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flamingcraniumb · 2 years

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I've been writing like a maniac and I hope I can get the support of my friends. I know I've spoke out about the grooming I endured as a teenager and other atrocities. I sat down the other night, spent 2 days and a night writing out the entire story. Let me tell you something, write out your pain and hurt because young you didn't have the entire story. I was being emotionally abused by my "friends" in school, who caused the entire school to ostracize me. I realize these conversations are uncomfortable but if we're not talking about it then it's still happening. I was a traumatized kid by the time I arrived at my hs which made me more susceptible to the abuse. Let's protect our future kids from this. I wrote in the format of a letter to Melodee, since she insists on gaslighting me:

Melodee,

I know this is so very long! I just don't want to leave anything out. I'd hate for you to get your hopes up about having a chance at "destroying" me by using the decisions I made when I was a kid against me. All the while I was in a tornado of people, all throwing weapons at me. I mean its "cute" when bullies think the same empty, basic tactics they used on you the first time they tried to destroy your life might work again but you've used the, "my friend catfished me" out of context twice now. It's reassuring to see you both still lack the abilities to dangerously create false stories. I almost laughed at how you're trying to present this image of yourselves as people who are caring, kind, thoughtful!

So I'm just genuinely curious if you can come up with anything else that doesn't sound like another one of your cliche, predictable deflections SO yawn. Now that I've once again claimed the same mistake you keep trying to use against me in an attempt to excuse your terrible behavior. A single mistake you used to cover up the countless bullying and betrayal you forced me to endure. What desperate attempt will you use to discredit my voice? I don't think I have anything else you can use. I guess you'll have to learn how to be more creative or maybe you can find one of my other traumatic experiences to use to discredit me again. I'm fully aware I won't recieve any honesty. My healing isn't reliant on your ability to be honest about the cruel acts you carry out.

Why do you think I'm here Melodee? Putting myself back in a stressful situation with shitty people like you, who will hurt anyone just to cover their tracks, especially when I never want to talk to any of you ever again. Its my responsibility to protect/warn others. So if the pain you caused me can account for anything, than I hope it can bring awareness to emotional abuse in teenagers and how dangerous ostracizing can be. Its also my right to finally reclaim my voice after you guys tried to take it from me, it just took me awhile to build my confidence back up after all that.

So why would I step out of my comfort zone to dredge up the past? Its like that quote you posted, about how you could forgive someone for mistakes they'd made in the past if you knew they were doing the work to fix themselves? Well you can't fix people who won't admit they have a problem. So no, I don't forgive you for all the ridiculous shit you've put me through or your recent pathetic attempt to continue victim shaming me. The fact that you've not only contributed to the major problem of why victims don't come out about abuse, but many other incidents where you've willing suppressed women just for the approval of the toxic male. You've even gotten children involved in your drama. You're an enemy of us women and children, especially us abused.

I don't forgive Nayt, he's incapable of taking an honest look at himself, which I'd be terrified of myself too. Or maybe he's just not strong enough to do the work because it would take an extremely strong man to admit his faults and repair them. Instead he hides behind counter cultural movements, always shifting between personas. I'm goth, I'm a redneck, now I'm a hippy. When really hes just an an abuser who will use anything to justify why he put his hands on me.

I don't forgive Kaelia. She presents herself as someone who doesn't let anyone push them around. Well, I don't know who would be able to push her around when shes already the one doing all the pushing. I don't have faith any of you have any humanity left or if you even ever had any.

I dont need "friends" who will sit in the next room while someone is being hurt or potentially killed. I dont need "friends" who cause me to feel like I have to remember every word I've ever said, so its not manipulated to be used against me. Thanks to you guys, I'm actually able to recognize a lot of red flags sooner. Knowledge from abuse comes at a very high price.

Thankful I didn't supress myself enough for you to control me. You call me weak yet you could never endure the life I've lived and still stay honest. You couldn't even survive your own trauma enough to avoid becoming hateful bullies. Instead you chose to be weak and petty, using the same mistakes I made when you and Kaelia were bullying me. While I was still trying to recover from my traumatic childhood.

So here we go! I've taken your gags out of my mouth to finally tell everyone the true story of how two girls, who were supposed to be my friends, tormented me through high school, decided to smear my name, risked my life, allowed a pedophile to get away and ostracized me from my peers all for the amusement of petty drama.

I just starting writing out everything from the moment you and Kaelia darkened my door, to the moment when I was finally rid of you. I realised I'd never wrote out everything you guys put me through. Then I saw the timeline coming together, the pieces connected and I have to say I was shocked! It seemed so obvious, how hadnt I seen it before?! Coming out about Gunny and Nayt were completely linked. I could finally see the severity of what all of you did to me.

So I'm sure everyone would love to know the extremely evil and sinister act I committed that led you ladies to go to such extremes as, riling up our entire school to assault me after you convinced them to disregard when I was groomed by a teacher, sit in the next room while knowingly risking my life, romantically pursue the dv guy who just tried to kill your friend, marry the dv guy! Ok drum roll: so apparently when you're a stupid kid and do stupid kid things like create stupid bfs for your friends who are lonely, you could accidentally create these really thoughtful boys who write them poetry and remember all their favorite interests. You realize you've majorly messed up and that you didn't think this all the way through. You come forward on your own with guilt to admit what you've done. Never belittling their hurt and taking responsibility, even when you knew how hypocritical it is they're holding this over your head despite the excessive amount of toxic incidents they put you through. Some of which were: Kaelia starts dating a guy I had just asked out and was still hurt over him saying no. When you try to tell her this is hurtful to you, she assures you she isnt actually interested in him! She's merely just using him in hopes to get closer to his brother, who she finds more aesthically pleasing. So she drags you to sit with them at lunch, glaring at you if you look too miserable about how poorly you're being treated. I mean I could keep listing stories but its the same theme of me being too broken from my past toxic relationships that I couldn't see this was emotional abuse. I couldn't see that when she would start fights with me over my wanting to occasionally have lunch with other friends, that it was controlling, not loving.

So after admitting my guilt, you actually "accepted" my apology and it didn't take very long for you to be chummy towards me again. Which of course, I know abusers don't actually understand how the concept of apologies and forgiveness work because that part of their brain is already filled up with gaslighting and deflection tactics. It just reminds me how you guys would store every tiny mistake up to be used against me, whenever it was convenient for you to get away with how terrible you were treating me. Which I guess that's still a thing you do.. We even agreed on taking it slow LOL cause this was still in the days you wanted me to believe your nice guy act. Kaelia on the other hand wants and even demands you know you have upset her, this could go on for very long periods of time, over any little thing she chose to be upset about. So she would still hang with the group, dramatically she'd whisper into one of our friends ear that she might be close to forgiving me soon but I knew she just wanted to keep me hanging on for her. It really didn't bother me anymore because I felt I had been as honest as I could be with my mistake and I would constantly try to go out of my way to show I cared for her. I now realize it wasn't a test of whether I really cared for her. She just wanted me to suffer and it didn't really matter what I'd done. Now that I'm older and writing this all out, I see Kaelia was just another narcissist and you her flying monkey, until you decided to pick her brother as your new owner.

So Im stressed about my family falling apart and Kaelias bullying, so finally I said fuck it! I attempted to move on with my Life. I actually started developing friendships with others BUT youre not allowed to leave the narc. Kaelia is now a stalker, she seems to be going out of her way to just stand around hallways and glare at me. Literally following me around everywhere and being passive aggressive. I still hadn't healed from a lot of what I'd been through in foster care and didn't realize the severity of what you two were putting me through.

Wont you ever find peace away from these messed up individuals? Well the bullying and stress from home didn't let up, I attempted to take my Life. So as you know and I guess many others who I don't know but seem to know about my personal business that I went to an Institution. I knew I wasn't perfect and I made mistakes but I also knew in my heart that I would figure out how to navigate this Life. I just kept thinking, am I working against the Universe to keep attracting these abusive people? So when I got out, I really tried to piece my Life back together. I really focused on my grades, I didn't act like a class clown and my Mom enrolled me in ROTC. Hoping it would teach me skills that might help living with my adhd easier. NOT because I was some bad kid who was constantly acting out.

So many narratives people made up and ran with. I've never been good at or enjoyed keeping up with gossip but I could hear people say we went all the way to court where Gunny lost his job. I guess that narrative sounds a lot better than the truth, that my entire school chose an adults safety over a child's. Even though, just a little over in West Plains they couldn't believe how disgustingly the school was behaving. Funny noone ever asked me details about anything OH YEAH its kind of hard to have a voice when two bullies are going around telling everyone you're liar and who knows what else. I do one stupid thing that any kid could have done and they felt the need to discredit my entire reputation. I realize now I should have listened to my Mom when she told me you guys would hurt me. "Right as always Mom." I hate that you were also able to drag her into your sick games.

When I was at that age, I had no idea how to handle all the stress that was coming at me. Gunny like many other groomers saw his opportunity and took it. Same with abusers like you and Kaelia. You all kicked me while I was down. You and Kaelia had already been kicking me for awhile but this time you decided you really wanted to ruin my life. And you did, for awhile. I sometimes wonder if I would have really stood a chance too, because there was so much evidence against Gunny but noone could see past your lies. I dropped off because I couldn't endure it anymore. Just like I'd done other times in my life when people shunned me for coming out against my abuse. Then I carried around the guilt that this man was free to hurt others. You guys definitely have a long list of moral lines you don't mind crossing to get that petty revenge.

