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#the raccoon and bird are my favorite
lunaicfantastic · 9 months
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anyone know how to tell if someone has like put a curse on you or something
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navstuffs · 4 months
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"Private" Security
Pairing: Rookie!Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader
Summary: Your rookie cop boyfriend, Leon, protects you during your morning jog. Based on the tiktok by @johnny_tsunami_88.
Warnings tags: protective!leon, fluff, though the image says female jogger, this is a fic for gn!reader!!!, reader might be jogging/running/walking
Author's notes: heeey!! finally i have decided to write! i am a HUGE sucker for protective fics and when i saw this tiktok i HAD TO WRITE.
my leon's masterlist
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"Leaving the house. Love you."
Your text message arrives around 15 minutes before the end of Leon's shift. It had been a relatively peaceful night in Raccoon City, except for a fight in the busy bar on Main Street at 3 am. Again, Leon had to separate two males who got involved in a fight because of a woman. " Every Saturday, he thought as he sent both men their way before asking for backup. At least they were inoffensive enough to get in their ride-share app cars without complaining.
Leon welcomes your text message with a smile. You tell him you want to restart your fitness journey at 5 am. Why? Because if you don't do it at 5 am, you will never compromise for the rest of the day, so it is a way to encourage yourself.
Of course, Leon was there at 5 am every morning to accompany you. There was no way in hell Leon would let you run alone. The streets could be dangerous, and Leon was always cautious about your safety, especially given the dangers of Raccoon City.
But today, the first day of his new schedule, Leon couldn't relax. He asked you to text him when you left the house, let him know if anything bothered you, and carry pepper spray, though you hated the idea of "arming" yourself. Leon couldn't fathom something happening to you.
With a sudden decision in mind, Leon turns on his patrol car with his lights on, but no sound. He has an appointment he can't miss.
-x-
Breathe, you tell yourself. Breathe deeply. Concentrate.
With your favorite playlist playing in your ears, you put one foot after the other, focused on exercising. It is your first day without Leon at your side as your loyal partner, and you thought you would feel bad, but sometimes being alone is the most peaceful thing that could happen.
You texted him as he asked you to put one earbud in (Leon begged you not to put both and to always be aware of your surroundings) and started jogging- slowly, at your own pace, with no stress. The sun wasn't out yet, and the birds weren't singing yet. Most lights are off in the houses in your neighborhood. 
This new fitness journey has always been about your mental health, a way to make you feel better about yourself. The fresh air, the feeling of having your body moving. It sucked that you had to be aware of your surroundings, but what can we do right?
Within ten minutes of your run, you notice the familiar lights of a police car appear behind you. You are surprised, turning your head quickly behind you and seeing the familiar car following you at a slow speed, escorting you as you exercise.
As you get close to the park near your house, far away from most houses, you hear your boyfriend's voice through the speakers.
"You are doing fantastic! I know you can do it, honey!"
You giggle, then continue and focus on your usual jog- almost a walk, but you don't mind. What matters is that you are feeling good about yourself. After you had enough, you walk toward the police car, breathing heavily, and Leon has his window open, a massive smile on his face.
"Hey, pretty." He looks so handsome, with the rising sunbeams illuminating his face.
"Hello, officer. Am I in any trouble?" You tease back, lying against his open window. Leon offers you a water bottle, which you gladly accept and drink. "Shouldn't you be off work already?"
"Yeah. Need to keep civilians safe, though. Especially adorable ones like you."
"I would be fine. My boyfriend told me to bring this." You raise the pepper spray in your hand, and Leon nods, happy.
"I am glad you are following your boyfriend's direction." Leon then stops and becomes more serious. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."
"You didn't, sweetie. Are you telling me you will always escort me during my morning jogs?" 
"I will always keep you safe. Your safety is my number one priority, always." Leon replies, his tone very serious. You nod, saluting his seriouness. "Do you need a ride back home?"
"No, I will be fine on the way home. I promise." 
Since no one was around, you decided to return to the house after giving Leon a quick goodbye kiss. Looking over your shoulder, you saw the police cruiser still parked in the same spot, probably with the driver still keeping his eyes on you.
Leon watches as you quickly turn around to blow another kiss before disappearing. His face is red, and his heart feels fuzzy. He shakes his head, thinking it's better to bring the car back to the police station.
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neonghostlights · 5 months
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Blurb idea maybe? Unhinged grocery shopping with our favorite raccoon daddy Eddie.
I love this because I was literally just at the grocery store when I was thinking about writing something tonight! I decided to go with a grocery store meet cute.
You turned the corner to the canned food aisle.
The cart you grabbed had a bad wheel that kept getting stuck and you were continuously having to lift the side of the basket every time you wanted to make a turn.
It was very irritating.
You were at the end of your patience for the day. It had been a long day at work and you had a headache brewing from staring at a computer screen and getting yelled at by clients left and right.
When it was time to go you practically skipped out to your car, only to remember that you had to stop by the grocery store to get a few things if you wanted to eat for the rest of the week.
You decided to stop by the closest grocery store to home instead of you usual, thinking that it would be quicker.
You thought everything would be fine until you pulled into the parking lot an old lady stole the parking spot you were going for and flipped you off in the process.
You were just so ready to go home.
A pop song played through the store, and you mindlessly hummed along under your breath, knowing that it would be stuck in your head for the rest of the night.
You were reading the cans of coffee that were placed slightly above your head, still strolling down the aisle when you felt the cart slam into something hard.
"Ow," you heard a man's voice groan and you panicked, pulling the cart off of him and running around to the front.
He was crouched on his knees, a box of various coffee cans at his side that he was obviously stocking on the lower shelves.
“I am so sorry!” You gasped. You were already imagining the lawsuit that was about to be slapped on you for carelessly running someone over with a cart while they were just trying to do their job. 
He was rubbing his arm when you reached him with a pained expression on his face. 
“Are you okay?” You asked, reaching out to touch his shoulder but thinking better of it. 
He looked up at you, some loose pieces of his brown hair falling out of his bun and landing in his face. He moved some pieces away, revealing large brown eyes that made your heart flutter. Your hand was still hovering between the two of you for a moment before you let it fall limply at your side. 
A moment passed and you were waiting for him to say he was okay, or to hopefully even make a joke about the situation but instead a loud groan escaped his mouth and he grabbed onto his arm dramatically. 
“I think it’s broken,” he wailed, his upper body falling back into the cart that you held still with one hand. 
You glanced around, the same old lady that flipped you the bird when you got there was at the end of the aisle staring at the scene with a frown. 
“Do you need help? I’m not really sure-”
“I’m just kidding,” he laughed, pushing himself up off the floor and brushing off the sleeves of his green uniform shirt. “Definitely not the first time I’ve been run over while doing my job and it won’t be the last.” He was smiling, breathless from his theatrics a moment before and cheeks tinged pink. 
You read his nametag. Eddie was printed proudly onto the shiny silver badge that was on his chest. 
“Well, Eddie,” you started before letting out a breathless laugh, heart still pounding a mile a minute from the fear of his reaction and from how pretty he was, “does this mean you aren’t going to sue me for hitting you with a shopping cart?” 
He put a finger on his chin, looking off to the side like he was thinking about it. 
“Hmm..” he hummed before reading your name out loud off of the name tag you still wore from work, “I don’t think I’ll sue you if you go out to dinner with me?” 
You were just about to answer when a stern faced manager popped around the corner, yelling at Eddie to get back to work. 
And of course, since you didn’t want to get sued you quickly wrote your number down on an old receipt and shoved it in his hand before grabbing the coffee you were looking for and checking out with a date planned.
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thechaoticdruid · 1 month
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[Eat Your Heart!]
(This Bites: Valentines Day special)
Pairing: Astarion x F! Chubby MC
Plot: Winnie hates Valentines Day, having never been able to celebrate it with a lover before, but now that she has Astarion perhaps it'll change?
C/W: Suggestive themes, Sexual humor, random bigoted asshole encounter, fluffy goodness.
This Bites Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four,
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Winnie turned on the television and internally groaned as she noticed a commercial come on. It was one advertising chocolates for her least favorite holiday. Valentine’s Day. Or as Winnie liked to call it Singles Awareness Day.
“God, I hate couples.” Winnie huffed a bit, glaring at the man and woman on the screen, sharing chocolates. How dare they shove their happiness in her face! 
