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curvykittyyssmutfics · 2 months

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Dating Both Boys (NSFW Alphabet)

A = Aftercare: The boys are very aware they both leave your whole body soiled and brain fucked so stupid that it's only fair to run you a nice warm bubble bath, help wash away their cum and soothe your sore overworked limbs. Sometimes you put the pussy on em so good that Satoru falls into a dreamlesss slumber soon as he nuts, snorin in your ear with his softening length still lodged deep inside you. But Suguru ain't the one. Holds his nose till he gasps dramatically, ice blue eyes shootin open. "Wake up idiot. Go get the bath ready for her."

B = Body Part (fave): "Mouth!" Suguru's cheeks heat when his answer spills from his lips before you can get the question out. "Sorry. Just really love kissin you." "Aw, how sweet Sugu!" "And.. Seein your plump lips all glossed up, slidin up and down my dick.. Shit really does somethin to me.." "Sugu! Tsk. Can tell Toru's been a bad influence on you." Now Satoru comes up with a different response everytime, filthy ass gropin wherever he can reach each time you bring the topic up to get a direct answer. "Baby, how can I choose? You're so fuckin perfect. There's no part of you that can't make me nut till I drop." You shake your head at the horny fuck. "Maybe I should ask your dick instead since you only think with him, fuckin THOT." "Touchè, baby. Touchè.."

C = Cum: Since your white haired sorcerer is nothin short of an absolute terrorizing menace, he finds satisfaction in blanketing your face with his cum whenever you allow it. Will really jerk his cock off all in your grill and cum a second time if he doesn't deem the first load big enough. "Hmm.. Think that's enough. Can barely open your eyes now, pretty mama. Let's go show Sugu!" For Suguru it's a tie between stuffin your throat or cunt. Loves when you stick your tongue out to show him the mess before swallowin your reward. Sometimes he's nice enough to let you decide. "Tell me ma, should I feed this mouth up here? Or do your pretty brown lips below wanna taste this nut?"

D = Dirty Secret: You stumble upon the skeleton in their closet one bright sunny afternoon comin home from class. You'd stayed later to have a word with Yaga, declining the boys offer to wait up. You're just not expectin to catch a savage Satoru brutally mounting Suguru doggystyle inna way that makes you 100% sure this ain't the first time. You stare wide eyed through the cracked bedroom door, hand clamped over your mouth, thighs pressing together as your pussy flutters to the sight. Both men on the bed facin you, gruntin and growlin like hungry predators. Satoru feels your presence but pretends otherwise. Disgusting filth drippin from his lips as he speeds the pace, smackin Suguru's flesh and yankin on his dark locks so hard that he cries out like a whore. You watch intently, stunned but so fuckin turned on. Sure they've touched each other in front of you, handjobs and such, but it had always seemed like they only engaged cause it turned you into a supersoaker. You ain't never seen no orgasmic shit like this. Gotta slide your fingers into your panties for some well needed relief, mentally smackin yourself when a small moan slips out. "Well, well, well.. Looks like we got an audience Sugu." Satoru finally acknowledges you, not bothering to slow his hips as he tugs Suguru from the pillows by his tangled hair. His dark eyes meet yours, tinted cheeks flushin an even brighter red as shame fills his core. It was an interesting fuckin evening for sure.

E = Experience: Satoru of course was a man whore before he convinced you to give him a shot. You assume he'll be quite versed in the art of all things sexual and for the most part, he is. Skilled and so quick to get excited when he sees how good you're feelin. But sometimes you need to readjust his fingers or hips to the correct angle, remind him not to rush cause none of you aren't goin anywhere. "There, Toruuu.. Right there but not so fast. Got all night- right Sugu?" As far as your other boyfriend was concerned, you hit the fuckin jackpot cause he was a virgin when you guys started dating. It really is a holy experience to be able to corrupt thee Suguru Geto. Though you feel bad when Satoru teases him on you bein the only pussy he's ever gotten. "Shut up Toru. Or I'll tie you up, not let you cum while you watch me drain Sugu's fat balls." Satoru smacks his lips and the back of Suguru's head in irritation. "See woman? You be choosin.."

F = Favorite Position: Satoru's breath catches in his throat, a glowing brightness fraying the edges of his vision the first time he gets you on all fours, baring witness to that almost back breakin arch. You're a godess to him, especially in this position- perfect round ass jiggling widly, smackin his pelvis in thundering claps. Sticky strings of your shared arousal connecting you both every time he pulls his hips back. Don't get him started on your reactions. Your feral as shit in this position. "Fuck, could you be any louder? Hm? No really baby, can you? Let's test it out." Suguru doesn't agree with Satoru on much but your ass is definitely just as hypnotizing to him. Though he prefers you in reverse cowgirl, smackin both hands down your dimpled cheeks till they burn more than your strained thighs. Even spreads them, smilin when you get all shy and flabbergasted as he stares longingly at your winking holes. Doesn't ever forget to make sure a mirrors nearby so he doesn't miss your tits matchin the rythym of your voluptuous hips. "Good God, y/nnn.. Killin me baby- oh fuck! Bouta cum!" "Nooo, only b-been a few minutes Suguuu!"

G = Goofy: The three of you've been together so long, bond so deeply rooted, they absolutely feel free to be carelessly humorous with you. Even in vulnerable moments. Satoru especially, lovin to put his mean dom twist on it. Mocks your strangled pleas and breathless cries of his name as he grins and wreaks havoc on your clit. Suguru is more reserved when he's inside you. Mostly waits for you to initiate; usually a dirty joke bout how big he is. He offers a huffed chuckle and a quick quip as he takes you apart piece by piece. "All the better to fuck you with my dear."

H = Hair: The carpet absolutely matches the drapes on these gorgeous hunk of men. Does it really surprise a soul that Suguru keeps his shit as neat as the hair on his head? Both men trim, though Satoru may forget and need a reminder. Bonus: Your fresh out the bath, towel wrapped round your curvy body snugly, sittin on the edge of the tub. Your lookin for an escape route as Suguru stands by the sink pleading with you. "Please y/n? All you gotta do is lay back and spread for us." "Ew. Why Sugu? So freakin gross!" You whine back. "No it's not. Perfectly normal thing for couples to do. Right, Toru?" You both look to a chill Satoru leaned against the bathroom doorway. "Course it is. But even if it weren't, that wouldn't stop us sweetheart. You should know that by now." "But I always shave myself down there. Why do you want to?" "Cause it'll bring us closer baby, you'll see." You look at Satoru again but he shrugs, giftin you a dazzling smile. "Fine." You grumble. "Great! Toru go get the bowl of water and razor in the kitchen, you know where." "On it!" He whizzes from the room as you instantly realize this was prearranged. "Fuckin freaky plotters!"

I = I Love You: Even though Satoru's shallow ass confessed during sex, he meant it with all his heart. But neither you or Suguru had said it yet and rejection was an experience he wasn't fond of. Regardless, it slips one day when he's got you missionary. Fingers linked as he sensually makes love to you, nut just over the horizon. You're so needy, beggin him to tell you how good you're makin him feel; to tell you how much he needs you. "Oh fuck yes you're a good girl. No one can take me better baby. Mmm.. Please don't ever take my pussy away.. Ahhh- so good sweetheart! Love it so much. Looove this pussy.. Shiiit cummin, y/n! Love you so much, babygirl!" With Suguru it comes when you offer the perfect solution to the issue of the curses he swallows tastin like shit onna stick, although it takes a considerable amout of your cursed energy and temporarily weakens you severely. "Can't believe you did this for me. Thank you, princess. So so fuckin much. I appre- no y/n. I love you. Love you forever and a day, babe."

J = Jerking Off: It's all Suguru knew at one point so now that he's sampled sex with you, he's grown a serious disliking to makin himself cum. But he doesn't like to impose on you. You're a busy woman, as well as you put in a lot of time and energy into keepin both your men happy in any way you can. So when he gets an inkling that you need a break, he'll head to the bathroom to handle business. Makes sure to bring his cell, full of sexy pics and vids of his lovers. Satoru is a bit more selfish. Realistically, the man probably only jerks off alone 7-8 times a year. Makes sure that either of his partners lend a helping hand whenever he gets too pent up. Other than that if his hands on his dick it's aim or tease.

K = Kink: Suguru's into a lil role play, spit kink, edging, a smidge of voyeurism and a whole lotta breeding. Might actually die of embarrasment if you ever found out about the latter. Told Satoru they'd battle to the death if he ever snitched. Wants 10 babies that look just like his lovers. You're both so beautiful, can you blame him? And Satoru has too many kinks to count, we'd be here all day tryin to list em all. But some of his faves include light BDSM, Daddy kink sprinkled with some puppy play, and of course some somno. He wasn't sure how to introduce the last one into the fold though. How was he ever supposed to tell his princess, or even Suguru for that matter, that he drools daily fantasizing about slidin into your unconscious body. Wants to see if he can fuck that perfect pussy to an orgasm while you sleep, needs you to lay there all warm and pliant, oblivious to him usin you like a pocket pussy.

L = Location: Satoru is a connoisseur of public relations. Literally any fuckin where. The amount of joy he finds from you pullin out all the stops in effort to hold in your pitchy moans is fuckin sickening. From him feastin on your pulsing clit in the car in the movie theater parking lot to fingerin you in a booth at your fave restaurant. It's all the more worse when he taunts you with his soft pink mouth, kissin up and down your neck tenderly as you try to hide the way your eyes cross behind your menu. But Suguru beats Satoru in depravity this time. It's a whole new level of sick how much he delighted in fuckin you in your childhood bed when you take them to meet your parents. You thank God they ran to the store to grab a few items to for dinner. Satoru begrudgingly plays watch-out by the front door as Suguru fucked you so hard he splintered the headboard against the wall. He's been absolutely infatuated with doin it again since.

M = Motivation: It doesn't take much to get the boys ready for some action. You poke fun at them constantly bout how easy it is to make their dicks rise to the occasion. But they take it on the chin easily cause they know its 100% true. They'll never not be able to get hard for you at the drop of a dime, even after a couple rounds. Run your fingers through Suguru's black mane, nails scratching his scalp how he likes and now he's sittin in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he tries to hide the tent in his pants. "Not my fault Sugar- you know what that does to me!" It's even less work for Satoru, only havin to give him your signature bedroom eyes. He's immediately hard, trippin over his pants and underwear while he tries to take them off as he chases you to the bedroom. "Better come back- y/n! Bring my pussy back here, now!"

N = No: There just isn't many ways for you to gross your men out or turn them off. With that being said shit play and piss play isn't in the cards for you three. Like thanks, but no thanks! Well.. except that one time you told Satoru to stop as he bounced you on his dick, moaning out that you had to pee. He refused. Chalked it up to you gettin ready to squirt, like you were known to do from time to time. But Mr. Know It All was wrong and got wet the fuck up. His only response was to slam you down by your shoulders and creampie you with a loud pitiful whine. To this day he argues that you squirted. "Nice try. But not likely, sir." "Well.. Either way I'm fuckin." "You really are a fuckin freak, Toru."

O = Oral: Neither are stingy in the department. Both your boy's eyes light up like kids in a candy store when they get to eat you out. In part to satiate their own needs but also because of how much they know you enjoy it. Suguru waits with bated breath to hear yours catch when he holds your gaze and slowly sinks to his knees in front of you. Cums untouched the way you shudder as he nurses your nub, thick thighs squeezin his ears tight as hell. And Satoru's equally obsessed with the taste of you. The times you allow him to tie you up though.. It's a roll if the dice if he's gonna overstim you or not. Usin his mouth is his fave way to overwhelm you, big hands tuggin you back onto his swollen lips when you attempt to run from his talented tongue.

P = Pace: It's just depends on the mood. Chiiile.. Both of em are waaay too versatile to stick with a singular speed. One of the reasons why your guys sex life's so great is because of how spontaneous they are- in every way. Satoru especially, peepin your reactions; waitin till your nice and relaxed, gradually stroking in before pullin out, angling just right and fuckin in quicker than speedy gonzales. Drools how your fat jiggles from his sudden jarring thrusts. "Aww. Poor lil cry baby.. What's that, honey? Faster? Heh. Anything for you baby." Similarly Suguru will tease you too. Or just plain out ask you what your in the mood for. "So how you wanna doin this thang, mama? Want me to play nice or not? ... Oh yeah? Better cancel your plans then girl. Finna tear it up.."

Q = Quickie: Suguru's much better at em than Satoru. Makes sure you not to wrinkle your clothes if there's not enough time to strip you. And always asks where you want him to cum so it's not an inconvenience. "Ahhh fuck.. It's comin honey- where you want it? ... Inside? Ohhh thank fuck, here it is sweet girl. Take that shit.." But Satoru loves to ravish you so he turns his nose up at quickies. That's not to say his pussy whipped ass isn't gonna fuck but he always rolls his eyes and huffs in exasperation when you tell him to hurry up or becareful of your hair. "Fuckin hell, woman.. Would you shush up and lemme do my job while you do yours? Just sit pretty and take this dick like a good girl."

R = Risk: Satoru's always game to experiment when it comes to doin shit to you. A bit more reserved concerning you wantin to do somethin he considers to be 'psychotic'. "Oh come on Toru. Don't be a scaredy cat!" He stiffens, chiseled chest pokin out as he lays up all spread out on the bed with you in between his legs. "It's just a finger! You know you've done a lot worse to Sugu." Satoru sputters at you, arms crossin across his chest indignantly. "Whatever. I'm not saying no, I said go slow." "Ok, ok.. yeesh.. Big baby." You say the latter under your breath with a smirk. "Heard that shit, woman!" Now Suguru's just as cautious. And that's probably a good thing since you guys tend to test each others limitations. "Y/n, you can't be serious! You realize you're just gonna give the egomaniacal bastard another power trip, right?" He fumes at a silent grinning Satoru. "Please baby, it's for me. Forget he's even there. Focus on me, handsome." You advise him sweetly, gently pushin him to his knees. Finally givin Satoru the opportunity to force his dick between Suguru's dark blush lips. He does as you say, holding your adoring gaze, large palms settling on Satoru's narrow hips. "Thats it, just like that Sugu. Doin so well, don't even need any help." Satoru pants and groans, holdin the sides of Suguru's head as he eases in and out of his warm wet mouth, mentally noting the lack of a gag reflex. "Fuuuuck, she ain't lyin babe. You're a fuckin natural."