After Sophmore year ended and I had my Mother by my side, it seemed to finally calm down. I'd finally made a good hearted friend KC, who is incapable of even musing over the idea of hurting someone. It also renewed my Moms faith that I'd be able to have a life without abusers one day. But you know the expression sweeping a problem under a rug, really is quite suiting because I couldn't act normal after the hell you guys put me through. Plus the years of abusers before you guys got your hands on me, it just couldnt stay sweeped away. Then KC had to move to Springfield, we stayed close but now I was back in that school without the one person I could trust. Do you remember that day Kaelia got everyone riled up to assault me outside the cafeteria? KC surprised me, actually sticking up for me and she stood so strong for someone she loved. Thank goodness for people like ML and KC, cause I really don't think you guys would have let me get out of there alive.

Oh sweet perfect Segway to the next chapter. So girl thinks she falls for a boy, boy doesn't know how to communicate so boy starts belitting girl because maybe that'll work out for him...Different boy, Nayt who is Kaelias brother, tells girl that she deserves better than how this other boy treats her. So she just leaves because she'd kept staying too long before with people trying to make her feel small and she desperately wanted an authentic partnership. Well Nayt begins love bombing her for awhile and she thinks maybe she might have finally found someone healthy. These never seem to last long with narcissists and he quickly becomes extremely controlling, trying to keep her locked up in their shared room. Getting jealous when she wants to go sledding with her gfs, even though she tries to invite him. When she comes back he hasnt calmed down. *Refer back to my post coming out about that night.

Don't worry folks, she survives another attack from an abuser. The next day she tries to come for the rest of her stuff and her cat. Nayt is refusing and watches with amusement as her mother checks if the authorities can help them get their cat back, before Nayt follows through on his threats to murder their cat. She had a hard time getting her cat back because he wasn't chipped and Nayt being a cliche narc just wanted to drag out the tormenting as long as he could. So it would seem Kaelia wasn't the only abusive lover in the family.

You think you can paint this pretty illusion of a commune filled with nurturing love while you lure innocent people to a man with severe anger/control/obsession issues so he can play out his powerful/all knowing cult leader fantasies. I mean I don't actually worry that you'll convince people to move in with you. Youre still hanging out with the same drama obsessed people you were hanging out with 10 years ago, using the same knives to keep stabbing each other in the backs. I sit back and just wait for you to get bored.

I mean I already know you just can't help yourselves, you have to come out occasionally to see if you can wreak havoc in someone's life. No one hears from you for a few years, then you pop up as soon as you hear a potential situation you can manipulate.

Oh, maybe you’ll even go as far as trying to get someone's kid taken away from them just because what?! Nayt has some weird obsession with an ex of mine?! While you desperately have to please him! So why not cause heartbreak in a families Life. Did the situation have anything to do with you? Nope, you just have to be involved in petty arguments. Did you also have the audacity to reach out to me, who was almost killed by Nayt, to see if I would lie about the child's father being physically abusive? Of course, cause maybe you never learned empathy or you've been so damaged by heartless people you've succumbed to being just as heartless.

BUT just in case I was having doubts about how far you'll go to uproot peoples lives for your sick amusement, you admit that the child's mother, whose side you're on, has anger and drinking issues. Going into detail about how she gets so angry she frequently goes into a rages, breaking furniture. I mean come on girl, its like you weren't even trying to hide how shitty you were being. I have to assume you must have thought I'd also let my pain turn me into a monster like you.

WRONG, you were already going down on your first strike: I'm a survivor of a domestic violence attack from the guy you romantically pursued barely 2 weeks after I came to you for comfort. I even akwardly forced myself to stick by your side in hopes that would hear my plea because I thought he was going to physically hurt or try to kill you the way he had me. I don't know whether you really disbelieved me but I do know you're just a terrible friend, which is where your 2nd strike comes in: if you had actually been a friend to me in the first years we met, then you would have known a big part of my Life was and still is defined by being a foster kid. Who was taken away from my biological Mom and my brother. That I had to leave because my Mother was too broken from the damage in her Life to make good decisions and dated men that physically abused us. I grew up without my brother, the security of having a loved one reassure me when Life was hard. A huge healthy dose of all the trauma that would instill insecurities, leading me right into the clutches of abusers like you trying to convince me their toxic love wasn't toxic.

I was really thrown that you thought I'd help you take an innocent child away from a Father that not only loves his daughter but is extremely involved in her development. Especially whenever you carried pain from your own Fathers absence AND you've even been in abusive relationships. Still yet you perpetuate the vicious cycle of little girls not having positive men involved in their Life. For what? The satisfaction of pleasing your alpha male? I mean geeze Melodee you now have this long ass list of ways you're suppressing women.

During the time you ran off with Nayt, I hadn't quite figured out setting my boundaries or knowing the signs that a friendship is toxic but I was trying. So when I started talking to Kaelia again, I remember her being hurt that you just cut off contact with everyone, because she thought her flying monkey would have at least reached out to her first narc love. We even talked about that night Nayt strangled me because I'm sure you're aware she was there and did nothing to stop it. My young, naive self still trauma bonding thought maybe I could regain her respect again if she was finally admitting what happened that night. Wow, it feels so long ago and foreign how poorly I allowed you two to treat me. .

What if I had taken the path you did and succumbed to my hatred? Guess I spent so many years focusing on not becoming jaded that I didn't even think about being filled with doubt and insecurities instead, that were setting me up to develop unhealthy relationships. Its not an easy path but I stuck with it, broke my trauma bonding and finally found genuinely kind people who always remind me how beautiful I am. Reminding me that I didn't deserve all the hurt I endured. Who lift me back up where I belong. My heart is now strong and impenetrable to bullies belitting my experiences.

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logicalstansadvice · 2 years

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if Pamela supported the show and of they had a good relationship with her, the internet would say "nice, now they have out with a racist woman, trump friendly and victim blamer of Harvey Weinstein victims" that's what they'd sat, let be honest here. Both Pamela and tommy are trash, the internet does too much and they're just playing dumb. duh, i don't care. has Seb fucked up? yes, so? he's still a much better person than both those individuals together 🤷🏽‍♀️

Anon 2: I think people put him on a pedestal, and when he didn't meet their expectations, they targeted him. / Nope. Few (like less than 5%) of those who left vile comments under his post expressed ethical concerns abt the project. As usually, they insulted his looks, acting skills, intelligence, and bullied his friends who congratulated him for the nomination. They acted like bullies, not like critics of the project with moral concerns or disappointed admirers, the same bullies since 2020, even 2018.

Anon 3: You don't tag people if you potentially can bring evil people to their door or if you could retraumatize them. Neither applies here. And his comments can only be described as sanctimonious instead of fucking thoughtful if you are inclined to think the worst.

Anon 4: That fact that you are even willing to victim blame and slut shame Pamela is very weird>>Oh Dear, Seb fucked, but Pamela fucked big too. Don't hide the fact that she blamed Harvey's victims by saying they should have known better, even after criticism, she still stood by what she said. She also slammed the Me Too movement, which was created by a black woman Tarana Burke for black women, and was appropriated by white women. She said that this movement paralyzes men, and that women should have common sense. Notice how great voice from the movement never came in her favor because of the series. She didn't deserve what happened to her, but she's that kind of feminist who doesn't care about women other than herself.

Anon 5: He meant well but he didn’t think it through….obviously.>> hahaha I love you, girls.

Anon 6: I don't think they're bothering with extensive criticism of others involved in the show (or of other actors in controversial roles) because they never had those people on pedestals. / This is a way of excusing the trolls/bullies who exclusively target him. If they are really worried abt the moral implications of biopics without consent & their motivations are pure, as they like to claim, it stands to reason they would criticize the movie industry as a whole, not solely an actor doing his job.

💄

#logical stans advice #logicalstansadvice #sebastian stan #opinion blog #anonymous

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blancvu · 1 month

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Week 10: DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP AND SOCIAL MEDIA CONFLICT

With its unmatched capacity for communication and information exchange, social media has unquestionably established itself as a fundamental component of our online existence. But this connectivity also creates an environment that is conducive to conflict. Anonymity, quick communication, and echo chambers—the very characteristics that unite us—can exacerbate online conflicts and even turn them into full-fledged social media warfare. This calls for an important discussion on digital citizenship and how to handle the complexity of conflicts on social media.

In addition to social media confict, it is undeniable that verbal and physical forms of harassment are common on the internet and impact a significant portion of the populace. One prevalent component is the deliberate use of harsh, threatening, or insulting information to target certain individuals or groups (Wolak, Mitchell & Finkelhor, 2007). To futher understand harrashment on online platform, we will come to cyberbullying which is a terrible and pervasive problem that harms people by taking advantage of technology. It can come in a variety of shapes and sizes, all intended to cause the victim pain or embarrassment. Sending offensive or even violent emails that are unsolicited or threatening might be one way to do this. Bullies may even attempt to enlist the help of others by flooding the victim's email account with messages or repeatedly sending the same emails. They can use social media, messaging apps, and any other internet platform to disseminate rumors and misleading information. Creating disparaging remarks about the victim on the internet could be the worst strategy. This involves disseminating false or disparaging information in an attempt to damage their reputation (Government of Canada 2020).

