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wangxianficfinder · 2 months

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In the mood for...

Feb 20th

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1. Hello, when you do the next itmf could you please rec some fics that shows wangxian’s relationship progressing? And I don’t mean like friends to lovers or rivals to lovers or whatever, I mean like the actual relationship. Like them both at the start being all shy and giving each other gifts and learning what the other likes and dislikes, and then slowly gaining confidence in their relationship (in the physical aspect but also in the emotional aspect)

Thank you !!!

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 762k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) it’s not focused on the relationship but it’s a good part of it and they get together in the second chapter and it’s SUCH A GREAT STORY

💖🔒love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriages)

A Thousand Things by tickertape (M, 108k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX not adopted by Jiangs, developing friendships, miscommunication, misunderstangings, nightmares, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, WWX’s fear of dogs, slow burn, cultivation world bureaucracy)

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2. itmf fics that people refer wwx as lan er furan but it's m/m fics. thank uuuu.

Baby, You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet by TriviasFolly (E, 132k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Omega LSZ, Mafia, Crime, Sects are Clans, Feral WWX, Feral Omegas, Nurse WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Possessive LWJ, feminine WWX, wwx's cannon desire to be a sugar baby/trophy wife, Breeding Kink, Mpreg) Technically it's "mxy" being called Lan furen (bc wwx is hiding out as mxy) and it doesn't happen until a little later in the fic but it does show him trying to learn the furen duties and things

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3. any unrequited fics from lwj's side? not really unrequited more than works, but i just wanna see the pining.

temporarily unrequited.

not actually unrequited.

the tag search on aot doesn't really have a lot from lwj's side and even if it does, it's very minimum so i'm looking for some which are slightest bit heavy on the angst.

like lwj resigning to being his friend/enemy/stranger so he doesn't force his feels. just angst, possibly with a happy ending but also works if it isn't.

thank you so much!

When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending) I'm not sure if this is what they want but When the Words Stop Coming has LWJ reject WWX at first, then when he comes back, WWX rejects LWJ (kindly, but there's still a lot of angst). Happy ending tho

For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm (E, 170k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed LWJ, sex worker WWX, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Background ChengQing, background NieLan, background XuanLi, Nonbinary NHS)

you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX) are both good modern AUs from LWJ’s perspective where he PINES for a good portion of the story until they work things out!

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4. hi!! thanks for everything u do here!!! for the next itmf: canon divergence fics where wangxian get together early (eg, during the cloud recesses lectures, before/during the war or anytime before wwx's death) but wwx still dies (and gets resurrected) like in canon. arranged marriage, a/b/o, mpreg, all/any settings are fine!!

🧡 Like Rabbits by Setari (T, 41k, Kid fic, Canon rewrite, Mpreg, Miscarriage scare, Crack treated seriously, Hopeful ending)

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5. thank you for all your hard work! any modern setting fic recs where wwx has a modern setting equivalent of the golden core transfer for jc? can be an organ donation, can be him being a scapegoat for smth jc did, can also be a golden core transfer still as long as it's in a modern cultivation setting, etc. thank you in advance :)

🧡🔒 Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 160k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP) I am absolutely feral about this one and cannot recommend it enough!

💙 the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, modern culitvation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Sort Of, Getting Together, Confessions)

❤️ All Old Things are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 52k, wangxian, modern, reincarnation, sugar daddy, kink negotiation, gentle dom LWJ)

💙 this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending)

❤️ the best of you by sysrae (E, 41k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, slightly undernegotiated kink, but in a very soft and consensual way, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JFM and Madam Yu's A+ parenting, Dysfunctional Family, Mental Health Issues therapy is good actually, the most tender of railings, Reference to animal attacks/animal cruelty, descriptions of past violence)

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6. Hi thanks for all the work that you guys do !! I was just in the mood for fics where the juniors get to meet YLLZ!wwx !! I saw a fanart on twitter and since then I’ve had a massive craving for this :) thanks so much again !!

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

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7. hi! do you guys have any fics to rec where jiang cheng is the one who finds a-yuan and raises him? i don’t mind if lwj is there tbh but i really wanted to read a-yuan growing up in lotus pier. thank u! no jiang cheng/lan wangji shipping please! i’ll take them as friends, co-parents even qpps but no romantic relationship between them if possible @thwispsings

The Accidental Baby Acquisition Club by nerdzeword (T, 26k, jiang cheng & lan wangji, wangxian, Found Family, as in they find kids, and then they're family, JC and LWJ as reluctant best friends, coparenting with your brother in law, a surplus of bunnies, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Autistic Character, Nonbinary Character, Fluff)

none lives forever, brother, and nothing lasts for long by eena (M, 38k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LSZ raised at Lotus Pier, JC found him first, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation)

So Reluctant To Part by quietellen (Sociofemme) (G, 49k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, accidental resurrection, JC raises LSZ, Golden Core Reveal, Grief/Mourning, Injury, Recovery, WQ Lives, JYL Lives, NMJ Lives, XY Dies, JGY doesn't marry QS, Enemies to co-parents)

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8. hi! ITMF fics focusing on the Twin Jades of Lan? I just read “Turn Left” by kianspo and loved the focus on the brothers. Bonus points if Wangji and Xichen are described as actually looking like twins, but it isn’t necessary! Thank you!

and he sang about the stars by nenyanaryavilya (M, 29k, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, Brotherhood, Growing Up Together, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death)

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9. If there is any fix where wwx was harrassed by jin guanghan and then his family preferably lwj goes all feral @itzweiwuxian

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10. Hello! Thanks for your work! I am in the mood for fics exploring LWJ PTSD from the Sunshot War.

I was reading “Take My Breath Away” by MajiLovePrincess (E) and it’s briefly mentioned he gets startled by fireworks, and the concept fascinates me!

Thanks for you help!

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11. I'm itmf a good railing. Any new fics out with top LWJ and bottom wwx?

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12. Hiii, I’m looking for fics that are Jiāng Yànlí critical but don’t have the tag “Jiang Yanli bashing”

I reread the “A Matter of Time” series and I just need it lol. @kyuubikuroba

🔒The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 46k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Time Travel Fix-It, JC, Bashing Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Bashing Jiāng Family Bashing, YZY Bashing, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, Wooing, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, frankencanon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gūsū Lán Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

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13. hiii! i'm itmf some wangxian get-together during cr era? idk if that's too broad but idm if it's a oneshot or multichap. i just want wangxian realising their feelings much much earlier lol

Just Say Yes Series by edenwolfie (T/M, 338k, WangXian, Matchmaking, Pining, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, Fluff, First Kiss, Declarations Of Love, Humor, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Good Uncle LQR, Engagement, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It)

💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons by starandrea (G, 2k, WangXian, Accidental Marriage)

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14. Hi there! I am looking for fics where Wei Ying gets discouraged from pursuing Lan Zhan because he is not showing any reciprocation. I absolutely need there to be a happy ending because as much as I want to be in my feels for my Wangxian I don't want my soul crushed. Thank you! @professional-fangirl75

🔒a flower beyond the edge of the clouds by RoseThorne (T, 531, WangXian, Soulmates, Character Death, Red String of Fate, Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Misunderstandings, Angst, Rejection, Loss, 16 years of mourning, Regret, POV Third Person, POV LWJ)

Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You're an Asshole) by piecrust (E, 22k, WangXian, Porn with feelings, College/University)

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15. Hello! In the mood for fics where Wei Wuxian takes back his core from Jiang Cheng? Preferably in a big dramatic scene that reveals he gave it away in the first place? Thank you~!

