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nayomi247 · 13 days

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I cant believe like... no one in the fandom has done a post like this yet that I can find?? It seems like a staple, and Im sending it here cause your wonderful and need more requests mwuah (´ з `)

What do you think would be some of the Hazbin Crew's ideal s/o? Like, what would attract them/get their attention initially, what they would need in a longtime partner, that type of thing! I would LOVE if you did Lucifer, Alastor, and Vox (my BOYS *sobs*) but feel free to do anyone and everyone you want to!

Their Ideal S/O

A/N: Thank you for this lovely request mwah😙 Also I sprinkled in other hcs to that I thought of while writing this

Pairing: Lucifer/Reader, Alastor/Reader, & Vox/Reader

Work under the cut🤞🏻

I feel like this man would love a clingy lover. Please always hold his hand. Sit on his lap while he does his work. Cuddle him to sleep at night. He LOVES physical touch.

Lucifer:

He'd also want a person he can spoil. He wants you to know he cares. He shows this by gift giving; (another one of his love languages) anything in his power is yours for the asking, you just name it!

As for looks, he wouldn't really care about those. He loves you for who you are.... THOUGH, if you were tall, he'd like to be topped by you. Or if you were short, he would tease you for that and act all proud bc he's taller than someone.

The thing that initially attracted him though was your smile. He always adored it. Just seeing you laugh and be happy always made his heart flutter.

He wants someone who can take care of him. He's a very needy man and is almost like a toddler to some degree. Of course he could do this stuff himself, but it makes him feel better knowing that you're willing to do it for him.

If you're gonna be with him, you have to be nice to Charlie. That's non negotiable. He doesn't want to put you in a spot where you feel like you have to parent her, of course not. All he wants is for his 2 favorite people to get along.

He needs someone who's willing to commit to the relationship as much as he is. He's still a bit hurt from Lilith, and he's trusting you to not break his heart like she did. He would be crushed.

Alastor:

He isn't one to like physical touch very much. Maybe a peck on the cheek here, holding hands a bit there, but other than that he doesn't want to be touched. Don't get me wrong, he loves you a lot! But he's not really the.. touchy type.

I see him more as lover that would like words of affirmation or quality time. Just your presence alone is enough for him. Though if he's with a clingy partner, he'll probably get them a plushy or something of the sort to hug and cuddle when he's in his 'no touch mood'.

He'd like if if you could cook. You could help him prepare jambalaya and other dishes his mom showed him to make. It'd be a great bonding experience.

Like Lucifer, he doesn't care much for looks. As long as you're willing to commit to him as he does for you, then it doesn't matter to him what you look like.

To be completely honest, he doesn't know exactly why he loves you or even fell for you in the first place. But he does, and did. Who is he to question that?

Vox:

This man is also a big physical touch lover. He always has his hand on your thigh, holding your hand, or just touching any place he can.

Please let him spoil you. You'd always have the latest phone and other tech like that. If you want something, he'd be glad to give it to you.

He wants someone that's loyal to him and only him. If he sees anyone else trying to flirt with you (*cough cough* val) he'd go absolutely insane. You are his.

If you could cook, he'd always love to eat your meals, breakfast lunch and dinner. Would 100% brag to the other Vees when he has lunch.

He'd prefer it if you're good with tech. He wants to be able to brainstorm ideas with you and show off his latest inventions. Also it would make it 10x easier to clean his system if you were the one to do it.

He cares more about looks than the other 2, but it's not a deal breaker for him. He'd like it if you were good looking (You're beautiful no matter what though ofc) but it's not a need. Regardless, he'd still call you beautiful and his pretty thing

He fell for you because of your of your personality. The way you walk about and present yourself. You take bullshit from anyone, you know your worth. Much as he does. You're like him, you both understand each other. That's why he sought out your love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry if this exactly what you hoped it would be, I know I added a few random things but I hope you like it regardless :]

Once again thank you for the ask<3

{Taglist}

@wonderlandangelsposts

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rin-and-jade · 10 days

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Is This (Truly) My Reflection..? : A Post on Imposter Syndrome [Master Guide]

" Did well on a test? Must be luck. They think im smart? Man, i must've tricked them because im not. My condition is bad? Well it could be even worser than this. Im struggling? Must be a minor thing, plus everyone struggles worser right..? "

If these words hits close to home, take a moment to look in the mirror. What do you notice? Maybe you fear lots of things, having horrible self-esteem, or being a perfectionist and overthinking everything?

Fear not! They're just blotches obscuring your true reflection, let's finally clean your mirror, shall we? So let's get on with the post;

How did go dusty?

Materialistically speaking, we all know that objects also need regular maintenance to keep it's best quality and lifetime,, mirrors are one of them, especially glasses because magical smudges spawns in once in a while, pretty annoying to see with when things are not clear isn't it?

I think the imposter image also clouds you the same way, it doesn't change the facts, but it does change the way you perceive them.

But, how did they spawn in your vision? It doesn't just pop out, maybe we didn't see it coming when it's small, dust and smears are more visible when they cluster together. What this means is how criticism, out-of-reach demands, and unrealistic expectations you hear most often gets accumulated, slowly obscuring you. Make sense right?

Since the things you hear the most echoes through your chamber harder than the less frequent ones, and that nobody hear's the same thing/words automatically means there are different forms of this syndrome's manifestation, i'll list them down: (bare in mind this is read in a pov of talking to oneself)

Perfectionist - "It all has to be right" You must do it perfect, everything must go smooth, if it doesn't go like how you planned you could've done better in many ways because why can't you see it coming before? That's impossible and unforgivable, there's no toleration for mistakes. Makes you look like you're not as good enough as others.

Expert - "Until then, i may be competent" There's a lot to master or learn, only then you can call yourself worthy of a title. Because the greatest ones must know everything, they don't have any weaknesses--since that's what an expert is! What are you, who learnt most things it has to give, but still missing a lot of little gaps? Once it is all flawless and understood you can call yourself that.

Natural Genius - "I am great, as long i can wing it" Everything must be an easy feat, you must be able to do things right on first try, if not, you might be no other than an average person. Geniuses are fast learning--and they can do everything right where people least expect it. Only then you can truly be smart or intelligent, wrong deductions are associated with less bright people! So if you just make one mistake out of anything, You are just the same as them, you don't have such talent!!

Lone wolf - "It's not real effort if it's intervened" A status or level means nothing if someone helps you, because thats cheating! You should start from scratch like everyone else, asking for help will equate to not being competent or worthy. You will never be able to asses your competence or abilities if it was assisted by someone else, you need to prove being worthy by doing it all yourself!

Hardest Worker - "I should perform as the best" Only if you work the most, the hardest, diligently and with no rest, is only when you can settle down and claim your achievements. What are you if you are not as special? You are nothing but a fraud if you're not the hardest working person ever, you also don't deserve to take a break until you reach to a higher level than others! You are nothing if you are not productive, or didn't achieve any amazing outcome.

Each types has its own fixations and areas where self-doubt comes around, you might even be a mix of these 5 (pick the dominant one if can), the manifestations are endless. Note that the main theme it all has are fear of being fake/inadequate and, or causing extreme doubt, one way or another.

If you need more assurance, i have prepared links for two short quizzes to figure out if you are showing signs of the imposter syndrome! They're already tested by me, so give these two a try.

