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andorerso · 11 months

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Hi! I'm taking an opportunity you presented and I'm asking for more of your story: let the cat out of the bag. I adore it and would like more of it!

A sequel to this AU with some more adventures of Mimi the Cat! Thanks for the prompt, I hope you like this <3

Summary: Five months after they started dating, Jyn gets cold feet and tries to run from her feelings. Naturally, Mimi is not happy about this.

OR, how Mimi saves this relationship for the second time.

Jyn has prepared a little box with all of Cassian’s things she could find: a pair of socks, two shirts, a toothbrush, a razor, shaving cream, his favorite shampoo, one of his cookbooks… She didn’t realize how much stuff he’d kept at her place, growing roots in her home the same way he’d sneaked into her life. Slowly, steadily, subtly. And so thoroughly, she doesn’t know how to cut him out.

She hesitates when it comes to the blue shirt she loved to sleep in, running her fingers across the soft material like it was his skin.

A clean break would be better, right? No need to torture herself with old memories. This would be hard as it is…

Jyn puts the shirt in the box and slams the lid shut. It sits on the living room table all day, taunting her, while Mimi squats under the couch, unwilling to even look in her direction.

Fair enough. She doesn’t really want to look at herself either right now.

Cassian is stopping by soon to collect his things, and then it’ll be over.

She shouldn’t complain. She’s the one who ended things after all. Still, the finality of it squeezes her lungs so tight that she has to stop and remember to breathe. They dated only for five months; it shouldn’t feel like this. He shouldn’t be such an integral part of her that she can’t go on without him. It was meant to be just some harmless fun. But she’d underestimated how much this would hurt.

Seeing Cassian on her doorstep doesn’t help. The face that once put a smile on her lips now makes her want to curl up in a ball and cry while she eats ice cream out of a box like those women in romantic comedies during the second act fallout.

Except this is no movie. She doesn’t expect a grand reunion at the end of all this.

Jyn leads him to the living room, ignoring the memories of all the times she’s done that only to grab him by the collar and pull him down on the couch to fool around. It’s more or less how their first kiss went, right on that couch with half a dozen notebooks open in front of them and forgotten for the night as her legs wrapped around him and his hands slid under her shirt.

Then, a couple of months of unattached sex, or so they had said until Mimi had meddled in her own strange, brilliant way and made them admit their feelings for each other. And so they’d begun dating, five months of bliss Jyn had never experienced before. Not perfect, no, but imperfect in a way that was just right.

Oh, she remembers thinking one night as she played with Cassian’s hair while he slumbered peacefully next to her. So this is what people write all those poems about.

Looking back now, that realization might have been the beginning of the end. Because this is what she does, she runs. When things get too real, she cuts the cord and disappears. Leaves behind a string of broken hearts, but none of them her own.

Except this time, it feels more like she severed her own hand rather than whatever cord tied them together. Cassian left, but the cord stretched taut and continued to tug her towards him while she slowly bled out from her self-inflicted wound.

Now here they are. All those months, and they can barely stand to look at each other. Pathetic.

A scratching sound interrupts her train of thought as Mimi finally pulls herself out from under the couch. Of course she would, now that he’s here. Little traitor.

With a single, drawn-out meow, she runs to Cassian and greets him by rubbing her small body against his leg while she trots around him in circles. The twitch of his lips as he looks down at her is Jyn’s first glimpse behind the calm mask he donned.

Her heart squeezes. Damn it. He’s always loved her stupid cat to irrationality. Once, she joked that the real love story was not between her and Cassian, but between Mimi and Cassian. Cassian laughed and kissed her forehead while he continued to rub Mimi between her ears.

“It can be both,” he said.

Well, she’s effectively ended both as well.

Cassian leans down to stroke his hand against Mimi’s white fur a couple of times, a sight so familiar that Jyn has to dig her nails into her palm to keep her composure. The cord tugs harder but she digs her heels into the ground and refuses to budge. She can’t go back now.