“Meow!” Maddie hopped up onto the bed and took her place on Winnie’s lap, gently headbutting her ribs. 
“You get me, don't you baby?” Winnie asked as she looked down at the raven-haired feline, running a hand over her little head.
“Murp!” The cat made a strange little noise in response before leaning her head into Winnie’s hand and purring.  Winnie smiled softly and rubbed the cat's head before looking over at her phone. Mom and Brian were out of town, apparently going on a romantic trip for Valentine's Day which was tomorrow. 
Stupid candy heart holiday!
Winnie looked over posts online to see what everyone was doing. Her old friends from highschool were all happy and celebrating with their spouses the selfish pricks. How dare they be happy goddamnit! Winnie huffed before noticing Becca from work had posted an update about how she was going out with some girl she met at a con tomorrow and how excited she was about it.
No Becca! Not you too!
Winnie groaned and fell back on her bed. Maddie tilted her head curiously before hopping up on Winnie’s chest and sniffing at her face. 
“Ughhh…. I need some ice cream.” The brunette-haired female picked the cat up before setting her on the side of the bed and getting up.  Winnie walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer, getting a small container of chocolate ice cream out before closing the door to the fridge. She grabbed a spoon before heading back to the bedroom. 
Winnie sat back down on her bed, trying to turn the television on something more interesting to watch as the window to her bedroom suddenly opened. Winnie nearly dropped her spoon as the silver haired vampire elf crawled inside her home. 
“J-Jesus!” Winnie cursed, “for fucks sake Astarion! No one is home but me. You can use a door!” 
“I suppose I've developed a habit of coming in this way.” He said with a little giggle at the end. Astarion had something in his hand as he shut the window behind him. A little bit of blood ran down the corner of his mouth. He'd just been out hunting and was able to drain a plethora of raccoons, possums and even a large deer to boot.   Maddie’s tail shot up and curled into a hook shape as she padded over towards Astarion, immediately rubbing against his legs with a pur. 
“Oh, hello darling,” Astarion smiled and reached down to pet the cat. “I brought you something.”
Winnie’s eyes widened in complete horror as she noticed there was a bird in his hand. A small lifeless looking bird.  He held it out to Maddie who immediately sniffed it before prodding it with her paw.  
“Astarion! You can't just bring dead animals to my cat!” Winnie freaked out, setting her snack to the side before grabbing some tissues from her table. She scooped the bird up into them.
“It's not-” Astarion tried to cut in, but Winnie opened the window, and the bird suddenly sprang to life, pecking her hand before flying out the window.  
“Fuck!” Winnie cursed.
“Oh, now look at what you've done. You've ruined my gift to our precious little pet.” 
“She's MY pet and I don't want her killing birds in the house!” Winnie hissed before rubbing her hand where she'd been pecked. 
God, I hope that thing didn't have a disease….
Winnie sighed and closed the window before getting back onto her bed and sitting. Astarion pouted before sitting on the bed next to her.
“You're awfully snappy this evening.” 
Winnie sighed, “sorry. It's this damn holiday. It always rubs me the wrong way.”  Winnie said, grabbing her ice cream and spooning some into her mouth. 
“What holiday, love?” He asked, sprawling out over the bed and laying his head on her thigh. 
“Oh right, you don't know. It's Valentine's Day. Uh…It's a holiday celebrating romance and candy people really like to sell candy on it.” Winnie said, “people usually give their lovers gifts like chocolate and flowers on it.” 
“Oh, that sounds positively dreadful!” Astarion said sarcastically.
“It is if you've been single all your life and people are rubbing their happiness in your face!” Winnie exclaimed. “I hate it.” 
“Darling, you have me now, remember? And I would be happy to join in on any romantic festivities…as long as it's with you.” Astarion smiled softly, looking up at Winnie with soft round puppy-like eyes. Winnie blushed and bit and cleared her throat.
“I-I guess I didn't think about that…I've just been single for as long as I can remember." Winnie set her ice cream to the side table.  
“Of course I haven't been able to enjoy chocolate for the past two centuries, but I'm sure you'll think of something else for us to enjoy.” Astarion smiled and laid across Winnie’s lap. Since the brunette-haired woman had begun dating courting him the two of them got a bit more comfortable with one another.  Snuggles and hugs were pretty casual now, but they still tended to catch Winnie off guard. She enjoyed them, but it still felt so weird for a man to be so affectionate with her. 
Winnie’s brother was raised the old fashion way, taught to be tough and stoic and that hugging was for sissies so needless to say he wasn't very cuddly. Her biological father wasn't the type of person you wanted touching you.  And Brian pfft…As if she'd ever hug Brian! The fucking prick.
So really, she'd only known affection from other women. And it was all platonic. This just felt so weird. It was nice, but weird. 
“Well, Valentine's Day isn't until tomorrow, but we can go out tomorrow night and do something then?” Winnie suggested.
“Sounds lovely.” Astarion hummed.
“Still, it's too bad you can't actually taste normal food. I would have gotten you a bunch of candy hearts.” Winnie smiled, leaning back a little as she experimentally ran her fingers through his soft white locks. 
“The only heart I'd find myself wanting to eat would be yours I'm afraid.” Astarion joked with a mischievous chuckle, leaning up and laying his head on Winnie’s large pillowy chest as he snuggled against her. 
“The way it speeds up just for me is so…. mouthwatering.” He purred, nuzzling against Winnie. 
“I kinda need my heart you know…” Winnie huffed with a pout.
“Just teasing, my dear.” Astarion hummed, eyes closed as he listened to the comforting sound of her heartbeat, his arms wrapped around her plush waist as he cuddled on top of her. She honestly felt so soft and cushy to the vampire.  Winnie blushed a bit, leaning back with a yawn as she ran her fingers through the vampire’s curls. 
“You just gonna sleep on me tonight?” 
“Perhaps…” 
Winnie giggled slightly, “Okay…” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day Winnie went to work as normal, leaving an Astarion alone at the house with the instructions to NOT get into any trouble. Which for most of the part he didn't. He mostly laid around, played with Maddie, hate-watched some gods awful vampire TV series, placed one of the dog’s ‘surprises’ into Brian's shoes and took a long relaxing bubble bath while using one of Winnie’s mother's facemasks. 
Winnie on the other hand spent the day stocking shelves and cleaning floors at the CornerStore. 
She had to deal with some middle aged lady who repeatedly kept asking where they kept their grills despite the fact that Winnie tried to calmly explain that they did not sell grills at the store and that she should try the Superstore across town.
It was honestly one huge stressful mess and eventually Becca had to come over and ask the woman to leave when she noticed the lady raising her voice at Winnie.
After the workday ended Winnie headed back home on her motorcycle. She had to keep her mind from wandering off to tonight's events, but it was hard! Winnie was filled with both anxiety and excitement at the prospect of being able to spend this Valentine's Day with a romantic companion.
Eventually she made it back and parked in the empty driveway of her home. The neighborhood was mostly quiet aside from the distant sounds of dogs barking and children shouting from their yards. The sun was slowly setting and soon Astarion would be able to leave the house with her. She entered her home, stretching out her arms before walking towards her room.
“Astarion, I'm home.” She called.
“Welcome back, my love.” The vampire greeted, a book in hand as he laid on her bed, wearing a black tank and grey shorts.  Winnie blinked as she noticed the book in his hands, his fingers obscured the cover, but she had a bad feeling she knew what book that was. 
“Uh…What are you reading?” Winnie asked. 
“I never pegged you to be into such scandalous literature. It appears my sweet innocent little Winnie isn't so innocent after all.” Astarion purred. Winnie quickly went over and tried to grab the book from him, her face burning bright red with embarrassment. 
“Give that here!” She shouted, but Astarion immediately got off the bed and held the book up high and out of reach. Winnie was able to see it had been a graphic novel, an erotic BL manga that she'd gotten as a gift back in her senior year of high school from one of the nerdy girls she used to be friends with.  She had only read it once…. Okay maybe twice, but that was it!
“Tut tut, you didn't ask nicely. Naughty girl. ~” 
Winnie growled in frustration.
“Give it back Astarion!” She hissed before trying to grab hold of his arm and pull it down so she could grab the book. However, she had absolutely no luck.