How should i clean it??

Good question, but before that, i want to mention that this inner critic is a common automatic second voice where it's created in a place of potential abuse or mistreatment for many kinds of victims. Just like how you wipe your stuffs clean can go dirty in a few days despite leaving it be, this is the same. But the more you take care of your glass, the harder the specks will stick on it. That's our goal right there: Make the critics bother you less and more weak the more we deflect them.

Now to the main point, its a tough one here, because depending on what type you have, has it's own root of cause that needs to be tackled accordingly. This post is how to specifically tackle the sense of fraud in being a system, but you can apply this to any other general things the syndrome is causing you problems at.

Dear Perfectionist, here's how you can clean your mirror:

Understand that CDDs have no 'right' way of how it'll present the symptoms to you. Like, for someone to have a cold who have a sore throat for the early onset, while you're having runny nose,, does not mean you are the odd one out for not being the same as other's manifestation.

Nothing is constant, or the same, in frequency or intensity. You don't have to suffer 24/7 to finally accept you have a CDD or anything else. Just like for those with chronic pain, who doesn't experience pain for a day, does not mean they are cured of, or not having it. One minute of feeling okay still can happen to those with illnesses.

Perfectionism seeks outward assurance to fit whatever it finds 'right' or it's prime example as reference, which is the opposite of what you truly need: Acceptance. Comparison can be helpful, but oftentimes it causes counterproductive results. Your experiences are already real and it uniquely belongs to you, no amount of external validation will fill you, accept as how you are.

Dear Expert, here's how you can clean your mirror:

Having CDD means having a very covert disorder, it is not that you're a fraud for not knowing, or have proof of what caused you to be one, or know every parts and places in the innerworld, or need a perfect book filled with documentation on anything you can find. You do not need to 'master' or understand how your disorder truly works in order to feel like you have it--because guess what, you do have despite it, buddy.

You cannot rush things! Take things slow and steady, a microwaved meal may not taste good but it sure gets served in a mere minute, but gourmet are made from long and tedious work that trusts the process instead of the final result. Many systems rush to develop a better communication without fully learning what type of communication they have, like communicating with vibes instead of the stereotypical type for example.

Nobody ever figure things out by a 100%, so ease back and embrace uncertainty and the unknown. If the greatest researchers still can't make sense of how our galaxy works, then you should not be guilty or feel incompetent for not being able to figure it out, we are not perfect ofcourse, there are limitations to what we can know of our CDD.

Dear Natural Genius, here's how you can clean your mirror:

Having a disorder does not mean you immediately know what it does, will do, or how it'll turn out. Never feel bad about learning from scratch, you also don't have to get things right first try because it might be a new topic you're unfamiliar with. If you once think you have DID, but turns out to be Polyfragmented the longer you learn and research, it is a very natural thing to experience as CDD's have many similarities between each other.

You can't keep relying on being unprepared, but expect to do it perfect. It is not a negative thing to always recap, or learn it again, and whenever you do get things wrong, it is a valuable information to learn from, it's not your enemy. The lightbulb isn't invented at first try, but after hundreds and thousands of tries, and the worth still never gets devalued.

Dear Lone Wolf, here's how you can clean your mirror:

It is never cheating to ask for help, or get insight from another person. It never means you are not competent if you need some external help, rather like how you cannot see crumbs in your face until someone points it out. One can do an okay amount of progress, but if with many, it can progress even better and faster.

You must dismantle whatever makes you think of this way, things like hyper-independence are caused by a deeper root, you must delve and explore why are you only deemed worth, or feel okay, if you do everything yourself. We grow better when we surround ourselves with many other things.

Dear Hardest Worker, here's how you can clean your mirror:

healing is a journey, i understand that you want to get over with the whole CDD's symptoms and it's problems and start getting into final fusion/functional system, that the fluctuation with everyday's progress may frustrate you, but everyday doesn't have to be succeeding something or have an eureka, progress is never linear. You will still get there one day, don't fret on it too much okay?

Worries may not leave you alone fully, and just so you know, your worth or validation isn't tied with productivity. Whatever guilt or doubt you have that is causing this, i hope you can incorporate more self-compassion. For the alter with role jobs, you all deserve to have a break and have fun outside of those jobs, and rely with other parts for help. You're doing enough.

Why does it happen? Where's the takeaway?

Well, imposter syndrome relies on many biases/distortions and possible fallacies, i'll tell you some in hopes of helping you get out of its grip better than your previous attempts after learning the awful trick of theirs:

Confirmation bias: When you take a part of a fact to confirm your current image of you have, whilst downplaying contradicting and or disregarding other pov to maintain it.

Mental filter: Fixated on the negative aspects or flaws while missing out on the bigger picture or contextual information it has. Leading to false judgement of one's situation/ability.

Overgeneralization: Where a person assumes an experience from one event will apply to another different event. Or base an answer from a limited evidence or current failures. For example, interpreting a single mistake or setback as evidence that they are incompetent or unworthy, despite having a track record of success in other areas.

False consensus bias: Believing that others share the same negative opinions or doubts about oneself, even when there is little evidence to support this assumption. For example, one may believe that everyone in their workplace or academic environment is highly competent and confident, leading them to feel even more out of place and undeserving.

Fundamental attribution error: Where one underemphasize situational and environmental factors for the behavior of itself/someone else while overemphasizing dispositional or personality factors. For example, people who cut lines in traffic is a jerk, but if you cut traffic it's because there's something important. The pure opposite can be true in this specific example: Sarah receives praise from her supervisor for completing a project ahead of schedule and with excellent quality. However, instead of attributing her success to hard work, skills, and knowledge, she discounts the positive feedback by attributing the outcome to external factors. Saying "I just got lucky this time," or "My team members helped me a lot, so it wasn't all my effort." instead.

So there a hecking ton of information i put here.. But these things are very important to learn about, because the imposter syndrome is a multifaceted problem that has to be addressed in more than one angle.

I hope, everything that is written from start to end, can be used as your chemical cleaner, wiping cloth, along with your handy guide on how to take care of your mirror professionally,

Happy cleaning everyone!

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #plural #system stuff #jeducates #imposter syndrome

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genericpuff · 6 months

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I followed artsangel since her previous comic immaterial. I have to say she IS talented and has the skills. But her style is verrrrry time consuming and she would only update every 2 weeks. I used to study her art a lot because I was always impressed by it, and Im fairly certain it did not look like like that when it was on canvas. I used to see her progresses on her stories and she uses a lot of assets and predrawn faces to keep her consistent pixar look. The faces were less uncanny and more expressive. Now the eyes are all wonky and displaced.

I think she may have used ai to polish her panels. Perhaps the workload proved too much, or maybe she was feeling insecure. I was concerned when she got picked up by webtoon because I could tell it would be difficult for her to keep up the schedule. Ai is super powerful but its not powerful enough to make a COMIC, not even consistently. She probably using it as an enhancer to her already great skills. A shame though, she doesn’t need it.

Also I think the reason her preproduction period was so quick is because she was highly prepared before launch. She already has multiple comics under her belt and webtoon probably didn’t need to change much. Im sure she just reused her canvas comic for her reboot and built a buffer in the meantime.

Having to meet deadlines can definitely be a reason but not an excuse IMO.

