#the same way he does to us as a family

[alexiethymia]

With the reveal that Aduo didn’t actually want to be the mother of the nation, looks like we now have a concrete path to a happy ending for Jinshi.

Though I actually really want to see him as the Emperor one day (at least for a time), it would be thematically appropriate if Jinshi takes not after the Emperor, but after Gaoshun and becomes the retainer of the future Emperor.

#knh spoilers #kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #jinshi #aduo #maomao #looking at gaoshun and taomei #it does solve everything #jinshi would still be able to be close to the seat of power #and do good for the nation #in guiding the future emperor the same way gaoshun guided him #since he’s not power hungry he would have the emperor’s interests (not just as the leader of the nation) but as a family member at heart #and at the same time he wouldn’t be pressured to take in more than one spouse #maomao would be free to explore the nation as she pleases #the history of the owner of the jade plaque with the favored son of a former emperor #abdicating and eventually being given a name #seems to be foreshadowing for what will happen even if Jinshi’s true heritage does get out #I’m sure factions will try to use him as a piece #but in the same vein that maomao decided her own fate herself #it would make sense for Jinshi to achieve what he wants to do regardless of the circumstances of his birth #and it would be sweet if he took after his foster father #win win solution for everyone really #yeah ok I’ll be fine even if jinshi doesn’t become emperor as long as he becomes retainer #maomao would be better leading medical reforms rather than be an empress too #it would also be subversion of the usual chosen one will lead tropes #yeah no how about the secret prince becomes the mentor instead

[qtubbo]

This is such a random issue, but morning crew is a dynamic not just the people who wake up “early” for qsmp. It’s a group of people (Tubbo, Pac, and Fit) who hang out constantly, and have a more familial love for each other. Mike and Phil just aren’t part of morning crew, (in mikes case this is a very much a yet) phil just isn’t part of that dynamic, and Mike wasn’t well awake. Mike, Fit, and Pac are a different group (hideandseektrio) that’s probably going to end up merging with current morning crew. Once Pac comes back and all 4 start hanging out together, it’ll really be a test of their dynamic together. Mike already has a familial bound with Pac and Fit in the same vein but Tubbo just isn’t Mike’s family yet, and Mike just isn’t Tubbo’s. Hopefully soon though, im sure it’ll be easy to flow into.

#qsmp #Morning crew #I understand why people tried to include mike due to well being pacs practical soulmate #Im unsure why Phil was ever included since ccs never included him. I assume it was because phil doesn’t really have a group on qsmp #Unlike sbi probs people just found it easy to insert him into a family dynamic due to the last #Phil is friends with them all just not in the same way yuh know hes important to all of them just not in that dynamic #Like if we used the wake up early logic Pierre would also be included and as most can tell he does not have a familial bound with everyone #Even though he is friends with everyone

[dennistakesamentalhealthday]

dennis is an angry character btw im sorry but he is full of rage but that rage is not exclusive his anger does not negate sadness and fragility and insecurities in fact they work together and dtamhd was one of the first times where his anger was not used as a joke via a surface level rage explosion from him but instead explored the fragility of his anger. the way he keeps reassuring the workers he encounters (and himself) that he's not mad. when he tells daisy he's not mad but he is a little bit upset. dennis is angry and that anger is what makes him so fragile. he was upset and it manifested as rage bc he doesnt know what to do with his own sadness

#disclaimer tags yes i would like to see his emotions explored more but i disagree that we ONLY saw anger in dtamhd #and EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY ANGER... anger is just as VALID and fragile and vulnerable as sadness. they are family #we saw how his anger makes him fragile how it exhausts him #how it works with his stress and fears and insecurities and sadness #he was UPSET!!!! #angry dennis in dtamhd WAS big feelings dennis in tends bar. that was the same #he expressed anger in tends bar bc he was upset he expressed anger in dtamhd bc he was upset etc etc #and i think the sadness people were expecting was present. the sadness and fragility we would have seen if he cried on the beach like most #of us anticipated (btw he did cry at the beach <3 technically <3) was THERE. it was just in his anger #sewerkingcharlie talked about this already and worded it very well but im honestly kinda bothered by how some people have treated #the portrayal of anger and emotions in this ep #you dont have to like the ep or how they portrayed dennis but some posts have really given the vibe of #his anger and his emotional outburst not being as valid because it wasnt portrayed in the way you expected #or that it wasnt palatable enough #and honestly if you dont like it thats okay! but can we please be careful with how we talk about mental illness and anger outbursts! #yes it is frustrating when people ONLY see dennis' anger or see dennis' anger in a very shallow way #which a lot of the audience unfortunately does because its been treated like a joke #but it wasnt a just a joke here #and maybe this will all go past dudebros heads frankly i dont give a shit lol but thats for another post

