#the rest of the episode was a trainwreck but at least we got this

[animebw]

Seasonal Reflection: Winter 2024 Anime

My feelings on the first anime season of 2024 can be summed up thusly: Most of my favorite shows from winter 2024 were continuations of shows that were already great from last season, not new entries. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and there were plenty of new anime I at least enjoyed watching. But it became clear about halfway through the season that aside from a couple fall 2023 holdovers, there was barely anything truly exciting going on here. Most of the adaptations I watched didn't do much to truly elevate their source material, and most of the few original series we got ended up the worst of the bunch. I can't say nothing good came out of winter 2024, but if this is any sign of how the rest of the year is gonna go, we may be in for a slog. For now, though, let's take stock of the anime I watched this season, and which ones are worth your time.

Metallic Rouge: 3/10

If you asked me what the worst show I finished this season would be at the start, I never would've guessed Metallic Rouge. I mean, it's a cool-ass original sci-fi anime from Bones with slick 2D mecha animation, surely that's gotta be at least a little cool, right? Sadly, no. Because this is, without question, one of the most baffling scripts I've ever seen in anime. Almost every single detail of its world and plot are barely explained, if at all, and the mechanics of what's even supposed to be going on are so nebulous that every attempt at a plot twist feels like a twist on something that never actually existed. Characters are plopped into the story without even an introduction. At times it feels like whole scenes have been cut out entirely. The only thing I can compare it to is the original Suicide Squad movie from 2016: a story so cut to the bone in the editing room that you can barely tell what's supposed to be happening half the time, and yet enough of the original story remains to suggest it was never any good in the first place. The one thing it gets right is the prickly chemistry between its two leads, and then it fucking keeps them separated for like half the damn runtime! How do you even unforced error that badly?

Bucchigiri: 3.5/10

Man, this was not a good season for original anime. Bucchigiri might not have been as staggering a writing trainwreck as Metallic Rouge, but its sin is arguably even worse; it's boring. It's a wacky, colorful high school delinquent romp with rainbow-haired Jojo's punks beating the snot out of each other with genie powers, it's sort of a re-imagining of Aladdin, it's got freaking Hiroko Utsumi at the helm, and it's boring. Why? Because this show gets absolutely stuck in the quicksand of its own status quo and refuses to budge an inch. Character growth is nonexistent, the protagonist is an aggravating loser wimp who never learns his lesson, and nothing of actual meaning happens from the first episode to the end. Literally everything you think is setting up a character arc where someone learns a lesson or grows as a person, all of it amounts to nothing. It's a limp, inert world that perpetuates the same overdone jokes and contrived, misunderstanding-based drama over and over again until all the outsized Utsumi visual personality feels like a tacky coat thrown on top of a lifeless corpse. What an utter waste.

Urusei Yatsura Season 2 (1st Cours): 5/10

I'm still not quite sure what to make of the Urusei Yatsura remake. is it charmingly dated? Annoyingly dated? A welcome throwback or a sign that some things should stay in the past? If nothing else, it never fails to get at least a couple chuckles out of me every episode. But the more it tries to lean into being actually sincere, the more its inherent cheesiness and lack of depth starts becoming a problem. I'm sorry, this cast of characters is just too abrasive and purposefully insane to take seriously, and none of their relationships are healthy enough to unironically root for. Lum and Ataru are not a couple I want to see actually get together, at least not unless Ataru stops being such a fucking shithead. And if him being a jackass could be charming in season 1, then this season is really starting to test my patience with him. It's one thing to be a serial skirt chaser, but his actions this season regularly cross a line from womanizing to unambiguous sex pest, and there's only so many wooden mallets he can get knocked over the head with before it stops feeling like like he's getting punished as much as he deserves to be.

Undead Unluck (2nd Cours): 5/10

Good news, everyone: Undead Unluck finally gave up on those awful groping gags that were ruining its central romance! Bad news: at the same time, it spontaneously developed one of the worst cases of recap padding I've ever seen! I'm not just talking overlong recap segments at the start of the episode, I'm talking constant flashbacks to events we just saw just moments before, straight up playing the same footage again just minutes apart, all climaxing in a truly unforgivable episode that spends seven goddamn minutes on recycled footage. Not even Tokyo Revengers was this bad with its time-wasting. And to add insult to injury, once it finally gets its feet unstuck and returns to a reasonable amount of recap for the final arc, it's probably the best arc of the entire show! It's some of the most bonkers high-concept emotional storytelling I've ever seen attempted, let alone pulled off so spectacularly. It's proof that there is so much brilliance to Undead Unluck, if it could just get out of its own way. But as long as it continues suffering from such massive systemic flaws, it's only ever going to be an also-ran.

Solo Leveling: 5.5/10

Okay, look; is this show dumb as a bag of rocks? Absolutely. Is it as nakedly an adolescent power fantasy as any anime has ever been? Ditto. Does it solely exist for dweeby incels to feel like swaggering douchebag chads getting revenge on all the normies who looked down on them by becoming The Bestest Strongest Chadliest Awesomest Of All Time? You know it. But god dammit, it's actually fun. I cannot pretend I'm too mature and sophisticated to enjoy a big, helping heaping of dumb edgy schlock when it's actually done well. I'm the one person on the face of the earth who still caries water for Akame ga Kill, for crying out loud. And Solo Leveling makes two really smart storytelling choices that keep it (mostly) on the entertaining side of dumb fun: building a genuinely interesting and intricate world that exists well beyond the scope of the protagonist's actions (for now, at least), and making sure that no matter how stupidly overpowered Jinwoo gets, his opponents are always just a little bit even more stupidly overpowered, so he's still pushed to his absolute breaking point and barely scraping together a win by the skin of his teeth every time. There is an art to edge that's too often taken for granted, and this show is proof that being the living embodiment of a twelve-year-old boy's wet dreams is no excuse not to be at least a decent version of that. That said, let's be real, Jinwoo was so much more attractive before his supposed glow-up. Give my boy back his scraggly rat locks, you cowards.

Bang Brave Bang Bravern: 6/10

What happens when a campy, cartoony 70s-style super robot anime crashes headfirst into a much grittier real robot anime? Well, what happens is Bang Brave Bang Bravern, the latest ten-car pileup of mismatched genres from the Cygames masterminds behind "What if horse racing but idols?" Take a desperate war story of survival against impossible odds, airdrop a skyscraper-sized superhero into the mix, and watch him completely shatter the original tone one cheekily ironic powerup and power-of-friendship speech at a time. It's a beautifully bonkers sendup of mecha tropes that has some of the funniest individual moments in this entire anime season, and the absolutely wild twist it pulls with the titular robot's identity in the back half is more than worth the price of admission on its own. Unfortunately, if it wanted to be as perfect a parody-until-it-isn't mecha series as Akiba Maid War was a parody-until-it-isn't mob flick, it probably should've tried being as long as most mecha series tend to be, i.e. more than just twelve measly episodes. There's just not enough time to develop any of the characters or world beyond the most essential parts, resulting in huge chunks of the supporting cast hanging around with nothing to do but take up space. And it leads to this show, which is trying to be so big and over the top, instead feeling so small and half-formed. Also, the secondary romance is gross. Like, really gross.

A Sign of Affection: 6/10

I think this show has helped clarify something for me: I'm really getting tired of how quickly modern romance anime get their main couple together. As much as we rag on the endless will-they-won't-they of ages past, taking so much time to build up the characters and their relationship before they finally make it official can result in some truly one-of-a-kind storytelling when done right. I might agonize over how long Sawako and Kuronoma take to get together in Kimi ni Todoke, but the payoff is so transcendent that none of those complaints matter. Whereas Yuki and Itsuomi getting together so quickly in A Sign of Affection... I mean, they're cute, I guess? His cool demeanor plays off her sincerity very well? But it feels like the show's in such a rush to get to the good stuff- and so determined to make Istuomi the dreamiest, most perfect boyfriend ever- that it skips over so much of the careful character-building that makes all the best anime romances so special. It's a sugary sweet confection, but wipe the frosting away and there's just not that much cake underneath. Honestly, I find the side characters a lot more interesting because they're allowed to have messy internal conflicts with a bit more meat on their bones. But hey, props for putting a deaf heroine at the center of your shoujo romance and taking so much time to explore how that affects the way she interacts with the world. That's a cause well worth celebrating.

Sengoku Youko: 6.5/10

Rejoice, everyone, we finally have an adaptation of a Satoshi Mizukami work that doesn't look like absolute garbage! After the flaming disaster that was Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer's barely animated hackjob production, Sengoku Youko has arrived to give the cult fave manga artist a chance for his work to actually shine on the silver screen. As someone who only knows him through Planet With, I've always wondered if Mizukami deserved the reputation his manga gets, and with White Fox delivering as tight and intense a production as they gave Re:Zero, I guess it's time to finally find out. And the answer is... mostly? Like, the biggest problems in this sci-fi/feudal fantasy mashup are the characters being a little too eager to state the themes out loud and one pretty crummy death that's about as hamfisted and over-telegraphed as I've seen in a while. But there's a shockingly gripping narrative underlying it all, a story about the scars trauma leaves on people, of characters making bad decisions and facing real consequences for them, of hatred and poisonous ideology forced to reckon with the more complex reality of the world as a whole. And it all climaxes in an absolute barn-burner final episode that knocked my score up a half point all on its own. If future seasons can make good on all the potential this first season has set up, then I may just end up a Mizukami fan myself when all is said and done.

Blue Exorcist Season 3: 6.5/10

I'm of two minds about Blue Exorcist's second return after a six-year gap between seasons. On one hand, it's clear the new staff is just nowhere near as talented as the folks who first brought this series to life at A-1 Pictures. The action is abysmal, the storyboarding is clunky, and the animation feels like it's constantly fighting for its life to maintain a passable standard. And it sucks that a series that once brought such great life to its story is now held back by such a mediocre production. But on the other hand... holy fuck, am I glad Blue Exorcist is back. I once described The Devil is a Part-Timer as the mathematical average of anime as a concept, but if you were to ask me what the best possible version of that mathematical average looks like? It would be Blue Exorcist. This is, hands down, one of the best straightforward shonen action stories in the whole medium, a reminder of why all the most generic and overused tropes were once powerful enough to become generic and overused in the first place. It's proof that even the simplest of "superpowered teens kick demon butt with the power of friendship" concepts can result in a wonderful goddamn series when handled with good old-fashioned storytelling fundamentals. And not even the rough-as-hell production is enough to keep season 3 from delivering on the thrills, tears, laughs, and cheers that make this series so magical. Just, please, give the next season more time in the oven so it doesn't feel like it's wading through molasses to hit those heights. Okay?

Delicious in Dungeon (1st Cours): 7/10

Delicious in Dungeon's biggest problem is that it takes a while to really settle into itself. The opening scene of the protagonist's sister being devoured by a dragon sets the tone for an intense and desperate rescue mission, but the actual series that follows this harrowing opening is as lackadaisical as can be. And it's jarring to be thrust into a gag-filled, character-driven fantasy cooking comedy where the harsh tone of that opening scene and the ticking clock of Falin's digestion completely disappear from the characters' heads in favor of how beast to cook and eat the various fantasy monsters they encounter in the dungeon. Yes, it makes a little more sense once the mechanics of death and resurrection are explained later on, but it's a weird note to start on. Which is a shame, because once Delicious in Dungeon gets a handle on what kind of story it's trying to be, it's really fun! Its sense of deadpan comedy coupled with Trigger's expressive animation makes for some really unexpected gags, and the way it explores its fantasy cuisine is genuinely some of the most creative stuff I've ever seen in the cooking anime genre. Plus, with the dark tone coming back in at the end of the first cours- and landing much more naturally this time- I have high hopes for how this series will marry those two sides of itself moving forward. If the manga fans' reactions are any indication, I think we're in for a damn good time.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (2nd Cours): 8/10

So remember in my last post how I said that it was kind of disappointing whenever Frieren turned into an action show because of how disconnected the fights were from the beating heart that makes this show so special? Well, apparently the writers heard me and decided what I meant was I wanted this peaceful, meditative tale about grief, change and the passage of time to turn into the goddamn Hunter Exams for ten episodes straight. It's one of the most shockingly ill-advised storytelling swerves I've seen in an otherwise good show, discarding all this series' strengths in favor of a half-baked tournament arc with tonally jarring grimdark elements and a bland, overstuffed cast of characters who only start becoming interesting in the rare moments they're allowed to stop slinging spells at each other and just, like, talk about life? You know, the stuff that Frieren's actually good at? Not this brainless slice of shonen envy that only avoids being a complete slog thanks to how spectacular the action is across the board? Ugh. Look, Frieren is officially the most beloved anime on the goddamn planet right now, and its best moments are so incredible that I wish I could join that chorus as well. But it's so disappointing to me that a show this singular and special has so often chosen to be the least interesting version of itself.

The Dangers in My Heart Season 2: 8.5/10

It's official: director Hiroaki Akagi is the master of middle school rom-coms. No other creator so perfectly grasps the specific blend of immaturity, awkwardness, cringe, and heart-on-sleeve sincerity that defines the love stories of early adolescence. That was already clear with his work on Teasing Master Takagi-san, but now that he's pulled it off twice, there's no room left for argument. And just like with Takagi-san, the second season of The Dangers in My Heart takes a show that was already shockingly good and catapults it into all-time greatness. This is a coming-of-age triumph, a soaring tribute to embracing your own cringeworthy self, flaws and all, and sharing that self openly with the people who matter most to you. Ichikawa's journey toward maturity, Yamada's journey toward self-love, and the way their romance sparks the best in both of them is the stuff that dreams are made of. I laughed, I cried, I squealed like a little girl, and I felt my heart grow three sizes by the time it was done. This is a new gold standard for anime rom-coms, and if you can stomach a bit of groanworthy fanservice, it more than deserves your attention.

The Apothecary Diaries (2nd Cours): 8.5/10

Most of the time when I cover a two-cours show on these seasonal reflections, I end up in a pretty different place by the end of the second cours than I did at the first. Either it sort of fell apart in the second half, or found its footing and took it to the next level, or it changed in some interesting way that affects how I view the show as a whole. But The Apothecary Diaries has stayed the course from the first episode all the way to the end. Start to finish, it's remained pretty much the same show, with the same ideas and attitude, exploring the same themes in the same ways. And you know what? When you're as good as The Apothecary Diaries ended up being, there's nothing wrong with that. This is a spectacular historical drama that builds such a rich, compelling world for its equally rich, compelling characters to inhabit. It's a powerful exploration of how old society treated the disadvantaged- women, poor people, people with all severities of disability- and how one deeply abnormal girl carves her way through this viper's den with her body and soul intact. It's the kind of mature, thoughtful series we so rarely seen done this well, and with the announcement of a season 2 already confirmed, we may well end up with close to 50 episodes when all is said and done. That, folks, is what a true shoujo/josei renaissance looks like. And I'm so happy such a deserving series is leading the way in reminding us how damn good women's stories can be when they're given a chance to shine this brightly.

DROPPED

Cherry Magic: Dropped at 2 episodes for looking like butt and the central romance feeling pretty lifeless.

High Card Season 2: Dropped at 1 episode because I realized I didn't care anymore.

Ninja Kamui: Dropped at 2 episodes for being dull tryhard edgy bullshit with overdone fight scenes that are impossible to follow.

#anime #the anime binge watcher #tabw #winter 2024 anime #winter 2024 sr #sousou no frieren #frieren: beyond journey's end #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #bucchigiri?! #undead unluck #sengoku youko #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #metallic rouge #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #a sign of affection #yubisaki to renren #the dangers in my heart #boku no kokoro no yabai yatsu #bang brave bang bravern #urusei yatsura #solo leveling #yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern #frieren

[cherry-velvet-skies]

It is time for the finale of the Beatles Era Ratings series ❤ This series was so fun I don't want it to end lol

Episode 4: Paul McCharmly 😁 And as of now all four parts are available in my Masterlist if you haven't seen the others 🥰

Archie Comics Character (Pre-Beatles Era)

Tell me he doesn't look like a 50s/60s cartoon character

Simultaneously looks 18 years old and 8 years old this kid's a fucking wizard

He has the vibe of those people who seem super cool but talk to them for too long and they get real annoying real fast

4/10 his only skill is his seemingly endless inventory of cheesy pickup lines

Petulant Schoolboy (1962)

Resting Pout Face ™️

There is a certain level of entitlement radiating from this image but we don't have time to unpack all of that

Looks the same as practically every other kid his age but still thinks he's the best looking one

5/10 is cute until he opens his mouth

Undercover Ken Doll (1963-66)

His appearance has not changed since the beginning of the Beatles

Looks identical to his Beatles cartoon counterpart and no I'm not wrong

This man is one minor inconvenience away from throwing a full-blown tantrum

6/10 though I'd be lying if I said I didn't find him the least bit adorable

Teen Caught With Fake ID (1967)

Never have I seen a real mustache look so fake in my entire life

When people who work at convenience stores tell stories of underage people who come in trying to buy alcohol, this is the people that come in

He's 25 and he looks 15 I hate it here

3/10 maybe next time don't let your LSD trip determine your facial hair pattern

Understandably Conceited (1968)

Very similar to Undercover Ken Doll but there is something different here. Something...better

Beautiful and he knows it

His eyelashes are longer than mine what the hell am I doing wrong

9/10 he's a 9 but he gatekeeps his skincare routine

McBeardy (1969-70)

Jesus Christ do I even need to say anything

The only other exception to my "I hate beards" rule

The mustache cannot stand on its own it must be accompanied by the beard

1000/10 I want him to fuck me just so I could forget about my problems for a while

No (1971)

How did we go from McBeardy to t h i s

You really thought that having beard hair longer than the hair on your head was a good idea? I think the fuck not, James.

Every time I think about Paul's style evolution I desperately try to delete this one from my memory

0/10 I actively despise this

Hot Dad at a Pool Party (1972)

Well at least the beard is gone

The title is exactly what I mean. I have no other way of describing this look

His hair is a little shorter than I feel is the ideal length for him but it's not bad

7.5/10 it's enough to make me have a crush on him, but it would be nothing more than that

Baby's First Mullet (1973)

Looks cute but also concerningly sexy

I hate that I like this but then again rockstar mullets are different than regular mullets so I have nothing to be embarrassed about

His eyes are so big how does he do that

9.5/10 if I saw him at a club I would definitely wanna sleep with him

The Eighth Circle of Hell (1974)

And we're back here again I am in AGONY

The trainwreck of a mustache ON TOP OF THE MULLET? I am at my fucking limit.

This is the face of a man who has done his fair share of cocaine

12598347/10 I had it at a 2.5/10 at first and the only reason I changed it is because there is some sick twisted part of me that's attracted to this and maybe that's why I'm so angry about it. I thought about my rating overnight and ended up having a dream that we fucked and he looked like this and it was so hot. My affinity for skrunkly men is one that both comforts and deeply disturbs me.