One creator I can think of who has a similar style (albeit in black and grey) is figmentforms, creator of A Tale of Two Rulers.

Updates are slow, she posts maybe a new page once a month, the art is gorgeous but it's clear it takes her time. It's a free to read comic. It's worth the wait.

That said, if she wanted to make her updates more frequent, I wouldn't blame her at all for utilizing new tools and methods to do so - but it wouldn't justify her in using AI tools that are stealing other people's art.

There are loads of shortcuts that artists already use that are fine because they're still genuinely handcrafted. 3D models, overlay textures, blur effects, etc. are all tools that artists use to help speed up the drawing process and were made by hand.

And beyond that, the need to make the process more efficient isn't a crime, but it's in how you do it. You can use these tools irresponsibly or at the cost of your own comic's quality. Case in point, Lore Olympus and Let's Play, which are both godawful in how they implement 3D backgrounds and stock images:

Creating comics is finding a balance between efficiency and quality, not sacrificing one for the other and using it as justification to avoid criticism for that sacrifice.

If Sarah Ellerton was using AI based on her own art and being honest about it, I don't think anyone would be nearly as upset. It might prompt a debate over what's ethical in the world of comics - whether or not it's right for consumers to pay for a product that's being churned out of an AI prompt - but at least it wouldn't be theft and it would probably just be there as an aid to an artist who's been doing this for 20 years and had to find a way to make the process more efficient. I think AI can be used as a productive tool if it's implemented responsibly and without being at the cost of another artist's work.

The issue is that 1.) Sarah is being VERY suspicious over the whole thing which leads us to believe that she's NOT using ethical AI assistance, and 2.) there's a VERY clear distinction near the end of her previous comic, Immaterial, where you can basically tell when she adopted AI. The main character Alex, for example, literally became a whole other person.

This is a common problem for AI coloring prompts, a LOT of them are bad at rendering darker skin tones (I think I mentioned this in my last post, but I literally got to playtest AI coloring tools from WT's a couple years ago, and they could NOT figure out darker skin tones, any dark colors that were put down were assumed to be shadows so characters just looked like white characters with the curtains pulled over their face).

She just looks like a SamDoesArts poster girl now. Everything unique about her has been stripped away and you can see this transition in the final page of Immaterial and the first episode of Quantum Entanglement:

None of it feels like organically her, it feels like a cheap machine reproduction.

I don't doubt that this person has evolved a lot as an artist or that her older work was genuinely her, she's clearly got a lot of skill that only someone who's been drawing comics for years would gain.

But it's clear somewhere along the way she succumbed to insecurity or stopped caring enough to start using AI to do the heavy lifting. I mean honestly, her work from before was fine! So I don't see why she would be using it for 'polishing', there are so many ugly ass webtoons on the platform so even the art from Immaterial - even if she had to simplify it a bit more to make it easier to meet deadlines - would likely be a refreshing change of pace.

But the way she's utilized AI here, I was quicker to assume Sam Yang drew Quantum Entanglement when I first saw it.

And it is a shame, because, as you said, she doesn't need it. Her art is perfectly capable on its own and while I can understand her need to make the process more efficient, there are better ways to do that than using AI that's clearly ripping off other artists and then lying about it. It's a shame she'd put her reputation on the line as a seasoned artist just to meet Webtoons' stupid deadlines. Like, how can it be worth it?

#quantum entanglement #webtoon critical #anti AI

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thesherrinfordfacility · 9 months

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@theeminentlyimpractical raised obviously a really, really good point in her post; the fact that the bentley becomes valid property of an angel makes it so shax cannot enter without his permission (and crowley accepts it etc). so it would indicate that it's his invitation that unlocks it, so to speak.

so what does this say about the bookshop in ep6? how is it that maggie, by all accounts is a human, is able to give permission for them to enter? how is her permission able to supercede aziraphale's clear "you are not welcome here." is it because her shop still sits in the boundary line? is it that anyone can give that power if they are under its protection? why is human 'power' recognised by demons? ...or is it?

i know there have been theories floating around to varying degrees that maggie might be a demon, or might be 'the only one awake'... that she misspelt 'urgency' within the first ten minutes, has had a record shop carved out of aziraphale's bookshop at the time of her great-grandmother, and seems utterly unphased by the magic spell (?) during the ball...

i put to you, members of the jury (and i can't believe im typing out this potential nonsense) that she may be fallen, but fallen to human. given the emphasis on memory, that she has lost any recollection of being an angel, but still retains some of her power. is able to resist the bookshop miracle, but is overcome with her love for nina that:

she's shown as being a music lover, kind and selfless, and brave... familiar qualities. she wears gold angel-wing earrings (struggling to get a good enough shot of them, but strike me as being similar to aziraphale's ring). she dresses in vaguely lighter clothing with darker elements (cardigan etc.) up until the ball. she describes her teenage years as being rather tame, and doesn't partake in alcohol (which, let's be clear, is a perfectly valid thing on its own, but just pointing it out!)...

aziraphale is obviously very comfortable with her - probably because she reflects crowley, but also thinking about his comment about the "beehive". she had brothers, and has "spent her whole life being scared"…

and ultimately, isn't this kind of resolution the sort that as it stands, we're predicting aziraphale and crowley's story to come to, even if they choose not to? i realise a lot of her characteristics are shown as being a reflection of aziraphale but truly she mirrors crowley's character arc... but maybe it's something more than that?

#good omens #utter bullshit once again BUT the bit about permission into the shop is bothering me #we need to talk about maggie theory #sanctuary/bentley theory

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flyingspicerack · 1 year

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Inside Job Pt2Ep3 Myc Analysis Pt2

FIRST PART HERE

IM GETTING RIGHT INTO IT!

OK SO!! ASSIMILATED MYC HUH?! First of all, the color palette change..... i like it in what it represents, its a good way to depic that he's different without having to keep that like, blue aura aura around him. HOWEVER, it makes me feel weird because THIS ISN'T MY MYC!!!

Also his voice...... not.... not for me. BUT I LOVE THE warbling echoey quality they gave him right when attuned. A lot of this is gonna be me PRAISING what the writers did, but me being pupsetti cause thats not my babygirl

AHHHH Brett's face here is so cute, hes so excited to be included in girls night!!!! Also! I feel like at this point the Hive isn't tapped into anyone but Myc so... does Myc genuinely watch Sex and the City? I think so.