[flareboi]

what if purple never calls him dad

#what if the word ‘dad’ is something purple doesn’t like. #what if it carries a bad connotation for them and a bitter reminder for mango. #family doesnt always have to look like one thing yknow? i dont think those two would have a traditional dynamic in that way #maybe purple does consider him their parent. they just dont call him ‘dad’ unless its in third person #and theyre fine with that and so is he #king is his father figure yes but he’s also a mom. a big brother. a sister. their dynamic just isnt captured in purple calling him ‘dad’ #maybe his name is the best way they can say it. the best way they can appreciate him #because for purple a father is someone who hurts you. someone who leaves you #i think ‘purple calls him dad on accident’ is a cute idea #but honestly it would make more sense if they called him mom on accident instead. or if it happened when they were afraid. not comfortable #(this is presuming orchid is his mother and navy his father based on the pronouns used in the react vids iirc) #because why would purple refer to someone he sees as a parent with the title of the one that presumably did not raise them? #and on mangos end #i think u can kinda tell who in this fandom has never lost a loved one in how they characterize him #guys. grief doesnt leave. it never leaves. #you just learn to live with it!!! #mango is not okay just because he has a new kid to take care of. i would know this my bio mom passed and i have a stepmother!!! #she does not fill that void and i do not expect her to because it cannot be filled. but she brings a lot new to ease the pain and is a #wonderful part of my life #the same thing here #mango will never ever just .. go back to how he was #he will never be the same since gold died. and thats okay #purple will not change that. they will merely add something new #their dynamic can be beautiful and nontraditional and a showing of how grief can change you #it doesnt have to be ‘replacement dad and replacement son’ #its so much more #oke. tag rant over #fett rambles #ava #uhh should i tag the chars

[actual-changeling]

Focusing a bit more on their ptsd lately because I want to and I can, this is set a few weeks after they got to Jackson so still pretty early on. Completely fluffy though, promise!

-

There is nothing worse than being alone in a crowd with no one to have your back.

Ellie's hypervigilance is in absolute overdrive after Silver Lake whenever she isn't too dissociated to perceive anything at all, and leaving the house becomes a choice between constantly looking around and driving herself half insane trying to look for something, anything dangerous and gritting her teeth and pushing through it while her brain screams at her that the worst things imaginable are seconds away from happening.

Both options are terrible, both leave her shaking and on edge, and any loud or unexpected noise makes her jump even when it is three streets down and completely unrelated to her. Going outside isn't safe, isn't fun, so she doesn't, and she is acutely aware that it's a problem she will need to solve one day, but for now her skin is stretched less tightly over her bones and the back of her neck only gives her the occasional jolt of paranoid electricity.

It doesn't even fully occur to ask someone for help when there is a movie at the theater she really wants to see that night, she thinks about it all day with a heaviness in her heart that almost has her put on her shoes and go anyway, but then the bell ringing for lunch has her almost falling out of her chair and she settles with the sour taste of defeat on her tongue. She would ask Joel to go with her, but they both know he is just as jumpy as she is, especially with her around in a closed space, and yeah it's a problem, but for now it is what it is, and she doesn't ask.

However, while she forgot about the obvious solution, Joel didn't.