Return to Sender by Thesaurus_with_no_words (M, 72k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Temporary Amnesia, Slow burn) there might not be dramatic scenes but here are some fics where JC loses WY's core

🔒 Flawed and Free by Vrishchika (E, 18k, wangxian, major character death, time travel fix-it, dark LWJ, dark LXC, dark gusu lan, temporary character death, not JC friendly, angst, hurt/comfort, WIP)

Having Enough (of your foolishness) by makexianxianhappytoday (T, 18k, wangxian, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, Wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Canon Divergence, CSSR and WCZ Live, Not Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Friendly, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, (but what are the consequences), not JC friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

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16. Hello! For the I’m in the Mood for a Fic, I recently read "say it's here where our pieces fall in place" by Lirelyn, where one chapter had an awesome poem quote. What other fics have poetry? They could be quoted in the beginning of the story, in the middle. I'm looking for anything, canon, modern, etc. I once read a fic that had a poem that gave the impression of a leaf that is uncurled to resemble a fist, but I don't remember what it was. @ihavetothinkofaname

❤️ Where the nightingales are singing, and a white moon beams. by Moominmammashandbag (M, 52k, wangixan, jin zixuan & lan wangji, no powers au, grief/mourning, aftermath of war, angst w/ happy ending, reunions, fluff & smut)

Chapter 5 of The Wild Geese's Tomb by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (T, 66k, wangxian, LXC/JGY, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, all women live no women die)

Gentle Exile by rynleaf (E, 9k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, References to Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Study, Epistolary, Post-Canon, Exploration, [PODFIC] Gentle Exile by flamingwell, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

To Love What Is Mortal by treemaidengeek (T, 22k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Grief/Mourning, Fluff and Angst, Healing, past 3Zun, past SongXiao, background WangXian, background SL & WN, & LSZ, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, [Podfic] To Love What Is Mortal by flamingwell)

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17. Hi! I have a request for the next ITMF- I'd love to see LWJ as plant parent! "Lavender Blue" from Anaphoricae and "in the blossom season (in the pouring rain)" from Varnes are a few of my favourites. Completed modern AUs, or Modern with magic are preferred, but I'll check out anything. Thank you for the work you do :D

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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agendratum · 9 months

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i lost it today while reading tgcf btw and wanted to share why, but first - some backstory

so, despite the homophobic laws getting worse and worse in our country by the day, russian edition of tgcf is getting published unaltered. mostly. with the first three books everything went extremely smoothly. after the last year's law there was even an official statement from the censorship committee that stated that no homosexual or transgender propaganda was found in the text (tho idk if by the time this statement was published they only submitted one book or the whole text, but let's hope). the first hiccup happened with the book 4.

the original cover for book 4 was stated to be unacceptable. the committee didn't approve of it even after the artist made some changes, de-gaying it slightly. it is just too obvious from that cover that the demon and the god are about to start violently making out exchanging energy in the temple and we just cannot have that in our beautiful christian country. so the artist very generously made an entirely new cover for our edition, here's for your reference

a funny note about this first image - the publisher made a statement regarding the cover change, and that they did everything they could and suggested all kind of options, but still were told that under not circumstances this image can be spread. and then they added that image to the post "for our reference". my heroes, to be honest

so even after this matter was settled, they just couldn't leave this poor scene alone. sometime before the book was ready to leave the print, the publisher made another statement, basically saying that no matter how they tried, they ended up having to alter one phrasing (not even a phrase - a phrasing). yeah, you guessed it, it was a bit from this scene with them violently making out exchanging energy in the temple.

it was sad, but at least we were warned and prepared. when i got to the, at this point, infamous scene, i could tell it wasn't changed too much. i don't know the original phrasing, but in the text it's still very obvious what they're doing, that is - exchanging energies. violently. with their lips. they just don't have words like "kiss" or "lips" in the text. but they're still doing it, you know, very. clearly.

they even reference the previous time "it" happened, which was in another book in another scene that was not altered, but they just mean exchanging energies of course. and that was what i thought! they took away like one or two words from the text, keeping the scene basically unchanged, but making it slightly low-key. so one could in theory say that, no, they were not making out, the energy transfers well enough through tight hugs. and bros hug. okay? that was what i thought.

until a couple of chapters later a bunch of cultivators show up on xie lian's porch and detect all that demonic energy. on his lips. and then xie lian thinks, oh no, who could have thought that all those embraces and kisses from the temple could have left marks like that.

like he thinks exactly that. embraces. and kisses.

AND THAT IS WHERE I LOST IT CAUSE WHAT WAS THE POINT

so anyway if anyone needed to add another coin into the jar of "censorship is stupid and homosexual propaganda is an arbitrary term that has no definition", you can have it, and may the gods exchange energies with the demons in your temple, good bye

#long post #reading things and stuff #tgcf spoilers #just in case?#chattering

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maaarine · 1 year

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The Tragedy of Heterosexuality (Jane Ward, 2020)

“Gay men, especially white gay men, are often the greatest defenders of the narrative about queer suffering, probably because they have more power and privilege to lose as a result of inhabiting a nonnormative sexual orientation (and sometimes a nonnormative gender).

Relatedly, gay men are also more likely than lesbians to embrace biological theories of sexual orientation and the corresponding claim that people are only gay because they have no choice in the matter.

These perspectives have drowned out lesbian feminist discussions about erotic agency and the appeal of queer joy, and they have prevented us from investigating the various ways that a woman might respond when, to use Cooper’s phrase, the privileges of straightness elude her.

It is my belief that gay men’s persistent ownership of the meaning and origins of queerness, along with many gay men’s lack of concern about the lives of women, has made it difficult to shift our attention away from what is sad about being gay to what is even sadder about being straight.

My aim is to show that when we hold the relationship between misogyny and heterosexuality in full view, we are able to see beyond the male-centric claim that queerness constitutes a tragic and unwilled loss of power, a loss that no one would ever choose (even as it brings sexual pleasure and fosters the “pride” of the oppressed).

Still today, misogyny is rarely ever meaningfully scrutinized in mainstream gay-rights discourse, so the reasonable suggestion that women stand to gain more than they lose by extracting themselves from heterosexual culture and cultivating queerness has become nearly impossible to hear amid the born-this-way chorus.

For all of these reasons, I am of the mind that lesbian feminist critiques of heterosexuality, now sometimes dismissed as outdated, have renewed relevance and urgency.”

#book #the tragedy of heterosexuality #weaker sex #jane ward

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uweiy · 2 years

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Original Content Masterpost

because even I can’t find my own damn content on this damned website.