S = Stamina: You can get your men to cum multiple times during a session, both bein able to shoot about 3-4 nuts before the overstimulation is damn near crippling. Though on the norm, since you already have two big strong men to take care of, they let you off the hook with an orgasm each. Can't blame a girl for being good at doin the do! But to set the record straight, they can fuck way longer than you can take. You usually max out your stamina by the end of round 2. But neither ever mind. They just scoop you up and carry your fatigued frame to the shared bathroom. "My poor tired woman. Had to use the safe word.. Did so good for us though, mama. That right, Toru?" A nude half hard Satoru trails behind, feelin a smidge of guilt at your half conscience state. "Fuck yeah. You did 'mazin tonight, sweetheart. Don't worry, we'll take care of you now. ... And Sugu.. Maybe later.. You can finish takin care of me?" His tone pathetically hopeful. "For cryin out loud, horndog. Can we just get her cleaned up first? ... Then we'll, uh... We'll see what happens." The giddy bounce Satoru does in obvious anticipation as he runs your bath, lengthy cock now drippin and at full mass again, makes Suguru blush like a virgin.

T = Toys: Ofcourse y'all add a few toys to the mix every now and again. You prefer air pulsing vibrators instead of the extra intense devices that can be numbing. The boys love using em as foreplay, otherwise they're mainly for when you're alone. Satoru has a good size chest of shit- whips, nipple clamps, ball gags and even an unassembled sex swing. There's a bunch more and you haven't tried em all yet but can't wait. But you like to play and feign disinterest when he brings up his nasty lil box. They know better though. Suguru's not entirely experienced when it comes to this area but even he notices how much wetter you get when they use toys. And it's no problem when Satoru has to teach him how to use some of em on you cause he's a real quick learner. There's just somethin real naughty bout seein you cuffed to the spreader bar, sight never fails to get him impatient as hell. "Move Toru, needa fuck her first tonight." He breathes, rudely bumpin Satoru to the side with his shoulder. "Ok, ok. Geez, Sugu. Don't gott be a dick bout it. And try not to cum too quick this time." He chuckles at the blatant eagerness, but Suguru's not amused. "Quiet. Or I'll put you in the spreader and fuck you next." He's just talkin shit, already sinkin into your heat and forgetting bout Satoru's incessant taunting. So preoccupied with you that he misses the way Satoru's dick twitches as he gulps audibly, imagining Suguru's empty threat in his filthy mind.

U = Uncut: Satoru's circumcised with a lengthy cock. You often wonder if it's as long as his lanky body, how far it reaches inside, easily able to jam your poor gspot repeatedly if need be. He's got your throat trained real good without even tryin cause of how thick it is. But it just doesn't compare to the depth this man reaches inside you. He's got more veins than Suguru too. Your fave protrudes and twists round his base, beggin to be licked when he's fully hard. But Suguru's uncut, almost as extended as Satoru, though has a more girth to him. Takes him no time for his cock to rage red when he's been stiff for too long. Also spills alot more precum than Satoru. Loves when you pull the skin back and suck softly, effectively siphoning the clear fluid from his slit till he's nuttin a big fat load down your throat.

V = Volume: To this day you don't know why Suguru sometimes tries to bite his lips or fist to muffle the beautiful noises that slip out. His deep gruff grunts are so quiet, opting to tell you in words how good he feels or when he's bout to cum. It's something you work on, constantly reminding him there's no shame in voicing how good he feels. But when you put the pussy on him too good or he's too pent up, which is pretty often, he's less self conscious. Huffin and puffin against your moist mouth, lewd phrases tumbling from him nonstop. You're not even sure he knows what he's saying half the time. You're eventually inhaling his loud piteous moans into your mouth as he loses his mind in your lil puss. And of course we all know Satoru's a screamer. He never shuts the fuck anyway, so why would he do so in the bedroom? It's starts of with booming cries into your ear that eventually end up with wails of how good you feel echoing round the room. He's not doing it on purpose, but as soon as his mouth opens when he's in-between your thighs, you and your neighbors are definitely bout to hear an earful.

W = Wild Card: (Fucking to Music) It's something you initiated but Satoru was definitely wit it. Boys got more rythym in his hips than you and it should be fuckin illegal. You give him a list of your favorite love makin songs and he brings back a playlist, adding a few nasty songs of his own that got no business bein played anywhere but Functions. He's loves gettin you in missionary, rollin his hips into yours seductively as he matches the slow beat. An aroused sob rips from your chest out your mouth when he lessens the pace, singing the words quietly at your ear as he cages you to the bed. This is when Suguru's voyeurism kicks in, skin heatin up as lays in bed next to you guys; watchin your love making turn to frenzied fucking as the song changes, taking notes on how Satoru's tempo never strays from the flow of the music. Can't wait to show you what he can do next.

X = X-ray: Satoru likes to be ready for the pussy at drop of a dime so you're used to him goin commando most days but you are so not a fan.. Even when you tease him, tossin him a clean pair of Suguru's boxers and tellin him he's onna coochie restriction if he dont start wearin some damn drawers round here. "Fuck is that?" You scoff and put your hands on your shapely hips. "Means you aint gettin no pussy till you start wearin underwear, you lil hoe." He clutches his heart, feigning chest pains as you roll your eyes at his dramatics. "Don't play with me like that sweetheart. Guess you win.." You really don't though. The next time you yank down his bottoms, eyes wide before grippin your belly in hysterics at the fact that he's wearing a pair of your lacy panties. "Satoru!" You manage through your giggle fit but he only professes his innocence."What? I'm just doin what you told me to! Do I get the pussy now?" Suguru watches the reoccurring debacle in amusement, glad he has no issue with wearin his trusted snug black boxer briefs. You always make sure to give him extra big smooch when they're bout to leave the house, opting to ruffle Satoru's soft white hair instead as you try not grin at his pout. "What? Not my fault Sugu's a good boy that doesn't walk round in public slangin his dick print everywhere." Satoru huffs his disdain for Suguru's 'ass kissin', declaring him a teachers pet.

Y = Yearning: Between your two sex crazed men, their libido is very very high. It's to be expected since your guys attraction and chemistry has been on point since before you officially started dating. It really is like were made for one another. But if they're not specifically careful, they'll easily wear you out. It's unavoidable, you just turn them on too fuckin much. Suguru will even try to slake his desires by jerking off over your tired frame after they've fucked you into exhaustion. "Shit! 'S not enough, forgive me baby. Just need a lil more. Won't fuck you anymore, dont worry! Just need to feel you, my one and only girl." Rubs his cock all over your sweaty body cause his hand just doesn't compare to any part of your soft flawless mocha frame. Cums as he trace his dick across your stretch marks, moaning how pretty and perfect you are. "F-fuuuck.. So sorry, honey. Ahshit! Gonna let you rest, almost done. Just lemme- ohhh fuck, 'm cummin!" Satoru can't contain himself either, difference bein he doesn't even attempt to. Sometimes Suguru has to leave when he's still fuckin you, reminds Satoru that you might need a break soon on his way out but all he gets is a noncommitted hum. You try nudging at his abdomen, keening as he speeds his thrusts but Satoru only covers your mouth. Smile sinister as you scratch at his hand and push at his chest with wide eyes, muffled cries for Suguru goin unheard as your savior walks out the front door oblivious to your torture. Satoru fucks you even faster, fallin in love with your tight lil puss all over again. "Whose gonna save you now, y/n?"

Z = Zzz: Like previously mentioned, Satoru gets so drunk on your pussy it's written in the stars that he's driftin off soon as he nuts for the last time. Doesn't wanna squish his princess so will quickly turn you on your side or back, big dick still tucked deep inside as he drags you against his large warm body. "One sec.. Honey.. So tired, gonna.. get up inna.." Zzz. Suguru usually has to rectify the situation, pullin you from a whining Satoru or just plain smackin him. Loses all his patience if it's his turn to fuck. SLAP! "Ow! The fuck, Sugu?! What was that for?" He blinks rapidly, the nerve to actually be disoriented when he wasn't even supposed to be asleep! "Cause your in the way of my pussy, idiot. Don't pretend you ain't tackle me to the floor when it was your turn." Suguru replies, movin to smack him again. Now he of course he's just as tired as Satoru when he finishes. But only falls asleep right after if you decline aftercare. Snuggles up to the closest warm body and drifts into a peaceful slumber after a quick replay of the night's events in his weary mind.

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serendipityrogers · 1 year

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Hello! I couldn’t help but see your post about writing for COD men! If so, could you please do one that’s Price x reader where she takes a bullet for him? Angst and Fluff. Typical scenario I know, but there’s never enough Price. If that doesn’t work that’s okay too! Thank you!!

Desk Duty

pairing: john price x female!reader

word count: around 2.1k

content warnings: canon-level violence, injured!reader, mentions of someone getting shot, mentions of gun-shot wound, medical talk, kissing an authority figure.

an: hello! first off, thank you anon for this lovely request, hopefully you enjoy it, i am a bit rusty bc i have not written in forever. second off, to address the elephant in the room, i know this isn't marvel related, but i'm really into call of duty right now, and wanted to write for them instead. third of all, if you liked this piece, and want to request your own, my request are open! i am really only writing for cod men right now and maybe some select marvel people. thanks guys!!!!

You never understood the saying “It happened in slow motion.”

This was real life, nothing happened in slow motion, that was physically impossible.

Or so you thought.

All five of you were pinned down, trapped in a warehouse, taking massive amounts of fire. The enemy was closing in fast, and you were vastly outnumbered. It was the five of you, and a couple Marines, that’s it. This was supposed to be a run-of-the-mill mission, no one expected it to go sideways. Especially not this bad.

“Low on ammo, Captain!” Gaz yelled, tossing an empty magazine behind him. “Conserve. Wait till they get closer!” Price barked back. “Where is air support, sir?” You asked, as the both of you crouched down to reload. “Five minutes out, we just need to make it till then.” He explained, popping back up and firing towards the building across the way. Five minutes was a long time in combat, almost too long.

When you had this much adrenaline pumping through your body, it was natural to get tunnel vision. Only able to focus on the thing standing right in front of you, and at the moment that was about twenty enemy soldiers. Except, they weren’t all in front of you. They were obviously more well-versed in the area than you guys were, so they knew about a door to the warehouse you didn’t.

Out of your peripheral vision, you saw the sudden flood of light come from the door being ripped open. That’s when everything slowed way down. Three of them rushed inside, you were able to drop the first two, but the third one was too quick. And when his eyes landed on Price who was still facing towards the opposing building, you panicked. So, you did the first thing you could think of.

Grabbing your Captain’s ‘oh shit’ strap on the back of his plate carrier, you pulled him to the ground and out of the line of fire. As you kneeled beside Price, the enemy’s gun repositioned on you and before you had time to raise your own weapon again, he fired. The bullet connected, causing you to fall back against the cold concrete. Just as quickly as you fell, you watched the enemy’s body fall to the same concrete. Price let two bullets rip, one into his leg and the other into his skull. You stared up at the ceiling, clutching your wound, trying to apply pressure.

“Monarch is down!”

You woke up in the hospital two days later.

Apparently you passed out from blood loss.

It had been a tricky wound to treat in the field, so you had to wait for the air support to show up.

It was difficult for you to remember everything leading up to you being injured. You don’t remember the actual impact or being carried to the helo. It was all hazy. Gaz, Soap, and Ghost had gone over the incident with you many times, but it just never really came back to you. Not that you were complaining. No one wants to remember getting shot.

After a week and a half in the hospital, a month of physical therapy, and another month of training and sparring with your teammates to get you back in shape, you were finally cleared for the field. It was a miracle that you were able to bounce back this fast, it usually took many months to recover fully from an injury like that, but you liked to think it was solely because of how stubborn you were.

Everyone was super happy to have you back. Well, almost. There was only one more step you had to do: submit your medical release form to Price and have him approve it. You had only seen the Captain a few times, in passing, since the incident. It felt like he was avoiding you entirely, but you chalked it up to all the paperwork he was probably buried under right now, especially when a mission went that far south.

You walked down the familiar hallway, Price's office was at the very end. Nervousness flooded your body with every step you took. What could you possibly be nervous about? Was it because you were afraid to face him for the first time in over two months? Of course not, he was the same Price he was during that mission. Were you nervous he wasn’t going to approve you for medical release? No, he had to approve it, hell, you saved his damn life.

As you approached the door, you took a deep breath. You noticed a shake in your hand as you brought it up to knock on the door. Three loud racks echoed down the hallway. “Come in.” He called from the otherside of the door. You gripped the doorknob, turning it and pushed the door open with your shoulder. Price, as you suspected, was looking over a mountain of paperwork. His signature cap was discarded, and he was dressed in civilian clothes. He was in on his day off.

“Hello.” You greeted him, closing the door behind you. “Sergeant.” A man of few words, as always, but his tone seemed different. “I hate to do this, but I have some more paperwork for you.” You said with an awkward chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “It’s my medical release form.” You added.

“Set it there.” He pointed to the only clear space on his desk. His words sounded cold. After placing down the documents, you stood there for a few more seconds, seeing if he would say anything else. You know, ask how you were doing, or something, literally anything. But to no avail.

So, you turned on your heels to walk out without another word. As you touched the doorknob, Price cleared his throat to speak, spiking some hope into your heart. “I’m putting you on desk duty.” Almost instantly, your stomach dropped past your toes. He said it so monotoned, no ounce of emotion in his voice.

For a few moments you were stunned, left speechless. But once that initial shock wore off, anger began to bubble up in your chest. You could feel the warmth overtaking every inch of your body and your chest began rising and falling irregularly.

“W-What? But I’ve been cleared for the field.” You tried to keep your tone even, unwavering as you slowly turned around to face him. He had finally looked up, head propped up on his palm. Like his tone, there was no legible emotion on his face. No anger, sadness, or guilt. “Desk duty until further notice.” This time it sounded dismissive, like the conversation was over. What is said is done. Clicking his pen twice, his eyes landed back on the report in front of him.

“This is bullshit!” The words climbed up your throat before you could stop them. You could feel your fists clenching and unclenching at your sides. Your words caught the Captain off guard, but he only showed it for a moment. Not once had you ever questioned Price, or his intentions. But this time was different, if he thought you were gonna take this lying down, he was dead wrong.

“I’d watch your tone, Sergeant.” He spoke at you more sternly than before, clearly agitated by your outburst. And what he said next only added insult to injury, literally, “After that stunt you pulled, you’re lucky I don’t reassign you.” He used his pen to point at you, reaffirming his statement. That’s when all the logic and camaraderie flew out the window.

“You mean the one where I saved your life?” You spoke with malice, like venom was dripping off your tongue. “God forbid, I interfere with you taking a bullet to the skull.” You scoffed. “Is that the stunt you’re referring to?” You mocked him, echoing the term ‘stunt,.' You were trying to get under his skin, whether you knew that at the moment or not.

The Captain was boiling, you could practically see the steam coming from his ears. As you open your mouth to further instigate the situation, he slams his fists down on his desk. He stands up quickly, his chair tumbled to the ground behind him. “Exactly that stunt!” He barks. You’re the one caught off guard this time. It was rare for the Captain to raise his voice outside the field. Especially to you.

“You could have got yourself killed, soldier!” It only takes him a few steps to be in your face. You hold your ground even though you're terrified, you had never seen Price like this. “It’s in the job description, sir.” You rebutted between your teeth, adding the ‘sir’ to irk him more. It worked. “You were careless and clearly have no regard for your own life. You are a risk.” He spat.