In order to deal with cyberbullying, Law and e-safety commisioner need to come into effect. To be more specific, Australian law does not specifically forbid cyberbullying. Nonetheless, the Commonwealth Criminal Code Act 1995(Cth), which outlaws severe online harassment, applies to all states and territories. The Criminal Code Act 1995 (Cth) of Australia prohibits the publication or uploading of objectionable content on the internet. In Section 474.17, If a statement has the potential to incite fury, shame, contempt, or anger, it may be offensive. For this kind of offense, the maximum punishment is three years in jail and/or a fine of up to $30,000. Moreover, in section 474.15, the maximum sentence for this offense is ten years in jail. Under the same clause, a person faces a maximum sentence of seven years in jail if they willfully threaten someone with significant harm by phone, text message, email, or internet post (criminal code act 1994 Cth).

It is not until 2022 that the Online Safety Act 2021 (Cth) came into force, following an increasing number of offenses pertaining to cyberbullying. Acts issued by the E-Safety Commissioner are four: to provide a channel for complaints in order to shield adults from severe internet abuse, to bridge the loopholes in the current state and territorial legislation against online abuse; To prevent minors from being the targets of cyberbullying by developing systems to detect and handle this kind of content; To provide guidelines to make the removal of harmful and abusive information easier. The Act gives the eSafety Commissioner the power to gather information to help identify and prosecute cyberbullies and to force the removal of offensive content, all under the threat of fines and injunctions. According to the Commonwealth Penalty Unit, the Online Safety Act 2021 (Cth) maximum penalty for an infringement is a fine.

Reference list

Commonwealth Consolidated Acts (2022). ONLINE SAFETY ACT 2021 - SECT 5 Definitions. [online] Australasian Legal Information Institute. Available at: https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/osa2021154/s5.html#cyber-bullying_material_targeted_at_an_australian_child [Accessed 17 Mar. 2024].

Government of Canada, CC for OH and S 2020, Internet Harassment or Cyberbullying: OSH Answers, www.ccohs.ca.

ONLINE SAFETY ACT 2021 - SECT 5 Definitions 2022, classic.austlii.edu.au, viewed 11 March 2024, <https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/osa2021154/s5.html#cyber-bullying_material_targeted_at_an_australian_child>.

Wolak, J, Mitchell, KJ & Finkelhor, D 2007, ‘Does Online Harassment Constitute Bullying? an Exploration of Online Harassment by Known Peers and Online-Only Contacts’, Journal of Adolescent Health, vol. 41, no. 6, Elsevier BV, pp. S51–S58.

#mda20009

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anauwhere · 3 years

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This post has so many notes and comments and it's basically a nasty j'accuse towards: 1. older women in fandom that are responsible of grooming and making everything creepy sexual 2. Rps(ofc ofc) 3. Age gap/ incest/ problematiques ships all of this made by adults with anime icons that are as cringe as the rest of us. Sex is gross and definitely eliminating it from every kind of fantasy bc only platonic friendship exists is the only way.

#today on gen z is the epitome of kill the witches whores #i am so tired especially by the tone of these posts bc it's like accusing people to be dirty and despicable #the same kind of shame that a bully creates in a victim

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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plagiarism and bullying

I am not sure how much readers of this community know about what’s been happening, but I know pretty much anyone who writes has been going through hell the last couple of months because of authors who have grown too big for their own heads - and have effectively managed to poison the entire community with their behavior, which is precisely what I feared.

And I am sick of it.

I am sick of what can only be described as psychological and emotional harrassment, done privately so people feel isolated and scared to post anything.

I am sick of people thinking they own tropes, alternate universes, clichés, pairings, characters, even GENERAL PLOT POINTS that no one can possibly possess and take ownership of.

I am sick of these same people being the ones who can’t see an idea being thrown in front of them before attaching themselves to it until the original author is forced to pull back on something they’ve been working on because this other person who they considered a friend posted it before (oh yeah. I know all about those of you who are calling out people as plagiarists while stealing WIPs from your friends).

So let me give it to you straight - and this is coming from someone who is actually a victim of plagiarism myself.

Every time one of you points a finger at someone else and shames them privately or even attacks them publicly for writing a story that has the same generic set-up (Steve finds your fanfiction, Bucky loses himself to the Winter Soldier, reader needs to be rescued by one of the supersoldiers) you’re doing all of the people in this community a disfavor, by 1. making everyone scared of publishing anything, because the entitlement for the littlelest things seems vindicated now and 2. you’re taking away from actual instances of plagiarism and authors who are having their entire works stolen.

Think of it this way: can I feel entitled to the concept of sex pollen? only one bed? in vino veritas? why can I feel entitled to this concept that I apparently came up with but that can be rewritten in a thousand different ways?

If someone else can take that generic summary and run with it in a way that’s their own, YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRADEMARK IT. It ISN’T an instance of intellectual property and it most definitely isn’t plagiarism.

You all have common sense. Use it. It’s one thing to copy an entire premise of a series, keep the same AU and character and change the lines of dialogue. It’s an entire different thing to create your own stepfather Bucky series, or mobster Steve series, or Alpha all of Chris’ characters (here, have one of “my own” ideas), with your own premise, your own ideas for each chapter and the other details of their relationship with the reader.

Or are you telling me from now on, there can be no more alpha!Bucky’s heat taking over him suddenly, Steve and Reader have to share a bed on a mission, stories with reader, charles and lee as a pairing or any other unusual one? Is that what we really want? To be the only suppliers of a certain trope, pairing or au? Can you see how your ego is affecting the entire fanfiction community hee on tumblr? Why authors are giving up on providing their fictional universes to welcome us into after a lousy day?

If your work inspired someone else’s, there’s a simple way to resolve it: reach out to the writer, confirm it was actually inspired by yours and ask them to give you credit. Credit is the actual solution for works that have been inspired by other works, but not bullying, not threats, not forcing someone to delete their own versions of a story we’re all actually sharing because bottom-line? We are all stealing Marvel’s characters and placing them on Shakespeare’s plot lines and the only thing we can do about it is add our porn and our own personal interpretations, imagination and developments.

And that means, of course: writers, if your story was inspired by someone else’s, please give them the proper credit. As I’m sure you’re aware, we are very quick to identify when something is similar to our creations, and it’s a fucking awful feeling. It’s what created this whole witch hunt over plagiarism in the first place, but while in 8/10 cases it isn’t actually plagiarism, it fucking sucks and it could have been easily prevented when it was just a matter of recognizing you aren’t the seventh wonder of the universe and actually got the inspiration to write that story from someone else.

In the same way, DON’T STEAL PEOPLE’S IDEAS WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT THEM. And no, THAT’S NOT PLAGIARISM either, it’s just common decency. They might even be okay with you writing the same idea, but it’s always nice to let them know and give them credit. Especially if it’s someone you consider a friend, but even more so if it’s something you saw as a snippet of a WIP on your timeline (as a general rule, I wouldn’t work on anything I thought intriguing only after I saw someone else was writing it).

And finally, still keeping that other point in mind: you don’t have the right to stop someone from working on something similar to what you’re writing. Can you imagine how many people are writing, at this exact moment, stories with the same premise? Of course, once it’s out, there’s a high chance the projects will be completely different, since each writer made it their own. I am willing to bet most of them didn’t copy from one another, they just happened to be interested in the same things - which is often the case here, prevented you aren’t an asshole that does what I described in the last paragraph.

I don’t know about you guys, but I am excited to read more stories about magical boading schools and I definitely hope J.K. Rowling won’t stop me from getting that.

Similarly, I beg you. You want to write your mafia!andy series? Please, do. The world needs your story. Just make sure it truly is your story that you’re telling.

tl;dr: plagiarism is a real issue, but never an excuse to bully people and traumatize them from writing. Writers, learn the difference between plagiarism and inspiration. If you do think it’s actual plagiarism you’re working with, please follow the following steps:

Before accusing anyone from plagiarism:

1. Actually talk to them without threatening or manipulating them so you can understand what happened and let them know how you feel. 80% of the times they’ll apologize and give you credit for it.

2. Unless you’re the reincarnation of William Shakespeare (and so being, you have the rights to all of the tropes and plot twists created in modern literature. go you!) - and prevented the “plagiarism” isn’t so obviously truly plagiarism, that it can be proven with two screenshots placed side by side - talk to someone unbiased who will tell you if what you think was stolen was actually stolen. There’s a good chance you’re being delusional and thinking the entire world is aware of your stories and looking forward to take advantage of your hard work on them.

A good rule of thumb? Don’t do to others what you don’t wish would be done to you, and make sure to apply that rule to the way you approach the situation and treat the person you were so quick to consider a villain. I’ve yet to see (in this community, since I got here) a situation where the writer accused of plagiarism when confronted has been anything other than kind and remorseful, ready to remedy the situation once it’s been brought to their attention.

If you’re so certain of being right, there’s literally no reason to be aggressive to someone who’s not treating you rudely.

#eyre rants #i am signing off for the foreseeable future

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

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While a positivity blog is great, posing it in opposition with the "call-out" blog immediately devalues it. The one person who was called out on that account (the original one) was an adult sexualizing teenagers who blocked anyone who tried to tell her that what she was doing was harmful. It makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors.

There's no way to "communicate" with someone who blocks anyone who tries to "call" them "in". a call out is a statement that this type of behavior isn't acceptable and a promise to make the fandom a safer space for teenagers.