Mullet Yoyo (1975-78)

No matter how long or short the mullet got it never left

At least the mustache is gone I can't take having to face my most embarrassing turn-ons anymore

To be honest he somehow looks more unhinged with just the mullet

7.5/10 my brain doesn't like it as much without the facial hair oh my god Cherry what the FUCK is wrong with you

Intermission (1979-80)

It's not that I don't like this. I just really have nothing much to say about it

Sort of a middle ground in between the chaotic energy from the 70s and the dilf energy of the 80s

He looks handsome I'll give him that

7/10 I certainly have nothing to complain about

Give My Regards to Dilf Street (1981-85)

Oh shit here we go

His hair got longer and none of us knew how to act

When I say I watch the Broad Street movie for the plot, this is the plot

3000/10 this man is a frequent visitor of my sexual fantasies

Warden at Horny Jail (1986)

I'm- 🥴

Nobody talk to me

This is the epitome of dilf energy it's not even a competition

36459871/10 please just fuck me already

Questionable Choices (1987-88)

He cut his hair I am in shambles

Paul why

He doesn't look bad but obviously the long hair is way better

5/10 I don't hate it but my heart belongs to another

The Swan is Gliding (1989-97)

The dilf haircut is back thank god

Paul you have redeemed yourself

He looks unbelievably sexy but for some reason it's missing something that he had in '86 and I don't know what it is- oH MY GOD HE DYED HIS HAIR THAT'S WHAT IT IS

1000000/10 it's still one of my faves but COME ON PAUL YOU'RE A DILF FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU NEED TO EMBRACE YOUR GRAY HAIR YOU'RE A SILVER FOX BABE PLEASE

Time Traveler (1998-2003)

He started looking real old real quick

But of course I will not be harsh with this era because I know it was a super tough one for him

I know all too well that when you're super stressed out, your appearance is the furthest thing from your mind

5/10 honestly he just looks like a typical guy in his sixties so there's nothing to bash anyway 😊❤

Lead Role in a CBS Crime Drama (2004-10)

This pic just gives me NCIS/Criminal Minds cast photo vibes idk

Again I mean this in the best way possible but he looks like just some guy and there's nothing wrong with that

A suit will always be sexy to me though

8/10 I have a certain appreciation for this one

Main Character Energy (2011-16)

This era of Paul was the moment

His hair is longer again and yes I do think he looks very sexy

A majority of the music he released in this era is just *chef's kiss*

10/10 this photo is from the promo for the NEW album which fucking slaps btw it's honestly one of my favorite albums from his solo career

Hey Grandude (2017-19)

I'm sorry I just had to name it that I think him using it for a children's book title is too cute

The gray hair is coming back and I very much do think it suits him

This is not so much "just some guy" but more like "a guy who aged beautifully"

9/10 if you told me he was approaching 80 years old I would not believe you

Eternal Rockstar (2020-Present Day)

Oh my god shUT UP

I have to say dilf. Do I have to say dilf? I feel like I have to say dilf

Don't dye your hair anymore babe you don't need it

10000/10 I had to choose this photo it taunts me too much 🥵

#1974 gave me an existential crisis that i would like to never experience again dear lord #I saved Paul's for last because I knew it was going to cause me the most emotional damage #Out of all things I had to prepare myself for...having to accept the fact that I'm down bad for an 80 year old man was not one of them #paul mccartney #james paul mccartney #the beatles #beatles #george harrison #ringo starr #john lennon

[knightsofsomethingorother]

Right so. Before ANYTHING... you need to see the intro to this show.

Let it sink in. Bask in it. Writhe in it.

Okay now that that's out of the way, our story starts with a stupidly long and slow 'battle' between these dudes...

And Camelot which only has 3 people in it.

Merlin, Womanlady, and Guinevere. Anyway Guinevere's kidnapped by a bird man. Roll with it.

He knocks Merlin over and then everyone fucks off.

What, did you expect more? That's what happens. THAT'S ALL THAT FUCKING HAPPENS. YOU DON'T GET MORE.

So anyway, the question is... where the fuck is everybody. And there's an answer. Turns out Arthur and the Questy Boys all got locked in the... Let me check my notes here... 'Cave of Glass'. What is that? I don't know! I hope we find out though.

Anyway.

Merlin monologues at the round table for a wee bit, filling the audience in on all of that, then Nimue shows up, tells him what to do and then he reaches through time to summon... reincarnations..? Alternate versions..? A group of Dudes where two people are named 'Arthur' and 'Lance'. Some destiny something I don't really care about. But what do I care about?

AMERICAN FOOT BAAALLLLLL!

AMERICAN FOOTBALL.

So number 12 up there who just scored the Winning Touchdown there is Arthur. Or new Arthur, at least. His name is Arthur King and I am dead on the inside. He's the special boy, I'm to assume.

Anyway they win the game and then this group of VERY CLEARLY HIGH SCHOOL BOYS drive a BUS on their OWN to NEW YORK CITY.

In this bus we get to see the rest of the team.

So uh... This came out in '92. There is a Single Asian Character and Two Black Characters. We will see how well the series treats them but so far the Asian guy has talked once and he's a nerd who likes Museum and only one of the black guys has spoken and his name is 'Tone' and he talks like a black guy named tone in a 1990s cartoon would talk so... Hopes aren't high.

Anyway this UNSUPERVISED FOOT BALL TEAM OF HIGH SCHOOL BOYS DRIVING A BUS ON THEIR LONESOME are 100 miles from New York and a storm is moving in. Arthur King (hghghhg) tells the kid driving to take a shortcut he just so happens to know.

Sidenote. This is my favorite guy. I've decided already. This is also a good time to say that aside from Arthur and Lance there are no other allusions to actual Knights of the Round Table. Not even indirectly. Thank CHRIST.

Anyway they eat shit and fall down a cliff for like 3 full minutes and end up in Camelot.

I need to say that I WISH I knew how to make Youtube Poops because this is a fucking GOLDMINE. Every other line read is just... Mwah. Perfection. They don't sound human. They sounds like AI before AI was a thing.

So they end up in Camelot. Get some new clothes. Merlin sends them to fight some guys. They're down with it and don't really object. They fight some guys. All the while the football boys are talking about AMERICAN GODDAMN FOOTBAAAAALLLLL. The end.

Sound rushed? That's because it is! This is a clunky trainwreck and if I was a wee bab in the year 1992 I wouldn't be interested in this at all. The only character I like thus far is Bus Boy who I will call Bus Boy from here on out because I refuse to use his actual name who is the only Guy with like... a likeable personality (so far). His voice actor is also doing a really good job and that does go a long way. The football team just kind of accept shit immediately with little pushback and that's just not compelling. Plus most of the runtime is dedicated to Merlin expositing stuff at us. It's not over-the-top campy and it's not FUN. At least not yet. They've got 25 more episodes to be fun.

Also is this design for one of the baddies racist?

Yeah so in summary 2 AMERICAN FOOTBALLS out of 5

#bohbot #KA:TKJ #old cartoon review #arthurian shitposting #long post #Youtube

[samuraiko]

C3E37 episode feelings (SPOILERS AHOY)

(YOU KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW)

(LIKE SERIOUSLY DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY THIS AGAIN)

(ABANDON ALL BITCHING, YE WHO ENTER HERE)

What.

An.

EPISODE!

Oh my gods... from the DARK CITY vibes of the shadow of Whitestone (FYI, if you have never seen DARK CITY, you absolutely should, it’s a fantastic film) to those bittersweet glimpses into Laudna’s life in Whitestone. The whole thing had this nightmarishly disjointed feeling that was just so well-suited for what was going on, and that’s BEFORE shit got real!

Oh wow. The bargaining. The threatening. The all-too-brief hope spot of Marisha... and then, THEN we get that whoooooooooole clusterfuck at the nega-Sun Tree.

And *EVEN* with them missing out on a much-needed short rest, *EVEN* with dice rolls going against them like 75% of the time (although PRAISE THE GODS AND ALL THE SAINTS that the Catha die was there for Orym when he really needed it), *EVEN* with two party members getting bampfed into the ether (and no real certainty that they would wake up afterward)...

... even with *ALL* of that...

... they STILL pulled off the most abso-fucking-lutely skin-of-their-teeth this-is-one-for-the-annals-of-history battles in all of Critical Role.

AND THEN FUCKING MATTHEW MERCER CALLS THE FUCKING EPISODE THERE?!

Anyway.

Moments that just absolutely did it for me because I always notice these things.

The absolute trainwreck of an intro that STARTS the episode. One for the ages.

THE NEW LOGO! I LOVE IT! PUT THAT ON A T-SHIRT SO I CAN BUY IT!

Mad props to Liam, Taliesin, and Travis especially for such perfectly in-character EMOTIONAL reactions to everything. Orym *begging* Laudna to walk in the sun with them one more time. Ashton desperately trying to convince Imogen not to waste time on what can’t be changed and to focus on what CAN. Chetney once again pulling out the Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass side of his personality.

And seeing the three dads at the table reflexively CRINGING when Delilah made that “do you know what I do to children” comment. (Especially Liam.) Oh... I felt that through my computer monitor.

Fearne and Imogen trying frantically not to panic as Delilah starts chasing them down. (Though I swear to Christ, Laura, you do that high-pitched obnoxious squeal one more time and I will reach through the internet and slam you upside the head with your own dice bag, which probably does at least 3d8 bludgeoning damage. Sorry, but when you have hearing problems to begin with, that was almost KAFOOM INSTANT MIGRAINE.)

The looks of utter LOATHING on all of the cast’s faces when Delilah opens her mouth.

(Contrasted by the cast’s looks of utter GLEE when Matt comes out with the map.)

#critical role #campaign 3 #bells hells #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers

[inukag]

Moroha’s Dream | Yashahime Ep. 8

#inuyasha #inuyashaedit #yashahime #hanyo no yashahime #hny #hnyedit #Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #hanyou no yashahime #inukag #moroha #inukagmor #mygifs** #yashahime spoilers #KAGOME HIGURASHI!! BEST MOST BEAUTIFUL MOM IN THE WORLD #the fact that they talked about having a boy or a girl!!!!! #CRUMBS BUT I'LL TAKE IT #the rest of the episode was a trainwreck but at least we got this

[poguesgold]

how did you feel about season? i know most people liked it better than season 1 but i’m not sure how i feel yet🤔 might need to rewatch it

okay this ended up soooo long so i'm giving a tl;dr review here and if anyone cares to read my insanely long thought dump you can feel free. this part is spoiler free also!!

cons: i think they should have further developed the s1 storyline rather than conjuring up an entirely new treasure and conflict; i don't think they did the characters justice a lot of the time, particularly kie and jj; too much yelling and running not enough hanging out; the finale cliff hanger was a stupid writing choice

pros: cleo!!; pope-centric plotline!!!; amazing jjpope moments in the improv sequences; never a boring moment; rafebarry oh my god????; neck kiss shirtless wrestling holding hands standing unnecessarily close jjpope rot; just a straight up nine hour long adrenaline rush and i love that shit.

overall: i definitely did not like it more than s1, but i still REALLY loved it. i think it's worth the watch, just don't go into it expecting good writing or realistic injuries or a comprehensive plot LMFAO. what saves the season is the pogues' chemistry and their improv sequences, for real. and cleo. you WILL get angry about the shitty script and characterization if you’re really invested in that part of things, but as far as vibes and dopamine high it was awesome. it was a fun watch and i'll definitely rewatch at least once to soak it in properly

please this is going to be soooo long i apologize in advance. but i have a lot of thoughts. also ⚠️⚠️spoilers ahead!!⚠️⚠️

most of this review is going to be criticisms tbh so sorry for that but this show kinda sucks (affectionately<3)

i thought season 2 was an absolute TRAINWRECK as far as writing goes. jonas pate was basically like. this season we're going to have an even BIGGER and BETTER treasure!!! but the exact same thing is going to happen. like. we already had gold. and that's what they were going to the bahamas for at the end of season 1 for anyway????? it would have been so easy to just develop the original storyline further, i just cannot figure out why they would completely abandon it for another mediocre storyline. (i LOVED that this other mediocre storyline was pope-centric and the main character energy he was given this season. but. they. could have done that?? with the first storyline?????)

i hate that they brought big john back so so much. SO much. literally it was the stupidest most idiotic lazy cheesy plot choice in the world. it doesn't make sense, we like saw his literal bones at one point like his lifeless corpse, and WHY would they bring back a key character from the PREVIOUS ARC when they created an ENTIRELY NEW CONFLICT AND PLOTLINE FOR THIS SEASON???? jonas pate stuck it in for shock value and cliff hanger in hopes of securing a season 3, and i hate him for it. he's such a terrible writer white men have it so easy

someone in the neck kiss truthers discord earlier pointed out that jb's dead father returning after like a year and a half of thinking he was dead would probably be more traumatic that healing at this point, and i agree so much. also, you know that they're not going to use it for good either way. they're going to use his dad coming back as a way to further traumatize him somehow because obx writers are jombeephobic. and i wouldn't put it past them to bring him back just to kill him off again. jonas pate wants to write john b torture porn and i am TIRED of it

my least favorite thing about season 2 was the characterization. they really did just disregard the characters they created in season 1. kie was completely ooc for like three episodes, and it wasn't because she was mourning. it was just shitty writing. she had no character outside of her relationships this season, which has been my fear from the very beginning and why i have never wanted kie with any of the pogues. season 2 diminished her character to the female love interest, and that just sucked so bad for her.

whether you're a jjpope or not, season 2 completely changed their friendship dynamic. the only time we got glimpses of the season 1 jjpope dynamic was in the improv sequences when rudy and jd took it upon themselves. also during their hugs LMFAO. which is also an acting choice. the writing completely disregarded their friendship and dynamic. it was weird as fuck it was all weird. i also hated that kie and sarah's scripted interactions were just them talking about boys. another case of friendships again being completely disregarded for the cishet relationships. 

i just really feel like all of the characters were handled poorly this season, which is crazy because literally ALL we asked for was backstory and character development and pogue screentime. but jonas pate instead decided to write ten episodes of nonstop running and yelling and fuckinf adrenaline, with an ooc script. for funsies

i feel like the magic of season 1 was lost. the vibe of season 1 that makes it so comforting and rewatchable and lovely is sort of just lost in all the silly plot. we see snatches of it here and there, but they feel crammed between unnecessary action scenes and stunts and shouting when we would have been happy with ten episodes of the pogues hanging out in each other's bedrooms.

NOW IM GOING TO TALK THINGS I LIKED OKAY OKAY

i seriously DID love watching it. we pulled an all nighter in the neck truthers discord and binged the entire season and the adrenaline of that kept me going for the rest of the week. it was literally fucking insane absolutely batshit and i LOVED it. the writing was horrible but like. it's obx we know it isn't good LMFAOO. it's part of the charm

i definitely don't like it more than s1, but i did still like it a lot. i LOVED how pope centric it was, like he fr had such main character energy this season and it was wonderful. even though the storyline was weird and didn't make sense jd did so well lolol he did so wonderfully. i loved seeing pope get the attention he deserves this season.

JJPOPE MOMENTS. i was definitely sad they didn't have an arc to themselves like they did season 1, but oh my god jd and rudy FED US with jjpope improv moments this season. the NECK KISS? the WRESTLING? every single one of their hugs?????? they're insane. it sucked that they really didn't have any scenes alone but we take what we can get.

SPEAKING OF GAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT RAFEBARRY. because?? oh my god??? first season it was like a crack ship and then season 2 came out and... what are we supposed to do ignore it? they are literally??? gay????? it's jarring they're insane. i am so so invested in them it's kind of unreal how deep i got into this ship in such a short amount of time (follow @rafebarry babies <33)

cleo. i love cleo. the best new thing to come out of this season for sure. clarah is coming strong i can feel it and i am SO ready. i know that they're most likely going to move toward a cleopope romance next season, which i don't hate? i'm bothered only because a) it's obvious it's mostly being done to get pope out of the way for jiara, and b) i think people often push two dark-skinned characters into a ship just because they're both dark-skinned, and that yucks me out. but i will say i really liked their moments together in s2 and i think they could be really good together if they're canon s3 (which they probably will be.)

overall like. it was a fun watch. i retained like 2% of the plot i was just there for the vibes and dopamine high and that was totally fine. i want to take the pogues out of jonas pate’s greedy little white man fingers and give them the character and relationship development they deserve, but we can’t have it all i guess. the cinematography this season i think i liked better than season 1, wasn’t a huge fan of that weird yellow filter tho. also the lighting. obx lighting guys get demoted challenge. umm yeah season 1 supremacy but season 2 had amazing vibes

#jesus clearly i haven't talked about this enough yet #send in other asks if you want i'm absolutely insane #sorry if there's typos i am not reading through this again #if i'm incoherent you'll just have to deal #asks #s2 asks

[sanstropfremir]

kingdom episode 3 baby!!!!

listen. i’m not gonna lie i was nervous as hell for this episode. i saw that preview like everyone else and unfortunately i have ears so i was convinced the ateez stage was going to be a trainwreck. i was absolutely banking on sf9 and skz to do something even mildy interesting to save me from the ear damage and having to talk to extensively about why that disaster happened. but somehow i woke up in an alternate universe and you know what? with the exception of that high note the ateez stage fucked. i know. i don’t believe it either. i think i’m still in shock.

i’ll do individual breakdowns in order of favourites within the episode and then at the end i’ll put my personal ranking of all six. thank god i don’t have to do a stage breakdown again; if they change it again for next week i will scream.

ateez

a miracle happened. i don’t have to fight any of the staff at kq. i don’t understand either. jongho is so fucking lucky that the rest of the group pulled all that energy out of their asses because if they had been even a single iota less serious about it that stage would have flopped worse than a dead fish. i can’t believe we got this level of camp b movie schlock in the first full stage, and they stuck the landing. incredible.

fine i’ll address the elephant in the room. personally, i don’t think jongho is that good of a vocalist. he’s not bad, and he does have the potential to be a good vocalist, he just doesn’t have the training, and this is the issue with all of ateez. hanya talked about this before and i’ll say it again: he can’t switch to his head voice and he’s destroying his vocal cords by attempting to hit notes in his mid range that he should just jump to head voice for. frankly i’m surprised he got anywhere close to that note in his mid, but his technique is just not there and he’s gonna do some real damage to his voice if he doesn’t take a break and also get a good vocal coach. you can already hear the degradation in sound from their debut stage to now, and that’s in less than three years. ok i’m done talking about vocals that’s hanya’s turf, i’m pretending that that high note doesn’t exist and we’re moving on. also im in love with btob’s reaction it was fucking priceless.

costume

look, i have a one track brain and that brain can only think about seonghwa corset. seonghwa corset? seonghwa corset.