“I’d die for you, Captain. No if, ands, or buts, about it.” You said with a straight face. “ So, if that categorizes me as a ‘risk,’ so be it.” He opened his mouth to speak again, but quickly closed it, and you noticed. “Say it, Captain. You never have been one to hold his words back.” You pushed him, feeding on his anger.

But all that anger seemed to be disintegrating. One moment it was there, and the next it was gone. Like your words flipped a switch inside him. He had this look on his face, like he was truly debating on his next words. “Say. It.” You demanded, necking craning upwards to look him in the eyes. His eyes fell closed, and a defeated huff passed his lips.

“Having your blood on my hands is something I can’t handle…” His voice was hushed, and now his eyes refused to meet yours. That was the last thing you expected him to say. He has always kind of coddled you, he was very protective. You always thought maybe it was because you were the newest member of the Task Force, but now you’re thinking it’s for another reason.

“W-What do you mean?” You asked, your mind went blank. All that anger was now mixed with a good dose of confusion. He didn’t speak, just ran his fingers through his hair, still avoiding eye contact. “Captain, look at me.” You uttered softly, and he didn’t listen. You’re not sure what overtook you in the moment, but your shaky hand reached towards his face.

“Please.” You begged, gripping his chin and forcing him to face you. When he didn’t pull away, you brought his face closer, your noses only inches apart. His eyes did finally flutter open, and you were greeted with a stoic, immersive shade of blue, you couldn’t look away.

“Captain, I–” He didn’t let you finish your thought, cutting you off by leaning in closer, pressing his lips against yours. They were soft, softer than you ever imagined. Especially compared to the coarse hair of his mustache and beard against your face. You even picked up on the taste of smoke, he had smoked one of his cigars recently.

All you could focus on at that moment was him. The way he placed your hands against his chest, you could feel his heartbeat through the soft fabric of his t-shirt. It was racing, ramming against the inside of his chest.

How his rough, calloused hands cupped the sides of your face, further melding your lips together. The way he handled you said a lot. He kissed you like he was in distress, barely giving you time to breathe between the last and next kiss, not that you were doing much breathing anyways. He made your body feel like jelly, your knees barely able to carry your body weight, so you gripped his t-shirt, tight, trying to steady yourself.

When he finally pulled away, he kept his forehead against yours. There was no talking, just heavy pants coming from the both of you. Did that really just happen? Was this a joke? You wanted to pinch yourself, wake yourself up from this dream. That’s when he spoke, breaking the silence, “‘m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” He apologized, trying to create more distance between the two of you.

Luckily, you still had a hold of his shirt, stopping him. “Respectfully, Captain, shut up.” You chuckled, which earned a small smile from him as well. “Is this why you avoided me for two and a half months?” You asked, snaking your arms around his neck. “If you think I’ve only had these feelings for you for two and a half months, you're more delusional than I thought, Sergeant.” He chuckled this time, placing his hands on your hips.

“So, the real question is, am I still on desk duty?”

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always-andromeda · 10 months

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Can you write an Adam Warlock x GN! Reader Smut fic? You can write it however you want...I'm just desperate for non fem smut fics of adam

– ⭒ 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝 ⭒ –

𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ▹ 1,283

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ▹ Being friends with benefits messes with Adam's head far more than either of you are willing to let on.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ▹ I don't think I've ever done gn!reader smut? So I'm really hoping that I did this justice for you, anon!! This little concept popped into my head randomly because I can so easily see Adam falling into this kind of situation. Also, I am so sorry my writing has been so sporadic lately </3 I’ve been having various health struggles for the last month and haven’t been super cognizant lmao.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ▹ smut (minors, please do not interact), reader's appearance, pronouns, and genitals aren't specified, thigh riding, general heavy petting, little bits of friends with benefits angst, kind of implied dom!reader and sub!Adam (if you squint), nothing else I can think of!!

No matter how many times you and Adam end up like this, he still finds himself questioning what exactly is going on. Your lips move so fast and he's just trying to keep up; trying not to let on just how long he's been craving the taste. Which has basically been since the last time you kissed him about a week prior.

It'd been after the team's last mission went particularly well. Quickly – and without any of the other Guardians seeing – you'd placed a chaste kiss on his lips and commended him for his performance. It was so fast and your tone had been so matter-of-fact that Adam had second guessed it had even happened to begin with. It wouldn't be too surprising if he started fantasizing about you.

Unfortunately for him, that was just you and your mixed messages. One minute you were all business and the next you were like this: keeping him anchored in place with a hand on his cheek as you took his breath away.

He supposes he can’t blame you. It made sense, wanting to keep a relationship like this hidden from the others. Though he wasn’t particularly well versed on the sensibilities of those around him, he could imagine this not being a good look for either of you.

And though he may not care what the others thought of him, you seemed to care. And that was enough to mean something to him too.

"You gonna touch me?" you rasp hurriedly.

Yes. Every single time it was a resounding yes. Even if his mind was telling him that he was in too deep, he couldn't help but dig himself deeper. He hates himself for it, but secretly he hopes that at some point he'll find more than the physical contact you provide. Maybe someday he'll hit some underground bunker and that you'd be gracious enough to let him in.

So he nods vigorously, his verbal agreement reduced to a hum as he captures your lips with his once more.

He's still inexperienced and, God, he hopes that you can at least tell that he's trying to learn. For example, he's gotten better at letting you take control. The first few times his hubris had gotten the better of him, making the encounter feel more like a power struggle than a release of stress. Now, he lets you set the pace; lets you figure out right where you want to be.

And right now you want him pressed up against the wall of the ship. You want his leg between yours. And you want to feel his chest heaving as you grind down on him in the secluded and quiet darkness of the hangar.

As soon as Adam pulls back long enough to meet your eyes, he catches the glint of want in them. Then he watches how your gaze sweeps downward. Right to his strong thigh.

You're both grateful that Adam's such a quick learner because he catches the hint before you have a chance to get impatient. With his back against the wall, Adam half expects it to crumble behind him as the scene before him unfurls.

His hands on your lower back keep you steady against his rigid torso. You're so close that he has no choice but to look in your eyes once more. They're half lidded and dark, already almost fucked out despite the fact that you've only just begun to grind against his thigh.

Adam holds you closer, increasing the pressure that comes with each brush of your hips. And pride floods his chest cavity when you groan deeply.

You let out a staggered little laugh, "Fuck, you're so good at this, Adam."

"Only as good as you've taught me to be," he quips with a tinge of tenderness. After all, there's something special to being so tuned into your body like this. He wouldn't trade that mastery for anything. The sentiment comes through tenfold when he nuzzles his nose against yours.

Briefly, his forehead touches yours. You feel the slight chill of the smooth golden gem that's right between his prominent brow. And it becomes all too apparent to you once more who he is; what he is. The chances that this means anything more to him are very little. What could one touch-starved mortal mean to a golden, god-like being?

You merely roll your eyes and dip your head against his chest, hiding from both his soft expression and the impending wave of pleasure that both threaten to knock you off your feet.

Truth told, with your body all over his, all Adam feels is the warmth. There's your hot breath as you work yourself closer and closer towards the edge. Then there's the pulsing heat between your legs that makes him painfully hard. That combined with the cramped confines of the hangar has him picturing you both discard your stifling jumpsuits.

His wishful thinking is interrupted by a groan that gets caught in your throat. "Ah, fuck, I'm so close–" you pant.

Before you know it, one of his hands snakes around the nape of your neck, cradling your head as it lolls back. Then his lips are on the side of your throat, kissing and nipping at the flesh as it trembles from the vibrations from your hums of pleasure. You can't help but wonder if he's somehow trying to absorb your sounds. Either way, the action makes you acutely aware of his strength once more.

If you didn't know any better, you'd fully believe that every part of him was built for this.

But you do know better.

Adam pulls back to chuckle, "I can't wait until we get back home."

And there's where the guilt starts to set in. Like clockwork, it inevitably hits. Whenever he talks so eagerly, you can't help but feel that giant pit in your stomach.

You try to match his energy with a hesitant smile. "What, being down here isn't enough for you?"

"Of course not," Adam furrows his brow teasingly. "Maybe we could have a night to ourselves when we get back."

The cavernous pit grows. You can practically feel your soul shriveling away as you mutter, "Maybe we should lay low for a while. Don't want the others to get any ideas."

Don't want either of us getting ideas too, you want to say.

The way the light fades from his eyes makes you feel worse. But he agrees. He says a small, "You're probably right," and you wish more than anything that you were wrong.

You don't care if the others catch on. Something else about this intimacy bothered you. Because if there was anything that being with the Guardians had taught you, it was that no matter how important love was...things would always happen.

You thought back to Peter and how lost he was when the team had lost Gamora. As much as he'd hated to admit it, that love and loss had changed him so thoroughly that the idea of it happening to you was terrifying.

Adam may not have been the child of a genocidal warlord. But he was still the child of an unstoppable master race of superhuman beings. And no matter how normal things may feel, especially being with him like this, you could never kid yourself into believing it could ever actually be normal.

So you offer him a halfhearted apology. You push yourself off his chest and shakily regain your own balance before returning to the upper decks. Most importantly, you don't look back. And you hope that sends your message sufficiently. That he stops wanting this. Because you doubt you could stop wanting him on your own.

#˚ʚ meda writes ɞ˚#guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy volume 3 #adam warlock #adam warlock x gn!reader #adam warlock x reader #adam warlock x you #adam warlock x y/n #adam warlock smut #will poulter #will poulter x gn!reader #will poulter x reader #will poulter x you #will poulter x y/n

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wingedquill · 9 months

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notes on survival (a preview)

so i blacked out and wrote like 4K words of a new fic concept. I don't think I'll be posting it on ao3 until it's entirely done (really do not need another currently-updating WIP) but wanted to share the first little bit on here with y'all (CW: kidnapping, violence against children) ---

Here’s how it starts, for Steve:

He’s ten.

He’s riding his bike. It’s a bit late in the day, but not that late, not nearly his curfew. The sun is still high in the sky, and he can hear kids shrieking with laughter a few streets over. They’d invited him to play with them, but he’d turned them down cause he wanted to check on the tadpoles he’d found in the pond last weekend.

He gets to a stop sign. A car pulls up next to him: old, gray, forgettable. The windows are down, but it’s summer. It’s normal. He wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

A bang. A scream.

“Help!” a voice shouts from the trunk. “Someone help!”

The driver looks over. Makes direct eye contact with Steve.

He knows, even as he starts pedaling, that he’s not gonna be fast enough.

***

Steve can’t really remember a time when he’d been un-messed-up. Not clearly, at least. He has the vague, stretched-summer memories of baking cookies with his mom, of somersaulting off the diving board at the public pool and getting yelled at by a lifeguard, of hiding in the woods simply because it was the best way to avoid his chores.

They’re nice memories, he thinks. Part of him wants to put them in a box and never touch them again. But they’re nice.

He’s good at pretending they’re all he’s made of.

But now he’s here. Walking through the woods. He’s not avoiding his chores but he’s also not hiding, and that’s probably the only reason why he’s not vomiting into the underbrush. Nancy’s hand is cold in his, and it’s enough of an anchor.

He’s not alone.

“Will!” he yells, his lungs burning with the force of the yell. “Will!”

He wonders if he got a search party like this.

***

They’re bumping down a road that’s more potholes than asphalt. The other boy won’t stop hyperventilating.

“I’m sorry,” he sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, if I hadn’t—”

“It’s okay,” Steve says, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when someone apologizes. You’re supposed to accept it.

He doesn’t even know what the boy is apologizing for, not really. He isn’t a kidnapper. He hadn’t tied Steve up and stuffed him in the trunk. He had only screamed for help. That’s what you’re supposed to do.

“I’m Steve,” he says. It’s important that the other boy knows his name. Vitally so. The man who took them isn’t gonna care, and he needs one person here who cares about him.

The other boy sniffles against Steve’s shirt.

“Ed,” he chokes. “I’m Ed.”

***

He’s cold. He’s tired. He’s gasping for air and his sides are on fire.

Second verse, same as the first.

“We gotta get your shirt off,” Robin’s telling him. “We need to, Steve, your dirty, lake-gunk sweater is embedded in those wounds, I don’t want you getting a massive infection on top of rabies. That’s like, for sure definite dead.”

He drags himself out of the hunting shack and into the Upside Down. Eddie and Nancy are huddled together by a fallen tree, Nancy giving him a quick rundown of how the hivemind works. Neither of them are looking.

“I can’t,” he chokes anyway. “They’ll see–they’ll know.”

Cross your heart and hope to die.

She bites her lip. She looks like his mom had, when she’d told him he wouldn’t be seeing Ed again. Like she’s cutting off one of his limbs to save the rest of him.

“Steve, they won’t care,” she lies.

He shakes his head.

“I’ll chance the infection,” he says. “I mean it Robin.”

She closes her eyes. Scoots around to the other side of him, putting herself between him and Eddie-and-Nancy.

“I’ll dress the wounds quick,” she says. “And give you my overshirt. That okay?”

He takes a deep breath. Hunches in on himself. He’s always been a bit too good at making himself unseen. A bit better than he would like.

“Okay,” he agrees.

***

“They’re looking for us,” he whispers.

He tucks his face into Ed’s shoulder, wishes they could hug. A hug would make this better, he thinks, if he could just get his arms around to the front. If he could just hug, and be hugged, he’d wake up. They’d both wake up.

They’d both be at home in their beds. They’d be safe. Mom would make him hot chocolate like she always does after nightmares, and he’d check to see if the robin’s eggs outside his window had hatched, and he’d be okay.

“Yeah,” Ed whispers back. “Yeah, they are.”

Around them, the car’s engine roars.

#steddie #stranger things #my writing #my fic #oh noooooo i wonder who ed could be #for those of you who remember me from my star trek days: no u don't

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pjblob · 3 months

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OC time! Prolly a bit early considering I made this tumblr alive again like a week ago but yk what i dont care.

Meet my PJ Masks OC Kitsu! To be honest, she was my first OC ever made… back then I was still trying to find a nice art style and I was too shy to make OCs. But yeah I saw other people making OCs so i was like “yo why not try it myself!”, so i made her back in 2017? 2018? Somewhere during season 3 of the show. She has gotten so many redesigns, but i’m pretty chill with this one for now :]

Her personality:

She is cunning and mischievous, always trying to find new ways of entertaining herself. She’s sharp-witted and a quick thinker, but can make very stupid decisions sometimes, especially when she’s full of herself. She normally can’t take criticism and will most likely take it as a joke, if not insult you back. She does love to tease people, trying to push them to their limits for the soul purpose of entertainment. She rarely takes anybody seriously, which is why she sees herself as higher than others. But below that, she’s very loyal and does care for the people she trusts the most.