I asked very respectfully not to send me follow up questions on this matter. Because this whole "call out" thing had been weighing on my mental health.

But once again, I keep getting dragged into this.

This my response to every ask I've gotten regarding this matter over the last few days. The asks I've been ignoring because it's not my place to give an opinion on this. Or rather, I do not have to. I don't have an obligation to do so.

But here we are.

The very reason I find the call out blog problematic is because of a sentence you said in your ask.

You mentioned that because I find the call out blog problematic and I quote "it makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors."

This is the problem.

The call out is not the problem. It's the way in which they are being called out.

Over the last few days, I've seen tsc blogs, for the lack of a better word, being "investigated". Posts dug from the past, follower lists analysed, screenshots posts and shared in public.

This is not a call out. A call out refers to interpersonal confrontations occurring between individuals on social media. In theory, call-outs should be very simple – someone does something wrong, people tell them, and they avoid doing it again in the future.

Now I understand you mentioned an individual refused to listen. I will not comment on that - since I do not know this individual personally or how they reacted. I do not prefer to talk about people I don't know personally. Neither the people calling them out - or the person being called out.

But what I can tell you is that when you call out someone, it only works when you point out why they are wrong, not what what they are doing is wrong. So, instead of calling someone a pedophile, it is essential to explain how their behaviour impacts you or your peers. It is important to address this issue in the larger fandom, not just by spamming one person's ask box. Because this issue is greater than one blog.

The reason why I don't condone this call out blog is because it is so easily possible to get carried away and overpunish people, turning alleged perpetrators of upsetting acts into victims themselves. The moral high ground people stand on evolves from calling out to public shaming of individuals.

I am requesting this entire fandom to rethink your actions and to reevaluate your choices. All of you.

It breaks my heart that you would say that I support adults who sexualise minors when have spent my whole adult life protecting children from such people. It is literally my job.

I recently saw one of my dearest friends being called "homophobic" because they support Jace - because Jace 'outed' Alec and therefore those who support Jace are also homophobic. It really hurt because I know the struggles my friend had to go through in order to protect themselves from their own homophobic family.

It makes me so sad and yet so angry that you are not aware of the consequences your words have on people.

People who make such claims. You seem to forget that we live in a digital world now. You all seem to forget that we are living through a pandemic. We study online. We work online. We entertain ourselves online.

So when you shame people online so callously, it can affect irreparable damage on their professional lives. It can ruin their mental health. It can impact their families.

While the intention of the callout blog - and those who support it - might be honest, the way in which they are achieving their goal is incredibly harmful for people in this fandom regardless of whether they are guilty or not.

I want to point out that this call out blog achieves nothing. It doesn't root out the pedophilia and sexism that exists on Tumblr - or in the fandom. The call out blog does't achieve anything. I'm sorry. It had to be said. The only thing this blog achieve is spreading a culture of shame, fear and stigma in the tsc fandom.

So, I urge you to rethink your actions and reevaluate your methods.

I do not believe in giving bland advice. So, as someone who works on these issues, allow me to point you in an healthier and more effective decision.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

If the goal is "a promise to make the fandom a healthier space for teenagers" then you are doing it wrong. I say this as someone who works on creating healthy spaces for teenagers. It's up to you whether you want to listen to me or not.

But you are going about it wrong. Here is what you can do instead.

1. What we are doing wrong? Currently, you seem to be focusing on the people - not the issue. If you want to make the space feel safe, you need to address the root cause. What differentiates a call-out from bullying is that it shouldn’t be about punishing someone for something they have done, rather it should be about establishing a new pattern of behavior. In other words, when someone calls you out they want you to start showing through your actions that you care about the issue you’ve been called out on. So, show that you care about the issue.

2. How do we show we care? Focus on the teenagers. You are focusing on the wrong group of people. Cancelling out someone or calling out a blog or getting someone to deactivate is not going to make teenagers feel safe. Trust me on this. You need to address the issue to the victims. You need to ASK THEM how they want to be feel safe. While your method might work for you, it might not be what everyone wants. It might not make everyone feel safe. So, talk to your peers. What is it that you can do for your own community? Is it writing an email to CC about this issue in the fandom? Is it addressing it in a larger platform like a magazine or YouTube? Is it reaching to Tumblr and talking to them about doing their job and enforcing the community guidelines efficiently? THIS is how you fix the problem - not by chasing people out when you find them to be problematic.

3. Why are you complicating this? Why can't we just call people out? Because then you will only be addresing the symptoms, not the root cause. I understand that most of you are minors and therefore will not have the same awareness about how the system works or don't ahem access to same resources and opportunities we adults do. But unfortunately, it is our reality. We all live online. We all need to educate ourselves and do better.

I'm sharing an excellent resource here which was developed by UN WOMEN in 2021 to speficially tackle the issue of bullying, disinformation and hate speech experienced by youth - especially young women. It's a free online course that helps you learn this topic better. It even gives you a certificate from the organization.

I am ALL for calling people out as long as you do it the right way. So, if you want to be a warrior on Tumblr, if you want to protect your peers, if you want to create a safe space, you need to learn how to do it the right way. Otherwise, like most social activists, you are doing more bad than good. Your attempts to create a better world only lead to more chaos and pain.

4. I still don't understand. Then here is a simply answer. I hope this helps.

Please make better choices. Be conscious of how your actions online affect people both in digital and offline spaces.

You are allowed to fight for your safety. You are allowed to fight for your rights. But you are not allowed to hurt another person to prove your point. Then your whole initiative becomes counterproductive.

You need to be more aware. You need think more critically.

Finally and most importantly - I once again ask that you do not drag me into this. I am not the president of this fandom. I am not your parent. While it is my job to create awareness and work on online safety, I am not on tumblr to be an activist. This is my safe space. This is my comfort space. This is where I come to take my mind off all the stressful and heartbreaking things I have to work on as an activist. I am here to shit post like most people. I do not have to teach you to be decent or how to be sensible or how to be kind. That is the job of the education system and your family.

I'm sorry those around you have failed you and it has come to this. I only hope you do not fail yourself.

Make better choices.

Love, Dani.

#tsc fandom #tsc #cyber bullying

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ficforthought · 3 years

Text

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

#ficforthought speaks #sorry not sorry #i spent way too long on this #purging the poison

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simonalkenmayer · 2 years

Text

Bullies choose to be bullies. Everyone deals with difficulty. Some even deal with abuse. Bullies choose to wrap their entire identity in hurting people who could actually be their allies, if they put aside the insecurity that makes them lash out. By bullying, they aren’t helping anyone, least of all themselves. Instead they are building huge architectures to explain why their hypocrisy isn’t. Why it’s alright for them to treat people in a way they’d never let people treat them, to ignore their laws, their faith, their stated purposes.

Is it really that bad, or do you need it to be that bad to justify how you treat people? That’s the question that the victim asks, that the bully cannot answer. To them shame and humility are the same. Humility is to be feared. Everything has to be a battle, especially the battles they can easily win, so that they appear to be bigger and stronger than they really feel. To the point that it becomes painful to watch. I see it again and again and again and again and they never see their own patterns, because they’re too busy being imprisoned by them. You can’t explain the pattern because that’s an attack. So they simply continue to live in it, alienate people, hurt people, break down groups, destroy communities, be either feared or ignored. And the saddest thing is, they almost never actually disagree with the people they target. They’d be on the same side. But everything has to be a battle, and no one can be trusted, and everything is a plot, and all defenses are acceptable.

Bullying is a disease. It destroys people. Like a carcinogenic chemical. Like acid. Even if they always win, they won’t win. Because people just let them win, so that they can walk away. They make themselves irrelevant and hated. They become ignored. And because no one will acknowledge them, they have to continue to burst into spaces they aren’t welcome, and bully.

It’s extremely sad. Just terribly terribly sad.

The internet is a limitless space. People can be who they are, without having to obey the laws of physics. And yet, the insecurity pulls itself out of the mud and rears its ugly head, and the disparities and trivialities of the real world, duplicate and replicate in this sterile space. Only it is much much worse. Trolling becomes a fun game. One person’s narcissistic pleasure becomes the goal of a group. People invert their weak and strong actors and take serious cues from people with only the barest of ideas of a plan built around control and causing suffering. The internet has done good things, but if you want to survive this century, you need to build etiquette online. Trolling, bullying, drama farming, all of that nonsense…it has to stop.

You will tear yourselves apart.

You can’t create spaces where learning is canceled and changing is a gotcha. You cannot create spaces in which bullies become leaders because of how well they tell you who is to blame. What I’m saying to you is, the way online discourse refines and rarifies communication, you construct the exact type of mind most susceptible to misinformation and manipulation.

You cannot let this happen. Right now it is literally at a tipping point to destroying the world, when a president can bully a child, or a senator can get play picking on a puppet and gain platforms.

Back when DNA sciences began to become very easy, I realized something profound. There were no laws forbidding a man from buying a PCR machine. There were no laws regulating what people can do in their garage. A person with enough knowledge can still to this day, but the machines needed to craft a deadly virus and release it into the world, and not one single law exists to stop them. But this is true of social media too. Memes and the way they replicate across minds tells us this quite easily.