i know it’s not a real corset nor is it properly laced and i know this would never happen in a million years but a kpop mr pearl trend? i would die. just fully expire. there’s no coming back from that for me

yes i have laced boys into proper corsets before and yes it is as hot as you think it is (when it’s not work related, obviously)

ok now that i’ve got that out of my system for the moment, the costumes are actually pretty good. i’m a little obsessed with hongjoong’s coat although I know it’s stupid. fur? always, I love it, you’ll never change my mind it makes everything better. i own a lot of it and i wear it all the time. this is also a pretty good example of how to do a more modern styling within a very specific and recognizable genre.

i don’t hate the backup dancers’ costumes either, even though they would look a lot better in a not-pirate themed hiphop stage. because there is already a modern tint with the boys’ costumes, it’s not that much of a leap to the dancers, and they actually use the dancers and the camera really strategically to not put much focus on them.

the only real standout issue is the blacklight/contortionist moment, which is too gimmicky for me and doesn’t fit the rest of the theme. i do understand the purpose of them: you need a transition point from the upper deck to the more fantastical inner ship area, and blacklight paint is a really easy, cheap, and fast way to get four new costumes instantly. do i think they could have done something better though? yes.

set

this was actually a smart reuse of that pirate ship set. i know i clowned on them in the first stage that they could move on from the pirate gimmick but honestly? i’m glad they didn’t. this was fun as fuck. but also two stages was enough you can move on now.

i love how they actually used the weird double stage function that the false prosc creates for an actual architectural and narrative effect, instead of just sort of operating as though it’s just another place to travel just because you can. we are on the deck of the ship, and then we go inside the ship. it’s simple and effective. you don’t need to do a crazy amount of crossover to establish a dynamic sense of place.

i hate the ateez kingdom logo. i hate the ateez logo in general. get it out of there, at least you could have made something more fun and pirate themed.

would have loved to have seen them return to the hourglass at the end, especially if they got one that was specifically set for 4 minutes. would have been a nice bit of symmetry but i suspect it was struck before the kraken bit.

the kraken bit??? i was not at all expecting that and honestly? dope as hell. that big tentacle is just a custom inflatable santa claus that you see around christmastime and what a brilliant use of such a simple mechanic, especially to have it come through that weird little triangle arch they have upstage. smart way to use the existing architecture.

yes it is a gimmick but here’s why it works rather than just looks tacky like every other gimmick we’ve seen so far: it had a function within the narrative. this is so important. show us there’s a reason it’s there!

lighting

i didn’t love it but they did actually make some smart choices. the outer deck is warmer toned and has some good atmospheric effects, and the inner deck is cold tone and specifically lit with pin lights to imitate the light coming through portholes in an actual ship, which is so smart thank you lighting designer

also a very clear arc with the lighting, blue -> orange -> blue/red -> orange/multiple -> blue

sound

i actually kinda liked this remix? it fit theme and had a very clear dramatic arc. also i like wonderland, so sue me.

staging

WE DID IT, WE FINALLY GOT A CLEAR NARRATIVE FROM AT LEAST ONE GROUP! wonderland was actually a great choice for them because it’s a really good indicator of exactly how hungry they are. i was a bit worried that it would fall flat because it kinda rides on mingi but they actually pulled it off. i have literally no idea where they pulled all that energy from but holy shit you can practically lick the attitude off the screen. i’m also very impressed by the amount of information they managed to fit into that four minute narrative. we had a full conflict/climax/resolution, as well as a really clear understanding of the tenacity and drive of the group, as well as the desire to support one another in achieving their goals. bravo.

ok so like i said in the set section, they used that pirate ship bridge really effectively to create two different but connected spaces. this is a really smart way to make it seem like you have two spaces while having to only build one set. it was also one of the best ways to utilize this dumbass stage so it doesn’t just look like you’re running arbitrarily from area to area because you can.

also levels! levels are so important for staging but also hard to do in this context because you have to be able to move really quickly in and out of full group formation, but I think they did a really good job here.

continued point: the kraken arm worked because it was the conflict they needed to overcome in the narrative, so it had a function within the performance. also related: all the tricking and jumping also served a purpose within the narrative too. it was either used for fighting (yeosang kicking all those dancers on beat) or a demonstration of teamwork (jongho flinging yunho around on the floor). also frankly excellent use of choreographic formation with the backup dancers, each formation had a specific function and was meant to highlight ateez without being overbearing.

not a whole lot of camera choreo, but a fairly good long take at the beginning and the editing wasn’t too obnoxious which I think was more chance than intent, but i’m not gonna look a gift kraken in the beak.

sf9

i actually really liked this stage, and i really like that sf9 has established their colour as effortlessly elegant, which does set them apart from the rest of the groups. this stage was really choreographically complex and they made it seem so easy, so real props to them. however, like with ikon’s stage, there were a lot of good ideas that just weren’t followed through enough for me.

like ateez, song choice and theme were very well intertwined with this one, there was a lot of thought put into this stage. the pun with ‘jealous’ and ‘jilleosseo’ and having a fairytale/magic mirror narrative? fuckin GALAXY BRAINED. incredible. the implication that not only taeyang but the entire group is the evil queen from snow white? chef’s kiss. should have committed harder and put one of them in massive cloak à la king taemin mama 2020. instead it was subtle enough to not try to step on ateez’s schlocky camp toes but still just as serious and i love that. do i wish they pushed it farther though? also yes.

costume

not gonna lie, i had my reservations on the costumes when we saw the previews of them in the waiting room, but the thing about stage costumes is that they always look bad when not on stage. if they look good in the waiting room you’ve done something wrong. and i loved them on stage. big fan of that quilted vest/pseudo stomacher. please can we have a corset trend? y’all already adopted bondage harnesses, c’mon a little corset won’t hurt. also a good example of a modern spin on a recognizable genre.

i wish the backup dancers weren’t in all black but i am fighting single person battle against the entire entertainment industry on that one.

set

extremely simple with a few smart utilizations. had a feeling this might have been a budget thing, as it had a similar kind of vibe with ikon’s stage, but the use of the mirrors was smart and a fun device that served the purpose of the narrative.

working with mirrors on stage is really fucking hard, so kudos to them for giving it a go. for the most part it was pretty effective. especially with the combo of moving mirrors and moving lights AND moving camera, you’re kind of asking to either blind your audience or at least give them a headache. i once saw a production of the magic flute that had a rotating mirror setpiece and i swear i nearly went blind due to the constantly flashing reflections. you have to really be careful with directionality and reflection, especially with the added element of a camera. also you never use real glass mirrors on stage, it is unbelievably bad luck and theatre people are the most superstitious demographic on the fucking planet.

i kinda loved the draped gold dais. i have nothing else to say about it other than fun!

lighting

a lot of this was very weirdly lit and i’m not sure why. the quality on youtube is terrible and cameras already have trouble picking up detail in low light, and throwing a whole bunch of primary red over that (the colour with the longest wavelength and therefore disappears the easiest in the dark. also human eyes are not very good at distinguishing variations in the red spectrum) and the red costumes made it extremely difficult to tell what was happening.

i will give them props for dramatic lighting usage, especially for the two way mirror trick and for using the floor as a primary lighting source at the end, which i think groups should be using more of. how often do you have a lighting source in your floor!!! almost never!! use that opportunity!!

sound

i actually enjoyed this remix too. it was well suited to the dramatic nature of the stage. i think the sound byte at the beginning is ‘mirror mirror on the wall who’s the worthiest of them all’ but it also could be ‘who’s the worst of them all’ and that would be also fitting and kinda funny.

staging

again, not a lot of consideration for camera choreo in a meaningful way, and like the tbz stage I think the clarity in the actual choreo got hampered by the editing. because there was a lot of choreographic precision that went into making this work and it wasn’t totally obvious from the way mnet edited it.

a lot of them are actors so it works that they’re leaning more towards dramatic stages rather than the sort of performance type stages we’ve seen so far. i like this choice for them as it gives them a very obvious colour but they’re almost on the verge of making it look too easy, which does them some injustice.

next to ateez, using that long uninterrupted traverse was my favourite use of this stage. doubles as an easy way to build the atmosphere of a palace corridor/throne room with the rug, and to feed the drama of the piece.

skz

ok i have some…..things to say about this stage. so far i have not been kind to skz which makes me look like i hate them and i don’t, i promise. there were a lot of really interesting things happening in this stage and there some really successful ones, and i liked this a whole lot better than their intro stage, but their overall choreo and thematic dedication is really killing me. i’ll explain.

costume

I don’t hate them but also…….why? I got the good self vs evil self/internal struggle theme but the costumes don’t really have anything interesting to say about that. as far as modern style costuming goes i think they’re on the more interesting end, but they don’t push it far enough. there’s a few western art history visual motifs and honestly? they should have gone whole hog and whited out their faces/hair and made them look like classical sculptures. that would have been hella fun, especially with that little statue and marionette sequence, plus the shadow/leash manipulation.

this time it was actually intentional that the backup dancers were in blacks and i appreciate that.

why on EARTH did they have that ridiculous makeup that didn’t read on stage? theatre makeup and tv makeup are different, you can’t just do a light purple eyeshadow and expect to read under blue and red light. someone needs to bring an actual theatre makeup artist in and get these boys in some real crazy looks. see previous point about full-face white pancake. more extreme makeup please and thank you!

set

i liked the use of internal architecture within this massive weird stage space and they used the corridors quite well. i didn’t really like the mix of baroque scrolling and also graffiti, it wasn’t quite connected for me. this has been a common theme among this round and i think it comes from budget/props pulls rather than anything else.

also there was a distinct feeling of trying to fill the main stage space with bodies as opposed to atmosphere. this can work in some specific cases but the intent wasn’t strong enough for me. it just felt like a lot of people on stage, especially in the end choreo.

lighting

the general lighting was fine but not particularly inspired. the low light in the beginning was actually quite well done, especially combined with the fog, but in my opinion was not dramatic enough. you have a pseudo art history theme happening, pump that contrast and push the chiaroscuro!

ok stay with me, i’m gonna say something extremely controversial that might actually get me cancelled. s*per j*unior’s burn the floor did everything this stage was trying to do on a smaller scale and better. look i know ok, this is a like, a double atom bomb hot take. just forget everything you know about them and watch the performance video. tell me that’s not some of the most interesting choreo you’ve seen in kpop. if you’re going to work with practical light you need to COMMIT. not just steal the solar lanterns out of my mom’s back garden.

i have a lot of opinions on using practical light and alternate light sources in performance because it’s a huge part of my practice and this just....wasn’t interesting enough for me. push it further!

(I will wait for the subs on the full episode because there has to be a reason they chose that specific shape of lamp. if not i gotta ask jyp why he’s raiding my mom’s garden)

sound

god’s menu has such specific imagery associated within the lyrics and choreography that this stage was a bit dissonant for me. especially when seen in conjunction with two stages where the narrative was tied explicitly to the lyrics of the songs. i think maybe if it hadn’t been grouped with these other two stages i would have felt differently. the other groups chose to do songs were a little more abstract and allowed for more visual experimentation, but to go so blatantly against the food metaphor didn’t really work for me and i had a tough time divorcing the association. I found the arrangement to be a little lacking in energy for me towards the end but otherwise it was pretty interesting.

staging

Definitely a better performance overall that the intro stage. almost all of the gimmicks this time had relevance to the theme which i appreciated. the marionette bit and the shadow/mirror were probably the most interesting but i wish they were better lit.

 there was a lot of back and forth in the blocking that made the stage feel repetitive and also aimless? like there wasn’t a very clearly established directionality within the internal space, so it felt like treading over the same ground for no purposeful reason. and again, not a lot of intentional camerawork.

i really liked having the dancers under the big sheet, it fit well enough within the ‘war between internal selves’ theme, but also had a loose tie to the art imagery. again, i really wish they had stuck to a clearer visual theme. it makes them stick out especially in this grouping of stages, but also across all the groups as whole because almost everyone had a clear(ish) visual idea.

holy shit that’s a lot of backup dancers. i don’t really feel like that many were necessary and the sheer number of them took away from the emphasis of the group. with all of the other stages (except for tbz) it was very clear who the centre of attention and emphasis was, and with both skz and tbz they got swallowed by the sheer scale they were trying to operate at. bigger is not always better.

---

this is a tough round to rank because none of these stages are bad, there’s just some that are, in my opinion, more successful than others. all of these stages do very well in specific elements but fall short in others which also makes this ranking difficult. i’m evaluating these based on whether they were successful to me, as i’m pretty sure this ranking will probably not all be popular opinion, but whatever i like to live on the edge.

btob – visuals, vocals, narrative, swords? what more do you want me to say? also i watched the full episode and minhyuk did rehearsal with a real bokken and i think i am in love with him now.

ateez – honestly not sure if i would have ranked this first if that high note hadn’t been a mess. i love camp nonsense and i genuinely think this was a well designed stage. i can’t believe i keep saying that but it’s true.

sf9 – this stage was really solid, just could have been pushed farther. i think it has a really good sense of drama and it’s a pity that sf9’s colour is more subdued, because i think they’re going to be stuck around the 3rd/4th position for the rest of the show.

ikon – ikon is only ranking this high because although i am disappointed in the wasted potential of this stage, they NAILED the camerawork and actually brought in someone to block the steadicam into the choreo. also they’re incredible performers. i say this every time, but their stage presence, although maybe lower energy that they normally would be, is still not to be fucked with.

skz – i think this one is the most ‘meh’ for me. while i liked a lot of the elements here they just didn’t push it far enough and the lack of narrative and general aimless choreo led to me not having any strong feelings yea or nay.

tbz – to be quite honest the lack of costume unity is a big hit for me. all elements of design are equally as important but because of my personal practice and experience i tend to put a lot of weight on good costume and spatial design. i don’t actually like game of thrones also, so I feel mildly offended on behalf of michele clapton, who had did a fucking incredible job and doesn’t deserve to be slandered like this. also the lack of cohesive choreography and the overblown lighting made this difficult to watch, no matter how good i thought the rear projection/stretch fabric dance was.

 any questions or opinions you wanna share hit me up! see you next week!

#im ready for the angry asks about that s*ju opinion because that is a spicy one #kingdom #kingdom review #kpop analysis #im so surprised by these stages i cant believe ateez stuck the landing #i saw the preview for next week also and the new round looks wild so im ready #text

[hope-faith-love-abide]

I haven’t been keeping up with Heartland season 14 updates the past few months, but I decided to catch up on some of it since the premiere date is coming up and the teaser trailer was released recently. And I noticed some interesting speculation about what might happen in the new season, and I have...a lot of thoughts about it, haha. I think I need to write it out in order to really sort out my thoughts and feelings on it, but I think it might get kinda long since it’s pretty major, so I’m going to put it under a cut. 

[NOTE: This post was written approximately a week or so ago, and I’ve been just sitting on it trying to decide if I wanna post or not. But having watched the full trailer for Season 14 now...I’m like 95% certain that this seems to be the route that the season is going. Still have about 5% doubt because trailers can be misleading and I could just be reading into it. We won’t really know for sure until we see the first episode, and I’m so torn between being somewhat excited just because I want to know for certain and nervous because I know I will still be sad if it’s true.

Either way, I wanted to get my thoughts down before the season premieres so here it is I guess lol]

So...it’s actually possible that Ty might die/be dead when this season begins? Which is utterly bizarre to think about because I never would have considered this to be an actual possible situation for the show. Even when there was that summary that leaked earlier this year, I still didn’t think it was a real possibility. I thought for certain that was fake, because this is Heartland. It’s one thing for a side character to disappear from the show or to be killed off, but a main character? A main character can be hurt, injured, and on the verge of death, but they won’t actually die. Especially not a character who is in one of the two major ships on the show.

Until now?

Of course, if this does happen, I don’t think it’s something anyone on the show wanted, not even the writers. In an ideal world where every actor wanted to be in every episode of the show, I imagine they’d be perfectly happy continuing to write that story.

But in cases where an actor no longer wants to be a main character on the show -- well, obviously I can’t say definitively that this is the case, because as far as I know he has never specifically said this in an interview, but from an outsider’s/fan’s perspective, it feels like that is a possibility. I don’t know the reasons behind it though, and I’m not going to go that far into speculation.

But let’s go with this scenario hypothetically. Because it does sometimes happen with television shows, where an actor for one reason or another no longer will be part of a show. 

What do you do with that character?

The character could be recast, I suppose, but I don’t think that would work in a show like Heartland. How would we explain in-universe why Ty suddenly looks different when everyone else is still the same? Even if you can find an actor that looks similar enough, we know what Ty looks like after 13 seasons, and I don’t think anyone would be fooled into thinking it’s the same guy. I guess it could be explained with the trope that he got into such a bad accident that they had to reconstruct his face, but that feels cheap and too much like a soap opera. 

So that’s a no.

The character could be written out in other ways. Ty could just be off screen somewhere...all the time. He’s at the clinic, he’s spending the day with Lyndy, he’s at a vet conference, he’s gone back to save wolves from poachers again, he’s gone back to Mongolia for the third/fourth/fifth/ten billionth time. 

That, honestly, would be frustrating. It’s maybe the least painful short term option, but long term, it’s not very enjoyable. It’s like when important side characters suddenly disappear from the show, occasionally mentioned but never seen on screen again, only 10 times worse.

Or he could be written off by...y’know, breaking up him and Amy. Which, frankly, is the absolute worst option in my opinion. It would immediately, retroactively, destroy the entire show, past, present, and future. Ty and Amy aren’t the only important part of the show, but they are a major part of it. The show has spent 13 seasons building up this relationship (with obvious ups and downs throughout, but I’m not focused on analyzing their whole relationship in this post), so to suddenly turn around and have them divorce would be an absolute trainwreck. 

What would even be the reason? Even with some of my disagreements in the writing of certain decisions the characters have made (*coughtheMongoliaplotcough*), I don’t think those are reasons enough for these two characters to break up over it. So something new would have to be invented, and it would likely be something completely ridiculous and out-of-character for them both and also likely ruin their character development from past seasons. 

Which leads us to yet another option: Ty dying. A year ago this was something I never would have considered for the actual show (or any of those other options, frankly). It could be interesting to explore in a fanfic, but on the show? No way.

But...things change. Reality sometimes gets in the way of a television show’s ideal storyline, which is one of the difficulties of the medium, especially a live action one. And just because one actor hypothetically doesn’t want to be on the show anymore doesn’t mean it should be derailed for all the other actors and crew who are on board.

So you get rid of the character. It isn’t hard to do. Probably the hardest part will be the very first episode when it’s revealed to the audience. How did it happen? Did it happen before the season begins, or does it happen in the first episode? Or if it happened before, do we get any flashbacks? 

Is it due to complications from the gunshot at the end of season 13? A freak car/motorcycle accident? An accident during a vet call? Depending on what it is and the context of it, it can be a strong final note on the kind of person Ty has become. If during a vet call/because of an animal, it happens while he’s doing what he loves, taking care of animals. If from the end of S13, it’s from him protecting his wife. If a car accident, maybe he was going to pick up Lyndy to spend time with her after leaving a vet call, because he’s a loving father. All of those are inline with Ty’s character and still support the growth that he’s had from the first episode to now. 

