aliens, robots, artificial intelligence, and the apocalypse. Additionally, unlike many of Yuri titles, those presented here are about adults (save one exception) who have consensual sexual encounters. Many of the pairings in Eve and Eve are women in relationship with each other that have a life together, which is tragically rare in this genre.

As previously mentioned, Eve and Eve has more than a few moments of intercourse. While these are certainly lewd, I did not find them disgusting as I do with so many instances of sex in Yuri. Part of this may be due to the omission of genitalia but mostly it is in the way sex functions in each story and how it is depicted. I will examine the former aspect later, but in the depiction, the intercourse itself, it is universally well done. While it is explicit and salacious, the sex does not contain gross moments of overly exaggerated orgasms or uncomfortably manipulated breasts. It feels mature and thoughtful, at least most of the time, something I greatly appreciate.

Finally, I need to talk about the “Summary of Stories” page that appears at the end of the book. This glorious spread gives me precious information about each of the six stories including when and where they were originally published. Alongside each story is a blurb from Nagashiro Rouge describing each story and their thoughts on it. I subscribe to Barthes’ “Death of the Author,” so I usually care little about the creator or their intent when evaluating a text. This belief is especially useful as an English teacher; that’s right, we know Fitzgerald may not have intended to put that much symbolism into The Great Gatsby, we just do not care! But I am also a hypocrite so I will on occasion use Nagashiro’s summaries to contribute to my thoughts and arguments about each story.

The first story, I Want to Leave Behind a Miraculous Love is about Sayu and Nika, the last two survivors of the apocalypse. They do not speak the same language, with Nika’s limited dialogue being written in Russian (only a few lines, even if you do read Russian it adds almost nothing to the story). Despite this difficulty, the two of them grow incredibly close and eventually become lovers. Through narration and effective visual storytelling, this story actually does an effective job of communicating how close the two are and how they care for each other despite the women's’ inability to talk to each other. This is seen in scenes where the two wander the dilapidated remains of a city and during their sex.

The intercourse here is the best that Eve and Eve has to offer, both in is salaciousness and the deeper meaning. The sex is a physical expression of their love and the way in which the two can communicate their feelings and devotion to each other. It is more than two characters smashing into each other to achieve climax, but an act that physically confirms their love. I applaud this depiction.

I Want to Leave Behind a Miraculous Love, is one of the stories originally published in Yuri Ninshin. To remind you, this is a hentai work and thus contains a lot of sex (although again, this is the edited version). It is also worth mentioning that “Ninshin” translates to pregnancy, Yuri Ninshin is a fetish work about pregnancies occurring between women. I will admit, I LOVE stories about women having and raising kids together, typically not biological kids, although I have done some quack reporting on the real world possibility (something I am in no way qualified to talk about. However, pregnancy fetishizing is absolutely not my things. It is easy for most people to dismiss this story because of its inclusion. I, however, will take a different approach.

Sayu repeatedly mentions her worries about one of them ending up alone if the other were to die. The pregnancy produced by magical science shenanigans produces children to keep them company in the isolation as survivors of the apocalypse. They are physical results of their love which shall endure beyond either of their lifespans, demonstrating the strength of Nika and Sayu’s devotion to each other. Additionally, they are a symbol of life returning after the tragedy of the apocalypse. The final panel of the story depicts life in both their children and returned plant-life surrounding the two female figures, mothers to the new human race, Eve and Eve.

The second story, The Case of Eko and Lisa, is about an artist, Eko, and Lisa, a sexbot that she uses to pose for drawings (but not for her intended purpose). Lisa malfunctions and begins to develop feelings for Eko, who spurs her advances.

The two characters struggle to confess their actual feelings for each other because of Eko’s anxieties about their possible relationship. During the climax of the story she reveals the source of her trepidation in a very human moment, she is scared that if they were to have sex she would be disappointing or that things between the two might change. It is a fear that many people in the real world have and Nagashiro is able to use it so well in this story, complete with some of the best art in this book. Equally as incredible is the response of Lisa, “just be honest with yourself and love me however you like.”

The relationship between Eko and Lisa is easily the best in the volume. Each of them struggles because of Eko’s anxiety around their relationship and trying to figure out how to best express their feelings. The resolution to their conflict is also one of the sweetest and healthiest things I have seen out of a Yuri relationship.

The third story is Top or Bottom? The Showdown! As the title suggests this story is comedic. It begins with a group of female students arguing about which of them is a “top” or a “bottom.” All the girls agree that protagonist Anzu is a bottom because of her small stature, something which she is outraged by. Anzu enters into a contest with the tall but passive Emi to decide who would be the better top. Hilarity and some (non-lewd) service occur.

I am on record as not easily crying but I am an easy laugh and Top or Bottom had me rolling in whatever the homosexual equivalent of “the aisles” is. The premise is ridiculous, as it should be which leads to some great jokes. The side plot of the girls “shipping” their male classmates together also ends up with one of the best twist punchlines I have read in a long time.

While it is easy to enjoy this story given what is presented in the book, it also invites some deeper analysis. Nagashiro plays with the expectation of the assertive and submissive, bottom and top, roles that often define relationships. The comedy comes from the characters struggles to fit into these defined roles, each possessing one of the traits of a “bottom” Anzu’s small size and Emi’s passive nature. Anzu eventually says, “deciding [roles] like that doesn’t feel right.” It becomes evident that deciding who should be the top or bottom is not something that needs deciding before a relationship begins but something more fluid which, if they are formed, are done so during the relationship.

While I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the book that amusement ceases with the fourth story, An Infidelity Revisited. Two women, Azusa and Midori, who are former classmates run into each other on the street and cheat on their girlfriends with each other. When Midori suggests that they break up with their partners Azusa declines saying the only reason the sex between them is so good is because they are cheating. The two women begin to leave but stop walking away at the last second.

I really did not like this story for numerous reasons. First, cheating is such a lazy and problematic way to make sex feel scandalous and exciting. Secondly, because the characters never face any repercussions or consequences as part of their infidelity that we see. This could make for an engaging narrative if done properly and in a longer format. As it is, all the reader sees is their cheating, no fallout, no resolution, and no redemption. Some stories are able to present such a small window into the lives of characters without these aspects but An Infidelity Revisited does not have the literary chops to pull off such a narrative.