*All fics mentioned are directly on Tumblr unless specified otherwise

The Untamed

Gifsets: Wwx and rooftops /Wangxian and jc being done part 1, part2, part3 / Yiling laozu /At Nevernight I wasn't by your side / I broke my promise /Bunny lanterns 🐇 / Lwj understanding the golden core thing

Fanart: Wwx flower boy mini comic / The red undergarnment / Song Lan / It snows / Yanqing and books

Memes: Is this... 🫱🦋🐦?/ Stabbing yourself in the heart /Picture u can hear /Y'all deserved better / Alignment chart / Tag urself (the untamed characters as people in my classroom ft. Stickmen) / The Untamed character generator

A lot of Textposts-y memes:

Wwx introducing himself and lwj / wwx translating lwj microexpressions / he'd marry you if you asked brother / wwx chugging a whole jar of ??? / Wwx no / there is no cure / Jiang fengmian loves his sons equally / lqr at wangxian wedding / wangji this is not allowed / I'm cold / get the hoe / I wasn't drunk / wen Ning is precious / shut UP / good morning :D

The juniors shenanigans: Jin Ling adulting / *sneaking out*/da headbands very precious yes / fairy climbs a tree

Fics

Xicheng Trying to hold on to you (1.6k, hurt/comfort), you confused me with a fucking dog (1.6k, College AU), They were roommates (10k, college AU)

Wangxian: Night of shooting stars (1.3k,Star!Lwj), Those who bleed (600 words, angst)

Other: Dangling Accessories (1.9k JC&Jin ling, Wandering Heart (Yanqing, 1.5k) Mianmian's Education course (Jc &wq, 800words) Alive (wwx-centric, drabble), Ouyang Zizhen at yi-city (<1k)

More detailed Cql-fic masterpost (with summaries) INCOMPLETE. Or read them in the AO3 collection (username Namariae).

Talks and other stuff

Yanqing 😍

The Untamed rewatch

2019 top 10 favourite posts / 2019 top 10 most popular posts

Cql OST / Beyond Control (LXC Character song)

Ask game

Cultivator conferences = disaster

Mriad

Posts: Chuyao being gay / Chuyao still being gay / list of things Lu Yao stole from Chusheng / Seriously so gay / go make me coffee

Fics: Empty space(filled with flowers) / All that glitters (ao3)

The Devil Judge

Beyond Evil vs The Devil Judge

Textposts: Get the fuck outta my house / Noo don't check me out ahaha / the Gaon Judas imagery

Gifs: *homoerotically pushes you against wall*I heard you live alone / the Kang Mansion / undresses you to tend to ur wounds

Fic: Rightful Place part 1 (Gahan)/ Rightful Place Masterpost

Love is Science

What the fuck is Love is Science?

Gifs: Ouwen's oh shit moments / Mark panicking bc gay / Shen Ying imitating a Sloth / that kiss in the gym / Ouwen pretty ✨ / Lee Mark's outfits are bisexualcore / love is in the little things

Memes/Other: Savage Ouwen / u're reasonable but ur friends are dumbasses /

Fic: The Mark/Ouwen sickfick no one asked for (domestic)

Recommendation lists

Top 5 BL shows I like

I have nothing to watch (yes u do)

Other:

Pile of Goop Aoki (Kieta Hatsukoi) / Rainless love in a Godless land / To my Star cooking (To my Star) / The 6 stages of Tumblr / Hanahaki disease prompts(?)

>📺(more or less) Current Watchlist

___

Other interests

Lotr

Viggo Mortensen has chaotic neutral energy

Continued list of things Viggo did

I've only had Frodo for a Day and a half

What do we do When we are sad

Aragorn you go king

(Discussion)Why does Gandalf love hobbits so much?

The Clearest diamonds (Bagginshield, AO3)

Stranger Things / The Sandman

over at @grabyourpillow

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whowritesoverthewriters · 2 years

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try guys hot take that didn’t make wapo

In 2014, the Try Guys were a band of friends making YouTube videos for Buzzfeed. In short order, the four attracted a following for being unapologetically themselves. There was Eugene Lee Yang, the queer Korean American guy known for his wit. There was Keith Habersberger, who was tallest and from Tennessee, and Zach Kornfeld, who was a Jewish New Yorker. And, of course, there was Ned Fulmer, a wholesome Florida man who graduated Yale. The foursome entertained viewers by testing out ladies’ underwear, doing drag and attempting UFC fighting.

As the Try Guys grew older, so did their brands. In 2018, they would go on to start their own YouTube channel that now has over seven million subscribers, leaving Buzzfeed behind. Keith launched his own hot sauce for chicken and Eugene came out as gay in a well-choreographed music video commanding 20 million views. Ned, in particular, built his brand around being the ultimate wife guy, going on sweet dates with his wife, Ariel. Videos from the past few years were titled names like “Couple Tries Home-Cooked vs. $120 Roast Chicken,” a series that Ned continued until earlier this year.

It was this perfectly distilled brand of “good husband and father" that Ned cultivated over eight years that came crashing down on Tuesday afternoon, after cheating allegations surfaced. Fulmer admitted on social media that he had “a consensual workplace relationship,” after fans theorized he had cheated with Alexandria Herring, a producer on the Try Guys channel.

On Tuesday, Try Guys announced via all social media channels that Ned was no longer working with them. “As a result of a thorough internal review, we do not see a path forward together,” the channel said in a statement.

The fallout did not go unnoticed by viewers — some of them who had been tuning into the channel since the Buzzfeed days — days before Try Guys made any announcement. Fans claimed online that it looked like Ned had been edited out of recent Try Guys videos, such as the camera cutting to footage of three of the guys, but there being a fourth chair visible in the background. Starting last week, Try Guys videos began with montage photos that were missing Ned. Their Instagram account hadn’t posted content with him since September 4.

The ongoing media fury and obsession would not have happened if Ned had not built his entire career on being the perfect wife guy. Wife guys are men who are known for being extremely into their wives, and just won’t stop talking about how they are so married.

Ned had this branding down to a science, with his wife Ariel Fulmer featured prominently across most of his videos. He spent years going on public dates with Ariel in YouTube videos, even turning pregnancy announcements for his two sons, Wesley and Finley, aged 1 and 4, into content. In a video from 2016 titled, “Couples Break Up For a Week,” Ned laments how sad it is to pretend to be single for a week, while showing us wedding photos of him and Ariel. Removing his wedding ring, Ned cringes at the camera.

Edit Info

Fans on YouTube have compiled the number of times Ned has said the words “my wife,” often in a Borat voice. In a video called “Couple Gets Trapped with No Internet for 90 Hours,” Ned proclaims, “There’s no one I would rather spend 90 years with,” while Ariel looks on at him sweetly.

Try Guys videos capture a certain era of the internet. It was the mid 2010′s, millennial YouTubers who had crafted very specific personas were taking off, especially with the financial backing of Buzzfeed. They were also pumping out videos at a fast and, some would say, unsustainable rate.

Ned and Ariel found the branding that worked for them, which monetized very well. It was the kind of wholesome content the internet craved more of, as fans declared them to be the perfect couple and a good example of a working marriage with two supportive parents. It’s the same premise that then captured viewers’ fascination when it all came crumbling down. What’s a wife guy without his wife?