And then there’s all the story potential and character growth that it opens up for all the other characters. Because this is something that majorly impacts the entire family. And the description of season 14 that was put out does talk about a “life-changing challenge,” particularly for Amy for obvious reasons.

How does she deal with losing her husband? They’ve been together for so long, not just as romantic interests but as best friends. What does her life look like without him in it? How does this affect her work? Is her work with horses a comfort for her, or does it remind her too much of him? How does she guide Lyndy through this? 

And then the rest of the family. How does Jack deal with his loss? Considering Ty became like a son to him and “officially” joins the family when he marries Amy, how does it affect Jack to lose him? Especially if it was in something like a car accident, similar to Marion. How does it affect Jack and Lisa’s relationship? 

Not to mention Lily, and Lou, and Georgie, and Tim, and Caleb, and Scott, and Cass. Ty was a huge part of all their lives, so this will affect them in major ways too. 

Again, it’s not ideal. But I do feel like this option provides the best story opportunities without ruining the characters in the process the way certain other choices would. 

And, of course, this is all purely speculation. We won’t really know what’s going to happen until the season actually airs, and it’s entirely possible that the “life-changing challenge” will be something completely different, and Ty will be fine. And if so, that’s okay with me. 

But if Ty is gone...I think I could learn to be okay with it. Though it does still depend on how they handle it. Like if everyone’s sad about it for one or two episodes, but then everyone immediately moves on and everything’s fine, then I wouldn’t be happy with that. We don’t need a whole season of everyone crying all the time, but we also don’t need this to be something that’s swept under the rug. We, the audience, will need time to grieve along with the characters. Because this is a main character that we could be losing here, not just a minor side character like Mr. Hanley for example. So I hope we get to see all of the characters going through the stages of grief and processing their loss in their own ways throughout the season.

Anyway, it was nice to write through my thoughts on this. It’s kinda funny thinking about how not that long ago, I would’ve been completely 100% against this idea ever happening in the show, but now I’m like almost on-board with it. Maybe it’s the effect of 2020 or something lol

#brigette's rambles #heartland

[lostinprocrastination]

Yeah, the Pride Month “joke” was awful. Just horrifying, in so many levels.

But the rest? Right on the money. I mean, it’s not like I was laughing my ass off because to me, quite frankly, Bill Burr is just not that funny. Not at all really. But the content was a truth bomb. I’m a white woman and yes, we do tend to hijack minority movements. Sure, our intention may be just to be an ally and broaden the scope of the message, but the hijacking happens whether we want it or not.

Hell, I myself got scolded here on Tumblr maybe a couple of months ago for exactly that, and my first reaction was “WTF? I’m just trying to spread the message!!!”, because of course it was. Later, when I thought about it, I realized I really was wrong and deserved the negative answer I received.

The thing about people who wont wear masks? I agree that hey, you wanna risk your life and those of the ones close to you? Go ahead, you moron. Burr just forgot that those people live among us, and they end up endangering us as well.

The Pride Month though, I mean...it’s not something you can brush off with a “Oh, it’s Bill Burr, he’s just brazen and ~~politically incorrect ~~ like that!” Like bro, you’re seriously pitching two oppressed minorities against each other? Seriously? Buddy, the fact that the BLM movement is what’s more prominent right now doesn’t mean you get to discard all others. What the fuck. You’re not being an ~~ally~~ to the black people by basically telling them that they should fucking resent the lgbtq+ community because they “have” a longer month in a warmer season? Jesus Christ, fuck you, man. You were right about white women, but take a fucking look in the goddamn mirror, man. Also, you had “never heard” of Gay Pride Month because you’re 52? Wow. Just wow.

Listen, I was never EVER a fan of Bill Burr’s, to say the least, and when I heard he was gonna host I was pretty angry that I was gonna have to watch him, particularly the monologue, because I just can’t stand his standup and I knew there was gonna be awful, controversial (in the worst way possible) stuff. However, I have this thing that I can’t ever skip any episodes of anything, even sketch comedy or anthology shows, so yeah, I was gonna force myself through it, knowing this was probably gonna be a trainwreck. I just never thought that he would so casually throw one minority group under the bus and expect people to love it because the joke was about the “defense” of another minority group. Fuck you, man, just. FUCK. YOU.

(I *did* skip Trump last time though, and as much as it physically hurt me to press that pesky “skip” button on SeriesGuide...like, it was Trump. AFTER he’d announced he was running in the GOP primaries. Maybe when the primaries were already happenning, that I’m not so sure of. As he likes to say, it was a desgrace. Just NO.)

#saturday night live #snl #bill burr #i knew this wasn't gonna turn out well #but jesus fucking christ

[cobraonthecob]

A Character With Chronic Running Away Issues Paired with a Character With Abandonment Issues????

For those who have seen my reblogs with RWBY and A:TLA, you all know that I adore Bumbleby but despise Kataa/ng, even though both pairings have one character with chronic running away issues and the other has abandonment issues.

GET READY FOR THE META NO ONE ASKED FOR

So why do I support one and not the other? (warning: I am not friendly to Kat@ang here)

Well...it’s because they’re in way different ballparks. Kataan/g happens when both are still 12/13 and 14/15, while Blake and Yang are about 19 by Volume 7. So for starters, there’s a massive maturity gap that almost shoots this comparison in the face right here and now. But wait! There’s more to this!

which is why i don’t like Ka/tara and A@ng getting together at such a young age, but then again, I don’t like the pairing at all, but we can talk about that another time

Now that we’ve addressed the maturity gap, let’s get into it!

For starters, Blake and Yang’s relationship started as good friends and then progressed into love interests and possibly girlfriends by the time of S7 (they haven’t quite jumped out with “we’re dating” but I personally think they’re taking it slow lol, ask me for my thoughts about it), so they kind of have the advantage of time on their side while Kata/ra and A@ng have only three seasons of development.

That being said, Kata@ng had 3 seasons, which is more than enough time to get both sides of their relationship but nooooo. We only see Aa/ng’s side of the romance, and Kat@ra for the most part acts like a mom, is uninterested, or straight up tries to let him down gently, and after the disastrous Ember Island Players kiss, which happens to be their last one-on-one interaction before the epilogue I want to pretend doesn’t exist, Katara and Aang’s friendship plumments badly. Heck, their last interaction ever ends badly, with the entire Gaang arguing with A@ng about how to end the war! 

what I’m saying is that Kat@ra and Aa/ng had a strained friendship before they did that cursed kiss while Blake and Yang’s friendship continued to build and then blossom into romance

“But Nightfalcon, what about the abandonment issues?!”

I’m getting there, be patient!

Now for the actual getting together - how do we make these two characters fit together?

By making both characters recognize their faults.

Blake herself knows she’s in the wrong, she addresses her chronic running away issues, starting in Volume 2, in Mountain Glenn, where she says it herself: “But I am! I do it all the time! When you learned I was a Faunus, I didn't know what to do, so I ran! When I realized my oldest partner had become a monster, I ran! Even my Semblance! I was born with the ability to leave behind a shadow of myself; an empty copy that takes the hit while I run away!” (taken directly from the RWBY Wiki). She feels guilt for running away in Volume 3 after the Fall of Beacon, but she internalizes this anger, which pops out at bad times, and she takes her guilt, buries it in anger, and isolates herself. After Sun is injured, Blake believes she’s the one at fault, and when she explodes at him and tells him why she isolates herself, Sun tells her that she’s in the wrong for isolating herself, but then tells her that he would always be there to protect her and be there for her, and that Yang would too (OK I’ve got a whole meta about Sun and Yang and Blake and why they’re amazing relationships but that’s a whole ‘nother meta).

By having Chronic Running Away (CRA bc that’s getting to be a mouthful) character openly address their faults (and others calling them out on it), you’re one step closer to making a ship sail much more smoothly.

Then there’s Yang.

In Alone Together, Yang talks to Weiss that she’s not upset solely at Blake, she’s upset that Blake didn’t feel safe enough to trust them to stay by them, and that they (whether if Yang was referring to just herself and Blake or herself, Ruby, and Blake [as Weiss was taken to Atlas]) could’ve been there for each other. She gets to address her anger and explain why she feels that way, and Weiss lends a listening ear and some advice for her. 

Eventually, the two are brought back into the same space, and spend the next few volumes patching up their relationship, or at least, the best they can, up until the fight with Adam, which puts everything on the table, and in the aftermath, Blake promises Yang she wouldn’t leave her and Yang understands and assures her that she already trusts/knows that Blake wouldn’t leave her.

TL;DR: Blake recognizes that her CRA issues are bad, and tries to make amends, Yang gets to vent her issues with Blake’s CRA issues and gets emotional support from Weiss and Ruby. Blake promises not to run, and Yang tells her that she’s not worried about Blake running away because she knows that Blake knows that team RWBY will always be there for her and that there’s a support system in place for Blake that she probably won’t feel the need to run. (seriously if you haven’t watched this show already, please do. It’s really great)

A:TLA, as wonderful as this show is, doesn’t do that for Kat@ra and A/ang.

From memory, The Storm is the episode that really touched on Aan/g’s flightiness, but Katara coddles him in that one, trying to tell him “it’s not your fault, if you hadn’t run, you might’ve died as well” which can be taken either way (IMO she’s right and wrong at the same time. Yes, Aa/ng might’ve died, but also, he needs a solid kick in the pants sometimes, I’ll talk about it later)

The next time his flightiness rears its ugly head, it’s in The Desert. After Appa is stolen, Aan/g runs off to go look for Appa, and Katara is left with Toph, Sokka, and Momo to try and get out of the desert on foot. The entire day turns into a trainwreck, as Toph has extreme guilt for failing to keep the sandbenders from taking Appa (it isn’t her fault but that’s another meta) and Sokka (and Momo) drink cactus juice and is as a result, mentally incapacitated. With the dire mission of getting the news of the eclipse to Ba Sing Se, Katara’s the only one clear-headed enough to lead the way through the desert. Once A/ang does come back, he’s still upset from his inability to find Appa, and lashes out at the others for not caring to look for Appa (even though he’s far away and that no one has a means of transportation to find Appa). Tensions are already high in the group - with dwindling water supply, they have to make it out of the desert fast, but the rest of the team is losing hope - Toph because she feels like a failure and Sokka shaking off the effects of the cactus juice, and Katara looks so tired. When Aa/ng snaps at her, she doesn’t snap back, only quietly telling A/ang that she’s trying to keep this group together enough for them to survive. A/ang running away this episode is not addressed in favor of the team getting out of the desert alive. 

Finally, in the finale four-parter, Aan/g runs away again. This time she can only hope that he’ll come back and do his job, but she’s got other stuff to worry about, like the upcoming fight with Azula. 

Afterwards...

they don’t talk about it.

YEAH YOU READ THAT RIGHT. They don’t talk about it. They don’t address the running away issues, they don’t address when A@ng kissed her without her consent twice, they just hug on a balcony and then kiss symbolizing a marriage, because I definitely signed up for East Asian Jesus making out with his mom! Definitely! They don’t talk, Katara becomes a silent character and it gets even worse in LoK ~

*Nightfalcon proceeds to take a few minutes to scream*

And of course, no one else really calls out Aa/ng, except for Toph in Bitter Work, but that was more on his fighting/bending style and not on him in general.

The only other really memorable time where Katara’s abandonment issues are brought up is when she’s ranting at her dad in The Awakening, where she takes issue with both him and A/ang leaving her, and for the most part, Hakoda does give her the support she needs.

Heck, in the finale arc, Zuko tells her that it’s probably for the best that Aang is given some time alone to run to his room and meditate. probably because the last time Katara and A/ang were alone, A@ng kissed her without her consent and I’m going into full speculation territory but what if Zuko knows and doesn’t want that to happen again?

So Katara is repeatedly told by the narrative that Aa/ng is the type to run away when things get tough, and that she should let him.

I see both sides of the issue, and I get it, but when it comes to pairing people off in a relationship, well, they shouldn’t have gotten together.

Anyways, Aan/g is also twelve and has proven numerous times to be unable to support Katara emotionally, and has kissed her without her consent twice, while Katara is 14 going on 28 because of the war, losing her mom and stepping up as the mother figure for her entire family, and later because Aang isn’t allowed to grow up at all, along with other symbolism that shoots Kataa/ng in the foot. 

TL;DR: Katara and A/ang never really talk about A@ng’s running away issues, and no one comes up to support Katara (they do validate her but it’s not a whole support system she can fall back on fully), and Aa/ng is way too immature for a full on relationship at the time of the show’s end. 

So what was the point of this rambly mess? It’s to show how to write a relationship where one character has a tendency to run away while the other one has abandonment issues. I like Bumbleby because Blake acknowledges that it’s a flaw of hers and she actively works to toning it down and Yang has a whole support system and both get to talk about it and aaaahhhhh the communication between them, while you have Katara and A@ng never addressing the issue because Katara’s so gosh darn afraid of stepping on his feelings (see: The Waterbending Scroll) and no one fully provides support for her (Hakoda keeps getting separated from the Gaang and she and Zuko became friends at the end of TSR, and only had an episode between that one and the finale arc so it left a lot unexplored of their friendship) and Aan/g is therefore taught that it’s a-OK to invalidate the feelings of the person you like because you’ll get them in the end!

#nightfalcon posts #nightfalcon rants #atla #a:tla #anti kataang #anti aang #aang salt #sort of #just covering my bases #atla salt #a:tla salt #rwby #bumbleby #bumblebee #blake #yang #katara #long post

[thesassiestcolor]

RWBY7 Soundtrack first impressions :D

I do this every year for the past 3, so considering how excited I am for this one, I couldn’t possibly skip it! (and yes, some YT channels have okay quality of the songs up already) 

Disclaimer: I am musically inclined but by no means a music theory person. Don’t come at me about keys and chords and shit

Trust Love: This is totally gonna be my “Cheer” song for the rest of the year lmao there’s GREAT rising moments you can’t help but scream along with!!! Very hope punk of Jeff Williams!! And I love the recurring theme of Ruby (and all the characters in general) waiting and wanting Something to make everything easier (to live in a fairy tale, defeat evil and safe everyone) but they ultimately know that it’s up to THEM to do it! Not Ironwood or anyone else, YOU gotta be the good person!! 

Be the positive influence you want in the world!! The way’s uncertain but we’re together!!! Trust love babey!! 

Touch the Sky: You know those upbeat songs you hear the beginning of coming of age comedies?? This is that song. I will probably wake up to this song for the next month lol it is SPEWING positivity. 

I was hoping it to be a total Blake song - which it TOTALLY could be, if there was more of her piano motif - but there is a totally awesome riff and piano solo! near the end that hints at it. Not to mention the lyrics are all about being surprised at your own potential, your own greatness and lovable traits. It’s perfect for anyone really, in or out or rwby that’s learning to love themselves and I’m gonna make myself tear up omg but it’s amazing! 

Let’s Get Real: Okay, I wasn’t really looking forward to the total pop, semi club-songs we heard at Robyn’s rally, but I gave it a chance. And yeah, it’s sort of a generic, happy love song. I’d equate it to Neon or Dream Come True - pure fluff that’s a good bop but meh (I’m more for the really heavy fast songs anyway, but I won’t bash this one for not being my thing lol)

Celebrate: this one is pretty similar to Let’s Get Real ^ only I don’t even get the point since we already have the sort-of pop song for the volume XD (not to mention that this volume isn’t really the one I would think of as super up beat happy times lol) Also a rap section! I can’t tell just by ear if it’s Lamar Hall, but I’d be surprised if it was anyone else 

But I will say it’s got way more of a funk feeling, lots of horns and low bass, almost like an 80s song lmao. I could see this being a great karaoke song 

Brand New Day: Okay we’re still on the happy up beat section, but it’s with music I actually LIKE!! YES!

Also Jeff’s lines are about Qrow and you can fight me on THAT: “drunk loser hall of fame”? “trapped inside this place I made”?? “I know I’ve failed so many times, drowned the troubles in my mind, burning everything in 100 proof”?? “All this self destruction can be rearranged” “PUT A FULL STOP ON THE TRAINWRECK THAT IM IN??” The general classic rock feel of the bridge?? STFU ITS A QROW SONG WE GOT ANOTHER ONE BOOYSSS HALLELUJAH 

Also it’s strange to hear Jeff belting to a happy song lol it’s so refreshing!! This might be my favorite but War is coming up sooo I just love it!!

War: This slowly became my most anticipated because oh my god the fast paced belting ones are my shit!! TBH I’m having a hard time understanding all of the lyrics (and there’s a few strange tempo changes) but it’s still awesome!

The drums!! They’re changed a bit and the lyrics and clearer, but HOLY SHIT THE ENERGY! THE RIFFS! This is a workout song in it’s purest form, I just want to GO when I hear it!

Hero: Did I scream when I heard Caleb Hyles during the episode? Yes I did. Did I scream when I heard the haunting, slow buildup of this song? YES I DID

The buildup is so ATLAS I can’t believe it, very This Life is Mine. Say what you want about Ironwood, but this really is the perfect song for him. Very self assured, heroic type (but not as glorifying as Adam, Ironwood does at least want to save SOME people :/) But it also shows that Ironwood is a bit messed up in his total shutdown of emotions, his admittance that he “lacks a heart” which 1. amazing tin man references!! Yes!! and 2) we really should have seen ep 11 coming huh. I got played at least

Again, I’ll probably be using this as a great workout song, because DAMN the confidence this injects into you is crazy!! 

Until The End: So I always say I don’t get into the slower songs very easily (I’m still not that into Forever fall a year later lol) but when I heard this mixed with Ozpin’s speech that basically summed up the whole volume, I knew it was gonna hit different. and holy shit does it hit different

Casey brings probably her best performance in my opinion. The mixing and echoes with the piano helps a ton, but the lyrics also fucked me up too shit. I think that all the happy songs we’re to balance out how absolutely desolate this one piece is. Think In the Arms of the Angels level of crying

There are a few lines that could lead to great speculation from the fndm, I think I have to recover first, but “A spark fills my eyes. I’ll picture me beside her, and pray that I inspire. I promised I’d be here until our story has been told.” My first thought is Summer? I’ll have to take a few more listens, but yeah. This fucked me up.

Fear has been out, and I’ve screamed about it already, but it is still one of my favorites out of everything. Perfectly encapsulates the major fault in the volume, fucking rocks, has great lines to sing along to, can be interpreted for Raven, and also asks for a bit of self reflection. 