Do…. I suddenly have noodle arms or is he suddenly much stronger!? 
Astarion was snickering, a wide shit eating grin on his face as he kept the book out of his darling’s reach. Eventually however the two of them tumbled back onto the bed in the scuffle, Winnie grunted as she fell on top of him.  Winnie grunted and Astarion then tossed the book to the side before rolling over on top.
“Hey!” Winnie whined, “get off!” 
“Ask a bit nicer and I may consider it, sweetheart.” 
Winnie glared at him, cheeks flushing with both embarrassment and a little bit of something else as he pinned her to the bed.
“Fine…. Please…Let me up…” Winnie muttered. 
“Good girl. ~” The elf said cheekily, planting a quick peck on the female’s face. Astarion rolled over and got off of Winnie, allowing her up.
“You know, I'm only teasing about the book. I really don't care about what little fantasies get you going, darling.” He giggled before tossing the novel back at her.  
“You don't need to be an ass about it.” Winnie muttered before taking the manga and putting it away (this time somewhere different).
“If it would make you feel better, I might be willing to indulge your fantasies one day. Once you're ready of course!” 
“I…. How would you…? NEVERMIND! The sun will be down soon! And I need to get ready….We need to get ready!” Winnie stated, her face looking all pink. 
“As you wish my sweet.” Astarion smiled before glancing over to the clothes he'd had been given. 
He decided to change into some pants while Winnie went into the bathroom with a bundle of her own clothing.  Astarion dressed before looking at the black hoodie Winnie normally had him wear. The white-haired vampire rolled his eyes at it before noticing Winnie’s own jacket hung up in the closet. It was a dark purple hoodie which radiated with her scent. Astarion grabbed hold of it before sliding it on. It didn't fit quite right. It was a bit loose around the chest and waist while almost being too short for him to wear, but he couldn't help but find comfort in the smell. Lavender and cherry blossoms. It made him feel at ease. 
Winnie came out of the bathroom a few minutes later dressed in a red blouse-like shirt with a heart shaped hole over the chest and black tights which hugged smugly around her thick thighs. She was running a brush through her hair as she looked over at him. “You know my hoodie doesn't fit you right?” 
“Gods forbid you let me wear anything with a little bit of color!” Astarion pouted. 
“I'm not saying you can't borrow it…It's just. I’ll buy you your own if you want one.” Winnie offered.
“No!” Astarion said quickly, “I-mean don't bother, you probably won't be able to find another one this comfortable!” The pale elf insisted. 
Winnie sighed, “Whatever. Let's just go…Oh wait…” Winnie looked around in her dresser before taking out a black beanie. She got on her tippy toes before placing it over his head and covering his elf ears. 
“You’re messing up my hair…Winnie…” Astarion complained and glared down at the short female.
“I always fix it for you, don't I?” Winnie shrugged before grasping Astarion's hair. “Come on! The sun's gone down!”  The two left, hopping onto Winnie's motorcycle and driving off. 
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Tall brightly lit lamp posts surrounded the archery range as the love birds paid their way in and rented a pair of bows before walking up to the ring. Winnie scrunched her nose as they passed another couple who absolutely reeked of booze. She'd noticed them arrive in some huge camo SUV with deer antlers mounted to the hood and an obnoxiously loud radio playing.
The archery targets were set up past the fence, all set up in a horizontal line and each one was moved further back than the one that came before. Winnie struggled to hold her bow correctly, grunting in frustration as the arrow would slide out of place.
“My sweet, let me help you.” Astarion said, carefully adjusting Winnie’s hands.  She took a deep breath before pulling the around back and shooting it. It fell right onto the ground almost immediately after being shot. 
“Ah! I suck at this!” Winnie huffed. 
“Well, you're still much better at it than Gale.” Astarion smiled a bit. 
“...Thanks….” Winnie said, not sure if being better than Gale was really that great a compliment.
“Try again, love.” Astarion said before moving to help Winnie. He stood close behind her, chest against her back as he positioned her hands, this time guiding them to pull back the bowstring. He had her pull it back as far as it would go before releasing it. The arrow shot across the range and hit the side of one of the targets.
“Whoa!” Winnie smiled, “I actually hit it!” Astarion adjusted her hands once again and helped her notch another arrow, this time hitting closer to the center of the target. 
“Okay! Okay! I'm going to try by myself this time!” She cheered. The elf watched her fondly. He found her giddiness positively adorable.
She pulled back the arrow before letting it go and it went about five feet before falling to the ground.
“Oh goddamnit!” Winnie swore, attracting the attention of onlookers. 
“You did better this time, darling. But perhaps you should take a break, hm?” Astarion suggested and patted her shoulder. 
“Yeah .... I guess so .... How about you shoot some?” Winnie asked. 
“I suppose I could.” Astarion hummed before planting a kiss on Winnie’s cheek. “But don't get upset when I upstage you.”
“No, by all means! Don't be afraid to show off!” Winnie smiled at him. Astarion smirked before taking the bow and notching an arrow. He pulled it all the way before letting it go and immediately hitting a bullseye on his first try.
A make-up-caked woman with short red hair and ruby red lipstick looked over from where she stood next to a tall beefy man in a leather vest, her eyes wide with amazement.  
Winnie clapped, a grin forming on her lips.
“Keep going Star! That was awesome!” She cheered.
Astarion shot another arrow at the next target immediately hitting another bullseye. Most of the targets he'd been used to usually moved so this was honestly way too easy.  Winnie followed Astarion as he hit the targets one after another each with a flawless technique.  
And he even shot one backwards.
Okay I said you could show off, but this is a little much….
“Astarion-” Winnie began before suddenly the red headed lady marched over and pushed her out of the way. 
“That was amazing! Where did you learn how to do that?” She asked, eyes leering over Astarion now that the woman was able to get a better look at him.  
“It’s all instinct really.” The elf replied with a smug, confident look. He appeared to be eating up the praise.
“It's very impressive. You must be very strong.~” She purred, moving to stand closer before placing a hand on his arm, feeling it up. Astarion grimaced and looked at the woman with a flash of disgust.  Winnie glared over at the woman with annoyance. 
Seriously? This is the second time some floozy thinks it's okay to invade Star’s personal space! 
“Look lady, he doesn't like people being all touch-” Winnie was about to try to run the woman off before suddenly the man she'd previously been with stomped over towards the three.
“HEY! Get the hell away from MY wife!” He snapped. 
“Apologies, it seems your lady has had a little too much to drink.” Astarion said, removing the woman's hand from his shoulder as if she was carrying some kind of disease. 
“Are you saying she's not good enough for you!? What are you gay!?” The man pushed through, he reeked of alcohol just as much as his wife did it seemed. Winnie furrowed her brows at the man's ridiculousness. He clearly just wanted any reason to fight. Astarion seemed a bit confused at his question.
“Not at the moment. Nothing really to be cheerful about currently.” 
“You being smart with me, pretty boy?!” The man shouted. Astarion was trying to remain civil for Winnie’s sake but the bastard was really trying his patience. Astarion wasn't permitted to have a knife, Winnie made sure of it but the vampire spawn claws he'd grown while here definitely weren't for looks. Wouldn't be too hard to poke a hole in this cunt’s windpipe if he was quick. 
“No. Not at all.” Astarion replied, “I was simply answering your question.” Astarion had a fake smile on his face, but Winnie could see the irritation in his eyes. If this didn't resolve itself quickly someone was going to get hurt.
“You think you're real funny don't you, you fucking faggot!?” The man snarled. 
“You know I've been called a lot of things, but that…I've never heard of. Probably not a very intelligent insult by any means.” Astarion chuckled a bit, his smile turning more sinister. Fingers clenched as his claws prepared to strike. The bigoted drunkard seemed about ready to blow his top and start throwing punches.  The floozy wife just seemed to be giggling and enjoying the chaos, not even caring if someone got hurt.  Winnie had to act fast before this turned to bloodshed. Before anyone could say another word she grabbed her bow and an arrow before desperately aiming towards the parking lot. She pulled it as far as it would go, almost instinctively remembering how Astarion showed her earlier. 
The arrow flew across the range and hit the drunk couple’s SUV right in the headlights, almost immediately sounding the car alarm. 
“What?” The bigoted man tore his head away from Astarion before suddenly his wife shouted.
“Fuck! That's our car!” She took off running. 