Nagashiro wrote that “I hope I was able to convey that way in which logic eludes us even as adults, and the incredible impact that our feelings can have on us.” While the mangaka succeeds with that first point, the total lack of logic, they utterly fail to deliver on the impact. The only effect that this story has on me is leaving me mildly exasperated and bitter. As I previously said, there may be an engaging, albeit unhealthy, narrative here but begins so incomplete robs it of the chance to deliver.

Continuing with the theme of stories I did not like is Heir to the Curse. This is a second Yuri pregnancy story and the third to feature explicit sex following I want to Leave Behind a Miraculous Love and An infidelity Revisited. However, while the first story is a tale of love and eternity between two women this one is far more manipulative and disgusting. The beginning and ending are both fine, a girl is cursed because she is born from two mothers and can only reproduce women and she ends up living happily with another woman.

It is the middle that I take issue with. The cursed girl, Ichika, forces herself onto her childhood friend Yui to implant her child. This is so absurd that I almost threw the book across the room, the only reason I did not was that I had an ebook which I was reading on a very expensive laptop. Moreover, this assault feels so out of place with the rest of the anthology which features (mostly) thoughtful and wholesome depiction of same-sex relationship where women have consensual and mutually pleasurable intercourse.

Sure, eventually Yui realizes that she loves Ichika and wants to be with her but this epiphany coming immediately after an assault is a whole other can of worms that I do not want to eat because they are freaking worms. Ichika displays some remorse and it becomes clear that she is doing what she has been raised and abused to know how to do. In the end, Yui “saves” her and brings her away from the village that labels the woman as cursed. I actually like this part, but I wish the action she had taken against her friend was not assault. Even a pained but consensual sexual encounter would have been preferable. Ultimately what I can say is “cool story, still rape”.

Nagashiro wrote that this as “a story about friendship and love.” I call horse dung on this description. If you only read the beginning and ending sure, but when you include blatant assault in the middle of the story that becomes a central element to the story which again, because of the short nature of the story, was not properly addressed.

The anthology ends with Eternity 1 and 2: Eve and Eve. This is the only work by Nagashiro Rouge I had read before this, having browsed the issue of Comic Yuri Hime it was published in, and it is easily my favorite story in the book.

In this tale, two lovers, Eternity 1 and 2, have their brains put into satellites and to act as the watchdogs of humanity. The artwork and symbolism are stunning! By itself, this chapter would easily earn a nine or ten rating from me in that department. One standout moment is in the opening pages, a display of the two women sitting in wedding dresses about to undergo the operation with a wedding officiant standing behind them. This scene replicates the themes of legacy and eternity in love seen in I Want to Leave Behind a Miraculous Love but furthers them even more.

The women, torn from their flesh live together only as minds and spirits. While this story is devoid of sexual intimacy between the two the emotional connection of having their minds work as one is so strong and transient. I will not spoil the stories climax but the actions of the women to display and finalize their love are so intimate and powerful that I was blown away. Nagashiro also does a great job of tying in the other science fiction stories, chapters one and two, to Eternity 1 and 2: Eve and Eve making these three works feel like one continuous world, an excellent shared world anthology.

Eve and Eve has its ups and downs. While many of the stories are spectacular they are bogged down by a few inferior ones. However, I did not outright hate any of the stories and find myself earning for continuations of the inadequate ones so that their potential could be realized. If you are willing to overlook a few questionable chapters Eve and Eve is a wonderful and salacious Yuri anthology with surprising depth and humanity. I definitely recommend that older readers give it a look.

Ratings: Story – 7 Characters – 5 Art – 9 LGBTQ – 9 Lewd – 8 Final – 7

Purchase Eve and Eve from Amazon - https://amzn.to/2WyC2BY digitally and in print

Support the YuriMother Patreon for more Yuri and LGBTQ news, reviews, and content. patreon [dot]com/yurimother

#yuri #reviews #manga #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #queer #r-16 #gay #lesbian #lesbians #pride #pride month #comic #comic book #eve and eve #literature #review #wlw #gl

[aion-rsa]

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12 Review: Diary Queen

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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12

The Simpsons Season 32, episode 12, “Diary Queen,” may be the sweetest offering of the series. It’s not only sentimental and self-esteem-positive, it’s downright edumacational. At least for Bart, who certainly learns a lesson. Thankfully, as the episode explains by example, he probably won’t retain it.

“What’s the matter, Bart? I figure you’d be used to failing by now,” Edna Krabappel once consoled the spiky haired kid who seemed so determined to get through school without schooling. Marcia Wallace, who played the Springfield Elementary teacher, died unexpectedly in October 2013. Edna’s death was first acknowledged in “Four Regrettings and a Funeral,” from season 25, when Bart wrote “We’ll really miss you Mrs. K” on the chalkboard. He only wrote it once. Her death was punishment enough. Both the character and the voice actor were instrumental in the chemistry of The Simpsons, and chemistry happens to be one of the few things Bart’s ever excelled at in school, even pranking a talent show in the “Haw-Haw Land” episode. But he gets his beakers crossed in the latest installment.

“Diary Queen” opens with an inspired West Side Story song parody, “Too Nice” replacing “Tonight.”  It’s time for Ned Flanders’s annual yard sale, and he’s on a holy mission to undersell eBay. Comic Book Guy is looking for a broom to play Quidditch on, Waylen Smithers is going to score some kitsch, and Ned will finally toss those fuzzy dice Maude bought him to the bottom of an impulse item box of jokes he did not get. The Flanders family are parting with their humble possession in a public bid for humility, in case no one notices. Ned gives up Rod’s teeth. Todd consigns his toys to the auction block on the grass. “Playing is a sin that we regret,” one of the Flanders kids explains.

Ned’s bizarre outdoor bazaar is the only segment which has any meanness in it. The Springfieldians want to take advantage of Ned, and openly mock him. Carl and Lenny turn the yard sale into a yarn brawl, and Jimbo’s gang buys commemorative plates just to smash them. It’s enough to send Ned looking for the fans he always carries around in case of stress-induced hot flashes. As Patty and Selma are flicking ashes into Rod and Tod’s baby shoes, it seems Nelson, Bart, and Millhouse are the only ones worthy to buy Ned’s treasured mementos. And, of those, only Nelson’s purchase is authentic. He buys all the bad words, like “adultery” and “fornication,” which Ned cut out of his old religious texts. Nelson has a genuine use for them, you can just tell.