MYC'S TOWNHOUSE! UOGHHHHHH OKAY SO FOR REALS!!! Does he have one? I GUESS SO? Is this what it looks like?? I DONT KNOW! Could the hive be making something up? Maybe?? But like, how would the hive know what to make up if they have been in the hollow earth for centuries, they have to tap into Myc. SO, is this REALLY what Myc's townhouse looks like? Or is this what he want's his friends to believe it is?? Because all of this is a hallucination so?? Like they cater to Brett and Gigi with the rock wall and bookshelf, so would he cater it to look like something he wants? THEN AGAIN! We saw Myc's little nook in his office in the beginning of the episode and that was classy as fuck with his little couch and the record player, so who's to say if this is mostly a REAL depiction of his brownstone. I will say though, it's fucking hot as hell and I think it IS at least the floorplan, like i think the floorplan is the same, whether or not its decorated like this? HHHHHHHHHH I dunno?? BUT I LOVE IT EITHER WAY BECAUSE I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

MYC APRON MYC APRON MYC PINK APRON THE PINK APRON ITS AN APRON AND ITS PINK AND HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"... mainly because all of my orifices are interchangeable" .... what... what WHAT WHAT??? Baby ..... WHAT DO YOU MEAN????? YOU HAVE HOLES???? YOU HAVE... HFHSEOUGHG;HJSD;LEG OHHHHHHH LORDLY LORDY LORD THE WRITERS HAVE GIVEN ME SO MUCH MORE THAN I COULD EVER ASK FOR HUIGREHJOSGJ'SG

I genuinely think this mural is so.... SO beautiful, if I could have it as a poster or a tapestry i fucking would. I also wanna know what the writing system is like.... UGH ITS SO PRETTY

ANYWAY I THINK its so so funny that they totally retconned the whole thing about the mushrooms being aliens, like at first Myc would get so mad and say they weren't but then now they are?? lmao and the whole lore they made of early apes eating mushrooms and then evolving? FUCKING GREAT

I just like myc's house.... look at his fancy kitchen ... AND IS THAT A FIREPLACEEEEEEEEEEEE uoghhhh

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANDRE MISSES THE OLD MYC, AND YES! HE DID ROAST OUT OF LOVE!!!! ANDRE KNOWS CAUSE HE KNOWS THAT HE LOVES ALL OF THEM!! AND NO ONE DENIES IT!!!! HE LOVES THEMMMMMMMM (yes sure next glenn says out of hate but listen-)

Also!! I reallu like these weird globby mushroom cave wall things, theyre soooo cool

"Who wants some fucking dirt to eat? I'm still being nice, I like dirt!" BABY GHUIDSRHNS;G HES STILL A LITTLE BITCHY?????? HUAOGHH Baby i will eat dirt for you, i will eat it and like it

OKAY HERE IS SOMTHING I HAVE CONFLICTING THOUGHTS ON!!! THE poetry night thing. I saw another post (here) about the gang actually being there and Myc not sensing them, and i like that take, but ALSO I like the idea of them genuinely not going because they don't like him and dont think his poetry would be good, and Reagan is just talking out her ass about it? Like, I can see both ways being real good, IDK!!!

And then the thing specifically ANDRE said.... the jacking off in the break room over the pic on a box of mushroom calzones.... baby, honey.... that is somehow both so pathetic and so hot i don't know what to do with myself other than save this information for later

This image.... HURTS THE ANISE he genuinely looks SO upset, sad, distraught, deflated, this is THE SINGLE MOST upsetting image of Myc IMO, because its HIM in there that's being tormented and the hive is trying to fight it, but Myc is just.... he's actually SO sensitive and he cant handle a roast WITHOUT HIS DEFENSE MECHANISM OF HIS PERSONALITY THAT THE HIVE TOOK AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LOOK AT HIM!!!! HE IS SO!!!!!! UAGHFEFFS HES IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO!!! You can see with the blue glow that the hive is trying to regain control of the situation and he's glowing blue

Mmmmmm yeah, Myc was right to get really mad for this, Brett went too far, and I think thats why he said it, to break him... I just think it's so interesting they went with a roast to get Myc back because it seems like roasts are like .... a bygone era? Like i bet if youre watching this show in your mid-late 20s you can remember when roasts were like, on tv all the time, but now you dont really see the concept all that much?? Idk i think it's interesting I guess. Anyway comparing Myc to Jar Jar Binks is a hate crime and im gonna beat up brett for it <3

oh my GOD look how curled in and angy he is.... his little fists....

SIDEBAR!!! Eberyone SO HAPPY that he's back, like all of them so fucking.,... LIKE I SPECFICALLY want to talk about GLENN of all people. Like dont get me wrong, all of them are really pleased, but GLENN? Like.... look at how SOFT his face is?? Like he is so genuinely glad to have this fucker back,,,,,, hgusehkl;s and also andre.... oh dr lee dont make that face ur gonna have me actin up ohhhhhhgggh hes so satisfied

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HANDS ON HIS HIPS!! SO SASSY!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaan, boom goes the dynamite

HE DOESNT HATE THEM HE DOESNT HATE HIS TEAM HE LOVES HIS TEAM HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE HIS FOUND FAMILY THEY DONT BULLY HIM THEY ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS THEY LOVE HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE HE IS, HES THEIR FRIEND, AND HE LOVES THEM AS MUCH AS HE SAYS HE DOESNT HE LOVES HIS TEAM THEY ARE HIS BEST FRIENDS AND AAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM GONNA BE CRYING FOR THE NEXT 5000 YEARS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LIKE LOOK ATT ALL OF THEIR FACES WHEN HE SAYS HE DOESNT HATE THEM!!!!!! LOOK AT GIGI!!!!!! LOOK AT ANDRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM CRYING REAL TEARS AND ITS BECAUSE I LOVE MX MYC CELLIUM

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GET BACK AT YOUR HIVE!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MOST INTERESTING!!!!! THEYRE ALL CHUMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO! ANOTHER THING TO NOTE!!!!! When Myc is getting ready to do this whole spore process thing, and use his big powers here, he very slightly switched back to his hive color palette.... but then a moment later we see him in his normal one, so im thinking he is like.... getting all of the hives influence just.... out of him for good? maybe i dunno but i like that

god god god god. okay HERE his voice is SO CALM so!! JUST SO!! He understands that Reagan isn't insulting him, he knows that she really cares..... he makes me MELT ANS THEH NUN THE HEHPFIE:SJFKNK ANDS THEN AND THEN AND THEN IN THE NEXT SCENE IT CONTINUES OKAY

THIS IS HIS HIVE THIS IS HIS HIVE RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEURE HIS HIVE AND HE CARES BOUT THEM HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH FUREIHTGL; GHRDGR;LGHSDGBKJ;EDGHWSLK; LOOK AT GIGI LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS GHRODSGS;GN; AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT WITH THIS AUGFHRS;DKGFL;FVS

MMMMMMM YES podcast myc ,,,, love this guy LOVE HIM LOVE HIM SM SMS SMSMMSMSMSMSMSMSMS AWOOOOOOOOOOGA I AM THE NUMBER 1 LISTENER OF FRESH DIRT UAGHHHHHH (i would also like to know if gigi and reagan drunk kiss pls)

AND YALL THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER!!!! SPECIAL BONUS ROUND WHERE I MAKE ONE (1) COMMENT ABOUT THE OTHER THING

pregnant myc.... aright i am gonna give my OWN motherfucking opinions abt this because im TOO SERIOUS about it....