“Goddamn it! Who's breaking into my baby!” The man yelled before running off. 
“Well, that was rather convenient.” Astarion said before Winnie grabbed his arm. 
“This was fun, but it's time to go!” Winnie said before dragging him off and abandoning the bows they'd rented at the range. It took a moment for Astarion to realize that Winnie had been the one to cause a distraction.
“This was your doing? You sneaky little devil! I'm so proud, my love!” 
“Yeah yeah whatever now let's get out of here before we get arrested!” Winnie pressed, dragging the giggling elf with her back to her motorcycle. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I hate that some assholes had to ruin our Valentine's Day. God, I swear nothing good ever comes from this holiday.” Winnie huffed as she sat down on a blanket.  Her and Astarion had made a little picnic on a hill out in the woods not too far from Winnie’s home. Winnie had gotten the idea of trying to head somewhere more private when she'd stopped at a rest stop on their way after the fiasco at the archery range. 
“I wouldn't say that. You and I still get to spend plenty of alone time together.” Astarion said and scooted closer towards her.  Winnie looked up at the sky. 
“I suppose you're right about that. Brian and mom won't be back for a couple of days…” Winnie scooted a bit closer towards Astarion and leaned against him. 
“I…Uh…I have something for you…. Winnie…” Astarion looked off to the side before taking something out of his pocket. 
It was a small box of heart shaped chocolates. 
“I'd still much rather sink my teeth into a different heart, but I'd imagine you'd prefer this.” 
“Astarion…This is so sweet….Thank you….” Winnie took the box and nibbles on one of the chocolates, a smile stretched across her face from ear to ear. Astarion simply snuggled against her, planting a kiss on her forehead.
“When did you even buy ... .? Wait a moment…You stole these didn't you?” 
“Ah….I may have done that….Yes…ah ha ha…” 
Winnie let out a long sigh.
“What am I going to do with you?” She rolled her eyes before wrapping her arms around his neck and leaned in, nuzzling her nose against his. Astarion smiled and nuzzled back, the two pressing their foreheads together.
“Just hold me…” He whispered.
The two love birds were completely unaware as a figure watched them from far away. The figure was slender and corpse-like. 
“Thou doth not know what thy actions will bring. It is only a matter of time.” The figure's echo of a voice rang out. 
End.
Taglist: @astarioffsimpmain, @iamsexytrash, @tiedyedghoulette, @hp-art-studio , @gaymistakeboi , @the-disaster-in-waiting, @misscrissfemmefatale, @divineknightmare, @marcynomercy, @gianchan-de, @tinyfreakgirl, @jaksfanficsaver, @im-just-a-simp-le-whore, @dajeong
IDK, but Tumblr would not let me tag some of y'all, but I will notify you when the next parts come out!
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paragonrobits · 1 month
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in terms of calvin and hobbes' characterization, there's a LOT to unpack and to explore; how Calvin's musings have an entertaining friction with Hobbes' much more down to earth mentality, the way their respective characters conflict and yet vibe so well together as contrasts and foils, Hobbes getting out of the way as Calvin literally runs into his own philosphical consequences, but while Hobbes is my favorite of the two, I think the most revealing and my personal favorite Calvin moment is the Dead Bird Strip:
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Calvin is generally characterized as a mischevious young boy; a kid of his age during the time this was written would USUALLY be written as being sort of casually cruel in an innocent way. not meaning to be cruel, but not yet really getting the impact of his own actions. We might expect him to go 'ew, gross! that's COOL!' or poke at it
but no. his immediate reaction to seeing a dead animal is to mourn it.
His first thought afterwards is to realize how beautiful it is, how delicate... and how tragic the inevitability of death is.
that we kind of CAN'T think about the inevitable. How fragile everything is, that the world itself is cruel and unforgiving, and there's not really anything you can do about it. The mind can't deal with it.
So people become cruel, or at least thoughtless.
It leaves off on Calvin musing that it will make sense when they grow up, which I feel is something that's meant to punch adult readers in the face. More so, if you're like me and were a young child reading this.
It didn't make sense then. It probably doesn't now. It's just something you must live with.
And the strip ends as they silently look up and observe the flight of unfallen birds.
There's a strong melancholy element to Calvin And Hobbes' more somber moments; a wistful awareness of the fragility of life. It's there in moments like them unable to do anything about suburban homes destroying the woods near their home, or Calvin struggling to come to terms with the sudden and unavoidable death of a baby raccoon he tried to help.
It's one reason the strip has survived so long in the hearts and minds of people. nearly 20 years after the final strip was published, it still feels so earnest, real and genuine. It's moments like this; there's no relief gag, no hidden humor, nothing to defuse the tension of this sort of moment. They just have to live with what they can't ignore.
And I think, from a characterization angle, the fact that Calvin's immediate response to finding a dead animal was to mourn the cruelty of an indifferent universe and the beautiful fragility of life, is quite possibly his most fundamental characteristic.
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thornsnvultures · 10 months
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bff!eddie x reader, fluff 🦝💓 cw: smoking/🍃 mention
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It's finally the weekend. You're spending it the way you usually do, lazing about Eddie's house. He's sitting on the floor quietly strumming his guitar and humming to himself while you lay on his bed and stare at the ceiling. It's not much but lately it's been your favorite way to pass the time.
You watched a movie and smoked with him earlier and as always the two of you wound up back in his room, talking about nothing.
"Eddie?"
He didn't look up from his guitar, just made a noise that told you he was listening and kept strumming.
"What would you do if you got, like, cursed by a witch and turned into a raccoon?"
"What do you mean? I am a raccoon."
"Pffft," you blow a raspberry and softly bop him on the head, the only part of him you can reach without getting up. "No really, what would you do?"
You can tell he's thinking so you give him a second. Your hand stays on his head, lightly scratching through his curls.
"Probably eat trash and sleep all day," he finally shrugs. "I don't know. What do raccoons do all day?"
"I don't know." You've never really thought about it before. But now you are and you're giggling at the thought of them having little raccoon jobs during the day. Maybe turning to a life of raccoon crime at night. Eddie starts laughing because you're laughing, doesn't matter he doesn't know what you're laughing at.
After a couple minutes you settle and go back to scratching, smiling at the back of Eddie'a head. "Would you...still hang out with me?"
"Who's cans do you think I'm rattling around in all day, baby?" Eddie's rolls his head back on the bed and winks at you.
"Nooooo," you break out into a fit of giggles again, hiding your face. "Don't rattle my cans!"
You hate how that wink replays in your mind again and again when your eyes are closed. You force yourself to open them and move your hands. The ceiling reminds you to chill. It's not like that for the two of you. Winking, flirting. It's just how Eddie is.
"I'd let you in. So you don't have to go dumpster diving. Feed you hotdogs. Or pizza."
"Even if I had fleas? Or ticks or something?"
"Yeah."
Eddie makes a noise like he's surprised at how easily you said yes.
"I'd give you a bath," you smile to yourself. "A bubble bath. Do you think raccoons like baths?"
"I saw one swimming in a pond one time," Eddie shrugs. "So maybe?"
Eddie stops strumming and puts his guitar down. He turns to face you, resting his chin on the edge of the mattress. A smile passes between the two of you and you turn on your side to see him better.
"Would you try to break my curse or would you like me better as a raccoon?"
"I mean, you'd make an adorable sidekick."
You play with the rings on his fingers instead of meeting his eyes. Eddie watches.
"True. But what kind of princess has a raccoon sidekick? Don't they usually have birds or mice?"
You roll onto your stomach, hiding your groan in his pillow. It smells too much like him and you can't handle him calling you a princess. You just can't. Not when he looks at you like that. His big brown eyes looking up at you like you really are a real life princess. It's too much.
"Do you know how to break a curse?" Eddie's question pushes through your inner turmoil. When you peek out at him he's still got that look but it's different somehow too. And your hand is still on his.
"Yeah," you gulp down your stupid overwhelming feelings. "Princesses are great at breaking curses."
Eddie's grin is megawatt, almost too much to look at. "Yeah? How would you turn me back?"
"Well, there is one way princesses usually break curses..."
"What way is that?"
You can't look at him. He's doing it to you on purpose, making you all flustered like this. He knows what you mean, knows how all the fairy tale princess stories end.
"With a kiss."