Bart and Millhouse buy the books. Even without the offending admonishments, they swear they’ll still find useful ways to better themselves. Their haul winds up being the fiery centerpiece for a supercool skateboarding feat which no one will ever see. It’s an old joke, but we do get to notice how big Millhouse’s nose looks when he’s picking it. One book, which gives the title to the episode, is spared the conflagration of Bart’s daredevil jump: Edna Krabappel’s diary. Bart recognizes the Ds and Fs, and Millhouse recognizes the smell of Parliament Lights 100s. It’s very telling how these are the most recognizable clues. They are each ready-made character punchlines.

The diary is a font of information. Bart and Millhouse learn all the teachers work night jobs during school hours, and the many lonely secrets of Groundskeeper Willie. But their first use of it is inspired gaggery. Bart learns Superintendent Chalmers keeps his car keys behind the visor. The two kids not only steal the car but take advantage of a free yogurt offer at a car wash. The idea that taking the yogurt and ditching the car is a “perfect crime” is great kids’ logic. It is a little odd, however, that Springfield’s Chief Wiggum sees fourth grade car thieves as inspiration for a little personal time with Officer Lou, but it works within Simpsons logic.

The central point of the episode is Bart’s relationship with his dead teacher, and his relationship with himself. He actually believes someone he thought only saw him as troublesome also considered him “smart as a whip.” It leads him to believe he actually has potential, which he translates to: all the time he was showing his butt he was showing promise. This spurs him into thinking about getting seriously educated. Not only does he try but he succeeds on his first dry run, resisting the urge to draw a skeleton head on a multiple-choice test grid, and getting an A. Not only does he finally understand how his sister Lisa doesn’t suck, but he puts himself on the same level.

Lisa goes through all the stages of jealousy, and even realizes she’s on the verge of obsession when even her imaginary comfort pony begins to look like Bart. This makes it worse, because realizing he is the only thing she can think about only makes her dwell on it. Lisa is usually the family genius, and how she reacts to Bart doing well really depends on the circumstance and need for story conflict. For instance, when Bart had to apply geometry to miniature golf in an early episode, Lisa brought a Zenlike understanding of all things which putt. Lisa does Bart a disservice tonight in the guise of doing the right thing. It’s her MO.

Of course, Marge and Lisa don’t trust Bart’s recent good grades, but while he comes up clean to Marge, Lisa digs up the dirt. Bart correlates “cruel” with “lying” because “they’re both great.” He thinks he’s going to win a Spelling Bee just because he has the potential to do it. Would it have been less cruel for Lisa to let him see how far his belief would get him? She’s set him up for worse humiliations just for an edge at science fairs.

Millhouse gets a few good gags tonight. When Lisa starts developing a rash because of the stress of not crushing her brother’s potential, he pulls cream out of his fanny pack labeled “rash stash.” Groundskeeper Willie is a highlight of the episode. His character has one of the most interesting takes on passive aggressive behavior in comedy. It’s not that he gets it backwards, so much as he pays it forward: Terrorizing Bart with the idea of simmering a new pet into rabbit stew when all he’s thinking of is how much bunnies love stewed carrots.

Read more

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Subtle social commentary makes its way into the episode. As this is the first episode since the Trump presidency, it opens with a Bald Eagle flying a sign asking “Is it safe yet?” We learn Ned doesn’t find Bill Maher funny. A priest tells Bart and Millhouse reading someone else’s diary in church is not the worst thing you can do within the hallowed walls. Moments later we see the priest handcuffed and escorted past the pews by the police. We can only wonder what offenses are happening at Reverend Lovejoy’s competition.

Fat Tony (Tony Montagna) tells his henchmen his crime family doesn’t kill children, “We wait till they’re 18.” Lisa is kept up at night by the cold dead eyes of Mike Pence. Subtle subversive commentary can be found when Principal Skinner declares the drug-free portion of the school assembly a success because Lisa, the only one in the auditorium, tells him she doesn’t do drugs. But the scene comes shortly after we learn Dr. Hibbert is pushing kiddie-Xanax “sleepies” and “dopies” on her. The best bad side effects are “Portuguese insolence” and the “tendency to see yourself as others see you.”

The episode has quite a few sight gags which work well. The sign outside the Spelling Bee contest reads H-E-A-R, and we see one of the losing contestants ripping up a dictionary on the way to the exit. When Ned starts to preachify in the treehouse, he only stops because Bart is drawing back a trigger finger on his slingshot. Mrs. Krabappel’s beloved cat not only was not harmed during the making of the episode, but was a willing participant, according to the closing disclaimer. One of the stills in the photo montage is of Krabappel watching The Bob Newhart Show, which Marcia Wallace was a regular on.

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For the majority of The Simpsons’ run, Mrs. Krabappel was a sexually independent woman who was often “looking for a substitute to teach me a lesson I sorely need.” She began dating widower Ned in “The Ned-Liest Catch” from season 22. They married in secret and stayed together until her death in “The Man Who Grew Too Much.” The cause of Edna’s death has never been revealed, except in a non-canon, future-set episode. For this installment, Wallace’s two lines are taken from earlier episodes. “Diary Queen” will be her last appearance.

This is a different kind of arc for The Simpsons. “Diary Queen” is on an uplifting trajectory until Lisa knocks it off course, and ends in a sudden life-affirming crash. Bart’s final warning to Marge, “I’ll go over the edge if you try to make me feel better,” is wonderfully skewered, but the final twist is a dose of treacle. The episode was originally slated to premiere on Valentine’s Day, and is a sweet sendoff.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12 Review: Diary Queen appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[deebormzone]

Return of Blog

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything on here. Just for fun, here’s a snapshot of the video games I’ve been playing recently.

Smash Bros.

Remember my old prediction for Fighter Pass 2? Well, I’m already wrong.

That’s okay, though! Min Min is pretty good. I do prefer third-party characters for the wow factor, but Arms didn’t have a rep yet, so this is kind of like adding a new franchise.

Special mention to the Vault Boy costume. Despite everything, I still love Fallout.

Still, I might have underestimated how many first-party characters would be in the second pass. This time around, I’m buying them individually, so I can dodge lamers like Pokemon and New Paper Mario.

The punchline here is that I’m not actually playing the game, because if I fight someone I know, I only win, and if I fight online, I only lose. Neither is fun and life is suffering.

World of Warcraft

These being Covid Times, I thought it would be a good idea to use videogame to provide some social interaction, so I re-subscribed and made ten new characters. The following two months were spent grinding. I stopped once I realized that the game is not actually fun, and cancelled my subscription again.