Myc is a mushroom, hes not a man, while he may use he/him pronouns, hes a mushroom first and foremost who canonically uses Mx. instead of Mr. like all of this is canon. He ALSO when finding out he is preggers, he says he wants to be a mother, a MOTHER, he wants to experience the joys of motherhood.... NON BINARY LEGEND! FUCKING mushrooms have NO TIES to human gender, so TEACHINALLY this cant really be considered mpreg, and it ISNT in my eyes, fucking label it mpreg all u fucking want but I DONT FUCKING AGREE OR BUY IT, dont come at me for this ill bully you into the ground

Anyway, my name is Anise and I want to thank everyone for their time for reading my Myc Cellium analysis. This character means more to me than anyone on the internet or even Shion Takeuchi herself can fathom.... and as far as IM concerned, i love him more than ANYONE ever will, whats that post? If Myc has fans, im one of them, if he doesnt, that means im dead, or whatever. I DONT KNOW I JUST KNOW that I love him more than EVERYONE and that is a FACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway if you like inside job and like self insert shipping content folow me to see my silly little guy kiss this stupid mushroom and stream inside job on netflix <3

#inside job #myc #magic myc #myc cellium #character analysis #inside job netflix #reagan ridley #brett hand #gigi thompson #andre lee #glenn dolphman #once again i the ceo of magic myc amd here to finish this analysis and spin like a balerina for all of eternity #i love this mushroom more than my own family #he legit has competition against my irl best friends

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aphrodite-made-me-write-it · 9 months

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hihi are you still continuing everything stays?

hi lovely!

unfortunately i dont think i'll be doing any more imagines any time soon, but if i do, i'll be sure to bring out the proper fanfare

if you like bishova and wandanat, i am in the works (very distant works) of a fic w a similar vibe on my ao3, which is now going to be entirely fanfic that isn't self-insert but you can still find some of 'em on there if you're signed up though this blog is your best bet to find all of them.

however, if you wanna stick w imagines that's totally fine and here's some awesome authors you should follow if you don't already!

@abbyromanoff (they're still new-ish to posting/writing here so make sure to give them extra love and they were a longtime follower of my blog so i mayyyy be a lil biased hehe)

@scmg11 (another longtime follower and semi-new poster (i think) so also give em extra love!)

@cinamonqirl (kate bishop exclusive writer, i think they've also followed me for a while haha but they got some great kate fics)

@maximoffwitch (quality smut content)

@marvelobsessed134 (also quality smut. sorry, i am apparently always horny)

@caroldantops (longtime fav of mine)

@reminiscingtonight (another longtime fav of mine)

if i forgot about you, im sorry, let's use this as an opportunity to shout out some writers! im sorry i'm not writing imagines so much anymore, but i might turn back to em bc they're a good way for me to exercise my writing and my brain. who knows.

i hope you guys are doing okay! even though im not on here so much, this inbox is always open if you need to vent and if you need fic recs! i love you guys so much and im so thankful for the love you show for my writing, even now. when i get them lil notifs in my email i get so much goddamn serotonin in my system

if you want, you can follow my main blog (which is multifandom and just kinda nonsensical, i usually go on weird tangents in tags) @bluebipples ooooor if you wanna read my bishova (and maybe future wandanat?) fics, you can follow my other writing/fic blog @sapphroditewrites though they're all gonna be on ao3 and only available to read if you're a member. im pretty sure somewhere on this very blog is me stressing over the aipocalypse

alright, enough about me and you, if you're a writer or have a writer you love for imagines, please feel free to shout them/yourself out!

#and if i annoyed u by tagging u IM SORRY MY LOVE ANNOYS YOU #im jk #no but fr i love u all i hope ur ok pls remember to take care of urselves #also i try to follow back on my main bc i've been on here for so long half of my ogs are.... gone :(

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skinnytuna · 11 months

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(i'm anon who replied to your long post about audience validation and art)

thank you for your response, it's very interesting. it's actually kinda funny because I used to be a person who never, ever shared anything I did with other people (online or in person). I wouldn't talk about the media I enjoyed or showed the drawings I made. it always felt too intimate - I was only doing it for myself and so having other people's eyes on it wouldn't add anything to my enjoyment apart from shame from not liking or creating the 'perfect' thing. if I imagined what I would do in the future, it was only from the perspective of what I would actually create, rather than the validation it would give me.

and then my world view flipped, I guess as I became increasingly exposed to online validation. I still dont share anything I make but if I (indulgently) daydream about creating something, it is rarely purely the process of creation that I think about. I cant separate the stuff I do and the response I would get like I could as a kid. this is probably partly because of watching numbers rise online. but maybe it could also just be the sad reality of transitioning into adulthood? when you are young the stuff you make is never going to get you shit. but when you are older, you are expected to view the world with a transactional slant: whatever you give, you must get back in return.

idk how into fandoms you are but I love them because they are a way to remove that dependence on transaction (both monetary and inter-personal validation) we have. obviously, fandoms mostly exist in an online world and so some people are going to be more successful at creating than others (and some people might even manage to make a tiny amount of money) but mostly they are pretty equal. most artists (fic writers/fan artists) are only creating for the sake of creation. they like something, want to improve it or want to explore a world and so they create. some fanfic writers will never get past 100 kudos on a single work, but they still write thousands and thousands of more words. this is because, for them, writing is a hobby and a way to have fun. they are literally unable to monetise it, and the possible size of a response is often limited by the tiny size of a niche fandom.

fan fiction is wholly and unapologetically amateur. it can be a great quality, but writers have the freedom to create imperfect things and learn as they go. there are no critics, book sales or best seller lists - you can just make shit and put it out there if you want.

idk if any of that made sense but yeah

it's funny you say that about adulthood because there are so many like. 13 year old rappers now who are solely in it for the money or dont understand why they are doing it and their parents are encouraging them to do it for the money so like. childhood for us was very different to what childhood currently is, right now this year.

but i personally cant remember a time when i wasn't desperate for validation like when i was playing guitar when i was 8 or 10 i still had that "i hope im good enough i want to be good enough without trying" feeling it's just the people i wanted to impress were like, authority figures. i wanted my guitar teacher to think i was cool. i wanted my moms friends to think i was funny. i'm still afraid of doing anything i haven't already learned how to do, writing is the first New thing i've attempted in maybe my entire adulthood.

it's kind of funny, when i was younger i didn't realize how bad i was at writing music and that's the only reason i stuck to it long enough to learn anything. i was like laughably bad at it in high school and no one really went out of there way to grab me by the shoulders and say "hey! you suck at this! stop!" though a bunch of people did tell me it kinda sucked. i mostly just thought they were wrong. they weren't. but now part of me doesn't believe i could ever be any good at something that isn't that. like when i write fiction i know on a cognitive level if it ends up being good it's not because i worked hard or earned it or anything it's just a complete fluke. and i don't even really believe people when they tell me it's good. even though obviously i'm only posting it so people will tell me it's good.

in a way i feel like i'm sort of shifting back to the way i was in high school... every piece of art i make im like "this is the best shit ever" and then i post it and if people tell me it sucks im like "lol. incorrect. your tastes are Unrefined" and then i keep making more whatever crap whatever. which honestly is the best way to live i think. i have some people in my life who really like, respect and admire that i make whatever the fuck i want without ever really considering whether or not i should. which is funny because i have a lot of people in my life who are like, Normal artists, who Think before they make something, and try to make Good Things and i envy them greatly because it really comes through in the work.

though obviously as an evil bastard communist i am a strong believer that "Bad" Art Is Radical and "Good" Art is Bourgeois Idealism and i find myself constantly torn between, the allure of timesinks and iteration and the mystique of hyperprolific stream of consciousness artists and i feel like i'm the worst of both worlds by not being fully one way or the other! but i guess not everyone can be Lil B and not everyone can be Frank Ocean and some of us need to sit in between those two extremes...

look at all this me talking about how i never stop and think about the art while i'm stopping and thinking about the art... i'm an Olympic level liar rn.

i've never read a fanfiction in my life (outside of like.. homestuck smut when i was fifteen. which i guess Technically Counts.) but as the form is widely derided i'm sure it has the most artistic merit of any thing. i think a lot about what a world would be like where money and art are completely unrelated. and all art exists completely separate from how much dollars it can make a corporation. would being popular even matter? would people still seek fame... complicated questions. Way if we pees form butts

#you better tell me who you are anon we better become friends

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nakanotamu · 9 months

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ive never actually watched a stardom match and im really bad at learning new things, so how would you recommend watching matches? and do you have recs for what matches to watch first?