I didn’t plan for the pandemic, but it became an organic experiment testing precisely what I have been worrying about. It became a catalyst for the exact kind of online activity that started me on this. The leader of the opposition to fascism posts selfies of his face dyed green by the caustic chemicals thrown in his face and gains marchers. Fascist uprisings and propaganda bred on Facebook by a company so corrupt it removed the failsafes to its algorithm to get engagement. People making social media posts to organize abortions for those who cannot get them because the Supreme Court wants likes from Trump’s Twitter rip-off parlor. We have wars being advertised alongside pharmaceuticals that health insurance won’t pay for. Climate change activists climbing coal cranes and posting videos to TickTok. A video of a man being murdered goes viral and triggers mass protests, and the opposition uses their hashtags to sow discord. People storm the capitol building for the first time in two centuries, and the FBI uses their own facebooks to hunt them down. People literally defy a deadly disease by advertising the ingestion of horse anti parasitic and toxic mud on tiktok. Elections being compromised by misinformation think tanks PAID FOR by revenue-generating farms like Five Minute Crafts. History being rewritten in cute memes and alpha male indoctrination. All online. All in your brains. All the time. In the palm of your hand. And one thing we’ve proven time and again is that the more a person sees or hears something, the truer they think it is, especially if it fits their latent bias.

This is not a joke. This is serious. Deadly serious. The human race ran out of battlegrounds, so it recapitulated them in metaphysical space. You can’t continue to treat it like it doesn’t matter, as if what happens here stays here. The bad guys certainly aren’t.

Online bullying is a gateway to extremism. It’s a precursor for programming the worst kind of people using the tiny computers in their hands.

Ask that question: is it that bad, or do I need it to be so I can justify how I treat them. Be honest. Don’t fight any and every battle, because the space is too large. Find the one you know how to fight and focus in. Understand what manipulation looks like and identify it openly. Identify the behavior. Target that, not the person. Let people change. Give them freedom to. Stop playing discourse.

TL;DR This isn’t a game. The internet is not a playpen anymore.

#the NSA has an entire department to study social media #that ought to tell you something #long post #text #essay #bullying #group dynamics

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everything-laito · 3 years

Text

Hypersexuality and Laito Sakamaki (UPDATED)

Hiya guys! Been a long ass time since I’ve made a post like this, I’ve been getting so much ask box activity + had school so I haven’t had the time to make an original post! This has been something I wanted to write for a while, and not only was I busy with school, but this one hits home hard to me personally, so I was going back and forth for a bit writing it. But I think I’m ready :)

I know there’s kind of a general consensus that anything DL related comes along with a trigger warning whether stated or not, but just a TW considering I’ll be talking about some real life experiences; not in depth or detail of course, but just mentions of it :) Not only is this a Laito analysis but it’s also an educational tool to help other people know about this!

So, without further ado, rant under the cut!

Hypersexuality is something that many sexual assault/harassment and rape survivors experience after the abuse. People associate asexuality or sexual repulsion as the only (or common) psychological affect after experiencing those situations. However, there is another affect that can happen, and it is more common than people think, and aforementioned, it’s hypersexuality. It’s basically having more sexual feeling and urges after the experience, in order to cope with the nonconsensual one. And it’s exactly what Laito experienced after Cordelia’s abuse.

I’ve also experienced something like this. I don’t believe I’ve experienced it in full swing, but definitely something like it. I haven’t been raped thankfully, but I have been sexually harassed/assaulted before a handful of times. I know I’ve briefly mentioned that in other analyses, but I’m just explicitly stating it here.

I first learned about hypersexuality this year actually, and my Laito nerd brain was like “holy shit that’s the name of what Laito is going through.” Then I was like “oh fuck I’ve gone through that a little bit too.” I thought going along with would help me “heal” myself, and it really was doing the opposite. (UPDATE: realized that what I thought was a lot of sexual trauma/hypersexuality was mostly compulsory heterosexuality (but still with those dabbled in too—quite a terrible combo) because last month I realized I’m not attracted to men! Although those experiences I mentioned did mess me up a bit, realizing this is a huge step in the right direction for my own mental well being. Just had to make this correction on my part, since the original post had more emotional investment than I would have liked it to :))

Like I have said in my little update, I realized I was going through mostly compulsory heterosexuality while also going through some minor sexual trauma/hypersexuality. Although again, I have not had it as bad as Laito has or other sexual assault survivors (which I am grateful for that), I still have a personal grasp of coping mechanisms with traumatic experiences or experiences I did not particularly enjoy. (If you are interested in learning more about compulsory heterosexuality, feel free to send me an ask! I just don’t feel that it’s appropriate to talk about it in regards to Laito or make a post about it, since it doesn’t relate to him)

And that’s probably also why I can resonate with Laito so much, at least on that scale, and even if I experienced a grain of what he’s going through. I know he’s fictional but these are definitely real experiences and real feelings.

Laito’s case is a bit different than just feeling overtly sexual. Although he’s trying to heal himself through sex and other intimate actions, he’s also doing it as a type of revenge. He doesn’t like purity, and in fact, he’s quite jealous of it. I’ve heard this is also a pretty human way of coping with this type of abuse, and it is why I love Yui as a character. She’s incredibly strong and sets an example for Laito. This makes Laito jealous yet entertained by her, and that’s also a reason why he probably keeps her around. He also attempts to use Yui as a vessel to avenge his own feelings (even not knowing about Cordelia being in her at first). I personally wasn’t like that, but given the circumstances, there’s definitely people who are. Laito’s character can be so human to me sometimes, its astonishing, despite him being a character, a vampire, and just generally does some wacky or terrible shit.

You could say his hypersexuality could also be similar to typical Pavlovian Conditioning. You’ve probably heard of the whole experiment of training (conditioning) a dog to expect food when they hear a certain sound and thus, his mouth waters. We’re conditioned by a lot of things in our lives, from triggering a “flight or fight” response from this specific ringtone or high school bell. It’s just a built in “routine” our minds utilize to process pattern recognition. I know I say this a lot, but we don’t know how vampire brains in the DL universe compare to human brains (and quite frank, I don’t think we will), so I will just do my typical human brain picking.

In Laito’s case, he was conditioned to “love” Cordelia in a fashion that was incredibly gross. No, I won’t sugar coat it. In my Cordelia/Laito analysis, I talk about how Laito was probably groomed. Grooming is another type of conditioning. Although I don’t believe his grooming was sexual, it definitely “prepares” the victim to be exploited in that fashion later on. It’s to build a false sense of trust to be betrayed. Later on, when Cordelia started having sex with Laito, he became used to it in a “conditioned” fashion. When someone said that Cordelia was calling him, he knew what it was. He also thought it’s what he wanted, even though he knew that he didn’t. I believe I have referenced his MB Dark Prologue monologue before, but not this part of it. Here’s the monologue:

――Who is it that I give my love to? Throwing myself away, I caught the sight of someone Someone I didn’t recognize, Suddenly, I realized I was looking into a mirror. The mirror reflected myself within it. I couldn’t see anything else. I am disgraceful for this greed. I was wearing a visage. What I wanted, certainly was love. It’s not that easy. Because of these words, I suffer. No matter how many times love is said, The only thing that will be important to me, Is only the physical contact and body.

I know I've said it in the Laito/Cordelia analysis, but Laito is visibly confused in his flashbacks. He’s trying to grasp what love is, but then convinces himself that love is physical contact, and not emotional connection, especially near the end. He knows he’s suffering but he is still conditioned to think like this. Same case for people who suffer from hypersexuality.

Although many people do not know why it occurs, it can be a symptom or “side effect” from disorders, medication, and the like. In the sexual trauma case, I believe a main reason is that the person utilizes sex to cope with trauma, or because they are used to sexual acts being forced upon them. That’s where conditioning still comes in. He’s treated as one of her suitors, lovers, or the like. Even as a stand-in for Richter and Karlheinz. He doesn’t consider Cordelia to be his mom until the DF Vampire ending. On top of him not receiving emotional gratification which leads to all sorts of just awful stuff for him, sexual attention is the only type that he receives until Yui comes along. He is used to not having emotional support or connections, which is why physical contact is what he is more “comfortable” with, while at the end of the day it still does not satisfy him.

It creates a positive feedback loop of him being unsatisfied, while being confused about where he’s unsatisfied in, leading to him trying to “fix” himself or avoid his own personal, emotional problems through lust and sex, but then still finding himself not “healing.” Then the cycle continues, enthusing his hyper sexual behavior even more.

I was sent some great articles from @souchiika on the DL discord (thank you so much!) and one of the articles stood out to me, since I did not talk about this type of topic on this blog yet. Here’s the link to the article, and here’s the quote that stood out to me!

Furthermore, indirect effects were also statistically significant, providing support to the hypothesis that depression and guilt would be serial mediators of trauma-hypersexual behavior relations. The paths through depression and guilt have been found to be the most significant with moderate and high indirect effects on hypersexuality. Moreover, male gender, as covariate variable, is a relevant risk factor for hypersexual behavior.