Note: No social interaction occurred in-game during this time. I anticipate paying sixty dollars plus tax for the expansion.

Evil Genius

I guess this has been my main game lately! Out of nowhere, it’s an old PC game from 2004.

The concept is: A James Bond film, but you are the antagonist. Hollow out a mountain and build an evil underground lair. Recruit minions and execute them when they disappoint you. Embark on evil missions around the globe to increase notoriety. It’s all very silly, and the theme is excellent.

Unfortunately there are a few racial caricatures. Most prominently: my favorite playable genius Shen Yu. It hurts a little whenever he says “this is vitar to my pran”, but his ability helps keep agents off my island, so I have to play as him because I hate those fucking agents goddamn it.

He also starts with my favorite henchman, Lord Kane, a morose gentleman in a top hat who is, according to his biography, “responsible for pretty much every major crime or disaster this century.” His special power is to glare at the enemy, causing them to flee in terror. The enemy’s allies also flee in terror. Even if they are in a completely different room.

Another notable henchman is Dr. Neurocide, a fearsome scientist whose backstory is that she invented Evil Juice and then rubbed it on herself by mistake. I like her because, when you command her to eliminate an intruder in your lair, she replies “right away, sugar,” in a country girl accent.

I like the game a lot, but it can get pretty tough. My first campaign ended in failure because, since I was playing as a Bond villain, James Bond appeared and killed me. I wasn’t too mad about it because I got to see the special failure movie.

Incredibly, this old game is getting a sequel this year! Shen Yu isn’t playable this time, so the devs have probably cleaned up their act a little. Also, one of the unrevealed playable characters looks a little like Dr. Neurocide. Fingers crossed!

The Binding of Isaac

Have I even mentioned this on my blog before? Isaac is one of my favorite games of all time. Top ten for sure. It’s disgusting and vile, but the cute art style takes the edge off, leaving only intense dungeon fight and shoot. I have trouble playing some games lately- my thumb hurts if i have to press too many buttons- but Isaac is a twin-stick shooter. No buttons required!

I’d been avoiding it because I wanted to wait for the game’s fifth(?) free expansion, which has been in the works for at least a year. Then I remembered that instead of waiting, I could instead play the game with only four free expansions. So I did.

Recently, though, the dev posted with an update: the expansion is definitely coming next year probably. With that assured, I’m back to waiting. I’ll play some other roguelikes instead, such as

Hades

Some kind of historical-action-roguelike-dating sim. It’s very good. Still in Early Access, which i usually avoid, but this one’s worth it. They’re close to release, too: next update is 1.0.

Somehow the plot is the most substantial part of this roguelike. Every update, they add another 400 lines of voiced dialogue. You don’t even have to be good at the game to advance the plot, since you hear more after each death!

Still, I wish I wasn’t so bad at it. Any time I see someone playing it on stream, or in person in the case of @thewrongexecution, they’re playing somewhere between heat level six and eight. Meanwhile I can’t win on heat level one. Truly, this is... hell... the Greek hell... Hades... because the game is called that.........

Torchlight 3

Speaking of Early Access games I usually avoid, I got this one on “release” day because I really wanted to play Diablo, and the five existing Diablo clones just weren’t good enough.

It’s okay. The classes are great, especially Robot and Train Summoner, but the game needs polish. No surprises there, since I got it Early Access day one, but it can be tough to play sometimes. Last update added a whole new section to the game, but it also made all the UI elements very small.

Still, I’m pretty sure it’s going to turn out well in the end. If it doesn’t, I’ll just have to hope Diablo 4 isn’t terrible when it comes out three years from now.

World of Horror

I got this game thinking it was a roguelike.

It is, but it is also a horror game! There was a jumpscare! How could this happen?

I look forward to the next time I am bold enough to play it. Soon, I swear.

Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!

Yeah that’s the game’s full, unaltered title.

I’m not actually playing this game at the moment. I had to dial it back because it got too hard, and also because my thumb hurts if I play anything too intensely button-mash heavy.

Even though I’m a poor typist, I’m seriously considering switching over to keyboard controls so I can keep playing, because as hard as it is, this game is incredible. The whole series has been good and the third is the best of all. It’s the world’s most hardcore cooking simulator. A hard sell, I know, so I’ll just leave you with this, one of my favorite “you have seven seconds to prepare for the final stop, at which fifty-three customers will each order a personalized sandwich, and your sliced meats are about to spoil all at once” theme songs.

in closing...

It’s tough times. I can’t go without saying one more thing.

I’ve been watching the nationwide protests on twitch for a while now. I’ve been struck by two main things: the strength and courage of the protesters, and the cowardly violence of the police.

I know my audience is practically nil, but please take a look at the peaceful protests if you haven’t. Take a look at their opposition, the officers who launch gas bombs into crowds and fire rubber bullets at people’s faces.

And holy shit, this is during a pandemic! All the protesters out there are risking their lives on multiple fronts, and they have been for months.

Please support the protesters.

Please support Black communities.

Please wear face masks.

And please be kind to yourselves.

#smash bros #world of warcraft #binding of isaac #hades #evil genius #world of horror #Cook Serve Delicious #torchlight 3 #what's the best way to go to a protest against police brutality? #a cab

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Monster Trucks” with a minor in “The Barbarian Brothers”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Twin Sitters!

The 80s were a weird time. The hair, the music, the legwarmers, and the cut off sweatshirts… But one of the weirdest things about the 80s might’ve been the fitness craze. It may have started innocently enough with Jane Fonda aerobics videos, jazzercise, and the invention of health clubs and gym memberships, but it eventually permeated every fiber of American culture. Olivia Newton-John’s music video for “Physical”, Nike’s “Just Do It” tagline, and a new wave of fitness themed film and television stars. Supercult classics like Gymkatta, Killer Workout, Bloodsport, Double Team, and Conan the Barbarian? All 80s films. It could be argued that bodybuilders and professional athletes like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean-Claude van Damme only made it to the big screen because of this new infatuation with the physically fit over, say, people who could act.

You’re never home alone when you’re a twin!

“Bro! You ripped!” “Thanks, Bro!” “No, I mean you ripped our shirts, now we’re too sexy to maintain a PG rating!

I mean…comedy?

I dare someone to find a more nebbish name than Eugene Percy.

This image here represents an entire genre of comedic family films.