AHH I'm so so happy to hear you're even thinking about checking them out I love getting asks like this!

Okay so idk what your familiarity is with pro wrestling but if you've like never watched wrestling at all my friend wrote a guide to starting with Japanese pro wrestling here. It's targetted towards people also learning Japanese and much more comprehensive promotion wise than just Stardom so the part you'd want to read is the one labeled "How プロレス storytelling works".

As for how to watch Stardom like the literal steps of how to find Stardom matches, I answered that in my sort-of beginner's guide here. (I talked about a couple other companies as well but me being me it's mostly Stardom.) tl;dr kind of the only way to watch Stardom matches in full and in decent quality is just paying for a sub to Stardom World. There are pirate sites but they tend to only have big shows and top out at 15 year old cellphone quality, and there are highlights (though I think those have become more rare?) and the weekly show on youtube if you're really not sure about the like $8, but World has everything.

As far as specific matches I have sort of two answers for this. I did, pretty recently, recommend a bunch of random matches in this post right here, and stand by those as matches I really enjoyed. Also I have since watched the QQ vs OT cagematch I mentioned there and can confirm it owns and I think the emotions will still come through even if you didn't follow the whole story.

However. That is where the second answer comes in - following stories. To be quite frank I think watching old wrestling matches is overrated, I think most of the fun is in following along with wrestling; wrestling is something happening right now. This is probably an ironic answer from someone who is like chronically a month behind bc I can't stand to ever skip a show but I am who I am. Maybe it's more accurate to say I think rewatching matches is overrated.

But anyway the simplest way to put it is my rec for matches to watch first is matches that you think look interesting that have happened pretty recently. Natsupoi and Saori Anou had a strap match on July 2nd, which is just as gay as it sounds but not in the way it sounds, I haven't watched it yet but I've heard good things. The 5 Star Grand Prix, Stardom's yearly big singles tournament, just began last weekend on the 23rd, and is a great way to get introduced to most of the wrestlers. I know the time commitment of a wrestling show can be daunting, I'm very familiar on a personal level with the way it eats time, but I think you can still get a lot from just watching a little if you can't get through everything. If you pick one person in each block and only follow their matches, you'll still get a little snippet of every other competitor to see if they hook you, y'know? Caveat if you do begin with that show though that the main event ended with a real injury, which obviously isn't fun to see happen.

If you decide you're enjoying it and want to try and start following along, my translation blog is here (it's not exhaustive and I'm behind with some stuff but I do what I can) and my asks and DMs are always open if you have questions about any stories or characters or anything.

#long post #sorry I am literally incapable of answering an ask with anything other than an essay

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scrollypoly · 2 years

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can u tell me about ur version of offenderman? i guess "Fen", im assuming thats short for offender XD

Oh my. Fen is still a work in progress, and something I'm still hesitant to talk about because of the controversy around his character, but I'll do my best ^ ^'

First tho, you should probably get the context from these posts I did earlier: this one and this one

(Will also say that a lot of my headcanons for him were made alongside @bowtied-pasta and I will gladly give my bestie a shoutout cuz her boy is also great)

As stated in those above posts, Fen isn't a full blooded Ender. His father was an Ender that lived in North America that has since passed. His mother was a Succubus, and as such, he has traits from both parents. He's technically just a demon with some Ender qualities: he has a pretty featureless face with only a mouth, and can shape shift to change his appearance. However, he only has the 4 limbs, no extra appendages for this dude. His father shunned him and his mom, so she raised him on her own, as best as she could. She ended up taking him to the Mortal World, where it was easier for her to provide for him with her qualities. They we're pretty well off until she passed unexpectedly, and he was left on his own. He wasn't a child by any means, but that didn't mean he was ready to be alone.

Every child goes through a lot of grief losing both of their parents. He was too scared to seek out his birth father, not knowing how to reach him and not expecting any pleasantness out of the meeting. He wouldn't have known that his Father had passed as well. He did know how to shape shift at least, and so tried to blend in as a human and got a job, used the money his mother had to get an apartment. The trouble came with learning how to exist in human culture. Although being raised in that society, his mother was still more involved with her demonic culture, and he still grew up entrenched in it. So there was a learning curve for sure. To most people, he was thankfully just seen as awkward or a bit odd, but because of this and how ostracized he felt around humans, he paid as little mind to them as he could, kept to himself, and isolated. This will cause some problems.

Demons and Enders mature at a different rate then humans too. And in my fanon they have heat cycles that will affect them. Can't remember if I made a full post talking about that, if I did I will reblog it with a link, but it's not the sexy kinda heat you're thinking off. They're literally just like periods but dialed up, hormones going crazy and instincts going haywire, pain, nausea, confusion, etc. Not pleasant, and even less pleasant alone. If you have a partner or mate, they are much easier to pass. Fen didn't even have his mom to help him his first time, and it hit at work. He was confused, in pain, scared, and not knowing what was going on with his body. He was also blindingly horny in a very public space and had not really experienced that kind of reaction or feeling before. He ended up leaving work very quickly, struggled to get home. Before he could get out of the door, one of his coworkers, a girl, had been concerned and asked if he was alright before he left. He ended up zoning out staring at her, demons have higher senses and he could smell her. He ended up grabbing her before he could realize what was happening, before panicking when she yelled at him, and he ran home and locked himself in for the rest of his cycle. He got fired for misconduct and isolated for a little bit. He didn't fully understand what had happened, and became angry at the girl, his boss, and even with what he was, and sometime shortly after he took off for a night to defuse. While out, he ran into someone who would become a very close friend of his, Splendor, also glamoured as a human. The two recognized each other as similar creatures and sat down to talk, and Fen talked and vented about what happened.

Splendor had to knock some sense into him about what happened and why, why it was wrong, etc, as he was older and had been more immersed into human society. And overtime, Splendor helps him learn about both sides of his parentage as well. Splendor is like an older brother figure to Fen (though if you were to look at the two of them, especially glamoured, you would think it the opposite. Fen is huge). Once Fen left his own bubble and learned some other experiences, he fully learned what happened in that situation and felt remorse. He tried to reach out to that girl to apologize, but rightfully so she didn't want anything to do with him. He felt horrible, and carried it with him for a while. Until one night, when he was out getting drinks, he saw another woman getting harassed by a guy, and he ended up going up to the pair and threatened the dude to back off. The girl took that moment to book it, and the guy was so pissed that he ended up starting a fight with Fen. Note: Don't fist fight a demon. Fen ended up getting kicked out of that bar, but he wasn't too mad about it. He felt he did right, in a way making it up to the girl he couldn't apologize to. And he kind of took it up as his mantle, learning how to be more sneaky with and calmer the more it came up.