Cassian doesn’t linger as long as he normally would. He straightens up, despite the displeased yowl Mimi lets out, and gives Jyn a look of apprehension.

She jerks her head towards the box on the table. “That’s all I could find.”

Her voice is strained with things she doesn’t want to admit. Like how much she’s missed him in just the week they’ve been separated, how she isn’t actually sure she’s making the right choice, how scared she is to never see him again…

What would he say if she told him all that?

Cassian picks up the box, ruffling through its contents. He has nothing to give back to her. They spent more time at her apartment because of Mimi, but the realization still gives her pause. Had she really been so closed off that she wouldn’t even bring over a toothbrush? Had she been holding him at arm’s length all this time without knowing it?

“Thanks.” He clears his throat as he closes the lid shut, gives her a fleeting glance. He’s unable to hold her gaze for too long. His face is smooth as marble, but the tension in his posture is obvious. “Well, I should just…” He trails off, gesturing towards the door.

“Right.”

Neither of them moves. They stand in awkward silence, waiting for the other to say something, fix things, be honest. But she can’t make her voice work. If that was so easy, she wouldn’t be here to begin with.

Cassian snaps out of it first. He turns away, heading for the door, and Jyn knows the window has closed. No takebacks now. She follows him with a heavy heart, watches silently as he pulls on his coat and prepares to walk out of her life. Will they go back to strangers now like they’d never known each other? Will he nod at her politely on the street or turn away with a frown? Will it still mean anything to him a year from now?

He pulls the door open, and Jyn loses her composure. “Cassian —”

Before she even finishes saying his name, he’s already stopped and turned to face her again. One hand on the doorknob, he waits, patiently, for her to speak. But with those dark eyes that miss nothing watching her, she loses her nerve again, and the words get stuck in her throat. Whatever those words even were.

Don’t go? I’m sorry? Can we talk about this?

As Jyn hesitates and Cassian waits, Mimi, who’s followed them to the foyer, slips between his legs and runs out the door.

“Shit!” Jyn takes off after her without a second thought, but the little devil is far too fast for her own good and is already sprinting down the stairs at the end of the hallway. “Mimi, stop!”

She can hear Cassian fumble with something in her apartment, but she doesn’t stop, taking stairs two at a time as she tries to catch up with Mimi.

It’s no use. By the time she reaches the ground floor, Mimi is nowhere to be seen, and the single mom from the second floor is blinking at her in surprise, holding the main door open.

“She just ran out, I didn’t see —”

Jyn doesn’t dignify that with a response, tearing out into the street and blinking helplessly at the busy neighborhood. It’s the typical picture: people rushing by on their phones, cars honking, drivers yelling, a baby crying in a stroller, a street musician on the other side playing his guitar… The noise feels oppressive.

Now what? She looks left, she looks right. Mimi could have gone in any direction. And with the amount of traffic they have in this area…

Her heart racing, Jyn takes deep breaths and tries not to panic. Too late. She’s not prepared to deal with this. Sure, she often jokes about Mimi being her heartless little devil cat, but it’s nothing but affectionate teasing. Mimi’s her baby and she can’t imagine her life without her. She’s never run away before; she isn’t an outdoor cat. If something happens… if they can’t find her…

Cassian arrives behind her, but Jyn’s still scanning the crowd, hoping to catch a flash of white fur.

“Is she gone?”

“I…” She can’t finish her words, a ball lodged in her throat.

Cassian grips her shoulders and turns her to face him, but she’s too distraught to even feel the burn of his touch.

“Hey, don’t panic. She must be nearby.” He sounds so sure, but Jyn knows he’s only trying to reassure her. Well, she’s gonna let him. Eyes locked on Cassian, she nods and tries to believe him.

Mimi couldn’t have gotten that far, right? She was just pissed at Jyn for sending Cassian away, a fact she’s already made clear in the past week. She was playing the part of an angry teenager running away from home to piss off her parents. Very dramatic. Very unnecessary. But she’d come back.

She has to.

“I locked your door,” Cassian continues, producing a key from his pocket that he hands to her. “Come on, I’ll help you look.”