So, is this 90s ridiculous fashion or 80s ridiculous fashion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ruJBKFrRCk

Enter the Barbarian Brothers, twins Peter and David Paul. Born in Connecticut, they moved to California to become professional body builders before becoming TV personalities and then, perhaps inevitably, actors and producers. They started out small as guest stars on the Knight Rider TV series before starring as a duo on the 1987 Conan cash-in, The Barbarians, for which they were both nominated for a Razzie Award for Worst New Star.

A similar pair muscle-bound movie stars might’ve followed the prescribed athlete-turned-Hollywood-actor agenda:

Step 1. Venturing out into the action and sci-fi genres, perhaps fighting aliens, drug-traffickers, terrorists, or drug-trafficking alien terrorists.

Step 2. Become a household name by making it big on one or two franchises, perhaps something with a snappy one-word noun for a title, like The Transporter, Terminator, or the Masticator. Don’t steal the Masticator, btw, that one’s mine.

Step 3. Relax and cash in on your fame by making easy, unambitious, low-quality comedy and family films that put a strong person in a non-traditional role in a room full of children and use size and strength as a punchline. Isn’t it funny that this middle school guidance counselor can bench-press the principal? Sure hope so, because that’s the entire movie.

The Barbarian Brothers, however, decided to jump straight to step 3 with 1994’s Twin Sitters. While other acting careers would consider a film like Twin Sitters to be the final nail in the coffin, but for the Paul brothers, it was what you might call the peak of their acting careers. This film about two bodybuilding, crime-fighting, meat head twin brothers playing babysitter to two rich, spoiled 10-year-old twin brothers is somehow so formulaic, so milk toast bland that it has no critical reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and no trivia on IMDB. It’s as if the universe collectively decided to forget this movie ever existed in the first place, which is a shame because it’s written and directed by John Paragon, best known as an actor, writer, and director for many episodes and TV specials of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Perhaps that’s why the film is full of genuinely funny writing and slapstick, as well as rated PG-13. Twin Sitters may look like an idiotic family film, and don’t get us wrong, it absolutely is, but it’s also genuinely touching at times and sports some classic Supercult-style unintentional humor.

Sadly, David Paul of the Barbarian Brothers recently passed away in March of 2020 at the age of 62, but we can celebrate the cinematic exploits of the pair by watching them systematically smash everything that isn’t nailed down, and a fair amount of the stuff that is!

Supercult West is proud to present, Twin Sitters!

Twin Sitters Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Monster Trucks” with a minor in “The Barbarian Brothers”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Twin Sitters!

#1990s #Barbarian Brothers #Comedy #David Paul #Family #John Paragon #Peter Paul #speech #Supercult West #Thriller #Twin Sitters

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E67

A Battle heavy episode, but not one without its Shipping Moments! Thank you to @alarnia, @softazelma, and @drinkingdeadpeopletea for helping with data entry. Masterpost here.

+23 to Caleb/Jester/The Silver Thread of Fate They get equal credit as Caleb did this with Jester’s suggestions and guidance, even choosing the ankle—then the pinky to tie everyone together with! They knew what they were doing. This is polynein at work, my friends.

+15 to Caleb/Channeling His Inner Druid as he polymorphs into a spider, and a giant eagle, and in general has seemed to decide that he much prefers being an animal to a human wizard being.

+16 to Caleb/Caduceus …An inclination which happens to be very compatible with a Caduceus romance, as dear Cads is the only one Not Quite A Druid!Caleb can understand when he’s being his dumbo polymorphed self. These two did pretty well on the Battle Points—despite a few missed opportunities Caduceus did Bless the Spider, and Caduceus is very, very appreciative of Caleb’s searching the Spider Lair. Caduceus in general trying to stick by Caleb, though point loss for Caleb rebuffing him by insisting that the blind folks Should Not Be Beside Each Other. Both of them sharing an attitude of respect for the dead…

+6 to Jester/Caduceus…and Jester makes an effort to respect the dead as well, when asking for Caduceus’ advice on the optics of stealing an angel skull to interrogate. Some Battle Points with Jester also smashing up attacking spiders and so on, Caduceus confusedly letting Eagle!Jester carry him to safety and staying by the door until she herself was safe.

+8 to Caleb/Jester which would be more, what with Caleb tossing all Keys and Goods in her direction, them both turning into Eagles together, Caleb hanging on every suggestion of Jester’s and staying behind even while on death’s door himself to make sure she made it back safely and Fireball her foes…however, there is no better way to drain all the points out of a ship then to reject hand holding when it’s offered to you. Shame on you, Jester!

-1 to The Mighty Nein/No Jester Left Behind Act as Eagle!Jester rescues literally everyone—Nott, Caduceus, Yasha—to be, once again, the last to get to safety, the closest to being left behind. Points gained for Caduceus and Caleb hanging out by the door for her

+5 to Nott/Never Letting Shit Go as she pokes at Caleb by asking if they’re going to do the thing where they take scrolls without telling anyone else. The day Nott fails to bring up old drama is the day she has been murdered and replaced with a doppelganger.

+0 to Fjord/Jester/Caleb as Fjord says he “always loves doing two at a time” (!!!!!!) and working together with Caleb to craft the perfect message for Oban. Unfortunately, point loss as Fjord is also Horrified And Not At All Pleased with Jester and Caleb’s Eagle! antics, since all animals Especially Those Resembling Rocs in Fjord’s book are to Be Hated And Feared. As such this episode births the first Anti Ship Mascot.

+13 to Nott/Yasha Surprisingly, these two actually have an excellent week. Despite Nott continuing to interrogate Yasha over her flask, Yasha is sweetly protective of Nott and draws her sword to the sound of Nott’s distress. She is the most effusive in complimenting Nott’s Murdering Skill, and adorably offers her own title of the Orphanmaker up for Nott to use—and then they talk about making a band of it! Iconic.

+6 to Beau/Yasha/Jester as they all blow and use their cloaks to beat back the fog while looking for traps, though they didn’t exactly succeed in their stated purpose

-25 to the Mighty Nein/Traps Of course, at this point it’s more surprising for them to not set off a trap than the other way around, but between Nott getting characteristically caught in webbing, Fjord setting off an electronic trap that nearly killed everyone, and Beau and Nott both making noise to disturb an awful psychic nightmare of a cliffside trap, twas a particularly awful week for this group.