So I wasn’t blown away by the two pop songs, War was a bit more repetitive that I would have liked, and the opening was alright, but the ones I were looking forward to the most hit HARD. Definitely not disappointed, definitely will listen on repeat for like, six months

Jeff really gives us everything huh lol

#tldr: bops bangers rocks and sadness #its perfect #rwby #rwby7 #rwby soundtrack #jeff williams #casey lee williams #Qrow branwen #ruby rose #Blake Belladonna #weiss schnee #Yang xiao long

[animebw]

Short Reflection: Winter 2022 Anime

Was Winter 2022 a good or bad season for anime? I’m not entirely sure. There were definitely a lot of subpar, disappointing, and outright terrible anime, and the shows that I truly fell in love with were few and far between. That said... man, the good stuff this season was really fucking good. There’s at least three all-time classics worth checking out here, not to mention the continuation of one of last year’s best shows coming in for a mostly satisfying landing. I’ve already talked about My Dress-Up Darling and Akebi’s Sailor Uniform in another post, so you can check that out for my more in-depth thoughts on both of them (short version, Dress-Up Darling was a delight and Akebi made me feel like I should be put on a watchlist for watching it). As for the rest of the season, read on to hear my thoughts on the many, many anime I kept up with and find out which ones are truly worth your time!

Arifureta Season 2: 2/10

I told you. I fucking told you the worst thing that could happen with Arifureta was a competent anime adaptation. At least when the production was a complete trainwreck, you could enjoy it as a so-bad-it's-good garbage fire. At least then it had some value as an unintentionally honest depiction of what these kinds of bottom-tier isekai sludge deserve. But nooooo, the second season just had to turn things up to Basically Competent and give us the straightforward, unfiltered Arifureta experience we were apparently all clamoring for. And just like I said, the result is a show is absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The characters are garbage, the wish-fulfillment pandering is gag-inducing, the story is nonsense, the "comedy" is agonizing, and all the unintentional hilarity of the first season's failures is nowhere to be found. This is no longer a so-bad-it's-good disasterpiece; now, Arifureta is nothing more than one more shitty, worthless isekai among far, far too many like it. But hey, I guess all ten genuine Arifureta fans out there got the show they were always dreaming of. I hope it was fucking worth it.

Tribe Nine: 3/10

I was excited for Tribe Nine when it was first announced. A crazy cyberpunk extreme baseball anime from the creator of the astoundingly good Akudama Drive (and Danganrompa, which I hear is good too)? This should've been a home run. Unfortunately... look, you remember how Madoka kills off its cool mentor character at the end of the third episode as a way of catapulting the story into high gear? Well, Tribe Nine tries to do the same thing, but it instead drives the entire show into the dirt. Once Shun Kamiya kicks the bucket, Tribe Nine loses all its mojo, and the promise of an off-the-walls sports extravaganza fizzles in a flash of flop sweat. The characters are all grating, the plotting is too stupid to even enjoy ironically, Lidenfilms' production values continue to barely rise above the bottom of the barrel, and just as the cherry on top, the sound mixing is so atrocious that I regularly had to turn my volume down to avoid getting my eardrums blasted out. My advice: just watch Akudama Drive if you haven't already, because that show kicks ass in all the ways that Tribe Nine falls flat on its face.

In the Land of Leadale: 3/10

Isekai is boring. There, I said it. This genre is one of the least interesting, least necessary, and least compelling... things that exists in popular culture right now. I just finished In the Land of Leadale seconds ago, and I'm struggling to find something, anything, worth talking about in this white noise of a show. And frankly, me trying to figure out how to talk about Leadale already feels like I'm putting more thought into it than everyone who actually worked on the damn thing. This show is too mind-numbingly nothing to deserve that level of consideration. So instead, I'll leave it at this: even though this show lacks all the usual tropes that make me hate isekai- no harem, no incel whining, the protagonist is a well-adjusted adult woman more interested in forming meaningful personal connections with people than power fantasy masturbation- it's no more interesting than any of the usual seasonal dreck. That, more than anything, should prove how fundamentally broken this genre is.

Princess Connect Re:Dive Season 2: 3.5/10

I so desperately wish I could like Princess Connect. It's rare we get an gacha adaptation that's so consistently gorgeous, with cinematography and animation that rank among the best I've ever seen in this medium. Plus, it even kind of sort of has a yuri romance at its heart! But then someone has to open their mouth, and I'm reminded that almost every character's voice in this show makes me want to rip my eardrums out from sheer annoyance. It is shocking how bad the comedy in this show can be, all screeching and wailing in overplayed moe voices from characters who don't so much have comedic personalities as they do obnoxious gimmicks that just kind of Happen(tm) in isolation from anything resembling comedic chemistry. Worse still, season 2 tries to push the plot to the forefront for the sake of a dramatic climax, but it feels like the show's assuming you've already played the gacha so it doesn't have to bother explaining any of the countless Proper Nouns and Implied Backstories it throws at you. And as someone who has not played the gacha, the end result is an incomprehensible clusterfuck of unexplained bullshit that feels like it's playing off knowledge that the show itself never bothered to give you. What a waste of such a stellar production.

Magia Record Final Season: 4/10

Alright, I know this is technically part of the spring season, but it’s just four episodes that all dropped at once in perfectly bingeable format, so I’m including it here for the sake of staying relevant. And honestly? The finale of Magia Record made me angry. Not because it’s particularly terrible (though it’s still pretty bad for all the same reasons the previous seasons were bad), but because I finally see how this show could’ve been good. The final two episodes, for the first time in Magia Record’s entire run, showcase a genuine depth and pathos beyond just cluttering the screen with too many characters to keep track of. And for the first time, I see the show that Magia Record could have been. A show that takes the original Madoka’s themes of persevering through tragedy and expands upon them with self-love and the power of community as guiding lights in the darkness. A show that genuinely compliments Madoka Magica and shows a brighter side of its world where magical girls can find happiness, even through all the pain that still befalls them. Given proper build-up, with more time dedicated to building compelling characters than spouting overstuffed lore and fanservice? This finale could’ve been something really special. It’s just a shame that’s not the version of this show they ended up making. Alas, that better Magia Record anime that peeks through in its final moments is a dream that will never come to pass, and all I’m left with is frustration knowing how good things could’ve been in comparison to the mess we actually got.

Tokyo 24th Ward: 4/10

At some point, Cloverworks is going to work itself into a ditch. This is the second winter in a row it’s aired three shows at once, and just like last time, it resulted in their highly ambitious original anime being driven straight into a ditch. Multiple unplanned recap episodes, animation that quickly degrades from pretty and polished into barely holding together... someone needs to fire whichever producer is pushing this studio so hard before it results in yet another potentially worthwhile anime going up in smoke. On the bright(?) side, at least we’re spared another epic tragedy like what befell Wonder Egg Priority, because Tokyo 24th Ward was already bad even before the production started falling apart. It’s trying to be this clever, high-concept allegorical thrill tide exploring the debate of privacy and freedom vs security and safety, but it mostly comes off as ham-fisted both-sides-ism that doesn’t really understand how to accurately portray the pitfalls of either total anarchy or creeping authoritarianism. And while there are a handful of good ideas and moments scattered throughout, the overall package is basically just a dumber, more meat-headed version of Psycho-Pass. And I really don’t need any more bad Psycho-Pass in my life; its own sequels were terrible enough to cover that front forever.

The Orbital Children: 5.5/10

If nothing else, you can't fault The Orbital Children for lacking ambition. In just six longer-than-usual episodes, this Netflix original from the creator of Dennouh Coil transitions from a fun lark about space camp gone wrong to a heady, philosophical debate on eco-fascism, predetermination, the failures of capitalism, how that might affect the future of technology, and a graduate-studies-level thesis on the evolution of AI thought patterns... all while still technically being a fun lark about space camp gone wrong. Does it work? Not really, if I'm being honest; there are entirely too many ideas stuffed into this show for such a short runtime, and none of them really get the chance to breathe (nor do many of the characters). But goddamn, was it fascinating to watch unfold. Hopefully Dennouh Coil's higher episode count will let help these lofty ambitions find their footing when I finally get around to that show.

The Case Study of Vanitas Season 2: 5.5/10

Good news, everyone: the second season of Vanitas got rid of that godawful running joke where Vanitas harasses Jeanne into loving him! The worst part of this show is no more! Now we can finally judge this stylish steampunk vampire romp on its own merits without an obvious Terrible Aspect ruining everything! Aaaaaaaand it’s still not that great a show, lol. I think my biggest issue is the fact that we’re two full cours into Vanitas now, and yet I still have no idea what the story is even about. Sure, not every anime needs an overarching narrative to be good, but despite all the revelations about everyone’s pasts that come to the surface over the course of this season, it’s not really clear what any of this is building towards. What, exactly, is supposed to keep me coming back to The Case Study of Vanitas over the course of these characters’ journeys? What is the end goal I’m meant to wait in anticipation of? Because lacking that knowledge, I can’t help but feel like this show is going nowhere fast. I’m not opposed to watching more now that I no longer have to worry about the aforementioned baggage, but if Bones ever returns with a season three, I hope those big-picture questions finally get some answers.

Sabikui Bisco: 6/10

This show is nuts, y'all. Like, it's really nuts. In the first two episodes alone, we're introduced to a post-apocalyptic Mad Max-style desert world where people shoot arrows that explode into giant mushrooms and ride on giant crabs to escape the pink-rabbit-mask-wearing forces of an oppressive regime riding on militarized war hippos. And it somehow only gets wilder from there. Suffice to say, Sabikui Bisco is a hell of a good time, at least when the stiff production from new studio OZ isn't shooting it in the foot. But what really gives this show its heart is its characters: the interplay between the titular brash, bullheaded Bisco and the aggressively kind, good-natured doctor Milo he partners with makes for the most charming queerbait couple we've seen in a long time. You know, the kind of couple where all the emotional moments are about them expressing how much they mean to each other with intense physical intimacy, and one of them even outright says "I love you" to the other one which inspires him to literally crawl out of the depths of hell, but then the one dude has a romantic subplot with the other guy's sister out of nowhere. I'm not even mad, it's hilarious. Chicken out all you want, author, we all know where Bisco's heart truly lies.

Requiem of the Rose King (1st Half): 6/10

A deliciously dark and gothic re-imagining of Shakespeare's historical plays that casts the infamous Richard III as a tragic intersex antihero in a doomed romance with King Henry VI? Be still, my beating heart. Requiem of the Rose King is so thoroughly My Shit that I'm almost offended I didn't come up with the idea myself. The only thing holding it back, sadly, is the production: J. C. Staff is still one of the most overtaxed studios in the industry, and their limited animation, paired with a script that rushes a few too many moments, results in a compromised product that feels like it's only living up to half its potential. Thankfully, director Kentarou Suzuki covers for a lot with his arresting, almost Ikuhara-esque stylistic flourishes, bringing this bloody war tale to life with surreal tableaus of terror and haunting depictions of the characters' tumultuous inner thoughts. As long as he's able to keep his hands on the rails in the show's second half (and as long as Kou Ootani's music continues to kick ass), I think this tragic tale will stick the landing well enough to be worth a recommendation.

Slow Loop: 6.5/10

With how crowded this anime season was, I almost passed over Slow Loop as just another generic Cute Girls Doing Cute Things show. But I'm glad I gave it a shot, because this turned out to be a very fine example of the form. Yes, it's basically just a bunch of adorable moeblobs learning about fly fishing, but it executes that premise with real heart. The characters are charming, the humor is solid, and there's a clear love of the hobby in how it's portrayed and interacted with. Plus, there's actually a very powerful thematic undercurrent where the co-protagonists, new stepsisters Hiyori and Koharu, are both dealing with the grief of losing a parent. It's not too overstated, but it's clear that fishing is a way for both of them to process that grief, finding comfort in the sport itself and the connections they build through it. And that little bit of emotional complexity made this otherwise simple show really touch a chord with me. It's no Yuru Camp, but it's definitely worth checking out.

Salaryman's Club: 6.5/10

Sound the alarms, everyone: Lidenfilms finally learned how to animate! And holy fuck, is it a sight to behold. Salaryman’s Club isn’t just an impressively above-average production, it’s right up there with Haikyuu itself as one of the best-looking sports anime of all time. Every single whack, smack, dash, leap, and spike of its badminton matches is brought to life with some of the sharpest editing and animation you’re likely to see all year, and it makes every last strike of the shuttlecock sing. The story itself is nothing to write home about: aside from the unique gimmick of taking place in the world of corporate sports and featuring adult characters balancing athletics with their actual jobs, it’s mostly just a by-the-numbers sports narrative with character arcs and story beats you can see coming a mile away. But that simplicity is easily forgivable when the sport itself kicks this much fucking ass. Every time the characters get on the court, Salaryman’s Club damn near becomes one of the best shows of the season, and it’s absolutely worth checking out for that alone. Just don’t expect much more than Basic Competency between the moments where it truly comes alive.

Sasaki and Miyano: 8.5/10

What's particularly great about Sasaki and Miyano is that it's not just an adorable slow-burn slice-of-life romance that just so happens to be Boy's Love. No, this show is in large part about BL and it's complicated relationship to real-life gay people. Miyano is a closeted fudanshi who uses the fiction of BL to distance himself from his own queerness: "I'm not like the people in this stories, so how could I possibly like guys?" But when his attractive upperclassman Sasaki begins to awaken something in him, both he and the audience are forced to consider where the line lies between the consumable fantasies of BL and the reality of being attracted to other guys. It explores how fiction can both help us process reality and blind us to it, how so-called "problematic" works can still be valuable to the people they're supposedly insensitive towards, how gay men struggle with and sometimes reclaim even the supposedly more harmless stereotypes of what it means to be a gay man. It's a shockingly thoughtful work that will leave you with a lot to chew on, even as its primary purpose is to make you squeal with joy at just how gosh darn adorable these boys are being. Both thematically rich and sugary sweet, Sasaki and Miyano is a new high-water mark for BL anime, and I hope its popularity will result in many more great gay romances to come.

Ranking of Kings (2nd Half): 8.5/10

It's been an absolute delight watching Ranking of Kings slowly get its due. Just like Boji himself, this show started with no one taking it seriously, dismissing its seemingly childlike artstyle and paying it no attention. But with nothing more than sheer, unabated quality, it's risen to become one of 2021's greatest anime success stories, racking up praise and affection from every corner of the anime community. It's an underdog success story both in-universe and out. And the second half, despite suffering from the same lack of focus as the first half, fulfills that promise with spectacular climaxes to character arcs and some of the most jaw-dropping animated fight scenes I've seen in a long time. Seriously, episode 21 puts the entirety of Demon Slayer to shame all on its own. There is, unfortunately, some allegorical anti-Korean imperialism baked into one of its backstories, and it's a rare sour note in a story that otherwise treats all its subjects with the empathy they deserve. Survive that speed bump, though, and Ranking of Kings is a truly remarkable achievement. This is one underdog that no one's gonna underestimate ever again.

Teasing Master Takagi-san Season 3: 9/10

Alright, here's the deal: every single person reading this rundown has a job to do. Your job is to stop whatever you're doing right now and go watch Takagi-san. I don't care what else you're watching, do it now. If Western weebs could turn mid-tier seasonal waifus like Nagatoro and Uzaki into memetic smash hits, then you have no excuse not to pay your respects to the once and future queen of teasing rom-coms. Because unlike those pretenders to the throne, Takagi-san doesn't exist to sell a fantasy to masochistic loners looking for their next fix. No, this show is nothing more or less than the most adorable, sincere portrayal of middle school puppy love you're likely to ever see. So leave behind your screechy gremlins with big bazongas and smug faces plastered over skimpy outfits, and come marvel at the sheer joy of watching two thirteen-year-olds slowly stumble their way into understanding how to be in love with each other. Come delight at a show that's only gotten more adorable with every season and reaches a head here with some of the most well-earned, squee-inducing payoffs in anime rom-com history. Come, my friends, and give Teasing Master Takagi-san the respect it deserves. I promise you, you won't regret it.

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #winter 2022 sr #winter 2022 anime #winter 2022 #teasing master takagi san #karakai jouzu no takagi-san #takagi-san #ranking of kings #ousama ranking #sasaki and miyano #tribe nine #the orbital children #magia record #sasaki to miyano #salaryman's club #ryman's club #in the land of leadale #princess connect #princess connect re:dive #tokyo 24th ward #slow loop #requiem of the rose king #baraou no souretsu #arifureta #arifureta shokugyou de sekai saikyou #sabikui bisco #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte

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The 62 2020 Movies Releases I Watched During 2020 Ranked

Like the awkward title says, I’m going to rank (and talk about) all the 2020 movies I watched in 2020. This is not meant as any empirical list of what was best, it’s ranked by what I liked the least to the most, and my main criteria is what kind of impact it had on me and/or how much I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

Little bit about myself, I went to art school for animation, then after art school I went to a community college where I studied screenwriting. Never ended up pursuing either thing professionally, but I still write screenplays in my free time and read screenwriting books and listen to screenwriting podcasts. I'm the type of person that loves special features, seeks out behind the scenes information and director interviews, and watch youtube videos analyzing films. I love film, and thinking about film and talking about film and sharing the films I like, and maybe one day making films of my own, who knows.

Ranking and reviewing 62 movies was a more ambitious and challenging task than I anticipated, I rearranged this list swapping titles back and forth so many times, and then I’d remember a movie I forgot I watched and have to add that and figure out where it ranks. I started this on January 1st and am just now ready to post it on the 17th, I was still switching rankings right up until posting this. Even looking at it now there are some kinda want to switch but I’ve accepted that this is more or less arbitrary, lol. 

The more I learn about film and what goes into creating a movie the more lenient I am about them. It’s not like I’m never critical of films, but I try to consider both the good and the bad of a movie instead of thinking in a binary of films are either amazing or trash. Some of these films aren’t great, but I typically still enjoyed them to some degree. Except Mulan, lol. I’m sorry Mulan. Speaking of Mulan...

62. Mulan

I'm going to try to say something nice about all these movies even if I didn't like them at all. So... I like the cast, and there are some nice visual moments. I actually was looking forward to this movie before reviews started coming out, it has 2 of the martial arts G.O.A.T.s in it, Donnie Yen and Jet Li, and also Jason Lee as the bad guy, so I figured it might at the very least have some decent action, but they were all underutilized. There’s not a single moment in the film where I felt anything at all. I think all these Disney live-action remakes are doing is making a case for how effective animation is for storytelling.

61. Color Out of Space

I heard a lot of good things about this movie, and it’s really cool visually, and I love Nicolas Cage always, but I really couldn’t get into it. I guess my main issue is that it starts off already too campy for any of to the Lovecraftian horror to really hit. It felt like a B-movie with great production value, and maybe that’s what they were going for? I really wanted to like this but I really just did not feel invested in anything going on, did not relate to anyone in the family, so I don’t think I got much out of it besides the cool visuals.

60. Bloodshot

I think the main flaw of this movie is that is that Vin Diesel was a producer on it, and Vin Diesel should be kept away from making creative decisions on movies. How Did This Get Made did a great podcast episode on this movie. It’s absolute nonsense, it has a couple of cool sequences and special effects in it, and Lamorne with a British accent is great, he’s the main redeeming value of this movie.

59. The Midnight Sky

It seems like this movie wants to be Interstellar, it’s structured in a very similar way, but it just didn’t quite have that same emotional punch. It looks very good, it’s well-acted, it has it’s moments.