“You don’t have to,” Jyn begins feebly, but nothing sounds worse than the thought of doing this on her own. Luckily, Cassian sees right through her bullshit. He sends her a look that says he isn’t willing to argue about this, and Jyn’s heart swells with appreciation.

“We’ll find her, I promise.”

xxx

The sun starts to set, casting the sky in pink and orange hues, and Mimi is still missing.

Jyn is beginning to lose hope of ever seeing her beloved cat again. More and more nefarious possibilities of what might have happened circle her like dark clouds before a storm, and she can’t push them down anymore. What if she was attacked by a dog, what if she was hit by a car, what if someone saw her, thought she was cute, and picked her up to take her home, what if what if what if

Cassian tries to keep her spirits high, but he’s fighting a losing battle.

“She’ll turn up,” he insists, always so determined, as they make their way back to her apartment building. “We can print some posters, post it on social media —” he goes on but Jyn doesn’t want to hear it.

It all begins to build in her chest; breaking up with Cassian, the shitty days at work, the sleepless nights, the endless cycle of repetition… Now this. She can’t lose Mimi too, she just can’t.

She doesn’t know how to survive without both of them.

“Stop!” Jyn bursts out just as they reach her apartment building, then buries her face in her hands. Cassian clams up, but she can feel his worried gaze boring into her. “Everything sucks!”

With that, she dramatically plops down on the front steps, removing her hands from her face to rub at her temples. Everything sucks is an understatement, but she doesn’t have the words to describe the heavy weight sitting on her chest. Tears prick at her eyes, and it takes all her energy to keep them at bay. Crying in public in front of your ex-boyfriend was not on the agenda today.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Cassian hesitating for a second before he joins her.

“You wanna go upstairs? Rest a little?”

“No.”

“Okay. How about those posters then? I can make them if you want.”

“I can make them myself!” she snaps, angrier than she should be.

“Okay. Do you want me to go then?”

“No.”

“Right.” Cassian clears his throat and falls silent. For a while, neither of them speaks as they stare out at the street while the night grows darker around them. Clearly, she’s sending mixed signals here. She should say something. Tell him that he can go, that he’s already done enough. She can handle it from here. But she isn’t sure she can. Selfishly, she doesn’t want to let him go yet — because then, she’ll be truly alone.

No cat, no boyfriend. Just Jyn in her all too empty apartment with nothing but her own thoughts to keep her company.

“Hey…” It’s Cassian’s gentle voice that pulls her back to the present and makes her realize those damn tears leaked from her eyes anyway. And now she can’t stop. She wipes at her face furiously, sniffing, but they keep falling, and when Cassian reaches for her hand and pulls her into his arms, she doesn’t fight it.

She buries her face in his shoulder and lets herself weep for a few seconds. Cassian’s arm circles around her waist, one hand rhythmically stroking her hair. He doesn’t say anything, but she’s glad, preferring his silent but solid presence over meaningless words of reassurance. It doesn’t erase the ache in her chest but calms her down long enough to stop sobbing and pull herself together.

“I’m sorry,” she says when she pulls away, wiping at her eyes. Despite their five-month-long relationship, it’s only the second time she let herself cry around him. She doesn’t think Cassian would judge her or make fun of it, but it’s hard to override two decades worth of self-preservation instincts. Don’t show weakness, don’t show vulnerability, don’t give them ammo to hurt you; it’s always been one of her most important rules.

But it’s also why she broke up with him, isn’t it? She’s never considered that you can’t build a relationship on mistrust because she’s never had any that mattered. Now she has to figure out if she could unlearn those habits and keep Cassian, or let him go for good.

“And not just for sniveling all over you,” Jyn continues, speaking slowly as she thinks about what she wants to tell him and how to say it. “I’m sorry for chasing you away. I was just… I was…”

“You got scared,” Cassian finishes for her, getting to the heart of the matter without preamble. Jyn’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He lifts a shoulder, a quiet huff on his lips that almost sounds amused. “I know you. Better than you think. Better than you probably want me to.”