+11 to Fjord/Jester as they have a great, if understated week, with Jester doing relatively well on the Battle Points those times when she prioritizes smashing up/fooling spiders and zombies attacking Fjord, and Fjord thinking her zombie murdering skills are amazing. Fjord is also very sweet about not wanting Jester to feel like she’s wasting her spells knowing that she always worries about just that, Jester worries (justifiably) over Fjord pressing forward alone, and with Fjord attempting to join Jester and co’s band with his sightreading skills. Point loss for apparently not actually being able to sightread, Fjord your powerful pokerface is why no one trusts you, you know that right? Also point loss for Jester once more taking joy in Fjord’s squeamishness over spider egg sacs.

-20 to Caleb/Penetration as he Shields that suggestively-placed stinging protrusion from the demon-spider! Take him out to dinner first, you animal (somewhere he isn’t on the menu)! Admittedly Caleb turning into a charming spider in response may have sent a couple of mixed messages, but the Queen Spider was murdered before anyone had the chance to find out whether it would have gone anywhere

+10 to Beau/Jester as through pure Sapphic Intuition they identify a hole in the ground before anyone else. Them goofing off and spelling their names in the fog, Beau missing Jester’s unicorns, and them discussing body farms, that most romantic of detectively topics.

+7 to Jester/Nott and -10 to Jester/Anatomy as Jester is now imitating Nott’s thunking breasts pantomime when talking about “big racks.” Jester discussing Buttons, rescuing Nott in eagle form, and alongside Yasha being Incredibly Though Ineffectively Supportive of Sober!Nott, similar Battle Couple Shenanigans of Jester popping zombies like balloons while Nott uses her mage hand to scoop up the hearts for the Creepy Puzzle Door.

+18 to Beau/Yasha as it is Shipping Law that tearing out monster hearts together is Peak Date Material, not to mention them coordinating killing/heart-snatching moves with Peak Battle Couple Efficiency, and Yasha being Very Impressed with Beau’s ability to quickly finish the lightning trap with the power of her fists. Those are some talented hands Beau has there

+3 to Beau/Unnecessary Apologies as she apparently thinks she needs to say “sorry” for not having stolen Nott’s flask. Sorry. She didn’t. Steal Nott’s flask. And then gifts her the last drops of her family’s wine. Beau!

-4 the Mighty Nein/Spoilers This week Oban is looking out for them and preserving their sense of surprise, with only a vague “be careful” as a warning of what is to come

+2 to Fjord/Caduceus as Caduceus defends Fjord’s caution to the rest of the group, and them intently seeking Bindings of One Kind Or Another together. Sadly, their potential to gain more points was cut off by Fjord deciding not to take first watch with Caduceus after all.

-2 to Nott/One-liners as she feels the need to downgrade the coolness factor of her terrifying one-shot finishing blows by stumbling over jokes with no punchline, demonstrating maybe one thing suffering with her newfound sobriety +2 to the Mighty Nein/Totally Not Anachronisms for Nott inventing the internet, though.

+16 to Jester/Yasha as these two continue to be embarrassingly adorable at all times, with Yasha complimenting the blue feathers of Jester’s Eagle form while being rescued, and alongside Nott discussing the Orphanmakers band together. Jester defending Yasha first in battle with the spiders, and Yasha adorably thanking her for the lollipop assistance afterwards.

+8 to Caleb/Fjord as the Full Spectrum of Fireball Shipping Power was used, ranging from using it to save Fjord and the rest from Baby Spider Hell and earning a “that’s hot” from Fjord which, can be interpreted in many interesting ways, to Caleb’s fireball destroying a bunch of zombies but nonetheless ruining the moment and losing points for getting Fjord slapped around by torn-up limbs. Fjord pulling a Classic Fjord Ship Maneuver in yelling at people not letting Caleb do His Thing. Caleb, for his part, pulling a Classic Romance Novel Maneuver by crashing into Fjord on the stairs and saying hello in a supremely awkward manner. Sadly not many classic Battle Points, with *sighs* pragmatism in target choice getting in the way.

+1 to Fjord/Spiders We all know Fjord has a tendency to fuck things he’s frightened of, but unfortunately this week he was not willing to take a full action to do so in battle. Too many eyes on him, apparently.

-500000 to Sam Riegel/His Presidential Campaign At this point, Sam’s official flag should be his white burial shroud tied to a stick and waved around in surrender #VoteWithYourJohnson #LiamForPresident

#critical role #cr spoilers #shipping calculus

[vgprintads]

BEST OF 2019!

Well, here we are once again.

I don’t have much of a speech lined up this year, so this is going to be more of a rough dictation. Here was a year filled with the same sort of BS that we have grown accustomed to, not just in the real world but in gaming as well. As this is being typed up at the last minute I don’t think I can offer an adequate summary of all we gamers have gone though this past dozen of months, but I’ll try.

The fallout of 76 continues to provide a grey overcast above Todd Howard’s reputation as his great butchered live-service continues to be a convoluted joke with no punchline. Activision Blizzard was singled out among the many China-appeasing companies and given a public paddling, until they announced a couple of big sequels and was forgiven immediately. EA went to bat for loot boxes and tried to convince Parliament that “surprise mechanics” are okay by way of Gordon Gekko. The latter of these being the harbinger of all the political scrutiny that fell upon all of them.

Despite all the usual drab titles and greedy stupidity that churns out of the big studios these days, it wasn’t all nonsense coming out of here. ‘Resident Evil 2′ got more than a nice new coat of paint for its remake; ‘Smash Bros. Ultimate’ got a pass from me for being pretty fun and adding Banjo-Kazooie; ‘Kingdom Hearts 3′ finally hit the shelves after years of anticipation. 

There was also some noteworthy titles from the middle-ground studios that showed that big budgets don’t need to be shoveled into the furnace of safe marketable tripe; that unfilled niches--and perhaps spiritual successors--still bring in tidy sums. Games like ‘The Outer Worlds’ and ‘Bloodstained’, which were helmed by respected names in the industry who did more than make rehashes of stuff they did in the 90′s; not burning through the trust and money of their supporters like other projects.

Oh, and Death Stranding. From an outsider’s perspective, your mileage may vary with this great experiment born from the question “what happens when we give an insane auteur unlimited funds, resources, and creative freedom to create a game that would only appease himself, some friends, and the voices in his head.” 

Which leads me to the indie game scene. Once again, I apologize if I fail to give the sufficient amount of nods to vast number of bedroom programmers and coffee shop devs who vy for the smallest bit of acknowledgement. Games that really struck a chord with the masses, like ‘Baba is You’, ‘Untitled Goose Game’, and ‘Disco Elysium’. Not all-encompassing of course: personally I was blown away by the styles of ‘Sayonara Wild Hearts’ and ‘Ape Out’: my only regret is that I bought them for the Switch, so currently I cannot show them to my Discord pals. But we’ve had a blast playing ‘Super Animal Royale’ over the past couple of months!