Adultery alone wouldn’t sustain headlines and Reddit speculation for days. It’s the fact that being a husband and father is what we mainly know Ned Fulmer for. He was an unlikely person for people to suspect would be at the heart of a scandal like this.

Tuesday’s news had people on the internet asking which men they could trust. Increasingly, the internet finds examples of wife guys who just can’t be trusted. John Mulaney, a comedian who had been very public about his loving marriage, shocked onlookers when he filed for divorce from his wife last year and announced he was having a baby with actress Olivia Munn. Adam Levine, who had sang songs about his wife of eight years, admitted in September to sending flirtatious texts to another woman, where he asked if he could name his child after her.

If another Try Guy, say one that had built a brand around being edgy and rebellious (Eugene) had been caught up in a similar scandal, it wouldn’t have captured our collective attention the way that Ned’s quick fall from grace did. Ned’s own admission of guilt and subsequent departure from the Try Guys became the source of an internet meltdown because we want to have good role-models for fathers and husbands. They’re just hard to find.

In the parasocial relationships we form with celebrities, where we feel like we know them, it can be especially bizarre and captivating to see the mask fall away in real time. YouTubers Myka and James Stauffer drew outrage when they announced in 2020 that they had rehomed a child they had adopted and filmed life with for more than three years. When people’s public personas are so inextricably tied to their marriages, to being a faithful spouse and good parent, only for that to be revealed as a façade, it can start to feel like everyone’s business.

Try Guys really invited us into their homes, their lives and their relationships. And fans ate that up. Now that things have gone downhill, they’re still eating it up.

#ned fulmer #try guys #ariel #wife guy #adam levine #mulaney #parasocial relationships #why

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bengiyo · 1 year

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My School President Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week got off to a great start with what might be the best BL premiere I've ever seen from GMMTV. This has raised my expectations considerably. I was thrilled with the editing choices and the quality of the sound mixing. I'm also really enjoying the leads so far. I'm going to keep calling this show Lovesick 2.0, and I mean that with total affection.

Gemini is doing a great job with his eyes and time Tinn sees Gun for the first time in an interaction, especially when he's surprised. His eyes go wide like he wants to take all of him in, and then you see his throat tighten like he knows he needs to hold back. Once he settles, he's so considered about how he talks to him.

"You'll do anything? Then you must be my boyfriend." I see you, Lovesick 2.0.

Oh no it was a dream, but I did enjoy the effect of it all. Also fun to see an actress wearing the boys' school uniform. I wonder if Tinn saw Lovesick and that's why he's dreaming of that scenario.

Excited to see the beginning of the show from Tinn's perspective. It's refreshing to know that his crush has been burning for a long time.

His friend called Tinn out for simping too hard. I felt that.

This use of flashback is so well done. I complain sometimes about reusing footage, but taking us back to the scene where the music boys were looking for a club to show Tinn failing to flirt with Gun is 👌.

Oh no, Tinn went and started a beauty routine to attract Gun and it was overshadowed by that fight.

The Scrabble board currently reads, "KISS, TENDERNESS, MOMENTS, and COMPROMISE." Also, I hope they don't get sued for using an actual Scrabble board in this show.

The large text on screen is a stylistic choice we're seeing everywhere lately and I'm not exactly keen on it.

I like Tinn's friend, Tiw. I think the actor is Mark?

What was the direction for this scene? "Okay, we're about to add a new roadblock to the romance. When we take the instruments, everyone make sure to step on the rose on the way out. Then, Aou, you better kick the shit out of it."

Tinn really was about to take his shot at the "Be my boyfriend" line. I love him.

Gemini and Fourth are really solid together. Glad to see new actors are getting cultivated in the post-Nadao world.

Okay, but I wanna hear about the orchestra club going all the way to the Netherlands.

This is peak baby gay behavior. Sad because your parents are working on your birthday, and so you end up at a sweets cafe. The owner's attractive son brings you a tasty treat and then sings a lonely song well. You fall in love with him and never get over it, rearranging your life to get closer to him.

Tiwson coming in at the end of the year and fighting with everything he has for the NAMGOONG BEST BOY AWARD.

I'm enjoying BL including more scenes at home and getting the cast out of uniforms. It probably also lets them put them in tank tops and show off their bodies.

Tinn's dad has a secret guitar. OMG

Yes, let's make this handoff of the guitar as complicated as possible. Of course it worked. This is BL.

Tiwson saving the bit is another point on his campaign for best boy. Also glad Gun isn't clueless.

Noo don't hint about a special rule and then cutaway.

These boys have been up there for four hours? It's time to go.

Okay, they processed the bi'jesus out of Gemini's voice there. Goddamn.

I do like the choice to sing the song that made him fall for Gun.

Yes, Tinn is helping purely for business reasons. You'll have to work closely together, maybe late at night, and maybe he'll have to sleep over in the only bed.

More obstacles next week, but we're getting baited by a kiss I'm sure won't happen.

#my school president #thai bl #bl series #lovesick 2.0 is good so far #Ben watches

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anonymous-tals · 1 year

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I guess we don’t know how much of Tony’s story from his show on gay night is true because he was “only pretending to be gay” and a lot of his persona had been cultivated at that point but, of course, we do know that he does like guys(I hc him as bi but bi, gay, whatever, he likes guys) so we at least know the whole society and the police thing is just, like, inherently a real thing. The only thing that I guess would be unconfirmed is the dad one, where his dad is disappointed in him and said he doesn’t want to look at him.

I feel like it probably is true. I’d at least like to believe it is. Because Tony would have to come out to his parents since he was rebranding himself with the persona of the gay magician, so even if he didn’t directly tell them, there’s a good chance they’d find out.

Although, I wouldn’t put it past the Gay Mafia to, like, make Tony come out to his parents so he’d a strong, self-confident gay role model. Because, like, they were willing to force Gob to go to conversion therapy(man, that always makes me wanna cry) just to prove it doesn’t work so, even if Tony didn’t want to tell them because clearly, at the very least, his dad doesn’t have a favorable opinion of him, he might’ve just been forced to.

Anyway, this is all just to say that it’s a really sad detail that Tony’s brother died, a detail mentioned in an earlier season, and then, in the reenactment of him coming out to his dad in his magic show, his dad says, “I don’t wanna look at you, son. Just go to work. Why can’t you be like your brother?”

Like, idk how many siblings Tony has. For all we know, this is a different brother. But, I feel like its likely that this is the same one.

His brother died and is being used to tear Tony down for something he can’t change…That is so sad. And, awful. Like, that has to be a sore spot. Clearly, there’s already some disdain there when it comes to Tony’s dad’s opinion of him. It’s probably a similar kind of situation to Michael where the brother took a more traditional route when it comes to life and Tony and Gob got into magic. They were more creative types. I don’t think Tony would’ve had the same kind of struggles Gob did in school but I feel like they both wouldn’t have done well; I hc Tony not doing well in school to be due to more of a rebellious lack of caring while Gob would’ve had, like, learning disabilities that got in the way and made stuff inherently more difficult(but he also eventually adopted the idc mindset even though it definitely would be a sore subject if brought up).