She doesn’t know what her purpose is in this world, so she tries to just make the best of her experience by doing anything she wants. And the best way to do that is by causing conflict between everyone else. She’s not on anyone’s side really,, She will change sides depending on how fun it’ll be for her. Which does make her quite lonely at times. girly just needs some friends 😭😭💔

So her powers:

Kitsu has shape shifting powers, can take the form of anyone and anything she wants, but won’t inherit the powers of the one who’s trying to mimic. She can hold the form for as long as she likes. Her second power is Agility. She’s quite fast, can climb easily and dodge with no problem.

Now her backstory:

It’s pretty hard to talk about her backstory, because it’s very similar to munki-gu. Again, she was created wayy before him and it just so happened that the writers came up with the same idea. So I was kinda forced to change it 🥲

So in her verse, before mystery mountain was a floating island above the city, it was a part of a different universe. The mountain was on a land, where there was a village protected by 4 mountains, all on different sides of the land. The Dragon mountain of the East, the Vermilion Bird mountain of the South, the White Tiger mountain of the West and the Turtle mountain of the North(yes this is a reference to the four symbols, look it up). In the middle of these mountains was a town, which was protected by these mountains. An Yu lived on the dragon mountain. Since she was born of the “dragon blood”, she would be trained to become the protector of the mountain. (yes i have made designs for the other protectors too >:3)

There were loads of magical creatures living amongst the humans, most of which were harmful to them. So An Yu’s ancestors, having so much power and control, decided it would be best to imprison the creatures to prevent further harm. (hence why Munki-gu was imprisoned too) Kitsune’s were a big harm to society however, that their magical box prisons weren’t enough, considering they could shapeshift. So they decided to exterminate them all. An Yu witnessing all of it, decided to secretly save just one (that being Kitsu).

Years later, there was a war between the mountain guardians and ninjas, who wanted to steal their powers (I thought Night ninja and his ninjalinos could be descendants of them). It ended up in the universe getting completely destroyed, with An Yu having to sacrifice herself to save her mountain, getting imprisoned in the gong as a result. An Yu, after getting rescued, still held the burden of her ancestors imprisoning Kitsu’s species, so ashamed of their past actions, that she never tried to set Kitsu free. She was too scared to confront her, since she thought her and other magical creatures would rise against her and blame her for everything.

A few days after the PJ Masks rescue An Yu in the show, one day, they decide to give her a visit. While An Yu was showing the PJs around the pagoda, Catboy becomes a bit too curious and finds the box where Kitsu was imprisoned, accidentally letting her out in the process. When Kitsu was set free, she needed to give herself a new physical form, so she chose to mimic the first person to let her out, that being Catboy. But since she can only mimic the physical appearance of someone and not their powers, her “PJ Mask” suit didn’t include an animal symbol on her chest. Her suit can still light up when using her own powers though. Finally let out, she fled into the city, until she was ready to start causing mischief. After that, An Yu forbid the PJs from entering the mountain for a while, but still blaming herself for letting her guard down and letting Kitsu free.

so that’s what I have so far, the rest will be decided with time since the show is episodic annd literally anything can happen xd

hope u enjoyed reading this paragraph 🫶🫶ndhdhdhjd

#pj masks #pjmasks #pj masks power heroes #pj masks oc #pj masks au

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taylortruther · 8 months

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A traditional pop song follows this structure: intro - verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus - outro. Most of Taylor's songs follow this structure with a few alterations, usually minus the intro (she often has a post-bridge breakdown and/or an outro). Her songs are verse - pre-chorus - chorus - verse - pre-chorus - chorus - bridge - chorus/outro. Sometimes she has verse - verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus. Like in All Too Well: "I walked through the door with you" -> "oh, your sweet disposition". ("Photo album on the counter") Every verse has different lyrics, but same rhythm. The chorus is where the song speeds up because it's supposed to be the part of the song that gets stuck in our heads. With Taylor's songs, a chorus can be different each time but with the same rhythm. All Too Well: "cause there we are again in that little town street" -> "cause there we are again in the middle of the night" -> "cause there we are again when I loved you so". Or a chorus can be the same where the second chorus has added lines. Love Story: "Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone" -> "Romeo save me they're trying to tell me how to feel."

right where you left me is: intro -> verse -> pre-chorus -> chorus -> bridge -> breakdown -> verse (that's nearly the same as the first verse) -> pre-chorus (longer than the first one) -> chorus. This strange structure, the melody & rhythm, the rhyming scheme and the lyrical content all add to this feeling of "being left behind".

The intro is quick-paced but she slows down when she sings "but I'm right where you left me" and there's a drop in the rhythm the moment she sings "help" so it gives this feeling that all of these things (friends breaking up and getting married, rumours flying, etc.) are happening in front of you but you can't really pay attention because they happen SO fast. Life moves on in front if her but she's still at the restaurant. That verse is where the story really starts and she focuses on herself.

In the chorus she does something very clever with the lyrics. "You left me no" sounds like her begging him not to leave. Notice the way she's crying out the word "no". That line feels rushed, it feels incomplete so it makes it feel like she's trying to reach something, trying to say something but can't complete the thought and then she says the full sentence "you left me no choice but to stay here forever" and then "you left me" (and she elongates that "left"). So "you left me, no!" -> please don't leave me "you left me no choice but to stay here forever" -> you've abaonded me and now I'll never move on. "You left me" -> acknowleding the abandonment, which then immediately goes back to "you left me, no" because she denies the situation (she lives in delusion!).

Right after this chorus, comes the bridge. The bridge is a part of the song that connects two sections of a song. The bridge usually provides a break from the typical rhytm of the song (think Out Of The Woods' bridge). Bridges usually come towards the end of the song. So this immediate, rushed jump to the bridge adds to the feeling of being left behind. We've barely had time with the verse & chorus before she jumped into the bridge.

With the bridge, she writes like she's telling us a rumour. "Did you hear about that girl whose boyfriend dumped her for another girl?" It's almost like she isn't the one who's talking in that part. After the bridge, comes the breakdown and she goes back to talking about herself in the first-person POV "And you're sitting in front of me // at the resturant". This is the slowlest part of the song. time moves in a normal pace for everyone else, but for her it is painfully slows ("time won't fly, it's like I'm paralysed by it"). In this part of the song she's also finally telling us what happpened (he told her that he met someone) so there's a sense of relief for us because we finally understand what happened. She will never have this relief, she will never understand why he left her, and we see in the end of the song that she's still right where he left her

She moves on to the verse and it's the same like in the beginning "help, I'm still at the resturant" possibly because, since she's frozen in time, everything remains the same for her. But this verse is shorter, it ends with "they say what a sad sight" and she moves to the second pre-chorus where she says she bets he's got a "wife out there". She doesn't know whether this is true or not and even acknowledges that she's "unaware 'cause I'm right where I cause no harm // mind my business"

She might not be able to move on, but she does more than just replay the moment he left her. She also makes up a story where he moved on and is happy without her. She's digging even deeper in the wound.

With the rhyming scheme, she does this thing where she puts two AA rhymes in each line and then rushes the BB rhymes.

Friends break up, friends get married

Stranges get born, stranges get buried

"rumours fly through new skies" the rhymes are in the same line. They're rushed and, again, add to the sense of being left behind.

And then there's "But I'm right where you left me" which rhymes with nothing. This line just stands alone among the other, rhyming sentences.

With the verse she's rhyming each line: restaurant -> haunt -> light -> sight -> drop -> stop -> cloth -> on. This is hard to explain because I now sight and drop don't rhyme but haunt and sight do and haunt and drop also do (imperfect rhymes, though). So she, like the genius writer she is, is able to give the entire verse the same rhyming scheme. In the intro, everyone has the same rhyming scheme which is happening too quickly for her. Meanwhile, she's trapped in the same "resturant -> sight -> stop" rhyming scheme.

The pre-chorus has plenty of rhymes and each line has two rhymes.

I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

They expected me to find somewhere

Some perspective, but I sat and stared

She does something similiar to the intro with the bridge:

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy -> rushed rhyme in the same senfence

But then she adds another rhyme in a different line: "how it was supposed to be" so she lingers on that rhyme, just like she lingers on the life she should have had (a life where he didn't leave her).

In the breakdown, the come in a funny structure:

At the restaurant, when

I was still the one you want

Cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right

And then the rhymes are normal again:

I could feel the mascara run

You told me that you met someone

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

And in the second pre-chorus there are three rhymes:

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

I'm sure that you got a wife out there

Kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware

'Cause I'm right where

I cause no harm, mind my business

If our love died young, I can't bear witness

And it's been so long

But if you ever think you got it wrong

And notice the way she rushes over that "cause I'm right where" at this point we know the full sentence is "I'm right where you left me" and we'd expect her to say that but she switches to it and sings "I cause no harm"

anon i could kiss you on the mouth for this!!!! taylor's internal rhymes are one of my favorite things in her writing but also you broke down exactly why i think the fandom loves this song so much and you gave me a newfound appreciation for it. the bridge adding a sense of "rushing"/being left behind - and then going back to a slower pace, where she's been left - is blowing my mind a little.

#rwylm

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crystalsnow95z · 4 months

Text

Give me a V so sick with something like a mix bronchitis and the flu, getting so sick can't even sit up on his own. It starts with just a cough during practice or during filming, that keeps getting worse until he eventually throws up on either caretaker Yoongi or Namjoon your choice. His fever is so high his sentences don't even make sense anymore by the end of it and he's very clingy because to him he's freezing.

I want someone to snap at him accidently from the worry he puts them through because they fell for his acting.. sorry English is not my first language. I hope it makes sense.

I'll try my best to try to match the prompt. I'm sorry it took so long.. my emotions are all over the place and I can't seem to write anything I like..

"Jimin you're moving too fast." Hoseok scolds him while they watch the replay of their practice. "And Jinnie-hyung, you didn't get in your spot for the second verse in time.. we'll have to try again.."

"I'm sorry Hyung." Jimin bows, panting softly. "Could you show me again?"

"Me too, I got confused on where it was.. can you show me again?" Jin asks, wanting to fix his mistakes.

Taehyung clears his throat to speak, his heart racing to even ask."Please, hyung.. I'm so tired.. can we do it.. tomorrow morning?" He asks softly, breathing heavily from exhaustion. He wasn't feeling well all day, but he didn’t want to miss practice. Not on the first day of a new choreography. They've been practicing for hours, and he knew everyone was tired too but he was at his limit. I just need a few minutes to rest..

"We almost got it.. we just need to work on timing. Just one more time, okay Taehyungie? I know how you feel.." Hoseok felt exhausted too, but they had a tight schedule of photoshoots, music videos,an award show, and they still needed to record for Run BTS. They couldn't afford to slow down.

"Just a quick water break, then? My throat is so scratchy.. I..i think I'm getting a cold.." Taehyung goes to get water before Hoseok gives an answer, coughing into his elbow.

"Okay, a few minutes of rest." Hoseok's heart twinges with guilt when he heard the low pitched coughing, rubbing Taehyung's back until they die down. Why didn't he say anything earlier about feeling sick? I would've been softer on him..

Everyone else follows suit, getting water to try to regain at least a little bit of their energy back. Yoongi goes up to Hobi, offering him water. “Here Hobi.. you should drink too..”

"Thanks, hyung."Hoseok takes a drink, surprised when he feels Yoongi pulling him away from Taehyung, going out of earshot of the vocalist.

"Taehyungie isn't the one messing up, and he's looking pale. I think you should let him sit it out, i don't want him getting worse before the MMAs." Yoongi speaks up on Taehyung's behalf, seeing him leaning against the mirror out of the corner of his eye.

Hoseok follows his gaze, seeing Jimin approaching his fellow 95er, offering him a towel to wipe off the sweat after he was stolen away. "Namjoon-ah!" He calls to the leader, not wanting to overstep his place. He led dance practice, but he didn't feel comfortable deciding without Namjoon.

"What's up Hoba?" Namjoon goes up to the two, sitting on the floor next to Hoseok.

"Yoongi-hyung thinks Taehyung should sit out practice. I wanted to know what you think about the matter. You're sharing a room with him.. what do you think?”

"He went to bed early last night. I asked if he was okay, he said he was, that he just had a headache and a scratchy throat from the recording sessions and that he was tired from the new diet he started a few days ago..." Namjoon explained what he knew about his roommates condition, looking at Taehyung. “If you think he shouldn't continue practice I trust you'll do what's best for the team..”

Hoseok looked over at Taehyung and Jimin, watching Jimin baby his soulmate. Jimin was letting Taehyung lay his head in his lap, gently rubbing a towel over Taehyung's wet hair. "You're getting my lap wet. Be sure to dry your hair properly before we go home okay?”

Taehyung nods sleepily. “Okay Minnie..I'll probably take a shower. I feel gross..” he says softly, coughing into his fist.

"I think he should sit out the rest of practice then. I think he'll be fine, just watching for now. I don't want to risk him getting worse when we have so much to do.." Namjoon agrees with Yoongi. Even it could be just him overreacting to a cold.

"Alright! Let's start from the top without V-sii..." Hoseok gets to his feet, Taehyung moving off Jimin so he could get up.

Jimin takes off his jacket, putting it on the floor for Taehyung."Here, lay on this if you want to lay down. The floor is a bit cold.”

Taehyung nods, spreading it out and curling up on top of it, watching the others gather together in the center, leaving his spot open. He tries to watch them practice, but it wasn't long before the ailing vocalist was asleep.

Namjoon wakes up to his alarm groaning as he stretches out on his bed. It felt like he only just fell asleep. He came in from his studio early in the morning, trying to fix the hook to the new song he was working on.

Namjoon jumps when he hears Taehyung coughing, relaxing when he finds the source of the sound, quickly turning to worry."Taehyung-Ah are you okay?" He rushes to the side of the younger member when he continues coughing instead of answering, quickly sitting him up. "Taehyung..”

"I'm..I'm okay.." Taehyung says in between coughs, gasping for air. Namjoon runs his hand across his back until the coughing stops, gently propping him against the wall. "Thanks Hyung.."

"You're cough got worse Tae.." Namjoon says sympathetically, placing his hand on Taehyung's cheek. "You feel a bit warm. I don't think you should film today, you should rest."

"No, no I'll be okay. I just need to take medicine.. it's nothing." Taehyung pouts, not wanting to miss run BTS. "I'm okay.." he repeats softly, giving Namjoon his puppy dog pout."I can do it."

Namjoon sighs, struggling to say no. "Stay here. I'll go get you some water and medicine, but if it doesn't get better in a couple hours you have to sit it out.. we have a music video to film on Tuesday.." Namjoon gets up, quickly leaving the room to the medicine cabinet, pulling out the thermometer and cough medicine.

I don't want to sit at home alone while everyone else films.. I have to convince Namjoonie-hyung I'm okay..

Taehyung forces himself to sit up, drinking some water to try to make him look better than he actually felt when Namjoon returns.