Hypersexuality is something that is still being researched like I mentioned earlier, but since these findings came out, it definitely makes sense in Laito’s case (and in general). Like I said, Laito does feel unsatisfied and even shameful of his actions, which is more apparent in the beginning of his and Cordelia’s “relationship.” In those flashbacks, he asks himself if this is what he really wants, and although he attempts to force himself to like these actions as a coping mechanism, there is still a relative degree of shame and guilt he has. It is also apparent nearing his DF Ecstacy ending when he finds out that Karlheinz foresaw Cordelia having sex with him, and even wanted it to happen. All that shame and guilt came bellowing out while he was in a fit of distress. In initial attempts to mediate this guilt and shame, he projected his feelings onto other women through sexual acts, leading to more of this hypersexual loop. I know I talk about Laito projecting a lot, but it is frequent in his character. Like I’ve always said, it’s typical “bully” power dynamic manipulation. If Laito can bring a victim of his down to his level, then he feels better about himself (but it satisfies him for only a short while, until Yui in MB+).

Also, note that this is no excuse or justification for him to rape or sexually assault others. It is merely an explanation as to why he does it (as for my posts in general, it’s not a justification, it’s an explanation).

Another reminder that rape and sexual assault isn’t about the sexual urges, but about power. That’s why anybody with any background can do it, given the circumstances.

This post was a bit hard for me to write, so I apologize if I got too overtly personal for your liking. Like I’ve said in the past, I’m not writing this to gain sympathy too, and sure that sounds superficial of me to say now (although I truly mean it), I just want to use my platform as an educational tool. Sorry about the change in my typical tone :)

Sorry if this was too much of a doozy, I really wanted to talk about it and to educate people, despite it being a bit personal. I just felt like the most effective way was to convey how real this topic is, despite this fandom knowing about it in a fictional setting.

I hope you have a great day! -Corn

#analysis #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #corn gets personal #sakamaki raito #raito sakamaki #diabolik lovers #dialover #dialovers #dl

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natblda · 3 years

Text

tw ;; rp abuse

reivcn

@alaskaslayer

@kennedybtvs

@tylerlockwoof

@sunnydalescoobies

i wasn’t going to do this. but i’m doing this. the next time you tell someone i was in love with you and talk shit about me or my muses in any fandom...check yourself. because i still have EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE, EVERY CHAT, EVERY GODDAMN THING BACKED UP AND DOZENS UPON DOZENS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEARNED STRAIGHT FROM YOU HOW TOXIC AND ABUSIVE YOU ARE...ALL ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT THE HELP FROM ME I ASSURE YOU. YOU ARE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE YOU TALKED SHIT ABOUT, I have all of that documented too, and you are interacting with them under a different alias. the number of messages i have received unprompted from people coming to me about the LIES YOU SPEW OUT, IS A MORE ABSURD NUMBER THAN YOU ARE A PERSON.

YOU are the reason you have NOTHING but your delusions, and NOTHING is keeping me from putting every single message i have on a google document because you are literally a predator to this community. i wasn’t going to do this, i really wasn’t. because the fact of the matter is...for someone who’s so ‘in love with you right’....you mean nothing to me. you DID THAT. not only did you abuse and gaslight me for YEARS, you abused my muse, you slut shamed her for having other verses, you called her a cheater for seeing other people, you threw in my face and her face nearly every goddamn time that luna interacted with anyone else ...that I QUOTE “RAVEN DOESN’T NEED OTHER VERSES JUST LUNA, WHY DOES LUNA NEED MORE THAN RAVEN, WHY IS RAVEN NOT ENOUGH, LUNA IS ENOUGH FOR RAVEN. WHERE IS RAVEN IN THIS REPLY? TELL THE OTHER MUSE RAVEN IS THERE SO THAT THEY KNOW LUNA IS TAKEN.”

like NO. how many times i said...get raven out there, let her explore, let her meet other people? it’s GOOD FOR HER? IT’S GREAT FOR MUSES? and you flipped at ME with that same gaslighting again. RAVEN ONLY WANTS LUNA. IT’S LUNA WHO CLEARLY NEEDS MORE. like honestly. the emotional abuse that you put me through and my muse through, to the point where i almost quit writing her? to the point where luna couldn’t even look at your raven without seeing YOUR NASTY BEHAVIOR BEHIND HER VOICE. and you would say...i cant interact with others bc no one in this fandom likes my raven, they all blocked me. BECAUSE OF YOU. BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT, AND DON’T WORRY, I HAVE YOUR MESSAGES SAYING THAT IT WAS YOUR FAULT AS A MEANS TO MAKE ME GO ‘awe poor you, you’re just misunderstood. they just know you like i do’. but the truth is? THEY DON’T KNOW YOU THE WAY I DO AND THE WAY EVERY PERSON WHO BLOCKED YOU DOES. POOR ANYONE WHO COMES INTO CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A PREDATOR AND A LEECH IN THE RPC.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN CALL OUT POSTS. BUT I DO BELIEVE IN SAYING MY PIECE WHEN I HAVE BEEN ISOLATED AND SUBJECTED TO YOU FOR YEARS UPON YEARS. and you have the audacity to talk shit about me saying that I WAS THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE ABOVE MENTIONED THINGS TO YOU? yeah that sounds familiar, bc everyone in the world abuses you, you are a victim of everything. literally everything. the number of times i heard you say “not to be racist but...” and then proceeded to spit something racist out of your white mouth. the number of times you were transphobic, hell...i don’t have to mention that, most people saw that on the dash because you outed yourself with ‘in 2012 people like me could use any fc we wanted with any gender orientation and it was fine so i can still do that!” like..no. i let slide so much that i should NEVER HAVE ALLOWED. I BIT MY TONGUE BC I THOUGHT...maybe she just...needs to be educated on these things, maybe she doesn’t know what she’s saying, maybe it’s just not registering how to be an honest and genuine person. like i get it, people bicker, they have misunderstandings, but at least have the goddamn audacity to be straight forward with it.

i learned today from a few people...that you accused ME of doing these things instantly upon meeting these people, not even knowing them, and you so readily spilled lies about me. and i figured out why...because you don’t have control of me anymore, you don’t control my muse anymore, because i cut the strings and i cut you out and i kept moving forward, i kept going on, happy...without you. interacting with raven’s who ARE RAVEN, NOT YOU and your narrative behind her face and name.

the hours i devoted to you, the hours, days, weeks, months, stating over and over again how I WAS YOUR FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE THAN THAT, AND YOU TRIED COUNTLESS TIMES TO BAIT ME. let’s see if you remember this.

“i told my friends you’re my girlfriend i hope that’s okay.”

and me...going, i mean we’re friends, i am not in the country, but assuming it was an issue with your self-esteem i said...i guess that’s fine but we’re friends, we probably hang out as much as gfs do but we ARE NOT. and then you turned around with...now you’re giving me mixed signals are we girlfriends? LIKE YOU LIED TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOU STRAIGHT UP KNOW WE WEREN’T , hence the ‘i told my friends you’re my girlfriends’ like you KNEW WE WEREN’T, SO YOU ALREADY KNEW THE GODDAMN ANSWER WAS NO, BUT YOUR DELUSIONS LITERALLY DONT GET IT AND SO YOU ATTEMPT TO BAIT. i’m sorry that after 4+ years sitting on skype every day i can not imagine being with someone i watched eat more out of their nose than of actual food. that was just the tip of the iceberg because then we’re going right back into all of the toxic nightmare you put me through, all the shaming you put luna through., and that carried into threads most of the time, luna having to look at raven and feel like a cheater. like you know what, like i said i wasn’t going to do this, but having just met some amazing rpers i am so blessed to be able to write with and hearing the kind of lies you spilled about me and this whole situation.

i’m going to go to the time when luna was single verse, single shipped with your raven, and when she would interact with FRIENDS, she was slapped for it, i was slapped for it. the time when you tried to pimp raven out in the IMs of one of our mutuals and then that mutual came to me and went...look, im not comfortable, my muse isn’t interested, i’m trying to respect the fact that you guys are single shipped but basically rowan is trying to get my muse to have sex with her. and i went...news to me, i thought we were single shipped, but from this day on...it’s best that we are not. because you know what, considering how many times luna had already been shamed for having friends at that point, to find out that you were ACTUALLY DOING what you were shaming luna for doing, when luna wasn’t doing it? pissed me off and completely broke my rp partner trust in you. and you were only pissed because you got caught, bc someone else was a genuine and respectful person enough to tell me about it. after all the shaming you threw at luna and it was YOU breaking the single ship status. NOT ME. and from that day forth i guess you know what they say...faithlessness breeds a guilty conscience.

i DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE PROTECTION FROM ME. A PREDATOR DOES NOT GET TO SIT BY AND SAY...I’M BEING BULLIED. and i know that’s what you’re going to say, i know because you’re a victim of everything and you depend on my silence and me protecting you bc i cared about the muses. BUT I DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE MY SILENCE. I WILL NOT BE SILENT TO PROTECT YOU. I WILL PROTECT MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS AND EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN SUBJECTED TO YOU, EVERYONE WHO WILL EVER HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF BEING SUBJECTED TO YOU, AND WHILE I DO THAT, I WILL BE MAKING THAT GOOGLE DOC.

SO...ROWAN, HIDING UNDER THE ALIAS OF CASS, [ an alias that she used in the past to make it seem like she had backup during an episode of her toxic behavior. yes. she created the alias and a clarke blog and conversed back and forth with herself on the dash so that it looked like she had someone backing her up when she was being passive aggressive on the dash ] she will likely find a dozen other alias to go by. i haven’t had to change mine, i haven’t had to hide, or move blogs, or switch anything just to get people to NOT KNOW WHO I AM, to trick people into interacting with me so that they think i’m someone else. she relied on my silence, she depended on me caring about the ship too much to speak up and defend myself or others, but i am done being silent.