He's close, right there next to your head on his pillow, leaning into your space just a breath away. His hand is holding yours, probably has been in a while, and when he squeezes it all your fear fizzles away.
And you kiss him. First on the tip of his nose. Like he really was a raccoon with a curse to break. And then his lips before you can change your mind.
"Did it work?"
"Yeah," Eddie croaks and you laugh. "I was worried it wouldn't."
"Me too."
Eddie kisses you again, holds your face in his hands and really kisses you. And just like that the curse is lifted.
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raythekiller · 10 months
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🗒 ❛ Ticci Toby Headcanons ༉‧₊˚✧
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#Notes: Wanted to write some stuff fot my favorite boy. enjoy!
˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗
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He's actually kind of jealous of people who are talented with art and music. His tics make it almost impossible for him, but he always wanted to be good at it. He actually does sketch animals and landscapes every now and then, but it does get a bit wonky.
Will listen to anything, but really loves folk punk, especially AJJ and The Taxpayers. Also really likes McCafferty and The Front Bottoms, maybe some Hobo Johnson as well. He listens to music almost constantly to distract him from the voices.
His favorite animals are raccoons and owls! He likes any animal, really, but those two have a special place in his heart. Definitely already brought a raccoon into the manor and managed to hide it for a few weeks until either Tim or Slenderman found out about and made him get rid of it.
He's the definition of pansexual and genuinely doesn't care about someone's gender when it comes to attraction. He's also demisexual and needs to really know and like someone to actually take them to bed.
He gets almost no sleep. He's a cathermeral or so called "intermediate bird", so he goes to sleep super late but still wakes up before everyone else. Yes, he has some severe eye bags. He used to take sleep medicine before he got saved by Slenderman, but he forgot about all of his meds after that. That's why he's so unstable.
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ghostieboi1 · 7 months
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Papas and Pets
Papas I, II, III, IV
Summary: The types of pets the Papas would have and what kind of "animal dad" they'd be. (I was writing this while my cat was napping on me, he's very sweet 🥹)
Genres: Headcanons and fluff.
Warnings: Nothing other than tooth rotting fluff, all gifs are not mine
Primo
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Bird dad.
It's pretty simple logic, he's out in the gardens a lot more after retiring from being Papa and where do you constantly see birds? In gardens.
He's also fond of animals that aren't quite domesticated like opossums or raccoons but absolutely adores birds.
Any bird works for him but he has a particular fondness of owls, he has one in his room that's allowed to fly around freely most of the time.
That same owl can be seen wherever he's allowed to take it, whether it be on his shoulder or flying around him in a room.
He prides himself in being able to tame wild birds since it seems he's the only one in the Ministry that can, he calls himself the bird whisperer.
He's also the one you go to if a bird accidentally flew into one of the rooms in the Ministry because he'll wait until the bird lands near him then picks it up like it's just a rock or something and bring it outside.
For those cultured out there, you know that scene in Shrek 2 where Snow White sends those birds to attack those tree guard dudes? If he had to, Primo would probably be able to do it too.
Secondo
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Snake dad.
I feel like he's also kinda snake coded, the vast majority of people are afraid of him because he looks scary but then there's the few that love him to death (me) and see he's just a silly man.
He's known for scaring anyone that openly talks shit about him with one of his pet snakes, so most people keep their opinions on him in private.
The first snake he had was when he was younger and Primo freaked out a little after a snake hissed at him and Secondo just picked it up was like "I'm keeping him and his name will be Tommy."
And since then he's always had at least one pet snake around, he started naming them after fictional characters that were often associated with snakes, including naming one of them Slytherin.
He can and will make the "May I take your jacket, sir/ma'am?" joke when one of his snakes sheds their skin.
Let's his snake mostly free roam his room when he's in the room as well so if he thinks they might get stuck or hurt, he's there to prevent it from happening.
Terzo
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Cat dad.
This man LOVES cats, and he will openly cry if he sees anything where a cat is hurt or in danger even if it's fictional.
His favorite are black cats, mostly because he's sad they aren't shown enough love and because they seem to be the nicest cats.
He's also tried finding almost completely wild cats to adopt because he finds them absolutely beautiful.
Both Sister Imperator and Nihil have found him walking relatively fast in the Ministry's hallways late at night holding his jacket closed and stopped to ask him what he was doing and every time, without fail, the cat he was trying to hide meowed.
If he wasn't living in the Ministry, he'd be the crazy cat lady down the road that would even feed the stray cats his house couldn't hold.
COVERED in cat hair and cat scratches/bites all the time, it's impossible for him to get rid of them.
He's the "I found this cat malnourished in a garbage dumpster and I brought him here and he's my baby now" cat dad.
Copia
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Well, we can all guess what animal dad he is; Rat dad.
He used to be afraid of them but then he became fascinated with them and the rest is history.
Most people don't know about his pet rats so when they visit him in his office or room they get startled by them and maybe scream as Copia is just sitting at his desk/on his bed like "No! No! It's okay! It's okay!"
Similar to Terzo, he smuggled rats and would get caught by Sister Imperator every time.
Definitely gives his rats weird names like "Ratty Fatty" or some shit like that.
Also makes his rats fly when he wants to, but most of the time his rats will be napping somewhere on him.
Refers to his rats as his kids so when new Siblings of Sin join, they think he means actually children until they meet his rats.
Baby talks to his rats 24/7, and teaches his rats tricks when he's bored.
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the-cannibal · 2 years
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Slashers with an animal lover s/o
Gender neutral terms used - they/them, you/your
Bo Sinclair:
.Oh boy, he both finds it adorable how you love animals so much, and very annoying
.I mean, he already has to deal with Lester doing shit like bringing raccoons into the house, now he has to deal with you doing the same?!
.I mean he loves you! Don’t get me wrong! But if you try and hide a snapping turtle in the bathtub one more time because it “looked lonely” then he’s gonna hook you up to one of those kid leashes that some parents use to make sure their child doesn’t run off into trafic.
.Lester definitely encourages it.
. “Hey Les, have you seen Y/n?”
“Nope! Haven’t seen them all day.”
“Uh huh… so if I open the tail gate of your truck they aren’t gonna be in there snuggling with a baby deer?”
“…Y/N HES ON TO US RUN!”
Vincent Sinclair:
.He wouldn’t mind. As long as it don’t have rabbis or something.
.He has made so much art of you and different animals.
.Tell this man your favorite animal and he will make sure to make tons of art of it for you.
.just don’t bring them into the basement. We don’t want a repeat of last time… so… much… wax… everywhere…
Stu Macher:
.Oh this man loves animals too.
.You two would definitely go out into the woods by his house and catch little critters
.You two also sneak them into his bedroom (like bunnies and frogs)
.Ya’ll the type of people to call your animals your “fur babies”
.omg wait just imagine Stu is like sitting in class (not paying attention) and he just hears a light tap on the window, and he looks over to see you outside, covered in mud and holding a frog with a huge grin on your face.
.mans would definitely skip class just to go outside and look at the frog you found.
.”But babe, why are you all muddy?”
“Had to shimmy my ass down a log to catch this fucker!”
“WHEEZE-”
Billy Loomis:
.Im a strong believer that he is a cat person
.Im also a strong believer that that is the only animal he tolerates
. “Y/n get that thing out of here or so help me-”
“Okay okay! I’ll put it back!”
*They did not put it back*
.he would take you to animal shelters and zoos to let you look at and pet the animals.
.but he would then have to deal with you wanting to adopt every single one of them
. “No Y/n we are NOT taking home the alligator!”
“But Billy look at her! She’s calling out to me!”
*ANGRY ALLIGATOR HISSING*
Brahms:
.What is that thing Y/n is giving all their attention to? It’s not me? UNACCEPTABLE.
.Oh wait. It’s a little bird. Awww okay that’s kinda cute :)
.Wait why are they coming towards the house..? Wait y/N NO-
.yeah he keeps a close eye on you when you have animals ever since that day.
.but the big baby still gets jealous of them. That man is a brat for attention. Even if your holding a damn worm, that worm should be HIM.
Bubba Sawyer:
.Another animal lover!
.please show him any animal you find, his heart will absolutely melt and he will squeal in excitement
. “Bubba, Look! I found a little bunny!”
Cue Bubba making happy noises.