I could deal with the sniffles, but now it feels like his chest was filled with water, making it hard to breathe. It's just a bit of a chest cold...i can handle this..

Namjoon comes back into the room with the medicine, lulled into a sense of false security when he sees Taehyung was up on his own.

“Here Tae, I found some cough medicine and some pain killers.” Namjoon gives him the pill bottle while be pours the liquid into the measuring cup, but Taehyung struggled to get it with his trembling hands.

“You okay Tae?” Namjoon frowns when he notices Taehyung losing his patience with the bottle. “Here, switch with me. I'll get it.”

Taehyung pouts when he watches Namjoon open it in seconds, not realizing he wasn't a twist, that he had to line it up the arrows and pop it open. He just wanted the pain to stop.

Taehyung takes the shot of medicine, coughing on the bitter taste while Namjoon shakes out two pills for him.

“Thanks Hyung..” Taehyung sniffles, popping the pills into his mouth and washing them down with water. “I'm sorry if I kept you up..”

“You didn't. I slept fine, don't worry about that..” Namjoon reassures him.“I'll pick you an outfit today. You go shower. It should help your sinuses.” Namjoon orders gently, hearing Taehyung's uneven breathing.

“It's okay I can do it on my own.. I'm worried on what you might choose..” Taehyung tries to sound playful, but a cough takes away any chances of it working.

“Hey, if you don't like my style stop stealing my clothes you punk.” Namjoon plays along, smiling when Taehyung gives him a smile.

“But your jacket is so comfy..” Taehyung retrieves the “borrowed” jacket from the suitcase he never fully unpacked from their last trip, quickly throwing together an outfit of sweats and a plain shirt.

“You can wear it today, but you got to give it back. Okay?”

Taehyung let's out a small hum in response, going to the bathroom where Jungkook was washing his face with Hoseok.

“Good morning Hyungie, did you sleep well?” Jungkook greets him warmly.

“Are you feeling any better Taetae?” Hoseok asks, looking him over. He could see that the red tinge at the rip of his nose and that his face was drained of his usual honey color he had in the summer months.

“yeah, yeah I just got a bit of a cold.. I'll be okay..Namjoonie-hyung got me some medicine already.. I was going to take a hot.. shower to try to clear my sinuses a bit.” Taehyung says suppressing another cough. He tried to sound nonchalant, but both boys could hear him having to pause in-between sentences to breathe.

“You don't sound okay..” Jungkook frets, rubbing the back of Taehyung’s neck, feeling the tension.“I'll get the water ready for you.”

Taehyung strips while Jungkook adjusts the water to be steamy, but to not burn his ailing hyung. “Thanks Kook-ah..”he smiles, undressing to get in the water.

Taehyung is looking really thin. Was he that small last week? Hoseok searches for his phone, looking through his photos, finding the photo he was looking for.

He took a photo of Jimin and Taehyung during the last run bts episode, and Hoseok was right, even with his soaked shirt clinging to his body Taehyung still looked bigger than he did now.

Taehyung got in breathing in the steam to try to ease the congestion, coughing up phlegm as quietly as possible. It feels like there's no end to it..

“Taehyungie don't take too long, you still need time to eat.” Hoseok warns him, his voice thick with worry at the sound of him coughing.

“I'm not really hungry Hyung, I'll eat later.” Taehyung's voice is nearly drowned out by the shower.

“Just try for hyung okay?” Hoseok asks, leaving with Jungkook when Taehyung agrees with a soft ‘okay’.

“what's up Hyung? You look like you're deep in thought.” Jungkook asks while Hoseok leads him go the kitchen to eat.

“Huh? Oh..no. it's nothing. I'm just worried if doing run bts will be too much for Taehyungie.” Hoseok keeps his discovery to himself, not wanting to draw anymore attention to Taehyung.

“I hope it's nothing physically taxing..” Jin agrees, giving a portion of rice to Hoseok and Jungkook.

“He seems to have more energy than yesterday, but his cough sounds worse..” Namjoon looks towards the bathroom, focusing to see if he could hear him coughing.

“It'll be fine, we'll just keep an eye on him. If someone thinks it's too much we'll make him stop. He'll pout but he'll get over it.” Yoongi calms his members with his quick solution.

Taehyung spends a little too long in the shower on purpose to avoid eating. The thought of eating made him feel queasy. The shower helped loosen the mucus, but it only changed his problem from being completely clogged to dripping down his face.

“Are you almost finished Tae?” Namjoon calls from the other side of the door.

“Yes.. sorry Hyung..” Taehyung replies, turning off the water and quickly drying off. “I just need to dry my hair and get dressed..”

“Alright, if you hurry you should be able to get a quick bite before we go.” Namjoon leaves Taehyung to finish getting ready, going to the other members.

“He wasn't asleep just quiet..” he informs the other members, going back to his cup of coffee.

“Maybe the steam and medicine really helped him.” Jimin says with a hopeful expression, but that wasn't the case.

Taehyung has just gotten really good at hiding it.

Taehyung tries to sniffle quietly, the cameras rolling as the seven of them pick teams. The challenge this week was soccer, being in theme with FIFA World Cup since their team made it to the finals.

“I got red.” Jimin says looking at his paper.

“Me to.” Taehyung smiles, hugging onto Jimin.

“Same here..” Yoongi says complaining softly when Taehyung pulls him close. “Agh, Taehyung don't grab me, don't grab me..”

Everyone else got on the blue team, except for Jin who got a purple mark. “Mines..purple?”

“I'll explain it. The matches will be four on four. We got a special guest. We will be doing a quiz to see who will be on the team with a professional player, the loser getting whoever got the purple card..”a staff member explains.

“Ah, that's what this is..wait, i'm a consolation prize?”Jin pouts.

“No, no. You'll be MC for the quiz. It's just the luck of the draw.” the director waves his arms, clearing the confusion.

Just my luck. All seven of us are playing.. I was hoping to be the MC and stay on the sidelines..

Taehyung tried to quietly cough while staff was explaining the rules. It was only a little past noon, but exhaustion was already hitting him hard, pursing his lips together as he yawned.

Namjoon went over to staff, whispering in their ear. “Can we just have our guest with Taehyungie's team? He's not feeling well and think he should have a handicap..”

“We need to do the quiz or the episode will be too short.. I'm sorry.” The director bows apologetically.

“No, no it’s okay. I have another idea..” Namjoon bows, returning to his team.

“What's Namjoon up to?” Jimin watched with curiosity when he sees Namjoon's worried expression and the staff apologizing.

“Probably telling them about Taehyungie.” Yoongi shrugs, watching Namjoon gather his team. Or he's planning to find a way to help Tae..

“I'm okay,it's just a bit of runny nose and cough. No big deal.” Taehyung gives them a smile, but they could still see the pain in his eyes and the congestion in his voice when he spoke.

“Please don't push it, Taetae, it doesn't matter if we win or not.. There's no penalty, just reward, and you're more important than a prize, so take it easy. Okay?” Jimin asks, pressing his palms together as he pleads, knowing how competitive he could get, especially against Jungkook.

“I promise I won't, don't worry o..” Taehyung feels the itch building in his throat, turning away from him covering his face with his arm the coughs he was holding back come all at once.

“Taehyung..” Jimin braces Taehyung when he starts to double over, helping him gently sit in the grass.

Yoongi rushes to get him water, the other four members moving past him towards Taehyung to check on him.

“Taehyung I don't think you-” Namjoon goes to cut him out of the game,but Taehyung shakes his head, spitting out the thick mucus that forced its way out onto the grass.

“I'm fine..I'm fine, I..just choked a bit..” Taehyung says in between deep breaths. “Please Hyung, I want to play..”

Yoongi returns with a water bottle, giving it to Taehyung and a few cough drops.

“It's nice outside today and can just be a goalie. I'll be okay, please.. I don't want to disappoint army..they are always so sad when someone's missing..” Taehyung begs, opening his eyes wider and tilting his head slightly, looking like a pouting puppy.

“Taehyung-ah..” Jin uses a stern tone, softening when he sees Taehyung's face drop, eyes threatening tears. Sh*t, he's at risk of getting worse either way.. he's just going to beat himself up about it if he doesn't play..

Jin sighs, rubbing Taehyung's shoulder. “Fine, you can play until we think you're at your limit, no arguing about it.”

Taehyung lights up again. “Thank you hyung!” He wraps around the oldest member, hugging him. “I'll take it easy. I swear.. I can do this..”

“Don't make me regret this..okay?” Jin hugs him back, rubbing his back.

“I can't wait to play with everyone!” Taehyung ignores Jin's comment, giving a bright smile. I won't let them down..

Jin gets the questions from staff, watching Taehyung closely as they go through the questions. Taehyung whispered an answer to Jimin,clearly avoiding yelling his name to be called on.

“Jimin! False!” He answers confidently, trusting Taehyung despite not knowing if it was the right answer.

“correct!” Jin confirms, quickly getting to the next question. He wanted to get through the episode as quickly as possible, and it was clear the other members felt the same. They fly through the quiz, getting to the last question within ten minutes.

“mid-fielder!” Hoseok yells the wrong answer confidently, even though he knew it wasn't right. The score was tied and he didn't want to win the match. Taehyungie needs a good player so he can rest more..

“Wrong!” Jin tells him, turning to Taehyung's team to answer.

“forward! He's a forward!” Jimin replies excitedly, putting his team at the five points they needed.

“Aiish…” Hoseok pretends to be upset about losing, looking down in defeat. “Sorry..”

“It's okay. It's okay. Seokjinnie-Hyung is pretty athletic too, he can bounce the ball across those wide shoulders.”

“Come join us Seokjinnie-hyung!” Jungkook calls to Jin with open arms. “Join the losing team!”

Jin runs to Jungkook, the two hugging.

“I'm sorry I didn't help answer many questions, I couldn't remember anything about soccer..” Taehyung apologizes, bowing his head.

“Don't worry about it, I only got two answers right out of the five questions I tried answering..”

“Don't worry about it. It's good to rest your voice right now.” Yoongi reassures him. “we won. Be happy.”

“Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Lee Kang-in..” Their fourth player comes to them and after a brief introduction the game begins.

“Hyung over here!” Jimin calls to Yoongi to pass the ball to him, wanting to keep the ball as far away from the goal where Taehyung was.

Yoongi passes the ball, Jimin running it away from the goal, but Jungkook quickly intercepted it.

Taehyung only had to watch the ball, but he was finding it hard to focus. The sun felt unconfirmed warm against his back, wiping the sweat from his neck despite the fact he hasn't moved much since the game started.

He almost didn't notice the ball flying towards him from Jungkook's powerful kick, trying to brace himself to catch it, but he ends up moving too slow, the ball going straight into his stomach, knocking him into the net.

“Hyung!” Jungkook rushes to the goal, dropping to his knees next to Taehyung. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kicked it that hard. Are you okay?”

Taehyung nods, unable to stop his coughing. He couldn't tell if was from getting hit or if it was from holding them back, but he could hardly breathe.

Jungkook lifts up Taehyung's shirt, tearing up when he sees the red mark on his stomach where the ball hit him. “I need ice! An cold press…something quickly or it'll bruise up!”

“It..it's okay Koo..it.. it was an accident.. don't cry..” Taehyung tries to comfort the younger member between coughs.

Jungkook gently rubs his hand across to try to ease the pain, staff quickly coming to ice the area. “Will he have to go to the doctor? Is it bad?”

The staff member gently presses the reddened area, watching Taehyung's reaction. “How badly does it hurt?”

“It's okay.. really.. just a little bruise.. nothing serious..I just got the wind knocked out when I fell on my back..” Taehyung takes a few deep breaths, the cough dying down again. My head,chest and throat hurt more than anything..

“Don't act tough if it hurts Taehyung-ah, you could get serious injury from getting hit in the abdomen like that..” Yoongi sits next to him, checking himself. Taehyung didn't give any reaction to him pressing the ice pack against him, and Taehyung's breathing quickly slowed again.

“I'm fine hyung. Thanks for worrying though.” Taehyung hugs Yoongi, making the Deagu rapper tense up.

“You're really warm Taehyungie.. you shouldn't be that warm..especially with that cold press against your belly..” Yoongi places a hand on his cheek, feeling the heat coming off of it.

“What? No..no I'm okay.. it's just a little hot.. I just need water and to not stand still roasting in the sun. I just need water..” Taehyung breaks away from Yoongi, making it to his feet to try to prove his point.

“Sit Tae. I'll get it.” Hoseok runs to get him water.

“The score is tied at three.. two more points and someone wins, I'll be fine. It's almost done.” Taehyung reassures his worried brothers, taking a drink of water.“Just let Me finish the episode. Then I'll rest all you want..”

Taehyung got his way with the members, pushing another five minutes for the game to finish.

“We won Taetae! We did it!” Jimin cheers when he shoots the ball past Hoseok's out reached hands.

Taehyung wanted to cheer with Jimin, but he knew if he tried to scream with him he'd only cough again. Instead he opted to run towards his open arms hugging him close. “We won.” He smiles, speaking in a softer tone.

Jimin could feel Taehyung's heart racing much faster than it should, even with him leaving the goalie position to play, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. Taehyung was smiling and that's all that mattered right now.

Jimin went to let Taehyung go, but his soulmate was still clinging to him, only tightening when he tries moving away.

“I'm..I'm dizzy..” Taehyung whispers, closing his eyes to try to ease the feeling. Even with his eyes closed, being completely still, he felt like his body was spinning. He takes deep breaths to try to stay conscious, but they come out as shaky panting.

“Taehyungie..” Jimin strokes the back of Taehyung’s head, trying to keep calm despite his heart rate spiking with worry when he feels Taehyung leaning heavily against him, unsure on if he was panicked or just unable to catch his breath. “It-It's s okay.. it's okay I got you.”

“I'm..I'm okay..i..I just..” Taehyung tries talking,trying to calm Jimin, but the tickle in his throat causes another coughing fit, burying his face in Jimin's shoulder. Sh*t..

Jimin slowly lowers Taehyung to the ground, turning him to lean against his chest, gently rubbing his chest to try to ease the pain for him. “You're really sick, Tae.. my poor baby..”

Taehyung gasps for air in-between coughs, his lungs burning as he desperately tries to fill them with air, squeezing Jimin's hand as the hacking cough continued. “Can..can't…” Can't breathe.. it hurts.. it feels like I'm trying to breathe under water..

“Hold on.. it'll be okay..Hyung will fix it..”

Namjoon quickly runs to the van, getting one of the portable respirators, out of breath himself by the time he returned to Taehyung. He holds it up to the vocalist's mouth, relaxing when Taehyung took a deep breath, followed by another before coughing again. “Breathe for me Taehyung..just take deep breaths..okay..?”

Taehyung nods, panting in-between coughs until they finally stop.“I'm..I'm sorry.. im..I'm okay now..”