So now, most of his time is spent poking into bars in the city he lives in and keeping an eye out for creeps and chasing them off. He doesn't kill, but he will beat them to a bloody pulp if he needs to. He's generally laid-back aside from that, and while his empathy had to be learned that doesn't diminish it. He's wary, but compassionate, and tries hard to be a protector to make up for his past actions. He's got a pretty commanding presence, broad and tall and imposing, but being descended from a succubus, he still has some charm. He uses it to try and keep conflicts from escalating further than they need to.

I very specifically wanted to keep some form of his origin in his character. But I also am a person that likes to believe that people can learn from their mistakes and grow from it, and I wanted to show that through his character. A lot of characters in my fic carry deep trauma, and some of them do carry bad sexual trauma that manifests in many different ways. My OC Aub, Ben, Jane, Kate, Tim, all of them have that kind of trauma, and it manifests differently for all of them. With that, I want to also show an instance from the opposite perspective, but I want it to be a way to improve and change for the better, without the expectation of forgiveness that can make a person feel entitled and sour it. I guess I'm just hopeful.

#offenderman #my posts #my writing #my headcanons #scb stuff #enderbeings #this is a pretty tl;dr version of it but yeah

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bnerdler · 1 year

Text

This week has been a really shitty week. This post is mostly just me venting. I'll be OK, im not looking for pity. I have a support system and coping strategies to sort myself out I just need to vent a little.

I moved on Thursday last week from my 1x1 apartment that was slowly draining me of money into my friends townhome which is going to half my living expenses. And that's great and all but my cat has extreme aggression and anxiety problems. He'd been getting medicated for it but he's got such a high drug tolerance that anything we give him we have to double the dosage for it to have the effect that the normal dose would have for a normal cat.

Needless to say, during the move on Thursday he broke out of the room I'd had him and my other cat in while I got my room set up. In the process of getting him back in the room and into the crate, he bit my hand and scratched up one of my roommates. We got him started on a short term sedation drug while we weighed the options over the weekend. He settled down enough to not be so scared he attacks me but just yowls for hours nonstop due to separation anxiety.

The vet thinks he might have a brain tumor which has caused the aggression. Even scared cats don't normally attack their owners. But I can't afford to get him brain scans to diagnose much less treatment if he does. Not to mention the off cha ce that it's not a tumor or that it is but treatment doesn't help. We've decided to drug the hell out of him. We upped the dosage of the anxiety meds he was already on, added in a secondary anxiety drug, and I'm slowly getting the rest of the stuff the vet suggested such as cbd oil, pheromone sprays, and the like. If it says "calming" on it im getting it. Its... only mildly helping so far but we've only been here a week and today is the last day of the sedation drug and we started the new anti-anxiety meds yesterday. I just really hope this works. I hope this is all worth it and gives me a cat that I love being around. That im not scared of. That I'm scared for.

Like on a scale of 1-10 how anxious are you, my cat is constantly living at a 10. He has no quality of living like that. He can't be around other people bc he will attack them. And he's just anxious and scared out of his mind all the time. So if this new action plan doesnt work... well I'll have to euthanize him. And I really really don't want to have to make that decision.

I got the news about all this on Monday and just sobbed for like 6 hours straight. And I still had to go to work.

It's been a shit week at work too. The boss man was having a gout flair up from stress so he's grumpy and in pain which has made him irritable and altogether unpleasant to be around. He's also been really paranoid bc of the stress. We have security cameras in the school which isn't a bad thing, we need to have them. But the fact that he watches the feed, purposely moved the camera over the front desk to monitor everything I do, calls me and asks me what I'm doing when I'm there alone. Like yesterday the spot where my cat bit me was feeling very sore, so I was icing it and he calls me and asks me what happened to my hand. And like it's not like I'm fucking around at work. I do my work I get my shit done. But it's the assumption that I am and that even when I'm alone, I'm still being watched and have to monitor myself. Like I was raised barely reformed jewish. I wasn't meant for this Christian guilt panopticon bullshit.

faked an emergency to go home early last night bc I just could not stand being around the boss man last night. I did not want to take class with him. I was already emotionally at my wits end and was not in the place to deal with him.

It's also the anniversary of my grandfather's passing. So just the reminder of oh yeah I buried my grandfather on this day 2 years ago sucks.

And then also there's the news about moonbin which is hitting me hard too. Like when jonghyun passed I didn't consider myself a shawol (I still dont). But there was a really long time where I couldn't listen to shinee's music. But with astro and moonbin? I've been an Aroha since day one. The day hide and seek came out, I listened to it nonstop. Their music helped me through some really dark times bc it was just impossible for me to be sad while listening to their music. And as shallow as it feels to say it, moonbin was my bias. He was also incredibly close in age to me. He was born only a week before I was so that just makes it hit different. I know that one day I will be able to listen to Astros music again and feel joy but I don't know how long that will take.

And this weekend is my boyfriend and my roommates birthday but I don't know how I'm supposed to go out clubbing with them when all I want to do is stare at a wall and not think. Like my social and emotional batteries are just drained. I really don't want to have to perform being a person. Just for 24 hours I need to turn off. Like you know when a computer is giving you problems? I feel like that like someone just needs to turn me off and then turn me back on after waiting 30 seconds.

It's just all this heavy things this week, all the grief and stress. Not to mention the kids I work with being absolutely off the rails too. They've been pushing every single button. And I just have no patience for it.

And on the one hand I want to channel all this emotion and grief into my writing, on the other hand I just want to not do anything. I'm like any minor inconvenience will set me off crying.

I'm also just living on the razors edge monetarily. I've got no savings, my credit card is maxed out, I've got bills to pay, and I don't get paid enough to cover it all. At the last apartment I was living paycheck to paycheck with barely enough to cover my most pressing bills: rent, utilities, food, gas. I had to put off buying new underwear for like 6 months bc I couldn't even afford the $10 for a pack of the cheap Walmart shit. I've also got some big bills happening right now. With the move I had to break my least which cost me. Getting into the new place I've got food costs bc I finished almost all of my staples before the move. I've got all this shit for my cat. I'm behind on my student loans. I'm behind on my membership for taekwondo. I'm going on a cruise in like 20 days and I need to have money for that. Afterwards is our tournament and I want to compete which costs money that i dont even know if I'll have. I'm just tired of living frugally not because I want to but because I have to.

I'm just tired.

So that's where I'm at lmao.