Anyway, using the brother against Tony is awful in it’s own right but the fact that he’s dead just makes it even worse. Like, “Tony, you’re a burden and you’re brother was better than you in every way; more successful. But, he died, so now I’m left with you and…and now you pull this? You’re telling me, what, you’re gay?”

“I don’t want to look at you, son. Just go to work. Why can’t you be like your brother?”

Or, another scenario I thought of:

So, his dad says get back to work. I mean, we don’t know Tony’s life but I feel like he’s been a full time magician for the run of the show. What work would he be getting back to(not to say this still couldn’t work with the other idea I had, it’s just a detail worth looking into)? So, what if Tony came out earlier on his life to his dad. Maybe they have a family business, idk. Or, maybe he was helping out at his dad’s job. Whatever. Or, maybe he was just, like, raking the leaves and that’s the work.

It doesn’t matter. Moving on.

He comes out to his dad and he has this negative reaction, chastising him and all that, and that pushes Tony back even deeper into the closet, leading him to that womanizing guy we see in the earlier seasons; the one who sleeps with his dead brother’s widow.

My idea for how Tony got involved with the Gay Mafia was that a member of it caught Tony making out with some guy in some position of power related to the magic scene or some good venue. And, either they just assume this or Tony comes up with the story that he’s not actually gay, he was just making out with the his manager to bribe him into getting him a good deal or something(which isn’t true, he was making out with him because he likes guys and they both wanted to do that). But, they’re like, “Whatever, we don’t care if you’re actually gay or not. There’s two options we’re gonna give you, though. Either we out you to the world, potentially losing you the platform and the audience you had been building for yourself for your entire life, or you agree to rebrand yourself as the gay magician and we’ll provide you with a platform and an audience even better than you had before,” and Tony, backed into a corner, chooses the second option.

Anyway, that’s all I really have to say. We don’t know a lot about him but there are sprinkles of detail in there that really lend to an interesting backstory for this guy. I suppose that’s all I have to say for now. This was just kind of a messy ramble of Tony thoughts. Hope ya liked ‘em!

#tony wonder #ben stiller #arrested development #another day another arrested development essay written #blunder #gob bluth #will arnett

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llycaons · 1 year

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Ep5: the gay porn episode

even tho we know that lwj is at the very least attracted to wwx, this early on it really doesn't come off like that at all to anyone else besides lxc. he's even harsher and stricter with wwx than he is with anyone else. of course, later on he does a 180 because he's incapable of acting like wwx means as much to him as anyone else does

a boy is FLIRTING

wwx goes to a lot of effort this episode to repair his relationship with lwj, which indicates a lot more responsibility and maturity than, say, jc would have us believe. though tbf, wwx isn't trying to become friends for political reasons, he just wants lwj's attention. but he's also defending and explaining his actions, and the fact that he'll retaliate when attacked is of course extremely important later on. even with all the changes he goes through and and nuances we see, his core character is intact throughout. such strong writing

saw a blog once claim this wasn't necessarily sexual but um that's definitely how I read it. with that look? come on.

their rooms are so gorgeous

ICONIC APPEARANCE OF HISTORICALLY ACCURATE GAY PORN!!!!

this is so funny to me. wwx is so shocked that the extremely uptight young heir of a famously conservative and traditional sect hasn't seen gay porn. my boy idk how open-minded the jiangs are but you are not in yunmeng anymore...tbf lxc and lqr aren't even homophobic, but the kind of distress that his feelings cause lwj have got to come from somewhere, and I don't think it's just 'not wanting to be into someone so different from the lans'

wwx turning back the rules on lwj extremely fucking funny

aw :(

JIANG CHENG IS NOTHING EASY.GIF MOMENCE

nooooooo jc don't say that

jc is so happy to see wq, and his little pleased smile when wwx complains that she's only paying attention to jc....oh boy. boy oh boy. this is so sad

young jc is like. he's so fragile. he still has potential. he hasn't done anything he can't come back from yet. he loves his siblings. he likes a pretty girl. I mock him for the comb but it's not a great wrongdoing to be a little awkward and go for the thing that adults say girls like. it's not like he has any healthy relationship to emulate. ough.

SO MEAN. in contrast lwj is just a huge fuckin brat

see we rag on wwx for not telling people shit but early on at least, he was a good communicator! he saw that his actions could be misread and he took steps to clarify where he was coming from and why he did what he did

this is still one of my favorite jokes

wq literally is doing her job as a doctor and jc is like 😳 lady wen... I don't blame jc for having a crush but I DO blame shippers for being shitheads about a woman who is literally just doing her job

wen ning rushing in to save su she is so. he's the weakest cultivator here and he still put his life on the line to save this guy. this is something else we'll see later, when he uses his meager position to save jc and the jiang parents' bodies, and when he tries to stand up for his fellow wens at the camp

ppl who ship jc and wn are unhinged for various reasons but the kicker is right here. wq briefly held fast to her principle of looking after her family and nobody else, but wen ning never did. he puts himself in danger for people he barely knows over and over again, with no possible reward. this mindset is so alien to jc's caution and 'I got mine' outlook that there's no conceivable way that they could ever make a relationship work. even in an AU, I could barely see them becoming friends. they're just too different at their core

whew, what a long episode. ngl, this sequence at the lake ties with the maze forest as my least favorite parts of the show. it's just so BORING. there's some character work, like wwx saving wen ning and giving him the amulet, jc getting himself a crush, and wwx flirting, but it's not enough to liven up this very dull passage. regardless, the ending where lwj bought the ES for wwx was sweet

personal highlights: ep5

wwx being very openly and vocally into male erotica. I mean how are people STILL saying he didn't know he was into dudes. boy was about to start crying when lwj destroyed his treasured collection

wwx flirting in the library. he knew what he wanted. oh and him being really good at communicating. nice job, wwx!

jc has such a nice smile it breaks my heart for him

wwx giving wen ning the protection pouch 🥺

#curiously my insanity over lwj hasn't been triggered yet. im mostly enjoying the contrast between 'then' and 'now'#boy was he such a sensitive and unreasonable little brat <3 #cql re-rewatch

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thenarddogmeister · 9 months

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Lady Bird. Dir Greta Gerwig. 2017

Okay SO I already watched Lady Bird a couple of years ago and I remember loving it and deeply resonating with it but after seeing what Greta Gerwig did with Barbie, I HAD to revisit Lady Bird.

First of all, on a personal level (and also not, because a lot of people who were once teenage girls relate to this film) I thought it was so interesting because the titular character Lady Bird goes through her character arc of starting off as a selfish, escapist but funny character to a mature, thoughtful and grateful character and it felt like I was watching me grow up. I don’t think it’s wrong to learn certain skills or traits as you grow up, and without getting too philosophical I think we do live in a world which cultivates selfishness so we can’t fully blame Lady Bird (or myself) for being that way. However, she does learn better and it is an emotional, enthralling and honest journey. You can tell Gerwig is coming from experience and using her adolescence as a starting point for a lot of the moments in this film.