“No. You pushed yourself to hard Taehyung-ah.. I knew this was too much for you..” Yoongi hisses, annoyed with himself for not putting a stop to it.

He seemed fine after drinking water and popping in a cough drop. He wasn't coughing.. just a bit breathy and hoarse. He wasn't stumbling when he ran, just a little cautious..

“I'm sorry Yoongi-hyung..” Taehyung apologizes softly, forcing himself to sit up straight again. “I just wanted to-”

“No more excuses Taehyung. You were warned to be careful and you still pushed yourself, lying to us every step of the way when we tried to help you. You need to know when to accept that you can't do something. You'll drag the whole team down with your mistakes. How will you do a tour with a cough like that?” Yoongi sucks in his breath when he hears the harshness in his tone, eyes widening when he looks at Taehyung's expression.

Taehyung tenses, eyes pooling with tears, covering his face with his trembling hands. His stomach churned with guilt, swallowing hard. “I l-let you down?” he sobs, his voice shaking. “I ru.r.u.in..d it..f..f..’ He couldn't get the words to form, his voice turning into a cough that rattled his chest.

“No, no Taehyung I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that..” Yoongi reaches for Taehyung, but the ill vocalist pulls away from him. “Tae…” he whispers, eyes widening. “I'm sorry..”

Why are you sorry? I'm the one who got sick.. who refused to admit it.. I deserve this.. they might cancel the tour because of me..

Taehyung pulls his knees to his chest, burying his face inside them, his breath coming out in short gasps.

“Yoongi leave him alone for now okay?” Jin says with narrowed eyes. Taehyung had always been sensitive, especially when he wasn't feeling well. “he needs to calm down..” How could you lose your patience like that? You were so gentle with him yesterday..

Jimin wraps his arms around Taehyung forcing him to lift his head, wiping his tears away. “hey.. hey don't cry.. it's okay.. he's just worried about you. He's scolding you out of love. Yoongi-hyung isn't mad at you..”

“B-but..i..i..” Taehyung tries talking, but it only makes him start coughing again, leaning into Jimin when another ripple of vertigo crashes over him, making him feel sick to his stomach.

“TaeTae, shh.. don't talk right now.. it's okay..I know..you only wanted to make army happy, but being sick and not taking care of yourself will make them worry..so let's focus on getting you home..”

“the..the..outro?” Taehyung whispers, sniffling to try to make it easier to breathe.

“No baby, we have to get you home. We can film one later.” Jimin tells him softly. “You're more important than the episode. It can wait..”

“Jungkook-Ah, help me get him out..”Namjoon whispers, not wanting to wake Taehyung. He slept through the whole car ride home, coughing in his sleep.

Jungkook puts his hand on Taehyung's cheek to keep him from falling when Namjoon opens his door, moving out from next to the sleeping vocalist.

“Sit him up just enough for me to get my arm across..” Namjoon orders softly.

With Jungkook's help he gets one arm around Taehyung's shoulders and another underneath his legs, slowly pulling him forward. Jungkook follows, not moving his hand until Taehyung's head was able to rest on Namjoon’s chest.

“He's light..” Namjoon frowns, whispering softly as they go inside. “And I'm already sweating.. we need to cool him down.. “

“We don't want to risk waking him. With that cough, it'll be hard for him to fall back to sleep. Don't mess with him until he wakes up, okay?” Jin orders, his heart sinking when Taehyung starts coughing, holding his breath until the coughing dies down again. “He didn't wake.”a mix of concern and relief filled his voice.

“I'll stay with him until he wakes up..” Yoongi speaks for the first time since he tried to apologize to Taehyung. His health dropped so much after I snapped at him.. the doctor almost kept him overnight.. this is partially my fault. This is the least I can do..

“BTS would be better without you. You're nothing but trouble. I knew that the moment I laid eyes on you that you'd never listen.” The Namjoon in Taehyung's dreams looked at him with annoyance, leaving the room.

“You're a big cry baby who just holds everyone back.” Yoongi adds in next. "This is your third time getting sick this month. You can't handle being an idol." He followed Namjoon out.

“You shouldn't sign the contract with everyone else. We'll be evened out, 3 vocalists and three rappers.” Jungkook takes the pen that Taehyung was holding, disappearing out the door.

“BTS is everything to me.. you guys are my family.. I want to stay with you..” Taehyung sobs, covering his face. “I want to stay.. please stay with me Jiminie.."

“Well you're no longer wanted. I'm tired of your mistakes.. I'm tired of having to listen to you whine and cry because you don't know how to handle being an idol. Just quit already.” Jimin says with a cold tone that makes Taehyung's heart shatter.

Taehyung felt something shaking him, pulling him out of the nightmare, tears pooling down his cheeks. He doesn't even take the time to look who It is. He just wanted the comfort of a person.

“Taehyung..it's over now.. it was just a dream. You're okay..” Yoongi speaks softly, stroking Taehyung's soaked hair.

“I..i..I do..don..'t..w.e..wa..ewn..i..st..ay..ay..no..” Taehyung tried to speak, but the words came out as a jumbled high-pitched sob. "I.i..wan.."

“Taehyung-ah, baby.. you need to breathe..I don't know what your saying.. you have to calm down..” Yoongi panicks when Taehyung doesn't respond to his voice, tears still streaming down the vocalist's cheeks, coughing out words that didn't even sound like a real language.

Taehyung clung desperately to Yoongi as if he let go he would leave him just like the one in his dream. His breaths came out as small quick squeaks. “Hy..hy..ng..m..m..s..r..y..” He closes his eyes tightly when he another wave of dizziness crashes over him, leaning into Yoongi.

“Taehyungie..you have to breathe..please..you're going to faint if you don't..Taehyung look at me..” Yoongi uses his finger to push Taehyung's chin upwards so their eyes meet, his chest tightening when he sees the redness in Taehyung's cheeks and the blue tint in his lips. “Taehyung please..” He pleads, eyes shining with tears. I don't know what to do, and the others won't be back for another hour..

Taehyung blinks, trying to get his eyes to focus on Yoongi, unable to process anything except that he was crying, reaching to touch his cheek to confirm he was seeing correctly.

I made him cry.. I made him worry even more.. why can't I do anything right? I am nothing but a burden.. I'm sorry, Yoongi..

Taehyung tried taking deep breaths, but the coughs wouldn't stop. Each attempt was more painful than the last, his sides burning with effort. “Ca..ca..can't..” he whimpered, his stomach lurching. It was too much stress on his body, his muscles searing with pain from his efforts to breathe. “Yoongi..” Taehyung tries to quickly push Yoongi away from him, but Yoongi didn't let him go, coughing up a mix of rice, water and mucus down Yoongi's back.

“Sh*t.. Taehyung..” Yoongi releases him, eyes widening. He wasn't concerned about the mess, only about the ailing vocalist, quickly looking for a bin when he hears him gagging again. He finds a trash can underneath the desk, quickly putting it in Taehyung's lap for the next round of sick.

Yoongi quickly strips off his shirt, holding Taehyung from behind to help support him, having his arm around Taehyung's chest to keep him from falling forward.

Taehyung gagged up another mouthful of thick liquid into the bin, whimpering from the burning in his muscles as they pushed up more.

“I got you baby, it's okay.. it'll be o-over soon.. just try…try to breathe..” Yoongi spoke both to Taehyung and himself, feeling his own heart hammering in his chest almost in sync with Taehyung. He could hear his stammering, cursing himself for letting himself get worked up when Taehyung needed him to be strong, wiping away his tears furiously.

The sickness ends just as quick as it started,hardly having anything in his stomach to throw up. He leans into Yoongi, panting heavily in between coughs. He continued to force himself to take in deep breaths, shivering violently despite the sweat that coated his body. “im..im..sorry.."

"It's no big deal.. it's my fault for not letting go. It's just clothing.." Yoongi tried to keep his voice steady, but he could feel Taehyung's shivering against him.

"I'm..I'm freezing..:

Yoongi didnt need to check with s thermometer to know he had a high fever. He could feel the uncomfortable heat radiating off of the younger member.“You got one h-hell of a f-fever.. you need to go-”

“No! No..I wa..wan..” Taehyung panicks, the memory of his dream still fresh in his mind, struggling to hold back his coughs, failing miserably. I'll get better.. I promise.. please just let me stay..

The door opens to the room, Yoongi's head jerking up towards the sound, letting out a sigh of relief when he sees the other members entering the room.”You're here..” Yoongi sniffles, biting his lip to try to stop new tears from forming. They cut it short to get back sooner..

“Yoongi I think you need a break.. Me and Jimin can take over okay?” Namjoon wipes the tears from Yoongi's cheeks.

“No. No I can't go.. not un.until I kn..know he's okay..” Yoongi shakes his head, but doesn't stop Jimin from pulling Taehyung to him. Jimin can calm down Taehyung better than I can..

“At least go get some water and take a few minutes to breathe..” Namjoon gently pushes him, but Yoongi tenses his body, making himself as heavy as possible. “Hyung..” He's really worked up…what happened while we were gone?

Namjoon didn't ask out loud,not wanting to add more fuel to the fire. "Did you give him any medicine?"

"No, he was too shaken up..I only just..just..now got him to stop hyperventilating.." Yoongi was trying to keep his emotions under control, but his voice still trembled.

“It's okay Hyung. We'll get him better, just try to calm down. You'll get sick too..” Jimin strokes Taehyung's hair. “Poor Taetae.."

“Minnie..” Taehyung clings to his new care taker, only then processing who had him. “I'm so.so..rry. I w..wo..won't cry any..an..more..I won't..”

“What? Taehyungie I don't know what you're talking about. Baby it's okay to cry..” Jimin blinks twice, perplexed about what his soulmate was talking about.

“He..he had a bad dream..” Yoongi explains, taking a deep breath. “It made his fever spike..he was..wasn't breathing, he j..just kept..coughing and when he tried talking..” he trails off, the image of Taehyung’s terrified face flashing through his mind.

Namjoon pulls Yoongi into a hug. “Hey, hey you don't have to talk about it..it's okay. You did your best.” He's hardly breathing, and I can feel his heart pounding. He's just as scared as Taehyung..

“Taehyungie, I promise I'll never be upset with you for crying. You're my best friend..I'll always be here when you need me.. every single one of us will. Don't ever feel like you need to hide your emotions from us.. we're family. We need to stick together..”

Jimin's words started getting through to Taehyung, his heart starting to slow. This..this is the Jimin I know..that one..the one in my dream..

“Taehyung..” Yoongi reaches for his hand, finally finding the words he needed to say, cheeks tinging pink. “I love you.. that's why I got so upset earlier.. I shouldn't have said it like that.. I just..” he sighs. There's no excuse for snapping like that.. I'm supposed to be the older brother..

Taehyung squeezes Yoongi's hand. “I love you too..” He smiles weakly, coughing into his elbow.

“Are you calmed down enough to take some medicine baby?” Jimin asks, brushing the bangs from Taehyung's forehead.

“I don't know..i think I might throw it up..my stomach is in knots..” Taehyung admits softly, his body already growing heavy with exhaustion.

“Will you try for me? If we can't bring your fever down we'll haffgh..” Yoongi stops him from finishing his sentence, covering Namjoon's face with his hand.

“We'll figure it out. I'll try cooling him down with a wet cloth or give him a bath.” Yoongi didn't want to risk a repeat of when he suggested it.

“He's asleep..” Jimin whispers when he feels Taehyung's body grow heavier in his arms. “Aiish, he's like a heated blanket that's up too high..”

“I'll move him then.” Namjoon offers, but Yoongi is already gently moving Taehyung onto the bed.

“I'm going to go get the wash cloth and water..” Yoongi sways when he stands, Namjoon quickly grabbing his arm to steady him. “Woah, careful Hyung.. don't get up so fast.”

“You've been crying. You should drink some water first. I'll go get you some.” Jimin gets up, to get some water, but Yoongi doesn't wait for Jimin to return to go into the kitchen filling a bowl with luke warm water.

“Hyung I said to take it easy..You aren't looking well..”Jimin sighs, passing him the water bottle. His hands are shaking, and he looks so pale.. he really needs to rest..

“Its just a headache from crying. I'll just take some medicine and I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. It's Taehyungie who's suffering.” Yoongi takes a drink of water, then takes the bowl of water and a wash cloth into the bedroom.

It doesn't matter how I bad i feel.. Taehyung is more important..

Continue?

#bts sickfic #bts boys #bts #bts fanfic #bts sickie #bts taehyung #bts jhope #bts namjoon #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bts min yoongi #bts suga #sick!fic #sick!taehyung #bts v #bts jin

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dc418writes · 2 years

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Sweet as Can Be

✨Pairing✨: trucker!Ari Levinsonxblack!reader

Summary🪄: Ari has a surprise waiting on your special day

⚠️: pretty much all fluff💕, Ari being the sweetest husband, tiny insinuation of adult times towards the end

A/N🎙: This is my submission into @sparkledfirecracker writing fest that hopefully encompasses the cheesy element you were looking for☺️ (if not I’m sorry and can definitely try to do something else!). I’m finally deciding to try to get over my fears and participate in more challenges, so hopefully you guys like what I came up with!

“Alright, I’m calling you right before opening the door as you so randomly asked.”

“I know it’s weird, but it’ll be worth it I promise,” he smiles. “Now go see Ella first. She’s been helping me with all this.”

Doing as you’re told with the phone pressed against your ear, you lightly knock on your neighbor’s door still trying to figure out what your husband could possibly be up to.

“Ari what all do you have planned? And what’s this for?”

“You’ll see, just be patient gorgeous.” Ella’s usual cheery features soon appear as she opens the door holding a bag of groceries in one hand and small basket in the other. Even her little girl, Bea, seems to be helping out as she holds a small, purple flower vase filled with a low cut arrangement close to her chest.

“Happy Anniversary!”

“Appy Verse Airy!,” Bea adds with a toothy grin as she bounces on the balls of her feet.

“Aw thank you so much guys!,” you smile reaching out to take the items from their respective arms.

“Aht! Ari gave us very specific instructions to help you get these in the apartment, so if you wouldn’t mind opening your door please.”

“And tank you!,” Bea adds. She really might be the most adorable kid you’ve ever met.

“Well, can’t go against Ari now can we?,” you grin hearing his chuckle on the other line while leading them across the hall.

With a quick goodbye and a wish for you, and Ari, to have a good night, Ella and Bea are gone just as fast as they came leaving you alone in your cozy apartment. “Ari?”

“Hmm?”

“Our anniversary is in January. What’s this?”

“True it’s not our wedding anniversary, but it’s something just as important…the day we first met.” Sure enough, looking through the grocery bag you find a bottled pineapple daiquiri and a pack of Heineken instantly taking you back to that bar all those years ago.

“I know it’s probably corny, but it’s a day I’ll never forget and wanted to treat you to something special,” he explains nervously rubbing the back of his neck. What if you thought it was too much, and he should’ve just left things alone?