That evening, Tommy comes over, which in by itself isn't surprising, that man is more at their house than at his sometimes, but he doesn't take off his shoes like he always does and waits for them in the hallway instead. She leans against his side in the greeting half-hug they tend to do, his arms around her shoulders, and the weight of it in her neck does the same thing Joel's hugs do - they absorb the panic and let it run through them into the ground, redirecting the lightning jumping across her skin. Ellie looks up at him and her face lights up before Tommy even gets the words out, putting two and two together and vibrating with excitement so bright she can't even feel stupid for not thinking about it herself.

"Ready for movie night?"

"Are you sure?"

Asking him that feels like she is stomping on a christmas present before even opening it, but her fingers are twisting in her shirt and joy is a warm, yellow sun in her chest, and she needs him to wants this as much as she does or she will feel bad for dragging him along. His hand settles on the back of her head and her gaze flicks between him and Joel, who is watching her and her only.

"Are you kidding me? Alien? Of course I'm gonna go see it, it's one of the best fucking movies ever."

There is a few seconds of silence and dizziness shoots straight into her head when she forgets to breathe, but then she falls forward and squeezes Tommy so tightly she can hear the air rushing out of him before letting go to put on her shoes. She is so focused on getting there before everyone else so they can get the best spots, planning out the quickest path to the building (although there really aren't that many options, more like three and a half possible routes), she only realizes Joel is shrugging on his jacket too when she turns to say her goodbye for the next few hours. There's a familiar tightness in his jaw, and she is pretty sure there's at least a knife somewhere on him, but his eyes are soft and she realizes that Tommy isn't just an additional anchor of security for her.

Paranoia grows all over her skin, a deep-seated itch she can never scratch enough, but Joel is right next to her and she can hear Tommy's footsteps behind her, and it is enough to keep it subdued enough for her to handle. They all silently come to the agreement to sit near the side rather than in the center, neither of them fully comfortable with being surrounded by people like that, and having space on one side, Joel on the other, and Tommy behind her makes it easy to forget about everyone else once the movie starts.

She jumps when someone accidentally kicks over a chair, and Joel gently squeezes her hand whenever she crushes his during the few times her brain tries to convince her everyone in the room is out to kill her, but they all make it through the next few hours without chewing on their panic the entire time. Tommy's quiet comments from behind her make up half the fun, and on the walk back, she paces circles around them while talking a mile a minute about a conflicting mess of a thoughts she cannot sort through in her excitement; Joel watches her just like he has been doing the entire night, and she doubts he heard a single line from the movie. The tension in his jaw has dissipated, though, and her lungs expand without resistance.

They stop right between their two homes, and for the first time since arriving in Jackson, Ellie feels almost sad to go back inside again. There's a moment of silence before she wraps herself around Tommy in another hug, her thank you a muffled whisper against his chest before she leans away, and it is hard to tell whether she is thanking him for having her back or for being family.

"Any time, sweetheart."

Both, she decides, and they all know without having to say a single word.

There is nothing worse than being alone in a crowd, but she is no longer just by herself, and although she forgets sometimes, there will always be someone to have her back now.

#alex writes tlou #the last of us #tlou #joel and ellie #ellie and tommy #miller family #ellie williams #joel miller #tommy miller #fanfic #yeah yeah this got longer than i intended same spiel as always #my brain is still being mean to me so this is both warm up and distraction #also i see ur asks i promise i just gotta find the right prompt/words in my head because i physically cannot just write something #without being happy with it #tommy loves alien and sci fi movies btw joel does NOT #but joel loves ellie and he loves seeing her happy so that is his entertainment for the night #also hypervigilance is a bitch and i wish i could logic it away but alas that is not possible #ellie and joel try their best though and tommy is like. the most well adjusted person in that family after maria and even he is still fucke #family nights ptsd edition they're all fucked up in some way but they have each other so it's okay

[oceanwithouthermoon]

idk if anyone else experiences this, but im SO bad at like picturing a characters voice when im reading something, like i guess some people can just automatically hear character voices of what theyre reading but it doesnt happen naturally for me at all so i always end up reading everything in my own voice.. but if im reading fanfiction or a book with a show/movie adaptation, i like to look up clips and try to listen to the characters voice while reading it so i can picture it better, and suddenly the text has SOOOO much more impact with the right voice.. i feel like this is gonna sound stupid or like common sense but i swear i just feel like im missing out because it doesnt have the same effect when i read it how i normally do..

very specifically talking about saiki, because he has such a specific tone and i just can't replicate it in my head no matter how hard i try, so whenever im reading the manga or a fic, i gotta listen to clips of him talking because the experience is so. much. better.