The performances from Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird) and Laurie Metcalf (Marion, her mother) were incredible and so natural. Their relationship was so real to me and even though my mother isn’t exactly like Marion, I still felt as if I could relate to the conversations and experiences they were sharing. They go from arguing and disagreement to crying together over a book and admiring a perfect dress. These ups and downs of their relationship are very adjacent to how the film is structured, there are some extremely joyous scenes such as Lady Bird and her boyfriend (played by Lucas Hedges) running through a starry, almost mystical field to some extremely despairing scenes like Lady Bird comforting her heart broken ex boyfriend as she promises to keep his sexuality a secret from his religious family and peers.

The whole film feels personal and intimate, which can be emphasised by the frequent use of low key lighting to create cozy atmospheres and skilful dialogue, which is very reminiscent of teenage angst and experience. And just like I said before about the film oscillating between happy and sad, it also does this between genre. The film flows seamlessly between drama and comedy, I found it to be a funny film, thanks to the excellent line deliveries by the actors but this didn’t diminish the dramatic elements of the film at all. If anything, it amplified them because the characters felt like real people so I cared so much about them even if they weren’t the focal point of the story.

I loved following along with Lady Bird’s journey as she discoveres herself and learns what her loved ones mean to her. I also really liked a little detail (maybe I over analysed it but anyways) where at the beginning of the film, Lady Bird sees Lucas Hedges’ character (Danny) perform for the first time. Her reaction is to turn to her best friend and blush over him. She gets jealous when her best friend earns a bigger part in the play compared to hers and doesn’t want her sharing that much time with Danny - this highlights Lady Bird’s selfish tendencies early in the film; she dismisses her friend’s success to focus on her own desires. Then later, after Lady Bird learns Danny is gay and comforts him, she watches him perform again. Her facial expression is almost half sad and half proud, it feels like she has more emotional complexity and she has more compassion and love for the boy on stage, even though he isn’t her boyfriend anymore. This portrays her growth as a young woman and it is anchored by a sound bridge of clapping which is used to transition from Danny’s performance to Lady Bird’s graduation. This links the two successes together and implies that now, she sees her loved ones successes equally as important and significant as her own.

Lady Bird learns how to be herself and also show love and compassion to those she loves. She endures the hardships of being a teenage girl and contributed to a movie which I find relatable, cathartic and deeply personal. I think Greta Gerwig is very talented and I can’t wait to see what she does in the (hopefully near) future.

#lady bird #greta gerwig #film #saoirse ronan #timothée chalamet #coming of age

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orodrethsgeek · 4 years

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The Untamed/Troubled Birds [4/~4] [1, 2, 3] And that’s it for the ones I had planned, guys! Hope you’ve enjoyed this little series of mine lol.

#the untamed #cql #xue yang #troubled birds #I experimented a bit more with ratios this time #and a bit less on tweaking visual settings #which I'll regret as soon as I hit post #but a well #look I love him so like. please be mindful of hate if you reblog #bc I read your tags sometimes #it edits #my edits #the sad gay cultivators show #c: xue yang

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veliseraptor · 3 years

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lan wangji’s perfect little gay once over here and his “you’re not bluffing me with that nonsense, you coward” face...brilliant

#untamed liveblogging #NOT WINNING AT GAY CHICKEN ANYMORE A-XIAN #lan wangji #wei wuxian #the sad queer cultivators show

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justfangrlshit · 4 years

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Hmm... should I think about the utter tragedy of how all the characters in mdzs/cql were just traumatized teenagers suffering the aftermath of a war and abuse, how they were in so many ways totally incapable of handing the myriad of responsibilities and politics that came their way, and how this made the eventual tragedy that happens in some ways unavoidable.......................Or should I just thirst after how hot Jiang Cheng is

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robotslenderman · 4 years

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welp guess who’s into the Untamed now

#sad gay cultivators show #lmao #the untamed

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ghooostbaby · 3 years

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deeeep dive into why and how wei wuxian and lan wangji love each other, complete each other, are the inverse reflection of each other’s deeply hidden internal selves mirrored through the other’s external self, lan wangji’s inner wildness that he has to conceal and protect recognizing and loving wei wuxian’s outer wildness, wei wuxian’s deep, fuddy-duddy morality and values that he conceals with an elaborate subterfuge of jokes, mischief, and bravado, seeing and loving in lan wangji the ability to say no that it was never safe for him to express directly, “between you and me there is no need for thank you and sorry”

oh and a slight diversion midway through into a manifesto on WEI WUXIAN IS NOT INSECURE the whole story is about a society where being liked is ESSENTIAL for survival and it is actually completely perilous not to be liked, and his “people pleasing” is a skill and tool for his survival especially as an orphan and proven to be a necessary one when he stops doing it and STOPS SURVIVING

after the cut discussing the very interesting dynamics of consent in general in the novel, but not going into the consensual non-consent kink stuff till the last paragraph if you need to avoid for any reason.

I've been thinking about how Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian the exterior, unfettered expression of the wildness Lan WangJi holds in him and protects with rigid codes of conduct, propriety and outward dignity.

I have had this sense that these two are mirrors, either one reflecting the hidden, interior (and unallowed) self of the other. but it seemed more clear from Lan WangJi's side, especially knowing about his history with his mother and the spicy side that emerges when he drinks and in the extras.

I also - just... the way this whole story shows how romantic love is truly this longing for your self, to become yourself, to become the thing you're not allowed to be, seeing in that person the expression of whatever it is you can't become and longing for it, protecting it, joining with it as closely as you can without ever being able to let it live inside your own body.

On the surface it seems a lot more difficult for Wei WuXian to find a piece of his soul in Lan Wangji. I think its a bit too simplistic to see whatever draws Wei WuXian to Lan Wangji as a reverse-psychology sort of craving of acceptance from the only one who won't give it, pushing and pushing against this impenetrable boundary that he needs to break to feel assurance that no matter what he can make anyone accept him.

And he is SO drawn - in a mind boggling way, in the teenage flashbacks Lan WangJi rudely and aggressively throws him off over and over and Wei WuXian cannot keep away! Even when he talks about how boring Lan WangJi is, he never stops trying to be around him and talk to him.

I've seen discussions of the way Wei WuXian has always relied on the goodwill of others to survive, and that his placating of others to survive is a character flaw. Although that seems only halfway true.

As a young child he didn't have anyone's goodwill for a while and he survived, and it seems like he can always find a way to survive from whatever means and sometimes very limited resources he has at his disposal. Doing what he has to do to become powerful enough to survive losing his core and being thrown into the burial mounds slowly costs him the goodwill of everyone around him - and what happens to him as a result shows how much placation was a truly necessary for someone without the protection of biological/hereditary family bonds.

(Don’t get me started on how his loss of his golden core and his development of demonic cultivation to give himself power by ‘unnatural methods’ through the use of a musical instrument is a metaphor for disability and the way ableist society sees the use of accessibility devices and tools. Actually please DO get my started haha.)

Wei WuXian is so charismatic and seems very used to getting what he wants and needs on the strength of that. He pushes a lot of boundaries and seems pretty confident and flexibly prepared to handle the consequences, whether beatings or harsh words. But he does work so hard to make others feel good, good with him, good with themselves.