“No it’s sweet, thank you. And how could I forget? That’s also the day you stopped me from making the worst decision of my life,” you giggle taking a moment to sniff the colorful bouquet on the counter in front of you.

There’s collective groans from those at the bar watching yet another missed goal attempt from the Bruins’ center. Ari was sure this was somehow his karma for betting on a game with money he didn’t have. He just knew his team would win though; even the analysts from the pre-game show were sure.

But that ten percent chance at a loss was biting him in the butt right now.

“Looks like they’re cursed tonight,” the older man at the end of the bar with his Guinness sighs taking a drink.

“Cursed or still drunk from the night before,” the bartender chuckles along with the other men.

“At least it’s just the second period. And we’re tied at zero so we still got a chance,” Ari speaks.

“Always seeing the glass half full,” his friend and fellow trucker, Nick, states holding up his glass signaling for another round.

“Makes life a little better when you do.”

“Yea, but I’m a little surprised seeing how you got $200 riding on this game. Expected you to be the first one crying in the corner if I can be honest.”

“Call me crazy, but I gotta hunch everything’s gonna be fine.”

Just as the commentators announce a commercial break, the bell of the front door chimes followed by the apprehensive clicks of heels across the hardwood. From the corner of Ari’s eye as he tilts his head back to take a swig of his beer, he catches curious eyes searching around the bar and head of dark curls swiftly going back and forth.

Just in a simple burnt orange tank, covered by a dark grey sweater, and ripped jeans cuffed at your ankles stopping right at the small buckle of your strappy, black heels, you took Ari’s breath away. If you stepped outside right now, he was sure you’d stop traffic and cause a couple accidents as well.

Your eyes met briefly making the beefy trucker softly smile and feel giddy at your own beautifully curled lips. That was sadly short lived though, as you walked past to the man coming from the restroom equally as excited to see you from the tight hug and kiss he placed on your cheek.

The loud cheers of those around startle him back to the game seeing Bruins players and those in the stands cheering after their one goal.

“Ya see that?! Guy went between the legs, dodged a Pens player to score the goal,” Nick smiles excitedly clapping his friend’s shoulder and giving it a slight shake.

“Um n-no I missed it,” he answers. His intense blues peeking at the table about eight feet away one more time before his attention goes back to the players gliding on the ice. Being the nosey friend he is, Nick followed Ari’s gaze to see the couple talking and occasionally laughing with their hands intertwined on the table.

“You know them?”

“Nah I just saw her walk in and-,”

“Ah..say no more,” Nick nods drinking from the tall glass. “She is cute though.”

“Yea, but unfortunately he got to her first,” Ari sighs finishing his drink. Time passes and the bar fills with a few more people looking to catch the end of the game or to get a few drinks after a long day. Every so often, his eyes drift to your table wishing he was the one on the receiving end of your soft giggle. The one who could feel your fingers graze against his arm making goosebumps appear in their path.

“I’m gonna go to the restroom really quick. Can you get me a refill please?,” he hears you ask your date before drifting off towards the back.

God, even your voice was heavenly.

It was like clockwork how fast the door slammed open as soon as you disappeared. The angry blonde not searching long before seeing her target at the table by himself.

“Working late huh?,” she asks with arms crossed across her chest. Whether they wanted it or not, they now had the attention of the whole bar curious as to what would happen next.

“I-I was! I just finished maybe half an hour ago and decided to stop by for a drink,” the model-esque CEO answers. The glistening sweat on his brow can be seen from all the way across the bar.

“Mhm. And who’s purse is that? A ‘friend’ from work?”

“Noo, this lady went to the bathroom but didn’t need to take her purse so she asked if I could watch it for her.”

Oh this guy was something else.

“Look, I know you’re upset and you have every right to be. I should’ve just come straight home and had a drink with my girl, especially when I know all she’s been wanting is to spend some time with me.”

That seemed to butter her up enough from her features relaxing into a smile before standing on her tip toes to peck his lips.

“I thought you didn’t care.”

“Of course I do sweetheart. In fact, why don’t we stop by the mall to get that Chanel you’ve been hinting at?,” he smirks leading the woman towards the door.

“They’re still open?!”

“Yea but not for long so we gotta hurry,” he winks tapping her on the bottom as they exit the building leaving everyone except Ari unbothered.

“Poor girl,” he thought to himself. Soon you’d come out to an empty table definitely confused at why your seemingly great date decided to up and leave. And poor random blonde lady, who didn’t deserve to be bought as a distraction from her boyfriend/husband’s cheating ways.

“Um excuse me?,” he hears interrupting his thoughts as he turns around. Your nervous smile makes his heart melt although you definitely couldn’t tell. “I’m sorry to bother you, but do you by chance know where the guy at that table went? He was about ye tall, in a button up?”

Should he tell you the truth? No doubt breaking your heart and ruining your evening? Or try to make up something as a cover to not get involved? Either way, he’d go home feeling terrible.

Sighing as he passes a hand through the chestnut strands on his head, he turns in his seat so you’d have his full attention. Not that you didn’t have it already.

“This isn’t easy to say, but he left…with another woman. Some blonde who he definitely didn’t just meet if you uh catch my drift.”

The small gape of your full lips and your disappointed “oh” nearly has him wanting to find whoever that guy was himself.

“Last time I use a dating app,” you half-heartedly chuckle to yourself. Shaking your head as you try not to cry frustrated tears in the middle of a bar in front of this brawny man and his friends. “Thanks for letting me know. Have a good night.”

He didn’t know you, but he wished there was something he could do.

Collecting your purse and sweater, you return to the bar feeling like a child standing next to the giant men who were tall even sitting on their barstools. “Hey, um the guy that was over there? Did he already pay?,” you ask finally catching the bartender before he could get someone else’s order.

“Nope, just left without so much as a see ya.”

“Why am I not surprised,” you mumble to yourself searching for your wallet.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ari states shifting in his seat to retrieve his own out of his back pocket.

“What? No, I can’t let you do that.”

“Too late. Tommie, put it on my tab please.”

“Well thanks,” you smile. “That’s really nice of you.”

“S’nothing. Just look at it as my way of trying to make up for a crappy evening,” he shrugs with a tilted smile so powerful you could feel it’s effect down to your toes.

“And down the line when I tell this story of my worst date turned good, I should refer to my hero as?”

“Ari, Ari Levinson,” he answers sticking out his much larger, slick with moisture hand for you to shake. Both of you freezing at the droplets of water touching against your respective skin. “I promise it’s water from the bottle, not sweat.” For someone who looked so intimidating, you couldn’t help but feel as though he had a huge teddy bear hidden behind that thick wall of muscle.

“It’s okay. Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

Another round of cheers erupts in the dimly lit room as the alarm from the lamp signals another goal from the Bruins now giving them a two-nothing lead. And distracting Ari long enough for him to miss you writing on one of your business cards.

“It was nice meeting you Ari!,” you shout over the many voices sliding the white paper near his hand.

‘Same time next weekend?’ Your neat handwriting read making his bearded cheeks heat and no doubt shift to a reddish color. Dread immediately overshadowed his excitement though, remembering his job and free weekends from here on out would be far and few. His mouth was set to explain he couldn’t make it, but you were gone. Only the light ringing of the front bell was left in your wake.

“Man you better thank your lucky stars, for a second-,” Nicky starts, but turns to watch his friend rush out the door looking both ways before finding whatever it was and jogging to the right. “Huh, looks like everything’s gonna be alright for you after all Levinson.”

His thick stature helps him along the concrete sidewalk from those moving out of his way, not wanting to run into, and possibly anger, him. Eventually, he passes enough yellow streetlights to get close enough where you could hear him call your name.

“Hey, did I forget something?”

“No I uh, I got your note, but next weekend isn’t the best for me,” he explains catching his breath.

“Oh, that’s okay! Just text me a time that’s good for you.”

“See that’s the thing…I don’t know when there’s gonna be a good time for me.” Your furrowed brows and slight head tilt causes his nerves to grow not sure how you’ll take his news. “I’m a truck driver…a-and my schedule right now can have me gone weeks at a time. Not that it’s always like that though! It’s uh just for the time being.”

Now this could go a few ways. Most popular from his experiences lately, was a laugh in the face how that’s not much of a real job. Or immediately declining any chance of a date happening since he wasn’t in a certain tax bracket. More specifically, a rich tax bracket.

Plus trucker’s didn’t really have the best reputation thanks to those horror movies.

“Oh....well…I guess dinner is out of the question then.”

Slowly nodding his head before his gaze stays glued to the ground below with hands deep in his pockets, he can’t say he’s surprised by your response. In fact, he knew you deserved more.

Someone who could give you more whether that be material things or their time.

“Physically that is.”

Using his fingers to comb his hair out of his face, his own adorably furrowed eyebrows leave you smitten already. “Come again?”

“There’s always FaceTime? Or Skype if that’s not good for you?”

“No! No, FaceTime definitely works.”

“Alright, then it’s a date?”

“It’s a date,” you both smile hopeful for what could come next.

Searching through the basket, a delightful grin graces your lips finding everything you’d need for a relaxing night in. A couple of your favorite scented bath bombs and salts, bubble bath liquid along with the adjoining lotion sure to have everyone on the floor smelling you, and even a pair of new baby blue pajamas.

You can definitely tell Ari picked them out from the nearly see-through material and lace on the matching tank top and shorts.

“Aww honey, you shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to.” You can hear the wind rush past his ear as he walks outside. “Oh, and food should be there in five, 10 minutes.” He truly is a treasure that man.

“If we weren’t already married I swear I’d be over there down on one knee,” you state making a hearty laugh escape his lips.

“I’m glad you love your surprise gorgeous. Now go take a bath and spend the rest of the night not thinking about work. That beautiful brain and body deserves rest.” The scrape of a chair scooting against the floor along with small chattering tell you he’s more than likely at a diner. It’s where he usually liked to stop when he was hungry and had the time.

“Okay okay, I’ll go after the food comes,” you smile settling against the pillows of your couch. “What’re you getting?”

“Don’t know yet,” he sighs scanning the plastic menu in his hands. “Part of me wants just a regular burger and fries then the other wants something different. Wanna help me pick?”

“Sure, then after maybe you could help me with something?”

“Of course, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” you answer suddenly shy as you twirl the tie of your pants around your finger. “I was just thinking after you’re done and I’m in the tub…you could um help me relax even more.” You’d think as long as you’ve been together, and as many times you’ve partaken in this type of “quality time”, it’d be easier to come out and say.

All you can hear from the other end is rustling with shouts of “hey” and “you can’t be back here” before Ari repeatedly says sorry as he moves about.

“A-Ari?”

“Yea I’m still here sweetheart, hold on,” he states before placing the phone to his chest. “Hey Lucille, I got an emergency to take care of but can you get a number four ready for me? Yea just give me a call when it’s ready, I’ll come pick it up.”

It takes everything in you trying to hold in your laughs from his “oof” followed by another sorry. The wind rushes by once more as he jogs along the dark asphalt to the cab hidden within the waiting truck. Soon the undeniable thud of the driver side door closing, and click of the cab’s, fills your ears instinctively making you bite your lip in anticipation for what was to come.

“Alright gorgeous you helped me, now it’s only right I return the favor.”

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oneunexpected · 8 months

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This, I think, is my best chapter-by-chapter playlist so far, especially in the last eight or so songs. It's for Marks of Secret, and I hope you all enjoy! Listen along here.

1 - Symphony no. 5, mvt II by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - This is a looooong chapter. It mostly establishes where Gregor’s family is at after the events of Curse of the Warmbloods. I didn’t really have a song in mind for it, and I still don’t. Maybe one day I’ll come back and change this, but for now it’s the second movement from Tchaikovsky’s second movement, because it’s got a little sadness, a little contentedness, a random jumpscare (like the Bane), and this chapter has all of that.

2 - Paranoid Android by Radiohead - The Bane is moody and unstable and so is this song! When Thom Yorke sings, “When I am king, you will be first against the wall,” I think about the Bane and Ripred. Another line I like is “Ambition makes you look pretty ugly / Kicking, screaming Gucci little piggy.” Pearlpelt’s our Gucci little piggy, deluded on all the things Twirltongue’s promised him.

3 - No Surprises by Radiohead - Back to back Radiohead! I struggled with this choice because this chapter covers a lot and has three pretty distinct tonal shifts. I related the line “A job that slowly kills you” to Gregor’s increasing anxieties about his role as the Warrior, both in regards to Ripred’s request he help him kill the Bane, and the specter of the next prophecy, which he asks Nerissa about. The song’s lyrical content is pretty dark, but the tune is sorta peaceful, so I hope this song doesn’t take you out of the chapter’s happier moments.

4 - Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac - I wanted a song about some sort of dark temptress for Twitchtip. I don’t know many. It was either this or Jolene, and Jolene doesn’t seem quite as shadowy as Rhiannon does, so here we are.

5 - May I Have This Dance by Francis and the Lights ft. Chance the Rapper - This song is so sweet, and so is this chapter. It’s about setting down any burdens you carry to just enjoy someone’s company.

6 - Cover Me by Björk - “This is really dangerous / Cover me” are good lines for the first time Luxa really ever asks anything of Gregor. I chose this version over the album version because I like the arrangement more, but you’re welcome to check out the other version, or the remix, which is longer.

7 - You’ve Been Flirting Again by Björk - Luxa and Gregor fight a ton in this book, and I could have chosen this song for any one of those times, but process of elimination sort of led me here. The last verse in particular, “How you reacted was right” followed by “Give her some time, give her some space,” fit well in this chapter. You can almost hear Ares telling Gregor that in the dialogue.

8 - Reptilia by The Strokes - While I chose it mostly just because it sounds like a fitting song for a combat scene, I like the repeating prechorus lines, “Please don’t slow me down if I’m going too fast / You’re in a strange part of our town.” Seemed like good lines for Gregor’s out of control raging here. Lyrically, there’s plenty here to imply the narrator is sort of struggling with himself, and that his partner (or whoever he’s addressing in the song) is losing patience with him, which fit close enough with the aftermath of what Gregor does here.

9 - Just a Game by Birdie - My obligatory Hunger Games soundtrack song for this book. Chose this song for the date subterfuge — Gregor doesn’t know how much of his quick lie reflects how he really feels.

10 - Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap - “All those years / They were here first.” You might know this song from the Lonely Island/SNL digital short “Dear Sister,” one of the greatest gifts to the internet, or from its sample in Jason Derulo’s 2009 classic “Whatcha Say.” Mysterious, creepy, heartbroken, it’s everything I wanted for the picnic bunch investigating the Fount.

11 - Earth by Sleeping at Last - This is probably a little on the nose, since this is a song that uses an earthquake as an extended metaphor, but I think lyrically it works with Luxa really well here. She’s got her tough walls, but like the narrator saying, “Fault lines tremble underneath my glass house / but I put it out of my mind / long enough to call it courage / to live without a lifeline,” this is the chapter where she learns she has to rely on the people in her life, namely her cousins. She needs Hazard the same way Gregor needs Boots. But she needs Howard, too, because as tough as she is, sometimes she needs someone to take care of her sometimes.