.I think because of his (beautiful gorgeous amazing) size he is scared to hold any animal, especially the small ones. He doesn’t wanna hurt the little fellas!
.but you help him through that fear!
“Here Bubs, just hold your hands like this… that’s it! Look at you! Ain’t you two just the cutest!
You’re making him a blushing, giggling mess Y/n
Michael Myers:
.No
.just don’t even try
.You will be lucky if any animal he comes across leaves with its life.
.sorry (Michaels not)
(Poly) The Lost Boys:
.Depends on the animal, they will either like it, dislike it, or love it.
.Marko is wary with animals you bring in the cave because of his birds.
.Dwayne finds it cute and will tell you any facts he knows about it. And will smile when you tell him facts back.
Also if you bond with Laddie with animals all of them are going to die of cute overload
.but let’s be honest, these big vampires would probably want to kill and eat most animals you bring home.
. “That’s a tasty looking deer there babe.”
“Paul I will rip you apart.”
.yeahhhh better only show them animals that they for sure won’t eat, like dogs and cats… but even then, keep an eye on them…
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beuxpatawn · 6 months
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Ordem Paranormal cast but they are critters in MS Paint :D
In case it’s hard to tell; Jeffery is a mouse, Diego is a jaguar, Benito is a raven, Luis is a crocodile, Lucie is a raccoon, and Emi is a caracal.
Ngl I don’t really have much of a reason for why, Diego is my favorite so I made em one of my favorite animals and Benito just has bird vibes. The rest were random animals that were already on my mind.
(I added watermarks and the little “OPQ” in procreate)
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surfgirl66 · 9 months
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Gulf Coast Islands
The Gulf Coast is home to six barrier islands: Cat Island, Ship Island, Deer Island, Horn Island, Round Island and Petit Bois Island. Each island has something special to offer, so see ‘em all if you’ve got the time. While all islands are available by private boat, only Ship Island offers a ferry service. Also, several charter boats offer island sightseeing.
Cat Island
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Once populated by raccoons, Spanish explorers mistook the raccoons for cats - therefore naming the island "Cat" Island. What’s more, during World War II, Cat Island was used to train dogs by the U.S. Army Signal Corps. Confusing animal anecdotes aside, the inside bayous and marshes of Cat Island make it a natural wonder. It is home to many beautiful birds and gators. Take note though, all but the western half and southern tip of the island (including most of the beach) is privately owned. (Located South of Long Beach)
Ship Island
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Easily accessible by ferry, Ship Island is home to Fort Massachusetts, a beautifully preserved brick fortification completed in 1868. Ship offers the most history of all the islands with seasonal fort tours to fill visitors in on its incredible past. There’s also excellent swimming, sunbathing, birding, shelling, hiking and fishing. Oh! And a boardwalk that extends one third of a mile across the island to the Gulf of Mexico. Restrooms, freshwater showers, drinking water, covered picnic areas and a snack bar are located along the boardwalk. Beach chair and umbrella rentals also available. Definitely worth a visit! (Located South of Gulfport and Biloxi)
Deer Island
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The closest island to the Mississippi Gulf Coast, Deer Island is believed to be named for the deer that swim there for safety during hunting season. Visitors can enjoy the beach, search for ancient arrowheads, swim and fish - all located just minutes from the mainland. (Located South of Biloxi)
Horn Island
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A bit further out than Cat and Deer, Horn Island is a great spot for swimming, boating and relaxing. Several miles long - but less than a mile at its widest - Horn Island features long stretches of beach and sand dunes, along with sea oats, tall pines and inland lagoons. This island is a fan favorite for locals. Alligators, pelicans and other wildlife are also fans of the island. (Located South between Biloxi & Ocean Springs)
Round Island
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This small, uninhabited island serves as a coastal preserve for many critters. The isolated terrain consists of slash pine, interior marsh, and sandy beach - a perfect feeding and resting spot for migratory birds like brown pelican, white pelican, and cormorants. This island also had a lighthouse as early as 1833. This original wooden structure was since replaced (twice!), and recently, the lighthouse was moved on-shore to the foot of the Pascagoula River Bridge. (Located South of Pascagoula)
Petit Bois Island
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At roughly 6 miles long, Petit bois translates to "little woods" in French. Petit Bois has a small wooded section on the eastern end of the island. It’s got great swimming and fishing in store for visitors, and just because it’s petite, it doesn’t mean you won’t have loads of fun there. (Located South of Pascagoula)
(There is actually one more island the locals have named Sand Island. It was once a part of the western tip of Horn Island, but was "broken off" during a hurricane years ago. You can see it in the distance in the last pic above of Petit Bois.)
I didn't write the above descriptions; I just added the pictures. I can't remember where I found the story (this has been sitting in my drafts for a couple of months), but as soon as I find it again, I'll add the source.
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bokutosmochi · 1 year
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I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT THE OTHER HALF OF ME ♡ BOKUTO KOTARO
bokuto kotaro x fem!reader
"two orders of ice cream sandwich for bokuto kotaro and anon please!"
ingredients? you and bokuto take a stroll through the park and meet two teenagers leading to a heartwarming misunderstanding.
what's it? fluff
allergen warnings? n/a
sugar level? 1.1k
regulars? @tokyometronetwork @tahonet
parlor's note? i made bokuto into the biggest animal lover here because,,, he seems like he would be one
bon appetit!
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as much as msby's ace player loved volleyball, there were things about off season that he has grew to appreciate too; he could visit his junior akaashi, their batch of fukurodani graduates would hold their reunion around that time, and most importantly, he had more time to hang out with you. besides, just because it was volleyball's off season doesn't mean he couldn't play the sport he was in love with, right? you and him spent many hours of your free time playing it.
"i'm so glad you have so much more free time now, kou." you hummed, leaning your head against his bicep. you had an arm around his as the both of you strolled through tennoji park in osaka.
"me too, angel!" he beamed at you, his signature grin on his face and warming up your heart. you could feel the way he loved you through the way he looked at you alone, and the thought made your heart flutter wildly in your chest.
the park you were in was so beautiful and there were so many things you could do.
they hosted the tennoji zoo which your boyfriend was too happy to indulge in. you were worried his smile would cut through the skin of his face when he caught sight of the various animals they had.
he waved countless times at the animals they had in their animals of the african savanna zone. you noticed that he seemed to be particularly fond of the egyptian goose, the lesser flamingos, the giraffe, and the red panda. he found the spotted hyena's cackles to be contagious too.
after that section was the animals of the asian tropical rainforest zone. at first, you didn't think that you've ever seen bokuto as lively as he was looking at the animals in that section such as the egyptian rousette, the japanese raccoon dog - "oh my god, baby! look at how chunky he is!" he exclaimed, tugging at the sleeve of your shirt -, the siamang, and the brown kiwi. odd as it was, he also seemed weirdly intimidated by the lion-tailed macaque.
after that, you proceeded to the section that you thought he would be the most excited for -- the aviary zone. despite the fact that they did not have any horned owls, bokuto still had a soft spot for birds. several of the birds he liked he saw in the zoo today such as the little egret which he kept on saying hello to, the common mallard, and the chinese spot-billed duck. in the surrounding section, they also had polar bears, laughing kookaburras - which he shared a quick hoot with -, and california sea lions.
but what the real highlight of bokuto's zoo experience was going to their petting zoo. remember when you thought that bokuto has never been livelier as when he was visiting the asian tropical rainforest zone? you were wrong. he was much livelier petting and making friends with the noma horses, the long earred goats, and his personal favorite, the rabbits.
bokuto was next to vibrating when you exited the tennoji zoo. glowing and with a sparkle in his sunshine toned eyes -- it matched his personality, you thought.
"gahhh!! all the animals there were so cute! i can't wait to go to another zoo! maybe we can get a dog together too?? after all, we already live together, it's gonna be so fun!" he threw his hands up in the air. "i want a big dog! and i want it to be a rescue too so we can give the doggie a second chance!"
he looked at you with wide, hopeful eyes and tilted his head to the side "what do you think?" but before you could get a word out, you were interrupted by a fan of his.
"oh my god! bokuto kotaro of msby black jackals!"
two teenage girls ran up to the both of you wearing msby jerseys. one of them was wearing atsumu's with a skirt, and the other was wearing sakusa's with a pair of pants.