When he is in the cave with Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian is described as "like one who forgets all past pain as soon as the wound heals". He can't resist coming up beside Lan WangJi and talking to him again and again after every time Lan WangJi pushes him off, only finally staying away when Lan WangJi bites him (and he still keeps trying to talk to him after a little bit!) and then calls him an awful person (!!! Bad Wangji! :(((( ). In the end, when Lan WangJi (very minimally) discloses what happened to his sect and his father, and even cries, because of all the defences/assaults Lan WangJi has put up Wei WuXian can't do anything or say anything to help and feels miserable.

Lan WangJi just absolutely refuses to allow Wei WuXian to take care of him - and I began to wonder maybe that’s what Wei WuXian actually really likes about him? Why he is unable to resist coming up to Lan WangJi again and again? Maybe because Lan WangJi refuses to let Wei WuXian appease him. He’s not trying to crack Lan WangJi to get to this impenetrable place of approval and acceptance. In a way he can’t quite understand, Lan WangJi is a respite for Wei WuXian from the constant work to be the one who pleases.

And how different this is to how Wei WuXian is (or has to be) with Jiang Cheng when he wakes up in Lotus Pier after the cave. Jiang Cheng gets so down and really really needs Wei WuXian to do what he does so well (and wasn’t allowed to do with Lan WangJi) - chasing Jiang Cheng down while being injured and reassuring him about all his insecurities about his father's acceptance and becoming a sect leader and Wei WuXian's own abilities excelling his - and at first Jiang Cheng is pushing him away, but he really does need Wei WuXian to do all this to feel better.

Wei WuXian is described as not wanting to be lonely, and not wanting to see other people unhappy, and he keeps trying to push and pull with whatever he has to not be lonely and lift the mood for those around him. I don't think it's a kind of codependency or insecurity. It’s not that Wei WuXian is afraid to say no, in fact I would say he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do, but he must always do it creatively, with humour. Similarly to Nie Huaisang, he uses a persona of foolishness to give himself a covert agency.

I also think I'm writing this because I don't like seeing this discussed as a sad bean character flaw for him to always need to be liked - its a strategy, its a tool, its how he survives and excels. Doesn’t the whole story prove how essential being liked is to a human’s survival? And he is so so good at being liked, in making others happy, even when he is refusing to do what others want from him that he doesn't want to do, he does it in a way that deflects criticism, with a smiling bravado that never says what it truly means and has people writing him off as shameless or foolish or just endearing himself toward them despite themselves.

He is always at work really, with jokes and flattery or mischief and teasing, to get the resources he wants and needs. Case and point, when he makes a big coquettish show for mianmian, definitely not being "people pleasing" for her, but the group of girls around them all find it funny and cute and in the end she gives him a perfume sachet which ends up being a valuable resource for later. Or the time he outright tells Jiang Cheng that if you give the girls some lotus seeds they'll remember you and return the favour in the future. (Also notice how his interactions with girls seen as flirtatious are actually strategic resource-gathering acts.) These are the skills he has developed to meet his own needs. (THIS IS NOT A CHARACTER FLAW. I REPEAT.) He takes what he needs and steals from the Lotus Pier markets knowing it'll be paid for, he lives like he never know when his next windfall will come from so he'll take what he can when he can find it. Like Jiang Fengmian said, if there is no guarantee of a meal in the future then today's meal should still be enjoyed. It’s how Wei WuXian said to Nie Huaisang at Cloud Recesses, you have to find ways to make your own fun out of whatever you have. So he gets kicked out of class, goes fishing, gets alcohol, he pursues his own pleasure. He actually is quite insistent of his own agency and right to choose, he just can never directly say no.

And that little detail that Wei WuXian always tucks coins into his clothes just in case, that makes him able to buy food when he and Jiang Cheng are on the run... breaks my heart and reveals so much about the way Wei WuXian is constantly at work on ensuring his own survival and never takes for granted whether he is safe (he knows he never is).

I've seen some people talking about Wei WuXian sacrificing so much for his brother and sister out of a need to be accepted out of a chronic sense of insecurity. But isn’t this just true? Doesn't he live in a world where being accepted is absolutely essential for survival? Doesn’t this whole story show the cruelty of a social system based on networks of hereditary/biological family that closes out and scapegoats any outsiders, and that without biological family connections that can enclose around you, you can never truly be safe if not constantly working to earn acceptance? (And then beautifully ends with the way a gay romantic relationship that queers marriage/family/etc disrupts all this and creates safety and inclusion for Wei WuXian without needing a normative family.) (AKA romantic love does not resolve some internal personal problem in Wei WuXian but disrupts and refuses and rebels against the problem of SOCIETY.) (*breathes heavily*)

And that’s why Lan WangJi is magnetizing to Wei WuXian. Lan WangJi is always saying no. Although what Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian is an exterior wildness, Wei WuXian is not really out of control so much as he is playing and caring and supplicating and showing off and pleasing people to get the resources and the acceptance he needs to live his life. He has firm values and desires that he can never outwardly state, only creatively spinning plates to distract and deflect while he refuses what goes against his values, protects who he cares for, or takes what he needs to in order to survive/thrive. Lan WangJi embodies an exterior of resoluteness and direct agency that Wei WuXian doesn't have the luxury of. And he's so drawn to him for his ability to repeatedly say no, to refuse to get along, or make others laugh, make other people happy, but just simply follow what he thinks is right.

Wei WuXian’s outward wild movement protects an inward stillness. He is an exterior of people-pleasing around an interior of refusal. He is an exterior of youthful rebellion around an interior of unflinching morality. He sees in Lan WangJi the outward expression of his stillness, his morality, his resistance that he can't express, that he's had to protect.

FYI after the cut gets more into the dynamics of consent in the story, and the last paragraph directly talks about consensual non-consent kink play in wangxian’s relationship.

When Wei WuXian is with Lan WangJi, there is no work to be done. Lan WangJi cannot be swayed by him, and so there's no point vying for resources or favors. Lan WangJi will either give him everything or refuse him everything based on who he is, it does not matter what Wei WuXian does and he can't do anything that will change Lan WangJi’s mind. Someone he literally can't win over. After the resurrection, they are often in an adorable tug of war, where Wei WuXian tries to take care of Lan WangJi, while Lan WangJi won't allow him to but demands to care of Wei WuXian right back. Actually, Lan WangJi insists that Wei WuXian take everything he wants or needs from him and is even angry when he doesn't take or when Wei WuXian tries to offer a gesture in return, even something as simple as a thank you Lan WangJi won't accept. It’s kind of adorable how frustrated Wei WuXian is in doing this thing he's learned that he needs to do, and just... so confused by Lan WangJi, and has to find a way to please this person who aggressively refuses to be pleased and is ONLY pleased by Wei WuXian being pleased.

(Not to mention the way Wei WuXian delights in finding that Lan WangJi can’t say what he wants, and they have sort of these chaotic cohesive both-being-so-pleased-by-working-hard-to-please each-other moments where Wei WuXian is letting Lan WangJi please him by finding out what pleases Lan WangJi and giving it to him.)