#ive got so much chores to do too #theres laundry to put away #and dishes to be done #cat litter to be cleaned #i think I'll come home early from work tonight again #i just need some time to reorganize myself #1 day to do nothing #and 1 day to put everything back together #but i #have to work today and tomorrow too #long post

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wonwoonlight · 1 year

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long message incoming im so sorry 😭😭

haylooooo, miss khione!! hope you're doing great rnn <3<3 it's been a while since our last interaction haha ! i hope you're taking care of yourself? saw your latest post in the garden and wow let me tell you 😭 it looks like it came from a literal movie like wow !!! it's really pretty 😭 also you look stunning <3 hope you enjoyed your little trip there!

so i don't know if you're aware (i'm pretty sure you've heard it somewhere tho...although i don't really know 😅😅) buuut regarding seventeen's be the sun tour, they're having two additional shows! one is in Jakarta and the other in Bulacan (in the philippines). the ticket selling for this was on oct 28 (was the carat membership presale) and oct 29 (the general sale). originally, i wasn't planning on going to the bulacan show since 1) I didn't want to go through the stress i went through the first ticket selling. 2) the accessibility of the venue and additional expenses just to go there. 3) concert quality of the venue. but.....haha guess what 💔 i bought a carat membership and joined the presale 😭😭😭 and like things get sort of worse here. so october 28, 7am, i woke up then did my usual morning stuff (wow okay why did i share that 😭 😭) by the time i finished it was alr a little past 8am (sloth era) told the cafe babies i'd be late to work (ik it wasn't nice for me to do that since work is more important that seventeen but,,,,,,yeah i didn't think about that before 😭😭) ANYWAYS that happened. so yeah i prepared myself mentally and physically, made a shrine as well as a manifestation table) lowk looked like i was sacrificing my laptop to who knows where). since the waiting room started at 9am (yeah well i thougnt it starts at 9am like last time) still had a little more time to do that arrangement. so 9am comes and i was alr in the livenation website looking for the link. guess what,,,it wasn't there 😭😭 i realized that there would be no waiting room and we go straight to the website at 10am 😭😭😭 so i patiently (no i didn't i was highk stressing, well i mean at least my 😭 boyfriend 😭 was there to calm me down [he was giving pacemaker dino tbh] anyways 10am we were given the link. "we are sorry but our website is currently experiencing heavy traffic right now. you will be let in once a slot become available" screamed at this and opened twitter to see if i was the only one 😭😭 there were so many carats experiencing the same thing aurmg 😭😭 so i waited to be let in but it was taking so long, NOT UNTIL MY SAVIOR ARRIVED 😭 someone sent a direct link to the queuing and i got to the queue 😭 i was at 18k on my laptop and then 16k on my phone had to wait for only like 30 mins until i was in the website on my phone so i went in the website, was shaking, trying to go for my desired seats (no vip sc too tiring 😭😭) so i got them (planned to go with my mom, im so sorry mom but once you go in that venue i believe you wouldn't get to escape caratland) was about to complete my transaction then suddenly my payment failed 😭😭 SO I HAD TO CALL THE MALL'S CUSTOMER SERVICE 😭😭 luckily they answered, then they were amazing enough to reset my carat membership code. i had to also call the bank but they weren't answering so i had to use another type of payment and then my desired seats were taken so spent about 5 mins looking for a good seat </3 and 😭😭 and then i got the tickets 😭😭 until now it hasn't sank in for some reason 😭😭 but 😭 im seeing seventeen on december 17 😭😭😭😭 this was so anticlimactic </3 so i got the tickets like only in 2hrs which was amazing 💖💖 most seats are now taken in the arena but we're still hoping for a sold out show bc imagine the articles that are like "kpop group seventeen sold out a 55k capacity arena!" that was an ew headline but 🤩🤩 it's the story that counts HEJDJXJD so yeah rn it isn't sinking in yet but like i hope it does before the concert so i can actually prepare myself mentally <3

so that's it 🤩🤩 im so sorry for this long message 😭 i had sm to share 😭😭 hbu? do you have any stories to share <3 (if youre comfy ofc !!) stay safe ms khione!

Shey hi 😭😭😭 i knoooow! I havent been online anywhere due to irl duties 😭😭 glad you've been fine and, as always, I truly enjoyed your story 🤣 don't feel sorry abt sending long ask!!

I'm glad that you got the ticket on top of all those stress!! Please do have fun with your mom at the concert🤍 is there a reason why she's coming with you tho???

And me... welll.. if we're talking about me during the time i type this... I'm not in my best state but I'm here to find escape so, thank you for giving me comfort through your story!

#take care shey!!#shey🧁#khione.ask #aaand queue

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tenshies · 3 years

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#gintama #wallpaper #kagura #sakata gintoki #shimura tae #yagyuu kyuubei #otose #catherine #tsukuyo #sarutobi ayame #shimura shinpachi #tama #the quality isn't great in these but im still posting them;;

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danidoesathing · 2 years

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🔥 Makoto

Oh boy. alright kiddos im not gonna be nice with this. This might be partially a rant but I dont care.

Makoto is an extremely poorly written character. Every aspect of her character has such great potential but ultimately it's undermined by terrible writing. She's meant to be a pushover good girl type that eventually snaps and starts to stand up for herself and realize the flaws of the system. But every interaction with her just....doesn't come across.

Like her introduction just makes her come across as judgmental, mean, and thoughtless. I get her not getting along with the PT at first, but her jabs at the PT are so personal (like when she tries to imply Ann's at fault for Shiho's suicide attempt. what the fuck). She doesn't bother to think about any nuance to any situation when it comes to any of the characters. They keep trying to make her come across as smart but her actions just....don't reflect that. Finding her way into the palace was smart, but thats the only example I can really think of. She comes off as plain ignorant (I won't even touch on the post interrogation room scene as I have so. so many things to say about that but her taking partial credit for the plan working angers me to no end). Her trauma with Sae, her father, and the principal is interesting but it's not enough for me to go "oh, she's just misunderstood" because there's not enough good will built up for me to just forgive all her actions.

And she doesn't grow. All the characters have flaws right? but they work past them and they have good qualities. Yusuke, for example, stayed silent while himself and others were being abused. But ultimately, he comes to realize Madarame isn't the great hero he thought he was and learns to stand for himself and others. He grows (his confidant has it's own issues, but thats a topic for another day), but Makoto doesn't learn or change like the other characters. She becomes more assertive, sure, but she doesn't really earn that multilayered development like other's do (and it honestly comes off as bossy). She still doesn't fully understand the flaws in the system, she still has full confidence that she's right all the time, she still doesn't see what the different nuances to each situation and only sees her perspective, and it's just....frustrating.

The worst example of this? In her confidant, she says she wants to be a cop like her father to Akira. She wants to change the system from the inside, and she choses to be....a cop. She knows how corrupt they are, and she really thinks that becoming one could just fix everything. That's not how it works. It's stupidly hopeful and straight up willingly naive. She could have chosen to become a judge, trying to fight against the 99% guilty verdict in Japan. A defense lawyer. A political activist. ANYTHING other than join the system of corruption they are fighting against. And she says this to Akira. Akira, her friend who has extensive trauma around cops and his arrest. Her friend with canon PTSD around his arrest and shows a general fear of cops. That's just....willingly ignorant to his trauma.

And you want to know the worst part? She could have been fucking amazing. Those glimpses of what could have been. Her awakening? fantastic. Her showtimes? amazing. Her dynamics with Ryuji and Haru? Awesome. There's so much potential to create a characters who's lived on a more privileged standard that has benefited from the system and who's family actively contributed to it (complicated feelings towards your loved ones could have been awesome) learning and going against the flaws in it despite what's its given her. Her bonding with the "delinquents" of the school and seeing that these people she's always turned her nose towards are actually good people, and growing because of it could have been....really, really good. But that's not what happened, and it sucks. I don't usually blame the characters for this stuff, because it's 99% due to bad writing. Maybe I still wouldn't have liked her if she was written well, but at least it would be me not liking a character, not "this character is fundamentally flawed and it pisses me off".

#sorry for the rant but she drives me insane #like I WANT to like her but every time she does something it just makes me mad #dani speaks #its just a shame how bad her character was written #ask #asks

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