58. The New Mutants

It's not as much of a trainwreck as people make it out to be in my opinion, I think the cast is good and it has some good character interactions, but it mostly suffers from the fact that it's way too predictable, from the beginning you're way ahead of the characters, and it doesn't help that they're in this confined setting so there's not a lot for them to actually do. But I appreciate the attempt at using mutants to do a horror breakfast club thing, good concept.

57. Vampires vs The Bronx

Vampires as a gentrifiers taking over the hood, great idea. Mero is in it, the brand is brolic. It was a fun set up, but it was neither funny enough or scary enough in my opinion. The vampires die so easily it's like okay whatever. It's like a really long Goosebumps episode.

56. Freaky

I don't think the execution lived up to the great concept, but Vince Vaughan was really great in those sincere moments playing a teenage girl. Horror fans will appreciate the gory kills. I'm not going to spoil anything but I do think there are some narrative issues that keep this from being stronger than it could've been. If you made the killer a creepy janitor at the school or even one of the teachers, then I think that would've created more interesting situations.

55. Eurovision

I love Will Ferrell, I even love some of his flops like Casa De Mi Padre and Kicking and Screaming, and even the House I think had a lot of really funny moments. This was definitely one of the least funny movies he's done to me. I think the director David Dobkin couldn't commit to being silly the way Adam McKay can cause there's a lot of this movie that just has no jokes, and the movie is over 2 hours long which isn't normal for comedies so you spend a lot of time watching unfunny scenes and extended musical numbers.

54. The Wrong Missy

I'm not a big fan of most Happy Madison movies, the jokes are very hit or miss for me. I'm a big fan of Lauren Lapkus though so I watched it to support her, and she plays an absolute psycho in this. It's so over the top it's like this character is not a human being, but I have to admit there are a few moments where she made me laugh pretty loud. I'd never watch this movie again, but maybe I'd look up certain parts on youtube.

53. The Platform

High concept dystopian sci-fi horror. Reminds me of the Cube. It's one of those things that makes you think about what you'd do in the same situation. It's a very on the nose allegory, so by the end of it my only takeaway was "Yeah, it really be like that." 

52. Archenemy

Another high concept movie. Joe Mangienello is good in it, but Glenn Howerton and Paul Scheer are my favorite parts of the movie, it's fun to see comedy actors play bad guys. My main problem with the movie was that I did not find the teen character to be interesting or relatable at all, in fact he can be kind of obnoxious. In his introductory scene he's REALLY bothering this random guy minding his own business, not respecting his boundaries at all. Then the rest of the movie is about him exploiting a homeless man and being really pushy for likes on some app, and he doesn't really have a character arc. Also wasn't a big fan of the animated sequences but I forgive that knowing this was a low budget movie and those sequences were done by a team of just 3 people. 

51. Power

Jamie Foxx is great. I think he makes almost anything he's in watchable to some degree. The idea of this movie is fun but I think the action sequences are kinda underwhelming, but Jamie makes it worth watching in my opinion.

50. Birds of Prey

This movie was all style and absolutely no substance. When your main character doesn't have a solid purpose or goal you're really just watching shit happen, and that can be okay if the shit that's happening is occassionally fun or funny, but it doesn't really make for a memorable story in my opinion.

49. Wonder Woman 84

The most panned movie of 2020 maybe? It's got flaws for sure and some narrative choices I just can't understand why they made. It has some fun performances though and I ultimately appreciated that our superhero wins not by using her fists but by appealing to goodness. I feel like you rarely see that kind of idealism any more. It may not be realistic but I think that's one of the things fantasy is good for, showing us a way things could be better to strive for. But yeah, the Steve Trevor things was fucking weird, why'd they do that? And neither Steve or Diana seem concerned with about this random guy's fate. I'd probably rate this film higher if they had Steve simply appear out of thin air, I mean why not? It's magic. But I loved Kristen Wig and Pedro Pascal in this. Pedro is performing with his whole body, did he film this after season 1 of the Mandolorian? Maybe being under that helmet for a season made him want to be really expressive. The films overall kinda campy but I didn't necessarily mind that.

48. Peninsula

Sequel to the already classic Train to Busan, this film decides the up the scale, which is what sequels often do, but I think it was a mistake in this instance. This is more of an over the top action movie than a character-driven horror film like the first. There's a climactic Mad Max-esque car chase scene that is almost entirely CGI. I don't think it was a bad movie, it's an okay popcorn flick, but it definitely doesn't live up to the original.

47. The Old Guard

In terms of action I don't think it did anything interesting, but I like how they explored how horrific and heartbreaking it would be to be immortal. Coming to terms with your own mortality is a tough thing to do, but we often don't consider the idea that death is a blessing we take for granted. 

46. Sputnik

A Russian sci-fi thriller about a young doctor being tasked with trying to figure out how to separate an alien parasite from a Cosmonaut that's returned from earth. Good performances, creepy vibe, and lots of interesting questions about ethics. It has a sort of epilogue ending with a reveal I didn't quite understand the significance to the story, but didn't take away from either. Solid.

45. The Invisible Man

Fun sci-fi thriller about toxic abusive relationships and gaslighting. Elizabeth Moss is great in it and my favorite sequences are before her character actually catches on and you have moments where the camera is just focusing on a random place, very creepy and effective.

44. Sonic the Hedgehog

Personally I would've preferred a fully animated film taking place in Sonic's world. I don't know why they always feel like they need to make these movies about human characters and then spend a lot of time having to hide your CG character and having people do comical reactions to them. It feels very played out to me. BUT Jim Carrey is great in this, of course. Jim Carrey is the reason to watch this movie. He makes the movie. And it goes without saying thank God they changed that character design.

43. 2067

What I liked about this dystopian future is that the cause was basically everything. War, famine, ruining the environment, pandemics, just all our collective fuckery has resulted in a world where the human race is on the verge of extinction, plants are extinct, and oxygen is synthetic. Enter time travel, a young man is tasked with traveling into the future to bring back the solution to saving the human race. Very timely obviously. I liked it.

42. Monsters of Man

Some asshole tech bros let some killer robots loose on a remote southeast asian village as a trial run. It has lots of flaws but I give it some leeway because this is the first film of a guy who wrote, directed and was the cinematographer by himself, he didn't have a huge budget or much experience, so it's hard to expect perfection. My biggest criticism is that the film centers a white guy living in this village and some westerner medics, not the actual Asian people of the village. Could've been so much more of interesting commentary about racism and eurocentrism dropping these robots in a village of brown people no one will miss just for practice. That aside though I think it was a solid enough thriller and the robots looked pretty good.

41. Family Romance LLC

An interesting movie about a Japanese entrepreneur who has a business where he'll play whatever role in your life you need. Father, husband, coworker, etc there's a scene where someone even pays him to be scolded in his place by his boss. The main thrust of the film though is him playing the role of a girl's absentee father, pretends to reconnect with her and take her out on the town for activities. It's shot very documentary style, and there are a mixture of first time actors and non-actors. Sometimes there are long awkward conversations that feel just as awkward as real life. I really liked the premise, and the only thing that keeps it from being higher on my list is it doesn't have a strong enough conflict nor does it really have a satisfying conclusion.

40. Over the Moon

Directorial debut of animation legend Glen Keane, I really liked this visually. It was sufficiently enjoyable, but it doesn't have that emotional gut punch that Pixar or Disney films tend to have. But I guess cartoons don't NEED to make you bawl your eyes out to be good. I think there were some missed opportunities narratively, like I guess this is spoilery so just scroll ahead if you don't want to know, but she gains a step brother that she doesn't like and doesn't want to spend time with, once the adventure starts on the Moon they get separated very early on, and don't ge reunited until towards the end, but she somehow now cares about him and considers him her brother. I didn't feel like that was really earned, they should've been together throughout the adventure getting to know each other. But I otherwise liked the story aside from that nitpick. Loved the colors of this movie, almost everything in the moon world is luminescent which provides some nice visuals. Hope to see Glen direct more in the future.

39. The Croods 2

Nothing revolutionary but it has some solid physical comedy and great voice acting. All of Nicolas Cage's overacting is perfect for animation, and I liked Peter Dinklage as Mr. Betterman as well. There's a lot going on thematically but it all works pretty cohesively.

38. #ALIVE

Another Korean zombie thriller. I really liked this because I felt like as far as zombie outbreaks go this is the most realistic scenario. Once you realize what's going on you will just stay in your house rather than risk going outside and fighting zombies. But that poses the problem of a limited supply of food and water. The main thrust of the movie is not how this character survives though it's about him trying to retain his will to live. It's the perfect pandemic isolation allegory.

37. Love and Monsters

It looked kinda corny but I actually enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I like Dylan O'Brien, I love Tom Holland as Peter Parker but I've always felt like Dylan O'Brien would've been a great choice too, he has a good everyman relatable quality. There's also a dog in the movie that I loved. Put a dog in peril in a movie and I will be on the edge of my seat guaranteed. It's a fun movie with some interesting creatures in it and a solid character arc for our main protagonist.

36. Extraction

I love the trend of stunt coordinators directing films. That's the main reason why the John Wick series is so good, and the reason why this also has some very solid action. Nothing crazy here in terms of story or themes, everything is an excuse for Chris Hemsworth to fuck people up and it delivers on that. There's one scene where he slaps around some kids attacking him that I found hilarious as well. Fully welcoming an Extraction 2.

35. Save Yourselves

A couple decides to take a break from social media and get away to a cabin outside the city. While they're disconnected from the world an alien invasion occurs, furry little basketball sized poofs. This movie was pretty funny. I'm a little ambivalent about the ending but I enjoyed these hipsters arguing about what to do about aliens.

34. Bill and Ted Face the Music

A most bodacious movie. Fun gags and a robot that steals the show. It's not as good as the first 2 but I don't think that's any surprise. I think it borrows a little bit too much from the previous films, like the collecting legendary musicians thing, could've done without that. It was a fun movie though, and the daughters really worked.

33. An American Pickle

Seth Rogen playing an orthodox Jew who's been preserved in pickle juice for 100 years and his modern day app developer grandson. I think this may be Seth Rogen's best acting role, as silly as this movie is he's kind of endearing as this character from 100 years aro, and as the grandson he's a lot more understated than he usually is in movies.

32. Tenet

Tenet! Is it controversial that this is not higher up on the list? I really like Nolan's films, actually been a fan since watching his first film Following in a film class. Nolan likes playing with time in his movies so it was inevitable that he'd do something that addresses it very directly eventually. I love the time travel genre and I think this is one of the most ambitious and unique approaches to it to ever done. I actually braved theaters to see this because I did not want to miss the opportunity to see it on the big screen. I did it as safely as possible and booked a reserved seating theater where I knew I wouldn't be sitting by anyone, had a mask, gloves, antibacterial gell on deck, sanitized my seat with wipes, etc, there only 2 other people in the theater all of us sitting way for from each other. Weirdest moviegoing experience I've ever had but glad I saw it on the big screen because the visual spectacle of this is excellent. The reason it's not higher on the list is because as conceptually cool as it is as I did not feel invested. Just on a story level having a character we know very little about pursuing a goal he knows very little about for no clearly defined reason makes it feel like... we're just watching events unfold as opposed to watching a character-driven story. There's a moment at the end that you can tell was meant to be an emotional moment, but I felt nothing. They try to introduce some emotional stakes with the female character, but idk, since it wasn't tied to the inciting incident it felt more like a b-plot than fundamental to the story. So it was a really fun cool looking puzzle, more like watching a cool Rube Goldberg machine, but not something I really thought much about after it was over.

31. Guns Akimbo

I really have been enjoying Daniel Radcliffe's post-Harry Potter career, he'll do some solid dramas he seems to prefer doing fun weird shit like Swiss Army Man, Horns, his role on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, etc. This is in that vein of fun weird shit, a guy who gets guns bolted to his hands and is running around the city in a robe trying to survive essentially a real life video game. A lot of the movies lower on this list had fun concepts but were lacking in execution, but this is one that is just as fun as the idea sounds, even more fun actually, it's funny, the action is good, and there are some great visuals. I found it all around enjoyable.

30. Let Them All Talk

Glen Close as a celebrated author who invites her nephew and 2 estranged best friends on a cruise with her.  It's a very light-hearted movie with some underlying conflicts that the characters are afraid to address head on. Glen Close is great, obviously, she plays this pretentious self-important woman with affectations but is still likable and warm. It's a fairly pleasant almost slice-of-life until the 3rd act where everything comes together. To me it was a movie about communication, saying what you mean, saying what you feel, and those unspoken assumptions of what those around you are thinking or feeling about you. I know I can relate to the idea of wanting an apology from someone who might not even be cognizant of the fact that you feel slighted by them, or vice versa finding out someone's had a long standing problem with you when you thought you were cool. One sided grudges do no one any good.

29. True History of the Kelly Gang

I've heard of Ned Kelly, but I've never seen the Heath Ledge or Mick Jagger movies about him and I don't know much about him other than he's a famous Australian outlaw and something of a folk hero to some. The performances and cinematography if this are great. George MacKay from 1917 is the lead and he's amazing, sometimes vulnerable and soft, other times a madman. It spends a lot of time in his childhood and the child actor who plays Ned is great as well. It's gritty and sometimes surreal in it's imagery. From what I can gather previous films seemed to focus more on what happened with him and his gang, while this movie seems to focuses more on everything in his life that led up to him becoming who he is and forming that gang. Like a 3rd of the movie is spent in his childhood, and once the gang is actually formed things move at a pretty brisk pace, seemingly skimming over the exploits of the gang to the conclusion. The film feels very raw and gritty and very fuck the police which I always appreciate.

28. Lucky Grandma

A stubborn grandma in New York's chinatown gets her fortunte read and is told that she's going to be very lucky and come into a fortune, she then comes into possession of a bunch of money that belongs to a gang and she decides to try to keep it feeling it's owed to her by the universe. A funny crime drama with the unlikeliest of protagonists.

27. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is an icon but he can honestly be a little hit or miss for me. I don't always enjoy every choice he makes, for instance he uses real footage of war attrocities in this, and it's really upsetting to see REAL people, including children, be killed, when you're not expecting that. I understand it's meant to be upsetting, but it does make the movie something I'll probably never rewatch. Spike Lee's films to me can also feel at times heightened to the point that it feels a little cheesy (Miracle At St Anna), and there moments in this that kinda took me out of it to be honest, but overall I enjoyed it. The performances were great, Delroy Lindo in my opinion is one of the most underrated actors of all time, he's just always good no matter what he's in, everyone else in it is good too, but of course I have to mention Chadwick Boseman who was great. At the end of the day it gave me a lot to think about in terms or race, war, America, forgiveness, trauma and so many other things.

26. The Devil All The Time

There's a LOT going on in this movie, maybe a little too much, it's like 2 or 3 movies smashed into one, but... I really liked it, and that's probably because Tom Holland is so good in it.  Really liked Robert Pattinson in it too. I can’t really think of more to say about it say I won’t. Next movie.

25. Bad Education

A true crime movie about school district officiala who stole from the budget of a highschool. Hugh Jackman is great in this. I loved Jackman as Wolverine, but now that he's done with that I'm excited to see him other stuff cause he's always interesting to watch; The Fountain, Prisoners, The Prestige, he's always solid. I enjoyed this, it was done with nuance, it doesn't let them off the hook for what they did but it doesn't paint them as absolute monsters either. I really have to ask myself, if I could get away with stealing money that no one would miss... I don't know, I think I'd not do it out of fear not altruism, lol.

24. My Octopus Teacher

This is a documentary on Netflix about a diver who immerses himself in the world of underwater life and documents the life of an octopus. It's really beautiful, both in terms of visuals and in content. There's not a lot to talk about because it's fairly straightforward, but it was really fascinating to learn about this octopus and see the bond they mutually formed, and again I can't talk about how great this movie looks, it's like you're in a different world. This is something I could put in and mute while I draw just for the ambiance. 

23. Kajillionaire

A quirky dramedy about a family of really obtuse poor scam artists. As absurd as their behaviour is I can totally imagine a trio of weirdos like this living in Los Angeles ( I can say that cause it's my hometown and where I lived most of my life. It's Evan Rachel Wood's best role, I never would've imagined her doing something like this but she's great as "Old Dolio". It's funny, at time sad but not in a hammy melodramatic way, and I feel it had the perfect ending.

22. The Gentleman

Guy Ritchie doing what he does best. It's fun, stylish, witty, has layers and twists and reveals. Everybody's good in it. It doesn't have anything poignant to say, but it's fun to watch the entire time

21. Run

A thriller about a wheelchair bound teen who suspects her mother is drugging her and tries to get to the bottom of it. You can tell this director is a Hitchcock fan because it definitely has that Rear Window vibe but takes it a step further, and in many ways it's even shot and paced like Hitchcock. The lead actress is actually wheelchair bound herself so it really adds to the realism of all the things she does in this film. Oh, and Sarah Paulson is the mom, when is Sarah Paulson ever not good?

20. Horse Girl

Alison Brie is an awkward neurotic woman getting over recent grief and a history of mental illness in her family, she starts to have weird dreams and then notices people from her dreams in real life, starts blacking out and having gaps in time, and starts to believe it's due to alien abduction conspiracy. Is she losing her mind or is it really happening? Alison Brie is really really good in this, and she co-wrote it too, it has a lot of moments where you really feel sorry for her or scared for her and you start to question what's real yourself.

19. Swallow

I  found this movie really fascinating, it's like what if you turned one of those My Strange Addiction episodes on TLC into a movie. It's about this woman who ostensibly, at least from appearances, has the perfect life (at least by societal standards), she came from nothing and is now housewife to a rich successful man, and behaves almost like a Stepford wife. Then develops a compulsion to swallow inedible things, like marbles and batteries and thumbtacks, which is a real condition called pica. Its the kind of movie that gives you a lot to think about but no easy answers.

18. Time to Hunt

A Korean heist thriller set in the near future. A bunch of childhood friends rob the wrong person and have an Anton Chigurh-esque killer sent after them to retrieve the money and kill them. It's a really tense cat and mouse thriller with good performances. The ending seemed to turn a lot of people off based on a lot of youtube comments I read, but I didn't mind it. My only real gripe is that they set this in the near future but aside from some imagery in the beginning it doesn't seem to come into play that much, this all could've taken place in modern day or even the past with no alteration of the story. I think the future setting was more just for some social commentary that maybe went over my head a little bit because I'm not from Korea, but I think if they were going to do near future they could've added some futuristic weapons or something. But that's just nitpicking, while the future setting didn't add to the story much it didn't take away from it either.

17. Tigertail

As I get older one of my worse fears is making decisions that I will regret for the rest of my life, so this movie really hit home as a cautionary tale. It's a kind of quietly devastating movie. There's no huge tragic horrific even, just a huge miscalculation. Decades of your life of work and unhappiness go by and all you can do is wonder what things could've been. I also especially appreciated the cinematography and music of this film.