"we're such big fans of you!" the exclaimed when they stopped in front of you. "my little brother even started playing volleyball because of you! he said he wanted to be as cool as you."
bokuto thanked them for their support, and ever the great role model, offered to give the girl's brother a video message; there really was a reason why your boyfriend was always the one to be chosen by msby black jackals' pr team whenever an interview or a promotional video had to be done. everyone naturally gravitated towards him and his cheerful personality, and he's just generally very likable.
you thought that you were just going to be in the background like you always were whenever bokuto was approached by fans, but you thought wrong. "hello," they greeted you. "you and bokuto are always so cute. the way you support each other? ugh!" she squealed. the person she was with laughed at her friend's behavior. "it's true! you're literally relationship goals. i'm glad bokuto put a ring on it, you seem so sweet and genuine."
immediately, your face heated up and your eyes widened. "n-no, he hasn't put a ring on it. we're not engaged or married." you laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of your head as the two girls simultaneously went ohhhh. "well, that's just another tale of online news reporters spreading untruths, i guess." she shrugged. "i'm sorry for the misunderstanding. i hope the two of you have a good rest of your day." she bowed deeply before they both walked away.
you were about to turn to bokuto to share a laugh with him because of what just happened, when you were crushed to his chest. he gave you the type of hugs you usually received whenever you take him to the airport for an away game, or the type gives you after away games that he couldn't bring you to. his signature bokuto bear hugs. "yet." he mumbled into your hair. "i haven't put a ring on it yet, but one day, you'll be mrs. bokuto! i swear you will!"
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i get: reblog
you get: owl stuffed toy
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edgelordfucker · 2 years
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Ok picture this reader climbing up onto Belos’ head like a raccoon
She has the strength and muscle to climb his height (I like to think that the reader is considerably short like 5’4 max) and Belos is able to sustain their weight on his head because he’s literally seven and a half feet tall WITHOUT his Emperor gear on with it on he is NINE FEET TALL so y/n is just like picking up a feather to him
CONSIDERABLY SHORT AT 5'4 MAX. ANON I AM HITTING YOU WITH A STICK. ANON. ANON HOW TALL ARE YOU. I'M 5'2 ((and a half)) AND NORMAL ABOUT IT (clearly) SO IF 5'4 IS THE CUT-OFF FOR "considerably short" WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME. ANON. COME OVER HERE ANON I JUST WANT TO TALK.
jfsdjkf sorry this isn't exactly what you asked for, but it's the first thing that came to mind that made me laugh! I hope you like it! 🖤🖤🖤 ((Quick set-dressing, I'm pretending that there's a big 'Coven Day Fun Day' before the parade, like a cross between a field day and a carnival, where all of the coven heads come, and they invite the brightest from their covens and their families, and some members of the public, so it's a whole big thing, and that's where the reader and Belos are.))
"Alright, so-" You put your hands on your waist, sizing up the tree and the black balloon tangled in its branches. "You can't reach it, and, I mean, I could-" Belos snorts. "Look, I'm sorry that you feel like you need to see my telescoping bones to believe that I have them, when it's super common knowledge that all humans just have telescoping bones." You glance at him, askance, and then add, with the utmost pity, "That's sad for you."
"I just find it interesting that this 'common knowledge' only came up last week," he replies, doing some consideration of both the tree and the balloon himself. "While you were losing at Witch Scrabble."
"Fuckin'- I have a pancreas." You bobble your head at him. "We've never talked about my pancreas, but I for sure have that. Do you doubt my-" you motion generally at the entirely wrong spot for a pancreas to be in you body. "-pancreasity since I didn't introduce myself like," you hold your hand out to him for a handshake, with overwrought enthusiasm, "Hi! My name is-" Suddenly, a loud bird cries out overhead, drowning you out for a split second, "-and I have telescoping bones and a pancreas!" You let your hand drop, shrugging sarcastically. "I'm sorry that I don't perform bones on command."
"That's not where the pancreas is."
"Oh, so you believe that I have a pancreas, and not telescoping bones? Sight unseen?" you shoot back.
"I know you have a pancreas," he starts, haughty, "because I have a pancreas, and humans and witches have the organ in a similar place." You splutter.
"Fuckin'- Okay, Diogenes, if you use yourself as a ruler to measure against every experience, does that make every plucked chicken a man? Just because you're seven and a half fucking feet tall, does that make me small? No! Because you're a big, big, man." The cadence of the last words makes him think you're referencing something, but it's beyond him.
"Plato." He slips it into your brief pause for breath.
"What?" This stops you in your tracks.
"Plato defined a man as a featherless biped. You would be Diogenes, if I'm following your argument."
"Why," you ask, cocking a hip, "do you know that?"
"Actually," he adds, in a bid to redirect your attention, "I would call you considerably short."
"I would call you a bigot, and divorced." A sensation of warmth settles over him. This is one of his favorite of your rhetorical devices, letting him know that you were married only when you playfully divorce him. Belos shifts his weight towards you, crowding further into his already intimate occupation of your space.
"We're not married," he says, softly. A strand of hair has worked itself loose in the wind, and he tucks it behind your ear, tracing the hollow of it with his fingertips.
"That makes it even easier to file the paperwork," you reply, just as gentle. As he pulls his hand back, you catch it to steal a quick kiss from his knuckles, looking straight into his eyes beyond the mask, before you let it fall into place at his side. His heart gives a hard thump.
"It just seems like," he says, trying to wrestle the conversation into his control, "it would be easier to use your. 'Telescoping bones'," his tone lends a dubious drip to the words, "instead of...," he gestures with a put-upon vagueness, "let's say, for example, sitting on the floor of the kitchen-"
"Stop," you cut in, with an affected flatness, already seeing what he's getting at.
"-crying." He pauses just long enough for it to poke at you, without you being able to talk over him. "Because you couldn't reach the top cabinet."
"I wasn't- I didn't cry, I just teared up a little bit-" He tilts his head.
"I distinctly remember tears."
"I was! Sweaty! From navigating your freakish counters-"
"Which would've been much easier to do with telescoping arms."
"Show me your pancreas." It takes Belos a split second to switch gears, and you pounce. "Show me. Pull it out. Show me your pancreas."
"My... pancreas? My pancreas that is inside of me?"
"You process sugar? You consume glucose? Lemme see it."
"What do you think a pancreas does?"
"You can't gaslight me about the pancreas - it's my best friend, and it has a tail."
"I thought that I was your best friend."
"Not right now!"
The breeze picks up, and your balloon shivers dangerously against the branches, the string slipping just a little looser. You gasp.
"No! My balloon!" Turning to him with a disproportionate determination than the situation warrants, you continue, "Look. We have something at stake here bigger than the telescoping bones that all humans have, and the fact that you're wrong to doubt me when I say that I have telescoping bones." Belos kisses his teeth. "We gotta get up there. And I think, with our powers combined-" You shake yourself. "Wait- You're fucking magic!"
"No, please," there is a wild glee in his voice, as he makes some assumptions, "I want to see where this is going."
"No! Do some magic, magic man. Why have we been standing here-"
"You've been very insistent about your pancreas, and I didn't want to interrupt. Only polite."
"Sh- stop. Balloon." You point at it. He looks to you, down the line of your arm, to the balloon, where it is nervously knocking against a particularly menacing branch, and then back to you.
"I'm terribly sorry, but, unfortunately, I don't perform on command."
"That's bullshit. If you're not gonna get it, I'm just going to use you as a step ladder," you threaten.
"That would make this years 'Coven Day Fun Day' very interesting, now wouldn't it?"
You glance over to the side, where there are several poorly concealed photographers, and one that is using an illusion to make it look like they're poorly concealed; Belos can see straight through it, and startles them by looking at them directly.
"Helluva photo-op," you say, doubtful. Oh. Oh, that would be good, wouldn't it? Well, maybe not you climbing him like a racoon - he shivers. Creepy little hands - but... Belos can see it in his minds eye. A glimpse of your romance, the imposing Emperor gallantly lifting his Lady, all for something so simple and frivolous? Tender, sweet, just a little silly and sentimental. Yes. Yes, he likes that.
And he really needs something other than the catastrophic failure of the 'Scary-Go-Round' that he's been trying to ensure that you don't notice to dominate the evening news.