#tw rp abuse #tw toxicity #tw gaslighting #just plain tw in general i am tired of being silent #im not putting this in MAIN tags bc this is FOR YOU #idc if anyone else reads it...it's for YOU #if i hear one more time from someone the kind of lies you've been spewing about me that will change #lose my number and keep my name out of your mouth #im done

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cbrosa-archived · 3 years

Note

What do you think of bam Margera’s meltdown on Instagram?

annoying, sad, piteous and as i said once: tragic. cringe-worthy is an understatement.

is unbelievable to me seeing this is now the same dude i embarrassingly/openly admit i had a crush on from 2000 till 2005. the same wild, workaholic, arrogant, adventurous, selfless generous when it came to family, creative and insufferable unhinged goth pirate i got to see in his prime coming out of nowhere in this cliche ‘from rags to riches’ dynamic- probably explained why i was into dudes that fucked up that skated, wore some baggy pants with the adio shoes, skipped therapy and listened to nu-metal but hey that’s another story.

some of the public figures i have seen and met from the 00s are doing well. retired properly. age gracefully with dignity, got happy arc endings or got their shit together while he just doesn’t seem to grasp the fact this ain’t 2003 no more which it means the cringe-worthy behaviour mixed with his ego that once made him rich and famous ain’t acceptable at this point anymore with his age and beyond washed-up status.

is depressing seeing how he just only at his lowest with no rock bottom yet, let’s be frank as much as i truly hope a damn miracle to happen a lot of us are prepared for his fate to not end well at this point - especially after the IG public meltdown manic mental induced drunk rants that started once again in february. he truly still believes he can STILL be rewarded for his attention seeking problematic and now abusive creepy trainwreck like ways which is crazy. is tiring and ridiculous like no wonder why his friends decided to remain distant of him, this clearly can explain his divorce with missy AAAAND that apparently his parents, brother and the rest of the jackass crew probably chose the same as much as they try to help him and look for nothing but the best for him.

sure, the man has gone through lots of dark kinds of abuse by people he trusted, i am aware of his eating disorders, i understand he’s mentally ill, that he sort of had a rough past as a poor kid who was treated like misfit trash by a lot of kids his age except his close friends, that he was often fat-shamed by his first ex and other people whiiiiich explains but does not excuse his obvious fatphobia towards himself, people, his dad and uncle, has been surrounded by leech-like enablers, that the fame lifestyle he was at got him on the drugs, booze and even toxic masculinity and of course you got ryan dunn’s death that makes the ultimate trigger of his evident demise.

however, none of these matters are excuses for him to keep acting like an immature, deluded, unreliable, bullying, pity-partying, self-victimizing manchild where he just doesn't want to grow a fucking pair. by the way, to all the new/old school fans who defend that specific attitude of his along with his karen-like, ridiculous use of the n-word, overal homophobia/misogyny and antivaxx mask off antics: congratulations! you’re nothing but some of his many enablers to his path of destruction just as much as the people who ridiculize him for all the invalid reasons i stated on his struggles.

whenever he claims dunn's death was the thing that started to get him where he is these days, is more than clear is just one of the many lies he LIVES into his own twisted toxic comfort he created for himself, because he’s been in that path of self-destruction since probably 2006, according to joe frantz and novak’s podcast ryan was actually on bam’s first failed intervention in 2009 and was actually the only one who could convince him to try it. which sadly reminds me that he could probably be the one to make him get his head out of his deluded, entitled and narcissistic ass which is firmly stuck on.

is the old tale of someone going through mental illness along with the disease of addiction. if the person suffering and going through these things is not willing to get the help available on their hands and doesn't want to surround with people who want the best for them and only yes individuals there’s pretty much nothing his family and few close friends cant do which are the ones i feel truly sadder for.

with all that said, i stick to remember everything bam/cky/jackass/vlb at the golden prime era which was from 1996 till 2006.

#part of the many things i have to say lol #anonymous #answered #bam margera #ask #bam shitty behaviour apologist dont you even try to come for me #y'all will be blocked xo

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spikeface · 3 years

Note

(consider this more of a writing prompt than a request) I tried to read Theo Raeken's fandom wiki but couldn't get a sense of him. Can you sell him qua OC? Who is he? What does he want? What does he fear? What are the worst things he's done and what internal logic did that run on? In what ways has he been heroic, even if it may have been unrecognizable to others as such? (Concretely I'm hoping to read any answer and launch into reading fic about him)

This is still a sketch. Canon leaves a lot of lacunae around Theo, so I play with them, but this is one version:

Theo’s childhood leaves him a twisted shell of a person. He’s pushed by the evil scientists who kidnap him and make him their servant (for convoluted plot reasons) to commit horrible acts, beginning with the death of his sister when he’s ten years old. His exact involvement in her death is not clear from the canon. He stands over her, very still, and watches her die, but it’s not clear if he coldly killed her or was simply a drugged victim of the scientists, who mess with people’s perception of reality. My headcanon, based on other canon references, is that the scientists, who are obsessed with creating “the perfect evil,” also push him to kill his parents and eat human flesh, and do lots of other awful things that he pretends don’t haunt him so he doesn’t go mad. Theo is very good at pretending, and learns to stifle his feelings to the point that he can really only be honest about them when he’s actively lying about something else. When he lies to the sheriff about witnessing a murder, for instance, he indirectly acts out his grief over the death of his sister as he chokes out, “I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything.”

After eight years with the evil scientists, he’s a wicked little gremlin. He’s a practiced liar and manipulator, whose speciality is to push people to embrace their darkest urges. When we meet him, he’s trying to turn Scott’s pack as dark as he is, to retroactively justify his own acts to himself, and to make it more certain that the pack will accept him for who he truly is. Theo wants very, very badly to be accepted. Part of it is personal, after a lonely life of being the scientists’ Igor, filled with self-loathing for the things he’s done. Part of it is also pragmatic; as the scientists grow closer to success (resurrecting an evil monster, don’t ask) they have less and less use for him. The scientists kill things they have no use for--failures. Theo isn’t a failure, but he’s not quite a success either, in the scientists’ eyes. Theo is petrified of failure, and the scientists. He wants the safety a powerful pack will provide. The stark difference in power between him and the scientists has led him to equate power and safety.

He works on corrupting all of Scott’s pack members, but focuses his efforts on Malia, Stiles, and Liam. He pushes Malia to try to kill her mother. If she does, no one could judge him for killing his own parents. He pushes Stiles to destroy his friendship with Scott. Stiles looks out for Scott the same way Theo’s sister looked out for him—if he’s actually terrible, deep down, then maybe his sister was too. Then no one could judge him for watching her die. With Liam, his goal is more cathartic. He wants Liam to lash out furiously at Scott for refusing to bite someone, especially when refusing means someone’s death.

Though Theo can pass for a werewolf, he’s actually a weak mockery of one, the result of the scientists’ surgeries rather than being bitten. It’s why his sister needed to die, her heart a necessary organ transplant before the scientists could begin their surgeries (show logic, don’t ask). Theo hates them for it, though he’s suppressed that emotion as a survival tactic while living under their cruel thumb. He tells himself he’s embraced their philosophy of experiments with the supernatural, but deep down is the plaintive question he had as a small, confused child: why didn’t they just make him a real werewolf? He would have been stronger, faster, better in every way than this half-thing they made him. He could have just been bitten, instead of all that surgery.

They wouldn’t have had to kill his sister, if they’d just made him a real werewolf.

Scott is the only one whom Theo can’t corrupt. He’s everything Theo isn’t: powerful, honest, accepted, not only a real werewolf but a special one. Unlike every other Alpha in existence—and Theo—he got his werewolf powers without anyone needing to die for it. Theo is obsessed with him. He needs to destroy him. He does.

Scott uses his dying breath to tell Theo that his pack will never accept him. Infuriatingly, he’s right.

He also comes back from the dead, which complicates Theo’s plans even further.

Theo makes his own pack of people he brings back from the dead. They’re all experiments the scientists no longer had any use for, which Theo hates as a potential reflection of himself, but they seem easy to control. He tries to make them embrace their darkest urges. He’s not quite successful. It doesn’t help that, in a bid for more power, Theo captures an Alpha named Deucalion, who is working to sabotage Theo as a favor to Scott. Deucalion drives some of Theo’s pack away, and shows Theo how to consume others for power. Faced with the choice between a pack and power, Theo chooses power. In the end, he consumes even Tracy, the one person who does actually accept Theo, for who he truly is, lovingly and unconditionally.

Theo is now very powerful. He’s also completely alone, having broken even with the scientists. He’s wretched. He hates Scott more than ever. He tries to kill him and his pack again—and finds himself promptly sent to a hellscape by one of Scott’s pack, where he wakes up to find his sister waiting for him, ready to rip his heart out, again and again and again.

Things get interesting when Liam brings him back from hell, hoping some of the powers he consumed will help them with their current crisis. Over the course of months in hell, however, Theo’s extra powers have been stripped away, along with his smug artifice and his will to live. When Malia starts to beat him to death in a fit of rage, he simply lets her, the same way he eventually simply let his sister take his heart over and over. He recovers from his hell-induced despair enough to try to manipulate and negotiate and generally gremlin his way to safety, but it’s clear he has no idea what to do beyond that. As the one who brought him back from hell, Liam feels responsible for him, which to him means making sure Theo isn’t a threat, bullying him into being helpful, hitting him when he’s being annoying, and offering genuine friendship to Theo if he does actually help. Theo alternates between coldly telling Liam that he’ll leave him for dead the first chance he gets, and almost compulsively saving Liam’s life. He also hits Liam, when he thinks he can get away with it. He’s never had a friend before.