The wildness Lan WangJi had always hidden within himself is something he sees as just as dangerous as Wei WuXian thinks of his desire to refuse. He saw his mother be socially alienated, shunned, and eventually die because of her wildness. His ability to survive in the world, aka to be accepted by his family, is contingent on him being able to control this inner wildness. From a young age (re: Phoenix Mountain kiss) he could only understand his sexual desires for Wei WuXian as something repulsive or dangerous that had to be repressed and controlled, and that the only way he could imagine his desires as possible was as non-consensual. His secret gay desires were never available to him as anything but something monstrous.

Importantly, it’s not like everyone else other than Lan WangJi are all vampires cruelly demanding Wei WuXian’s constant sacrifice. Wei WuXian is always vibrantly, charismatically offering so much, before anyone has asked. It’s Wei WuXian who creates this kind of relationship for himself again and again. It’s Lan WangJi who simply refuses - he refuses to charmed, to be cared for. And so in the end Lan WangJi becomes the one person who Wei WuXian feels doesn't need anything from him. When he says he's eating the corpse's fruit to save Lan WangJi money and Lan WangJi says that will never be necessary. Or when Wei WuXian asks what toy he should win for Lan WangJi at the market game, and Lan WangJi says anything Wei WuXian gets will be the one he wants. (XD stahhhhp it’s too sweet !!!) He really just wants Wei WuXian to be, to exist, to spend his life discovering his own desires and allow Lan WangJi to help satisfy them, he doesn't want anything from Wei WuXian other than him living - happy and safe.

It takes someone like Lan WangJi to refuse Wei WuXian’s aggressive generosity, it’s definitely not an easy thing to say no to Wei WuXian, dazzling or annoying people so chaotically before they even realize there’s something to say no to. The sacrifice he gives to Jiang Cheng, he never even offers a choice - and perhaps it would have been too much for Jiang Cheng to accept if he had the chance.

Lan WangJi’s statement "Between us there is no need for thank you and sorry" seems like one of the most important sentences in the novel, and you can’t help but noticed the way “sorry” and “thank you” is littered meaningfully through the book. What is owed, what the characters owe to each other, the give and take, touches every part of the story (down to wangxian's erotic explorations!).

When Jiang Cheng talks to Wei WuXian at the Guanyin temple he makes a lot of contradictory statements about what Wei WuXian owes, what he was given, what he took, what he (Wei WuXian still) is owed in return. Wei WuXian, according to Jiang Cheng, took everything from the Jiang clan, and paid them back with their deaths. The Jiang clan give him his life when they took him in, and he owed Jiang Cheng service for the rest of his life as the right hand to the sect leader, that’s what Wei WuXian had promised anyway. At the same time, Wei WuXian sacrificed everything (his golden core) to Jiang Cheng, by giving everything he was taking one more thing - Jiang Cheng’s right to even be angry at him. Jiang Cheng had taken everything from Wei WuXian. Everything that happened around Wei WuXian after could be said to be because of the loss of his golden core, which Jiang Cheng might be said to be responsible for. But he never asked for it, maybe he never would have wanted it. He wishes Wei WuXian told him, but Jiang Cheng never told Wei WuXian his golden core was melted while he was sacrificing himself to save Wei WuXian. He wants Wei wuxian to say sorry, but that makes him feel pathetic. And Jiang Cheng says sorry too. It’s a mess of paradoxes, and in the end somehow it seems like the scales are balanced in the most hollow, dismal way.

What is owed, what is given, what is taken ... Wei WuXian has never been part of a family. He has always had to say thank you and sorry for everything he's taken. Wei WuXian himself admits that he used "thank you" as a way to enforce distance between himself and Lan WangJi. Lan WangJi's point i think is that they belong to each other, Wei WuXian is his, and he is Wei WuXian's, unconditionally. The way that Jiang Cheng speaks of him in the Guanyin temple (admittedly I read a fan translation and this is very nuanced, related to slight variations of grammar), even when Jiang Cheng clearly is so broken by the loss of Wei WuXian from his life, he talks about Wei WuXian as an outsider. It is what MY family gave to YOU, never what you took from our family. But at one point Wei WuXian was part of their family - but he takes too much, and becomes an ex-disciple, not a brother. Wei WuXian’s inclusion as a Jiang was always conditional.

Even when Wen Qing and Wen Ning leave him to go take the blame for qiongqing path they tell him "thank you and sorry", drawing a line between them and him, so he doesn’t even belong to these people who he sacrificed everything for. The way Wei WuXian acted when he was younger, he was always keenly aware of this - he always knew that he didn’t belong to anyone, no one is going to protect him unconditionally. And after first escaping the Burial Mounds, he is done pretending. When Lan WangJi warns him about what a demonic cultivation path will do to his heart, Wei WuXian replies: “After all, on the topic of how my heart is, what could other people know about it? Why should other people care about it?” He is done pleasing. Nothing has changed really, he still belongs to no one and is alone, but now he is angry about it, and instead of saying thank you and sorry he is going to become too powerful to be at anyone's mercy. And then we see in the story afterward what happens to people who don't say thank you and sorry.

The whole point I think is the impossibility of choice, the impossibility of consent in this society. If he didn't forgo the behaviour his social acceptance was conditional on, he wouldn't have survived the burial mounds. But once he becomes powerful enough to survive and get revenge on the Wens, he is socially outcast. Except he was already outcast from the beginning.

And so how do Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi find a way through all that to a life together where all their desires are possible, where Wei WuXian can say no while also being pleasing (safe) to others, and Lan WangJi can indulge in his wild desires while still being good? The answer is kinky sex!

It is kind of miraculous and beautiful how Wei WuXian finds a way to say no, while simultaneously pleasing Lan WangJi, giving pleasure, while taking it, saying no, and knowing his refusal is not just tolerated, but gives Lan WangJi pleasure, knowing Lan wangji and knowing the painful belief Lan WangJi holds within that his desires are unacceptable and unspeakable, and that Wei WuXian can take care of Lan Wangji in a secret little way and please him and give everything to him by craving this wildness in Lan WangJi while at the same time he gets to say no again and again , and it won't push Lan WangJi away, he can refuse everything while at the same time be totally pleasing and thus safe, and also for Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian's pleasure at saying "no" while still being held onto, that he genuinely wants to be fucked even while begging Lan WangJi to stop (and the many ways he does give his consent for this throughout, especially their first time), allows Lan WangJi the ecstatic feeling that this idea that his sexual desires are only possible through force are not just something his lover forgives him for but something his lover is SO turned on by, and that he has consent for his fantasies of non-consent, Wei WuXian has the same fantasies from the other side, he is doing what he is supposed to while doing what he shouldn't, and actually these monstrous feelings in him allow him to take care of Wei WuXian in a way that he needs - that they both need - and all these impulses that are so wrong with Wei WuXian become very right and a way to do good. And they are just both so perfect and perfect for each other and I love them and I am so happy for them to have a long kinky life together.

#wangxian #mdzs #mdzs meta #holds wei wuxian close and murmurs into his hair 'no one knows you like i know you baby'

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