16. Mother

It's been a while since I hated a character this much, but this titular mother really pissed me off. She's a neglectful mother who only sees her son as a tool, but he sticks by her cause he loves her. It's definitely not a fun movie to watch, but it made me feel a lot and meditate on the idea of love and whether it in itself has innate value.

15. Call

I went into this movie cold, having no idea what it was really about other than that it was a thriller that revolved around a woman getting mysterious calls. I'm glad I had seen no trailers and did not know the gist of the plot becuase it went places I really was not expecting. One of the most fun thrillers I've seen in a while. So, I'm not going to talk about the movie but what I will say is that Jeon Jong-seo, who played the woman in Burning is in this, she was great in Burning and she's great in this. After watching it I googled her to see what else she's been in that I can watch and this is only her 2nd film. Apparently Burning was her first audition EVER and she BOOKED IT! Like, one a million success story right? But she deserves it cause she's great and I look forward to seeing what else she does.

14. Possessor

This was directed by Brandon Cronenberg, the son of David Cronenberg, big shoes to fill, and I think he's going to fill them fine cause this is already a cult classic in my opinion. The visuals in this, which look like they were mainly created with practical and in camera effects. There is some very graphic very realistic violence in this. The movie is about an assassin who works for an organization and uses some type of scientific process to "possess" people to carry out hits. When she's in a body for too long who's in control starts to blur. It's really fucking trippy, like a fucked up Black Mirror episode.

13. Borat 2

Been a fan of Sacha since the old Da Ali G Show days when Borat was just a side character. I'm amazed with out Sacha can stay in character the way he does, especially when later on in the movie he shelters in place with some Qanon conservatives with who knows how long staying in character. Maybe they'll reveal they were paid actors who knows, but whatever I fucking laughed a lot at this movie. There's a black woman in this movie that I hope to god was not an actress cause I loved her and her reactions so much. It was a breath of fresh air to watch something that's just goofy in 2020 because it wasn't a good year for comedy. As much as I love film sometimes I got a little fatigue from watching so many things with very heavy themes, this also had heavy themes it was satirizing, but also chimp pornstar jokes, so..  a fun time.

12. A Sun

A drama about a family's eldest son going to juvenile detention for his involvement in a violent crime. We see how his father, his mother, his brother and his pregnant girlfriend all deal with this. I found it very engaging. My only gripe is that there are some moments of levity where they use this really generic comedy music score it and it really takes you out of the film. No music at all is better than bad generic music. Other than that I really loved it and the ending is great. I really thought this would end up in my top 10 but the following films just had more personal relevance or were more fun to watch.

11. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

R.I.P. Chadwick Boseman, this movie is like an acting showcase for him, he has so many great monologues here, the ending really took the wind out of me. It's also packed with really still relevant commentary on race.

10. Onward

You already expect a Pixar movie to make you cry, but this came from angle I was NOT expecting and I bawled hard at this. This movie was so applicable to my life experience it's like they specifically engineered it to make me personally cry. Honestly there are better movies lower on this list, but movies are just like any other art, when a song touches you on a personal level it doesn't need to have complex instrumentation cause it's how it made you feel that matters.

09. Palm Springs

A comedy released during a pandemic about trying to find stimulation and meaning when every day is the same thing? Ya don't say! Another take on Groundhog Day, which at this point I feel like it's its on genre with the amount of times the concept has been done, but I'm not complaining, I typically enjoy a good time loop movie (or show; Russian Doll). I don't know what else to say besides that it's really funny and Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti are both charming and great in it.

08. Scare Me

This movie was funny, creepy, the performances were great, and it's just really unique and clever. Written, directed, produced, and starring Josh Ruben, who I know primarily does really idiosyncratic "impressions" on instagram. It's 2 people alone in a cabin telling each other scary stories, they don't cut away to the stories you just watch them act it out. 4 people in the cast, one location, and it still manages to be a fun ride of a movie and manages to touch on some good themes in the overall story. I really hope to see Josh Ruben direct more films because I think he's really creative.

07. Ride Your Wave

A romantic comedy about a woman trying to find joy and purpose in her life. I often go into movies very cold, so I didn't know much about what this movie was about, just knew that it was from an animation studio and director that I really respected. It's very beautiful, very grounded, until it's not. Kind of movie that breaks your heart so it can uplift you later.

06. Uncle Frank

I really did not expect a lot from movie, not that I thought it would be bad, I just thought it be your middle of the road movie. It's about a teenage girl who really looks up to her uncle who she learns is a closeted gay man, in an era where that was potentially dangerous to be. They go on a road trip home when his father dies and learn about each other and themselves, it sounds kinda cookie cutter, but it really surprised me. Paul Bettany is so very good in this, and it made me cry. Easy way to get on high on this list is to make me cry lol.

05. Children of the Sea

This film had to be in my top 5 because I'm an animation nerd and this is one of the most beautiful animated films ever. Ever. It's right up there with Akira and the Ghibli catalogue, and the works of Satoshi Kon, and all the Disney movies and everything else. It focuses on details and nuances in a really gorgeous way. The story is VERY ambiguous and gets very metaphysical towards the end, the climax is like watching an acid trip. It's about a girl who meet 2 young boys who have adapted to living underwater, and they form a bond, and then... uh... there's no way I can concisely explain it. The creator has said it's not supposed to be understood logical, instead it's supposed to be felt. There's a lot of symbolism and metaphor, it's very philosophical and explores themes of connection and the cycle of life. It's produced by Studio 4°C, which is my favorite animation studio because they really push the envelope, they're responsible for Mind Game, Tekkonkinkreet, and the recent Mutafukaz, and other, if you've never heard of any of those definitely look them up, they're unlike any anime you've ever watched before. Anyway, beautiful movie and the cryptic plot allows for you to rewatch it multiple times and take different things away from it. I can't wait to own it on blu-ray.

04. 37 Seconds

I saw this very early in the year and love it. It's about a young woman with cerebal palsy who is also an aspiring hentai artist trying to get laid. Her mother who takes care of her like a child smothers her, so it's not only about trying to get laid but trying to have some independence. Firstly the performance of this woman who actually does have cerebral palsy and is a first time actor is so natural and endearing, secondly there are things they portray with an uncomfortable amount of realism and awkwardness that it really draws you in to the nitty gritty of her reality and what it can be like for someone who is wheelchair bound to try to have sexual experiences. I like that there were 2 films this year about characters in wheelchairs that used unknown actresses that face the same things their characters do, it adds to the authenticity of either film. Films like this are why I think diversity in film is not just about doing something for the demographic you're depicting but also giving everyone else not of that demographic new unique stories and perspectives.

03. Soul

I guess spoilers if you haven't seen this because it's easier to talk about why I liked it if I talk specifically about the plot. I wasn't expecting much from this when the initial trailer dropped, it made it seem like it was going to largely take place in this imaginary soul place with these blue things, and for most of the first act it seemed like that's what it was going to be, but when they come back to earth and the story really starts I really started enjoying it. This movie tricks you into thinking the film is about finding or fulfilling your purpose, only to throw a curveball that living life in and of itself is the "purpose", and this movie resonated so much with thoughts that were already on my mind. I relate so much to Joe as a creative person myself with so many unfulfilled dreams, at 36yrs old, having to put many of my goals on the backburner just to survive, and generally having that feeling that I'm still waiting to live life because I'm not fulfilling my "purpose". Sure reaching for goals is great, but I think our culture breeds this idea that happiness is a destination, an accomplishment, a certain amount of recognition, a monetization of your passion. I really loved how the film depicted that there's a dark side to focusing on your passions and how it can become a source of stress and unhappiness. This movie is just about savoring life itself, which people have been expressing through platitudes since forever but this film illustrated it in a way that words fail at, and that's what makes film such a great form of art.

02. Sound of Metal

This movie had one of the best trailers of 2020, I couldn't wait to watch this movie. FIrst of all I love RIz Ahmed and think he's an underrated and underutilized actor, he's fucking amazing in this, he needs an Oscar nom FOR SURE. His frustration is so palpable and he feels so natural in this movie. It follows a metal punk drummer who loses his hearing and goes to stay in a deaf community to acclimate. One thing I think is absolutely brilliant about this movie is the sound design. I'm not deaf so I can't speak from any type of experience, but they try to replicate what going deaf sounds like, what the audiologist tests sound like, what hearing aids and cochlear implants sound like, it's very immersive. I almost think of it like a companion piece to Soul, cause I had almost the same take away, it's just coming from it at a different angle.

01. I'm Thinking Of Ending Things

Okay, so I’m going to have a lot to say about this movie.

Maybe a very controversial pick for my number one because so many people absolutely hated this movie, lol. I am biased given that I'm a huge fan of Charlie Kaufman, he's my favorite screenwriter, and his films have only gotten weirder and weirder, so I know to expect the unexpected when going into one of his films. I can understand how this would be an offputting experience if you're expecting the conventions of normal narrative structure. It was surprising and perplexing to me how this film unfolded but I've watched non-narrative and experimental films before so I was intrigued rather than frustrated. You think it's about a woman who is thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend as they head to meet his parents. Once we get to his childhood home things start getting surreal, and that surrealism just escalates to the point where you realize this film is not at all attempting to depict reality and doesn't even have any continuity. This is the most a movie has ever felt like one of my dreams. I don't know how other people dream but this was so much like every weird nightmare I've ever had where I feel trapped in a situation. 

There's a scene where the family is talking about art, the dad says he hates abstract art because it takes no skill, he prefers paintings that look like photographs because that takes real skill, the son asks why make a painting look like a photograph when you can just take a photograph, the woman states she paints pictures of landscapes and tries to imbue them with a sense of interiority, capturing the way she feels, the dad asks how can a landscape be sad if you don't have a person in it looking sad. I felt like this was a bit of meta commentary on the film itself. After I watched this movies I had my own theories, I watched some analysis videos on youtube that confirmed a lot of my ideas and gave me insight on other parts of the film, I watched the film again and formulated more ideas, it's so dense with things to project meaning onto and interpret it. I went on instagram and ended up having lengthy discussions about what the film meant both with people who loved it and hated it. Everybody I spoke with had slightly different interpretations and takeaways. One woman who initially did not like it came away with an appreciation for it after we had a lengthy discussion about it's meaning. 

All of this is why it's my favorite film of the year, not only did I relate to it on a personal level because I'm in a stage of my life where I'm approaching middle ages and afraid I'm going to end up like the guy in this film, but I can't remember the last time a film led to such meaningful conversation about life, death, love, mental health, loneliness, trauma, etc. So like the scene where they're talking about art, I think this movie is neither intended to be abstract or realistic, it's supposed to be imbued with a sense of interiority. I know I sound way pretentious right now, but I just really appreciated Charlie Kaufman for making something unabashedly expressionist and serving it up to mainstream audiences. I really feel like I grow as a person and an artist every time I watch one of his films.

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So there ya go. That’s it. That concludes this arbitrary exercise in ranking the movies i saw last year, thank you for wasting your time on this, lol. I think it was a very good year for movies. 

If there was a movie you were expecting to see on the list and it’s missing I just didn’t get to it in 2020, I may do an unranked follow up list of 2020 movies I missed in 2020, maybe.

That’s it.

End of post.

Bye.

[kurogabae]

TSUBASA: TRAINWRECK CHRONICLES

And How Bee Train is Single-Handedly Propagating Cancel Culture in This the Year of Our Lord 2020

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 – PART 4 -- PART 5 

[[ join me on PillowFort. i have free invite codes if you need an account ]]

So last post was all filler episodes and we're well into season two of this, and I cannot stress this enough, two season anime. The only canon arc we've had was Piffle so far and it was poorly handled and out of order. Surely, absolutely surely, we are in for a canon arc. Shara perhaps? Skip right to Le Court? We all know they'd never dare touch Tokyo. How are they going to pad out the rest of the season?

Why another filler. A bad filler. The dreaded filler that goes against pretty much all of Fai's everything.

It's "A Date With a Wizard" and Kurogane isn't the one getting the date. If you haven't watched or heard of this episode before, buckle up kids. It's a doozy. And big spoiler warnings ahead.

Fort City Bit AKA Fai Dates His Own Fucking Mom (but like an AU version so it's okay I guess???):

You read that right. Fai goes on a date with this world's version of Chii, who was an artificial being he modeled after his dead mother. I could end the rant here but oh, there is so much to this. So much. It's only one episode long but it feels like an eternity.

The premise for magic use in this world is that:

Everyone has magic and that magic is specialized

Your career path is based on your magic's specialization. Like in MLP with cutie marks. And everyone is Fine with this.

Everyone recharges their magic via the sun, which is risen by their king

The king is chosen yearly after everyone in the country has the same fucking dream one night

The whole country runs on magic, to the point that if there is no magic there is no food, no power, no anything. But that's fine, because every day they get recharged by the sun. Right? WRONG! Because the current king is being a depressed little shit and refuses to raise the sun, effectively dooming the country to a slow death. Neat.

BUT BEFORE ALL OF THAT! The episode opens with Fai having a nightmare about Ashura looming like he's auditioning for a role in Attack on Titan. Vague and menacing, which is literally all we know about Ashura because we know nothing about Fai's past. And we never will. At least not in anime-land. No one knows anything. The manga isn't pulling this fakey flashback shit, so why is the anime? I don't know, but I hate it!

Anyway, the family gets the low down from Touya and Yukito - who still do not recognize Sakura and that upsets me because of the implications that there is no Sakura in this universe. (Sidenote: Kurogane recognizes them, even though he's never met them in the anime so far so honestly, just fuck everything.) While Touya is feeding them a frankly lavish meal that he's magiced up he explained their king problems. This leads to my next issue - if you're so worried about running out of magic why are you using it so flippantly and in such an extra ass way? Can you not make normal food? Does it only exist in magic form? Maybe just summon some soup? Does all food cost the same amount of mana? THIS MAGIC SYSTEM IS BAD!

So, back to the whole the king is too sad to raise the sun which powers everyone's magic which is now beginning to run low. Another problem I have. You get a recharge on your magic everyday. They have not gotten ANY recharges for, and I'm quoting here, months. They change kings every year. So even on the low end of things we're looking at 3-4 months before anyone got concerned about the king just. Not raising the sun. Personally, I would have gotten worried after a few days, a week at most. No one wanted to go and find out like "Hey your highness, why no sun? What's got you down?"

That, however, would be logical. This is a place of magic and whimsy! Not logic. Fai is asked to use his magic to figure out what is wrong with their king. Predictably, he tells them they have a better chance of meeting god, so everyone gets thrown in jail. Because refusing to solve a country's weird problems is illegal. Not that jail has ever stopped them before. Not with Kurogane and his muscles around. And while I am always up for watching Kurogane break things I do have to wonder - why are they not just warping free? Mokona said there was no feather. No one said anything about being magically held back. And yet, they are running through the castle, endangering themselves and the children!!!

Obviously this is For Plot Reasons, and I use the words "plot" and "reasons" loosely here.

Somehow the kitties and puppies get separated and Fai and Sakura end up surrounded by guards. Does Fai finally fight? Does he open that can of whoop ass we all know he's been saving? No. He leaps into the air and takes flight like some sort of stork. And while Fai's current cocky attitude is refreshing, he's working on some sort of idiot bimbo in a horror movie logic of "to escape the building I must do upstairs". This is not a man made to last on his own.

And, like Shrek to Fiona, the stairs lead him to the highest room in the tallest tower. Fai, then, promptly loses his shit as if he's not fully aware that doubles exist across the multiverse. Like, yeah, it would be a shock and anyone would be freaked out at the sudden surprise of it all, but Fai acts like he thinks he's stepped back into Celes. Like an idiot. He's better than this.

Now, we learn more things about this messed up king situation. Not only does everyone have a dream every year electing the new monarch, but the new king gets their memory erased for the whole year so that they can "rule with a pure heart" or some shit. Which seems like a baaaad fucking way to run.... anything. At all. Ever. Might as well pick up a fresh baby and put it in charge. It's bad. And it gets worse.

Chii is sad, but she wants to hang out with Fai and it's the first time she's shown any interest in doing anything but being Sad so her babysitter spirits are all like "Oh that's neat!" And Fai takes this is his chance to just... run off for a night on the town with her? They literally vanish and leave Sakura ALONE IN THE CASTLE WITH THE SAME SPIRITS WHO JAILED THEM. In what fucking universe????

Look, they are trying so so so so so so hard to sell this FaiChii shit. Fai leaves Sakura alone in a castle where they have just busted out of jail, he has no idea where or how Kurogane and Syaoran are, he's clearly uncomfortable around Chii as she reminds him of what he's running from, and, oh yeah, she's a copy of his dead mother he created in another world in order to comfort him and his dead brother as a child. Everything is Fine. Let's go get tea.

I'm gonna rapid fire some S tier bullshit:

no one knows where Chii has taken Fai - why is there no way to track your baby-brained king?

Fai leaves with Chii happily and cheerily, again, leaving Sakura behind and alone - who is this man because it isn't Fai

the only clue they have to Fai and Chii's location is that they are no longer on castle grounds, yet somehow Syaoran knows Exactly Where to Look - because sure why not?

Chii doesn't know how to drink???? - does this happen with every king? do they have to be potty trained too? omg they really are babies this is a terribly way to run a country!!!!!!

teaching someone basic life functions is not romantic but Bee Train sure wants us to think it is

"I want to stay with Fai forever and always." - at least he panics at commitment still... and probably incest

“I should be thanking you. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way.” - What? Uncomfortably reminded of your past and why your life is just shy of a living hell? Who are you? You are not Fai

Kurogane and Syaoran show up to save Fai and Chii, who have been surrounded by guards (I think, I can't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure they're there to take her back to the castle and her Sad Room). Fai apparently won't fight in front of Chii but whatever at this point.

It comes out that Chii is an artificial soul/being (like the Chii in Celes) and because of that she cannot leave the town or she DIES and that means the king dies and I guess they don't have a back up plan for that. Unsurprising but bad. Still, Chii begs Fai to take her away and show her the world and Fai like... hesitates? Thinks about it? Considers it?!?!? I dunno but he doesn't automatically say "Uh no, you'll die and also I have other shit to do, bye" and that's dumb for a lot of reasons.

Eventually he tells her no and convinces her to bring the sun back and be happy because she'll be able to remember him or some shit (you know, unless they take those memories too!) and  they all say goodbye. And I couldn't be more thankful.

Honestly, the real MVP here is Kurogane for not just losing his shit at all of this like I have. He's a better man than I.

Tune in next time as I continue to scream, in vain, at god.