So... those are my collection of thoughts. 2019 wasn’t a golden year or anything, but it had plenty of escapism for those exhausted by our toxic times. 

Right, enough reminiscing. Time to bring this all home. 

December is going to be different this year. Instead of waiting for the last week, I’m going to dedicate almost the entire month for the year’s best posts! From the stuff that broke over the 100 note mark to stuff I found the most interesting. Starting at January and making my way on down, with four posts a day for the rest o.... oh, right, we’re going into permanent fours from now on! Ah, but this time, I’ll have Saturdays dedicated to Holiday-themed posts! A handful of new finds mixed with some old favorites.

So with all this said, thank you all for your continued support and have a safe and happy holiday season! 

See you in 2020!

-@paulruskeaton​

#news #vgpa: best of 2019 #holidays #themes

[topaztales]

Hey! So this is my Richie x Eddie fic, titled Nightmares. 

In summary, Eddie survives and comes to live with Richie after divorcing his wife. But following the events in Derry, Richie struggles with PTSD and heavily internalized homophobia that manifests in terrible nightmares. Richie tries not to show how it’s affecting him, But Eddie eventually catches up.

this one’s kinda angsty but I promise it gets happy, please check AO3 for the complete tag/warning list.

First chapter is below the cut!

NIghtmares

 chapter 1- The Phone Call

Richie could taste blood. It wasn’t his blood, he knew it wasn’t. He knew because Eddie was standing above him wide eyed as the claw tore through his chest. His blood spilled everywhere. It was on Richie’s glasses, in his mouth. He was helpless to watch his best friend, his Eddie, get tossed aside like nothing. Limp. The image was seared into his mind until everything went black. For a moment, it was all gone.

Then Richie could taste blood. Then he watched happen again. Then it was gone and he could taste blood. Then again. And again. Again. Again.

Eventually Richie’s eyes shot open and he was staring at his blurry ceiling, breathing hard. His throat was tight and sore from crying in his sleep.  He scrambled around for his glasses, swinging his legs over the side of his bed so he could sit up property. Shoving his glasses on his face, Richie got his bearings. He was in his small apartment, in Los Angeles, in California. Not in the Neilbolt house, not Derry, not Maine. 

Richie struggled to catch his breath. Bracing his hands on his knees, he recalled Eddie’s old breathing exercises. In, out. In, out, trying to slow his breathing. In, out. Blood on his glasses. No. In, out. Blood in his mouth. Stop it. In, out. In, out. Eddies gone. Richie choked on a sob before clapping his hand over his mouth as if he was afraid of being heard. He knew it wasn’t true, that Eddie was still alive. But when Richie was alone in the dark his mind started playing tricks on him. Richie knew that when he came out the deadlights, he’d just barely knocked Eddie out of the way of the direct path of the claw, but it still did lots of damage. In his dreams, Richie wasn’t so fast. It sent a chill down his spine. 

Shakily, Richie grabbed his phone and unlocked it, staring at his recent call list. Eddie’s name was at the top. They called each other often after leaving Derry. While Eddie was in the hospital, they’d talked about what came next. 

Richie had joked Eddie should become a professional clown killer since he was clearly so good at it. Eddie had just rolled his eyes. He’d been in the hospital for about a week by this point, the wound in his side still requiring professional care. 

“Very funny dickhead.” Eddie retorted, but there was no bite in his words.

“But seriously, are we just supposed to go back to our old lives after this shit?” Richie asked, leaning back in the chair at Eddie’s bedside. “I mean, shit has to change now. I’m going to have to start working killer alien clown jokes into my act. My manager’s gonna have an aneurism.”

Eddie laughed, and Richies heart clenched like he was thirteen again. He loved hearing that laugh.

“Yeah, shit’s gonna change.” he said. Eddie’s voice was soft, almost contemplative. 

Richie huffed. “I just said that dude. Pay attention.” He reached out and pinched Eddie’s not-stabbed cheek. “Earth to Spaghetti, do you copy? Over.”

Eddie slapped his hand away with false annoyance. “Oh grow up Rich, I was literally agreeing with you. God, you’re impossible.” Richie just laughed. 

There was silence for a beat. Richie was looking for a joke to fill the void, but before he could find one Eddie broke the silence. 

“I’m going to leave my wife.” He blurted. Richie was a bit taken aback by the suddenness. Eddie was staring straight ahead, looking surprised at his own outburst.

“So, she told you then?” Richie asked, hesitantly.

Eddie raised an eyebrow at him. “Told me what?”

Richie’s grinned, a look Eddie knew meant a punchline was incoming. “About our torrid affair, I’ve been smashing your woman for weeks now.”

Eddie shoved him. “Oh, beep fucking beep, asshole!” Richie just laughed. “Im serious Rich! God I try to have one genuine moment and you have to fuck it up.”

  “Alright, alright. I’m sorry Eds” Richie certainly didn’t sound sorry. 

“Don’t call me that.”

That exchange had happened about two months ago. Once Eddie was discharged, he went to sort things out with Myra. “I faced an evil alien murder clown,” he’d said. “I can certainly face my wife long enough to leave her.” Richie had swelled with pride at how brave Eddie had been. He’d always been brave. Not like Richie, who woke up crying every night with nightmares. There was a handful of recurring ones, all involving Eddie. Eddie dying was common, so were all the deaths of his friends he watched in the deadlights. But sometimes Richie dreamt they were in the hammock again. Richie would look up from his comic book to see Eddie staring at him, smiling. Then his face would start to flake away into white paint as his features contorted and he’d start mocking Richie. You’re sick Richie! You’re perverted, I know you are. I know all about your dirty little secret. Richie couldn’t move. The voice was an awful amalgamation of Eddie and Pennywise, and it shook Richie to his core. Who’d stay friends with you? You’re a filthy fag. 

Other times he could feel Henry Bowers fists slamming into him, and his head swirled with all of his insults. Freak. Fairy. Pervert. Fag. Sometimes the names were hurled by Bowers, sometimes Pennywise, sometimes Eddie. 