You're standing more-or-less directly under the balloon, and Belos comes around to stand in front of you, casting a quick spell to muffle the click of the shutters, so that you won't get distracted when the cameras start flashing. You look up at him, head tilted.
"Hold on," he says, dipping down to grab your waist.
"To wh-huh?!" Belos picks you up easily, quickly switching his hold from your waist to brace his forearms under your bottom, supporting your weight, and letting you get your balance with your hands on his shoulders. "I'm not cleared for this airspace!" you squeak.
"I've got you," he soothes.
"Oh, wow," you say, adjusting remarkably quickly. You use one hand to shade your eyes as you twist slightly against him, getting a good view of the fairground a little ways away. "You can see so many things up here! Damn." You look to him again, giving him a big, beautiful smile. "Hi!"
"Hello," he returns, his own soft grin clear in his voice.
"This is neat. I normally only ever see you like this when we're horizontal," you remark.
"Are you going to get your balloon?" he gently reminds you.
"Oh! Right, yeah-" You reach above, easily catching the string. He tips his head back, watching as you carefully tie one end into a loop, making a quick slip knot, and secure it to your wrist. Then, you return your hand to his shoulder. "Our powers combined!" you exclaim, oh-so-pleased. You get so excited over the littlest things. It's wildly endearing.
Belos carefully starts to lower you as you each watch the other. Your eyes dip down to where his mouth is covered by the mask, and he pauses your descent when your faces are level on instinct. With a quiet laugh, you lean forward to kiss him. His lips tingle where they go untouched, and there are gasps from the photographers that make it past his spell. There's a soft noise as you break the kiss, and into a self-conscious smile as he lets you get your feet.
"C'mon," you say, taking him by the hand, "we're late for the Coven Head Bean-Bag race. My money's on Lilith."
"I don't know, I've heard that Adrian's been practicing," he replies, allowing himself to be lead.
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Text
Fem Night Witch!Yuu’s nicknames for the NRC Students and Staff.
TW:cussing,insults, brief mentions of the Evil Mustache Man
Yuu has given nicknames for literally everyone these are those names:
Grim: Raccoon, Fire-Breathing Cat, Idiot #1, Dumbass #1
Riddle: Mini Mustache Man(pre-Book 1), Little Rose(post-book 1)
Ace: Idiot #2, Heart-Eye, Trappola
Deuce: Deus, Dumbass #2(affectantly), Mama’s Boy, Spade
Trey, Mr. Sweets, Baba Yaga(no explanation), BakerMan, Clover, Father of Heartslabyul
Cater: Carter(accidentally), Gem, Diamond
Leona: Overgrown Cat, Lazy Lion
Jack: Big Doggie, Werewolf, Howl
Ruggie: Rug, Hyena, Fluffy Ears
Azul: Octo-Boi, Blue, Mob Boss
Jade: Twin #1, Mushroom, Eel #1
Floyd: Crazy Bitch, Twin #2, Eel #2
Kalim: Nice Boy, Rich Guy #1, Dumbass #3
Jamil: Snake Boi, Fancy Words Man, Viper, Father of Scarabia
Vil: Schoenheit, Mustache Man, Злой, недобрый человек
Epel: Apple Pie, Американский яблочный пирог, Strong Man
Rook: Hunt, Охота, Creepy Guy, Creepy French Guy
Idia: Hermit Man, Fire Head
Ortho: Small Child, Sweet Child, Little Fire Hair, Hermit Man’s Little Brother, My Favorite
Malleus: Цунотаро, Tall Guy, зеленые светлячки, My 3rd Favorite
Lilia: Old Man, Man-Child, Pointy Ears
Silver: Sleepy Boy, My 2nd Favorite, Sweetie, Sleepy Head
Sebek: Loud Ass, Loud Bitch, Idiot #3
Crowley: Headmage Bird Brain, Idiot #4, Dumbass #4, Brainless Idiot
Crewel: Favorite Professor #2, Father-Figure #2, Bomb Supplier
Trein: Favorite Professor #3, Grandfather-Figure, #1 Cat-Dad
Vargas: Favorite Professor #1, Father-Figure #1
Sam: Big Brother, Shadow Man]
Translations;
Злой, недобрый человек-Evil Man
Американский яблочный пирог-American Apple Pie
Цунотаро-Tsunotaro
зеленые светлячки-Green Firefly
More Night Witch!Yuu chaos to come soon ^w^
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commander-erwin-smith · 10 months
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Spoilers under the cut for those that haven’t watched season 2 of Sweet Tooth yet. I'm super late making this post because of unfortunate life events but here we go.
Season 2 was really good. I managed to have the energy to watch it upon release and it didn’t take me long to get through. I ended up finishing it only a few days into May.
It was nice to see Gus’s relationship with the other hybrids, though most of them that were there at the end of season 1 obviously were killed off and it’s odd that they forgot about all of them except for Roy. That was a shame. I can’t remember many of the surviving hybrid kids’ names, but the raccoon girl, Tommy Turtle, the bird girl, and the owl (?) girl are my favorites.
I was disappointed that Johnny was killed and I was hoping that General Abbot missed his shot and didn’t hit something vital. I was expecting Johnny to be found and actually help them against Abbot and be the one to kill him. Am I the only one who started shipping Johnny with Rani? I think they would have been a cute couple because it seemed like they maybe were starting to like one another as both he and Adi started going through their own mindset change. I wish Johnny and Rani would have ended up together.
I also started shipping Aimee with Jepperd. I was surprised that they killed her off. I was a bit disappointed, but it makes sense because her role will be Bear's now to fulfill. I was hoping that Aimee would have ended up with Jepperd, but I had a theory that the one Last Men guy lied to him about his family being dead and gave him some random people's bones and that his family was somehow still alive. I figured that Jepperd would find them alive again next season or a later season (which would be more likely), but then Netflix confirmed that Sweet Tooth was canceled after season 3 which sucks because the comics were apparently much longer and they could have made the series longer. Now I feel like Birdie and Jepperd will end up together perhaps.
Bear and Wendy's reunion was very nice. She'll do anything for her sister. Now she has the rest of the hybrids to protect and it will be interesting to see how their life unfolds with Bear. They've all been through so much and deserve happiness.
This brings me next to the Animal Army. I wish they could have gotten more screen time after Tiger had them betray Bear. They were an important organization and deserved more time to shine before they got killed off this season. I was happy that Tiger and Bear were reunited and that she could get her little redemption arc. Tiger died doing the right thing and was able to warn Bear that the Last Men were coming. I wish she could have lived longer.
Also, that teen boy Bear met when she snuck into the Last Men. I've already forgotten his name. I wonder if he survived and if we will see him next season. I feel like he could have been an important piece this season. He could have been one that could have been brainwashed and come to realize that hybrids aren't the bad ones. He could have seen the light if he would have stuck around Bear. They both could have been important to each other's character. I also started shipping them too. I wonder if we will see him next season and if we will get a reunion between them.
Season 3 is going to have a lot of shoes to fill: Gus and Jepperd's journey to find Birdie, Birdie making the cure, whatever Adi will be up to, whatever Rani is up to now that she's off on her own, Bear and the hybrid kids, and the woman who will take over as the villain for season 3. I wonder how they will get everything done in around 12 episodes. Maybe they will make a few movies?? Who knows. I can't wait to see what happens. I enjoyed this series a lot and I don't want to see it end so soon. I'm such a sucker for found family elements.
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littleguyconnor · 2 months
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what is all the tf2s LEAST favorite animal
LEAST favorite… Interessent…
Soldier- Coyotes or bobcats. They’re the natural enemies of raccoons and I feel like he’d like to wrestle them to death anyway
Demoman- Cats. I feel like he’d be more of a dog person, a creature that’s as joyful and excited as he is
Pyro- Would they HAVE a least favorite animal?? I’m just gonna say Smokey The Bear because they hate the shit out of him
Engineer- I’m gonna say cats again, but specifically stray cats. I lived in Texas most of my life and stray cats are rampant. They’re like gangs
Sniper- Spiders. They get into all of his things and inside his van. He can’t trust his shoes in the morning if he leaves them out somewhere
Heavy- Bears.
Medic- I don’t think he’d dislike any animal, but he’d probably be a bit nervous around snakes if his birds were around.
Spy- Dogs. They’re just a bit too big and rowdy for him, plus all the shedding
Scout- Turtles. They’re too slow
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