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 – PART 4 -- PART 5

#tsubasa chronicle #TRC #my meta #tsubasa trainwreck chronicles #CLAMP #god will not answer for allowing these crimes to exist #and therefore will never be allowed peace by me

[safyresky]

Rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag some people. I was tagged by @mellomadness and I’m gonna use “shows” to mean “cartoons too” so this is gonna be a TRAINWRECK but FUN, ENJOY! And ty for the tag Mello! :D

1. Doctor Who

2. Tangled: the Series/Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure

3. Steven Universe

4. Amphibia

5. Ducktales 2017

Who is your favourite character in 2? Eugene! You know when people are like I STAN? Okay well there is only 1 character I will ever say that about and it is Eugene “Flynn Rider” Fitzherbet, I LOVE him

Who is your least favourite character in 1? Rose tbh, I know, hot take but she was always my least favourite. Clara’s a close second but she got a LOT better with 12 and I LOVED her send off so much TT_TT

What is your favourite episode of 4? I’m only like. 6 episodes in but if definitely has to be “Anne Theft Auto”, it made me laugh the most and I quite liked how they transferred car logic to the giant bugs the frogs use as vehicles!

What is your favourite season of 5? Season 1, I think! It has my favourite episodes in it and that’s literally the only reason why

Who is your favourite couple in 3? This is a HARD ONE because Garnet is GR8 but I love Steven and Connie and Rose/Greg is super sweet, especially after learning Greg’s backstory in SU Future and also, Pearl/Bismuth came outta NOWHERE and I LOVE IT! The Bismuth Casual episode? OH LORD! 

Who is your favourite couple in 2? Eugene and Rapunzel, I freaking LOVE them. Their ship name is New Dream and if that doesn’t make you sob idk what will tbh

What is your favourite episode of 1? “The Unicorn and the Wasp”. Ten and Donna? CHECK! Comedic? CHECK! Fun time period? CHECK. The Doctor really acting alien when he stops himself from being poisoned? HELL YEAH! The more alien the Doctor is in an episode the more I love it--probably why I love Ten’s run so much!

What is your favourite episode of 5? The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains! I love Goldie and Scrooge soo much and seeing how Goldie played them all? EXCELLENT! Their love story? SUPERB!

What is your favourite season of 2? Ouuu that’s an excellent question! I think season 2! I loved the travelling caravan and how much world we got to see and the shenanigans :D

How long have you watched 1? Since 2014 or 2015! I started watching just after Twelve’s first series! So 2014, and I spent 2013/2014 marathoning it because I saw some gifs of Twelve and went “that’s my Doctor” and HAD to get to him (and I did and he is very much My Doctor. Do they still do that? The who was ur first doctor and who was ur doctor as in Your Doctor? Because if so, Ten was my first but Twelve was MY Doctor)

How did you become interested in 3? Saw a few clips and gifs on my dash when it first came out, as well as a trailer just before that! Marathoned the first 20ish episodes (bc that’s all that were out at the time!) during my summer at home and the rest is history!

Who is your favourite actor in 4? Shit fam idk, it’s a cartoon (tho I love hearing Brenda Song again!)

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? Doctor Who, 100% and no I will not elaborate

Which show have you seen more episodes of - 1 or 3? I’m gonna take a wild guess and say Doctor Who because I THINK New Who has more episodes than Steven Universe/SU Future 🤔. And also because I have rewatched my favourite DW episodes SOO MUCH

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? Happy background froggo! Not involved in shenanigans, living my froggy life, etc :)

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? I want to say NO but I think maybe it could work 🤔🤔🤔 idk how though!

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? Why Would You Ask Me This About Doctor Who, FUCK uhhhhh. I wanna say Missy and Twelve but I don;t think they’re unlikely but strangely okay, I think they’re EXCELLENT and were CLOSE before Missy’s past literally stabbed her in the back! Mickey and Martha! There’s an unlikely but okay match! When I watched that scene in Ten’s v last episode I was like “Oh! Wow! Unlikely but strangely, okay! I dig it!” They both deserved better! Seriously don’t get me STARTED on the way they were treated, ESPECIALLY Martha, I’m super mad about it bc I recently rewatched Series 3 and OH LAWD, RTD MAY CATCH THESE F I S T S 

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THIS! Ducktales has had lovely season to season storylines, all very well done, but Steven Universe had an overarching storyline that was wrapped nicely and then given a VERY CATHARTIC END IN SU FUTURE! So I’m going to have to go with Steven Universe, sorry Ducktales Lads

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4?

Amphibia for sure. I love the intro, it’s a lovely instrumental! I love the way RTA/TTS did the score and such, but Amphibia’s intro is NICE

This was a lot of fun! May redo it with actual TV Shows, with Humans, in Live Action, but I haven’t caught up on the ones I usually watch and there’s a couple I’d like to start and YEAH.

double tagging @shittyelfwriter! @dona-in-character, maybe you’d enjoy this? :D And anyone else who wants to do this! 

And also @someheroescarryfloss cause you said go for it so I’m going for it >:D

#shush Dani #text #long post #tag games #about me #seriously followers LET ME KNOW IF YOU GUYS LIKE TAG GAMES #AND I WILL HAPILY TAG YOU #HAPPILY* I AM TYPING TOO FAST

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 WORST Movies Of 2018!

As everyone is talking about their favorite and least favorite films of last year, I’d much rather take a look at what came out two years ago! This is what I do every New Year, get used to it. And keep in mind that I haven’t seen every film from 2018, so as bad as I’m sure Sherlock Gnomes and Pacific Rim: Uprising are, I haven’t gotten around to them. If you’d like a list of every film I have seen, I have them listed on my Letterboxd: https://drive.google.com/uc?id=1HnDnQ4ibO82ryM9lOCGgw1FZhVLdC4SZ

#10. Fifty Shades Freed On my 2015 list, I didn’t even bother putting Fifty Shades Of Grey on it because I thought it was absolutely hilarious! On my 2017 list, I placed Fifty Shades Darker at the very top for its lack of even the basics of what makes a decent flick, notably there being no real plot. So I guess I’m meeting this franchise in the middle by putting Fifty Shades Freed at the tenth spot for just how batshit this movie is. Shit kinda just happens randomly with little to no reason while also not being funny in the slightest. In fact, large segments of the film is kinda boring, particularly the sex scenes in which there are so many that by the 20th time, you’d just get used to it like a jump scare in Winchester. Really, the biggest reason this is only at #10 is because Fifty Shades Freed has Freed us all from this series, assuming that a film adaptation of Grey isn’t made. And that’s the greatest compliment I’ve ever given to one of these movies. #9. A Wrinkle In Time I once heard someone justify Disney’s live action remakes by saying they help fund their more unique film escapades like Nutcracker And The Four Realms (which barely didn’t make the list). The problem with that is that I don’t want those ether! And considering how Solo and The Rise Of Skywalker turned out, maybe Disney’s live action department should just stick with Marvel movies. Honestly, I don’t completely remember why I left the theater after seeing A Wrinkle In Time so angry, like legitimately pissed off. I remember the girl who looks like one of the Mean Girls being treated like a member of the Losers Club, how terrible the child acting was, how even worse the adult acting was, how annoying everybody who wasn’t Chris Pine was, and how that little kid was named Charles Wallace because the characters said it at least a million times! Considering how angry I am just writing about it, I’m guessing it was a combination of all of those elements being wrapped up with a pretentious bow. Honestly, A Wrinkle In Time was a humongous waste of my time. #8. Show Dogs It’s a bad sign when the movie starring Bojack Horseman yelling at Ludacris dog is only at #8 on my list. The big reason for that is because this is so terrible that I had to break down laughing at times. Not because Show Dogs is genuinely or ironically funny, it’s just so batshit insane that I had to laugh. Almost like a defense reflex: like if I wasn’t laughing, I’d end up jumping off the roof. The plot is crazy, the acting is crazy, the whole fucking idea is crazy! I’d like you to stop and imagine Will Arnett with the straightest face possible yelling at a dog voiced by Ludacris that nobody can actually hear in the middle of a very serious police station about the dog fucking up an undercover job and somehow not laughing your ass off. That is what it was like watching Show Dogs. You’re welcome. #7. Slender Man I think people really downgrade how good horror has been lately. I know that in a world of Insidious: The Last Key and Truth Or Dare, it’s easy to be pessimistic. And I think people also dismiss the greatness the internet has had on modern pop culture. Considering how bad things like Daphne And Velma and Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle are, I kinda get it. In reality, these tend to be the outliers among a lot of greatness, but after seeing Slender Man, I’m starting to think similarly. I was one of the only people who was actually excited about this movie because I’m young enough to remember a time when Slender Man: The Eight Pages was the scariest thing in the world and after seeing how well Hollywood treated the character in Beware The Slender Man, I was really hopeful. Little did I know that Madhouse Entertainment had one of the least interesting and least scary horror movies I’ve ever seen with boring characters, a monster that’s barely in the movie, and a script that’s closer to Rings than it is to its source material. I really hope this’ll go the way of Ouija and Annabelle and end up having a really good followup or else Slender Man will be a huge blot on the legitimacy of the internet. #6. Snake Outta Compton I’m gonna be straight with y’all, I have been doing a pretty bad job at keeping up with horror B-movies lately. I mean, I did watch The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time and Leprechaun Returns but those were mostly just mediocre, even within the context of the rest of their franchises. So when I saw the title Snake Outta Compton, I knew I had to watch it expecting something really stupid and funny as all hell. Instead I got a boring and uninteresting barely even an attempt at cinema. I really hated this film, it’s just such a boringly dull film where little to nothing ever happens and I hated every dumb second of it. The terrible rapping, the awful effects, the horrendous acting, everything in snake Outta Compton sucks and I hate it. #5. Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom Remember that god awful polar bear movie starring Rob Schneider from a few years ago… yeah, they made four of those. Normal people would say the first Norm Of The North was the absolute bottom of the barrel, I say “No!… It’s Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom,” and even more suicidal people would probably say it’s Norm Of The North: King Sized Adventure. If you thought the animation in the original was bad, you’ve seen nothing! This is so bad that I’m not even sure it should be considered animation! This is so bad that it makes Duck Duck Goose look like The Grinch! This is so bad that they couldn’t even get Rob Schneider back! The plot, it’s like this is one of those straight to DVD Disney sequels that were made up of episodes of conceled TV shows except why would anyone try to make Norm Of the FUCKING North into a TV show! But apparently it made money considering how (and I’ll repeat this again) there are four of these! Maybe the immense failure of Arctic Dogs will stop Entertainment Studios from making any more. #4. The Thinning: New World Order Speaking of sequels that’ll make the originals look like masterpieces, we’ve got Logan Paul’s magnum opus, coming straight outta that Japanese suicide forest. A film that tells you that a country made up of the smartest 95% of citizens are stupid enough to not catch on to the pretty obvious government plan going on in this universe. Even more so, apparently presidents to be are allowed to just make major laws that’ll arrest about 50% of the population before being sworn in as president. But even more so, I’m to believe that Logan Paul of all people is smart enough to escape these poorly conceived concentration camps. This is a key example of suspension of disbelief gone too far. I don’t believe for a second that this world actually could exist. And I want everyone reading this to remember The Thinning: New World Order after seeing what I put at number one that even liberals can make terrible movies too! #3. The 15:17 To Paris No shit, this is easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen in theaters. No joke, no sarcasm, the Clint Eastwood trainwreck that is The 15:17 To Paris is by far one of the worst movies of the decade… and it’s only at #3 on my bottom 10 of the year. Let me explain. Where the absolute bottom of the barrels of the year are total slogs that I wouldn’t be able to stand watching again, this is actually really fun to watch. Immediately after seeing it in theaters, I wanted to see it again just to make sure it wasn’t a fever dream. In every conversation I have, I recommend this movie because it has to be seen to be believed. Of all the films on this list, this is the only one I’d actually recommend to people. No other film has the balls to portray three normies with ADD talking as boringly as possible taking selfies in Venice for 30 minutes for no goddamn reason. In no other movie will you see a bunch of comedians try and do serious roles that they had no right being casted in. When I went back to school and brought this up with my film nerd friends, every one of them had a different story of watching this. My god, please watch The 15:17 To Paris so that we can convince Clint Eastwood into making The 15:18 To Paris. #2. Gotti Let me tell ya, Gotti is one of the wurst felms ya’ll evar see! Who in da hell convinced John Travolta that he culd do serious roles! But in all seriousness, this movie sucks. I’m not super familiar with the story of John Gotti, and by that I mean I’ve never even heard the name before seeing this film. And I’m pretty sure that to even get what’s going on in this, you’d have to see a 3 hour documentary on the guy beforehand or else you’d be incredibly confused the entire time because I know I was! Don’t even ask me what happens in Gotti because I have no clue. It goes all over the place with different characters doing different things at different points in time and eventually, I stopped paying attention! I do remember that there were about 20 characters named “John,” John Gotti only kills one guy though I’m pretty sure that as a mob boss he’d kill more, and I have no idea how this mafia makes money. Oh, and this convicted feline is apparently also Jesus Christ. I’ll tells yas, ya can live 100 yeers an neva see a moovy as bad as Gotti. Before we get to #1, let’s do some runners up!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom I wanted so bad to put this on the list because as a pretty big Jurassic Park fan, I can fairly say that Fallen Kingdom is easily the worst film in the franchise. If only because of that dumb ass twist at the end with that kid I kinda forgot even existed. Or just for those annoying ass comedic reliefs that are consistently useless. Or just because on a base filmmaking level, this movie sucks. Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate Listen, I’m openly and proudly bisexual, so I get how important it is to get good representation out there in the film industry. And I also get why a lot of the Ru Paul: Drag Race fandom has latched onto this series. But Jesus Christ guys, drag queens can do better and they deserve better. From Russia With Hate is definitely a step in the right direction with it being way more interesting and fun than the first Hurricane Bianca… but come on guys! These aren’t good movies! Just watch more Drag Race, it’s much better. The Happytime Murders Disney, please let Muppets Now be good! The puppetry artform deserves better than this garbage! The Happytime Murders is a movie in which half the jokes is that a puppet is jizzing a lot. Honestly, my biggest beef with this film is that it doesn’t even get to the heart of what people love about the Jim Henson style of puppetry, notably the fun. Look at most of the cast, they are very humanoid compared to Kermit The Frog or Fozzy Bear. This movie is, first and foremost, not fun. Bob Lazar: Area 51 And Flying Saucers This is my nomination for worst documentary of the year. It’s just annoying to me that this guy can get away with lying to so many people without any repercussions. In fact, he gets this whole documentary that’s basically sucking his dick the entire time! I went in expecting something along the lines of Behind The Curve, a doc that takes an even stance at looking at its crazy subject matter but in a respectful way. In reality, Area 51 And Flying Saucers isn’t even in the slightest being totally on Bob Lazar’s side without questioning his all knowing wisdom for a second and is n’t respectful in the slightest for the intelligence of its viewers! Fuck this doc! A Simple Favor This is my nomination for best worst movie of the year. A Simple Favor is a crazy film with a cast and crew taking it weirdly seriously for a comedy, all with super monotone voices. None of the actual jokes are genuinely funny but lots of them are ironically hilarious. Granted I was very high while watching this, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best state of mind to be in while watching it! And did I mention how nobody acts during this but rather just say their lines monotonely! Loved it! God’s Not Dead: A Light In Darkness This was the year Christian propaganda got boring. I was so excited when I went to see I Can Only Imagine in theaters as my first theatrical Christian film experience only to be totally disappointed when it turned out to be pretty dull. Even more so when, later on in the year, the newest installment in the world famous God’s Not Dead franchise, the same one that first brought upon this new age of Christian based filmmaking that’s brought me so much joy before, turned out to be similarly dull. There was a split moment when a character states, “Jesus Christ was the original social justice warrior,” when I was brought back to life with its own stupidity, but it turned out to be fleeting. Not outrageous enough to be put on the list, but too outrageous to be any good. So this is how God’s Not Dead ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper. The Meg And speaking of boring, The Meg has to be the most boring shark movie ever made. A film that feels like it lasts for days and in which no real stakes feel like are in play. This has got to be the most boring and dull and uninteresting and BORING movie of the year! And considering how boring of a year it was for film, that’s saying a goddamn lot! Mary Poppins Returns I feel like I went through an arc of my own while watching this. I went from, “this isn’t bad,” to, “okay, this is a little too much like the original,” to, “why the fuck am I watching this?” Mary Poppins Returns feels like one of the Disney live action remakes because it’s basically just a shittier version of the original with absolutely no good reason to exist let alone to watch, especially compared to said original. And the climax makes absolutely no sense with the logic of the film universe; she can literally fly! And by god, does this feel like anything but Mary Poppins. Blockers Listen, I get that this film is sex positive and that’s a really great thing and all the actors are really trying their best. But it is all in vain for this film with a really unfunny script and that’s kinda important for a comedy. Sometimes Blockers can get a chuckle out of me because of how over the top it can get at times but those are just outliers in a mostly mediocre movie that got built up too much because of how much positivity is in this. Proud Mary Proud Mary is the perfect example of a film in which just because someone can do it well, doesn’t mean everyone can. Ever since Quentin Tarantino has been making movies like Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill, throw back action films have been really cool to see. Then, all of a sudden, the director of London Has Fallen had to come around and remind everyone that they can’t all be winners. Mostly dull dialogue between characters I don’t care about waiting for the action that isn’t even all that good. I was really hopeful that Proud Mary would be fun, but it’s anything but. #1. The Trump Prophecy Listen, I get that when I say that a movie literally titled The Trump Prophecy is the worst film of the year, it comes off as if I’m making a big political statement but believe me, I am not. Politically, admittedly, I am pretty liberal but I’m not really a political dude. But I do know terrible filmmaking when I see it, and believe it or not, a film about a crazy firefighter who gets a vision in his sleep from a god orb that Donald Trump must be president might not be very good. In fact, fuck this cynical, piece of shit, taking advantage of conservatives, monotonely acted, with no love or passion put into it, goddamn movie! As much as I didn’t like any of the movies I’ve mentioned on this list, it’s clear someone, anyone, was passionate about making them. But considering how clearly the director never asked any of his actors to do a second take, no love is clearly put into this. How cynical, how shameless. As someone who does genuinely love the art of filmmaking and would adore the opportunity to make a relatively big budget movie myself, the fact that something as lifeless as The Trump Prophecy gets to be put into any theaters really pisses me off. Say what you want about The 15:17 To Paris, at least it had its heart in the right place. Say what you want about Gotti, at least John Travolta was obviously passionate about the project. This has nothing and is easily the most hatable film I’ve seen in years!

#the trump prophecy #gotti #the 15:17 to paris #the meg #mary poppins returns #blockers #god's not dead: a light in darkness #i can only imagine #proud mary #a simple favor #bob lazar: area 51 and flying saucers #sherlock gnomes #pacific rim: uprising #norm of the north: keys to the kingdom #jurassic world: fallen kingdom #hurricane bianca: from russia with hate #the thinning new world order #mowgli: legend of the jungle #velma and daphne #slender man #winchester #truth or dare #insidious: the last key #the happytime murders #duck duck goose #the grinch #snake outta compton #the last sharknado: it's about time #leprechaun returns #show dogs