Every time, Richie woke up crying. He’d considered telling Eddie about the nightmares, but he had no idea how that conversation would go. “Hey Eddie sorry to wake you, but my immense gay feelings for you and the traumas we’ve encountered have compounded into terrible nightmares that make my cry like a little bitch.” Yeah, no. Besides the terrible phrasing, Eddie had enough on his plate with his messy divorce. Myra had apparently not taken it well, and they’re still battling it out. He didn’t need Richie stacking more problems on him right now. So Richie would manage. 

Eddie called him later in the day, just after five. Richie had been paying some bills, a terrible and grown up thing to do. He was taking a leave from doing gigs. His manager, Steve, had just about ripped him a new one for leaving on such a short notice until Richie told him an old friend had passed away, and that’s why he left so suddenly. It was also why he needed time from gigs, to “process.” Begrudgingly, Steve accepted. Hard to argue with the dead friend excuse, even if it wasn’t the whole truth. But now he ways paying bills from savings alone, so he was happy for the distraction that was Eddie’s phone call. 

“Chhk, Eduardo, do you copy? Over.” Richie spoke into his cell phone like it was a walkie talkie. He heard Eddie groan on the other end of the line. 

“Remind me why I bother calling you?” Eddie asked.

“Chhk, because I’m your best friend and you have to, chhk, over.”

Eddie chuckled. “Knock it off Rich, I actually have some news.”

“Chhk, You’re supposed to end all transmissions with ‘Over’, Eds. chhk, over.”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie said, before sighing and giving in. “Over.”

Richie smiled. “See, that wasn’t so hard! So what’s the news?” he said, deciding to drop the walkie talkie bit now that Eddie had caved.

“Well,” he sounded shaky. “There’s good news and bad news.”

“I already know the bad news.” Richie said solemnly.

“How’s that?”

“Myra's pregnant and it’s mine.”

Eddie groaned. “I'm hanging up now-”

“Wait, wait!” Richie laughed, “C’mon eds, just tell me what the news is.”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie replied on instinct. He paused for a moment, then said, “We got it finalized today.”

Richie sat up in his chair. “That’s great news! Why didn’t you lead with that?”

He could hear Eddie huff. “Because someone can’t ever shut up long enough to let me get a word in.”

Richie hummed. “Can’t imagine who that would be, sounds a bit rude.”

“He’s the biggest asshole I know, hands down.”

“Well any man who sleeps with his best friend’s now ex-wife has gotta be a huge douche.”

“Jesus Christ, Richie.”

“That’s what your ex-wife said!” Richie jumped at the chance of the joke.

“Would you let me finish?”

“THAT’S WHAT YOUR-” The line went dead as Richie laughed. He knew Eddie didn’t mean anything by the end of the call, it was just a way to tell Richie to shut up. Richie chuckled to himself as he dialed Eddie back. He picked up on the second ring.

“Got it all out of your system dickwad?” Eddie asked, sounding mildly annoyed.

Richie shook his head to himself and answered, “My humor never leaves my system, my dear boy.”

Richie could feel Eddie rolling his eyes on the other side of the country. “Do you even want to hear the bad news?”

Richie paused. Did he? “Yeah, uh, shoot.”

Eddie sighed. He sounded tired now. “Like I said, it’s been messy with Myra. She’s taking everything she can get. That includes, uhm,” Eddie swallowed, “that includes our apartment.”

Richie didn’t really know how to respond to that. The phone was silent for awhile until Eddie spoke up again. “It’s not like I’m homeless now or anything,” he hurried. His voice was a bit nervous and Richie could tell he was going into a freak-out. “Its just I really liked the place and Myra and I picked it out together and I hate apartment hunting because there’s so many factors involved and its so stressful-”

“Move in with me.” Richie blurted. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud, but he hated hearing Eddie panic without being able to do anything about it. Now the line was silent and Richie had to resist the urge to slam his head into his desk. 

“What?” Eddie asked, like he didn’t believe what he’d heard.

Richie stood up from his desk and started pacing nervously. “I- I mean, you could stay with me if you like. At least until you find a place of your own. I don't know, I just thought”-he had not thought at all- “that it might help relieve some of the stress. So you don’t have to rush the process.”

Richie paused, but the line was still silent. Fuck. He’s fucked it. Why does he never think before opening his stupid mouth? Why would Eddie want to stay with him all the way in L.A.? 

His place is a mess! And Richie… well Richie is also a mess. 

“Okay.” Richie was so busy panicking he barely heard the reply.

“What did you say?”

“I said okay, numbnuts. If it’s really alright, I think I need a break from NYC anyways.”

“Oh.” Richie’s heart started to race. He hadn’t seen Eddie since they left Derry. “Well, you’re going to have to give me some time to vacate the guest room.”

“Oh, do you have a guest over? There’s really no rush-”

“No, no, its fine. It’s just that your mom has spent the past few nights with me.”

“Beep Beep Richie.”

They agreed it would be best for Eddie to come the next day, give him time to pack everything and fly over.  So Richie spent the rest of the day cleaning and rearranging his apartment. He did actually have a spare room, but he had made it into a rarely used office/storage room. Eddie would take his room of course. Not only was it cleaner, but Richie secretly hoped that if Eddie was comfortable, he’d stay longer. So Richie rearranged the office to fit an air mattress. Since he had no actual idea of how long Eddie would be staying, at some point he figured he’d have to buy a second bed. He was okay with that, but an air mattress would have to do for now. Then he deep cleaned everything else. He did all the dishes that had stacked up, did laundry, and spent the day swimming in his thoughts as he cleaned. Eddie would be living with him. Living with him! For god knows how long but it was happening! Richie didn’t know if he was more excited or nervous. On one hand, he’d be living with the boy he’d had a crush on since he was thirteen. On the other hand, he’d be living with the straight boy he’d had a secret gay crush on since the eighties, a very unkind time for such situations.

At least I’ll know he’s alive. Richie thought to himself. The thought made his hands freeze over his dishes. In all the excitement over the phone call, Richie hadn’t even considered his nightmares. What if Eddie heard him crying in his sleep? God, that would be embarrassing. But Richie supposed he was right the first time. At least he’d know Eddie was alive. 

Richie had the apartment to a satisfactory level by two A.M., at which point he could barely keep his eyes open. Climbing into bed Richie thought about how tomorrow night, Eddie would be here. He tried to keep his mind on positive thoughts as he drifted to sleep. 

Then Richie could taste blood.

If you enjoyed this chapter please please please go check out the rest on AO3! Chapters 1-3 are there now with roughly two more on the way. Hope you liked it!

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