#I FEEL LIKE IM MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH ! I CAN NEVER READ IT THE WAY IT SHOULD BE READ !! #especially in fics where he gets even a little bit emotional- it doenst hit the same when read in MY voice cuz im so naturally expressive #i wish i could replicate how he would sound in my head cuz whenever i really really try and focus while using clips- IT HITS SO MUCH HARDER #this also ends with me accidentally mischaracterizing him cuz since i kin him heavily AND read him with my voice- #i sometimes end up reading him with MY tone and MY personality and its so not him at all and it doesnt have the same effect UGH UGH AUGH #sorry this actually does not make sense at all its just an autistic rant #idk what this is but i feel like its gotta be the autism cuz none of my allistic friends or family understand this or why it upsets me #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #meows post

[pwurrz]

zhongli really likes playing with childe’s hair but childe was kinda.. off put by it at first? he wasn’t really used to that kind of affection and the way it made him feel was even stranger to him.

it just.. felt really nice? and comforting? it made childe feel like he could let his guard down completely and that was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. he wants to just lean into the touch and enjoy it, being as touch starved as he is, but the harbinger in him is resistant.

zhongli notices this hesitation and asks childe if he wants him to stop. he thinks he understands, but he wants to make sure he’s not making childe uncomfortable. but childe always gives the same response, a quiet ‘..no’ while he tries and fails not to give into the urge to lean into the touch and purr like a cat.

#childe’s a little embarrassed by his response to affection early on in their relationship #he’s not used to receiving it so he’s very touch starved but he feels like purring and bunting isn’t behaviour fitting for a harbinger #it doesn’t take long for him to realize that he’s allowed to feel comfortable and safe around zhongli the same way he does with his family #now he melts into any affection zhongli gives him with a content smile on his face <3 #genshin impact #childe ♡ #zhongli ♡ #childe headcanons #zhongchi #tartali #zhongchi headcanons #tartali headcanons #mouser muses

[purple-petrichor]

MarriageToxin Profiles Vol.1

Haven’t seen these in English yet, so I’m posting them! Taken from the Japanese manga releases. Translated by myself. Sorry for the image quality;;

Gero Hikaru

DOB:  November 24th Blood Type:  A

Heir to the "poison user" Gero family. The type to have many copies of the same clothes. Keeps a large number of work tools under his coat. If the room he lives in isn’t constantly clean, he feels unsettled. On nights after something rough happened, he cleans public toilets and other places until they’re better than new. Due to that, rumors of an urban legend “the Midnight Cleaner” have begun to spread throughout one portion of the city.

Amount of money spent on DIY candy kits per month:  approx. 200,000 yen *(approx. $1,500 USD )

–

＊TL Notes:  Here’s Gero! Starting off strong with the main character.

Blood types are included in almost every profile in this series. In Japan, blood types are actually considered pretty important for determining one’s personality and romantic compatibility. It’s similar to Western astrology with star signs. For more detailed information, search google or read here. In Gero’s case, Blood Type A is actually the most statistically common in Japan (40% of the population) so that makes him a relatively normal guy. According to one article, “people with blood type A are known to be highly-organized, particularly precise, and pay much attention to details. They are diplomatic and friendly in nature, so you won’t have a hard time approaching them. They seek harmony among other people, but they sometimes prefer to be alone because of their sensitive nature.” Checks out overall. 