12 - Your Best American Girl by Mitski - Gregor and Luxa talk about the date subterfuge, and they both sort of mutually imply that if they weren’t (very literally) living opposite lives, they’d be interested in one another. This song captures that sort of cultural divide and yearning in spite of it.

13 - Shout by Tears for Fears - I’m jumping the shark. I had no clue what to use here. I went with this to try to represent Howard as a moral compass. I got nothing.

14 - Running to Stand Still by U2 - Consider this my return to form, because this was a song I knew I wanted to use from the beginning. This song is about a woman in a lot of turmoil deciding that she’s “gotta do something about where we’re going,” and, well, this chapter is about that, too. On a personal note, this song has been one of my favorites since I was a child, and I really hope you enjoy it. The last verse is so haunting: “She is raging, she is raging / And the storm blows up in her eyes / She will suffer the needle chill / She’s running to stand still.” Luxa’s decision is going to have horrific consequences. But in her eyes, it’s what’s necessary to finally be still.

15 - Joan of Arc by Arcade Fire - Luxa is the Joan of Arc in question here, the Regalian’s “muse,” as the song puts it. Gregor’s upset with Luxa, and he questions his place in the upcoming war, which I thought fit well with “I’m the one with the heavy heart / ‘Cause I’ll follow you.”

16 - The Ruler and the Killer by Kid Cudi - Thank you once again to the Hunger Games for delivering me a song about themes Suzanne used in both series. This is a great song for the version of the Bane we see in this chapter, who is a compelling orator rallying his troops to do something unspeakably evil — even though we don’t know the extent of his atrocity yet. “When I talk, you should listen / All of you belong to me / Come on, we should get it going / Now what I want is specific, hey hey.”

17 - Butchered Tongue by Hozier - How kind of Hozier to release this song last week! We learn a little more about the extent of the Regalians’ colonizing behavior here, and since that’s done largely through discussing the different languages in the Underland (and how not knowing English can be a death sentence for other creatures, as it nearly was for the Scorpions), I thought this song was a good fit. Also, it sounds cool.

18 - Ribs by Lorde - I chose this song for the moment Luxa and Gregor have here, when they’re just enjoying one another’s company, feeling very far from the war waiting for them. Gregor reminds himself soon he’ll leave her land forever, but it’s no comfort. Lorde laughs with a favorite friend “‘til her ribs get tough,” but like Gregor, she knows “that will never be enough” to sustain their relationship in the face of lost innocence and the passage of time.

19 - Redbone by Childish Gambino - Since this song is about paranoia in a relationship and the sense of being surveilled (or even stalked), I chose it for the discussion about the rats that attacked Gregor under the palace, and Luxa and Howard’s anger at Ripred and Gregor for not taking the gnawers’ omnipresent threat.

20 - The Night We Met by Lord Huron - This is Gregor and Luxa’s biiiig fight, the one that clues in Ripred to Gregor’s attraction to Luxa. I chose this song for Gregor’s haymaker, the suggestion that Luxa and Gregor could forget that they ever met each other, mirrored in the repeating line, “Take me back to the night we met.” I also like the lyrics, “I am not the only traveler / Who has not repaid his debt.” When he’s cooling down from the fight, Gregor thinks about how much he and Luxa owe each other, how interconnected their lives have become and that reminds me of those lines.

21 - Never Tear Us Apart by INXS - I think this is a good song about the relationship bonds have and their devotion to one another. I particularly like it for Ares and Gregor, especially because the chorus reminds me of the circumstances of their bonding. “I was standing / You were there / Two worlds collided / And they could never tear us apart.” This chapter is one of the most important moments for Ares and Gregor’s relationship. Ares has to give his trust up completely to Gregor to “let him fly for a change,” as Gregor says, and I think Gregor’s behavior is so touching, whether for his insistence that he be the one to bring Ares in, or the way he rambles reassurances to keep Ares calm. Ares begging Gregor not to leave him is like a punch to the stomach every time I read it. I wanted this chapter’s song to reflect how unshakable their relationship has become.

22 - O Children by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - I won’t try to analyze this song too much because I’d be here too long, but I encourage you guys to go read the lyrics to it, because I think they’re all impactful. One of the verses that led to my selection was “Poor old Jim’s white as a ghost / He’s found the answer we lost / We’re all weeping now, weeping because / There ain’t nothing we can do to protect you.” I see Cartesian as Jim, finally getting the horrific proof of what he always suspected — the gnawers are trying to kill all of the nibblers.

23 - Mothers of the Disappeared by U2 - This song was written about the Madres de Plaza de Mayo, the mothers of the activists and political dissidents forcibly disappeared — that is to say, kidnapped, tortured and murdered — by the United States-backed Argentine military junta that ruled from 1976 to 1983. I encourage you all to read about the Madres, because they were remarkable, and if you’re American, I think this is a historical event you need to know about. I think it is up there among the worst things this country has ever been responsible for. But I digress. I chose this song for its lyrics, a very poetic depiction of witnessing political violence, and the beautiful expression of grief in the music. The last two verses are haunting: “Night hangs like a prisoner [God, what a line] / Stretched over black and blue / Hear their heartbeats / We hear their heartbeats / In the trees, are sons stand naked / Through the walls, our daughters cry / See their tears / In the rainfall.” The picnic squad are the only witnesses of what’s happened, the only ones left to “hear their heartbeats,” and it sets the course for the rest of the series — and really, each one of their lives.

24 - The Unforgettable Fire by U2 - On the nose, but I chose this song to use the volcano itself as the unforgettable fire in question. “Walk on by, walk on through / Walk ‘til you run / And don’t look back / For here / I am” reminded me of Gregor when he’s trying to find the rest of his party or a way out of the ash or… anything, really, to save him from his situation. I don’t know what I’d interpret the “I” to be in that situation. The nibblers? The volcano? His despair? It all seemed to fit.

25 - Fly On by Coldplay - When Pandora dies, Luxa tells Howard that she’ll “fly with him always,” which is what reminded me of this song. The song goes, “Fly on, right through / Maybe one day I’ll fly next to you,” which to me fit well with Howard teaching Hazard how to carry the memory of his loved ones.

26 - Orphans by Coldplay - I don’t know why it seems like any time I use the same artist more than once for one book, I use them back-to-back, but I love this song for this book. Get ready for some serious lyrical dissonance. It’s a happy-sounding song, but it’s about how war tears lives apart. I chose it for the refrain, “I guess we’ll be raised on our own, then / ‘Cause I wanna be with you ‘til the world ends / I wanna be with you ‘til the whole world ends,” which reminds me of Gregor and Luxa at the end of this chapter. The idea of kids who sort of have to raise themselves fits well for both of them, too.

27 - Trouble in Town by Coldplay - Okay, I know three in a row is a little ridiculous. I mostly liked the way this song sounded for Gregor and Ares speeding back to Regalia to warn the city about the impending attack, and because it’s from the same album as “Orphans,” it was already on the brain.

#gregor the overlander #underland chronicles #tuc20 #tuc20: mos #marks of secret

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coraline-piange · 8 months

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an analysis and interpretation of first time by hozier

okay so. i have spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about the song and talking about it to my friends and eventually wrote this little ig you could call it essay about it and thought "why not share it with other people?". this is not a perfect analysis or anything, i literally wrote this on one go last saturday afternoon so like. don't expect too much profoundness lmao. anyways, if you're also obsessed with the song pls let me know your thoughts xoxo

the song starts with the speaker telling us they have always been uncomfortable with hearing their name and feeling disconnected between their body and their soul, calling it "an uneasy ally". their soul "felt nameless as a river undiscovered underground". there's an identity here that is removed from their name, removed from what society tells them their identity should be, waiting to be discovered. it is buried under their skin, and flows through their body. the image of a river brings with it the association of the possibility of a high tide, of unrest. this is reinforced by calling the soul an "uneasy" ally. this secret identity is a source of sorrow, discomfort, unrest and pain for the speaker. however, that "awful sound" that is their name and therefore their identity suddenly is a good sound coming from the addressee's mouth. being observed through the love interest's eyes changes the speaker's perception of their own identity.

in the second verse the speaker drinks the river lethe "dry" the first time they kissed the addressee. the river lethe is one of the five rivers in the greek underworld. specifically, it represents oblivion, forgetfulness and concealment. the word lethe is also connected to the word "aletheia" which means truth — or more accurately "un-forgetfulness" or "un-concealment" through the privative alpha. here the speaker drinks in forgetfulness, drinks in some kind of concealment while kissing the addressee: they are entering a lie.

the next line references the river liffey, saying it would have been easier on their stomach (than the lethe). liffey is a river in eastern ireland that flows through dublin which is only 20 km away from bray where hozier was born. it represents home therefore but with a bittersweet twist to it. even drinking from this river that is supposed to represent comfort and security would have been less painful than drinking from the lethe, drinking in a lie. there seems to be a history there, something that would have made drinking from the liffey still painful. the origin of the name for the liffey is not entirely clear. there's some speculation that the name of the plain "life" which it was named after comes from an indo-eurpoean language that was spoken in ireland before the celts arrived. in this case, the river would represent life, and drinking from life would be painful - but not as painful as drinking in a lie. another name for the river used to be "an ruirtheth" which means "fast or strong runner". the implication is that running away from whatever the love with the addressee represents would have been less painful than what ended up happening.

however, the addressee "spoke some quick new music" that "soothe[d] this soul". a soul that always has been and always will be "unearth without a name". the hidden river inside of the speaker was calmed down by the addressee but it remains, just waiting to be discovered, to be given a name, an identity.

then comes the chorus. a part of the speaker "must have died / the first time that [the addressee] called [them] baby". this is immediately contrasted with the next two lines, saying a part of them "came alive / the first time that [the addressee] called [them] baby". it is a process of revival and dying, happening simultaneously. some part of the speaker dies - that undiscovered river that is smoothed over, that is unearthed but yet remains nameless. however, there is an uncertainty about it. it "must have" died implies a speculation from the speaker. they think that is what happened but they aren't quite sure about it. in contrast, the wording of the second part of the chorus is much more definite: some part of the speaker did come alive when the addressee called them baby for the first time. the certainty contains the more positive force that changes the speaker.

in the second verse, the lyrics evoke imagery of a grave: the speaker's mother leaves flowers "here", that they think they owe their life to. the line "gifting life to you again" represents the idea of reincarnation, being reborn. the speaker lives "mostly underground", seemingly cut off from their senses ("unknowing either sight or sound"), cut off from their body. this could be a nod to the speaker's body being a grave their soul is buried in, suffocating. only their mother who has given them their original name and identity, the one they detest so much, seems to reach out. the speaker feels they owe her for this, she is the reason that in their outward death, they remain alive inside.

however, when the speaker "reach[es] up for sunlight", they are "ripped out by the stem". any search for joy, warmth and life ends in pain, in being uprooted and in being rejected. only then does the speaker realise they are dying: their river is "drying out, then drowning blindly". they are simultaneously depleted of their secret identity, being denied authenticity and drowning in the high tide that is their want for authenticity. the flowers, representing the life their mother planted have been "ripped out by the stem" and are now "blooming forth its every colour / in the last moment it has left". there's a sense of urgency, of showing "your true colours" before it all ends, before it is too late.

life is suffering, life is pain. sharing the space with "simple living things, infinitely suffering" implies the pain inherent in living, in existing in this world. and yet it also means "fighting off […] the absence of itself" for "all creation". being alive means fighting death, means fighting to survive, means fighting to keep existing, and that connects every living being.

then comes the chorus again. here are two small changes in the lyrics. this time around it's "each time that you called me baby". the speaker and the addressee have come to a regularity. and each time the addressee called the speaker baby, another part of them died, their identity slowly being chipped away by the lie they first entered when they kissed. the other change is that a part of the speaker "stayed alive" when being called baby. there's no resurrection, no part being reborn and coming back to life the way there was in the first chorus. instead, there is a steadiness the addressee provides. this steadiness is reinforced through the repetition of "each time that you called / each time that you called". there's an ellipse here, leaving out the part "me 'baby'" that was included in the preceding similar lines. this breaks up the steadiness, and makes room for something missing, implying an absence. the speaker stays alive each time the addressee calls — there is an implication of dependency and maybe even desperation; it doesn't matter what the addressee calls the speaker, as long as they speak the speaker will stay alive.

this is underlined in the bridge with the repetition of the line "whatever keeps you around, it keeps you around". "around" here can mean alive, and the speaker is in a way saying the end justifies the means: as long as you stay alive, it doesn't matter how. this is accompanied by the speaker telling the addressee to "c'mere", craving maybe the way the addressee makes them feel partly alive.

the third verse starts with the line "the last time it was heard out loud". "it" refers to "baby" which stands for the name and for the identity of the speaker, dressed up as an endearment that soothes. this last time left the speaker and the addressee "shocked". it is unexpected and abrupt. "the perfect genius of our hands and mouths" could either mean a creational energy during the intimacy between the two or reference the idea of guiding spirits called genii from the ancient roman religion. their hands and mouths were shocked, not even the guiding spirits could foresee an end to the regularity and to the dependency established in the second chorus and bridge.

they were shocked "to resignation as the arguing declined", realizing their relationship had already died alongside the speaker during the second verse. there is no point in arguing, no point in continuing to use "baby" to soothe the unhappiness of the speaker.

the speaker poses the question "are there limits to any emptiness?" that they have been wondering about since they were young. they are familiar with a feeling of emptiness, with the dried-out river inside them. they are looking for an end, looking for a way to stop the emptiness from consuming them completely.

they can't even remember when the last time was that the addressee called them baby and smoothed over the emptiness. they ask: "when was the last time? / c'mere to me, when was the last time?".

the third chorus changes the lyric to "the final time you called me baby". this is the end that was indicated in the third verse, resumed in the finality of the last chorus. the implication here is that the end of the speaker's dependency on the addressee to soothe over their emptiness, their river, has left them to fully die. the last tie to the living world has given way. and then there comes the "but". the speaker has lost their connection to life through their significant other and died "but some part of [them] came alive / the final time you called me baby”. the end is also a beginning, a resurrection and rebirth. this is similarly structured to the very first chorus but the parts that die and come alive are switched: in the first chorus, the speaker's hidden identity dies while their name, their assumed identity comes alive. there's a temporary comfort in it found in the love of a loved one. in this last chorus, the remains of the assumed identity die together with the relationship. and out of the ashes, the hidden identity can start to rise.

the song is about being different than society expects you to be and having to hide parts of you, then finding comfort in the affection of a loved one but ultimately realizing that it isn't enough, and gaining the courage to be your true self, uncovering the parts you have concealed before.

#hozier #first time #first time by hozier #song analysis #lyrics

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