“I… That’s not true. I want you to know me.” She can understand how it might not seem that way, but it’s true. Deep in her heart, she wants nothing more than to be seen and understood by him. It’s just all that fear getting in the way, whispering cruel things in her ear and making her question herself. You’re not good enough for him. He doesn’t want you like you want him. He’s not going to stick around forever. It’s better to cut your losses now while you can. Leave him before he can leave you.

Her armor may have protected her for years, but it’s now become the number one enemy working against her.

“But if you knew,” Jyn begins, her mouth pulling into a frown, “why didn’t you say anything?”

Cassian’s gaze drops to his lap. “Jyn, I can’t force you to want to be with me. I can’t force you not to run. You have to figure that out for yourself. I thought… if you’re ready, you’ll come back.”

“And if I’m not?” she asks, a strange tremor in her voice.

“Then you’re not.” He looks up, and his dark brown eyes and long eyelashes mesmerize her for a second. He’s so close, so warm, so pretty; she has to ball her hands into fists to keep from reaching out. Touching him has become natural like breathing. She doesn’t know how to quit it, quit him.

Fuck, it’s not fair. How is she expected to think clearly when he’s watching her like that? Fantasizing about kissing him breathless is not a productive train of thought at the moment.

“I want to be with you, but it has to be your choice to come back.”

So maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it’s the way he looks at her, maybe it’s his smell, his warmth, his magnetism, maybe it’s that she doesn’t want to be stuck behind her castle walls anymore. Safe but alone.

Or maybe it’s the way she’s struggled to sleep at night, kept awake by the memory of their time together and how happy he’s made her, but she tells him, “I think I can try harder.”

“Jyn, is that Mimi?”

Jyn blinks, surprised by his response for a second. Then she remembers. She isn’t even sure Cassian heard what she said, but when she turns and finds Mimi strutting down the sidewalk towards them like nothing was amiss, all thoughts of their relationship issues escape her brain.

Gasping, Jyn shoots up and runs to snatch Mimi into her arms, hardly daring to believe it. She’s come back. She’s okay. A little dirty, and positively grumpy at being held like this, but otherwise unharmed.

Jyn’s almost lost all hope, and the relief that floods her chest now threatens to bring on another wave of tears. Biting down hard on her lip, she tightens her grip around Mimi and breathes in deeply. She’s cried enough today.

“Where have you been?” Jyn demands, but her voice is too high and shaky to sound scolding at all. “We’ve been looking all over for you, young lady!”

“Yeah.” Cassian comes to stand beside her, reaching out a hand to rub Mimi under her chin because, as Jyn knows from experience, he just can’t help it. “You scared us.”

Us, Jyn thinks, sending a small smile his way. A team.

Mimi lets out a belligerent meow and starts wiggling in Jyn’s arms. By the way she wags her tail, Jyn knows she’s getting annoyed at being held like this, but tough luck. She’s not letting go until they’re back safe and sound in her apartment. That’s what you get when you run away from home and scare your parents half to death.

Readjusting her grip on Mimi, she turns to Cassian and gives him a tiny, hopeful smile. “You wanna come up for dinner? We can talk some more.”

“That depends.” His eyes sparkle with playfulness. “Are you cooking?”

Jyn lets a bark of laughter. “I can be convinced to leave the task to you.”

“In that case, I’m right behind you.”

As he always has been.

Hiding her smile, Jyn turns and leads the way back to her apartment. She’s taken the leap, she’s chosen to fight, and she’s never been one to back down from a challenge. So screw the insidious voices whispering in her ear; she’s not going to let them win and cost her something important.

She has her cat, and she has her almost-boyfriend, and she’s ready to give this another shot.

#replies #anonymous #rebelcaptain #my fics #therebelcaptainnetwork #dailyrebelcaptain #mimi the cat #rogue one #mimi deserves a damn gold medal #she's basically their relationship therapist #she's not gonna be a child of divorce not on her watch

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