The DIY candy kits money is…far too much. Gero please what are you doing. Upon searching, a single package is like, $3.90 USD. So, $1500/$4 = 375 kits per month. That’s 93 per week. That’s 13 per day. Gero is the personification of that one dril “spend less on candles. no.” tweet. --

Kinosaki Mei

DOB:  May 18th Blood Type:  AB

A marriage swindler. Capable of winning-over any partner within 30 seconds. The possessor of an outstanding "mix-and-match" fashion coordination technique. On days off, ends up lounging around inside the house all day. After a long life in abject poverty, will eat anything. Once survived for 3 weeks based only off of gorging food on dates. Living space is small, and strewn with clutter. Is hiding a big secret. –

＊TL Notes:  The original text actually manages to avoid using any pronouns for Kinosaki. Given how Japanese is structured, it’s possible to sometimes drop a subject/object/pronoun entirely, without compromising the sentence. Unfortunately in English that’s much harder to manage, and often ends up sounding like you’re suspiciously trying to avoid the words. I tried to compromise here by arranging the text around. Just know that in the official text, they avoid giving any specific he/she gender markers for Kinosaki as of current.

For Blood Type: “This blood type is the combination of the precise qualities of A types and the free-spiritedness of B types. Given that it’s a rare blood type, people with this type are often perceived as geniuses or [eccentric]. They can be unpredictable and curious. People who belong to the AB type usually jump around from one activity to another, depending on their mood and situation. They chase ideal dreams and pursue learning and knowledge in a wide range of fields. They are calm and rational but have a complicated personality.”  Again, checks out for a swindler known for changing to handle any situation.

…Yes the final line does say “a big secret”. Uh. EDIT: Chapter 54 sheds new light on this line! Perhaps it’s not a dirty joke after all, but something far more tragic. 👀

More coming soon!

#marriagetoxin #gero hikaru #kinosaki mei #mei kinosaki #marriage toxin #MT profiles #lmao official Protagonist Syndrome multiple sets of the same clothes #congrats to Gero on becoming an official Cryptid #also November is uhhhh 9 months after Valentine’s Day #does the Gero family celebrate that or… #yknow at the start of the series I wondered if he ate candy kits and nothing else #we’ve seen him eat real food since #but given that budget I Wonder #Gero does the family have a special medicine to control your blood sugar or something #also I want to see Kinosaki eating chips and binging TV on his days off #love how the second line in Kino's could mean win someone in love or topple an opponent #the fashion term specifically refers to re-using the same item in different ways btw #must be that scarf he always wears #Gero’s clean room requirement is rly unfortunate given uh Kinosaki’s profile info #them living together would be a DISASTER

[taeyungie]

😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much. #he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months. #thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most. #but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated. #i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do. #to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓 #please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓 #we have esch other and we will be okay 💓 #sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

[freebooter4ever]

The tech guys are hanging out in my office again and chatting about $10,000 week long vacations like this is normal.

#Journal shit #Ah yes the life i gave up to be a grunt 3D generalist working on the lowest of the low entertainment \o/ #A lot of my friends here get mad at my dad for not being supportive #And i myself get frustrated at him for being insulting about my general life failure #But like....he has a point #I dont think he needed to treat me like yesterdays trash over it but #He was right i probably should have taken a programming job #But poor dad he got saddled with a child who is stubborn and tragically not financially motivated like at all #I mean he is the exact same damn way i feel like my dad forgets that it was just me and him for four years there #I saw how he lived without certain influences and he did not give a crap about status or money or fancy things #It wasnt until the rich bitch came along and started making him like...update his furniture every few years because *style* #and making him buy new designer coats every year so he doesn't embarrass himself in front of the other volleyball parents #Im just saying prior to the introduction of Steves Wife to our family these things just didnt exist to us #It does greatly entertain me that Steves Wife is not allowed to come to the ohio farm because everybody agreed that she just... #Could Not Handle The Poor #Anyway thats my dads idea of a vacation going to visit grandma on the farm this summer #And two guesses he and grandma will just sit around reading and doing puzzles and watching tennis #Pretty much exactly what i did when i went on vacation to visit her #I want to ask my dad if you think i am a failure what do you think of yourself i am exactly fucking like you for better or worse #Well i mean except i also did a lot of drawing of hockey players and grandma would lean over my shoulder #Saying things like *he looks like a nice young man* #yes grandma and he also racks up the penalty minutes like you wouldnt believe

[cuntwrap--supreme]

My mom texted me on her way to work this morning asking if I could make dinner tonight. Sure, I say, but I'm not making flavorless food. She asks what I meant, and I say I refuse to cook like she does, where everything is burnt and the most spice any dish gets is a pinch of ground peppercorn. So now I'm officially off dinner duty (thankfully!) because she can't stand anything with flavor. God forbid the turkey have been cooked with any spices. Chives in mashed potatoes? Unheard of. Spice blend in the roast vegetables? Impossible!