After that crisis is over, Theo languishes. For the first time in his life, no one is telling him what to do. There’s nothing to prompt him to try to find power or a pack, or anything else he once failed at completely. He’s also homeless. And alone. When something creepy and supernatural happens to him in the middle of the night, the only person he can think to call is Scott—but he doesn’t, held back by shame. He remains, in my humble opinion, quite obsessed with Scott. I’m tipping my shipper hand here, but I think what was once the desire to destroy Scott has become the desire to have… something else from him. Not just forgiveness. Theo’s not sure what. It’s been a long time since he was honest with himself about what he feels. He’s working on it.

He chooses to stay in Beacon Hills. Mostly, he continues to lie and push, but he does it to help the pack--particularly Liam, who needs a lot of help with the same anger Theo once exploited. His most redemptive moment is when he chooses to ease a dying enemy’s pain, one of his first completely unselfish acts of kindness. The show ends with him as an “ally.”

#long post #theo raeken #teen wolf headcanon #teen wolf

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piracytheorist · 3 years

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So I went down some t*rf tags the other day to find which blogs I should block, as you do, and of course in order to avoid accidentally blocking people who were mocking the ideology or sarcastically agreeing with it, I actually read the posts there and scrolled down some of the blogs.

And with some of the things I saw... it made me understand how they reel people in. In some of the stuff they said, I understood them. I understood their struggle, and their anger, and I got how their feelings could make them burst out the way they do in their blogs. Also the fact that many of the blogs I scrolled down and blocked were by women between the ages of 15 and 19 didn’t help. That’s the exact age where you do the most reckless, the most emotional, and the least experienced thinking. It’s when you think of something and immediately think you’re right, because you’re not developed enough, neither mentally, nor emotionally, nor from the aspect of life experiences, to know better and reflect on how well developed your thoughts are.

And to see them act the same way older t**fs do, like in the ages of 26+... it’s fucking scary. It genuinely feels like a cult, where teen women, frustrated with the misogyny they experience, come to a website to vent out their feelings about that and find passionate adult women agreeing with and supporting them and saying that they’re in the right to hate men and trans women... it solidifies their at then immature thoughts.

Like, give me one (1) cis woman who during her mid- or late teens didn’t hate men, even for just a few months, in reaction to being treated as lesser just for having a female body. Just one. I specifically did. I was, for a couple of years actually, believing the bullshit going around that “Girls are more mature than boys”, that “Girls love truly, boys only want sex”, that “Women are statistically smarter than men” etc etc. But then you grow up, you reflect on those thoughts and you go like “Damn older people are right when they say that teenagers do stupid stuff sometimes”.

And that’s the thing with being a teenager; it’s the time to do mistakes, it’s the time to screw up, to vent out your frustrations, and when you grow older and have more life experience, look back at how you used to think and say “Wow, cringe. Good thing I grew out of that.” Absolutely not saying that everything teenagers do is stupid, if anything, most people start discovering themselves at that age. But that’s it; it’s a start. And on that road you’ll make mistakes, you’ll reflect, you’ll change your mind, you’ll learn, you’ll grow. The things that you start connecting with as a teenager which you keep on in your adult life also change, in the way that you look at them deeper, you understand them differently... it’s like with favourite films. Any movie you love as a teenager and as an adult, you’ll have a different mindset on the two occasions. Even if it brings you back to those times, you still have developed and you see it in a different way. Both ways may be positive, or fundamentally similar, but they’re still different, maybe one is the evolution of the first; it’s still not 100% the same. Because you grew up. It’s kinda sad, in a way.

So the issue I have with indoctrinating young women into the t**f ideology from so early on, is that it’s an ideology based on hate. By saying that women are only those who experience misogyny, you’re basically normalizing misogyny and abuse, and averting the blame. You’re saying that it’s expected from men to be misogynistic, and that women should band together against the oppression... instead of looking into why men are misogynistic and looking how you can inspire change in that. It’s victim blaming, basically.

By saying that “trans women are not women because they don’t grow up experiencing the effects of misogyny and patriarchy on themselves” (in a way that’s bullshit but as a cis woman I can’t expand on that, read trans women’s stories instead), you’re putting the responsibility of erasing misogyny on trans women. And again, you’re normalizing the abuse, and you’re defining your gender by the abuse you went through.

Like, fuck no. I was bullied for more than half my school life. It has impacted me greatly, many of the emotional scars I carry them still, my character has been affected by the abuse I went through, but by fuck no does it define me. I choose to try to be kinder. I choose to see abuse as wrong. I choose to be an educator so that I can help bullying stop being a thing in the schools I’ll be teaching. And not because I feel ashamed, or that I pity children who are being bullied, but because I want to make this world a better place, because I believe in teaching the younger generation into not perpetuating any kind of hateful ideology.

That’s not what t**fs do. They just say they hate men and perpetuate the idea of female supremacy... as if women, even women who are privileged in every way other than having a female body, can never do wrong.

Like on one hand, they deify JKR who said that “I am not a victim, I do not pity myself and I’m growing out of my trauma strong” in a very, very victim-shaming way, and on the other hand they define their femininity on the fact that they’re victimized by the patriarchy. Make it make sense.

And in general, it is still an ideology based on hate. When you take a group of people that are struggling both on the inside (either through gender dysphoria or through the pressure of not feeling free to express themselves) and on the outside (either because they’re bullied if they act “out of the gender norm” or because of transphobia if they come out), and you hate on them, when you put the entire responsibility of erasing unrealistic expectations on beauty and appearance for women on that specific small group that’s in a fundamentally disadvantageous position... bro I don’t know what you call it, I call it targeting. You have your frustrations with the patriarchy and sexist men, and because those people won’t listen to you - mostly because they’re privileged and assisted in that by the system they create - and you take it out on a group of people that’s just trying to live their lives in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone.

Like, I saw someone being upset by people comparing t**fs to nazis because she’s Jewish and I’m like... how the heck can you not see the similarities? How can you grow up Jewish and not see that it’s wrong to target an entire group of people, massively hate on them, say that they “have an agenda” just because they want to be themselves and aren’t hurting anyone? How can you not see that cherry-picking the unkind or misled ones and defining the entire group by those few people is wrong?

In fact, how can you not see that “trans women are perpetuating Hollywood’s beauty standards for women” has the exact same basis as “immigrants of colour are stealing white people’s jobs”?

And you may say, “Lillpon, you’re doing the same with t**fs right now. You’re going out there and blocking them after having said you hate blocking people” and I’ll say, I am not hating on them. As I said, I’m scared by seeing how many of them are teenagers, but at the same time, it’s telling. It’s a cult-like mentality, it finds people who are frustrated with how they are treated, who feel wronged, who feel they’re in an unjust world, and it takes those feelings and targets it to one specific group or characteristic. For t**rfs, that’s the XY chromosome set. For neo-nazis, that’s non-Caucasian races. The whole “finding young people who are alone, who see that the world is unjust, who feel no-one listening to them and indoctrinating them to an ideology of hate” is point-blank exactly how neo-nazi groups work. Here is a very interesting TED talk on the matter by a former neo-nazi, if you’re interested.

Also, I never said I hate blocking people, or that I think it’s wrong. I just don’t think it’s something to be proud of, and in fact I’m not proud for blocking those people, I even feel a little guilty as I understand how many of them are just victims of indoctrination.

You’ll say, “But Lillpon, a lot of neo-nazis are spoiled, privileged white men! How can you know how privileged t**fs are??” And to that, I’ll turn communist and whisper in your ear, “The privileged are few. They’re the minority. And they depend on the lower classes fighting against each other so that people forget that it’s the privileged who make all the laws and standards that hurt all the lower classes.” To that extent, you can never, never know who truly hides behind the blogs and twitter accounts with “r*dfem lesbian” on their bio. There are many occasions, especially on twitter, where accounts that claimed to be queer poc were found out to be run by straight white men.

... So, who can guarantee that everyone running a blog with “r*dfem lesbian” on their bio is actually a cis, lesbian woman? And again, on its basis, it’s the same.

Neo-nazism is putting the blame on people of colour; that not only causes a rift between neo-nazis and poc, but also between neo-nazis and white people who oppose them. It’s in fact a pawn so that the white people in power - the people who are responsible for the problems poc and lower class white people face - can avoid having everyone against them. They give poc and less-racist lower class white people a scapegoat.

T**f ideology is putting the blame on people born in male bodies - absolutely no matter what their character is. Again, that causes rifts between t**fs and cis men, t**fs and trans people, and t**fs and cis women who support trans rights. Instead of focusing on seeing how we can stop cis men from being sexist - which of course will inconvenience the men in power who rose so high because misogyny is holding women back - we’re fighting against each other. It’s again, a pawn, a scapegoat, to distract us from blaming the one who’s truly to blame.

If anything, if you’re a t**f, the fact that what you do is helping the white men in power - because absolutely nothing you or your friends can do can affect them in a negative way - should be a reason by itself to not be a t**f. But what do I know.

#anarchist lillpon coming out #long post

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