#christmas #food #dinner #white people #white people cooking #it's only due to working in kitchens so long that i know how to cook #now thinking about how i would still cook like my mom does if I'd never gotten that first kitchen job. scary thought. #my sister cooks in the same bland way because she's never learned how to combine flavors #like my sister made broccoli last night and it was just steamed. no spice. no nothing. #my family is also terrified of using garlic and onion - especislly if either is fresh #i one time made marinara from scratch and my mother wouldn't eat it because there were visible garlic chunks.... #or no one will eat what i cook if there are 'colors' in the food - which means if i make alfredo with peppers in it or meat with seasoning #my brother is the only person in my immediate family who appreciates good food so i only really cook if it's just me and him at home #he never complains about shit like onion powder in his food #I've tried showing him how to cook so he isn't also doomed to cook like a white person but he's so adhd that it doesn't hold his attention

[heartbreakinremission]

im losing my mind listening to would've could've should've thinking of laurent

#memories feel like weapons??? #holy FUCK #captive prince #laurent of vere #lord you made me feel important then you tried to erase us? #like damn #living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts!!! #im never gonna be able to think of this song the same way again #if i was some paint did it splatter on a promising grown man? #like yall #he looks at himself as a taint on his family #im not gonna be normal about this i can feel it already #i want to know how laurent felt when damen refused to sleep with nicaise #how must that have felt when the entire court of vere has turned a blind eye to what his uncle is doing? #like fuck #what kills me is we can see the 'if i'd never' perspective with laurent #its all a game he has failed at and needs to do better at #little does he know it was always going to go this way #gosh #imagine not even knowing you are part of a plot for the throne

[kirnet]

Stoja always needs to be paired with the unobtainable stern guy who doesn’t seem to care for her all that much bc she’s so used to people paying attention to her (her zero, her singing, her giant gorgeous biceps) that when someone doesnt she short circuits. One half of her respects it and the other needs their attention NOW

#her confidence and all of that is true. she knows she’s hot shit #but it’s also a front bc she’s pretty deeply insecure and unlovable and feels like her family situations are rough bc she wasn’t worth #loving (NOT NICK she loves Nick more than life itself and knows he’s the same) #she knows people likes her for her talents and her body so she leans into it. she knows she’s something to be consumed and objectified and #used which is why she leans into the fame bc at least then someone loves her #but when someone refuses to entertain that? oh boy oh boy her brain stops #and she falls in love a bit! but she only does it with people she knows are unobtainable bc she is terrified of being vulnerable #especially after 7 lol #so it’s just a way for her to convince herself that she can have real feelings while still putting herself in a situation where they can #never be followed through. so she has an excuse to be emotionally unavailable to everyone she hooks up with #wooo stoja phychoanalys moment #ramblings

[kummatty]

back home . this weekend was driving 12 hrs to redacted, getting ready in a rush in full langa voni (half sari) jewelry bangles etc in the hotel (probably took us 2 hrs bc hello), attending my cousins engagement party from 6-11, getting back changing repacking going to bed at 1am, waking up at 7 getting ready and driving 12 hrs back

#😷😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 #we couldve flown thats for sure but idk if it wouldve been any less hassle #the actual event itself didnt have as much drama as i thought it might #theres a lot of history w this uncle (father of my engaged cousin) #cant get into it now but i hate that man #funny thing is the ppl (my family) are saying hes regretting stuff hes done in the past as hes getting older #namely how he treated my mom and aunt (his sisters) #im not qualified to say whether its real or not bc i dont know him in any real way nor do i want to lmao #anywayy i was kinda surprised my cousin has as much sentiment for me as she does #i mean we are 8 days apart in age and spent a lot of time together as kids when my mom and i first moved to the us #cuz my uncle helped us out a lot (also exploited my mom a lot so) #but then he cut contact for 10 yrs so i didnt see my cousin again til i was in hs and we worked at the same place #i literally walked in one day and i was like is that ?? #wild #and now again we havent seen each other since hs until yesterday like. #anyway its cute and im gonna get coffee/drinks w her when im in nyc #mostly cuz im curious to see who shes become as a person :) #i suppose i did get into it lol

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

🔥unpopular charles opinion

The thing is, it’s not an opinion, really. The question isn’t meant to be a complaint or a rebuttal or anything. I just genuinely don’t get it! The question goes something like this.

So Charles/Klinger seems to be the one actively disliked ship in the fandom, discounting the h*nn*hawk vs p*erc*ntyre gang war and that one rabidly anti-hawnk person (lol). Most nobody has any love for the ship, because it’s stupid and OOC, of course, but mostly because it’s egregiously obviously racist and gross, which is the critique that seems most common, and to be of most importance to people.

And to be clear, for the purposes of this post I am wholly agreeing with all that! It’s distasteful and immoral and people who are into it are insane, including me. I’m not arguing against this line of thinking, I just wanted to look at its inner logic. Because when I first heard people saying this, I thought, “Yeah, makes sense, Charles is truthfully a terrible person with abhorrent opinions. Nobody watching this already unfortunately bigotry-riddled show is obligated to try and look past that! It is Always valid to hate Charles’ guts.”

But it turns out most of the fandom (I assume it must be most, given how shockingly few people here have blocked me) actually don’t hate Charles, in general. It’s the specific ship, not the character, that’s distasteful. (Not to say any Charles ship is anything resembling popular, but like with most ships, that’s just a result of the general population’s Hawkeye BJ Laser Focus Gaze. I’ve never seen anybody actively dislike these ships when they’re brought up.) And the more I think about it, the more I wonder why, because well. to put it bluntly. It’s not like someone stops being racist when they’re not actively interacting with a nonwhite person.

You know what I mean? I feel like Charles’ bigotry would be a turn off for all of our generally morally sound protagonists, not just one who happens to be personally affected by it. But it only becomes an issue when it involves Klinger. I’ve heard people say that any Charles/Klinger ship fic would obviously have to go out of its way to address Charles’ racism, but I’ve read a few Charles/Hawkeye and Charles/Donna (and Charles / other strange and varied choices too, because of course I have) fics–really, REALLY good fics, that captured the characters very nicely and are very beautifully written–and I’ve yet to find one that discusses The Bigotry In The Room with any degree of seriousness.

(Pssst this is everyone’s chance to absolutely dunk on me by sending me fics that do this if there actually are a bunch and I’ve just never read them because I would in fact LOVE to read some fics with that topic regardless of ship!)

And to be clear, that’s fine with me! I truly do not care. When I read Charles running away to Maine or romancing Ms. Parker and I don’t see his love interests stop to ask “Hey, um, so any updates on the fact that you and your whole family are eugenicists?”, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, because I just assume that Charles has already gone through the cult deprogramming step of his character development at some point prior to this, and either the love interest in question has already confirmed this off-page, or they are making the same assumption I am. After all, at least in Hawkeye’s case, the mere act of admitting romantic interest in a Democrat from the back of beyond would necessarily imply a shift in values, right?

(Admittedly, for all we canonically know Donna could be a fashy scumlord herself, so this reasoning doesn’t wholly apply there, but it obviously does to her fanon background/personality.) (Which is adorable, by the way. Everyone go check out the collective oeuvre of AO3 user onekisstotakewithme.)

So that’s all cool! It’s just that the same thing applies for me when it comes to Charles/Klinger. If anything, it applies even more, because you can have a fic where Charles’ whole family attend his and Donna’s 2nd wedding (Everyone go check out the collective oeuvre of AO3 user onekisstotakewithme!!!) but if Charles gets with Maxwell in any capacity, his father is at the very LEAST never going to speak to him again, ever. And personally I think that is SO fun and sexy, because Charles’ father is a white supremacist and I want him to die painfully forever and ever amen. <3

I got sidetracked a few times here and I just realized I never actually asked the question, which is, TL;DR: If it’s immoral–or at least gross and nonsensical–to ship Charles/Klinger, because Charles is bigoted, shouldn’t the same also apply to shipping Charles with many other characters too, given that they should logically also have a problem with his bigotry?

For what it’s worth, I have a bit of a theory about the answer to this, all to do with the incompetent way Charles’ bigotry (and other characters’ reactions to it) are portrayed in canon and the deeper Doylist factors that I think forced the showrunners into writing it like that, but I wanted to stay strictly on the topic of fandom attitudes for now, because it may be niche and silly, but I find it interesting. And I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on it!

#Did this sound rude? Was I totally incoherent? Is everyone mad at me now? All these questions & more swirling around in my brain right now #It seems like such an obvious thing I feel stupid even bringing it up because there must just be some huge thing I'm missing #but I can't figure out what it is! #There was so much more I wanted to bring up here as I said but I had to Stop haha #like sometime I also want to do a post on how most people seem to envision Charles fitting back into his family and his old life very well #and I always picture the exact opposite! Not just from a ''what I would want to have happen'' POV but also just #what I think would complete his arc in a satisfying way and build on the things that happened to him in canon #not saying he's gong to go home and become a commie immediately (ah! if only!) and I think he WOULD try DESPERATELY #to have everything be exactly the same. but I just don't think it would work! #like Margaret and unlike BJ or Hawkeye his pre-war life was not built on healthy sustainable or even ethical foundations #and that life is going to collapse in on him! #but ghdsjkgdsj STOP I will make a separate post later. enough controversy for today I'm sleepy #(but I also do SOOO want to make a post examining the insane inconsistencies in how the protags treat Charles and his bigotry cause it's #SIMPLY RIDIC #) #Hawkeye when he wants to have a little bonding moment with Charles: #I can excuse racism but I draw the line at failing to flirt with a 6'4'' millionaire. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! #and the thing is Maxwell also does this. but of course THAT isn't ok. wheezing. #Charles: god I fucking HATE [checks the list of protected minorities to find an ethnic group that's not on there] uhhh MEDITERRANEANS #Max who is used to long odds and is already mentally rehearsing his teary ''But officer! My husband was in that house!'' speech: #haha yeah ok Major. I think we are soulmates btw :) #THIS POST IS A DISASTER. APOLOGIES TO EVERYONE AND HAVE A NICE DAY. #Charles Emerson Winchester III #MASH #Starky loves answering questions #marley-manson #CHARMAX #Starky's Original Posts

[lupismaris]

Right. Called friend to ask her and her husband to come hangout tomorrow evening so i have someone to grocery shop with and help 'round the kitchen for meal prepping/cleaning out foods i can't have for the next month with a big pasta night dinner. Asking for help sucks when people have shamed you for it all your life but i promise you it is freeing and essential. She didn't even hesitate she just said yeah sounds great they'll be by after seeing another friend earlier in the day what can they bring. Sometimes it's that simple.

Gonna get dressed. Try and hold off a cry. Order a pizza. Pick up pre rolls. Pick up pizza. Come home. Have a smoke. Eat something. Watch Craig!bond probably. Call with Dec. In some order.

Somewhere in the mix have the big weighty cry i feel building.

Bath. Another smoke. Back to bed.

#the bf and mil being gone for a week is honestly probably a good thing i occasionally need moments to remember how to function #when im not existing (hypothetically of course) for the service and care of others #like all my cooking and such is focused on feeding a family and all my habits are built around a household of people #so i rarely know what to do when im forced or allowed to live on my own for a while #so this should be a good thing and it is! once im through this weekend ill likely be a bit relieved in some ways #but deeply deeply lonely in others. because i dont have an established local support system yet i feel very isolated etc #and with my most reliable person not here during a very overwhelming and stressful time its frabkly terrifying #bot because i need him to do everything for me but because i am used to knowing that if something does go to shit #he is at least in the next room to hear me panic and cry or witness me need the help and try to step in #so thats where the panic is this week. its lonely and nerve-wracking not having my person within reach or even the same timezone